SKILLS OF COUNSELLING

• COUNSELING SKILLS
• There are a number of skills that are required
by counselors. Perhaps the most important
are good communication skills.
• 1. LISTENING/ OBSERVING
• Listening is one of the most valuable
counseling skills in the therapeutic
relationship.
• It can be used in three ways.
• Attending : Attending is the ability to be
physically present for the client.
• It means giving them your undivided
attention and making appropriate eye
contact, mirroring body language and
nodding. These attending behaviors show
your client that you are care.
• Be warm and friendly towards the listener
• Ask them if they are comfortable
• Remember their name
• Use Eye contact
• Active listening
• Active listening occurs when you are listening
with all your senses.
• Active listening involves listening with your
body, heart, ears, eyes, and mouth
• Paying attention
• Nodding
• Reflecting and Paraphrasing
• Asking questions to clarify your
understanding
Non-Verbal listening
Non-verbal communication means
showing your attitude through your
posture, your expression, everything
except through speaking.
Verbal listening
This is form of showing you are listening
through the words that you use. This can be
as simple as ‘yes’ or ‘ go on’
• 2. ASKING QUESTIONS
• Questioning is an important skill for
counselor. Counselors use questioning both to
improve their understanding (as form of
clarification) and also an act way to help
expose the clients feelings and emotions.
Questions are helpful in the therapeutic
environment because they allow you to learn
more about your client
• .
• Questions occur in two forms.
• Closed
• A closed question is the practice of asking a
question that can be answered as a “yes” or
“no”. Closed questions should generally be
avoided in the counseling relationship, as
they do not encourage deeper exploration.
• Open
– An open question is necessary to gather
information. An open Question is one
that cannot be answered with a simple
“yes” or “no” and it requires reflection
or exploration on the client’s end. Every
open question should be intentional and
therapeutic.
Open questions are very useful.
Open questions usually start with “How?
What? Where? Why?”.
For example: “How are you feeding your
baby?”
Closed questions are usually less helpful.
For example: “Did you breastfeed your
last baby?” If a mother says “yes” to this
question, you still do not know if she
breastfed exclusively, or if she also gave
some artificial feeds.
To start the conversation, general open
questions are helpful. For example: “How
is breastfeeding going for you?”
To continue a conversation, a more
specific open question may be helpful.
For example: “How many hours after he
was born did he have his feed?”
Sometimes it is helpful to ask a closed
question, to make sure about a fact.
For example: “Are you giving him any other
food or drink?” If she says “yes”, you can
follow up with an open question, to learn
more. For example: “What made you decide
to do that?” or, “What are you giving him?”
Reflect back what the client says:
For example, if a mother says: “My baby was
crying too much last night.”
You could say: “Your baby kept you awake
crying last night?”
• Restating /Rephrasing
• Restating and rephrasing can build a
stronger client therapist relationship.
Rephrasing a client statement allows
you better understand what a client has
just said and to gain further clarity, if
you have gotten it wrong.
• 3. REFLECTION
• Reflections are used in the counseling
process to accurately describe the client’s
state from their verbal and non verbal cues.
Reflect back what the client says
For example, if a mother says: “My baby
was crying too much last night.”
You could say: “Your baby kept you awake
crying last night?”
Feeling Reflections
Reflections allow client’s to hear the
feelings they have expressed
Affirmation

Affirmation is a form of encouragement

that is used to affirm behaviors or life
choices.
4. EMPATHY
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in
someone else’s shoes. It much more than
sympathy in that you are able show your
understanding of your client's feeling
surrounding an experience.
Empathy or empathizing means showing
that you understand how a person feels.
For example, if a mother says : “my baby
wants to feed very often and it makes me
feel so tired.”
You could say : “You are feeling very
tired all the time then?”
For example: “How many hours after he was
born did he have his feed?”

Sometimes it is helpful to ask a closed

question, to make sure about a fact.
For example: “Are you giving him any other
food or drink?” If she says “yes”, you can
follow up with an open question, to learn
more.

For example: “What made you decide to do

that?” or, “What are you giving him?”
Accept what the client thinks and feels;
Sometimes a client has a mistaken idea
that you do not agree with.
If you disagree with client or criticize you
make him feel that he/ she is wrong.
This reduces her/his confidence. If you
agree with him/her, it is difficult later to
suggest something different.

It is more helpful to accept what he thinks.

Accepting means responding in a neutral
way, and not agreeing or disagreeing.

Reflecting back and responses and gestures

which show interest are both useful ways to
show acceptance, as well as being useful
listening and learning skills.
SKILL 2: RECOGNISE AND PRAISE WHAT
A CLIENT IS DOING RIGHT

SKILL 3: GIVE PRACTICAL HELP

Sometimes practical help is better than

saying anything.
Some ways to give practical help are these:

o Help to make he/she clean and

comfortable
o Give he/she a warm drink or something
to eat
SKILL 4: GIVE A LITTLE RELEVANT
INFORMATION

Relevant information is information which is

useful for a client.

SKILL 5: USE SIMPLE LANGUAGE

Use simple familiar terms to explain thing to

client.
Remember that most people do not
understand the technical terms that health
workers use.
SKILL 6: MAKE ONE OR TWO
SUGGESTIONS, NOT COMMANDS

Be careful not to tell or command a client to

do something.
This does not help him/her to feel confident.
Instead, when you counsel a mother,
suggest what she could do differently.
Then she can decide if she will try it or not.

This leaves her feeling in control and helps

her to feel confident.