The Ultimate Guide To Influencing Skills by MBM 01bndn

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Making Business Matter - Ultimate Guide to Influencing Skills
The Ultimate Guide to Influencing Skills by MBM

In this Ultimate Guide to Influencing Skills, we explore the topics below to help you and your teams
improve their influencing skills:
(You can jump to sections with these links below)
• What are Influencing Skills?

• Why are Influencing Skills Important?
• What is an Example of Influence?
• How do you Influence Others?
• How do you Demonstrate Influencing Skills?
• What is your Influencing Style?
• Why we fail to influence
• What are Negotiation and Influencing Skills
• Determine your level of Persuasion Skills
• What improves your Persuasion Skills?
• What are Six Sources of Influence?
• Understand HBDI to Become more Persuasive
• Six Incredibly Effective Principles of Persuasion
• Practical tips to Develop Influence
• So, in summary
• Look at our tutorial videos
www.makingbusinessmatter.co.uk 2
The Ultimate Guide to Influencing Skills and How to Use them to Best
Effect
In his book Tribes, Seth Godin states that it is leaders who shape the future of business, political and
social organisation. The most powerful tool a leader has, he asserts, is Influencing Skills. Godin:
“Managers manage by using the authority the factory [or organisation] gives them… A manager can’t make
change because that’s not his job. His job is to complete tasks assigned to him by someone else in the factory.
Leaders, on the other hand, ….. use passion and ideas to lead people, as opposed to using threats and bureau-
cracy to manage them.”
Whether it is convincing a child to eat their veggies or inspiring members of our staff to deliver, influ-
encing and persuasion skills go a long way. And in the world of entrepreneurship, there is pressure to
make others buy into your ideas, products and outlook.
The pied piper knew how to use his tools to influence and persuade
What are Influencing Skills?

Influencing skills are the ability to get people to do something you want them to do. This might be just
seeing your point of view, or taking an action, or sometimes getting them to do nothing.
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Why are Influencing Skills Important?

If you influence people you can achieve anything. Imagine if you could persuade someone to buy,
someone to vote, someone to see your perspective, someone to love, someone to care…Through
the skill of influence, you can change the behaviours of others to achieve your goals.
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What is an Example of Influence?

When you hear an old relative sharing a story of the years of war or stories of their past. This is an
example of influence. They might be sharing the story because they want you to feel happy for them,
sad for them, or emotional with them. Another example is of the American Shark trust that changed
the homepage of their website to say:
‘Which of these kills more people each year?
They influenced visitors to be less afraid of sharks.
Poster of Deadliest American Animals
Image courtesy of Man VS Best by LCB
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How do you Influence Others?

The 10 Most Effective Ways to Influence People
1. Build trust:
Understand the trust equation and use it positively.
2. Storytelling:
For thousands of years we have been influenced by powerful stories.
3. Lead by example:
Show others that you are willing to do what they might not be.
4. Listen actively:
Know the push/pull method of influencing to influence people well.
5. Praise:
We are all made to feel proud by praise. Do it more often.
6. Be empathetic:
People want empathy because we all want our problems heard & understood.
7. Assertive & Co-operative:

Learn the Thomas-Kilmann model to manage conflict assertively and co-operatively.
8. Body language:
Identify body language that gives you signs of what people are really saying.
9. Small words:
Know the small words that let you know what people want. For example, when someone says that
they are ‘not precious’ about something, they really are precious.
10. Be present:
You can easily kill your influencing power by, for example, reading a text when someone is talking to
you.
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How do you Demonstrate Influencing Skills?

To demonstrate influencing skills is to show someone that you can get someone else to do something.
For example, one salesperson might show their ability to influence a customer by closing a deal. Or a
project manager might show their ability to influence by persuading the stakeholders to invest more.
Or a child might show their ability to influence her parents to buy them a toy.
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What is your Influencing Style?

There are 5 influencing styles – The B.R.A.I.N model:
1. Bridging:
Listening and building relationships.
2. Rationalising:
Using logic and reason to identify solutions.
3. Asserting:
Stating ideas confidently to drive towards certain actions.
4. Inspiring:
Using passion to share a vision of what is possible.
5. Negotiating:
Exploring opportunities and proposing agreements.
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What are Negotiation and Influencing Skills?

Negotiation and influencing skills are very similar skills. Both skills aim to get someone to behave in a
certain way. In influencing you might want someone, for example, to see your perspective. In negotia-
tion, you might want the other party to agree to a deal that is more favourable to you.
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Why we Fail to Influence

Herodotus, Greek historian:
“The most hateful human misfortune is for a wise man to have no influence.”
Many of us fail to influence because we don’t realise it takes a skill to do so – not an inborn talent.
While some take to it like fish to water, the majority of us must work hard to learn and develop it.
As the case may be, without persuasion skills, we often resort to wrong approaches, which include:
1. Intimidating
Intimidation, coercion or blackmail isn’t effective. Research shows that we are more productive
when we do things willingly. Using power might make those around you do what you want, but only
for as long as you are around. When you are gone, everything slows down because there is no
self-drive.
The right skills are essential tools to make those you lead or interact with know why they have to do
a task, even when there’s no direct benefit.
2. Nagging
Some of us might think reminding others about something continually will – in the end – push them to
fall in line.
A few might do what you want after your nagging but just to have some peace of mind. Most will get
angry and shut you out. Imagining being on the receiving end? This often settles the debate on wheth-
er nagging works or not.
3. Overrating Our Persuasive Skills

Being too confident means you’ll stop improving your influencing and persuasion skills. This is especial-
ly so for those who are naturally persuasive.
As the world and people change around you, your skills should also improve. You should re-evaluate
yourself, at least once in a while, and see whether the skills you have need some improvement.
4. Being Overly Enthusiastic

Excessive enthusiasm is a turn-off to many because it smacks of vested interests. Also, no one will
take you seriously if you don’t express seriousness in what you want.
The threshold for your enthusiasm varies with your audience. In particular, different cultures and
demographics have varied expectations on etiquette, even in business setups.
5. Talking Without Listening

It’s important to have a conversation with the person you want to persuade. So, a balanced approach
is required. Have your say but ensure you are also listening.
Also, when you overtalk, you give up unnecessary information. This could make your audience recon-
sider their offers.
6. Being Too Anxious

Some anxiety is normal. Too much of it, however, may ruin it for you. It makes you come across as
phoney. Also, you certainly don’t give a convincing message if you don’t look confident.
As you build confidence, you must take note of other people’s perception of it. You can’t succeed
without doing this. It is the reason why companies invest in brand image.
7. Misunderstanding the Audience

Misunderstanding your audience leads to giving erroneous feedback. And that’s how you end up
making costly gaffes. When you give feedback based on misunderstood information, your audience
doesn’t get persuaded because they get the impression that you take them for granted.
The good news is, a little effort to know your audience builds and perfects your persuasion skills.
The study of your audience starts before the presentation. You need to know in advance, if possible,
the demographics of your audience, why the topic is important to them and their level of knowledge
(of the topic). The study continues during the presentation as you gauge the reaction of the audience
to your presentation.
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Clint Eastwood on Influencing Skills:

“It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people’s lives.”
Influencing others entails making a special impact on them so that they:
• Take your words seriously,

• See things as you do,
• Think as you do,
• Take action and
• Remain committed.
To achieve any of the above, you need to:

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Determine Your Level of Persuasion Skills
Before you improve your persuasion skill, you must first know where to start. The following are the
seven indicators you can use to rank how good you are with persuasion skills:
• Appreciating others
• Making quality decisions
• Being clear in your messaging
• Engaging the audience
• Giving and receiving feedback
• Solving problems
• Being innovative
Depending on where you fall, on a scale of one to ten, in each of these seven qualities, you would fall
into one of these levels:
Level 4 – Fully delivering

People at this level score above average in all the 7 vital qualities of persuasion skills. This is the ideal
level to be because you would, more often than not, succeed in having others agree with your view-
points.
Level 3 – High level of delivery

Those at this level score above average in 5 of the vital qualities of persuasion skills. While they are
lacking, they are pretty effective in having things done through positive persuasion.
Level 2 – Some delivery

At this level, people score above average in three vital qualities of persuasion skills. While they under-
stand their personal style and know how to adapt it to persuade, they still struggle to have an impact.
Level 1 – Early stages of delivery

A person at this level scores above average in two or one vital qualities of persuasion skills. The
success of influencing others is very remote but happens irregularly.
Level 0 – Not delivering

If you score less than average in all the skills indicators, you fall at this level. It is pretty hard for anyone
at this level to be a leader or even a team player. Nevertheless, it is a state you can change with a little
effort.
For even more accurate self-evaluation, you can use our Influencing competency framework, which
will pinpoint the exact and unique persuasion skills you have and where you need to improve.
What is your level of influence?

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What Improves Your Persuasion Skills?
Now you know just how much skill improvement you need. The next step is building these four
qualities which form the foundation of your skills:
• The listening ability – Good influencing ability entails listening to what people want.
• Trust – If people don’t trust you, you won’t influence their decisions.
• Likeable – If people like you, you can easily influence their decisions.
• Articulate your opinion – People who clearly articulate their opinion can easily influence
others.
With these, you are on the road to being persuasive.
However, to be really good with influencing you need more. You need to know how to strengthen
your self-awareness and inner confidence, understand the mechanics of body language and master the
push and pull approaches.
You can gain these valuable skills in our influencing training course.
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What are the Six Sources of Influence?
1. Personal Motivation:
What’s in it for me?
2. Personal Ability:
Can I do it?
3. Social Motivation:
What’s in it for us?
4. Social Ability
Can we do it?
5. Structural Motivation
What’s the reward for me?
6. Structural Ability
What’s the reward for us?
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Excuse the Interruption, but Here’s a Little Bit About Us…

We are the soft skills training provider to the UK Grocery Industry, helping Suppliers to win more
business. They choose us because of our money-back guarantee, our relevant experience, and because
we make their learning stick.
Our unique training method, Sticky Learning ®, ensures that your Learners are still using their new
skill 5 months later and this is supported by a money-back guarantee.
Understand HBDI to Improve Your Influencing Skills

We’ve prepared a comprehensive guide to the Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI). It’s
a psychometric assessment tool which evaluates your preferred way of thinking. Also called the
“Whole Brain Model,” it reveals which areas people prefer to think and which ones they don’t.
The 120-question HBDI survey is incredibly valuable in assessing thinking patterns of both teams and
individuals. It measures preferences as opposed to skills and isn’t really a test since there are no right
or wrong answers.
Although we all have the capacity to think in all ways, the survey assesses our preference for one of
the following ways (it also assesses variations in stressful times):
1. Fact – Logical, technical and financial.

2. Form – Organised detailed and structured.
3. Feeling –Emotional, sensory and people.
4. Future –Risk-taker, intuitive and big picture.
By understanding how people think, we can more accurately gauge their motivations, abilities, person-
alities and many other attributes. Understanding these attributes is a critical step toward effective
persuasion and influence. Hence, the tool can be very helpful in the management of human resources.
Most importantly, we can make the same assessment of ourselves, since our own thought biases can
derail our persuasiveness. By figuring out your preferences, you can achieve a greater understanding of
how and why you make decisions, learn, communicate and solve problems.
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Six Effective Principles of Persuasion
Sir David Frost, OBE, journalist, comedian and writer:
“Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.”
In his book, “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion,” Robert Cialdini expounds on 6 powerful
principles of persuasion. Using such principles, you can achieve your goals much faster, with little
obstruction.
You can watch this video, which is a summary of Cialdini’s six principles of persuasions. The list
includes:
1. Reciprocation
Reciprocation is tied to the inbuilt social obligations in human nature.
He argues that humans naturally don’t like being indebted to others; hence, would tend to reciprocate
whatever favour is offered to them. To an extent, a small gift or favour is likely to lead to a bigger
reciprocal response.
Cialdini gives an apt example of an Indian supermarket that sold £1,000 of cheese within a couple of
hours, just because they gave customers an incredibly generous offer to chop off whatever size of free
cheese sample they wished.
This principle is similar to the “reject and retreat.” In the latter, you first demand a big favour or a high
price and then wait for rejection before making a smaller follow-up demand – which happens to be
what you wanted all along. Your audience would be more than willing to agree to your second, lower
offer as a way of reciprocating the “concession” you made.
2. Commitment and Consistency

Aristotle:
“We are what we repeatedly do.”
Commitment and consistency are inbuilt to our human nature too. We don’t like backing out of deals.
This means, after agreeing to something verbally or in writing, we’re more likely to do it.
According to past studies, a seemingly simple thing as asking people whether they’ll vote will make
them most likely to follow through.
This principle is why people are advised to write down their goals and repeat them verbally several
times, to increase their chances of following through. It’s also the reason why people always act in a
way that is consistent with their identity, beliefs, and values.
Apply this principle by asking people to commit their offers in writing.
3. Social Proof
We are always influenced by what others do.
Ever wondered why when in unfamiliar situations, people always copy what others are doing? We fear
being the odd ones. And we like to do what our peers are doing.
Testimonials from satisfied clients take advantage of this powerful principle. When they see how
others have benefited from your services, potential clients are more willing to try you out. They
would be even more willing if close friends and relatives recommend your services. Take it a step
further by getting recommendations from famous celebrities!
Before you give up on your sales pitch, consider if you’ve given enough social proof.
4. Liking
We always prefer accepting requests from people we like over those we don’t.
Liking is normally based on attributes such as similarity, attractiveness, compliments, conditioning and
association, contact, and co-operation. This has far-reaching implications, considering that studies
show humans attribute traits like kindness, talent, intelligence, and honesty to people who are physi-
cally attractive.
It is a huge step to influencing others if they like you.
5. Authority
We are more likely to follow the demands of people with greater authority (real or perceived). This
also means we’re unlikely to challenge our seniors even when they are wrong.
An experiment by Stanley Milgram displayed we could go as far as killing while obeying authority.
Indeed, from a young age, we learn to cite authority (this can include data by governing bodies or
experts) when we want others to see and accept our viewpoints. This is one of the persuasive skills
to use even in business or work environments.
6. Scarcity
One-time sales, the latest holiday toy or the latest iPhone frenzies all reflect scarcity.
Scarcity is a basic economic theory based on supply and demand. Just about anything would become
more valuable if it’s in limited supply.
What’s even more peculiar, we would want something more if it’s uncommon and rare. Therefore, to
achieve greater impact, highlight the potential for a wasted opportunity.
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Practical Tips to Develop Influence

Maya Angelou, poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist:
“Any one of us can be a rainbow in somebody’s clouds.”
Martin Luther King Junior is one of the most influential figures in American history. His “I Have a
Dream” speech is one of the greatest speeches in the 20th century. In the speech, he called for equali-
ty for people of all races, including black Americans. Through his great influence and against all odds,
he rallied masses against injustice.
The principles of persuasion are clearly evident in Dr King’s great influence. No doubt, his Doctor-
ate of Philosophy in Systematic Theology gave him greater authority. Also, people rallied behind him to
reciprocate his wilful dedication.
Even if you don’t have such charisma and power, you can start building your skills. Often this requires
a delicate balancing act.
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So, in summary, ensure you do the following:
• Let people know your abilities and qualifications, but don’t overemphasise your successes.
• Show genuine interest in others, but don’t overdo it; otherwise, it will appear phoney.
• Make sure your presence is rewarding to those around you, but don’t hog the limelight.
• Smile, but not just when others are smiling back at you.
• Yes, do correct people when they go wrong, but don’t be too judgemental.
• Prove that you’re always reliable, but don’t take more responsibility than you can handle.
• Learn to assert yourself without being overly aggressive, which could ruin long-term relation
ships.
• Be flexible and open to new experiences, but don’t lose your authentic self.
• Develop close personal relationships without intruding where you shouldn’t.
• Take more action than words, but don’t neglect the power of your words.
• Don’t always react to situations; instead, prepare beforehand how you’ll handle unexpected
events.
• Constantly evaluate the impact you have and make changes where necessary.
• Don’t rely only on your own capacity, but build a strong network of influencers.
At times, you might assume your words have made an impact, yet they haven’t. Just so
you can be sure of the impact you actually have, you should know how to get a better
read on people:
• Avoid confirmation bias – People often focus on aspects confirming their biased
perceptions. To avoid this, always be open to revising your initial judgements about others.
• Be aware of the influence other people have on you – As you seek to persuade others,
many more are trying to do the same to you. Notice the incredible amount of external stimuli
in this modern advert-filled life. You’ll surely need some time off once in a while.
Key Insights
Developing persuasion skill is an investment worth your time, effort and money. It becomes more
necessary as you advance in your career or business venture.
All this might seem a lot to absorb and even too much to recall. However, the key is to regularly put
into practice so it becomes part of your daily routine. That’s the key principle behind the Sticky
Learning process. It turns these concepts from mental lessons into lifetime personal behaviours.
You can find further insight, detailed definitions and clarification of all the key influencing terms men-
tioned in this guide in our Glossary of Terms.
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Read the Ultimate Guide to Influencing Skills Infographic Here
Look at our Tutorial Videos

Click below to go to the “Influencing” area of our YouTube channel where you can find a full playlist of
skills training for influencing tips:
Contact Us
Feel free to get in touch to find out about how our Influencing Skills Training can help you. Simply
visit here to contact us or email us at helpme@makingbusinessmatter.co.uk, and we will be
happy to get back to you.
About Alison Cassidy

Alison is pragmatic and results-driven, specialising in design, delivery
and facilitation of personal, team and leadership development,
behavioural training and change management via facilitation and
coaching. She has project managed SME led programmes, capability
frameworks/assessments and designed her own programmes. Alison
has worked across fast moving consumer goods (FMCG), financial
services, oil, gas and energy, public sector, retail and third sector.
We are the soft skills training provider to

the UK Grocery Industry, helping Suppli- www.makingbusinessmatter.co.uk
ers to win more business. They choose us
because of our money back guarantee,
our relevant experience, and because we
make their learning stick.

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www.makingbusinessmatter.co.

The Ultimate Guide to Influencing Skills by MBM

(You can jump to sections with these links below)

• What are Influencing Skills?

What are Influencing Skills?

Return to the top

Why are Influencing Skills Important?

Return to the top

What is an Example of Influence?

‘Which of these kills more people each year?

They influenced visitors to be less afraid of sharks.

Poster of Deadliest American Animals

Image courtesy of Man VS Best by LCB

Return to the top

How do you Influence Others?

7. Assertive & Co-operative:

How do you Demonstrate Influencing Skills?

What is your Influencing Style?

What are Negotiation and Influencing Skills?

Why we Fail to Influence

3. Overrating Our Persuasive Skills

4. Being Overly Enthusiastic

5. Talking Without Listening

6. Being Too Anxious

7. Misunderstanding the Audience

Return to the top

Clint Eastwood on Influencing Skills:

Influencing others entails making a special impact on them so that they:

• Take your words seriously,

To achieve any of the above, you need to:

Level 4 – Fully delivering

Level 3 – High level of delivery

Level 2 – Some delivery

Level 1 – Early stages of delivery

Level 0 – Not delivering

What is your level of influence?

Excuse the Interruption, but Here’s a Little Bit About Us…

Understand HBDI to Improve Your Influencing Skills

1. Fact – Logical, technical and financial.

“Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.”

2. Commitment and Consistency

“We are what we repeatedly do.”

Apply this principle by asking people to commit their offers in writing.

It is a huge step to influencing others if they like you.

Practical Tips to Develop Influence

“Any one of us can be a rainbow in somebody’s clouds.”

Look at our Tutorial Videos

About Alison Cassidy

We are the soft skills training provider to

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