Personal Statement

Hello, My name is Rajani Martinez-HowellI'm a young woman who has grown up and
spent her life in the small city of Merced California, a place known for their Agriculture
community and diversity. Growing up, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by many different
races other than my own, which allowed my cultural setting to be very open. I am Mexican, but
do speak any Spanish due to my grandparents making the decision not to teach my mom and
her brothers, so they would have a “Better chance in life”. I am also a member of the Cherokee,
and belong to the “Long Haired'' tribe. I am fortunate enough to have grown up “better” than
most of the kids around me did, and was always taught to be myself, no matter what. Those
tecahinging’s come from parents who were very supportive and open to anything. I am in the
graduating class of 2024, and plan on doing two years of community college for two years, then
transfer to a UC to become a veterinarian and/or english teacher.

Growing up, I have always struggled with finding my identity. This means with friend
groups, certain race/ ethnicities, or even in a social standing.In elementary school, I struggled
with bullying from people I once thought were my friends. Then when I tried seeking out other
groups, such as other mexicans. But not being able to speak Spanish, I was shut out as a
“faker”. I had bright pink dyed hair, and was called “annoying” and “weird” for my loud, bubbly
personality. As I shied away from making friends, it was time to go into middle school. I was so
ready to have a fresh new start and find my group of people. But yet again, I was shut out for
being the “annoying weird girl with dyed hair”, and now with the add ons of my awkward puberty
stage. Being shut Out really took a toll on my personality. I went from this very outspoken
person, to being too shy and scared to ask for a bathroom pass. This caused my self esteem to
plunge, making me change myself entirely. I stopped dying my hair, started dressing “normal”,
and begged my mom for braces, all so I could fit in. Then Covid happened, which didn't help
with my mental health. Again, I didn't have many friends to talk to, so for a whole year I was in
my room with just my own company, and nobody to talk to. That was my whole freshman year of
highschool.

I always thought I had to be a part of something in order to be happy. But when I got to
highschool, my perspective changed. I noticed the different groups, the people who focus on
Social life more than school, and the ones who focus on school more than social life. When
those people I once thought were so cool had responsibilities thrown at them, they crumbled. As
I went through my sophomore year of high school, I realized more and more how my social
standing won't mean anything in the real world, and how I should start focusing more on my
path to life rather than how I look everyday. So I began this new process of thinking. I would try
my best to get a B and up each year. I also started signing up for programs such as CSF, or
even going out of my way to take part in other activities such as FFA. I started taking
responsibility, and not waiting for others to do it first so I can follow.

I started being recognized as a leader, and discovered skills I never thought I would have. I
Gained communication skills, and was soon able to just walk up and talk to people and
communicate my needs, or ask questions that I needed answers too. I became independent,
and was able to hold my own. I realized how in the future, I won't always have someone there to
hold my hand along the way. This change helped me start planning my future early, I started
looking at good college programs my Junior year. All of this also boosted my confidence. I
began having that “don't care about you opinion” attitude. I started finding little things beautiful
about me, which made me and my personality find its glow again. I felt good about myself, and
going into my senior year I was ready to be my best self. This year, I really feel that I am at my
best, and that is helping my confidence with deciding my life path.