High Band Score Corrected Essays Ielts Writing Workbook

High Band Score Corrected Essays (+8) Prepared by @IELTSBlg
Estimated Band Score: 8
School teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students
than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2018-06: Task 2 - China)
It is often argued that educators have greater responsibility in developing students’ cognitive and Commented [@IELTSBlg1]: for
social aspects compared to parents. I absolutely agree with this notion, as teachers are well-trained
to teach formal lessons. Aside from that, school is the best place for children to socialize and make
more friends. Commented [@IELTSBlg2]: ‘form new friendships’
is a better way to say this
It is known for a fact that parents play a vital role in the upbringing of their offsprings. Nevertheless, Commented [@IELTSBlg3]: ‘offspring’ doesn’t have
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educating them at home alone does not always mean leading them to a bright future. For this reason, a plural form
it is extremely important that children be given a formal education. This is when school teachers
come into play. Apart from providing a conducive learning environment, most schools constantly
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update their faculty with various contemporary methods of teaching through seminars and trainings.
This approach has long been practiced in order to ensure that students can cope with technological Commented [@IELTSBlg4]: ‘that’ isn’t needed in
advancements. Furthermore, practical exercises and laboratory experiments significantly help this sentence
increase their problem-solving, logical thinking, and reasoning abilities.

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With regard to social aspect, it is also at school where youngsters learn to interact with peers. Apart
from their daily classroom interactions, varied extracurricular activities are likewise offered to them,
depending on their interests. These can be scouting, sporting events, and other organizations, just Commented [@IELTSBlg5]: the writer means
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to name a few. These opportunities basically enhance leadership skills, camaraderie, and ‘activities’
teamwork, that may not be acquired at home alone. It is, therefore, not surprising that majority of Commented [@IELTSBlg6]: ‘all of which’ should be
friendships emanate from schools. used here instead
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By and large, I strongly believe that when it comes to honing the overall academic and social skills
of the youth, mentors have a more crucial role than parents. It is because they are professionally
trained in performing so.
This essay seems worthy of Band 8. It would get a high Task Response score because all
parts of the topic have been addressed – body paragraph 1 is on intellectual development
and body paragraph 2 talks about the social development of students. The author
organised information well, and used examples to support his/her points. The overall
cohesion and coherence are achieved through skillful use of linking words and
expressions. In terms of lexical resource and grammar there are some minor issues,
however, they shouldn’t affect the score much. Well done!
Some people believe that preserving natural environment is crucial, however, most make
no effort to do so. Why do you think this is happening? What are some simple actions that
could help the environment?
It is commonly believed that preservation of natural resources is imperative, yet most people seem
to exert no effort in doing so. Understanding the causes of this negligent attitude may help with
devising some simple measures to safeguard the deteriorating environment.
Lack of awareness is probably the foremost reason why the vast majority of individuals appears to
be unmindful of the current environmental issues. Normally, people have tendency to downplay
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abstract problems, or those that likely to happen in the distant future. This is because they are not Commented [@IELTSBlg7]: that are likely
properly informed of the possible detrimental effects of taking the environment for granted. To
illustrate, residents in urban areas often deliberately dump their wastes into the nearby creeks and Commented [@IELTSBlg8]: waste is uncountable
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drainage canals causing them to become clogged. It is only when devastating floods strike, that they here and should not be in plural
come to realize the consequences of their actions.
Some basic solutions that could be carried out are extensive awareness campaign through all forms
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Commented [@IELTSBlg9]: plural form ‘campaigns’

of communication and strict implementation of waste management. In addition to the traditional should be used here
press, social media is a powerful means of disseminating information regarding the impending
disasters and their potential hazards. This is a good way of persuading the public to actively take
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part in the campaign. Another straightforward solution, and by far the least anyone can do to help
save the nature is disposing of garbage thoughtfully. Apart from avoiding throwing trash anywhere,
everyone should practice proper segregation of biodegradable, non-biodegradable, and recyclable
wastes at all times. These actions, when coordinated by the local governments, can be tremendously
successful.
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In conclusion, while individual awareness is key to maintaining a healthy ecosystem, concerted

efforts of governments and their citizens are much more effective in achieving such goal. Commented [@IELTSBlg10]: ‘general public’ is
more suitable here as ‘citizen’ is a word that
The response is well written, it contains reasons, solutions and fully addresses the task. relates to a country, not a government
The ideas aren’t repeated, they are conveyed in a clear and easy to understand manner
and organised well with sufficient use of cohesive devices. The vocabulary is varied,
sentence structures are complex and instances of incorrect grammar are hardly
noticeable. Overall, this essay is likely to achieve Band 8 in IELTS.
Many people believe that reducing speed limits is the best option for road safety
improvement. Do you think there are other measures that could be put in place? What are
the advantages and disadvantages of this?
One of the most conspicuous trends of today’s world is a colossal surge in the number of such vehicle Commented [@IELTSBlg11]: this word is not
accidents as cars, trucks and buses, all over the world, be it in impoverished or developed nations. necessary here
There is a wide range of factors that account for why this is happening. In my opinion, this situation Commented [@IELTSBlg12]: replace this word with
‘involving’
could be remedied, provided some effective measures are taken.
Commented [@IELTSBlg13]: avoid repetitive use of
the same word
Measures to deal with this soaring concern are many; the most significant ones are not remote or
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Commented [@IELTSBlg14]: the writer means

complicated but accessible and practicable. The primary one lies in the fact that governments should ‘affect this trend’
take a firm stance and apply stringent rules and regulations to lower the speed limit. Secondly,
Commented [@IELTSBlg15]: use ‘solutions’ to
using the electronic devices while driving should be forbidden by law. Finally, an awareness program avoid repetitive use of ‘one’ in this and the
following sentences
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could be initiated by individuals to educate the public about the catastrophic effects of unsafe roads
Commented [@IELTSBlg16]: ‘the’ is not needed
and the projected enhancements for road safety. Only when convergent efforts from all sectors are
here
ensured, can we expect to see considerable progress in tackling this problem.
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There is a deluge of merits for implementation of reduced speed limits. High speed is likely to impose
life threatening danger on people crossing the roads, due to the perilous nature of this hazardous
speed with danger being an integral part of it. Not only does reducing the speed limits contribute to
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decreasing daily accidents, but it also raises the standard of driving. Needless to say, all these
advantages have a far-reaching impact on pedestrian safety.
There are, however, some pitfalls that can easily overpower the potential benefits of limiting speed.
The primary one stems from the fact that slowing the speed could lead to augmenting the daily
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traffic hours. Besides, it could also delay delivering sick and severe patients to hospitals. Hence, it Commented [@IELTSBlg17]: critically ill
is apparent why some individuals are against changing the standardized level of speed.
From what has been discussed, one can conclude that despite the drawbacks of reducing speed
limits, the expected benefits of this measure are indeed far greater.
All the parts of the task have been covered fairly well. The response presents a well ‐
developed position that addresses all parts of the task prompt with suitable, widely
covered and thoroughly supported ideas. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the
requirements of task response. There are some mistakes in word choice and grammar.
Nevertheless, the essay is up to the mark and is likely to score Band 8 in IELTS.
In many countries the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What problems
will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to
reduce the impact of ageing populations.
It is true that nowadays people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before.
Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to this trend, societies can take
steps to mitigate these potential problems.
As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older, several related
problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement
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age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be
smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the
population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden of working adults. Commented [@IELTSBlg18]: ‘on’ is more suitable
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Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the fact young adults will here
increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives. Commented [@IELTSBlg19]: fact that young (‘that’
is necessary here for linking)
There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above.
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Firstly, a simple solution would be to increase the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from
65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working
life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the
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number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken
from other areas and spent for vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising Commented [@IELTSBlg20]: ‘on’ is more suitable
numbers of senior citizens. here
In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the
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populations of countries grow older.
This essay covers the task requirements, however some problems of aging population get
only a brief mention. The linking of sentences in the second body paragraph is somewhat
‘mechanical’ and could have been improved. Information sequencing and organisation in
paragraphs are done well. The range of vocabulary and the fluency of its use, as well as
lack of errors are impressive. Overall, this is a good example of how to get Band 8 without
writing a very long essay.
Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of
retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant
examples from your experience.
In recent years, with the improvement in healthcare sector and better living standards, people are Commented [@IELTSBlg21]: use ‘standards of
able to live longer and contribute to the economic progress of a nation more, compared to the past. living’ instead
Some see this as an entirely positive development, while others point out the drawbacks of working
beyond the retirement age.
Delaying retirement enables individuals to actively contribute to the society. On a personal level,
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working past retirement age provides an avenue for individuals to remain not only physically but
also mentally active. Moreover, this option empowers the ageing population to be financially
independent and economically self-sustainable past retirement age. In countries with growing ageing
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population such as Singapore, for instance, citizens are given an option to work beyond their
retirement age based on the demands of their job and their capability to handle these tasks. Hence,
working beyond retirement age empowers workers, ensures economic progression of the nation,
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and alleviates the challenges faced by an ageing population.
On the flip side, working beyond the retirement age may result in adverse health impacts on workers
and a decrease in productivity levels. In Japan, the suicide rates have recently been increasing due
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to rising stress levels at work faced by the ageing population who are pushed to work beyond their
optimal capacity. Escalating stress levels from work leads to various health complications putting a Commented [@IELTSBlg22]: the correct verb form
strain on the healthcare system. Hence, working beyond retirement age may worsen the overall here is ‘lead’ because it refers to ‘stress levels’
welfare of individuals and adversely impact the economy.

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To sum up, though working beyond retirement age imposes health hazards leading to reduction in Commented [@IELTSBlg23]: it is better to say ‘may
productivity levels, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. By assessing the capability of impose’ because the outcome is not 100%
certain
individuals and tailoring their jobs to their health profile, firms and companies could still actively
involve their workers to be productive beyond their retirement age.
This essay is an excellent example of IELTS Band 8 writing. The author presents sound
arguments making his/her point of view very clear, examples are being used to support
the writer’s points and the organisation of information is handled very well. There are
some minor inaccuracies, however, they wouldn’t affect the score much in the real test.
Well done!
Nowadays families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a
negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own
opinion.
Recent advancements, in technology and transportation in particular, are reshaping our world in an
unprecedented manner. Nowadays, it is not unusual for people to work abroad. Most expatriates
relocate their families to the countries they work at. Some people argue that this phenomenon Commented [@IELTSBlg24]: where they work
negatively affects children, however, I agree with those who believe the opposite is true.
Those who think that relocating children to a new place is undesirable do so for many reasons. Their
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most common argument is the negative impact of moving on a child’s personality. There is no doubt
that living in a different community comes with its challenges, especially to young people, as they
get exposed to behaviours, actions and customs they might not be familiar with. As a result, children
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could possibly feel a lack of stability and some confusion. It is also likely that their patriotic feelings
and sense of belonging to their home country could weaken as they would miss many opportunities
to celebrate their national events.
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Nevertheless, I firmly believe that opinion to be ludicrous, as it seems that getting exposed to a new
culture is beneficial in many ways. It fosters young people social and emotional capabilities. Commented [@IELTSBlg25]: people’s
Moreover, children living abroad have better opportunities to lean and practice new languages. Commented [@IELTSBlg26]: ‘learn’ is the correct
spelling
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Mastering more than one language improves not only their intellectual development, but also their
opportunities in acquiring better jobs in the future. According to a recent study published by the
University of Chicago, competency in more than one language increases employment chances on
average by 200%.
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In conclusion, I strongly believe that living in a different country positively affects children in all
aspects. Acquiring new languages, and an open minded and tolerant personality are just few
examples of the many possible benefits.
This essay presents a well‐developed position that addresses all parts of the task prompt.
The writer’s ideas are relevant and well‐ supported. The arrangement of information and
use of cohesive devices are fine, perhaps with a slight overuse in the second body
paragraph. Sentence structures are complex, and the vocabulary is varied and
appropriately used, except for some minor grammatical/spelling mistakes. This essay
seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.
Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree
with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
It is true that parents need some knowledge and experience in order to raise their kids in an Commented [@IELTSBlg27]: use the word
appropriate way. In this regard, many families attend different training courses. While I agree that ‘children’ to maintain the necessary level of
formality in your essay
these courses might be useful for some of them, I totally disagree with the recommended
obligatory pattern of such training. Commented [@IELTSBlg28]: ‘nature’ or ‘character’
is the right word to use here
On the one hand, training courses usually offered by governments could be very useful for those
guardians who have a kid with special needs. For example, if a child has a birth defect or has been Commented [@IELTSBlg29]: child
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diagnosed with any mental or musculoskeletal disorders, these kinds of training could be lifesaving.
Additionally, as we know, the first few months after birth are really a crucial period of a child’s life;
parents should obtain different information related to their child’s vaccinations, common health
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problems, different developmental issues and so on, which can be delivered through such training
courses.
On the other hand, I believe that making these programs as a mandatory option would cause several
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Commented [@IELTSBlg30]: ‘as’ isn’t needed here

problems for societies and individuals as well. To begin with, in order to achieve this goal, many
professionals should be trained which may not be affordable for some governments. From an
individual’s point of view, this kind of mandatory programs could be very time-consuming for some Commented [@IELTSBlg31]: using the word
‘compulsory’ will help to avoid repetition of
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families who have other kids at home or who work long hours. The other important consideration is
‘mandatory
that parent training courses may not provide all the necessary information for each and every family.
Commented [@IELTSBlg32]: use ‘children’ to
To be more specific, parents could get more beneficial information through different websites such maintain formality
as YouTube according to their own preferences.
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In conclusion, although I believe that many families can take advantage from training courses, I do Commented [@IELTSBlg33]: ‘of’ is the right
believe that making them as a compulsory option for everyone is too time and money-consuming preposition to use here
for individuals and governments. Commented [@IELTSBlg34]: ‘as’ isn’t needed here
The introduction is very good and relevant. The writer’s position is balanced, relevantly
and properly developed in two body paragraphs. The conclusion summarizes both sides
of the argument and logically finished the essay. To maintain the necessary level of
formality the word ‘kids’ should be replaced with ‘children’ everywhere in this essay. The
use of prepositions needs more attention as some are inappropriate or incorrect. The
length could be reduced – it’s not necessary to write a very long essay to get a higher
score, and often it is better to write a shorter essay (no shorter than 250 words though!)
but spend more time proofreading, correcting errors and improving the quality of writing.
Overall this essay is likely to score Band 8 in IELTS.
Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people,
while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is no doubt that modern technology is reshaping our planet and affecting every aspect of
human lives. From a social perspective, many people argue that the gap between the upper class
and lower classes is widening as a result of technological advancements. Others, however, believe
the opposite.
There are several reasons why one could think that the wealth inequality is, indeed, increasing. The
most common reason is the automation. Driven by technology, automation reduces the need for Commented [@IELTSBlg35]: ‘the’ isn’t needed here
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manual labour. As a result, less work opportunities are available for unskilled people. With each
iteration of the cycle the competition increases and wages decrease. Secondly, technology has Commented [@IELTSBlg36]: ‘Secondly’ isn’t a good
increased the minimum level of needs that should be satisfied. Nowadays, everybody should have a word choice because there is no ‘Firstly’, a better
choice would be ‘Also’, or ‘In addition’
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mobile phone and an internet connection, including the poor. This increases the monetary burden
on them as they must borrow to cover these new needs.
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However, I firmly believe that the aforementioned opinion is ludicrous. The most obvious reason is
that modern technology has facilitated the road to riches in an unprecedented manner. For instance,
many of the internet billionaires are from lower and middle classes. Moreover, the major leaps in
agricultural technologies has magnified food production. As a result, food has become more Commented [@IELTSBlg37]: ‘have’ is the correct
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affordable and available. Finally, leveraging technology has dramatically increased workers’ verb form
productivity. Consequently, compensations and salaries have increased.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that technology could possibly narrow the difference between social
classes. Increased food production, opportunities and productivity are just few examples of
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technology’s contribution to bridging the wealth gap.
This essay adequately covers all parts of the task. The ideas expressed in this written
response are relevant, well-developed, ordered in a logical way and supported. The
paragraphing is suitable and cohesion is maintained throughout the essay. A good range
of vocabulary and the writer’s fluency are evident. There are no spelling errors and very
few mistakes in word choice and grammar, most sentences are error-free. The essay is
likely to get Band 8 in IELTS.
In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young
workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or
disagree?
While some believe that rewarding those in managerial positions with higher pay packets is
appropriate, not everyone agrees with this view. Personally, I am leaning towards the latter position
due to negative impacts caused by significant difference in salaries within a company.
For one, executive officers should know that higher than sufficient salaries are not necessary.
Indeed, the higher the remuneration they receive, the more likely the company to suffer from devoid
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of financial capability. Furthermore, they often gain powers that money can’t buy. For instance, they
often make important decisions over how to make their company thrive. They are also entitled to
allocate company’s budget and designate tasks to other workers. In lieu of these non-financial Commented [@IELTSBlg38]: the writer means ‘due
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entitlements, they should refrain from earning more than reasonable amounts as salaries. to gaining’
Unreasonably high salaries granted to the executives can also afflict other employees. In fact, it is
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foreseeable that many employees would feel powerless or even disappointment when they find out Commented [@IELTSBlg39]: the correct form is
about the huge salary gap between the executive officers’ and theirs. Accordingly, some may leave ‘disappointed’
the company, and others may go on to strike and demand a pay increase. However, those
actions hardly be productive nor worthy to do. Therefore, unfair salary systems like this would yield Commented [@IELTSBlg40]: the correct expression
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unhealthy working environment for both employers and employees. is ‘are neither productive nor worthy of doing’
In conclusion, I oppose to provide those in managerial roles with obscene amounts of compensation Commented [@IELTSBlg41]: the correct form is
because it can cost the company its prosperity and discourage other employees to work hard. Thus ‘providing’
it is recommended for the company to decide on the salaries of executive officers and general Commented [@IELTSBlg42]: the correct expression
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is “from working hard”

workers by adopting a more motivating salary system.
This is a good example of an IELTS Band 8 essay. The task statement is sufficiently
discussed, and the writer’s arguments are relevant and well developed. There are only 2
body paragraphs, but they are coherent and help to organise the information. Linking
words are used appropriately to sequence ideas. Skillful use of synonyms throughout the
essay demonstrates the writer’s vocabulary. Some of the expressions used aren’t entirely
suitable or accurate, but there aren’t many of them. Overall, this essay seems worthy of
IELTS Band 8.0.
As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for
teachers in the classroom.
There is no doubt that education and the learning process has changed since the introduction of
computers: The search for information has become easier and amusing, and connectivity has
expedited the data availability. Though experts systems have made computers more intelligent, they Commented [@IELTSBlg43]: expert
have not yet become a substitute of the human interaction in the learning process. In my opinion
what can be expected is a change of the teachers’ role, but not their disappearance from the
classroom.
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Nobody can argue that the acquisition of knowledge is more fun and easier with computers. The
mere activity of touching and exploring this device constitutes an enjoyable task for a child. This,
accompanied by the relaxing attitude and software interactivity, usually contributes to a better
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grasping of new knowledge. At a higher educational level the availability of digital books, simulators
and other academic materials provide the student with an ever accessible source of information,
that otherwise would not be at hand.
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But, besides the increasing complexity and behavior of intelligent software, which is usually
embedded in the academic digital material, the need for human interaction in the learning process
will always be present, at least in the foreseeable future. There is the necessity for a human being
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to be able to determine what the specifics needs of each individual are. The expertise of a teacher Commented [@IELTSBlg44]: specific
in how to explain and adapt complex concepts to different individuals can hardly be mimicked by a
computer, no matter how sophisticated its software is.
As computers are becoming a common tool for teaching, teachers should be more aware of their
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role as guides in the acquisition of knowledge rather than transmitters of facts. They have to be
open minded to the changes that are taking places, keep updated and serve as problem solvers in Commented [@IELTSBlg45]: place
the learning process, thus allowing students to discover the fact for themselves. Commented [@IELTSBlg46]: facts
To summarize, in my personal view, teachers play and will continue to play an important role in the
classroom, especially at the primary level. No matter how complex computers become, there will be
no replacement for the human interaction, but in the way haw this interaction takes place. Commented [@IELTSBlg47]: way this
This is an excellent essay! Are you a native English speaker? Well done. The only problem
is that this essay is too long, 365 words instead of 250-265 maximum.
Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are
essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
Every four years, the whole world stops to watch international sporting events such as the Olympics
and the Football World Cup in which athletes show their best performance to make their country
proud. These sporting occasions have proved to be helpful in easing international tension in difficult
times when powerful leaders were trying to control the world’s economy and other governments
were fighting over the land.
The Olympic Games are one of the best examples which prove how sporting events can bring nations
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together, at least temporarily. From the ancient History, when Greeks and Romans would interrupt
battles to participate in the games, to the more recent international disputes, when athletes from
Palestine and Israel would forget their differences, compete peacefully and even embrace each other
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after an event. Moreover, these popular events have called the world’s attention to the terrible
consequences of wars; thus some leaders have tried to reach agreements to end their disputes and
live peacefully.
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Similarly, international sporting events show benefits in some developing countries which live in a
daily internal civil war. For example, Brazil has a high rate of unemployment, lack of education,
hunger, crime, poverty and corruption which leads to an immense embarrassment of being Brazilian
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and a low self-esteem. However, when the Football World Cup starts, the Brazilian squad, which is
considered the best team in the world, provokes an amazing feeling of pride in their country. Most
people seem to forget all their problems and even the criminal activity decreases. They paint roads
with the national colors, wear the Brazilian team shirts and buy national flags. Moreover, the
competition brings families and neighbors together and even rival gangs watch the games and
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celebrate peacefully.
In conclusion, popular sporting events play an important role in decreasing international tensions
and liberating patriotic feelings as history has shown.
This is a great essay, the ideas, language, structure of paragraphs and sentences, and
your grammar show a good command of the English language. In my opinion it is Band 8.
Keep up the good work.
Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you
agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your
experience.
Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations.
However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer
nations in such areas.
Today’s world has been divided into developing and industrialised countries which the main Commented [@IELTSBlg48]: where
difference between them is the amount of money that governments apply in important sectors such
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as education, health and commerce. Most of the poorer nations are buried in debts as a result of
their unbalanced finances which are reflect in a failed health care, an unstructured education system Commented [@IELTSBlg49]: are reflected
and a weak international trade. This vicious cycle will continue indefinitely unless wealthier nations Commented [@IELTSBlg50]: poor
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show interest in minimizing the worldwide economic differences, as well as taking more responsibility
for assisting less fortunate countries.
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Most of the African countries live in sub-human conditions because of the extreme poverty, upheaval, Commented [@IELTSBlg51]: inhuman
hunger, disease, unemployment, lack of education and both inexperienced and corrupt
administrations. The devastating consequences of the AIDS epidemic in those countries could
improve if the infected population were to receive free drugs to control the disease, have access to
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health professionals and get information on how to prevent its spread. But this can only be achieved
through international help programs in which leaders of the world’s richest countries donate medicine
and also send doctors and nurses to treat and educate those in need.
Moreover, most of the poor countries rely on selling agricultural products and raw materials to rich
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nations and buying industrialized products from them resulting in a huge financial deficit. Commented [@IELTSBlg52]: which results
Consequently, they borrow a significant amount of money from the World Bank to try to improve
their broken economies, but sometimes the money disappears with no significant changes and they
cannot even pay the interest to the bank. Regarding this issue, last year the G8, which is comprised
of leaders of the eight richest nations, decided to forgive billions of dollars worth of debt owed by
the world’s poorest nations. In addition, they developed adequate loan programs to financially assist
those countries.
In conclusion, leaders of the industrialised countries play an indispensable role in assisting Commented [@IELTSBlg53]: industrialized
developing nations in dealing with essential areas such as health, education and trade. Also, their
aid is the key to breaking the vicious cycle, which results in poverty and death.
This is a great essay, seems to be on a Band 8 level, there’s nothing to improve here.
As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for
teachers in the classroom.
There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people’s lives, especially in
the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of students rely on computers for research
and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way
of learning and to get knowledge through online schools. These changes in the learning process have
brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease of importance of teachers in the
classroom.
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Some people believe the role of teachers started to fade because computers have been helping some
students to progress in their studies quicker compared to studies in an original classroom. For
example, in the same classroom, students have different intellectual capacities, thus some would be
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tied to a slow advance in their studies because of others’ incapability of understanding. In this way,
pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace using computers instead of
learning from teachers.
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However, the presence of a teacher is essential for students because the human contact influences
them in positive ways. Firstly, students realize that they are not dealing with a machine but with a
human being who deserves attention and respect. They also learn the importance of studying in a
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group and respect for other students, which helps them improve their social skills.
Moreover, teachers are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some students’
deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra
exercises or even suggesting a private tutor. Hence, students can have a better chance of avoiding
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a failure in a subject.
In conclusion, the role for teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue
to be such in the future because no machine can replace the human interaction and its consequences.
This is a great essay. Seems worthy of Band 8. No improvements are necessary, keep up
the good work!
Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what

extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is an obvious fact that financial aspects are a major part of the daily life, as an adult and even as
a young individual. Each and every one of us has to make financial decisions concerning recreation,
health, education and more. The question is whether to start with financial education as part of
school program or to postpone it for a later stage in life.
To begin with, being able to understand the value of money, the way the economic system works
and to interpret financial news and its implications is a virtue. Without this virtue, an individual, even
@
a young one, might suffer to some extent. For an example, a child who doesn’t understand the Commented [@IELTSBlg54]: example
concept of money might find it more difficult to except choosing only one present out of more Commented [@IELTSBlg55]: accept
possible ones.
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In addition, many adults are lacking capability of financial analysis. Quite often, the reason can be
the lack of sound foundations or insecurity when it comes to financial terms and concepts. Starting
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from an early age, building a strong background, can very likely prevent such situation.
However, financial education necessarily involves quantifying and setting prices and value for
services and goods. It can easily turn young people into cynical human beings who lack emotion.
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Furthermore, a tendency to self-concentration and egoism might rise when one start measuring Commented [@IELTSBlg56]: starts
everything from a profit-making perspective.
In conclusion, financial education has both pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages are more
significant than the disadvantages, making financial education an advisable component of the school
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program. The disadvantages should be thought of as a certain price that young people have to pay
due to the characteristics of the world that we live in.
This is a wonderful essay. It covers the task, is correctly structured, the paragraphs are
logically connected, the structure of sentences shows excellent command of the English
language. The vocabulary is fine and both spelling and grammar are very good. See
comments underlined in blue for some minor corrections. Overall, looks like a Band 7.5 –
Band 8 essay.
Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a very positive way, its
negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
Globalization is such a commonly used term in the twentieth century. It simply means that the world Commented [@IELTSBlg57]: twenty first
has become integrated economically, socially, politically and culturally through the advances of
technology, transportation and communication. It is undeniable that globalization has resulted in
both positive and negative effects which must be addressed accordingly.
To begin with, globalization has contributed to the world’s economies in many beneficial ways. The
advances in science and technology have allowed businesses to easily cross over territorial boundary
@
lines. Consequently, companies tend to become more productive and competitive thereby raising
the quality of goods, services and the world’s living standard.
IE
Secondly, several companies from the more developed countries have already ventured to establish
foreign operations or branches to take advantage of the low cost of labor in the poorer countries.
This kind of business activity will provide more influx of cash or investment funds into the less
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developed countries.
However, one cannot deny the negative effects which have derived from globalization. One crucial Commented [@IELTSBlg58]: were
social aspect is the risk and danger of epidemic diseases which can easily be spread as the
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transportation becomes easier and faster in today’s advanced society. This is evidenced in the recent
birds flu disease which has infected most Asian countries over a short period of time.
As large corporations invest or take over many offshore businesses, a modern form of colonization
will also evolve which may pose certain power pressure on the local governments of the less
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developed countries. Unemployment rates in the more developed regions such as Europe may also
escalate as corporations choose to outsource to the cheaper work force from Asian countries.
In conclusion. I like to reiterate that globalization is inevitable and we must urge individuals, Commented [@IELTSBlg59]: I would like
companies and governments to use a more balanced approach by taking the appropriate steps to
deal with matters relating to the financial or economical gains verses the social, political or ecological
concerns of the world.
This essay is too long, 318 words instead of 250-265. Otherwise (except for some minor
grammatical errors) it is a very nice work. It covers the task, has the right structure, the
paragraphs are coherent and are logically connected by elegantly used linking words, the
structure of sentences is fine and so is your vocabulary. Seems worthy of Band 7.5 or 8.
In some countries children have very strict rules of behavior, in other countries they are
allowed to do almost anything they like. To what extent should children have to follow
rules?
The extent to which children have to follow rules is in itself a very complex issue, since children
across the world grow up in very different cultures. In India for example, children are expected to Commented [@IELTSBlg60]: India,
be very submissive to their parents as well as other adults around them. This, however, is not the
case with the Western countries of the world where children follow the motto ‘Thou shalt do what
thou wilt’ as promoted by celebrities and rock stars. I believe that following strict rules has both
advantages as well as serious drawbacks as discussed below.
@
Commented [@IELTSBlg61]: and
Firstly, strict rules of behavior create responsible and respectful children who in turn mature into
respectful adults. This forms a stable society which is virtually free from negative trends such as
IE
prostitution and drug abuse. Secondly, if children do not follow strict rules of behavior, they may
get out of hand and become work-shy and indolent. This may then create a burden on the society
since the government has to find ways to cater for these social ills.
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However, forcing children to follow strict rules of behavior doesn’t always yield positive results as
discussed above, most of the time it backfires and works against society. For example, teenagers
are more likely to do the opposite of what they’re told to do simply because they want to be
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independent. Children should also have rights to exercise their free will and develop their own
pattern of behaviors. Imposing strict rules may simply destroy the individuality of children.
At the end of the day, it is clear that children should be guided by rules, but these rules should not
be imposed on them because as human beings, they need to have room to develop their own traits
lg
of character and adopt a behavioral pattern of their own.
This essay is too long (309 words instead of advised 250-265). Otherwise this work is a
very good one; it covers the task, your position is clear, the ideas are well-organized,
expressed, explained and supported. The sentences show a wide range of language
structures, cohesive devices and your grammar is fine. Overall, this seems to be a band
7.5 or higher essay.
Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a positive way, its negative
side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
In the present age, globalization is playing an increasingly important role in our lives. But in the
meantime whether it is a blessing or a curse has sparked a heated debate. Some people argue that
globalization has a fundamentally beneficial influence on our lives, while many others contend that
it has a detrimental effect as well.
A convincing argument can be made about globalization not only playing a pivotal role in the
development of technology and economy, but also promoting the cultural exchange between
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different countries. To start with, it is the globalization that impelled many corporate to become Commented [@IELTSBlg62]: corporations
international groups, thereby making a contribution to the local technology and employment.
Specifically, when a multinational group establish a factory in a developing country, the new Commented [@IELTSBlg63]: establishes
IE
equipment, the new management skills and the job vacancies are all in the best interest of the local
society. Moreover, people worldwide can get to know each other better through globalization. It is
easy to see that more and more Hollywood blockbusters show cultures different from American,
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some recent examples are ‘Kungfu Panda’ and ‘The Mummy’.
Admittedly, the profit driven side of globalization has severely affected young people. Today, in the
metropolises in different countries, it is very common to see teenagers wearing NIKE T-shirts and
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Adidas footwear, playing Hip-Hop music on Apple iPods and eating at KFC. The culture that took a
thousand years to form just seems similar in these cities; it seems as though you can only distinguish
them by their language. Meanwhile, in some developing countries, sweat workshops are always a
concerning issue. For instance, reports show that some teenagers employed by NIKE’s contractors
work in smelly factories over 14 hours a day, but are only paid fifty cents per hour.
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To sum up, I would concede that globalization does come with some adverse effects. Despite that
fact, benefits created by it far outweigh the disadvantages. Overall, I am convinced that we should
further promote globalization and meanwhile the local government should take measures to combat
culture assimilation and sweat workshops.
This essay is extremely long (338 words instead of the advised 250-265). It has a sound
structure, your position is clearly expressed, the information is well-organized, and
structure-wise the sentences are fine. The vocabulary is impressive and there were only
a few grammatical errors (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this seems to be a
band 7.5 + essay.
Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and
other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are
necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Throwing parties can be expensive. While some people do not find these fancy parties worth what
they cost, others believe parties are important to both individuals and the society.
People choose to throw parties for a number of reasons. For starters, parties can make better teams.
Project kick-off parties are good opportunities to break the ice and help team members to know
each other better. Victory parties create a sense of success and belonging. Companies do not see Commented [@IELTSBlg64]: belongingness
@
parties as wastes of money and allocate budget to support such events. Moreover, parties often Commented [@IELTSBlg65]: waste
leave good memories. From our own experiences, we all have happy memories of our birthday
parties when we were little. Every family has great photos took on family parties in their album. In Commented [@IELTSBlg66]: which were taken
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addition, contrary to what some people believe that spending on parties is a waste of social
resources, parties actually create value, either by employing people in the party planning business
or by offering people better party experiences.
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The popularity of parties, however, causes some tension in the society. Parties are hard on
introverted people who find themselves uncomfortable in parties. This is a clinic symptom which
psychologists call it “social anxiety disorder”. There are other ways to celebrate important events Commented [@IELTSBlg67]: delete this
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that may have greater value for their cost. For instance, companies could send out gifts after
successful projects and parents could take their children on family trips to celebrate birthdays.
In my opinion, while a party is a form of social event that brings many benefits to individuals and
the society, other choices should also be considered, either to cut spending or to relieve the stress
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of those who are not fond of parties.
This is a very good essay. Other than minor inaccuracies there are no problems. Seems to
be worth IELTS Band 8.
In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people
regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience,
important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?
The issue of whether or not children should be engaged in some paid work has sparked a heated
debate. While some argue that having some employment experience is conducive to a child’s
learning and development, I contend that it would bring harm to the child’s heath and learning. Commented [@IELTSBlg68]: health
First of all, a workplace designed for adults is normally shortage of child-friendly facilities. Desks and Commented [@IELTSBlg69]: delete this
chairs are too high for a child; the light switches are installed on the walls unreachable by children; Commented [@IELTSBlg70]: lacks
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also emergency training and facilities such as phones are only provided to adults. Furthermore, Commented [@IELTSBlg71]: for
various hazards such as polluted air and chemical fumes are still produced in factories and farms.
Undoubtedly young people would suffer in such workplaces.
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Also, children would find it frustrating when they are not properly inducted before starting a job. A
child working in a cement factory would feel a setback when he could not get immediate support
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while struggling with the procedures of recording different raw materials that is required by the job. Commented [@IELTSBlg72]: are
Further, without sufficient support, a child’s misunderstanding or inappropriately communicating
with adults would only disappoint him and prevents him from active learning and interacting with
other people.
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To conclude, a child’s paid employment experience would lead to a negative impact on their health
and active learning. However, recognizing the importance of children’s learning and their awareness
of responsibility, it is advisable to encourage them to be involved in some volunteering opportunities
where they can meaningfully learn and interact with other people with sufficient care and support in
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place for such jobs.
This is a good essay. There are only a few errors, but otherwise this work seems worthy
of Band 7.5 or 8. Remember to always proofread your essay before submitting it. Keep up
the good work!
Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on
expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?
With the proliferation of high-tech media, some people hold that the public libraries would be Commented [@IELTSBlg73]: insist
rendered obsolete if they do not offer software, videos or DVDs to their users while other assert it’s Commented [@IELTSBlg74]: did
only a waste of limited resources and the libraries should offer books only. Commented [@IELTSBlg75]: others
High-tech media is, in many ways, indeed superior to the books in terms of entertainment,
attraction, and functionality. For instance, videos and DVDs function as a visual means to assist
people to have a first-hand experience even though those people have not physically visited or seen
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the objects which are introduced in the books. Also, despite the audio-visual equipment would be Commented [@IELTSBlg76]: the fact that
prohibitive to install, the capital cost would be lowered by appealing to a sizable number of users.
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More importantly, software could assist the library goers to access the Internet to update their
knowledge on a daily basis; in contrast, books typically take multiple months to be published, which
in turn render their contents outdated to some extent. In addition, upon learning that the computer Commented [@IELTSBlg77]: renders
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literacy has become an essential skill recently, public libraries should take on the responsibility to
educate its users how to operate a computer. Commented [@IELTSBlg78]: their
Furthermore, it is a common practice for most public libraries to share their resources via the
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Internet. In this way, even if one book of interest cannot be found in one library, the borrower still
could locate the book from other libraries and then request the librarians to transfer the book to that Commented [@IELTSBlg79]: in
particular library.
In conclusion, public libraries would benefit in multiple ways if they are equipped with the high-tech Commented [@IELTSBlg80]: were
lg
media.
This is a good essay. There are only a few errors indicating that the writer needs to take
care with verbs, prepositions and sentence formation. Overall, this work seems worthy of
IELTS Band 8. Remember to always proofread your essay before submitting it. Keep up
the good work!
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant
for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes
and what solutions can be offered?
Nowadays, the increasing rate of overweight children and adults is a worldwide health issue. Obesity
is a major problem which is increasing day by day in school going children. There are various reasons Commented [@IELTSBlg81]: school-age
behind it. This essay will discuss the causes of obesity and offer some solutions.
The first cause of obesity is junk food. It is often seen that mostly children are fond of burgers,
pizzas, noodles and coke. These types of foods are easily available to them in school canteens. Commented [@IELTSBlg82]: Coke
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Children love to purchase chips, chocholates, - ice-cream for lunch. Moreover, in this modern era, Commented [@IELTSBlg83]: chocolates
parents are working and they do not have time to cook at home. Parents often buy dinner for their
children instead of preparing food at home. This calorie-rich diet is making children obese. This
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problem can be solved by teaching children to cook healthy foods for themselves and banning junk
foods and fizzy drinks in schools. This diet can be replaced by milk, juice and fruits for lunch.
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The second cause of obesity is sedentry life style. It is true that the use of computers and television Commented [@IELTSBlg84]: sedentary lifestyle
is increasing in children. They spend most of their time watching television or playing video games
on a computer. This technological advancement has reduced the level of physical activity in this
specific age group. This issue can be resolved by encouraging children to do physical exercises.
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Parents can take their children to park to encourage playing with friends. Furthermore, schools can
add sports in their curriculum to maintain physical fitness in their students.
To sum up, it is clear that main causes of obesity are unhealthy eating and not enough physical
activities. This ailment can be prevented and treated by healthy eating habbits and physical Commented [@IELTSBlg85]: habits
lg
exercises.
This is a good essay. There are only a few minor errors that could have been easily
prevented by proofreading this essay one last time before submission. Overall, this work
seems worthy of IELTS Band 8. Keep up the good work!
Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic
abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities
studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.
Some people contend that mixed ability classes are more beneficial for children’s development than
streaming them on the basis of judgement about their academic abilities. However, from my
perspective, I disagree with this contention.
Admittedly, mixed ability classes provide a better environment for children’s all-round development.
In such classes, children with different abilities study together and in turn they can learn from one
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another. From example, a student, who is good at academic study but weak in dancing or painting,
can learn how to dance or paint form his peers. In this sense, mixed ability classes allow students Commented [@IELTSBlg86]: from
to develop their abilities in different subjects instead of only academic abilities.
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Despite the argument above, I believe streaming students brings more benefits to teachers and
students. As for teachers, separating children with better academic abilities from others facilitates
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effective teaching. This practice helps teachers to control their students more conveniently and
easily. Compared with mixed ability in which teacher should consider students’ differences when
they are using teaching methodologies, streaming makes this situation simpler. To be more specific,
students are at the same level of academic ability in a class, and in turn teachers can use the same
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methodologies for them all. In this way, the narrower the spread of ability in the class, the more
convenient the teaching can be.
On top of this, steaming enables students to learn in an effective way. According to students’ Commented [@IELTSBlg87]: streaming
different abilities, they are taught in different ways that are more suitable for them. In the top
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streams, students use more difficult materials, therefore, they can learn more. In sharp contrast,
teachers can explain the material more slowly to those in bottom streams. Under this circumstance,
students with different academic abilities can study effectively and efficiently.
In the final analysis, mixed ability classes are beneficial for students’ versatile development, but in
my opinion, segregating students based on different academic ability is better for both teachers and
students.
The writer presented a balanced discussion of the topic, effortlessly delivered in a form of
a fluent, well-written IELTS essay. The arguments and reasoning are laid out in a
coherent, logical way. A wide range of vocabulary is used in this work. There are very few
spelling errors that could have been caught in an additional round of proofreading. Keep
up the good work! Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this
happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
It is true that some criminals commit crimes again after they have been punished. While there are
several reasons for this alarming trend, some effective measures can be taken by governments to
tackle this problem.
There are two main reasons for re-offenders. Firstly, the prison system can make the situation worse.
Criminals put together in prison and they make friends with other offenders. While they are locked
up in prison, they do not have much to do there, and they would exchange information about what
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they have done before they came to the prison or they may plan crimes with other inmates.
Secondly, offenders often do not have any other means of earning money. They are poor,
uneducated and lacking skills needed to maintain a job. Also, a criminal record makes finding a job
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difficult as people usually avoid hiring ex-convict. Commented [@IELTSBlg88]: people with criminal
background
To solve this problem, governments should focus on rehabilitation of criminals rather than
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punishment. Above all, prisons need vocational training which makes inmates to prepare for life Commented [@IELTSBlg89]: allows
outside the prison. They can learn practical skills such as computer programming, car maintenance
and graphic design. In this way, they can be hired for a position that requires this certain knowledge
and skills. Community service is another way to reform offenders. Rather than being locked up in
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prison with other inmates, offenders can help society and become useful to their local community,
and these activities would eliminate the negative influence that prisons can have.
In conclusion, it is true the re-offenders are one of the problems in our community; it can be solved Commented [@IELTSBlg90]: recidivism is
by focusing rehabilitation rather than punishment itself. Commented [@IELTSBlg91]: for
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Commented [@IELTSBlg92]: on rehabilitation
This is a good essay. The requirements of the task statement are covered, the reasoning
is logical and presented in a coherent, easy to follow way, the range of vocabulary is wide
enough and the writer shows fluency and flexibility. Some minor errors in this essay
include word choice and preposition errors. Overall this looks like an IELTS Band 8 essay.
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It
is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this
opinion?
Nowadays, technological advances and their rapid and wide applications are having a significant
impact on a nation’s traditional skills and ways of life. Some argue that such impact is so
extraordinary that it would make conventional skills and life styles obsolete. However, I believe they Commented [@IELTSBlg93]: lifestyle
would continue to thrive by providing alternatives to modern ways of life, and innovative ideas for
modern technologies.
@
First of all, traditional skills and ways of life are becoming an alternative solution to the problems
caused by “mainstreamed” ways of life which are greatly influenced by modern technologies. For Commented [@IELTSBlg94]: mainstream
instance, a cozy restaurant where traditional, home-brewed beer is served, offers another
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experience to people who are bored with branded beers that have the same flavor and come out of
mass production with new technologies. It is in such a venue where traditional skills are preserved,
people become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and thus enriching modern ways of life, Commented [@IELTSBlg95]: educated about what?
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such traditional skills and ways of life would continue to have their place.
Furthermore, conventional skills provide innovative ideas to the development of modern

technologies. For example, sparkled by how the word “Love” is traditionally knitted into a sweater
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by some ethnic minority women in some parts of Asia, some business managers from textile industry
have developed some production lines by applying the traditional skills to Computer-Aided Designs
(CAD). The products have boosted the companies’ sales which in turn have increased their
investment in preserving traditional skills for further developing their technologies.
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To conclude, traditional skills and life styles are increasingly becoming a useful alternative to the Commented [@IELTSBlg96]: lifestyle
homogeneity brought by global applications of modern technologies. However, the evolution of
technologies is a selection process, whereby some would become obsolete, but there is no doubt
that some would thrive when their roles are appreciated.
This is a good essay. The requirements of the task statement are covered, the arguments
make sense and are presented in a coherent, easy to follow way, the range of vocabulary
is wide enough and the writer shows fluency and flexibility. There are only a few errors.
Overall this looks like an IELTS Band 8 essay.
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high
school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or
teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that voluntary services like charity, cleaning the neighborhood, imparting knowledge to Commented [@IELTSBlg97]: ‘such as’ would be a
the underprivileged, etc. should be made mandatory in the high school curriculum. I strongly better choice here
agree to this as it not only helps in students becoming socially responsible adults but also in shaping Commented [@IELTSBlg98]: avoid using ‘etc’ in
formal writing as it makes an impression of a
their character. lazy writer
Commented [@IELTSBlg99]: ‘with this view’ is
Firstly, community service inculcates a sense of responsibility towards the society, something that more appropriate here
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is needed to shape a good society. For instance, the introduction of Swatch Bharath scheme in my
school, The Hyderabad Public School, ten years ago taught me not only to keep the surroundings of
the school clean but also to never litter wherever I go. Hence, now I feel responsible to maintain
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cleanliness everywhere. Such services are needed to develop a better society in the future.
Secondly, voluntary services cater to the overall character development of an individual.

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It inculcates a feeling of empathy in children which is needed to build a better character. For Commented [@IELTSBlg100]: consider using a
example, an alumnus of Montessori High School, who indulged in petty law-breaking activities during synonym such as ‘instill’ or ‘ingrain’ to sound
less repetitive
school confessed that it was the charity service that he did in high school; which engraved deep
Commented [@IELTSBlg101]: a more appropriate
ideas and thoughts in his mind; helped him in becoming a better person for his family and refrained word would be ‘implanted’
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him from committing socially irresponsible acts. Thus, such voluntary activities teach us to value Commented [@IELTSBlg102]: a better order is
what we have and in turn contributes to our personality development. ‘ideas and deep thoughts’
Commented [@IELTSBlg103]: this helped
That being said, we cannot deny the fact that many students misuse the time allocated for these Commented [@IELTSBlg104]: subject-verb
services by considering it as an excursion to enjoy with friends rather than a learning experience. agreement requires ‘contribute’ here
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Commented [@IELTSBlg105]: This paragraph could

be developed a bit better – one sentence isn’t
In conclusion, although compulsory voluntary community service has its drawbacks, it is still useful
enough to form a paragraph
in shaping a child as a socially responsible citizen and also in their overall personality development.
Therefore, pupils should be encouraged to involve themselves in such activities.
This is a well written essay. It addresses all parts of the task and the arguments and ideas
are developed and supported. The information is presented in a logical order and the ideas
are linked by appropriate connective words. The use of vocabulary conveys the exact
meaning of the writer and there are only minor instances of a word being used somewhat
unnaturally. Sentence formation demonstrates a high level of control and very few errors.
Overall this essay seems good enough for IELTS Band 8 level.
Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that
life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and
disadvantages of both places?
Living in the rural area is thought as the best option for children by a group of people, while others Commented [@IELTSBlg106]: ‘thought of as /
believe that cities offer more opportunities. In my opinion, if the city offers security and green areas, considered’ are better word choices here
I agree it is a better place to raise the next generation enjoying some advantages from both sides. Commented [@IELTSBlg107]: the linking word
‘while’ should be used here, as in ‘while
enjoying’
Firstly, the countryside let children be in touch with nature, taking care of animals and helping with
Commented [@IELTSBlg108]: ‘of’ is a better choice
the gardening. Because of that, they learn how to protect the environment and to live without any
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of preposition here than ‘from’

technological equipment. Besides that, they have more freedom to play outside the house without
Commented [@IELTSBlg109]: ‘lets children be’ or
any security worries, whereas in the city they are kept at home using smartphones and computers ‘allows children to be’ are the correct forms
for this reason. On the other hand, schools usually have lower quality and it is hard to find Commented [@IELTSBlg110]: ‘and driven towards
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extracurricular classes. Therefore, children have difficulties trying to develop their abilities besides using’ is a clearer way to say this
the school curriculum. Commented [@IELTSBlg111]: ‘face’ is a better

word choice here
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However, schools at metropolitan areas tend to have better quality and offer all kinds of activities.
Even if there is a sport or an art course that the institution does not offer, it is possible to look for it
in another place around the city. As a result, all children’s talents and passions can be easier to
develop. On the other hand, security, pollution and low contact with nature are issues that we have Commented [@IELTSBlg112]: ‘lack of’ is a more
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to worry about. The better option would be a city with an excellent quality of life where children appropriate way to say this
could play in parks and gardens.
To sum up, growing up in the countryside can be very positive for someone’s childhood, but the city
will usually offer better opportunities for their talents’ development.
lg
This is a well written essay. It talks about all parts of the task and the arguments and
ideas are extended and supported by some examples. The information is sequenced in a
logical way and most of the ideas are linked using appropriate connective words. The
choice of vocabulary is suitable to express the meaning of the writer, though in some
instances word choice can be improved further. Most sentences are error-free and
demonstrate various levels of complexity. Overall this essay seems good enough to
deserve IELTS Band 8.
Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit
of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your
opinion.
People have different views on how medical research should be conducted and tested. Although
many people support the use of animal experimentations for developing medicines, I personally Commented [@IELTSBlg113]: the correct form is
believe that animal testing is morally wrong. ‘animal experiments’ or ‘animal experimentation’
The main reason why some people value animal experimentations to conduct medical research is Commented [@IELTSBlg114]: the correct form is
because animal testing has contributed to many life-saving cures and treatments. It is true that ‘animal experiments’ or ‘animal experimentation’
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nearly every medical breakthrough in the last 100 years has resulted directly from research using
animals. For example, experiments in which dogs had their pancreases removed led directly to the
discovery of insulin, critical to saving the lives of diabetics. Furthermore, it is impossible to
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release new drugs to the market before proving it has no harm to humans and laboratory mice are Commented [@IELTSBlg115]: the correct form is ‘a
appropriate research subjects because they are similar to human beings in many ways. new drug’, the article ‘a’ is missing
Commented [@IELTSBlg116]: ‘does’ is the correct
verb here
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However, I support with people who consider medical development that involved the use of
animals is cruel and unacceptable. I believe that the lives of all creatures should be respected and Commented [@IELTSBlg117]: the preposition ‘with’
is not appropriate here, it is not needed
we, humans, have no right to suffer animals for our own benefits. Governments should invest in
Commented [@IELTSBlg118]: ‘to be’ is the correct
developing alternative methods that can replace using animal experimentations when doing medical verb form here
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research. For example, a software program can be developed to model a human immune system Commented [@IELTSBlg119]: ‘make animals suffer’
and new drugs can be tested on the software rather than animals. In this way, no animals will suffer is the correct form here
from the medical tests and the society can still benefit from medical development. Commented [@IELTSBlg120]: the correct form is
‘animal experiments’ or ‘animal experimentation’
In conclusion, although it is undoubtedly true that animal testing has helped scientists in drug
lg
developments and medical discoveries, I believe that the benefits to humans do not justify the
suffering caused to animals and we should use alternative methods when doing medical research
that do not involve animals suffering.
This is a great essay. It addresses the two sides of the argument by exploring reasons
why animals should and should not be used in medical research. The ideas are well
explained and supported by examples. The use of paragraphing is efficient and helps with
logical sequencing of ideas. Linking words are used appropriately to achieve the necessary
cohesion. Author’s meaning is skillfully conveyed by the use of wide range of vocabulary.
Even though there are some inaccurately used expressions, they don’t hinder
understanding. Most sentences are error-free, instances of faulty grammar are rare.
Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages
of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Museums are educational places which are beneficial for people in societies. However, these days,
people have to pay an entrance fee to enter many museums. Although this phenomenon can lead
to negative effects, I believe that there are for more positive effects. Commented [@IELTSBlg121]: this is a spelling
mistake, the writer meant ‘far’
It cannot be denied that price of tickets can bring about detrimental impacts to people, societies,
and the museums themselves. From people’s perspective, they are discouraged to visit the museum
and not able to access useful information and knowledge freely, particularly the poor because they
@
cannot afford such amount. From societies’ perspective, citizens have fewer opportunities to access
vitally significant places to learn history, science, art, and many other essential subjects. From
museums’ perspective, they cannot attain one of their objectives to educate people. Moreover, they
IE
may have to close down as they lose more of their customers.
Despite aforementioned disadvantages, I am convinced that to charge for admission figures brings Commented [@IELTSBlg122]: the correct
expression is ‘charging for admission’ or
LT
about a myriad of advantages. Firstly, museums will have money to operate which covers their
‘charging admission fees’
business overhead such as personnel cost, equipments, electricity and water bills. Secondly, the
Commented [@IELTSBlg123]: the noun ‘equipment’
museums can generate their own revenue to improve the place effectively to attract people, for has no plural form
example, to update their exhibits and keep the place clean and good-looking. Having visited many
SB
museums myself, I have learnt that many museums which sell tickets are better than those that do
not charge for tickets in terms of places, information, and management.
In conclusion, although I recognize that the museums ticket sales can cause drawbacks to
stakeholders in societies, I believe that museums should not remain free for all so as to be operated
lg
and developed most effectively.
This is a great example of a Band 8 essay. The test-taker covered both the advantages
and the disadvantages of museums charging an admission fee. The ideas are conveyed,
extended and supported with relevant examples. The order in which the information is
presented makes sense, and there is sufficient use of linking words. The range of
vocabulary is impressive. Even though there are some instances of less-than-accurate
word choice, most of this essay is error-free. Grammatical errors are also rare here. All in
all, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.
Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are
the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards
international tourism?
Many individuals think that foreign tourism brings negative effects to their countries. There are
several reasons for such negative attitude towards international travelers. However, a couple of
solutions could be adopted to handle this situation, as will now be discussed.
International tourists are often criticized for their contribution to the environmental degradation. It
has continuously been noticed that they throw rubbish in their surroundings irresponsibly, which
@
increases the amount of litter everywhere, despite all attempts to reduce waste produced by the
local community. This contributes to water, air and soil contamination.
IE
Furthermore, foreign tourism has a harmful influence on traditional customs and indigenous
practices of host countries because many tourists are careless and insensitive about the emotions Commented [@IELTSBlg124]: ‘to’ is the correct
and feelings of local residents. For instance, in India, some foreign travelers wear inappropriate preposition here
LT
clothes or expose too much of skin when they visit sacred places, which leads to some negative
attitude and irritation in the local public. Commented [@IELTSBlg125]: irritates
However, this situation can be improved adopting different solutions which could be handled by the Commented [@IELTSBlg126]: by adopting (the
preposition ‘by’ is missing)
SB
government. The government should explain the benefits of international tourism which contributes
to the development of local residents. They not only spend money in shops and restaurants but also Commented [@IELTSBlg127]: the writer means
create jobs in service industries, and this aspect could be publicized. Additionally, the government ‘economy’, not ‘residents’
should increase the awareness among the foreigners through different media such as roadside
billboards and advertisements, and tourists should be encouraged to get rid of rubbish correctly.
lg
In conclusion, the inhospitable feeling that the local people have for international tourists can be
explained in many ways. However, in my opinion, the government’s involvement is essential to
change the negative attitude by citing various advantages of international tourism to their country
and raising awareness among tourists in order to protect local habitats.
This essay covers the entire task topic by exploring both reasons for negative attitude
towards international tourism and some possible actions to change it. The writer explains
why locals may resent international tourists and suggests what steps can be taken to
transform the way people feel about foreigners in their country. The information is well-
organised by the use of paragraphing, and the writer moves from one idea to the next
effortlessly, with the help of linking words. A wide range of vocabulary is used, including
less common words such as “degradation”, ”inhospitable”, “habitat”, “awareness” and
“sacred”. Instances of inaccurate word choice are rare, and even these slips don’t cause
difficulty for the reader. Overall, this looks like a Band 8 essay.
Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important
and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the advent of the Internet, advertisements, originally displayed only on TV, billboards, posters
and so on, are becoming increasingly ubiquitous and commonplace for the general public. In my
view, this kind of impact could be both crucial and, on a certain level, detrimental.
On the one hand, this phenomenon could denote that although we have already had a diverse range
of advertisement, people are still capable of inventing innovative approaches catering for all kinds Commented [@IELTSBlg128]: the writer means
of requirements of advertising. It is a symbol that demonstrates the creativity rooted in human ‘advertisements’
@
beings. Apart from that, it also represents that the speed of spreading information is conspicuously
escalating. More purposeful is, therefore, the fact that, besides booming of the advertising, it
constitutes a major reason why people could be so prosperous in this digital age.
IE
On the other hand, there are various unpleasant consequences as well. Firstly, with the
omnipresent advertisement, it could potentially cause people to do impulsive shopping. Secondly, Commented [@IELTSBlg129]: the writer means
‘advertising’
LT
the advertisement, if regulated in a mismanaged method, could make people constantly feel
uncomfortable or annoyed. In this sense, instead of being an instrumental tool to promote amenities, Commented [@IELTSBlg130]: the writer means
‘advertising’
advertisements could be considered a hindrance when people are frequently blocked by them.
Commented [@IELTSBlg131]: the writer means
Furthermore, it would cost one precious time to have to sift the helpful ad from a host of others. ‘manner’ or ‘way’
SB
In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, advertising is a beneficial phenomenon for all with a number
of insignificant drawbacks. I believe that in the future we can improve the way advertising is done
at present, and embrace the positive influence of advertising even further in the long run.
lg
This essay is another example of what Band 8 writing may look like. It’s weak point is
that the author goes slightly off-topic while trying to discuss whether advertising affects
what people view as important and instead talks about the reason advertising is spreading
and about human creativity. However, the other part of task type (negative effects of
advertising) is covered well, the ideas are well-developed and supported. There is a clear
logical flow of information and a range of transitional words is used appropriately to
sequence ideas. The way author uses synonyms to rephrase the task topic in the intro
paragraph demonstrates their lexical skill, which is also evident in other parts of this
essay. There are many complex sentences and very few errors. Overall, this essay seems
worthy of IELTS Band 8.0.
The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and
to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
In today’s world the number of traffic accidents is constantly rising as well as the number of injuries
and deaths they cause. A better regulative approach is required for traffic accidents can be reduced. Commented [@IELTSBlg132]: ‘so that’ is the right
Some people say that changing the drivers’ age limits is the best solution to the problem. However, connective to use here
there are other, more practical ways to deal with this problem.
@
One alternative is imposing heavier fines at the drivers who exceed the permitted alcohol Commented [@IELTSBlg133]: ‘on’ is the right
consumption. According to recent datas, a great proportion of traffic accidents has alcohol as its preposition here
reason. Utilising technology and installing devices that detect drunk drivers and lock car ignition can Commented [@IELTSBlg134]: ‘data’ is the correct
plural form, or you can use ‘reports’ or ‘statistics’
IE
be used to keep people with track record of drunk driving off the roads. On some occasions and for
repeat offenders in particular, a prison sentence may also be considered.
Furthermore, people should be better educated and more careful while behind the wheel. To be more
LT
specific, people should learn to obey road rules and respect the other drivers instead of causing
tension or submitting to road rage. In addition, heavy fines should also be levied for exceeded speed
limits. Last but not least, safer and wider roads should be constructed to make for easier and more
comfortable driving.
SB
Tightening age limits for drivers can be a complementary approach. For example, the elderly with
vision problems or other important health issues should be excluded from driving. Besides, young
people under 18 years old are considered immature to drive. However, maturity does not necessarily
lg
always increases with one’s age, which is why other measures are needed to reducing dangerous Commented [@IELTSBlg135]: ‘to reduce’ is the
driving. correct verb form here
In conclusion, I believe that stronger measures should be implemented for the prevention of traffic
accidents, and drivers should have a more responsible attitude. Setting age limits could be helpful
but should not be considered the optimal and only solution to the problem.
The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. There is a logical organisation of
information and effective use of paragraphing. The range of vocabulary is wide enough
for the student to show flexibility and accuracy of expression. Overall, the control of
grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made. The essay is up to the
mark and is likely to get Band 8 in IELTS.
Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruin one’s health completely. What is
your opinion?
Some argue that dieting has an extraordinary impact on one’s life, whereas others are of a view that
it absolutely adversely affects a person’s health. It cannot be denied that dieting taken to extremes
may cause more harm than good, however, in my opinion effective dieting is pivotal for maintaining
good health and keeping a more attractive body shape.
@
First of all, the possibility of increasing level of physical health lies with incorporating proper dieting
in our lives. It is reasonable to suggest that dieting is effective for controlling our body weight within
an ideal range in order to achieve the normal score of body mass index (BMI), which is essential for
IE
preventing us from being overweight or obese. As a result, the risk of suffering an obese- Commented [@IELTSBlg136]: ‘becoming’ is a
related illness will be reduced. A recent research concluded that dieting is one of the most effective better word choice
measures to cut down one’s body weight among the obese group, and it helps to improve their Commented [@IELTSBlg137]: obesity-related
LT
medical condition indirectly.
Moreover, dieting is crucial for keeping ideal body features regardless of gender and age. A fit and
presentable body outlook absolutely boosts up one’s confident level in his or her social life, not to Commented [@IELTSBlg138]: ‘confidence’ is the
mention professions that require keeping one’s body in an attractive physical shape. For example, right word
SB
dieting is adopted as a popular way for reducing weight among actors and actresses. A recent article
reported that an actress who successfully regained her slim body after a period of dieting was offered
an excellent job opportunity in the Hollywood film industry.
lg
In conclusion, dieting has a positive influence on one’s life in terms of maintaining a profound level
of health and keeping a more attractive body outlook.
The writer’s opinion is very clear from the start and throughout the entire essay.
Paragraphing is used effectively to organise ideas and information. The use of advanced
vocabulary enables accuracy of expression and highlights flexibility. Overall, the control
of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made. The essay is a good
example of an IELTS Band 8 work.
Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school

program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
More and more young adults in our country are heavily indebted. Thus, it is considered by some that
it should be mandatory to educate school children in the administration of money. In my opinion, Commented [@IELTSBlg139]: ‘about’ is the right
people should not leave school without a sound knowledge of financial management. preposition
To begin with, a country’s development is strongly dependend upon the purchasing capacity of its Commented [@IELTSBlg140]: ‘dependent’ is the
@
inhabitants. That is to say, people who are in debt or financially vulnerable, would not be able to right word
spend freely or invest, for example, in a new house, thus hindering the economic growth of the
country. As a consequence, the rate of inflation would rise and people would be able to afford even
IE
less, which could ultimately result in the collapse of the entire economy. A good example of this
vicious circle can be seen in countries such as Argentina, where people have to buy household items
in the black market, because they cannot afford to buy them in regular stores due to skyrocketing
LT
prices. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to teach children early in money management. Commented [@IELTSBlg141]: ‘about’ is the right
preposition here
Another point to consider is the low standard of living that people have when they mismanage their
finances. Individuals who are constantly short of money could eventually end up being socially
isolated and unhappy, because they couldn’t afford to participate in leisure activities, such as going
SB
to the cinema with a friend, resulting in their withdraw from social life. However, this could be Commented [@IELTSBlg142]: ‘withdrawal’ is the
avoided with ease by offering courses in money management. right word here
In conclusion, I strongly believe that school children should be taught how to manage their finances
lg
to prevent social isolation later in their life as well as to maintain the economic force of their country.
The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. Paragraphing is used effectively to
organise ideas and information, however the paragraphs could have been balanced better
in terms of the amount of content. The advanced vocabulary the writer uses creates a
good impression of mature and fluent writer. Overall, the control of grammar and
punctuation is fine, and the number of errors is small. The essay could achieve Band 8 in
IELTS.
Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly

common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help
children stay healthy?
For many years obesity was perceived as a condition occurring only in adult life. However, in recent
years the number of children suffering from obesity has grown significantly. There are several causes
and numerous solutions which can be used to tackle this worrying phenomenon, and this essay will
present a couple of them.
While some reasons for childhood obesity are genetic, others include poor food choices exacerbated
@
by easy availability of fast food, insufficient physical activity and a history of family members being
overweight. Unlike the former, the latter factors can be changed, if the adults in the child’s life gain
awareness and are willing to take action.
IE
To begin with, health is a complex matter which requires a balanced approach. In other words, there
isn’t a single solution to maintain health, on the contrary, it is rather a mixture of multiple factors,
LT
such as healthy dieting and regular physical activity. For this reason, increasing the awareness of Commented [@IELTSBlg143]: ‘a healthy diet’ is the
healthy habits among children is a responsibility of utmost importance. What is more, it can be easily right expression here
achieved through the education system.

SB
On the other hand, children’s education might be not sufficient enough to stop the situation from Commented [@IELTSBlg144]: ‘not be sufficient’ is
worsening. Along with well designed health education schemes, we should also try to stop food the right way to say this
companies from overusing sugar in products dedicated to the young ones. It has been proven that Commented [@IELTSBlg145]: ‘intended for’ is the
more than 70% of the products available in an average supermarket contain dangerously high levels right expression here
of white sugar. Sugar rich diet not only causes a significant weight gain, but also contributes to
lg
diseases, such as diabetes in young population.
To summarize, emphasis put on the awareness of healthy living among children is invaluable.
Furthermore, combining healthy habits with stopping food companies from overdosing sugar in Commented [@IELTSBlg146]: ‘using too much
products which are easily accessible for children can be effectively implemented by the governments. sugar’ is the right expression here
Positive outcomes of such measures taken today will definitely have a long lasting effect on the Commented [@IELTSBlg147]: ‘available to’ is a
better way to say this
future generations.
This is a well developed response to the question. Relevant key points are included in the
answer. Appropriate examples are also used to corroborate the writer’s point of view.
Paragraphing is skillfully managed, information and ideas are logically sequenced. A wide
range of vocabulary is used to allow certain flexibility and precision. Also, a variety of
sentence structures is used. Accuracy of expression needs some attention (see
corrections underlined in blue). Overall, the essay could achieve Band 8 in IELTS.
Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on the history and
art of their own country rather than the works of art of other parts of the world. To what
extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is sometimes argued that museums and art galleries need to place great emphasis on the history
and art of their own nation instead of the works of art of other countries. In my opinion, both types
of category should be equally underlined by these sectors.
In order to raise the public awareness of their past, museums and art galleries alike should focus on Commented [@IELTSBlg148]: about
gathering the local artefacts. Local people should be made aware of their ancient sculpture,
@
subscriptions, and antiques as all of these are essential for their national identity. In this way, we
can also pave the way for younger generations to get to know their ancestral legacy. British National Commented [@IELTSBlg149]: let them
Museum can be a good example of this because many British schoolchildren go there. They can be
IE
given an ideal opportunity to have a good grasp of their own entity. Therefore, collection of the local
artefacts should be one of the top priorities of museums and art galleries.
LT
As well as the native works of art, the art sector should focus on the art of other countries since it
can encourage international tourism. If a museum take concrete actions to gather artefacts from Commented [@IELTSBlg150]: takes
far-flung corners of the world, it may establish a reputation in this matter. Consequently, many
tourists may be tempted to visit the museum since they are likely to find an antique of their own
SB
country. It can be seen that Louvre museum, which is located in Paris, attracts millions of tourists
annually simply because it is renowned for the collection of different kinds of art from faraway places
around the globe.
In conclusion, I would argue that both local and international art collection should be on the agenda
lg
because they play an indispensable role in helping the locals’ identity and tourism, respectively.
All the parts of the task have been covered fairly well. The response presents a well ‐
developed position that answers all parts of the task prompt with suitable, widely covered
and well‐supported ideas. The paragraphing is handled suitably and appropriately. The
range of vocabulary allows the writer to communicate the exact meanings. Overall the
control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made.
Estimated Band Score: 8.5
New stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some
people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion?
In recent years, journalism has undergone drastic changes and has adopted a variety of new
strategies and probably the most significant one is incorporating pictures in news reports and TV
shows. Many people regard it as a positive change, while others criticize this attitude. However, I
am of the opinion that it could be deemed a great improvement.
On the one hand, opponents propound the idea that using pictures instead of written recount of
events would undermine the traditional journalism methods and would also lead to poor performance Commented [@IELTSBlg151]: the methods of
@
of reporters in future. Most critics immensely eulogize traditions in their profession and argue that
it is the most important characteristic for a proficient and skillful journalist to be able to elaborate a
situation and give an account of an event exclusively using words so that the readers can visualize
IE
it without any photos. Therefore, it is not far-fetched to suggest that using pictures might contradict
the soul of journalism and is not in congruence with its values.
LT
On the other hand, proponents mention several upsides to utilizing visual tools and enthusiastically Commented [@IELTSBlg152]: merits
support the recent changes and evolutions. They believe that using photos in reports not only would
not have detrimental effects and repercussions but would also attract more audience and hence Commented [@IELTSBlg153]: would have positive
culminate in flourishing and thriving news industry, which, in fact is more impressive and influential. impacts
SB
As a case in point, a single photo of a city annihilated during the war would profoundly impress
public and effectively involve their emotions. Thus, it seems that photojournalism has become such
an inevitable and essential part of reporting that is not possible to be omitted or neglected.
All things considered, it seems to me that despite all objections, utilizing photos in news stories,
lg
newspapers and magazines is deemed a great asset which cannot be neglected.
Other than a few inaccuracies, the essay is great.

Estimated Band Score: 8.5
Finding job satisfaction is considered to be a luxury in many developing countries. Why

do you think that is? Do you think job satisfaction is important?
A feeling of fulfilment or enjoyment that a person derives from their job is widely perceived as a
main objective. However, job satisfaction is often perceived to be a far-fetched goal in many
developing nations. This may flow from low wages and poor management. Commented [@IELTSBlg154]: Be caused by
Of all those reasons leading to job dissatisfaction, low salary is the most influential one. It is a Commented [@IELTSBlg155]: significant
widespread belief that a lack of monetary motivation in terms of salary and wages and job Commented [@IELTSBlg156]: the
demotivation are closely intertwined. For example, employees, if feel that their work performance
@
Commented [@IELTSBlg157]: this phrase brings

does not correspond with their payment, they are more likely to lose their morale. Accordingly, some ambiguity in the sentence
receiving low salary, employees might deem that their efforts are not being either recognized or Commented [@IELTSBlg158]: if employees
appreciated, which could evoke a great deal of workplace dissatisfaction. Commented [@IELTSBlg159]: to
IE
Commented [@IELTSBlg160]: job

The second factor greatly contributing to employee demotivation is the relationship between
managers and their teams. A manager, even unwittingly, may have given rise to disaffection. For
LT
instance, being overly zealous regarding employees performance evaluation could breed discontent,
perceived as a lack of trust in other people’s abilities. Thus, not only does poor work relationship
negatively affect their productivity, but it also renders them disenchanted, thereby inhibiting them
from deriving great satisfaction from their job.
SB
It goes without saying that job satisfaction is of great importance to both individuals and companies.
It is conspicuous that job satisfaction could foster workers’ self-esteem and productivity mainly due
to the fact that they are prone to have more outstanding job achievements. Corporations,
meanwhile, can reap the benefits of increased job satisfaction. A number of recent workplace studies
lg
have shown that encouraging management to focus on strategies that increase job satisfaction
creates a more productive workforce and higher rates of business success. Commented [@IELTSBlg161]: higher success rate
in business
In conclusion, it undeniable that developing countries are confronted with job satisfaction by virtue
of mismanagement and insufficient salary; however, if provided wisely, it not only ameliorates
employees’ self-assertiveness and also boosts business growth. Commented [@IELTSBlg162]: but
This is a very good essay. The writer sufficiently addresses all parts of the task and
presents a well-developed response. He/she manages all aspects of cohesion well and
uses paragraphing sufficiently.

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High Band Score Corrected Essays (+8) Prepared by @IELTSBlg

Estimated Band Score: 8

increase their problem-solving, logical thinking, and reasoning abilities.

Estimated Band Score: 8

come to realize the consequences of their actions.

Commented [@IELTSBlg9]: plural form ‘campaigns’

In conclusion, while individual awareness is key to maintaining a healthy ecosystem, concerted

Estimated Band Score: 8

Commented [@IELTSBlg14]: the writer means

Estimated Band Score: 8

populations of countries grow older.

Estimated Band Score: 8

and alleviates the challenges faced by an ageing population.

welfare of individuals and adversely impact the economy.

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

Commented [@IELTSBlg30]: ‘as’ isn’t needed here

Estimated Band Score: 8

productivity. Consequently, compensations and salaries have increased.

technology’s contribution to bridging the wealth gap.

Estimated Band Score: 8

is “from working hard”

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

Commented [@IELTSBlg61]: and

of character and adopt a behavioral pattern of their own.

Estimated Band Score: 8

some recent examples are ‘Kungfu Panda’ and ‘The Mummy’.

Estimated Band Score: 8

of those who are not fond of parties.

Estimated Band Score: 8

place for such jobs.

Estimated Band Score: 8

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Estimated Band Score: 8

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Commented [@IELTSBlg92]: on rehabilitation

Estimated Band Score: 8

Furthermore, conventional skills provide innovative ideas to the development of modern

Estimated Band Score: 8

Secondly, voluntary services cater to the overall character development of an individual.

Commented [@IELTSBlg105]: This paragraph could

Estimated Band Score: 8

of preposition here than ‘from’

the school curriculum. Commented [@IELTSBlg111]: ‘face’ is a better

could play in parks and gardens.

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

may have to close down as they lose more of their customers.

and developed most effectively.

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

Estimated Band Score: 8

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medical condition indirectly.

Estimated Band Score: 8