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EXERCISE 23.

LETTING GO OF UNHELPFUL THOUGHTS


As you and your therapist may have discussed, cognitive fusion is a term that describes a
process in which we “latch on” to what we are thinking—don’t let go. When we are fusing like
this, we are prone to feel the emotional consequences of our thinking and prone to act on it. If
the thought is helpful and adaptive, there may be little harm in fusing with it; however, if the
thought leads to feelings that disturb us and if we act on these thoughts and feelings, we may do
things that are not helpful to us. An example would be an erroneous thought that leads us to
feeling very angry. Even though the thought may not be accurate, fusing with it is likely to keep
us angry, and we may do something, like become verbally or even physically aggressive, which
may have unwanted negative consequences.
Cognitive defusion is the opposite of fusing. It is when we step back from our thoughts,
“detach” or distance from them. This allows us not to be driven by them. Rather, it allows us to
make more reasoned decisions about how to respond to them and take actions that are likely to
be more helpful, effective, and consistent with our values. In plain language, it is based on the
idea that troubling thoughts themselves are not the problem, fusing with them is. Fusing,
however, is natural. We have a tendency to believe what we think, that how we are “seeing”
things is accurate, and run with it. Arguably though, not everything we think is accurate, or
captures the bigger picture, or is helpful. This is where defusion is useful.
In this exercise, you are asked to review a list of cognitive defusion techniques, indicate
which ones you would be willing to try, and then work with your therapist to start applying them
in your daily life. Keep in mind that the list is not exhaustive. You can also find other examples
searching online with terms like “cognitive defusion techniques,” which you are encouraged to
do, if interested.
Lastly, the goal of cognitive defusion is not to challenge, change, or get rid of a thought.
It is to relate to it in a way that allows you remain detached from it, observe it, and ultimately let
it go and get on with the more important, valued things in your life. This personal skill takes a
willingness to try something new with your thinking, give it an honest try over some time, and
see its benefits for yourself. Its purpose is to allow you to decide where you put your efforts and
energies rather than some thought that hits your mind and may not be helpful to you.

Cognitive Defusion Techniques


INSTRUCTION
The following is a list of cognitive defusion options. Read through the list and indicate
with a check mark those that you would be willing to try. Discuss the completed form with your
therapist. _________________________
____ 1. Thank your mind for offering the thought but decline the offer. “No thanks.”
LONELINESS
____ 2. Remind yourself that the thought is just a bunch of words that have no
meaning unless you give them meaning; then don’t offer one.
____ 3. Remind yourself that you don’t have to buy every thought that crosses your
mind, and dismiss this one.
____ 4. Treat your thought like it’s a liar, trying to convince you of something that
isn’t accurate or the whole picture. Dismiss the attempt. [Additional option: Say “liar,
liar pants on fire” repeatedly to the thought.]
____ 5. Treat the thought as just a thought, and do something else. [I can think a
thought and do something other than what it says I should do or feel.]
____ 6. Imagine the thought as it would look if written as a sentence and do any of the
following: erase it, switch the words up and say it, sing it to a song that has a
completely different association (e.g., Happy Birthday), say it in a funny voice (e.g.,
Donald Duck), imagine it blowing away like a feather, or come up with your own.
____ 7. Treat your thought(s) like passengers on a bus and you are the driver. Allow
them to be background while you drive the bus where you want to go.
____ 8. Ask your thought, “And how is this helpful to me?” Be open to the possibility
that it is not helpful or accurate.
____ 9. If your thought has a “but” or “yeah but” in it, replace it with “and.” See how
both can exist.
____ 10. If your thought(s) is about the past, treat it as though it is becoming extinct,
turning back into dust, and will blow away.
____ 11. Treat your thought as if it a very heavy and large piece of baggage that you
don’t need to keep carrying.
____ 12. Repeat the thought over and over, quickly and mindlessly, until bored with it.
____ 13. Write the thought on a small card and do any of the following: throw it in the
trash, tear it up, burn it (safely), toss it around then do any of the above, or come up
with your own dismissive action.
____ 14. Look around the room and realize that anything in it can be judged
negatively, if one decides to. Decide not to and do the same with negative judgmental
thoughts about yourself or others.
____ 15. Think of your thought as an external event, outside of you, like it’s a separate
person just saying the words.
____ 16. Make the thought just a thought by saying, “Right now I’m just having a
thought about…” Stay detached.
____ 17. Think of your thought as an external event and treat it like it’s trying to bully
you. Tell it off. Use colorful language if you like.

LONELINESS

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