I had the dream..

I was with my dad in the trailers we drove through snow mountains and spring
gardens and rainy ways.. we got to the place I was born?I had never been so excited? I was young I
had my hair down, wearing my dark blue puffed jacket with sprinkles on it. I looked down from the
big window, I saw snow and a man? I turn around to see my mother was here? She wants to take me.
No I refused to leave the place I was only happy in. I cried and cried, I looked at my dad? He was
silent? Frozen? Look back at my mom she was gone. Look back at my dad. He was gone. I look
down from the building and so was the man. I am in silence.. I was so happy just now, what
happened why did my mother had to ruin it. Why did my father leave and not care, he broke me and
hurt me. Did they ever care? I found a girl that was sad and confused, so drained and empty, she
feels nothing, she didn’t care anymore as her heart was cold and dried out. Her parents being gone
didn’t matter anymore as she couldn’t do anything about it. She had cried so much all her tears
were dried up. She felt nothing though she was desperate to feel something. All she can do is feel
the sorrow in her chest, she asked god repeatedly, “why.. me?” Why her? she knew god gives his
hardest battles to his strongest soldiers but she just couldn’t.. she wasn’t strong.. so she prayed
and cried everyday asking Allah to take her away with a broken heart she drowned herself with tears
whenever talking to god on the praying mat. She was desperate calling out Allahs name “ YA ALLAH
TAKE ME AWAY YA ALLAH KILL ME ALREADY” She never felt like she belonged anywhere. Though
her parents were still out there mentally, they weren’t her parents physically. Nothing makes her
happy anymore, not even the guy she was so desperate for and destroyed herself and cut herself
repeatedly 2 layers deep. Not even that made her feel anything. There’s no way of her getting better
in the same place Nadeen had died. was Nadeen ever coming back? Her feelings were buried as she
doesn’t feel anything but sorrow. She just wants to feel something.