2. Do a behavioral diagnosis of your ego states. Also, mention situations of each ego state.

CLUES CONTROLLING NURTURING ADULT FREE ADAPTED

FROM- PARENT PARENT CHILD CHILD
Words “You should have “I’m here for “I think we “I’m so “I’m sorry, I
done it my way. you. It’s going should pause happy today, know it’s my
This is the correct to be alright. I for a moment today I had mistake,please
way to do this care about how and calm the best day don’t be upset
thing.” you’re down. Let’s of my life with me. I
feeling.” first think with you won’t do it
about this guys, let’s again.”
situation plan
again and something
continue this like this for
conversation next week”
when we are
ready to talk
about this.”
Tones Stern, Gentle and Firm but not Cheerful and Fearful and
authoritative. calm; harsh; excitement; conforming;
reassuring. assertive. humming. Submissive,
timid.
Gestures Pointing my Placed my Nodding in Using avoiding eye
index figure to hand on her response. exaggerated contact,
emphasize my shoulder. hand nervous
point. gestures to gestures.
emphasize
ideas.
Postures Sitting with a Was sitting Either sitting standing in a Appearing
straight and rigid with an open or standing; relaxed and small and
posture and not relaxed. open timid.
approachable manner,
posture. often
appearing
carefree
Facial Maintained a Had Pursing lips; wide smile Worried,
expressio serious facial Comforting neutral that conveys anxious
ns expression to smile and expressions. excitement. expression
convey showing care
 disapproval of the and reassuring
action. her.

Controlling Parent: My sister was doing some bank related work which my father told her
to do so. But as she wasn’t much alert while doing that work something went wrong and I
was there only so I immediately started telling her in a serious tone that you would have
done this like I used to do it , this is the correct way to do this thing. In this case, the
controlling parent in me got angry and reprimanded my sister by commenting on her
carelessness and that she should’ve been more careful, even though nothing serious
happened but because of that carelessness the work got delayed. This may be the case
because as a child, when I made mistakes that were not detrimental, I would still get
reprimanded and scolded.

Nurturing parent: My friend wasn’t feeling well that day because of some conflict she
had with her friend she had been complaining about that issue to me and was sharing
everything about the incidents that how much she felt bad because of the other person.
And after hearing everything and even in between I was telling her that “I’m here for
you. It’s going to be alright. I care about how you’re feeling.” And it’s okay let’s find a
solution together. The nurturing parent ego state wanted to make sure she was okay, So I
decided to make her feel good and was showing care attitude towards her also I stayed
with her as much as I could.

Adult: My friend and I had an argument With each other. She thinks that I no longer talk
much to her and gives preference to our another friend. So we were 3 friends who used to
stay together everytime. So we had a big argument on this and it was like a fight only
(verbally). So I realized that we were straying off the main point and now were criticizing
each other. So to balance out the situation and bring us to the main reason that we were
discussing. The adult ego state looked at the current situation and used logic and
reasoning to mediate the conversation. And, I stopped her in between and said “I think
we should pause for a moment and calm down. Let’s first think about this situation again
and continue this conversation when we are ready to talk about this.”

Free child: So we group of 6-7 people visited one place and there we enjoyed a lot we
had fun together and I think I had a best time of my life that day which I felt that time. So
I’m showing excitement and joy, feeling happy that after so long we had this type of get
together. Even after that we were thinking of some another plan for next week which
made me more excited and happy. So we started thinking ideas. I’m showing a
excitement,carefree attitude like I would when I was a child and get the chance to play or
after meeting my childhood friends.
Adapted child: I will again use the same situation of the argument with my friend to
explain the adapted child ego state. In this case, the argument escalated into criticizing
each other and I went into a state of conforming to my friend’s needs because I didn’t
want to upset her and make her angry. So I instead suppressed what I really wanted to say
and said I’m sorry, I know it’s my mistake,please don’t be upset with me. I won’t do it
again by agreeing to whatever she said. Because I don’t want her to just broke this
friendship in anyway. Because we were so close to each other.