From Paper

The rains of May bring gloom. A gloom much warmer than the shine of June’s sun. A
shine that burns and turns one's paper to lifeless ash.
May 5

The bell had rung for lunch but I stayed back in class to finish up my writing
assignment. Though it was only four minutes after the bell had rang, the once crowded
and rowdy hallways had turned almost peaceful, with the distant roar of life coming from
the lunch room. It was friday, that meant pizza, like usual. I sat down at the same table
with my small group of friends, like usual. We talked and smiled, like usual. Eventually,
the school day ended and I found myself walking home… Like usual.
“Welcome home!” Kipo yelled while hugging my legs.
“How are you!” I asked while picking her up and returning the hug.
“Good.” She replied, “Mommy got upset when I was eating and told me I need to
use a fork again.”
“Well,” I said, “Eating with your hands is bad manners.”
“I know, but it’s more funner.” She said, crossing her arms.
“I know it’s more funner, but it’s also kinda gross.” I said through a smile.
“Your face is gross.” She said, Smiling back.
I put her down next to me and she grasped my hand. We wandered throughout
the house on our little adventure to find our moms.
“Where do you think they are?” I asked.
“They're probably just now getting back from their top secret spy meeting.” She
answered confidently.
“Definitely.” I said jokingly yet lovingly.
I try to be the best brother I can be. I try to show her the goofy side of life, or in
her words, the “more funner” side. I never really thought being an older brother would
be so amazing. Now there's someone that I get to help and love. I only wish that I could
be as good of an older brother as Sam. He taught me that even the smallest spark of
creativity is preferable to even the richest of realities. He's been making his way through
college, so now I have to be the best big brother for Kipo.
We made our way to the dining room where they were both sitting at the table.
“Welcome home sweetie,” Dottie said.
Kipo took a seat at the table next to her.
It was a long walk home, through our steep neighborhood and up our mountain
of a driveway. I was exhausted so I started rummaging through the pantree to try and
find the secret stash of cookies they keep trying to hide.
“How was school?” Lyra asked.
“Good.” I responded sitting down with my face full of chocolate chip cookies.
I caught a glance at their faces… Worry filled them. In fact, I had noticed that the
room felt still when me and Kipo walked in.
“Sweetie,” Dottie said with her usual calm voice which seemed to oppose the
nervousness from her face. “The doctor called and said that he needs to speak with us
about your last appointment.”
The stillness and worry of the room poured into my mind. I knew it was nothing
bad, but seeing them both like this scared me a little. I had broken bones and had two
surgeries, but I had never seen them like this. Especially over a normal appointment…
What if it’s bad?

We made our way to the clinic. Outside it was cool and damp. The sun was
setting, making the flowers sparkle from the fallen droplets of May’s rain.
“I can't wait for June,” Kipo said as we checked in. “That's when summer starts.”
“I can't wait either!” I said excitedly. “When all this gloomy rain is dried up from
the warm sun.”

After a few minutes of waiting, we were called back to Dr. Hasan’s office. Walking
through these same gray and white hallways again was getting boring. So, I closed my
eyes and imagined walking through a cave, torch in one hand, sword in the other. The
strong scent of ogre and mold crept its way into my lungs. The echo of every squishing
step from the damp of the cave floor was sustained for what felt like years in the dark
endless cavern.
“He won't get away with my gold this time.” I thought to myself.
Ogres are dumb and slow. I’ve been chasing him for more than an hour, he’s
probably tired. Plus these caves are narrow, he’ll have troub…
“Michael, come on,” said Lyra.
We were in front of Dr. Hasan’s office now. Dottie squatted down to face Kipo.
“Sweetie, I need you to sit here and wait until we're done chatting. Okay?”
“But that's boring,” Kipo moaned.
“I know,” Dottie said “So how about we get some ice cream afterwards?”
“Really!” Kipo yelled “Ok fine, but I’m not saying I still won't get bored.”
“I love you sweetie.” Dottie said while hugging her and kissing her forehead.
“I love you too mama,” Kipo said, hugging her back.

We opened the door, greeted Dr. Hasan and sat down. His office made me feel…
Anxious.
I could see that he was a bit jittery. Something was bothering him.
“I really do apologize if I seemed hectic over the phone,” he explained.
“No, it’s alright.” Lyra said.

Something’s wrong.

“I don’t know how to put this…”

He was red and short of breath.

“We noticed something from Michaels last appointment.”

The quiet between each word was deafening.

“It seems that Michael… has a very rare disease.”

 The sound of quiet, frantic breathing and the pounding of my own heart rang
through my head… It hurt.

“I’m sorry to say… but it’s not treatable… However, there have been some rare
occasions where people… have survived.”

I heard the short bursts of cracking breath… They started to cry.

“This is going to be scary Michael… But your body will start to fail you. Your mind
as well.”

I felt numb.

“I’m so sorry, but...”

I heard the squeak of the door… It was Kipo… She was bored.

“I would give you until June.” He muttered

Kipos face lit up… She smiled.

“I love June.” She said

May 8
Dr. Hasan told the school everything, and now the teachers are all treating me
like a baby, which is kind of cool. They said I don't have to do the work, but I need
something to do. Plus, Dr. Hasan said that there's a small chance I could survive, and
when I do, all that work that they said I didn't have to complete is going to count and
really affect my grade.
 Lunch was gross, like usual. Me and my friends sat at our same table.
“Hey Michael,” One of them said. “I heard that something happened to you.”
“Ya, people are saying that you got some kind of disease.” Another one blurted
out.
“Wait, really?” Said another.
“Well… ya.” I answered.
“But don't worry. The doctor said there’s a pretty good chance I’ll make it. And on
the bright side, I’ve started thinking about stuff I want to do. I’m going to travel the world
with my brother and sister. We’ll go on adventures together, and by June, we’ll do it all
over again.”

We never talked about it again.

Walking home, I was overjoyed with the new possibilities of my new life. I felt
strong and brave. I could do anything. I started thinking about someone at school. Their
name was Marlow. Everytime I see them I can't help but smile and turn red. With this
newly found bravery, I started imagining what I would say to them. I’m pretty sure they
barely knew me, but still I wanted to tell them how I felt. How cool and funny I thought
they were. How gleeful they made me feel every time we passed in the hallways. I wish
we could just sit down and talk. I would love to listen to what they had to say. I’ll tell
them how I feel… Soon.
I love the feeling of the world covered in a thin coat of droplets. The sweet floral
wind against my face. The splashing of puddles from my heavy feet. The ensuing sun of
June.

My feet are dragging, and I keep stumbling. I must be tired.

“Welcome home June!” Kipo yelled as I entered the front door.

“Hi Kipo,” I said. “Wait, why are you calling me June again?”
“Because I thought it sounded pretty.” She answered. “Plus, I love both you and
June.”
 We had chicken curry that night. It was delicious. Me and Kipo both gulped it
down in a matter of seconds. However, I could tell that Dottie and Lyra were still on
edge. I tried my best to assure them that everything was going to be fine, but it just got
quiet. I didn't know how to make them feel better.
I felt tired after dinner, so I told everyone goodnight and made my way to my
room. The warm orange lights were dim so that the stars on my ceiling could glow. My
old hand-me-down desk, covered with mountains of scissors, tape and glue. My
bookshelves, overflowing with all my favorite series and the hundreds of miniatures I
had made from paper, and my floor coated in scraps of failed ideas.
I had a journal under all this mess…I’ve found it helps me.
I pushed aside the pile of scrap and trash in the middle of my desk to get to my
journal. I opened it, and wrote.

May 14
I fell yesterday. Dottie and Lyra told me that I wouldn't be going to school
anymore…They want to spend more time with me. It’s like they wont let me out of their
sight. It is quite nice spending more time with them, but I wish they would believe me
when I tell them everything will be fine. I’m not afraid… I’m going to beat this… Because
I want to live.
“What movie do you want to watch, Kipo?” I asked.
“Hmm... Can we watch Spirited Away again?”
“Of course!” I said with excitement.
We had seen every Studio Ghibli film a thousand times, and Kipo and I still have
the same faces of wonder that we’ve had since the first time. The detail and beauty of
their worlds is beyond breathtaking. Dottie and Lyra were talking in the other room. I
heard the choking up of tears, and my name.
It was late when the movie was over, and Kipo wanted to go to bed. I walked her
to her room adjacent to mine, hugged her goodnight, and went to my room. The lights
were off, but the room still glowed warm from the ever so slight bloom of my ceiling
stars. I made my way through the familiar darkened room to my desk. I thought about
wanting to travel the world with Sam and Kipo, and going on fantastical adventures with
them.
“Where should we go this time?” I thought to myself.
“How about… The Wild West.”

“What time is it Sam?” I asked.

He looked at his cracked wristwatch.
“Quarter past twelve.” He said. “She’s late. Ya think she’s scared?”
“Nah. She’s a killer, she would never pass up an opportunity like this.”
“With all do respect sir,” Sam said. “You were the one who gave her that
opportunity. On purpose might I add.”
“I can't have bandits like that just strollin into my town.” I said, stood up high with
my hands resting on my belt, my eyes squinted under the shade of my hat, and my spit
flying through the air, making its way into a nearby spittoon with a perfect ting.
“And then you challenged her to a standoff,” Sam said to me. “You are the most
stereotypical cowboy I’ve ever seen.”
“Quiet!” I said sharply.
The tiny tapping sounds of the tumbling weeds dancing across the rock and sun
dried mud was silenced by a distant and slow gallop. A far off figure began to emerge
from the blurry horizon. With it, the strumming of a guitar.
“Is that her?” Sam said.
“That's her alright... Kipo the Killer.”
The sound of breaking gravel behind me stole my gaze. Sam took a step back,
now sheltered behind the side of the saloon. The breeze spat dust in my eyes. I pulled
out my handkerchief taking my time to rub my red unrested eyes. Then, the far-off
strumming of guitar was accompanied by the solo of a confident harmonica.
“Uh-oh!” Sam blurted out, still hiding behind the saloon. “She’s got the music!
This must be her movie!”
“Who said this was a movie!” I said irritably.
 She was closer now. I could make out the fierceness of not only her, but her
steed as well. The heavy gallop, slowly becoming the booming rhythmic bass for the
background of the guitar and harmonica.
“You should be fine.” Sam said. “As long as there aren't any trum…”

BWAAAAA!!!!!!!

The ringing triumph of trumpets rang throughout the rocky canyon, bouncing off
the walls and into our ears.
“NOOOOOO!!! NOT THE TRUMPETS!!!” Sam screamed. “Sorry bro, you’re
dead.”
He turned and ran, leaving nothing but a heavy cloud of dust behind him. I looked
through the rest of the town. People were peering through windows and cracked doors.
Wood carvers quickly got to work on a casket and fixed it with my nameplate.
“Oh come on!” I whined. “Is that really necessary?”

“Here I am.”
I turned back to face Kipo the Killer, and there she was, only a few yards in front
of me.
“I’m really going to enjoy this.” She said, staring daggers into my sole with eyes
partially hidden behind the brim of her hat.
“I’m ready when you are.” I said.
We both slowly moved our hands to our hips and hovered them over our
holsters.
She could see that my hand was shaking.
“You’re nervous aren't you?” She asked.
“No.” My voice cracked.
“You should be.” She said, “You should be horrified to die.”

Bang!!!
 “June.” Kipo said. I hadn't even noticed the squeak of my door opening.
“Hey Kipo.” I smiled. “Couldn't sleep?”
“No.” She answered. “Mommy and Mama were asleep and I didnt want to wake
them up… What are ya doin?”
“I’m just making some more paper miniatures.” I replied. “These ones are cowboy
themed.”
“Whoa, can I see?” She said.”
“Of course.” I said, overjoyed.
I placed them in her hands and she dove onto my bed and started to play. I
smiled, turned to face my desk and started making more. I could hear the “pews!” and
“pows!” of cops and robbers and the folding and crackle from paper. Before I knew it, I
had made what seemed like hundreds more, and Kipo was fast asleep with the paper
figures still in her hands. I picked her up and put her back in her bed. I made my way
back to my room and sat back down at my desk. I thought about school and how I
wouldnt be able to tell Marlow how I felt. So, I took out my journal and wrote what I
wanted to say.

May 19
I can barely move my legs now. Every morning, Lyra helps me into my
wheelchair. It’s kind of fun though. It’s like a racecar. Kipo will hold on to the back while I
zoom down the hallway. It always makes her smile.
Kipo still goes to school, and Lyra goes to work. So for most of the day, me and
Dottie hang out playing games, watching movies, or making little arts and crafts. I never
really thought about how much I loved spending time with her. She always wanted to
have fun with us. When we were little, me and Sam would dress up and run around the
house, and almost always, her and Lyra would join us. They always made us feel safe. I
love them for that. I love them for everything.
“Mom?” I said while we sat at the table making flowers from paper.
“Yes sweetie.” She responded.
“When are we going to tell Kipo?” I asked.
 “I… I don't know if we should.” She said, “I’m not sure if she’ll… understand.”
She seemed anxious.
“How are you feeling mom?” I asked.

“Michael,” She said. “I’m scared.”

“We’re home!” Lyra said with Kipo running past her and giving me and Dottie a
hug.

“How is it?” Lyra asked.

“It’s delicious.” I said with a face full of stir fry.
“I added more mushrooms this time, and I’m trying a new sauce with new spices
so if you have any feedback, let me know.” She said with excitement.
“How about you Kipo, do you… Fork Kipo. Not hands.”
“Uuhhh, fine.” she said with an exaggerated frown on her face.
It’s always nice to sit and eat and talk with your family. The room was warm from
the stove. It made our cheeks a cozy red. Through the window, It was a beautiful shade
of dark, with a backdrop of rain.
Kipo stared out the window.
“I can't wait for June.” She said.

I heard those short bursts of breath again… Someone was crying.

Lyra was trying to hide her face.

“Honey, what's wrong?” Dottie asked.

“What’s wrong?” Lyra blurted out.

“He can't walk!”

“It’s getting worse, and… and I don't know what to do.”

 Lyra’s face was hidden under her palms. Dottie was holding her… They were
crying.
The window had been open. The scent of rain and rose found its way inside. The room
smelled sweet. I was smiling.

“Please don't worry,” I said through my teeth, “I haven't given up, and I’m not
scared. I still have a life to live don't I? I told you… I’ll beat it.”

After dinner I went to my room and thought to myself.

“What are we doing today?”

“What if we knew magic.”

“How did you do that?” I asked.

“I don't know, it just happened.” Kipo said.
Sam walked in.
“Oh, so I see you learned how to use your powers.” He said. “Took you long
enough.”
“Looks like you're the only one left who doesn't have one.” He said towards me.
“Not yet.” I said hopefully.
“I couldn't imagine not being born with powers.” Sam said. “That must be hard.”
“It’s not that bad.” I said. “But I want them so badly. So I’ll find a way to get them.”

“You know you can't.” Sam said.

It was sunny and warm… Not exactly like May.

Kipo opened my door.

“Are you working again?” She asked.
“I just got done.” I said. “Wanna see them?”
 She walked in, and I placed the paper figures onto her hand. They weren't my
best.
“So they have magic powers.” She said.
“Yup, they can cast spells from their hands like fireballs and stuff.”

“June.”

She seemed fidgety.

“Why are you in a wheelchair?”

She was looking at the floor.

“Well,” I said. “Because I… hurt my leg, and now I need this to get around.”
“But it's getting warmer outside and I wanna play with you.” She said.

“Tell you what. I promise that by June, I’ll be out of this thing, and we can play all
summer long.”
Her face lit up and she smiled.
“Really?” She asked.
“Really.” I nodded
She hugged me tight.

“I love you June.”

“I love you too.”

After writing in my journal, I went to bed.

May 23
The next morning, I woke up blinded by the sun peeking its head through my
curtains. Lyra walked into my room and helped me into my wheelchair.
 “These are beautiful.” She said, picking up a handful of my paper figures.

“You make such amazing things… and from paper.”

She smiled then left for her room.

“I want to talk to Sam.” I thought to myself.
I reached for my phone on my desk and called him.

“Hey!” He said excitedly. “I’ve been meaning to call you, but I’m just so busy.
Every flight is booked… The earliest I can be there is mid-June.”

“Hey.”

“Talk to me.”
His voice was calming. I missed hearing it.
“How are you?”
“Good.” I answered
“The only thing you're feeling is good?” He was more stern. “Michael… This is
bad… There's no way the only thing you’re feeling right now is good… I don't even feel
good.”
“Sam, I’ll be fine.” I said, trying to calm his mind.

“They...they told me you might die.” He said. His voice was shaking.

“I won't.” I said, smiling.

“I’m sorry.” he choked up. “I’m sorry I’m not there right now… But I’ll be there
soon… Just wait a little longer.”

“Crap, I gotta go.” He said quickly. “Michael, Listen… I love you with all my heart,
and if… if this is the last time… ”
 “I love you too,” I cut him off. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye.”

I set my phone down on my desk. The birds were awake, and singing their usual
morning ballad. The light of morning still shone through the cracks in my curtains. The
still of the beginning of a new and different day flooded through as well, leaving me and
my room… Still. I sat watching the gleam of light slowly make its way from one side of
the room, to the other.
I sat there for hours. My mouth burnt and my lips cracked from the dryness. I
needed water, so I moved to open my door and made my way through the house. I
came up to Dottie and Lyra’s room. Their door was cracked open just enough to where I
could make out the quiet whispers of my name and sobbing.

“I can't take this.”

I think it was Lyra.

“I can't stand thinking that he might…”

“Hey…we have to stay strong, okay.”

It was Dottie, I think.

“How am I supposed to stay strong!!!” Lyra cried. “I spent my life loving him! And
caring for him! Protecting him!”

“And to think that all of that could be taken away… And that I could do nothing…
But watch.”

“I’m trying not to show them that I’m scared… But I’m terrified.”
 “It kills me… I can't take it.”

“I made them cry.” I thought to myself. “What kind of a son would do that.”

“No… they're wrong, it’s fine. They're crying for nothing, after all… I’m going to live.”

I’m going to live.

I’m going to live.
I’m going to live.
I’m going to live.

I had gotten water and made my way back to my room. The sunlight had caught
my eye. I went over to open the curtain. I was hit with the heat of the brightened sun,
and opened the warm handle of the window. The gloomy rain puddles were dry now.
The sun grabbed my face, spreading its touch to my nose and down my cheeks. It was
annoying. It was getting warmer.
I made my way to my desk, brushed off it’s scraps of paper, and took out my
journal.

May 28
Kipo was in my room, playing behind me as I was working, folding paper. It
was… harder than usual. My hands shook.
I heard Kipo stand up and step through the scraps of paper on the floor. Her
arms wrapped around my neck as her cheek rested on my shoulder.
“What's this for?”

I smiled.

“Mommy said I should hug you more.” She said.

I smiled harder, to the point where it almost hurt.

 “Oh.”

Darn it, my voice shook.

I hugged her back, tighter.

She climbed on the back of my wheelchair and I sped down the hallway like a
rocket, making her laugh. We made our way to the living room where Dottie and Lyra
were sitting on the couch reading. They saw us coming in, and smiled. Dottie noticed
that my hands were shaking. And I noticed that her smile was now forced. Me and Kipo
sat next to them, and Dottie took my hand.
“How are you feeling today?” She asked with the softest and most caring of
voices.
“I’m doing fine.” I smiled back.
I could see her eyes. They were red, and shiny. They were the beautiful mirrors
into her soul. They looked afraid.
“Mama, I want you to know that I’m not scared.” I said, squeezing her hand,
trying to calm her mind.

“But if I was… that would be okay… right?”

Dotties eyes got heavy. She covered them, then hugged me, burying my face in
her arms. Then, I felt Lyra’s arms. Then Kipo’s.

“Right?”

It was getting late. I went back to my desk and took out my journal.

It’s getting harder to write.

June 1
My curtains were closed. The outside distracted me from working. I had made
hundreds more of my miniatures. Each one was plain… A couple at a restaurant, a girl
walking home from school, a student on their way to college. They were crumpled and
hideous.
“Well, not my best work.” I laughed to myself.
I heard the heavy joyful stomps of Kipo in the hallway. The slam of my door
shook me.
“June! June! June! June!!!” She screamed.
I turned to be greeted by her open arms flying towards me. She hugged me tight
and cried with joy. She was smiling. She was so happy.
“The sun is out!” She yelled.

She tugged on my arm.

“Come on June, let's go play!”

Kipo was staring at me with eyes of wonder. I was looking at the floor, and at my
legs.
I love the sun. It burns my skin, and dries the rain’s puddles, and wilts the
flowers. I looked up to meet her gaze of wonder. My eyes lie. They told her I was
smiling. They're pathetic, my eyes.

“I’ll be right out.” I told her.

She shrieked with joy and left for the outside sun. Leaving me… with me.
“move.”

“move.”
 “Move.”

“Move.”

“Move.”

“Move!”

“Move!”

“Move!”
“Move!”
“Move!!”

“MOVE!! MOVE!!! MOVE!!! MOVE!!! MOVE!!!!!!”

I was pounding on my legs with the little strength I had left in my arms. Why did I
need them? They didn't work. I hated them. I picked up the scissors from my desk that I
used to cut paper, and raised them above my head. I heard the shaking of metal. My
useless hands were trembling… I thrust the sharp metal down to the skin of my legs. I
hit them, but the scissors fell to the floor. My arms were so weak, they only left a small
mark… and my legs… they're worthless. They couldn't move… they couldn't even
bleed.
Dottie and Lyra burst into my room. They heard me screaming.
“WHAT’S WRONG!?” They yelled.
I was just sitting there, with my face buried in my lap, and my hands around my
head. The sun warmed my room. I was crying to myself.

“I want to live.”

I don't think they heard me.

 “It’s alright.” They both said, hugging me.

“I want to live.”

I think they heard me this time.

I made them cry again. I keep hurting them. What kind of a monster am I.

I think we talked after that. Then they left me. How did I not notice it was June.
I wrote in my journal. A miserable excuse for writing.

June 6
My room was quiet and warm. My paper was barely folded. It was the best I
could do. I could barely see now.
“I need to do something.” I thought to myself. “Anything.”

“What if I… fought a dragon.”

There were three of us. We… They had shields.

And there was a dragon. I wasn't scared.

It had fire like the sun.

It was warm. I think I got burnt.

Dottie and Lyra don’t come into my room that much. I think it’s because I make
them cry.
I picked up my pen and opened my journal. I won't be able to write soon.
June 8
The birds were singing again. I couldn't quite make out their song. Dottie, Lyra,
and Kipo were all in my room. I smiled, but I don't know if they did. Their faces were
blurry. I think we were talking about things we love. It was hard to hear, but I was happy
to be with them. I don't think anyone cried. I didnt even think I was going to die. I should
write about this.

June 9
Kipo was in my room. She was playing with my miniatures, I could hear the
paper, and the sounds of her beautiful imagination. She was the sound of joy and
everything I wish I could have been. She loved the sun.
Dottie and Lyra would check on us occasionally. I didn't know what they would
say, so I just focused on the sound of their voice. It made me forget, and feel warm. The
warm I love. Like fluffy blankets and hot coco, or the feeling of being loved. I love them
so much.

I wish I could hug them again… I wish I could see them again.

I won't forget what they sound like. It’s the sound of living. I never thought it
would make me cry.

I think I’m dying.

I can't move my arms anymore, but I need to write.

June 12
I’m just left imagining.

But there's nothing.

I can't even see myself.

 I can't speak, but I need to tell them something.

It took me hours, but I was able to write.

June 16
“It’s been so long since I’ve been in this room.” I said. “It’s just how I remembered
it.”
Dotties eyes were red and busy looking at the floor. My eyes slowly joined hers.

“Mom, I’m… I’m sorry. I got here as fast as I could.”

“Sam, It's fine.” She said, looking up from the floor.
“But I wasn't here.” I cried. “That's not fine… I wasn't here for my family, and for
my brother.”
She hugged me and smiled. His room was warm. He must have hated this.
Looking at his window, only to see June.
We walked around his room until Dottie pointed out a journal on his desk.
“Almost everyday he would write in that thing.” She said. “When he… when he
couldn't move his arms, I would find him with his pen in his mouth… writing. I read it and
I… I hate that he was more comfortable talking to a piece of paper than to his own
mother.”
I picked up his journal and opened it.

May 8
Well, I’ve never really done this, but I think this will help me. A few
days ago, Mr. Hasan told me that I had a rare disease. Good news is
that there's a chance I’ll survive. This’ll be a piece of cake. I’ve built
kingdoms and slayed dragons. I’ve sailed pirate infested seas and found
buried fortunes. This is nothing.
I went to school today, and it looks like just about everybody knows.
The teachers are saying that I don't have to do the work, which is kinda
funny. I know I’m gonna beat this thing, but I still have that feeling
that I want to do everything. I feel brave. In fact, I’m gonna tell
Marlow I have a crush on them.
Walking home, I got tired and I kept tripping, guess I need to work
out more, I am REALLY out of shape. Also I find it kinda cute the way
Kipo calls me June now.

May 14
Dottie and Lyra aren't letting me go to school anymore, probably
because I keep tripping. I wish they knew that I was fine though.
Kipo and I watched a movie then I took her to bed. I couldn't
really go to sleep, so I started on a new set of miniatures. They were
Wild West themed. Kipo couldn't sleep either, so she came into my room
and started playing with my paper miniatures until she fell asleep.
 Well, I realized now that I’m not gonna be talking to Marlow for a
while, so… I guess I’ll just say what I wanna say in here… In case they
read it.
Marlow… I know we never really talked much, and I wouldn't be
surprised if you didn't know my name, but… I have a crush on you.
Everytime I see you I can't help but smile, and whenever you talk to me I
always either say or do something stupid. I’m really bad at talking to
people, but I wish we could talk everyday so I could know more about you.
And everything I do know about you, I find awesome. I just want to get
to know you more, and I want to have the confidence to talk to you, and
maybe one day we could be best friends or something. Well… I guess
that’s about it… see you soon.

May 19
I need a wheelchair now. It’s pretty fun though, not gonna lie. Kipo
seems to love it, she’ll hold on to the back while I speed down the
hallways.
 At dinner, Lyra started crying. I felt bad, it was because of me. I
keep trying to tell them that I’ll be fine.
After dinner, I made more miniatures. They were about magic, but
they weren't as good as the last ones.
Kipo asked why I’m in a wheelchair. I told her I hurt my leg, and I
promised that I’ll be walking by June. What was I supposed to say.

May 23
I talked to Sam today. It was good to hear him, but he was very
worried. He told me that he was going to be here by mid-June.
I was in the hall, outside Dottie and Lyra’s room and I heard them
crying. Damn it, I keep making them cry. All I can do is tell them that
I’m going to live.
My room was getting brighter and warmer. It’s annoying.
 I miss you. I miss you so much, but please don't be sorry. No matter how long it
was, it was your life, and being scared is just a part of it. So don't ever apologize for
living.
I wiped my eyes and looked around his room, seeing the thousands of miniatures
lining his shelves. I looked back to his journal.
“So this is everything, huh…”

“Paper.”