bastards.

PEARLESCENT EDITION

1
bastards.
PEARLESCENT EDITION

MMXXII

Words and layout by Micah Anderson.

“Extra Classes” written by Thrift, Max,
Batts, Mikey, Chris, Sean, and Micah.
Edit by Jared Sinclair.
Art from the public domain.

Suitable for simple old-style

roleplaying faire—my synthesis of
“dragon games” into the one I want to
play and run. This is not a complete
system. There are gaps, though fewer
than ever before. You can fill them. I
believe in you.

Text in this booklet is set in EB

Garamond. Headers are Futura. Drop
caps are Doppler.
CONTENTS
How to Play 5 Hirelings 25
Stats 6 Reactions 26
Luck 7 Monsters 27
Combat 8 Traps 39
Health 9 Tricks 40
Class 10 Treasure 41
Inventory 12 Magic Items 42
Equipment 13 Potions 45
Weapons 14 Magic Wands 48
Opposition 15 Dungeons 49
Spellcasting 16 NPCs 51
Spells 17 Gear List 52
Advancement 18 Extra Classes 56
Time & Light 20 Level 0 62
Exploration 21 A Simple
Encounters 22 Dungeon 63
Followers 24 Appendix N 75

4
HOW TO PLAY
Itrivial
f you have a good plan or quality
equipment, or if you’re attempting a
task, you succeed. If the action is
risky, or if failure would be interesting,
use the dice!
To resolve most actions, make a
Check—roll d20 under a relevant Stat.
If you’re on the back foot, roll with
Disadvantage: roll two of the same dice
and take the worse result. For
Advantage, take the better result.

5
STATS
Y ou have three Stats you use to
interact with the world. At character
creation, roll 3d6 for each, in order.
strength. Bodily prowess. Used for
melee attacks, determining Inventory
slots, and your starting HP.
dexterity. Agility and reflexes. Used
for ranged attacks and stealthiness.
wisdom. Mental acuity. Used to cast
spells, determining Initiative, and the
number of spell slots you have.

6
LUCK
Starting Luck is equal to half of your
highest Stat.
Spend a point of Luck to have
things go your way.
To test your Luck, roll a d20 under
your current Luck to avoid
catastrophe—whether you succeed or
fail, reduce your Luck by 1.
Every morning, set your Luck to its
starting value.

7
COMBAT
Cunfair
haracters are squishy, and enemies
do massive damage. Make combat as
(to your advantage) as possible,
or avoid it entirely.
When necessary, determine
Initiative by rolling d20 under your
Wisdom. If you succeed, you decide
when you act. If you fail, the GM does.
To hit an enemy with an attack, roll
under a relevant Stat (Strength for
melee attacks, Dexterity for ranged),
but over your opponent’s Armor Class.
When half of a single opponent’s
health is gone, or when half of a group
of enemies is dead, roll under your
Wisdom to see if they stay to fight, or if
they run away or surrender.

8
HEALTH
TStrength
o determine your HP at character
creation, roll d6 and add your
score.
When you take damage, reduce your
HP by that much. At 0 HP, roll d20
under your Luck or die. If you succeed,
return to 1 HP and gain an Injury (takes
up a slot of your Inventory).
Regain d3 HP for a short rest. A
night of sleep with a fire and food
restores all HP. A week of bed rest
heals 1 Injury.

9
CLASS
W hen you roll your starting HP,
consult this list. The d6 result also
determines your class:
1 HP. wizard. You start with 3 spells,
and can read all languages.
2 HP. diviner. You start with 1 spell.
You may cast bones or pull cards to
point the way to a stated destination.
3 HP. acrobat. You can fit through any
space as big as your head, and your
unarmed attacks deal damage as a
small weapon.

10
4 HP. thief. You may roll a d20 under
Luck to have something small and
useful in your pocket. You have
Advantage on lockpicking and sleight
of hand.
5 HP. fighter. You have Advantage to hit
with melee weapons. Roll for an
additional weapon at character creation.
6 HP. barbarian. When you attack with
a weapon, roll the next size up for
damage. Ignore this ability while
wearing armor.

11
INVENTORY
Y ou can hold a number of items equal
to your Strength. Most items take up
one slot, but each piece of armor takes
two, while weapons take as many slots as
they require hands to wield. Small items,
like coins or arrows, take up no slots.
When your HP falls to 0, roll d20
under your Luck or die. If you succeed,
you live (1 HP), but gain an Injury.
Injuries take up one slot of Inventory
space—you can’t use that slot until the
Injury is healed.
INJURIES
Type Location
1. Lacerated 1. Leg or Foot
2. Crushed 2. Arm or Hand
3. Stabbed 3. Stomach
4. Poisoned 4. Chest
5. Burned 5. Head
6. Cursed 6. Innards

12
EQUIPMENT
A t character creation, everyone starts
with a cloak, three torches, three
rations, a waterskin, and a knife. Roll for
a starting weapon and associated ability.
Unarmed attacks do 1 damage.
Small or shoddy weapons do d6 with
Disadvantage, while normal weapons
do d6. Heavy or impressive weapons
do d6 with Advantage. Magic weapons
deal 2d6 damage and also do
something cool.
Armor comes in pieces: helmets,
cuirasses, greaves, gauntlets, surcoats,
and shields. Each piece of armor takes
up two slots and increases your Armor
Class by 1.

13
WEAPONS
Rollassociated
d6 for your starting weapon and
ability.
1. unarmed. Start with a spell.
2. improvised. Advantage to climbing
and grappling.
3. small. Do d6 additional damage to
unaware enemies.
4. medium. +1 attack per round.
5. heavy or ranged. Advantage on
healing rolls.
6. a piece of armor. Roll again.

14
OPPOSITION
Icapabilities—like
n order to do things that are directly
opposed to another’s wishes or
escaping a grapple or
sneaking to avoid detection—roll under
a relevant Stat and over your
opponent’s HD or Level.

15
SPELLCASTING
Iffollowing
you start with a spell, roll on the
list.
By default, spell effects last ten
minutes or until you cast another.
Spells that deal damage do a d6 per
caster Level.
To affect an enemy with magic, roll
under Wisdom but over the enemy’s
HD or Level.
When you gain a new spell,
combine the magic words you already
have in new ways, or roll a new word.
Spells can be reversed (Summon
Light becomes Dispel Light, for instance).
You can hold a number of spells in
your head per day equal to your
Wisdom. Spells can be memorized
more than once, taking up a slot each.
Spent spell slots come back each
day at dawn.

16
SPELLS
action object
1. Teleport 1. Self
2. Transmute X to Y* 2. Wine
3. Ensnare 3. Blood
4. Enthrall 4. Water
5. Speak With 5. Glass
6. Explode 6. Stone
7. Summon 7. Flesh
8. Control 8. Metal
9. See Through 9. Light
10.Engorge 10.Ooze
11.Detect 11.Hawk
12.Solidify/Liquify 12.Corpse
13.Protection From 13.Air
14.Breathe 14.Fire
15.Become 15.Snake
16.Disintegrate 16.Ghost
17.Mend 17.Bones
18.Combine X and Y* 18.Fish
19.Conceal 19.Force
20.Sculpt 20.Sadness
*Roll two Objects, one for X and one for Y.

17
ADVANCEMENT
Ea Level.
very other session, or whenever you
do something truly impressive, gain
When you gain a Level, add 1
to your HP or attempt to improve one
of your stats. To improve a Stat, roll
3d6 over your current score in that
Stat—if you succeed, add 1 to it.

18
REFERENCE
• optional rules
• how to run the game
• referee tools

19
TIME & LIGHT
Imeaningful
n the outside world, time passes in
six-hour Watches. You can do one
thing each Watch. In heavily
trafficked areas, roll for an Encounter
each Watch. In sparsely populated areas,
roll only every other Watch.
In a dungeon, time passes in Turns.
A Turn is roughly 10-20 minutes, the
amount of time it takes to search an
area, examine a trap, or take a short rest.
In combat, time is measured in
Rounds. Each Round is a few seconds,
time enough to attack, cast a spell, look
for something, or quaff a potion.
Torches go out after an hour,
lanterns after 3 hours. Candles only last
a few rooms. All of them provide the
same amount of light, and they
automatically alert sighted or heat-
sensing enemies.

20
EXPLORATION
Y ou can travel to one adjacent hex
each Watch, or explore the one
you’re currently in. If the terrain is
hazardous, it takes two or more
Watches to travel safely to another hex.
Horses and roads reduce how much
time it takes to travel between hexes.

21
ENCOUNTERS
W hen rolling for an encounter, roll a
d6. On a 1 or 2, roll on your favorite
encounter table. On a 1, the encounter
happens immediately. On a 2, there is a
sign of the next encounter, instead.
SAMPLE DUNGEON ENCOUNTERS
1. evil magic user. Devious.
Researching fell magics. Signs: ozone,
scorch marks, blood-runes.
2. giant rats. d6. Twisted by
experimentation and exposure to
mutagens. Can cast 1 spell. Signs:
skittering, glowing eyes, gnawed corpses.
3. skeletons. d6+1. Servile to the evil
mage. Signs: disturbed dust, clicking.
4. slime. Escaped potions. Signs:
dripping, acid burns.
5. wandering trap. Camouflaged as
surfaces, mouths open up into the Plane
of Infinite Pits.
6. goblins. 2d6 scouting. Signs: feces,
laughing, weaponry clinking.

22
SAMPLE WILDERNESS ENCOUNTERS
1. farmers. d6 going to market with a
wagon of crops. Need protection from
bandits and monsters. Signs: wheel
ruts, scat, dropped plants.
2. wolves. 2d6. Hungry and intelligent.
At night, the alpha she-wolf becomes
bipedal and vengeful for her
slaughtered pups. Signs: howling,
animal carcasses, paw-prints.
3. soldiers. Band of 6d6 turned to
banditry. Led by a warlord in wolfskins
living in a nearby fort. Signs: discarded
weapons, burnt homes, campsites.
4. herd animals. 3d20 buffalo. Flee if
approached. Signs: musk, droppings.
5. gryphon. Vicious and dumb. Nests
atop a ruined tower and hunts horses.
Signs: dead horses, soldiers, and farmers.
6. goblins. 2d6 exiled. Signs: loud
worship, feces, arguing.

23
FOLLOWERS
Hdayirelings are NPC followers made loyal
by coin. They require money every
to continue in your service.
Roll 2d6+3 for Follower stats as
needed (or roll 2d6+6 instead for one
that they excel at). Followers die
immediately at 0 HP.
To get noncombatant followers to
fight, roll d20 under your Wisdom. They
have Disadvantage on combat rolls.

24
HIRELINGS
lampbearer. d6 HP. Carries a lantern on
a pole. Disadvantage on combat rolls.
1 Gold per day.
craftsperson. d6+1 HP. Advantage on
rolls related to their profession
(blacksmith, alchemist, artist, farrier).
2d6 Gold per day.
burglar. d6+1 HP. As Thieves. 25%
share of any treasure.
hoplite. d6+6 HP. Spear-wielding
mercenaries. 2d6 Gold per day.
arquebusier. d6+3 HP. Well-trained gun
brigadier. Good at demolitions.
3d6 Gold per day.
magus. 2d6 HP. A hedge-mage or
wandering apprentice. Knows d3 spells.
Cowardly. 3d6 Gold per day, or one
unique magic item per week.

25
REACTIONS
Irollfmight
you’re unsure about how NPCs

2d6.
react to the player characters,

2. Attack!
3. Hostile
4. Suspicious
5. Surly
6. Disinterested
7. Neutral
8. Amicable
9. Cheerful
10. Friendly
11. Helpful
12. Treats You Like Family
Factions remember players’ deeds.
If the players have hurt their chances
with the NPC, roll with Disadvantage.
If they have a history of good behavior,
roll with Advantage.

26
MONSTERS
M onsters generate their HP by rolling
a number of d6 equal to their Hit
Dice (HD). HD also acts as an
indication of their level.
Base Armor Class (AC) is 0.
Quickness or small stature can also
increase certain enemies’ AC.
Enemies roll under an Attack Value
(AV) to hit, equal to 10+HD. 20 is
always a failure.
Damage, unless otherwise stated, is
d6. Creatures that have multiple
attacks list them in row, separated by
slashes: for instance, “Claw/Claw/
Fangs,” which indicates three attacks
per Round.
Instead of Luck, monsters have a
Save value. Usually 5+HD.

27
ANTLION
4HD. 4AC. Scything Jaws or Naphtha
Spray. 9S.
Hide under loose soil. Jaws click
together and produce sparks.
BANDIT
2HD. d3AC. Shoddy Weapons. 7S.
3-in-6 chance to have Treasure. Not
willing to die for this shit.
BASILISK
2HD. 5AC. Glass Claws. 7S.
A living section of crumpled spacetime.
If you look at it with both eyes, test
Luck or die. Its directed shriek teleports
victims randomly.
BONEFISH
3HD. 5AC Head, 1AC Body. Bite. 8S.
Dim, evil eyes set in bone plates above
scything razor jaws. Holds grudges.

28
CAVE CRICKET
1HD. 1AC. Spit. 6S.
Its spit is nearly impossible to remove, can
be sold as a mild narcotic to specialists.
CHROMATIC OOZE
4HD. 2AC. Acid Pseudopods. 9S.
• Red. Crawls inside the mouths of
sleeping victims. Test Luck morning
and night or become possessed.
• Orange. Radiates heat. +2 damage,
immune to fire.
• Yellow. Smells delicious. Dissolves
metal and wood.
• Green. Drips from above and
dissolves through flesh in d6 rounds.
Destroyed by bright light.
• Blue. Ozone-scented. Can cast 1 spell.
• Indigo. Divides in two when struck.
• Violet. Looks like a chest or furniture,
aside from subtle breathing.

29
DEMON
6HD. 2AC. Claws or Flame Whip. 13S.
Summoned from the Pit, given physical
form under a mage’s geas. Unbidden,
incorporeal, and oracular.
DRAGON
10HD. 7AC. Claw/Fangs (2d6). 19S.
Knows exactly how much Gold it has.
Firebreath 3/day, test Luck or be
completely immolated.
DREAM WARRIOR
3HD. 3AC. Sword/Mace. 8S.
Hired dream-walking killer wearing
ornate armor. Physical body is
emaciated and comatose.
ELEMENTAL
5HD. 2AC. Blow. 10S.
Roll d20 on the Spell Object list for a
random element.

30
ELF
2HD. d3AC. Weapon. 7S.
Troglodyte superhuman aesthetes.
Blind in sunlight. Each can cast 1 spell.
EYE LORD
6HD. 1AC, or 4AC with forcefield. 8
Eye Heat Rays. 14S.
Overblown overseers trapped on this
world after their previous colonization
efforts failed. Giant orb-brains covered
with eyes and cilia, and snapping beaks
hanging below. They turn on their
strange shimmering forcefields in
battle. Continuous eye contact induces
servitude in earthly creatures. Test
Luck to negate, but take d6 damage
from strain.

31
FLAIL SNAIL
4HD. 6AC. Eye Bash/Eye Bash or
Shell Flail. 9S.
Giant gastropod with a shell of huge,
jagged metal, studded with precious
stones, rusted blades, and adventurers’
bones. Flips itself onto prey using its
muscular eye stalks.
GARGOYLE
3HD. 5AC. Claws/Claws/Tail or Lava
Spew. 8S.
Naturally-occurring, self-replicating
golems. Hidden life-glyphs and
magmatic innards.
GHOUL
2HD. 1AC. Claw/Claw. 7S.
Garrulous undead cannibals.
Backwards legs. Can access the
chthonic labyrinth between worlds. On
touch, Test Luck or be paralyzed.

32
GIANT ANT
3HD. 3AC. Mandibles/Sting+1. 8S.
Sprays intruders with attack
pheromones. Highly intelligent.
GIANT RAT
1HD. Claws. 6S.
Comes in packs. Hoards trash.
GOBLIN
1HD. 1AC. Rusty Weapon. 6S (8S
against Filth or Poison).
On hit, Test Luck or contract tetanus.
Worship or attempt to eat anything
stronger than them (maybe both).
GRYPHON
4HD. 3AC. Claws/Beak. 9S.
Stupid and vindictive. Delight in killing
horses, but never eat them.

33
GIANT
6HD. 3AC. Giant Weapon 2d6. 11S.
Cartilaginous humanoids. Grow larger
as they age, functionally immortal.
HERD ANIMAL
3HD. 1AC. Hooves. 7S.
Oxen, cattle, deer, horses, flightless
birds, giant lizards. 3d20 appearing.
KOBOLD
1HD. 3AC. Knives/Jaws or Bomb
(3d6). 7S.
Dog-headed, hairless apes with a
fondness for rudimentary chemistry.
Servitors to dragons.
LAND SHARK
7HD. 5AC. Jaws. 12S.
Subterranean shelled predator. Immune
to magic, genetically inherited from
experiments past.

34
LICH
8HD. 3AC. Death Ray (2d6). 12S.
Knows 2d6 spells. Resurrects eventually
unless turned to ash and scattered.
LUNGFISHFOLK
2HD, Spear, Net, 7S
Mucous fish people who dwell in mud
burrows. Require human children to
mutate into more lungfish spawn.
MAGIC USER
2HD. 1AC. Wavy Dagger. 10S.
Knows 3 spells.
MANTICORE
3HD. 2AC. Claws/Claws or Sting
(Paralysis). 8S.
Man-faced lions. Many rows of
articulated, thorned teeth. Can perfectly
mimic the voices of those they’ve eaten.

35
MINOTAUR
4HD. 3AC. Gore or Fists. 9S.
Prisoners of an ancient maze, their
brazen-helmets melded to their flesh.
Despite their thundering breaths,
they’re impossible to surprise.
PERYTON
3HD. 2AC. Horns or Fangs. 8S.
Winged deer-creatures that crave
human flesh. Cast no shadows, and
decorate their nests with finery.
PURPLE WORM
8HD. 5AC. Jaws or Lightning
(3d6). 13S.
Gigantic burrowing annelids with
iridescent purple armor. Test Luck or be
sucked in from below. Lightning-stone
in its throat allows it to spit electricity.

36
RUST MONSTER
1HD. 3AC. Bite. 6S.
Neonate larval moths that eat metal.
Successful attacks erode metal
weapons, armor, and equipment.
SOLDIER
2HD. 3AC. Spear or Ax. 7S.
Follow the highest bidder.
SKELETON
1HD. Claws or Ancient Weapons. 6S.
Immune to stabbing weapons. Hate the
sorcerer who controls them.
TROLL
4HD. 2AC. Claws/Claws/Jaws. 9S.
Rubbery arrogant monstrosities. Reroll
HD every round and regain that much
HP unless its cells are destroyed.

37
WANDERING TRAP
2HD. Smother. 7S.
A thin, pebbly membrane stretched across
crypt floors. Suddenly, yawning mouths
open up into the Plane of Infinite Pits.
WOLF
2HD. 1AC. Bite. 7S.
Canid pack hunters. Matriarchs can
assume human form at dusk, and walk
hidden among them.
WRAITH
5HD. 5AC. Ghostly Touch. 8S.
On a successful grapple, drains 1 level.
Incorporeal and cold.
WYVERN
4HD. 2AC. Claw/Claw/Sting. 9S.
Can fly. If stung, Test Luck or become
paralyzed for d6 Rounds.

38
TRAPS
Hwithout
azards in a dungeon should be
telegraphed and surmountable,
having set answers. Let
players make their own decisions
about getting around obstacles, and
reward their ingenuity.
SAMPLE TRAPS
1. spike pit. Open and too wide to
easily jump. Sides are crumbling. 3-
in-6 to be coated in feces.
2. snake pit. Faint hissing heard under
a mosaic on the floor. Looking through
cracks reveals only darkness.
3. closing walls. Floor scraped
conspicuously clean of dust.
4. poison gas. Faint scent of almonds.
5. buttered floor. Slight downward
incline leads into obvious danger or
another trap.
6. magic crystal. Held in a statue’s jaw.
When passed by, absorbs light, then
produces a fan of cutting illumination.

39
TRICKS
A nything in a dungeon that can be
interacted with that doesn’t
necessarily mean danger for the players.
Something that rearranges the dungeon,
reveals a secret, or is just weird.
SAMPLE TRICKS
1. illusory wall. Looks like a solid wall,
but is merely a trick of the light.
2. brazen head. Fire crackling in the
eye sockets. Asks riddles and
dispenses advice about the area.
3. magic fountain. Water is
multicolored, and acts as a potion.
4. crystal skull. Set on a pedestal. If
rotated, teleports you to a random room
in the dungeon.
5. sizing cage. Depending on the
orientation, whatever is placed inside
grows or shrinks.
6. lever. Rotate a section of the
dungeon clockwise.

40
TREASURE
TGold,hepieces.
standard economy is in Gold
There are 10 Silvers to a
and 10 Coppers to a Silver.
Treasure hoards come in four sizes:
Small, Middling, Large, and Vast.
• Small: 3d20 Copper, 3d6 Silver,
poor-quality gear, junk.
• Middling: 3d6 Gold, adventuring
gear, mundane or trade goods.
• Large: 3d20 Gold, weapons, d3
potions, fine wine or food, a spell
scroll, a wand.
• Vast: 3d20 x 10 Gold, magic items,
armor, artwork or gems, a spellbook.

41
MAGIC ITEMS
1. ring of nourishment. Anything
wearing this ring becomes edible and
nutritious. Heals 3d6 HP.
2. spirit box. 1’-long oak box. Can
tether one spirit to the box’s location.
Contains a pissed-off ghost.
3. symbiont. Meat-armor with eyes,
claws, and teeth. Can form itself
around body parts. +2 AC. Has 4d6 HP
and an alien mind.
4. flaming sword. When unsheathed, its
blade is wreathed in flames. Too much
use will melt it to slag.
5. dust of yr. Sprinkle over a dead body
to commune with their spirit. Test Luck to
commune with ancient or inhuman spirits.
6. fallen star. A cold chunk of meteorite
infused with starlight, glows dimly.

42
7. containment cube. 2’ dark metal cube
with an open side. Anything that fits
inside the opening is held in stasis.
8. blank contract. Beautiful black
vellum. Any contract written and
signed on it is enforced by divine will.
9. crude idol. A smiling trickster god. If
broken, permanently add d6 to your
starting Luck, but lose twice that
amount of maximum HP.
10. quicksilver thread. Anything sewn
together is bonded permanently.
11. coin of chirality. Flip this black iron
coin to invert everything on your
character sheet.
12. tin helm. A funnel-shaped visor.
Flipped down, the wearer can hear all
thoughts (and everyone can hear theirs).
13. hand of glory. Light a finger-wick
to be covered in un-light, invisible to
the living, but a beacon to spirits.

43
14. bezoar. Stone spat out by a basilisk.
Absorbs one poison or curse, then breaks.
15. ziph drum. All hearing it played
must Test Luck or follow and march to
the beat.
16. silencing bell. Quiets area while it
rings. No spells inside.
17. orichalcum. A lump of Dwarvish
bone-metal. Resists magic.
18. blessed pelt. Wear to turn into a
vicious, skinned beast.
19. perpetual pitcher. Refills with clean
water each Turn.
20. black egg. Heavy, torso-sized
sphere. Anyone who feeds it blood will
be reborn when they die.

44
POTIONS
San niff, sip, and eyeball a vial of liquid to
get hints of what’s inside, or take it to
alchemist for accurate identification.
Drugs and poisons require a Luck Test
to avoid suffering ill effects. Some have
no save—they’re just that dangerous.
Potion effects are permanent unless
stated otherwise.
RANDOM POTIONS
11. potion of rejuvenation. Restores 2d6
HP and heals one Injury. Has a light
hay color and fresh scent.
12. ripper. An upper used by battle-
priests. Deal an additional d6 damage per
attack, but take that much damage
yourself after it wears off in 1 Turn.
13. black lotus. Hallucinogen. Kills the
user for a femtosecond, then brings
them back. 1-in-20 chance a dark
passenger follows.

45
14. ooze. Bottled amorphous creature.
Properties depend on the coloration (as
Chromatic Ooze).
15. alkahest. Melts through any
substance eventually.
16. draught of the mouse. Drinker turns
into d6 mice.
21. cateye. The user can see in the
dark, but becomes amoral.
22. potion of mossmouth. User
experiences a green dissolving as
plant spores replace innards.
23. cloudquaff. Become as light and
diaphanous as vapor. Able to
separate into clouds and perform
precipitation for 1 Turn.
24. philtre of deboning. Instantly and
painlessly dissolves the skeleton (or
other structural apparatus) of whatever
creature (or object) it is poured on.

46
25. fleetfoot potion. Removes all hair
from the user’s body, but they can
run pretty quickly for d6 Rounds.
26. bottled voice. Drink a sip, and say
something into the bottle. Smashing
the bottle releases the trapped words.
31. mutagen. You mutate: glow, grow
extra limbs, lose limbs, turn a weird
color, gain telepathy.
32. draught of strength. Strength score
doubles for d6 Turns.
33. potion of grace. Refresh Luck,
then double it for d6 Turns.
34. potion of detonation. Explodes if
shaken too much. Drinker becomes
extraordinarily volatile.
35. bottled charisma. Reroll a single
reaction roll.
36. philter of the snail. Skin becomes
mucal and dripping. User leaves a
sticky, easily-identifiable trail.

47
MAGIC WANDS
M aterial foci preloaded with one or
more uses of a spell. Contains d6
remaining charges—some may be
replenished by arcane means.
1. elyctro-rod. Two-pronged and metal.
Can capture lightning and discharge it
at targets up to 5’ away with a button.
2. wand of the rat. Turns caster into a rat
for d6 weeks.
3. hand of death. A set of disembodied
phalanges tied to a black rod. Target
must Save or die. If they save, the user
dies instead.
4. dowsing rod. Points invariably
towards whatever the caster imagines.
5. cupboard wand. An invisible
cupboard, 3’ on a side, opens in the air.
Anything inside is completely hidden
from detection, although air is limited.
6. the multiplicator. Creates a near-
perfect copy of whatever the wand
is pointed at. Copied creatures are
weak or evil or both.
48
DUNGEONS
Dvaguely
esign around a theme. Even if the
theme is a funhouse, it should all be
connected.
Add loops, connecting passages,
tricks, reasons to backtrack and things
to play with.
Traps and monsters usually guard
something, or are specifically
telegraphed. Let players know about
hazards without giving them a way
around them.
Make sure there’s an NPC to talk to
in the underground; a reluctant cultist,
demon shopkeep, or lost adventurer.
Also have some empty rooms

49
RESTOCKING
Tmoveheinsidedungeon is not static. The things
remember, and change, and
around. Use this table to
determine what has taken up new
residence in a previously-cleared
dungeon room.
1-3. Nothing.
4. NPC.
5. Monster.
6. Monster and treasure.

50
NPCs
OCCUPATION GOAL
1. Artist To party
2. Actor To get rich
3. Lout To become famous
4. Doctor To fight evil
5. Driver To find an artifact
6. Sex worker To forget
7. Farmer To gain immortality
8. Blacksmith To impress someone
9. Academic To renounce an oath
10.Merchant To die
11.Bureaucrat To kill
12.Lamplighter To worship
13.Outlaw To go fishing
14.Con-artist To relax
15.Clergyman To sell their skills
16.Tax collector To find purpose
17.Baker To start a family
18.Servant To hunt deadly beasts
19.Adventurer To resurrect someone
20.Knight To get revenge

51
GEAR LIST
Prices are doubled outside of cities. If you
need some mundane gear, here’s a list:
WEAPONS COST
ax. Medium. 4G
bow. Medium. Ranged. 5G
club. Medium. 2G
crossbow. Heavy. Ranged. 12 G
dagger. Small. Throwable. 1G
mace. Heavy. 3G
musket. Heavy. Ranged. 20 G
polearm. Heavy. 11 G
saw. Medium. 6G
sling. Small. Ranged. 3G
spear. Medium. Throwable. 5G
staff. Medium. 2G
sword. Medium. 5G
two-hander. Heavy. 14 G
warhammer. Medium. 4G

52
ARMOR COST
helmet. 10 G
cuirass. 17 G
greaves. 7G
gauntlets. 12 G
surcoat. 5G
shield. 9G
AMMUNITION COST
arrows. Quiver of 10. 1G
dart. Bundle of 10. 2G
bullet. Pouch of 10. 5G
powder. Explosive. 7G
chemical. Clay jar full of 22 G
caustic substance.
molotov. Fire spreads and 5 G
burns for d6 rounds.

53
EQUIPMENT COST
backpack. 10 G
bellows. 6G
bottle. 3G
caltrops. 2G
candle. 2G
chalk. 1G
cloak. 10 G
crowbar. 9G
dice. 2G
file. 2G
flint and steel. 2G
glue. 6G
grappling hook. 5G
hammer. 2G
herbs. 5G
hourglass. 16 G
iron spikes. 1G

54
knife. 3G
lantern. 1G
lockpicks. 10 G
mirror. 11 G
net. 6G
oil. 11 G
parchment. 10 G
perfume. 20 G
pole. 3G
rations. 4G
rope. 3G
sack. 1G
sponge. 1G
stakes. 1G
tent. 11 G
torches. 4G
waterskin. 5G
wine. 11 G

55
EXTRA CLASSES
A t character creation, roll d66 for
your HP and class. The first die is
your HP, and the second is your class.
1 HP
1. alchemist. Can create poisons or
potions from plants and common
materials, or butcher monsters for
stronger solutions.
2. adjacist. Test Dexterity to instantly
be anywhere within your line of sight.
3. commoner. You have a farm and a
family, somewhere.
4. exile. Start with overwhelming debt
and a stalwart retainer.
5. physiker. Start with 1 spell. With
careful calculation, you can reroll one
die result each week.
6. astrologer. Start with 2 spells. You
never lose your way as long as you can
see the stars.

56
2 HP
1. cleric. Start with Mend Flesh and 1
other spell. Cast Mend Flesh to heal
yourself for d6 per level, or twice as
much if healing someone else.
2. potion-seller. Start with 6 “potions.”
3 are strong booze, and 3 contain a
random spell. Can brew one potion with
a new random spell each day.
3. “butcher.” Search any body to gain
d6 meat rations.
4. half-ling. Your body is bisected
horizontally. You can detach them at will
and control the disparate parts separately.
5. porter. Can carry double the usual
amount. Start with a set of stolen luggage.
6. goblin. You are a nasty freak, and can
make your blood poisonous by
immersing yourself in trash or sewage.

57
3 HP
1. satyr. Can dance, jeer, and skip in
circles, enticing those around you to
either join or watch, stunned.
2. blaggard. Can expel a noxious gas,
disorienting people and beasts in arms’
reach. Once each day, you can spit
poison at an enemy (d6 damage to
yourself and 3d6 to your target).
3. gleaner. Start with a basket on your
back. You can always find something
edible in the wilderness.
4. witch. Start with the spells Turn
Milk, Identify Plant, and Hex. Can speak
with animals.
5. ringmaster. Start with a half-trained
bear retainer.
6. mudlark. Can find a random item in
mud, once each day.

58
4 HP
1. opera singer. Your well-trained
voice can destroy one type of object.
2. wrestler. Roll to grapple with
Advantage. +d6 damage to all attacks
on grappled opponents.
3. gunkscraper. You spent your life
scraping gunk. You are immune to
poison, and even a small taste of your
flesh is fatal to others.
4. elf. Start with 1 spell. You see
through stone as if it were murky water.
Blind in sunlight.
5. cynocephalus. See in black-and-
white, and can track scents over
leagues. Your bite does damage as a
small weapon.
6. dancer. Start with d6 dramatic
costumes. Reroll one Dex check each day.

59
5 HP
1. knight. Can impart a geas on one
person or entity at a time. The only way to
remove it is to complete the quest or die.
2. sapper. Start with 5 black powder
bombs and a shovel.
3. janitor. Start with a ring of keys that
works once on any door.
4. bodyguard. Can redirect attacks on
others to hit you instead, and take only
half damage.
5. prisoner. Sprung from gaol and
nurtured by ghouls, you can access the
chthonic labyrinth between worlds
once each week.
6. channeler. Your meat is a vessel for
the spirits of the unquiet dead. Start
with d3 ghosts with unfinished business
inhabiting your mind.

60
6 HP
1. ghost. You're intangible and can't
touch physical objects. You can touch
magic. You can't die.
2. dwarf. Start with an ancestral
weapon and metal bones. You
immediately sink in water.
3. slime. Your sludge-body can split
into halves with equal health.
4. centaur. A horrific accident, a
melding of horse and human. Can run
as fast as a gelding, but require weekly
anti-mutagens to stabilize your flesh.
5. golem. You were created by another
from clay, stone, flesh, or metal. You
need not eat, but the geas burning in
your mind goads you to duty.
6. dream-warrior. Your body and mind
are honed like weapons. They allow
you no rest. Can invade other’s
dreamworlds and kill them.

61
LEVEL 0
U sually used for funnels—large
dungeons where vast numbers of
level-0 commoners enter, and only a
few emerge as truly battle-hardened
level-1 adventurers.
STATS
Roll 2d6+3 for each.
HEALTH AND BACKGROUND
Roll d6 and consult this list.
1. scholar. +3 Wisdom.
2. acolyte. +3 Dexterity.
3. burglar. +3 Dexterity.
4. farmer. +3 Strength.
5. soldier. +3 Strength.
6. outlander. +3 Wisdom.
LUCK
Starting Luck equal to half highest stat.
On level up, roll a Class and starting
weapon. Add your Strength to your HP,
then roll 3d6 over a Stat of your choice
to improve it.

62
A SIMPLE

dungeon

63
 1

4 2 3

5 6

7
64
HOOKS
• The local village of Mina has put up
a reward for anyone who finds out
why pets and small livestock are
disappearing, and puts a stop to it.
Goblish footprints lead back to the
tomb’s entrance.
• The wizard Crabtree is hiring
adventurers to delve into the tomb of a
king who was rumored to have a
powerful artifact, and retrieve said item.
• A fellow adventurer went missing
near here a few weeks ago after
bragging about finding a good score.
A local working girl remembers the
details, for a price.
• An ancient map depicts a handful of
vanished forts, and the tomb.

65
 B1
A2 C2
B3
A4 C4
B5
A6 C6
B7

66
SNAKE FELLS
A4. forest of folgorth. Dense trees and
spider webs.
A6. mount hargh. A manticore nests
here, looking for fabulous clothes to
warm her babies.
B1. crabtree’s tower. Tall and spatially
distorted. Crabtree himself inside, singed
and surly beneath a stuffed alligator.
B3. village of mina. Subsistence
farmers, a general store, a blacksmith,
and tavern.
B5. forest of folgorth. Ruined fort filled
with valuable arachnid eggs.
B7. antediluvian catacombs. A simple
dungeon, its entrance revealed by
landslide.
C2. lingy fen. Dark, rainy marsh.
Lungfishfolk live here, and abduct
children at night.
C6. bandit camp. Under a fallen tree.
They’ve taken the blacksmith hostage.

67
1. ENTRANCE
A 10’ pit trap, long ago sprung. A few
flimsy, rotten boards cover it. A
corpse inside has dissolved into an
indigo jelly—it feebly attempts to
schlorp out and drag in interlopers.
Remnants of pockets inside the ooze
contain d6 coins and a potion.
Carved double doors to the end lead
to the false tomb. A small tunnel in the
collapsed wall leads to the burrow.
Attempting to dig it out without proper
precautions or equipment either causes a
minor rock fall (2d6 damage) or
completely collapses it.

68
2. FALSE TOMB
A n extremely tall skeleton upon a
mostly ungilded throne. Room
strewn with pulverized bits of strangely
whorled wood decor, relics of a past
age. A conspicuous sword stands
upright in front of the skeleton. It’s
actually lead painted gold, attached to a
lever that locks the double doors and
drops the ceiling to crush the room.
A chimney in the ceiling fits the
throne area exactly. Anyone not sitting
on the throne must Test Luck or die in
six rounds.
A loose brick in the wall can be
kicked out to reveal the mass grave.
Dust arabesques in the faint breeze.
If pried out successfully, the Lead
Sword (damage as club) can transmute
one metal into another once each day.

69
3. MASS GRAVE
V ertical alcoves of stucco and
masonry conceal 25 thin graves,
each containing a skeleton: twelve
workers, eight soldiers, four priests,
and one dog. In the center, a dried
reflecting pool and a pillar with the
puissant words of an anti-graverobbing
hex engraved across its surface. A
wizard, after an hour of research, can
parse the ancient dialect and
successfully deface the runes, although
anything less than bomb-squad care
will awaken d6! of undead.
A lead coffer in the muck at the
bottom of the pool releases a
paralyzing miasma. It contains a
Random Treasure.
The reflecting pool drains into the
goblin hoard, though the pipe is too
small to fit through with armor on.

70
4. BURROW
A large, circular room with three
defaced statues. There are always
2d6 goblins here, sleeping, fighting, or
gambling for shiny rocks. One, Tim, is
secretly a halfling with a wilting carrot
tied to his face. He's trying to get the
others to embrace the philosophies of
tea-time and bathing.
Birthing pits fill the center of the
room, mounds of mud and slime
writhing with goblin larvae. If any
young are harmed, every goblin in the
dungeon will immediately hunt down
the perpetrators.
If anyone can prove their strength is
greater than that of the Troll (troll lair),
the goblins eagerly join forces with them.

71
5. GOBLIN
HOARD
A cramped, twisting room of muck-
walls and sarcophagi shelves filled
with foodstuffs and body parts. Four
clay jugs stand in the corner, filled with
powerful, flammable moonshine. 1-in-6
chance that d6 goblins are currently
stocking the stores.
Red-black ichor fills a depression in
the ground. Strax, the goblin pope,
potbellied and waxen-fleshed, grows up
from the bottom through rootlike hairs.
He knows d3 random goblin spells and
collects spiders. He keeps the key to
the chest in the hierophant chambers in
the folds of his skin.
The ichor is a mild hallucinogen.
Immersing yourself in it slowly turns
you into a goblin.

72
6. TROLL LAIR
TThehewiryancient
Troll, a great green rubbery mass of
arms and tusks, lives in this hall.
king's sarcophagus has been
converted into a bed with old
adventurers’ clothing as linens, keepsakes
of carnage from the Troll's wandering
days. Now it's too big to fit through the
door, although it has the goblins to bring
it food and entertainment.
It craves violence and plays with its
victims. It is easily distracted with riddles.

73
7. HIEROPHANT
CHAMBERS
A chapel built into this tomb, complete
with a dusty skeleton in a moth-
eaten robe (Strax wears the miter).
Piled with scavenged and hoarded
treasure the Troll stole over the years.
A locked chest in the corner
contains a book of ancient prayers—
can act as a grimoire to anyone literate
in its antiquated dialect. If someone
does, Alchorvax, God of Lobsters and
Old Age, contacts them in dreams in
three days’ time.
In addition: mounds of coins and
gems worth at least 3d6x100 G, a few
scuffed and rolled paintings, d3
potions, and d3 Random Treasures.

74
APPENDIX N
◦ Book of the New Sun
◦ Bas-Lag Cycle
◦ Elric of Melniboné
◦ Shriek: An Afterward
◦ Berserk
◦ Hothouse
◦ Earthsea
◦ Dungeon Meshi
◦ Dune
◦ Viriconium
◦ Nifft the Lean
◦ Head Lopper
◦ Nausicaa
◦ Conan the Barbarian
◦ The Scorpion King
◦ The Green Knight
◦ Tasseomancy
◦ Bauhaus
◦ DOOM CATACOMB
◦ BASIC DUNGEON
◦ Elden Ring
◦ Caves of Qud

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