The Birthday Party

Bob’s Bedroom
50 Rose Street
The day after my birthday ‘party’!

Dear Parents,
I would like to thank you for all the effort you put into my birthday party yesterday. It was certainly
very eventful! I am sure that one day I will learn to forget it ever happened and recover from my
mental and physical injuries. Who would ever think that so many things can go wrong in such a short
space of time? In the hope that this never happens again, I am writing to let you know how you might
improve my birthday next year, if my injuries have not finished me off before then!

The party began on time, which was probably the highlight. It went downhill from there. When you
said I could have up to six guests, I didn’t realise this included gran (who thought it was her birthday
party), your best friend from next door, Beryl, who brought her uncontrollable chihuahua Pooky, you
and Dad and one of my friends. What a shame Alfie didn’t turn up. I think perhaps this could be
because you forgot to deliver his invite, which I noticed was still behind the clock on the shelf in the
kitchen. How thrilling it was to hear you and Dad arguing about whose fault that was.

The cake was brought in with twelve candles ablaze and I was awestruck by the
indoor firework sitting in the middle of it. It looked so big and just like a real
firework – the sort you use outdoors. Everyone sang – I think that’s what that
noise was. Even Pooky joined in. Gran was very excitable.
I’ve never seen her move so fast. She knocked me aside with
her walking stick and blew out the candles before I could
get a breath in. Who cares if her false teeth flew out and
embedded themselves in the cake? Like you said, she was just
trying to help cut the cake and she is nearly 80! I didn’t realise how much cute
little Pooky loves cake. Thankfully, Beryl managed to pull him back after the
sixth mouthful.

The rest of the food was somewhat disappointing. Frozen pizza is tricky to deal with, I know, but
someone needs to tell Dad that you’re supposed to take the plastic wrapping off before you cook it.
It was a good idea to recycle the sandwiches from last year’s Christmas party, too. Hard, dry
sandwiches with inedible fillings are everyone’s favourites. Water is a drink, I agree, but perhaps next
time we could push the boat out and have some cordial in it, or even aim high and have lemonade?
Thank you, Mum, for cutting up your favourite tablecloth to make party hats and napkins. We all
looked amazing. I was so pleased you don’t know how to use the camera on your phone. You are both
nearly 40, so it’s tricky. Also, thank you both for choosing (once again) that 1970s music playlist.
I’m sure I’ll learn the words one day.

Now let’s move on to the entertainment. Dad, you looked so good in Mum’s make-up. Who wouldn’t
want a clown who can gargle happy birthday through a glass of water? Pooky loved it so much, he
had to bite Dad to let him know. Gran, bless her, was asleep on my shoulder by then, so I was a
captive audience. Beryl was merrily joining in. However, the best moment was when dad said,
“I know, let’s light the indoor firework – it’ll be a grand finale!”
 The Birthday Party
Thank goodness you know the number for the fire brigade. At least you
knew how to do that with your phone. As the firefighter said, “Always read
the label.” ‘NOT for use indoors’ is not quite the same as ‘for use indoors’ –
how funny that the label was damaged. My arm will recover from Gran’s grip
of doom and the injuries from the burning tablecloth napkin
shouldn’t leave much of a scar. Redecorating the lounge
might take a little longer. The real grand finale was when
the supermarket delivery driver turned up and said he
was late because the street was blocked off by the fire brigade.
“Apparently,” he said, “some fool has set a firework off indoors!”
Imagine that.

We can try again next year – maybe.

Your loving son, Bob x

Questions About The Birthday Party – A Letter Of Complaint

1. List the six guests for the party, including any that did not turn up.

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2. Which group of words in the second paragraph means ‘went wrong after that’?

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3. From reading the first paragraph, how do you know that the party did not go as planned?
Give three examples from the first paragraph.

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4. Who was responsible for sending out the invites? How do you know?

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 The Birthday Party
5. How old is Bob? How do you know?

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6. Give three examples of how things went wrong with the food at the party.

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7. Why was the supermarket delivery late?

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8. How do you know that the person who booked the food delivery must have booked it at the
wrong time?

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9. Even though Bob’s parents realised the party was going to be tricky without the food delivery,
how did his mum and dad try to make it work? Give an example for each.

Dad tried to make it work by: Mum tried to make it work by: