The bar chart below shows the net worth of the UK from 2000 to 2010

according to three different sectors.

The bar chart highlights changes in the total wealth of various sectors in
the UK over a decade from 2000 to 2010.
To summarise, while the total wealth of UK households and the
government saw an upward trend in the given time period except in
2008, the figures for business remained the least growing section of the
UK economy.
Between 2000 and 2002, the figures for UK households remained fairly
stable at about 4500 billion. By 2007, UK household wealth had risen
from 4500 billion to just under 7000 billion. While both the household
and government net wealth shrunk significantly in 2008, the latter’s net
worth fell so much that the government sectors actually went into
negative figures in 2010. The trend was similar in case of the total net
worth of the UK. The data for the business community revealed the
opposite trend to that of the rest of the country. Although the net worth
of business in the country improved from 2000 to 2002, this trend did
not last long and began to worsen again only a year later. The best year
for this sector was in 2008, where it hardly showed a negative figure.

How to make recycled paper from old newspapers.

The diagram illustrates the way to transform unwanted newspapers into

fresh, reusable paper sheets.

It can clearly be seen that there are nine steps involved in the production
of this product with the need of old newspapers and ending with drying
in the sun for a whole day.

The preparation stage starts with collecting old newspapers and

shredding them into a smaller piece. Then, 250 ml of water is added and
the paper is left to soak for up to an hour. Next, an electric mixer is used
to beat the mixture for about 45 seconds until pulp is formed. Turning
into the production stage, when it is ready, the pulp is poured into a
shallow tray and further 100 ml of water is added. Afterwards, use a
piece of mesh, to carefully lift the pulp mixture out of the tray, allowing
the water to drain. Thereafter, an old newspaper is opened up and the
pulp mixture is placed inside. Then, use a rolling pin to squeeze the
paper down and force out any excess water. Finally, leave your new
paper to dry in a warm place on a flat surface for at least 24 hours.

Correct the essay by Mr. Dudley

The bar chart below shows the net worth of the UK from 2000 to 2010
according to three different sectors.
The bar chart highlights changes in the total wealth of various sectors in
the UK over a decade.
To summarise, while the total wealth of UK households and the
government saw an upward trend in the given time period except in
2008, the figures for business remained the least growing section of the
UK economy. (1)
Between 2000 and 2002, the figures for UK households remained fairly
stable at about 4500 billion. (2) By 2007, UK household wealth had
risen from 4500 billion to just under 7000 billion. While both the
household and government net wealth shrunk significantly in 2008, the
latter’s net worth fell so much that the government sectors actually went
into negative figures in 2010. The trend was similar in case of the total
net worth of the UK. The data for the business community revealed the
opposite trend to that of the rest of the country. Although the net worth
of business in the country improved from 2000 to 2002, this trend did
not last long and began to worsen again only a year later. The best year
for this sector was in 2008, where it hardly showed a negative figure.
(1) Inaccuracy: the trend for the government was downward.
(2) Avoid repeating information
Generally, this is a decent essay, but read the example provided below
for further reference.
The bar chart highlights changes in the total wealth of three economic
classifications in the UK over a decade.
To summarise, while the total wealth of UK households and the
government saw an upward trend in the given time period except in
2008, the figures for business remained the least growing section of the
UK economy.
Between 2000 and 2002, the figures for UK households remained fairly
stable at about 4500 billion. By 2007, UK household wealth had risen
from 4500 billion to just under 7000 billion. While both the household
and government net wealth shrunk significantly in 2008, the latter’s net
worth fell so much that the government sectors actually went into
negative figures in 2010. The trend was similar in case of the total net
worth of the UK. The data for the business community revealed the
opposite trend to that of the rest of the country. Although the net worth
of business in the country improved from 2000 to 2002, this trend did
not last long and began to worsen again only a year later. The best year
for this sector was in 2008, where it hardly showed a negative figure.

The bar chart compares the total wealth of the UK based on three
economic categories (hạng, loại, phạm trù), namely households,
businesses and government over a decade starting in 2000.
In general, households were by far the wealthiest category and together
with businesses recorded an upward trend, although figures for the latter
remained negative throughout the comparison period. On the other hand,
despite some fluctuation, government wealth declined.
The figures for household and total wealth followed a very similar
pattern, both starting at around 4,000 billion. Subsequently, the two
categories rose significantly until 2007 then experienced a slight
decrease in 2008 before recovering to reach a peak of around 7,000
billion in 2010.
Meanwhile, government net wealth registered a decreasing trend, with
figures of around 200 billion at first but which had declined to zero by
the end of the period, despite some marginal rises in between. On the
other hand, the business sector was the only category to record negative
numbers, which started at close to -1000 billion but improved to about -
200 billion in 2010. Only in 2008 did this sector show a neutral figure of
zero worth.

How to make recycled paper from old newspapers.

The diagram illustrates the way to transform unwanted newspapers into
fresh, reusable paper sheets.
It can clearly be seen that there are nine steps involved in the production
of this product with the need of old newspapers and ending with drying
in the sun for a whole day. (1)
The preparation stage starts with collecting old newspapers and
shredding them into a smaller piece. Then, 250 ml of water is added and
the paper is left to soak for up to an hour. Next, an electric mixer is used
to beat the mixture for about 45 seconds until pulp is formed. Turning
into the production stage, when it is ready, the pulp is poured into a
shallow tray and further 100 ml of water is added. (2) Afterwards, use a
piece of mesh, to carefully lift the pulp mixture out of the tray, allowing
the water to drain. Thereafter, an old newspaper is opened up and the
pulp mixture is placed inside. Then, use a rolling pin to squeeze the
paper down and force out any excess water. Finally, leave your new
paper to dry in a warm place on a flat surface for at least 24 hours.
(1) An overview that gives brief detail of the start and finish of the
process is a good technique nut also refer to the example provided
below.
(2) You must describe step 5 (see below).
Generally, this is a very good essay. Well done!
The diagram illustrates the way to transform unwanted newspapers into
fresh, reusable paper sheets.
It can clearly be seen that there are nine steps involved in the production
of this product with the need of old newspapers and ending with drying
in the sun for a whole day.
The preparation stage starts with collecting old newspapers and
shredding them into smaller pieces. Then, 250 ml of water is added and
the paper is left to soak for up to an hour. Next, an electric mixer is used
to beat the mixture for 45 seconds until pulp is formed. Turning into the
production stage, when it is ready, the pulp is poured into a shallow tray
and further 100 ml of water is added. Afterwards, use a piece of mesh, to
carefully lift the pulp mixture out of the tray, allowing the water to drain.
Thereafter, an old newspaper is opened up and the pulp mixture is
placed inside. Then, use a rolling pin to squeeze the paper down and
force out any excess water. Finally, leave your new paper to dry in a
warm place on a flat surface for at least 24 hours.
This is an example essay based on Anna’s original effort. I have
endeavoured to retain a good proportion of her essay but have made
changes to describe various features of the diagram more clearly.
The given diagram illustrates how to reprocess unwanted newspapers
into reusable paper.
Overall, it is clear that nine different steps are involved, which can be
conveniently divided into three separate stages, namely preparation,
production and drying.
Firstly, the newspapers are torn into small pieces and put in a large bowl.
Subsequently, 250 milliliters of water are added and the mixture is then
left to soak for sixty minutes. Next, an electric mixer is used to stir this
mixture for 45 seconds in order to create a pulp, which is then poured
into a shallow tray where a further 100 milliliters of water are added and
thoroughly mixed by hand. Following that, a sheet of fine mesh is slid
into the tray so that the pulp can be being lifted and allowed to drain.
The pulp is then place inside a folded newspaper and a rolling pin is
used to squeeze out the remaining excess water.
Finally, the product is transferred to a flat surface in a warm location for
a day in order to complete the drying process, and is then ready for re-
use