From First Drafts to Refined Thoughts:

My Writing Evolution in Writing 2

Shriaan Alshriaan

Perm Number: 7055684

Writing 2

March. 15, 2024

 1

As I begin to reflect on my portfolio, it becomes clear that my journey through Writing 2

has been one of great transformation and growth. This course has not only challenged my initial

perceptions of writing but also provided me with great insights into the complexities of writing.

The revision process has given me a better understanding of my style, highlighting areas for

growth. This reflection explores the specific changes in my writing projects, showcasing my

evolution, and a deeper grasp of key concepts. It is a journey from basic writing perceptions to a

more complex appreciation.

Initially, my understanding of writing was simple. I thought writing proficiency was the

ability to craft a perfect draft in a single attempt. This incorrect understanding often led to

writing paralysis, where I found myself overthinking every sentence, trying to perfect it as I

went. However, as the quarter passed, I learned that writing is an iterative process. As I

participated in the peer-review workshops in class, I realized that no matter how hard I tried to

construct the final draft the first time, there were always improvements to be made. This

revelation taught me that writing is not about achieving perfection but learning to evolve a piece

through looking at it from different perspectives, with fresh eyes, every time. The writing process

never ends, it is just that the writer runs “out of energy, interest, or time.”1 This new

understanding paved the way for other revelations.

Before Writing 2, I never properly understood the concept of genre. I always just

regarded it as a fancy synonym for type. But now, I realize just how versatile and useful of a

concept it is. Viewing genres as typified utterances within bubbles of recurrent situations has

illuminated many nuances of writing for me.2 For instance, this perspective explains to me why

1
"1 Understanding Style," PDF file, 5.
2
Lisa Bickmore, “GENRE in the WILD: Understanding Genre Within Rhetorical (Eco)Systems,”
Pressbooks, August 1, 2016,
https://pressbooks.pub/openenglishatslcc/chapter/genre-in-the-wild-understanding-genre-within-rhetorical
-ecosystems/.
 2

certain stylistic choices, such as specific citation formats are used. They are not arbitrary but are

developed in response to the collective needs and preferences of a particular discourse

community. I can imagine that many conventions developed because of the frustration of

numerous readers of that genre over time. What is more fascinating to me is the dynamic nature

of genres. Every writer ever so slightly changes the genre, making it evolve. It is fascinating that

in particular, the elite of that genre, who are at the top, have the most influence and leeway in

following these conventions. Newcomers to the genre typically learn these conventions by

emulating the works of these influential figures, continually shaping and reshaping the genre.

Grasping genres lead me to also rethink style and argumentation.

In terms of writing style and argument construction, my perspective shifted significantly.

Previously, I thought that the density and complexity of text indicated its quality. Like many, I

struggled to understand these texts, feeling that I wasn’t smart enough. Therefore, to sound

smart, I often imitated that style. But now, I realize that often, it is the writing style of the author

that makes the text hard to understand. This understanding extends to the construction of

arguments as well. I’ve learned that constructing an effective argument is more than just

presenting evidence. It is about guiding the reader through that evidence, providing an

interpretation that supports the over-arching claim. Armed with these new insights, I naturally

proceeded to explore my distinct style of writing.

Discovering my unique writing style was a process of self-reflection and experimental

exploration. I found that beginning with a basic outline of my key ideas aids in structuring my

thoughts. This helps me visualize and jot down the general topics I want to discuss, which

usually end up being the subjects of the body paragraphs. Then, I discovered that doing some

free writes helped me overcome the initial writing hurdle. I just write whatever comes to mind.
 3

Here, my very rough writing serves as a springboard for later development. Following this, I go

through the first round of revision, working on correcting the grammar and removing any

redundancies in the sentences. Only then, do I start writing the introduction. I do this because, at

this stage, I have a clear understanding of my essay’s content, thus enabling me to align the

introduction with the rest of the essay. The conclusion comes next. Then after having done all of

that, I proceed to improve the flow between my paragraphs. I try to add a sentence at the end of

each paragraph to hint at the topic of the next paragraph. I then add clear topic sentences to each

paragraph, guiding the reader through the essay's progression. All of these developments were

crucial and facilitated the revision process.

Reflecting on my portfolio, the revisions I made were primarily aimed at improving

content, style, and syntax. For content, I did the following. In WP1, I focused on elaborating the

implications of different citation styles, especially how they reflect distinct communities and

their audiences. This deepened the analysis, providing a better understanding of academic

practices. Furthermore, I revised the conclusion making it a better summary of my arguments,

ensuring it reminded readers of the key differences in academic conventions between the

disciplines. Transitioning to WP2, I addressed the need for smoother transitions between

sections. For instance, the transition from the introduction to the main body was choppy. By

adding transitional sentences, I guided the reader more clearly, setting the expectations for the

next discussion. Additionally, following feedback, I added a new paragraph to discuss the

audience of infographics, thereby filling a previous gap in the content. Finally, for the

infographic translation, I clarified what the bar graph under the ‘Common Side Effects’ meant.

To do so, I added the percentages on each bar and a percentage symbol below. Building on these

improvements, I turned my attention to refining language and style.

 4

Changes in language and style improved the clarity of my writing. In WP1, I revised the

sentence structure for better readability, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas. I rearranged several

clauses for a more logical sequence. For instance, “Conversely, epidemiology, concerned with

public health, examines…” became “Conversely, concerned with public health, epidemiology

examines…” Here, I implemented the lesson of avoiding to interrupt “the subject-verb

connection,” making the sentences easier to follow.3 Additionally, I combined sentences to

enhance conciseness. For example, “Furthermore the study identifies potential predictors of

steroid use using logistic regression a simple statistical method. It finds that…” became “In

doing so, the study identifies potential predictors of steroid use, finding that…” Moreover, I

incorporated the use of synonyms to avoid repetitiveness. For example, I replaced ‘complexity’

with ‘evident’ in a sentence. This ensured the text was fresh and engaging.

While making these structural improvements, I also addressed a specific point of

feedback regarding clarity in referencing. Originally, I had referred to articles as ‘first’ and

‘second’, which was confusing. Following the Instructor’s advice, I revised phrases like “the

first/second article” to “the epidemiology/psychology article.” This adjustment made it clearer

for the reader which article was being discussed, enhancing the overall clarity and flow of the

essay. Similar revisions in language and style were implemented in WP2.

WP2 presented a different set of opportunities for stylistic enhancement. Here, I focused

on making the language more precise and impactful. For instance, I changed 'practical

orientation' to 'pragmatic focus,' which conveyed the same idea but more concisely. Another

change was rephrasing sentences to improve readability. Take this sentence: “For example, the

socio-economic infographic uses an icon of a person holding their head with lightning clouds

above them, to communicate poor mental health.” I found it very difficult to read through,
3
"7 Style Shape," PDF file, 74.
 5

having to juggle most of the sentence in my head before getting to the point. Therefore, I revised

it to become: “For instance, a socio-economic infographic depicts poor mental health using an

icon of a person clutching their head under lightning clouds.” Moving the point of depicting poor

mental health to the beginning made it sharper and easier to follow. Similarly, I tried to shorten

nominalizations as the style readings suggest.4 For example, in one sentence, I replaced “The use

of this style” with “Using this style.” Replacing the phrase with a gerund made the sentence

clearer and more succinct.

In WP2, further language and style refinements were made, especially in the translation

component. It turns out that I did not have the level of audience awareness I do now. I was

naively using specialized terms that were familiar to me as a gym-goer but not to the broader

audience of infographics. For instance, Initially, I used the term “AAS”. Upon recognizing its

specialized nature and after receiving feedback from the Instructor, I replaced it with “steroids”,

a term more familiar to a general audience. Similarly, many other terms like “gynecomastia”

were substituted for simpler phrases like “growth of breast tissue.” These adjustments ensured

that my translation adhered to the principle of minimizing jargon and ensuring accessibility.

Next, I shifted my focus to small details in citations and mechanics.

Although subtle, mechanical adjustments ensured professionalism. For example in WP1,

addressing the Instructor’s feedback, I fixed a footnote issue. Instead of having one footnote for

two separate sentences, I ensured each sentence had a unique reference. This change not only

corrects formatting but also enhances the reader’s ability to trace source material easily. Another

change was regarding quotes. Previously, when introducing several quotes, I treated them as a

block, which is incorrect. After revision, I presented them as bullet points, improving the visual

layout of the essay.

4
"2 Style - Actions," PDF file, 13.
 6

In WP2, the mechanical changes needed were relatively minimal, yet they were crucial

for maintaining the academic integrity and validity of the essay. Previously, I had incorrectly left

the word ‘The’ in upper-case in the middle of a sentence. It is now in the lowercase.

Additionally, I included two new footnotes for the authors Mike Bunn and Janet Boyd. Since I

previously referenced in-class materials and not readings, this ensured I was incorporating valid

material.

All in all, This portfolio stands as a reflection of my growth over the quarter, capturing

my journey from a person who avoided writing to one who can confidently navigate and

contribute to academic discourse. Key improvements in structure, clarity, and language made the

essays more readable and engaging. By addressing feedback, employing synonyms, and fixing

mechanical issues, I elevated the professionalism of my work. I believe the strongest qualities of

my writing are its flow and clarity, along with well-structured arguments. While I take pride in

my growth as a writer, I do aspire to improve my ability to construct digestible long sentences.

 7

Reference List

Bickmore, Lisa. "Genre in the Wild: Understanding Genre Within Rhetorical (Eco)Systems."

Pressbooks, August 1, 2016.

https://pressbooks.pub/openenglishatslcc/chapter/genre-in-the-wild-understanding-genre-

within-rhetorical-ecosystems/.

"1 Understanding Style." PDF file.

"7 Style Shape." PDF file.