ADULTHOOD

INT: AN ICE CREAM PARLOR

Robin, a teenager, has just started working as an ice cream

scooper.

ROBIN

Is this real life? Is this what people

do all day long, day after day? I’ve
now wasted two and a half hours of my
life scooping ice cream onto cones for
whining children with runny noses. I’m
going to go insane. And my arm and
shoulder really hurt. I never realized
that using a spoon could be classified
as exercise. Man, I’m going to have to
do stretches before I come back here
tomorrow.

Oh god, I’m going to have to come back

here tomorrow. Again. Tomorrow and the
day after that and every day for the
rest of the summer. How does anyone
have a job for longer than a week? I
feel like I’ve been watching people
going to their jobs my whole life and I
just assumed it would be better than
this. Why have I been spending seven
hours a day in school learning vocab
and science and calculus? I don’t even
use algebra here, I just type buttons
into the cash register.

Oh, great, here come four more kids.

I’ll ask them the same exact questions.
“One scoop or two?” “Regular cone,
sugar cone, or waffle cone?” “Do you
want a sample?” This can’t be right.
People weren’t meant to live like this.
There’s supposed to be more to it than
repetition.

(MORE)
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 (CONT.)
This must be a nightmare. No, this must
be hell. Oh god, no—it’s adulthood.

www.InstantMonologues.com - Copyright ©2014 Savetz Publishing, Inc.

Permission is granted to perform this monologue in any capacity. However, this monologue may not
be published (print, online, ebook or any other media) without written permission.