THE GIRL IN A BARRIO

An Autobiographical Essay

I remember Papa carrying me on his back whenever he came home after months of

being away at sea. I remember being with Mama most of the days, teaching me how to cook

and do household chores. I remember that as a child, there are certain rules and traditions that

I have to follow at home because it was a manifestation of what was expected of me by the

society. I look back at my life and remember the girl born in a barrio.

“Sang gin bata ka, baw indi gid ko mag ako nga bata ta ka kay sa pagka-dapa sing

ilong mo.” Those were the words my mom would always tell me every time she would make

fun of my face. My early childhood was a typical life at the barrio. I live in the province of

Guimaras and growing up with pleasures of clean environment and healthy food was the best.

We were only two siblings in the family. I, being the youngest and a girl, had to live with

certain etiquette my parents had set for me. Most of the way I think and act in public was the

influence of my mom. She told me that I should act decent in front of many people. As a girl,

I should wear clothes that are not revealing. When talking to elders, I should pay my respect

first by making “beso-beso” or “mano po” before anything else. If I want to go out on public,

I should make sure that I behave myself in a way that is acceptable by people. My family is

somehow well-known in our barrio, so I make any indecent behavior I probably be the talk of

the town the following day. She is also skilled in sewing clothes, growing vegetables, and

preparing food so I am properly trained and met their obligations within the household

chores. My mom taught me how to read and write when I was young. Every day, after I went

home from school, she would always check my bag to see if I have any assignments or

readings to do. Though my mom wasn’t able to enter college, she is pretty smart in many

ways. Every time it’s the season of rice planting, she would teach me on how to grow rice

Shein M. Gajeto
MEd-ESL
seeds needed for planting. The art of planting rice where you dip your feet in the muddy soils

of the “talamnan” has always been my favorite. My titos would actually teach me the patterns

on how I can plant the “sabod” so that it’s easier and faster. She would tell stories on how

they were raised by my grandparents. According to her, my grandfather was very strict to

them when they were young. He would beat them every time my mama and my titas would

go home late. And to note, their concept of going home late beats around 6pm onwards. That

is why my mama is very strict to me when it comes to curfews and going to places without

asking permission from her or from my papa until now. But growing up with my mom, she is

liberal in things that would teach me practical lessons in life. For example, she would allow

me to be carefree and play with soil together with my cousins, sliding down the cliff, playing

hide and seek when blackout strikes during night, and walking a mile in going to school,

those were my favorite uma lifestyles. I’m allowed to have crushes but for my papa, it’s a no-

boyfriend-before-acquiring-a-job policy. It’s funny, if I could recall, there was this one time

when my mom caught all the love letters my elementary crush had sent me. She was very

furious and told my papa about it then I got grounded for doing so. My papa was very strict

yet gentle to me. He is always away so I never really got that so much influence from him

growing up. But both my parents taught me the ultimate rule in life, that is, to be kind. And

perhaps, it was the influence of my titas as well that embedded me that kindness because

every Friday night, we would gather for a prayer meeting. There, I was honed to live in

accordance with the teachings of the church.

When I reached high school, my parents sent me into a private university in Iloilo.

Having to learn a new pattern of living, took an enormous amount of strength to muster. Even

when I was young, I always wondered what it would be like to live and scale city lights.

Since, I got the chance, I was culture shocked with the way they handle things in the urban. I

Shein M. Gajeto
MEd-ESL
got to immersed myself with my classmates who are really inclined with technologies. They

have an advance skill in learning. Not to mention the rich family background they have so my

first year was spent on adjusting with them. I remember the first time I took my computer

class. My hands were really shaking because I don’t really know how to use a computer. The

fact that my teacher was a real terrorist in explaining concepts, lighted up the butterflies on

my stomach. The good thing about my classmates is that, they are willing to extend help

whenever I ask for it. But every time I am with them, I tend to be inferior especially with the

way they dress in public. They know how to mix and match their clothes and there’s me,

wearing only t-shirt, pants, and slippers in every practice. But I managed to adjust with the

way they do things in the city in a two-year time. I really tried my best to gain awards and be

on top to compensate the efforts of my parents with so much expectations put on my

shoulders.

But as I spent my teenage years at the city, I tend to be rebellious in a way that I don’t

ask permission anymore every time I want to go to other places. That’s when I learn to drink

alcohol with the influence of my classmates. But I’m glad they taught me how to. Even if my

high school was a transition period of learning conflicting values I learned from the “uma”

and urban lifestyle, I considered my high school as the best period of my life. Because I am

living away from my parents, I got to learn to live independently. That’s when I became

mature in making decisions for my own without depending on others.

Even if got to be immersed with the city culture, I never abandoned the teachings I

acquired at the barrio. The respect for the elderly, the kindness my parents taught, and the

way on how should a woman behave, are the values I always carry and live up until now.

Many would say that the life at the city is living to the extremes of your dreams and great

pleasures but I would say that nothing compares to growing up with waking up in a clean

Shein M. Gajeto
MEd-ESL
fresh air, hearing the chirps of the birds singing, and gathering together of family and

relatives. Whenever or wherever life takes me, I will always be that girl in a barrio.

Shein M. Gajeto
MEd-ESL