Midterm: ​Student Development Theory Autobiography

Angelica Quintero

Higher Education Administration and Leadership, California State University Fresno

HEAL 223

Dr. Ray Ramirez

 Midterm: ​Student Development Theory Autobiography

In the past, I have held back in many of the stories that I have wanted to share. However,

I feel safer sharing my part of my story. In class, I usually share surface-level stories, but I want

to share the deeper challenges that I have overcome and the achievements that have built me.

Many experiences, both bad and good situations, have brought me to where I am today. I am

satisfied with where I am right now, but there is plenty of space for growth.

Throughout this paper, I will highlight some key events that have placed me where I am.

I will use theories, such as psychosocial development theories, as a framework for my thoughts.

Some of these theories have an expected timeline for their theory; however, I will place myself in

the stage that I feel that best suits my situation.

Exploring Identity

In my previous reflection paper, I reflected on a lot of identities. I wrote about how my

identity may be affirmed in some areas and disregarded in other areas. The previous conversation

about my identity is valid, but it was very surface level. My struggle with identity has affected

my classwork and discussions. I have been scared to share due to the fear of judgment. However,

I do hope and believe that my colleagues and professors believe in me as I believe in them. My

identity is who I am, but it is still something that I am learning.

Reflecting on Identity Growth

This semester, I had an awakening about my identity. Self-identity is not easy. How do

we identify ourselves? When some people are asked, “what is your identity?” they may have an

immediate answer and even say it with pride. However, I hesitate when people ask me that

question. I shared in class that when I identify as Latina, it comes with some expectations that I

do not meet. For example, I am a Latina but I do not speak Spanish and I am not a Catholic. This
comes as a huge shock to some people. I noticed that this started happening when I was in high

school, but it still happens today.

My parents worked out of town for about 3 quarters of the year and my sisters raised me

for the majority of my childhood. They were growing up as they raised me; their priority was not

teaching me Spanish. I do not want to have to explain that to everyone who may be disappointed

in me for not speaking Spanish. Also, I am not Catholic and neither of my parents is Catholic. In

high school, I was constantly asked why I did not have a quinceañera. I would think it would be

a simple conversation of me saying “I am not Catholic” and I would get questioned as to why. As

a child, I was confused as to why people were questioning me, and I sometimes wondered “why

am I not Catholic”. It hurts for people to question my own identity. I may not be the usual Latina,

but I am still proud of that identity.

Major Events and Moments of Influence

A major event that affected the entire world is the COVID-19 pandemic. I remember

where I was when I heard that the campus was closed for only two weeks. My graduation was

still happening at that moment but I was nervous. I knew the pandemic was “real” when I read

Disneyland was closing. A few days after, the campus was closed for the rest of the academic

year, and graduation was canceled. I remember being so upset and defeated; I worked so hard for

my bachelor's degree and I felt that it was all taken away from so many of us in a matter of only

a few days. Those issues feel so small compared to now. I do not mean to undermine my past

experiences, but I had a lot of good experiences and tough challenges coming ahead.

The COVID-19 pandemic has opened my eyes and seen how differently the world

operates. In the education field, classes moved online and managed to be online for the next year.

This became very beneficial for students and made school and life more manageable. Also, as
school came back in person, online and hybrid classes and workshops were still offered.

Although there are still some struggles with classes and workshops in general; however, it will

change the education system for life.

Another event that happened in my life that shifted my entire life was my process of

getting into the HEAL program. When I first applied to HEAL, I did not get into the program.

My family members, friends, and mentors, and I were so positive that I would get into the

program. I contacted Dr. Yi, and I was told my application was missing a letter of

recommendation and was incomplete. This was a mistake on my part; however, I should have

been told that my application was incomplete. I would have had the opportunity to have a letter

of recommendation turned in by the extended deadline. Nevertheless, I feel that going through

the appeal process and getting accepted into the program eventually was the best thing that could

have happened to me. My delayed undergraduate commencement was later that week and my life

was full of happiness. I also met my partner that same week. I always felt like things, even if

they are negative, happen for a reason; this month of events only confirmed this thought.

Challenges

Family Issues

A challenge that affects me is the relationship between myself and my family members.

As I mentioned before, my parents did not raise me for the majority of my life. This affected me

in several ways.

My parents worked and continue to work at county fairs around California which take

place for about nine months out of the year, and my sisters raised me while they were gone.

During the summer until my junior year of college, I would have to work at the fairs. This took

up the majority of my summer and for the other half, I would be preparing for the upcoming
school year. Working at the fairs took time away from me being home, summer school, learning

new sports, and summer fun. I could not build strong friendships since I was not home during the

summer. Also, my sisters were growing up as they raised me so they did not know how to parent

me as well. Another thing that bothered me is that I never really had a sisterly relationship with

my sisters. I could not and still cannot ask my sisters' certain questions without feeling

uncomfortable. I want to be able to talk to my sisters like they are my sisters and not my parents.

I unfortunately never had that opportunity to have that relationship with my parents.

I remember taking a career aptitude test in high school that led me to a counselor, but it

was pushed back since I was encouraged to be a business major. I pushed it back in my mind and

was set on what my parents encouraged me to do, or rather what they wanted me to do.

My parents did not push me to go to college. However, when it came to applying for

college, I was expected to go to Fresno State and get my degree in business. My parents wanted

me to go to Fresno State so I could stay close to home. My parents also wanted to get my degree

in business so I could take over the business. I thought I wanted that, too; however, my mind

changed as I stepped on campus for orientation. I remembered my sociology class in high school

and signed up for sociology courses instead of the required business courses. I officially changed

my major to sociology and kind to like-minded people in my classes and set the path to

becoming a counselor. I chose that path because I wanted help to be the voice that I did not have

when I was younger.

I believe that rejecting my parents’ values to find my values falls into James Marcia’s ego

identity status, specifically moratorium. The moratorium is where the crisis or exploration comes

without commitment (Patton, 2016). However, once I graduate with my master's degree and

obtain a career in student affairs, I will be at identity achievement.

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Opportunities

Opportunities are moments of privilege; not everyone has this privilege. I hope to be able

to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way. One opportunity that has truly

changed my life and has truly put me to where I am now is getting involved on campus.

Wolf-Wendel states that opportunities for student involvement and leadership led to a strong

development of leadership skills, kept them active at their institutions, and generally led to their

success (2000). I am really lucky that I had the opportunity to get involved on campus. As I

reflect on my experiences, I realized that not everyone has these opportunities. Some students do

not have time to get involved; they may have other commitments such as being a caregiver.

Other students may be shy and it is too much out of their comfort zone.

Contributing Figures

My family has been a vast support system throughout my life; I would not be the person I

am today without them. Although my parents challenge me and how I choose to live my life,

they still support me in different ways. My sisters are my most significant support system. Not

only did they help raise me, but they also continued to help me through school. My sisters were

the ones who helped me apply for college and all the other paperwork that goes with college

such as financial aid. My sister Rima was the first person I contacted when I got into the HEAL

program, which was a huge deal for us because I had to appeal my admission as well. My other

sister Monica introduced me to some mentors as well and she was the one who encouraged me to

get involved on campus. I am forever grateful for my family and all they have done for me.

Rima and Monica are the most contributing figures and role models I could have at this

time in my life. They also did the program and graduated in 2016, which was the same year I
graduated high school. I also am having thoughts on whether to do a thesis on my sisters and I.

Dr. Gonzalez also affirmed me and encouraged me as well as a few other classmates to conduct

autoethnography as our methodology.

Role models are essential to students' continuous growth within an institution

(Wolf-Wendel, 2000). My mentors are some of the greatest people I have met. I believe that I

met these people when I truly needed them the most. Sophie was my first mentor in Student

Involvement at Fresno State. She was the coordinator who oversaw the program I was a part of.

She was not only my “boss” but she was someone I was able to come to for advice. She became

an inspiration to me as a leader that also has a passion for social justice. I also met Jerry, another

coordinator within the office. I was able to go to him for advice and open up about the hardships

that I have gone through.

Writing about the contributing figures in my life was harder than I thought it would be

because words can truly not describe how I feel about them. I believe that all these people are the

reason for my success thus far in my life journey.

Educational Experiences

I grew up in the Sanger Unified district which is about a 20 to 30 minute drive from

Fresno State. I went to a predominantly white school from Kindergarten to 8th grade. This is

where I found my name was Angelica rather than Angélica. I found the importance of

pronunciation of names important when I realized that my name was sometimes all I felt that I

had.

I also lived in a rural area in Sanger. It is still my current home and I truly do love it, but

sometimes I wish I lived in the city or a normal neighborhood. With living in a rural area and

having my parents not being able to pick me up, I had to take the bus home. This limited me to
not getting involved in any extracurricular activities until high school. In high school, I joined

band and I got involved, made friends, and gained some leadership skills.

My undergraduate degree in Sociology has supported me and has brought me to where I

am today. Sociology was a good major for me because I was able to learn about how people

work together. Some people prefer to have a psychological background; however, it sometimes

forgets the other aspects of belonging such as social justice, equity, and other social factors.

Conclusion and Future

This paper opened my eyes to learning more about myself. I did not realize the

relationships I had in my life were such a heavy influence on where I am today. Although some

of these relationships broke apart me, they also built a part of me that I am proud of. Not only in

this paper, but throughout this semester, I have reflected and learned a lot about myself. I believe

that it is important to learn about oneself to help guide students to help find themselves. I am

excited to continue my journey through HEAL and my lifelong journey of learning.

 References

Patton, Lori D. Student Development in College: Theory, Research, and Practice. Jossey-Bass,

2016.

Wolf-Wendel, L. E. (2000). Women-friendly campuses: What five institutions are doing right.

The Review of Higher Education, 23(3), 319-345.