A Journey toward effective parenting

Parenting from the heart

Introduction

Being Parent – Facts and our journey

Common difficulties we face as a parent

Factors necessary for development of our children

Parenting styles and outcomes

A- Z of Parenting
 Practically,
Parenting is……
• Meeting the child’s needs to age of 18 or
sometimes longer.
• Guiding the child toward the goal of
becoming a competent adult.
 Facts
• No one is born with all the preparation needed to be
an effective parent
• Many parenting skills must be learned through
gaining knowledge and experience
• Humans are not perfect, so no one can be a perfect
parent
• Mature adults should strive to become competent
parents, not perfect parents
 LET’S SEE OUR JOURNEY
(In past few years)
• We get married to get settled
• We plan kids to enjoy parenting
• We come to know about some issues in kids
• We get stressed. Pre occupied with fears.
• All of sudden our life changes
• We start expecting more from kids which is
supposed to be natural development with natural
interactions
• Our relation with kids gets affected
• We get further stressed and the cycle continues
• Academics adds further stress diverting from natural
development process.
 Factors necessary for child’s
development
• Child interest
• Nutrition
• Play environment
• Family members interaction
• Positive attitude of parents
• Social atmosphere
• School
• Choose the right doctor who can guide
 Various behaviors/ issues shown by
children
• Negative behaviors – lying, stealing, slapping
• Non Compliance – not following the
commands/ wish
• Anxiety- feeling of nervousness, worry
• Low self esteem- poor confidence in your own
ability
• Low self confidence
• Mood swings
• Attention seeking
• Problem solving skills
 Common Complaints from
School/ Parent
• Hitting and irritating
• Attention seeking, always in hurry to finish off the task
• Not following instructions, Doesn’t listen
• Attention and concentration during studies
• Doesn’t sit at one place
• Not studying on his/ her own, avoids study
• Continuously on mobile/ watching cartoons on T.V./
Playing PS4 video games
• Easily forgets whatever is learnt
• Cannot read on his/her own, does spelling mistakes
• Sometimes finds math difficult/ incomplete notebooks
 Common difficulties faced as a parent??
• Both parents are working
• Less time for children
• Nuclear family
• Work stress
• Time management
• Social media/ social environment
• Conflicts with spouse due to work pressure/
blame game
• Self esteem v/s ego
• Negative discussions at home about teachers/
office atmosphere/ school ptms
 Parenting Styles and Outcomes

Authoritarian: Limits without Freedom

These parents are
• extremely strict and are often cold.
• They communicate through lectures, yelling,
punishment, and one-sided discussions.
 OUTCOME
• Obedient
• Distrustful
• No expression of Freedom
• Withdrawn
• Unhappy
• Hostile
• Low Achievers
Permissive: Freedom without limits
• On the other extreme of the parenting
spectrum is permissive parenting.
• As the name suggests, permissive parenting
is more of an "anything goes" attitude.
• These parents do not attempt to exert any
sort of control over their children.
 OUTCOME
• Aggressive
• Least self—reliant
• Least self-controlled
• Least exploratory
• Most unhappy
Democratic: Freedom within limits
• Democratic parenting is the middle ground
approach and is often considered the parenting
ideal.
• Democratic parenting is based on warmth,
love, guidance, and positive discipline.
 Outcome
• Happy
• Mostly self-reliant
• Mostly self-controlled
• Content, friendly, generous
• Cooperative
• High-achiever’
 Our children observe us everyday
• Children never learn from preaching, they learn
from observation- you need to create your own
examples for them.
• We fight with our life partner or rude with our
parents, we can’t expect our child to be
respectful?
• We do negative discussions about teachers,
friends in front of children
• Do not feel ashamed to accept mistakes and say
a sorry.
 Contd…
• We give false reasons to take leave from the
office but child is observing us, so we cannot
expect our children to be truthful.
• Stop finding the mistakes and always appreciate
small things done by them.
• Create opportunities to share your opinions,
your perspectives with them.
• Teach them to help others by modeling. Let
them watch you helping others.
Understand the child
 OUR PERSPECTIVE

CARE FEAR
I understand I focus on child’s
child’s needs weaknesses
accept his and work
weakness and according to
work according social
to child’s ability expectations
 POSITIVE PARENTING
CARE FEAR
• Enjoy your school
today • Don’t cry in school
• What will you do if today
its raining • Don’t go out its
• Acknowledging raining
good behaviors
• Oh you are playing • Identifying
monkey on the mistakes
couch lets play on
floor by • Don’t jump on the
channelizing play couch
Things to remember when you are
with the child
• Understand the problem child is facing
• Understand learning patterns of child
• Understand Strengths and weaknesses
• Understand behavior and how to work
on it
• Develop rapport with the child
• Help child to learn from environment
• Help child to Develop formal education
A-Z of Parenting
A- Accept your child for the wonderful
person he or she is
B- Be a good role model in all you say and
do.
C- Communicate respectfully and listen
attentively to your child.
D- Discipline fairly, firmly and with love
E- Encourage good eating habits
F- Find ways to get and stay fit together
G- Give chores that built responsibility
H- Hug your child to build self worth
I- Instil respect for other people
J- Join PTMs and other school activities to
assess child’s progress
K- Keep your promise or do not make them
L- Laugh together and enjoy each other’s
company
M - Make family rules and enforce them
consistently
N - Never Use physical force on your child
O - Offer your help whenever it’s needed
P - Praise your child for achievements as well
as for efforts
Q- Quickly stop your child from harmful
activities.
R- Read together often and make reading fun
S- Show patience and remember nobody is
perfect
T- Teach health and safety rules.
U- Use every opportunity to show your love
V- Value your child’s thoughts and opinion
W- Wait until you cool down before
disciplining your child
X- Xerox and save records of your child’s
achievements
Y- You can make a difference in your child’s
life….so parent with pride.
Z- Zoom over this ABC again and again.
What is the greatest gift you
can give your child?
 Expressing Love
Accept them as they are. Don’t try to mold
them into a clone of yourself. Let them know that
you respect their individuality.

Be there, go to his football games, or school

activities, etc. It will make a difference to them.

Tell them that you love them, regardless of

whether they say it back to you.
HAPPY PARENTING
DR. REENA S. SHINDE
09223299312