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Double Trouble by Flower Smith
Double Trouble by Flower Smith
Double Trouble
by nicowememoney, Scripturient27
Summary
Separated since a young age, identical twins Taehyung and Jungkook grow up believing
they’re the only child to their respective single dads, Namjoon and Seokjin.
Until they meet at summer camp and decide to swap identities and go back home as each
other for the following reasons:
1. It’s fun ok
2. Jungkook has a hopeless crush on classmate Jimin but is too shy to talk to him so
Taehyung decides to take matters into his own hands
3. They’re curious what their other dad is like
4. Again, it’s fun ok
and
5. Maybe… just maybe, they can get their dads back together again.
Taetae
heyyyyyy
Uncle Hobi
hey
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
ok
hey
Taetae
uh actually
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
I’m the talk of the whole camp because there’s this other camper, a new guy
Uncle Hobi
what did he do????
Taetae
nothing
HE HAS MY FACE
Uncle Hobi
WTF
Taetae
RIGHT??????
IS MY FACE
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
what do I do???
Uncle Hobi
ok I will!!!
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
uncle hobi is on it
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
like, if u meet a cool lady at a bar it’s totally ok to go talk to her instead of thinking
“oh no it’s eight pm gotta go home and cook or namjoon and taetae will eat each other”
Uncle Hobi
anyway
Taetae
I will
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
I will!
love u <3
Uncle Hobi
**
Hoseokie-hyung
Joon
do you by any chance know what Jungkook usually does in the summer
Namjoonie
Jungkook?
Hoseokie-hyung
dude I know it’s been awkward between you and Jin-hyung after your divorce
Namjoonie
I trust Seokjin to take good care of him. He’s always been a better dad than I am
Taehyung got the short end of the stick, being stuck with me
I bet if he weren’t like 3 years old and couldn’t choose for himself he’d have gone with Seokjin too
Hoseokie-hyung
literally how???
look how well Taetae grew up
everyone loves him, even the Roomba never stops following him around
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
ok I may have taught Taetae to curse, to clean the shower drain and to castrate cows
but you taught him to read and to appreciate nature and to love
you’re the best dad ok even if you think you’re too busy making ends meet to be one
anyway I’m just gonna continue talking since I bet you’re crying and can’t reply to me
Jin-hyung doesn’t know what Taetae does during summers either, right?
Namjoonie
And I’m not crying, just accidentally poked my eye with a finger
Hoseokie-hyung
like, it’d be so embarrassing for you if Jin-hyung knew you always send your son to that camp
where you and hyung first met 20 years ago because you’re sentimental like that lol
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
no reason lol it just occurred to me
Namjoonie
And more importantly, how did you even teach Taehyung to castrate cows? We don’t have cows?
Hoseokie-hyung
the neighbors next door have 7, goodness Namjoon you need to stop working and look around
sometimes
Namjoonie
Wow that’s why I keep hearing moos in the middle of the night? I always thought it was my
imagination?
Hoseokie-hyung
I’m gonna pick you up take you out to that underground rap thing I told you about
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
who cares about powerpoints I bet you’re 2 days ahead of schedule anyways
Namjoon
Actually it’s 3
Hoseokie-hyung
SEE???
no more questions
I’m gonna be a proper big brother today and steal you out of that stupid office of yours and show
you a good time
**
Dad
Kookoo
How’s your first day at camp going?
Kookie
uh
Dad
Kookie
um
kind of
i guess?
Dad
Kookie
Dad
Kookie
Dad
Kookie
it was a tie
so he made us stay in a special secluded cabin that’s like all dirty and stuff
not that we’ll need it tho since we’re both bursting at the seams
Dad
LOL
Kookie
Dad
I AM SO PROUD
Kookie
Dad
I’m so glad
He needs to learn to break rules! slash the teacher’s tires! set fires to scooters!
I AM PROUD
Kookie
uh ok i guess?
Dad
so tmr we’ll be sent back to our respective cabins and wont talk again
he seems to have a lot of friends already so he prob wont want to hang out with me anymore…
Dad
Ugh Jungkook
And trust me, dad was once a shy little fawn too
But look at me now, sending flying kisses at your teachers and embarrassing you at PTA meetings
Believe in yourself
I bet you’re sitting on that dirty floor in your new cabin writing in your diary or some shit
No excuses
Kookie
ok dad
Dad
Love you
Kookie
love u too
**
Taetae
um
Uncle Hobi
good news btw, I forced your dad to come to a rap event thing with me
Taetae
i had a twin
Uncle Hobi
oh shit
omg tae the lighting here is super bad and its fucking loud so let me get out of here and we can talk
wait for me
wait
taetae???
please
shit
**
Date: Jul 8 th
ok this is weird af but i need to write my thoughts down to sort them out ok!! i haven’t even told
dad about this bc im afraid he’ll be sad or sth so im just gonna write it down here / (⁎˃ ˂)\
so, im at camp
i hated it, no lie, so many strangers and a lot of them are regulars who already know each other and
i already have trouble making friends as it is? but then some ppl started waving to me and calling
me taehyung? wtf im not taehyung i don’t know any taehyungs so i told them im not taehyung but
they just laughed and thought i was joking, it was so weird / (ᄋᄉᄋ❀)\
until i saw the real taehyung and my head goes “fuck, we’re identical” / (,, ⋏ ,,)\
ok he has chestnut hair and dad had mine dyed red but minus the hair we’re still identical??? do u
have any idea how weird that feels??? ok u probably don’t… / (´・×・`)\
anyway long story short taehyung and i got into trouble and we got sent to a shitty secluded cabin
and he seemed pretty nice and smiled at me a lot and we were both just lounging in bed (ok he’s
lounging in bed but im on the ground because the power outlet is on the ground and i gotta keep
my phone charged at all times) and then i had this sudden surge of courage and i decided to talk to
him!! (ok who am i kidding my dad put me up to it lol) /(=✪ x ✪=)\
and then we started talking and we discovered, like, we were both adopted and the only child in the
family, and we both have single dads, like what a cool coincidence is that?? and we were joking
like maybe we should set our dads up and make them get together, but we knew it wouldn’t work
out bc we live so far from each other lol. besides, i cant just introduce my dad to any random guy i
come across, right?? kim seokjin is amazing and beautiful and precious and deserves only the
best!!!! U( ÒᄉÓ)U
so that’s what i said to tae and he was like “nooooo MY dad is better” (AS IF) and then just to
prove to me how hot his dad is he takes out this picture on his phone…
like ok i knew my dad used to have a lover and they adopted me together and then they split and
we never heard from the other dad as far as im concerned (but dad still kinda loves him lol he’d
sometimes stare at his wallpaper with that faraway look in his eyes)…
but they never told me that i wasn’t the only one they adopted???
I HAVE A BROTHER!
I HAVE A TWIN!!!!!!!!
like ok im sitting here, shell-shocked and just typing away bc i have no idea how to process this
information
i showed tae a photo of my dad too and he said yeah, he’s seen him on his dad’s phone too,
except… wait, isn’t his dad my dad?
his dad = my dad
his dad + my dad = his dad + his dad = my dad + my dad = 2(his dad) = 2(my dad)
its so weird to see him cry bc he looks just like me? so its like seeing myself crying?? i don’t want
to see myself crying wtf
it’s 100% bc i just don’t like the idea of watching myself cry and also bc its kinda cold, not bc now
that i have a new brother im gonna protect the shit out of him ok
**
Taetae
uncle hobi?
Uncle Hobi
and also namjoon hasn’t come home yet and I’m up waiting for him
I can explain!!!
Taetae
wtf dad hasn’t come home yet????
Uncle Hobi
yeah, we were at the underground rapper thing together but I got your text and rushed outside
couldn’t get back in with the crowds so I texted him that I’ll be waiting at home
don’t worry too much, though, the event goes on till really late and the rappers there often start
chatting and end up getting beer somewhere else
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
well I tried to
but this isn’t a matter I can talk to him about over text and the venue was super loud so he prob
didn’t hear me call and never picked up
anyway, I can explain, ok? your dad… well, both of your dads…
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
good
so both dads agreed that they want their kids (that’s you and Kook) to have a happy, uncomplicated
life
and telling you guys that there’s another one of you would of course make things complicated
and they really don’t want to meet up, especially not in front of you guys
because there’s gonna be #angst and #emotions and they don’t wanna affect you
so it’s like, they decided to part civilly
but it doesn’t mean that your dad doesn’t love you, Taetae
I can’t vouch for the other dad since I haven’t met him for a long long time but
Namjoon loves you so much, he wants only the best for you
He’s always beating yourself up for not being a good enough dad
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
exactly
“oh if only Jin had taken Taehyung!!! he’d cook for him, buy him Gucci, get him an expensive
camera, fund him to go to art school!!!! he’d know what to do when he gets sick and kiss him when
he puts him to bed and taehyung would get to run around in the vineyards like the free spirit he is
and omg maybe Jin should’ve just taken them both instead of letting me take Taehyung!!1!one!”
Taetae
we might not have a lot of money but EVERYONE at school envies me for having such a great
dad????
actually that was how kookie and I discovered we’re twins lol we were arguing about whose dad is
better and that led to us comparing dad pics
i have a… question
Uncle Hobi
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
will you help us out? help him act more like me, stuff like that
hypothetically?
Uncle Hobi
goodness
Taetae
yeah, hypothetically
Uncle Hobi
but why?
Taetae
knowing that someone as awesome as kim namjoon exists… but never getting to see him in person
and here’s the perfect opportunity for him to actually live with him, in the same flat
Uncle Hobi
I don’t even know what Kookie looks like lol
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
ok…
hypothetically…
Taetae
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
they won’t! they don’t even know we met up at the camp, so they won’t be able to put two and two
together
since we can’t hang out together all the time at the camp, or lisa and the others are gonna get
suspicious lol
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
I wanna, I hate keeping things from them
but I can’t
u know lisa is great friends with her mom and tells her everything and her mom is also dad’s
colleague so…
and if i don’t tell lisa i can’t tell anyone else because lisa is my bestest friend
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
yay!!!!
it means that u, uncle hobi, who knows my dad better than anyone else
since the two of us switching places kinda involve dad and other dad meeting
Uncle Hobi
well yeah, I guess I always kinda secretly thought they deserve a second chance together
all those things they fought over… they were really insignificant
there were issues with some of Jin-hyung’s rich old great aunts or something but they’re prob all
dead now
he never moved on
Taetae
that’s good news then because other dad never moved on either
Uncle Hobi
Taetae
no wtf it’s the wallpaper for his pc not the wallpaper for his house
Uncle Hobi
thank goodness Namjoon might be my favorite person but I still wouldn’t want 1,000 Namjoon
faces staring at me from the wall
**
Taehyung
I love u
Dad Joon
Huh? Why?
this started as a random concept that just popped up and then we aggressively
screamed ideas at each other for 2 hrs and now it's born
Tae
Kook
yeah we should
we could’ve started much sooner if u hadn’t been swimming with ur friends lol
Tae
come on we’re at camp! we gotta have fun! we gotta swim in the lake!
Kook
ok
but seriously
im not like u
i rly cant
Tae
Kook
like when it comes to making friends i don’t rly take the first step
until ppl eventually get used to the idea that i exist and they cant get rid of me and accept that im
here to stay
Tae
shhh don’t get all worked up, there’s nothing wrong with that, ur fine as u are
Kook
Tae
of course it will work, u have my looks and my voice and we talk alike
Kook
but actually they hate their mom and haven’t talked to her in ages and ur supposed to know that
they’d be so heartbroken???
Tae
well u can ask them to tell u their name again and explain how they know me
then tell them ur doing method acting, ur trying out a role as an amnesiac
and they’ll be like “oh cool tae is being an amnesiac this time ^^ hehehe” and forgive u
Kook
i don’t think we can just solve everything with the method acting excuse omg
like it prob will be less of a problem for u when ur being me bc i don’t rly have friends
so its not likely anyone will approach me and expect me to remember them
Tae
u can always text me pics of ppl u don’t recognize and I promise I’ll respond in a flash!
of course, before we go home, i gotta compile a huge file of info of all the ppl i know and details u
ought to remember about them, like birthdays, hobbies, clubs, location of their homes, what they
do after school, food they don’t eat, etc.
since i have a secret handshake with uncle hoseok and i cant teach u that over text
Kook
tonight?
outside my cabin?
Tae
Kook
Tae
yes hehehe
anyway
Kook
Tae
Kook
no
nooooo
Tae
well I cant come to camp with ear piercings and go home without, right?
Kook
Tae
actually that’s another thing I gotta teach u, since ppl are gonna come up to u at school and ask u to
pierce their ears, just a heads-up
Kook
wtf
should i dye my hair brown and u dye urs red before we go home
i mean like my dad dyed my hair red and he’d be so disappointed if i (u) go home with brown hair
Tae
I’m pretty sure lisa’s got red hair dye I can borrow
So anw, tonight, 11pm
Kook
nooooooooooooooo
**
Tae
so
I feel kinda guilty because in the past few days all I’ve been doing is harassing u by throwing
compiled info of my classmates and friends and their family and their family’s friends and their
family’s friends’ family at u
Kook
Tae
u can tell me
Kook
ok uh
Tae
!!!!!!
go on go on
Kook
Tae
Kook
i just kinda
he’s so cute……..
so i guess…
if ur taking my place
he brightens my life up so much, i know he’ll have the same effect on u too
>/////<
Tae
Kook
no im not a stalker ok i don’t secretly search for his pics online or snap pics of him with my phone
or anything
Tae
Kook
but i didn’t do it and that makes all the difference
Tae
ok how about u describe him to me so that I’ll know him when I see him
Kook
im sure u will know regardless lol jimin radiates so much light u can tell its him easily
he’s got those cute puffy eyes that turn into crescent moons when he smiles
Tae
Kook
and pink hair and a cute little nose and a smile like the sun and a sharp chin in contrast with his soft
cheeks
Tae
i see
wtf tae no
Tae
Kook
do u srsly think id have a crush on someone that looks like the pic u drew
srsly???
hmm actually
Tae
#whipped
Chapter 3
Chapter Notes
Dad Joon
Hey
**
Tae
tae?
OMG theyre gonna find out and we’re so screwed my dad isnt pretty when hes mad
wait this is so weird i gotta change the contact name since this was ur phone
Kook
are u ded? omg i just figured out i had a brother and he alrdy died
Tae
Kook
Tae
say ok for gods sake text back or dads gonna think I am mad at him
Kook
Tae
Kook
um... u said his name is hoseok
also i didnt even kno i HAD ANOTHER FATHER UNTIL TWO WEEKS AGO OK CUT ME
SOME SLACK
Tae
**
Jungkook
hey dad
**
Kook
Tae
daddy?
Kook
Tae
what? wtf
ANSWER ME U ASS
**
Jungkook
its cool
the train's almost there. I'll wait for uncle hobi there
Dad Joon
Sorry Tae, I swear I was done with it but then they called me back in to file another client's taxes
and I couldn't leave
**
Kook
Tae
an accountant
hes smart af
Kook
um... ok?
Tae
he tends to forget
Kook
Tae
awww look at how grown up my kookie is hes using wofds like incompetent
Kook
maybe im ur hyung
Tae
ok hyung
**
Jungkook
its alright dad
I'll be fine
Dad Joon
Will do Tae
I'll be home soon and you can tell me all about camp
Jungkook
Dad Joon
<3
**
Dad
KooKoo
Taehyung
see u in a few!
Dad
Sure kookie
Tae
a motherfucking Lamborghini
wtf bro
just wow
i havent even gotten into the car yet and my palms are sweating lol
Kook
Tae
u didnt seem to have a problem when i spooned u the other night tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Kook
fuck u
Tae
ok ok u have a point
super loud
plus he knows abt the plan so he'll make sure u dont trip up and u can just be urself with him
Kook
WAIT WHAT?!
ur uncle, and crct me if i am wrong, but ur dad's bro knows abt the switch?
Tae
thanks for telling me that my dad's brother is my uncle i had absolutely no idea
and hey! uncle hobi won't tell a soul! besides u wouldnt survive a day as me without inside help
okay
also i wouldnt have said yes to thjs without him saying that there was still a possibiltiy that things
might work out between our dads
Kook
... if u say so
anywaysss
Tae
Kook
WHY?
Tae
Kook
Tae?
Taehyung?
what happened???
Tae
dear lord the pictures dont do justice to how hot he looks wtf u cpuld have given me a wsrning
he looks like he stepped out of the pages of vogue? i think i might be a lil in love?
Kook
DUDE
Tae
i mean i never expected to see a man pull off pastel colours so well wtf
but he looks so good in that baby pink turtleneck and with those glasses on his nose like damn
Kook
ha
Tae
so stay in ur lane
Kook
i see
wait -
Tae
oh shit u rite
sry
aboet abort
Kook
what happened?
not again
fuck y do drama club ppl hve 2 be so goddmn dramatic all the fckn time
i am outta here
**
TaeTae
Uncle hobi
hey
its tae
idk like i just got into the car and he gave me this huge hug (nothing on dad's) and then proceeded
to talk to me
like yeah he thinks i am kook but he's so... nice?
idk why but ever since i figured out that i had a twin and that my other father was this rich ass
chaebol i kinda always pictured him as a k-drama villain? u know cold and unforgiving and totally
emotionless
cause he left dad and all and he never once tried to reach out to us
and i partly said yes because i wanted my assumptions to be right and be proven that dad was better
off alone
Uncle Hobi
Hey TaeTae!!!
And like I said, I don't exactly know what happened in between because one second they were all
we're gonna grow old together loving each other even when we're wrinkly and pruny and then
suddenly he was taking kook and moving out, leaving behind your father to pick up the pieces
i say ‘was’ because i am still pissed at him... slightly for what he did to Joon, for what he did to my
brother, but if I am gonna be unbiased and honest with you, he was the most un-chaebol like
person I ever knew
TaeTae
ah
maybe prank him nd make his life living hell for a while but now
when i am eating the food he's cooked (and its so good?) and listening to him crack silly jokes
trying to get me to smile and looking at me like I mean the world to him, idk anymore
You can come back if you want? Tell jin-hyung you left something back at camp and turn around
I'll bring kook over too and you can switch back with no one any wiser
i can only imagine how scary it would be to have your world pulled out from under your feet in a
day and then go home with a dad you didn't even know existed for 12 yrs
TaeTae
hmm... but then I'll regret this forever right? the chance to have gotten to know my other dad?
I'll manage
and... maybe... just maybe.. we'll be able to find a way to bring back dad's dimples in full force
i want to see him smile again without a trace of pain in his eyes
Uncle Hobi
You know I am really proud of you right kiddo? i love you tae <3
You have grown up into such an amazing teen and we're both so proud of you
TaeTae
Uncle Hobi
Uncle Hobi
<3
TaeTae
**
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
see!!!
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
lol yeah
Namjoonie
Yes he does!... he looks so grown up and... I swear he's gonna be a heartthrob like Jin...
Hoseokie-hyung
ur allowed to fall
Hoseokie-hyung
Joonie
so go enjoy
so there's that
Namjoonie
Hyung -
Hoseokie-hyung
No Joon
Namjoonie
well then you can finish up work sooner, see him and then leave
No buts
Go have fun
Namjoonie
Okay hyung
Have I ever told you you're the best? Because you are
Thank you
<3
Hoseokie-hyung
and go get ur work done fast so that you can leave early
<3
**
Kook
hes like the fckn sun? so bright? too smiley for eleven in the afternoon?
Tae
lol yeah
its always like a whirlwind where he is
Kook
i can see
like i shd be used to this considering how my dad never stops either
Tae
Kook
Tae
what happened?
Kook
well they started blasting ice cream cake, that rv song ya kno, in the diner, and he just got up and
twrked?
like wtf?
hes still twerking and making all those weird faces and i dunno if i shld pretend i dont kno him or
laugh at how dumb he looks?
SHIT aajdjdnmdn
Tae
Kook?
hello??? okay i am gonna assume u just got dragged into the dancing lol
Kook
he just let go of me
save me Tae
pls
i beg u
hes got this manical glint in his eye nd i dont like it one bit
I WAS JOKING
Tae
it's bwtter than ur dad challenging a few street dancers for a dance off and then slut dropping in the
middle of the street like wtf even
and so shameless
Kook
thank god the manager kicked us out lol since it was gettibg too crowded
Tae
after tripping over ur own feet and drenching ur crush with banana milk
Kook
what
how do u kno
wtf
no no no
Tae
Kook
listne
Tae
“listne”
Kook
fuck u
gaggle of girls?
Tae
lmao
ur so adorable
Kook
pls tae
dont do this to me
i am ur only brother
Tae
hmm... i dont kno if i can be brothers with someone who works out for FOUR FCKN HOURS
EVERYDAY
werent u listening when i told u my goal in this life is to become a puddle of flesh
Kook
oops?
Tae
argh
now i hve to step foot into that evil place called the gym
Kook
Tae
Kook
bye?
Tae
Kook
Tae
Kook
Tae
Kook
Tae
fuck yeah!
i am so glad, i would hve had to disown if u werent and that would hve made me sad :(
Kook
DAMN
Kook
yeah?
u havent?
(thank you? its too huge sometimes and too empty tho)
Tae
thats it?
THATS IT?
(IFKR i try to dance or sing like Taeyang and end up embarassing myself)
Kook
ew
Tae!!
thats sad :(
Tae
(same tho, taeyang's voice... aaafdnvdfnvk that song gives me the chills)
Kook
wtf do u mean ofc u arent gonna ask ur dad i am getting us both tickets
(same damn)
Tae
Kook
it makes me feel bad that i had everything i wanted while u never got what u wanted
i mean for all that could have happened we could have been switched and u would hve had all this
Tae
r u done?
Kook
Tae?
Tae
listen i know how we were pretty eager to do this switch thingy but i need u to know right now that
i would never give up my life that easily
ik that we're like dirt poor compared to u so when u see my house its gonna be like barely one tenth
of urs and without really much luxury and stuff
but thing is its ours, mine, everyrhing and everyone i love is there
thats where i spent days cuddling up with my dad who worked and works himself to his bone just
so tht i can get everything i want, just to make me happy without thinking abt himself for even a
second
we may not have money but hes given me more precious currency - hes given me so much love tht
i hve never wanted anything more
Kook
Tae
Tae
and yeah maybe i like bb and i want to go to their concert but i would take being pulled into a hug
by my dad at the end of the day over anything else
any day
and if u think u cant handle that then i am gonna need to ask u to come back to camp
we'll switch
because i wont stand while my dsd gets hurt because of something u did
and he'll take every word u say to heart and berate himself for being a terrible father
even if ur my brother
Kook
i am sorry tae
i really am
i promise u that
Tae
and i kno why u said the things u did, but trust me when i say that hes the best dad i could have
ever asked for
Kook
im sorry
Tae
its alright
Kook
**
Kook
HOW could u?
Tae
huh?
Kook
hes RM now
and diddnt I show u a pic of my dad and also he’s ur dads laptop bg?
Kook
I didn't realize it was the same person ok rm looked like a fckn nerd in the pic I have and besides
he had sunglasses on plus the pixels were pathetic
UR FUCKN DAD
Tae
Kook
OFC I DO
gods i have even sneaked out a few times to attend the underground rap battles he takes part in
Tae
...wow
pls dont ask him for an autograph and ruin our cover
Kook
fuck
hes gone to change from his work clothes and goddamit HES GOT DIMPLES?!
that badass rapper on stage and hes got adorable dimples and the brightest fckn smile and the
warmest hugs
like he walked thru the door and my dumb ass still hasnt processed evrything and he dives in
straight for a hug and i felt so safe?
;_;
Tae
hes amazing
Kook
Tae
rapping is his passion and hes damn good at it but he doesnt get paid much for it
i mean if it was just dad and uncle hobi i think they would have managed
Kook
hey
hes ur dad
this is gonna sound so stupid but i am so glad we both had amazing parents, who managed to take
care of us so well all alone and made us feel so loved
Tae
i am happy too
ur dad seems like an awesome person tpo and i wish i just knew what happened along the way
Kook
Tae
<3
Kook
<3
DNCJVKFMMEKE
Tae
Kook?
Kook
WTF TAE
oh thats tannie
my baby ;_;
Kook
u said tannie lives on ur bed and is soft and u hug him to sleep so i assumed he's, like
a pillow or sth
ur uncle just told me hes called yeontan and fuck yeah i approve
hes adorable?
hes so cute!!!!
anxnnfnfnfnmvkvk
Tae
Kook
y is he so cute?
*clutches heart*
shit
Tae
what happened
Kook
what do i do tae!!
Tae
oh shit
Kook
ur telling me ur father, the guy with an iq of 148, is gonna fall for that
srsly?
Tae
Kook
wait
we're safe
sigh
Tae
thank god
Kook
idk
Tae
Kook
Tae
hmm
Kook
whats it?
Tae
but this...
Kook
Tae
he doesnt drink
he deserves it
Kook
Tae
hes awesome
Kook
IKR
Tae
its so soft?
Kook
Tae
:(
oh i am sry kookie
we generally push together the beds in their room and sleep that way
Kook
and so warm
Tae
it is!!!
Kook
hmm
Kook
Tae
WHAT?
Kook
idk uncle hobi kept mentioning this other guy and i think he blushed?
Tae
well i dont think its anythung major otherwise he would have told me
that is, u
Kook
um...i would do it
Tae
Kook
huh?
Tae
**
Kook
Mission V?
Tae
Kook
Tae
Classy
Tae
oh shit
its fine
Coconut head
Wtf
Tae
Uncle Hobi
hey boys!
Tae
uncle Hobi!!!!!!
Uncle Hobi
TaeTae!!!!!!
Tae
yeah!!!
Uncle Hobi
Joon's date?
wtf
Coconut head
Uncle Hobi
oh that XD
theres no date
Tae
what?
Coconut head
A RAP BATTLE
SJXNCJFJDMDKRJR
TAKE ME PLS
Y DIDNT U TELL ME
Uncle Hobi
Jungkook?
Tae
he idolises dad
but ah, well kookie said dad was dressed up so we assumed he was going on a date
Uncle Hobi
dear lord, no
Coconut head
:(
Tae
:((((
Uncle Hobi
Tae
pls
Coconut head
pls
Uncle Hobi
Coconut head
:(((
Tae
Uncle Hobi!!!
Coconut head
by 1cm
Uncle hobi
boys...
fine
Tae
yaasssss
Uncle Hobi
Tae
Uncle Hobi
Tae
that reminds me
How do we look?
Coconut head
my bro is so hot
Tae
Coconut head
Uncle Hobi
like how?
**
TaeTae
Uncle Hobi
its just that i am so pissed that ur dad is a train wreck, so exhausted and barely alive and jin-hyung
looks just like he was all those yrs ago
argh
TaeTae
yeah i get u
Uncle Hobi
ur right
sigh
I'll apologize
TaeTae
he's got us
love you
<3
Uncle Hobi
**
Mission V
Uncle Hobi
sry kook
Coconut head
Tae
awww
kookie <3
Coconut head
TaeTae <3
Uncle Hobi
damn
Coconut head
Tae
r u at the venue?
Uncle Hobi
but yeah
Coconut head
FUCK
LOOK AT HIM
Tae
lol
Uncle Hobi
glad to be of service
its so cute
Tae
hes adorable
Uncle Hobi
Coconut head
Tae
ur biased lol
Coconut head
THEY TIED?!
I DEMAND A RE BATTLE
HOW CAN THE CROWD DO THIS
INJUSTIE I SY
Tae
what XD
Uncle Hobi
they both got cheered on equally loudly so the mc just gave up lol
Tae
Uncle Hobi
yeah he is
so good
totally good
Coconut head
no he wasnt
Tae
lol ur cute XD
**
TaeTae
hows he honestly
Uncle Hobi
TaeTae
YAS
Uncle Hobi
TaeTae
awww
:')
Uncle Hobi
he looks so happy?
and so alive
TaeTae
so glad too
Chapter End Notes
Tae
Kook
surprisingly well
Tae
Kook
like the math teacher in the first period asked me why i look so nervous
but ya my classmates are generally very chill when it comes to this kind of stuff
Kook
theyre so nice…
Tae
u know how tiny my school is lol everyones known each other since we were kids
we’ve done a shitton of dishonest stuff together but its all for fun
i dressed up as a girl for 2 months to pretend to be minghao’s gf so that his stalker fans will leave
him alone
i went ‘swimming’ with lucas every day for the whole summer except he went to a net café to play
games and i actually went swimming
i brought his swim trunks with me and made sure its wet and smells like chlorine
Kook
are u sure??
i feel so bad……..
Tae
its just after school since his fans are from another school
Kook
Tae
well they collectively pranked me once by telling me that lisa’s soul is connected with a dandelion
in the schoolyard
and when all the seeds on the dandelion are blown away she dies
they were rly sorry and its not rly their fault, they cant predict the weather, but
if they could play with my feelings like that we can play with theirs too
Kook
Tae
i was EIGHT
Kook
Tae
anyway just trust me on this lol they wont be mad if they find out
when the truth gets out i can finally introduce u to them as kookie, my baby brother
Kook
Tae
i think its just bc ur school is huge so ppl aer less likely to know each other
AND
SPEAKING OF JIMIN!!!!!
Kook
Tae
Kook
becuz u spent the whole ytd night teasing me that ur gonna just go up t ojimin and tell him hes
cute?????
Tae
but anyway!!!!!
(btw ur totally right its very easy to tell its him he’s very radiant and sooooo cute)
Kook
RIGHT????
tae ur school is nice and stuff but i kinda miss seeing jimin :((((
Tae
Kook
Tae
WHAT
bc ur me
and im shy
Tae
well, actually
i didn’t have to
HE talked to ME today
Kook
WHAAAAAAAATTTTTT
Tae
Kook
Tae
or maybe he is, but that’s not the reason he drops his erasers
Kook
WHAT
no way
Tae
idk bc ur cute?
Kook
Tae
therefore ur cute
Kook
Tae
he totally did
bc today
and it says!!!
Kook
WHAT
Tae
im not playing with ur feelings omg do u rly think id make this kind of thing up
Kook
he’s jimin
im me
Tae
Kook
Tae
i had to write my answer on the eraser and there was like no space left
Kook
WHY WOULD U
Tae
Kook
Tae
apparently, yes
Kook
WHY IS HE SO CUTE
AAAAAAHHHHH JIMIIIINNNNNNNNNNN
Tae
ya so anyway
“i wanna get ice cream too lets go today after schoool~ ^3^”
so uh, need some recommndations on good ice cream shops near ur school
thx kook
Kook
WTF
KIM TAHEYTNG
did u manage to achieve what ive dreamed of doing for 2 yrs in the span of 1 history class
Tae
yes?
honestly u could’ve just asked and he’d prob go with u, he’s rly nice
Kook
Tae
Kook
:((
Tae
ok ill tell jimin to get it
so it’d be like the 2 of u are sharing an ice cream and indirectly kissing
Kook
**
Tae
guess what
Kook
AAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Tae
Kook
asafklajhfaafhafkl;afhajkl
Tae
i guess ur not ok
**
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
hi jungkook!
it’s jiminie~
it was nice to go out for ice cream & boba once in a while
my parents are never home so it does get lonely after school :((
“Jungkook”
oh no
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
yay!!
i used to be a little scared of u, because u always wear headphones and never talk
i had to spend the whole summer hyping myself up before i had the guts to initiate conversation ><
“Jungkook”
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
ahahahha it’s just a habit i developed from watching too much anime
**
Tae
kookie…
Kook
what
u sound sad
why u sad?
Tae
Kook
omg no :(
why?
Tae
Kook
Tae
no im being serious ok
i guess im the one worried about playing with ppl’s feelings now…
Kook
oh
u mean jimin? :(
Tae
ugh we should have taken this into consiuderatuion when we were planning the switch
why didn’t we take this into consireatuion
Kook
bc we decided u would pretend to be shy like me and not talk to anyone in my school………….
Tae
i tried…
he rly did approach me first i didn’t want to start trouble either im so sorry kook
Kook
oh im not blaming u
im not
Tae
are u?
Kook
spiderman? no im not
Tae
i feel so guilty
and he has my (ur) number now so i keep getting texts from him :(
its so hard pretending to be friendly all the while knowing im not who he thinks i am
Kook
Tae
so its not like he’s pouring his heart out to me or anythuing but STILL
Kook
u said u cant tell ur friends the truth bc everyone knows everyone in ur town
so uh maybe……..
u tell him
the truth?
he’ll prob hate us but at least we wont have to keep feeling guiltier and guiltier
Tae
several times today bc jimin is so easy to talk to, it rly makes me want to tell him all my deepest
darkest secrets
Kook
no? he doesn’t have to know?
say ur pretending to be me
but ur a naturally friendly person and feel lonely in the new school
Tae
Kook
Tae
Kook
Tae
that’s u with ur big nose and heart eyes for park jimin
Kook
Tae
well id say our noses are roughly the same size since we’re identical
Tae
ok ok u win
but im still the cooler out of us 2 bc i took a selfie with park jimin and u didn’t
Kook
Yoongi hyung
namjoon, I know we dont really know each other all that well apart from that other day at the rap
battle and after (which was fun btw)
but do you know some place which my broke ass can occupy in a short period of time?
Namjoon
It was really fun hyung, it’s been such a long time since I have spoken to somebody who loves
music like it’s their life
I'll give you the owner's number and maybe you can find out?
Yoongi hyung
:(
Why though?
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
Hyunggg tell me
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
...
Maybe a little?
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
:)
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
:(
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
oooohhh
Yoongi hyung
:(((
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
my ex
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
bad divorce
Yoongi hyung
...
Namjoon
Yoongi hyung
i see
(also, I spoke to the owner of the apt and she's happy to give it to me
she says I can move in by next week)
Namjoon
...
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
Yoongi hyung
...
Namjoon
Tell me whyyyyy
Yoongi hyung
no
Namjoon
:(
:(((((
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
:)
Yoongi hyung
Namjoon
lol
uwu
Squishy hyung
shut up brat
Namjoon
T_T
Squishy hyung
yeah
and i swear that weird hole in my shirt must have been the rats
... but that could explain why there was cotton in my mouth today morning
Namjoon
WHAT
You
its decided
done
settled :)
Squishy hyung
Namjoon no
Namjoon
namjoon yes
Squishy hyung
... joon
Namjoon
nuh uh
Squishy hyung
Namjoon
am not
ghjukkmwaqxg
Squishy hyung
joon?
Namjoon?
Namjoon
Squishy hyung
who's this
where's namjoon?
Namjoon
Squishy hyung
this is min yoongi and if you don't tell me why you're on namjoon's phone rn i promise I'll hunt you
down and burn you
Namjoon
uwu
Squishy hyung
...
Namjoon
lol no yoongi-ssi
that big baby tried dragging out the inflatable bed on his own and stumbled into the couch lol
Squishy hyung
is he fine??
Namjoon
he's fine
Squishy hyung
Namjoon
wait
i don't mind
Squishy hyung
...
Namjoon
please
Squishy hyung
...okay
thank you
really
Namjoon
no worries :)
Squishy hyung
Namjoon
ofc not!!! :D
Squishy hyung
yeah...
good night
Namjoon
good night :)
***
Tae
Kook
tae wtf
Kook
Tae
"some ppl"
Kook
idk? ig it is
Tae
what if u fall in love with an anaconda thats actually a human but u dont know it when you kiss it
Kook
kim taehyung
what.the.fuck
Tae
jeez
wet blanket
Kook
...
y arent u asleep
Tae
because i am awake
duh
Kook
u know
i am too
Tae
...
ik
but now...
Kook
i get it
i am too
i miss dad
Tae
i miss dad too :(
Kook
Tae
:(
hes as clingy as i am
Kook
i kno lol
Tae
Kook
nah
what
kook what
r u sure
Kook
yeah :(
Tae
ill be back
Kook
Tae?
TaeTae?
hey where r u
Tae
i am sry
i just
Kook
i can do that
Tae
no
he'll be embarassed
nd bad abt it
Kook
i m sry tae
he wont mind
Tae
r u sure
Kook
y wld it be
thanx kook
srsly
Kook
Tae
Kook
:l
haha
Tae
thank u kookie
<3
Kook
now go sleep
Tae
gd night guk!
***
Kook
TAE WAKE UP
tae
kim tae
kim taehyung
Tae
i m not talking to u
Kook
yyyyyy
Tae
Kook
huh
wot did u do
Tae
Kook
i m disowning u
ur ded to me
Kook
low blow
Tae
well i woke up
becoz i thot thats what all sons who love their dads do on sundays
Kook
oh shit
Tae
Kook
u dont need to kno when ur dads THE KIM SEOKJIN, food connoisseur and owner of one of the
biggest restaurants in all of seoul
Tae
:l
checked my temp
tucked me in aggressively
that i needed to talk to the therapist becoz he doesnt want somwthing to scar md for lyfe
Kook
...oops?
Tae
y is he like this
Kook
hes overprotective
just tell him u leaent how to cook in camp nd u wanted to show him u lovd him or smth like that
Tae
u think thatll work
Kook
dw
Tae
hmm
Kook
hes...dads
Tae
oh
can i ask y?
Kook
Tae
dont be
his family doesnt really care all thaf much for him
Tae
what happened
Kook
idk tae
i wish i knew
rly
Tae
Kook
***
Jungkook
hey
um yoongi-ssi?
this is tae?
Yoongi-ssi (?)
Jungkook
i am tae
Yoongi-ssi
Jungkook
b ther soon
Yoongi-ssi
Jungkook
Yoongi-ssi
hmm
Jungkook
Yoongi-ssi
what
Jungkook
I am fifteen?
Yoongi-ssi
Jungkook
wtf yeah
Yoongi-ssi
yah brat
Jungkook
u started it
Yoongi-ssi
Yoongi-ssi
idk
Jungkook
i am his son!!!
Yoongi-ssi
wtf
Jungkook
u didnt kno
Yoongi-ssi
Jungkook
hes my dad
Yoongi-ssi
one, dont call me dude again
ever
Jungkook
Yoongi-ssi
jesus chill
now a kid
what next
Jungkook
uh...mebe?
Yoongi-ssi
sigh
Jungkook
almost there
Yoongi-ssi
he wouldnt have
Jungkook
ooh...youre a fan?
Yoongi-ssi
yeah...
Jungkook
wait...what
what stage
Yoongi-ssi
I am Agust D
Jungkook
ure wot
Yoongi-ssi
U FUCKER
UR RAP SUCKED
ADMIT IT
Lame - D
Jungkook
FITE ME
LIKE WTF DOES 'MAN OR WOMAN ILL TAKE U TO HONG KONG’ MEAN
Lame - D
...
Jungkook
wot
Jungkook
Lame - D
Mission V
Coconut head
this is stupid
Tae
fine fine
Angry nut
Jk
Uncle Hobi
also...
yoongi?
Uncle Hobi
***
Hoseok
Yoongi
Hoseok
Yoongi
ah, Hoseok-ssi
Hoseok
...
Yoongi
he started it!!!!
Hoseok
Jesus christ
***
Mission V
Tae
fess up
Uncle Hobi
Jk
Tae
Uncle Hobi
...
i feel so attacked rn
i regret life
Jk
ull regret much more when dad learns u brought me to the rap battle :)
Tae
thats my bro
Jk
Uncle Hobi :)
Uncle Hobi
jesus
Tae
now spill
Uncle Hobi
argh
Jk
no?
Uncle Hobi
thats fair
Tae
Uncle Hobi
Jk
Uncle Hobi
it is lol
Tae
jesus christ
theyre so dumb
and in love
Jk
i second that
Uncle Hobi
Tae
wot
Jk
Tae
now i am scared
Jk
Tae
Jk
srsly
it wasnt lame?
Tae
Jk
come on
lee minho
Tae
Jk
...
Uncle Hobi?
Uncle Hobi
sigh
Tae
not a chamce
Uncle Hobi
so
joon was the last one standing our side (would u believe it lol)
except...
Jk
and
Tae
AND
Jk
Uncle Hobi
yeah so jin turned and joon fell for his beauty right there
Tae
hes hot
Jk
Tae
and then
Uncle Hobi
(he mostky did joons who r we kidding because my dumb brother kept breaking them all)
Jk
Tae
Jk
Tae
lmao
wanna see?
Uncle Hobi
Jk
tae no
pls
Tae
too late
uwu
Uncle Hobi
damn right he is
lol
Uncle Hobi
Tae
Uncle Hobi
ur a menace
I am proud <3
Tae
:D
<3
Jk
u cant jst spring things likd that on me dnd exotsct me not to raact do u wnst me to sie
Uncle Hobi
wow
i have never seen so many typos in one single line before lol
Tae
same
Jk
*live
i meant LIVE
Tae
Jk
Namjin?
Tae
Uncle Hobi
Tae
anywyas go on
Jk
ah i get it now
Uncle Hobi
Tae
Jk
Uncle Hobi
forgive me joon
Tae
Jk
Jk
y r u pourinh it on me?!
Tae
Jk
Tae
Uncle Hobi
nope
Jk
thank god
Uncle Hobi
Tae
y is he such a klutz
Jk
sigh
Uncle Hobi
yeah XD
Tae
Uncle Hobi
ur right
but if you want to know what happened exactly you'll have to ask one of them because i really can't
help you there boys
Jk
Tae
yeah
ur the best!!!
but wait
Jk
pls tell me u do
Uncle Hobi
i might
gimme a sec
look at them
Jk
Uncle Hobi
Tae
Jk
wow
just wow
Uncle Hobi
Tae
Uncle Hobi
so so much
Tae
i cant
Jk
but i can see that they were happy at least as long as they were togther
Uncle Hobi
i am happy guys
really
Tae
we want u to be happier!!!
<3
Jk
yeah!!!
Uncle Hobi
Tae
Jk
lobe u <3
***
Jungkook
Lame - D
lol
‘phase’ he says
Jungkook
... deal
...
wots urs
Yoongi-ssi
Jungkook
...
Jungkook
yeah?
***
Yoongles
Old man
I’m offended
Yoongles
...
Old man
Yoongles
I thought you said he didnt have friends
Old man
And the kid is absolutely adorable, you should see his cheeks damn
Yoongles
see
Old man
Yoongles
Old man
hmm...
Yoongles
Huh?
Old man
Trust me
It'll pour :)
Yoongles
:l
hahaha
Old man
Yoongles
Old man
WHAT
Yoongles
Old man
What nonsense
Old man
...
...
Yoongles
Old man
Who is it????
Is he hot? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yoongles
Old man
Yoongles
seriously!
Old man
Fine fine
Give me a name
Yoongles
... No
Old man
Whyyyyy _
Yoongles
because the last time I told you I liked a girl, she bailed out on our second date because
SOMEBODY told her I had a mommy kink
Old man
Yoongles
and...
the time before that, my boyfriend mysteriously managed to get a job out of seoul two days after
we had gotten together
Old man
Yoongles
Okay I get it
...
I just wanted to make sure you didn't have your heart broken yoongi-yah
I’m sorry
Yoongles
aish hyung
I know
it's alright
I'll be alright
Old man
And I promise I'll tell you about him...my ex.. one day
Yoongles
Old man
Yoongles
<3
***
Kook
TAE REPLY
KIM TAEFUCK
Tae
Kook
wot
Tae
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Kook
WTF
WOT R U DOING
WHERE R U
Tae
in ur room ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Kook
WOT
WOT
U WOULDNT
Tae
lol
ur so easy to trigger
hold ur horses
Kook
...
Tae
lol yeah
Kook
oH YEAH
long short story he doesnt have a place to sty so hes staying with us for a week and it turns out I
KNOW HIM
we r so screwed
Tae
what
we can do this
Kook
not rly
thats it
Tae
Kook
wtf tae
Tae
u can do this!!!
just be extra af
Kook
Tae
good good
keep me updated
Kook
KIM TAEHYUNG
Uncle Hobi
Kookie
no problem
what u guys up to
Uncle Hobi
booked a nice day trip to the beach for him and Yoongi-hyung
and for myself of course, I’m here too so I can spy on them for ya
Kookie
omg
be a thing???????
Uncle Hobi
asdgadgahlafj;la
they look so happy!!!
Uncle Hobi
like, i know we all kinda have hopes that Jin-hyung and Joon can still get back together but
well
tbh
so…
Kookie
Uncle Hobi
yea sorry
I keep forgetting this is a whole new life, whole new expereince for you
Kookie
aren’t u gonna join them?
Uncle Hobi
nah
I’m just sitting here on the shore under an umbrella watching them have fun lol
Kookie
Uncle Hobi
Kookie
Uncle Hobi
take a guess~
***
Kook
like all i know is that he disappears in the morning and is always there when i get home
Tae
mysterious man
he acts like an open book but he can actually be hard to read lol
Kook
for example
my dad’s bff
Tae
Kook
uncle hobi took him & dad to the beach and is now gazing at them from afar like a creep
and said that yoongi guy (my dad’s bff) has a cute gummy smile
Tae
not gonna brag or anything but lisa and i are our schools best matchmaker duo
Kook
its complicated
ur dad (dad joon, not dad jin) and yoongi-ssi are like
kinda
ooh
yeah…
while dad joon’s brother who lives in the same house is pining after dad jin’s bff
Kook
Tae
Kook
WHAT DOES JIMINIE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING OMG LEAVE HIM OUT OF THIS
Tae
ok lol
but we forgot that its been a long time and theyre both ppl with feeligs
they cant just sit around waiting for each other forever
Kook
ya :(
u and i are the only 2 ppl who even wanted them back together
maybe they themselves don’t even want to be together
he’s selfless :(
we’re selfish :(
Tae
and u
and there’s no other way to do this unless they get back together
:(
i just wanna
share a room with u and blast gd all night and play pranks on our dads
and u can tell me all about ur crush and i can matchmake for u
and u can help me practice my skits and buy me striped dart frogs
Kook
make up for all those yrs where we didn’t get to properly be a good brother
…wait why is ur definition of a good brother someone who could buy u striped dart frogs
Tae
why not
Kook
just ask dad jin lol im sure he’ll be happy to get u some striped dart frogs
***
dad
can i
Dad Jin
What??
I ate frogs
Dad Jin
oh :(
cute beady eyes, big big pouch thing under the chin
Dad Jin
Eh it’s nothing
what
Dad Jin
Heavens no
Like crabs…
Beetles
Frogs
Dad Jin
Just forget it
dad
im 15
its ok
Dad Jin
dad…
u can count on us
Dad Jin
Who’s ‘us’
Dad Jin
Sounds cute
ok dad
love u
Dad Jin
<3
***
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
hey
“Jungkook”
yo wassup
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
nothing!! ^^
i just thought
is everything ok?
“Jungkook”
im fine lol
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
are u sure?
i wont push u
“Jungkook”
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
ok i
its ok if u hate me
i totally understand
its my idea
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
huh?
aren’t u jungkook?
“Jungkook”
im not
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
oh
“Jungkook”
im sorry
i can explain
after i explain feel free to block me all u want but pls let me explain first
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
u seemed different to me
but i couldn’t figure out how a different person could look and sound exactly like Jungkook
“Jungkook”
wait what??
u suspected????
how???
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
kinda
and then after the summer u came back with a deep purple soul
“Jungkook”
jiminie
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
haha its not that big a deal, chill lol
“Jungkook”
ur so cool
u can be on tv
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
no thanks lol
i have to like
“Jungkook”
oh
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
omg
OMG
OMG JIMINIE
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
omg oops
this is embarrassing
“Jungkook”
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
hahhahaha i wont
will be ur wingman!!!!
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
but anyway this is amazing and all is all right with the world
i’ll help u
i promise
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
how did u end up here and where did the real jungkook go?
“Jungkook”
got sidetracked
“omg we identical”
yeah, he seemed pretty nice when i was over at ur place last week
“Jungkook”
ya
pls know that even tho i was lying about being Jungkook
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
im not mad
“Jungkook”
u should be mad
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
lol its ok
since i had been suspecting something was up all the way anyway
and i can tell u honestly have a kind heart and no malicious intent
ur so easy to talk to, i bet it wouldn’t have been easy if it were Jungkook haha
“Jungkook”
he’s just a shy baby ok
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
i know >w<
“Jungkook”
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
“Jungkook”
of course lol
to swap places effectively we have to tell each other about our classmates haha
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
such a cutie
oh wait
i need a name
“Jungkook”
im taehyung
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
taehyung
somehow gushing about ur crush just doesn’t sound as good without tacking the name of ur best
friend somewhere in the sentence
Taetae
im so honored
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
yes in case u haven’t noticed ppl in our school don’t exactly go around making friends its all about
#studying
Taetae
here goes
***
Taetae
say hi~
Kookie
omg wtf
Jiminie
hello?
Kookie
uh
Taetae
its ok kook
Kookie
Jiminie
lmao what
Taetae
Kookie
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
dnckcmfxncnvkh
WAAAAHHHH
...
ME?
TaeTae
suddenly i am scared
and jesus pls dont start with the insecure oblivious pining
**
Kook
kill me Tae
rn
pls
and finally
Tae
...
wow
also idiots
**
Jiminie ( *ˊᵕˋ) *
u dont get it
i-
TaeTae
how tf even
**
Kook
hes an angel
and i am but a mere mortal
Tae
...
**
VMINKOOK
TaeTae
okay
STOP TEXTING ME AND DIRECTKY TEXT EACH OTHER UR LOVEY DOVEY SHIT AND
INSECURITIES
Jiminie
...
Kookie
...
TaeTae
now i get y the pining couple in all chatfics generly have different frnds
Kookie
what?!
TAE?!
I-
Jiminie
Kookie
Jiminie
hmm
Kookie
wot
OF COURSE NOT
Jiminie
ah
wait
no
JIMIN
Jiminie
u like me?
Kookie
yeah
i like like u
Jiminie
Kookie
Jiminie
hehe
i hve liked u ever since the first day u helped me pick up my books after some random asshole
shoved me down
Kookie
Jiminie
so cute (♥ω♥ ) ~♪
Kookie
Jiminie
so...boyfriends?
Kookie
already?
Jiminie
lmao true
so
boyfriends
aaah :)
i promise <3
Jiminie
ur so cute uwu
and soft
Kookie
...only for u
Jiminie
Kookie
Jiminie
ofc idiot XD
but first
Jiminie changed chat name from VMINKOOK to JiKook + Tae
Kookie
Jiminie
Kookie
dnxjfnekdmfnnf
Jiminie
kookie?
bby?
Kookie
Jiminie
ooh :)
Kookie
...
TaeTae
OK THATS ENOUGH
JEEZ
Jiminie
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
TaeTae
also park jimin, u sly fucker, dont think i didnt notice the chat name change
Kookie
bro
TaeTae
bro
Kookie
i love u bro
TaeTae
TaeTae
♪\(*^▽^*)/\(*^▽^*)/
**
10:52 p.m. how cold is it too cold to sleep in an inflatable bed – Google Search
10:55 p.m. is inflatable bed bad for your back – Google Search
10:58 p.m. Decorate A House And We’ll Accurately Predict Your Love Life This Year –
Buzzfeed.com
11:00 p.m. 17 Facts That Prove Dogs Are Better Than People – Buzzfeed.com
**
Hoseokie-hyung
Joon
Namjoonie
Hmm
Not sure
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
Ok then
I totally understand
No matter how nice the person is, it’s always a bit of a hassle to have one more person under your
roof
Hoseokie-hyung
goodness namjoon no
Namjoonie
You sure that’s all?
I know you can be a bit strict about keeping the place exactly as you like it
Hoseokie-hyung
how many times do i have to say i don’t mind for you to believe me???
Namjoonie
You sure?
Hoseokie-hyung
figure out when its safe to start walking around the house naked again and stuff
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
A little
Goodness I already told him so many times that its ok to have a soft tummy and he should be proud
of it and flaunt it
Hoseokie-hyung
and if you’re feeling like shit pls come to me instead of inviting random ppl home
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
asdgfhsfklagf i don’t!!!
namjoon
pls don’t think that i’ll have anything against it because i don’t
Namjoonie
Well…
About that...
The thing is
But
Hoseokie-hyung
but???
Namjoonie
I don’t know
Maybe I’m just projecting my loneliness onto him and thinking we might be good together
But maybe it’s all my imagination and I don’t even like him that way?
Idk this definitely feels a lot different from when I first met Jin
Hoseokie-hyung
and go sleep
Namjoonie
Ok
Hoseokie-hyung
Yoongi hyung
hey hobi
Hope
wassup
Yoongi hyung
nothing
just wondering
Hope
Yoongi hyung
cool
Hope
Yoongi hyung
Yoongi hyung
Hobi
Yoongi hyung
Hobi
Yoongi hyung
it is
Hope
i don’t!!!
we’re cool, and I don’t have anything against you staying here
Yoongi hyung
good then
i’d be sad if all that was fake and you actually want me gone :/
Hope
Yoongi hyung
cool
I kinda knew you brought me to all those places bc they’re close to namjoon’s company and we
could pick him up together after he’s done with work
so you’re just making sure your brother wouldn’t die slaving over excel files and would actually
come out and breathe
Hope
Yoongi hyung
Hope
Yoongi hyung
I’m what?
I’m what?
I’m what?
hellooooooo
11:15 p.m. How to Tell Someone They Are Beautiful: 9 Steps (with Pictures) | WikiHow
11:16 p.m. what do you do when you like someone but they may or may not get together with your
brother – Google Search
11:17 p.m. omg hoseok look at my collection of sand cat pics – hobihobi@mail.com – Mail
**
Kookie
hey um
Uncle Hobi
hey kook!!
whats up
Kookie
Uncle Hobi
Kookie
Uncle Hobi
you’re cool
yuio\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
**
Hope
as i was sayin
you’re dazzling
cool af
Yoongi hyung
but hey i’d be lying if i say i don’t find you pretty hot as well
Hope
AFGHJLAREJ;JRSRJARJHAKRKHAERHAH
Yoongi hyung
wait, what?
Hope
NO WAIT I MEAN
SHIT
Yoongi hyung
Hope
asdffghdajgaklfdj;laakfaeryraehaj
**
11:23 p.m. where are some cliffs i can jump off – Google Search
11:24 p.m. World's most thrilling cliff diving spots - USA Today
11:25 p.m. 20 Amazing Cliffs around the World | CNN Travel - CNN.com
**
Tae
KOOKIE!!!!!!
Kook
oh hey
what news
Tae
ok ok
jiminie just called
said his parents are going on this trip to the maldives for work stuff on the long weekend
they’ll feel bad about leaving him at home but at the same time
they don’t want him hanging out with them bc it ruins their couple time
Kook
Tae
and they ofc don’t want him just hanging out on the beach alone lol
Kook
Tae
Kook
Tae
Kook
omg >A<
let me just
Tae
Kook
Tae
when u guys are doing lovey dovey stuff ill just go snorkeling~
Kook
omg i just
im so happy ><
Tae
Kook
oh um
i saw yoongi
u know, dad jin’s best friend, dad joon’s potential new bf, uncle hobi’s crush
that guy
i…
idk
and since yoongi-ssi freelances and who knows what uncle hobi does
when im at school and dad joon’s at work the 2 of them prob hang out together all the time?
Tae
yikes
does he know
Kook
im also not sure if he even likes yoongi-ssi in that way but again, tbh i cant be sure
Tae
damn
Kook
of course i will
i promise
**
Hope
Yoongi hyung
no?
Hope
ah
Yoongi hyung
work place?
Hope
Yoongi hyung
give me ten
Hope
ah hyungggg
its fine
seriously
Yoongi hyung
Hope
hyung...
Yoongi hyung
...
Hope
okay
i was
i am sorry :(
it's just
Yoongi hyung
dont worry
**
DadJoon
Jungkook
...dad?
DadJoon
Jungkook
DadJoon
But both Hobi and you seem to forget that I am not fragile
Jungkook
dad, ur scaring me
whats wrong
where are u?
r u still at work?
its late
DadJoon
I am fine TaeTae
Don't worry
But seriously, did you know that your uncle Hobi used to be a fuckboy back in college?
And even after uni he used to party a lot with his work colleagues
But he stopped all of that the moment I got divorced
Jungkook
he chose u
DadJoon
He had just received the position of the dance choreographer at one of the topmost companies that
morning
By the time I found the letter in shreds in the dustbin a week later, he had already sent them an
emailing declining it
Jungkook
dad
DadJoon
from him
Jungkook
i am serious
DadJoon
I love you
Jungkook
DadJoon
I know kiddo
Now go sleep
Jungkook
good night
**
Uncle Hoseokkie
kook
did your dad text you
Kookster
dad jin?
no?
Uncle Hoseokkie
no I meant Joonie
Kookster
y uncle hobi
Uncle Hoseokkie
jesus
Kookster
oh shit
Uncle Hoseokkie
fuck
Kookster
...
we shld tell tae
Uncle Hoseokkie
he'll panic
Kookster
he probs knows
...
Uncle Hoseokkie
ur right
fine
**
Mission V
Uncle Hobi
tae?
Tae
Jk
we dont kno where he is and uncle hobi and yg are searching for him
Tae
what
fuck
Uncle Hobi
Im sorry Tae
I really am
we're trying our best but we're running out of places and I was kinda hoping u would know
Tae
Uncle Hobi
no?
Tae
he'll be there
Jk
tae...
Uncle Hobi
I told Yoongi
**
Kook
tae...
i m sry
Tae
what
FUCK
how
Kook
he texted me at 11.15?
Tae
...
Kook
tae say smth
pls
but idk
and i am sry
Tae
im not pissed...
its
theres a song he wrote a few yrs back on one of his walks there
reflection
Kook
i am too tae
or...
if u want
Tae
that
idk
maybe we shuld
**
Yoongi
writing lyrics
jesus
Jungkook
ah
is he sad?
Yoongi
yeah he is
Jungkook
okay
**
Kook
he was there
Tae
...
and kook can u promise me u'll keep an eye on him for now
pls
Kook
Tae
Kook
yeah
**
Yoongi hyung
Hobi?
Hope
I am sorry ><
Yoongi hyung
not really
can't sleep?
Hope
...yeah
Yoongi hyung
Hope
yes hyung!
Tae latched onto joon the moment he walked in and doesnt look like he'll let go any moment :)
Yoongi hyung
Hope
how can I be angry with him when all he wanted was to be alone
he doesnt need to tell me where hes going or what hes doing all the time
Yoongi hyung
Hope
he's never closed himself off like this before and its killing me
Yoongi hyung
got to have valid reasons that probably involve not worrying you or hurting you
he's the guy who has the most rational head upon his shoulders
just trust that if things become more than he thinks he can handle, he'll come to you
Hope
its not because he finds me too overbearing or that he suddenly... doesnt like me anymore?
Yoongi hyung
jesus hobi where did you even get such a ridiculous idea from
he was miserable when he saw how bad you looked when we found him
and he pulled me aside while you were changing to thank me for coming with you
that he hadnt meant to do it and that he would talk to you abt it tomorrow
but that he seriously needed some time to get away from the thoughts in his head and that hes fine
now
so much so that i actually envy the bond the two of you have
Hope
...
seriously
for everything - for coming with me, for reassuring me, for just being here
Yoongi hyung
aish, shut up
now go sleep
Hope
hmm..
Its hard to sleep now without cuddling joon and tae ><
and its almost dawn so I'll just get about with preparing breakfast
Yoongi hyung
Hope
hyunggg
OMG ur so softt
Yoongi hyung
Hope
Yoongi hyung
also hobi
who was the guy in the photo Namjoon was holding in his hand when we found him?
Hope
his ex-husband
Yoongi hyung
fuck
**
Jiminie
hey kookie
we… um
Kookie
um wait what?
jiminie???
Jiminie
um it was just
Kookie
omg no no no jimin no
don’t apologize!!!
it would be so amazing!!!!!
Jiminie
Kookie
um we’re fine
just
yeah
Jiminie
oh dear
Kookie
wish i could
Jiminie
Kookie
lolololol pls
we cant do that!
if this dad and that dad see both me and tae at the same time
we’d be EXPOSED
Jiminie
Kookie
um this dad and that dad will have to meet under the circumstances…
Jiminie
Kookie
thank u
so surreal
Jiminie
ur talking to me
and i like u
whats more
u can know for sure that i don’t only love u for ur good looks but also ur personality
bc if i only like u bc u look good, i’d have fallen for taetae as well, right?
but i didn’t
so
Kookie
Jiminie
and u always buy charity cookies from those special needs kids who sell them???
Kookie
Jiminie
Kookie
ok haha ><
Jiminie
don’t get me wrong tho im not saying i don’t like taetae’s personality
still, if someone ever dares hurt him i’d place poisoned icecubes in their soda
Kookie
he’s been with this dad a lot longer than me, he might be affected more
Jiminie
on it
**
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
i called ur boss already, said u cant go to work bc there’s this ginormous spider outside the door
and no one can leave the house bc we all have acute arachnophobia
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
it is to ur boss
just u and me
Namjoonie
Oh
Hoseokie-hyung
how long has it been since we last spent some quality brother bonding time?
Namjoonie
so it always looks like he’s just playing on his ipad when he’s actually working
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
Oh interpretation huh
Sounds cool
It’s always kinda funny to me how badass rapper Agust D can in fact dress up in suits and interpret
at formal occasions
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
Haha
Hoseokie-hyung
yeah bills
yoongi-hyung says he’s got this interpretation gig for some old clients
also his clients are rich af so they told him he could bring family or friends
Namjoonie
Wow
Hoseokie-hyung
he’s prob not old enough to be a friend of yoongi-hyung’s but he can pretend to be his family
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
anyway
stop texting me
get dressed
otter café
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
Jaehwannie
Jin?
Jinnie
Jaehwannnnn
Jaehwannie
Good good
Wbu?
Jinnie
Terrible urgh
ISTG one day I’m just going to randomly fire everyone who works for me
The chef is having an affair with one of the waiters while the receptionist keeps flirting with all the
customers
And they keep playing either sappy love songs or break up songs
Jaehwannie
And you say that but you would rather shut down the restaurant than fire one of them lol
Jinnie
... True
But still
Jaehwannie
How's Kook??
Jinnie
Growing up (╥﹏╥)
Jaehwannie
Jinnie
Jaehwannie
Jinnie
I. LOVED. IT
\( ̄▽ ̄)/
So proud of you!!!
Jaehwannie
And well Yoongi came out and I like expected him to knock out his teeth or smth
Or like you know, strangle him with the aux cord he was carrying and I was preparing myself to
help him bury the body
Or more like Namjoon kinda hugged him and lifted him off his feet while Yoongi gave him that
Im-gonna-act-like-I-hate-this-when-I-secretly-love-it look
Jinnie
... Oh
Jaehwannie
I’m so sorry Jinnie I didn't mean to stir trouble but I just wanted to make sure you didn't get hurt
again
Because I know how fiercely protective of you Yoongi is and how much you care about him
Which means that either you haven't told him (and I am hoping it's this) or
Jinnie
Namjoon's probably the friend whose house Yoongi's staying at now then
I really am
Jaehwannie
And let's be fair even if we crossed all that Kook wouldn't have let me marry you XD
Jinnie
Jaehwannie
Please jin XD
Made all the business graphs into pie charts of common kinks
Included excerpts from the Kama Sutra as case studies
Jinnie
... Oops?
And I had no idea that was why he was asking to use your laptop I’m sorry
Jaehwannie
Sigh
I wouldn't have wanted you to even come to a position where you would consider breaking his
heart in order to be with me
Jinnie
Jaehwannie
<3
Jinnie
<3
Jaehwannie
***
[ Saved as Draft ]
From: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
To: lejindary@hotmail.com
CC/BCC:
Jinnie,
It would probably make more sense to call you or text you, wouldn't it? But then you know how
much of a stubborn idiot I am so I won't. I have been thinking about you a lot these days. I don't
even know why. But that's not why I am mailing you. I know why I am thinking about you and it's
because of Tae. Because he pours his milk before cereal, groans at my dad jokes like he's heard too
many of them before, doesn't give out hugs too freely and hasn't been walking around the house
naked. And I wanted to know if Jungkook's been doing things differently too. Like if he makes his
own bed and tries his best to keep the house clean even though you have servants for it. If he's
suddenly too interested in wildlife, paints a lot, talks a lot and made you kimchi fried rice that
tastes like our childhood. I need to know if that's happened to you too or if it's just me missing you
and projecting on him. I wish we could turn back time and change everything. I wish we could
***
[ Saved as draft ]
From: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
To: lejindary@hotmail.com
CC/BCC:
Sub: I think our kids know more than they're letting on
Seokjin hyung,
Lately I have had a feeling that Taehyung isn’t being himself. And that he knows more than he's
letting on. Weird vibes you would call it. I wanted to know if Jungkook has been like that too, so
that I can figure out whether I’m being a good parent or a terrible one who can't even identify if the
kid with him is the one he brought up for fifteen years. Whether we made a mistake all those years
back. I still love you, you know. And I miss you. Let me know.
Namjoon
***
[ Sent ]
From: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
To: lejindary@hotmail.com
CC/BCC:
Mr. Kim,
This email is regarding the abnormal behaviour exhibited by my progeny, Kim Taehyung, recently.
Wondering if yours is indulging in such behaviour too.
Sincerely,
Kim Namjoon
***
[ Inbox ]
From: lejindary@hotmail.com
To: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
CC/BCC:
Mr. Namjoon,
I am highly offended by your slander of my pure child's character by calling him a freak. Just
because yours is one gives you no right to call my perfect golden Jungkook so too. Kindly refrain
from sending me such emails in the future.
Kim Seokjin
***
[ Sent ]
From: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
To: lejindary@hotmail.com
CC/BCC:
Seokjin-ssi
Did you just call MY adorable, sweet, angelic son a freak? My TaeTae might be different from
other children but that DOES NOT make him a freak. Kindly refrain from throwing around
accusations like a five-year-old. It isn't becoming of a businessman.
Namjoon
***
[ Inbox ]
From: lejindary@hotmail.com
To: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
CC/BCC:
Yah Namjoon you were the one who implied my Gukkie was a freak first!!! Yeah he is a freak on
the football field but only I am allowed to call him that! Also who's acting like a five year old you
pretentious ass? You were the one who interrupted my peaceful, relaxing afternoon face care
routine with your nonsense.
***
[ Sent ]
From: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
To: lejindary@hotmail.com
CC/BCC:
Oh, so now it's all my fault huh? Funny how everything is always my fault, Jin hyung. I'll let you
go back to your RELAXING face care routine because obviously that is more important than the
well being of our kids.
***
[ Saved as draft ]
From: lejindary@hotmail.com
To: rapster.nam@yahoo.com
CC/BCC:
Sub: re: re: re: re: re: Regarding Abnormal Behavior of Offspring
Oh fuck I didn't mean it that way Joonie, come on. What happened back then was on both of us
you numbskull. This - fuck it. I'll just call you.
***
Old man
Hello Yoongi
Yoongles
Old man
Yoongles
...
Old man
Yoongles
Yoongles
the only noise I can hear is my roommate's horrible snoring thats shaking the entire house
Old man
Do you know what a little birdie told me just now, Min Yoongi? :)
Yoongles
those smiley faces have so much passive aggressive energy to them its scary
Old man
Everyone else is an 8
Yoongles
I swear Jungkook was the one who brought the stray dog home that knocked it over
Old man
That was YOU?
I been knew
Yoongles
Old man
What cuteness?
Yoongles
but wait...
it wasnt that?
fuck
Old man
Nope
...
Old man
Do you know how embarrassing it was when the barbie theme song started playing while I was
discussing a possible expansion with a willing investor???
And to think YOU were the one who was behind that
I trusted you
Yoongles
... fuck
Old man
And the only reason it was fine was because my investor had a good sense of humor and wasn't a
crabby old 80 yr old
Wow
JuSt WoW
Yoongles
ew wtf hyung
for the last time, I am NOT YOUR KID
Old man
Yoongles
thank god
Old man
Yoongles
...
Old man
Besides I’m pretty sure my ex would be happy to formally adopt you anyway
And maybe you would like that seeing how cuddly you have become with him
Yoongles
hyung I
Old man
You knew?
Wow
Yoongles
Hyung...
Old man
You know I didnt really believe Jaehwan when he said he saw the two of you walking out of your
studio
Plus I heard a few other things this evening which confirmed stuff
Yoongles
Hyung I just learned about this myself like fifteen hours ago
when I caught him with a pic of you in his hand nd then asked hoseok
and i have like been holed up in my studio since then trying to process stuff
or hurt you
i promise hyung
i am sorry
Old man
considering you swore you would murder my ex and dump his body in the han river if you ever
saw him
Yoongles
Old man
But I must state here that in the event of you getting caught I won't bail you out
and jesus christ I can't believe you're still willing to murder Joon
Yoongles
hes not
and the only reason I would even consider not killing him is because I dont want tae giving me
those puppy eyes which will result in me making some terrible decision like adopting him
Old man
He's not?????
also you do realise that I would be more than happy to take in Tae in the event of something
happening to Joonie assuming hes still a minor
we weren't going to let our idiocy get in the way of our kids
Yoongles
jokes aside, if me being around him makes you uncomfortable (I haven't told him ur my frnd btw),
just tell me
Old man
Yoongles
Old man
Yoongles
Old man
okay... and?
...
Old man
Yoongles
i think so hyung
like every time I see his heart shaped smile I just want to kiss him
Old man
Reminds me of someone I’ve never met again after the divorce but used to think would be a great
brother-in-law
Would this certain somebody happen to be a dancer who really knows how to use his hips
Yoongles
... maybe?
Old man
And would his name happen to start with the letters H O and end with S E O K ?
Yoongles
yes
Old man
Yoongles
if i couldnt literally feel the disappointment through the message I wpuld have reminded you that
you didnt raise me
Old man
Yoongles
keep telling urself that lol
but srsly
what do i do hyung
Old man
I’m sorry to say that but Hobi would NEVER do anything if he thinks it would hurt his brother
Yoongles
ur right
with you
with him
with hobi
i cant believe your ex fell in love with me and i fell in love with his brother and I am staying with
them and telling you about it
Old man
He deserves to move on
Trust me
Yoongles
and the way he was holding onto that picture of you the other day when I spotted him
and I srsly do not know what happened between the two of you and I didnt ask because its none of
my business
Old man
...
and if ur right
idk
I guess I should?
Honestly
And for being there for me
Yoongles
hyung
urgh
And thank you so much for being beside me all this while, holding my hand each time I fuck up
I couldn't have asked for more and I dont deserve somekne like you
Old man
Aww
I will, hyung
soon
or maybe tonight
Old man
Hmm... I will
Yoongles
I will hyung
<3
Old man
<333
***
Jin
So… hey
Sorry, I haven’t texted this number for ages so just wanna be sure
Joon
Yeah
It’s me
Jin
Anyway
It’s been a long time but I’m glad you’re doing well
Joon
Jin
Joon
I couldn’t find the proper words for it during the call but
I know you went through a lot these years too
Jin
Joon
Was grasping at any excuse I could find just so I could talk to you again
Taetae’s weird behavior wasn’t even that weird now that I was thinking about it
And he was at camp for two months, of course he’d come back a little different
Jin
Oh I totally understand
Same situation here lol. Kook went to camp too and now he’s all grown up
My shy little bean, making friends at school left and right, imagine that
I used to worry that I was overbearing and that was why he couldn’t make friends
Joon
Jin
He is!!
One of his friends’ parents even invited him (and me!!) on a trip to a five-star resort
Joon
Wow that’s rly nice
Jin
Um I
Uh
Joon
Huh?
Oh
I’m way over that stage where I was sensitive over anything that involves money ok
You don’t have to walk over eggshells when mentioning rich people stuff
Jin
Joon
Ok maybe it did kind of affect me that me not being rich enough for your family was the reason we
divorced
Jin
But wait
Yeah my aunts and uncles were being stupid and loud about money stuff but who cares about them
True they were my guardians after my parents were gone but that was like for 1 yr or something
Ignore those shitty relatives who wont mind their own businesses
Joon
I loved you
Maybe I still do
Jin
Oh so if you think you can decide what’s “best for me” then you’re gravely wrong
Go wash that stupid egg-shaped head of yours and let that sink in
Joon
Egg-shaped head…
Hyung you wound me
But oh god hyung if that was what you’ve been thinking for all these yrs
Jin
Why didn’t YOU just tell ME about the talk my idiot relatives gave you?
And brought you to a mcdonalds or something and roasted you while eating mcflurries because
you’re “too poor to go to a highbrow restaurant” or some shit
Joon
Jin
Same thing
Ugh
Tell me Joon
Joon
Jin
Just
I don’t know
Joon
Jin
Yes, a very good egg
Joon
Jin
I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be thinking about but I know I need to think
Joon
It’s ok hyung
and what a coincidence lol I’m gonna go to a resort this weekend as well
Jin
Sounds good
Joon
Jin
I just know
Joon
Sure thing
Good night, hyung
Jin
But same
Night, Joon
**
Lame – D
hey tae
Jungkook
oh look it’s lame-d
Lame – D
shut up
anyway
and you didn’t like me for being better at rapping than your dad or whatever reason
Jungkook
Lame – D
ok ok whatever
anyway
Jungkook
Lame – D
for science
Jungkook
Lame – D
Jungkook
why?
Lame – D
aggressively endeared?
Jungkook
Lame – D
“oh you wanna kiss me huh? kiss me then you pretty big baby”
“you think my brain is as tiny as yours??? you think I already forgot huh??? no I didn’t forget, you
little fuzzy drooling peach”
“AAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaAAaaaAAAAh”
Jungkook
i see
tannie thinks ppl have pea-sized brains and forget about feeding him 3 secs after doing it
Lame – D
good then
Jungkook
or should i say
bet ur also glad he’s not having kinky sex with someone other than u
Lame – D
Jungkook
admit it lol
Lame – D
back in my time
I’ll have you know that while kinky sex can be a plus
I just want to cherish him and take him on cute dates and cuddle
and adopt another dog so that we can each have a dog standing on our chest or whatever
Jungkook
ur so whipped
u know what
Lame – D
Jungkook
Lame – D
wouldn’t it be a bit like I’m stealing your dad’s brother from him
Jungkook
dude ur overthinking
if u get together
instead
Lame – D
I’d need some time to get used to it if I had a new brother show up out of nowhere
Jungkook
that’s what i thought too but it could be surprisingly easy depending on the brother
as long as u promise to be the best brother to my dad i don’t have anything against u 2 getting
together
Lame – D
haha so…
Jungkook
who’s jungkook?
Lame – D
Jungkook
looks-wise or personality-wise
Lame – D
looks-wise I think
Jungkook
how do u know he’s not just hiding the snarkiness under the surface
anyway
Lame – D
thanks
Jungkook
no problem lol
**
[JiKook + Tae]
Kookie
guys!!!!!!!!!
i have
news
Jiminie
hi kookie <33333
aaaaa im jealous
Jiminie
of me? of him?
Kookie
of the bed
anyway!!!!
Jiminie
course i rmb u told me all about it while facetiming me with ur shirt off
Kookie
Jiminie
guys just because i wasn’t talking doesn’t mean im not reading this conversation thru jiminie’s
phone -tae
Kookie
Jiminie
isn’t it ironic for u to say that when u 2 confused me in the first place -jiminie
Kookie
Jiminie
sorry jiminie we love u :(( yeah im gonna go get my phone now -tae
Kookie
when u told me ur listening to a song called ‘answer: love myself” i didn’t expect u to take it this
literally
Jiminie
Kookie
sure thing
basically
Taetae
Kookie
Jiminie
Kookie
Jiminie
i like hands
Kookie
Taetae
Kookie
idk either the surveillance camera i installed on yeontan’s collar before putting him into the room
doesn’t record sound
Taetae
Kookie
Taetae
**
Hope
well
Yoongi hyung
Joon already said he doesn’t mind and is happy for us and so did Tae
Hope
anyway
as your new boyfriend I think it’s my duty to give you some crucial info
Yoongi hyung
Hope
Yoongi hyung
……………
Yoongi hyung
you know I’m friends with Jin-hyung lol I already told you
Hope
ah too bad
poor kid had no chance pulling that scam off in front of someone who knows him well
Yoongi hyung
Hope
cut the kid some slack lol he’s never had any training in acting or anything
Yoongi hyung
lol fine
but you still gotta explain to me how this situation came to be later
(funny thing is I don’t think either of their dads had any idea)
Hope
Yoongi hyung
they’re prob too preoccupied with their jobs and pining over each other to notice
Hope
I’m implying that you don’t have to do the pining part bc I’m all yours now
Hope
it’s just for this season lol I’ll start working again when spring rolls around
Yoongi hyung
yeah I’m glad your job is a seasonal thing because that means you have all the time in the world to
hang out with me <3
Hope
god yes
Yoongi hyung
of course baby
but we need to get Joon and Jin-hyung back together before that
Hope
I know
actually this was why I brought up the kid switch situation in the first place
Yoongi hyung
Hope
Yoongi hyung
Hope
lemme describe him to u according to a pic Tae drew
also, no ears
Yoongi hyung
Hope
Yoongi hyung
ok I won’t
**
Taehyung
hey guys!!!!
Uncle Yoongi
Uncle Hobi
Jungkookie
wtf yoongi-ssi
oops I forgot
haven’t gotten used to the concept that you’re not miles and miles away in the vineyards and are in
fact right here in the next room yet
Jungkookie
apologize to jiminie!!
Jiminie
Uncle Yoongi
even the kind that burrows themselves into ppl’s chests and sprout tentacles?
Jiminie
Uncle Yoongi
Jungkookie
wtf yoongi-ssi
apologize to jiminie!!
Jiminie
Uncle Yoongi
Jungkookie
i hate u
Uncle Yoongi
is that normal?
Taehyung
my theory is that he thinks that if he eats ur toes u wont be able to leave him
Uncle Hobi
this is so beautiful…
Jungkookie
Uncle Yoongi
oh hey Taehyung
Taehyung
im a big fan!!!
Uncle Yoongi
ah why did you two even swap I like this one better than that brat Jungkook
Jungkook
r00d
Taehyung
and maybe help them get back together again bc we know they miss each other!!
since unlike you ppl I’m actually there to interpret for my lawyer clients Mr. and Mrs. Park
Taehyung
Uncle Yoongi
whew I’m glad I didn’t leave a bad impression on the son then
Jungkook
Uncle Yoongi
Jiminie
also my parents wont need u around all the time, just for their one speech
Uncle Yoongi
you know, for a kid who isn’t connected to either dad, you rly are quite eager to help
Jiminie
also seokjin-ssi is always super nice to me when i visit taetae at his house
i wanna help
Jungkook
Jiminie
Uncle Hobi
wait what you have a boyfriend? how come you never told me
Uncle Yoongi
Uncle Hobi
oh sorry we just got together an hour ago I haven’t gotten used to this title yet
Taehyung
Project NAMJIN
Taehyung
hey losers
u here yet?
hello
hello
helooo
SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
otherwise ur ded
Uncle Hobi
Yoongi noooo
Taehyung
yeah yooniieeeee
jddnndjrnene
Uncle Yoongi
eť tu Hobi
and thats it
Jiminie
hes been like this ever since he saw the prices of all the items in the room delivwry menu
Uncle Hobi
why though
I mean
wait
dnxjejenennds
Jungkookie
and the best part is that he didnt even notice that because hes too busy staring at the menu with
tears in his eyes
Jiminie
Jungkookie
Jiminie <333
Uncle Yoongi
and cute
...
you know what I am going to order that and see why its priced that way
capitalism
evwrywhete
Jiminie
did we break him too?
Jungkookie
lol i think so
Jiminie
yeah we did!
Jungkookie
Jiminie
hve u settled in
Jungkookie
yeah we hve!
me and dad joon are sharing a room while yoonseok r sharing one hehe
i was wondering if u guys could somehow persuade dad jin to come there too
Taehyung
Jiminie
Jungkookie
...
okay
wait
if I’m the quartermaster and jiminie is the first mate, then what r u
Taehyung
duh
Uncle Yoongi
i approve
Taehyung
Jungkookie
ouch
I take back everything I said about Taehyung being nicer than you
...
Taehyung
obv
i hope his phone is not broken from being dropped into the fish tank
@uncle hobi
@uncle hobi
@uncle hobi
Uncle Hobi
yes TaeTae
u called?
Taehyung
scroll up
Uncle Hobi
Uncle Yoongi
hobi why
Uncle Hobi
Taehyung
Deckboy
...
***
Project NAMJIN
Captain
okay so we are waiting to board the boat that'll take us to the shark cage
Quartermaster
but you havent seen our president 'Kim Namjoon' yet, have you
First Mate
#thisiswhyweneednamjin
Deckboy
u better hope for the safety of all ur lives that the plan works
Captain
Quartermaster
and honestly the picture would look much better if not for the gremlin in it
Captain
well said
Deckboy
Quartermaster
because u want to have kinky sex with our uncle duh
Deckboy
wjat
junhkook
JEON JEONGGUK
First Mate
Deckboy
oh sry wrong au
Sailing master
Deckboy
Sailing master
Captain
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Quartermaster
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
First Mate
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Deckboy
...
urgh but I'll put up with it because u kids are sweet even if ur brats
First mate
Deckboy
First mate
Sailing master
awww
also wait
First mate
YOU'RE THE FOOD TOUR GUIDE who took us to that italian restaurant five yrs ago and then
booked out of there like there were zombies chasing you because you saw a lizard on the wall
right?
***
Tae
Kook
ikr!
Tae
Kook
Tae
Kook
r u sure tho
Tae
...
fair point
***
Sailing master
Sailing master
because he helped make sure there were no lizards in the hotel room i stayed that night
First Mate
<3
I would let you except that would make me and kookie cousins :(
Sailing master
oh right :(((
Captain
wow that's some cute shit but can we focus on the mission at hand
Quartermaster
alrdy done
uncles yg nd hobi went into the cabin acting like they’re seasick
Deckboy
Captain
First Mate
Okay im gonna tell him I feel sea sick and meet u guys down
***
Tae
Kook
Tae
... yeah
i get u
Tae
but... what if they had an actual reason for staying apart kookie ?
Kook
and I can tell dad jin that we need to go back for smth or smth
and uncle yg
Tae
but urgh
Kook
Tae
yeah i do
in fate
yeah
Kook
i dont think ill be able to live life thinking abt the what ifs
Tae
same
fuck
Kook
i do too brother
i do too
Tae
will do
***
Project NAMJIN
First Mate
Code red
code red
Quartermaster
First Mate
Uncle Jin just dragged tae with him into the water
Deckboy
oh fuck
where r u rn?
First Mate
leaning against the railing in the pretext of getting air and watching them
Deckboy
hobi wants me to tell you that since tae is a better actor than kook, he should be fine
and I agree with him
Quartermaster
Deckboy
First Mate
Sailing master
First Mate
Uncle Hobi!!!!
Sailing master
but go on
give us the tea
Deckboy
yes go on
First Mate
he looks like he wants to join them in the water and bop noses with them
Quartermaster
he should be fine
Deckboy
Quartermaster
it isnt?
IT ISNT??
First Mate
why are you guys even texting each other when youre like standing together
...
fuck fuck
Quartermaster
First Mate
sndndjjendneje
Sailing master
WHAT HAPPENED
First Mate
okay okay so
so
so
Quartermaster
Sailing master
... wow
Deckboy
Jungkook snapped
First Mate
I would be offended
okay so
there was this huge shark and it kinda rammed into the cage
and uncle jin just sonic-ed into uncle joons arms (he looks super hot irl btw)
and uncle joon just grabbed onto him like it was the most natural thing?
lookie
Quartermaster
#Namjinfalyfe
#Namjinlives
#Iamahappyman
#Icandieinpeace
FUCKING FINALLY
Sailing master
Deckboy
ab vot vryung
wjeres jae
Quartermaster
...
Sailing master
Deckboy
First Mate
anyways yeah
idk but it looks like hes singing the little mermaid theme song lol
OKDNDNNDD
OKAY SO UNCLE JIN JUST BURIED HIS FACE IN UNCLE JOONS CHEST?
AND UNCLE JOON IS STROKING HIS HAIR WITH SUCH A FOND LOOK ON HIS FACE?
Deckboy
suddenly my crops are growing, my pores are clear and my depression is gone
life is great
Quartermaster
FUCK YEAH
Sailing master
I am not crying
totally not
Deckboy
sure babe
First Mate
...
this is awkward
oh fuck
Deckboy
shit
Quartermaster
is he sick again?
Deckboy
yeah
First Mate
Quartermaster
hes so torn
First Mate
"oh but thats kook, hes wearing a waterproof gucci watch, see"
THIS IS BAD
Deckboy
Sailing master
okay thats it
jin better be gone by the time I make it up or I am shoving him into the water
Quartermaster
"so are you telling me I wouldnt be able to get my son gucci watches?"
First Mate
Quartermaster
"Save it Jin hyung, and maybe I am too proud to take your money like you said but that doesnt
mean I have deprived my son of anything he wanted. If my son had asked me for smth I wouldnt
have hesitated to get him what he wanted even if that meant I had to work four jobs"
Deckboy
i hve no idea but if we dont want our covers to be blown i gotta step in cause tae looks close to
walking over to dad joon nd hugging him
First Mate
but dad jin looks like he rly wants to say smth but hes keeping quiet
Quartermaster
okay minie just went out all sunshine and rainbows and bowed to dad joon before all but dragging
tae and dad jin to the boat
fuck
Deckboy
be there in a minute
...
until then
Quartermaster
but fuck
Old man
Min Yoongi
We need to talk
Yoongles
interpreting
Old man
Fine
**
Yoongi hyung
help me hobi
he and Namjoon were somehow on the same island, same resort, in the same fucking shark cage
Hope
Yoongi hyung
(kinda slacking off tho since the people they’re talking to appear to be fluent in Korean)
(jiminie’s parents don’t rly seem to need me so I’m just mooching around texting)
(they’re pretty rude no lie, idk how they managed to raise jiminie to become an angel bc neither of
them are angelic)
Hope
cool
Yoongi hyung
no wonder you were so quiet all of a sudden back in the cabin, thought you were just dizzy
I didn’t do anything
we gotta communicate
hello???
hello????
hello?????
Hope
Yoongi hyung
lies
Hope
ok excuse me for not being all happy happy when my baby brother is crying in his five-star suite
bathroom
Yoongi hyung
I’m not happy about that either omg why are you blaming me
well you’re the one who’s best friends with THAT guy
who apparently hasn’t learned after all these years that money is a SENSITIVE TOPIC
Yoongi hyung
just observing a fact like “I bought that watch so of course I know that’s my kid”
it just happened to be a gucci watch, it could very well be a 10-dollar watch he got at the flea
market and he’d still say the same thing
Hope
Yoongi hyung
this is like when I was in third grade and i said I had ferrets and a classmate started crying because
he wanted ferrets but didn’t have any and I was rubbing the fact in his face
Hope
your ~best friend~ KNOWS that Joon loves ferrets and STILL brought it up
Yoongi hyung
Hope
Yoongi hyung
Hope
not this
never this
Yoongi hyung
but tell me
the kid who cried over my ferrets became one of my best friends
as long as they’re both willing to work towards an understanding, it can still work out
but I also know for a fact that my best friend is a good guy
I had a fever that day on our way home and he gave me his coat and was so gentle with me
please, trust me
Hope
Yoongi hyung
Hope
like herpes
Yoongi hyung
Hope
Yoongi hyung
Hope
it’s embarrassing
Yoongi hyung
thank goodness I didn’t say something along the lines of ‘I invited my friend over to my house to
touch my ferrets’ (which I actually did)
Hope
oh my god hyung the ferrets look so soft I can’t stop staring at the pics
Yoongi hyung
no more fighting?
Hope
yeah haha
I care a lot
Joon is so important to me
Kook is in the bathroom with Joon rn and I’m assuming the other 2 are with Jin-hyung
Yoongi hyung
if they were Jin-hyung would have just interrogated them instead of texting me, right?
Hope
Joon seems to think it’s a coincidence and nothing to do with the kids
meanwhile Jin-hyung knows that you’re a mutual friend of both of them so he suspects you
Yoongi hyung
Jin-hyung would prob have to explain to Taehyung (whom he still thinks is Kookie) what that
whole shark cage thing was about
like who Namjoon was and why he thought Taehyung was his son
Hope
true true
Yoongi hyung
I can’t wait to get off work so that I can get back to the suite and kiss you
**
Project NAMJIN
Deckboy
(btw no offense jiminie but your parents sure talk a lot when drunk)
First Mate
Deckboy
First Mate
Deckboy
First Mate
SEE
Quartermaster
um im reporting in
he prob doesn’t think uncle hobi and uncle yoongi know either
as far as he’s concerned all we saw was him sprinting towards us holding in tears
First Mate
Quartermaster
First Mate
well unfortunately jin-ssi suspects yoongi-ssi is behind all this so he won’t stay innocent for long
he doesnt know he’s on this island yet but this place is TINY, we’re prob gonna run into each other
soon
Deckboy
First Mate
oh wait
wait
oh wow
Deckboy
oh wow?
Captain
Deckboy
Sailing Master
Deckboy
Captain
um so
“kook I bet ur wondering who that man who called u his son was, huh? well i owe u an
explanation”
so like the good son I was I opened my jungkook eyes wide and listened
Quartermaster
First Mate
Quartermaster
Deckboy
Captain
“ok so a long time ago, that man and i, we were happily married
but a witch thought i was too handsome and put a curse upon us
if we continued to stay together, our twins will prick their fingers on a sewing machine and die
so we parted ways
so he mistook u as him
for the safety of u and ur twin, we must leave the island as soon as possible”
Sailing Master
Deckboy
Quartermaster
Deckboy
SEE
Sailing Master
Captain
so he was like packing and stuff, i knew he wanted to fly home like right away
everything
including how uncle yoongi and uncle hobi had sex on an inflatable bed
Deckboy
Captain
Sailing Master
Tae...
I assume you also told him about how much Joon misses him
how much he still cares, and how he’s such an amazing dad
except for the part you told him about us having sex on an inflatable bed
Captain
im so sorry :(
Deckboy
Quartermaster
Deckboy
Quartermaster
First Mate
Sailing Master
Quartermaster
Sailing Master
no one would be happy to know that their kid had been fooling them for months
Deckboy
Captain
Sailing Master
well I guess someone would be happy to know that their kid had been fooling them for months
Deckboy
**
Old man
**
Project NAMJIN
Deckboy
**
Namjoonie
Hey hyung
You should go out and enjoy some resort activities with Yoongi-hyung
I’ll be okay
Hoseokie-hyung
promise
Namjoonie
Like, I always feel my heart jolt when I’m walking on the street and someone with the same
physique comes along from the opposite direction
I don’t know
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
Huh?
Hoseokie-hyung
be honest with me
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
Hoseokie-hyung
Namjoonie
...Yes
God yes
Hoseokie-hyung
Hyung?
**
Dad Jin
Taetae
ya it’s me!
Dad Jin
This whole identity swap thing is still very confusing to me as you can see
Taetae
Dad Jin
Taetae
Dad Jin
Who cares about science if I say you have my DNA then you have my DNA
Taetae
ok i have ur dna
Dad Jin
Taetae
no lol
Dad Jin
Haha
Taetae
Dad Jin
Goodness
That’s terrible
Taetae
i felt so bad...
Dad Jin
Yoongi created chat [hi Namjoon I’m here to complain about your son]
Yoongi
Namjoon
Yoongi
Taehyung
Yoongi
Taehyung
Namjoon
Taehyung
we were snorkeling
Taehyung
Yoongi
yeah
saw this toddler got stung late morning when I was working with the Parks
not fun
Namjoon
Yoongi
**
Project NAMJIN
Sailing Master
ok guys
Captain
aye aye
Deckboy
Sailing Master
cool
I’ve got the yacht arranged
now let’s wait a couple hours for it to simmer and then we act
Deckboy
Captain
Sailing Master
doesn’t it get awkward seeing someone who looks exactly like you kissing ppl
Captain
Deckboy
**
Hoseok
Hello, Seokjin-ssi
Seokjin
No need to be so formal
I know you
You’re the one who had sex on an inflatable bed with Yoongichi
Hoseok
I’m sure you’re aware I don’t like you but this is kind of an emergency and I need your help
Seokjin
Oh wow you tell me you don’t like me and you’re still expecting me to help? Wow the audacity
Hoseok
Please...
My brother got upset earlier and went out for a swim to clear his head
I don’t know what’s going on but they called to say they found him
The resort people are out there with him on a boat and it’s... not good
Seokjin
Hoseok
You can ask the fucking resort personnel, they’ll be coming over to pick you up very soon
Please come
The engine is so loud and I’m so dizzy and I’m fucking scared
Taetae and Kookie are on the yacht already and they’re inconsolable
Please
Seokjin
**
Jungkook
dad
why are u not picking up the call
dad
please
hurry
DadJoon
Anything wrong?
Jungkook
idk we were just coming back from snorkeling and we saw some resort workers yelling about first
aid and getting an ambulance and stuff
turned out some swimmer got stung by a jellyfish? they said it’s a portuguese man-o-war
they’ve got him out of the water and are trying to revive him on a boat out there
and theyre sending a yacht to bring them more emergency supplies and stuff idk
DadJoon
Uh wait
Jungkook
uncle yoongi is crying and im scared, i’ve never seen him cry before
hurry the yacht is leaving soon pls dont leave me alone to deal with a crying uncle yoongi
DadJoon
Goodness
I’m coming
I’m coming
Chapter 15
Chapter Notes
Project NAMJIN
Quartermaster
Sailing master
yep!
me and yoongi hyung are in the tiny room next to the cabin on the yacht!
Deckboy
Sailing master
Did I stutter? :)
Deckboy
Quartermaster
...wow
Sailing master
awww
Deckboy
First Mate
I-
Sailing master
Deckboy
we consider you as much family as those two little brats so don't you ever dare say that again
unless you want a good kicking
Understood?
First Mate
Sailing master
what?
Quartermaster
"thank you so much uncle yoongi and uncle hobi"
Deckboy
First Mate
<3
Sailing master
I would be offended that yoongi sent him a heart when he rarely sends me one if not for the fact
that we have literally adopted jiminie lol
***
Yoongi hyung
<33333
My Hope
huh?
Yoongi hyung
<3
( ・ω-)~♥
”(●´∀`)ノ♡
My Hope
im sorry hobi
My Hope
I know you love me a lot you dont need to send me hearts to prove it
yours <3
Yoongi hyung
once you meet Jin Hyung please dont spend time with him
I dont want you to become any cheesier than you already are
My Hope
r00d
***
Project NAMJIN
Sailing master
Quartermaster
we r in the cabin
First Mate
omg yeah
where is he??
Sailing master
@captain
@captain
@captain
Captain
I am back my laddies
Deckboy
...
Captain
Sailing master
Yoongi!!!
Kook
Tae
maybe?
Kook
Ikr!!!
Tae
Kook
listen
...
wait
Tae
sigh
...
Tae
i promise kookie
<3
Kook
<3
***
Project NAMJIN
Deckboy
...
I am sorry taehyung
Captain
First Mate
what jiminie means to say is thats its dumb and come out before you suffocate and die
Captain
Deckboy
naah
I just dont want you to mess up our plans by being in the wrong place
Captain
I feel so loved
but its okay! the tablecloth is long enough to cover me and there are tiny holes so I can breathe!
Quartermaster
Captain
Quartermaster
Sailing master
quiet, children!!!
he looks worried
Quartermaster
Sailing master
I am an underappreciated genius
Deckboy
excuse me
Sailing master
... babe
Deckboy
oh...
Quartermaster
Quartermaster
dads cursing XD
Deckboy
the disrepecc
Sailing master
oh hush yoongi
Deckboy
...
Captain
Sailing master
No
Deckboy
NO
Captain
also kook
youalive?
First Mate
omg i cant believe that one of the staff just pushed uncle joon in lol
***
Hoseokie hyung
Namjoonie
hyung???
hyung wtf
HOSEOK
***
Project NAMJIN
Sailing master
First Mate
uncle jin tried to help uncle joon except he tripped over a coil of rope and both of them almost fell
overboard
Deckboy
sigh
Quartermaster
Captain
because rn dad joon is trying to talk to him to get him to turn back
Deckboy
Sailing master
idk
Quartermaster
Captain
Sailing master
no thank you
Deckboy
because I rly do
So so much <3
First Mate
I love you too uncle fbf fjend
Sailing master
??
Quartermaster
wait can i just call him RM? all this ‘dad joon’ and ‘dad jin’ stuff this is getting tedious
Captain
Deckboy
huh?
Quartermaster
Captain
I approve
First Mate
Captain
lmao
Quartermaster
Sailing master
Be careful
Captain
wow
Deckboy
... is it wrong if I say that you being all dominating is a bit of a turn on?
Quartermaster
but if you decide we should make out here and our cover gets blown I'll chop your balls off :)))
First Mate
uncle yoongi are you sure that its uncle hobi down there and not uncle Jin?
Deckboy
pretty sure
Sailing master
Quartermaster
OXMFNDNFNR
Sailing master
Captain
YES IT DID XD
This is hilarious I am peeking out from under and dad joon looks like hes contemplating swimming
back to the shore
Quartermaster
but yeah
First Mate
WWH just pulled RM up and dragged a crate from the corner to make a makeshift chair lmao
wait can we change the name WWH reminds me of world war for some reason
Deckboy
just go with RJ
while bugging me
now go on
Captain
"exactly hyung"
"what"
"... I meant you looked rly casual - like new fashion, avant garde and... yeah"
Deckboy
you told me I looked like a sexy potato when we started dating and I came over to your studio
Quartermaster
First Mate
wow looks like I have got the best boyfriend then <3
Captain
“he's so cute”
“and precious”
Deckboy
Quartermaster
and that was the resident mochi tripping into the floor blushing from embarassment
Sailing master
awwww
Captain
ooh scary
anyways let me go on
"They what?!!!"
"Um they swapped? Tae's been living with me all this time and - "
"... I guess that does explain how he suddenly had abs one day and how he could totally pick up
Hobi single handedly?"
"But honestly Namjoon, you have done a better job than me in raising our kid"
"No let me speak joon-ah. taes honestly turned out into such a gem and has such a huge heart and
maybe you should have taken them both with you"
he looks so sad :(
First Mate
Kook's sniffling into my shoulder mumbling about how RJ is such a good dad
and he is!!! :(
Deckboy
URGH
Quartermaster
Captain
First Mate
already on it!
Captain
"hyung, listen to me. I think we both did the best we could with our situations. It's okay. what
matters now is what we do next."
"then we'll spend them together as family, hyung. I know we went separate ways because we
thought it would be better off that way but I cant do this anymore, hyung... i cant forget you or us
and I want to try..."
"so you’re saying we should try again... for two days...and then?"
Sailing master
DONT!
just wait
Quartermaster
they just decided that in case it doesnt work out they'll have us swap houses every week wtf
Deckboy
like they still love the person they loved all those years back
but you have got to remember that both of them changed a lot
I am sorry kid
I want them back together too but them being happy is more important
First Mate
Deckboy
I am coming
Captain
dncjd
hes apologising to RM
owwsn
Sailing master
First Mate
awww
omg ckdndjdnd
Captain
"I thought i was the only one, joon-ah... and I want to try... I really do"
"we'll take this slowly... and not mess up... not like the first time"
"yes... are you hungry?"
"you sap"
Quartermaster
Sailing master
FUCJING FINALLY
I KNEW IT
(HOPEFULLY)
First Mate
awww
Deckboy
you're right
Captain
ffs just admit you want to make out with your bfs and go
its okay
urgh i am bored
no one loves me
I am going to go back to my kingdom under the sea where ppl will finally appreciate me
Sailing master
Tae sweetie
thank you :)
Captain
...
Joon
uh hey hyung
Jin
they were both out seconds after they hit the bed
and same!!!
Joon
uh
You're not mad that they were on the yacht are you?
Jin
naah
And I am proud of hobi and yoongi for managing to make out in such a cramped space lmao
Though it did come as a bit of a shock to me when I saw Jimin kissing Kook lol
Joon
I thought that was Tae and I started panicking because he had never mentioned a guy before even
though I know he's gay and I was like when did my son even meet this guy?!!
Jin
I was wondering when tae and jimin had become more than just friends lol
Joon
tbh money is important but there are other things more important than that
Jin
I am sorry Joon
Ik
Like when my relatives kept looking down on you I was so pissed that I thought that maybe if I
could set up a studio for you they would respect you more
I belittled your dream by offering you money and that was so insensitive of me like I get why you
wanted to break up with me
Joon
And instead just got insecure when you were hanging out with your wealthier cousin on the day of
that last get-together
Jin
You had to take care of the sick twins all on your own while I was off gallivanting with Hyunsik
and the others
Joon
You had every right to be with them when all I had been to you was unpleasant and downright rude
I called you a pampered shit and that was mean because you're one of the most down-to-earth
people I have ever known and I belittled your dream too!
Insulted your dreams of opening a huge restaurant and said that your family name was the only
thing that would make it famous
Which was wrong because today your restaurant chain is the most sought-after in the city and its
because of you and YOUR FOOD
Jin
I’m sorry for saying you would never be able to take care of a kid on your own
Joon
Hyungie I am sorry
Jinnie
oh fuck
Let's just stop saying sorry
the past is in the past and I want our remaining two days to be as happy as today was
Jin
yes joonie
Joon
Jin
so?
It doesn't matter
Joon
All of us
ofc Joonie
Joon
Jin
yeah!
Joon
***
Namjoonie
Hoseokie hyung
Yes joonie?
Namjoonie
Hoseokie hyung
Aish namjoonie why are you thanking me
And I would get you the stars if that was what it took
But tbh it was the boys who did most of the planning and made me see there was a way to make
you happy again
Namjoonie
But still, they wouldn't have been able to do it without your help or approval so thanks for having
faith in me
Right now, I feel lighter than I have felt in ages, more hopeful, and that's thanks to you
Hoseokie hyung
Namjoonie
So no
Hoseokie hyung
Namjoonie
You ask me like you don’t already know lol
But I'll be a nice brother and let it slide because I know you do it out of love
And see where things go over the course of the next two days
Hoseokie hyung
oops?
Namjoonie
But I don't think I'll really know until the next two days are up
We spoke a lot
Cried
It felt cathartic
Hoseokie hyung
And no matter what your decision is, know that I'll be beside you
Namjoonie
I don't think I have ever thanked you for everything you have done for me over the years
And I'll let you get back to Yoongi hyung now before he gets grumpy hehe
Goodnight baby
Also Yoongi hyung says fuck off and that he loves you too
Namjoonie
Tell him I love him too but that I won't hesitate to kick him in the balls if he makes you sad :)
<3
Hoseokie hyung
OMG joon-ah!
<3
***
EatJin's Kim Seokjin Spotted at Luxurious Maldives Five Star Resort with Ex-Husband!
Before you start reading, let me make it clear that this isn't Kidoh the food critic but Kidoh the
fanboy at the laptop, so if you're not here to hear me gush about Kim Seokjin you may leave right
now.
So you know those lame ass trips your family makes you take to see ducks and geese and sand,
claiming they'll help you bond better with your relatives? Yeah, so if you're like me, then you
probably hate those with a passion. I always fake headaches to get out of the outdoor activities.
But this time, yours truly got dragged out of his comfortable duck-feather bed to go kiss sea
pancakes, oops I meant stingrays. Now, I was rightfully pissed, because imagine the injustice of
having to leave the comfort of your air-conditioned room and the full mini-cooler to bond with
slimy sea creatures. But the moment we got there, well, that was when I decided that I would give
my firstborn to my family and praise them till the end of my life.
Because who did I see? My favourite chef, the one and only Kim Seokjin. Yes folks, EatJin's CEO
Kim Seokjin. And to top it all, I saw him in the arms of Kim Namjoon (underground rapper with
illegal dimples and great lyrics anyone?), his ex-husband. Now for those of you who have only
recently started following this blog and do not know of my love for this Worldwide Handsome chef
slash successful CEO slash single father, let me give you a little bit of history. (And if you think I
am being biased... Yes. I am being biased. Now fuck off.)
Close to a decade ago, a couple of years before he opened his first branch of EatJin in Seoul,
Seokjin had been happily married to Kim Namjoon. Or so they say, I wouldn't know. I wasn't their
neighbour or the FBI agent tracking his phone (and mind you I might be wrong because Jin has
always kept his personal life separate from his private and has ALWAYS very charismatically
deflected all my questions throughout these years so I had to depend on the scraps thrown to me by
his staff). And together they adopted two kids. That's right folks, two. Not one kid we know nothing
about. But twins (that's two kids we know nothing about now because surprise surprise Kim
Namjoon kept his son out of his own privileged underground circle too). And then three years later
they got a divorce. End of story.
So now, to spot those two together, years later, laughing like they were in their own world, was
nothing short of astonishing. So being the awesome person that I was I watched them. They were
cute, to be quite honest. Especially when Jin got scared by them nasty sea creatures and ran
straight for Namjoon's chest, refusing to look up, while the rapper held him tight with such an
unbelievably fond look on his face. And not to mention the buggy trip they took that evening with
Jin driving, his ex-husband's hand clasped tightly in his, and the little picnic they had at the top of
hill. What this spells for their relationship I do not know. I don't know if they're getting back
together or if they have decided to stay friends, but what I do know is that I am going to stop here
right now because I intend to catch him tonight before he leaves and at least get a selca, desperate
that I am.
Signing off,
Kidoh
***
Jikook + Tae
TaeTae
im sad guys :(
Jiminie
T_T
Kookie
im scared things will go back to what they were before once we go back
TaeTae
im like what if suddenly our dads think everyrhing was better before this mess
and they are like cool you dont have a brother anymore :(
Jiminie
dancing!
Kookie
I know
I wanna live together with dad joon and hobi and uncle yg and wake up to pet yeontan and
TaeTae
I know kookie :(
I can't imagine life without jiminie or you or dad jin now that I know how it can be
But i don't want to be selfish and force them to be together when they're not ready for it
Jiminie
Kookie
TaeTae
or they managed to add a potion in our food that erases our memories
Jiminie
Tae wtf
Kookie
YOU CAN SEE SOUL COLOURS YIU CANT TELL US MAGIC IS LNT REAL
TaeTae
exactly!
...
Jiminie
i'll be there in 5
Kookie
me too
Jiminie
[Project Namjin]
Taetae
guyyyyyyys
Minmin
Taetae
pretty great
how u been?
Minmin
Kookoo
Hobihobi
awww
my poor ears
Taetae
yeah Namjin are happy now but we gotta keep this chat because
Minmin
Kookoo
Hobihobi
Minmin
Yoonyoon
no way lol
Minmin
Yoonyoon
geez ok fine
Taetae
Yoonyoon
Kookoo
Meow Meow
Hobihobi
Taetae
no reason
Meow Meow
Taetae
look he’s here molding clay while dad joon is on the ground
Meow Meow
Taetae
Hobihobi
Meow Meow
I don’t
Ok fine I do, here’s a screenshot of sim! you aggressively watching Namjoon play the violin
Hobihobi
Minmin
i need attention!!!!
Taetae
Taetae
Taetae
that’s the guy who’s gonna rent an apartment to uncle hobi and uncle yoongi
Kookoo
Hobihobi
it’s not like my room has enough space for 2 and hyung can’t keep sleeping on the floor
Taetae
:(
Hobihobi
but yeah we’ll visit all the time so it’ll be like we never left
also it frees up my room... so when Jin-hyung finally decides to move in with your other dad he can
have a place to sleep as well
Minmin
Hobihobi
hmm, true
Kookoo
Hobihobi
Taetae
Hobihobi
Taetae
but what if the sauna wants to sleep with me, kookie and tannie?
Meow Meow
kid I hate to break it to you but saunas do not have free will
Minmin
but why will jin-ssi and kookie be moving to ur place instead of u guys moving over to jin-ssi’s
place
and vineyards
and an outdoor pool with a waterfall
Hobihobi
the place where Jinnie-hyung is based in doesn’t have an underground rap scene
and Joon works in a fixed location while Jin-hyung has restaurants everywhere so he maintains
them online
besides, Kookie seems to like Taetae’s school better than his own
Minmin
Hobihobi
......
shit
**
Hope
Yoongi hyung
Hope
it’s just that I see the brats as a whole package and completely forgot that Jiminie in fact has
another set of parents and can’t move here
bc they will
Yoongi hyung
they will?
Hope
yeah but I’m also the one who works in the travel industry and can help him create a nice airbnb
post so
he already listed his mansion on airbnb lol he’s not gonna stay in it for much longer anymore
Yoongi hyung
wow
damn they shoulda told me first but yeah makes sense then
Jin-hyung definitely would need your help in writing a decent airbnb description
Hope
exactly omg
I had to tell him like “no hyung you can’t write ‘I’m letting y’all use my beautiful mansion because
I’m moving back in with my hot af ex-husband lol btw here’s his soundcloud account isn’t he
AMAZING’, your potential boarders don’t want to know about this”
Yoongi hyung
like I haven’t interacted with him much but he’s rly sweet, Kookie has good taste
Hope
wish I knew
**
Jiminie
hey taetae
can u promise me
Taetae
anyway
Jiminie
california
my parents got a big case there which might turn into some kind of long-term thing
so we’re moving
Taetae
what????
but jiminie
Jiminie
Taetae
Jiminie
asked our relatives, colleagues, neighbors, even some random dude who’s passing by walking a
dog
we’ll pay u handsomely! and jimin always minds his own business so all u have to do is feed him!
and he’s gonna be off to college in a couple of yrs so u will be rid of him then!!
no one wants me
Taetae
we want u
i mean it
we’ll have a spare room after the uncles move out right?
Jiminie
i dont think ur parents or mine would be too happy to have their son literally live under the same
roof with their boyfriend lol
Taetae
they have 3 bedrooms in their new apartment and they only need 1
and they’re only renting so mr. cumberbatch doesnt let them convert the rest to something else
that’s a lot
Jiminie
um
wow
but i...
Taetae
ok let me clarify
ur not just saying u’d love to live with them to be polite right
Jiminie
of course wtf
like im sure california is a cool place but I’ll be so far away from my bf
of course i want to
Taetae
oh pls
im sitting right next to them anyway and they already know what we’re discussing
hi Jiminie
say no more
but we also want to go on cute couple dates all over the world
Jiminie
u have FERRETS???
Hoseok
yes
Jiminie
Hoseok
exactly
Yoongi
but don’t worry, when we’re not around someone in Tae and kookie’s household will come stay
the night with you lol we can’t let a minor live in our apartment alone
Jiminie
they definitely wont mind lol they like u
they said ur the only interpreter they ever had who could accurately translate their drunk speech
Yoongi
Jiminie
I...
i cant believe it
im so happy... ><
Yoongi
haha now run along and tell your boyfriend the good news, kid
Hoseok
Joon told me today he and Jinnie-hyung’s got something to announce to everyone tonight
Taetae
Yoongi
they’re just prob gonna announce that they’re gonna try again and your whole family is gonna
move in together lol
Hoseok
ya that’s prob it
there’s no point for the 3 of us to all be texting when we’re sitting in the same room
Taetae
jiminie’s gone off to blab to kookie about moving in with u guys lol
but the fact is i had access to kookie’s account and never logged out
so I can see it
Yoongi
what’s nsfw
Taetae
Yoongi
I want to, we translators need to stay up-to-date with the lingo of the youngsters
Taetae
Yoongi
Hoseok
EatJin's CEO Kim Seokjin Exchanges Vows With Ex-Husband, Bighit's Kim Namjoon
Love was in the air yesterday as EatJin's CEO Kim Seokjin got married again to ex-husband and
co-founder of Bighit Entertainment, Kim Namjoon, at a cosy private ceremony in the Myeongdong
Cathedral. It's been a long journey for this celebrity couple to get to where they are right now and
we at The Korea Herald were honoured to have been invited to the ceremony which boasted less
than 50 people in attendance, all of them close to the men of the moment.
The ceremony, which started roughly at around 5.30, saw their sons, Kim Taehyung and Kim
Jungkook as the flower boys along with Park Jimin, a friend, all decked in white and looking
handsome. Kim Hoseok, Namjoon's brother, was his best man while Min Yoongi, co-founder of
recently started Bighit Entertainment along with Namjoon and a close family friend, was Seokjin's.
The vows, original ones, clearly showed the love the couple held for each other, if it wasn't evident
in their gazes. There was music, joy and tears as the boys sang 'Love', a composition by Namjoon
for Seokjin, and then laughter as the newlyweds took to the dancefloor. In the midst of all of that,
Min Yoongi had been spotted twirling a blushing Kim Hoseok. Truly, 'tis the season for love.
The newlyweds were gracious enough to grant us a few moments of their time after the ceremony
ended to answer a few of our questions (and questions which most of the public has, we know), an
excerpt of which is given at the end. We at The Korea Herald wish them a happy married life and
hope they never fall out of love again.
Excerpt
TKH : It's been over a decade since you got a divorce. And yet right now, you're here again.
What changed?
KNJ : *looks fondly at Seokjin* I think we never fell out of love in the first place. And it took us
our sons and their love for us to finally see it for ourselves.
TKH : You keep mentioning your sons' involvement in this? What do you mean?
KSJ : *laughs* I think that's a story for another time, but really, they're the reason we are here.
TKH : It's a pretty huge commitment to get re-married. Are you confident you can make it
work this time around? Especially now that you have two sons to think of?
KSJ : We have always done everything keeping our sons in mind so I hope you aren't implying that
we would do something that would hurt them.
KNJ : And yes, we are aware. Just like we knew staying apart would be better for us all those
years back, now we know that it's time for us to get back together.
TKH : You guys have been the hot topic for quite some time, creating waves with your stance
on violence against youth. Can you tell us more about your partnership with UNICEF? And
the hinted-at UN speech?
KNJ : I don't think that's really a topic we want to touch today. *laughs sheepishly* But we have
always wanted to create a better world for our children and the future generation...
KSJ : Also, we don't really have time to address rumours right now, if you'll excuse us, we have a
lot of guests to greet and a honeymoon to pack for.
TKH : Last question, but could you tell us where you're planning to go for on your
honeymoon?
KSJ : *laughs* We would rather not be stalked by the paparazzi, so we'll have to decline. But
you'll know once we're back. We'll post pictures.
***
Yoongi hyung
Hobi where are the brats? I haven't seen them since Kook tripped Tae and he fell into the cake
Like I normally enjoy seeing him worked up but right now it's annoying because Namjoon is
making out with him to distract him IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING SALAD and I don't want his
moans to be stuck in my head
Do they or do they not want to send their parents off on their honeymoon?
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
when they pull out chairs for each other or call each other cute gross petnames like 'Jooniebug' and
'Jinniebear'
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
I give up
My Hope
lol hyung
Yoongi hyung
OFCN
I am here because I am scared that they'll full on have sex if I leave the car
FUCK
My Hope
...
why is he lugging a black bag with him to the car
and looking around warily like he's scared someone will spot him?
Yoongi hyung
he what?
oh no no no
NO
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
My Hope
but...
Yoongi hyung
My Hope
I mean I think that's what Tae's holding in his hand along with three passports
Yoongi hyung
NO THEY ARENT GOING TO DO THIS
I DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW HOW THEY HAVE TICKETS BUT THEY ARENT GOING
TO MALTA
JOON AND JIN NEED TO BE LEFT ALONE TO GET OUT 12 YEARS WORTH OF SEXUAL
FRUSTRATION
WTF
and while Jiminie is responsible enough the twins will drive him crazy!!!
My Hope
well then I guess they just need a responsible adult to look after them amirite?
Yoongi hyung
... no
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
Urgh fine
I'll do it
Find out where the brats booked hotel tickets and do the same for us
Hopefully Joon and Jin are still decent by tje time I come back
Yoongi hyung
***
Okay - D
Emo Kid
Okay - D
oh cut it out
ur uncle already booked tickets for the two of us too and a room in the same hotel as you guys
so why
Emo Kid
and also because they'll start missing us in like n hour and return back home by the next flight
Okay - D
can do! :)
...
I dont think any of us knows how to check in and check out or get to our hotels hehe
Okay - D
what would you have even said if you were ordering food then lol
wow
Emo Kid
we were hoping you nd uncle hobi would spot us and follow us hehe
if i want them to bring my food together I would have said 'TOGETHER, BAAM'!!!
SEE
Okay - D
wow
sigh
***
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
...
My Hope
what happened?!
Yoongi hyung
Jin hyung just walked into the shop and the twins are missing wtf
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
Tae just randomly picked up a baby in a stroller and is now making cooing noises at it while
Jungkook's using vegetables as weights WTF
at least Jin hyung walked out thank god
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
...
My Hope
Yoongi hyung
EVER
Fuck
My Hope
fuck
Yoongi hyung
Now I gotta go catch my two nephews again before we get permanently banned <3
***
Jikook + Tae
Jiminie
huh?
Kookie
TaeTae
Jiminie
OFc duh
Kookie
hell yeah!
TaeTae
-fin-
Yay!! Thank you so much for making it to the end! (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*: ・゚ I'm really glad what
started as a random idea grew to be this long and I wanna thank my cowriter @s for
being awesome and spicing up the storyline because if it were only me writing it there
would be zero plot ( ) We hope you enjoyed this journey, we sure did enjoy writing
it! Love u all!(˶′◡‵˶)-N
Like @N said, thank you so much for showering this fic, which started because of one
picture, with so much love and leaving sweet comments everywhere!!! In all reality it
would have ended up really sombre and serious if it was just me, so thank you @N for
adding your unique brand of humour and fluff to it! Love you all and we hope to see
you guys again on our future works together<333 -S
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