Questions Regarding a Wife’s Obligations in Sharī’ah

Answered by Mufti Zameelur Rahman

Question

Are wives responsible for housework?

Answer

The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) said:

“Each of you is responsible and will be asked about his responsibility…The man is responsible for
[maintaining] his household and the woman is responsible for [the upkeep of] the house and
children of her husband.” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 5200)

Imām al-Khaṭṭābī explains:

“As for a man’s responsibility over his family, it [means] supervising them, managing their affair and
fulfilling their right of maintenance and [good] companionship. As for the woman’s responsibility
over the house of her husband, it [means] good management in the upkeep of his house and
minding those under her care like [his] dependents, guests and servants.” (A‘lām al-Ḥadīth, 1:580)[1]

It is reported that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) determined that Fāṭimah (raḍiyallāhu
‘anhā), his daughter, is responsible for the work inside the house, while Alī (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhu), her
husband, is responsible for the work outside the house. (Muṣannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, 29677)[2] ‘Ᾱbid
al-Sindī explains that work “outside the house” refers to things like “collecting firewood and water,
and acquiring maintenance”, while work “inside the house” refers to activities like “grinding, baking
and kneading”. (Ṭawāli‘ al-Anwār, 6:410)[3] The work was so difficult for Fāṭimah (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhā)
that she complained to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) of marks on her hands, and asked
for a maidservant. The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam), however, told her that better than a
maidservant is to recite tasbīḥ before going to sleep. (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 5361)

The author of al-Hidāyah, Imām al-Marghīnānī, thus explains:

“When a woman is from those who serve themselves, she must cook and bake [and do housework],
because the Prophet (upon him peace) allocated the chores inside the house to Fātimah (Allāh be
pleased with her).” (Mukhtārāt al-Nawāzil, 2:194)[4]

That is, wives who are able and do not come from a rich family which normally employs
maidservants or workers must do housework. Imām al-Sarakhsī explains:
“That which is obligatory on her by virtue of marriage is handing herself over to the husband to
derive [sexual] benefit. She is commanded to do chores apart from that as a religious [obligation]
though she will not be juridically compelled – like sweeping the house, washing the clothes, cooking
and baking; and likewise, nursing the child.” (al-Mabsūt, 5:209)[5]

In other words, just like breastfeeding the child is obligatory on the mother, it is obligatory on her to
do the chores of the house.

In one version of the incident of Fāṭimah (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhā), before exhorting her to make tasbīḥ
before sleeping, the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) said to her:

“Be conscious of Allāh, Fāṭimah, fulfil the obligation of your Lord and do the work of your family.”
(Sunan Abū Dāwūd, 2988)[6]

‘Ᾱbid al-Sindī comments that this ḥadīth proves that “every woman capable of chores must do them”
(Ṭawāli‘ al-Anwār, 6:411) [7], explaining that “once the ruling about Fāṭimah is known, it would be
more so [the case] with other women.” (ibid.)[8]

The following are some relevant narrations.

Asmā’ and Zubayr (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhumā)

Asmā’, the daughter of Abū Bakr (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhumā), says: “Zubayr married me when he had no
wealth on the earth nor a slave, nor anything, besides a camel and horse. So, I used to feed his horse,
draw water and patch up his leather bucket and knead [flour]. I wasn’t good at baking. Neighbours of
mine from the Anṣār, who were women of integrity, would bake. I also used to transport date stones
on my head from a land of Zubayr which the Messenger of Allāh (Allāh bless him and grant him
peace) endowed to him. It was two miles from me. I came one day while the date stones were on my
head and met the Messenger of Allāh (Allāh bless him and grant him peace) while a group of Anṣār
were with him. He invited me saying, ‘Kneel, kneel’ [to the camel] to carry me behind him; I was
embarrassed to travel with men and remembered Zubayr’s jealousy – he was the most jealous of
people! The Messenger of Allāh (Allāh bless him and grant him peace) recognised that I was
embarrassed so continued. I came to Zubayr and told him, ‘The Messenger of Allāh (Allāh bless him
and grant him peace) met me while date stones were on my head and a group of his companions
were with him, so he made the camel kneel for me to ride, but I was embarrassed and remembered
your jealousy.’ He said: ‘By Allāh, the fact you carry date stones [on your head] is harder upon me
than you riding with him.’ Eventually, Abū Bakr sent a servant to me thereafter, which took care of
managing the horse, and it was like he emancipated me!” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 5224)[9]

Note, this was before the obligation of ḥijāb (purdah/separation between genders) (Fatḥ al-Bārī,
11:675)[10], which is why the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) invited her to ride with him. In
one version, Asmā’ says: “I used to do the housework for Zubayr…” (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 5687)[11] Imām
al-Ghazālī quotes this incident in his Iḥyā’ while exhorting wives to do housework. (Iḥyā’ ‘Ulūm al-
Dīn, 3:232-3) Qāḍī ‘Iyāḍ explains that the work Asmā’ (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhā) did outside the house, i.e.
taking care of the horse and carrying the date stones, was not something necessary on her, but extra.
(Ikmāl al-Mu‘lim, 7:75)

‘Ᾱ’isha and Rasūlullāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam)

One of the Ahl al-Ṣuffah reports that the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) invited him and a
group of the Ahl al-Ṣuffah to his house, and said: “Feed us ‘Ᾱ’ishah”, upon which she brought
something to eat, and then he said “Bring us more ‘Ᾱ’ishah,” so she brought a little more, and then
he said: “Give us drink ‘Ᾱ’ishah”, and she brought a container of milk… (Muṣannaf ‘Abd al-Razzāq,
20712, Musnad Ibn Abī Shaybah, 607, Sunan Abū Dāwūd, 5040) The Prophet would clean his teeth
using a siwāk and then give it to ‘Ᾱ’ishah (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhā) to wash. (Sunan Abū Dāwūd, 52) On one
occasion, he told her, “Bring the knife and sharpen it with a stone.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 5086) However, it
was also part of the excellent and noble character of the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) that he
would assist in the housework. (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 676)

Umm Sulaym and Abū Ṭalḥah (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhumā)

Anas (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhu) reports: “A son of [my stepfather] Abū Ṭalḥah from [my mother] Umm
Sulaym died [in his absence]. She said to her family: ‘Do not tell Abū Ṭalḥah about his son until I am
the one to tell him.’ He came, and she presented supper before him, so he ate and drank. She then
did herself up for him in the most attractive manner she used to. He then engaged in intercourse
with her. When she saw that he was satisfied and had had intercourse with her, she said: ‘Abū Ṭalḥah,
what is your opinion if some people were to lend something to a family and then demand their loan
back, can they withhold it from them?’ He said: ‘No.’ She said: ‘Then seek reward [by observing
patience] at [the death of] your son!’ He became angry saying, ‘You left me to become soiled and
then you inform me of [the death of] my son?!’ He then proceeded until he came to the Messenger
of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) and informed him of what happened. The Messenger of Allāh
(ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: ‘Allāh has blessed the two of you last night.’ She then conceived…”
(Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 6317)[12]

What these reports demonstrate is that the concern of the ṣaḥābah was how best to fulfil their
obligations and reduce the burdens of their spouses. Their primary concern was not how best to gain
from their marriage, but how best to give and contribute. Hence, we see in the example of Asmā’
and Zubayr (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhumā) that Asmā’’s concern was for Zubayr and Zubayr’s concern was for
Asmā’. And from the example of Umm Sulaym (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhā) we can see that such attitude
shows great strength of character and is a cause of blessings.

Question
To what extent do wives have to listen to their husbands?

Answer

Allāh says in the Qur’ān that men are guardians of their wives (Qur’ān, 4:34). Al-Jaṣṣāṣ explains that
this verse demonstrates that the wife “must obey [her husband] and accept his command as long as
it is not a sin.” (Aḥkām al-Qur’ān, 3:149)[13] However, this obligation does not extend to every single
permissible act. Rather, she has to obey him in every non-sinful act that is connected to the rights
(ḥuqūq) that he has over her as a husband, namely in matters connected with sexual intimacy
(jimā‘/istimtā‘) and household chores/serving him (khidmah).[14] Outside of these, it is not
necessary on her to obey him. For example, if he told her to engage in tahajjud ṣalāh during the
night, perform optional fasts or memorise the Qur’ān, it does not become an obligation on her to do
these things. Similarly, if he was to tell her to sell her house, it would not become obligatory for her
to do so.

Ibn Nujaym explains:

“It is not obligatory on the wife to obey her husband in all that he commands her. That [i.e. the
obligation to obey] is only in relation to things that go back to the marriage and its connections. She
especially [does not have to obey him] when his command entails harming her.” (al-Baḥr al-Rā’iq,
5:78)[15]

Muḥammad Qadrī Bāshā writes:

“Amongst the wife’s obligations towards the husband is to be obedient to him in everything he
commands her from marital rights when it is permissible in Sharī‘ah.” (al-Aḥkām al-Shar‘iyyah fi l-
Aḥwāl al-Shakhṣiyyah, p. 80)[16]

Women should keep in mind that there is great reward in doing housework and being dutiful and
obedient to their husbands. Jābir (raḍiyallāhu ‘anhu) reported that once they were sitting with the
Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) when a woman came and said: “Assalāmu ‘alayka, Messenger of
Allāh. I am a delegate of [some] women to you. Allāh is the Lord of men and the Lord of women, and
Ᾱdam is the father of men and the father of women. Allāh has sent you to men and to women. Men,
when they go out in Allāh’s cause and are killed, are living with their Lord being sustained, happy
with what Allāh has given them. When they go out, they have such reward that they know. Yet, we
are [occupied in] serving them, and remain [at home]. What reward do we have?” The Messenger of
Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: “Convey salām from me to the women and say to them: Being
obedient to the husband equals all that, but only a few of you do so.” (al-‘Iyāl, 528)[17]

Question

Is it necessary for the wife to serve her mother-in-law?

Answer

It is rewarding and part of good character for a woman to serve her mother-in-law. However, it is not
necessary, nor can her husband compel her, to do so.[18]

Note: The type of accommodation a wife is entitled to in Sharī‘ah depends on her background and
her husband’s financial situation. If the wife comes from an affluent family and the husband is
financially well-off, she is entitled to a fully separate lodging that is separate from her in-laws. If she
is from an average background and he is financially capable, she is entitled only to a separate room
with its own lock, together with a kitchen and bathroom that is not shared by any of his family
members. If both spouses come from poor backgrounds, his obligation is only to provide a separate
room, and it is not necessary to provide separate facilities like a bathroom and kitchen.[19]

[1]

‫ وأما رعاية المرأة في بيت زوجها فحسن‬،‫أما رعاية الرجل أهله فالقيام عليهم والسياسة ألمرهم وتوفيتهم الحق في النفقة والعشرة‬
‫التدبير في أمر بيته والتعهد لمن تحت يدها من عياله وأضيافه وخدمه‬

[2]

‫قضى رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم على ابنته فاطمة خدمة البيت وقضى على عليه بما كان خارج البيت‬

[3]

‫فجعل أعمال الخارج أي مما يتعلق بخارج البيت كإتيان الحطب والماء وتجصيل النفقة على علي رضي هللا تعالى عنه وجعل أعمال‬
‫الداخل كالطحن والخبز والعجن على فاطمة رضي هللا تعالى عنها‬

[4]

‫إذا كانت المرأة ممن تخدم نفسها فعليها الطبخ والخبز ألن النبي صلى هللا عليه وسلم جعل خدمة داخل البيت على فاطمة رضي هللا‬
‫عنها‬
‫]‪[5‬‬

‫المستحق عليها بالنكاح تسليم النفس إلى الزوج لالستمتاع وما سوى ذلك من األعمال تؤمر به تدينا وال تجبر عليه في الحكم نحو‬
‫كنس البيت وغسل الثياب والطبخ والخبز فكذلك إرضاع الولد‬

‫]‪[6‬‬

‫اتقى هللا يا فاطمة وأدى فريضة ربك واعملي عمل أهلك‬

‫]‪[7‬‬

‫في قوله صلى هللا عليه وسلم‪ :‬اتقى هللا يا فاطمة واعملي عمل أهلك دليل على أن كل امرأة تطيق الخدمة يلزمها خدمة بيتها‬

‫]‪[8‬‬

‫إذا علم الحكم في فاطمة فهو في غيرها باألولى‬

‫]‪[9‬‬

‫تزوجني الزبير‪ ،‬وما له في األرض من مال وال مملوك‪ ،‬وال شيء غير ناضح وغير فرسه‪ ،‬فكنت أعلف فرسه وأستقي الماء‪،‬‬
‫وأخرز غربه وأعجن‪ ،‬ولم أكن أحسن أخبز‪ ،‬وكان يخبز جارات لي من األنصار‪ ،‬وكن نسوة صدق‪ ،‬وكنت أنقل النوى من أرض‬
‫الزبير التي أقطعه رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم على رأسي‪ ،‬وهي مني على ثلثي فرسخ‪ ،‬فجئت يوما والنوى على رأسي‪ ،‬فلقيت‬
‫رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم ومعه نفر من األنصار‪ ،‬فدعاني ثم قال‪« :‬إخ إخ» ليحملني خلفه‪ ،‬فاستحييت أن أسير مع الرجال‪،‬‬
‫وذكرت الزبير وغيرته وكان أغير الناس‪ ،‬فعرف رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم أني قد استحييت فمضى‪ ،‬فجئت الزبير فقلت‪ :‬لقيني‬
‫رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم‪ ،‬وعلى رأسي النوى‪ ،‬ومعه نفر من أصحابه‪ ،‬فأناخ ألركب‪ ،‬فاستحييت منه وعرفت غيرتك‪ ،‬فقال‪:‬‬
‫وهللا لحملك النوى كان أشد علي من ركوبك معه‪ ،‬قالت‪ :‬حتى أرسل إلي أبو بكر بعد ذلك بخادم تكفيني سياسة الفرس‪ ،‬فكأنما أعتقني‬

‫]‪[10‬‬

‫والذي يظهر أن القصة كانت قبل نزول الحجاب ومشروعيته‬

‫]‪[11‬‬
‫كنت أخدم الزبير خدمة البيت‬

‫]‪[12‬‬

‫عن أنس قال‪ :‬مات ابن ألبي طلحة من أم سليم‪ ،‬فقالت ألهلها‪ :‬ال تحدثوا أبا طلحة بابنه حتى أكون أنا أحدثه‪ ،‬قال‪ :‬فجاء فقربت إليه‬
‫عشاء فأكل وشرب‪ ،‬فقال‪ :‬ثم تصنعت له أحسن ما كان تتصنع قبل ذلك فوقع بها‪ ،‬فلما رأت أنه قد شبع وأصاب منها‪ ،‬قالت‪ :‬يا أبا‬
‫طلحة‪ ،‬أرأيت لو أن قوما أعاروا عاريتهم أهل بيت فطلبوا عاريتهم ألهم أن يمنعوهم؟ قال‪ :‬ال‪ ،‬قالت‪ :‬فاحتسب ابنك‪ ،‬قال فغضب‬
‫وقال‪ :‬تركتني حتى تلطخت ثم أخبرتني بابني؟ فانطلق حتى أتى رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم فأخبره بما كان‪ ،‬فقال رسول هللا‬
‫صلى هللا عليه وسلم‪ :‬بارك هللا لكما في غابر ليلتكما‪ ،‬قال‪ :‬فحملت إلخ‬

‫]‪[13‬‬

‫وهذا يدل على أن له إمساكها في بيته ومنعها من الخروج وأن عليها طاعته وقبول أمره ما لم تكن معصية ودلت على وجوب نفقتها‬
‫عليه‬

‫]‪[14‬‬

‫إذا تزوجت [المرأة] اشتغلت بخدمة الزوج (النفقة للخصاف‪ ،‬ص‪)١١‬‬

‫المستحق عليها بالنكاح تسليم النفس إلى الزوج لالستمتاع وما سوى ذلك من األعمال تؤمر به تدينا وال تجبر عليه في الحكم نحو‬
‫كنس البيت وغسل الثياب والطبخ والخبز فكذلك إرضاع الولد (المبسوط‪ ،‬ج‪ ٥‬ص‪)٢٠٩‬‬

‫]‪[15‬‬

‫المرأة ال يجب عليها طاعة الزوج في كل ما يأمر به إنما ذلك فيما يرجع إلى النكاح وتوابعه خصوصا إذا كان في أمره إضرار‬

‫]‪[16‬‬

‫من الحقوق على المرأة لزوجها أن تكون مطيعة له فيما يأمرها به من حقوق الزوجية ويكون مباحا شرعا‬

‫]‪[17‬‬

‫عن جابر بن عبد هللا قال‪ :‬بينا نحن قعود عند رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم إذ أتته امرأة فقالت‪ :‬السالم عليك يا رسول هللا‪ ،‬أنا وافدة‬
‫النساء إليك‪ ،‬هللا رب الرجال ورب النساء‪ ،‬وآدم أبو الرجال وأبو النساء‪ ،‬بعثك هللا إلى الرجال وإلى النساء‪ ،‬والرجال إذا خرجوا في‬
 ‫سبيل هللا فقتلوا فأحياء عند ربهم يرزقون فرحين بما آتاهم هللا‪ ،‬وإذا خرجوا لهم من األجر ما قد علموا‪ ،‬ونحن نخدمهم فما لنا من‬
‫األجر؟ قال لها رسول هللا صلى هللا عليه وسلم‪ :‬أقرئى النساء عني السالم‪ ،‬وقولي لهن‪ :‬إن طاعة الزوج تعدل ما هناك‪ ،‬وقليل منكن‬
‫تفعله‬

‫]‪[18‬‬

‫آپ کے مسائل اور ان كا حل‪ ،‬ج‪ ٦‬ص‪٤-٣٤٢‬‬

‫]‪[19‬‬

‫أحسن الفتاوى (ج‪ ٥‬ص‪ )٤٧٦‬نقال عن الشامي‬