Unit II

Detailed:

Oliver Goldsmith's Beau Tibbs at Home

Non-Detailed:

Stephen Leacock's With the Photographer

 34
hatdt
co-0-o#0-o-00
BEAU TLBBS
OLIVER GOLDSMITH
on, her back, was attempting sing ballads, but with such
to 35
miournful'voice that it was dificplt to determine whether. public walks near [the oity. Here Walk Slowl
for time, either praising the
some
wesauntered together
she was singing or crying.
AWetch
distress still aimcd at good-humour,who
in the deepest beauty
handsome, or the dresses of such as had of such as were
was an
object my recoimend them. We had nothing clse to
friend was by no means capable of for somo time, when my
gone thus deliberately forward
withstanding; his friond,
vivacity and his discourse were-instantly caugit me by the clbow, and led stopping
on a
interrupted; sudden,
apon this occasion his very dissimulation had forsaken walk. I could percoive by the
me out of the
public
him. Even in my presence, he quickness of his
by his frequently looking behind, that he was pace, and
immediately applied hi_
hands to his pockets, in order to relieve
her; but guess to avoid attempting
bis confusion, when he found he had somebody who followed; we now turned to the
already given away right, then to the left; as we went forward, he still went
all the money he carried about faster, but in vain; tho person whom he attempted to
The misery painted in the woman's
him to former objects.
visae was not half escape, hunted us through every doubling, and gained
io strongly expressed as the agony in his. He upon us cach moment; so that at last we fairly stood
continued
o search for some time, but to no purposc, till, at still, resolving to face what we could not avoid.
length,
ecollecting himself, with a face of ineffable good-nature,
Our pursuor soon came
s he had no money, he put into her hands his
shilling's up,,and joined us with all the
worth of matches. familiarity of an old acquaäfance. My doar Charles,'
cries he, shaking my friend's hand, 'where have
you
been hiding this half a century ? Positively I had fancied
Wondom
BEAU you were gone down to cultivatc matrimony and your
noo
TIBBShi1m@ se Tvcaveje7 estate in the country ', During the reply I had an
oppor
yet I am fond of gay com
Though naturally pensive, tunity of surveying the appearance of our new companion.
any, and take every oportunity of thus dismissing the His hat was pinched up with peculiar smartness; his
aind from duty. From this motive I am often found in looks were palo, thin, and sharp; round his neck he
he centrc of a crowed : and wherever pleasure is to be wore a broad black ribbon, and in his bosom
a buckle
old, am always a purchaser. In those places, without studded with glass; his coat was trimmed with tarîished
cing remarked by any, I join in whatever goes foryerd; twist; he wore by his side a sword with a black hilt, and Hand/e
frivolous earnest- his stookings of silk, though newly washed, were grown
Work my passions into a similitude of
ess, shout as they shout,
and condemn as they happen yellow by long sorvice. I was so much engaged with the
for awhile below its
disapprove. A mind thus sunk peculiarity of his dress, that I attended only to the latter
as those
natural standard, is qualiied for stronger flights. part of my friend's reply, in wbich he complimented
Tst retirewho would spring forward with greater vigour. Mr. Tibbs on the taste of his olothes, and the bloom in his
countenance, "Psha, psha, Charles, cried the igure,
Attracted by the serenity of the evening, friend and
a
n o more of that if you love me;: you know I hate-ilattery,
in of
company one the
lately went to gaze upon the
 36 BBAU TIBBS
on my soul I do ; and yet, to be sure, an intimacy with
the great will improve one's appcarance, and a course of
venison will fatten; and yet, faith, I despise the great
as much as you do but there are a great many honest
fellows among them; and wemust not, quarrel with onne
half because the other wantsBreëGing." If they were all
such as my Lord Mudler, one of the most good natured
creatures that ever squeezed a lemon, I should myself
be among the number of their admirers. I was yesterd y
to dine at the Duchess of Piccadilly's. My lord was
there. Ned', says he to me, Ned', says he, *I'11
hold gold to silver I can tell where you were poaching
last night'. *Poaching, my lord? says I; *faith, yoy
have missed already; for I stayed at home, and let
the girls pöäch for me. That's my way; I take a fine
woman as some anjmals do thcir prey; stand still1, and
sWoop, they fali into my mouth'.
Ah, Tibbs, thou art an happy fellow', cried my
companion, with looks of infinite pity; I hope your
fortune . is as much improved as your undertanding in
such company?' Improved ', replied the other; ' you
shall know-but let it go no further-a great secret
five hundred a year to begin with. My lord's word of
honour for it. His lordship took me down in his own
chariot yesterday, and we had a !ete-a-iete dianer in the
country; where we taiked of nothing else." I fancy
you forgot, sir', cried I; 'you told us but this moment
of your dining yesterday in town.'. Did I say so?
repliedhe coolly. To be sure, if I said so it was so.
Dined in town: egad, now I do remember, I did dine
in town; but I dined in the country too; for you must
know, my boys. I eat two dinners. By the bye, I am
grown as nice as the devil in my eating. IIl tell you a
OLIVER GOLDSMTH 37
pleasant affair about that: We were a select party of uus
to dine at Lady Grogram's, an affected piece, but let it
go no further; a secret. Well', says I, «I'll hold a
thousand guineas, and say done first, that- . But.
dear Charles, you are an honest creature, lend me half-a-
crown for a minute or two, or so, just till But,
harkee, ask me for it the next time we meet, or it may be
twenty to one but I forget to pay you '.
When he left us, our conversation naturally turned
upon so extraordinary a character. HHis very dress',
cries my friend, 'is not less extraordinary than his conduct.
If you meet him this day you fnd him in rags; if the next,
in embroidery. With those persons of distinction, of whom
he talks so familiarly, he has scarce a coffee-house acquain
tance. However, both for the interests of society, and
perhaps for his own, Heaven has made him poor; and
while all the world perceives hls wants, he fancies them
concealed from every eye. An agrecable companion,.
because he understands flattery; and all must be pleased
with the îrst part of his conversation, though all are sute
of its ending with a demand on their purse. While his
youth countenances the levity of his conduct, he may thus
earn a precarious subsistence; but when age comes on, the.
gravity of which is incompatible with buffoonery, theaooirs
will he find himself forsaken by all; condemned, in the:7
decline gf.te, to hang upon some rich family whom he
once despisca, there to undergo all the ingenuity of studied
contempt, to be employed only as a spy upon the servants,.
or a bug-bear to fright children into duty'.
BEAU TIBBS AT HOME A 2
There are some
acquaintances whom it is no easy
matter to shake off. My little beau yesterday overtook
 BEAU TBBS AT HOME
me again in one of the public walks, and, slapping OLIVER GOLDSMITH
the shoulder, saluted me on 39
mewith an air of the
familiarity. His dress
was the same as
most perfect Creolian, and I, sometimes make
usual, except that party at being ridicu-
a
he had more powder in his lous and so we say and dothousand things for
a
hair; wore a the
temple spectacles, anddirtier
had on a pair of shirt, and joke's sake. But I see you are grave; and
his arm. his hat under fine grave sentimental if you are for a
companion, you shall dine with
my wife to-day; I must insist on't; I'il
introduce you
As I knew him to be an to Mrs. Tibbs, a
lady of as elegant
in nature; she was bred, but that'squalifications
I could not return his harmless amusing little any as
smiles
with any degree of thing between ourselves,
so we walked
forward on the terms of the
utmost
severity; under the inspection of the Countess of
Shoreditch. A
all the usual intimacy,
and in a few minutes charming body of voice But no more of
discussed that; she shall
Jiminary to particular conversation. topics pre- give us a song. You shall see my little girl too. Carolina
Oul
he WilbeIma Amelia Tibbs, a sweet pretty creature;
I design.
The oddities that marked her for my Lord Drumstick's
his character,
however, soon eldest son; but that's in.
began to appear; he bowed to several well-dressed
friendship, let it go no further; she's but six years old, a
persons, who, by their manner of and yet she walks amínuet, and plays on the guitar
appeared perfect strangers. returning the compliment, immensely already.|I intend she shall be as perfect as
At intervals he drew out
a
pocket-book, seeming to take possible in every accomplishment In the first place I'l1
all the company, with
much importance and memorandums before make her a scholar; I'll teach her Greek
myself, and I
In this manner he led me assiduitý. intend to learn that language purposely to instruct her .
eet Mall, fretting at his
through the length of the whole but let that be a secret .
absurdities, and fancying myself
daughed at as well as he by every spectator. Thus saying, without waiting for a reply, he took me.
When we were got to the by the arm and, hauled me along. We passed through
end of our procession, Hang many dark "alleys and winding ways; for, from some.
me', cries he, with on air of
park so thin in my life before;vivacity, \I_ never saw the
there's n'o company at all
motives to me unknown, he seemed to bave a particular-
io-day. Not a single face to be seen . No company ', aversion to every. frequented street; at last, however,
interrupted I, peévishly; no company where there is such
we got to the door of a
dismal-looking house in the outlets.
:a crowd? of the town, where he informed me he chose to reside
Why, man, there is to0 much. What are the for the benefit of the air.
thousands that have bcen
laughing at us but company *?
Lord, my dear ', returned he, with We entered the lower door, which seemed ever to lie
the utmost
humour, you seem immensely chagrined; but, good
hang most hospitably open: and I began to ascend an old and
me; when the world laughs at me, I
And s0 We. are even.
laugh at all the world,
creaking staircase, when, as he mounted to show me the
Lord My Trip, BiIl way, bo demanded whether I delighted in prospects;
Squash, the
to which answering in the affirmative, Then ', says he

77 - 4AAAL
 OLIVER GOLDSMTH
41

BEAU TIBBS AT HOMB from the High-

40
from aparliament man, a friend of mine, but that's a
out of my men in the world;
I shall show you one of the most charming lands, one of the politest
the whole
windows; we shall see the ships sailing, and secret '.
country for twenty miles round, tip top, quite
high. My
for such a time for Mrs. Tibbs' arrival, during
Lord Swamp would give ten thousand guineas We waited some the
tell himn,Ialways love full opportunity of surveying
o n e : but, as I sometimes pleasantly which interval I had
a

to koep my prospects at home, that my friends may come chamber and all its furniture; which
consisted of four
to see me the oftener ' chairs with old wrought bottoms, that hc assured me

a square table that had

been
T
were his wife's,embroidery; lumbering cabinet
Bythis time we were arrived as high as the the airs once jdahnea,
a cradle in one corner, a
mandarin with-
would permit us to ascend, till we came to what he was broken shepherdess, and a
in the other; a round the
facetiously pleased to call the first fioor downthe chimney.: stuck over the chimney; and
out a head, were
he observed,
and knocking at the door, a voice, with a Scotch-accent, unframed pictures, which,
walls several paltry,
from within, demanded, *Wha's there?' My conductor own drawing. What do you think, sir.Ird
were all of his
answered that it was him. But this not satisfying the in the m a n n e r of Grisoni7Pa
of that head in the corner, done
querist, the voice again repeated the demand: to which he, in it; it's my own face : and
There's the true kecping
answered louder than before,
and now the door
opened by an old maid-servant with cautious reluctance
was i t a r though there happens
to be no likeness, a countess offered

me an hundred for
its fellow: I refused her; for, hang it,
know '.
When we were got in, he welcomed me to his house that would be mechanical, you

with great ceremony, and turning to the old woman, asked hhe wife at last, made her appearance, at once a
where her lady was ? Good troth', replied she, the still carryinglma
Slattefn a coquette ; much emaciated, but
and
northern dialect, *she's washing your two shirts at the apologios for oe
the remains of beauty. She made twenty
next
door, because
they have ta ken
an oath against lending
out the tub any longer '. My two shirts!' cries he being seen in such odious dishabille;
but hoped to be'

tone that faltered with confusion, what does the idiot

in a excused, as she had stayod out all night
at VauxhallI
mean?' I ken what I mean well enough ', Gardens with the countess, who was excessively fond of
replied the added she, turning
other; she's washing your two shirts at the next door,
'
the horns. 'And indeed, my doar',
to her husband, his lordship drank your health in a
because- Fire and fury 1 no more of thy
stupid
Cxplanations,' cried he. 'Go and inform bumper ', 'Poor Jack ", cries he, a dear good-natured
her have we
creature, I know he loves me; but I hope, my dcar,
got company. you
Were that Scotch hag', continued h«, no great
turningto mc, to be for ever in thefamily, she would have given orders for dinner? |You need make
never learnpoliteness, nor forget that absurd poisonous preparations neither, there a r e but three of ussomething
accent of hers, or alegant, and little willdo; a turbot, an ortolan, or a -CAeu
S
testify the smallest specimen of breeding the
or
high lifeand yet is Or what do you thiak, my dear ', intcrrupts wite,fod
very surprising too, as I had her
 BEAU TIBBS AT HOME

of a nice pretty bit of ox-cheek, piping hot, and dressedd

with a little of my own sauce
?" The very thing', replies
he; i t will eat best with
some smart bottled beer; but be
sure let's have the sauce his
to
CHARLES LAMB
I hate your immense grace was so fond of
loads of meat; that is
over; extreme disgusting to those who are country
all (1776-1834)
in the least Charles Lamb almost better known as
acquainted with high life. most kindly of men. Born in London in
Elia, was the gentlest and
1775, the son of a lawyer's
By this time clerk, he was well if humbly educated, and spent an
my curiosity began unexciting life as a
appetite to inçrease;
to
the company of fools
28ateand my clerk in the South Sea House. His
devoted himself to looking
private life was a sad one; he
er his sister Mary, who was
make may at first subject to
us smile, but at last never fails
of rendering us its of insanity, in one of which she stabbed her mother to
death (Mary
melancholy. I therefore
pretended to recollect a prior is the Bridget of many
of the essays; something of the gentle
engagement, and after having shown my pathos of their life will
be found in the essay on Dream
Children). As
house, by giving the old servant a respect to the well as essays Lamb wrote a little verse, in the same
gently pathetic strain ;
the door, I took piece of money at and he and his sister, who had also real literary
ability, collaborated
my leave: Mr.. Tibbs assuring me that in tales from Shakespeare retold for children. It is
impossible to
dinner, if I.stayed, would be ready at least in less represent Lamb adequately in a brief anthology; the two essays hich
two hours.| than follow have been chosen to illustrate his ablity in humour and
and his pleasant narrative style.
pathos,

OLD CHINA
I have an almost feminine partiality for old
china.
When I go to see any great house, I enquire for the
china-
Cabin eloset,and next for the picture gallery. I cannot defendd
the order of preference, but by saying, that we have all
some taste or other, of too ancient a date to admit of our
remembering distinctly that it was an acquired one. I
can call to mind the frst play, and the first
that I was taken to; but I am not consious
exhibition,
when china jars and saucers were introduced into
of. a time
my
imagination.
Blve I had norepüguance then-why should I now have?-
Colouretounder
thosethe ittle, lawless, azure-tinctured
notion of men
grotesques, thbat
and women, foat/ about, un-
CNcHECKCircumscribed by any clement, in that /world beforec
perspeCtive-a china tea-cup.
OuOrProPort 10n
DtsRENT VIENs A Drs. AnGes
 NOTES AND EXERCLSES
NOTES AND EXERCISES
xvii
b. The Man in Black often used to say that the provi
B. .

ANSWER BACH OP-TEE

sion made for the poor in FOLLowING IN ABOUT 30 wOROS.
England
was not adequate
Where did the author and his friend
. ....Say whether the statement is true or Jalse. &.
meet Beau
G. He had, however, no easy part to act as he was
Tibbs?
obliged to preserve the appearance of ill-nature before b. What was the reaction of the author's friend on see-
me, and yet to relieve himself by relieving the ing Beaù Tibbs ?
sailor'.s. . Explain. c. Of whom did Beau Tibbs talk most of
the time?
The misery painted in the'woman's visage was not
d. What makes the author think that Beau
half so strongly expressed as the agony in his.
an agreeable companion ?
Tibbs was
Comment.
e. How did a conversation with Beau Tibbs end
rally ? gene
D. a. WrITE ESSAYS ON THE MAN IN BLACK's What is the author's
Beau Tibbs?
moralization on the character of
1. Sordidand selfish maxims (100 words)
2. Appearance of ill-nature (100 words)
3. Real humanity (100 words)
b. Sketch the character of the Man in Black (1000 Words) B. a. A mind thus sunk for a while below
its
standard, is qualified for stronger flights, asnatural
those
first retire who would
BEAU TBBS spring foward with greater
vigour'-Comment.
b. .gad, now I do remember, I did dine in
A. a. Saunter :wanderidly but I dined in the town;
b. Ill hold gold to: manner of betting country too; for you must know,
silver
my boys, I eat two
dinners '-Comment.
c. With those persons of
Tete-a-tete private conversation among inti- distinction, of whomn he talks
mate friends
so
familiarly... ...Complete sentence.
the
d. poaching another's fish d. 'However, both for the interests of society and
taking game or
per-
stealthily ; here referring to hav- haps for his own. Heaven has made him
Explain. poor
ing a clandestine love affair
e.
Egad oath taken in the name of God e.
Pretending to be a member of the aristocracy, Beau
Tibbs managed to substantial iving-sayY
f. Precarious uncertain earn a
whether the statement is true or false.
Avi NOTES AND EXERCISES
NOTES AND EERcaSes
f. The natural. hilarity of Beau Tibbs was perfectly
compatible with his youth.-say whether the state ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOwING
DN ABOUT 30 wORDS
ment is true or false. B. a. Who were the people Beau Tibbs greeted ?
b. Where did Beau Tibbs
live ?
D. a. Write ashort essay the c. What does Beau Tibbs
on peculiarity of Beau Tibb's
his house?
say about the
prospects from
dress (100 words)
b. Try to reconstruct an imaginary dialogue between d. Who opened the door for Beau T+bbs and
the Chinese
Beau Tibbs and one of his accquaintances. Philosopher?
e.How did Mrs. Tibbs look?
BEAU TTBBS AT HOME f. How did the
Chinese Philosopher take leave of Beau
Tibbs and his wife?
A. a. Pówder in his :hair powder; using wigs and hair
hair powder was fashionable in the
eighteenth. century
C. a. I never saw the park so thin in my life before;
b. Temple specta- :Pince-nez; pair of eye glasses there
is no company at all today'-Comment.
cles with a spring to clip the nose
b. In the first place 1'll make her a
c. Chagrined vexed scholar ; I l teachh
her Greek myself, and I intend to leam
d. Minuet a kind of dance
purposely to instruct her ;'Comment.
that language
e. The northern :variety.of English spoken by the c. The Tibbs couple lived in a fashionable
locality very
dialect people of Scotland much beyond their means. Say whether the state-
f. Fire and fury angry oath ment is true or false.

&. Highlands Scotland d. The company of fools may at first make us

smile,
but at last never fails of
h. Japanned :varnished rendering us melancholy.-
Explain.
i. Mandarin :Chineseofficial
j. Grisoni name of an Italian painter
k. A slattern and woman of cheap fashions one
who firts with men D. Write
a coquette a.
Essays on
. A turbot, an delicacies prepared out of fish 1. The boast of Beau Tibbs
Orfolan (turbot) and bird (ortolan) about his wife and
daughter. (100 words)
 NOTES AND EXERCISES NOTES AND EXBRCISBS xxi

to the Chinese Philosopher

.. Piscator angler
2. The reception given
Beau Tibbs (300 words) k. Trout Hall A place mentioned ni The Comp-
at the house of
leat Angler
3. Mrs. Tibbs (300 words)
1. The' Battle of plays by Gcorge Colman
b. Beau Tibs and his wife complement each other- Hexham and
discuss (1000 words) theSurrender
c. Sketch the character of Beau
Tibbs. (1000 words) of Calais
m. Bannister an actor who performed at Drury
Lane
Mrs. Bland : a reputed singer and actress of
CHARLES LAMB the times

(1775-1834) o. The Children : a musical play by Thomas Morton

in the Wood
OLD CHINA P. Lusty brimmers ': expression from a poem by Char-
les Cotton, a favourite poet of
Lamb
A. a. Terra firma : firm earth
kind of green tea Croesus proverbially wealthy king of
b. Hysonn Lydia who lived in the 6th cen-
c. Speciosa mira- :spectacular miracles tury
cula
I. The great Jew : a successful business man of
folio edition of Beaumont, and
d. Folio Beaumont: R-Nathan Lamb's time who had many busi-
and Fletcher Fletcher the twin dramatists of
Meyer Rothschold ness establishments including one
the seventeenth century in London
e. Barker's :bookshop in London

f. Corbeau :dark greenverging on black B. ANsWER BACH OF THE FOLLOWING IN ABOUT 30 wORDS
g. Lionardo :Leonardo da Vinci, the famous
and artist of a. What does Elia say about his partiality for Old China ?
Forentine painter
the Renaissance b. Why Bridget wish to be poor?
does
h. Colnaghi : a London prints
dealer in c. Account forthe joy which the author and his cousin
i. Izaak Walton :author of the Compleat Angler" felt on buying the Beaumont and Fletcher folio.
54 MACMILLAN GOLLEGE PRoSE

II. First combine each of the following pairs of sentences into one sen-
tence, converting the second sentence into a relative clause. Then,
where it is possible, write another sentence dropping the relative 7. WITH THE PHOTOGRAPHER
pronoun:
1. Susila couldn't get the magazines. You wanted the magazines.
2. I have sent the book. You asked for the book. Stephen Leacock
3. Have you read the reviews? The reviews appeared in all leading
journals.
4. The author was born in Pakistan. The author wrote the contro-
versial book.
S. The book has already sold a million copies. The baok has been want my photograph ,taken, I said. The photographer
banned in ten countries. looked at me without eñthusíaam. He was a drooping man
The issues have roused strong passions. The book deals with thel in a grey suit, with the dim eye of a natural scientist. But
issues. there is no need to describe him. Everybody knows what a
7. The author has cxpressed distress about the situation. His
have created the situation.
CTitCphotographer
is like
"Sit there', he said, 'and waite'.
m Combine each pair of sentences below into one sentence, converttng I waited a n hour.
the second sentence into a defining relative clause. Use altermative
an hour the photographer opened the inner door.
constructions wherever possible. Follow the example worked out: After
The old woman got the letter. She was waiting for the letter. Come in', he said severely.
The old woman got the letter for which she was waiting. I went into the studio.
The old man got the letter which she was waiting for. 'Sit down', said the photographer.
The old woman got the letter that she was waiting for.
I sat down in a beam of
The old woman got the letter she was waiting for. sunlight filtered through a sheet
1. It was a very diicult situation. He could not cope with it. of factory cotton hung against a frosted skylight.
2. Here is the blouse. You can match the new sari iwith it. The
3. The joke was rather silly. They all laughed at it.
photographer rolled a machine into the middle of the
room and crawled into it from behind.
4. There is a pool up the hili. We can swim in the pool. He was in only a
5. The song was melodious. We were listening to it. second-just time enough for one look at
6. There are scores of letters. I have to reply to them. me-and then he was out again, tearing at the cotton sheet
7. I is irresponsible behaviour. No one can put up with it. and the window-jpanes with a hooked stick, apparently frantic
8. That is a spacious hall. Allof us can sleep in it. for light and air.
COMPOSITION Then he crawled back into the machine again and drew a
1.
In what ways was Kamala Nehru simitar to other Indian womenittle
n what ways was she different ? Write note in about 300
black cloth over himself. This time he was very
in there. I knew that he was praying and I kept stil1.
quiet
2.
a words.
Suppose Kamala Nehru wrote a letter during her illness at Switzerland When the photographer came out at last, he looked
to Jawaharlal Nehru who was then in very
India. Imagine that letter angrave and shook his head.
WTitG it in about 200 words. The lctter should be mainly about the
relation between them. The facc is quite wrong', ne said.
I know, I answered
quietly. I have always known it.
 wITa THE PHOTOGRAPHER& 57
MACMILLAN COLLEGE PROSE
56
went on-such as it is, I've learned to love it, And this is my
He sighed. mouth, not yours. These ears are mine, and if your machine
'I think, he said, 'the face would be better- three-quarters is too narrow Here I started to rise from the seat.
full. Snick!
I was glad
I'm sure it would', I said enthusiastically, for The photographer had pulled the string. The photograph
human side to him. 'So would
to find that the m a n had such a
L Could see the machine still staggering from the
'how many faces one sees that are was aken.
yours. In fact, I continued, shock.
minute you get
apparently hard, narrow, limited, but the Ithink', said the photographer, pursing his lips in a pleased
them three-quarters full they get wide, large, almost bound-
smile, that I caught the features just in a moment of anima-
less in tion.
But the photographer had ceased to listen. He came over
SoP I said bitingly, 'features, ch? You didn't think I
and took my head in his hands and twisted it sideways. I| could animate them, I suppose? But let me see the picture'.
thought he meant to kiss me, and I closed my eyes. Oh, there's nothing to see yet', he said, 'I have to develop
But I was wrong. Come back o n Saturday, and IIl let you
far it would go and then stood
ne
egauve irst.
He twisted my face as as
see a proof of it'.
looking at it. On Saturday I went back.
He sighed again. The photographer beckoned me in. I thought he seemed
'I don't like the head', he said. than before. I think, too, there was a
Then he went back to the machine and took
another look. quleter and graver
certain pride in his manner.
Open the mouth a little', he said. He unfolded the proof of a large photograph and we both
I startcd to do so. looked at it in silence.
Close it', he added quickly. Is it meP" I asked.
Then he lookcd again. Yes', he said quietly, 'it is you', and he went on looking
them a little more.
The c a r s a r e bad', he said, 'droop
them in under the lids. Putat t
Thank you. Now the cyes. Roll The eyes', I said hesitatingly, "don't look very much like
the hands o n the knees, please,
and t u r n the just a
face little
Now just expand the lungs! So!
mine.
upwards. Yes, that's better. Oh, no', he answered. T've retouched them: they come
it-just contract the face, it's out splendidly, don't they?
And hump the neck-that's
just a trifle too full,
but- Fine, I said; 'but surely my eyebrows are not like that?
I swung myself round the stool....
on No, said the photographer, with a momentary glance
emotion but, I think, with dignity removed. We have a process,
Stop', I said with it is mine. I've lived with y e n e eyebrowS
are

face. It is
not yours; in new ones. You'll notice
This face is my
its faults. I know it's out
of draw e acpnide-tor putting away from the
it for forty years and I
know
we ve applied it to carry the h¡ir
but it's face-the only e
made for me;
ing I know it wasn'tconscious
my
brow. I don't like the hair low on the skull'.
a break in my voice, but
one I have'--I w a s of
58 WITH THE PHOTOGRAPHER
MACMILLAN COLLEGE PROSE

NOTESS
Oh, you don't, don't you? I said.
No', he went 'I
on, don't care for it. I like to get the
hair| Stephen Leacock is better known to the common reader as a writer of
clear back to the superficies and make out a new brow humorous skits thaa as a professor of political economy. He can be
line subtle; he can also be boisterous. He can also see the serious, the near
What about the mouth', I said, with a bitterness that was ragic aspect ofeven an apparentiy comic situation.
lost on the photographer, 'is that mine? With the Photographer describes an experience with the
photographer
o f the fifties and sixties--the fuss they made, the artists they wanted to
It's adjusted a little', he said. Yours is too low. 1 1ouna
Ipass for, ordering us about, commenting on our features. We enjoy it
couldn't use it'. all to begin with, but soon we see the other side-the horror and
The ears, though', I said, 'strike me as a good likeness: the pity.
they are just like mine'.
Yes', said the photographer thoughtfully, 'that's so; but OsSARY
I can fix that all right in the print. We have a e natural
drooping man: a man bending down.
process scientist: student of
now-the sulphide-for removing the ears entirely, I'll see trested skylight:liahtcomingbotany
through azoology.
or
sheetof glass frosted (not trans
if parent).
Listen', I interrupted, drawing myself up and animating three-quarters full: three-fourths of the size of the photograph itself-a
my features to their full extent and speaking with a withering f ehead
t r ihuge : a little, somewbat.
scorn that should have blasted the man on the
Spot.i cane out of drawing: not correctly drawn.
here for a photograph, a picture, something which-bad pursing his ps: drawing his lips together.
though it seems-would have looked like me. I wanted somenimation: liveliness.
thingthat would depict my face as Heaven gave it to me, superfcies: surface.
bright, polished su face.
humble though the gift may have been. I wanted somethingo
bauble: a pretty, bright thing of no valuc.
that my friends might keep after my death, to reconcile them
to my loss. It scems that I was I
mistaken. What wantedvocABULARY
is no longer done. Go on, then, with your brutal work. TakelMatch the wosds in A with their meanings in B.
your negative, or whatever it is you call it, dip it in suiphide B
bromide, oxide, cowhide-anything you like: remove the (a) boundless i) sternly
eyes, correct the mouth, adjust the face, restore the lips,| (b) bitingly i) admit
reanimate the necktie and reconstruct the waist oat. Coat it (c) contract iii) cruel
(d) grave iv) move slowly
with an inch of gloss, shade it, emboss it, it,
gild till
even
you
(e) aninmate
acknowiedge that it is finished. Then when you have donet (v)sharply
() severely (vi) called
all that, keep it for yourself and your friends. They may value (brutal (vii) give life to
it. To me it is but a worthless bauble. h) beckoned (vii) make small
I broke into tcars and Icft. Ci) crawl ix) without limits
G)acknowledge )serious
60 MACMILLAN COLLEGE PROSE WITH THE PHOToORAPHER
61

COMPREHENSION II. Answer the following questions in not more

thad 50 words each:
I. Answer the following questions in not more than 50 words each: 1. The photographer's name is not
mentioned anywhere. He is
1. Is the appearance ofthe photographer here different from that of throughout 'the photographer'. Is there any significance in this?
other photographers? How do we know? 2. What kind of photograph does the author want ?
3. What kind of photograph does the
2. The photographer rolled a machine into the middle of the photographer try to give the
author?
room..'What is the machine referred to? 4. The author compares the
photographer's cye to *the dim eye of a
3. The photographer says the author's faco is 'quite wrong. Why?
In what sense is the face wrong?
natur scientist'. What else is there in common between the photo-
4. "Stop", I said with emotion but, I think, with dignity'. Why grapherand the natural scientist?
5. What is the effect of the author's narration on us, the readers?
does the author say I think'? Think about the meaning of the Does it make us laugh? Or does it move us to sympathy
and
pity?
word 'dignity'.
Support your answer with evidence from the text.
5. I know it's out of drawing'. What does it mean here? What does
the author mean by the statement? COMPOSITION
6. 'I was conscious of a break in my voice'. This means 1.
Suppose you visit a photo studio to have your photo taken. Will you
(a) He pauscd for a while in his speech.
have the same experience as the author had? The following points
(b) His voice wasn't clear. of comparison may be useful. Write in about 200 words.
(c) He was about to cry.
(a) the arrangements in the studio.
Choose the right alternative
7. When the author returns to see the proof he notices 'a certain b) the photographer's attitude to his job and to the person who wants
pride' in the photographer's manner? What is the photographer to be photographed.
now? Or does| () the photographer's remarks and instructions while taking the
proud of? Does the author know the reason right photo.
he find out later ?
(d) the facilities available for developing and retouching.
8. The author reacts with bitterness to the photographer's remarks
on 'retouching' the photo. Is the
author's bitterness perccived by 2. The photographer finds many things 'wrong' with the author's appear-
with evidence from the
the pholographer? Suppoit your answer ance. What are these things and how does the photographer try to
text. correct' them? Use the following frame to complete your answer.
up and animating my
9. Listen", I interrupted, drawing myself (a) He finds the face 'quite wrong' and he tries to photograph it three-
with a withering
features to their full extent and speaking
con- quarters full.
blasted the man on the spot' (sccond last
tempt that should have (b) (Eyes)
*animating my features to their
Para). Why does the author say (c)
remark made earlier by the
full extcnt'? Does this refer to any (d)
photographer or the author? The author (e)
in the previous question.
10. Look at the sentence quoted What docs this
does this
says he spoke with
'withering contempt'.
GRAMMAR
mean ?
work'? I. Verbs in English can be classifñed into two broad categories:
work'. What is the "brutal regular verbs and irregular verbs. Regular verbs are those which form
11. 'Go on, then, with your brutal
Why is it calied "brutal'?
the past tense and past participle by adding ed. e.g. walk, walked
bromide, oride Verbs which
12. Take your negative. ..dip it in sulphide, past tense) walked (past participle), plaY, played, played.
of
.

italicized. Are all of them

names
the addition of -ed
cowhide'. Look at the words do not form the past tensc and past participle by
chemical substances ?
 8 come, came (past tense), come (past participle) are irregular
verbs. Pick out the irregular verbs from the following list. Writo
their past tense and past participle forms.
(a) make (b) animate (c) do (d) stagger (e) bite (f) draw (8) dip
8. PROFESSIONS FOR wOMEN
h) depict (i) fling ) dive
IL. 1. Change the following into reported speech : Virginia Woolf
Listen', I interrupted, I came here for a photograph, a
picture, something which-bad though it seems-would bave
looked like me. I wanted something that would depict my
1. When your
face as Heaven gave it to mo, humble though the gift may secretary invited me to come here, she told me
have been. I wanted something that my friends might keep that your Society is concerned with the
after my death,to reconcile them to my loss. It seems that I women and she
employment of
was mistaken. What I wanted is no longer
suggested that I might tell you something
done' about my own professional
experiences. It is true I am a
2. When wo roport requests, commands, instructions, etc. we change woman; it is true I a m employed; but what
the introductory verb say, etc. to tell, order, ask, command. professional
Open the mouth', he said.
experiences have I had? It is dificult to say. My profession
is literature; and in that
He asked me to open the mouth. profession there are fewer experi-
ences for women than in
any other, with the exception of the
Now, report the following conversation:
stage-fewer, I mean, that are peculiar to women. For the
Sheela: How do I make vermicelli payasam? road was cut
Prakash: Pour four teaspoonfuls of ghee into the vessel and many years ago-by Fanny Burney, by Aphra
heat it. Behn, by Harriet Martineau, by Jane Austen, by George
Sheela: 1t's done. What do I do next? Eliot-many famous women, and many more unknown and
Prakash: Now fry the vermicelli. forgotten, have been before me, making the path smooth,
Sheela: Okay, it's fried. Now what? and regulating my
steps. Thus, when I came to write, there
Prakash: Pour a glass of
water. were very few material obstacles in
Sheela: Yes, over. What should I du now? my way. Writing was a
Prakash: Nothing. Just let the water boil. Vhen it boils, reputable and harmless
occupation. The family. peace was
.

not broken by the scratching of a

pour half a litre of milk, add sugar. pen. No demand was made
Sheela: Hold on, hold on. Why has the stove gone out? upon the family purse. For ten and six pence
Oh, god, the cylinder is empty.
one c a n buy
paper enough to write all the
plays ofShakespeare-if one
Prakash: Light the kerosene stove. has mind that way.. Pianos and models,
a
Sheela: Do it yourself. Do you think I married you to bo Paris, Vienna and
struggling with kerosene stoves? I will tell you what you
Berlin, masters and mistresses, are not needed by a writer.
should do immediately. Go and order a second gas cylinder. The cheapness
of writing paper is, of course, the reason why
women have succeeded as writers before
they have succeeded
in the other
professions.
2. But to tell you my
story-it is a simple one. You have only
got to figure to yourselves a girl in a bedroom with a pen in
 Dalal Onc

blorila. BeauTabbs A Homa

oliw Gualdsih

Olwen Guldsmith
novelust
ovelist plauwigqht and poe.Ha . bet Knnun
AOvel TkaVican Wakaiald", kis paloral

TR
Desstad Village"and hu pla
Guovd Natunod Man" BeauTadhs Ho"
plany
a exract am Tka zon, dha wovld.

n thi Juson Beau

Beau TTbb At Homa"
dAa sp0aKan, Allangi, decoubes Tbbs 0 poTY,a
Joolin d unkKnoun Man ho Coaul about
daass and appaahanco .H phulands, tba a n d
D
i c h an in dha dy On da Atangi Mat
EROL Tibbs na public walk, Ba0
Oppeaana WOs as Usual added wit MAYe poudas
s ha Ha wov a shut wik a
d
tonpl Spedaclas and hat undo h. aum. Ha was
ahouMlass Mon wih. a Sle on ho Jae, Tha
Spaaka Qnd Boau Tibbs sutad thain Cgnesalion
b4 Walki muaod wh CoMM topics
Boa Tibbs chanacln bagan To appaas
Sogn. He slatad wIin a a well- daasa
dha wau, thaugh h wea sbanghs lo
hi Sudodasy Took a pockut book and slaatad
Mng all dha dalls 4 dhe Sange h Mut on kis uau.
On dka RAd dha pacuion Boau
bau dha
Vvacil exphays ing dAat ha ADuw

pauk So dhin withoul ay Conpany

dhuah thk ponk a,
acluall Couda.
 Beau Tlbs askodAltanqi o oin at
Wih him to hane a good CompanLon
Jbacuca MYs.TRbbs
homa
ShOw0>
Ha w hopp
happy
0Aelaqart lady n Ma
Aalu.
T
VoLa LO0as chahmun hich MO halp dhem
He olso 'wantd t
oudaducah
pca Aoma.
daugktas, Calina
wilkdma AmaliaTbhs, ho 0s a suet
Aalua H e
dgnad an
paat (uuaue
Dumsick's elda Son. Ska
Lovd
Was a si yean old ql ha walks
aMiuat and quilan well. H
plas
Watad Mak aau a Schstan. He addad
dhat a will taach ho GUao k
Whana ka will st Joasn dho Janguaye
Taac hu At. Ha abo reguustad
t shana dhat Serat wih
Aangi ot
0dhosus a dheu May bJealous o t.

Beau Tbbs dull Took Altang

this hama, TR panad dhivnugh many
dank allaus and wuding WausTbbs phalbadal
k was Adaniläi wih ha uay a
exprusad his dislik Finallydk heacdad a
qloamy hause intha oullats dhu
TOn. ibbs Íslormad dhat ha chosa dhis hause t
0sida ov dha hanalit 4 dAa au
Jouse door Aaaned. t Ji
MAst haspitabiy OpoA. Ta StainCase2 wa otd
and CuakinqTkls tdd dkat it will he
 MOY beaulllul to Ao dha ship Saillng and dha
AWhato Courby or wenlu Miekom dhi windas
0his hona.H abo addod dhát ha ulusad t
L J phul hau Rven toA dhoisand
quungasb to und, Lod Stamp. Ha alunu4>
Loved ta Kaap phaspoct at homa as hs uands
May Coma oon to soo hin.

Beau Tibbs toak Atanqi t

6 dha
qhaoYbuildin. t wa almast callad as a
st daun dh Chumy, Finally dhy aachad
Rama.By KAscking at dho door a loma ina,
a Sctn ladyopenad dha door i h a damandi
VoL t was Tbbs' ol Mad Sahwart, Tbbs
wecomacd Altangi wih aqhsot Coamonu4. H enguuhad
dha Jady abut wie. sha suplied a,
MYdh diauct dhat Mys Tibbs was Iashiug hub
shi at d xt doy, Not t aka odkans
KAMw hispoOY COncdion h shatod at he maud
and askad oa J om Ms Tbbs dhat thy hawe
a quest. Ha old Allani dhadt hagot that mad
i apauamatMan, ona h a und,fom
Pdha High lands Who has ona 4 dh polst ma n
dhaworld, HaHo alo waktad dhat to ha a secut

Atangi had Suwwey dha

chambcn Ond ib uoniino Sina dh anninal
M7s. Tabhs Jata. Tka hova CONALsd ov chaks
with olu waught botaina kich was assuad as ha
wi' embosidary. Thuaa Was a suane table dhat
ha haan japanAad geaus ago, a Chadla at no

Brokor shuphonuke
Mond
 CoYna an a umbanung Cabint at nth
COYNO Toha wab a b»dkan Shaphardas d
a Maudaun aithaut akaad shich was
stuck oven dha C y ThaaWa oNOa
palbi and nameapuuus Jnund
oalWhich w describad s his au
dbawugs. Tkana adoauwiu
Sonua COYKOSL dha wall hich was descrihad
Qs his Own a . Lihs phaudy 0ys dhat
h
dhawnqh
is t
Soady
At last MYS. Tibos Mada kasu
appeahake skabby and Conyuolt
Ska was
Sha Mada
wen apooqis o horn Jat
aisina. ska excubcd 3ayna hat
Shasayed Out all mgktat Nauhall
Giadas Lwith thaCaunlus, Who wa eXakuek
nd tha hovns Ska tald hehwband,
that Jdkienguad about him. Maanukila
Tobs askad ahout dhacune .H
t told has
Paapae auwbot o OA 0Yolonin a
inilad Mau. Tbs addad dhat khal
asling

Baa
Undsnalandng dha por Condilion
Tbbs,Altanai poulindad t haue had
PioNowsenqaqemat ad Jalt t haus
Auovding MTs.Tbbs AHan ws supposa
sulpo
6at otdaaat w haus t hau dka
dMO. Tki humau Mada Atanqi
ha Cponu oundi
ols t ud
w Malor h e
at last
 wndaland dhat t
at Maka Snile
Conupay oot Ma
but'Jast
Sndug malanchou. Fealin paia Sodrs

LLAusa dha Anllaniaa

 St
ephenLeacock'
sWithThe
Photogr
apher

Summar
y
St
ephenLeacockisamoder nEnglishprosewrit
er.Hehaswrit
tenmanyprosepi eces.
Allhi
sprosepiecesar
eknownf ort
heirsubtl
ehumour .Theytal
kaboutreall
i
fesi
tuati
on.Wi t
h
ThePhotographerisashor
tprosethatdescribesLeacock’
sexper
iencewithaphotographer.
Leacock,asi
st her
egul
arcase,
getsabi t
terexperi
ence.

Leacockgoest oaphot ographertogethi mselfphot ographed.Hewai tsf oranhour

andhei scall
edi ntotheinnerroom.Thephot ographerisagr av eman.Thephot ographeri s
notsati
sfi
edwithLeacock’ sface.Hesay sthatLeacockl ooksugly.Het henconcludest hathe
would shoot three quarter
vi
ewofLeacock.Leacockacknowledgesthisandstar
tsreasoningaboutthedeci
sionbutt
hephot ogr
apherdoesnotr espondorcar eforwhatLeacocki stal
king.

Thephot ographerhideshi msel fbehindthecamer aandcomesoutofi t.Hecomes

cl
ose t
o
Leacock.Leacockthi
nksthatt
hephot ographeri
sgoingtoki
sshimbuthetur
nsLeacock’sfacethatwo
uld
begoodforapose.Thephotographergivesaseri
esofi
nstruct
ionsl
ikecl
osemout h,
droopears,rol
ley
es,turnf ace,expandlungs,et c.
,t oLeacock.Leacocki sconfusedandhei sf r
ightened.
Leacockbecomesi mpatient
, hescoldst hephotographer,andthephotographerclicksashot .
Leacockisshocked.

Thephot ographerasksLeacockt ocheckt heproofonSaturdayandthephot ographwouldbe

del
iveredbySunday .OnSaturdayLeacockisfurt
hershockedonseei
ngtheproof.
Thephot ogr
aphersay
sthathehasedi t
edt heey ebrowsandt hemout h.Healsoplanstoedithisears.Leacockshouts
atthephot ographeraskingf oraphotogr aphthatwouldresemblehim.Hesay sthatheloveshis
ori
ginalfacethant healteredone.Hel eav esthephotostudiowit
htears.