HELENA
Lo(so), she is one of this confederacy!
Now I perceive they have conjoined all three To
Fashion (create) this false sport in spite of me.
Injurious (hurtful) Hermia, most ungrateful maid,
Have you conspired, have you with these contrived
To bait (harass) me with this foul derision ?
Is all the counsel that we two have shared,
The sisters’ vows, the hours that we have spent,
When we have chid the hasty-footed time
For parting us - O, is it all forgot?
All school-days’ friendship, childhood innocence?
We, Hermia, like two artificial gods,
Have with our needles created both one flower,
Both on one sampler, sitting on one cushion, 205
Both warbling of one song, both in one key,
As if our hands, our sides, voices and minds
Had been incorporate. So we grew together
Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,
But yet an union in partition,
Two lovely berries moulded on one stem;
So, with two seeming bodies, but one heart,
Two of the first, like coats in heraldry,
Due but to one and crowned with one crest.
And will you rent our ancient love asunder,
To join with men in scorning your poor friend?
It is not friendly, ‘tis not maidenly. Our
sex, as well as I, may chide you for it,
Though I alone do feel the injury.
HERMIA
I am amazed at your passionate words.
I scorn you not; it seems that you scorn me.
HELENA
Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn, To
follow me and praise my eyes and face?
And made your other love, Demetrius,
Who even but now did spurn me with his foot,
To call me goddess, nymph, divine and rare,
Precious, celestial? Wherefore speaks he this
To her he hates? And wherefore doth Lysander
Deny your love, so rich within his soul,
And tender me, forsooth, affection, 230
But by your setting on, by your consent?
What though I be not so in grace as you,
So hung upon with love, so fortunate, But
miserable most, to love unloved:
This you should pity rather than despise.
HERMIA
HELENA
Oh, she must be in on it.
Now I understand — all three of them have joined
together to play this joke to spite me. Harmful,
ungrateful Hermia, have you conspired with these
two to ridicule me? Have you forgotten all our
friendly intimacy — the sisterly vows we’ve made,
the hours we’ve spent together, refusing to be
parted? Have you forgotten our friendship from our
innocent school days?
Like two artistic gods doing needlepoint, we would
stitch one flower with two needles, sitting on the
same cushion, singing one song in the same key, as
if our hands, sides, voices, and minds were all part
of one body. We grew together like a double
cherry: we may have appeared separate, but we
were one: two lovely cherries, both on one
stem. We have two bodies and one heart, as if we
were two separate coats of arms that share the same
color and crest. And you want to rip our friendship
apart, just to join with two men who are mocking
your poor friend? It’s unkind and unbefitting a
young woman. All women, including me, would
scold you for it, even if I’m the only one you’re
harming.
Metaphor “double cherry”  Helena
HERMIA
Your strong words confuse me. I’m not ridiculing
you. It seems like you’re ridiculing me.
HELENA
Haven’t you told Lysander to follow me and praise
my looks just to make fun of me? Haven’t you told
Demetrius — who just now kicked me — to call
me goddess, nymph, divine, and rare, precious,
heavenly? Why is he saying these things to a
woman he hates? And why does Lysander — who
loves you so much — say that he doesn’t, and give
me affection instead, if you haven’t told him to do
it? You’re just teasing me because I’m not as lucky
as you to have so much love. I’m miserable, and
my love is unrequited. You should have pity for me
— not hate me.
HERMIA
I don’t understand what you mean.
HELENA
Yes you do. Go right ahead and look sympathetic
I understand not what you mean by this.
HELENA
Ay, do! Persever, counterfeit sad looks, Make
mouths upon me when I turn my back, Wink
each at other, hold the sweet jest up.
This sport, well carried, shall be chronicled. 240
If you have any pity, grace, or manners, You
would not make me such an argument.
But fare ye well. ‘Tis partly my own fault, Which
death or absence soon shall remedy.
LYSANDER
Stay, gentle Helena: hear my excuse:
My love, my life, my soul, fair Helena!
HELENA
O, excellent!
HERMIA
[To Lysander] Sweet, do not scorn her so.
DEMETRIUS
If she cannot entreat, I can compel.
LYSANDER
Thou canst compel no more than she entreat;
Thy threats have no more strength than her weak
prayers. Helen, I love thee, by my life, I do:
I swear by that which I will lose for thee
To prove him false that says I love thee not.
DEMETRIUS
I say I love thee more than he can do.
LYSANDER
If thou say so, withdraw, and prove it too.
DEMETRIUS
Quick, come.
HERMIA
Lysander, whereto tends all this?
LYSANDER
Away, you Ethiope!
DEMETRIUS
No, no, sir, Seem to break loose, take on as you
would follow, But yet come not. You are a tame man,
go.
LYSANDER
Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! Vile thing, let loose, Or
I will shake thee from me like a serpent!
HERMIA
Why are you grown so rude? What change is this,
to my face, and then mock me behind my back. Go
ahead and wink at each other, and keep up the joke.
Your prank is so well executed, someone should
write it down. If you had any decency, grace, or
manners, you wouldn’t do this to me. But bye. It’s
partially my fault, but that will be fixed soon
enough when I leave or die.
LYSANDER
Wait, Helena. Let me explain myself, my love, my
life, my soul, beautiful Helena.
HELENA
Oh, this should be good.
HERMIA
Sweetheart, don’t insult her like this.
DEMETRIUS
If you won’t listen to Hermia’s pleas, then I’ll
make you leave.
LYSANDER
You can’t make me leave any more than Helena
can beg me to stay. Your threats are weaker than
her pleas. Helen, I love you. I swear I do. I swear
on my life, which I would gladly give up for you —
Demetrius is wrong when he says I don’t love you.
DEMETRIUS
[To Helena] I love you more than he does.
LYSANDER
Then draw your sword and prove it.
DEMETRIUS
Come on.
HERMIA
Lysander, what’s your plan here?
LYSANDER
Get away from me, you ugly woman.
DEMETRIUS
No, no, sir, give up. You’ll look like you’re trying
to get away from Hermia so you can fight me,
you’ll pretend to follow me, but you won’t really.
You’re just weak — give up.
LYSANDER
Get off me, you cat, you burr. Let go of me, or I’ll
shake you off like a snake.
HERMIA
Why are you being so rude? What has changed, my
love?
LYSANDER
Your love? Go away, ugly woman, go away. Get
out, you poison. Leave.
HERMIA
You’re not joking?
Sweet love?
LYSANDER
Thy love! - out, tawny Tartar(orange-brownish), out;
Out, loathed medicine! O hated potion, hence!
HERMIA
Do you not jest?
HELENA
Yes, sooth, and so do you.
LYSANDER
Demetrius, I will keep my word with thee.
DEMETRIUS
I would I had your bond, for I perceive
A weak bond holds you. I’ll not trust your word.
LYSANDER
What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her dead?
Although I hate her, I’ll not harm her so
HERMIA
What? Can you do me greater harm than hate?
Hate me? Wherefore? O me! what news, my love!
Am not I Hermia? Are not you Lysander?
I am as fair now as I was erewhile.
Since night you loved me; yet since night you left me.
Why, then you left me - O, the gods forbid! - In
earnest, shall I say?
LYSANDER
Ay, by my life; And never did desire to see thee more.
Therefore be out of hope, of question, of doubt; Be
certain, nothing truer – ‘tis no jest
That I do hate thee and love Helena.
HERMIA
[To Helena] O me, you juggler, you canker-
blossom,You thief of love! What, have you come by
night And stol’n my love’s heart from him?
HELENA
Fine, I’faith!Have you no modesty, no maiden shame,
No touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear
Impatient answers from my gentle tongue? Fie, fie,
you counterfeit, you puppet, you!
HERMIA
‘Puppet’? Why so? - Ay, that way goes the game.
Now I perceive that she hath made compare Between
our statures; she hath urged her height, And with her
personage, her tall personage, Her height, forsooth,
she hath prevailed with him. And are you grown so
high in his esteem Because I am so dwarfish and so
HELENA
Yes, truly they are — and you’re joking too.
LYSANDER
Demetrius, I’ll keep promise to you — let’s fight.
DEMETRIUS
I wish we had signed a contract, because I can tell
you don’t keep your word. I don’t trust your
promise.
LYSANDER
What, do you want me to hurt her? Hit her? Kill
her? I may hate her, but I won’t physically harm
her
HERMIA
There’s no greater harm you can do to me than hate
me. Hate me? Why would you hate me? What’s
going on, my love? Aren’t I Hermia? Aren’t you
Lysander? I’m still just as beautiful as I ever was.
You loved me last night, but you left me last night
too. Am I supposed to believe you left me —
heaven forbid — for real?
LYSANDER
Yes, I swear on my life, I left you and never wanted
to see you again. So give up — don’t have any
hopes, questions, or doubts. You can be certain that
it’s no joke: I hate you and love Helena.
HERMIA
You clown! You destroyer, you thief of love! Did
you steal my love’s heart from him in the dark of
night?
HELENA
Oh, very nice. Don’t you have any modesty or
lady-like shame? Not even a hint of
embarrassment? Is your plan to make me so mad
that I’ll scream my answers at you? Damn you!
You’re a phony and a puppet.
HERMIA
How am I a puppet? Oh, I see what’s happening
here. Now I understand that Helena is comparing
our sizes. She’s pointing out how tall she is, and
now she has won Lysander over with her height.
And have you, Helena, grown so high in his
opinion simply because I’m so short in
comparison? How short am I, you beanpole? Tell
me — how short am I? I’m not so short that I can’t
scratch your eyes out.
HELENA
You may mock me, gentlemen, but please don’t let
her hurt me. I’ve never been mean. I don’t have a
talent for insulting others. I’m too meek. Don’t let
low? How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak!
How low am I? I am not yet so low
But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes.
HELENA
I pray you, though you mock me, gentlemen,
Let her not hurt me. I was never curst; I have no gift
at all in shrewishness. I am a right maid for my
cowardice; Let her not strike me. You perhaps may
think, Because she is something lower than myself,
That I can match her.
HERMIA
Lower! Hark, again!
HELENA
Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me.
I evermore did love you, Hermia, Did ever keep your
counsels, never wronged you, Save that, in love unto
Demetrius I told him of your stealth unto this wood.
He followed you; for love I followed him, But he hath
chid me hence and threatened me To strike me,
spurn me, nay, to kill me too. And now, so you will let
me quiet go, To Athens will I bear my folly back, And
follow you no further. Let me go; You see how simple
and how fond I am.
HERMIA
Why, get you gone! Who is’t that hinders you?
HELENA
A foolish heart, that I leave here behind.
HERMIA
What, with Lysander?
HELENA
With Demetrius.
LYSANDER
Be not afraid; she shall not harm thee, Helena.
DEMETRIUS
No, sir. She shall not, though you take her part.
HELENA
O, when she’s angry, she is keen and shrewd;
She was a vixen when she went to school,
And though she be but little, she is fierce.
HERMIA
Little again? Nothing but low and little? Why will you
suffer her to flout me thus? Let me come to her.
LYSANDER
Get you gone, you dwarf You minimus of hindering
knot-grass made. You bead, you acorn.
her hit me. Just because she’s shorter than me
doesn’t mean I can take her in a fight.
HERMIA
Shorter? Call me short one more time...
HELENA
Hermia, my dear, don’t be so mean to me. I have
always loved you, Hermia. I have always been your
confidante and never did you wrong… Except for
the fact that because I loved Demetrius, I told him
that you had sneaked into this forest with Lysander.
Demetrius followed you, and because I love him, I
followed him. But he’s done nothing but scold me
and threaten to hit and even kill me. Now please
just let me quietly slink back to Athens — I won’t
follow you anymore. Let me go. See how naively in
love I’ve been?
HERMIA
So leave. Who’s stopping you?
HELENA
My foolish heart — which I’m leaving behind.
HERMIA
Are you leaving it behind with Lysander?
HELENA
No, with Demetrius.
LYSANDER
Don’t be afraid. She won’t hurt you, Helena.
DEMETRIUS
No, Lysander, she won’t, even if you help Helena
HELENA
When she’s mad, she’s smart and cunning. She was
a real piece of work when we were in school, and
though she’s small, she’s fierce.
HERMIA
Is she calling me small again? Nothing but small
and short? Why are you letting her insult me? Let
me at her.
LYSANDER
Leave, you dwarf, you insignificant weed, you
bead, you acorn.
DEMETRIUS
You’re trying too hard on behalf of a woman who
wants nothing to do with you. Leave Hermia alone.
Don’t talk about Helena, and don’t fight on her
behalf. You’ll pay for it if you keep being so mean
to Hermia.
LYSANDER
Hermia has let go of me. Lysander, follow me if
you dare, and we’ll see who has more of a right to
Helen
DEMETRIUS
You are too officious In her behalf that scorns your
services. Let her alone: speak not of Helena, Take not
her part; for, if thou dost intend Never so little show
of love to her, Thou shalt aby it.
LYSANDER
Now she holds me not - Now follow, if thou dur’st, to
try whose right, Of thine or mine, is most in Helena.
DEMETRIUS
Follow? Nay, I’ll go with thee, cheek by jowl. Exeunt
LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS
HERMIA
You, mistress, all this coil is ‘long of you. Nay, go not
back.
HELENA
I will not trust you, I, Nor longer stay in your curst
company. Your hands than mine are quicker for a
fray; My legs are longer, though, to run away! [ Exit]
HERMIA
I am amazed, and know not what to say. Exit. Oberon
and Puck come forward.
OBERON
This is thy negligence. Still thou mistak’st, Or else
committ’st thy knaveries wilfully.
BOTTOM
When my cue comes, call me, and I will answer: my
next is’ Most fair Pyramus’ Heigh ho! Peter Quince!
Flute the bellows
-mender? Snout, the tinker? Starveling? God’s my
life! Stolen hence and left me asleep! I have had a
most rare vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of
man to say what dream it was. Man is but an ass if he
go about to expound this dream. Methought I was -
there is no man can tell what. Methought I was - and
methought I had – but man is but a patched fool if he
will offer to say what methought I had. The eye of
man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen,
Man’s hand is not able to taste, his tongue to
conceive, nor his heart to report what my dream was!
I will get Peter Quince to write a
ballad of this dream; it shall be called ‘Bottom’s
Dream’, because it hath no bottom; and I will sing it
in the latter end of a play, before the Duke.
Peradventure, to make it the more gracious, I shall
sing it at her death. Exit.
Enter [Bottom as] Pyramus, [Flute as] Thisbe, [Snout as] Wall,
DEMETRIUS
Follow? No, I’ll go beside you, neck and neck.
HERMIA
Helena, this mess is all your fault. No, stay right
there.
HELENA
I don’t trust you anymore, and I won’t stay here
just so I can be treated badly by you. You may be
fast in a fight, but my legs are longer, so I can run
away.
HERMIA
I’m shocked. I don’t know what to say.
OBERON
This is your fault. You made another mistake, or
else you’re making mischief on purpose.
BOTTOM
Call me when it’s my cue, and I will respond. My
next cue is, “most fair Pyramus.” Hello? Peter
Quince? Flute the bellows-mender? Snout the
tinker? Starveling? My goodness. Have they
sneaked away and left me here sleeping? I’ve had
the strangest dream. It was so strange it would be
impossible for me to say anything about it. I
thought I was — well no one could tell what I was.
I thought I was, and I thought I had — but I’d have
to be a fool to try to say what I had. No one could
ever hear, see, taste, feel, or tell what happened in
my dream. I’ll ask Peter Quince to write it up as a
song, and I’ll call it “Bottom’s Dream” because it’s
so deep that it has no bottom. And when we
perform our play for the Duke, I’ll sing it at
intermission. Or better yet, I’ll sing it when the
heroine, Thisbe, dies.
Enter [Bottom as] Pyramus, [Flute as] Thisbe, [Snout as]
[Starveling as] Moonshine, and [Snug as] Lion
QUINCE ( as Prologue)
Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show,
But wonder on, till truth make all things plain.
This man is Pyramus, if you would know; This
beauteous lady Thisby is, certain. This man with lime
and rough-cast doth present
Wall, that vile Wall which did these lovers sunder;
And through Wall’s chink, poor souls, they are
content To whisper - at the which let no man wonder.
This man, with lanthorn, dog, and bush of thorn,
Presenteth Moonshine; for, if you will know, By
moonshine did these lovers think no scorn To meet at
Ninus’ tomb, there, there to woo. This grisly beast,
which Lion hight by name, The trusty Thisby, coming
first by night, Did scare away, or rather did affright;
And, as she fled, her mantle she did fall, Which Lion
vile with bloody mouth did stain.
Anon comes Pyramus, sweet youth and tall, And finds
his trusty Thisby’s mantle slain:Whereat with blade,
with bloody, blameful blade, He bravely broach’d is
boiling bloody breast; And Thisby, tarrying in
mulberry shade, His dagger drew, and died. For all
the rest, Let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and lovers twain
At large discourse, while here they do remain.
Exeunt Quince, Bottom, Flute, Snug, and Starveling
THESEUS
I wonder if the lion be to speak?
DEMETRIUS
No wonder, my lord; one lion may, when many asses
do.
SNOUT ( as Wall)
In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall;
And such a wall as I would have you think, That had
in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the
lovers, Pyramus and Thisbe, Did whisper often, very
secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone
doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so.
And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through
which the fearful lovers are towhisper.
THESEUS
Would you desire lime and hair to speak better?
DEMETRIUS
It is the wittiest partition that ever I heard discourse,
my Lord.
Enter [Bottom as] Pyramus
Wall, [Starveling as] Moonshine, and [Snug as] Lion
QUINCE ( as Prologue)
Ladies and gentlemen, this show contains wonders,
but soon enough you’ll know the truth. If you’re
curious, this man is Pyramus, and this beautiful
woman is most definitely Thisbe. This man, with
lime and plaster represents the wall, that hateful
wall that separated the lovers. And through a hole
in this wall, poor Pyramus and Thisbe must whisper
to each other, so don’t be surprised by that. This
man, who carries a lantern, dog, and a thorny bush,
represents moonshine. If you’d like to know, the
lovers meet to woo each other by moonlight at
Ninus’ tomb. When Thisbe arrives, she is scared
away by a hairy beast named “Lion,” and as she
flees, she drops her cloak, which the lion picks up
with his mouth, and, in doing so, stains it with
blood.
Soon enough, the tall and sweet youth named
Pyramus arrives and finds Thisbe’s cloak stained
with blood. So he picks up his blade and stabs
himself in the chest. Thisbe, who had been waiting
in a mulberry patch, finds him dead and kills
herself with Pyramus’ dagger. To know the rest,
listen to Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and the two lovers
perform for you, while they’re here.
THESEUS
I wonder if the Lion is going to talk.
DEMETRIUS
Sir, if all these asses are speaking, it’s no wonder
that a lion would.
SNOUT ( as Wall)
In this same play, it will happen that I, Snout,
represent a wall, and in this wall please imagine a
cranny, hole, or chink through which the lovers
Pyramus and Thisbe whisper secretly to each other.
This loam, this plaster, and this stone show that I
am that wall. This is the truth. And this is the hole,
the right side and the left side, through which the
scared lovers will whisper.
THESEUS
Who could ask for a better speech from stone and
plaster?
DEMETRIUS
It’s the smartest wall I’ve ever heard speak, my
lord.
THESEUS
Pyramus is approaching the wall. Quiet.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
THESEUS
Pyramus draws near the wall; silence!
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
O grim-look’d night, O night with hue so black, O
night which ever art when day is not! O night, O
night, alack, alack, alack, I fear my Thisbe’s promise is
forgot! And thou, O wall, O sweet, O lovely wall, That
stand’st between her father’s ground and mine, Thou
wall, O wall, O sweet and lovely wall, Show me thy
chink, to blink through with mine eyne! [Wall holds
up his fingers.] Thanks, courteous wall; Jove shield
thee well for this! But what see I? No Thisbe do I see.
O wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss, Cursed
be thy stones for thus deceiving me!
THESEUS
The wall, methinks, being sensible, should curse
again.
BOTTOM (as Pyramus)
No, in truth, sir, he should not. ‘Deceiving me’ is
Thisbe’s cue. She is to enter now, and I am to spy her
through the wall. You shall see it will fall pat as I told
you. Yonder she comes.
Enter [Flute as] Thisbe.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
O wall, full often hast thou heard my moans, For
parting my fair Pyramus and me.
My cherry lips have often kissed thy stones, Thy
stones with lime and hair knit up in thee.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
I see a voice; now will I to the chink, To spy and I can
hear my Thisbe’s face. Thisbe!
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
My love! Thou art my love, I think?
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Think what thou wilt, I am thy lover’s grace, And like
Limander am I trusty still.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
And I like Helen, till the Fates me kill.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Not Shafalus to Procrus was so true.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
As Shafalus to Procrus, I to you.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
O kiss me through the hole of this vile wall!
O dark night, O night with such black colors, O
night that always is when day is not, O night, O
night, alack, alack, alack, I am afraid my Thisbe
has forgotten her promise. And you, O wall, O
sweet, lovely wall that stands between her father’s
house and my father’s house, you, wall, O wall, O
sweet, lovely wall, show me your hole, so that I can
peer through it with my eye. Thank you kindly,
wall. God protect you for helping me. But what do
I see? I don’t see Thisbe. Oh evil wall, through
whom I see no happiness, I curse your stones for
misleading me in this way.
THESEUS
I think since the wall can speak, it should curse
back at Pyramus.
BOTTOM (as Pyramus)
No sir, he truly should not. “Misleading me” is
Thisbe’s cue to come onstage. She is supposed to
enter now, and I am supposed to see her through
the wall. You’ll see, it will happen in just a
moment, just as I said. Here she comes
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
Oh wall, you have so often heard me moan at you
for separating me and beautiful Pyramus. My lips
have often kissed your stones, which are stuck
together with mortar.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
I see a voice. I’ll go to the hole in the wall to see if
I can hear my Thisbe’s face. Thisbe?
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
My love — you are my love, I think.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Think whatever you want — it won’t change the
fact that I am your love, as faithful as Lemander.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
And I will be as faithful to you as Helen, until the day
I’m fated to die.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Not even Shafalus was as faithful to Procrus.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
I will be as faithful to you as Shafalus was to
Procrus.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Kiss me through the hole in this hateful wall.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
I can’t reach your lips — I’m just kissing the hole
in the wall.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Will you meet me right away at Ninny’s tomb?
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
I kiss the wall’s hole, not your lips at all.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Wilt thou at Ninny’s tomb meet me straightway?
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
Tide life, tide death, I come without delay.
SNOUT ( as Wall)
Thus have I, Wall, my part discharged so; And, being
done, thus Wall away doth go. Exit
THESEUS
Now is the mural down between the two neighbours.
DEMETRIUS
No remedy, my lord, when walls are so wilful to hear
without warning.
HIPPOLYTA
This is the silliest stuff that ever I heard.
THESEUS
The best in this kind are but shadows; and the worst
are no worse, if imagination amend them.
HIPPOLYTA
It must be your imagination then, and not theirs.
THESEUS
If we imagine no worse of them than they of
themselves, they may pass for excellent men. Here
come two noble beasts in, a man and a lion.
Enter Lion and Moonshine
SNUG (as Lion)
You ladies, you whose gentle hearts do fear
The smallest monstrous mouse that creeps on floor,
May now perchance both quake and tremble here,
When lion rough in wildest rage doth roar. Then
know that I as Snug the joiner am A lion fell, nor else
no lion’s dam; For if I should as lion come in strife
Into This place, ‘twere pity on my life.
THESEUS
A very gentle beast, of a good conscience.
DEMETRIUS
The very best at a beast, my lord, that e’er I saw.
LYSANDER
This lion is a very fox for his valour.
THESEUS
True; and a goose for his discretion.
DEMETRIUS
Not so, my lord; for his valour cannot carry his
discretion; and the fox carries the goose.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
Come hell or high water, I’ll go there right away.
SNOUT ( as Wall)
And so I have performed my part. And since I’m
done, I’ll go away now.
THESEUS
Well now that they’ve gone away, the wall that
separated the neighbors has fallen
DEMETRIUS
My lord, that’s what happens when walls eavesdrop
HIPPOLYTA
This is the most ridiculous play I’ve ever seen
THESEUS
Even the best plays are just pale versions of reality.
And the worst plays just require a little imagination to
make them better.`
HIPPOLYTA
Your imagination, maybe, is what makes it tolerable
— not theirs
THESEUS
If we choose to imagine these men as they imagine
themselves to be, then we’ll see them as talented
actors. Here come two noble beasts: a man and a lion
SNUG (as Lion)
Ladies, you who fear the tiniest mice creeping on
the floor, might shiver and shake when this lion
roars in wild anger. But know that I am really
Snug, the joiner, and I’m not really an angry lion,
or even a lion’s mother. If I really were a lion, and
came in here, I’d surely lose my life
THESEUS
What a gentle beast. He has a good conscience
DEMETRIUS
This actor is the best lion I’ve ever seen on stage
LYSANDER
He’s as courageous as a fox.
THESEUS
And as smart as a goose.
DEMETRIUS
No, my lord. He’s not courageous enough to be smart
THESEUS
I think it’s the other way around — he’s not smart
enough to be courageous. But let’s leave that to
him. Let’s listen to the moon
STAVRELING ( as Moonshine)
This lantern represents the crescent moon.
DEMETRIUS
He should have worn the horns on his head like a
THESEUS cuckold
His discretion, I am sure, cannot carry his valour; for THESEUS
the goose carries not the fox. It is well: leave it to his He’s not a crescent moon — his horns are hidden
discretion, and let us listen to the moon. inside the circle of the full moon’s face.
STAVRELING ( as Moonshine) STARVELING ( as Moonshine)
This lanthorn doth the horned moon present - This lantern represents the crescent moon. I represent
the man in the moon
DEMETRIUS
He should have worn the horns on his head. THESEUS
This is the biggest mistake of all. If he is to play the
“man in the moon,” the actor should be inside the
THESEUS lantern
He is no crescent, and his horns are invisible within
DEMETRIUS
the circumference.
He’s scared of the candle — you can see it’s very hot
STARVELING ( as Moonshine)
This lanthorn doth the horned moon present;
HIPPOLYTA
Myself the man I’the moon do seem to be -
I’m tired of this moon. I wish he would wane
THESEUS offstage.
This is the greatest error of all the rest; the man
should be put into the lanthorn. How is it else the
THESEUS
man I’th’moon?
It seems like he’s about done, but to be kind, we
DEMETRIUS should patiently wait for him to finish
He dares not come there for the candle; for, you see
LYSANDER
it is already in snuff.
Go ahead, Moon
HIPPOLYTA
I am aweary of this moon. Would he would change!
THESEUS STAREVLING ( as Moonshine)
It appears, by his small light of discretion, that he is in
All I’m supposed to tell you is that the lantern is the
the wane; but yet, in courtesy, in all reason, we must moon, I’m the man in the moon, this thorn bush is my
stay the time. thorn bush, and this dog is my dog
LYSANDER DEMETRIUS
Proceed, Moon. But shouldn’t all these things be in the lantern, if
they’re all in the moon? Be quiet, here comes Thisbe.
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
STAREVLING ( as Moonshine) This is Ninny’s tomb. Where is my love
All that I have to say, is, to tell you that the lanthorn SNUG ( as Lion)
is the moon, I the man i’th’moon, this thorn bush my Roar (lion roars, thisbe drops her mantle and runs off)
thorn bush, and this dog my dog. DEMETRIUS
DEMETRIUS Good job roaring, Lion
Why, all these should be in the lanthorn, for all these THESEUS
are in the moon. But, silence: here comes Thisbe. Good job running away, Thisbe
FLUTE ( as Thisbe) HIPPOLYTA
This is old Ninny’s tomb. Where is my love? Good job shining, Moon. Really, the moon is shining
SNUG ( as Lion) very well.
O! Lion roars. Thisbe runs off [dropping her mantle] THESEUS
DEMETRIUS Good job shaking that mantle like a mouse, Lion.
Well roared, Lion! DEMETRIUS
THESEUS Here comes Pyramus.
Well run, Thisbe! LYSANDER
HIPPOLYTA
Well shone, Moon! Truly, the moon shines with a
good Grace.
THESEUS
Well moused, Lion!
DEMETRIUS
And then came Pyramus -
LYSANDER
And so the lion vanished.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Sweet Moon, I thank thee for thy sunny beams; I
thank thee, Moon, for shining now so bright; For, by
thy gracious, golden, glittering gleams, I trust to take
of truest Thisbe sight. But stay - O spite! But mark,
poor Knight, What dreadful dole is here? Eyes, do you
see? How can it be? O dainty duck, O dear!
Thy mantle good - What, stained with blood?
Approach, ye Furies fell! O Fates, come, come,
Cut thread and thrum, Quail, crush, conclude, and
quell.
THESEUS
This passion, and the death of a dear friend, would go
near to make a man look sad.
HIPPOLYTA
Beshrew my heart, but I pity the man.
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
O wherefore, Nature, didst thou lions frame, Since
lion vile hath here deflowered my dear?
Which is - no, no - which was the fairest dame That
lived, that loved, that liked, that looked with cheer.
Come tears, confound! Out sword, and wound The
pap of Pyramus; Ay, that left pap, Where heart doth
hop: Thus die I, thus, thus, thus! [ Stabs himself.]
Now am I dead, Now am I fled; My soul is in the sky.
Tongue, lose thy light; Moon, take thy flight; Now die,
die, die, die, die. [He dies]
DEMETRIUS
No die, but an ace, for him; for he is but one.
LYSANDER
Less than an ace, man; for he is dead; he is nothing.
THESEUS
With the help of a surgeon he might yet recover, and
yet prove an ass.
HIPPOLYTA
How chance Moonshine is gone before Thisbe comes
back and finds her lover?
Now the lion has disappeared
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
Sweet moon, thank you for your sunshine. I thank
you, moon, for shining so bright, because I know I
will see Thisbe clearly in your beautiful, golden,
glittering beams. But wait. O no! Look, poor man,
what awful tragedy has happened? Eyes, what do you
see? How can it be? O darling dear! Your trusty cloak
is here stained with blood. Come, angry Furies.
Come, fates, come, come and avenge her. Cut the
thread of my life. Destroy, crush, conclude, and kill
THESEUS
If it were combined with the death of a close friend,
this scene might almost make a man cry
HIPPOLYTA
I’ll be darned if I don’t feel sorry for him
BOTTOM ( as Pyramus)
O nature, why did you make lions so vicious that they
have devoured my love? She was the most beautiful
woman that ever lived, loved, liked, or looked. Tears,
fall. Sword, wound my breast. Yes, on the left, where
the heart beats. Thus I die. Like so, like so, like so (he
stabs himself) Now I am dead. Now my soul has fled
into the sky. My tongue no longer sees. Moon, fly
away (exits moonshine) Now die die die die die (he
dies)
DEMETRIUS
He’s nothing but a single die, rolling an ace now,
because he is just one
LYSANDER
He’s less than an ace now. He’s dead, so he is
nothing.
THESEUS
A doctor could save him, so that he could be an ass
once more
HIPPOLYTA
If Moonshine has left already, how will it be possible
for Thisbe to see Pyramus when she comes back to
find him?
THESEUS
She’ll find him by starlight. [Enter Flute as Thisbe]
Here she comes. Her passionate speech of mourning
will be the conclusion of the play.
HIPPOLYTA
I think she shouldn’t have much to say about this guy.
I hope she’ll be brief.
DEMETRIUS
A speck of dust will tip the scales to decide who’s
THESEUS
She will find him by starlight. Here she comes and her
passion ends the play.
HIPPOLYTA
Methinks she should not use a long one for such a
Pyramus: I hope she will be brief.
DEMETRIUS
A mote will turn the balance, which Pyramus, which
Thisbe is the better: he for a man, God warrant us;
she for a woman, God bless us.
LYSANDER
She hath spied him already, with those sweet eyes.
LYSANDER
And thus she means, videlicet
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
Asleep, my love? What, dead, my dove?
O Pyramus, arise. Speak, speak Quite dumb? Dead,
dead? A tomb Must cover thy sweet eyes. These lily
lips, This cherry nose, These yellow cowslip cheeks
Are gone, are gone. Lovers, make moan; His eyes
were green as leeks. O sisters three, Come, come to
me With hands as pale as milk; Lay them in gore,
Since you have shore With shears his thread of silk.
Tongue, not a word! Come, trusty sword, Come,
blade, my breast imbrue! [Stabs herself.] And
farewell, friends. Thus Thisbe ends Adieu, adieu,
adieu. [ Dies]
THESEUS
Moonshine and Lion are left to bury the dead.
DEMETRIUS
Ay, and Wall too.
BOTTOM [ Starting up, as Flute does also.]
No, I assure you, the wall is down that parted their
fathers. Will it please you to see the epilogue, or to
hear a Bergomask dance between two of our
company
THESEUS
No epilogue, I pray you; for your play needs no
excuse. Never excuse; for when the players are all
dead, there needs none to be blamed. Marry, if he
that writ it had played Pyramus and hanged himself
in Thisbe’s garter, it would have been a fine tragedy:
and so it is, truly, and very notably discharged. But
better — Pyramus or Thisbe. If this actor makes a
better man, God help us. But God help us if the actor
playing Thisbe makes a better woman.
LYSANDER
Look, Thisbe’s sweet eyes have spotted Pyramus
already.
LYSANDER
And so she’ll start moaning in grief, watch:
FLUTE ( as Thisbe)
Are you asleep, my love? Are you dead, my dove?
Pyramus, Get up! Speak, speak. Are you silent?
Dead? Dead? I must cover your eyes with a tomb.
Your lily-like lips, your red nose, your yellow cheeks
are gone, are gone. Lovers, cry out in grief. His eyes
were as green as leeks. Three fates, come to me with
your pale hands. Dip them in his blood, since you
have cut the silk thread of his life. Tongue, don’t say
a word. Come, trusty sword, and stain my chest with
blood.
[She stabs herself] Goodbye, friends. This is how I
die. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. [She dies]
THESEUS
Moonshine and Lion are the only ones left to bury the
dead.
DEMETRIUS
Yes, and wall, too. No, no.
BOTTOM [ Starting up, as Flute does also.]
I promise, the wall that once separated Pyramus and
Thisbe’s fathers is still down. Would you like to see
the epilogue? Or shall two of us perform a rustic
dance for you? [Bottom and Flute stand up]
THESEUS
No, please don’t perform an epilogue —your play
does not need any explanation. Never explain
yourselves, because when the players are all dead,
there’s no one left to blame. Indeed, if the person who
wrote this had also played Pyramus, and had hanged
himself with Thisbe’s garter, that would have been a
fine, tragic ending. You have performed the play very
well. But let’s have a bergamask. No need for an
epilogue.
[Bottom and Flute dance, then exit] The clock has
chimed midnight. Lovers, it’s time to go to bed; it’s
almost time for the fairies to appear. I am worried
we’ll sleep in past the morning, since we have stayed
up so late tonight. This silly play has passed the
evening well. Dear friends, let’s go to bed. We’ll
continue celebrating our weddings every night for
two weeks. [Exit all. Enter Robin Goodfellow with a
broom]
come, your Bergomask; let your epilogue alone. [The
company return; two of them dance, then exeunt
Bottom, Flute and their fellows.]
The iron tongue of midnight hath told twelve. Lovers,
to bed; ‘tis almost fairy time. I fear we shall out-sleep
the coming morn As much as we this night have
overwatched. This palpable-gross play hath well
beguiled The heavy gait of night. Sweet friends, to
bed. A fortnight hold we this solemnity In nightly
revels and new jollity.
OBERON OBERON
Now, until the break of day Through this house each From now until dawn, we will each wander through
fairy stray. To the best bride-bed will we, Which by this house. We’ll find the best marriage bed, and
us shall blessed be; And the issue there create Ever bless it, making sure that the offspring of the
shall be fortunate. So shall all the couples three Ever couple will always have good fortune. So these
true in loving be, And the blots of nature’s hand Shall three couples will always be in love with each
not in their issue stand. Never mole, harelip, nor scar, other, and nature will not spoil their children with
Nor mark prodigious, such as are Despised in blemishes.
nativity, Shall upon their children be. With this field- No mole, harelip, or scar, or any other birthmark
dew consecrate, Every fairy take his gait, And each shall ever appear on their children. With this sacred
several chamber bless Through this palace, with dew from the field, bless every chamber in the
sweet peace; And the owner of it blest Ever shall in palace with sweet peace, and bless the owner,
safety rest. Trip away, make no stay; Meet me all by Theseus, with safe rest throughout his life. Go on,
break of day. hop to it. We’ll all meet before dawn
Exeunt [all but Puck] [Exit all but Robin Goodfellow]
PUCK
PUCK If we spirits have offended, just think the
If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is following, and all will be well: you have been
mended: That you have but slumbered here While sleeping here while these strange sights appeared
these visions did appear; And this weak and idle before you; and this silly play was nothing but a
theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do dream. Ladies and gentlemen, don’t get upset. We
not reprehend; if you pardon, we will mend. And, as I beg your pardon, and will fix everything. On my
am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to
honesty as a fairy, if we are lucky enough to avoid
your boos and hisses, we will fix everything soon
‘scape the serpent’s tongue, We will make amends
enough. If not, you can call me a liar. Goodnight
ere long, Else the Puck a liar call. So, good night unto
everyone. If we are friends, give me your hands,
you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And
and I will make everything right. Exit
Robin shall restore amends. [Exit]