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The table below gives information about

student enrolments at Bristol University in
1928, 1958 and 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and

reporting the main features, and make
comparisons where relevant.

#information #student #enrolments #bristol #university

#summarise #features #comparisons

The chart illustrates the number of students

registered at Bristol University in 1928, 1958 and
2008.

Overall, it can be seen that student enrolments

increase dramatically over the years, all started
with only 218 people but in 2008 this number
increased reached almost 6,400. The percentage
of them came from overseas rose similarly and
the last figure accounted for 28% instead of the
5% accounted for in 1928.

A more widely look, reveals that the number of

females presented in the University rose
at the end respect the initial situation, but in 1958
this fell to 32%, thus 10% lower than in 1928.

While the number of males increases between

1928 and 1958, it drop off to 46% in 2008.

It is also clear that a lower amount of students

came from near Bristol, and on the table, this
data represents the greatest drop. Instead,
always more people came from other countries
over the years.

Submitted by robertasottile.rbst on Sun Mar 05 2023

Linking words: Don't use the same linking ▼

words: "instead".

Vocabulary: Replace the words number ▼

with synonyms.

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was ▼

used 3 times.

Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 ▼

times.

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was ▼

used 3 times.

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Linking words
9
meeting the goal of 7 or more

0
1 1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer

2
1 3
Grammar mistakes

4
5 paragraphs 5 155 words

60
75
8.0
Overall9 5 Score
Band

COHERENCE AND COHESION: 8.0

9 Logical structure
9 Single idea per paragraph
9 Introduction & conclusion present
9 Accurate linking words
8 Variety in linking words

LEXICAL RESOURCE: 6.0

6 Varied vocabulary
8 Accurate spelling & word formation

GRAMMATICAL RANGE: 8.0

9 Mix of complex & simple sentences

8 Clear and correct grammar

TASK ACHIEVEMENT: 9.0

9 Complete response
9 Suitable writing tone
Appropriate word count

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