Culpa Tuya

Mercedes Ron

Your Fault

To my sister Ro,
Thank you for being my playmate,
For listening to me, laughing with me and at me,
And always being there when I need you.

Prologue
The rain fell upon us, soaking us, freezing us, but it didn't matter anymore. I knew
everything was about to change, I knew my world was about to crumble.
"There's no turning back now, I can't even look at your face..."
Desolate tears rolled down her face.
How could I have done that to her? Her words pierced my soul like stabbing knives
tearing me apart from the inside out.
"I don't even know what to say," I said, trying to control the panic that threatened to
overwhelm me. I couldn't let myself... I wouldn't, right?
She stared at me intensely, with hatred, with contempt... a gaze I never thought could
be directed at me.
"We're finished," she whispered, her voice torn but resolute.
And with those two words, my world plunged into a deep darkness, eerie and solitary...
a prison specifically designed for me, but this time, I deserved it.

NOAH

Finally, I turned eighteen.

I still remembered how eleven months ago I counted the days eagerly, longing to finally
reach adulthood, make my own decisions, and run away from that place. Obviously,
things were no longer the same as eleven months ago. Everything had changed so
much that it seemed unbelievable to even think about it. Not only had I grown
accustomed to living here, but I couldn't envision myself living anywhere else but this
city. I had managed to carve out a place for myself in my high school and also in the
family I had to live with.
All the obstacles I had to overcome—not just in these months, but since I was
born—had made me a stronger person, or at least that's what I believed. Many things
had happened, not all of them good, but I held onto the best one: Nicholas. Who would
have thought that I would end up falling in love with him? I was so deeply in love with
him that it hurt. We had to learn to understand each other, to survive as a couple, and it
wasn't easy. It was something we worked on every single day. We both had strong
personalities that clashed often, and Nick wasn't an easy person to handle, but I loved
him madly.
That's why I was more sad than happy about my upcoming birthday party. Nick wasn't
going to be there. It had been two weeks since I last saw him; he had been traveling to
San Francisco for the past few months. He had one more year left to finish his degree,
and he had taken advantage of every opportunity his father had opened for him. Gone
was the Nick who got into trouble; now he was different: he had grown and improved
with me, although my fear was that his old self would resurface at any moment.
I observed myself in the mirror. I had pulled my hair up into a loose bun on top of my
head, elegant and perfect to go with the white dress my mother and Will had given me
for my birthday. My mother had gone crazy with the party she had organized.
According to her, this would be her last chance to play her role, as in a week I would be
graduating from high school and shortly after, moving to university. I had sent
applications to many universities, but I had ultimately chosen UCLA in Los Angeles. I
had already gone through too many changes and moves; I didn't want to leave for
another city, especially not to be away from Nick. He was at the same university, and
even though I knew it was most likely that he would end up moving to San Francisco to
work at his father's new company, I decided to worry about that later. There was still
plenty of time, and I didn't want to get myself down.
I stood up from the vanity, and before putting on the dress, my eyes focused on the
scar on my stomach. One of my fingers caressed that part of my skin, damaged and
marked for life, and a shiver ran through me. The sound of the gunshot that took my
father's life echoed in my head, and I had to take a deep breath to regain composure. I
hadn't spoken to anyone about my nightmares or the fear that overwhelmed me every
time I thought about what had happened, or how my heart raced uncontrollably
whenever a loud noise sounded near me. I didn't want to admit that my father had
caused me another trauma; I already had enough with not being able to stay in the
dark unless I had Nick by my side... I refused to acknowledge that I could no longer
sleep peacefully, or that I couldn't stop thinking about my dead father right next to me,
or how his blood splattering my face had driven me insane. Those were things I kept to
myself: I didn't want anyone to know that I was more traumatized than before, that my
life was still imprisoned by the fears that man had caused me. My mother, on the other
hand, was calmer than ever before because that fear she had always tried to hide had
disappeared; she was finally free. For me, on the contrary, there was still a long road
ahead.
"Still not dressed?" asked that voice that made me laugh out loud almost every day.
I turned to Jenna, and a smile appeared on my face. My best friend looked stunning, as
always. She had recently cut her long hair, and now it fell just above her shoulders.
She had insisted that I do the same, but I knew that Nick loved my long hair, so I had
left it as it was. It reached almost to my waist, but I liked it that way.
"Have I told you how much I admire your perky ass?" she blurted out, stepping forward
and patting my behind.
"You're crazy," I replied, grabbing my dress and pulling it over my head. Jenna
approached the safe, just below where the shoes were. I didn't know the combination
or anything because I didn't use it, but since Jenna had discovered it, she had taken to
storing all sorts of things in it.
I burst out laughing when she pulled out a bottle of champagne and two glasses.
"Let's toast to your coming of age," she proposed, pouring the glasses and handing
one to me. I smiled; I knew that if my mother saw me, she would kill me, but after all, it
was my birthday, and I had to celebrate, right?
"To us," I added.
We clinked our glasses and brought them to our lips. It tasted delicious; it had to be —it
was a bottle of Cristal worth over three hundred
—There are so many people downstairs," she announced, placing her champagne
glass next to mine. I did the opposite: I grabbed mine and drank all the bubbly liquid in
one gulp.
"Don't tell me!" I exclaimed, feeling nervous. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. The dress
was too tight, restricting my freedom to breathe.
Jenna observed me and smiled knowingly.
"What are you laughing at?" I retorted, envious that she didn't have to go through this.
"Oh, nothing. It's just that I know how much you hate these kinds of things, but don't
worry," she replied, leaning close to my ear. "I'm here to make sure we have a great
time," she added, smiling and kissing me on the cheek.
I smiled gratefully. Maybe my boyfriend would miss my birthday, but at least I would
have my best friend by my side.
"Shall we go downstairs?" she suggested, adjusting her dress.
"We don't have much of a choice!"
The whole garden had been transformed. My mother had gone all out; she had rented
a white tent that was set up in the garden. It was filled with balloons and many round
pink tables with fancy chairs, where waiters in jackets and bow ties moved around. At
one end of the space, there was a bar serving drinks, and long tables were adorned
with numerous trays of food provided by a catering service. This wasn't really my style,
but I knew my mother had always wanted to throw me a birthday party like this. We
had always joked about my eighteenth birthday and my move to university, imagining
the things we would hire for the party if we won the lottery... and in the end, we had
won! This was going above and beyond.
When I appeared in the garden, everyone shouted "Happy birthday" in unison, as if I
hadn't known they were all there waiting for me. My mother approached me and gave
me a big hug.
"Congratulations, Noah!" she said, hugging me tightly. I embraced her and watched in
a daze as a line formed behind her to wish me a happy birthday. All my friends from
school had come, along with many parents my mother had befriended, as well as our
neighbors and William's friends. I became so nervous that my gaze unconsciously
started searching the garden for Nicholas. Only he could calm me down. However,
there was no sign of him... I already knew he wouldn't come; he was in another city,
and I wouldn't see him until a week later, for my graduation. But a small part of me still
hoped to see him among all those people.
I spent over an hour greeting the guests until Jenna finally approached me to drag me
to the drink bar. There were two sections, one for those under twenty-one and another
for the parents.
"You have your own cocktail," she informed me with a laugh.
"My mother has completely lost it," I commented as a waiter served us my cocktail. The
guy looked at me and smiled, trying not to burst out laughing. Great, he probably
thought I was a snob.
When I saw the drink, I almost had a heart attack. It was a martini glass filled with
bright pink liquid, colorful sugar rimming the edge, and a decorative strawberry on one
side. Tied to the stem of the glass was a bow with a white "18" made of tiny pearls.
"It's missing the special touch," Jenna remarked, pulling out a flask and discreetly
pouring alcohol into our glasses. At this rate, I would have to pace myself if I didn't
want to get completely wasted before midnight.
A pretty good DJ was playing all kinds of music, and my friends were already dancing
like crazy. The party was a success.
Jenna had dragged me to dance with her, and we were both jumping around like crazy.
I was sweating profusely; summer was just around the corner, and it was noticeable.
Lion was watching us attentively from the side of the dance floor. He leaned against
one of the columns, his gaze fixed on Jenna's enthusiastic moves. I laughed and,
feeling tired, left Jenna to dance with the others.
"Are you getting bored, Lion?" I asked, coming to a stop next to him.
He smiled amusedly, although I could sense that something was bothering him. His
eyes remained fixed on Jenna.
"By the way, happy birthday," he said, as we hadn't had the chance to talk privately yet.
It felt strange seeing him there without Nick. Lion didn't know much about our
classmates; Lion and Nick were five years older than Jenna and me, and the age
difference was noticeable. The people in my class were much more immature
compared to the two of them, so it was understandable that they didn't want to come
with us when we went out with our friends.
"Thank you," I replied. "Do you know anything about Nick?" I asked, feeling a pang in
my stomach. He hadn't called or sent me any messages yet.
"He mentioned yesterday that he's swamped with work, barely getting a chance to
have lunch at the law firm, but he made sure to tell me not to take my eyes off you," he
added, looking at me and smiling.
"Your eyes seem to be fixed on a particular person," I said, noticing how he looked at
Jenna again. At that moment, Jenna turned around, and a genuine smile of happiness
appeared on her face. She was head over heels in love with Lion. When he stayed
over at our place, we would spend hours talking about how lucky we were to have
fallen in love with two guys who were close friends. I knew firsthand that Jenna
wouldn't want anyone else but him, and I loved thinking that Lion was just as smitten
with her. Over time, I had come to adore Jenna. She truly was my best friend, and I
cared about her deeply. She had always been there for me when I needed her, and she
had taught me what a true friend should be like—non-jealous, non-manipulative, and
non-grudge-holding, unlike Beth in Canada. And, of course, I knew she was incapable
of intentionally hurting me.
She approached us and planted a loud kiss on Lion's lips. He held her affectionately,
and I moved away from them, suddenly feeling sad. I missed Nick; I wanted him to be
here, I needed him. I glanced at my phone again, but still no calls or messages from
him. It was starting to bother me. It wouldn't take him more than a few seconds to send
me a message. What the hell was going on?
I walked over to the bar where a bartender was serving drinks to the few people over
twenty-one who were still there. It was the same bartender who had been making my
cocktails earlier with the help of another server.
I sat at the bar and observed him, contemplating how to charm him into serving me a
drink.
"Would it be too much to ask for something that's not pink and has alcohol?" I
commented, knowing he would probably send me somewhere else.
To my surprise, he smiled and, making sure no one was watching, pulled out a shot
glass and filled it with a clear liquid.
"Tequila?" I asked, smiling.
"If anyone asks, it wasn't me," he replied, looking away.
I laughed and quickly brought the shot glass to my lips. The liquor burned my throat,
but it tasted really good.
I turned around and saw Jenna dragging Lion into a dark corner. I was starting to feel
down seeing my friends embracing and kissing.
"Another one?" I proposed to the bartender. I knew I was pushing it, but it was my
party, and I deserved to have whatever I wanted, right?
I was about to drink it when suddenly a hand appeared out of nowhere, stopping me
and taking it away.
"I think you've had enough," a voice asserted.
That voice.
I looked up, and there he was: Nick. Dressed in a shirt and dress pants, his dark hair
slightly tousled, and his blue eyes shining with restrained, mysterious, yet brimming
happiness.
—Oh my God! —I exclaimed, bringing my hands to my mouth. A smile spread across
his face, my smile. I jumped into his arms a second later. "You came!" I shouted, my
cheek pressed against his, squeezing him tightly against me, sensing his scent, feeling
whole again.
He held me tightly, and finally, I could breathe. He was there, oh my God, he was there
with me.
"I missed you, freckles," he whispered in my ear before pulling my head back and
pressing his lips against mine.
I felt my nerve endings awaken; it had been fourteen long days since I felt his mouth
against mine or his hands on my body.
He pulled away, and his eyes roamed over my body eagerly.
"You look beautiful," he murmured, his voice husky, placing his hands on my waist and
pulling me close to him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to control the urge to keep kissing him. I
knew we couldn't do anything; we were surrounded by people, and our parents were
around... I got nervous.
"I wasn't going to miss your birthday," he assured me, and his eyes wandered back to
my body. I could feel the electricity between us. We had never been apart for so long,
at least not since we started dating. I had gotten used to having him with me almost
every day.
"How did you manage to come?" I inquired against his chest. I didn't want to let go of
him.
"Best not to ask," he replied, kissing the top of my head. I smelled his cologne and
closed my eyes in ecstasy.
"Nice party," he said, laughing.
I pulled away from his chest and looked at him with a scowl.
"It wasn't my idea."
"I know," he assured me with a big smile.
I felt my heart swell with happiness. I had missed that smile.
"Do you want to try my signature cocktail, Noah?" I said, turning to the bartender, who
heard me and got to work.
"Do you have your own cocktail, freckles?" he asked, furrowing his brow when the
bartender served him the pink drink, complete with a strawberry, and handed it to him a
few seconds later.
He looked at it with an expression that made me laugh. "I suppose I'll have to try it..."
Poor thing drank it all without complaining, even though it tasted like melted candy.
My smile of happiness couldn't fit on my face, and he caught my joy. His hand pulled
me, and his lips went straight to my ear. He barely grazed the sensitive skin of my
neck, and I felt like I was dying from that simple contact of his mouth on my skin.
"I need to be inside you," he whispered then.
My legs trembled.
"We can't do that here," I replied in a whisper, trying to control my nervousness.
"Do you trust me?" he asked then.
What a silly question that was. There was no one I trusted more.
I looked into his eyes; that was my answer.
He smiled in that way that drove me crazy.
"Wait for me in the back of the pool house," he instructed, giving me a quick peck on
the lips. Before he left, I clung tightly to his arm.
"Aren't you coming with me?" I said nervously.
"I think the trick is for no one to realize what we're about to do, love," he confessed with
that mischievous smile that made me tremble from head to toe.
I watched him go to greet the guests, exuding confidence from every pore of his skin. I
stayed there for a few seconds, observing him, feeling the butterflies start to flutter in
my stomach. I didn't want to admit that I was afraid to go there alone, in the dark, away
from the crowd.
Trying to control my breathing, I picked up the shot glass from the bar and brought it to
my mouth. The liquid calmed me for a few seconds. I took a deep breath and made my
way to the pool, beyond the tent where people were dancing and having fun. I walked
along the edge, trying not to fall into the water, until I reached the small house at the
back. On the other side were the trees surrounding it, and a little further, the sound of
waves crashing against the cliff reached my ears. I leaned my back against the back
wall of the house, still hearing the noises of the guests and trying not to lose my
composure.
I closed my eyes nervously, and then I heard him arrive. His lips landed on mine so
quickly that I could barely say anything. I opened my eyes and met his gaze.
His eyes said it all.
"You have no idea how much I've missed doing this," he commented, gripping my neck
and kissing me softly.
I melted, quite literally, in his arms.
"God... how I've longed to touch you!" he exclaimed, and his hands roamed up and
down my side while his nose caressed my neck with infinite slowness.
My hands flew to the nape of his neck, pulling him back to my mouth. This time we
kissed with more desperation, heating up like the blazing fire of a wildfire, his tongue
entwining fiercely with mine, and his body pressing against mine. I wanted to touch
him, to feel his skin beneath my fingers.
"Did you miss me, freckles?" he asked, caressing my cheek with one hand, observing
me as if I were the gift and not the other way around.
I tried to nod, but my breathing was so fast that only a gasp escaped, which intensified
when his lips moved to my neck.
"I'm not going to leave again," he said between kisses.
I laughed without joy.
"That's not up to you."
He searched my gaze.
"I'll take you with me... wherever I go."
"That sounds very romantic," I replied, kissing him on the jaw.
Nick held my face in his hands.
"I'm serious, I was craving you."
I laughed again, and then his mouth silenced me with a kiss full of contained passion.
“I want to take off this damn dress," he growled through gritted teeth, lifting my dress
until it was bunched around my waist. His eyes fixated on my bare skin, and he looked
at me with desire reflected in his gaze, a dark desire fueled by the distance and time
we had been apart.
"I would make love to you all night," he uttered. His hands paused at the elastic of my
underwear.
I shivered from head to toe.
"Do you prefer to wait?" he asked, desire gleaming in his darkened eyes. "I would take
you to my apartment, but I suppose you would be missed."
"Yes, you suppose correctly..." I said, biting my lip. I had never done it with him in those
circumstances, but I didn't want to wait. Nick pressed me against the wall, and I felt the
brush of his excited body against mine.
"We'll be quick, no one will see us," he assured me in a whisper, never ceasing to kiss
me.
Finally, I nodded, and his fingers lowered my underwear until it fell to the ground.
My fingers went to his tie, and I pulled it off.
"I want to see you," I said, stepping back.
He smiled tenderly and kissed the tip of my nose. He guided my hands until I could
intertwine them at the back of his neck.
I watched him without moving as he unbuttoned his pants. A second later, he had me
pressed against the wall. He looked at me sweetly, with dilated pupils, preparing me
with his gaze, conveying a thousand things. He kissed me, and then he entered me. I
had started taking birth control pills months ago, and I appreciated the sensation of
truly feeling him without barriers. A muffled cry escaped me, and his hand moved to
cover my mouth.
"You can't make noise," he warned me, still immobile.
I nodded, my nerves on edge. He began to move, slowly at first and then picking up the
pace. Pleasure started to build inside me with each of his thrusts, his hand moved
away from my mouth and caressed me where I yearned for his touch the most.
"Nick..."
"Wait..." he requested, holding onto my thighs with a firm grip. I closed my eyes, trying
to hold back.
"Let's do it together," he whispered in my ear.
His teeth seized my lower lip, biting it, and the pleasure inside me intensified to the
point where I couldn't hold it any longer. The scream that escaped my lips was muffled
by his mouth on mine. Immediately, I felt him tense until he groaned, joining me on that
journey of infinite pleasure.
I threw my head back, trying to control my breathing, while Nicholas held me tightly in
his arms.
"I love you, Nick," I declared, as his eyes locked intensely with mine.
"You and I aren't meant to be apart," he replied.

NICK

Damn, how much I had missed her...! The days had felt endless, not to mention the
weeks. I had to work twice as many hours to be allowed to return earlier, but it had
been worth it just for this.
"Are you okay?" I asked, my breathing still rapid. We had never done it like this, never.
With Noah, I had self-control, I treated her as she deserved, but this time I couldn't
wait. The moment I saw her, I wanted to make her mine.
Our eyes met, and an incredible smile spread across her lips.
"It was..." she began, but I silenced her with a kiss. I was afraid of what she might say;
I had gotten lost in the heat of the moment. That night, she looked more stunning than
ever in that virginal dress she wore, driving me crazy.
"I love you madly, you know that, right?" I affirmed, pulling away from her.
"I love you more," she replied, and as she did, I noticed a bit of blood on her lip.
"I hurt you," I observed, caressing her lower lip with my finger and wiping away the tiny
droplet of blood that had emerged. Damn, I was a brute, an idiot. "I'm sorry, freckles."
She licked her lip absentmindedly... looking at me.
"This was different," she said a moment later. And it truly had been.
I stepped away from her and fastened my pants. I felt guilty; Noah deserved to make
love in a bed, not against a wall, in a quick and dirty encounter.
"What's wrong?" she asked, looking at me with concern.
"Nothing, sorry," I replied, kissing her once again. I lowered her dress over her hips,
trying to contain the urge to pick up where we left off. "Happy birthday," I wished her
with a smile, taking out a small white box from my pocket.
"Did you bring me a gift?" she asked, excited. She was so sweet and perfect... Just
seeing her put me in a good mood, just touching her made me feel electrified.
"I'm not sure if you'll like it..." I commented, suddenly getting nervous.
Her eyes widened as she looked at the box. "Cartier?" She looked at me, surprised.
"Have you gone crazy?"
I furrowed my brow and shook my head, waiting for her to open it. When she did, the
little silver heart shimmered in the darkness. A smile appeared on her face, and I let
out a relieved sigh.
"It's beautiful!" she exclaimed, touching it with her fingers.
"This way, you'll carry my heart wherever you go," I declared, kissing her on the cheek.
It was the cheesiest thing I had ever said in my life, but she had that effect on me,
turning me into a complete, love-struck idiot.
Her eyes met mine, and I saw them glistening with tears.
"I love you, I love it!" she exclaimed, and then she kissed me on the lips.
I smiled and asked her to turn around so I could put on the necklace for her. Her neck
was exposed with that dress, and I had to kiss her on the nape. She shivered, and I
had to take a deep breath to resist taking her right then and there. I put on the necklace
and watched as she turned around with a smile.
"How does it look on me?" she asked, looking down.
"You look perfect, as always," I replied.
I knew we had to go back, and it was the last thing I wanted to do at that moment. I
wanted to be alone with her, well, truth be told, I always wanted to be alone with her,
but I especially desired it in that moment, after so long without seeing each other.
"Am I presentable?" she asked innocently.
I smiled.
"Of course," I replied as I buttoned up my shirt and picked up the tie from the floor.
"Let me do it," she requested, and I burst out laughing.
"Since when do you know how to tie a tie?" I asked, knowing well that she had never
known how to do it; in fact, I was the one who used to do it for her when I lived in that
house.
"I had to learn because my attractive boyfriend left me in exchange for a bachelor pad,"
she retorted as she finished tying the knot.
"Attractive, huh?"
She rolled her eyes.
"Let's go back, or everyone will know what we've been up to."
I wished everyone would find out, so those little brats would stay away from my
girlfriend. However, despite everything we had experienced together, to most people,
we were still step-siblings.
I let her go first and smoked a cigarette in the meantime. I knew Noah didn't like it
when I smoked, but if I didn't, I would go crazy. Before leaving, something caught my
attention. Her underwear was lying on the ground beneath my feet.
Had she gone without wearing anything underneath?!
When I returned, I saw her talking to a group of friends. There were two guys in the
group, and one of them had his hand on her back. I took a deep breath to calm myself
and approached them. As soon as Noah saw me, she wrapped her arm around my
back and rested her head on my chest.
I calmed down. That gesture was enough.
"Have you seen Lion?" I asked her as I scanned the area, searching for my friend. I
was a little worried about him. He had called me when I was in San Francisco and told
me that his brother, Luca, would be released from prison soon. He had been in jail for
four years, caught selling marijuana, and no one could prevent him from being locked
up. To be honest, I wasn't thrilled about Luca getting out. It's not that I wasn't happy for
Lion, after all, my friend was alone and his older brother was the only family he had left,
but I knew how his brother could be, and I wasn't sure if it was in Lion's best interest to
have a former convict by his side at this stage of his life.
"Well, I haven't seen him in a while, to be honest," Noah replied. "Anyway, I think you
should go say hello to our parents now..." she added, and I instantly tensed up.
After Noah's kidnapping, it was very clear that our relationship was serious, and our
parents didn't like it one bit. Since then, they made sure to remind us every time they
saw us together. I knew my father wouldn't allow such a scandal. After all, we were a
public family, and he made it very clear that, outwardly, we had to continue being just
siblings. But I was surprised that Raffaella wasn't on our side. On the contrary, from
that moment on, she looked at me with suspicion, which drove me crazy.
"Oh, look! My son has returned," my father exclaimed, putting on a fake smile.
"Dad," I greeted him briefly. "Hello, Ella," I greeted Raffaella in the best tone I could
muster. To my surprise, she smiled and gave me a hug.
"I'm glad you could make it," she declared, her gaze shifting to Noah's. "I was very sad
until I saw you."
I looked at Noah, who blushed, and winked at her.
"How's it going at the law firm?" my father asked.
The bastard had put me to work under Steve Hendrins, an authoritarian jerk who was
running the firm until I gained enough experience to inherit leadership. Everyone knew
I was perfectly qualified, but my father still didn't trust me.
"Exhausting," I replied, trying not to glare at him.
"As life itself," she blurted out then. Her words put me in a bad mood. I was tired of
hearing those kinds of nonsense. I had stopped behaving like a brat months ago, I had
taken on the role that was expected of me, and I never stopped for a minute. Not only
was I working for my father, but I also had one more year of college and many exams
ahead of me. Most of my classmates didn't even know what a law firm was yet, and I
had more experience than many who already had their degree. However, my father still
didn't trust me.
"Would you dance with me?" Noah interrupted at that moment, avoiding me from
spouting some nonsense.
"Sure."
I led her to the dance floor. They had put on a slow song, and I pulled her close to me
carefully, trying not to let my bad mood or anger affect the only person who mattered to
me at that party.
"Don't be angry," she pleaded, caressing the back of my neck. I closed my eyes, letting
her touch relax me.
My hand lowered to her waist, grazing the small of her back.
"It's impossible for me to be angry with you, knowing that you're not wearing anything
under that dress."
"I didn't even realize," she replied, stopping the caress.
I looked at her. She was beautiful.
I pressed my forehead against hers. "I'm sorry," I apologized, observing her and
delighting in her beautiful eyes.
She smiled at me a second later.
"Will you stay tonight?" she asked then.
Damn it, the same argument again. I had no intention of staying there. I had moved out
months ago, and I hated being under my father's scrutiny. I couldn't wait for Noah to
move to the city; everything would be better with her by my side.
"You know I won't," I said, shifting my gaze to the people who occasionally glanced at
us. Siblings probably didn't dance like this, but at that moment, I didn't give a damn.
"It's been two weeks since I last saw you. You could make an effort and stay," she
pleaded, her tone changing. I knew that if we kept going like this, we would end up
arguing, and that wasn't what I wanted.
"To sleep apart? No, thanks," I snapped in a bad mood.
She looked down silently.
"Come on, freckles, don't be angry... You know I hate staying here, I hate not being
able to touch you, and I hate listening to the nonsense my father has to say to me."
"Well, then I don't know when we'll see each other because I can't come to the city this
week. I'll be busy with final exams and graduation."
Damn it.
"I'll pick you up, and we'll spend some time together," I suggested, calming my voice
and caressing her back.
She sighed and looked away.
"Don't make me feel guilty, please. You know I can't stay here," I pleaded, holding her
face and forcing her to look at me.
She silently watched me for a few seconds.
"You used to stay before..."
Her eyes finally returned to mine.
"We weren't together before," I concluded.
Noah didn't say anything more, and we continued dancing in silence. Raffaella's gaze
never left us the whole time we were on the dance floor.
3

NOAH

Already, almost all the guests had left. Jenna was bidding farewell to my mother, and
Nick was smoking a cigarette with Lion in the backyard. I looked around at the mess
left behind after the party and felt grateful for having someone who cleaned the house
every day.
After so much socializing, I enjoyed having a moment alone to appreciate how lucky I
was. The party had been incredible: all my friends were there, and they had brought
me spectacular gifts that now sat in a huge pile on the dining room sofa. I was about to
take them to my room when I felt someone wrapping their arms around my waist.
"You've received a lot of gifts," Nick whispered in my ear.
"Yes, but none of them compares to yours," I replied, turning to look into his eyes. "It's
the most beautiful gift I've ever received, and it means a lot because it's from you."
He seemed to ponder my words for a moment until a hint of a smile appeared on his
lips.
"Will you wear it always?" he asked. A part of me understood that it was important to
him, that in a way, he had put his heart into that necklace, and I felt a warm intensity in
the center of my chest.
"Always," I affirmed.
He smiled and pulled me closer. His lips brushed against mine with infinite tenderness,
almost too tenderly. I leaned in to deepen the kiss, but he held me in place.
"Do you want more?" he offered, his lips hovering near mine. Why didn't he kiss me
properly?
I opened my eyes and found him staring at me. His irises were spectacular, a light blue
that sent shivers down my spine.
—You know I do," I replied, my breath quickening and nerves on edge.
"Come with me tonight."
I sighed. I wanted to go, but I couldn't. First of all, my mother didn't like the idea of me
staying overnight with Nick, and most of the time, I lied and said I was at Jenna's
house. Besides, I had to study. I had four final exams that week, and everything was at
stake if I failed.
"I can't," I responded, closing my eyes.
His hand slowly traced down my back, a delicate caress that sent shivers down my
spine.
"Yes, you can, and we'll pick up where we left off in the garden," he replied, his lips
brushing against my ear.
I felt butterflies in my stomach, and desire grew within me. His tongue caressed my left
earlobe, and then his teeth took over... I wanted to go. But I couldn't.
I stepped back, and as I opened my eyes and looked into his, I shivered... I had missed
that dark gaze, that body that both intimidated me and provided infinite security.
"We'll see each other soon, Nick," I said, taking another step back.
His eyes scrutinized me, a mix of amusement and annoyance.
"You know if you don't come, there will be no sex until your graduation, right?"
I took a deep breath. He was playing dirty, but it was true. I wouldn't have much time,
let alone to go down to the city to see him, and if he didn't want to come to my house
because he didn't want to run into his father...
"We can go to the movies," I suggested, my voice faltering.
Nick burst into laughter.
"Alright, as you wish, darling," he accepted, approaching me and placing his lips on my
forehead in a tender and chaste kiss. He did it on purpose, that much was clear. "We'll
meet in two days to go to the movies. And for whatever comes next."
I wanted to hold onto him and beg him to stay. I wanted to tell him that I needed him
because only with him did I stop having nightmares, that it was my birthday that day,
and it was his turn to give in and please me. But I knew that nothing I said would make
him stay under that roof.
I watched as he descended the stairs with ease, got into his Range Rover, and drove
away without looking back.

For the next two days, I barely went outside to get some fresh air. I had to cram so
much information into my head that it felt like my brain was going to explode. Jenna
kept calling me to criticize the teachers, her boyfriend, and life in general. Whenever
there were exams, she would get hysterical, and on top of that, she was in charge of
the graduation party and knew she was getting sick from not being able to dedicate all
the time it deserved.
That night, I had plans with Nick. Supposedly, we were going to the movies, but I was
struggling with Friday's exam, the last one I had left. I wanted to see him more than
anything in the world, but I knew it would completely throw me off balance because his
mere presence wreaked havoc on me, and I knew that if we met up, it would be
impossible for me to continue studying afterward. I was afraid to call him and tell him. I
knew he would get angry. We hadn't seen each other for two days since my birthday,
and although we had been talking on the phone, I had been quite distracted.
That's why I decided to send him a message. I didn't want to hear his voice and get
distracted. I didn't want to start an argument. So I hit "Send," put my phone on silent,
and tried to forget about him for a period of twenty-four hours. Once I finished my
exams, I would see him and do whatever he wanted. But right now, everything was at
stake with that last exam, and I wanted to get the best grade possible.
Two hours later, I was still in my room, looking terrible, with my hair a mess, and a
strong urge to cry or rather, to kill someone. At that moment, the door to my room
opened almost silently.
I looked up, and there he was. With his tousled hair and a white shirt, my favorite.
Damn it! He had gotten all dressed up to go out with me. I forced a forced smile on my
lips and put on a face as if I had never done anything wrong in my life.
"You look handsome."
Nick raised his eyebrows, looking at me in that way that made it incredibly difficult for
me to know what was going through his head at that moment, and he approached my
bed, never taking his eyes off me.
"You stood me up," he calmly reproached, and I couldn't tell if he was reproaching me
or if he was still trying to come to terms with it.
"Nick..." I said, fearing his reaction and feeling guilty.
"Come here," he asked me with a sweet voice. He had a strange look in his eyes, as if
he was weighing something, and I was surprised that he didn't start ranting
immediately.
I wanted to kiss him. I always wanted to kiss him. If it were up to me, I would spend the
whole day with him, in his arms. I sat up and went on my knees to the edge of the bed
where he was waiting for me, standing there.
"I think this is the first time in my life a girl has stood me up, freckles," he said. He
placed his hands on my waist. "I don't know how to take it."
"I'm sorry," I replied, my voice faltering. "I'm so nervous, Nick. I think I'll fail. I don't
know anything, and if I fail, I won't graduate, I won't get into university, I won't work in
what I love: I'll be ignorant, end up living with my mother, can you imagine? I think..."
His lips silenced me with a quick kiss.
"You're the biggest nerd I know, you won't fail," he said. His lips parted, and his eyes
looked at me affectionately.
"I'm going to fail, Nick, I'm serious. I think I'll get a zero, can you imagine? A zero! I'll no
longer be Professor Lam's favorite, even though I've had the best grades in the whole
class. He won't treat me differently anymore, and I actually..."
I closed my mouth when I noticed him silently warning me with his gaze. Okay, I was
going off on a tangent, but... a mischievous smile appeared on his face.
"Do you want me to help you relax?"
"That look, no, don't look at me like that, please... not when you look so good in that
shirt and I look disgusting."
"I'm relaxed," I lied.
"Would you prefer me to help you study, then?" His hand brushed a strand of hair away
from my face, and I internally sighed at the tenderness of the gesture.
Nicholas helping me study? That couldn't end well.
"It's not necessary," I replied softly. I was afraid that if he stayed, we would do
everything except finish Chapter Eight of history, and even though Nick looked
incredibly attractive, I couldn't risk failing.
He smiled, that seductive half-smile, and I watched as he took a step back. He rolled
up his sleeves, took off his shoes, and walked around the bed to sit down while
grabbing my book.
I shivered at the thought of us on that same bed, doing things that had nothing to do
with studying. Nick started flipping through the pages until he found where he had left
off a few minutes earlier.
I forgot about everything, the exams, the university entrance test; suddenly, I just
wanted to sit on his lap and run the tip of my tongue along his jawline.
I started moving closer, and he shook his head, looking up at me.
"Hold on right there," he ordered playfully. "We're going to study, freckles, and if you
know it all by the time we're done, maybe I'll give you a kiss."
"Just one?"
He burst into laughter and refocused on the study materials.
"Let's get started, and if you know it all when we're finished, I promise to relieve all the
stress you're carrying."
And he said it with complete calmness while my body trembled at his words.
Two and a half hours later, I knew the topic from beginning to end. Nick was a good
teacher... to my surprise, he was patient and explained things to me as if it were a
story. On more than one occasion, I found myself captivated, genuinely interested in
the American Civil War. He even shared facts and details that weren't in the book or my
notes.
When he closed the book, after I explained the topic in detail, he smiled proudly, with a
spark of desire in his blue eyes.
"You'll get a perfect score," he said.
I smiled from ear to ear and pounced on him, and he held me tight against his body.
We rolled on the bed, and he kissed me, hungry for my kisses. I slipped my tongue into
his mouth, and he played with it before biting my lip, sucking on it, and slipping it into
his mouth.
I moaned as his hand traveled down my hips, lifted my leg, and wrapped it around his
waist. Feeling his body against mine almost made my eyes roll back as a sweet
pressure brought me close to heaven.
"I got mad when I read your message," he commented, lifting my shirt and kissing my
stomach with delight.
I closed my eyes and arched my neck backward.
"I can imagine," I responded, opening my eyes and noticing that he had raised his
head, observing me with a mixture of excitement and amusement.
"But I enjoyed studying with you, freckles... I realized how much more I can still teach
you."
As he said this, he removed my shorts, and I remained in my underwear, beneath him,
with his mouth dangerously close to the southern part of my body, making me nervous
and squirm on the mattress.
I became tense and fidgeted slightly beneath him.
His hand rested on my stomach, making me stay still.
"I promised you a kiss, right?"
His eyes burned into mine, and I almost melted. When I understood what he meant, I
involuntarily tensed up.
"Nick..." I didn't know if I was ready for that... We had never done anything like it
before, and suddenly, I wanted to get up from the bed and run away.
Nicholas leaned in toward my mouth, with his elbows on either side of my face, and
looked at me calmly.
"Just relax," he instructed, burying his nose in my neck, inhaling my scent, and kissing
me gently.
I closed my eyes and squirmed beneath his body.
"You're so sweet," he said, moving down my stomach, his lips grazing my skin and
sending shivers down my spine.
When he reached his destination, he paused for a moment. It seemed incredibly erotic
to see him there, between my legs, with that look of pure desire, desire for me and no
one else.
He gently pulled my panties down, and I felt so embarrassed that I closed my eyes,
allowing it to happen without knowing if I would like it or not, but not wanting to think
too much about it.
His mouth started by kissing my thighs, one after the other. He delicately parted my
legs as he settled in between, and I trembled.
What came next was worse, much worse.
"Oh, God...!" I exclaimed, unable to keep still.
His hands gripped my waist, and suddenly I felt his kisses tracing circles on my
hypersensitive skin... I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in his caresses and that
perfect moment. When I felt it becoming too intense, one of my hands reached out to
signal for a pause.
"It's even better than I had imagined," he confessed, pausing for a moment before
gently caressing me again. He looked at me with sparkling eyes. "Do you want me to
continue?"
Damn...
"Yes... please," I replied with a sigh. The last thing I saw before closing my eyes again
was his immense smile, and once more, I surrendered to his touch, gripping the sheets
tightly as the sensations grew more and more intense.
God...! I had just experienced the most erotic moment of my life.
When I regained my composure, Nicholas had his chin resting on my stomach, looking
at me as if he had found a treasure at the bottom of the ocean.
I blushed, and he laughed, pushing himself up and positioning himself beside me. I
covered myself with the sheet, and he pulled me into his arms.
"Damn, Noah... tell me why I hadn't done this to you before." I turned around and
buried my face in his chest. Nicholas was still dressed, and I didn't need to look to
know that he had an erection straining against his pants.
Should I do the same?
Nerves started to overwhelm me again, but Nick kissed the top of my head and sat up,
getting off the bed.
"Where are you going?" I asked as he began walking towards the door.
"If I don't leave now, I won't be able to all night," he explained, and I could hear a slight
tension in his voice.
I grabbed the pants that were next to me on the pillow where we had let them fall and
put them on. I got off the bed and walked towards him.
"I'll be done on Friday, Nick, and we'll have the whole summer to ourselves."
I approached him and gave him a loving hug.
Nick held me tightly in his arms and sighed resignedly.
"If you don't get a perfect score on that exam, you'll have to deal with me."
I laughed and moved away from his chest so I could look at him.
"Thank you... for everything," I said, feeling myself blush again.
He reached out and brushed my cheek with his hand.
"You're the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me, freckles. Don't thank me
for anything."
I felt my heart swell with happiness and immense sadness as he kissed the top of my
head and left me there.

"I can't believe it!" Jenna screamed, hugging me like crazy when we received our
grades. We went to the cafeteria and as we entered, we heard our classmates making
a ruckus like never before—shouting, dancing, laughing, applauding. It was pure
madness, a full-blown celebration. The other students looked at us as if we were
insane, some with envy since most of them had years ahead before they could leave.
"They're planning to have a bonfire on the beach to burn the uniforms," a boy informed
us with a radiant smile. "Are you joining?"
Jenna and I exchanged looks.
"Of course!" we shouted simultaneously, which made us laugh like hysterics. We
seemed intoxicated, intoxicated with happiness.
An hour later, after celebrating with our class, roaming the halls acting silly and wasting
time, I walked out of that school that had brought me more good than bad. I
remembered hating it at first, but if it hadn't been for that school, I wouldn't have been
accepted to UCLA or have the opportunity to study English philology, as I had always
dreamed.
I hurried out when Nick sent me a message saying he was waiting for me at the gate.
He stood next to his car, and an incredible smile appeared on his face when he saw
me radiating with happiness. Unable to contain my joy, I ran and threw myself into his
arms. His hands caught me quickly, and I sought his lips with mine until we melted into
a kiss worthy of a romantic movie.
I had finished high school, achieved the best grades, would be attending a university I
could have never afforded, had the best boyfriend in the world whom I adored, and in
two months, I would be living on my own in a university campus with a magnificent
future ahead.
Nothing could be better.

NICK

My girl had graduated. I couldn't help but feel like the proudest man in the world. Not
only was she beautiful, but she was incredibly smart as well. She had finished the year
with the highest grades, and universities were competing to have her. Finally, she had
decided to come to my university here in Los Angeles. I don't know what I would have
done if she had gone back to Canada, as she had initially considered.
I couldn't wait for her to move into my apartment. I hadn't told her yet, but my intention
was for her to come live with me. I was tired of having to endure all the damn
restrictions that our parents had imposed on us as soon as we started dating. Since
Noah's kidnapping, her mother had become completely paranoid. Not only that, but
both my father and Raffaella had started showing how unenthusiastic they were about
their children dating each other. Things had been cooling off gradually, and now that
she no longer lived with them, instead of everything normalizing as I had initially
thought, the opposite had happened. They barely allowed Noah to come to my house
or stay overnight. We had to come up with all sorts of stupid excuses just to be
together without interruptions. It didn't really matter to me what my father or his wife
had to say. I was already an adult, twenty-two years old, and soon turning twenty-three.
I would do whatever the hell I wanted. But it wasn't the same for Noah. She was aware
that the five-year age gap would bring us several problems in the future, but I never
thought it would cause me so many damn headaches.
But now was not the time to think about that. We were celebrating. I was going to take
Noah to the damn bonfire on the beach organized by her class. It wasn't something I
particularly looked forward to, but at least we would spend some time together. The
next day, Noah would be busy with the graduation party, and her mother wanted to
have dinner with her after the ceremony. So either we went out that day or I would
have to share her with everyone again. I knew it sounded selfish, but in those past few
months, with all the school stuff, my trips to San Francisco, and our parents' obstacles,
I hadn't spent even half the time I wanted to be with her, so I was going to seize the
opportunity.
The journey to the beach was pleasant. Noah was excited about her graduation and
didn't stop talking for the twenty minutes it took us to get there. Sometimes I found it
amusing how she gestured with her hands when she was excited about something. In
those moments, for example, her hands seemed to have a life of their own.
I parked the car as close as I could to the crowd of people gathered there. It wasn't just
Noah's classmates on the beach; it seemed like all the damn graduating classes from
Southern California were there.
"We were supposed to be just a few," she commented, looking perplexed, just like me.
"If a few means half the state..."
Noah smiled, ignoring my response, and turned to Jenna, who appeared at that
moment wearing a bikini top and shorts that clung to her like a second skin.
"Let's drink!" Jenna shouted.
All the guys within half a meter cheered, raising their glasses in the air.
Noah hugged her, laughing. When it was my turn, I took advantage of my height and
strength to snatch the glass from her hand and pour the liquid into the sand.
"Hey!" she protested indignantly.
"Where's Lion? He should be here," I said, smiling openly at her annoyed pout.
"You idiot!" she snapped, then deliberately ignored me.
Noah shook her head and came closer, wrapping her arms around my neck and
standing on her tiptoes to get a better look at me.
"Are you sure you don't mind being here?" she asked, stroking the back of my neck
with her long fingers.
"Have fun, freckles, don't worry about me," I replied, tilting my head to press my closed
lips against hers. They were so full and enticing, driving me crazy. "I'll go find Lion.
Come and find me when you miss me."
"I already miss you," she replied, and right at that moment, Jenna pulled her arm in her
direction, tearing her away from my side and taking her off to do God knows what kind
of crazy things.
I gave her a stern look and let her go towards where her friends were preparing the
uniforms to throw them into the fire. A typical tradition... I still remembered the glorious
moment when I had done the same.
I approached one of the smaller bonfires where there were only a few people, and I
stood there watching the fire, hands in my pockets, lost in thought, fantasizing about
everything I wanted to do that summer with Noah, all the possibilities that lay ahead of
us in the coming months.
Suddenly, I noticed Lion, who was alone by the bonfire farthest from the crowd. He had
a beer in his hand and was staring at the flames, just as I had been a few seconds
earlier, except he seemed melancholic and worried. I approached him to talk.
"What's up, man?" I asked, patting him on the back and taking one of the unopened
bottles from a box at his feet.
"I'm trying to make time pass faster at this damn party," he replied and took a long sip
from his beer.
"Getting drunk? Jenna is already pretty wasted. One of us will have to drive, so I'd
ease up on that if I were you," I warned him. He ignored me and took another sip from
his bottle.
"I didn't want to come here. Jenna was really insistent," he told me, looking straight
ahead.
"He graduated, Lion. Don't blame him for not understanding what the hell is going on
with you. I don't understand it either."
He let out a deep sigh and threw the bottle into the fire, which immediately shattered.
"The garage isn't doing as well as before, and the last thing I want is for my brother to
get out of jail and see that I haven't been able to keep the family business afloat..."
"If you need money..."
"No, I don't want your money, Nicholas. We've had this conversation a thousand times.
I can handle it; it's just that things haven't turned out the way I wanted them to, that's
all."
I noticed his expression, and I knew he wasn't telling me the whole story.
"Lion, before you get yourself into any trouble..."
He turned to face me, and I fell silent.
"Before, you had no problem getting into trouble. What the hell happened to you,
Nicholas?"
I held his gaze without blinking.
"My girlfriend was kidnapped, that's what happened to me."
Lion seemed remorseful, looked away over my shoulder, and pulled a cigarette out of
the back pocket of his jeans.
"Speaking of the devil... Noah is coming this way," he announced, distancing himself
from me. I turned around, and sure enough, I saw Noah approaching with a big smile
on her lips and her hair waving in the wind.
I forced a smile and opened my arms as she came closer to give me a hug. She kissed
my chest and then turned to my friend.
"Jenna is looking for you," she informed him with a smile.
"Great," he replied in a very rude tone. The smile vanished from Noah's lips, and I felt
the urge to knock his bad mood out of him.
Without saying a word, he walked away and headed towards where the rest of the
people were. Noah looked into my eyes.
"Is something wrong with him?"
I shook my head and kissed her on the crown of her head.
—He's just having a bad day. Just ignore him," I advised, leaning in to kiss her warm
cheek, heated by the fire, and then getting lost in her neck. My lips had been craving
her skin for days, and the last thing I wanted was to see her upset over an insignificant
matter. "I love you," I declared, trailing down her throat, savoring her skin and relishing
in the way she shivered under my touch.
"Nick," she said a minute later, as my mouth had started to descend towards the curve
of her breasts.
I pulled back for a moment, captivated by her but realizing that we had caught the
attention of several people around us, who were watching us, likely eager to witness a
beautiful and erotic spectacle.
I cursed under my breath and took her hand, pulling her in the opposite direction.
"Let's take a walk," I suggested, moving away from the bonfires and into the darkness
of the night and the harmonious sound of the ocean. There was no better place than
that, and I enjoyed feeling it in its calmness, without all the commotion of a stupid party.
Noah was strangely silent, lost in her thoughts, and I preferred not to disturb her.
Finally, she turned to me.
"Can I ask you a question?" she blurted out, with a hint of nervousness in her voice.
I lowered my gaze to her and smiled playfully.
"Of course, freckles," I replied, stopping next to a tree that had taken root in the sand
and loomed over us. I sat down at its base and pulled Noah between my legs. This
way, I could look into her eyes without the inconvenience of height. "What's on your
mind?" I asked when I noticed she wasn't speaking.
She looked at me and then shook her head.
"Nothing, forget it. It was a stupid question," she responded, avoiding eye contact. I
saw her blush again, and my curiosity surged to unexpected levels.
"No, it's not... What's going on?" I insisted, observing her with interest.
"No, really, it's silly."
—You're blushing like a tomato, and that has only piqued my curiosity even more. Spill
it," I insisted once again.
I hated when she did this, keeping things to herself. I wanted to know everything she
thought or felt, and I didn't want her to be ashamed of anything. Besides, I was so
intrigued that I wouldn't let her get away without telling me what was on her mind.
Her eyes met mine for a few seconds, and then she began playing with a strand of her
hair.
"I was thinking... you know, about what happened the other night when you..." she
spoke, turning scarlet.
I tried not to smile. We had never done anything like that before. I had wanted to take it
slow with Noah, gradually introduce her to intimacy, and above all, wait until she was
ready.
"When I gave you an amazing oral experience?" I asked, enjoying her reaction.
"Nicholas!" she exclaimed, alarmed, glancing left and right as if someone could hear us
in our current location. "Oh God, forget it. I don't even know why I brought it up."
I pulled her towards me and forced her to look at me.
"You're my girlfriend, you can talk to me about anything... What's on your mind about
the other day?" I said, trying to reassure her since I knew she was mortified when it
came to these topics. I had witnessed it when an occasional crude remark slipped out
of my mouth. "Didn't you like it?"
Of course, she had liked it. She had to cover her face to muffle her screams. Damn it,
did we have to talk about this right now? I felt myself getting aroused just thinking
about it.
"Yes, I liked it, it's not that," she replied, looking away. "But... I was wondering if you
wanted... well, if I could do the same to you."
I almost choked on my own saliva.
Noah's eyes found mine again, filled with both embarrassment and desire. Yes, I could
see the desire beneath those honey-colored eyes, and dear God, I couldn't continue
having sex conversations with Noah in public places. It made me nervous just thinking
about it...

"Damn it, Noah..." I exclaimed, resting my forehead against hers. "Do you want to give
me a heart attack?"
She smiled playfully and locked her eyes with mine.
"So, you did think about it," she responded, and I pulled away slightly to look at her,
amazed.
"I think any guy with eyes who had you in front of him would think about it, love. Of
course, I've thought about it, but it's not something we have to do unless you want to
do it."
Noah nervously bit her lip.
"But... it's not fair, I mean, you had to go through that, and I..."
I burst into laughter.
"Go through that? You make it sound like it was torture," I replied, trying to understand
her. "Noah... I did it willingly; in fact, I want to do it again as soon as I get the chance."
Noah's eyes widened, a mix of surprise and excitement. Sometimes I forgot how
innocent she could be.
"Then I'll do the same..." she affirmed, determined, though I noticed some hesitation in
her eyes.
"No," I denied, looking at her with amusement. "It doesn't work like that. The things I do
to you are separate from what you want to do to me; it's not a tit-for-tat situation. When
you want to do it, you will, and if that moment never comes, well... I'll find someone
else," I joked. She swatted my arm.
"I'm serious!" she retorted, catching my attention.
I tried to match her seriousness.
"I know, I'm sorry, but I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, okay?" I
replied, kissing her on the nose.
Noah blinked several times and then focused on me again.
"So, you don't mind?... I'm not saying I don't want to, I just think... well, I don't think I'm
ready yet."
And that's why I was in love with my girlfriend. Any girl without personality would have
given in just to make me happy. Noah was different, if she wasn't sure about
something, no matter what I did to convince her, she would remain true to herself.
"Come here," I said, pulling her closer and kissing her as if it were our last time
together. "Having you by my side is enough for me, love."
Noah smiled sweetly, and a few moments later, we engaged in an epic make-out
session.

NOAH
I was graduating. I don't know if you've gone through something like this, but it's a
wonderful feeling. I knew I still had the toughest part ahead of me, I still had to go to
college, and in retrospect, the worst was yet to come. But graduating from high school
is an incomparable experience. It's a step towards maturity, a step towards
independence, and it's such a rewarding feeling that my whole body trembled as I
waited in line with my classmates for our names to be called.
We were going in alphabetical order, so Jenna was a few spots behind me. The
ceremony was organized perfectly, with great elegance, in the school gardens,
adorned with large panels that read CLASS OF 2016. I still remembered how
ceremonies were like in my old high school. They took place in the gymnasium, with
some decorative balloons and not much else. Here, they had even decorated the trees
surrounding the gardens. The chairs for family and friends were covered with
expensive fabrics, in green and white—the school's corporate colors—and our gowns,
in the same green, were designed by a renowned fashion designer. It was madness,
an incredible waste of money, but over time, I had learned not to be scandalized. I lived
surrounded by billionaires, and for them, it was normal.
"Noah Morgan!" they announced over the microphone. I startled, and nervously, I
walked up the stairs to receive my diploma. I looked towards the rows of family
members with a radiant smile and saw Nick and my mother applauding, standing up,
just as excited as I was. My mother was even jumping up and down like crazy, which
drew a big smile on my face. I shook hands with the principal and joined the other
graduates.
The girl who had beaten me by two tenths in GPA went up to the stage after we
received our diplomas and delivered the graduation speech. It was emotional, funny,
and beautiful. No one could have done it better. Jenna, by my side, shed a few tears,
and I laughed, trying to hold back the urge to follow her example. Even though I had
only been there for a year, it had been one of the best of my life. After letting go of all
my prejudices, I had not only received excellent pre-university preparation at that
school but also made some fantastic friends.
"Congratulations, Class of 2016! We are free!" the teachers cheered emotionally over
the microphone.
We all stood up and threw our caps in the air. Jenna hugged me so tightly it almost
took my breath away.
"And now, let's party!" my friend exclaimed, applauding and jumping around like a
madwoman. I burst into laughter, and soon we were surrounded by hundreds of
relatives coming to greet their children. We bid each other a momentary farewell and
went in search of our respective parents.
Strong arms wrapped around me from behind and lifted me off the ground.
"Congratulations, nerd!" Nick whispered in my ear, placing me back down and giving
me a loud kiss on the cheek. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Thank you! I still can't believe it!" I admitted, burying my face in his neck as his arms
embraced me with enthusiasm.
Before I could kiss him, my mother appeared and squeezed herself between us,
embracing me tightly.
"You've graduated, Noah!" she shouted like a schoolgirl, jumping up and down and
forcing me to do the same. I laughed while watching Nick shake his head indulgently
and laugh at my mother and me. William stopped by our side, and after my mother let
go of me, he gave me a loving hug.
"We have a surprise for you," he announced.
I looked at the three of them suspiciously.
"What have you done?" I asked with a smile.
Nick took my hand and pulled me along.
"Let's go," he said, and I followed the three of them through the gardens. There were
so many people around us that it took us a while to reach the parking lot.
Wherever I looked, there were cars with giant ribbons, some in bright, flashy colors,
others with balloons tied to the mirrors. Oh my goodness! What parent could be crazy
enough to buy such fancy cars for eighteen-year-olds?
Then Nick covered my eyes with one of his large hands and started leading me
through the parking lot.
"But what are you doing?" I asked, laughing, as I stumbled over my own feet. I began
to feel a tingling of unsettling excitement.
"No, it couldn't be..."
"This way, Nick," my mother instructed, more excited than I had ever heard her. Nick
forced me to turn my body and stopped.
A second later, his hand moved away from my eyes, and I was left speechless, quite
literally.
"Tell me that red convertible isn't for me," I whispered in disbelief.
"Congratulations!" William and my mother cheered with radiant smiles.
Nick held a set of keys in front of my nose.
"No more excuses for not being able to come visit me," he said happily.
"You're insane!" I screamed hysterically as it finally sunk in.
Damn it, they had bought me a freaking Audi...
"Oh my God, oh my God!" I started screaming like a madwoman.
"Do you like it?" William asked.
"Are you kidding me?" I replied, bouncing up and down. God, I was so ecstatic I didn't
even know what to do.

I ran towards my mother and William and embraced them in a hug that almost took
their breath away. I had dropped a few comments about saving up to buy myself
another car. Unfortunately, mine had broken down about five times in the last three
months, and in the end, I was spending so much money on repairs that it was worth
getting a new one. But I never imagined they would gift me an Audi!
"I can't believe it, seriously," I confessed as I got into the car. It was beautiful, shiny red;
it seemed to sparkle wherever I looked.
Beside me, there were shouts of joy because I wasn't the only one who had received a
car as a graduation gift. There were more giant ribbons in that parking lot than in a craft
store.
"It's an Audi A5 Cabrio," Nick informed me, sitting beside me.
I shook my head, still in a state of shock.
"This is incredible!" I exclaimed, inserting the keys and listening to the sweet purr of the
engine.
"You're incredible," he corrected me, and I felt a warmth inside me that took me to
cloud nine. I momentarily got lost in his gaze and the happiness I felt. My mother had
to call me twice to snap out of it. Nick, by my side, chuckled.
"Shall we meet at the restaurant?" he asked as William embraced him by the
shoulders.
My mother had made a reservation at one of the best restaurants in town. After dinner
with the whole family, I had the graduation party at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills.
They not only hired the best catering and the largest hall with a capacity of over five
hundred people, but they also rented two entire floors of the hotel so that we could all
stay the night and not have to go home until the next day. It was crazy, and at first, I
had complained since we were paying for it ourselves, albeit at a discounted price, as
the father of one of our classmates was the owner of the hotel. But it had cost a
fortune.
"We had our graduation on a cruise. We didn't come back home until after five days,"
Nick had told me when I expressed my astonishment at what my classmates were
planning. After that response, I decided to keep my opinions to myself.
I nodded eagerly, bursting with excitement to start driving that marvelous car. The
seats were beige leather, and everything was pristine, with that new car smell... a scent
I had never experienced in my life until that moment.
I inserted the keys into the ignition and left the parking lot, leaving the school behind...
forever.
"Noah, slow down, you're going overboard," scolded Nick from the passenger seat.
The wind blew in our faces, tossing our hair back, and I couldn't stop laughing.
The sun was setting, and the view I had at that moment was breathtaking. Vehicles
passed by my side, the sky was painted in a thousand colors, ranging from pink to
orange, and the stars were beginning to appear in the clear, cloudless sky. It was a
perfect summer night, and I smiled, thinking about the month and a half I had ahead to
spend with Nick, truly together, without exams, work, or anything else... We had six
weeks to be together before I moved to the city, and I couldn't stop smiling at that
perfect future.
"Damn, they shouldn't have bought you this car," he muttered next to me. I looked at
him, rolling my eyes, and slowed down.
"Are you happy now, granny?" I teased him. I loved speeding, that was no news.
"You're still exceeding the speed limit," he added, looking at me seriously. I ignored
him; I had no intention of going down to a hundred... One hundred twenty was fine;
besides, everyone sped in that city.
"Hey, you're not in Nascar... Slow down, will you?" he jokingly ordered me a second
later, but the smile on his face seemed to freeze until it eventually disappeared.
To wonder how that graduation would have been if my father hadn't been insane... and
dead. I was certain that it wouldn't have been Nick sitting next to me, and I was also
sure that he wouldn't have insisted on me slowing down...
But what foolishness was I thinking? My father was an alcoholic, a criminal with
murderous instincts; he had tried to kill me... What the hell was happening to me? How
could I miss him? How could I keep imagining a life that had never existed and would
never exist?
"Noah?" I heard Nick calling me. Without realizing it, I had reduced the speed to almost
sixty; cars honked at me and overtook me. I shook my head; I had lost myself in my
thoughts again.
"I'm fine," I assured, smiling and trying to return to the state of euphoria I was in a few
minutes ago. I pressed the accelerator and ignored that twinge I still felt in my heart.
We didn't take much longer to arrive at the restaurant. It was beautiful. I had never
been there, and I was excited to try the food. I had told my mother that I didn't care
where we had dinner, as long as they had the best chocolate cake—that was my
request.
My mother and Will should be arriving soon. I got out of the car, and after doing the
same, Nick approached me. He looked handsome, wearing dark pants, a white shirt,
and a gray tie. I fell in love with him when I saw him "so business-like," as I called it. He
smiled in a way he only did when he was with me and watched as I took off the
graduation gown I was still wearing. Underneath, I was wearing a light pink dress that
hugged my body like a glove and had geometric patterns on the back that revealed
patches of skin.
"You look spectacular," he said, placing a hand on the small of my back and gently
pulling me towards him. Even with the heels I was wearing, we weren't at the same
height. My eyes fixated on his lips, on how attractive he was, all of him.
"You too," I replied, laughing, knowing how little he liked being complimented. I didn't
understand why, but he felt really uncomfortable when I let him know how handsome
he was. It wasn't a secret; we had only been there in the parking lot for three minutes,
and already more than five women had shamelessly checked him out.
Before I could say anything else, he silenced me with a kiss.
"We're spending the night together tonight," I stated when he pulled away a second
later. The kiss had been too short for my liking.
His eyes looked at me with desire.
"I'm thinking about kidnapping you and having you come live with me in the apartment
all summer," he blurted out.
For a moment, the image of the two of us living under the same roof, but without
parents around, made my heart swell... even though it was crazy, of course.
"I wouldn't say no," I replied, laughing.
"Would you come?" he asked, cornering me against the car. I lifted my hands to his
neck and hugged him, pulling him closer to me. I was about to kiss his lips, but he
leaned back, waiting for an answer to his question.
I smiled playfully, wanting to continue the game.
"I wouldn't mind spending the nights with you, naked... in your bed," I admitted, gently
stroking his hair with one of my fingers.
His eyes looked at me hungrily. I was seducing him, a tactic I had discovered I was
quite good at.
"Don't start something you can't finish," he warned me, leaning in to capture my lips
with his; then, it was me who decided to lean my head back.
Our gazes met: mine, amused; his, dangerous and terribly promising.
I shifted my mouth to his neck, watching as he closed his eyes even before my lips
grazed his skin. I had discovered that a single touch of my mouth in a certain spot on
that part of his anatomy left him completely defenseless.

I knew I couldn't go too far. We were in the middle of a parking lot, and our parents
were about to arrive, but I wanted it so badly...
"Tonight," I said, planting warm kisses on his chin, moving down to his neck, and
sliding the tip of my tongue until it reached his ear. "Make me yours, Nick."
Then, one of his hands rested on my waist, while the other moved up to my nape,
forcing me to tilt my head back.
"I don't have to make you mine, you already are," he replied before kissing me the way
I had been longing for since we had arrived. His tongue entered my mouth without
hesitation or reserve, engaging with mine in a wild frenzy, tasting me or punishing me, I
wasn't quite sure which.
It was incredible what his presence did to my metabolism. His touch, all of him, drove
me crazy. It didn't matter how much time passed, it didn't matter that we had spent the
entire previous day together. I never grew tired of him, I never lost that painful
attraction that seemed to bind us like magnets.
But before my body melted, or rather spontaneously combusted, the sound of a horn
made us jump, abruptly pulling us apart.
"Your mother," he said, looking annoyed.
"Your father," I retorted.
The thing is, both of them glared at us.
My mother got out of the car and walked towards us.
"Can you control yourselves? We're in a public place," she scolded, giving Nick an
accusing look. The truth was, she had been giving him rather unfriendly looks lately... It
didn't sit well with me, I would have to talk to her about it. William appeared shortly
after.
The look he shot at his son sent shivers down my spine.
When we entered the restaurant, I realized that we weren't the only ones who had
chosen that place to celebrate graduation. Several classmates greeted me as they saw
us pass, and I smiled at all of them happily. The waiter led us to a table set up on the
terrace, next to a pool, with numerous candles surrounding both our table and those of
people who had preferred to dine outdoors. The place was very cozy, and the soothing
music of a live piano played in the background, although it took me several minutes to
notice.
Nicholas sat beside me, and in front of us were our parents. I don't know why, but
suddenly I felt uncomfortable. It was one thing to have pizza together in my kitchen as
the four of us, and quite another to sit down for dinner in a place like this. Besides, it
had been months since Nick had stayed for a family meal, and I could almost touch the
tension in the air.
At first, everything went well. My mother, as usual, couldn't stay quiet for a minute. We
talked about everything: my new car, university, Nick, his work, William's new company,
which I knew Nick aspired to lead someday... And little by little, I started feeling more at
ease. Besides, my mother didn't address us as a couple, which could be either
comfortable or irritating, depending on how you looked at it.
It wasn't until after dessert, once I finished a delicious slice of chocolate cake, that my
mother decided to drop the bombshell she had probably been keeping to herself for
weeks.
"I have another surprise for you," she announced when the four of us couldn't eat
another bite. I raised the water glass to my lips, feeling so satisfied and happy that I
wasn't prepared for the bombshell she dropped a second later. "We're going on a girls'
trip to Europe for four weeks!"
"Wait... what?"

NICK

No way.
I think the look I gave that woman was such that even my father was momentarily
speechless. Next to me, Noah fell silent after looking at me for a few seconds.
"Mom, have you gone crazy?" Noah exclaimed in a soft tone.
Why is she pretending? Why the hell isn't she telling her that there's no way she's
going to the other side of the world for the whole summer without me?
"You're growing up and going off to college..." Raffaella began to say without even
looking at me. That's why she kept talking; I was sure that if her eyes met my face, her
lips would have stopped moving immediately, frozen in terror. "I think this is our last
chance to do something together, and I know it probably doesn't excite you as much as
it does me, b-b-but..." And then she burst into tears.
I took a sip of wine, trying to control my anger. I had Noah's hand tightly held under the
table to the point that I think I was cutting off her circulation, but it was either that or
lose control and start spewing a thousand curses that I was swallowing with great
effort.
My father glanced at me for a moment and took a sip from his glass. Had it been his
idea? Was he the one who had put this crazy idea in his wife's head?
But what the hell was I asking myself! Of course, it was his idea. He was the one
paying for this damn trip.
Then my last hope faltered.
"Of course, I want to go, Mom," Noah asserted beside me, and her words felt like a
slap in the face.
Was I not a part of that decision at all? What the hell was I doing sitting there?
I let go of her hand under the table; I was getting angrier by the second. Either I leave
or I'll end up blurting out everything I'm thinking. Then I realized that leaving wouldn't
solve anything; on another occasion, I would have made a scene, but now that
wouldn't do me any good if I wanted to be taken seriously... If I wanted us to be taken
seriously, I had to stay and make my opinion known: they weren't going to take my
girlfriend away from me for a whole month.
Noah, seeing that I let go of her hand, turned her face towards me. I looked at her for a
moment and saw that it was tormenting her as much as it was tormenting me... Well,
something was better than nothing.
Before Raffaella could say anything else, I interrupted her.
"Don't you think you should have consulted us before paying for the trip?"
I think I used all my willpower to formulate that question in the calm tone of voice I had
just used.
Raffaella looked at me. It was in that gaze that I understood that any hope of Noah's
mother accepting me as her boyfriend had vanished. She didn't want me for Noah, and
her face made that abundantly clear.
"Nicholas, she's my daughter and she just turned eighteen. She's still a child, and I
want to spend a month on vacation with her. Is that so hard to understand?"
Before I could say anything, Noah jumped to my defense.
"Mom, I'm not a child, okay?" she replied, pushing her hair back. "Don't talk to Nick like
that. He's my boyfriend, and he has every right not to be happy about this trip."
Not being happy was an understatement, but I let her keep talking.
Raffaella looked at her daughter, her eyes still moist from crying earlier, and seeing the
martyr-like expression on her face made me feel nauseous.
"I'll go on the trip."
What?!
But next time, either we all go or I'm not going," she added, ignoring how her words
were processed by my brain, which suddenly saw everything red.
Her mother smiled, and I felt such heat in my body that I stood up.
My father looked at me, warning me with his gaze.
"I'm out of here," I announced, trying to control my voice. I had the urge to hit someone
so badly that my hands had turned into fists. Noah stood up beside me. I didn't know if
she wanted me to leave with her. I was as angry with her as I was with her mother.
"Nicholas, sit down," my father ordered me, looking around. Always the damn
appearances and always that look of disappointment on his face. I started walking
towards the exit without even waiting for Noah. I needed to get some fresh air.
When I stepped outside, I went straight to the car, but then I realized I didn't have the
keys. That wasn't my damn car. I turned around and leaned against the driver's door.
Noah was walking towards me. Her high heels hadn't allowed her to keep up with my
pace. I took a cigarette out of my pocket and lit it; I didn't give a shit if it bothered her.
When she reached my side, she stopped, her cheeks flushed and her eyes searching
mine. I fixed my gaze on the people entering the restaurant.
"Nicholas..."
I didn't say anything. I heard her take a deep breath, and I shifted my gaze towards
her.
"What did you want me to do?" she asked, standing in front of me.
I turned my face away and let out the breath I had been holding. One month, one
month without Noah; all the plans, all the things I had wanted to do with her, now gone
to waste. I had planned a trip, I wanted to take her with me, visit places together, make
love to her every damn day of the summer, enjoy her company. But she hadn't
hesitated for a moment to accept her mother's gift. It hurt because I believed that she
should have put me first, and she hadn't.
I locked my eyes with hers.
"Give me the keys, I'll take you to your party," I said, breaking the silence. She stayed
quiet, observing me. I knew she wanted to talk about it, but as the seconds passed, I
grew angrier at the thought of not having her for the summer, of her being taken away
from me, even if it was just for a month, and that there was nothing I could do about it.
She sighed and remained silent. Then, she reached into her purse, handed me the
keys, and sat in the passenger seat.
It was better this way. If she started arguing with me, I couldn't be held responsible for
my actions.
7
NOAH

The tension in the car was palpable. I was furious, and I knew he could see it in my
eyes.
I understood perfectly well that he wasn't thrilled about me being away for a whole
month, but what could I do? My mother had organized and paid for the trip, I couldn't
turn it down, she was my mother. We had always talked about my graduation, college,
how we would go together to buy furniture for my dorm room. We had joked about
going backpacking across Europe to share one last summer together while I was still
her little girl, as she used to call me. A part of me wanted to go on that trip, I didn't want
to miss out on the opportunity to be alone with the woman who had given me life and
everything I had. I couldn't just reject her like that.
But there was another significant part of me that ached at the mere thought of not
seeing Nicholas for four whole weeks. I had made plans too, I had wanted to spend
every second of the day in his apartment with him, especially now that I knew I would
soon have to start working and the trips to San Francisco wouldn't be just two-week
visits like the last one.
I looked at him from my seat. His eyes were fixed on the road, his hands gripping the
steering wheel tightly. I feared what was brewing in his mind, but I didn't know what to
do or say to prevent him from getting angry with me.
"Are you not going to talk to me?" I finally mustered the courage to speak up. He didn't
even look at me, although I could see the veins in his neck tense as he clenched his
jaw tightly.
"I'm trying not to ruin your night, Noah," he replied a moment later.
"Trying? Nicholas, you can't blame me for this. I couldn't refuse to go; it's my mother!" I
retorted, losing my composure.
"And I'm your boyfriend!" he yelled, startling me. Here we go, we were about to end up
arguing, and it was the last thing I wanted that night. He turned his face towards me,
and I could see in his eyes that he was itching to say everything he had on his mind.
"Don't do this, don't put me in a corner, don't make me choose between my mother and
you," I pleaded, trying to control my tone of voice.
Nicholas accelerated the car, and I had to hold onto the door. Then I caught a glimpse
of the Four Seasons. A long line of cars awaited their turn for the occupants to
disembark. They would then hand their keys to the hotel staff to park the vehicles.
Several of my classmates were already there with their partners, and the smiles on
their faces made me envious. Mine had already vanished, as usual.
Nick stopped the car behind a Mercedes and turned to me again.
"If I had to choose, I would always choose you," he declared with such coldness that it
sent shivers down my spine. I looked at him incredulously, hurt by his tone but also
feeling guilty for what he meant by that. I shouldn't have to choose between the two
people I loved most in the world. It was a different kind of love, completely different: I
loved my mother above all else, but the love I felt for Nicholas was inexplicable, a love
that hurt, that I adored but that scared me with its intensity. I got out of the car, and as I
turned around, I noticed that he was still sitting in the driver's seat.
"A-Aren't you staying?" I asked, my voice trembling through the window. Damn it!
Those feelings of abandonment and dependency were creeping back in. I didn't want
him to leave, I needed him by my side. I wanted to share that night with him, a night
where I should have had my boyfriend with me.
He averted his gaze from me and fixed it on the people climbing the steep stairs to the
reception.
"I don't know. I need to be alone," he snapped in that tone I hated, the tone that
reminded me of the old Nicholas.
I felt anger taking over me. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that he would take it out on me
when I had nothing to do with it.
"Screw you, Nicholas! We were supposed to spend the night together after more than
three weeks, and you're going to waste it," I retorted, flipping my hair back and getting
angrier by the second. "You can leave. I'll have a much better time without you!"
The jerk didn't even wait to see me enter. With screeching tires, he accelerated and
disappeared through the side exit, screeching tires that belonged to my car. As if that
weren't enough, he left me there stranded with no way to leave if I got fed up with the
damn party.
I headed towards the stairs where many classmates were excitedly chatting. There
were several girls from my class whom I could join, but I didn't feel like approaching
them and pretending I was super happy because I wasn't. I was pissed off, pissed off
and hurt.
"Hey, Morgan!"
I turned around to see Lion's smiling face. My eyes lit up. The last time I had seen him,
he had seemed distant and cold. I was glad to see his radiant smile again. Just like
what had happened with Jenna—who had become my best friend and confidante—I
had ended up liking Lion. He was a wonderful person, affectionate, kind, and not
intimidating at all. At first, I had thought he was, especially because he was Nicholas'
friend, but nothing could be further from the truth. Lion was a sweetheart. I gave him a
tight hug when he approached to greet me.
"Congratulations on your graduation!" he said, letting go of me immediately.
"Thank you," I replied, smiling.
"And where's Nick?" he asked, looking around. The smile vanished from my face.
"He's gone. We had a fight," I answered through gritted teeth. To my surprise, Lion
burst into laughter. I gave him a death stare.
"I give him half an hour before he clings to you like a leech... That's the longest he can
stay away from you," he predicted, ignoring my murderous gaze and taking out his
phone from his pocket.
"Well, I don't want him to come. I don't even want to see him."
Lion rolled his eyes while staring at his phone screen.
"Jenna will be here in ten minutes. Do you want to go in with me?" he kindly offered.
I nodded. It should have been Nicholas who accompanied me to the graduation dance,
but screw him; he was missing out. I had gotten ready specifically for him, bought
expensive lingerie from a store Jenna had recommended, and now he wouldn't even
get to see it. I was so disappointed and angry that I think steam was coming out of my
ears.
As we entered, we found ourselves in an impressive lobby. There were many people
crowded there, and I noticed that many parents of my classmates had decided to come
to the party for a drink. Several uniformed men directed us where to go, and Lion and I
followed their instructions. My classmates were chatting and laughing cheerfully until
we reached the hotel gardens.
Oh my, it was spectacular! They had thrown the best graduation party in history. The
ballroom was open-air, with high cocktail tables covered in elegant satin green
tablecloths surrounding the dance floor in the center. The tables were adorned with
exquisite floral arrangements; if I wasn't mistaken, they were white peonies.
Additionally, elegantly dressed waiters moved back and forth with trays full of
appetizers and glasses of who knows what, because it couldn't be alcohol.
I looked at Lion, who was as fascinated and intimidated as I was. Neither of us had
grown up surrounded by such luxuries, and I was sure we both felt out of place among
so many distinguished and wealthy people.
"These people really know how to throw a party," he commented.
"No kidding," I agreed, amazed at how beautiful everything was. The gardens were
illuminated with soft white lights, and flowers were everywhere. The fragrance that filled
my senses had captivated me the moment I walked in. The typical party music hadn't
started yet, but I watched in awe as a band composed of violins and cellos welcomed
us to the venue.
"Here you are!" exclaimed a familiar voice behind us. We both turned around, and
Jenna greeted us with a huge smile. "Have you seen how many people there are?!
What do you think? Did I go overboard? Oh God, you don't like it!"
Jenna had been one of the people responsible for organizing the graduation party. I
knew she had spent most of the year planning it, and she had truly outdone herself. If
she thought we didn't like it, our faces, both Lion's and mine, must have been quite a
sight.
"What are you talking about?" I replied, laughing. "It's amazing!"
I gave her a hug, admiring how beautiful she looked. Of course, she owed it all to her
genes. Her mother, Caroline Tavish, had been Miss California in her youth, a title that
not only opened countless doors for her but also caught the attention of one of the
richest men in the United States, who wanted to marry her. Jenna's father was a
billionaire with oil platforms all over the world, and he barely spent more than two days
a month at home. But according to Jenna, he was head over heels in love with her
mother... and who wouldn't be? That woman took anyone's breath away. Jenna had
inherited her mother's body and height, although her face was warmer, more youthful,
and sweeter than her mother's, which commanded attention with its beauty.
"I can't believe we've graduated!" she confessed, jumping up and planting an
enthusiastic kiss on Lion's lips. He looked at her with adoration and placed a hand on
her waist, pulling her closer. They exchanged words that I didn't catch, and a moment
later, Jenna turned to me. She looked around with a furrowed brow.
"And where's your Nicholas?"
I rolled my eyes at her habit of calling him that. Nicholas wasn't mine, or was he? The
truth was, I had no idea at that moment.
"I don't know, and I don't care," I replied, although deep down, I did care.
Jenna furrowed her brow. I didn't quite understand why, but Jenna always defended
Nicholas whenever we had arguments or fights. Sure, she had known him all her life,
but she was my friend, and she should be on my side and defend me.
"Jenna, you've outdone yourself!" Lion interjected, changing the subject.
The night started off with a bang. Someone, or rather many people, had brought
alcohol to the event, and within an hour, almost everyone was drunk and stumbling on
the dance floor. The lights were flashing, and suddenly, I found myself surrounded by a
crowd. Siblings, cousins, and friends of the graduates had attended the party, and I felt
a bit overwhelmed as I found myself squeezed between a few guys who wouldn't stop
groping me while trying to dance close to my body. I pushed them away and made my
way out of the dance floor. I was sweating, and I headed to the side where a guy was
serving shots to those of legal drinking age. I had already had several drinks... I wasn't
drunk, but I was definitely buzzed.
"Do you want one?" a girl asked me when the bartender disappeared to get more ice.
There were several glasses on the table filled with a white, thick liquid and lots of ice
cubes.
"What is it?" I asked, feeling skeptical.
The girl smiled, seemingly amused for some reason.
"Black Russians."
If she had said "Red French," I would have been equally clueless. I had no idea what
that was.
"It's a cocktail with vodka, coffee liqueur, and cream. It's really good, and they say it's
aphrodisiac," she added, batting her eyelashes several times. Was she flirting with me?
As if I needed a girl hitting on me! But since she mentioned the word "coffee," I
disregarded her sexual orientation and picked up one of the cocktails from the table. I
brought the straw to my mouth and took a sip.
"God, it's delicious!" I exclaimed. The girl laughed.
The vodka was hardly noticeable; it didn't burn my throat. It was like drinking a rich
coffee milkshake.
I observed the girl more closely. She didn't look familiar to me; she was probably a
friend or relative of someone. She had her black hair tied up in a high ponytail.
I continued drinking what had just become my favorite cocktail. Jenna was dancing
with Lion on the dance floor, and without realizing it, I had downed two more glasses
and struck up a conversation with the milkshake girl, whose name turned out to be
Dana. She was very friendly, and either I was too buzzed or she was really funny. I was
so caught up laughing at her latest joke that I wasn't expecting her to suddenly grab
me by the back of my neck and plant a kiss on my lips. It happened so quickly and
unexpectedly that it took me a moment to push her away.
"What are you doing?" I asked, feeling a bit dizzy.
The girl laughed, amused.
"I wanted to taste the vodka from your lips," she replied nonchalantly.
The situation was so surreal that I remained silent for a moment.
"I have a boyfriend," I declared a few seconds or maybe minutes later. I don't know, I
think the alcohol had gone to my head. Did I just kiss a girl?
"It was just a peck, calm down," she replied, shifting her gaze to something behind me.
A shiver ran down my spine.
I felt his presence even before turning around to confirm if I was mistaken. Nicholas
was there, his clear eyes piercing through me from a distance. Immediately, he made
his way towards me.
"You better leave," I hurriedly advised Dana. Suddenly, I feared for her safety.
She burst into laughter, took her Black Russians, and walked away to the dance floor. I
lost sight of her just as Nick stood in front of me.
"So, you're into girls now?" he said calmly, keeping up appearances.
I didn't let him intimidate me.
"Who knows?" I retorted, irritated. I was furious with him. He had left me hanging on
my graduation night; he had seen me alone and surrounded by people I didn't want to
be with, and on top of that, I had been kissed without my consent.
"What are you drinking?" he then asked, taking the glass from my hands.
I thought he was going to leave the glass on the table, but instead, he drank it.
Suddenly, despite my anger, I felt a desperate longing to taste that drink from his lips,
just as the girl had said. I wanted to try the Black Russians from his mouth too...
"Do you know how much alcohol is in this?" he said after finishing what was left in the
glass and placing it behind me. I watched him, gauging the situation, unsure of his
mood... well, yes, he was angry, but there was something different in his gaze.
"I suppose quite a lot. If I had been sober, I would have already told you to go to hell."
He tilted his head to the side, observing me, and leaned his body closer to mine.
Without touching me, he placed both hands on the table behind me, trapping me
between his arms.
Suddenly, I couldn't breathe. His blue eyes sought mine.
"You have no reason to be angry, Noah," he said very seriously. "I'm the one who gets
hurt in all this; you're the one going on vacation in Europe."
"And I keep telling you it wasn't my idea," I said, staring back at him.
Nick took a deep breath and stepped back, giving me space.
"I guess they call this a stalemate," he declared with a poker face.
A part of me knew he had reasons to be upset, but my anger seemed to have taken
over the night. I didn't want to calm down; I didn't want to be understanding... Maybe it
was because I was also upset about the whole situation. Going with my mother to
Europe wasn't part of my plans, and it bothered and saddened me not to spend that
month with Nick. In reality, I was angry with my mother, but Nick was there, and I
needed to vent my frustration on someone.
"Maybe you shouldn't have come back. You said you didn't want to ruin my night, yet
here you are doing exactly that."
Nick raised his eyebrows dramatically.
"Do you want me to leave?"
Did I see a hint of disappointment in his blue eyes?
"What's clear is that I'm not going to stay here arguing with you."
Nick observed me carefully.
"I think you've had too much alcohol tonight, smarty."
I stood up straight on my heels and gave him a piercing look. Feeling powerful, but
knowing that I was actually acting like a child, I extended my arm, filled a glass with the
punch on the table, and downed it in one gulp. It was so strong that it almost brought
tears to my eyes, but I suppose it was worth it to see Nick's veins bulging to a worrying
point.
"You're acting like an idiot, and I'm the one who's going to have to deal with you
afterward."
I shrugged and walked away from him. I headed towards where my friends were
dancing on the dance floor and, without looking back, started dancing with great
enthusiasm. At some point, I dropped the glass and splashed someone's feet, but it
didn't seem to bother me much. Jenna joined me a while later, and we kept dancing.
When the jumps we were doing turned my stomach into a roller coaster, I forced myself
to stop. My eyes started scanning the room, looking for someone.
I knew Nick hadn't left; in fact, he had been watching me throughout my little show. It
hadn't been the reaction I expected, but at least we weren't arguing.
At one point, I dangerously swayed to the side, and an arm held me around the waist.
A strong, muscular, and beautiful arm... Nick's.
I turned around and intertwined my hands in his nape.
"I see you're still here," I commented, my eyes fixed on his lips.
"And I see that you can barely stand on your own two feet. If your goal tonight was to
mess with me, you've succeeded. Congratulations."
I laughed at the "mess with me" comment...
"That wasn't my intention, but when it comes to touching, I can touch you however you
want..."
Nick didn't laugh; in fact, he seemed to be considering what to do with me.
I ran my fingers through his hair, burying them in his nape, knowing how much he
enjoyed being touched there. However, he grabbed my wrists and forced me to stop.

"Let me take you upstairs, Noah," he pleaded, clenching his jaw tightly.
I looked around. Some people had already decided to go upstairs and continue the
party in the rooms.
"Alright... it could be fun," I agreed with a smile on my lips.
Nick let out the breath he had been holding and led me out of the room.
"It's going to be anything but fun," he muttered under his breath, but I heard it perfectly.
Had he been holding back because there were people around?
Oh, shit!

NICK

As we exited the party room, I led her directly to our bedroom since I had already
grabbed the keys earlier. When we entered, we stood there staring at each other. Face
to face, unsure of what to do or say. I didn't know if I should stay angry or kiss her
senseless. Noah seemed to be struggling with the same dilemma.
"So, it's not going to be fun, huh?" she asked, as her hands skillfully pulled down the
zipper of her dress, letting it fall to the floor.
She stood there in just her underwear and the killer heels she had put on. I couldn't
help but admire the bra and panties set she was wearing... I had never seen her in it
before, and it left me speechless.
She swayed slightly, and in two strides, I closed the distance between us. I held her by
the waist and lifted her into my arms, carrying her into the bathroom and placing her on
the sink.
"You're drunk, Noah," I stated.
She shrugged.
"Not drunk enough to not realize that you brought me here to punish me for going to
Europe."
I furrowed my brow.
"It's me who's suffering the punishment tonight, Freckles, not the other way around."
"Well, I know a lot of things we can do to not punish each other," she said with a
mischievous smile.
I smiled uncontrollably. There she was, half-naked, dazzling, with flushed cheeks from
the alcohol, the situation, or whatever it was, but I couldn't hold back any longer and
placed my hands around her face, pressing my lips against hers. It was a kiss without
tongues, a play of lips only, a game that I knew was what I needed in that moment to
keep my head from spinning.
When her hands began to unbutton my shirt, I pulled away.
"I think you should take a cold shower first," I suggested.
Noah shook her head.
"No, no, nothing cold. I'm fine," she said, pulling me towards her again.
We kissed again, this time with more intensity. My hands trailed up her bare back,
unhooking her bra. I was mesmerized by her, her freckles scattered across her breasts
and the upper part of her shoulders. I kissed my way there, reaching her earlobe. I took
it between my teeth and sucked on it like a piece of candy.
Noah shivered beneath my touch, and I pulled away to look into her eyes.
"I don't want you to leave," I confessed, lifting her in my arms and exiting the bathroom.
Her legs clung tightly to my hips, and I felt every muscle in my body tense.
Noah didn't reply; she simply kissed me again. I placed her on the bed and remained
poised to avoid crushing her. I kissed her jawline, making my way to the hollow where
her shoulder met her neck.
Noah shifted beneath me, seeking a friction that would soothe us both. I moved away
and positioned myself beside her. I gazed at her, captivated. Her breathing was rapid,
and her breasts rose and fell rhythmically.
"I could spend the night just looking at you," I declared, propping myself up with my
right arm. With my other hand, I gently caressed her side, trailing down her flat
stomach and up to cup her left breast with my fingers.
"Nick, get on top," she pleaded with closed eyes, squirming restlessly under the touch
of my hand.
"I want to see your body blush with each of my caresses, Noah."
Her honey-colored eyes suddenly opened, locking onto mine.
"But..."
I silenced her with a kiss while my hand descended, pausing at the waistband of her
underwear.
"I don't want you to go to Europe," I repeated solemnly as I slid my hand beneath the
fabric.
She squirmed and closed her eyes once again.
I began to play with my fingers, feeling my whole body tense just by witnessing the
expression on her face. There was nothing I enjoyed more than being in that moment,
seeing her body respond to my caresses, watching her bite her lip, and hearing the soft
sighs of pleasure escaping her lips.
I couldn't bear to be without her for a month. I loved seeing how much she was
enjoying herself. One time since she had returned from San Francisco was not enough
for either of us, and the thought of her leaving for a whole month made me want to
show her just how much she would miss me.
"Are you going to leave?" I whispered in her ear, increasing the pace of my
movements.
"Yes..." she replied, angering me once again.
"Are you sure?" I insisted through gritted teeth as the movements of my hand grew
stronger.
I knew that nothing would make her climax at this point, but I stopped at the peak.
Her eyes widened as if she didn't understand what had just happened. Her pupils
dilated with desire, and her mouth was half-open, anticipating a cry of pleasure that
never came.
I couldn't look at her. I closed my eyes and let myself fall onto my back. My whole body
ached; I was punishing myself too, but anger consumed me in a way I couldn't explain.
"Why did you stop?" she accused, not understanding.
How could I explain the lost feeling I had in that moment? How could I make her
understand that her departure would make me live in hell?
I said nothing, and Noah moved closer, resting her head on my shoulder. Her hand
caressed me over my shirt.
"I don't want this stupid trip to be a problem between you and me, Nick," she said in
almost a whisper.
I ran my hand over my face and finally looked at her without saying a word.
"If it's so important to you, I'll talk to my mother. Maybe we could..."
"No," I interrupted sharply. "Just give me time to adjust... As much as I want you with
me all the time, I know it's going to be impossible, but that doesn't mean I'm not
furious... really furious."
She bit her lip thoughtfully, and I saw in her eyes that she wasn't happy about it either.
She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"I love you, Nick. Do you love me?" she asked, awaiting my answer.
"I love you more than myself," I replied without looking away, while gently caressing her
bare back.
"That's difficult," she replied, smiling like a child.
"Very funny," I retorted, getting on top of her and trapping her in my arms.
I kissed her, moving my lips slowly against hers as her fingers tangled in my hair.
"Are you tired?" I asked, burying my mouth in her neck.
"Finish what you started earlier," she whispered.
I needed her, I had needed her since we had fought in the car. I wanted her to make
me feel like I was the only one, the only one she loved, the only one she desired.
"Do you want me to make love to you, freckles?" I asked with a smile.
She ended up removing my shirt with flushed cheeks and desire reflected in her
beautiful eyes. She placed her lips right at the center of my chest and trailed kisses up
to my neck. I tensed when her tongue caressed my jawline, and I held her hands
above her head when she bit my ear with exquisite pressure.
She tilted her head, seeking my mouth, and I granted her the pleasure of kissing me. I
gently slid my tongue inside her mouth while applying pressure with my hips.
"I love you, Nick," she declared, throwing her head back as my hand began to work its
magic on her body.
"I love you too," I replied.
And that's how we ended the night... doing the one thing that never caused us any
problems.

NOAH

The bright morning light eventually woke me up. We had left the thick curtains open,
allowing a privileged view of the elegant houses of Beverly Hills. In the distance, the tall
buildings of the city stood out in the center, surrounded by low-rise buildings.
Nicholas' arm held me tightly against his chest, our legs intertwined. I could barely
breathe, but I loved it, I loved sleeping with him—it was the best nights. For weeks, I
hadn't been able to sleep through the night without waking up or having nightmares.
I turned carefully to face him on my side. He looked adorable when he slept, his
features serene, his eyelids gently closed... He seemed so young when he was like
that, sleeping next to me. I wondered what was going on in his head. For example,
what could he be dreaming about right now? I raised my hand carefully and lightly
stroked his left eyebrow, without waking him. He was so deeply asleep that he didn't
even flinch. I slid my fingers along his cheekbone, down to his chin. How could he be
so handsome?
Then, a completely unexpected thought crossed my mind: What would our children be
like?
I know, I was losing my mind. It would still be years before I made a decision to start a
family, but the image of a little one with black hair came to mind. It was obvious that he
would be incredibly handsome, with Nick's genes any child would be. How would he
behave with a baby? It was clear that the only child he tolerated was his younger sister,
as I had scolded him more than once for being rude to children at the beach or in a
restaurant. But that was still a long way off, and there was also the small detail that
there was a high chance we wouldn't be able to have children because of the glass
incident that fateful night. Thinking about it made me sad, and I was grateful when Nick
opened one sleepy eye and looked at me.
I smiled.
"Hello, handsome," I greeted him with a smile on my face when I saw him furrow his
brow and stretch. That was my Nicholas. Nick without a furrowed brow wasn't Nick.
He reached out his arm and pulled me with considerable force considering he had just
woken up.
"What were you doing, freckles?" he said, burying his head in my neck and tickling me
with his breath.
"Admiring how incredibly beautiful you are."
He made a grumbling sound.
"For God's sake, don't call me beautiful, anything but that!" he pleaded, lifting his head.
I burst out laughing at his expression. His hair was messy, and his annoyed face
looked like that of a sulking child.
"Are you laughing at me?"
His dark gaze distracted me, but he pounced on me and started tickling me.
"No, no, no!" I screamed, laughing and squirming under his hands. "Nicholas!"
He laughed with me, but I quickly retaliated, poking his strong stomach with one of my
fingers, and he jumped so much that he fell off the bed.
"Oh my goodness!" I exclaimed, laughing hysterically. "God, my eyes were watering,
and my stomach hurt from laughing so much!"
Then he got up, pulled one of my feet, and slid me to the edge of the mattress. Before I
could fall, he lifted me in his arms, placed me over his shoulder like a sack, and
headed towards the bathroom.
"Now you'll see," he threatened as he turned on the shower.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I pleaded, still unable to stop laughing.
He didn't care and put me under the cold water of the shower. The shirt clung to my
body like a second skin.
—Ah, it's freezing! —I screamed, stepping away from the stream and starting to shiver.
"Nicholas!" I scolded him, but he joined me, adjusted the faucet, and warm water
began to pour over us.
"Silence. Now that you've had your fun at my expense, it's my turn," he announced,
grabbing the shirt clinging to my body and lifting it up to remove it. I stood naked before
him.
His eyes traced my curves.
"I think this is the best way to wake up in the morning," he declared, leaning in and
claiming my lips.
Thirty minutes later, I was wrapped in a towel, my hair dripping, sitting on the terrace.
Nicholas was ordering breakfast to be brought to us. It was really strange that there
was no one shouting in the hallways. I had assumed it would be impossible to sleep
surrounded by drunken students, but I was mistaken, or perhaps the walls of that hotel
were perfectly soundproofed.
I turned around when Nick finished speaking. He had damp hair like me, no shirt, and
was wearing sport pants that clung to his hips, revealing the dark hair that trailed from
his navel downwards. God, that body was spectacular! He had every damn abdominal
muscle defined and perfectly sculpted obliques. How the hell did he do it? I knew he
went to the gym and surfed, but damn, that body was a masterpiece from another
world.
"Are you checking me out?" he asked with amusement, sitting at the table next to me.
I felt myself blush.
"Any problem?" I replied, ignoring how the sunlight reflected in his blue eyes at that
precise moment.
He gave me his favorite crooked smile.
—I want some too, come here," he requested, pulling me towards him and forcing me
to sit on his lap. I was naked under the towel, and as I opened my legs to sit on him, it
rode up my thighs.
"You're not wearing anything underneath?" he asked, his tone shifting from surprise to
reproach in less than a second. I rolled my eyes.
"There's no one here, Nicholas," I replied, exasperated.
He looked around: we were alone, and the only thing in front of us were the
spectacular views of the city.
"There could be a pervert with binoculars watching right now, from those buildings over
there," he said, clutching the towel I was wrapped in. Nothing was visible; he was being
overly dramatic.
"You're missing out. I'm going to get dressed," I announced, getting up and entering the
room.
I stared at myself in the mirror. How could a person go from being so sad to the one
looking back at me right now? I suppose that's what love was, a rollercoaster of
emotions and conflicting feelings. At one moment, you're at the highest point, and the
next, you're crawling on the floor, not even knowing how you got there.
I leaned over the suitcase we had brought. I don't know why seeing my clothes next to
his made me smile like a fool, but I loved seeing my dress next to his Marc Jacobs
shirt.
I picked it up and put it on. It was a simple navy blue dress with yellow flowers that my
mother had bought for me, and it probably cost a fortune.
As I started to apply makeup in front of the mirror, my gaze fixated with surprise on a
specific part of my body... I groaned when I pulled back my hair and saw my neck: I
had two hickeys.
I stormed out of the bathroom in a fury.
"Nicholas!" I yelled. He was on the phone. Finally, breakfast had been brought, and he
was sitting on the terrace eating, chatting away as if nothing was wrong.
His gaze shifted towards me.
"Wait," he signaled to whoever was on the other end of the line.
I pointed to my neck and part of my collarbone. A smirk of pure mischief appeared on
his face. I turned angrily and threw a pillow at him.
He raised his arm to shield himself while cursing.
"I'll call you back later," he said, hanging up the phone. "What the hell is wrong with
you?"
I hated being marked, I hated it with all my might when someone left marks on my skin.
Bad memories, that's all.
"You know I hate hickeys, Nicholas Leister," I asserted, trying to control my voice.
He approached cautiously, reached out his arm, and brushed my hair aside to examine
my skin.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize," he simply responded.
I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, sure," I replied, pushing his hand away just as he began to caress my skin. "I
told you, Nicholas, I don't like marks, I'm not a cow."
He laughed, and I was tempted to punch him.
"Come on, freckles, we had enough fighting yesterday, let's make peace," he
suggested, pulling me towards him and giving me a hug.
I stood still like a statue, but then his hand went to the nape of my neck, pulling my hair
back and forcing me to look at him.
"If you forgive me, I'll do whatever you want," he said.
"What?" I replied incredulously.
His gaze darkened.
"Whatever you want, I'm serious. Just name it, and I'm yours," he said.
I knew what that perverted mind of his was thinking. I smiled, enjoying the situation and
feeling powerful.
"Alright," I agreed, raising my hands to his neck. "There's something I want you to do."

10

NICK

"Not a chance," I said firmly.

We were parking in front of an animal shelter.
"You said anything," my crazy girlfriend replied, getting out of the car, as excited as if
she were five years old.
"I was referring to sex."
Noah laughed, as if my proposition were the most unusual thing.
"I know," she said. "But since this is about me and not you, you're going to buy me a
kitten."
Damn it, not the damn cat again! I hated cats. They were dumb, you couldn't teach
them anything, and on top of that, they were clingy, always all over you. I preferred
dogs. Shit, I preferred my own dog! The dog I had to leave at my dad's house because
my apartment building didn't allow large animals.
"I've told you a thousand times that I'm not going to have a damn cat in my apartment."
Noah glared at me with fury in her eyes, flipped her hair back, and before she could
start her incessant rambling, I grabbed her, trapping her against my chest, and covered
her mouth with my hand.
"I'm not buying a cat. Period."
Her tongue started licking my hand to make me let go, so I gave her a squeeze in the
side, reminded of myself that morning. We both had hellish tickles.
I let go of her before she lost her temper.
"Nicholas!" she exclaimed, breathless and with flushed cheeks.
I raised my eyebrows, waiting for what she had to say. She looked so adorable in that
dress... I would have torn it off right there, but I restrained myself.
"You've slobbered all over me," I accused, wiping my hand on my pants.
She ignored my comment and glared at me with her cat-like eyes.
"Fine, if you don't want to buy me a cat, I'll buy one myself," she retorted, and then
spun on her heels and entered what was undoubtedly a man's hell.
Exasperated, I followed her, and immediately the smell of animals and feces assaulted
my senses. I heard the sounds of animals, hamsters scurrying and cats meowing, and I
had to restrain myself from dragging Noah out of that place.
Completely ignoring me, she approached the shop assistant behind the counter. He
was young, probably her age, and as soon as he saw her, his eyes lit up.
"How can I help you?" he asked.
Noah glanced at me for a second, realizing I had no intention of doing anything, and
then turned indifferently to the shop assistant.
"I want to adopt a cat," she said determinedly.
I approached her as the shop assistant stepped out from behind the counter with a
wide smile, ready to sell her the world, clearly.
"This way," he said, gesturing towards a hallway. "Just yesterday we rescued a few
kittens from a parking lot. They were abandoned and are not more than three weeks
old."
An infinite and pitying "oh!" escaped Noah's lips. I rolled my eyes as the guy led us
towards a section with many cages filled with cats of all sizes and colors. Some were
sleeping, while others were playing or simply meowing and being a nuisance.
"They're over here," the guy announced, pointing to a cage at the end. Noah went
straight to it as if she had found a magical treasure.
"They're so tiny," she commented with that strange voice that girls use when they talk
to puppies or babies.

I approached and looked at the four scruffy cats sitting on a blanket. Three of them
were gray with white spots on their paws or heads, and the fourth one was completely
black. They immediately gave me an uneasy feeling.
"Look how they play," the shop assistant said, putting on a girly voice. I glared at him
and moved closer to Noah.
"Can I hold one?" Noah asked, using all her feminine charms. I wanted to drag her out
of there immediately.
"Of course, whichever one you want."
And which one did Noah choose?
The black one, of course.
"He's the calmest of them all. I haven't seen him play since we brought him in."
The other three were restless, jumping on top of each other and batting at each other's
faces. It was clear that they had intensely harassed the poor black one.
Noah held the kitten to her chest and began to stroke it like a mother with her baby. As
soon as the damn cat started purring, I knew I didn't stand a chance.
I sighed deeply.
"Oh, look, Nick," she said, looking at me with tender eyes.
The cat was ugly as hell, black with its fur sticking up, but I knew Noah wasn't going to
choose the cutest or most playful kitten. She was going to choose the underdog, the
one that had been left behind, the one nobody wanted... It reminded me of myself.
"Damn it, fine, you can keep the damn cat," I relented.
A huge smile spread across her face.
The shop assistant led us to the counter, and I had to sign a bunch of papers
committing to taking care of the cat and being responsible for its vaccinations and other
nonsense. Noah started browsing the store and when she returned, she was loaded
with cutesy things for the unnamed animal.
"Are you going to buy all that?" I teased her. I didn't care about the money; I just
wanted to ruin her excitement.
"You said I could have whatever I wanted," she reminded me, placing a collar, food
bowls, and a plush blue bed on the counter.
The devilish cat was placed in a small cage that they gave us to take him home.
—I hope he adapts well to you and that you enjoy him," the shop assistant wished us,
looking only at Noah. "Don't forget to take him to the vet in a few weeks when he's old
enough to be neutered and vaccinated."
I felt more and more sorry for the animal.
Ten minutes later, we were on our way to my apartment. Finally, I would be able to be
alone with her and propose what I had been thinking about for months.
I turned to look at her, and an involuntary smile appeared on my face. She looked like
my little sister with a new doll.
"What are you going to name him?" I asked as I exited the highway and headed
towards the building where my apartment was located.
"Um... I don't know yet," she replied, gently stroking Nameless.
"Please don't name him Nala or Simba or any of that sappy stuff," I pleaded as I parked
in my spot. Then, I got out of the car and went to open the door for her.
Noah didn't even look at me, completely infatuated as she was. I glared at the little
creature that had stolen my thunder.
"I think I'm going to call him N," she announced as we entered the elevator.
"N?" I repeated incredulously. God, she had lost her mind!
Noah looked at me, feeling offended.
"N, for you and me, Nick and Noah," she clarified.
I burst out laughing.
"I think today's coffee has gone to your head."
She deliberately ignored me as we entered my apartment.
Finally, home. It was the only place where I felt at ease, and I loved having Noah all to
myself.
"You're going to have to take care of him when I'm not around," she commented,
releasing the cat in the middle of the living room and observing as he explored the
room.
"Not a chance. Your cat, your responsibility," I asserted, placing all the supplies on the
floor.
She looked at me with a quizzical expression, and I pulled her closer to me before we
started arguing again.
"Only you can make me give in on these kinds of things," I admitted, leaning in to kiss
her neck. Noah shifted to give me better access. Her skin was soft and smelled so
good... I saw the marks I had left on her... I liked it, I loved seeing the marks of my
kisses on her skin, but I would never admit it out loud because that would bring me a
lot of trouble.
"What if I told you that I love the idea of sharing an animal with you?" she blurted out,
and I leaned back to look her in the eyes. She shrugged as if feeling guilty. "It's going
to be ours. Our kitten, both of us, we're his parents."
I took a deep breath when I heard her say that. I knew that behind that statement hid
something much deeper, something I knew haunted her always, something that made
my blood boil.
I gave her a tender kiss on the lips.
"Alright, I'll take care of N," I admitted, teasing her and downplaying the matter.
She swatted my arm.
"His name is N!"
I laughed and lifted her up, seating her on the kitchen countertop.
"There's something I wanted to talk to you about," I suddenly said, feeling nervous.
Noah looked at me with curiosity.
Damn, I had no idea how she would react.
"I want you to come live with me when you start college."

11

NOAH

—Are you serious?

Move in with him? The way he looked at me was clear enough to know that I should
approach this calmly because he meant it, there was no doubt.
He stood in front of me and held my face in his hands.
—Please, tell me yes.
It was all too much, I couldn't put myself in that situation. I stepped down from the
countertop and started pacing the room.
—Nicholas, I'm eighteen years old —I turned to face him. He stood there, furrowing his
brow, looking at me—, eighteen —I repeated, in case it wasn't clear. I felt the nerves
growing inside me because the feeling that we weren't on the same page, that he
needed more than I could give him, scared me more than anything.
—You're more mature than any girl my age, you don't even seem like you're eighteen,
Noah, don't give me that, it's ridiculous. If you lived here, we would see each other
every night, every day —he replied, leaning against the countertop and crossing his
arms—. You don't want to live with me. Is that it? —he blurted out a second later.
Ugh... How could I explain that it had nothing to do with wanting or not wanting? How
could I tell him that I was afraid to take that step at such a young age? Or that what
really held me back was the fear that if we lived together, he would eventually discover
how messed up I still was from everything that had happened to me in the past, and he
would get tired of me or worse, leave me?
—Of course, I want to —I asserted, cautiously approaching where he stood. He looked
down at me without moving a muscle—. My fear is that we'll ruin what we have now by
rushing into things.
Nicholas shook his head.
"That's nonsense, Noah. You and I can't go fast because we're already almost at the
speed of light. With you, things are like that, with me they're like that. You know me,
you know perfectly well that I would have never taken this step with anyone else but
you, and if I do it, it's because I know it's the right thing to do. It's what's meant for us
because I can't be away from you... and you can't be away from me either."
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves... living with Nicholas... it would be like a
dream, truly. Seeing him every day, feeling safe all the time, loving him all the time.
"I'm afraid of not being what you expect me to be," I admitted, my voice trembling.
His stillness disappeared, and he reached out to caress my cheek. His eyes traveled
across my features, studying them as if he admired each and every one of my traits.
"I want to see this face when I wake up," he confessed, sliding his finger over my lower
lip. "I want to kiss your lips before I fall asleep," he continued in a husky voice, "to feel
your touch every time I go to bed. To dream of you in my arms. To watch you while you
sleep and take care of you every minute of the day."
I lifted my eyes and saw in his that every word came straight from his heart. He meant
it, he loved me, he wanted me with him. I felt my heart race, something inside me
swelled with happiness, melted. How could I love him so much? How did he manage to
have so much of me without making it feel difficult to give?
"I will. I'll live with you," I assured him, still not fully believing it.
A radiant smile spread across his face.
"Say it again," he requested, stepping away from the countertop and holding my face in
his hands.
"I'll live with you. We'll live together."
No more nightmares, no more fears; with him by my side, I would gradually recover, I
would overcome anything. He pulled my face towards him and placed his lips on mine.
I felt his smile beneath them. He was happy, that was true, I could see it, and I loved it.
"Oh God, how I love you!" he exclaimed, squeezing me tightly against his body. I
embraced him and laughed as I saw N watching us from the end of the hallway, small,
black, and with his bright eyes. We would live together, Nick, N, and me.
Unfortunately, the following days passed quickly. My mother still had no idea that I
would be moving in with Nick as soon as we returned from our trip, and I didn't plan on
telling her until it was strictly necessary. He had been in a very good mood, but it had
gradually diminished as the time for me to leave for a whole month approached. He
took the idea of me living with him very seriously. He had emptied half of his closet and
a dresser to make space for me to store my clothes, which I had been sneaking in
whenever I visited him. The apartment, which had been too masculine for my taste,
had become a more cheerful place. We had gone together to buy colorful cushions,
and I had insisted on changing the dark sheets in his room to white ones that were
much cozier. Nick was delighted, of course, as if I painted the apartment pink; as long
as I was there with him, he didn't care. I had brought some of my favorite books, and
my mother didn't seem to have noticed anything.
The heat had already taken hold of the city, leaving behind the days when sweaters or
long pants were necessary. Nick had taken me to the beach almost every day. We had
gone swimming in the sea together, and he had unsuccessfully tried to teach me how
to surf. However, the day finally came when my mother and I started our trip, and we
wouldn't return until mid-August.
Oh God, I was looking forward to it, but I didn't know how I could be separated from
Nick for so long!

We were in my room, with an open suitcase on my bed, and Nicholas was sitting on my
desk chair, playing with N and deliberately ignoring me. He had been sulking for two
days, not wanting to hear about the trip or anything related to it, but I was leaving in a
couple of hours, so he would have to start getting used to the idea. He had taken
things out of the suitcase and put them back without me noticing about five times
already. He had even hidden my passport, which I found three days later among his
work stuff. He had threatened to tie me to the bed or let N starve if I didn't stay. He had
ignored each of his attempts to sabotage the trip in the best way possible because I
knew it affected him as much, if not more, than it did me.
"I'm just warning you that the heat in Spain is infernal, and besides, you don't like
seafood, so you're lost. The Eiffel Tower, on the other hand, is overrated... When you
go up there, you wonder, 'Is that it?' Oh, and don't expect anything out of this world
from England. The weather is horrible, and the people are serious and boring..."
"Are you going to keep up with this unbearable attitude?" I interrupted, losing my
patience. I approached him and took N out of his hands, who I had bought a stupid toy
that was driving him crazy. Nick already had about ten scratches on his arm.
Before I turned my back on him, he grabbed me and forced me to sit on his lap, with N
between us.
He looked at me seriously, as if deliberating whether or not to say what was really on
his mind.
"Don't go," he blurted out. I rolled my eyes. Not again.
"Come on, N, attack him," I asked the cat, picking him up and holding him in front of
Nick's face. Nick frowned. "Well, better behave, little kitty. We don't want this crazy guy
throwing you down the laundry chute." I leaned in and kissed the dark, furry little head.
Nicholas observed me, tense.
"Now you're ignoring me?"
"When I've answered the same question ten thousand times, yes," I replied, fixing my
eyes on him. God, how I would miss that gaze, those hands, that body, him, all of him...
"I don't like repeating myself."
He raised an eyebrow, clearly annoyed by my words.
"Enough with the damn cat and look at me," he requested, taking N out of my hands
and placing him on the floor. I looked at him, ready for a fight.
"I don't want you to do anything stupid or dangerous," he warned, gripping me tightly by
the hips as if he could force me to stay with him that way. "Don't drink, don't talk to
strangers."
"Are you even listening to yourself?" I freed myself from his hands and stepped away.
Why did he have to be so jealous and controlling? I couldn't stand it. Didn't he trust me,
damn it?
I started packing things into the suitcase without even looking at him, and once it was
full, I pulled the zipper... Damn it, it wouldn't close!
He pushed my hand aside and forcefully closed it for me.
I heard him sigh beside me.
"I'm going to miss you."
I looked at him and saw that he looked defeated.
"What am I going to do without you?" he asked, sounding lost.
I took a deep breath to calm myself. I took his face in my hands, standing on tiptoes to
look into his eyes.
"Before you know it, I'll be back, and you'll have me all to yourself; I'll move in with you
when I return," I promised, hoping it would lift his spirits.
His hands caressed my arms, carefully from top to bottom. How could he change his
attitude so quickly?
"I love you, freckles. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, and it makes me sick
not being able to take care of you while you're away."
Warmth spread inside me. I was going to miss him, so much.
I gave him a tender kiss on the lips.
"I love you too, and I'll be perfectly fine..."
I could see in his eyes that my words weren't enough, and then I understood that this
trip would be a crucial test for our relationship. I didn't know how we would react to
being apart for such a long time.

12

NICK

I took them to the airport. My father said goodbye at home as he had to go to work. I
wasn't thrilled about spending my last hour with Noah and her mother in the back seat
of the car, but once again, I had to swallow what I thought. I wasn't happy about this
trip, I had made that clear, but there was nothing I could do.
I glanced at Noah, who was quiet and thoughtful in her seat. She had insisted on
bringing the damn cat with her and absentmindedly stroked it while looking out the
window. I reached out and held her hand, guiding it to the gearshift. There was a void
in my chest, and I hated feeling like this. Damn it, it was just a month, it shouldn't be
such a big deal! Since when had I become so damn dependent?
This couldn't be right. I couldn't go crazy over not seeing her for a month; I needed to
handle it with more composure. This separation would be a test to see how we would
cope with being apart. I glanced at her and she smiled at me, but I saw sadness in her
eyes.
Her mother had a huge smile on her face; she was thrilled. Why wasn't it a problem for
her to be separated from her husband for a month? I didn't understand, and
unconsciously, I tightened my grip on Noah's hand.
When we arrived at LAX airport, I parked in the parking lot and unloaded the suitcases
while Raffaella got a cart. Noah hurried over to me and kissed me on the lips.
"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to sound playful, although I wasn't.
"Kissing you before my mother comes back," she replied. Was she not planning to kiss
me when we were inside with her mother?
I kept my opinions to myself, knowing that I would kiss her as many times as I wanted,
wherever I wanted.
Thirty minutes later, we had checked in our luggage, and Raffaella insisted on going to
the boarding gate. There was still an hour before the plane would depart, but that
woman was exasperating.
"Mom, you go ahead, I need a moment alone with Nicholas before I leave," she said.
Her mother, in response, furrowed her brow.
She looked at me, then at Noah, and finally at the cat. The way she looked at it, angry,
triggered my protective instincts.
It's our cat.
Finally, she said goodbye to me and left, leaving us alone.
I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to me. I kissed the top of
her head as we walked at a snail's pace toward the security checkpoint.
"I shouldn't feel so sad, Nick," she confessed.
I lowered my gaze and looked at her intently. Damn it, she was right! We shouldn't be
so down; it was just a month... there were couples who didn't see each other for a
whole year. I didn't want Noah to leave feeling sad; I didn't want to see her suffer,
especially for something that was supposed to make her happy. I reproached myself
for insisting so much for her to stay. If I had supported this trip from the beginning,
maybe she wouldn't be so overwhelmed now, and she wouldn't have that sadness in
her eyes.
"Don't be, freckles," I said, embracing her against my chest. N meowed irritably being
squished between us. "The weather in Spain is great, and the Eiffel Tower is beautiful,
you're going to love it," I assured her, and a smile appeared on her face. "We'll see
each other when you come back; I'll be waiting for you with this little rascal," I added,
pointing to N.
"Please take care of him, Nicholas. Don't you dare forget to feed him, and don't give
him any more wine to drink, for God's sake," she pleaded, genuinely concerned.
"It was only once, and the cat loved it," I replied, teasing her.
She rolled her eyes and hugged the kitten to her chest.
"Here, take him," she said, handing him to me. I held him with one hand and used the
other to cup Noah's face, pulling her lips to mine.
"I love you," I declared after savoring her lips one last time for a month.
A smile appeared on her face.
"I love you more."
I watched her walk away, and a knot formed in my stomach. Her long hair pulled up in
a high ponytail, her legs encased in shorts... She was going to drive the guys she
crossed paths with crazy. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Now, it was just N
and me.
As soon as I entered the house, a wave of sadness washed over me. I let the cat roam
freely to do as he pleased and looked around the apartment with nostalgia. I had no
idea what I would do for those four weeks without her. I was aware that my life had
changed in unimaginable ways. I couldn't even remember what it was like to be single
and without someone by my side. It was as if I were seeing through a blurry glass, as if
there was a before and after Noah Morgan.
The apartment was impeccable. Noah wasn't a neat freak, but the day before she left,
she became a bit hysterical and cleared away anything that wasn't in its place,
something she only did when she was truly stressed. I had witnessed it over the past
few months.
I grew nervous knowing that she was thousands of kilometers away, crossing the
country at this very moment, headed towards New York, as they had a layover there
before departing for Italy. I had never been afraid of planes; I had taken more flights
than I could remember throughout my life. But now that Noah was up there... I was
surprised to find the countless terrifying images and thoughts that my brain harbored.
The plane having a malfunction, crashing into the water, a terrorist attack... the
possibilities were endless, and I couldn't do anything to calm the fear that gripped the
center of my chest.
Five hours later, the sound of my phone woke me from the restless sleep I had
unknowingly fallen into. I woke up disoriented.
"Nick?" her voice came from the other end of the line.
"Have you arrived?" I asked, trying to focus.
"Yes, we're at the airport. This place is huge. It's a shame we can't stop and visit the
city; it must be incredible." Noah sounded happy, and that cheered me up a bit,
although I already missed her.
"I claim New York," I said. Noah burst into laughter.
"What?" she asked, and I could hear the commotion around her. I imagined it, men in
suits with briefcases arriving in the city that never sleeps, mothers with crying and
restless children, that woman's voice speaking through the loudspeakers, addressing
the stragglers about to miss a flight...
"I want to be the one to show you New York, that's what I meant," I hurried to clarify. I
got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen sink.
"Promise me we'll come together, Nick, in winter, with the snow," she exclaimed
excitedly on the other end of the line.
I smiled like an idiot, imagining myself with Noah in New York, together, roaming the
streets, stopping at cafes... We would have hot chocolate, and I would take her to the
Empire State Building, and once we were up there, I would kiss her until we were both
breathless.
"I promise, love," I whispered.
I heard someone calling Noah from a distance: her mother, obviously.
"Nick, I have to go," she blurted out hurriedly. "I'll call you when we're in Italy. I love
you!"
Before I could respond, she had already hung up.
Noah arrived safely in Italy, and I only received a brief call because, according to her, it
would cost her a fortune if we kept talking. I wanted to tell her not to worry about the
phone bill, but she insisted that we would talk on Skype when she was connected to
the hotel's Wi-Fi. The problem was the huge time difference, so when I was sleeping,
she was out and about, and vice versa.
Doing during the day. I was exhausted when she called me, so we barely spoke for
more than five minutes. I hated that, hated being so far away from her, not being able
to touch her, not being able to chat for hours, but I had promised myself not to ruin her
trip. So, when we talked, I put on my best face, even though inside I was cursing the
day I let her go.
I spent most of my time going to the gym and surfing, and on weekends, I visited my
sister Madison. On Saturday, after Noah left, I got in the car and headed straight to Las
Vegas. Lion wanted to come with me, and since we hadn't seen each other all week, I
was glad he came. Maddie already knew my best friend, and they got along well.
"I don't know how you're going to manage being without Noah for another three
weeks," Lion commented as we drove on the highway. We wouldn't arrive in Las Vegas
until evening, so we would see my sister the next day. We had booked a room at the
Caesars hotel because, even though we had come to see my six-year-old sister, we
weren't going to leave without stopping by the casino and having a few drinks... After
all, we were in Las Vegas.
I gave him a glare when he reminded me of the torturous weeks ahead.
"What do you want me to say?" he said, raising his hands. "It's only been two days
since Jenna went on that stupid cruise with her parents, and I'm already climbing the
walls, and she's coming back in five days."
It was the first time Jenna had gone on vacation without Lion here. The previous year,
they had come with us to the Bahamas, and she had only been away for a weekend
with her parents at their Hamptons house. That year, it seemed like all the parents had
conspired to screw us over, taking our girlfriends away from us.
"I can't wait for Noah to come live with me. When she does, all this nonsense will end,
and her mother will take our relationship more seriously," I said, gripping the steering
wheel tightly. It was three in the afternoon in Los Angeles, so Noah must be sleeping.
How I wish I could be in bed with her right now!
Lion remained silent, which was unusual for him, and I observed him curiously out of
the corner of my eye.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked, noticing that his mood had worsened even further.
Right now, neither of us was very good company.
He continued staring out the window.
"I wish I could have a place to take Jenna to live, you know, a place that's up to par, not
the shitty apartment I live in," he blurted out.
I was surprised to hear him say that. In the over five years I had known him, he had
never complained about money, not once. We both came from completely different
worlds: I had a trust fund in my name and was earning a good salary at the law firm. I
had never really had to worry about these matters; I hadn't been raised that way. I had
simply grown up having everything. But I did become aware of how hard it was to attain
when you didn't have a millionaire father covering your back during the year I lived with
Lion. I realized that not everything fell from the sky, that people could truly struggle to
have enough money to eat. Lion worked long hours at the workshop his grandfather
had left him. He couldn't rely on his older brother, who would soon be released from
prison, where he had already been twice, so Lion had to take care of all the bills for his
house and the workshop.
I participated in car races, fights, and everything else because, aside from enjoying it, I
could help Lion that way. We were brothers, even though we came from different
places, and sometimes, like now, the monumental difference between the two of us
was clearly evident.
"You know Jenna doesn't care where you live, Lion," I pointed out, feeling bad. Lion
shouldn't be going through that; he shouldn't think that way. There was no one more
deserving of a peaceful and problem-free life than him. Besides, Jenna would never be
a burden to him; just like me, she probably had an account in her name waiting for her
to turn twenty-one so she could live comfortably. For heaven's sake, her father was an
oil magnate...!
"I do care. Do you think I'm not aware of what she's like or what she's used to?" he
reproached me, raising his voice. "I won't be able to give her even half of what she
needs."
"Not everything in life is about money," I said.
Lion burst into laughter.
"Coming from the rich kid."
Okay, he was going too far, and on any other occasion, I would have told him to fuck
off, but I knew that behind that conversation, there was something sincere and
profound, something that was truly affecting him.
I didn't reply, and he stopped talking. We continued the journey in silence, listening to
music, and we didn't even stop for lunch.
Upon arrival, our moods had already changed. It was impossible not to be affected by
the atmosphere of Las Vegas—the people, the places, the lights, the hotel. The
Caesars was impressive; it was practically a city, with top clothing brand stores
included. The girls went crazy. It wasn't like being in Italy, but the place was well done,
that had to be admitted. Our room was located in the western part of the enormous
hotel, and we had to walk a good distance to reach it.
"What do you want to do?" Lion asked, stepping out onto the terrace and lighting a
cigarette.
"Let's have some drinks," I replied. I didn't want to tell him, but whenever I went to see
Madison, my mood dropped a little. I simply hated knowing that my mother was so
close to me, I couldn't bear it.
We went downstairs and headed to one of the many bars the hotel had, one that was
next to the casino. Lion was very good with cards, and I was sure he would want to
play a few rounds before we went back to the room. It was already quite late, and I was
tired from driving all the way there, but I enjoyed the aged rum drinks more than I
should have, slowly soothing my anxiety and bad mood.
"Do you feel like playing?" he asked me half an hour later when we were both in higher
spirits.
"You go ahead, I prefer to stay here," I replied as I took out my phone and checked if I
had any messages from Noah.
Shortly before, I had jokingly, half-seriously sent her a message asking if she needed
me to send something so she would remember me. It had been almost two days since
we last spoke, and if I wasn't mistaken, she should have arrived in London recently.
She had responded.
"Keeping something to remind me of you would be admitting that I can forget you."
I rolled my eyes.
"Now you need to quote Shakespeare to talk to me? Can't you come up with
something original?"
A second later, she came online, and I felt a warmth inside me that I only felt when it
came to her.
"I've only been here for two hours, and I'm already immersing myself in all the literary
culture of this country. And if you don't like my romantic messages, I'll stop sending
them to you, idiot."
That message was followed by a bunch of angry emojis. It brought a smile to my face.
"When you come back from that stupid trip, I'll give you something other than romantic
messages. We won't need any dead writers. You and I are poetry, my love."
I had no idea how I was going to get through the next two and a half weeks.
The next morning, I woke up early and stepped into the shower, trying to put on a good
face to go pick up my sister. After picking her up, we would meet Lion here and decide
what to do.
I drove out of the tourist area of that crazy city until I reached the park next to the
upscale neighborhood where my sister lived. I got out of the car and put on my
sunglasses, regretting having had one too many drinks the previous night. My already
fragile mood in recent days was not up for nonsense, let alone unpleasant surprises.
That's why when my eyes fixated on the woman holding my sister's hand, walking
towards me, I had to take several deep breaths and remind myself that I had a
six-year-old girl in front of me, to keep myself from getting back in the car and driving
away without looking back.
The tall, blonde woman approaching me was the last person I wanted to have in front
of me.
"Nick!" my sister shouted, letting go of my mother's hand and running towards me. I
ignored the twinge of pain in my temples caused by that high-pitched tone that only
Madison seemed to reach, and I lifted her off the ground as soon as she reached my
side.
"Hello, princess!" I greeted her with a hug, ignoring my mother, who had stopped next
to us.
"Hello, Nicholas," she said shyly but standing tall, as she always did. She hadn't
changed much since the last time I saw her, about eight months ago when she and her
stupid husband neglected my sister, leading to her ending up in the hospital with
diabetic ketoacidosis.
"What are you doing here?" I snapped at her, setting Maddie down and placing her by
my side. My sister stood between us, holding my hand with one of hers and stretching
out the other arm to hold my mother's.
"We're finally all together!" she exclaimed with excitement. I don't know how many
times she begged me to come see her at her house, how many times she insisted that
I play with her in her room or attend her birthday parties. All her requests had one sole
purpose: to have my mother and me in the same room.
"I wanted to talk to you," she replied, tense but trying not to show it. She was
impeccably dressed, with her short blonde hair pulled back and a ridiculous headband
on her head. She looked just like the women who lived in my neighborhood, just like all
the women I hated and despised for being so shallow. Although her appearance never
stopped her from being treated like a queen bee by all the men she had met: they all
idolized her and wanted to sleep with her.
"Nothing you have to say interests me," I replied, trying to keep my tone of voice from
revealing how much seeing her affected me, how much I hated having her in front of
me.
Memories of my childhood began to surface in my mind: my mother tucking me in at
bedtime, my mother defending me from my father, my mother waiting for me with
pancakes on Sundays... but those memories were followed by others... Others that I
didn't want to relive.
"Please, Nick..."
"Nick!" Madison interrupted her. "Mom wants to come with us, she told me."
My eyes turned back to that woman. I guess the look I gave her made her step back
because she hurriedly said, "Madison, it's better if you two go alone. I have to go to the
hair salon, sweetheart. See you tonight," she said, leaning down to kiss Madison on
the crown of her head. It felt strange to see how she treated her. I suppose a part of me
expected her to be cold or indifferent, anything but the sweetness I witnessed. My
mother could be sweet, yes, and a bitch too.
Maddie didn't say anything; she just stood there, observing us from her height. I
wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I had to muster all my self-control when
my mother took a step forward and quickly kissed my cheek. What the hell was this?
What the hell was she trying to do?
"Take care, Nicholas," she said before turning around and walking away in the direction
she came from.
I didn't give her a second more of my attention. I turned to my little sister and forced a
smile as best I could.
"What Chinese torture are you going to subject me to today, little one?" I asked, lifting
her off the ground and slinging her over my shoulder. She started laughing, and I knew
that the momentary sadness in her eyes had already disappeared. She would never be
sad with me. I had promised myself that years ago, from the very moment I met her.
Lion was waiting for us at the hotel entrance, and I could tell from his face that he had
the same hangover as me. I couldn't help but laugh when Maddie ran over to hug him,
screaming in her infernal little voice.
Lion lifted her up and hung her upside down by one foot. I laughed as my sister
screamed as if she were possessed. Only a madman would leave a little monster like
my sister with two crazy guys like Lion and me.
"Where are we going, miss?" my friend asked that creature with big blue eyes and
golden blonde hair.
Maddie looked at me excitedly, scanning her surroundings without making up her mind.
The possibilities were endless; we were in the capital of fun.
"Can we go see the sharks?" she exclaimed, jumping up and down.
I rolled my eyes.
"Again?" We had already been to the aquarium a thousand times, but unlike any other
child her age, my sister loved standing in front of a window with killer sharks and
provoking them from behind the glass.
After lunch, we went to the aquarium. My sister was happy, running around in every
direction. While Lion kept an eye on her and they goofed off in front of a terrifyingly
huge great white shark, I took out my phone to see if my girlfriend had sent me any
messages, but there was nothing.
I decided to use my most adorable card to win her over.
"Hey, kiddo, come here!"
Maddie glared at me with her blue eyes.
"I'm not a kid," she grumbled.
"Whatever you say," I told myself.
"Let's send a picture to Noah, come on."
Her eyes lit up when I mentioned her. I suppose that was the expression I had on my
face every time I talked about her or was with her.
I prepared my phone for a selfie and picked up the little one to take the picture.
I stuck out my tongue, just as the clever little girl instructed, and she stuck out her tiny
tongue as well. I laughed, but I followed her lead, and that's how we took the selfie.
“I miss you, freckles, and the little monster I have with me misses you too. I love you”

13

NOAH

When I woke up that morning, the first thing I did was turn on my phone. The previous
night, I had fallen asleep before being able to reply to Nick's last message.
I opened the messages and saw that he had sent me another one four hours ago. I
smiled like an idiot when I saw the photo he had sent me: it was him and Maddie,
sticking out their tongues and smiling at me. He looked so handsome, with his messy
black hair... and that girl, so similar to him and yet so different... I knew that when he
came back from seeing Maddie, his mood would decline, and he would spend several
hours feeling down and grumpy.
I missed him. I really wanted to hear his voice and have him by my side.
Luckily, my mother had her own room, so I was alone when I picked up the phone and
dialed his number. I anxiously waited for him to answer... It was late in the United
States, so I figured he must be sleeping, but still, I impatiently waited to hear his voice.
"Noah?" he answered on the fifth ring.
"I miss you," I simply said.
I heard him sit up, and I imagined him turning on the bedside lamp and running his
hand over his face, waking up for me.
"Don't wake me up to tell me that, freckles," he protested with a grumble. "Tell me
you're having a blast, that you're not even thinking about me because if not, this stupid
trip doesn't make any sense."
I smiled sadly, resting my head on the pillow.
"You know that I'm having a good time, but it's not the same without you," I replied,
knowing that, despite what he said, he liked hearing me say that I missed him. "How's
it going with Maddie?" I asked, wishing I could have been there with him. I loved going
with him and seeing how he was with his sister: he was a completely different Nick, a
sweet and patient Nick, fun and protective.
There was a momentary silence before he spoke again.
"My mother brought her to me," he said in a tone that I already knew too well. "If you
could have seen her... as stiff as a forty-year-old Barbie, forcing me to treat the girl in
ways she doesn't deserve."
"Damn, his mother." I still remembered how upset he had been after briefly seeing her
at the hospital that time when Maddie got sick. The desperation in his voice, his eyes
moist from seeing her for the first time in years...
"She shouldn't have forced the situation like that," I commented, annoyed. I understood
that his mother wanted to reconnect with Nick, after all, he was her son, but not in that
way, putting him in a difficult position.
"I don't know what the hell she wants, but I don't want to see her again, I don't care
about her or her life," he said. His tone was clearly angry, but there was also some
sadness, well concealed. However, I knew him well enough to know that a part of him
longed to find out what his mother had to say.
"Nicholas... don't you think...?" I began cautiously, but he cut me off immediately.
"Don't go there, Noah, no, don't even try. I refuse to talk to that woman, I refuse to be in
the same room with her again," his voice was menacing. Only once had I hinted that
maybe he should reconnect with his mother, let her explain herself, or at least try to
maintain a cordial relationship, but he had exploded in anger. There was something
more he wasn't telling me. I knew that he didn't hate her just because she had
abandoned him as a child, which was already terrible in itself, but something else had
happened, something he knew he wouldn't tell me.
"Okay, I'm sorry," I agreed, trying to calm the situation.
I could hear him breathing heavily from the other side of the line.
"Now I just want to lose myself in you, forget about all this shit, and make love to you
for hours; damn the moment you left."
I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach when I heard him say that. He was angry, but
his words ignited a fire within me. I also wanted to be in his arms, to let him explore my
body with his lips, to feel his hands holding me down on the mattress, with strength but
always with infinite tenderness and care...
"I'm sorry that this trip is so horrible for you, really, I wish I could be there with you right
now," I replied, trying to reach out to him with my words, even though I knew that
Nicholas was someone who needed physical contact to feel okay, to feel loved... I
didn't know if my words would be enough to make him understand how much I loved
him and how bad I felt knowing that he was suffering because of his mother without
anyone else to turn to except me because he never talked about this with anyone, not
even with Lion.
"Don't worry about me, Noah, I'm fine," he affirmed a second later. One part of him
wanted to make the trip enjoyable for me, and the other part just wanted to blame me
for leaving.
I heard my mother waking up in the next room. We had slept in late, and if we wanted
to do everything we had planned for the day, we had to leave.
"I have to go," I informed him, wishing I could talk to him for hours.
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"Take care. I love you," he finally said and hung up.
The trip had been amazing, as much as I missed Nick. I couldn't believe my luck being
in all these wonderful places. I had loved Italy, visiting the Roman Colosseum, walking
through its streets, eating tortellini, and tasting the best raspberry ice cream I had ever
had in my life. Now we had been in London for two days, and I couldn't be more in love
with the city. Everything about it felt like it was taken from a Dickens novel. Moreover,
most of the books I had read over the years were set in that metropolis, mostly
romantic period stories where women strolled through Hyde Park on horseback or on
foot, always accompanied by carriages, of course. The buildings were elegant, old but
beautiful and classy. Piccadilly was bustling with people: executives in jackets and
briefcases, hippies with colorful caps, and just tourists like me, navigating through that
human traffic and admiring the lights of that splendid street. Harrods had fascinated
me, but I had also been horrified by the prices, although I suppose that for someone
like the Leisters, a ten-pound chocolate truffle was no problem.
My mother was delighted with everything, just as enthusiastic as me but more
accustomed to it, as she had already visited many places with William. They had gone
on a honeymoon to London and then to Dubai for two weeks. It was clear that my
mother was in a higher tier than me; I noticed this because we reacted differently to
what we saw. I was amazed by everything and astounded by the simplest things; my
mother laughed at me, but deep down, I knew that no matter how many places she had
seen, she would always feel fortunate to have everything we had now.
The days passed, and we had been traveling for almost two weeks. We still had to visit
France and Spain, and until then—three days had passed since the conversation with
Nicholas—I had never had to share a room with my mother. We always slept in a suite
with two separate rooms, but in France, there was a mix-up with the reservation, so we
ended up not only sharing a room but also sharing a bed.
"Do you like Paris?" my mother asked as she took off her earrings, already in her
pajamas. I, on the other hand, was wrapped in a towel with dripping wet hair as I had
just showered.
"The city is beautiful," I replied as I got dressed. With my underwear on, I turned
towards the mirror where my mother was brushing her hair, and I saw her eyes,
through the glass, pause for a moment on the scar on my stomach.
I shouldn't have stayed with so little clothing in front of her; I knew it saddened her
every time she saw the evidence of that night when I was nearly killed. I saw in her
eyes that the painful memories crossed her mind, and I wanted to redirect her thoughts
to something cheerful before she blamed herself for something she wasn't responsible
for.
"Have you talked to Nicholas?" she asked a minute later, as I climbed into bed in my
pajamas, waiting for her to finish applying all the creams she had brought with her.
"Yes, he sends his regards," I lied, trying not to show it. The relationship between
Nicholas and my mother was going through a rough patch, so I tried to avoid
mentioning them in conversations I had with either of them.
My mother nodded thoughtfully.
"Are you happy with him, Noah?" she suddenly inquired.
I didn't expect that question and remained silent for a few moments. The answer was
easy: of course, I was happy with him, more than with anyone else. Then I
remembered that some time ago, when we were in the Bahamas and weren't yet
together, Nick had asked me the same question: if I was happy, and my answer had
been that there, with him, I was. But what about when we weren't together? Was I
happy when I wasn't with him? Was I completely happy right now, being in this room
miles away, even though I knew he loved me and that we would be together again
soon?
"Your silence is concerning."
I lifted my gaze from where it had been fixed and realized that she had misinterpreted
my silence.
"No, no, of course, I'm happy with him; I love him, Mom," I hurried to clarify.
My mother looked at me with a furrowed brow.
"You don't seem very convinced," she stated, and I thought I saw a certain relief in her
gaze.
"The problem is that I love him too much," I blurted out, "My life without him would have
no meaning, and that's what scares me."
My mother closed her eyes for a second and turned to face me directly.
"That doesn't make any sense."
Of course, it made sense, it was completely serious. With Nicholas, I felt safe. He
protected me from my nightmares and provided the security that had been missing in
my life. He was the only person I could confide in about my problems. So, when we
weren't together, I felt like I lost control over myself. Intrusive thoughts flooded my
mind, and I felt things that I knew I shouldn't feel.
"It makes all the sense in the world, Mom, and I thought that out of all the people I
know, you would understand, considering how in love you are with William."
My mother shook her head.
"You're wrong. No one should be the reason for your existence, do you hear me?"
Suddenly, her face lost color, and she looked at me with unsettling intensity. "My life
revolved around a man for a long time, someone who didn't deserve even a minute of
it. When I was with your father, I believed that only he could tolerate me. I came to
believe that no one would ever love me, that I couldn't be alone without him by my
side."
My heart started pounding rapidly. My mother rarely spoke to me about my father.
"The pain he inflicted had nothing to do with the fear I felt of being without him... Men
like your father get into your mind and do as they please with it. Never let a man take
possession of your soul because you don't know what he'll do with it—whether he'll
cherish and worship it or let it wither away between his fingers."
—Nicholas is not like that," I asserted, my emotions running high. I didn't want to hear
that from my mother; I didn't want her to tell me that there was a possibility of my heart
being shattered again. Nicholas loved me, and he would never leave me. He wasn't
like my father, and he would never be.
"I'm just warning you that you should always put yourself first before others... If your
happiness depends on a boy, there's something you should reconsider. Men come and
go, but happiness is something only you can cultivate."
I tried not to let her words affect me, not to let them seep in, but they did. They certainly
did. That night was a clear example of it.
My hands were tied, and a cloth blindfolded me, blocking any trace of light. My heart
raced madly, cold sweat coursed through my body, and my rapid breath, fueled by fear,
indicated that a panic attack was imminent.
I was alone; there was no one there. Infinite darkness surrounded me, along with the
source of all my fears. Then, suddenly, they removed the blindfold, my hands were no
longer bound, and intense brightness streamed in through a large window. I ran
outside, through an endless hallway, with a voice inside me telling me not to keep
running because nothing good awaited me on the other side.
I still went out, and there, encircling me, I found a bunch of Ronnies pointing a gun at
me. I stopped, frightened, trembling, feeling the sweat soaking my shirt.
"You know what you have to do..." all the Ronnies said at once.
I turned to a gun resting on a broken wooden crate on the floor. With trembling hands, I
picked it up, and after a few seconds of hesitation, I disengaged the safety, lifted it, and
turned to face the person kneeling on the ground right in front of me.
"Don't do it, please," my father pleaded, crying, kneeling on the ground and looking at
me with terror.
My hand started to shake, but I didn't back down.
"I'm sorry, Dad..."

The sound of the gunshot caused me to open my eyes, but that wasn't what had
awakened me; it was my mother shaking me anxiously.
"Oh my God, Noah!" she exclaimed, sighing in relief as she saw me open my eyes.
Disoriented, I sat up. I was sweating and trembling like a leaf. The blankets were
wrapped around my body, as if they had been trying to suffocate me while I slept. It
wasn't until I brought my hands to my face that I realized I had been crying.
"I had a nightmare..." I said, trembling.
My mother looked at me with fear reflected in her blue eyes.
"Since when have you been having nightmares like this?" she asked, looking at me as
if something had suddenly changed. Her eyes were no longer at peace; that look had
returned.
I wasn't going to tell her that nightmares were a normal part of my life, something I
could only escape when I was with Nicholas. I didn't want her to worry, I didn't want to
admit that I dreamt of killing my father, that it was me pulling the trigger, causing his
blood to spill on the floor...
I got out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom. But my mother stopped me,
gripping my arm tightly.
"Since when, Noah?"
I needed to distance myself from her, to erase her worried face from my mind. I didn't
want her to feel bad again, I didn't want anyone to know what was happening to me.
"It was just this time, Mom, probably because we're in an unfamiliar room... you know, I
tend to get nervous in unfamiliar places."
My mother looked at me with a furrowed brow, but she didn't stop me when I freed
myself from her grasp and locked myself in the bathroom.
I wanted to call Nicholas. Only he could calm me down, but I didn't want to have to
explain what had happened, not from such a distance, not knowing that he had no idea
I had nightmares.
I splashed water on my face and pretended to look reassuring. When I reentered the
room, I ignored my mother's doubtful gaze and lay back down between the sheets.
"Don't do it, Noah, please..."
My father's words continued to echo in my head until, somehow, I managed to fall
asleep.
There were five days left until we returned. I was exhausted, not only physically but
mentally as well. I desperately needed to sleep for twenty-four straight hours, and that
could only be achieved with Nick holding me in his arms. Luckily, I hadn't shared a
room with my mother again, but the dark circles under my eyes were a perfect
reminder for her not to forget what had happened.
There was also the small problem that I hadn't told her yet that I planned to move in
with Nick. I knew she would explode, but I had already made up my mind. There was
nothing she could say to make me change my decision.
My mother was more suspicious than usual, as if she sensed that things weren't going
as she wanted, that something was wrong. She redirected her nosy questions to
neutral topics, but I knew that as soon as we set foot in California, all hell would break
loose. That's why I was counting the days to see Nick again. With him, I could confront
her.
After so many years, and with my father gone, my mother was incapable of protecting
me because everything was in my mind, everything was inside me... and I had no idea
how to overcome it.

14

NICK

Only two days were left until Noah returned. I don't think I had ever been so anxious to
see someone in my life. My feelings were divided between wanting to shower her with
kisses and wanting to strangle her for leaving me here, and I didn't know which I would
do first.
I had noticed she was acting a bit strange in our recent conversations. She told me she
was tired and dying to see me, and I was counting down the hours until that moment
arrived. I had fixed up the apartment—it was a mess—I had bought groceries, and I
even cleaned the cat with wet wipes, which resulted in scratches all over my arm and
required me to count to a hundred to avoid throwing that furball off the balcony.
I wanted us to have the best night of our lives when she arrived. I wanted her to
remember what she was missing when she left and left me behind. I wanted her life to
depend on mine as much as mine depended on hers.
I had spent almost the entire month cooped up at home and work, catching up on my
studies; I wanted to graduate as soon as possible. If I pushed myself with the
remaining subjects, I would be able to finish ahead of schedule, and if all went well, I
could finally get my father to take me more seriously.
The following night, as I was stepping out of the shower, wrapped in a towel to avoid
getting the whole floor wet, someone knocked on the door.
I cursed under my breath, making a mess of everything, and went to open it—it was
Lion.
"I need your help," he said, entering without further ado.
I turned towards him as I closed the door with a kick. Lion looked pitiful. It had been a
week since I last saw him, and the person in front of me was nothing like my friend.
"What the hell happened to you?" I asked as I approached the couch where he had sat
down. He didn't meet my gaze and instead brought his hands to his head in a
desperate gesture.
He looked disheveled and unkempt, as if he hadn't showered in days. The look he
gave me made me understand that, although he wasn't drunk, he had been drinking.
"I got myself into trouble."
Shit... that couldn't mean anything good. Lion's troubles were serious, not petty stuff.
"You know I stopped dealing a year and a half ago," he began, and I knew where this
was going as soon as I heard the word "dealing."
I grabbed a pair of pants from the couch and put them on.
"Don't tell me you've gone back to that shit, Lion!" I exclaimed sharply.
Lion ran his hand through his hair and glared at me.
"What do you want me to say? I couldn't turn down the opportunity to make so much
cash... Luka is living with me now, the idiot wanted to do it himself, but he just got out
of prison. I couldn't risk him getting caught again..."
"He's not at risk, but you are? You're an idiot. If you're not careful, you'll end up behind
bars!"
"Don't you dare judge me!" he shouted, getting to his feet. "You have it all!"
I stood up, restraining the urge to kick him because he was my friend, and I knew he
was struggling financially, but that's what fights and races were for. They were illegal,
yes, but it wasn't the same as selling drugs, which could land you more than ten years.
"What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into?" I asked, trying to keep calm.

Lion looked around; his green eyes, which starkly contrasted with his tanned skin,
locked onto me a second later.
"I have to deliver a package in Gardens tonight. It was supposed to be at the beach,
something quick, but I got a call, and now I have to go into that shitty neighborhood."
Damn it, Nickerson Gardens was one of the worst places in Los Angeles. Lion and I
had been targeted there for years because of a major fight we got into. If it hadn't been
for my father, we would have both been in trouble, and we had sworn never to go back
there.
"You don't expect me to go with you..."
"It'll be quick. We deliver this shit and come back here, man."
Fuck! I didn't want any trouble, not anymore, not when I was getting my life back on
track. Since what happened with Ronnie and Noah's father, I had sworn not to get
involved in any more mess and especially not to drag my girlfriend into it. I had been
responsible for what happened to Ronnie, for everything that followed. None of that
would have happened if I hadn't let Noah get involved in that world with me.
"I'm not going, Lion," I announced, stopping and looking at him to make it clear.
He seemed surprised for a second and then angry.
"It's suicide to go in there alone, and you know it... At least stay and watch the car
while I make the delivery. You said we were brothers, through thick and thin, well, I
need you now."
"Fuckkkkk."
"It's just delivering a package," I asked, knowing I would regret it.
His face lit up.
"I'll deliver it, and then we're out, man, I swear," he said, getting up from the couch. It
reminded me of when I had moved in with him and started accompanying him on his
shit. Back then, we were much younger and more irresponsible. I didn't want to screw
up again. There was too much at stake now. I couldn't go back to that world, not
anymore.
"I'll drive," I offered, grabbing the keys and wishing I could tell him to fuck off. However,
Lion had always been by my side when I needed him. I wished he wasn't still involved
in that world, but there was nothing I could do. My father had offered him a job at his
company, but he had refused. His grandfather's workshop was his whole life, and he
wasn't going to leave it. By rejecting my father's offer, he had given up the only chance
he would have for a better life, a life without problems.
Noah was arriving the next night, so I had plenty of time to do what Lion wanted, get
back home, shower, and be ready to pick her up at the airport. I grabbed the keys and
walked out of the apartment without looking back.
As we got into the car and left the parking lot, there was complete silence.
"Thanks for coming with me, Nick," Lion said then, his gaze fixed on the window.
"Does Jenna know you're dealing drugs?"
I felt him tense up at the mention of his girlfriend.
"No, and she's never going to find out," he replied sharply. It was clearly a warning. I
wasn't planning on getting involved in his shit, but it pissed me off that he was dragging
me into problems.
As I ventured further into Gardens, memories I wanted to forget flooded my mind...
Ronnie, his friends, the races, Noah's kidnapping, that son of a bitch of a father
pointing a gun at her... Damn, all that shit was in this neighborhood, and I had sworn
never to set foot in it again.
"Take a right," he instructed when we reached an intersection I knew all too well.
"It's not at Midnight, is it?" I commented nervously as I made the turn.

Midnight was a nightclub where dealers from all over the city gathered to do their
shady business. It was a kind of bar-disco where the scum of society congregated.
When we were younger, we got involved with a group from there, and we did all sorts
of crazy things until things took a turn for the worse. We found ourselves with guns,
dealing with a guy who supplied cocaine to high-profile individuals. That was when I
said enough. Of course, it's not easy to just walk away like that. The beating we
received was still etched in my memory; I think they broke three of my ribs, and that
was the final straw. Soon after, my mother and sister went through their ordeal, and I
had to move back in with my father. Since then, I hadn't set foot in this place.
"Yeah, but I've told you it'll just be a moment. I'll deliver the package, get paid, and we'll
leave," Lion insisted.
I parked the car at the corner of the bar. From where I had parked, I could see people
coming in and out. I had no interest in running into any assholes from the past. I
gripped the steering wheel tightly as Lion got out of the vehicle and made his way to
the entrance.
Sometimes, I would think back to that time in my life and couldn't understand how I had
messed up so badly. And now, when I finally had everything I needed, when I knew
what it was like to love someone more than anything in the world, even more than
myself, I found myself caught up in this shit again.
Impatiently, I waited for Lion to come out, but he didn't, and I started getting nervous.
Fifteen minutes had already passed, and if what he had told me was true, he shouldn't
have taken more than five minutes at most.
Muttering curses under my breath, I pulled the keys from the ignition and slammed the
car door shut. As I approached the bar's entrance, the two bouncers stationed there
stared at me.
"Where do you think you're going?" one of them replied, stepping in front of me.
"Let's keep the peace, alright?" I replied, stopping and counting to ten. "I'm here to
meet a friend."
Before he had a chance to respond, a guy with facial piercings came out and stared at
me.
"Let him in," he said.
The bouncer gave me a once-over and stepped aside. I rolled up my sleeves as I
entered, knowing that this wouldn't end well. My suspicions were confirmed as I
followed the pierced guy to a room at the back of the club, where I found Lion lying on
the floor, with a black eye and split lip.
I felt my entire body tense up, and my fists clenched instinctively.
"Look who we have here," said a voice I knew all too well. Cruz, Ronnie's friend, the
same guy who had beaten me up that night when I was stupid enough to venture alone
into an alley in a neighborhood like this. Seeing him brought back all the memories of
what had happened with Noah. I had tried with all my might to leave that shit behind, to
focus on my future, on Noah, on protecting her, on forging a different path from the one
I had started as a teenager... but seeing him there, seeing Lion lying on the ground,
seeing that son of a bitch surrounded by scum like him... All the anger that I had been
holding back for months seemed to resurface from within me.
"I knew it would be a matter of time before you showed up here," declared Cruz,
leaning on the table behind him. His black hair was no longer shaved to the bone;
instead, it was tied back in a small ponytail. His arms were covered in tattoos, and his
gaze indicated that he was high on something, who knows what he had taken. "Your
friend owes us money, daddy's boy, and he did well to bring you here to settle his
debt."
My gaze shifted from Cruz to Lion in half a second. The latter didn't look at me; he had
swollen eyes and kept them fixed on the ground.
"I don't owe you shit, asshole. You better start thinking of another way to get your
money back because you won't receive a single cent from me."
I carefully chose each word. I had no idea what I was going to do to get out of there.
Lion seemed defeated, and amidst all my anger, somewhere deep in my mind, I felt
sorry for him, for seeing that he was still caught up in that shit I had already escaped
from. However, I was so furious at that moment that I just wanted to beat him up
myself, for being an idiot and for dragging me into his fucking problems.
Cruz stepped away from the table and approached me slowly.
"You know... it was a shame Ronnie ended up in jail; of course, for me, it was perfect,
everything he had now belongs to me... Listen carefully," he said, stopping half a meter
away from my face. "I'm not as stupid as he was. Your dumbass friend owes me three
thousand dollars, three thousand dollars that I will collect in cash or blood. So, you
decide: either you give it to me, problem solved... or I'll kill him, and no one will ever
recognize his stupid face again."
I clenched my jaw, holding myself back. I could only think of one thing: Noah. I wasn't
going to get into trouble, I wasn't going to fight that bastard... I thought of Jenna, how
she would react if she saw Lion in a worse state than he was in that moment.
"I don't have three thousand dollars in cash. I'm not a fucking drug dealer like you."
Cruz burst into laughter, and his friends followed suit.
"Don't worry, there's an ATM nearby. We'll all go together. How does that sound?"
I took a deep breath to resist the urge to punch him right then and there, and I turned
towards the door. I knew they were following me; the truth was, it was best to get away
from that place. There wasn't much chance of leaving that suburb without problems
after giving them the money. Out on the street... that was another story.
Once outside, as soon as I felt the cold night air, my gaze quickly scanned the
surroundings. There were guys grouped on the corners, a few vagabonds, and two
prostitutes talking to three guys in a car. I couldn't wait to get out of there.
Lion positioned himself beside me as the six of us—Cruz, three of his friends, Lion, and
I—headed towards the ATM two blocks away.
"You're an idiot," I snapped, stepping hard and restraining the desire to punch him; I
didn't care if he was my best friend.
"They screwed me over," he excused himself and then spat on the ground. "They told
me that the cocaine I didn't sell had to be handed over to them, no questions asked,
and now they ask me for money for what I haven't sold. They're a bunch of fucking
bastards."
"You have a bigger problem than these idiots, and you better start solving it," I replied,
stepping ahead when we reached the ATM.
Cruz approached me. He was losing his patience, so I confronted him and restrained
myself from smashing his face.
Heard Cruz's words, and before I could react, three guys were kicking me on the
ground. I grabbed the first ankle within reach and pulled with all my strength. It was all
arms and legs, punches and blood. Adrenaline rushed through my veins, preventing
me from feeling any pain. Rage blinded me, the name of my girlfriend on that bastard's
lips fueled the fire of my anger.
I got on top of the guy I had tripped and started landing punches to his stomach. Out of
the corner of my eye, I saw Lion fighting with two others. We weren't going to last long,
it was two against four, and Lion was on his last legs. I could handle two easily, even
three, but four? I had my limits too.
A knee struck my jaw, and my vision blurred. I fell to the ground, lying on my back, and
received a kick to the stomach that left me breathless. I tried to draw air into my lungs,
but it was impossible.
"Just make sure not to come back here... because it'll be the last thing you do," Cruz
taunted.

15

NOAH

My journey had already come to an end. I had visited magnificent places, swam in the
best beaches, and tasted all kinds of traditional foods, but when the plane from New
York landed its wheels at Los Angeles airport, I could only feel jubilation, jubilation and
a nervousness that gripped my stomach.
I stood up immediately when the beep indicating that we could unfasten our seatbelts
sounded. My mother rolled her eyes, but I ignored her; I was grateful to be traveling in
first class and be among the first to exit. As soon as the doors opened, I headed
straight towards the jet bridge that would take me to the terminal. I became impatient
when I saw my mother lagging behind. What the hell was she doing?
Luckily, since we had made a layover in New York, I didn't have to wait or show my
passport again, so all I had to do was walk down a long corridor and go down the
escalators. It was seven o'clock in the evening in Los Angeles, and the first thing I saw
was the blinding light of the sunset, which blurred my vision for a moment. William was
there.
But where was Nick?
My gaze swept across the entire airport as the stairs kept descending and descending
until I had no choice but to approach my boyfriend's father.
He smiled at me and opened his arms for a hug, although the smile didn't reach his
eyes. I didn't want to be rude, but he wasn't the one I wanted to embrace.
"Hey there, stranger," he said as I briefly hugged him.
"And Nicholas?"
He observed me for a second, but just as he was about to answer, he spotted my
mother.
She ran until he embraced her in his arms. I stared at them without understanding
anything at all. As soon as they separated after he kissed her on the lips, forcing me to
look away, they both turned towards me.
"And Nicholas?" my mother asked, just as I had done earlier.
Will looked into my eyes again and shrugged, as if to say, "What did you expect?"
"He sent me a message saying that he wouldn't be able to pick you up, that he would
call you as soon as he could."
That made no sense.
"He didn't say anything else?" I blurted out in disbelief. My joy deflated like a popped
balloon... disappointment flooded over me.
William shook his head, and I turned my back on him as he and Steve gathered the
suitcases. I took out my cellphone and made the first call.
The voicemail answered. I hung up before my deafening silence could be recorded.
Why hadn't he come to pick me up? Was he working? If that were the case, he would
have come anyway. He did it for my birthday, he dropped everything to see me...
Had these weeks apart made him not care as much as before?
For God's sake, what the hell was I thinking? Of course, he cared! We had talked, he
was looking forward to seeing me, he had told me...
I dialed his number again.
"Nicholas, I'm at the airport, and you're not here. What happened?"
I let the message record and put the phone back in my jeans pocket. I turned to my
mother, who was still clinging to William, and I stuck close to Steve as we left the
airport and headed towards the car. Steve always knew where Nick was, actually, he
always knew where we all were. He was the Leister family's security agent.
"Do you know what happened, Steve?" I asked him, staring intently. I knew that
Nicholas trusted him; whenever something happened, he would call him, and he also
sent him when on occasions he couldn't pick me up himself or simply wanted to make
sure I arrived home safe and sound.
Steve averted his gaze, and then I understood that something was going on that no
one wanted to tell me. I grabbed his arm and forced him to look at me.
"What the hell is going on?"
"Don't worry, Noah. Nicholas is fine. He'll get in touch with you as soon as he takes you
home."
I hadn't been there for half an hour, and I already felt like strangling him. What was he
playing at?
The journey home felt endless, and I wished I could go straight to Nick's apartment. I
had no idea what was happening, but I didn't like one bit what was going on. I knew
why Steve wasn't telling me anything; it was already late, and I was sure Nicholas
intended for me to stay at home that night... all sorts of images were running through
my mind, mostly bad ones.
When we arrived, it was already night. Part of me hoped to see him there, waiting for
me, and that all of this had just been a tasteless joke. He hadn't answered my calls,
and I was starting to worry... or get angry, I wasn't sure yet.
"Noah, change your expression, please. You're coming from a trip, not an asylum."
I was sure my mother was delighted with what was happening. Part of her wanted to
see how many times Nicholas could disappoint me, she was waiting for me to leave
him, for something to be the last straw, but she was very mistaken.
I went up to my room without even responding to her. I grabbed my phone and dialed
his number again. I had been calling him throughout the car ride. The worst part was
that Lion wasn't answering either, not even Jenna.
On the fifth ring, he finally answered.
"Noah," he simply said.
"Where are you?"
I listened attentively, but all I heard was his breathing, his deep breathing, as if he were
weighing what he was going to tell me next. I felt fear in my heart... an irrational fear
because I didn't understand what was happening.
"I'm fine, I'm sorry, something has happened, and that's why I couldn't come to pick you
up." His voice sounded remorseful, remorseful and harsh.
"Are you okay, is everyone okay? Lion and Jenna aren't answering my calls," I said,
sitting on the bed. Hearing his voice had calmed me down a bit.
"I'm perfectly fine," he replied, but I didn't believe him. Something was wrong, and he
didn't want to tell me.
"I'm going to your apartment right now," I announced determinedly, getting up.
"No."
His voice was so sharp that I froze where I was, with my hand on the doorknob.
"Nicholas Leister, you are going to tell me right now what is going on, or I swear to God
I will pluck every hair from your head."
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"I'm sorry, but I can't handle that right now," he then said in a tone that I didn't like at all.
"Stay at home and wait for me to call."
And he hung up.
I stared at the phone as if it had slapped me. I dialed his number so quickly that I
almost broke the screen.
It was busy.
Who the hell was he talking to? How dare he hang up on me like that?
I went straight to the nightstand, where I kept the keys to the Audi. They weren't there.
Was this some kind of joke?
I left my room and ran to the kitchen. I opened the drawer where spare keys were kept,
but I didn't see any for my car. My mother and William were nowhere to be found, and I
didn't even want to imagine what they were up to.

Was my car outside? I hadn't even bothered to check. I made my way to the front door,
but Steve came out of his office at that very moment, holding the phone in one hand
and giving me a warning look.
"Are you talking to him?" I asked, looking at the phone and then accusing him with a
finger.
"Noah, he asked me not to let you leave the house. He'll explain everything tomorrow."
I let out a laugh that sounded strange even to myself. Steve seemed embarrassed, but
he knew I would listen to Nicholas.
"Fine, you're right," I said.
Steve appeared relieved. He watched me closely as I turned around and started
climbing the stairs. That guy was delusional if he thought he could make me stay in my
own house. I entered my room, determined to wait as long as necessary. I paced
nervously and took out my mobile phone.
There's nothing that justifies what you're doing. You'll find out when I see you.
Fortunately, he replied instantly.
Don't get violent. I love you, rest, and we'll see each other soon.
"We'll see each other soon?!"
I entered the bathroom to freshen up. I felt disgusting after hours of flying. I checked
the time; it was nine o'clock, and I didn't plan on attempting my escape until at least
eleven. I laughed at my own expression, "escape," as if I were in a prison.
I was going to kill him...
Once I was somewhat presentable, albeit with wet hair, I peeked out into the hallway. It
was quiet. In truth, it was always quiet in that house. It was huge. My plan was to go to
the garage in the basement and take my old car. Yes, the same one that had broken
down a thousand times but that I couldn't bring myself to sell or throw away. I knew that
junk would come in handy someday.
The door to the garage was at the back of the house, so I didn't need to pass through
the front entrance or Steve's office. I descended the stairs, making as little noise as
possible, and smiled upon seeing my precious car next to my mother's BMW. There
was also a motorcycle; I had never bothered to ask whose it was, and I was tempted to
take it, but I didn't know where the keys were, and I was sure Nicholas would kill me if
he saw me arriving late at night on a bike I had never ridden in my life.
I got into the car and took out the remote that opened the garage doors. Once again, I
thanked the heavens because the house was huge, and no one heard me leave.
I had nearly an hour of driving ahead of me, so I turned up the music to clear my mind
and rolled down the windows, wishing it was my convertible I was driving and not that
car that could barely reach ninety.
I knew it was reckless to hit the road at that hour, especially after being awake for
nearly twenty hours, but I didn't care. The desire to see Nicholas and the feeling that
something was not right outweighed everything else.
The journey felt endless, and when I finally arrived at his apartment building, I felt my
nerves escalating. Not only because I was about to see him after a month, but also
because I knew he would be angry with me for coming alone at such a late hour.
I stepped into the elevator and then realized I hadn't taken the keys he had given me.
Shit... now I would have to ring the doorbell at one in the morning. With my heart racing
a mile a minute, I knocked on the door... not the doorbell. I don't know why, but that
seemed like the more sensible thing to do. The knocks were soft and undramatic. A
part of me was already trying to calm the waters even before seeing him.
No one opened the door.
I knocked again, this time with more force, and then I saw light under the door. Was he
asleep? I heard a curse from the other side, followed by an insult. Finally, the door
opened, and there he was.
I don't think anything could have prepared me for what I saw. I had to hold my breath.
My hands went straight to my mouth, stifling a scream. I didn't expect to see myself
there, and now I understood why.
"Damn it, Noah," he muttered as he rested his forehead against the doorframe. "Can't
you do what I ask, even just once?"
"What happened to you?" I asked in a choked whisper. Oh my God... his face was
covered in bruises, his left eye was oozing and green. And his lip was split, completely
battered.
He put a hand to his head and then reached out and pulled me in before slamming the
door shut.
"I told you to stay home!"
Now that I was there, now that I saw him, I understood why he hadn't come to pick me
up. He was devastated, he had been beaten badly... I felt my heart race, not only out of
fear from seeing his battered body, but because the excitement of seeing him, the
fantasy of our reunion after weeks of not seeing each other, disappeared before my
eyes in a devastating way.
I noticed his bare chest, a bandage holding his ribs together...
He had been injured... he had been horribly injured, him, Nick, my Nick.
"Don't look at me like that, Noah," he pleaded then. He turned his back to me and put
his hand to his head again.
I didn't know what to say. I was left speechless. That was the last thing I needed, the
last thing my eyes wanted to see, my injured boyfriend. To me, a beating wasn't just a
beating: it was something much bigger, something worse... it stirred up memories that,
damn it, I didn't want to remember.
He approached me.
"Don't cry, damn it!" he exclaimed, and I felt his fingers on my cheek, wiping away the
tears that were rolling down.
"I don't understand," I confessed, and it was true, I didn't understand what had
happened, why he was hurt. I was stunned, nothing had turned out as I had expected.
Nicholas pulled me close and embraced me. I was afraid to touch him, afraid to hurt
him, but instinctively my arms wrapped around him, and I felt his lips on my head.
"I've missed you so much," he said, and I felt his other hand caress my hair as he
breathed in the scent of my shampoo... His fingers cupped my face, and I opened my
eyelids to see him. His left eye was halfway closed due to the blow, preventing me from
seeing that sky-blue color that I fell in love with; all I could see was pain and suffering...
When he leaned in to kiss me, I pulled away.
"No," I refused, fearful.
I tightly closed my eyes, memories, memories, damn memories... my battered mother,
my dying father, me bleeding on the floor, waiting for her to return...
I turned around and covered my face with my hands, hiding my expression.
"Why are you doing this, Nicholas?" I asked, muffling my voice with my hands.
I turned back to him. I hated crying, especially in front of people, and even more so
over something that could have been avoided. He watched me silently, still hurt by my
rejection of his touch, I believe.
"Can't you be a normal boyfriend?" I reproached him in a pleading tone. I was hurt, hurt
by everything, seeing him in that state and because my fantasy had evaporated into
thin air.
The pain that reflected on his face upon hearing my words made me feel guilty, but I
wasn't going to take them back. He had probably gotten back into fights to earn money,
or maybe he had just gotten drunk and ended up in a brawl. Surely Lion and Jenna
were involved too. That's why none of them answered my calls.
"You shouldn't have come," he admonished me, controlling his tone of voice. Now he
was controlling himself? Now it was too late. "I wanted to spare you from this, but you
never listen!"
"You can't order me to do something and just expect me to do what you want without
even giving me a damn explanation, Nicholas. You had me worried."
"Damn it, Noah, I had my reasons!"
"Your reasons are that you got beaten up?!"
He looked at me, breathing heavily, and I turned around not knowing what to do: torn
between my anger that he had returned to that world I hated so much, and my desire to
hold him tightly and never let go. I knew I would break down any moment now, and I
didn't plan on doing it in front of him.
His hand wrapped around my arm as I moved away towards the door, and I pulled to
free myself.
"Don't touch me right now, Nicholas, I mean it!"
His eyes sparked upon hearing me say that.
"Seriously? It's been a month since we last saw each other..."
"I don't care! Right now, I don't even recognize you. I thought you would be waiting for
me at the airport with a smile, but I'm an idiot, a stupid girl who expects something from
someone who clearly won't fulfill it."
"You haven't even let me explain!"
"What explanation can you give me? That you ran into a door?"
He glared at me, and I crossed my arms, waiting for him to explain. An eerie silence
filled the room until Nick tried to bridge the gap between us.
"Don't touch me," I repeated, this time completely serious.
He stood still, both of us holding each other's gaze, not knowing what to say next.
"It's not what you think," he whispered then. "I had to help Lion, he got himself into
trouble."
His words slowly sank into my mind.
"What kind of trouble?" I asked, noticing the open wound on his knuckles.
He took a step forward, cautioning me with his gaze. I let him, and as I saw that I didn't
step back, he reached me and placed his hands on my face.
"It's about money. Listen to me, Noah, I didn't want this to happen, I swear, freckles,"
he whispered, matching my height and locking his eyes with mine. "I've been waiting
for this day since you left. I bought groceries, fixed up the apartment, even the damn
cat is clean. Please, believe me, all I wanted was to see you. That's all that matters to
me."
I felt the scent of his body enveloping my senses, the warmth of his touch on my
cheeks, and that pain in my chest eased slightly because, despite him being the cause
of it, he was the only one capable of making it disappear.
I took a deep breath, and as he brought his forehead close to mine, I closed my eyes,
trying to calm myself. Hesitant, I placed my hands on his face.
"Loving you is the most complicated thing I've ever done in my life," I admitted.
"Loving you is the most beautiful thing I've ever done in mine."
I sighed. It was impossible to stay mad at him.
"I'm dying to kiss you," he said then, asking for permission.
It took me a few seconds to respond.
"Well, then do it."

16

NICK

I had messed up; the fear on her face when she saw me confirmed it, but I didn't care
anymore. She was there with me again, and I was dying to kiss her.
As our soft lips met, I felt a twinge of pain where the damn cut was. Nevertheless, I
didn't pull away. But Noah must have noticed because she suddenly moved back.
"Did I hurt you?" she asked, alarmed, her feline eyes roaming over my face. Those
adorable eyes, framed by moist lashes, damp from tears that, once again, I had
caused.
"No," I answered absentmindedly, lowering my hands to her waist and pulling her
closer to me again. "This is heaven. I've been wanting to kiss you like this for weeks."
Noah looked at me with a furrowed brow, leaning back and preventing me from
reaching her lips.
"You winced in pain," she insisted, holding my face in her hands.
What?
"I didn't wince."
"Yes, you did," she insisted, and her finger trailed down my cheek, delicately tracing my
lower lip. I clenched my jaw tightly. Yes, it hurt, but it was nothing compared to the pain
of not being able to touch her for days, to kiss her, to make love to her. "I'm going to
tend to your hand," she declared, determined.
She pushed me away and broke free from my grip. I would have liked to be more agile,
pull her towards me, sling her over my shoulder, and carry her to my room, but I had a
nearly broken rib. The doctors had told me not to get out of bed... and there I was,
ignoring their advice, as always. I watched her as she entered the kitchen. Finally, my
apartment seemed to come alive. The cat came out from who knows where and started
rubbing against Noah's feet.
"Hello, handsome N!" she exclaimed, affectionate, bending down to pick up the little
creature. I sat in the kitchen chair, observing as my girlfriend showered our cat with
affection while also searching for a first aid kit. When she found it, she came towards
me and sat down, turning her chair to face me.
"You look beautiful," I declared, delighted to see her blush.
"I can't say the same about you."
I smiled, and parts of my face that I didn't even know existed hurt.
"Give me your hand," she sweetly requested.
I did as she indicated, and as I watched her clean my wound, which actually had very
little blood, I noticed that she was even more gorgeous than when she had left. Her
hair had a reddish hue, with blonde highlights here and there, and her skin, bronzed by
the sun, had an orangey color that enhanced the features of her face. Her lips always
swelled after crying... and after fooling around, and as I looked at them, I couldn't help
but think about all the things I wanted to do to her. I wanted those lips on my body,
those hands on my back...
"Nicholas, I'm talking to you," she said louder, pulling me out of my reverie.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked, trying to control the desire that was igniting
inside me.
"I was asking how Lion is doing."
Lion... I didn't even want to hear his damn name.
"He was in the emergency room for several hours, but he's fine now, back home."
Noah's gaze was fixed on my wound, cleaning and disinfecting it...
"And Jenna?" she asked, leaning over the counter to reach for some scissors.
As she did so, she offered me a close-up view of her breasts, and I had to take a deep
breath to calm myself. Did we have to talk about that now? I didn't give a damn about
Jenna, honestly. Yes, I knew what had happened—though we hadn't told her that we
were involved in drug trafficking, well, it was actually her boyfriend who was
involved—and she was taking care of Lion.
"She's with him, probably nagging him," I impatiently replied, wanting her to finish with
my wound and look at me already. She seemed nervous, I could tell by the way she
was organizing and arranging things in the first aid kit.
"I want to know exactly what happened, tell me who did this, Nick. Who messed up
your face like this?"
"Noah, don't worry, okay? It won't happen again."
"I don't care, I want you to tell me," she retorted, staring at me intently.
"And I want to make love to you," I stated bluntly.
And there it was, her gaze locked onto mine just as I wanted.
"You can't," she replied, standing up with her voice trembling slightly.
I pulled her until she was positioned between my open legs. Her eyes were at my level.
"You know I always can," I affirmed, placing a hand on her back and pulling her closer
to me.
She looked at me hesitantly, tracing my wounds until she stopped at my bandaged
stomach.
"No, Nicholas, you're injured. You can't even breathe without feeling the pain from your
ribs, I'm sure," she refused, stopping my hands with hers when I started to lift her shirt.
Damn it, I didn't care about the pain in my body. There was a stronger pain that needed
soothing.
"Don't worry about me, freckles. Pleasure will be stronger than pain, I guarantee it," I
declared, removing her shirt and leaving her in her bra in front of me. I got aroused just
by looking at her.
I felt her heart racing when I started kissing above her breasts. Her pulse in her neck
was so strong that I could even see the blood pumping through her entire system,
preparing her for me.
I caressed her back with my hands, forgetting how soft and perfect it was... sometimes
I couldn't believe my luck. When my hand reached the clasp of her bra, she leaned
back, moving away, escaping from my arms.
"Damn it," I blurted out without even thinking.
"No, Nicholas, I don't want to hurt you," she insisted, looking at me tormented.
I laughed.
"Stop looking at me like that," she warned, pointing a finger at me, a finger that I
immediately captured.
I took her small hand in mine and brought it to my lips. I kissed it and bit the tip with my
teeth, and I saw the response in her body. When she attempted to pull away, my arms
quickly caught her. With the strength of my legs, I forced her to stay in front of me,
where I wanted her. My mouth went straight to her neck, kissing her right where I knew
she loved it. She let out a gasping sigh as my tongue took the place of my lips.
Her hands went to my neck and tangled in my hair, and in that moment, I knew I had
won the battle. I moved on to kiss the top of her breasts, and her hands traveled down
to my back. I extended my arms to encompass her entire body, positioning her so that
her breasts were exactly where I wanted them. Her body trembled, and her nails dug
into my skin. I hissed, not sure if it was from pain or pure carnal pleasure, but I didn't
have time to figure it out because she slipped away from my arms.
"Nicholas, you can't!" she exclaimed, both excited and angry. Yes, that's how I felt too.
Shit! I reached out to grab her, but she moved away with determination reflected in her
damn honey-colored eyes.
"You know perfectly well how this will end, freckles, so you can either walk away from
me and make me chase after you, which will only make my body hurt even more, or
you can come here right now and stop playing games."
A flash of anger crossed her face.
"Do you want to see how quickly I can walk out that door?"
"I want to fuck," I replied.
Her cheeks turned even redder. Clearly, she didn't expect that response, and a part of
me internally smiled at the sight of her expression.
—You're becoming quite foul-mouthed, did you know that?" she countered, still not
coming closer to me.
A devilish smile appeared on my face.
"I've always been this foul-mouthed, freckles, I just try to control myself around you,
although you don't make it easy for me."
I was reaching the limit of my patience.
I grabbed her hands tightly, stood up, leaned in, and stuck my tongue into her mouth.
My lip hurt, but I didn't care. I had endured worse injuries than that, and nothing was
going to stop me from kissing Noah that night. I had been waiting for too long.
A second later, she responded with the same enthusiasm as me. Her tongue began to
caress mine, first in slow circles, then with desperate urgency. Her small hands
pressed against my chest, and a grimace of pain escaped me.
She stopped the kiss and looked at me alarmed.
"Stop," I pleaded before she could say anything. "I'm going to make love to you in less
than five minutes, so don't waste words."
She fell silent, and deep down, I knew she was as eager as I was. She seemed to
consider it for a moment and finally understood that she had no chance. Instead of
heading to the bedroom, she took my hand and forced me to sit on the couch.
"What are you doing?" I asked, more excited than ever before.
"We're going to do it my way."
Her feline eyes sparkled with desire.
"You only know how to do it the way I've taught you, freckles."
With my back against the backrest, she straddled me. She gathered her hair with one
hand and tossed it all over her shoulder.
"I've been to France, I've been able to learn new things."
That comment didn't sit well with me. I glared at her.
"Don't be foolish," she said then, and with a swift movement, she removed her bra. Her
breasts were exposed before me, and I lost track of my thoughts. "And now you're
going to stay still."

17

NOAH

It was true that I didn't want to hurt him, but I also needed to be like that with him. I
wanted him to caress me with his hands, with his skillful fingers, to kiss me all over, in
all the forbidden places. I wanted him to make me his own and forget about all the
others.
"This will be the only time you'll have control, so enjoy it," he arrogantly remarked. But I
could feel his excitement beneath me, hard as a rock.
"We'll see about that," I said, leaning in to kiss his jaw. I would try to avoid his lips, I
didn't want to hurt him, but it would be difficult. It angered me to have to be careful; I
wanted us to make love freely, to let him dominate me with his body, just the way I liked
it. I wanted him to lift me up, to let the touch of our skin bring us pleasure, not pain.
Although having control for once could also be very exciting.
I ran my tongue along his stubbled chin until I reached his right ear. He smelled
delicious, like Nick, like a man...
His hands seized my breasts, and I let out a shuddered sigh as he squeezed firmly,
causing intense pleasure that made me tremble.
My hands trailed down his stomach. God, he had such a well-toned body...! I could feel
his muscles beneath my fingertips; I wanted to kiss every inch of his skin. My fingers
stopped just above his pants, and I smiled as his body trembled from top to bottom
while my lips nibbled at his neck and jawline.
"Don't be naughty, darling. I won't wait much longer," he warned, bringing his hands to
my waist. But I stopped him before he did what I knew he was going to do.

I smiled and moved away. I slid my fingers along my pants and pulled them down,
leaving me only in my underwear. His eyes darkened with desire.
"If I recall correctly, there was something you wanted me to do," I commented, wishing
to make him nervous, craving to see him lose control.
Then I saw his eyes fixated on mine, staring intensely, momentarily holding me with his
gaze.
"Not today," he uttered, and I could tell it was difficult for him to say.
I unbuttoned the first button of his pants.
"Why not?"
His breathing completely unraveled.
I freed him from his pants and started to caress his body slowly. He closed his eyes
tightly; I knew he wouldn't last long if I continued like this. It had been a month since we
last did it, and I was sure he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.
"Because when you do, I won't let you go," he said.
Upon hearing those words, I stood still, trying to regain control of the situation.
He leaned forward, a devilish smile spreading across his face.
"You better do as I say," he said, and his hand delicately pulled down my underwear,
leaving me completely naked before him.
His eyes seemed to penetrate every inch of my body, and I was grateful for having
overcome the initial embarrassment. There's nothing like fully trusting another person,
showing them all your insecurities, and seeing that not only do they accept them, but
they also adore them.
"Someday, I'll have control, and I'll be the one driving you crazy," I said in a breathless
voice as his lips began to kiss my stomach and his fingers touched my most sensitive
spot.
"You drive me crazy just by breathing, Noah," he admitted, getting even closer.
I gently pushed him back until he sat on the sofa, placing both hands on his shoulders.
I sat on his lap, trembling from his touch. His mouth claimed mine, and as we came
together in a desperate kiss, he lifted me by the waist, guiding me until he slowly
entered me. I closed my eyes tightly, savoring the contact, the feeling of having him
inside me again...
"Now it's your turn," he said through gritted teeth, forcing me to open my eyes.
Holding onto him, I began to move up and down slowly at first, allowing my body to
adjust to the sensation of having him inside after a month.
"You're driving me crazy, Noah," he growled, placing his hands on my waist and urging
me to go faster.
I tried to resist the strength of his arms; I wanted to go slow, to enjoy and prolong the
pleasure as much as possible, but he wouldn't let me. His arms and his body, despite
their state, were still stronger than mine.
"Damn it, Nicholas," I complained when I was on the verge of orgasm. "Slower!"
He separated from the couch and brought his face close to mine. His eyes subdued
me, silenced me, and his hand slipped in between to touch me where I yearned for
pleasure.
"Like this," he instructed, leaning in to bite my lip.
God... it was all too much, his words, his hand caressing me, and him thrusting in and
out of me... My body needed release after all these weeks without him, with nightmares
haunting me, the disappointment of not seeing him at the airport, the fear of finding him
with a battered face... I found myself accelerating the pace. He let out a deep groan of
pleasure almost at the same time I emitted a desperate cry, and after several waves of
infinite pleasure, we reached orgasm together.
"This is where I should be every day," he said.
I lowered my gaze and brought him to my mouth. He kissed me without caring about
the pain, about anything at all. We were together again, and that was all that mattered.

When I opened my eyes that morning, I felt tickles on my nose. N was running his
tongue on my face. I smiled and as I sat up, I noticed that I was alone in the room and
the light coming through the window was at an odd angle... I ran my hand over my
eyes, disoriented, trying to remember where I was, in which country, in which bed, and
how I had ended up there.
The sight of Nick shirtless and wearing sports pants at the door was the best sight I
could have had.
"Thank goodness, I was starting to worry," he commented, leaning his shoulder against
the doorframe.
I looked at the window, then at him, and then back at the window.
"What time is it?"
"It's seven," he answered, entering the room, "in the evening," he added with a smile.
My eyes widened in surprise.
"Are you kidding me?"
Nick sat next to me on the bed.
"You've slept for about fourteen hours or so."
Oh my goodness... my head was spinning, damn jet lag!
"God, I need to take a shower."
I got up from the bed and went straight to the bathroom. I looked terrible, so much so
that I locked the door, just in case Nicholas wanted to join me in the shower. Living with
him was going to be tough; in the mornings, he was not of this world, and I feared he
would fall out of love with me seeing me looking crazy every day. He looked like a
Greek god when he woke up; in fact, he was even more attractive with his sleepy face.
I got under the hot water and let it wet my hair again. I gradually woke up and shook off
that feeling of stupor as the water revived all my senses.
When I got out of the shower, I could only find one towel to wrap around myself. I
walked out dripping wet in search of my clothes, and then I heard the slamming of the
door, followed by some shouting.
"Where is she?!"
"Oh, shit, is it my mother?"
I tried to run back to the bathroom so she wouldn't catch me naked, but she intercepted
me halfway. We stood face to face, her expression was distorted, out of control.
"How dare you?!" she shouted. "How dare you disappear like that for hours?!"

I looked at her horrified. We had argued many times before, but I had never seen her
so angry. Nicholas appeared and stood right in front of me, blocking my view.
"Calm down, Raffaella. Noah hasn't done anything wrong."
I saw the muscles in his back as tense as guitar strings, and the already tense air
became suffocating.
"Step away from her, Nicholas," my mother ordered, unsuccessfully trying to maintain
her composure.
I took a step to the side, and my mother's furious eyes locked onto mine.
"Dress yourself right now and leave through that door."
I didn't know what to do, I was stunned to see her so out of control for the first time in
years.
"Noah is not going anywhere," Nick declared calmly. Then William appeared, who had
just come upstairs.
"What the hell is going on here?" he asked angrily, first looking at my mother and then
at us. "Who did this to you, Nicholas?" he inquired, looking in horror at the bruises on
his body.
"Your son is out of control, and I don't want him near Noah," my mother said. Suddenly,
she turned to Nick and with the same anger she had directed at me, she snapped,
"You're violent, you get into fights, you have low-class friends, and I won't tolerate you
dragging my daughter into all that shit! No way!"
"Mom, stop!" I yelled, restraining the urge to say something worse. "I'm sorry I didn't let
you know I was leaving, but you can't just barge in here and-"
"Of course I can, and I will continue to do so. You're my daughter, so pack your things,
dress up, and get in the damn car!"
"NO!" I shouted, feeling like a spoiled child but refusing to let her tell me what I could or
couldn't do. I was no longer a child.
"You were kidnapped, Noah!" my mother yelled in response. "You were kidnapped, and
today I thought something similar had happened again. I almost had a heart attack,"
she confessed, and her eyes filled with tears.
"I'm sorry, Mom," I repeated, and I truly meant it, but I couldn't lose my composure like
that anymore. "But soon you won't be able to know where I am all the time, you can't
react like this every time you don't know where I am."
My mother's gaze pierced mine.
"Dress up and let's go home," she pronounced each word slowly and without allowing
any argument.
I didn't want to leave, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I could see that my
mother was on the verge of a hysterical fit. I needed to create distance between her
and Nick, especially because I would soon have to tell her that I was moving in with
him.
"Wait for me in the car, I'll be down in a moment," I finally said. Nicholas, beside me, let
out a curse. My mother pretended not to hear it and went out into the hallway with
William. I heard the door close a second later.
"Don't go, Noah. If you leave, you're giving them the upper hand," Nicholas said
angrily.
"You've seen it yourself, either I leave or it will get worse."
He sighed, resigned.
"I can't wait for you to come here."
I was afraid to tell my mother.
"It won't be long now."
He held me tightly in his arms, and with my cheek against his chest, I couldn't help but
think that a part of me was lying to him.

18

NICK

When I saw her leaving, I felt the anger I had been holding back spill out like lava from
a volcano. I was so tired of all this shit... Raffaella's words kept echoing in my head.
"He's out of control, I don't want him near Noah."
I went straight to the kitchen to try to calm down.
"You're violent, you get into fights!"
I cursed the moment I had decided to help Lion.
"I won't tolerate you dragging my daughter into all that shit!"
I was going to have to change if I wanted things to work out with Noah. We were about
to take a big step, a decisive step in our relationship, and that would show everyone
that we were serious. That's why I was so eager for her to come live with me because
no one seemed to take us seriously. Sometimes it felt like the few people who knew the
truth were placing bets behind our backs to see how long it would take for us to break
up, to test how much pressure we could handle.
I picked up the phone from the countertop.
There was a message from Jenna.
"Lion is fine. We need to talk. You know damn well I don't believe a word of what you've
told me. I know you'll be with Noah, but I need to see you. Call me when you have a
moment."
I knew this was going to happen, and I also knew that it was relatively easy to lie to
Jenna. I could make up any bullshit, and she would buy it, but not in this case. Lion
was getting himself into quicksand, into territory too dangerous to ignore. Jenna
needed to know that Lion wasn't okay.
I sent her a message saying that we would meet in an hour and I jumped into the
shower. My body was a mess, and the wounds seemed to worsen as the hours went
by. I felt warmth as I remembered how Noah had cared for me, how she had healed
me, how she suffered seeing me hurt... No one had ever made me feel like that before.
My father would get angry when I came home with obvious signs of a fight, and it was
normal for him not to speak to me until the marks had disappeared. Sometimes, back
then, one of the main reasons I got into those kinds of problems was precisely that, to
annoy my father and keep him away from me.
I stepped out of the shower, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and took a pill before
heading out the door. Parked in the driveway was Noah's car.
Damn, her mother had forced her to go with them. I couldn't even imagine what they
were saying about me... I felt a knot in my stomach, hating that they were getting into
her head. My biggest fear was that Noah would eventually give in to her mother's will,
that she would finally see me as someone she shouldn't be with. Just then, another
message from Jenna came through.
"I'm arriving."
Shortly after, I parked at the Starbucks in the shopping mall, fifteen minutes away from
my house.
As I saw Jenna through the window, sitting on one of the sofas inside, I knew I had to
be very careful about how I approached things with my friend. When I entered, her
angry gaze pierced through me. I sat in front of her, trying not to show any signs of
pain, but her eyes were attentively watching every gesture on my face.
"You're complete idiots, you know that, right?" she said, leaving her drink, or whatever
that green liquid was, on the table.
"I don't know why you're surprised now," I replied simply. My blood was boiling because
I didn't want her to keep thinking I was the same Nick from a year ago. I had changed,
or at least that's what I wanted to believe; her boyfriend, on the other hand, was still an
idiot.
"Do you really think I'm going to buy that all of this was because of playing poker with
those idiots?" she blurted out, leaving me momentarily speechless. Poker? What the
hell was she talking about? "And knowing how bad you are at playing... you have to
stop hanging out with those gangs, Nicholas!"
Lion had fed her a lie... great!
"Look, Jenna, I assure you I'm not having a good day," I commented, trying not to get
angry and especially not to take it out on her. "Lion is old enough to know what he's
doing. He's worried about money, his workshop, and you," I added without looking
directly into her eyes. "He'll realize soon enough what's best for him. In the meantime,
you have to let him do his own thing. It's not easy to get out of all this. Besides, the
races are coming up soon, and you know that puts everyone on edge... Lion knows
what he needs to do."
"Races? I thought you were going to stay away from all that this year, Nicholas."
"Shit, I shouldn't have said anything, damn it!"
"And we are staying away, I meant that the gangs are on edge. What happened
yesterday was a stupid fight that ended worse than we thought. Don't worry."
She observed me with a furrowed brow, but she seemed to accept my explanation.
Then her eyes looked around, as if she realized something or someone was missing.
"Where's Noah?"
"She's not with me, as you can see," I said with annoyance.
Jenna grew even more serious than she already was.
"What have you done to her?"
I let out a bitter laugh.
"Do you quickly assume that I'm the one who has done something to her?"
Jenna's look was enough for me to realize that it wasn't just Noah's mother who
thought I wasn't good for her, and Jenna was usually the one who tended to take my
side.
"Pausing for a moment. I suppose my gaze was having a certain effect on her,
although she seemed to gather courage to continue speaking: 'If you keep this up, she
will eventually leave you.'
'Shut up.'
Jenna lowered her gaze, but she looked back into my eyes a second later.
'Noah is my best friend, and this past year she has told me things that I don't know if
you're aware of, but violence is something she can't bear. Your face, your wounds...
you know perfectly well what memories they awaken in her.'
'Damn it, it's not something I planned, okay?'
'Nicholas, listen up!' she raised her voice. 'Noah is not okay, she has nightmares.
Recently, my little brother hit me in the eye with one of those firecracker pellets, it
turned black and blue, and when Noah saw me, she almost freaked out, thinking I had
been beaten. That night she slept over at my place, and you should have seen how
she tossed and turned in the sheets. I didn't tell her, but I think she suspects that I
know because she never stays over anymore.'
I shook my head.
'I've slept with her a thousand times. She sleeps like a baby, so all of this is your
imagination. Noah is perfectly fine.'
I felt my blood boiling... I hadn't come all the way there to listen to this bullshit. Noah
was fine, yes, her wounds affected her, I knew that, damn it. That's why I didn't go to
pick her up at the airport, why I planned to stay away for several days so she wouldn't
see me in this state. But Noah didn't have nightmares, I would know. It was Jenna who
should be worried about her boyfriend, not me; it was Lion who was involved in drug
trafficking, all because Jenna wasn't aware that Lion's life and hers were completely
incompatible.
I stood up before saying something I would regret.
'I might have problems with Noah, Jenna, but yours with Lion are right there,' I
declared, looking her in the eyes. 'If I were you, I'd stop meddling where I'm not called
for and focus on your boyfriend.'
'My boyfriend is the way he is because of getting involved with you.'"
I let out all the air I was holding.
"Go to hell, Jenna," I said, and I stormed off.
After an hour of aimlessly driving around, thinking about everything Jenna had told me,
everything Noah's mother had said... I came to the conclusion that I had to turn a deaf
ear. I couldn't expect anything different from the people around me. I had managed to
create that image of myself, and changing it was going to be difficult. It was taking me
a lifetime for others to take me seriously. However, despite Noah still distrusting me, I
knew that she believed I could improve. Noah loved me, she was in love with me. I
knew she didn't think like Jenna or her mother, and she would never say the things
they had said to me. I had shown her that I could be better...
I parked the car by the beach and started walking along the shore as the sun set on the
horizon. There were people walking their dogs and the occasional couple taking
advantage of the solitude of the area. I let the sound of the waves calm me, letting all
my fears and insecurities about my relationship with Noah return to the place where I
had hidden them so well.
Some time later, when I thought my emotions were under control, my phone rang. I
answered without even looking at who was calling, thinking it might be Noah. There
was silence on the other end of the line.
"Hello, Nicholas."
It couldn't be true. Out of all people...
"What the hell do you want, and why are you calling my mobile?"
"I'm your mother, and I needed to talk to you."
Madison appeared in my mind, and I had to stop walking, my heart in my throat.
"Has something happened to my sister?"
"No, no, Maddie is fine," Anabel replied.
"Then we have nothing to talk about."
I was about to hang up.
"Wait, Nicholas!" she pleaded, and I waited without saying a word.
"What the hell do you want?" I repeated.
There was a silence for a few seconds before she responded.
"I want to talk to you. Just for an hour, at a café. There are so many things left
unresolved, and I can't bear to see you living your life, hating me the way you do."
"I hate you because you abandoned me. There's nothing more to say." I hung up
before hearing her reaction.
All the anger I had been containing resurfaced. My mother was the worst thing that had
happened to me in my life. I was the way I was because of her. My relationship with
Noah would have been completely different if I had had a good role model to emulate. I
would have known how to treat women, how to trust them. Anabel Grason had
absolutely nothing to say to me, nothing to talk about with me... And now she called
because she wanted to see me?
The tension that had been building up the entire damn month, all the fights, the
insecurities, how sad and alone I had felt without Noah, how I had let her down by not
being at the airport as she wanted... It overwhelmed me. I ran like a madman along the
beach until I managed to clear my mind.
19

NOAH

The journey back home was accompanied by an uncomfortable silence.

As soon as Will parked at the entrance, I got out of the car and rushed inside. I didn't
want to talk to my mother; in fact, I didn't want to talk to anyone. Since I had arrived,
everything had gone wrong: not seeing Nick at the airport, finding him in that sorry
state, the argument we had, then the fight with my mother, and hearing firsthand what
she thought of Nicholas... I needed to distance myself from everyone; I needed space.
When I entered my room, the first thing I saw was a large envelope on the bed—it was
from the university. I opened it and felt a knot in my stomach as I saw the papers
regarding the dormitory. When I had submitted my application months ago, I had
checked the option to have a roommate; that had been the plan from the beginning, to
live with a roommate in one of the campus residences. But now everything had
changed; I had decided to live with Nicholas. I needed to call the university and clarify
the situation.
I dreaded the moment of telling my mother. She was going to kill me, and a part of me,
the part that was still a child, was scared to reveal that I would be sharing an apartment
with my boyfriend in my first year of university.
I couldn't believe that I would be leaving two weeks later... I wished I could pack my
bags right at that moment and leave, but I still had to endure a few more days. My
mother needed to learn to be without me. Besides, I was sure that William wanted to
live alone with her, as since we had arrived, we had only caused problems, especially
me.
I gathered all the papers and put them in the drawer of my desk. I put on my pajamas
even though I wasn't sleepy, as I had been sleeping for hours, and got into bed,
determined not to think about anything.
Of course, falling asleep was difficult, and when I did, the nightmares returned. I knew I
was searching for Nick among the sheets of my bed. I knew that as soon as I felt him
next to me, my fears would disappear, but he wasn't there with me, he wasn't there to
protect me...
The sun shone brilliantly; for a moment, I didn't know where I was, but I quickly placed
myself in the dream I was having.
My father was with me.
"There are times in life, Noah, when people will do things you don't like... for example,
when mommy doesn't do what daddy tells her, daddy punishes her, right?" my father
posed the question as we sat together by the sea, watching the waves crash against
the cliff.
I nodded, listening to my father. I always said yes to everything he asked me, and it
was easy because his questions were almost always rhetorical. I didn't need to think
about the correct answer because it was always implicit in the question.
"That's because your mother doesn't know what's good for her, she doesn't understand
that only I know what's best for her."
My father put his arm around my waist and seated me on his lap.
"You are my girl, Noah, you are my little one, and you will always do as I tell you,
right?"
I nodded, looking into my father's eyes, the same eyes as mine, the same honey color,
except his were reddened from alcohol.
"Then tell me, the next time I order you to step aside, to leave your mother where she
is, what will you do?"
"I'll go to my room," I whispered almost inaudibly.
My father nodded, satisfied.
"Never disobey me, little one... I don't want to do something I might regret later... not
with you, after all, you and I are connected, aren't we?"
I nodded and smiled as my father picked up a rope from the ground and started
weaving it quickly and skillfully.
"This will always be our bond, so strong that no one will ever be able to break it.
I looked at the figure-eight knot that my father had forced me to tie over and over
again...
He wouldn't stop until it was perfect.
The next day, I woke up with dark circles under my eyes. It had been a horrible night,
and breakfast only added to the discomfort. William ate his meal without saying a word,
and my mother gave me a disapproving look while flipping through the newspaper,
barely reading a single line. A wicked part of my brain imagined what it would be like to
drop the bomb that I was going to live with Nicholas right at that moment, but the
nerves almost made me vomit just thinking about it.
I was grateful when my phone started ringing. I had been waiting for Nicholas to call,
so I left the kitchen, ignoring my mother's reproachful gaze, and answered the call.
"Hello?"
"Is this Noah Morgan?" a woman's voice asked on the other end of the line.
"Yes, who is this?" I replied, climbing the stairs two at a time.
There was a brief silence that made me stop at the door of my room.
"I'm Anabel Grason, Nicholas's mother."
Then it was my turn to remain silent. Anabel, the same woman who was partly
responsible for my problems, for my own issues and for the person I loved dearly, the
same person my boyfriend wanted nothing to do with.
"What do you want?" I asked, closing myself inside my room.
There was a few seconds of silence followed by a sigh.
"I need to ask you for a favor," she finally responded on the other end of the line. "I
know Nicholas doesn't want to see me, but this is ridiculous. I need to talk to him, and
you can help me. You're his girlfriend, aren't you?"
Her tone of voice was so kind that it made me suspicious. I sat on the bed, suddenly
becoming nervous.
"I'm not going to do anything that Nick doesn't want. This is something you two need to
figure out. I'm sorry, Mrs. Grason, but as you can understand, I'm not a fan of yours,
and honestly, I believe Nicholas is better off without you."
There, I had said it. I wasn't going to back down. That woman had abandoned him,
Nick, my twelve-year-old Nicholas, she left him alone with a father who was too busy
building an empire. She left a child without any explanation, and now she wanted to
mend the relationship? This woman was out of her mind.
"I'm his mother, it's impossible for him to be better off without me. Things have
changed, and I want to see him again."
I wasn't going to give in. I had already tried talking to Nick about this, and he made it
very clear that I should stay out of it. The topic of Anabel was a definite no for him, and
I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't change his mind.
"I'm sorry, but Nicholas is adamant about it. He doesn't want to see you, Mrs. Grason."
"Then meet me, just you and me. Nicholas doesn't have to find out. We can meet
wherever you want."
What? I couldn't do that. Nicholas would be furious. He would feel betrayed if I talked
about him to the woman he hated the most, the woman who had caused him so much
pain... Not in a million years.
"You don't understand, I don't want to see you, and I'm not going to lie to Nicholas."
I was being firm and clear. I guess all my stress from the past few days was coming to
the surface. Plus, I felt the need to defend my boyfriend, to prevent anyone from
hurting him, including myself.
I heard Anabel take a deep breath before speaking again.
"Things are like this," she said, changing her tone to a rather unpleasant one. "My
six-year-old daughter has a father who spends half of the week traveling the world. I
can't be with her all the time, and I know Nicholas wants her to stay at his apartment
for a few weeks. I have no problem with it, but my husband doesn't want to hear about
it. If you do what I'm asking, if you meet with me and help me find a way to mend the
relationship with my son, I'll allow Nicholas to take Madison when my husband is not
around. But if you don't help me, I'll do everything in my power to make sure Nicholas
never sees his sister again."
Damn it. Maddie meant everything to Nicholas. I couldn't believe this woman was
threatening me with something like that. Was that the kind of relationship she wanted
to have with her son? One based on deceit and blackmail? I felt my blood boil with
anger. I wanted to hang up the phone and make it clear to her what I thought of her
proposal, but it was Maddie we were talking about. If it were up to Nicholas, he would
even take her to live with him. We had talked to lawyers, her father had tried to have
her for a few weeks, but there was no way around it: if her mother didn't want to, there
was nothing we could do... I knew I was walking into the lion's den, that I would regret
this, but I couldn't allow that woman to separate Maddie from Nick.
"Where do you want us to meet?" I asked, hating myself for letting that woman
manipulate me.
I could almost see her smiling on the other end of the line.
"I'll let Nicholas know that he can have Maddie next week. We'll meet when I bring her.
Don't worry, it will be our secret, no one needs to know."
"I don't want to lie to him, and I'll end up telling him. I assure you he won't be pleased.
What you're doing, blackmailing me, will have the opposite effect of what you expect.
Nicholas isn't one to forgive easily, and you're the person who has hurt him the most in
his life."
Anabel Grason took a few seconds before responding to me.
"You haven't heard all versions of the story, Noah. Things are not always as you think
or as they are told to you."
I didn't want to continue talking to that woman.
"Send me the address of the place where you want us to meet."
I hung up without waiting for her response and collapsed onto the bed, staring at the
ceiling and feeling more guilty than ever before in my life.
After a while, my mother came to find me and told me that she and Will were going to a
charity gala on the other side of the city that night and wouldn't be home. She
suggested inviting Jenna over so I wouldn't be alone, and I nodded without paying
much attention. It was Nick I wanted to invite to spend the night, but a part of me
feared calling him and him sensing that I was hiding something. I spent the rest of the
day torn in my heart, but as he didn't call either, in the end, I resigned myself to
spending another night alone with my nightmares and went to bed.

20

NICK

After Raffaella's words, the conversation with Jenna, and my mother's call, I spent a
couple of days completely blocked. What scared me the most was that they could be
right. I wasn't a perfect boyfriend. Damn it, not long ago, I hadn't been anyone's
boyfriend! When my mother left me, I swore that I would never feel anything for anyone
again, I would never give anyone the power to hurt me. I refused to feel rejection again.
But everything had changed with Noah, and a part of me died at the thought that
something could go wrong, that she wouldn't be okay with me and would end up doing
the same thing as my mother: leaving me.
The fact that she didn't call me during those two days didn't help calm my thoughts,
quite the opposite. I couldn't understand why Noah hadn't called me to come see her. I
found out from my boss that my father was leaving for the other side of the city, and a
single call confirmed that it was true and that Raffaella was going with him, leaving
Noah home alone. I can't deny that I was initially annoyed, but as night fell, Jenna's
words came to mind: "Noah is not okay, she has nightmares." The only way to get
those thoughts out of my head was to prove to her that it wasn't true, so I grabbed my
keys and left.
The room was in darkness, and she tossed beneath the blankets. I hurried to switch on
the light, but it didn't come on. Damn, the power was out.
I approached Noah, and as I saw her up close, I noticed her cheeks were wet with
tears. Her hands clenched tightly, with her nails digging into her palms, causing one of
them to bleed. I watched her in complete disbelief. Ignoring the alarm that went off
inside me, I sat down beside her.
"Noah, wake up," I pleaded, gently brushing the hair away from her tear-streaked face.
It didn't do any good; she was still asleep, moving as if a part of her wanted to escape
whatever she was dreaming, whatever was causing her such despair and fear.
I shook her, first softly and then more insistently, but she didn't seem willing to wake up.
"Noah," I called, leaning closer to her ear, "It's Nicholas, wake up, I'm here."
She made a sound, and I watched as her hands clenched into fists, squeezing even
harder against her skin, causing herself pain. Damn it!
"Noah!" I said, raising my voice.
Then her eyes flew open. She was utterly horrified. The only other time I had seen her
like this was when those bastards at her school had locked her in a dark closet. Her
eyes scanned the room, finally settling on me, and in that moment, it seemed she
understood that whatever she had dreamt was just that, a nightmare. She threw herself
into my arms, and I could feel her heart pounding wildly in her chest.
"It's okay, freckles," I reassured her, holding her tightly. "I'm here, it was just a bad
dream."
Noah buried her face in my neck, and panic swept over me as her body began to
tremble, accompanied by sobs that tore at my soul. What the hell was happening? I
held her and sat her on my lap, needing her to look at me, needing to understand what
was going on with her.
"Noah, what's happening to you?" I asked, trying to hide the fear in my voice. "Noah,
Noah, stop!" I ordered her when my question seemed to make things worse. It had
been a long time since I had seen her cry like this.
I pulled her back and cupped her face in my hands. Her eyes avoided mine for a few
seconds, but I took her chin and forced her to look at me.
"How long have you been having these nightmares?" I asked, realizing then that what
Jenna had said was true: Noah wasn't okay. I cursed myself for thinking that both my
past and hers were behind us.
"It's just been this one time," she replied, her voice breaking. "I don't know what's
happening to me..."
I wiped away her tears with my knuckles, and upon hearing her, I immediately knew
she was lying.
"Noah, you can tell me," I said, hating to discover that she didn't trust me.
She shook her head and seemed to start calming down.
"I'm glad you're here," she whispered.
"Really?" I asked, still not understanding why she hadn't called me.
Noah looked back at me, furrowing her brow.
"Of course..." she affirmed, resting her cheek in my hand and looking at me as if she
truly believed what she was saying. "I'm sorry about what my mother said. You know
it's not true," she murmured, raising her arms and placing them around my neck.
I watched her uncertainly. I didn't care what her mother thought; what concerned me
was knowing that Jenna was right, that Noah wasn't well, and on top of that, she didn't
trust me enough to be honest about what was happening to her...
I took her hand and placed it between us, showing her the wounds on her palms. She
lowered her gaze, momentarily stunned but not at all surprised. It had happened to her
more than once.
"Is it because of me?" I asked, struggling to maintain my composure, trying to set aside
all the things that caused Noah to relive bad memories from her childhood... My face
still bore the marks of the beatings I had endured when she returned from Europe. I
was a constant reminder that violence hadn't disappeared from her life, and I had to
control myself from leaving right there and then because it was clear that my presence
did more harm than good to her.
"Of course not," she responded automatically. "Nicholas, don't make it more important
than it is. I just had a nightmare, and..."
"It wasn't just a nightmare, Noah," I interjected, trying to control my temper. "You should
have seen yourself. It looked like you were being tortured... Tell me what you were
dreaming, please, because I know this has happened more than once."
Her eyes widened in surprise at hearing me say that. She stood up and took a few
steps away from me.
"It was only once," she asserted, turning her back to me.
I got up from the bed.
"Bullshit it was only once, Noah!" I snapped.
Why was she lying to me?
"Nick!" she exclaimed, turning back. We were surrounded by darkness, with only the
faint light from the window illuminating her. "This has nothing to do with you."
I wanted to believe her; in fact, a part of me knew that it had to do with what had
happened to her as a child. I just thought it was all over after her bastard of a father
died. Discovering that there were still demons haunting her was killing me. I
approached her, trying to calm myself down and calm her down. She looked at me with
distrust, but allowed me to get closer.
"Listen to me," I said, placing my hands on her shoulders. "When you're ready, I want
you to tell me. And I hate that the moment isn't right now. You know I'm here for you,
Noah. I hate seeing you like this, I just want to know what I need to do to make you feel
better."
Her eyes welled up with tears. Noah had cried more in these past two months than I
could have ever imagined... she never used to cry before... and, to be honest, I didn't
know which was worse.
I pulled her towards me and held her tightly in my arms. She was so small compared to
me... I hated that there was something tormenting her. She pulled back slightly and
with her hands on my face, she forced me to lower my gaze and meet hers.
"Stop thinking that this is your fault, Nick," she whispered, her eyes moist with tears but
always dazzling. When we looked at each other like this, I felt like I was part of
something unique, that she belonged to me—I would kill for that gaze. "You're the only
one who brings peace to my life. You're the only one I feel safe with."
"But what are you afraid of?" I couldn't help but ask.
Her gaze changed, and I saw how that transparency from moments before became
obscured by the wall that kept rising between us, no matter how many times I tried to
tear it down—it always stood strong whenever certain topics came up.
But I couldn't insist on the matter, nor could I wait for her to answer, because the sound
of something breaking on the floor below startled both of us.
"What was that?" Noah murmured, her gaze shifting towards the door, fear once again
etched on her face.
I turned around, positioning myself between her and the door. It was probably Steve or
Prett.
"Who else is in the house?" I questioned, maintaining my calm.
Silence fell for a moment.
"Just us," Noah replied, and I felt her press against my back.
"Shit."

21

NOAH

Although hearing something break on the floor below had left me petrified with fear, for
a moment I was grateful for the interruption.
"What are you afraid of?"
That question was so complicated, it encompassed so many aspects of my life and
could be answered in so many different ways that it made it the worst question
someone could ask me, especially if it was Nicholas asking. If I started blurting out all
the fears that still lingered in my mind, I could get myself into a lot of trouble because
there were things that were better left buried deep down, even if some of them insisted
on resurfacing and ruining my life.
"Tell me you set the alarm, Noah," Nicholas asked, approaching the closed door and
opening it slightly to peek out silently and listen attentively.
"Do we have an alarm?" I asked, feeling like an idiot and starting to get really scared.
Nicholas glared at me.
"Damn it, Noah!" he exclaimed simply and went out into the hallway, signaling for me to
stay put where I was.
I ignored him and clung to him, listening intently. For a few seconds, there was nothing
but our breaths, but then we heard voices... male voices.
Nicholas turned quickly, grabbed my arm, and hurried back into the room. I looked at
him in terror as he put his finger to his lips, indicating for me to stay quiet.
"Give me your phone," he whispered, trying to appear calm, although I could see it was
taking a toll on him.
I nodded and cursed under my breath a second later.
"Damn it, I left it in the pool!" I lamented quietly.
How could I be so stupid? I always had my phone with me, and now that we needed it,
I left it outside in the garden.
"Well, mine is downstairs, on the table next to the door," he said.
His brain started working quickly.
"Listen to me," he said, taking my face in his hands. "I want you to stay here." I shook
my head. "Damn it, Noah, stay here. I'll go get the phone from my dad's room and call
911!"
"No, no, stay with me," I pleaded desperately.
God! I was so scared... I had never been involved in a robbery or anything like it
before; the kidnapping had been horrible, true, but that didn't mean I had become
stronger in dealing with these types of situations. On the contrary, I was even more
afraid, my hands trembling.
"Nicholas, they've cut the power, there won't be a phone line," I realized.
Before he could respond, we heard the voices again, this time closer. Nicholas silenced
me by placing a hand over my mouth, and then we clearly heard the voices of two guys
coming up the stairs.
We remained silent for what felt like an eternal minute until it seemed like the voices
were moving away. That meant instead of continuing down our hallway, they were
heading towards our parents' room.
Nick turned to me, observed me for a moment, and whatever he saw on my face made
it clear that no matter what he did, he would have to take me with him.
"Stand behind me and stay quiet," he warned me. Then he opened the door and
stepped out into the darkness of the hallway. It overwhelmed me, and once again, I
found myself in dimly lit situations that were better left forgotten, only fueling my fear of
the dark. If I thought about it, there was nothing good that happened in the dark... well,
only one thing, but it wasn't the time to think about that.
Luckily, Nicholas's room was just across the hallway. We hurried inside, and he locked
the door. I stood still in the middle of the room, watching him rummage through his
closet. Then he pulled out a case from a kind of safe.
"What do you have there?" I asked, feeling the fear making it difficult for me to breathe.
"Nothing," he replied as he approached the window and opened it. He leaned out, and
as he did, I saw what was sticking out from the top of his jeans.
"What the hell are you doing with a gun, Nicholas?!" I had to muster all my self-control
to keep my voice low.
He turned to look at me seriously.
"I want you to climb down through this window, Noah," he ordered, ignoring my
question. "The tree has plenty of branches, it won't be difficult for you."
Tears threatened to roll down my cheeks once again. I looked at him, shaking my
head... I couldn't risk it, I couldn't fall out of a window again... no, I simply couldn't do it.
"Nicholas, I can't," I confessed in an almost inaudible whisper, choked by my tears.
Why was fate determined to make me relive things I desperately wanted to leave
behind?
"Why not?" he asked incredulously, observing me as if I were crazy, as if I weren't
aware that we were in danger, that we were in a millionaire's house, and not just any
millionaire, that the power was cut, and that indicated they had been planning this for a
while because they must have known William would be away, just like me and the staff.
I simply stared back at him, and soon understanding lit up his face. He approached me
and held my face in his hands.
"Noah, this is not like jumping out of a window, love," he said calmly, although his eyes
briefly shifted to the room's door for an imperceptible second. "I climbed down that tree
thousands of times when I was a kid. You won't fall, you won't get hurt."
I knew what he was saying made sense, but I was paralyzed by fear. Windows,
jumping out of them... the consequences of having jumped out of one in the past had
been devastating for me. My hands instinctively landed on my abdomen, right where
the scar was.
Nicholas saw it, followed my gesture with his eyes, and I saw sadness cross his face,
although he tried to hide it as best as he could. That topic was taboo for now, I didn't
talk about it, he didn't talk about it... although we would have to address it in the near
future.
"Please, Noah, do it for me," he pleaded desperately. "I can't let them hurt you again."
I tried to put myself in his shoes... if something happened to me, or if the intruders saw
us, I had no idea what could happen. Suddenly, I felt fear for Nicholas. I knew him well,
and I was sure that at that very moment, he was restraining himself from going out
there and putting himself in danger. The fact that he was still there with me meant only
one thing: I mattered to him more than whatever those people could do or steal.
"You go down first, and I'll follow," I instructed him, trying to control my emotions. I
knew that if I went down first, Nicholas would most likely go after them, and seeing that
he had a gun, the fear of something happening to him outweighed any other fear I had
harbored until that moment.
He stared at me intensely with his clear eyes, and I knew I had hit the mark. His
intention had not been to go down that window with me.
"Sometimes I feel like strangling you," he threatened, although he then gave me a
quick kiss on the lips.
I was grateful that the house was large enough for our whispers not to be overheard as
we spoke.

Nicholas climbed out of the window with ease, and I approached to watch him
descend. The tree was about three meters high from the ground. As I peered out,
memories of my accident came rushing back to haunt me. When I had jumped out of
that window, I hadn't even had time to process what I was doing... I remember being so
scared that nothing seemed to matter more than getting myself out of that hell of
darkness and abuse. My father had turned into the same monster all children fear
when they're young, except this time there was no mother to tell me it had all been a
nightmare. The monster had been real, and I had to jump to escape him.
Nick quickly reached the grass below and gestured for me to hurry after him. I looked
back fearfully when I heard a noise from the other side of the room. Without thinking, I
swung my legs out of the window and held onto the branches. I needed to get down
before we were seen. Seeing Nick below, ready to catch me if I fell, helped calm me
down. When he embraced me a few minutes later, I felt like I could breathe again.
"Let's go," he said, pulling me toward the backyard. "Where is your phone?"
Both of us looked in every direction, afraid that someone would appear in the darkness
of the night.
Thankfully, my phone was right where I had left it, on a sun lounger. But it wasn't just
that we found. Thor, the dog we both adored, was lying by the pool just a meter away. I
hadn't realized that we hadn't heard him bark, and a knot of fear formed in my
stomach. Nicholas ran towards him and placed his ear on the animal's chest. I covered
my mouth to suppress my horror.
"He's alive," he declared, and I released the breath I had been holding. I approached
and knelt by Thor's side. The dog was breathing steadily, as if he were sleeping, and
showed no signs of being injured.
"They must have sedated him with some tranquilizer," Nick commented, running his
hand over the dog's head.
I leaned toward him and kissed his furry neck.
"Come on, Noah, we might be seen," Nick said, pulling my hand and forcing me to
leave Thor behind.
Nick took the phone and dragged me until we reached the back of the house, by the
pool. He pulled me until my back was against the wall and positioned himself in front of
me, clearly protecting me with his body. Being in that position and situation reminded
me of my birthday party, and I thought about the irony of having to hide there again so
that we wouldn't be seen.
His eyes didn't leave mine as he dialed the emergency number. Nicholas explained
what was happening, that intruders had entered our house and where we were hiding.
He was informed that a patrol car was on its way and that we should stay where we
were. When he hung up, he hugged me and kissed the top of my head.
"Are you okay?" he asked, leaning back slightly to look at my face. "They won't see us
here, nothing is going to happen to you."
I was in such a state of intense nerves that I felt my hands beginning to tremble. The
nightmare, knowing that Nicholas had heard me, what he had said afterward, and
having to jump out of that window... I wanted to curl up on the floor and wait for
everything to return to normal. I needed to escape from the bad memories.
"Can you give me a kiss?" I said, avoiding answering his question. Adrenaline was
coursing through my veins, and I wouldn't calm down until I saw the police arrive.
He seemed puzzled by my request, but he leaned in anyway, placing his lips on mine.
His intention had been to give me a simple kiss, but I intertwined my fingers behind his
neck and encouraged him to deepen it. Nicholas lifted me up and pressed me against
the wall. I knew what was happening, all the pent-up frustration since the day we had
seen each other again after a month apart, the fight with my mother, the doubts...
everything was resolving itself in that moment.
Nick slowed down the kiss when he sensed that things were getting out of hand, and I
held him close, allowing him to stay pressed against me. My hands touched something
on the waistband of his jeans, and then he took a step back, completely separating
himself from me.
For a moment, we looked at each other in silence, our lungs working frantically. I saw
him take something out from his back and readjust it so it wouldn't bother him. I
trembled when I saw the silver gun.
"You shouldn't have that," I warned him as he stepped away.
Before he could respond, we heard the sirens of the police cars. He approached me
and took my face in his hands.
"Now, please, don't leave my side," he said.
I nodded and took his hand as we prepared to face what awaited us outside.
Nicholas never left my side for a moment. When we emerged from our hiding place, we
found two patrol cars; a commotion had formed at the front door, and some fearful
neighbors had gathered to inquire about what had happened. Two individuals had
attempted to rob our house, but they were caught red-handed and couldn't escape.
The worst part was that they were armed, which reminded me that Nick was armed as
well.
I silently watched him as he spoke with the police, explaining everything that had
happened and how we had climbed down the window. The officers took notes in their
notepads and told us that we needed to go to the police station to give a statement.
"Mr. Leister can do that tomorrow," the officer pointed out, looking at me with concern.
"Perhaps it's better for both of you to rest for now."
"I hope they rot in jail," Nicholas declared, averting his gaze from the officer to the
patrol car leaving our house at that moment.
After that, and after several courteous conversations with the neighbors, the police left,
along with everyone else. I called my mother to tell her what had happened.
"Tell Nick to stay at your place tonight," she requested, surprising me. I felt a warmth
and gratitude in my long-forgotten stomach. "We'll be there as soon as possible."
When I hung up, Nick pulled me inside, locked the door, and dialed a number for the
alarm system that I didn't know existed. He explained how to activate it and where it
was located. As for me, I vowed never to leave it deactivated again.
"Let's go to bed," he said, taking my hand and leading me upstairs.
We went up to his room, and he gave me a clean pajama shirt. We both changed in
silence, completely absorbed in our thoughts.
"If I hadn't decided to come..." he suddenly commented, and I saw fear cross his face.
The images that had passed through my mind earlier were now reflected in his. "That's
why I want us to live together, to protect you, to be there whenever you need me."
Now it was so clear to me... The sense of security he conveyed, how good I felt when I
knew he was there. What he said was true—I needed him, I trusted him. He was the
cure for my nightmares; he chased away my demons.
"I'll tell my mother, Nick, I promise," I assured him, dispelling any doubts that might
have lingered in my mind. It was clear now—I had to be with Nicholas. A genuine smile
appeared on his face; he kissed me on the lips and hugged me tightly. It felt strange to
be there, in his room. We had shared only a few moments within those four walls
because he had moved out shortly after we started dating. But I remembered the first
time we slept together... how nervous I was and how beautiful it had been. He had
treated me as if I were fragile... now our relationship was so different, so unique... as
time passed, everything seemed to intensify, as if we needed more but didn't know how
to handle it.
"Come," he simply instructed.
I did as he asked, climbed into his bed, and nestled under the blankets. I clung to him
like a magnet, allowing him to embrace me, and rested my head on his chest. Nicholas
turned off the light, and the last thing I remember is that I was dreaming, but this time
about something much more beautiful: him.

22

NICK

"I woke up with Noah whispering in my ear.

'Nick,' she said in a low voice, 'wake up.'
I didn't open my eyes, I just grunted, and in response, her tongue began to gently and
seductively trace my jawline.
'Oh, shit.'
'Nick,' she repeated as her hand descended down my chest and lingered lightly on the
dark hair that trailed up to my navel.
I shivered but decided to play along.
'I'm exhausted, freckles. If you want something, you'll have to make more effort.'
Noah didn't usually try to get my attention like this; in fact, it was almost always me
who would pounce on her whenever I could, so I liked this role reversal.
'Then I'll have to find someone else,' she said, releasing those words and immediately
capturing my attention, putting me on alert. I felt her move away, so I opened my eyes
and positioned myself on top of her so quickly that she wouldn't have been able to
escape even if she had wanted to. I pressed firmly against her body and enjoyed the
friction of my erection against the soft fabric of her underwear.
Noah took a deep breath and locked her eyes with mine. I slipped my hand under her
shirt and gently squeezed one of her bare breasts.
'We've barely slept, freckles,' I said, caressing her as my lips sweetly buried
themselves in her neck. 'What's the meaning of this morning assault?'
'I'm exercising your duty as a boyfriend,' she replied, moving her hips upward and
sighing breathlessly against my bare shoulder."
"You can make use of my duty as a boyfriend whenever you want, but for now, stay
still," I ordered, immobilizing her on the bed. God, she felt so small beneath me...! I
wanted to devour her with slow kisses until she couldn't even remember her own
name. "You're aware that our parents might have arrived already, right?"
I couldn't care less about our parents, but I wanted her to wait a little longer before
giving her what she wanted. In response to my question, she wrapped her legs around
my waist and pressed herself gently against me.
"Since when do you care about that?" she replied, annoyed.
I smiled in the dim light, and before I knew it, her hand reached down to my pants. She
tried to slip it inside, but I stopped her before she could push me over the edge.
"If I recall correctly, it was you who took the lead last time, freckles, and now you're
trying to do the same. Who gave you permission?"
"Permission?" she repeated, raising her eyebrows. "In the end, you'll end up without
sex for being so clever."
I laughed, burying my face in her shoulder, and I bit her, losing control for a moment.
"You won't regret waking me up, love," I assured her, removing her pajamas and
caressing her body until I positioned myself exactly where I wanted to be. I sweetly
kissed her legs and thighs, counting to ten, trying to maintain control. Noah shifted
restlessly, sighing silently, and I felt her hands grip the sheets tightly, confirming that
what I had said was about to become a reality. "Look at me," I asked her.
Once our eyes met, I couldn't look away for a single moment.
"God...!" she exclaimed.
"Do you like it?" I asked her, and then I heard a noise behind the door.
I cursed under my breath and positioned myself on top of Noah, covering both of us
completely with my body, and I pulled the comforter over us.
"But what are you doing?! I was about to..." I covered her mouth with my hand just as
the door to my room creaked open.

"Nicholas?" Raffaella's voice asked in the dim light.

Damn it!
"I was sleeping, Raffaella," I replied, trying not to sound too flustered. Noah tensed
beneath my body, like a board.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to thank you for staying with Noah."
I pressed my body tightly against Noah's, and I felt her tremble as she instinctively
responded. Her eyes shut tightly.
"You're welcome. I wouldn't have left her alone," I asserted, smiling in the darkness and
caressing her with my hand. She looked at me alarmed, and I had to muster all my
self-control not to burst out laughing.
"I know," Raffaella stated calmly. "Well, I'll let you sleep. Your father and I would like to
have breakfast together with everyone today. I'll go wake up Noah."
"Great," I replied, wincing in pain as I felt Noah's teeth sink savagely into my arm. Her
mother finally closed the door, and she slapped my shoulder hard.
"Idiot!" she scolded me, angry.
I laughed again and silenced her with a kiss. I slid my tongue between her tightly
pressed lips and savored her completely while my fingers continued to play with her
skin. Her anger disappeared as quickly as the movements of my hand.
"You're an asshole," she said, squeezing her eyes shut and enjoying my attentions.
"An asshole who got lucky. Come here," I motioned to her as I removed my underwear
and, without waiting any longer, embraced her tightly. I growled into the pillow as I felt
her against me. Noah mumbled something unintelligible, and I started moving without
wasting any time.
"Please, Nicholas, I need to finish..." she whispered, holding me so tightly that her nails
dug into my back. I had left her hanging earlier, so I resumed caressing her while I
continued moving beneath her body.
When I felt her sigh, I paused for a few seconds, focusing on prolonging the moment
and not climaxing with her.
I covered her mouth with my hand to prevent anyone from hearing her, and I started
again, this time going slower, hoping she would recover.
There was nothing that could compare to feeling her like this, with no barriers, skin
against skin. Ever since Noah started taking birth control pills, it was pure bliss.
"One more time, Noah," I requested, gradually increasing the pace. "Let's do it
together."
And we did... together, we reached that spectacular release that left us exhausted for
minutes. We lay still on the bed, breathing heavily and trying to catch our breath.
"This is what happens when you ambush me in the mornings," I commented by her
neck.
"I'll remember that next time."
Months had passed since the last time I had breakfast with my father in the kitchen. I
think it was shortly after Noah came back from the hospital after the kidnapping.
Repeating it felt incredibly strange. Raffaella was there too, so we had a family
breakfast.
I didn't want them to see how much I didn't want to be there; besides, it saddened
Noah when she saw me upset with her mother, so I tried to appear calm. Noah was
beside me, playing with her cereal rather than eating it. The radio was playing in the
background, as always, and when my father and Raffaella sat across from us, I knew
that this breakfast was more than just a family meal.
"Well..." my father began, his eyes alternating between Noah and me. "How's
everything going? Noah, you'll be heading to college soon. Do you have everything
prepared?"
"Nah, I haven't even started," she replied, stuffing a huge spoonful of cereal into her
mouth.
I tensed up when I realized she didn't mention anything about coming to live with me...
This moment was as good as any, but she didn't give any indication that it was her
intention.
"Do you already know who your roommate will be?" her mother asked, and she almost
choked. I reached out my hand and started gently patting her back.
"Not yet," she replied with a raspy voice.
Damn, I wanted to get out of that kitchen.
Raffaella looked at my father, and then they both focused on us.
"We wanted to talk to you," he began. "I suppose we haven't been behaving like a
family these past few months... We've had several conflicts, and we wanted to address
the issues so that we can all get along a little better."
I didn't expect that. I fixed my gaze on my father and set the coffee cup on the table. I
was all ears.
"Are you finally going to accept that we're together?" I posed the question without
hesitation.
Raffaella straightened up in her chair, and my father gave her a warning look.
"We accept that you're young and attracted to each other, and that..." Raffaella started.
"We love each other, Mom, I think that's more than just being attracted," Noah
intervened in the conversation.
Her mother pressed her lips together and nodded.
"I understand, Noah, really, I know you think I've been making your life miserable and
that I don't accept your relationship, and you may be right... but you're very young, and
nearly five years of age difference is a lot, especially when you've just turned eighteen,
Noah," she emphasized, focusing only on her. "I only ask that you take things slowly.
Nick, I hope you understand that my daughter has many things to experience, she's
about to start college, and I want her to explore and have fun, to make the most of
what I could never have dreamed of giving her."
I tensed up, feeling anger simmering slowly.
"Are you saying that she doesn't have fun with me, that I won't let her enjoy college?"
—He is saying that you shouldn't center your lives solely around each other, that you
have many things to see and do yet. We don't want you to rush into things too quickly,"
my father intervened, trying to calm the waters. "Anyway, what we wanted to propose is
a sort of agreement, a peace treaty, if you will. What do you think?"
"I'm not going to agree to anything. Noah is my girlfriend, and there's nothing more to
discuss or negotiate," I retorted.
My father took a deep breath, and I knew he was holding back the urge to start ranting.
"Well, then we need you to do us a favor, and in return, we promise not to interfere in
your relationship anymore."
"What kind of favor?" I cut in, wanting to get to the point already.
My father seemed to be weighing how to formulate his request.
"In one month, Leister Enterprises will celebrate its sixtieth anniversary. We're throwing
a party, and all sorts of people will be attending, including the president, we believe. All
the money raised from the ticket sales will be donated to an NGO that feeds people in
the third world. It's a crucial event for the company, Nicholas, you know exactly what
I'm talking about. Now that we're embarking on new projects, it's important that we
present a strong and united image, that we show ourselves as a team to the press and
other guests."
"I know how important it is, I've been involved in organizing it," I said with a furrowed
brow, "but I don't see how that relates to my relationship with Noah."
"It's quite simple: if you attend the party as a couple, you can imagine the press
coverage... It will all focus on you and the scandal surrounding this relationship. No,
Nicholas, don't interrupt me," he cut me off as he saw my intention to refute what he
was saying. "I know perfectly well that your relationship, as much as we may not be
thrilled about it, is perfectly acceptable. You're stepsiblings, that's all. But many people
won't see it that way. I need to present a strong family image, and if you show up
together as a couple, that image will be marred by confusion and the displeasure of
many of the attendees. I'm talking about older people, wealthy people who don't accept
certain behaviors."

"This is ridiculous, no one is going to pay attention to us, for God's sake. No one cares
about what we do or don't do," I argued.
"That would be true if you hadn't been seen with all kinds of girls who usually appear in
tabloids in recent years. Nicholas, you know very well that you have always attracted
the interest of the press. Just look at how they receive you at every damn social event
you decide to attend," my father retorted.
Noah glanced at me sideways, and I cursed under my breath. Damn it!
"Are you asking me to go to the party alone and act as if Noah were my damn little
sister?" I questioned.
"I'm asking you to go with a female friend of yours and keep your distance for one
night. Noah would also go with someone else. We will pose as a family in front of the
press, have dinner, engage in some important conversations and negotiations with the
attendees, and then each of us will go home as usual," my father explained.
Before I exploded, Noah decided to intervene.
"I'm okay with it," she conceded, and I glared at her.
"No way in hell. You're not going to a party of such importance with some asshole who
thinks you're single. I refuse," I declared.
Raffaella, who had remained silent until now, spoke up.
"Nicholas, this is what I mean when I say you need to take things slowly. It's just a
party. Your father is telling you how important it is. It's not like Noah is going to marry
someone else, for God's sake. If she wants to come alone, it's fine with us."
I took several deep breaths and stood up.
"We'll go, we'll pose for the cameras as you want, but I warn you that when our
relationship is discovered later on, you'll be seen as a damn liar," I asserted.

We walked out to the backyard together, not saying a word. I was so angry that I simply
stared at the waves crashing against the cliff beneath our house, trying to calm myself
down. I felt Noah's arms wrap around me from behind, and her cheek gently rested
against my back. I placed my hand on top of hers and felt slightly better.
"It's not that big of a deal, Nick," she said, destroying any chance of finding peace. I
turned around and looked at her, serious.
"Yes, it is, it is to me... Noah, I can't stand people thinking that you're not mine."
"But I am, you know I am. It's just a stupid party, it'll be a couple of hours at most. Don't
give it more importance than it deserves."
I shook my head and cupped her face in my hands.
"It has all the importance in the world. This is the last time I give in on something like
this." I kissed her before she could say anything. "I would shout to the world that I'm
with you. I don't understand why you don't feel the same way."
She shrugged with a smile.
"I don't care what the world thinks. You know I'm yours, and that should be enough."
I sighed and kissed the tip of her nose. "It should, but it's not..." I thought to myself.
Things had to start changing.

23

NOAH

That afternoon, I had made plans with Jenna. It had been over a month since I last saw
her, since I had gone to Europe, and I had the feeling that she was avoiding me. She
had finally agreed to let me visit her at her house, and that's what I was doing at that
moment.
I waited at the door and couldn't help but admire the immense front garden they had.
Unlike the Leisters, they didn't have a private gate, but it directly faced the street,
although there was a long walk to reach the entrance of the house. They had a lot of
towering trees with yellow swings and a small pond with frogs and beautiful flowers,
just to the right of the house, which gave it a dreamlike atmosphere. Almost all the
mansions in that neighborhood were incredible, but Jenna's had a special touch, a
touch that I was sure she was responsible for.
"Please come in, Miss Morgan," said Lisa, the housekeeper. I smiled in response.
"Is Jenna in her room?" I asked. In the distance, I could hear the sound of video
games, confirming that Jenna's brothers were home.
"Yes, she's waiting for you," she replied. She immediately rushed out when the sound
of something breaking filled the room.
I laughed and headed straight for the stairs. Unlike in my house, the stairs were in a
separate room, where an elegantly decorated living room and a bar with hundreds of
bottles of different liquors tempted you to stay in it.
When I knocked on my friend's bedroom door and entered, I found her surrounded by
suitcases and piles of clothes on the floor, sitting cross-legged on the zebra-print
carpet. She had her hair pulled up in a loose bun on top of her head. A smile appeared
on her face when she saw me, and she stood up to give me a hug.
"I've missed you, blondie," she confessed, releasing me a moment later without saying
anything else. I was surprised that she wasn't jumping around or immediately dragging
me to her bed to start talking and asking me things. I could see on her face that there
was something bothering her, something that was preventing her from being her
energetic and fun self.
"What were you doing?" I asked, trying to hide my concern.
Jenna looked around, confused.
"Oh, this!" she replied, sitting back down on the floor and gesturing for me to do the
same. "I'm deciding what to take to college. Can you believe it's so close?"
Unlike all the times we had talked about college, about our independence and how we
would manage to visit each other, she seemed more worried than excited about
leaving.
"I haven't even started packing yet..." I told her, and I got nervous knowing that soon I
would have to face my mother and tell her that I was going to live with Nick. I also had
to explain it to Jenna, but something told me that wasn't the right moment.
I helped her fold some t-shirts for a few minutes, and while I was trying to figure out
what could have happened to her, I found myself looking around, distracted.
Jenna's room was the complete opposite of mine. While my room was blue and white,
exuding tranquility and relaxation, Jenna's walls were painted bright pink, and all the
furniture was black. On one wall, there was a large mannequin covered in tangled
necklaces that we had tried to untangle on more than one occasion, mainly because
they were really cool and we wanted to wear them. However, our attempts were in
vain, and those necklaces had become purely decorative. On another wall, a black and
white zebra-print sofa matched her carpet, inviting you to sit and watch the plasma TV
on the opposite wall. Like me, she had a walk-in closet, but hers was a mess at that
moment.
Pharrell Williams' music played softly in the background, and once again, I found it
strange that she wasn't even humming along to the lyrics. I observed her for a few
more seconds. Since when did Jenna Tavish stay silent for more than five minutes? I
dropped the t-shirt I was folding onto the floor.
"You better start telling me what's going on," I said in a slightly harsher tone than I
intended to use initially.
Jenna looked surprised, lifted her gaze from the floor, and locked eyes with me.
"What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with me," she replied.
Nevertheless, she stood up, turned her back to me, and walked toward her bed, which
was overflowing with underwear and fashion magazines.
I frowned at her.
"Jenna, we know each other... You haven't even asked me about the trip. I know
something's bothering you, so spill it," I urged, standing up and approaching her. I
didn't like seeing her like this, I didn't like seeing my cheerful and lively best friend so
down.
When she lifted her head from a piece of paper she was holding, I saw that her eyes
were moist.
"I had an argument with Lion... I've never seen him like that, never seen him shout at
me like that." A tear rolled down her cheek, and I moved closer to her, surprised by
what she was telling me.
Lion was a sweetheart, a bit of a jerk sometimes, just like Nick, but a sweetheart
nonetheless. Jenna was like a precious gem to him, and I couldn't understand what
could have happened for them to have a fight.
"Why did you guys fight?" I asked, fearing that it might have been about the beating the
other day and the mess Lion had gotten into... which ended up involving my boyfriend
as well. However, I decided to put that aside for now.
Jenna wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees.
"I've decided not to go to Berkeley," she blurted out then.
I opened my eyes in surprise. Jenna had worked so hard to be able to attend the same
university as her father, which, needless to say, was one of the best in the country.
"What are you saying? And why is that?" I asked.
Jenna huffed in anger.
"You're looking at me as if I've committed a crime, just like Lion," she replied, letting her
hair loose and pulling it back up on top of her head. She always did that when she was
nervous or angry. "UCLA is just as good as many other universities. You're going there,
Nicholas is going to graduate from that college..."
"Yeah, but Jenn, getting into Berkeley is not easy... Besides, you could still see Lion on
weekends. San Francisco isn't that far away..."
"I can't go to San Francisco!" she said desperately. "I don't know what's been going on
with Lion lately, but he's acting strange... And I'm not going to move to another city
without knowing that we're okay."
I nodded. I understood her point of view perfectly.
"What did Lion say to you?" I asked her.
"He went berserk. He called me an idiot for changing universities just for him, and he
said he wouldn't let our future be affected by our relationship..." Jenna's voice broke,
and I watched her in anguish. "He threatened to leave me!"
I widened my eyes in surprise. But what...?
"He's not going to leave you, Jenna. You're free to do whatever you want. Besides, he's
crazy about you. He would never leave you, especially not for this."
Jenna shook her head, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.
"You don't understand. He's changed, he's different. I don't know what's going on with
him, but he's obsessed with making money... What happened the other day..." she
said, choking back a sob. "You should have seen his face, Noah, although, well,
Nicholas didn't come out unscathed either, but they could have killed him, and it's all
because of..."
Her eyes met mine, and she left the sentence unfinished.
"Because of what, Jenna?" I asked.
My friend looked away before standing up, grabbing a pile of clothes, and placing them
next to one of the open suitcases on the floor. It seemed like she didn't want to look me
in the eye.
"Nothing, I just don't like that Lion gets into trouble like that, I don't like that they're still
doing the things he and Nick used to do last year..."
"They don't do them anymore, Jenna. They've changed, Nicholas has changed," I said,
trying to ignore the little voice telling me that Jenna had just referred to Nick.
Jenna turned to me, laughing out loud.
"They haven't changed!" she replied, looking at me incredulously. "Nicholas is still
involved in the same mess as always..."
I stood still, feeling a pressure in my chest that left me breathless for a few seconds.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, getting angry without really knowing
why. I wasn't going to let Jenna take out her bad mood on me, let alone on Nick. What
she was saying was a bunch of lies.
Jenna seemed regretful for dropping that bomb, but she continued talking anyway.
"Our boyfriends are idiots, they're still caught up in all that shit, and they make us
believe they've left it behind for us!"
"They have, Jenna. Nicholas no longer hangs out with those people, he has changed!"
Jenna burst into laughter, a laughter that sounded even cruel. I didn't recognize my
friend in that moment, I didn't know who she was. She was attacking my boyfriend
without reason or logic, as if it were his fault that Lion criticized her decision about
which university to choose.
"You're more naive than I thought, Noah, really, you know nothing."
I approached her, my patience wearing thin.
"What don't I know?"
Jenna kept her mouth shut for a few seconds.
"They're planning to go back to racing," she answered bitterly. "Both of them. Next
week, bet you didn't know that?"
I was speechless.
—Nick would never return to racing, not after what happened last year," I stated firmly
a moment later.
"Well, it's just a matter of time until you see it for yourself."
In the end, I ended up leaving her house. I didn't want to keep talking to her, I didn't
want to keep listening to her. Nicholas wouldn't go back to those races. We had both
promised not to make that mistake again. As a result of those races, I had earned
Ronnie's hatred, who almost killed me, not to mention that I had helped my father
kidnap me. What had initially been fun had turned into something terribly dangerous,
and that's why I didn't believe a word of what Jenna had said.
When I arrived home, it was almost dinner time. I entered trying not to make noise and
heard my mother in the living room. I didn't feel like talking to her, so I went into the
kitchen, grabbed a pre-made salad from the fridge, a Coca-Cola Zero, and almost ran
up the stairs. Just as I put everything on my bed, my cell phone started ringing.
Another unknown number.
Damn, it could only be one person. I let it ring, feeling my heart race in my chest. I still
felt completely guilty for telling Nicholas's mother that I would meet her to have a drink
and talk about him behind his back, but the social worker had already called Nick to tell
him that his mother had decided he should stay with his sister for a few days, and he
was overjoyed. There was no turning back. Maddie wouldn't arrive until Thursday, there
were still two days left, but I knew that as soon as that woman set foot in Los Angeles,
she would want to see me.
The phone rang again, and again I preferred not to answer it. Then I received a text
message.
See you at the Hilton in LAX at noon.
A.
Damn, Anabel Grason had just left me a message on my phone.

I deleted it as soon as I read it, I didn't want any evidence of what I was about to do. I
felt awful, in fact, I felt like I was betraying Nick, and deep down, I was. However, a part
of me, aside from wanting his sister to spend a few days with him without a social
worker or schedules to follow, wanted to find out what that woman had to tell me, what
her interest was in seeing me apart from getting to know her own son through me.
I picked up the phone and typed a simple and monosyllabic response.
OK.
After that, I lost my appetite and the little dignity I had left, at least in front of that
woman.
"Come on, Noah, choose one," Nicholas implored with exasperation after spending a
while with the color samples in front of us, unable to decide which one to choose.
"I would paint it beige," I suggested after thinking about it for a while.
Nick rolled his eyes.
"To paint it beige, we might as well leave it green, as it is," he replied, taking the color
samples out of my hands.
"Green?" I said with disgust. "How can you paint a girl's room green?"
The woman who was helping us, patiently waiting for us to choose a color for Maddie's
room, decided it was time to intervene.
"Green is very fashionable, although if you're not sure... how many months along are
you?" she asked, looking at my belly with a smile.
It took me a moment to understand what she was insinuating.
"What? No, no!" I denied.
Beside me, Nicholas suddenly became serious and stared at the saleswoman.
"I thought..." she said, shifting her gaze from Nick to me, and then to my belly.
That woman had believed I was pregnant and that we were choosing the color for our
baby's room. Our baby... for God's sake, why did I have to think about that? My
stomach twisted into a knot.
"We're choosing the color for my six-year-old sister's room," Nicholas told her, placing
the color samples on the counter. "Do we look like we're about to become parents? My
girlfriend is only eighteen, and I'm twenty-two. Why doesn't she think before jumping to
stupid conclusions?"
I opened my eyes in surprise. What the hell was that outburst about?
"I... I'm sorry, I didn't...," the woman stammered, clearly taken aback. Nicholas was
giving her that look, the same look he gave me when I did something that irritated him.
"It's okay. Look, we'll go with white. You can let the painters know they can start early
tomorrow," I said, trying to calm the situation. Nicholas drilled his blue eyes into me but
didn't say anything more.
After paying, we left the store in an uncomfortable silence. I couldn't bear it for long, so
I grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at me when we reached his car.
"Can you tell me what's going on with you?"
Nicholas avoided my gaze, which made the anguish I already felt inside me escalate
rapidly. That fear... that fear of not being good enough for him was always there. The
topic of children was something I couldn't allow myself to think about, I simply couldn't,
at least not yet, because I knew that the moment I did, I would crumble, and I didn't
know if I would be able to climb out of that hole when the time came to fall into it.
"I can't stand people who meddle where they're not wanted, that's all," he replied,
cupping my face and giving me a sweet kiss on the forehead.
I knew he was hiding something from me, in fact, I knew exactly what was bothering
him... but I didn't want to hear it, not at that moment.
I embraced him, resting my cheek against his chest, putting on my best face. I ignored
the fear that sometimes threatened to surface on occasions like this and got into the
car as if the words spoken hadn't been uttered.
After that, we spent the whole afternoon buying furniture for the room. Everything
would arrive the next day, and we would have to assemble it all within twenty-four
hours if we wanted the room to be ready before Thursday. Nick was excited; I could
see it in his eyes, in his enthusiasm for choosing things. Setting aside the incident of
the false pregnancy, it had been a lot of fun to go into stores and children's toy shops
with Nick.
We bought some toys and a single blue bed. Nick had decided that we would make the
room in the same colors as mine, as it was something neutral and not overly cheesy.
When we arrived at his house, I was exhausted, and I threw myself onto his bed as
soon as we entered. I felt his body carefully positioning itself on my back, pressing me
against the mattress but leaving room for me to breathe. His mouth approached my
ear, making me shiver.
"Thank you for doing this with me," he whispered, placing warm kisses on my neck.
With my cheek pressed against the mattress, I couldn't see his face, so I simply let
myself be carried away by the sensation of his mouth on my skin. With one hand, he
pushed my hair to the side and began kissing my nape...
I sighed, enjoying his touch, as always.
"Yesterday I was with Jenna," I blurted out suddenly, eager to see how he would react
to the mention of my best friend. His mouth stopped, he became tense, and then I felt
him release his weight from me. I turned on the bed, propping myself up on my elbows
to observe him. I saw that he was facing away, taking off his shirt and letting it fall to
the floor.
"I'm glad," he replied after a few seconds.
I frowned as he went into the bathroom and closed the door almost slamming it. I stood
up and went there without knocking, not caring that I didn't.
He had his hands resting on the sink and lifted his head when he heard me enter.
"Do you know...?" I continued hesitantly at first. "We talked."
"And so what?" he snapped, glaring at me with his blue eyes.
"Why is he speaking to me in that tone?"
"The fact that you're getting defensive only confirms that what Jenna told me you're
going to do is true," I said, imitating his tone.
He stood in front of me.
"And what am I going to do, if I may ask?" he inquired, clearly in a bad mood.
I hated when he spoke to me like that. I regretted bringing up the subject, but if it was
true that he intended to return to racing...
I noticed his bare torso, the marks that were still there... That had to end.
"You can't keep doing what you're doing, Nicholas," I said, carefully choosing my
words. "Jenna told me that Lion intends to go back to racing..."
Without even looking at me, he moved past me to leave the bathroom.
"Lion can do whatever the hell he wants, he's old enough, don't you think?"
"So, you're not going?" I insisted, wanting to put my mind at ease.
He glared at me.
"No, I'm not going," he denied, his gaze fixed on me. "And honestly, right now I don't
give a shit about what Jenna says about me and our relationship."
That annoyed me.
"Jenna isn't the important part; the important part is that you should have never gotten
into that fight with Lion! You promised me that it was over!"
"And it is over! Noah, seriously, I explained it to you already. Lion was in trouble, and I
helped him out," Nick sighed and approached me. He hugged me tightly. Then he
whispered, "I never thought it would get out of hand, but I'm not going to make the
same mistake again, okay?"
"No more trouble, Nick, no more dangerous situations. Do you promise?" I asked,
arching my body as his mouth started kissing my neck.
"I promise," he whispered against my skin

24

NICK

When I opened my eyes that morning, the first thing I saw was Noah's face just inches
away from mine. She had her head on my shoulder and most of her body draped over
mine. I had to hold back from bursting into laughter; it looked as if she had tried to
climb up my body and gotten stuck halfway.
I gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face and let my thumb lightly graze her
freckled skin... those freckles that drove me crazy, not only on her face but also on her
breasts, her slender shoulders, the lower part of her back... I loved knowing that I was
the only one who knew every inch of that body, the only one who knew the exact
location of every mole, every mark, every curve, and every scar.
I noticed her tattoo, that small tattoo below her ear, the same one I had on my arm.
When I decided to get it, it was simply because I liked the idea of the strength that
something simple can have when intertwined in a certain way, but now it meant so
much more than that. Now I wanted to believe that I had gotten that tattoo because of
her... It was ridiculous to think that way, but that idea kept swirling in my mind, that
maybe both of us had gotten the tattoo because we knew we would eventually find
each other...
My phone started ringing. I reached out my arm and picked it up. It was Anna,
Maddie's social worker. I still found it hard to believe that my mother had decided to
leave the child with me on my birthday weekend, but I wasn't going to complain. There
wouldn't be any parties, stripteases, or anything out of the ordinary this year: this year,
I would spend that special day with the two girls I loved the most in the world.
The little one was excited to come with me, and I couldn't be happier. I spoke with
Anne for a few minutes to find out what time her flight would arrive and where we
would meet, and I hung up with a radiant smile on my face. I was finally going to be
with my sister as I had always wished.
Shortly afterward, the painters arrived. I had them come before seven because I had to
go to the office and start working at eight-thirty. When I showed them the small room,
they promised to finish in a couple of hours.
I wasn't thrilled about leaving my girlfriend asleep with those guys in my apartment, so I
went to wake her up while they got to work.
"Noah, wake up," I said, giving her gentle taps on the shoulder.
She emitted a grunt and kept on sleeping. I started getting dressed, glancing at the
clock on my nightstand. I had to leave immediately if I didn't want to be late.
"Noah!" I insisted, raising my voice. Her eyes opened, tired and annoyed after calling
her almost shouting, realizing she wasn't waking up.
"Do you know what the word 'vacation' means?" she blurted out, rolling around in the
sheets and burying her head beneath my pillow.
Damn it. I didn't have time for this.
I grabbed my phone. Steve answered on the third ring, awake and alert as always.
"Nicholas."
"I need you to come to my apartment and stay with Noah until the painters finish their
work."
Noah opened her eyes upon hearing me say that.
"You've got to be kidding, right?" she replied, sitting up and rubbing her eyes as if she
were four years old.
No, I wasn't kidding at all.
"I'm leaving right now," Steve informed me on the other end of the line.
"I'll wait for you here," I replied and hung up.
Noah crossed her arms, looking at me angrily.
"You need therapy."

I smiled, ignoring her grumpy tone as I continued getting dressed. I was going to be
late, but I didn't care. I wasn't about to leave Noah alone with just any two guys.
"I'm just looking out for you," I affirmed, finishing tying my tie.
"I can take care of myself," she retorted, getting out of bed and walking around me to
go into the bathroom.
I sighed as I heard the sound of the shower starting. She could be as mad as she
wanted, but there were too many crazies in the world to take any risks, especially with
her. She had been kidnapped once before, and I wasn't going to let it happen again.
She emerged ten minutes later, wrapped in a towel with her hair dripping wet.
"You're still here?"
I smiled playfully. She was irresistible when she was angry.
"Steve is parking, so I can leave peacefully now... Aren't you going to give me a kiss?"
She looked incredibly sexy. I leaned in to give her a kiss that would make her legs
weak.
"You're going to get me wet," she warned, taking a step back.
"That's always the plan," I replied with a teasing smile.
"You're disgusting," she retorted, but I could see her anger wavering as she looked at
me with her beautiful honey-colored eyes.
I grabbed her by the nape of her neck and pulled her towards me. I slipped my tongue
into her mouth, and just as things were starting to heat up, the doorbell rang. Noah
tried to hold me back by tugging at my tie, but I stepped away. I was in a hurry; I
couldn't waste any more time.
"I'm leaving now," I announced, turning my back and heading towards the door. When I
went to close it, her eyes locked with mine, and a second later, she dropped the towel
onto the wooden floor.
Damn it!
I arrived at the office just in time. My office was at the end of the hallway, and I went
straight there without even stopping for a coffee.
I knew that my father had planned to come that day, and God forbid he saw me arrive
late... If that happened, I would end up serving coffee to the entire staff.
What I didn't expect was to find him in my office... calmly talking to a girl I had never
seen before. She was sitting in my chair, politely smiling at something my father had
just said to her. When I entered, they both turned towards me. My confusion turned into
anger as soon as I saw a second desk, located on the other side of the room next to
the window... my window.
"Hello, son," greeted my father with a friendly smile.
At least he was in a good mood today, what a surprise!
"What is this?" I asked, pointing alternatively at the girl and the desk in the corner.
My father frowned.
"Sophia is Senator Aiken's daughter, Nicholas. She has decided to do her internship
here; I offered her this job myself."
I looked at the senator's daughter with narrowed eyes. I had no idea about the offer my
father had made to her; I suppose he was interested in maintaining a good relationship
with her father, although I didn't understand what I had to do with all of this.
"You have done internships for quite some time, you're about to finish your degree, and
I told Sophia that you would be thrilled to lend her a hand, help her fit into this world."
"Damn it, shit, no!"
Sophia gave me a dry smile that I knew was more of animosity than anything else.
Great, the feeling was mutual. My father observed us for a moment, probably annoyed
by my silence but too polite to mention it.
"Well, Sophia, I hope you feel comfortable here, and for anything you need, you
already have my phone number or, if not, just tell Nick."
"Thank you, Mr. Leister, I'll keep that in mind, and I really appreciate this opportunity.
I've always wanted to work for Leister Enterprises. I believe that the sectors your
company has chosen to venture into are crucial for expanding the business and
thriving. With a good understanding of the law, we can conquer new markets, and I'm
sure that with your son's help, we can achieve something magnificent."
And on top of that, she's a brown-noser, although her speech was well-crafted. My
father looked at her approvingly and said his goodbyes before leaving, but not without
giving me a warning glance.
"You can tell you're a politician's daughter," I said, looking at her intently. "You're sitting
in my chair, you better move."
Sophia smiled and got up carefully. My eyes involuntarily wandered over her. Black
hair, tanned skin, brown eyes, and long legs. She was wearing a pearl gray pencil skirt
and a pristine white shirt. Yes, sir, I had a real daddy's girl in front of me.
"Don't let my appearance deceive you, Nicholas. I've come here to stay."
I furrowed my brow but decided to ignore her comment. I sat in my chair, opened my
email, and started working.
25

NOAH

In two days, Maddie was arriving and we had to finish her room. I had told my mother
that I would stay for some of the days that the girl would be with Nick, and since I didn't
want our relationship to become even more strained, I acted like a good girl and went
home after making sure that Madison's room was free of gossip and ready for the
furniture to be assembled and placed in their respective positions. Nicholas was going
to have to take care of supervising everything because he wouldn't see me until I had
spoken with Anabel Grason.
The next two days passed quickly. I suppose that when you want time not to pass,
when you want the hours to stretch as much as possible, they fly by. So, without giving
me time to prepare myself mentally, that morning Maddie and her mother arrived. I was
nervous, and I knew Nicholas was too. He had sent me a bunch of photos asking if I
liked the room, if his sister would like it, if we should change the furniture, maybe put
the bed under the window instead of in the corner, if the dresser would be enough, and
if she would like the remote-controlled train as much as he did.
I laughed on the other end of the line.
"Nick, she's going to love it; besides, your sister is more interested in seeing you than
her new room."
There was silence.
"I'm very nervous, freckles. I've never spent more than a day with my sister, and what if
she suddenly starts crying because she misses her home? She's a little one, and I'm a
guy. Sometimes I don't know how to deal with those things."
I smiled at the mirror in front of me. I loved seeing him so worried. He was always so
confident, authoritative, and bossy that when he let his guard down and showed me
that beneath that armor there was something tender and brotherly, I just wanted to hug
him.
"I'll try to be with you most of the time," I replied, sitting on my bed and staring at the
wooden beams on the ceiling.
"How? You're going to be here the whole weekend, right?" he suddenly retorted,
changing his tone and becoming serious.
I bit my tongue. And right at that moment, someone knocked on the door.
"Can we talk for a moment?" my mother asked as she entered my room and observed
me calmly.
I nodded, grateful for the first time that my mother interrupted a conversation with Nick.
"My mother wants to talk to me. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
I hung up before regretting it. I placed my phone next to me on the mattress and
watched her as she started to wander around my room. She seemed distracted and a
bit dejected. We weren't in a good place, neither of us. We had barely spoken to each
other in the past few weeks, and things were going to get worse when she found out
what I had planned to do.
"Are you almost done packing?"
I knew my mother was testing the waters. I never fully packed until the day before
leaving, and I had inherited that habit from her. We couldn't understand why people
needed weeks to select their clothes, pack them, and close the suitcase. But I shook
my head, intending to take advantage of her attempt to reach out to inform her that I
was going to stay with Nick now that his sister was coming to visit him.
"They're almost done. Hey, Mom..." I began to say, but she interrupted me.
"I know you're eager to leave here, Noah," she said, picking up one of my shirts and
starting to fold it absentmindedly.
I took a deep breath as I saw her eyes starting to well up.
"Mom, I don't..."
"No, Noah, let me tell you something: I know the past few days have been difficult, that
we haven't been getting along since we returned from Europe. Believe me, I
understand that you're in love and want to spend all your time with Nicholas... I just
wish that this," she said, pointing at both of us, "hadn't been ruined. You and I have
always had a good relationship, we always told each other everything, even when you
were dating Dan," I winced at the mention of my ex-boyfriend but let her continue, "you
would come running to my room to tell me how your night went and the romantic things
he said to you, remember?"
I nodded, half-smiling, and seeing where she was going with this.
"Now that the time for you to leave is approaching, I just wanted to say that I've tried to
give you the best I could. I truly wanted you to consider this house your home. I always
wanted you to live here, surrounded by all these opportunities. Even when you were
little, I dreamt of seeing you in this room, with more toys and books than I could have
ever imagined giving you..."
"Mom, I know I was insufferable when you decided to come here, but now I understand
why you did it, and you don't have to explain anything to me, okay? You've given me
everything within your reach, and I know it's hard for you to see me with Nicholas, but I
love him."
My mother closed her eyes upon hearing me say that and forced a smile.
"I hope you become a magnificent writer someday, Noah. I know you'll make it, and
that's why I want you to seize every opportunity life gives you. Study, learn, and enjoy
college because they'll be the best years of your life."
"I will," I whispered with a smile, although feeling a bit guilty for not being able to fully
open up and tell her about Nick.

The next morning, I woke up early. I was very nervous and went downstairs to have
breakfast, trying not to dwell too much on what I was about to do. Maddie would arrive
in a few hours, and there was no chance of her mother backing out. I repeated to
myself a thousand times that I was doing it for him, that I wasn't doing something
unforgivable. But a part of me, a hidden and deep part, wanted to meet Anabel and find
out what she wanted from Nick and what reasons had led her to abandon her son.
I hardly ate anything for breakfast: just a simple piece of toast that I left half-eaten, and
a café au lait. Nick had informed me that he would meet Maddie at the same time I had
arranged to meet his mother, so I had time from that moment until Nicholas started
wondering where I had disappeared to. He would be busy taking Maddie out for lunch,
and I could finish the clandestine meeting as soon as possible.
I knew that the restaurant at the Hilton was upscale, and I was aware of how Nick's
mother behaved. She was just another one of those snobby, repellent women of
billionaires who liked to boast about how many yachts, horses, and mansions they had
scattered around the world. For that very reason, and with the sole intention of not
attracting attention, I chose a high-waisted, flared light blue skirt and a yellow Chanel
top that had been sitting in my closet for quite some time. Jenna had given me a pair of
white Miu Miu sandals as a gift, very beautiful and very expensive, it must be said, but
they matched the outfit perfectly. I think that was one of the few times I decided to
dress in high-end brand from head to toe, but I didn't want that woman to intimidate
me. Everyone knows that a well-dressed woman is a powerful woman.
When I arrived at the Hilton, a well-dressed man approached my convertible. I got out
and handed him the keys, praying that he wouldn't scratch it. My sandals clicked on the
tiled floor as I climbed the steps that led to the hotel's revolving door. Inside, I found a
very elegant reception area with small armchairs strategically scattered over fine beige
and light brown carpets. At the end of the room, there were huge stairs that split into
two, just like in my house. I had no idea where I needed to go, so I approached the
reception desk where two well-dressed girls smiled kindly at me.
"How can I assist you, madam?" one of them asked, and I noticed her eyes admiring
my outfit. I suppose she was wondering why a girl who must have been her age could
be on the other side of the counter, in front of her, and have everything that I had.
Sometimes I was grateful not to be that kind of person, the kind of person who cares
about brand names and money. I had never wanted any of this, never even desired it. I
was naturally simple, and I would have given everything I was wearing to that girl
without a second thought.
"I have a lunch appointment with Anabel Grason... I don't know if she left a note for me
or something..." I explained hesitantly. The girl checked her computer and nodded with
a smile.
"Mrs. Grason is waiting for you at Andiamo. If you continue down that hallway and turn
right, you will find the doors. I hope you enjoy your lunch."
I smiled gratefully and walked, trying not to falter. Just as I reached the doors of the
restaurant the receptionists had pointed out, I received a message on my phone. I
opened it before entering: it was a photo of Nicholas with Maddie at McDonald's. I
smiled when I saw that Maddie was missing both paddles. Oh my god, I couldn't even
imagine what Nicholas must be saying to the poor girl! Still smiling, I sent them a
message saying that I would join them in a little while. Then I turned off my phone.
When I entered the restaurant, I looked around nervously. Andiamo was a cozy and
unpretentious place, yet very elegant: milky tea-colored chairs, white tablecloths on
square tables with white cutlery and maroon napkins, as well as beautiful decorative
plants. As soon as I stepped through its doors, the scent of freshly made pasta and
fresh pesto filled my senses.

As soon as I saw Anabel, I took a deep breath and went to meet her. She was, as I had
guessed, elegantly dressed in beige trousers and a pretty black blouse underneath.
She was also wearing killer heels that added several centimeters to her height. She
smiled at me as I approached and extended my hand before the situation became
awkward: I had no idea how one should greet when meeting in secret for lunch with
your boyfriend's mother, who had left him ten years ago.
"Hello, Noah," she said kindly.
"Mrs. Grason," I replied politely.
She gestured for me to sit down.
"I'm glad you accepted my invitation," she acknowledged. Then she raised the wine
glass to her red-painted lips.
Well, here's where the show begins. I took a deep breath.
"More than an invitation, it was a bribe," I replied with feigned calmness.
I wasn't planning on faltering.
Her blue eyes pierced into mine, just like her son's, and I felt a chill run down my spine.
"You're a very beautiful girl, Noah, although I'm sure you know that; otherwise, my son
wouldn't have noticed you, of course."
I forced a polite smile. Her comment had bothered me, as if my relationship with Nick
was only superficial and empty, although for that woman, relationships probably were
based on that... all the money she had invested in appearing to be thirty years old
clearly demonstrated it.
"I'm sure we could talk about many trivialities for hours, Mrs. Grason, but you brought
me here for something, and I would like us to get to the point," I said, trying to be as
polite as possible, although it was proving difficult. My suspicions had not been
unfounded: I didn't like that woman, I didn't like her, and I never would. "You wanted me
to do you a favor. Tell me what it's about."
Anabel smiled, perhaps with admiration. It seemed that she liked how direct I was.
"I want to mend my relationship with my son, and you're going to help me," she blurted
out without hesitation. She took out a sealed envelope from the designer purse she
was carrying and handed it to me. The paper was thick and luxurious, ivory-colored,
and on it was written Nicholas's name in exquisite handwriting. "I just need you to
make sure Nicholas reads this letter."
I looked at the envelope with distrust. I had no idea how I could convince Nick to read
it. Besides, handing him that envelope would mean telling him that I had met with his
mother, and there was no way I was going to do that.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know how a simple letter is going to help you regain your son. You
abandoned him," I replied, and I knew I was looking at her with hatred, with the same
hatred I would always feel when someone harmed one of my loved ones; I couldn't
help it.
"How old are you, Noah?" she asked then, placing the envelope on the table.
"Eighteen."
"Eighteen," she repeated, savoring the word, smiling in that angelic way, the way that
would suit a six-year-old girl, not someone like her. "I am forty-four years old... I have
been in this world much longer than you, I have experienced many more things than
you, so before you judge me as you already are, stop and think that you're just a child,
and probably the worst thing that has happened to you is being taken out of your home
and moved to a mansion in California."
"You know nothing about my life," I declared with a cold voice.
The image of my deceased father came to mind, and I felt a pang of pain in my chest.
"I know much more than you think," she asserted. "I know things even you don't know
and would wish not to know ever, but I can change that with just a couple of phone
calls."
A diabolical smile appeared on her face. She picked up the letter she had left on the
table, stood up, and stood beside me. With a slow and elegant movement, she put the
letter inside my bag, which I had left hanging on the back of my chair.
"You make sure Nicholas reads it," she whispered. "If he doesn't, I will turn all this
fantasy that you believe you're living, all these riches that have fallen into your lap, into
nothing."
I stood up as if I had been electrocuted.
"Do not contact me again," I said, trying to control my emotions because she had just
threatened me, and I didn't know exactly with what.
"Don't worry. I have no intention of doing so. But I repeat: if you don't want to live your
worst nightmare, make sure you do what I've asked," she replied.
I turned my back on her and left the restaurant. I didn't even stop to think about the
implicit threat contained in her last words. I crossed the hotel lobby and went outside.
I had been foolish, an idiot for meeting with that woman. Nicholas had warned me, he
had told me about her, about how cruel she was, and I, like a stupid person, had let
myself be deceived. And on top of that, she had spouted all those lies, because that's
what they were: lies that I didn't intend to give a second of my time to. Once outside, I
took the letter out of my bag, tore it into a thousand pieces, and scattered them into
every trash bin I found.
For me, that meeting had never happened.

26

Noah had her phone turned off. It had been like that all afternoon, and I was starting to
worry... I tried not to let my anxiety escalate to a level that could bring any good to the
situation. My sister was with me, as Anne had promised. I was happy to have her all to
myself for four days. I wasn't going to let anything ruin these days with my little one, not
in any way, and Noah... I preferred to think that her phone had simply run out of
battery.
"Nick!" Maddie shouted, calling my attention with her distinctive voice. I turned to her;
we were in Santa Monica, at the pier. I had always told Maddie about this place, about
the beach, the attractions, how kids would go on the Ferris wheel and see the ocean
from the top... At that moment, my little sister, unlike any normal child, had her head
pressed against the glass of one of the many tanks where they displayed mollusks and
marine creatures at the aquarium there. I approached her.
"Mad, if you touch them, they can hurt you with their claws," I warned her.
We were in the part of the store where they sold some of those creatures. I grabbed
Maddie by the waist and pulled her away. It was already getting dark outside, and
uncertain, I started to wonder at what time the child should have dinner and go to bed.
"Are you cold, kiddo?" I asked her before taking off my jacket and crouching down to
put it on her.
A playful smile appeared on her plump lips.
"Are you glad that I'm here?" she asked in return, and I could see in her innocent eyes
that my answer mattered more to her than it should.
I smiled as I zipped up her jacket. She looked like a little ghost with that garment that
almost reached the ground, but it was better than her getting sick.
"Are you happy to be here?" I said as I rolled up the sleeves.
"Of course!" she responded excitedly. "You're my favorite brother, did I tell you?"
I burst out laughing. As if I had other siblings...!
"No, you hadn't told me, but you're also my favorite sister, so it's perfect, right?"
The smile she gave me warmed my heart, quite literally.
"Shall we go on the Ferris wheel?" I suggested, and her enthusiastic response pierced
my eardrums once again.
The pier was crowded with families, and the distant sound of the waves tempted you to
stay there forever. The sunset was beautiful, and just as I was about to take out my
phone to try to contact Noah again, I felt her presence. My gaze spotted her in the
crowd. A wide grin appeared on her face, and I knew my expression must have
mirrored the same.
"Hey, Maddie!" Noah called out, radiant as always, capturing my sister's attention.
Maddie didn't waste a second and ran towards her.
"Noah!" she exclaimed with excitement, and I laughed as I watched her sprint towards
her. The joy inside me grew even stronger when Noah met her halfway and lifted her
off the ground in a sweet embrace.
Getting Maddie accustomed to Noah had been easier than I had expected. It's not that
Noah wasn't lovable—she was Noah—but Maddie wasn't the easiest person, I have to
admit. I adored her because she was my sister, but she could be a bit difficult and aloof
at times. She didn't get along with just anyone, she didn't like people invading her
personal space unless she had enough trust in them, and, to be honest, she was a little
spoiled, well, like any six-year-old whose parents bought her everything. She was my
princess of darkness, as I liked to call her. But Noah adored her, and Maddie adored
her back, so there was no problem.
When I caught up to them, Noah gave me a slightly strange look, as if she was relieved
to see me or something. I smiled at her and pulled her towards me, with Maddie
between us.
"Noah, let's go on the Ferris wheel, all three of us!" Maddie tugged downwards, moving
her legs to free herself, and ran towards the amusement area. Keeping my eyes on
Maddie, I put my arm around Noah's shoulders and kissed the top of her head as we
followed my sister.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Of course! Your sister is adorable," she replied, immediately changing the subject.
"Without the two paddles?" I said, amused. "I had to exercise all my self-control not to
tease her, freckles."
Noah laughed but didn't comment on it. There was something off about her, but I let it
go for the moment. We caught up with Maddie at the Ferris wheel, and I paid for the
three of us. My sister started talking non-stop, telling Noah in her childish language
about all the things we had done, how it had been to fly on the plane, and how happy
she was to be there. Noah engaged in the conversation, enjoying her time with the little
one, and smiling at me every time she turned her head towards me.
Twilight was approaching, and it was only slightly chilly, with a touch of coolness in the
air. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, so the sunset looked beautiful from where
we were. Without saying anything, Noah leaned against me and climbed onto my lap,
her gaze fixed on the sea and the setting sun. I wrapped my arm around her and held
her close to my side. Looking at Noah was the most beautiful thing in the world, more
than any ocean sunset. Aware of my gaze, she locked her eyes with mine and smiled
in that way only she knew how.

Maddie had fallen asleep in the car. It didn't surprise me; she had been awake since
very early in the morning, and for her, the day had been full of new experiences. It was
nighttime, and as I drove across the highway, with Noah beside me in silence, I couldn't
help but recall the conversation I had earlier that morning with Lion.
My friend had called me to inform me that the races were scheduled for the following
Monday. After Noah's abduction, I had distanced myself from my gang and the street
troubles. I didn't want my connections to affect my life, let alone put my girlfriend or my
family in danger. However, Lion remained, and unfortunately, he lived in that world, and
I couldn't take him out of it unless he wanted to change. It wasn't something he
enjoyed, but it provided easy and quick money, which was why he asked me to
accompany him and race for him, as we had always done. I had offered him a loan, but
Lion was too proud to accept it. I had decided to help him solely because I knew he
needed the money, and also because, apart from last year, there had never been any
issues. I had always enjoyed cars, racing at night in the middle of the desert, feeling
the adrenaline, the speed, the victory after winning... I loved it.
Noah would kill me if she found out. Jenna had already raised suspicions, and although
I believed I had convinced her that I was staying out of Lion's troubles, I had to do
something to make her stop being on alert. Lion had sworn to me that Jenna didn't
know when the race would take place and that it would be a quick thing: we would go,
race, win, and return home. No problems.
The only thing I could think of to keep Noah from suspecting anything was to make
plans with her for that same Monday. I would arrange to meet her for dinner at a
restaurant on the other side of the city, as far away from the races as possible, and,
well... stand her up. I would come up with a good excuse to justify the no-show, but at
least that way, I could ensure she was as far away from me as possible, safe in some
nice place. She would be extremely angry, but I would make it up to her upon my
return.
Satisfied with my plan, I parked the car, got out, and went to open Noah's door.
"Everything okay, freckles?" I asked, caressing her cheek and brushing a strand of hair
away from her face. She had been distant all evening, and now that my sister was
asleep, I could focus on her. I noticed how elegantly she was dressed.
"I'm just tired, that's all," she replied, getting out of the car without even looking at me.

Noah chuckled, her expression displaying an amused smile, and I felt slightly relieved.
"You haven't done anything, silly," she replied, and I calmed down a bit. As she turned
around, she cupped my face in her hands and stood on tiptoes to kiss me on the lips.
Before she pulled away, I lowered my hand to her waist and pulled her closer to me.
When the kiss didn't deepen, I took the initiative and opened her lips, savoring the
taste of her.
She returned the kiss, but I sensed that her mind was elsewhere.
When I pulled away, I continued to gaze at her intently.
"You're hiding something from me, and I'll figure out what it is," I commented
half-jokingly before releasing her.
I opened the back door of the car and grinned like an idiot at the sight of that beautiful
girl sleeping next to an ugly stuffed rabbit. I unbuckled her seatbelt and lifted her into
my arms. After retrieving the small suitcase she had brought, I closed the vehicle, and
with Noah by my side, we headed up to my apartment.
I didn't want to wake my sister, so I put her directly into bed.
"Sleep tight, princess," I whispered, kissing her on the cheek.
As I exited and closed the door, I found Noah waiting for me, leaning against the
opposite wall of the room. We needed to talk, and I appreciated that she took the first
step.
"Want to take a bath with me?" she suggested with a warm smile.
I smiled back, took her hand, and led her to the bathroom. I turned on the hot water
and let the bathtub fill up. I turned to face her and approached her.
"You look beautiful today... very elegant in that outfit," I remarked, carefully pulling out
the hair tie, which instantly cascaded like silk around her neck. "What have you been
up to all morning? Besides ignoring me, of course."
Her eyes fixated on the buttons of my shirt, and with trembling fingers, she began to
unbutton them one by one. I grabbed her hands, stopping her and feeling a pang of
anxiety as I sensed that there was something she wasn't telling me.
"I went out with my mother," she replied, raising her face and looking directly into my
eyes. "I ran out of battery, that's why I didn't see your calls."
I nodded and allowed her to continue with what she was doing. When she removed my
shirt, she leaned forward, and I closed my eyes as I felt her lips right above my heart.
Noah's caresses were unparalleled; it was such an incredible sensation... she made
me feel so good, at peace with myself. She was my personal drug, tailor-made to drive
me wonderfully insane. I opened my eyes and held her hands as they moved up to my
neck. I wanted her with me in the bathtub, relaxed, and maybe that way I could figure
out what the hell was going on with her.
I stripped her of her top and that skirt that made her skin glow. Then I crouched down
and removed her sandals. She had an incredible body, athletic, neither too voluptuous
nor too thin; she was designed for me to spend hours admiring her.
With a smile that stirred something inside me, she unfastened her bra and removed her
underwear, sliding directly into the bathtub. I wanted to warn her that the water was
very hot, but she didn't show any signs of pain; she simply submerged herself, and the
water covered her shoulders. I didn't take long to join her, and when she leaned
forward to allow me to sit behind her and envelop her in my arms, I clenched my teeth
tightly, instantly scalding my skin.
"Damn it, Noah!" I complained, enduring a few seconds until my body adjusted.
"Doesn't it burn you?"
"Not today," she replied absentmindedly, lathering foam between her fingers and
observing it intently.
I pressed my cheek against her ear, and we stayed silent for a while, enjoying the
pleasant sensation of being together, relaxed and calm. I knew something was
bothering her. Sometimes, she was so immersed in her thoughts that I would give
anything to know what was going through her mind.
"Can I ask you a question?" she said, interrupting my thoughts.
"Of course."
"But you have to promise that you'll answer me."
My hand, resting on her stomach, began tracing small circles around her belly button. I
knew what I was doing, but I was curious about what she wanted to ask me, so I ended
up agreeing, not without enjoying a little pleasure beforehand. I smiled as I noticed how
she let out a breath unevenly when my hand went a little lower than expected. "Do you
think your father loved your mother? I mean, before they got divorced, of course."
I didn't expect that question, and instead of clarifying what was going through her mind,
it left me even more puzzled.
"I suppose he did love her... although in most of my memories, they were always
fighting or my father was away working... My mother wasn't an easy woman, but he
wasn't any better," I replied, remembering all the times he ignored us, claiming he had
to work or was too tired. "When I was little, I even thought that all fathers lived far away
from home and only came back when they were hungry or sleepy. Of course, as I grew
older and visited my friends' homes, I realized it wasn't true, that I was mistaken, and
that fathers could be great. One of my schoolmates had a father who picked him up
from school every day, and on the way back, they would always stop to have pancakes
and play baseball in the neighborhood park... I envied him. That's when I understood
that many fathers did things with their children."
I stared ahead, lost in memories, and it wasn't until Noah turned her face towards me
that I realized my mind had transported me to another time. I forced a smile and let her
kiss me as she pulled on my neck until our lips met.
"I shouldn't have asked you anything," she apologized.
I leaned my head back and observed her.
"You can ask me anything you want, Noah. My life hasn't been a fairy tale, although it's
close compared to what happens out there. Not everyone is born wanting to be
parents, and most fail in the attempt."
I wasn't going to complain about having conflicted parents. My childhood hadn't been
ideal, but I didn't intend to whine about it, especially not in front of her. I could see that
Noah felt sorry for me, in her beautiful eyes, and all that considering she was the one
who had won the prize for the horror story. My father may have been a selfish jerk
when I was a child, but he hadn't tried to kill me. Sometimes my mind played tricks on
me, imagining a young Noah, a little older than Maddie, hiding from her own father,
forced to jump out of a window... How could she even spare a second to pity me?
"Do you think normal families exist?" she asked me. "You know what I mean, like the
ones in movies, with normal parents who work and whose biggest concern is paying
the mortgage at the end of the month."
Was that what had been bothering her all afternoon? Had her mother said something
to her that morning? I was filled with anger just thinking that Raffaella might have been
pestering her about how impossible our relationship was. I pondered it for a few
seconds.
"You and I are going to be that kind of family. What do you think? Although without the
worrying about the mortgage part, of course."
Noah burst into laughter, and I felt the urge to show her how serious I was.
"Now it's my turn to ask a question," I said, and her eyes searched mine again. I
smiled. "Where do you want to do it, in the bathtub or on the bed?"

27

NOAH

I couldn't get Nicholas' mother's words out of my head.

Her threat scared me, but I didn't want to go any further. I didn't want to embark on a
path that I wasn't sure I could navigate alone. I felt guilty for breaking that letter. I had
no right to do that because it wasn't mine, but I didn't want that woman to cause any
more harm to Nick. What had Nick said on the morning the painters were there? That
he wanted to protect me? Well, that's what I was doing for him too.
I focused on Nicholas, as always. He was my medicine, my distraction, my safe place.
He made me turn around, and I appreciated the size of that bathtub.
"Where do you want to do it, in the bathtub or on the bed?" he asked me, with that
intense gaze, although I sensed that he needed my touch, especially after stirring up
his past. I needed it too because if I started overthinking this whole situation, I would
end up uncovering truths that I preferred to keep hidden... at least for now.
He sat me on his lap, and our lips met again with tenderness. Both of us needed each
other in that moment because it had been an intense day for both of us, although in
different ways.
With his hands on my back, he leaned over me and reverently tasted my mouth. My
hands traveled up his shoulders and settled on his rough, wet cheeks in the water
surrounding us. His fragrance filled all my senses, and I felt a warmth spreading inside
me.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered against my heated skin. His mouth left my lips and
trailed along my jaw, leaving small nips until it reached my neck. My hands traveled
down his chest, his abs, until his hands gripped my back, bringing our torsos together,
skin against skin, with no separation at all. "So warm, so soft..." he murmured as his
mouth and tongue savored my naked and moist skin.
He leaned me backward, and I let out a breathy sigh as his hands moved up and down
my back, and his mouth claimed my left breast, tasting my sensitive skin, eager for his
caresses. I arched my back and tightened my legs around his hips. He sought my
mouth with his, and we repeated the oldest dance, our tongues playing with each
other...
"Look at me," he said then, pulling away from me, and as I opened my eyes, I saw his
fixed on my face, as blue as always but with something different, something hard to
express in words. "I love you, and I will love you for the rest of my life," he declared,
and I felt my heart freeze, stopping before resuming its frantic race. Without taking my
eyes off his, he slowly lifted me with the arm around my waist and positioned me right
above him, moving with infinite slowness and a sweetness almost as tangible as his
words. When he penetrated me, I opened my mouth to let out a cry, but his lips
silenced me with a deep kiss.
"Do you feel it? Do you feel the connection? We're made for each other, my love," he
whispered in my ear as he moved gently, setting a slow rhythm that was driving me
crazy. His words echoed in my head as he pleasured me in a way only he knew how
and only he would ever do.
"I love you, and I will love you for the rest of my life."
"Promise me," I said when a terrible fear seized my body and soul, a fear of losing him,
an infinite fear of not having what I was experiencing in those moments for the rest of
my life.
His eyes, dark with desire, returned to mine, lost, not knowing what I meant.
"That you'll love me always, promise me," I almost pleaded.
Without answering, he stood up from the bathtub, carrying me with him, his hands
firmly holding my thighs.

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in the crook of his neck, biting my
lower lip to stifle a scream as I felt him so deep inside me while he carried me to the
bedroom, both of us dripping wet and making a mess. He laid me on the bed without
separating an inch from me.
"No promise is worth it," he asserted as our labored breaths seemed to find a rhythm. I
was on the edge, and he knew it, his hands tending to every part of my body that
craved his touch. "Because you have me so captivated... that I am more yours than
mine; I will do what you ask, whatever you want," he said, looking at me intently. "I
promise you, my love."
And with his words and his body pressed against mine, I stopped feeling cold.
The following days were fantastic. It was incredible to share all the moments he could
experience with his sister, moments he had never been able to have due to the
distance and limited hours they were allowed to see each other. On Nick's birthday, we
went to Disney, and even though it was a place for children and we spent the day
chasing after Maddie, I loved seeing Mickey Mouse and his gang singing "Happy
Birthday" to Nick. A year ago, around this time, we had just started dating, and if
someone had told me then that the next year I would be watching Nick wearing mouse
ears and eating princess-shaped chocolate cake, I would have thought they were
crazy.
But the days passed quickly, and soon it was time to take her to the airport. The flight
attendant who would take care of her until she was picked up in Las Vegas was waiting
for us near the security checkpoint. After spending so much time together, the farewell
was much harder than they had imagined.
"Are you okay?" I asked him as we walked towards where we had parked the car. His
fingers squeezed mine tightly.
"I will be," he simply replied.
Nick seemed reluctant to talk, especially when it came to his feelings, so I didn't want
to push him. His sister was his weakness, and knowing that she was leaving to be with
parents who barely had time for her didn't help. We got into the car in silence, and it
wasn't until about ten minutes had passed that he decided to speak to me again.
"Should I drop you off at your house?" he asked.
An alarm went off inside me. Jenna had called me the previous day while Nick was
bathing Maddie to tell me that the races were going to be on Monday. I didn't want to
believe her then, but if she was right, Nick wouldn't want me around. I was on the
verge of saying no, that I would stay and spend the night with him, but I couldn't take
advantage of my mother, who was already quite upset. Besides, I still had to finish
packing since I was leaving for college in just five days. I needed to talk to my mother,
although I had been considering telling her after I had already moved and settled in,
when there was no turning back. It was a risky idea, but I preferred to face my mother
from a distance than to have to tell her in person.
"Yes, drop me off at home," I replied as I looked out the window, trying to decide what
to do about the races. When we arrived home and he parked the car in the driveway, I
thought he would at least come in to say hello to his father, but he didn't even turn off
the engine. However, that wasn't what caught me off guard. It was what he said next.
"Shall we have dinner tomorrow?"
I turned to him, surprised.
"What?"
A smile that didn't reach his eyes appeared on his face.
"You and me... together at a nice restaurant... would you like that?" he asked, reaching
out and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I was taken aback. I didn't expect that,
not if Jenna was right and he was going to the races tomorrow.
"Will you pick me up?"
His gaze shifted from mine to the house.
"I don't think I can. I'll be working all day... It's better if we meet at the restaurant."
When he looked back at me, I didn't see a trace of doubt on his face; he seemed
sincere. Maybe Jenna was wrong after all. A smile appeared on my face; I hated
having doubted Nick. He wouldn't lie to me, he wouldn't go to the races without telling
me, especially after everything that had happened.
"Alright, see you there then," I said, placing a hand on the door.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, stopping me before I got out of the car. I turned to him. "Thanks
for being with me these past few days. It wouldn't have been the same without you."
I placed my hand on his cheek and caressed it as I leaned in to kiss him. As the kiss
deepened, all I could do was silently pray that he wasn't lying to me.
The next afternoon, Jenna came by my house. I had never seen her so down. She and
Lion weren't going through their best moment, and it didn't help that my friend was
completely convinced that they would go to the races that day. When I told her that
Nick was waiting for me to have dinner at Cristal, an elegant restaurant in the city, her
expression showed disbelief.
"I know what I'm talking about, Noah, and I'm almost a hundred percent sure that our
idiot boyfriends are going to cause trouble tonight."
I sighed as I looked for a nice dress to wear. I had grown tired of trying to convince
Jenna that Nicholas wouldn't lie to me, let alone take me to a restaurant if he didn't
plan on being there to have dinner with me.
"How are you and Lion doing? Is he still mad at you?" I asked, more to change the
subject than anything else.
Jenna, who was sitting on the couch in front of my vanity, seemed to have a color
opposite to the blood-red of her nails.
"If being mad means that our relationship is currently based on yelling at each other
and then fucking like crazy, well, yeah, I guess he's still mad at me."
"You're so blunt!" I replied, surprised by her way of speaking, although it didn't really
shock me that much. Jenna wasn't as posh as the world thought she was. But despite
her carefree tone, I knew something was wrong. She was devastated, and the events
of that night made her much more nervous than she tried to appear. If Jenna's theory
was true, Lion intended to race in every single race to make money, regardless of the
fact that the people involved in those illegal competitions had almost killed us the last
time we were there. And it wasn't just that. Since then, we were both much more aware
that if Lion continued down that path, he would most likely end up in jail just like his
brother.
"By the way, the other day I saw Luca," she commented, getting up from the couch and
absentmindedly flipping through hangers. I paused for a moment and looked at her
through the mirror's reflection.
"What's he like?" I asked cautiously.
"To be honest, he seemed quite nice, although there's something... I don't know, it gave
me goosebumps when I met him," she admitted, pausing at a simple white t-shirt.
Jenna was anywhere but present, looking at clothes, and that had been the case for
over a month. "He's very handsome, not as much as Lion, but it's obvious his parents
must have been attractive... he has the same green eyes as him, but his gaze hides a
lot of things, things that Lion doesn't want me to know because when he saw me enter
his house the other day, he almost kicked me out."
Her voice trembled a bit as she said that last sentence. I approached her, hating to see
sadness in my friend; the previous Jenna was the opposite of the Jenna in front of me.
Where was her constant smile, the sparkle in her eyes, and the nonsense she used to
spout every second of the day? I felt the urge to kick Lion's ass.
"Why don't you come to dinner with me and Nick tonight?" I suggested, knowing that
he wouldn't mind. Jenna was his friend, and I was sure she would help lift his spirits.
Jenna looked at me and shook her head in frustration.
"Do you still think he's going to take you to dinner?"
I took a deep breath before answering.
"Nicholas wouldn't lie to me, Jenna, and he wouldn't stand me up," I replied.
She pondered my response for a moment.
"Fine... but I'm doing it so you won't be alone when that idiot doesn't show up as he
promised; then we can go straight to find them."
I shook my head, although I couldn't help but feel a pang of uncertainty in my chest
upon hearing her say that.
A few hours later, we had showered and were finishing getting ready. Jenna didn't
seem very enthusiastic about it; I had to convince her to dress up since we weren't
going to have dinner at a McDonald's, to say the least. She finally put on a pair of black
leather shorts, a white blouse, and flat sandals. I opted for a fitted black dress and
white platform shoes. I left my hair loose and applied makeup, this time emphasizing
my lips.
Jenna rolled her eyes at me but refrained from making any comments. Just then, I
received a message from Nick.
"The reservation is under my name, wait for me inside and have some drinks."
I showed Jenna the message, but she ignored me as she walked out of my room.
It took us about an hour to reach the restaurant. As Nick had told me, there was a
reservation for three under his name. The place was very pleasant, with small
French-style tables and dim, romantic lighting. It amused me to be there with Jenna,
surrounded by candles, and I found it hard to imagine Nick being there with me. The
place was too cheesy for him. Jenna started joking around while the couples around us
looked a bit annoyed.
"Come on, Noah, hold my hand. Maybe confetti will fall from one of those lamps
hanging above our heads," she said, playfully approaching me. I laughed as we sipped
a glass of white wine, waiting for Nick to show up.
After waiting for over forty minutes, the jokes ceased to amuse me, and I started
feeling a discomfort in the pit of my stomach.
The sound of my phone vibrating snapped me out of my silence, and I read the
message with a furrowed brow.
"I'm sorry, freckles, I won't be able to make it tonight. We're swamped with work, and if
I don't finish the reports they've asked for, I can say goodbye to the intern position.
Please don't be mad, I'll make it up to you... have dinner with Jenna and enjoy
yourselves tonight."
I felt a fire growing inside me, something I had been holding back since the first twenty
minutes of waiting. I couldn't believe he was such an idiot to think that this ploy would
work on me.
I looked up at Jenna, who, despite everything, looked at me with a certain sympathy.
"Where the hell are those races even taking place?"

28

NICK
As soon as I hit "Send," I knew that all of that was going to end up in trouble. Right at
that moment, we were leaving my apartment. None of it amused me much, but a part
of me felt the adrenaline coursing through my entire nervous system, something I had
missed deep down. It's not like things weren't great now, but the fights, the races, the
craziness I used to engage in had provided me an escape valve that was hard to leave
behind. I told myself I was doing it for Lion, but I was also doing it for myself; in fact, I
needed it. All the memories stirred up by the issue with my mother, my sister saying
goodbye to me at the airport, the feeling that Noah was hiding things from me, and
knowing that I hadn't been able to heal her from her nightmares kept me in a constant
state of nerves. And it didn't help to know that absolutely everyone wanted to see us
separated.
I repeated to myself over and over again that she was safe with Jenna, away from all
that shit, and secure from everyone and from me. I didn't want her with me that night...
There were moments when I simply needed to be alone, and that was one of them.
I put on my helmet and hopped on the motorcycle. Lion and Luca were going to bring
the cars there, so we had agreed to meet directly at the location. This year the races
wouldn't be in the desert, but in the city. It wouldn't be a very long stretch, but the
stakes were incredibly high; if we won, we would take home a large amount of money,
and Lion needed it.
The music was blasting as I rode the motorcycle through the large crowds of people.
Many of them cheered for me when they saw me arrive, and the adrenaline started
pumping through my veins as soon as I felt like I was back with my gang. I couldn't
deny that I had missed it.
"Look who we have here!" shouted Mike, Lion's cousin, as he approached me.
I fist-bumped him as I got off the bike and placed the helmet on the seat.
"What's up, man?" I said, taking in my surroundings. It had been a long time since I
had seen these people, and within minutes, I found myself surrounded by all of them.
Everyone was cracking jokes and teasing me, everyone was drinking like true warriors,
and the music was so loud that my ears were hurting.
Lion showed up a few minutes later, and everyone cheered when they saw him arrive
in such a car, a Lamborghini that I had rented for the occasion. It all reminded me of
last year's races, of how my blonde demon had raced and defeated Ronnie, surprising
all of us and nearly giving me a heart attack in the process, of course. I would never
forget how amazing she had been in that race. Noah knew how to race, and seeing her
do it had both turned me on and pissed me off at the same time.
While the people around me were dancing and fooling around, waiting for the others to
arrive, I pulled out a cigarette and leaned against the bike. I needed to know that Noah
was okay and that she had made it home.
She hadn't responded to my message, and that didn't sit well with me. She was
probably mad, but she was with Jenna, so it wasn't the same as if I had left her
hanging in the middle of a romantic restaurant... right?
I couldn't call her because she would hear the commotion around me, so I tried
sending her another message.
"How was dinner? Are you home yet?"
I took a drag of the cigarette, and a minute later, I saw her online.
"In pajamas and in bed."
I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the weight lifted off my shoulders.
With Noah at home, I could relax and focus on what I had to do that night: race, win,
and say goodbye to that whole world forever.
Lion signaled me, and we joined a guy named Clark, who had designed the
racecourse. We gathered in a circle around him as he showed us where the race
started and ended. This time, there would be four of us racing. It was a big race
because we had to pay to enter—no less than five thousand dollars each—but the
winner would take it all, in addition to what we could earn from the bets, of course.
"If there are no issues, you'll be back in ten minutes. We have the areas ready to be
blocked off, but the cops can show up unexpectedly. That's beyond my control," Clark
explained, looking at the four of us participants. The other two were pretty good, and
one of them used to be part of Ronnie's old gang, which now belonged to Cruz.
I had seen him; he was standing on a corner surrounded by his crew, all as high as he
was. I hated those people, but a part of me wanted revenge for what happened the
other night. I wanted to make them pay, but not with fists, but with money, something
they valued and desired so much.
"I'll see you here in ten minutes," Clark said. Then I approached Lion and his brother.
"I don't think winning will be too complicated, but I don't want any trouble. If things get
tough, we back off, got it?" I told them. Luca planned to be Lion's co-pilot. As for me, I
preferred to go alone because I hated having someone next to me during races. It
distracted me, and I couldn't fully control the car. They both nodded, and we turned
around, ready to go get our cars.
Then a bright flash caught my attention. My body sensed it even before my eyes
locked onto the red Audi that had just arrived. My heart stopped, and when her long
legs stepped out of the vehicle, all the adrenaline I had been feeling surged and
invaded my entire nervous system.
"No fucking way!" exclaimed Lion behind me.
I felt my feet quicken their pace, and my breathing became erratic as I saw Noah there,
surrounded by all those shitty people. My strides grew longer and longer, wishing to
shorten the distance between us, wanting to reach her side before anyone else did.
Her eyes locked onto mine in the distance. She crossed her arms and shot me a
hateful glare. When I stood in front of her, I held back the urge to throw her into the car
and get the hell out of there in less than a second, but her hand flew so quickly that
before I knew it, she had slapped me across the face.
"You're a fucking liar!" she shouted over the music and the commotion of the crowd.
I took deep breaths several times in an attempt to calm myself, but I couldn't.
"Get in the car," I ordered through gritted teeth, trying to maintain my composure.
"Like hell, Nicholas!" she retorted, stepping forward with her hands raised, intending to
shove me. I stopped her, grabbing her wrists. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare tell me
what to do!"
I pushed her against the Audi and immobilized her with my body.
"I want you to get in the car and go back where you came from in less than three
seconds, do you hear me? I don't care how angry you are, damn it, you shouldn't be
here. Do I have to remind you of what happened last time?!"
Her eyes burned into mine, she was so furious that I had to suppress the urge to shake
her for being so stubborn. It didn't matter if I was there; they couldn't hurt me. I could
endure any shit they threw at me, but Noah? The fear that someone would notice her,
recognize her... My eyes instinctively darted to where Cruz was drinking with his
friends, and I saw that they hadn't noticed her presence yet.
"Of course, I don't have to remind you! I was there! Do you remember?" she replied,
struggling with her body to break free from me, but failing. Despite the struggle and the
tense moment, I noticed how she was dressed... Could she be any more conspicuous?
"Stop, for fuck's sake," I ordered, gripping her hands with one of mine and cupping her
face with the other to make her look at me. "This is not a joke, Noah. I need you to
leave."
"I'm not leaving unless you come with me," she defiantly said, raising her chin and
forcing me to let go.
I leaned both arms against the car, taking deep breaths while Noah remained sheltered
within the makeshift shield formed by the crowd and herself. I turned my face and
inhaled her scent more than anything to calm myself. Her now free hands decided not
to touch me this time; they stayed still, lifeless at her sides.
"You shouldn't be here," I whispered, bringing my mouth close to her ear, and we both
felt the shiver that ran through her skin.
"Neither should you," she replied.
I stepped back enough to look her in the face. She was lightly made up and wearing a
short dress that exposed her bare legs to everyone. She had dressed up for me... and I
had stood her up to participate in illegal races.
I took several deep breaths.
"I'm sorry, freckles," I apologized, placing my hands on her waist. The fabric of that
damn dress was so thin that it felt like I was touching her bare skin. Between that and
the anger she seemed to have, I was dying to kiss her and know that she forgave me.
When I leaned in to do so, she turned her face to the side.
"I can't stand being lied to," she said.
"I know, I won't do it again."
"I don't believe you," she replied.
I took another deep breath, trying to hide how much her words hurt.
"These are the last races I'm going to run, you can ask Lion, I told him this morning. It's
over, Noah... I'm only doing this as a farewell and because I know Lion needs me."
"You can't keep doing this for him, Nicholas," she retorted, but her voice no longer held
anger, only concern.
—I know you care about him like a brother, but I've talked to Jenna, and he's not the
same; supporting him in all this will only make things worse.
She was right. I kept moving forward while he dug his own grave. Either he would
come out of this with me or he would sink into misery along with guys like Cruz or his
own brother, Luca.
I reached out my hands to Noah and pulled her towards me. I would never let her fear
for me again, never. That was over.
"I'll do everything I can to get Lion out of this with me," I assured her, and I swelled with
happiness when Noah's hand landed on my cheek. I knew that touch meant she
forgave me.
I ran my hand up her spine and kissed her tenderly on the cheek, brushing it carefully
with the tip of my nose from her cheekbone to her ear.
"Go home, please; I'll come as soon as this is over."
Noah remained silent, and I interpreted her silence as a "okay."
I turned my head and saw the three racers already talking to Clark.
"I have to go."
She nodded, and I kissed her on the lips before turning to join the guys until I saw her
with Jenna by the Audi, ready to leave. Only then did I turn to the others.
"Good luck, everyone. See you when we get back," I said to Lion, repeating what he
always told me when I had to race alone.
I saw the smile on his face, but there was also something that didn't sit right with me
before he turned around and got into the car.
I walked towards where the Lamborghini was parked, got in, and started the engine.
Lion got into the car Luca had brought and drove to the starting point. A girl dressed
only in a bikini top and tiny shorts was already in the middle of the track, holding two
flags high. The city was illuminated behind her, waiting to see us zoom past at over a
hundred and ninety kilometers per hour through its closed streets. Everything had to be
done quickly and flawlessly; otherwise, things could end very badly...
And then, just in the final minute, when the countdown had already begun and my
hands gripped the steering wheel, the passenger door suddenly opened, and Noah
quickly got in and sat beside me.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
The gunshot signaling the start of the race echoed through the clearing, and the flags
dropped—the race had begun.

29

NOAH

As Jenna informed me about how the races were going to be, a terrible fear
overwhelmed me. So when I saw Nick's car lined up, ready to go, I started running
and, without thinking about the consequences, jumped into the passenger seat. Nick
looked at me first in surprise and then in anger. I was so scared that I averted my gaze
to the gearshift and quickly shifted into first gear, forcing him to focus on what he had to
do.
"Come on, step on the accelerator, Nicholas!"
Thankfully, his reflexes were incredible because I don't even know how he managed to
start the car and catch up to the other cars, which had gained a slight advantage.
"I'm going to kill you! Do you hear me?!" he shouted, shifting into fourth gear and
focusing on the road. We were about to enter the city, and I knew I had to keep quiet
and let him concentrate.
His eyes briefly glanced at my body, almost imperceptibly.
"Put on the damn seatbelt!"
I jumped in my seat and did as he asked.
God, this was going to cost me dearly, I knew it, but I needed to be there with him. This
race was not like the one he had run last year. No matter how many times I had asked
him not to do it, Nicholas made his own decisions, sometimes leaving me out of them.
This had been my decision: if he raced, I raced too; if he put himself in danger, I would
do the same. I couldn't care less about what he had to say about it. I would face the
consequences later.
" I told you to go!" he shouted, hitting the steering wheel. He was furious, but so was I. I
wasn't going to back down. Things weren't supposed to be like this, and I wanted to
show him that if he continued in this world, I would be by his side. And if that helped
him leave it behind, then it was worth the risk.
"And I decided not to," I replied, staring at the road ahead. My defiance caused his jaw
to tense, veins bulging on his neck, and I involuntarily shrank in my seat.
When we reached the first curve, my own feet moved as if they were on the pedals of
the car. I loved racing so much that my body was pure adrenaline at that moment, and I
was eager to take Nick's seat, eager to take control and show everyone how good I
was, even though the last time couldn't have gone worse, no matter how much I had
won.
Despite Nick being skilled, in that moment I only saw someone who didn't understand
the harm it could cause us both. No matter what happened, Nicholas kept leaning
toward the wrong side, and in doing so, he dragged me along. I had left racing behind,
I had left everything that reminded me of my father... It had cost me so much, and now
there I was, hating myself for enjoying something that had managed to destroy my
family.
My brain started to disconnect from the problems and focused solely on the cars
ahead, not behind: we were losing.
"You have to accelerate, Nicholas."
The vein on his neck bulged even more, and I nervously bit my lip.
"I can't believe I'm going at one sixty with you in the car."
"For God's sake, this is a competition, not a walk in the park!"
"Well, this car goes at two hundred, so step on it because we're going to lose."
"Shut up!" he ordered, turning his face towards me.

I shut my mouth and let him be. I was so nervous that my hands were trembling. I
silently watched as he manipulated the gearshift, accelerating almost to two hundred
kilometers per hour and catching up with the others. Lion was ahead, and the other two
were within our reach. The next curve was the only chance we had to overtake them,
and I prayed that he would do it right. If we lost, not only would he kill me, but he would
blame me too.
Then things changed, and I watched in horror as, while overtaking one of them, more
cars appeared: the last stretch must not have been blocked off, so we found ourselves
on a busy road. I didn't like that at all; I didn't want anyone to get hurt because of an
illegal race... This wasn't supposed to happen.
"Shit," Nick muttered under his breath as he took another curve while dodging two cars
going at seventy. With a spectacular maneuver, he passed the car in second place. I
couldn't help but get excited.
Lion was the only one ahead of us, and although the second place also earned some
money, my competitive self wanted to win. Nicholas took a curve in an incredible way, it
must be said, and I had to hold onto the dashboard to avoid hitting the door. We
positioned ourselves behind Lion, close but not close enough... I screamed when Nick
drove into oncoming traffic to overtake a truck that blared its horn at us. I wouldn't have
been that daring, but it helped us close the gap. If we overtook him at the next
intersection, we could be in first place.
"Come on, Nick! We have to win!" I shouted, unable to contain myself.
His furious eyes turned towards me, and just then, when there were only a few meters
left to reach Lion's car and overtake it in the curve, the accelerator needle plummeted
from two hundred to a hundred and twenty.
"What are you doing?!" I screamed in disbelief, twisting my body towards him and
horrified as Lion once again gained the distance we had managed to close.
"Teaching you a lesson," he replied, pressing the accelerator again, but it was too late:
Lion had just crossed the finish line.
I took a deep breath, feeling deeply indignant.
"I can't believe it... We could have won!"
"The money is going to Lion. We just had to secure first and second place, the order
doesn't matter," he said as we crossed the finish line.
He slammed on the brakes, and I braced myself for whatever he was about to say, but
suddenly some lights caught his attention, and he turned his body to look out the rear
window. The sound of sirens filled the air, and Nick's face transformed.
"No fucking way!" he exclaimed, accelerating again as he disregarded all traffic rules,
taking a sharp turn and merging onto the road beside us. The honking of car horns and
the shouts of pedestrians startled me, and then I became aware of what was
happening.
Nick's phone started ringing.
"Answer it," he ordered, focused on the road, "it's in my left pocket."
I leaned over him and reached into his jeans pocket, retrieving the phone.
"Put it on speaker," he growled.
I did as he said, and the voice of someone I didn't know resonated inside the car.
"Dudes, the cops are heading your way! We've been busted, this is insane!"
"What the fuck, Clark? You said it was under control!"
"I don't know, something went wrong, someone must have tipped them off. You need to
get off the road right now!"
"Where's my bike?!"
I heard various noises coming from the other end of the line: it seemed they had been
caught in the open space and were heading there. I suppose we had a bit of an
advantage, but I was so scared that I couldn't think clearly. Now I saw how dangerous
all of this was, and I also realized that Nicholas was an idiot for coming here; he should
have listened to me, we should have left, both of us.
—Toni has taken her where always, you know what you have to do. If you hurry, I don't
think they'll catch you. —Nicholas grabbed the cell phone that was resting on my leg,
hung up, and threw it rudely onto the dashboard.
Silence fell.
—Nicholas... they can't catch us —I commented, terrified; if they did, the
consequences would be terrible. For starters, I wouldn't be able to go to college, and
he, who already had a record, would come out even worse. Not even his father would
be able to get him out of it if he ended up getting arrested.
—They're not going to catch us —he assured in a low voice. He stepped on the
accelerator and drove through streets that I didn't know. He seemed very confident
about where he was going, and I simply prayed that there would be some way out.
Patrol cars were following us, I knew it because I could hear the sound of the sirens,
but they were still far enough away not to see the license plate of the car.
We continued until Nick turned and took a secondary road. It didn't take long for us to
reach a street full of industrial warehouses and rows of garages with numbers; he
drove down a muddy street and pulled something out of the glove compartment when
he stopped in front of number 120. When the door opened, he drove the car inside; the
motorcycle I had seen in our garage was parked there.
—Get out of the car —he ordered, and it didn't occur to me to disobey him.
As I got out, I noticed there were boxes and old furniture: this must be the Leister's
storage room, used by Nick in cases like this.
Quickly, he grabbed a tarp that was on a table and covered the car with it. A cloud of
dust rose, making it barely visible, and I started coughing as I moved away from the
vehicle. Then I felt him behind me, he grabbed me by the waist, and the next thing I
knew, my back was hitting the car. He held my face with one of his hands.
—Now you're going to do everything I tell you, Noah. I'm dead serious —he let go,
radiating anger from every pore of his skin—. If it weren't for your fucking trauma, I'd
leave you here so that you finally learn not to meddle in my damn affairs.
I had to blink several times, surprised by his harsh words and the urge to burst into
tears. No matter how right he might be, he was the one responsible for us being in that
situation, he was the one who had decided to go back to that shitty world. I swallowed
my pride and nodded, because at that moment the most important thing was not to get
caught.
He pulled me towards his motorcycle. There was only one helmet, and he hurriedly put
it on me. His eyes lingered a moment longer on mine, and I couldn't interpret what was
going through his mind. He got on the bike, and I climbed on as a passenger. I leaned
against his chest and wrapped my hands around him. Then we rode off into the cold
night.
With each passing minute on the road, my anger grew. I couldn't believe that I was on
a motorcycle, fleeing from the police, and on top of that, enduring his anger when he
was the one who had gotten us into this. I felt my hands tense on his firm stomach, and
I felt his body respond instantly. One of his hands flew to mine and squeezed tightly.
"What is this supposed to mean?"
Ten minutes later, I saw him turn a corner and stop at a gas station.
"Don't move," he ordered without even looking at me as he got off the bike and went to
the booth to pay for the gasoline.
I took the opportunity: I almost jumped off, threw the helmet to the ground, and moved
away from him as far as possible. I didn't even want to look at him.
"Noah!" he shouted. I heard him stop what he was doing and come after me; I saw him
approaching, and I started running. I didn't want him in front of me, I didn't want him to
touch me or yell at me, I wanted to get as far away as possible.
Tonight, it was he who had crossed the line, not me.
I ran until I reached the back of a construction building. I pulled on the slightly open
fence and slipped inside. Nicholas couldn't fit through there, not even close, so I
stopped and when I heard him skid on the other side, I turned to see his eyes looking
at me, wild and out of control.
"Come out of there."
"No."
His hands gripped the fence, and when he looked up, I saw that he was angrier than I
had ever seen him in the whole year we had been dating.
"Do you think I can't jump over this damn fence?" he challenged me, clearly calculating
how to do it.
"And what do you plan to do when you jump over it, Nicholas?" I replied, raising my
voice and feeling my body starting to tremble from the cold. Not only was the
adrenaline starting to fade, but Nicholas's words were now echoing in my head on
repeat.
He paused for a moment, I suppose because he had no idea what to do.
I brought my hands to my arms to shield myself from the cold. I wanted to go home, I
wanted to leave, and I didn't want him to be the one to take me.
"Damn it, Noah!" he finally exploded, shouting at me. "I told you to leave! You never do
what I tell you! Today we could have been caught, we could be sitting in a damn cell
right now, and I would be going crazy seeing what they would have done to you!"
"Do you ever consider that this is not just your relationship? That all of this goes both
ways? That I also care about you and I'm tired of being lied to and left out?" I shouted
back, my voice matching his intensity.
"I can take care of myself; you, on the other hand, have no fucking clue!"
I opened my eyes, unable to believe what I was hearing.
"I don't know how to take care of myself?" I roared as I approached the fence to
confront him. "What do you know about taking care of someone? I've taken care of
myself and my mother since I was five years old! You, on the other hand, all you've
done is get drunk, do drugs, and get involved in illegal shit when your life was already
sorted!"
Nicholas leaned back, obviously surprised by my outburst, but I was beyond myself:
that night, I had feared for him, for both of us, because he had risked everything,
everything we had, everything I never dreamed I could have.
"I'm trying to protect you! But you won't let me," he replied, clearly hurt.
I brought my hands to my head.
"Maybe it's you I need to protect myself from..." I whispered through tears,
overwhelmed by finally saying everything I had been keeping inside for months. "You
keep saying you're going to change, that you'll leave all this behind... but you don't,
Nicholas!"
He looked at me with disbelief.
"At least I'm trying. I've given up everything for you, I've tried to be better, but you, on
the other hand, put yourself in danger and you don't trust me. There are things you
don't tell me. Do you think I don't know that?"
"Are you referring to my 'shit trauma'?" I asked.
Nicholas sighed, closed his eyes, and when he looked at me again, I knew we had just
crossed a red line.
"I didn't mean that."
I laughed bitterly.
"But you think it," I said simply as I turned my back on him and walked away to the
other end.
"Noah, please come out of there," he pleaded, while all my fears crowded in my chest
and tears welled up in my eyes, unable to stop them. "Damn it!"
I sat on the ground and wrapped my arms around my legs. I didn't want him to see me
crying, so I buried my head in my arms.
"Noah!" he shouted in desperation, and I heard the fence creak as he kicked it. "Come
out!"
I lifted my head and stared at him from where I was. He looked desperate, but so was
I, because I had so many things locked inside, and I didn't feel secure enough to know
if he would still love me the same when he found out. Everything he did only made me
retreat further into myself.
"I don't want to be near you right now!" I yelled with all my strength. "You hurt me!"
Pain colored his features, and his arms pulled forcefully at the fence, trying to break
free. I stood up. This was madness.
—And you hurt me too, damn it! —he replied, kicking the fence in frustration as it
refused to give way. —I've given everything to you, absolutely everything, I've opened
up to you... and you're telling me I hurt you?
I remained silent. I had no intention of explaining to him why he hurt me. If he couldn't
see it for himself, then our relationship wasn't going anywhere.
"Well, then leave!" I snapped at him, furious. I grabbed a loose brick and hurled it at the
fence with all my strength, but it didn't even reach it. "If we can't make this work, then
leave, Nicholas!"
He turned his back on me and cursed aloud. After a few minutes of silence, he looked
at me again, and his expression had changed.
"Look, I'm sorry, truly. I've been a jerk, but I was terrified when I saw you at the races. I
was furious, I still am, but I also know that if I hadn't gone, we wouldn't be in this
situation right now."
"And what do you think I felt seeing you there, Nicholas?"
"I know, okay? I understand... But please, I can't stand being away from you. I need
you to come out."
I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears with my arm.
"We haven't solved anything, you know that, right?" I whispered, almost inaudibly.
He fell silent, just looking at me, and that look was enough for my feet to decide for me.
I walked closer to where he stood and stepped out through the gap. His hand pulled
me, and a second later, his arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly against his
body as if not having me close enough caused him pain. I breathed in the scent of his
body, and my heartbeat calmed almost instantly. How could he be both my illness and
my medicine at the same time?
"You left me hanging," I reproached him, feeling the lingering disappointment inside
me.
"I wanted you as far away from me as possible," he replied.
"Once you said we weren't meant to be apart," I whispered, my voice catching.
"And we're not. I've been an idiot. It's not worth it, the race isn't worth it if the result can
be losing you."
I was about to respond, but just then something started vibrating between the two of
us.
Nick took his phone out of his pocket, and we moved apart a few inches.
I waited while listening attentively and became worried when I saw him frown.
"Calm down, Lion," he said, cursing under his breath. "Yes... yes, I can get her out.
Don't worry, I'll be there in less than twenty minutes."
I felt a pang of fear as Nick put the phone back in his back pocket and looked at me.
"They've arrested Jenna."

30

NICK

When we arrived at the North Hollywood police station, Luca and Lion were leaning
against their car, the older brother smoking and the younger one with his hands on his
head. When he saw me, his gaze seemed to light up, despite looking pathetic.
"What happened?" Noah asked, approaching Lion as she took off her oversized
helmet. When I approached her, I took it from her hands and hung it on my arm. "How
did they catch her?!"
"The police arrived at the empty lot first, which obviously means someone tipped them
off," explained Lion, getting closer to me. "If I catch whoever did it, I swear I'll kill them!"
"Calm down," I said, trying to think of what to do. I could call my dad, but damn, if they
found out about tonight, I had no idea what could happen. My eyes briefly met Noah's,
and I thought about how her mother would react if she knew what we had been doing.
"Where's Jenna? Do they have her locked up?" Noah continued asking, clearly
intending to storm into the police station. I took a step forward, hurrying to stop her.
"No way, Noah. I don't want you setting foot in there. Stay here and wait with Lion while
I make some calls."
Noah and Lion stared at me intently but decided to listen to me for once. I searched for
contacts on my phone, and a name immediately came to mind. It was the last person I
would ask for help, but given the circumstances... The phone rang what felt like hours
until finally, someone answered.
"Why the hell are you calling me at four in the morning, Leister?" protested a groggy
voice on the other end of the line.
I took a deep breath, swallowing my pride.
"I need your help, Sophia."
Thirty minutes later, we were still waiting for my damn intern to show up. I had reached
out to her because I knew she had connections in this area. Her father lived in one of
the nearby gated communities, and besides, she was currently handling pro bono
cases, so she was quite accustomed to working on matters involving minors breaking
the law. If I remembered correctly, the previous week she had managed to get a
teenager out of jail for drug possession and had successfully expunged his record.
Sophia Aiken could be a pain, but she knew what she was doing.
A white SUV appeared around the corner, and I knew it was her. I signaled Noah and
my friends to stay in the car and let me handle it. I had no idea what mood Sophia
would be in, and I preferred to face her alone. From what I gathered from Lion,
everything had happened very quickly: Jenna didn't even have time to get into the car;
they caught her while everyone was running away. She wasn't the only one arrested,
but right now, I couldn't worry about anyone else. Everyone knew the risks of going to
the races, and my number one priority was my friend.
Fortunately, they had taken Noah's car, and Clark assured me that he would arrange
for it to be brought to my dad's house the next day. The last thing I needed was for the
police to note down Noah's license plate, and for her to get into trouble. I moved away
from Lion's car and approached Sophia.
"You owe me so big that you won't live long enough to repay me," she said, getting out
of the car impeccably dressed, although her hair was tied up in a slightly messy
ponytail.
I made the utmost effort not to roll my eyes.
"Thank you for coming," I said, putting on my best face. She seemed to enjoy the
situation because she didn't hesitate for a moment to smile at me with superiority.
"Did you just thank me?" she asked, looking at me with wicked amusement. "I think I'd
like to hear it again."
I took a step towards her.
"I'll thank you if you get my friend out."
I suppose my expression must have been priceless, and her eyes shifted from mine to
Lion's car, where the three of them, including Luca, were nervously waiting.
"I don't know what kind of mess you're in, Leister, but I swear I'm getting more intrigued
every day."
Her eyes observed me with curiosity, and I had to summon all my patience not to tell
her off.
"Can you get my friend out or not?"
"What's her name, if I may ask?"
I hesitated for a moment.
"Jenna Tavish."
Her eyes widened.
"Tavish? From Tavish Oil Corporation? Those Tavish?"
I nodded, getting nervous.
"This must be a joke, right?" she said, getting angry, although I already expected it.
"You're calling me, an intern, to get the daughter of one of the major oil magnates out
of jail?"
"We don't want anyone to find out, we need discretion. Besides, she hasn't done
anything, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time," I replied, praying that this
wouldn't end up very badly.
Sophia burst into laughter as she rummaged through her bag.
"If I had a dollar every time a criminal said that..."
"My girlfriend is not a criminal!" Lion protested, appearing behind me.
I turned to him, placing a hand on his chest.
"Calm down, Lion. Sophia has come to help us, right, Soph?" I said, trying to calm
things down.
She looked at us with a condescending smile, first at me and then at Lion, and I knew
what she was thinking as soon as I saw her superior gaze.
"I will help you," she announced, addressing both of us, "but don't call me Soph,
because then we're going to have a problem."
I laughed at the seriousness with which she said it. Oh God, women of the new
generations came well-armed, and if not, just ask my girlfriend!
Sophia ordered us to stay outside while she made call after call. After what felt like an
eternity, she entered the police station, and we all waited outside for her to do whatever
was necessary.
Noah was still in the car, and I took the opportunity to lean over and look through the
window. She looked exhausted and dirty after being on the ground and surrounded by
dust.
"Are you okay, freckles?" I asked, observing Luca snoring in the front seat, barely
caring about what was happening around him.
Noah silently nodded without even looking at me, but I couldn't do much about it
because then I heard the door of the police station open, and there, dirty, disheveled,
with a small wound on her right cheek, was Jenna.
Noah opened the car door and ran towards her.
Sophia was behind her with a self-satisfied smile on her face, looking directly at me. I
smiled back at her from a distance and watched as she got into her car and drove off
the way she had come. Maybe she wasn't such a pain after all.
My tranquility didn't last long because the sound of a loud slap broke the silence of the
night. When I turned around, I saw Lion with his hand on his cheek, his eyes
desperate, looking at Jenna.
"Shit!"
"I never want to see you again! Do you hear me?!" she yelled at him as tears streamed
down her cheeks.
Noah looked at me, as if asking for help, but we both stood there speechless, waiting
for Lion's reaction.
"Jenna, I'm sorry, just listen to me..."
"No!" she shouted, taking a step back. "Don't you dare apologize to me! You promised
me this was over. I've been putting up with this all summer, waiting for you to change,
to do the right thing for once! And I'm done!"
I approached them, unsure of what to do. I understood Jenna, but I also empathized
with Lion.
"I've been so stupid," she sobbed. "You made me feel guilty for who I am, for what I
have. I've tried to stand by your side, do everything in my power to stay together, and
all you've done is make me feel like I'm not worthy when in reality, it's the opposite!"
Lion looked desperate and lost, and when he approached her and saw Jenna stepping
back again, I saw the pain reflected on his face.
"Jenna, I'm just trying to give you the best... I've been saving money."
That seemed to be the last straw because Jenna took a step forward and pushed him
with all her strength, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
"I don't give a shit about the money! I was in love with you! Don't you understand? With
you, not your stupid money!"
Lion held onto her arms tightly as she hit his chest.
"You let them arrest me..." she accused him, completely shattered. "Before, you would
never have left me alone. I was the most important thing to you..."
"And you still are, Jenna. I love you," he declared, trying to make her look at him.
Jenna shook her head, and when she lifted her face, and we all saw her, I knew that
nothing good was going to come out of her mouth.
"You have no idea what it means to love someone," she said. Her arms slipped out of
Lion's grip, and she took three steps back. "I'm not going to let you drag me down with
you."
"Jenna..." Lion's voice sounded broken, and I knew that would be the final nail in the
coffin for my friend.
Jenna looked for Noah with her eyes.
"I want to go home."
Noah moved beside me and went to hug Jenna. I approached Lion.
"Dude," I said, placing a hand on his shoulder; he seemed completely dazed. "I'll take
them home, don't worry, okay?"
Lion looked at me without really seeing me, and Noah escorted Jenna to the back seat
of the car.
"Take the motorcycle keys." I threw the keys to Luca, who had watched the whole
scene as a mere spectator, although his gaze never left his brother's face. He caught
them in mid-air. "Take care of your brother tonight," I added as I got into the driver's
seat.
I would have liked to stay with Lion, but I knew that the best thing I could do at that
moment was to get the two girls behind me to safety and pray that things would look
different the next day. Noah decided to stay and spend the night with Jenna, and when
I went to kiss her goodbye, I felt her cold and distant. What had happened was a clear
warning of what could happen to us if we weren't careful, and I was sure Noah thought
the same.
I feared that both my friend and I had crossed a boundary that we didn't even know
existed that night.

I spent the next two days with Lion. He was a sorry sight, drunk and dirty, lying on the
couch in his house. Moreover, the smell of marijuana and accumulated filth turned that
small house into a pigsty. Luca seemed comfortable in his old home and took
advantage of his brother's poor condition to do as he pleased. Despite spending four
years in prison, he still had all those bad habits, and I didn't want to think about the
influence it could have on Lion.
"You should take a shower, man, you stink," I said to Lion as I put all the garbage on
the couch and the dirty little table in a bag. I was getting angry by the minute; I didn't
have to clean up all this shit, but I swallowed my frustration and helped them.
"Leave me alone, damn it! I just want to get drunk and lose consciousness."
I let go of the bag in exasperation.
"Look, Lion, it's been two fucking days, okay? I'm not telling you to get over it, but it's
about time you got off the couch, damn it."
"Jenna is probably devastated, all because of me, all because I wasn't good enough for
her... fucking money and social classes."
"You have to be an idiot to get involved with a magnate's daughter..." That was Luca's
magnificent contribution to the conversation. Lion threw an empty beer can at his head.
I had to do something to get those idiots back together. No matter how messed up Lion
was, he wasn't himself if he wasn't with Jenna.
"You're wrong if you think Jenna is lying in her bed crying over you," I said, washing my
hands in the sink. That caught Lion's attention, and he sat up on the couch and looked
at me. "She's at the beach with Noah. They were going out one last time with their
classmates before heading to college."
"She's with those snobs from that damn fancy school?"
I raised my eyebrows, looking at him condescendingly.
"Don't look at me like that! Except for you, they're all complete assholes." He jumped
off the couch and headed towards the bathroom. "I'll be five minutes."
I left the bag on the floor and smiled playfully at Luca. At least I had managed to get
him off the couch. I would give him what he deserved for calling me a snobby idiot and
a complete asshole.

I have to confess that I wasn't too thrilled that Noah was at the beach drinking with his
classmates either. And as much as I had promised myself to leave her alone, a part of
me had used the excuse of Jenna and Lion to go and see that everything was fine...
that we were fine, to be more precise.
We hadn't seen each other since that fateful night, and I wasn't sure how things stood
between us. I had to see her and talk to her.
The small gathering was taking place at one of Noah's classmates' house, Elena
something, who had her own private beach... like everyone else, apparently.
I parked in front of her house, noticing that there were more cars than expected for a
small gathering. When we entered, there were over a hundred people, almost all of
them in swimwear. The music was blasting at full volume, resonating through every
room. Lion seemed so out of place surrounded by all these people that I forced him to
go to the back.
There, by the shoreline, they had set up two bonfires, and a large group was sitting
around them, burning clouds and drinking straight from the bottle.
"Here I was thinking she was crying, and look at her..." Lion commented, pointing to
two girls walking along the shore, holding onto each other and carrying a bottle of what
seemed to be tequila.
Jenna and Noah. Great.
We approached them, and as soon as they saw us, they froze. Then they burst into
laughter.
"Look who we have here, Noah, asshole number one and asshole number two," Jenna
said, smiling as she brought the bottle to her mouth and made a grimace of disgust.
Both of them were dressed in tiny shorts and bikini tops.
I watched as Lion approached her cautiously.
"Hey, Jenn, can we talk?" Lion suddenly asked, visibly nervous.
Jenna looked at him as if she were analyzing an insect under a microscope.
"Sorry, asshole number two, but I don't feel like it," she replied, dangerously swaying to
one side.
"So, am I supposed to be asshole number one?" I interjected, feeling annoyed, and
Noah shrugged.
"Sometimes you are," she affirmed, but allowed him to put his arm around her waist.
"Can I at least take you home? You're really drunk, Jenna," Lion offered, holding her
when he thought she was about to fall.
"Let go of me!" she shouted, pushing him away and landing on her butt in the sand.
Noah wriggled in my arms, trying to get free.
"Leave her alone, Lion!"
I watched the scene closely. I knew my friend almost better than I knew myself. He was
so angry about the whole situation that I wasn't surprised by his reaction. I would have
acted the same way.
He stooped down, towering over Jenna, and slung her over his shoulder.
"What are you doing?! Let me go, Homo erectus!" she protested like a madwoman,
dropping the bottle on the sand but failing, despite her efforts, to escape from my
friend's grip.
"You can throw all the intellectual insults at me you want, but you're coming with me."
Noah turned to me with flushed cheeks.
"Do something!" she pleaded, and I held her tightly when I saw her clear intention to
intervene.
"She called him Homo erectus. I can't interfere after that. Men have their pride, you
know?"
Noah gave me a death stare, and I laughed as I lifted her by the knees and carried her
over to the less crowded bonfire.
"You have to let them talk, freckles; otherwise, they'll never sort things out."
Noah was shivering from the cold, and her drunken state allowed her to forget her
anger because as soon as I sat down with her on my lap, she snuggled into my arms
and let the fire warm us.
"I'm drunk," she admitted.
"Don't tell me! I hadn't noticed," I replied sarcastically.
"And I'm still mad at you..."
I looked at her and gently stroked her back.
"I figured... Is there anything I can do about it?"
"Keep stroking me like that," she replied after a moment of silence, and a shiver ran
through her body. I moved away from her and took off my hoodie. Carefully, I made her
put her arms through the sleeves; then I zipped it up all the way. A second later, she
rested her head on my shoulder, and I felt her breath against my neck.
"Tomorrow will mark a year..." she said with melancholy, and her lip trembled slightly.
"A year of what?" I asked, not understanding, but she closed her eyes and fell asleep.
I got up and carried her in my arms to the car. She had had enough partying for the
day. I had no idea where Lion was, but I couldn't be his babysitter forever. He knew
what he was doing. I started the car and headed to her house. Noah was so drunk that
I couldn't even imagine the hangover she would have the next day. I suppose it was to
be expected that she would drink, she was eighteen years old, but I had never liked
seeing her like this.
Much to my dismay, I decided to stay the night at my father's house. In a couple of
days, Noah and I would be living together in my apartment, and I could only count the
minutes until then.

31

NOAH
That was not going to be a good day, I knew it as soon as I opened my eyes that
morning. Not only because of the hangover, the headache, and the overwhelming urge
to vomit, but because that day marked one year since my father's death, which was my
fault.
I got out of bed, feeling my stomach protest from all the alcohol I had consumed the
night before, and stumbled to the bathroom to take a shower. I didn't even know how I
had made it to my room. I had drunk so much tequila that I think it was alcohol instead
of blood running through my veins. I remembered seeing Nick... and Lion.
I was going to have to call Jenna and find out how the night had ended, but not that
day... that day I had no intention of talking to anyone. I planned to seclude myself in my
room with my inner demons and cry for the father who had never loved me, cry for the
person who had tried to kill me, and cry for the little girl who had never been able to
make her father love her.
I knew I was foolish for still thinking about him, but his words and the guilt that lived
within me after his death wouldn't go away. My nightmares were a part of my nights
and sometimes haunted me during the day.
I had loved him. Did that make me a monster? Was I a monster for loving the person
who beat my mother and hurt her every day? Was I crazy for still believing that if I had
behaved differently, my father would still be alive?
I closed my eyes, let the water fall over me, and ran the sponge across my body. I felt
dirty on the inside... I hated those thoughts, sometimes it felt like there was another
person inside me, forcing me to be masochistic, forcing me to behave in a way that
neither I nor my late father deserved. Because he didn't deserve my tears, he didn't
deserve my pity...
It didn't matter how many times he had taken me to the park or fishing... It didn't matter
that he had taught me to drive when I couldn't even reach the pedals, it didn't matter
that I loved watching him run and win.
He had been my father, and my childish mind, my twisted childish mind, had forced me
to look the other way every time that man abused my mother. I couldn't understand my
way of thinking or acting. I tried to analyze myself from a different perspective, but
nothing made sense.
During the months I spent in the foster home, I missed my mother, yes, of course, but I
also missed him... I missed him treating me better than her; in a horrible way, I liked
being different, seeing that my father never hurt me, that he loved me more than
anyone else, that I was special to him... Of course, everything fell apart in the end
because he ended up hurting me... hurting me a lot.
The memories, the conversations, came back to me without me being able to do
anything to prevent it.

"You're mean!" one of the girls from the foster home had shouted at me. There were
five girls and one little boy left in that horrible house with fake parents who didn't love
us or take care of us.
"You took my doll!" I shouted back, trying to make myself heard over the cries of the
blonde girl next to us. "If you misbehave, you get punished, hasn't anyone taught you
that!?"
"Don't hit her again!" The brunette girl, the one with those beautiful braids, kept pointing
her dirty finger at me while hugging her four-year-old sister who was crying with a red
cheek after the slap I had given her.
The other two girls, who were seven and six years old respectively, stood behind
Alexia, the brunette with the braids. I hated seeing how they loved her and not me.
I had only claimed what was mine; that little girl had forcibly taken my doll. I had to hit
her for that, right?
That's what you did when someone misbehaved.
"You're mean, Noah, and nobody loves you," Alexia snapped at me. She was almost
as tall as me; we were the oldest ones in that house, but she had a fierce look that I
couldn't imitate. Despite hitting that girl, all I wanted was for us to be friends. I had tried
to explain to her that once I finished playing, she could have my doll, that we should
share it. But she took it from me, snatched it from my hands. "No one should talk to
her," she ordered, turning to the others. "From now on, she'll be alone because bully
girls like you don't deserve anyone's love. You're mean and ugly!"
I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I wasn't allowed to cry. My father had made it very
clear: only the weak cried. My mother was weak because she cried, but I wasn't.
"You're mean! You're mean! You're mean! You're mean! You're mean!"
The other girls joined in the chorus, even the little one who had been crying was now
smiling and singing along with the rest. I tightly gripped my doll and ran away.

I stepped out of the shower, trying to erase those memories. I looked at myself in the
mirror and noticed my tattoo. My finger traced it from top to bottom. It was small but
meant a lot to me. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I didn't want all of this to
overwhelm me; it had already done so in the past. I couldn't let it affect me again.
Just then, someone knocked on the bathroom door.
"Noah, it's Nick," he said.
I tightly closed my eyes and silently counted to three. I approached the door and let
him in. I didn't know he had stayed over. I turned my back, wrapped in a towel, and
grabbed the lotion from a shelf. I didn't want company; that day, I needed to be alone.
"Are you okay?" he asked, slowly approaching, as if testing the waters.
"My head hurts," I replied, circling around him and heading towards my room. I knew
he would follow, and I hoped he would understand that it wasn't a good day.
Sometimes we were able to sense each other's moods, and I hoped he would do so
now.
I entered the walk-in closet and put on a promotional t-shirt I had from when I had
moved into that house. It was one of the few things I hadn't packed in my suitcases to
take to college. That t-shirt and a pair of leggings were what I planned to wear that day.
I felt him behind me just as I removed the towel from my head, letting my wet hair fall
over my shoulders. He took me by the arm and turned me around to face him.
"Are you okay?" he repeated, while his hand brushed away the damp hair from my
face.
"I'm just tired and hungover," I responded, observing how in that moment he was the
opposite of me. With his Levi's jeans, his white Calvin Klein t-shirt, and his tousled hair,
he looked like a runway model.
"I'll make you something for breakfast before I leave," he said, kissing me on the
cheek. "I'd love to stay with you and spend the afternoon watching a movie, but I have
to go to work."
I sighed in relief. I didn't want him to see me in that state; I wasn't up for company, and
I would end up scaring him.
"Don't worry, I'll spend the afternoon sleeping."
I took a step forward and kissed him on the mouth. It was a sweet and patient kiss. The
fight we had on race day still lingered in my mind, the things we had shouted at each
other, his way of throwing it in my face that I didn't trust him... but what if you don't even
understand what you feel yourself? How could I tell Nick about this? I knew he sensed
that something wasn't right, and a part of me longed to seek comfort in his arms, but I
couldn't... I was afraid of revealing certain things, and I didn't want him to feel
disappointed or judge me.
He left with concern, and I tried to force a smile to reassure him. I'm not sure if I
succeeded.
It had been a while since I spent hours in front of the TV, watching Friends and eating
chocolate. Despite not knowing which scientific study claimed that eating chocolate
released happiness endorphins in the brain, it wasn't working for me. It would only
contribute to me gaining a few extra pounds.
That day was my dark day, and as much as I initially wanted Nick to go to work, I now
missed him and desperately needed a hug from him.
I was surprised to see the hustle and bustle in the kitchen when I went downstairs to
get a soda... and more chocolate. My mother was dressed in a nice dress and sandals,
she had even put on makeup, and when I saw William entering through the door in his
work shirt and pants, I knew something was up.
"Are you expecting someone for dinner?"
My mother, who was giving instructions to Prett, turned towards me and looked me up
and down with a slightly furrowed brow.
"Senator Aiken and his daughter are coming to dinner tonight."
"The senator?"
"For any particular reason? Did you plan on telling me?" My mother usually informed
me in advance about situations like this, unless she didn't want me to be present.
"He's an old friend of Will, and they want to start a business together. Since you weren't
feeling well, I thought you'd prefer to stay upstairs," she added as she took off the
apron tied around her waist.
Thank goodness.
"Well, I'd rather skip dinner than sit and talk with an old man and his daughter, thanks,"
I replied, a bit grumpier than intended. I was in a foul mood.
My mother gave me an intimidating look that I tried my best to avoid.
"I'll tell Prett to bring you something to eat."
"Don't worry, I'm not hungry," I replied, turning on my heels and returning to my room.

A bit hesitant, I picked up the phone to call Nick. I knew he was working the next day
and wouldn't come to my house, but I also knew that a single phone call was all it took
for him to come if I asked.
I had doubts, but I desperately needed to hear his voice, so I dialed his number.
"Hey, freckles," he greeted happily on the other end of the line.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I said, testing the waters.
I heard him move the phone away from his ear and talk to someone. I also caught a
feminine laugh and a second later, Nick's voice grumbling about some horrible song.
My body immediately tensed.
"Where are you?" I asked, a little more curtly than intended, intrigued to know who he
was with.
"Right now, walking through the door," he replied, and I heard in the distance a gate
opening slowly.
"From where?"
"What do you mean, from where? From my dad's house."
I opened my eyes in surprise.
Was he here?
I went downstairs and went to greet him with my heart in my throat. I had wanted to
see him right away... It felt like someone had sent him to me via express delivery. I
didn't even stop to think about what his words meant or the female voices I had heard
through the phone. I left the house with the intention of throwing myself into his arms,
but instead, I found her: the girl who had gotten Jenna out of jail.
I stood still by the door.
She was elegantly dressed in a knee-length, fitted black pencil skirt and a pale pink
designer blouse. Her shoes were undoubtedly Manolo Blahniks, and they made her
appear almost as tall as Nick.
Who the hell was this girl?
Nick's eyes landed on me, and I saw his expression shift from astonishment to
affection immediately.
I remained still where I was, with the door open and the breeze blowing directly on my
clear face, free from the loose bun I had made on top of my head.
I took a step back to let them in.
"Noah, meet Sophia Aiken, my intern," Nick said as he took a step forward and gently
kissed me on the cheek.
Sophia looked at me with a curious smile on her attractive, full lips and extended a
hand with a manicure as perfect as my mother's.
"Pleased to meet you, Noah."
I nodded, feeling intimidated and completely out of place.
Before I could respond, my mother appeared as the wonderful hostess she was and
approached to greet the newcomers. As she did, her eyes shifted towards me, as if she
hadn't planned for her disheveled daughter to be the one opening the door.
What on earth was happening?
"Your father hasn't arrived yet, Sophia. If you'd like to go to the living room and have
something to drink, Nick will serve you a glass."
Sophia nodded and followed my mother.
Before Nick could go after her, I literally drilled him with my gaze. Now that the initial
shock had passed, all I felt was anger, anger and a terrible urge to cry.
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
Nick seemed as confused as I was, and his eyes shifted from my face to my
promotional t-shirt and leggings.
God... did I just open the door to the senator's daughter looking like this?
"I thought your mother had told you... They called me this afternoon to tell me I had to
invite Sophia to dinner, that her father wanted to meet me or something. I assumed you
knew. The other day, with everything about Jenna, I didn't have a chance to introduce
you to her."
"No one told me you were coming; if I had known, I wouldn't have said no to dinner
with them," I replied as I heard my mother talking to Sophia in the living room. "I'm not
going in there like this... I'm going to bed, and we'll talk when this is over."
Before I could take three steps, he was already in front of me.
"What's wrong with you? Come on, go upstairs, change your clothes, and come down
for dinner... I only agreed to this shitty dinner because you were going to be there. I
don't know what they're up to, but I'm not going to be there just talking about trivial
things."
I raised my eyebrows and looked at him angrily.
"That's not my problem, Nicholas," I replied, trying to maintain a calm tone of voice.
"Besides, why have you never told me about her? You seem to be good friends."
Nick paused for a moment, furrowing his brow. He looked towards where Sophia and
my mother were talking and then refocused on me.
"Damn, are you jealous?" he asked, rolling his eyes.
I slapped his arm without even thinking.
"What are you talking about?"
Nicholas burst into laughter, which was reason enough for my bad mood to increase.
"For God's sake! She's just an unbearable snob who wants to make her way into my
father's company so she doesn't have to work for her own. I can't believe you're jealous
of her."
"I'm not jealous, you idiot!" I hissed as I walked around him and headed up the stairs to
my room.
"If you don't come down, I'll come up and drag you down myself," he jokingly
threatened. "You know what you prefer, love."
If looks could kill, Nicholas would be six feet under right now.
Frustrated, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had no intention of dressing up for
that damn dinner, not at all. I wouldn't dress up for her.
I took off the tattered shirt and left it on the floor as I looked for something to wear
without having to unpack one of the suitcases scattered around the dressing room. In
the end, I opted for simple, tight black jeans, the kind you wear to the movies, and a
white shirt that said "I ♥ CANADA."
I smiled to myself. I was sure the senator would love that.
I let down my bun and replaced it with a high ponytail. I washed my face and applied
some lip balm. That was the extent of how much I was willing to dress up that night. Let
that Sophia girl go for Chanel if she wanted to. I looked good in anything... or at least
that's what my grandmother always told me.
When I went down to the living room, still in a foul mood, I must admit, I heard the
voice of a man I hadn't heard before. The five of them, William, my mother, Nick,
Sophia, and her father, were gathered around the bar in the living room, chatting
amiably while Will poured some drinks. From a distance, they all looked like they were
straight out of a magazine—so refined, tall, and elegant. I glanced down at my
sneakers and couldn't help but feel like an intruder.
My mother noticed me first and her eyes widened slightly when she saw my shirt, but
before she could send me upstairs, Will noticed my presence and welcomed me with a
smile.
"Noah, come over, come closer. Let me introduce you to a close friend from college,
Riston. This is my stepdaughter, Noah; Noah, this is my friend Riston."
Unlike his daughter, Riston couldn't be more American: blond, with light eyes like my
mother's, broad-shouldered, and as tall as Nick. I could only see that he had the same
almond-shaped eyes and that little dimple on his chin that Sophia had... a dimple that I
had always found adorable on girls, but now that I saw it on her, it didn't amuse me as
much.
I smiled and offered my hand. I felt Nick's presence beside me, but instead of feeling
warm and protective, this time it felt like a barrier separating us.
We didn't take long to move to the dining room, where Prett had set up the table even
better than at Christmas, a holiday that the Leisters had decided to ignore until my
mother and I arrived to disrupt their worlds. I still remembered how fun it was to see
Will and Nick wearing Santa hats, and also the frown on Nick's face when I literally
forced him to decorate the mansion with a large fir tree and garlands. That clever guy
had only enjoyed placing mistletoe in the most hidden corners.
To my annoyance, and due to them setting my plate last, I was seated next to the
senator, which meant Sophia and Nick were sitting across from me... together.
God... why was I so jealous? Was it because I found it so difficult to avoid comparing
myself to her?
They spent the dinner talking about some project that Sophia seemed particularly
excited about. She spoke about laws, numbers, and statistics with the same passion
that I spoke about the Brontë sisters or Thomas Hardy. And to my dismay, Nick
seemed excited too. I saw in his eyes that he was genuinely interested in that project,
and I couldn't even keep up with their conversation... all those numbers made my head
spin, and I felt like a complete idiot. William couldn't stop praising her and referring to
the two of them as a team. Everyone seemed to look at them as if they were the new
toy, and an unpleasant tingling sensation started in my stomach.
Towards the end of the dinner, Senator Riston seemed to take notice of me.
"And what about you, Noah? How's high school?"
His question made intense heat well up inside me and flush my cheeks.
Was it that obvious that I had no clue what they were talking about? Was it that obvious
that I wasn't as mature as his daughter, and they had to ask me out of pity, at the end
of the conversation, like when you ask children how school is going?
"I graduated last June, so I'm doing well, looking forward to going to college," I replied,
taking a sip from the only glass on the table filled with soda.
Nick's eyes met mine, and I felt a pang of pain in my chest.
I couldn't share his projects because I had no idea they even existed. Nick didn't talk to
me about work because he knew I wouldn't be able to help him with anything... In that
moment, Sophia leaned in towards him to whisper something in his ear, I don't know
what it was, but Nick smiled and looked at me.
What the hell were they talking about?
I only caught half of the senator's next question.
"—... you're going to love living in the dorms, it's the most fun part of going to college..."
My gaze turned towards the senator.
"In fact, I'll be living with Nicholas," I blurted out, my voice so calm that I only began to
feel lightheaded when silence fell over the room, interrupted only by the sound of my
mother's cutlery clattering onto the table.
Nick looked up at me with wide eyes, then glanced at our parents.
The senator seemed a bit lost and looked in my direction before turning to Nick... Well,
someone had forgotten to inform him that we were dating.
Sophia didn't appear surprised, which infuriated me even more. If she knew we were
together, why the hell hadn't she kept her distance from him? I let my eyes drift towards
my mother a few seconds after dropping the bombshell, and I regretted it almost
immediately: I was going to die tonight, that was for sure.

32
NICK

When I locked eyes with Noah after Sophia told me we made a good couple, the last
thing I expected was for her to blurt that out.
My entire body tensed up; the silence that fell over us when Noah finally admitted she
was moving in with me was only interrupted by the sound of her chair sliding back as
she stood up.
"If you'll excuse me, I'm not feeling well, it's better if I go to bed," she said, her face
pale. Without waiting for a response, she almost immediately left the living room. Her
mother made a move to get up, but my father held her hand and whispered something
to her in a very low voice. Raffaella pierced me with her blue eyes, and I suddenly felt
lightheaded.
In reality, I was glad that Noah had finally decided to tell her mother what I had been
asking her all summer, but this wasn't the best way. I needed to talk to her. I knew
something was wrong, which is why I had agreed to this damn dinner, to have an
excuse to see her and spend the night at that house again. As much as I hated this
place, I loved having breakfast with Noah and kissing her before I went to work.
Besides, something told me that apart from the jealousy she seemed to feel towards
Sophia—an ridiculous and unfounded feeling—she was hiding something important
from me.
My father warned me with a look to stay where I was when I also made a move to get
up. Sophia, who was aware of what was happening, quickly brought up another topic of
conversation, and the situation didn't seem as uncomfortable... until I heard the sound
of the front door slamming shut.
"Shit!"
I rushed out of the house without caring about anything and ran towards the driveway.
When I stepped onto the porch, I saw Noah pulling her convertible out of the parking
spot and without looking back, she raced down the access ramp.
What was she doing?
I went back into the house to grab the keys that I always left on the entry table.
Raffaella appeared out of nowhere, and the look she gave me was such that I had to
pause for a moment before storming off.
"We asked you to take it slow," she admonished, looking at me like she never had
before. I think I had just lost any affection that woman still had for me.
"Raffaella..."
"We asked you and promised not to interfere in your relationship in exchange for
discretion," she insisted, taking a step towards me. "I suppose the agreement has
become obsolete."
And what was I supposed to make of that?
"Go and bring her back... today is not a day for her to be alone."
Something clicked in my brain when she said that.
"What do you mean?"
Raffaella observed me impassively.
"Today marks one year since the kidnapping... one year since her father died."
I had no idea where she could have gone. I was driving around like a complete idiot
while constantly berating myself for being so blind. The previous day, when she was
drunk, she had told me. Damn it, that's why she was like this... How could I have
forgotten the date? I still remembered the terror in her eyes when the gun was pointed
directly at her head, I still remembered how my heart almost leapt out of my chest
when I heard the gunshot... The gunshot that for a few seconds I thought had hit Noah.
No, that nightmare was in the past, I had buried it deep in my mind, I didn't want to
remember any of it again.
However, it was clear that she hadn't forgotten anything. The nightmares still existed
no matter how much she denied it, and I was sure she still slept with the light on when I
wasn't with her. But her father had died, he was no longer here, no one could hurt her
anymore. Why didn't she bury all those bad memories once and for all?
It was then, after those thoughts, that I believed I knew where my girlfriend could be. I
felt a shiver run down my spine.
I quickly turned towards the cemetery. When I arrived and saw Noah's car parked
alone in the gravel parking lot next to the gate, I breathed a sigh of relief and hurried
down. I had never been to that place before; my parents' ancestors rested in a private
mausoleum on the other side of the city. It cost a small fortune to have your loved ones
there, but now that I saw the public cemetery for the first time, I suppose it was worth
investing in it.
As I entered the graveyard, I was very aware of the coolness of the night and that
Noah had simply come out in what she was wearing at dinner. I had to hold back a
laugh when I saw her in that t-shirt, and I think I loved her a little more, if that was even
possible, for her beautiful simplicity and beauty. She didn't need to dress up to be
gorgeous, and she proved it to me every day.
I began to walk among the tombstones, searching for the Morgan surname. Many of
them were deteriorated, and very few had flowers or any sign that people remembered
the deceased who rested behind them.
Suddenly, I saw her. There she was, sitting on the grass in front of a tombstone whose
inscription I couldn't read from a distance. I observed her for a moment before
approaching. She hugged her legs tightly, and when I saw her wipe away the tears with
the back of her hand, I closed the distance in a heartbeat.
She heard me approaching because she quickly stood up, her eyes wide open,
vulnerable and lost. She wiped away the tears quickly, and I even thought I saw a hint
of guilt when she finally decided to look at me.
"What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but ask. I didn't understand why she had
come to the grave of the man who had nearly killed her.
Noah remained silent, and a shiver ran through her entire body. I took a step forward
while taking off my jacket. I gave her a warning look not to protest and draped the
garment over her shoulders.
"You shouldn't have followed me," she finally said, not daring to look me in the eyes
again.
"It's a habit I have... especially when my girlfriend drops a bomb in the middle of a
dinner and runs away afterward."
I thought I saw a trace of guilt cross her face, but she composed herself immediately.
"I didn't belong at that stupid dinner, and you seemed to be enjoying yourself."
I wasn't going to let her deflect. As jealous as she might have been of Sophia, this had
nothing to do with her or the fact that we were moving in together. It was something
much bigger and more important than all of that.
"Why did you come here, Noah?" I asked again, taking a step towards her, desperately
wishing to understand her. "Explain to me why you're crying over the death of a man
who tried to kill you. Please explain it to me because I think I'm going to go crazy trying
to understand all of this."
Her eyes shifted away from me and focused on the tombstone. Suddenly, I sensed her
nervousness.
"Let's go," she then pleaded, reaching out to hold my hand. "I want to leave, please
take me to my house or yours, it doesn't matter," she insisted, pulling my arm to get me
to follow her.
Her reaction surprised me; it was as if she wanted to hide something. Instinctively, I
shifted my gaze towards her father's grave.
The tombstone was new and very clean, and on top of it, a glass vase with orange and
yellow flowers made it stand out from the rest of the graves filled with dirt and weeds.
The inscription, written in elegant letters, read as follows:
JASON NOAH MORGAN
(1977-2015)
TIME CAN HEAL THE AGONY OF THE WOUNDS YOU LEFT BEHIND,
BUT THE ABSENCE OF YOUR BEING WILL ALWAYS HAUNT ME
WHILE I SLEEP.
Below those words, the engraved drawing of an infinity knot stood out on the pristine
marble.

33

NOAH

Nicholas shouldn't have seen that.

I felt my heart rate accelerate almost to a feverish pace. When he finally decided to
look at me, I saw that he was completely lost. And scared. I didn't like that look at all.
"It's not what you think," I said, taking a step back. That was what I had been running
away from from the beginning, that was what I didn't want him to know...
"Well, explain it to me, Noah... I'm really trying to understand you. I think I've never
made such an effort, but you're making it very difficult for me."
I felt ashamed, ashamed because that topic was so intimate, so personal... I didn't
want to be judged by anyone, especially not by him.
"What do you want me to say, Nick?" I replied, trying to control the urge to cry that
threatened to flood my face with tears. "He was my father..."
"He tried to kill you," he replied, obviously confused. "He abused your mother, Noah. I
don't understand... Do you miss him?"
His gaze was so sincere that it melted my heart. It was clear that he wanted to put
himself in my shoes, but it was also painfully clear that he couldn't, and that was what
kept us apart, what I feared would ultimately separate us.
"You wouldn't understand, Nicholas, because I can't even control what I feel myself. I
don't miss him, it's different... I just feel guilty for how things ended up... deep down,
he... he loved me once."
Nick took three consecutive steps towards me. He gently held my face in his hands
and looked at me intently.
"Don't think that way, Noah," he said softly but firmly. "None of that was your fault. The
problem is that you're too good, damn it! You can't blame him because he was your
father, and I understand that, okay? But you weren't to blame for what happened... It
was he who sealed his own fate the moment he pointed that gun at you... he sealed it
the moment he laid a hand on you that night ten years ago."
I shook my head. I had no idea how to explain myself, I didn't know how to explain
what I felt inside because everything was contradictory... He had hurt me... but what
about all those times he hugged me, all those nights he took me to the track and we
raced at full speed... and when he taught me how to fish... or when he taught me how
to tie our knot...?
Nicholas closed his eyes tightly and pressed his forehead against mine.
"You still fear him, don't you?" he said, opening his eyes. "You still fear him, even
though he's dead. You still believe you owe him something. You feel guilty, and that's
why you come here, that's why you wrote that epitaph and brought those flowers he
doesn't deserve."
My lip started trembling... yes, I was afraid of him... I was more afraid of him than
anyone else because that was almost all I had known of him.
I wasn't aware that my hand was rising to my tattoo until Nick placed his hand on mine
and moved it away.
"Why did you get it?" he asked.
I sighed, trying to calm myself, but it was futile. I knew very well why I got it.
I looked into Nick's eyes and saw my reflection in them... a reflection that had nothing
to do with me.
"When you tie someone too tightly... they either hurt themselves trying to break free or
they remain trapped forever. I'm one of those who remain trapped."
Nicholas furrowed his brow and looked at me with helplessness. I think it was the first
time he was left speechless in front of me.
I approached him and wrapped my arms around him. I didn't want him to feel this way,
especially not because of me. I dealt well with my own problems, he didn't have to
worry.
—I think you need help, Noah.
When he said that, I pulled away.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He observed me cautiously before speaking again.
"I think you should talk to someone impartial... someone who can help you and try to
understand how you feel, someone who can help you with the nightmares..."
"You help me," I cut him off immediately.
Nicholas shook his head, suddenly looking so sad...
"I don't... I don't know how to. I don't know how to make you understand that there's
nothing to be afraid of."
"I feel safe when I'm with you. You help me, Nick. I don't need anyone else."
He put his hands on his head, seemingly weighing his next words carefully.
"I need you to do it for me," he blurted out. "I need to see you happy so that I can be
happy too. I need you to stop being afraid of the darkness and your dead father, and
most importantly, I need you to stop believing that you should love him or defend him
because, Noah, your father was an abuser, and that's something no one can change,
not you or anyone else, do you understand?"
I slowly shook my head, feeling lost... I didn't know how to respond because it was the
first time I admitted these feelings out loud, and my worst fear was coming true: I was
being judged.
"I'm not crazy," I assured him, pushing him away with a shove of my hands.
Nicholas quickly denied it.
"No, of course you're not, love, but you've been through things that most people can't
even imagine, and I think you don't know how to cope... Noah, I just want you to be
happy, okay? I'll always be by your side, but I can't fight your demons. That's
something you have to do on your own."
"By going to some shrink?" I retorted rudely.
"Psychologist, not a shrink," he corrected me gently as he approached me again. "I
went to one, you know? When I was a kid... after my mother left, I started having
insomnia. I couldn't sleep or eat properly… I was so saddened that I couldn't overcome
it on my own. Sometimes talking to someone who doesn't know you can help gain
perspective... do it for me, sweetheart, I need you to at least try."
He was so saddened that he couldn't overcome it on his own. Sometimes talking to
someone who doesn't know you can help gain perspective... do it for me, sweetheart, I
need you to at least try.
He seemed so concerned about me... and deep down, I knew he was right. I couldn't
continue like this, being afraid of the dark and haunted by those nightmares almost
every night...
"Please," he pleaded.
I watched him for a moment, and suddenly, I felt grateful to have him by my side. I
knew that without him, I wouldn't have had the courage to make that decision.
"Okay, I'll go," I finally said.
I felt his relieved sigh on my lips as he leaned in firmly to kiss me.
I didn't want to go back home. My mother would be furious, and the last thing I wanted
to do in that moment was to face her.
"I messed up, didn't I?" I said, running my hands over my face as we drove back in his
car.
I felt his fingers caress the back of my neck as he kept his eyes on the road.
"Maybe in the way you told her, but at least you did it," he replied.
I turned to look at him. God... we were going to live together, for real, it was happening,
and it would be imminent. If I wanted, I could pack my things that very day and walk out
the door, starting a new life with him.
Nick parked by the entrance of the house. It seemed that the senator and his daughter
had already left because there were no other cars besides Will's and my mother's.
Mine was left at the cemetery... Nick had been adamant that I shouldn't go back for it
alone, and he told me that Steve would retrieve it the next day.
Reluctantly stepping out of the car, with an uncomfortable heaviness in the center of
my chest, I rested my elbow on the armrest and my face against the window. The day
had been horrible.
"Come here," Nick said, pulling me towards him and making me sit on his lap, with my
feet resting on the other seat. He wrapped his arms around me, and I rested my cheek
in the hollow of his neck. "Everything is going to be alright, love."
I closed my eyes and let his words calm me.
"About Sophia... I know I shouldn't have reacted that way, but she's the girl who got
Jenna out of jail, and you didn't even tell me you had a coworker..."
"You have nothing to worry about, Noah. I don't feel anything for Sophia or anyone else
but you... How could you even think that?"
I tilted my head slightly and placed my lips against the soft skin of his collarbone. He
smelled so good... and I felt so safe in his arms..., in those strong arms that protected
me from everyone and yet cradled me as if they could break me.
"Stay with me tonight," I whispered, knowing that it meant facing his father in the
morning.
"Of course," he replied, and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

34

NICK

In the morning, I left home very early, loaded with two huge suitcases belonging to
Noah. I didn't have time to deal with our parents before going to work, and I didn't want
them to spoil the happiness of knowing that we had already started the move and that
Noah and I would finally be living together very soon.
As soon as I arrived, I went straight to the coffee lounge. I had barely had time to eat
breakfast and I was starving. Just as I finished my second cup and wiped my mouth
with a napkin, Sophia made an appearance.
I looked at her, knowing that I had left her hanging the previous night, although it wasn't
really my responsibility; besides, she was with her father. I greeted her with a nod and
walked past her, intending to leave.
She stood in my way and looked at me defiantly.
"Do you know what's the most amusing thing about being invited to a dinner you
absolutely don't feel like attending and then being left alone with your father, your boss,
and his wife?"
I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. The truth was, seen that way, it was actually
funny. A part of me enjoyed seeing her so angry.
"I'm all ears, Aiken," I said, leaning on the table and crossing my arms.
"The fact that the three of them haven't stopped spouting nonsense about what a great
lawyer you are, the bright future ahead of you, the responsible and mature son you've
become..."
The smile that had already formed on my face almost immediately disappeared.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Sophia raised her eyebrows and walked around me to approach the coffee machine. I
turned, waiting for an answer.
“Apparently, my father thinks it would be a great idea for you and me to work together
in the future... and you know what I mean by "work" ”.
I opened my eyes, feeling an intense heat within me.
"What nonsense did they put in your head? Did my father say I was a responsible and
mature son? I don't know what the hell you took before dinner last night, but I'm sure
you heard wrong: my father can't stand me."
Sophia turned to look at me again, her red-painted lips taking a slow sip of coffee.
"My father loves finding me boyfriends; apparently, it's his favorite pastime. And William
Leister's son has caught his attention, but it wasn't just him. Your stepmother did too.
Anyone who hears her talk about you would think she adores you, although I suspect
it's not that she loves the idea of you sleeping with her daughter... and even less that
you're going to live with her."
I clenched my fists tightly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That woman was going
to ruin me. How the hell did she dare to insinuate that I could even be interested in
Sophia, let alone when I have her daughter to compare her to? What kind of mother
tries to get the guy her daughter is in love with involved with someone else?
I squeezed the plastic cup between my fingers, rendering it useless, trying to control
the anger that threatened to drive me insane. Not only had she played with us, but she
had also disrespected us.
Sophia approached me with a slightly more relaxed expression on her face.
"It's obvious that you care about her, Nick," she said, placing a hand on my forearm.
"But I'm telling you from experience that having a relationship that so many people are
willing to destroy... usually doesn't end well."
With that, she walked away without saying anything more.
I brought my hands to my face, trying to calm myself and once again trying to ignore all
the things that threatened to destroy Noah and me. Since the previous night, since I
had realized how affected Noah was because of her father, a fear that was hard to
ignore had taken hold of me. It was one thing to fight tooth and nail against third parties
who were determined to break us up, but it was a completely different thing to fight
against Noah and her inner demons. And now that I understood that no one but us was
going to make our relationship work, I couldn't help but fear that the effort we were
putting in might not be enough. I could endure anything, I could keep pushing through
until the end—I would never stop doing it. I loved that girl with such desperation that
just the thought of being without her drove me crazy. But what if Noah allowed herself
to be swayed by third parties? And not just people... what if that wall that wavered from
time to time but never quite broke down became even higher, preventing me from
reaching her in the way I knew was necessary?
I only had one thing clear: no one but Noah was going to keep me away from her side,
no one.
It was late in the afternoon when my boss walked through the door. Sophia was
packing her things into her bag, and I was shutting down my laptop.
"I have good news for both of you," he announced, looking at both of us with a smile.
"I'm dying of curiosity," I said sarcastically. It was well known that Jenkins, the bastard,
and I hated each other to death. Mainly because he occupied my position until I had
enough experience to replace him, and he knew very well that his so-called prestigious
position was more than temporary.
Sophia paused and looked at him with a peculiar gleam in her eyes. Sophia loved our
boss, and unlike me, she went out of her way to do her job perfectly in order to climb
the corporate ladder and secure a more important position.
"There have been two dropouts in the Rogers case tomorrow, and they've asked us to
send someone from here. If I remember correctly, Nicholas, you wanted that case, but
you gave it up because to pursue it, you had to stay in San Francisco. Well, the hard
work has already been done; you just have to show up in court and assist in the
defense. It will be quick, and I'm sure you can learn a lot from a case like this."
"That's great, sir! When do we need to be there?" Sophia seemed so excited that I
wouldn't have been surprised if she started jumping.
"I've booked two tickets for tomorrow morning."
"Shit!"
"So soon? You can't give us such short notice. We have lives, you know?"
Jenkins ignored the tone of my voice and continued speaking calmly.
"Even if it's hard for you to accept, Nicholas, the world doesn't revolve around you. The
case is tomorrow afternoon, so you need to be there as soon as possible. If you
disagree, I'm sure your father will be happy to hear your complaints."
I stood up slowly and rested my fists on the table.
"I recommend you don't bring up my father right now, J, because I'm not sure you'd
enjoy eating cement."
A look of displeasure formed on his face, and I knew I was abusing my power as the
boss's son. But it was either that or actually punch him, which could lead to serious
problems for us.
"Someday, reality will hit you hard, Nicholas, and when that happens, I'll be delighted to
witness it," he said without giving me a chance to reply. Then he turned to Sophia. "Be
at the airport by five, and you better not screw it up, or one of you will find yourselves
out of a job!"
With that, he left, leaving me with the urge to rearrange his face.
Sophia's face appeared in front of me, and I had to focus my gaze to pay attention to
what she was saying.
"... I'll be the one paying the consequences. Did you hear me? Control yourself
because I'm not going to lose my job because of you!"
I deliberately ignored what she was saying and stormed out of the office, slamming the
door behind me.
Who was I supposed to tell Noah now that I had to go to San Francisco with the same
girl she was jealous of and that our parents had tried to match me with?

35

NOAH

The silence my mother seemed to be taking refuge in didn't bode well. That calm
before the storm worried me. As I continued packing, finishing up everything, Jenna
took it upon herself to list all the bad things that could happen if I moved in with Nick.
That's when I knew I had to start ignoring anyone who wanted to give their opinion
about my relationship.
Jenna had her anti-romanticism mode on; ever since she broke up with Lion, she had
gone from a sea of tears to a staunch feminist, claiming that women were more than
capable of moving forward in life without a man by their side, that today's world was
meant to be enjoyed without any kind of attachment. And to top it all off, "screw Lion"
had become her favorite phrase in the past few days.
"I was excited at the thought that now that we were going to the same college, we
would go out at night, join sororities, and do all those newbie college girl things," she
said, helping me pack things into boxes.
"I'll still go to college, Jenna, except instead of living in a dorm, I'll be living with my
boyfriend."
Jenna rolled her eyes.
"As if Nicholas would let you go out partying until the early hours..."
I looked up and stared at her.
"Nick is not my father; I can go wherever I want," I replied firmly.
"You say that now, but once you get used to it, you'll be one of those friends who are
never seen because they're always with their boyfriends."
I let out a bitter laugh.
Jenna looked at me, holding one of my books in her hand.
"Breaking up with Lion is the best thing that could have happened to me," she
declared, and I realized she was trying to convince herself more than me. "Now I do
what I want, I don't argue with anyone, except for my idiot little brothers. I don't have to
feel guilty for being who I am. It means I've rented one of the coolest rooms in the
dorm, one of those that cost a fortune and even has its own kitchen... Yes, you heard it
right. And you know what I bought today?" she said, lifting the hem of her tight long
skirt. "See these sandals?"
I nodded, letting her vent... in her own way.
"Do you know how much they cost?"
"No, and I don't want to know," I replied, getting up from the floor and folding a blanket
to place it in a box.
"Well, they cost about six hundred dollars. Yes, sir! I've spent that much on these
sandals that I probably won't be able to wear in a few weeks because it'll be cold and
my feet will get wet."
"It makes sense," I agreed, playing along.
"Of course it does because even though I've learned, by seeing how hard my
ex-boyfriend worked, how he toiled to maintain his job and his house, even though I
know that money doesn't grow on trees and that there are many people who are
struggling, I know that almost all of them, if they were in my position, that's exactly
what they would do. So why should I be such an idiot not to take advantage of the fact
that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth?"
I looked up and stared at her.
"Because I have everything I want, right? I can buy whatever I want, choose which
university to attend. In fact, did you know that my father has decided to buy a private
jet? Yes, you heard it right. Let me know when you want me to take you somewhere...
because I'm a millionaire, and apparently, money is the only thing that matters to me..."
Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, and I took a step forward.
Quickly and wiping away the tear that had slid down her cheek, betraying her, she
pointed at me with the book she had in her hand.
"I'm perfectly fine," she asserted sharply.
Unlike many people, Jenna and I had something in common, and that was that we
didn't like to openly show our feelings. If we cried, it was because we were truly upset,
and by that, I mean she had to be lying to herself a lot to cry in front of me.
"I know you don't want to talk about it, Jenn, but I believe this is only going to be
temporary. Lion loves you madly, and you know-"
"Don't go there, Noah," she interrupted me again abruptly. "It's over between us. I
refuse to go back to that vicious cycle. We belong to different worlds, so forget about it.
Right now, I only want to hear about how much we're going to get drunk every Friday
and all the hot guys we're going to meet."
I didn't want to remind her that I wasn't single, but I let it slide. If what she needed at
that moment was a party friend by her side, that's what I would give her. Always in
moderation, of course.
She didn't stay long, and I took the opportunity to call Nick. We hadn't spoken since he
left the night before, and I needed to know when he would come to pick me up the next
day. There were still a few things I wanted to take with me, and I preferred to rely on
his physical strength rather than carrying everything myself.
His answering machine picked up, so I left him a message letting him know that I would
need him the next day and to call me when he listened to it.
Just as I was about to take off my clothes, take a shower, and get into bed to spend the
last night in that house, my mother showed up, and the expression on her face as she
entered made me brace myself for a heated argument.
"I was expecting you to come talk to me and confess that what you said at dinner was
a tasteless joke."
"It's not a joke, Mom," I replied, crossing my arms.
My mother glanced at all the suitcases and scattered boxes on the floor that I planned
to take with me.
"I've done my best not to interfere in your relationship with Nicholas. In fact, I was
ready to tolerate it. But you've crossed a red line without considering us, me or William,
and I won't tolerate it."
I didn't like the way she was talking to me; it was as if she was addressing a stranger
instead of me, and I understood how angry she was. Her words only fueled my anger
at how she meddled in my life.
I was fed up.
"This is not something I have to discuss with you. It's my life, and you have to learn to
let me make my own mistakes and decisions."
"It will be your life when you're capable of being independent and have a job to support
yourself. Do you hear me?"
I remained silent. That had been a low blow, and she knew it. The money she was
talking about wasn't even hers.
"You were the one who brought me here!" I exclaimed, realizing where this
conversation was heading. "For once, I am happy. I've found someone who loves me,
and you can't even be happy for me!"
"I won't let you go and live with your stepbrother at eighteen."
"I'm an adult! When will you understand that?!"
My mother took several deep breaths.
"I'm not going to engage in this game, I'm not going to argue with you, under any
circumstances. And let me make one thing clear, if you move in with Nicholas, forget
about going to college."
I opened my eyes, unable to believe what I was hearing.
"What?"
My mother stared at me without a hint of doubt in her gaze.
"I won't pay for your education, and I won't give you any money for-"
"It's William who pays for all of that!" I shouted, losing control. My mother was behaving
like a complete stranger. What the hell was she saying?
"I have discussed it with William. You're my daughter, and he will accept whatever
decision I make regarding you. If I tell him not to pay you anything, he won't pay you
anything."
"You've completely lost your mind," I said, feeling the weight of her words.
"You think you can have it all, but it doesn't work that way. You take an inch and grab
an arm, and I won't allow it."
"I'll apply for a scholarship because I'm leaving with Nicholas. You can keep your
money and your husband's money, I don't care."
My mother shook her head, looking at me as if I were five years old, and I started
feeling an intense heat inside me, fueled by seeing that she was serious.
"You won't get any scholarship. According to the law, you're the stepdaughter of a
millionaire. Stop talking nonsense and behaving like a spoiled brat."
"I can't believe you're doing this to me," I admitted, feeling a pain in my chest.
She seemed to hesitate as I felt my lip tremble slightly. This was the last thing I needed
right now.
"Believe it or not, I want what's best for you."
I let out a laugh.
"You're selfish!" I snapped at her. "You keep saying that you're doing all this for me
when you forced me to leave my country to marry a stranger. You promised me a bright
future, and now that I finally have everything I've ever wanted, now that I'm finally
happy, you have to snatch it away from me and threaten to take away the only thing
I've asked for and truly care about since we arrived a year ago."
"You'll have everything you want; you just have to move to a damn residence. It's not
like you won't see Nicholas ever again. Besides, I'm sure this wasn't your idea!"
"So what if it wasn't! I had made up my mind!" I reproached her and moved away from
her, going to the other side of the room. "If you force me to do this, I won't forgive you."
My mother didn't seem to hear my words; she just stood there, arms crossed, without a
hint of doubt.
"Either college or Nicholas, you decide."
It didn't take me two seconds to give my response.
"I choose Nicholas."
Thirty minutes later, I had loaded the suitcases into the car. I couldn't believe my
mother had blackmailed me, and with Nicholas of all people. She had locked herself in
her room and hadn't come out since. I don't think she even realized how serious I was.
I was so angry that I didn't care about leaving the Leister's house without looking back.
There was a particular Leister who mattered more to me than all the crap my mother
seemed intent on putting between us.
I would find a solution; somehow I would get the money even if it meant working nights.
Sitting in the car still in the garage at home, I called Nick. I had been trying to reach
him since my mother locked herself in her room. Finally, he answered the phone.
"I'm sorry, freckles. I thought I'd be able to make it back in time, but it didn't work out."
I remained silent, not understanding anything at all.
"What are you talking about? Where are you?"
"I had to leave early this morning heading to San Francisco. We've been assigned a
very important case, and I thought I could catch the flight back tonight, but I don't think
I'll be back for several days."
I felt a strange pain in my chest. He wasn't here... he wasn't here to give me a hug and
tell me everything would be alright.
The pain gave way to something easier to bear, and everything I had been holding in
decided to come out at that moment.
"You're in San Francisco, and you didn't call me to let me know?!"
"I was planning to come back today, and I didn't think it was important. Why are you
yelling at me?"
I saw everything red, very red.
"What if I went to another city without telling you? What would you have done?"
I knew I was taking it out on him for everything that had just happened, but I needed
him in that moment. I had left everything behind to be with him, and he wasn't even
here to welcome me and help me with the suitcases. He wasn't here, he wasn't here,
and that was all that mattered to me!
"Damn it, okay! I understand where you're coming from, but we were informed
unexpectedly."
"We?" I asked, feeling a knot forming in my stomach.
Nicholas remained silent for a few seconds.
"She's my internship partner, nothing more."
Uncontrollable jealousy took over my rational thinking.
"God, that's why you didn't tell me...! You knew I would get angry."
I heard him curse on the other end of the line.
"Can you calm down? You're acting like a child."
"Fuck you," I snapped and hung up.
I threw the phone onto the driver's seat and punched the steering wheel, feeling like a
complete idiot. Was this how things were going to be from now on? Was he going to
San Francisco with Sophia while I stayed in his apartment, with no money and no
studying?
Damn it! Everything was getting complicated too quickly, and the fear of not being able
to go to college made a few tears escape from my eyes. I hadn't hesitated for a
moment in choosing Nicholas, but there was something my mother was right about: he
was nearly five years older than me... Soon he would be working and inheriting his
father's company, but what about me?
I had absolutely nothing, and I didn't want Nicholas to pay for everything. If I stayed in
that apartment, I would lose much more than just my career. I would lose my
independence because I was sure Nick would help me if I asked him, but how could I
face each morning knowing that my boyfriend was not only paying for the rent but also
my tuition?
I had always been independent, and if my mother hadn't married Will, I could have
probably applied for a scholarship to study at a college. Now, being someone so
important's stepdaughter, they wouldn't give me a penny, and studying in the United
States wasn't cheap. I was going to drown in debt, no matter how hard I worked.
As the anger subsided and gave way to anxiety, I realized that as much as I wanted to
live with Nick, as much as I wished to stay there, wake up by his side, I couldn't do it
until I could be completely independent. My mother was right about that: no matter how
old I was, if I didn't have money to start my life, she had the final say.
Looking at it from a different perspective, it was crazy to go live with him. The rent was
seven thousand dollars, it had already seemed insane to me when he told me, I had
already felt uncomfortable knowing that I couldn't afford it, I couldn't even pay a quarter
of the monthly cost...
My phone kept ringing.
I looked at it and saw missed calls from both Nick and my mother.
What was I going to do? My mother's question echoed in my head over and over
again.
The answer was clear: moving in with Nick would have to wait... at least for now.
I got out of the car and went back up to my room. I rummaged through the drawer
where I had left the admission letter to the residence until I found it, and I read all the
information. I was supposed to have confirmed the reservation a week ago in order to
be assigned a room. I felt like I was suffocating. What the hell was I going to do now? I
sat on the bed and felt my heart racing and my breathing becoming increasingly
difficult. I was drowning, fear was overpowering me.
"Calm down. There has to be a solution."
Right at that moment, I heard the front door of the house. Will had come back early
from work, and my mother was going to tell him that I had chosen to live with Nick
rather than pursue a college degree. I took a deep breath. If they were going to
separate me from him, the least they could do was find me a residence. Determined, I
wiped away my tears with my hand and left my room ready to bring order to my life.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt strange. The previous day, I had woken up
happy knowing that I would be living with my boyfriend, and now I had a knot in my
stomach at the thought of moving in with a complete stranger. After communicating my
decision to my mother and Will the night before, Nick's father had made a few calls and
finally managed to find me a place to live. He said he couldn't find an apartment just for
me, but he found a spot in a luxury residence where I would have my own room and
share the kitchen with another girl. Will seemed satisfied with that, so I imagined it was
the best I could hope for.
I got up and turned on my phone. Nick had stopped calling me around one in the
morning, although I had turned off my phone long before that. As childish as it was, a
part of me blamed him for not being here with me... I couldn't help it, I was consumed
by jealousy and overwhelmed by the whole issue with my mother and college.
I waited until Will left the house, and then I came out of my room to have breakfast. I
didn't feel like seeing him or my mother. As I was finishing my coffee, I received
another call from Nick, and I finally decided to answer.
"Hello," I greeted nervously, biting my nail.
I heard silence on the other end of the line.
"Do you think it's reasonable to ignore my calls all night?"
Okay, I knew we weren't going to have a pleasant conversation, but I wasn't willing to
endure his anger, not that day.
"Neither of us is reasonable, so I can't answer your question."
"I didn't call you to argue, Noah, so I'm not going to engage in this game. I just wanted
to let you know that I'll be arriving in five days. Things here weren't as we were led to
believe."
"Five days?" I asked, aware of how pitiful my voice sounded now.
"I know, I won't even be there when you start college, and I'm sorry, okay? I didn't plan
for you to move alone, let alone have to stay in the apartment without me, but I can't do
anything about it."
I took a deep breath. I had to tell him, I had to confess that I wouldn't be living with him
anymore, but I feared his reaction. He was capable of calling my mother or doing
something crazy. I knew it would hit him hard like a punch in the stomach, so I
preferred to go along with it and tell him in person when he arrived. The conversation
ended somewhat tense on both ends, and when we hung up, I felt myself sinking into
deep sadness.
Two hours later, Jenna and her father came to pick me up. I was too angry with my
mother to ask her for help with the move, so when Jenna offered, I couldn't do anything
but accept, feeling utterly grateful. I had only seen Mr. Tavish on two occasions—he
was constantly traveling around the world—but I knew he adored Jenna, which was
why he canceled all his meetings to take his daughter to college. He didn't seem
bothered by having to pick me up and help me cram almost all my things into his
Mercedes. I have no idea how we managed to fit both my stuff and Jenna's, but in the
end, and feeling a bit cramped, I managed to fasten my seatbelt and wait to arrive at
what would be my new residence.
I had been to the University of California before. Nick was studying here, so I had been
to some of the fraternity parties or simply visited him many times. Sometimes I had
brought my books with me and spent hours studying in the immense library, amazed to
know that there were over eight million books arranged on all those shelves. I knew the
library was going to be one of my favorite places, but the university as a whole was
incredible. With its red brick buildings and vast gardens, it was one of the most
prestigious in the United States. Getting in hadn't been easy; I had to put in maximum
effort to secure a spot, and I was proud that I hadn't relied on Will's connections. Now
that we had arrived, I couldn't help but feel a certain regret for not experiencing it with
my mother. It should have been her bringing me to my residence, not Jenna's father,
and I would have liked Nick to be here too, to show me around the campus and to
share in the excitement I saw reflected in all the students around us. Jenna was
excited, but I could also see sadness in her eyes.
Where were our boyfriends?

36

NICK

I was sitting in the lobby of the hotel where we were staying. There was no Wi-Fi in the
rooms, so I had to go down to the reception area and share my time with strangers. It
was already late, so I took out my phone and checked for the fourth time if Noah had
sent me a goodnight message. I didn't like how our conversation from the previous day
had ended, and even though she didn't start classes until the next day, I wanted to wish
her luck on her first day. I was well aware that she would be trying to sleep and might
be having nightmares. I loved knowing that I was the only one capable of preventing
her from having them, and for that same reason, I hated it when she slept alone.
For me, it was a relief that she had agreed to see a psychologist, and I had been
researching childhood traumas and how to overcome them on the internet. I had a list
of the best psychologists in the city, and I had already called about five of them to talk
to them about the issue. I wanted Noah to be herself, without fears or anything that
would hold her back from being completely happy, and if I had to pay a fortune for
hours of therapy, I would.
Sometimes I thought about what she had suffered at the hands of her father, and an
unpleasant shiver ran down my spine. My hand clenched into a fist almost
unconsciously, and I had to take a deep breath to calm down. Right at that moment, I
saw Sophia out of the corner of my eye, carrying her Mac and those black glasses that,
for some inexplicable reason, made me smile – they looked terrible on her.
"What's up, Leister?"
"Aiken," I replied, returning my gaze to my screen.
I only glanced at her for a second, but I noticed she sat down next to me on the long
white sofa. We had been together there for two days, and I had to admit it wasn't how I
had imagined it at first. She might have seemed superficial and quite uptight, but she
wasn't at all. In fact, she could be quite funny when she wanted to be. Being
surrounded by men—there were five of us working on this case and she was the only
woman—she did everything possible not to draw attention to herself. She didn't want to
be treated differently.
"Don't you feel like going out for some junk food?" she asked after fiddling with her
laptop and closing it with a thud.
I raised my eyebrows and looked at her.
"You? Junk food?" I said, putting my phone in my pocket. No news from Noah. "I don't
think you know what that is."
She made a face, put her laptop in her bag, and got up, revealing that she wasn't
wearing high heels but simple white sandals.
"I feel like having a Big Mac, and I'm going with or without you. I was telling you
because the food at this place sucks, so it's up to you. Are you coming or not?"
I hesitated for a moment, but she was right: the food was awful.
"Fine, but I warn you, I'm not great company today," I agreed, getting up and heading
towards the exit. Sophia stood by my side, and I could see how short she was without
those shoes she always wore.
She burst out laughing.
"Not today, not ever, Leister. I don't think I've ever seen you relaxed since I've known
you. You should get that checked."
I ignored her comment, and we went to the parking lot.
"What do you think you're doing?" I asked her when I saw her pulling out some keys
from her pocket.
"I rented the car, Nicholas," was her only explanation.
"Sorry, sweetheart, but I'll be the one driving," I said as I quickly snatched the keys
from her hand before she even realized.
To my surprise, my actions didn't lead to an argument. Sophia shrugged and sat in the
passenger seat.
In return, I let her choose the music, and we listened to 80s songs throughout the
entire journey from the hotel to the restaurant. The weather outside was quite pleasant,
although in San Francisco, it was colder than what we were used to in Los Angeles.
While many people found the city's steep streets bothersome, to me, they were what
made it special, along with the colorful houses, each with a distinguished charm that
pleased the eyes.
I wanted to bring Noah here to see the city. There were so many places I wanted her to
experience... Since we started dating, I had only been able to take her to the Bahamas,
and it was best not to dwell on how things had ended there.
I avoided thinking about her for a while and parked the car in front of a restaurant I had
discovered during a previous week-long stay in San Francisco.
"This isn't a McDonald's," Sophia observed from my side as she unbuckled her
seatbelt.
"I don't eat at McDonald's," I replied, turning off the car and laughing when she gave
me a disapproving look. "Come on, Soph, this place serves the best homemade
burgers in the city. Otherwise, I wouldn't have brought you here."
Sophia raised her eyebrows condescendingly and slapped my arm.
"I've told you a thousand times not to call me Soph," she protested. Then she got out of
the car, and I followed suit.
"Sorry, Soph."
I burst into laughter at her expression but decided to leave her alone. A waiter attended
to us immediately and seated us at a secluded table on the other side of the restaurant.
I didn't like that people assumed we were a couple, but I couldn't get into people's
minds, so I let it slide.
"I hope the burgers here are better than the CBO, or you're going to see me really
mad."
In the end, she had to eat her words because, as I knew, the burgers were amazing.
"So, in the end, you're going to live together," she asked me after we had talked about
various things, mostly work-related, until we unintentionally steered the conversation
towards Noah's topic. "Despite her parents not allowing it, right?"
"Her mother," I clarified, and continued, "It seems like everyone forgets that she's of
legal age and can make her own decisions freely."
Sophia nodded, although she made a gesture indicating otherwise.
"She's just a kid, Nick," she asserted, bringing her drink to her lips.
"Maturity is not tied to some damn number, but to the experiences we've had and the
things we've learned from them."
"And no one is telling you otherwise, but you can't forget that she's about to start
college, that she'll want to do things like any other girl her age, and if I'm not mistaken,
you seem to be the typical controlling boyfriend."
I placed my elbows on the table and casually rested my chin on my hands.
"I take care of what's mine, that's all."
Sophia seemed displeased with my words.
"That's a pretty sexist mindset, she's not yours."
I pressed my lips together tightly.
"Are you going to give me a feminist lecture, Soph?"
"As a woman trying to make her way in a company completely dominated by men, I
could give you one, but that's not the point. Your problem is trust: if you were truly
confident in how much she loves you, you wouldn't be trying by all means to take her to
your place, going against your entire family in the process. In my opinion, it's a pretty
stupid move on your part."
"She needs me by her side, and I need her too. There's no hidden reason. You have no
idea."
Sophia shook her head and locked her eyes with mine.
"I just know that having you as a boyfriend would be the last thing on my list."
"I'm the kind of boyfriend every girl would want, beautiful," I replied, looking at her
intently. She started laughing, and I smiled.
Clearly, I wasn't the best boyfriend by any means, but at least I was trying.
That gave me an idea.
"Just to show you what a great boyfriend I am," I said, taking out my phone and
opening the browser, "What do you think of blue roses? They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Sophia rolled her eyes as I placed the order. Nowadays, technology made our lives
much easier.
"They're gorgeous," she remarked, taking a sip of her drink.
I tapped on "Buy," entered the address, and wrote a short note.
When I pocketed my phone, I had a mischievous smile on my face.
"A dozen blue roses?" she asked me.
"Two; it's good to reinforce the message, make it stick."
"And what's the message, that you're an arrogant jerk?"
I ignored her words.
"That I love her more than anyone."
After dinner, we returned to the hotel. Despite my reservations and knowing that it
could bring me a lot of trouble if I said it out loud, Sophia wasn't a bad company. Lion
was caught up in his own mess, and Jenna was Noah's best friend, so I had no
impartial friend left to talk about my things. Not that I was much of a talker in general,
but I enjoyed talking to Sophia and discovering that there were people who had a
normal life. From what she had told me, her parents were still together, she had an
older brother who was a successful architect, and her father was a respected politician
across most democratic parties, maybe even a future president. Who knew how things
could turn out?
It was nice to escape from all the drama that was my life normally, and her company
helped me relax and see my problems from a different perspective. Things weren't
going so bad... With Noah living with me, everything would be easier. At least she
would sleep peacefully, and if she did what I had asked, one of the best psychologists
would help her confront the issues with her late father.
Things could get better, and I couldn't wait to go back and show her that we could
make it, that we could fight against everyone, that together we formed the best team.

37

NOAH

My first day at college was better than I expected. The university atmosphere was
something that got into your veins and couldn't be ignored. Wherever I looked, there
were young people, laughing, unloading furniture from cars to take them to their dorms,
parents saying goodbye, and flyers about parties, parties, and more parties.
My schedule was quite reasonable, with subjects that finally interested me and not all
those absurd things we had to learn in school, like Newton's laws or the Independence
Day. I wanted books, literature, I wanted to write, I wanted to read. Finally, I found
myself surrounded by people who loved the same things as me, and the professors,
some more intimidating than others, managed to make us feel that nervous excitement
in our stomachs.
I have to admit that for a few minutes, I enjoyed being alone. I didn't want to talk to
anyone, at least not anyone I knew, not my mother, not Jenna, and not even Nicholas,
although the reasons why I didn't want to communicate with him were different.
Sometimes leaving everything behind and starting from scratch makes you realize that
there's not just one open door, but also many other windows.
I had hardly seen Jenna since she dropped me off at my dorm, as she attended
completely different classes from mine. Jenna Tavish wanted to study medicine, which
didn't suit her at all but had been her desire since she was very young. We had only
communicated through messages, and she had told me that she was busy looking for
a roommate willing to pay the exorbitant monthly cost. It wouldn't be too difficult for her,
as the rich kids were abundant everywhere.
After finishing class, getting to know the professors, and being invited to have dinner
with some guys from the dorm, I decided to stop by Nick's apartment. Mainly, I wanted
to make sure that N had enough food and also to take everything I still had there. I had
been trying to postpone this task mostly because it saddened me to go and retrieve my
things, but I wanted to do it before he returned. I knew that all hell would break loose,
and I preferred to have everything ready and perfectly settled in my dorm before facing
him. This way, I could also avoid the temptation of throwing it all to hell and going back
to live with my boyfriend.
It didn't take me long to gather the few things I had left. Once I had them all stacked up
at the door, I realized it was late to go back to the dorm. Knowing that I was cheating
and that I should stop holding onto something I couldn't have—at least not now—I got
into Nick's bed, lay down on his side, and hugged his pillow, inhaling that unique scent
that only he had, which caused instant reactions in my body.
A text message arrived on my phone right then.
It seems you've decided to ignore my calls. We'll talk when I get there. Sleep well,
darling.
I sighed.
Things were strange, mostly because of me. I felt a knot in my stomach and almost
dialed his number to confess why I hadn't wanted to talk to him. Hoping he would
believe that I was asleep and that's why I didn't respond, I tucked my phone under the
pillow and closed my eyes, hoping to get some rest.
The sound of the doorbell woke me up in the morning. A little disoriented, I looked
around to figure out where I was. The doorbell rang again, and I jumped out of bed,
getting tangled up in the sheets and almost tripping until I could reach the door.
As I opened it, I was greeted by a huge bouquet of roses.
"Are you Noah Morgan?" asked the voice of a man whose face was hidden behind that
spectacular bouquet.
"Y-yes," I managed to articulate.
—This is for you," he said, taking a step forward. I let him enter, stunned by what my
eyes saw. The man placed the impressive bouquet on the living room table and pulled
out a receipt notebook from his back pocket.
"If you could sign here, I would appreciate it," he kindly asked.
I did as requested, and when he left, I stared at the roses with a lump in my throat.
There was a note, and as I read it, I had to hold back tears with all my strength.
We both know that these cheesy things are not my style, darling, but I love you with all
my heart, and I know that when I arrive, we're going to start something new and
special. Living with you is something I've desired since we started dating, and one year
later, I've finally achieved what I wanted. I hope your first day was magnificent, and I'm
sorry I wasn't there with you to see how you impressed all your new professors. See
you in a few days, I love you. Nick.
I picked up the phone from the table and dialed his number.
"Hello, love," he greeted me cheerfully.
I sat on the armrest of the couch, my gaze fixed on those stunning flowers. They were
beautiful, a light blue color that reminded me of Nick's eyes. I didn't even know that
roses came in that shade.
"You're crazy," I said with a trembling voice.
I heard a lot of noise on the other end of the line, mainly from traffic.
"Crazy for you. Did you like the flowers?"
"I love them. They're beautiful," I declared, wanting to bury myself in his arms and hide
from everything.
"How was your first day of classes?"
I briefly told him what I had done, avoiding mentioning my dorm or my roommate. The
truth was, I had never been good at hiding information, and that's why I wanted to end
the conversation before he discovered something.
"I have to hang up if I don't want to be late for class," I said, biting the inside of my
cheek.
—I know something's bothering you, I don't know if it's because of Sophia or because I
had to leave just when you were moving, but I'll make it up to you, okay?
I quickly said goodbye to him and tucked the phone under the sofa cushion. I felt
terrible, terrible because I was lying to him and also because I would be responsible for
his disappointment when he returned and realized that we wouldn't be living together.
Hating myself for it, I quickly got dressed, fed and watered N for the next few days, and
gathered my remaining belongings from the apartment. As I turned off the lights, I knew
there would be chaos when he returned and didn't find me there.
I had three days to come up with a persuasion plan.
The next two days were spent going from one class to another and hanging out with
some classmates. I had only spoken to my mother once, and that was because she
had threatened to show up at the university if I didn't answer her calls. We hadn't
resolved anything; things were still the same between us, and they would remain that
way for quite some time, at least until I felt capable of forgiving her for blackmailing me.
I was sitting in the university cafeteria, chatting with Jenna, who had finally found a
roommate named Amber. Amber worked for a local tech company and managed to
balance her job with classes, earning enough to live with Jenna, which was quite an
achievement.
"When is Nick coming back?" she asked me as I finished my salad.
"Tomorrow night," I mumbled. I didn't want to talk about it.
Jenna looked at me amusedly; for some twisted reason, she found the situation I was
in funny.
"And does he know that you're living with a stranger in a campus apartment?"
I looked up and stared at her with annoyance.
"He'll know when he arrives and I tell him. I don't want to talk about Nick. Repeat the
plan for tonight again, I didn't quite get it."
Jenna rolled her eyes but quickly became excited.
—The party is being hosted by some guys from my class, they're part of a fraternity,
and it's a welcome party for the start of the semester. From what I know, there are
several parties happening tonight, but everyone is looking forward to the one hosted by
the health sector. I'll be surrounded by handsome doctors and lots of people who
understand that medicine is the future of humanity, not physics or literature... no
offense, of course," she added when she saw my expression.
"Okay, I'll go with you, but I'll leave no later than midnight. I need to have all my energy
to face Nick tomorrow."
Jenna laughed, gathered her books, and got up from the table.
"See you in a few hours. Get yourself dolled up," she winked at me and swayed her
hips as she walked away. Jenna being single was something new to me; since I had
known her, she had been with Lion, and I assumed that before him, she had been quite
liberal.
Unlike the previous parties I had attended, which were all held in huge beachfront
houses with wealthy people, at this party I finally had the opportunity to interact with
people from different backgrounds, both geographically and socially. That was the
beauty of public education—it wasn't elitist. I had never felt entirely comfortable
surrounded by wealthy people because I had never been one, and I still wasn't, despite
what my mother insisted. I enjoyed the feeling of finally fitting in. It didn't take me long
to find Jenna, who was with Amber in a corner of the kitchen, drinking beer. My eyes
widened in surprise when I saw her holding a Budweiser. I would have loved to take a
picture and tease her about it later, but she seemed so at ease that I decided to spare
her any snide comments.
"Noah!" she called out my name as she saw me enter. I walked over to her, and she
enveloped me in one of her tight hugs.
It was the first time I saw Amber, and she seemed like someone in Jenna's wild style,
although more reserved, if that made any sense. She smiled at me happily while
nodding her head to the rhythm of the music and engaging in a seductive conversation
with one of the guys next to her.
It didn't take long for me to have a few beers, and before I knew it, I found myself
surrounded by fifty drunk students jumping around in a room where all the furniture had
been cleared. The music was blasting, and nothing else could be heard. Jenna was
jumping and grinding against me. Amber had disappeared a while ago with the
muscular guy.
"I need a break, Jenn!" I shouted, laughing as the crowd cheered upon hearing a
popular song. "I'm going to the kitchen!"
Jenna nodded, actually ignoring me completely, and joined another group to dance.
The room was unbearably hot; I rolled up my sleeves and wiped my forehead. When I
reached the kitchen, they were doing a round of shots.
"Hey, you, rookie!" a guy shouted at me from the other end. "This one's for the beautiful
ladies!"
All the guys in the circle raised their shots to their lips, shouting and laughing. I laughed
too but discreetly made my way to the other side of the kitchen. I leaned against the
table, and before I could take out my phone to check the time, the guy who had
shouted at me stood in front of me.
"Here you go, I see you're a bit thirsty," he said, handing me a small glass and filling it
with an amber liquid.
"I don't think tequila will quench my thirst, but thanks," I replied, accepting what he
offered and proceeded to drink it. The alcohol burned my throat, and I grimaced in
disgust. The guy started laughing, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him casually
standing next to me.
"What's your name?" he asked me as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water.
"Noah," I answered, feeling my head spinning. I shouldn't have had that last shot. I had
had enough with the beers.
"I'm Charlie," he introduced himself amiably. "We're in literature class together. I don't
know if you remember me; I'm usually the one who falls asleep at the back."
I laughed at his comment and admitted that, yes, I recognized him from my classes.
"What brings you here? You're far away from the Shakespearean parties, although it's
clear that the guys from the scientific area are much hotter than the literature
enthusiasts, don't you think?"
I smiled and relaxed, relieved to confirm that he was definitely gay.
"My friend is studying medicine, so I came with her," I explained, shrugging.
Charlie seemed happy to be talking to me, as he spent the next ten minutes chatting
and casually discussing our classes and classmates. I was glad to be making friends
with someone from my class because I hated sitting alone and hadn't exchanged
anything more than a hello and goodbye with anyone so far.
I was laughing out loud at a rather unsettling comment about one of our professors
when his eyes shifted towards the entrance door. A guy had just walked in and spotted
us a few seconds later.
"Great, do you see that guy?" Charlie asked, and I nodded as I observed him giving us
an angry look.
"Just ignore anything he says next," Charlie whispered to me.
I didn't have time to ask him why because the guy reached us in a few strides.
"You're an idiot!" he exclaimed.
"This is what I meant," Charlie commented to me under his breath.
I smiled.
"Hey, behave yourself, there's a lady present," Charlie reprimanded him with a smile on
his face.
"I'm tired of being your babysitter, do you hear me? What are you drinking?"
I discreetly looked at both guys. I would have moved away if they hadn't left me in the
middle. Charlie was blond, slightly taller than me, and slender. On the other hand, the
guy who had just arrived was almost a head taller than both of us, also blond, with
moss-green eyes.
He seemed to want to be anywhere but there, surrounded by teenagers, as it was clear
that he wasn't one.
"I'm drinking water, you idiot," I replied. The tall guy didn't believe it and snatched the
glass from my hand, bringing it closer to his nose to sniff it.
Charlie seemed amused and satisfied at the situation.
"If you stop growling like a rabid dog, I can introduce you to my new friend. Noah, this
is my brother Michael; Michael, this is Noah."
Michael didn't seem remotely interested in me. In fact, I would say he looked at me
with disdain, as if I were a bad influence on his brother or something similar.
Before I could say anything, my phone started ringing. I apologized with a gesture and
went outside to hear better. My heart stopped when I saw fifteen missed calls from
Nicholas. I answered when his name appeared on the screen again.
"Where are you, Noah?"

38

NICK

I grabbed the keys and slammed the door as I left the apartment. There was nothing,
absolutely nothing there. No suitcases, no clothes, not even the few things she usually
left behind when she spent the night here. I could feel myself growing angrier by the
minute, not only because she wasn't here, but because she hadn't answered any of my
recent calls. I hadn't heard from her in three hours, and I didn't plan on calling her
mother to ask. Something told me it was better to keep her out of all this because if
what I thought was happening was true...
"What party?" I growled into the phone, hoping she would tell me exactly where she
was.
"Can you calm down?" she replied, and I could hear her moving away from the
deafening music in the background.
"Calm down?!"
"I'll calm down when I see you and you explain what the hell is going on," I said, getting
into the car and starting the engine.
"I don't think I want to tell you where I am."
I stopped with the key in the ignition. "Was this some kind of joke?"
"Noah, just tell me where you are," I asked, feigning calmness.
The music was barely audible now, and I could hear her heavy breathing on the other
end of the line.
"I already told you, I'm at a party."
"Street, number, building... Where?"
I heard her sigh, and a minute later, she told me where to pick her up.
I had a bad feeling about all of this, and I could only hope that when I arrived, she
would tell me the opposite. I had arrived early, wanting to surprise her, take her out to
dinner, and make up for those days we hadn't been able to be together. Instead, when I
arrived, I found the house empty except for the wilting flowers I had sent, sitting on the
table.
I didn't take long to reach her, and when I turned the corner, I saw her. She was leaning
against her car, arms crossed over her chest. When she saw me approaching, she
straightened up and looked at me nervously. I parked in front of her and got out of the
car.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Now that I saw her and confirmed that she
was safe and sound, I could think with a little more tranquility.
I approached her with determined steps, but I didn't do what I had been wanting to do
since she had left. No, I simply observed her carefully. She remained silent, but I could
see that my silence was infuriating her.
"Let's go," I said, turning my back on her without even touching her. "I want a hot
chocolate."
"Wait, what?" she asked incredulously.
I opened the passenger door, waiting for her to come closer.
"Apparently, you have a lot to tell me, and I refuse to talk about it here while you freeze
and wobble around half-drunk."
Despite my efforts to control myself, to resist the temptation to explode, seeing her
there, intoxicated, incredibly attractive, and without me, bothered me tremendously,
more than I would dare to admit.
Noah approached hesitantly. I had never seen her like this, and it worried me even
more.
I closed her door, circled around the car, and sat in the driver's seat. I turned the heat
to the maximum, started the engine, and looked for a 24-hour café. The hot chocolate
excuse was bullshit; it was just a way to get her off the street. She was trembling,
whether from the cold or from whatever she was hiding, I didn't know. But all those
calls she had ignored were starting to make a completely different sense than what I
had initially thought.
"Nicholas... I'd rather go home," she said when she realized I was driving past and not
taking the turn.
I ignored her words and kept driving.
"I thought you liked hot chocolate," I said without further explanation, turning right and
entering another street.
I could feel Noah's gaze fixed on my face.
—Stop pretending like nothing is happening, I know you're pissed off, okay? So stop it.
—Why would I be pissed off? Is it because you haven't answered the phone since I left
for San Francisco? We both know you love getting on my nerves, I just hope this isn't
some kind of punishment for leaving.
I watched as she squirmed uncomfortably in her seat and decided to keep my face
impassive and keep driving.
There were hardly any cars on the road... understandable, considering it was past two
o'clock. If someone had asked me a few hours earlier what I would be doing at that
moment, it wouldn't have crossed my mind that I would be doing what I was doing, and
even less with Noah by my side, as far away from me as the seat allowed.
Eventually, I parked at a rundown café. I hadn't even stopped the car yet, but Noah had
already gotten out and entered the small establishment without me. For a moment, I
couldn't help but compare her to Sophia. Noah had a strong personality just like mine,
and even though I knew I had the upper hand in this situation, she couldn't control
herself. I followed her and sat at the spot she had chosen: a small table away from the
others with a view of the highway.
She had her gaze fixed on the table and didn't seem very inclined to have a
conversation. The waitress approached us, and I ordered a hot chocolate for her and a
coffee for myself. I was trying to calm the atmosphere because it was strange that she
wasn't devouring me with kisses after four days without seeing her, but the contained
anger and whatever she was hiding stood between us like an endless and
impossible-to-cross ocean. Seeing that she remained silent, I decided to be the one to
speak first. The games were over.
—Where are your things?
Her gaze finally lifted, and I could see her honey-colored eyes. She had put on
makeup, and her eyelashes, aside from looking kilometric, cast a curious shadow on
her high cheekbones. Her pink lips parted hesitantly, but before she could respond, the
waitress reappeared with our order.
Noah closed her mouth and hugged the warm cup with her hands. I waited for a few
minutes.
"Are you going to say something?" I asked.
Seconds passed until she finally decided to speak.
"I had a fight with my mother," she announced quietly. I leaned back against the seat
and waited for her to continue.
When she looked at me this time, I could see she was trying with all her might not to
cry. I tensed in my seat and waited.
"I'm not going to live with you, Nick," she announced a minute later.
I stared at her, waiting for an explanation that never came.
"What are you telling me, Noah?"
"I chose you," she finished for me.
"I did, okay? I told my mother that I didn't care, that I would go with you, but I can't do
that, Nicholas..."
I shook my head, fed up with all this shit.
"It's clear what your priorities are."
I stood up, and Noah did the same. I threw a twenty-dollar bill on the table and
prepared to leave the café without looking back.
"Nicholas, wait!" she pleaded, and I did. I stopped, but only because I knew I couldn't
leave her there. "What did you expect me to do? I don't have money like you. I can't
pay for my education; I don't even get a scholarship..."
It was ridiculous. I turned to face her.
"Don't give me that, Noah!" I snapped. Outside, there was absolutely no one, only the
sound of cars racing over a hundred miles per hour on the highway and the roaring
wind. "You know perfectly well that this isn't about your mother. She wouldn't let you
give up on your studies... The problem is that you can't stand up to her. There are
plenty of other options. You shouldn't have left without discussing it with me first!"
Noah looked at me, shaking her head.
"I know her, Nicholas. She's determined to separate us, and I won't let her do it, but I'm
not going to jeopardize my future for something we decided hastily and that can wait."
—I don't want to wait!" I yelled, losing control. "I want you with me, Noah, not with your
mother, not with my father, not with a friend. I want us to finally be a mature couple who
make decisions together, without your mother or my father interfering! I want you with
me, I want you in my bed every night, every morning...! If you're with me, I want you to
be with me and no one else."
Her eyes widened in surprise.
"Is that why you want me in your house?" she asked incredulously, raising her voice to
match mine. "To keep an eye on me? What kind of relationship is that, Nicholas!?"
I put my hands on my head. That was the last thing I expected. Finally, everything
seemed to be going well, we were finally going to be together without anyone coming
between us, and now everything had gone back to how it was before, but worse: Noah
wouldn't be living at my father's house anymore, she would be on a campus,
surrounded by assholes in an area where rapes happened day in and day out.
"If you don't trust me, then this makes no sense," she stated, and I turned to look at
her. Her voice broke on the last word. I took a step forward and held her face in my
hands.
"This isn't about you," I said, hating that part of myself, cursing myself for being like
this. "When you're not with me, I imagine all sorts of things. I can't control my
imagination, it's just something that's inside me and I've only recently discovered it. It
happens with you because I love you. The last person I loved as much as I love you, I
will always hate her, and I can't help but compare you to her."
I couldn't believe I had just said that to her.
"Nicholas, I am not your mother," she affirmed firmly. "I am not going anywhere."
The images of my mother leaving our house flooded my mind. I had never trusted a
woman again, never. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't let anyone in, that I wouldn't
fall in love ever, mainly because I didn't believe in love, not after witnessing my parents'
relationship. And now that I had Noah... I couldn't help but fear that she would do the
same to me; she was mine, I couldn't lose her. I wouldn't be able to bear it.
I approached until our gazes met.
"You have left my house," I whispered against her lips.
Noah stood still, waiting, I suppose, for me to say or do something. I took my hands off
her shoulders and took a couple of steps back.
"I don't know how we're going to solve this."

39

NOAH

We made the journey to his apartment in complete silence. Nicholas didn't say a word,
he didn't even look at me. When we arrived at his place, I followed him, trying to calm
myself down. I felt guilty about everything, even though it was my mother who had
caused us to separate again... I couldn't help but feel that Nick was growing further
away from me each day. My problems and my mother were coming between us, and I
didn't know what to do about it. I tried to make decisions objectively based on what was
best for both of us, but nothing turned out the way I wanted.
When we entered the apartment, the silence was unbearable. I would rather hear his
complaints than this, because it meant he was wrestling with something that was better
left unspoken. I watched as he crossed the living room and went into the bedroom. I
stopped in the middle, undecided. Did I want to keep arguing with him? Maybe I should
have asked him to drop me off at the residence, but I didn't want to rub it in his face
that I had already moved somewhere else. Besides, I couldn't bear the idea of leaving
without resolving this. I didn't want my mother to get her way and have that be what
ultimately drove us apart.
I couldn't hear anything on the other side of the door, and after a few minutes, I
gathered my courage and approached, opening it slightly.
There, sitting at the foot of the bed, was Nick. He had taken off his shirt and had his
forearms resting on his knees, holding a cigarette in his right hand. He looked up from
the floor to my face when he heard me enter.
I remained silent, observing him, and he did the same. We were only a few meters
apart, but suddenly they seemed like an abyss to me. I felt so much fear, so much
loneliness, that I crossed that space and slipped between his legs, forcing him to lift his
head to look at me.
"Don't let this separate us," was the only thing that came to my mind to say because I
hadn't realized how bad we both were until I heard Nick tell me what he had said half
an hour earlier.
Nick lowered his gaze to my stomach, and I saw that he was about to bring the
cigarette to his lips again. My hand held his wrist, and with the other hand, I took it
away from him. He looked at me with a furrowed brow as I extinguished it in the
ashtray right beside him. Then I straddled his lap and held his face in my hands to
make him look into my eyes.
"I need you to leave me alone, Noah," he whispered so softly that I thought I misheard.
My hands went to his nape; I wanted to bury my fingers in his hair, to remove that
anguish from his eyes, that anger he seemed to be trying to control with all his might.
His hand rose to hold mine, preventing me from caressing him any further. "Don't play
with me, not now."
His words were harsh, cold, and that coldness persisted as he got up from the bed and
circled me without barely touching me. I stood up to face him.
"I hurt you by leaving, and you're scared because I'm leaving, but you can't ignore me
like this. You can't!"
He turned towards me, his eyes blazing.
"I ignore you because I'm trying to control myself!"
I flinched at his shout but tried to remain calm. Nicholas took a deep breath and spoke
again.
"I could help you pay for your tuition," he stated, looking at me seriously.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew he would say that, but I couldn't
accept it.
"You know I won't let you do that," I replied.
"I'm giving you a solution that would make us both happy. Why don't you understand
that your decisions affect both of us, not just you?" he almost shouted in response.
"I wouldn't be happy, Nicholas!" I said, trying to maintain my composure but failing in
the attempt. "If living with you means having a war with my mother and your father and,
on top of that, being financially dependent on you, I would end up hating being here...
Can't you see that?"
"No, of course not! I only see you, surrounded by people who aren't me. That's what I
see!"
"I've never given you a reason to feel jealous, and that's what truly has you in this
state."
"Don't come up with that. You're the same way."
I tried to think of how to explain to him that jealousy could be acceptable up to a certain
point.
"I have more reasons than you do. You've been with more women than you can count
on both hands; I, on the other hand, have given you everything. You know I'm yours in
every sense of the word, and yet you still don't trust me."
"You knew what you were getting into by dating someone like me. I can't change my
past."
The space between us was killing me. Of course, I knew what I was getting into by
being with him, but it wasn't something I had chosen. It had just happened; I had fallen
in love with him uncontrollably. But that didn't change the fact that the things he did or
had done affected me just as much as they affected him.
"A relationship without trust doesn't go anywhere, and you know that."
His eyes darkened as he stared into mine.
"I don't need trust; I need you by my side."
Despite his anger, I understood what he meant.
"I'm here now, aren't I?"
Nicholas shook his head.
"You're halfway here. Always halfway, Noah," he reproached me, and then took a few
steps with the clear intention of leaving the room.
"I'm here, Nicholas!" I exclaimed, feeling my eyes getting moist.
I didn't know what he wanted from me. I had given him everything I had, everything I
could give.
"No, you're not!" he shouted, turning back to me.
"I'm everything I can be right now."
"Well, I suppose there will come a time when that won't be enough," I replied, looking
at him with a terrible fear. There it was, what I had always feared: not being good
enough for him.
"It's unfair that you're the one crying," he said seconds later, never taking his eyes off
me.
"I cry because I can't give you what you want, and because I'm afraid you'll eventually
get tired of me," I confessed, holding back a sob that got stuck in my throat.
I couldn't bear to see how I had disappointed him. I wanted to leave because I was
about to collapse, and I didn't want to do it in front of him.
"I should go," I announced, wiping my cheek with my hand and looking away.
I heard Nicholas take several deep breaths, and then he crossed the room, took my
face in his hands, and kissed me. It was so intense that I held onto his arms tightly to
stay on my feet.
"I would never get tired of you, not in a thousand years," he whispered against my lips,
and with a swift motion, he pushed me onto the bed and got on top of me.
He kissed me again, but despite his sweet words, I could feel a difference in him. His
way of touching me, kissing me, undressing me, became more of a struggle within
himself than an act of love between us. I had hurt him by leaving, and it had
consequences. The kisses grew more intense, and soon his mouth started tracing an
undefined path of hot kisses and gentle bites along my neck and breasts, down to my
thighs.
"Nick..." I murmured in a broken whisper.
Nicholas didn't hear me; he was lost in my body, lost in kissing every inch of exposed
skin within his reach.
"Hush, I don't want to talk anymore, Noah," he silenced me, removing my panties with
one hand and positioning himself between my legs. "We've already said everything we
needed to say."
His lips met mine, and I chose to forget about everything.
I couldn't sleep.
Beside me, Nick breathed slowly, deep in a profound sleep, holding me tightly against
his side. His hands wrapped around my body, making sure I could hardly move. I
watched him while he slept and felt a nostalgic knot in my chest.
The previous night had been so intense, both physically and emotionally, that it had left
me shattered. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and try to regain my composure,
but when I looked at myself in the mirror, something caught my attention and instantly
alarmed me.
"I can't believe it!" I exclaimed, angry.
I had several love bites scattered across my body.
I stormed out of the bathroom and went straight to him. He was awake and watched
me sitting on the bed, seemingly unfazed.
"Why did you do it?" I asked, not moving from where I stood.
Nicholas ignored my question, got up, put on his sweatpants, and went to the bathroom
without saying a word. I followed him immediately.
"So, is this what we're going to do now?" I said, watching him place his hands on the
sink and drop his head. "Punish ourselves?"
That made him look at me.
"Is it a punishment for you that I kiss you?"
I shook my head. I wasn't going to let him turn the tables.
"You know I hate marks." It was the thing I hated the most, and it infuriated me even
more because he had done it knowing how much I despised it. "You're an idiot," I
simply said. Nick raised his eyebrows.
"And you're spoiled. Understand once and for all that not everything will go as you
wish."
I let out a bitter laugh.
"Please! No one has ever told you 'no' in your life, that's why you punish me. I'm the
first and the only one."
Nicholas disregarded my comment and approached me cautiously.
"In that, you're right... you're the first and the only one."
We both knew that wasn't true.
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't think when I did it, I got carried away in the moment, but
please, can you stop seeing it as something bad? After all, they're just kisses, my
kisses..."
I sighed in frustration. I didn't want to argue with him again. I had had enough with the
previous night.
"And what if it were you? Would you like it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and allowing
him to come closer. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Are you kidding? I love your mouth, there's nothing I like more than a mark that
reminds me of what you've done with it."
That didn't convince me.
"Would you let me mark you?" I asked, looking at him intently, "in any way?"
He looked at me, trying to guess what was going through my mind.
"Are you talking about something kinky, darling?"
His response amused me, and as much as I hated him giving me love bites, things
were already too tense to add another reason to the argument. I forced a smile and led
him out of the bathroom.
"Lie down on the bed," I ordered.
Nick looked at me hesitantly but did as I asked. I opened a drawer in my nightstand
and sat on his stomach.
"What are you going to do?" he asked, with a dark glimmer in his eyes.
"Nothing that has crossed your perverted mind," I said, bringing the marker to my lips
and removing the cap with my teeth.
Nick's eyes widened in surprise.
"No way," he objected, raising his hands and grabbing my wrists.
I smiled.
"Oh, yes, you're going to let me and stay still," I retorted, exerting force with my arms to
make him let go.
His body rolled over mine, pinning me down against the mattress.
"Put that back where it was if you don't want to get yourself into trouble," he warned
me, but I could see in his eyes that he found this amusing.
The permanent marker was still in my hand, and I intended to use it.
"Just think of it as something I'm going to do to you, only you and no one else. I've
never drawn on anyone's body before, and I think it's something beautiful and special."
His head lifted above me, observing me with curiosity yet interest.
"That's your idea of something beautiful and special?"
"Anything I do with your body is beautiful and special," I affirmed with a smile on my
lips.
"You've spent too much time with me, that's for sure," he commented and rolled back
onto the bed, making me sit on top of him, right where I wanted to be.
"Behave," he warned, placing his hands on my bare thighs.
This was a lot of fun, and whether he liked it or not, it was helping me set aside all the
emotional baggage we seemed to have unloaded in the past few hours. I leaned over
him and began tracing drawings on his chest. A heart above his pectorals, a smiley
face on his shoulder, an "I love you" over his heart... little by little, I found inspiration
and started drawing all the things I felt for him. I remembered his letter and his flowers,
and my heart swelled. Despite this supposedly being a punishment, it quickly turned
into a love letter on his skin... written by me. His eyes never left my face, and his hands
simply traced circles on my skin as I worked with determination and my best
handwriting on his sculpted body. I wanted to show him how much I loved him, to make
him understand that there was no one else but him for me.
The ink seemed to erase the pain and restore that sense of intimacy.
With a wide smile, I took hold of his wrist and drew my final message: "You're mine."
Forever.

40
NICK

I didn't take my eyes off her for a single moment as I let her do whatever she wanted
with my body. That phrase could mean any man's dream, and I never thought I would
use it to let someone draw nonsense on my skin, but watching her at my own will, as I
was doing at that moment, was priceless. She was so focused on inking my skin and
whatever she was doing that she wasn't aware of how incredibly beautiful she looked
to me in that moment.
Her cheeks were tinged with a slight blush, and her eyes were slightly swollen from
crying the night before. I know I shouldn't be such a jerk, but I liked how her lips looked
after crying... it made me want to kiss her until there were no hours left. I took
advantage of her distraction to absorb every one of her gestures and took the
opportunity to carefully caress her legs and thighs while she remained immersed in her
task.
When my hand went a little too far, venturing into forbidden places, her eyes sought
mine and intercepted my movements.
"Hold on there," she ordered with a playful smile, then fixing her gaze on my wrist. I let
her do as she pleased while she drew one last thing on my skin.
"I'm finished," she announced, covering the marker and lowering her face to lightly kiss
my lips. Being still for so long with her half-naked on top of me had been complete
torture.
Holding her by the waist, I rolled her over until I was on top of her.
"And now what am I supposed to do?" I asked, supporting my weight with my forearms
so as not to crush her. Her hand reached up to my face and delicately stroked my hair.
"Go out there and show the world my masterpiece," she replied with a playful sparkle in
her eyes. I pressed my hips against hers, feeling her so weak beneath me, so small
and incredibly perfect... A knot formed in my throat when I realized that these moments
wouldn't happen as often as I wanted them to. I was going to have to let her go, let her
live at the university surrounded by idiots who would fight for her attention. Suddenly,
neither my kisses nor anything she could tell me felt enough to make me believe that
no one could take her away from me.
Losing her... just the thought hurt, it scared me. It was a gut-wrenching feeling that
squeezed my chest, as if two giants were sitting on my heart. Since my mother left, that
emotion had never resurfaced. I had closed myself off so much to others, denied
myself the ability to feel anything... that now I was completely vulnerable, exposed to
the possibility of this incredible girl breaking my heart.
Then I noticed what she had drawn on my wrist, and a sweet, warm tingling took hold
of my body. It was hers... she had put it there, written it on my skin, and I understood
that nothing would make me happier than to belong to her body and soul.
I knew my gaze had darkened, clouded by my emotions and the irrational desire to
keep her with me, by my side forever. I couldn't control how I felt or how my love for her
continued to grow by leaps and bounds.
"I'm going to let you go... for now," I clarified as I saw her blink in surprise, "but you
know this won't last long. When I want something, I sim... I simply get it, no matter who
I have to take down in the process."
Her eyes narrowed, and she squirmed restlessly beneath me.
"Would you take me down?"
Her question distracted me for a moment.
"I carry you in my heart, love; there is no safer place than that."
She smiled, and I sat up on the bed to start getting dressed.
"Aren't you going to take a shower?" she asked as she passed a shirt over my head.
"Is that an indirect hint? Do I smell bad or something?" I suggested, smiling at the
boots as I finished tying my shoelaces.
Noah was still wearing my shirt, and her hair was tousled. We were always running
late, and I couldn't understand why she didn't take advantage of the time I spent getting
ready to do the same. There she was, sitting on my bed, watching me with
amusement.
"I thought you would rush to erase my Monet," she commented, capturing my attention.
I smiled and positioned myself in front of her at the foot of the bed. Her foot rested
peacefully on the white sheets, pristine and perfect, just like every part of her anatomy.
"I will proudly wear these little drawings you've made, freckles. You made them, so the
least I can do is leave them until they fade away," I said, reaching out and lifting her
foot, placing it on my chest and massaging her ankle. She observed me shrewdly. "In
fact, this elephant right here," I said, lifting my shirt and pointing to one of my obliques,
"I think it gives me a rather interesting masculine look."
Her eyes lingered on the exposed skin, and a mocking smile appeared on my face. I
pulled her ankle, dragging her to the foot of the bed. Her shirt rode up to the lower part
of her breasts. Her stomach, firm and flat, was exposed for me to admire along with
that white lace underwear that made my heart race.
"Do you see something you like?" I asked, leaning in and tenderly kissing her belly
button.
She closed her eyes for a moment. How could she smell so exquisitely good?
"You," she simply replied.
But we didn't have time for that. I grabbed her, with a superior smile, and had her wrap
her legs around my hips. I had to get her out of that room.
I crossed the hallway and entered the kitchen. I smiled and placed her on the
countertop. She grimaced when she felt the cold marble against her skin. I left her
there while I took things out of the fridge to prepare breakfast for us. I could feel her
eyes following my every move.
I grabbed a bowl of fruit, squeezed oranges, and whisked some eggs to make
scrambled eggs.
"Do you want help?" she offered, but I declined.
"Let me make you breakfast one last time," I replied, unable to help but shoot her a
stern look. She shrank back and said nothing.
When everything was ready on the small kitchen island, I picked her up again and sat
her on my lap in front of the table. Her arm wrapped around my neck, and as she
absentmindedly played with my hair, I fed her while lost in my own thoughts. She ate
what I gave her, also distracted by whatever was on her mind.
I was aware that no matter how good a face we put on, what had happened the night
before still lingered like a ghost hovering around us. Nervously, I tilted her head back
and pressed my lips against hers, savoring the freshly squeezed orange from her
delicious mouth.
She was taken aback by my outburst, but she returned the kiss. Our tongues entwined,
while my arm tightly held her, pulling her closer to me.
When I pulled away, I pressed my forehead against hers, and our gazes met. Her eyes
had that honey color that melted me, and I felt the irrational urge to lock her in my room
and never let her leave.
"I love you, Noah... never forget that," I said.
Her gaze shimmered in that incredible way as her fingers caressed my cheeks and my
lower lip. She seemed lost in her thoughts, and when she went to withdraw her hand, I
held onto it and brought it to my lips. I kissed each of her knuckles gently and then let
her continue eating from her plate.
If she had been pensive before, now she seemed completely lost.
"What time do you have class?" I asked, unable to bear her silence any longer.
"At twelve-thirty."
"I'll take you there."
After dropping Noah off at the university, I met up with Lion and forced him to
accompany me to a specific place.
"Noah is going to kill you," my friend predicted as we arrived.
"Don't you like it?" I asked with a mocking smile, feeling incredibly good about it.
It had turned out perfectly.
"You're becoming a softie. It's going to affect your reputation, mark my words," he
added as he picked up the basketball and attempted to shoot it into the hoop attached
to the door.
I ignored his comment and stood up. I needed to take care of other matters.
"I'm not the one crying in corners, Lion," I reminded him, ignoring the pang of guilt. Lion
was now trying to act tough, as if he didn't care about anything or anyone. And I better
not mention that name that started with J, or things would really escalate.
"You're an asshole," he retorted, throwing the ball and making it hit the equipment in
the corner.
I grabbed my jacket, put it on, and left, knowing he would follow me.
My car was parked right beside us. We got in, and as I reversed, I could tell something
was bothering him.
"I've been thinking about selling the workshop," he announced.
I turned to him in surprise.
"What?"
The workshop was the most important thing Lion had. It was his family's business. My
friend kept his gaze fixed on the road, tapping his foot nervously.
"I want to fix things with you-know-who," he said.
I rolled my eyes.
"I think you're going about it the wrong way if you can't even call her by name."
"I'm still angry with her," he admitted with a snort. "But her father called me last night."
I briefly took my eyes off the road to look at him incredulously.
"And what did he say?"
"Mr. Tavish has always treated me well. He doesn't look at me like all those rich folks,
you know... He's a decent guy."
Greg Tavish was a great man and had raised his children impeccably. Jenna was who
she was because she had never lacked anything. Even I had felt envious when we
were kids.
"Well, we talked... at first because he wanted to know why Jenna stopped mentioning
me at home and also why his daughter had spent two nights crying non-stop."
I glanced at him and saw that, despite not liking to see Jenna suffer, knowing that she
was hurting from the separation and that he wasn't the only one going through a hard
time brought him some relief.
"He said he'll give me a position in his company. I would start from the bottom, of
course, have to take an exam and work my way up over the years. That guy is a
machine, Nick, you should have heard him speak... He's so confident, so intelligent...
No wonder Jenna adores him, you know? Who wouldn't want a father like that?"
I stared at the car in front of me.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
My mind had drifted into dark territories. I couldn't help but compare my father to Greg,
nor how he and his wife accepted their daughter's relationship with Lion, even though
he was a street kid, a great guy for sure, but ultimately a man without resources or
education. Jenna's father accepted him regardless, and I had to fight tooth and nail to
be accepted by my own family.
"I think it's the best thing that could have happened to you, buddy," I replied with a
smile.
I watched him, and for the first time in years, I saw him feeling secure. The green eyes
of my best friend reflected a sense of total calmness.

41

NOAH

I spent the next three days without seeing Nick. We stayed in touch, talking at night,
and he would send me messages that made me blush in class, but we hadn't been
able to find a time to meet up.
During those days, I went out with Jenna. We didn't go to the club or go dancing, but
there were several nice bars around the university campus, as long as you arrived
before the rush hour when it was impossible to find a table. At that moment, I was with
Jenna and Amber, her roommate, at Ray's, the trendy bar. We had arrived early, so we
were enjoying one of the best tables. A group of guys were playing pool just a few
meters away, and it was clear that they were trying to get our attention. Three attractive
girls with no guys around us were reason enough for them to strike up a conversation.
Amber kept saying that she had fallen in love with one of them, a redhead, slim, and a
bit awkward but quite cute. It amused me how, in less than five seconds, she had
already built an entire story in her head.
"I think we'll call the first one Fred, you know, I've always liked Harry Potter, and I'm
sure our children would inherit his red hair..."
"Go over there and tell him you already know the name of his first child. I'm sure that'll
make him fall in love," Jenna encouraged her, who hadn't stopped drinking and
seemed disgusted with every glance we received from the opposite sex.
"Hey, Noah, there's one who can't take his eyes off you," Amber commented, ignoring
Jenna and turning to me. I couldn't help but look back, hoping to see Nick.
I encountered a completely different pair of eyes: it wasn't Nick at all, and just as my
new friend had said, he couldn't take his eyes off me. He was tall and blond, holding
the pool cue as if it were another part of his body. The strangest thing was that he
looked familiar. I stopped looking at him and focused on my friends.
"Maybe he's in my class, but I don't remember well," I commented, shrugging.
Jenna leaned over to blatantly observe him.
"I've seen that guy before; I think I saw him coming out of the cafeteria we have in the
biology building, and I can assure you he's not a freshman. In fact, I think he's a
professor... Hey, maybe he teaches you or something!"
A class? No way.
I discreetly looked at him through my hair, and since he was focused on the game,
leaning over the table and aiming at a ball, I could observe him more freely. No, I was
sure he wasn't a professor. He was too young for that, although not young enough to
be a freshman. I tried to wrack my brain to figure out where I knew him from, but it was
impossible. After a few minutes, we dropped the subject and continued talking about
trivial matters.
"Hey, can you get me another drink?" Jenna asked after a while.
I said yes and took the opportunity to go to the restroom since there wasn't much of a
line. To get there, I had to walk past the pool tables. I had already forgotten about the
mysterious guy, so when he intercepted me halfway and forced me to stop, I was taken
by surprise.
"Hello," he greeted simply, observing me with curiosity.
"Hi," I replied, looking at his face and immediately remembering where I had seen him:
it was at that party I had attended with Jenna, the same night when Nick returned from
San Francisco and picked me up from the street.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to approach you like this, but I think you were with my brother at a
party a few days ago, am I wrong?"
"Yes, we go to class together," I answered.
He nodded. I didn't remember his name, but I did recall that he had approached us in a
rather rude manner.
"I'd like to ask you a favor. My brother is an expert at disappearing and not giving any
sign of life. If you see him in class, could you tell him to call me? It's important."
I said yes as he took out his wallet and searched for something inside.
"I know it's a lot to ask, but I don't know anyone else who goes to class with him... If
you ever notice that he's acting strange or not feeling well, could you call me at this
number?"
I took the card he handed to me.
"Of course, don't worry," I replied, seeing how distressed he was. "Is everything okay
with him?"
I liked Charlie too much to lose him as a friend. Thanks to him, I had laughed more in
the past few days than I had in a long time. I loved his constant good humor and how
he laughed at everyone, even himself, without any malice.
Charlie's brother smiled without showing his teeth, which I assumed was a clear
indication that he didn't want to discuss the matter.
"Nothing you should worry about."
His response might have seemed unfriendly, but he said it in such a transparent and
friendly tone that I couldn't help but return the smile before he disappeared back to
where he came from.
When I lowered my gaze and read the card, it sent shivers down my spine.
MICHAEL O'NEIL
Psychologist/Psychiatrist
(323)634-7721
I didn't take long to leave for the residence. I was tired, and I couldn't stop thinking
about what Charlie's brother had told me. The topic of seeing a psychologist was on
my to-do list. Nick had asked me to do it for him, and although I had agreed, I hated the
idea of opening up to a stranger, telling them my fears and personal matters.
I wasn't someone who found it easy to share my problems, especially with a stranger.
However, I was aware that the nightmares continued, and my fear of the dark was
present in my daily life. I knew it was something I couldn't keep postponing, but I didn't
like the idea of someone analyzing me, judging me, or telling me I was completely
crazy. My mother had tried to take me to therapy on more than one occasion, and I had
even gone as a child, but I had cried so much in those professionals' offices that
eventually she had given up, bought soft lights for my room, and that was it until now.
Of course, the nightmares were something relatively new that had emerged after
witnessing my father's death.
I got into bed and looked at the card again. Was this some kind of sign? This Michael
person seemed like a good guy, and most importantly, he wasn't too old. That gave me
some reassurance because the sessions could feel like simple conversations between
friends. I wanted to talk to Charlie first; besides, I wanted to know why his brother was
concerned about him, although sharing my problems with Charlie wasn't something I
was prepared for.
I knew that if I ended up telling him, I would look for any excuse to convince myself that
his brother wouldn't be a good therapist for me. So, I finally decided to call Michael
directly and ask him about his therapy.
The next day, after morning classes, I found a moment and called Michael. I briefly told
him about my problem without going into much detail, and he informed me that he was
one of the psychologists on campus. He had been working for the university for two
years and encouraged me to come to his office. I didn't know anything about Charlie
because he hadn't shown up for class, although I assured Michael that Charlie usually
didn't come in the mornings.
Despite feeling nervous, I felt somewhat relieved after taking that small step. Now all I
had to do was go and see how it went, and, above all, see if I felt comfortable being
with him and sharing my thoughts.
I spent the rest of the morning at the campus cafeteria. I had a knot in my stomach,
and I was nervous, so I simply ordered a cup of coffee and took out a book we had to
read for class. The atmosphere in the cafeteria was a bit suffocating, which is why I
chose one of the more secluded tables.
It wasn't until some time had passed that a strange sensation settled in my stomach.
As if my body sensed it, I looked up and there he was: Nick, entering the cafeteria with
a disposable coffee cup in one hand and his Mac laptop in the other. And the worst part
was, I wasn't the only one who noticed his arrival. The five girls occupying the table
next to mine, who were constantly chattering, started whispering and openly staring at
him. I looked around, carefully observing from my privileged position, and confirmed
that the girls at the neighboring table weren't the only ones keeping an eye on my
boyfriend. Nick made his way through the crowd and sat at a table where a group of
guys welcomed him with the usual slaps on the back.
"Oh my God, he's so hot! Seriously, just looking at him makes me super nervous,"
confessed one of the girls next to me.
I immediately tensed up.
"He's my future husband, so you better take your eyes off him," retorted another girl,
and they all laughed. I hadn't been aware that obviously Nick wasn't invisible, and he
was incredibly attractive. Just look at how he dressed, with those pants hanging low on
his hips, those slightly clinging t-shirts accentuating his muscular arms... and the worst
part was that he was wearing his reading glasses, those glasses that I found incredibly
enticing, the glasses I thought he only wore in his apartment, with me.
A part of me wanted to run over and claim him as mine, but I had never had this
advantageous position to observe him and see how he behaved when I wasn't around.
Honestly, he seemed to completely disregard his tablemates. They kept making a
ruckus while he remained focused on whatever he was reading on his computer. Two
girls joined his table and looked at him provocatively. One of them said something, Nick
looked up and smiled at her. An intense heat formed inside me.
“Nick had to have some flaws," commented another girl next to me.
"His only flaw is that he sleeps with anything that moves. I would never want him as a
boyfriend. Besides, just having him in front of me would make my words freeze, I'd
become a complete idiot, I'm telling you."
As if Nick had heard those very words, he lifted his head from the computer and our
eyes met in the distance. I could have played dumb or pretended to be distracted, but I
wanted him to see me. I wanted to see what he would do now that I was in his territory,
in his university, where everyone knew him and talked about him.
A playful smile appeared on his lips. Meanwhile, I just kept staring at him.
"He's looking at us," someone at the neighboring table announced, and I heard them
giggle like silly girls.
Nick stood up, grabbed his things, and without taking his eyes off mine, he made his
way towards me. I was clearly aware of how many girls were watching him.
I refocused on my book and waited to see what he would do. I distinctly heard the chair
next to me move, and he took a seat.
"Hello," he simply said, and without waiting for my response, he grabbed my chair and
positioned it so that we were face to face, with my legs almost brushing against his
knees.
The girls at the neighboring table stared at us in astonishment.
I observed him and felt butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't help it: his presence, like
for every other female in the vicinity, stirred up my hormones.
"Hello," I replied, a little tense. I was used to women looking at him. But I had never
heard the things they said about him or experienced what it was like from the other
side. Obviously, when he was with me, they would look at him, but they wouldn't make
comments that I could hear. Now I was aware of the line of girls eagerly waiting for me
to mess up so they could take my place.
"Ignore them," Nick said, his voice soft. "They don't matter."
I nodded, trying to push away the insecurities and jealousy that threatened to consume
me. Deep down, I knew I had to trust him, but it wasn't always easy.
We sat there in a strange silence, his eyes never leaving mine. It was as if we were in
our own little world, disconnected from the bustling cafeteria around us.
"I missed you," he finally whispered, his voice filled with sincerity.
A mixture of emotions swirled inside me, but the love I felt for him outweighed
everything else. Despite the doubts and the attention he received, I couldn't deny the
connection between us.
"I missed you too," I confessed, a small smile forming on my lips.
As we continued our conversation, the surrounding noise faded into the background. In
that moment, it was just the two of us, united against the outside world.
I focused my gaze on the book again, feeling too nervous knowing that everyone was
watching us. Moreover, I hated hearing how people talked about him as if he were
shallow, superficial, just handsome. Nick was so much more than just his appearance.
"Now, this is what I call a warm welcome, indeed," he teased me.
I looked at him again and furrowed my brow.
"I didn't know you had a class today or that you would be here. You could have told
me."
The girls kept whispering and laughing, starting to annoy me.
"I wasn't planning to come, but I had to submit an assignment. Since we don't live
together, I have plenty of free time," he said, his eyes looking at me in that dark way
that reminded me of everything I was missing by not living under the same roof.
"I didn't know you were so popular in college," I commented, trying to change the
subject and not get into the same argument again.
Nick shifted his gaze to the girls at the next table. He didn't even want to look at them.
"Are you jealous?" he asked, refocusing his attention on me.
I preferred not to answer that question, so I leaned over the table and pulled his shirt to
draw him closer.
"I think there are too many people here who have no idea who I am," I admitted, letting
his eyes roam my face as a playful smile formed on his seductive lips.
"There's nothing wrong with claiming what's yours, love."
His words were enough for me. We kissed each other passionately. The silence that
fell over the neighboring table finally brought a smile to my face. My intention had only
been to give him an intense kiss, but Nick seemed to have other plans in mind. He sat
me on his lap without moving an inch. Then, he parted my lips with a kiss, pushing his
tongue in, and I let him invade my mouth.
In that position, I had my back turned to most of the cafeteria, so people could deduce
what we were doing without making a scene. Nick nibbled on my lower lip, sucked on
it, and pressed his lips against mine again, as if sealing our love.
When we pulled away, I noticed how much he was enjoying all of it and how the
excitement darkened his eyes.
"I love public displays of affection," he confessed, drawing constant circles with his
thumb on the lower part of my back. I shivered.
Then, the touch of something strange brushed against my skin. I furrowed my brow
and made him move his arm so I could see it: a white bandage covered his wrist.
"What happened to you?" I asked him in horror.
He seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, increasing my unease.
"Nothing, don't worry about it."
Images of Nicholas getting into another fight flashed through my mind. I looked for any
other signs of violence, but his face was impeccable, without a scratch. I noticed his
fists, but there were no bruises either.
"Why do you have a bandage on your wrist, Nicholas?" I asked, changing my tone and
becoming serious.
He leaned his head back, and a smile appeared on his face that I couldn't quite
interpret.
"Don't freak out or anything, okay?"
I furrowed my brow and took hold of his wrist.
"What have you done?"
An alarm bell rang inside me.
"See for yourself," he said, indicating that I should lift the bandage.
Without hesitation, I did so, and there, slightly swollen but clearly visible, was a tattoo.
"Oh my God!" I exclaimed with a choked voice.
Nick finished removing the bandage and placed it on the table.
"I don't think we need to cover it up, do you?"
On his beautiful skin, in black ink, imitating my handwriting, was the same thing I had
written on his body three days ago: "You're mine."
"Tell me this isn't a tattoo," I pleaded, my heart clenched in my fist.
"Did you really think I would let this fade away?" he replied, looking at his wrist with
pride.
"You're crazy, Nicholas Leister!" I snapped, feeling a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.
A tattoo, that was forever, a mark on his skin that would always remind him of me...
Those two words claimed him as mine.
"You were engraved on my skin long before I got this tattoo; this is just a reminder of
you that I'll carry with me always, freckles. Don't make it more significant than it is."
Then I felt fear. I understood the weight of it all, and despite his beautiful words, a
familiar pressure in my chest made it hard to breathe.
"I have to go," I announced, starting to get up, but his arm held me still.
Nick narrowed his eyes and looked at me with seriousness.
"You're freaking out, and that wasn't my intention," he admitted, clearly displeased.
I shook my head; suddenly, I felt suffocated and needed to be outside. It felt like
everyone was watching my every move.
"A tattoo is for life, Nicholas," I said, my throat tightening. "You'll regret getting it, I know
it. What if one day it becomes a bad memory, a ghost that haunts you? You'll regret it,
and you'll hate me because it will remind you of me even when you don't want it to..."
His lips silenced me with a quick kiss. Though it seemed tender, I felt his tension
beneath me and the firmness of his lips against mine.
"There are times when I don't know what to do with you, Noah, I really don't."
I watched as he grabbed his laptop without looking at me and walked away the way he
came.
Damn... Had I hurt his feelings?

That night, I couldn't sleep. The disgusted and hurt look on Nick's face was the reason
I couldn't close my eyes; I felt guilty for behaving that way, for reacting like that. That's
when I realized I needed to talk about it with someone, I needed someone to help me,
to help me become what Nick expected of me.
The next morning, I had my first session with Michael O'Neil.
"Tell me about yourself, Noah. Why do you think you need my help?"
Michael's office was not how I had imagined it. There was no couch or strange objects;
it was a simple room with a desk in one corner, two black sofas with a coffee table in
the middle, and cozy white cushions. The curtains of the large window were open,
letting in warm light. Michael had offered me tea and cookies, and I felt like I was five
years old.
I briefly told him about my childhood, the relationship I had with my father, and the
problems he had with my mother. My intention wasn't to reveal all my secrets in the
first session, but Michael was good at extracting information without you even realizing
it. Almost without realizing it, I had confessed about my fall out the window and the
trauma I had with darkness; I also mentioned that just over a year ago I had to leave
my home and move to Los Angeles, and I mentioned Nick. After all, I was there
because of him.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked, pausing from writing in his notepad.
I nodded, squirming restlessly on the couch.
"Tell me about your relationship with him."
The session flew by, and I hardly had time to tell him much more.
"Well, Noah, this hour has helped me get to know you a little better, but we haven't
been able to dive into the matter... I would like you to start coming twice a week for two
hours. From what you've told me, your biggest concern is your nyctophobia, and that
can be resolved through therapy. You'd be surprised how many people have the same
problem as you. There's no need to feel ashamed."
I wish I could have told him that I wasn't ashamed, that I simply hated having that
mental block when the lights went out. I wasn't sure if that hour with him had helped
me in any way, but I did feel comfortable, and that was important.
Michael got up and walked me to the door.
"It's been a pleasure meeting you, Noah, and I truly hope I can help you."
I returned the smile. His calm way of speaking and the way he looked at me conveyed
a sense of almost absolute tranquility. I suppose he was good at his job.

42

NICK

I looked at the buildings in front of me. Sometimes, looking from that height could be
intoxicating; other times, it made you feel superior, observing people without them
knowing, the nighttime traffic, the last flashes of the sun... Heights had never bothered
me; however, distances didn't amuse me as much anymore. I had been turning things
over in my mind for a while, thinking, trying to understand why it was sometimes so
difficult to get what one desired. Many people could reproach me for those words,
considering that I lacked nothing, but there was something in particular that had
captivated me, someone, actually, and I didn't know how to ensure that they would stay
by my side no matter what.
Her reaction to the tattoo hadn't been what I expected. I didn't expect her to jump with
excitement, but I never thought I would see fear. Fear didn't enter my thoughts or
plans; it was very difficult for me to be scared of anything.
Noah lived in fear, she admitted it, and I couldn't do anything to help her with that. My
mere presence made her sleep without nightmares and calmed her demons, but it
didn't make them disappear. I feared that those demons would eventually become
mine as well because people had limits... I, as a man, had my limits clearly defined, but
they seemed to be redefined by the person who drove me completely crazy.
I wanted to know her completely, and just when I thought I had succeeded, she
surprised me with something I wasn't prepared to handle. Then, I had to go back to
square one.
"What happens if one day this tattoo becomes a bad memory, a ghost that haunts you?
You'll regret it and you'll hate me because it will remind you of me even when you don't
want it to..."
How could she have said those words? Hadn't I made my feelings for her clear? Wasn't
it obvious that my world revolved around her?
I glanced at the contract that had been sent to me earlier that morning. We had won
the Rogers case, a rookie like me had managed to pull off something that everyone
thought was lost. Jenkins had sent me and Sophia to lose and prove that we weren't
ready to take on more complex cases yet... Jenkins defended his position tooth and
nail, and this scheme had backfired on him.
And there it was, the paper I had always wanted to read. They were offering me a
two-year internship at a law firm unrelated to my father's, in New York, with a furnished
apartment and a monthly salary of four thousand dollars that would be renegotiated as
soon as my probation period ended. A unique opportunity, a chance to start on my
own, based on my own achievements and merits without relying on my father.
And there it was again... that beautiful face, the face I would kill and die for: Noah.
I took the contract and put it in one of the drawers. There was nothing more to think
about regarding this matter.

43

NOAH

Silence.
That's what existed between Nicholas and me, and it wasn't something I had expected.
I sat on my bed, staring at my phone, trying to figure out what I could do or say to
justify my behavior from the other day. I missed him, and I was afraid that I had pushed
his patience to the limit.
Summoning my courage, I started by writing him a message... then I deleted it and
decided to be brave and call him instead. I waited anxiously until I heard the receiver
being picked up.
"Hello?"
A woman's voice.
Three heartbeats, and then the sound of blood pumping in my ears.
"Is Nicholas there?"
My voice was a poem, and if it weren't for the anger that blinded me, I would have
hung up as soon as I heard Sophia's voice.
She nodded, and a few minutes later, I heard her breathing on the other end of the line.
"Noah."
Noah... no more "freckles," it seemed.
In that moment, I felt so far away from him that it hurt my heart.
"What are you doing with her?"
Asking him that wasn't my intention at all.
"I work with her."
I took a deep breath, trying to find a way to connect with him, but it had been four days
without either of us reaching out, and that had never happened before. I was lost
because I didn't understand what was happening.
"The tattoo."
I had discussed this with Michael; lately, I had been going to his office almost every
day, and we talked about everything. I had never felt capable of opening up so much to
a stranger before, but he had managed to make me do it. It was his idea to wait and
see how things unfolded with Nick. He told me that pushing was never a good idea and
that it was better to wait for the anger to fade away before letting it speak for me.
Well, here we were: talking. But it wasn't exactly the conversation, and certainly not the
reception, that I had expected.
"Nick..."
"Noah..."
We both spoke at the same time, and we both fell silent to listen to what the other had
to say. On another occasion, that would have been amusing, but not at that moment,
not when I felt him miles away.
"I want to see you," I said when I realized he wasn't taking the initiative.
I heard on the other end of the line how he isolated himself from the surrounding noise;
he must have locked himself in a room.
"I'm sorry I didn't call you," he admitted a second later. "I've been busy with the
company's anniversary..."
"I'm going to therapy," I blurted out without thinking, after a silence that neither of us
wanted to interrupt. I don't know why I suddenly blurted it out, maybe because I felt I
had to explain to him that, despite my attitude, I was willing to change and improve for
him.
"How? Since when? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm telling you now."
"You can't go to just any therapist, Noah. I did research, I talked to the best, and now
you're going..."
"Nicholas, what does it matter who it is? He's helping me, and he's young, from the
university. It's more like talking to a friend than anything else."
"A friend?"
The tone changed from cold to icy within seconds.
"His name is Michael O'Neill, he's the brother of a classmate, and he told me that if..."
"Faculty psychologists are underpaid brats who have no clue what they're doing. How
old did you say he is?"
This was unbelievable.
"What does that matter?"
"Believe me, it does matter. What the hell can a guy who just graduated know about
what you're going through?"
"He's twenty-seven, and he's helping me... That's the only thing that should matter to
you."
"You matter to me, and what's best for you matters. And I assure you, a faculty
psychologist won't have a clue what to do when you start telling him what you're going
through."
"What are you insinuating with that?"
"I'm insinuating that I want you to stop seeing that idiot and..."
I couldn't listen to him anymore. I hung up the phone and tried to take deep breaths to
calm myself down. How the hell had that conversation turned into another damn fight?
I grabbed my leather jacket, slipped on my boots, and walked into the living room
where my roommate was absentmindedly watching TV. Our apartment was quite cozy,
with two bedrooms, a shared bathroom, and a living room with an open kitchen. I
couldn't complain; at least William had made an effort to find me a nice place. My
roommate's name was Briar, and now that I had been living with her for several weeks,
I could say without hesitation that she was quite promiscuous. It's not that she dressed
excessively provocatively or anything like that; she just had that gift where any guy with
eyes would want to take her to bed, and she happily obliged. Her hair was gorgeous,
more red than orange, and her eyes were green and exotic. She was tall and slim, and
she had told me she worked as a model for many well-known brands. Her parents
were famous Hollywood directors, and she knew she would end up working with them
sooner rather than later.
It wasn't surprising; with that face, I would have become an actress too, but Briar had
an "I don't care about anything" attitude that was even worrying. She had chatted with
me quite a bit, she was friendly, that's for sure, but I couldn't quite figure her out.
"Lovers' quarrels?" she asked indifferently as she inspected a nail and then repainted it
with that blood-red color.
I walked over to the fridge and grabbed a can of Coca-Cola. It's not like I needed
caffeine to get even more worked up, but I was moving on reflexes; I wasn't even
thirsty. I couldn't sit still. That last conversation had hit a nerve.
"I don't want to talk about it," I replied in a rather curt tone. Briar's eyes fixed on me,
and I immediately felt guilty.
We weren't friends or anything, but she had been nice to me. I sighed and briefly told
her what was happening with Nick. The truth was, I was lacking in female friends
because Jenna had been doing her own thing since we started college, and she lived
on the other side of campus. I didn't tell Briar about the therapist, obviously, but I did
tell her about the tattoo and how he had reacted.
"Wow, a tattoo, he's got you head over heels, huh?" she commented, sitting on one of
the stools placed around the kitchen table. I absentmindedly played with the Coca-Cola
can as I decided how much I could share with her.
"What we have is different from anything I've felt for any other guy... it's intense, you
know? A single word from him can lift me up to the fifth heaven or bury me five meters
underground."
Briar observed me closely.
"I've only felt something like that for one person, and he turned out to be a lying
manipulator who was playing with me..." Her words were sincere, and as she spoke,
she carelessly took off the silver bracelet she always wore on her right hand. "I
understand when you say things can be intense."
I opened my eyes when I saw the two marks on her wrist. Our gazes met, and I saw in
her much of what I saw in myself when I looked in the mirror.
A smile formed on her lips.
"It's not that big of a deal. It's funny how people look at you when you tell them you
tried to commit suicide," she told me as she put the bracelet back on. "It's a mark of
weakness, yes, but I did it, and here I am, talking to you without any remorse. Life
sucks sometimes, and everyone copes with it the best they can."
I didn't know what to say. I understood her, more than she could imagine. It felt so
strange to see her talk about it without any hesitation... It had taken me ten years to
freely show my stomach scar.
Marks on the skin... endless reminders of moments I never wanted to relive.
"I like your tattoo," she declared, and I realized she was touching it. Sometimes I did
that without even realizing it.
"Sometimes I wonder what was going through my head when I decided to get it."
Briar smiled, lifted her shirt, and showed me the side of her ribs. In beautiful black
script, I could read a message that touched my heart: "Keep Breathing."
I immediately understood the feeling behind those words.
"Now is when we hug and swear to be friends forever," she said, pulling her shirt back
down and laughing carelessly.
It was clear that I wasn't the first person she had told all this to. We had known each
other for a short time, and the way she talked about her past made it evident that she
wasn't seeking anyone's sympathy. She laid her demons bare without reservation, and
I quickly realized it was so that no one would ever truly know her. I knew she was
hiding many things, and seeing her now through different eyes, I understood that she
belonged to that side of life where everything isn't always rosy.
"Do you feel like going out somewhere?" I asked without even realizing what I was
saying.
She looked at me, surprised.
"No, that's not the usual reaction people have after hearing me talk about attempting
suicide, Morgan," she joked, smiling and stubbornly calling me by my last name. I
hadn't heard her say my name even once. "Most people tend to look away or quickly
change the subject, and you want to invite me for a drink?"
I shrugged.
"I'm not like the rest of the people, and I didn't say anything about inviting you for a
drink."
Briar burst into laughter and hopped off the stool.
"I like you... Let's go out then."
I smiled and went into my room.
I realized then that I wasn't the only one with problems; I hadn't been the only girl who
had been hurt. Talking to Briar had made me feel much better than I could have
imagined.
"Which one of those guys would you hook up with?"
We were in a pub near the campus. Briar was some kind of VIP, and just a glance from
her made us get in the VIP area without even queuing.
"I have a boyfriend, remember?" I replied, bringing the straw of my drink to my lips.
The bartender had been buying us drinks since we arrived.
Briar waved her hand indifferently.
"Forget about boyfriends, we're talking hypothetically."
I noticed that a group of guys from a nearby booth couldn't take their eyes off us. It
wasn't surprising, two girls alone in a pub, and with Briar, who kept throwing them
glances...
"Stop doing that, you're going to make them come over," I told her when she blatantly
winked at one of the most handsome guys.
"They're coming over," she said with a radiant smile. She had perfectly aligned and
white teeth. You could tell she came from a wealthy family, but despite all that, she was
nothing like the people I knew from my school. Briar seemed different from any girl I
had ever met.
I didn't want them to approach us because I couldn't ignore them while Briar
shamelessly flirted with them. Moreover, two of them decided to sit at our table without
even asking.
"Hello, beauties," greeted the blond one, the one Briar had been gazing dreamily at.
The other one had dark hair, and he reminded me of Nick. This was wrong, and I didn't
feel as comfortable anymore.
After ten minutes of shallow small talk, Briar started making out with the blond guy.
Meanwhile, I kept telling his friend that I had a boyfriend and to leave me alone.
"Your boyfriend isn't here, and I know you like me. I make you nervous, admit it," he
said, getting closer.
I tightly pressed my lips together.
"I'm not going to repeat myself," I threatened, now angrier than I should be. "I want
absolutely nothing to do with you. I wouldn't even give you the time of day, do you
understand? Now, get lost."
His hand flew to my knee, and I slapped it away, getting up.
"Are you an idiot on top of being deaf?" I yelled over the music.
"Why don't you loosen up a bit and stop being so uptight, like your friend?"
I looked at Briar, who separated from the blond guy to give me a meaningful look.
"No one will find out, Morgan."
That was ridiculous.
"I'm leaving."
I stormed out of the booth, cursing myself for coming to that stupid dive. It didn't
surprise me that Briar didn't follow me; she had already shown me that everyone was
free to do as they pleased.
I stepped outside to catch some fresh air. I was more drunk than I had initially thought.
I shouldn't have drunk so much without moving around much. Now everything was
spinning.
I decided to turn on my phone to call a taxi and have it pick me up. As I did, I noticed
several missed calls from Nick. I had gotten really mad about the psychologist thing
and had decided not to respond, but suddenly, I realized I was tired of being angry with
him.
We needed to see each other and resolve our issues face to face. I decided to send
him a message with the address of the pub.
"I'm here. Can you pick me up? We need to talk."
I received a response right away.
"I'll be there in five minutes."
He didn't take long to arrive, and when I saw his Range Rover parking across the
street, I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure about our current situation or how to
proceed because things had become very strange between us after our recent
conflicts. I chose to stay where I was while he got out of the car.
Just as he was crossing the street in my direction, I heard someone shouting my name.
It was the guy from the bar.
"Aren't you going inside? I was just kidding earlier," the guy said, reaching me before
Nicholas did.
I turned to Nick as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pushed the guy away with
his other hand.
"Step aside," his voice was as cold as the weather that night. I felt a shiver.
The guy looked up at Nick.
"Who are you?"
"The one who's going to punch your face if you don't stay away from my girlfriend."
I tensed up upon hearing how angry he was.
Reluctantly, the guy took a step back.
"She never mentioned you while she was flirting with me in there."
I opened my eyes in disbelief. What an idiot...
Nick let go of my waist and took a step forward.
"If you don't disappear from my sight in less than a second, you're going to find yourself
in trouble. Do you understand me?"
Okay, things were escalating. I stepped forward and took Nick's hand.
"Let's go, please," I quietly pleaded.
I didn't want them to fight; I just wanted to get out of there immediately.
The idiot from the bar seemed to realize that he was on the losing end because it was
clear who would come out on top if they faced off. Then the door opened, and the
muffled sound of music resonated in the street. I saw Briar coming out, hand in hand
with the blond guy, the idiot's friend.
"What's going on here?" he asked, making his way towards us. Nick took a moment
longer to turn towards them.
His entire body tensed up instantly, and I knew this wasn't going to end well.

44

NICK

I locked eyes with the girl who had just come out of the bar.
Briar Palvin.
I couldn't believe it.
The guy she was hanging onto let go of her and hurried to join his friend. I was already
so angry that I could take on four guys at once if necessary, but seeing Briar
completely threw me off. Her face also showed surprise, but I averted my gaze and
focused on the two idiots.
"What were you saying you were going to do, you moron?"
I clenched my fist, wishing I could shut his fucking mouth with a single punch. He
thought that just because there were two of them now, I would back down... How
mistaken they were. The only reason I held back from leaving them lying on the
ground, bleeding, was the girl who had a firm grip on my arm.
"Nicholas, please," Noah insisted.
The blond guy took a step forward, invading my personal space.
"I suggest you back off," I said, controlling my tone of voice.
"Or what?" the other idiot positioned himself beside his friend. It would be so easy to
bring them down, but that wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't the right time or place,
especially not in front of Noah.
I glanced at Briar and saw that at that very moment, she was approaching with a thug
she had fetched from the entrance. The muscular guy gave us a stern look as he
stopped by our side.
"Get out of here if you don't want me to call the police," he said, shifting his gaze
towards me a second later. "All three of you."
The idiots seemed to back down, and I took the opportunity to avoid a situation that
would only result in bruised fists and an even bigger fight with Noah.
I had a more pressing problem to deal with, especially when I saw Briar approaching
Noah and wrapping her arm around hers. I tried with all my might to come up with
something to say to that girl with fiery red hair. Her gaze was completely indifferent.
"Aren't you going to introduce us, Morgan?" she asked with that angelic voice that I
knew she used whenever it suited her.
Noah looked at me nervously, biting her lip. I wished I could pull her down, so she
wouldn't get hurt, but the words that came out of her mouth put my entire body on high
alert.
"Nick, this is my new roommate, Briar. Briar, this is my boyfriend, Nicholas."
It took me a few extra seconds to raise my hand and shake the one she extended.
I couldn't believe this was happening. Briar Palvin was the last girl I would have chosen
for Noah to live with, not only because of who she was but also because she had seen
the worst of me, and when I say the worst, I mean the worst.
"Pleasure to meet you, Nicholas...?" she said, waiting for my response.
I pursed my lips immediately.
"Leister," I almost snapped.
As if she didn't know... I didn't understand why she was pretending not to know me, but
it was too late to give explanations. Besides, the last thing I wanted was for Noah to
have another reason to doubt us. Briar Palvin belonged to my past, and that's where
she would stay.
"We were actually just leaving," I commented, taking hold of Noah and pulling her
towards the car.
"Wait," Noah asked, letting go of my grip. "Briar, can you drive?" she asked, sounding
concerned.
I wanted to grab Noah and stuff her in the trunk, always worried about the wrong
person. That girl knew perfectly well whether she could drive or not, and if she wasn't
in a condition to do so, she would find a way to get home safe and sound. I knew all
too well how she operated.
"Yes, don't worry. Go and sort things out with your guy," she responded in a low tone of
voice that I could hear clearly.
Noah smiled at her as if they were lifelong friends, and I intervened, starting the car
with the intention of not listening any further.
When I noticed Noah turning her back and approaching the passenger door, my gaze
met Briar's. Her feline green eyes revealed more than I could have expected, and upon
seeing the smile on her face, I knew I had to keep Noah away from her at all costs.
We drove in complete silence. It had been a while since Noah had seen me so angry
and ready to fight. I had promised her no more fights, but it was incredibly difficult for
me to set aside that part of myself. I had never been a calm guy, and seeing that idiot
near her...
When I turned off the engine, I turned to look at her. She squirmed in her seat.
I brushed a strand of hair away from her face with my hand. She didn't move, but her
skin tingled when I caressed her earlobe with my fingers. She looked at me, and a
second later, her gaze shifted from my eyes to my wrist. I could see that her expression
revealed something strange, and I sighed deeply.
"I got the tattoo because I wanted to, Noah. I like those words, especially coming from
you. And if we add the fact that you were the one who drew them on my skin..."
"Can I see it?" she asked.
I extended my arm until she took hold of my wrist gently and turned it, exposing it.
Then, with her eyes fixed on the tattoo, she began tracing the words with the tip of her
finger.
I felt a shiver run down my spine.
"I like it," she declared finally, and her eyes locked onto mine once again.
Sent out a curse-laden breath slowly as I got lost in her gaze. Why was it so
complicated to love her? If she allowed herself to be loved, we would be perfect for
each other. If Noah didn't have all these fears, I would love her without any doubts or
conditions.
I extended my arm and pulled her towards me, but her hand on my chest stopped me.
She lowered her gaze, and it seemed like her heart skipped a beat for a moment.
"We always do the same thing, Nicholas," she complained, now looking me in the
eyes.
"What do we do?" I replied, aware of the tone I infused into my words.
Noah shifted her gaze, fixing it on the lights in front of us.
"You can't get all worked up on the phone and then come here, acting as if nothing
happened, giving me a few kisses, and expecting me to forget it."
Seeing me remain silent, she turned back to face me.
"I'm going to therapy because of you. I'm seeking help, telling my life story to a stranger
because of you. And what worries you? That he's young and that, according to you, I'm
too messed up for him to help... What's happening is that you're jealous."
"It's not jealousy, damn it. I just want you to be okay. I want the best therapist for you,
Noah, not just anyone."
"You want to control everything, Nicholas, and there are things that are beyond your
control. It's my decision whom I confide in and trust. But all you seem to care about is
that the therapist is a man. There are men everywhere; you can't isolate me in a
bubble! You wouldn't be like this if it were a woman treating me."
"I just want what's best for you. I want you to finally be cured, for fuck's sake!"
Her eyes widened with surprise and disbelief, then filled with pain a second later.
"Shit."
"You want to cure me?" she repeated in a low voice, her voice breaking on the last
syllable. Without giving me a chance to hold her back, she got out of the car and
slammed the door shut.
I rushed out as quickly as I could, and when I caught up to her, she was already dialing
a number on her phone.
—Who are you calling? —I asked as I approached her.
Her tear-filled eyes stopped me in my tracks.
"Noah... I didn't mean that," I tried to speak in a conciliatory tone.
"Stay away from me," she ordered, taking a step back with the phone to her ear and
her hand extended. "I'm not sick, Nicholas. I can't believe you said that."
"Damn it, shit!" I muttered under my breath as I listened to her giving an address to
someone on the other end.
"Noah, listen to me," I pleaded as she put the phone back in her bag.
She turned towards me, her eyes blazing with anger.
"This isn't easy for me, Nicholas! I'm doing everything I can to be okay, to make us
work, and you refuse to understand me. You just throw things in my face, you don't
trust me, and I'm fed up!"
Her words stung like stakes driven into my heart, one by one.
"I didn't mean that, Noah," I apologized, trying to calm her down. "You're not sick, I've
never thought that. I just want you to get better, to not be afraid, to stop running away
from me. That's all I want."
"You want me to get better on your terms, Nicholas!" she retorted, hugging herself
tightly. "This is madness... It's you who needs help! You see threats where there are
none!"
I approached her, not caring that she tried to keep her distance and her eyes warned
me to stay where I was.
My hands held onto her arms, and I crouched down to be at her eye level.
"You're doing it again, finding any excuse to distance yourself from me. Why are you
doing this?!"
Noah shook her head and closed her eyes.
"I think we need some time apart," she admitted, looking down at the ground.
I took her chin between two fingers and forced her to look at me.
"You don't mean that," I said.
Tears glistened in her eyes, tears she hadn't shed yet.
"I think we both need some perspective, we need to miss each other, Nick... because
right now, I don't recognize you, I don't recognize us. All I see is jealousy everywhere,
and that's not right."
"Don't do this, don't push me away." I placed my hands on her cheeks, cradling her
face, and lowered my lips to brush against hers.
"Just a few days, Nicholas," she said. "Give me time to process everything that has
happened: leaving home, leaving your apartment... starting to talk about my past,
stirring up painful memories, feeling like I'm not enough for you..."
Her voice broke on the last word, and I held her tightly in my arms, embracing her with
strength.
"You are everything I need, my love. Please don't deprive me of having you with me,
don't deprive me of this," I pleaded, tilting her head back and kissing her with genuine
affection, but also with infinite passion. Her body trembled, and I pulled away.
"I think both of us need to work on our issues, Nicholas, and shouting at each other
won't solve anything. You need to learn to trust me, and I need to stop running away
from what you make me feel... because I love you too much, Nick, I love you so much
that it hurts."
I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't let her go like this. I couldn't leave without her,
watching as she swallowed back her tears.
"That's precisely why being apart won't solve anything. You and I aren't meant for that,
remember?" I said, wiping away a tear that had escaped without permission from her
beautiful eyes.
"I need to think... I need to know what I want, what I'm missing, because right now all I
do is think about you, and even though a part of me knows I need you, there's another
part that's fading away. Nicholas, there's no Noah without you, and it can't be like this. I
can't depend on you this way, because I'll end up losing myself... Don't you see?"
What I saw was a beautiful girl shattered because of me, because I didn't know how to
make her happy. Why wasn't I capable? What was I doing wrong? What had happened
to the time when Noah would give me a hundred smiles a day? Where had that special
sparkle gone that I would get just from locking eyes?
Was she right? Was I changing her?
At that moment, lights illuminated us from behind. Noah looked in that direction, and I
knew she was on the verge of breaking down, of truly crying.
I took a deep breath, trying to set aside my own feelings.
"I'll give you a week, Noah," I affirmed, making sure my eyes conveyed the seriousness
of my words. "I'll give you a week to miss me with every pore of your skin, seven days
for you to realize that your place is with me and no one else."
She stood still, and I leaned in to kiss those sensual lips, that beautiful mouth that
belonged to me, and I held her tightly, conveying my warmth, my desire for her, my
pain at letting her go.
When I pulled away, both of us were gasping for breath.
"Seven days, Noah."
I watched as she got into the car. It was only when I saw the flash of red that I realized
Briar had come to pick her up.
The fear that she would talk made me instantly regret letting her go.

45

NOAH

I stared intently at the cup between my fingers. The steam rose in swirling patterns,
warming my face. The city was growing colder with each passing day; summer had
been left behind. As I watched the clouds melt into my hot chocolate, I had to make an
effort to grasp what Michael was trying to make me see. Talking to him was helping, or
so I believed, although every word that came out of his mouth only confused me further
about my relationship with Nicholas.
"I've always been afraid of the dark," I was telling him at that moment. "I've always felt
like I was underwater, sinking deeper every day, unable to resurface. It was only when I
met Nick that I could breathe again, that I could come up for air. How can that be a bad
thing? How can it be detrimental to me?"
Michael stood up from his chair and approached the couch where I was sitting. He
observed me carefully.
"You have to swim on your own, Noah. Nicholas can't always be your lifeline. Either
you learn to swim, or the moment he gets distracted, you'll start sinking again."
It had been six days, six long days without exchanging a word. At first, Nick had tried to
reach out to me, and I almost forgot about the distance between us, wanting to beg him
to come see me at the apartment, to hold me in his arms...
"You're doing great, Noah. You're listening to me, learning to survive without him. And
only then, when you learn to walk alone, can you do it with someone else."
I took a deep breath. In the end, we always ended up talking about Nick, and I wanted
him to help me with my fears, with my nightmares...
I stood up, leaving the cup on the coffee table, and walked over to the window. It was
nearly nighttime outside, and I watched as some students passed by, probably finishing
their evening classes.
"I just want to be... normal," I confessed, without wanting to turn around or see the
reaction to my words.
Then I felt his arm encircling mine, forcing me to turn and meet his eyes.
"Noah, you are normal. It's just that you've experienced situations that are far from
normal, you understand? You're projecting your fears and insecurities onto your
romantic relationship with Nicholas, and that's why I'm trying to make you see that this
relationship isn't good for you."
I pulled away and went to sit on the couch.
"I don't want to talk about Nick anymore."
Michael sighed and sat down again, facing me. I noticed that he paused for a moment,
studying his notes.
"Let's talk about how you've been spending your nights. Have you been doing what I
told you?"
I nodded, even though it had helped very little. Nightmares still crept into my dreams,
and I remained unable to turn off the lights and sleep in the darkness.
"The fear you have is directly linked to what happened with your father. You told me
yourself that before he attacked you, you used to lock yourself in your dark room and
feel safe. In a way, your father twisted that and turned it into the opposite, which is why
it affects you so deeply. Something that was once a soothing and protected
environment became your worst nightmare."
I hated remembering that night, hated feeling his hands on my skin again, his fingers
gripping my ankle and immobilizing me forcefully against the mattress. I closed my
eyes tightly and clenched my fists against my legs.
"The person who should have protected you betrayed you. He was an adult, someone
who knew what he was doing, while you were a defenseless child. You were alone,
nobody helped you, Noah, and you did what you could to escape. You were brave and
didn't hesitate, you fought for yourself when no one else could."
As I opened my eyes, I thought about my mother. How she faced his blows without
ever achieving positive results; in fact, it only made things worse. Watching her, I
learned that sometimes it was better to stay silent, to accept whatever they had to yell
at us... my father always told me he did it for her, that I wasn't a bad girl, which is why
he never touched me.
"He loved me, he should have never hurt me..."
On the morning of the seventh day, I woke up with a strange feeling in the pit of my
stomach. It was the last day of our separation, and I didn't know if I was ready for it.
Part of me wanted to see him with every fiber of my being, but on the other hand, the
separation had helped me reconsider many things. I decided to go to his office to see if
our time apart had been enough or not.
As I entered Leister Enterprises, I felt nervous. Upon exiting the elevator, a
middle-aged woman directed me to Nick's office. I had never been there before, and I
felt as small as an ant. Everything was shining, and the walls were made of glass. In
the center, past the reception, there was a huge lobby with white sofas on an intensely
black carpet. Grays, whites, and blacks... Why wasn't I surprised?
And then I saw him.
His office was made of glass, and he wasn't alone. A lump formed in my throat as I saw
Sophia sitting on his desk. From where I stood, I could see her cheeks tensing
upwards as she smiled and gestured with her hands. Nick seemed exasperated but
held back his laughter, whatever it was that she was saying.
I approached the door, and at that moment, he saw me.
I watched through the glass as he stood up from his chair, as Sophia turned towards
me, as the smile vanished from her face, and as Nick came to greet me.
"Noah," he simply said after opening the door.
I didn't know what to say. All my insecurities, those horrible jealousies, took hold of me
again. I couldn't help it: she was perfect... perfect for him.
"Hello, Noah, I'm glad to see you again," Sophia greeted me with a wide smile.
I returned the greeting as best as I could.
Nick couldn't take his eyes off me.
"Do you mind leaving us alone for a moment, Soph?"
"Soph," he called her.
She nodded and left the office.
I approached his desk, and Nick did the same. He picked up a paper that was on top of
everything else and stored it in a drawer. Then he pressed a button, and the walls
began to darken. In less than fifteen seconds, I couldn't see anything beyond those
four walls.
Then his hands surrounded me, the warmth of his body enveloped me completely, and
he pulled my braid back to be able to place his lips on mine. He didn't deepen the kiss;
in fact, he forced me to separate a few inches to let his eyes roam my face, my body,
and my trembling fingers.
"I missed you, freckles," he confessed, his eyes fixed on mine, filled with a strange and
hard-to-define emotion.
I felt suffocated, and suddenly, all I wanted was to get out of there and hear Michael
say that I was capable of dealing with anything, that I had to face my fears, that I was
strong, that I was intelligent, that nothing and no one could bring me down... It only
took seeing him with her for my self-esteem to plummet again.
"What's that paper you stored in the drawer?" I asked, more as a distraction. I noticed
that he suddenly became tense.
"Oh, nothing, just work stuff," he replied, downplaying it. "Noah... tell me this break is
over because I'm about to go crazy. You stopped answering my calls, you stopped
reading my messages..."
"I needed time to think," I said, and I noticed how harsh and distant my voice sounded.
Nick looked at me with a furrowed brow.
—Noah... What's wrong with you?
I shook my head, looked into his concerned and beautiful eyes, and knew that I wasn't
ready.
"I need more time."
His fingers stopped the caress they were making. His skin ceased to touch mine, and
suddenly I felt small next to him. He stood up and stared at me from his height.
"No."
"Nicholas, I..."
"I haven't seen you for seven days. I've given you time to think, and I don't even know
what the hell you could be thinking..."
He stepped away and went to the window behind his desk. Before he could say
anything else, the door opened behind me, and Sophia entered.
A single glance was enough for her to realize that things weren't going well.
"I... I'm sorry to interrupt, but they need you in the conference room, Nick."
Nicholas approached the door, looked at Sophia, and then at me.
"Wait for me here."
When Nick left the office, Sophia and I were left in an uncomfortable silence.
I watched as she approached her desk and took a seat.
"You can sit if you want. Should I prepare you some coffee or something else?"
I told her no and remained still where I was.
"Noah... I think I know why you're like this... but it's a unique opportunity. I would give
anything for that position, and New York isn't that far away. Many people have
long-distance relationships, and it would only be..."
"Wait, what?"
My heart started pounding forcefully against my ribs, so much so that I thought it would
burst out of my chest.
"What did you say?" I asked, taking a step forward.
The words that had just come out of her mouth began to repeat in my brain like a
macabre song.
"Opportunity," "New York," "long-distance relationship"...
Sophia looked at Nick's desk, then at me, and her eyes widened in surprise. Her
cheeks started turning a deep shade of scarlet.
"I... I thought Nick..."
"What opportunity are you talking about?"
Sophia shook her head.
"You should ask him, Noah. I shouldn't have said anything. I just thought... he had told
you, especially considering how persistent they have been."
"Nicholas hasn't told me anything, but since you've started, finish it. What the hell are
you talking about?"
I knew I would explode soon, and I preferred not to do it in front of her. I wanted to get
out of there, but first, I wanted to know what the hell was going on.
"One of the top law firms in New York has offered him a two-year job position. Winning
the Rogers case caught the attention of many people, important people, and although I
would love to take credit for it, we wouldn't have achieved it if it hadn't been for Nick."
I didn't even know they had won the case, I didn't even know Nicholas was interested
in a job in New York, let alone that the contract would be for two years...
I needed to get out of there, leave before Nicholas came back.
"Tell Nicholas... tell him I had to leave, tell him I wasn't feeling well..."
Before walking out the door, Sophia held onto my arm and looked at me with her brown
eyes surrounded by long lashes. Her heels made her taller than me, and I didn't like
that feeling, not at all.
"I know you don't want him to go... but you should support him in this, Noah."
Anger consumed my entire being, and with a jerk, I managed to break free from her
grasp.
"Don't you dare tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my boyfriend."
It didn't take me more than two minutes to enter the elevator and leave the building.
Two years? Was he considering leaving for two years and leaving me here? And why
was she the one who knew about it and not me?
"You should support him in this, Noah."
Why couldn't Nick trust me? Why couldn't we tell each other everything, without fear of
what the other would say?
As soon as I left the parking lot, I pressed the accelerator to the floor and blinked hard,
trying to prevent tears from obstructing my view of the road.

46
NICK

It took me a little over ten minutes to leave the office and get rid of Jenkins. That
bastard wouldn't stop insisting that I was an idiot if I turned down the job they had
offered me in New York, that I had to accept it, that it would boost my career, and so
on. The thing was, it suited him perfectly because he would get rid of me and have a
clear path to climb the ladder in my father's company: killing two birds with one stone.
His dirty tricks delayed me, and that's why when I got to my office, I only found Sophia
there.
"How long ago did she leave?" I asked her, stopping at the door.
"About five minutes, but, Nick," she said, forcing me to stop and look at her. Something
in her tone made me do it, "I told her about New York, and I don't think she took it well."
"What have you done?"
Sophia looked back at me nervously.
"I thought you had been arguing about it; I'm sorry, I messed up, it wasn't my
intention..."
"Damn it!"
I left the office and went straight to the parking lot. I got in the car and headed towards
the university.
I couldn't believe she had told her. That topic was settled. I didn't know how to make
people understand that I wasn't interested, that I wasn't going anywhere. Sophia had
become particularly insistent when I had told her that I wasn't planning to leave. I
wasn't crazy; I knew the opportunity I was rejecting, but it didn't interest me. I wasn't
going to leave Noah there, not in a million years, even if they hired me at the White
House.
Jenkins had been pestering me ever since he found out, ten minutes of him telling me
that I was a complete idiot for not going anywhere, and now I had to face Noah, at a
point in our relationship that was becoming catastrophic. The situation was spiraling
out of control.
I called her to let her know that I was coming to her apartment, I called her to explain,
but as seemed to be her habit, she ignored every single one of my calls. I parked in
front of the residence after fifteen minutes and got out, pondering how to explain myself
and avoid fueling the things she had already thrown in my face. The last thing I wanted
was for that time she kept asking for to stretch on indefinitely.
Damn Sophia for running her mouth.
I knocked on the door three times and waited for it to be opened. It wasn't Noah who
answered.
"Shit."
"Leister," Briar said in a sugary voice. She was only wearing a skimpy nightgown. Her
red hair was tied up in a bun on top of her head, and her face bore that smile that
brought back such bad memories.
"Is Noah here?" I asked, looking past her without paying much attention.
"She's in her room," she replied, stepping aside and letting me in.
Well, it hadn't been that difficult. I ignored her and went straight to Noah's room, but
when I opened the door, I found it empty.
Turning around, Briar observed me with a devilish smile on her face. She had perched
herself on the kitchen counter, and the nightgown had ridden up her thighs.
"I forgot she wasn't here... Sorry, I have a bad memory."
I ignored her and headed straight for the door. When I tried to open it, I found it locked.
I closed my eyes, trying not to let my anger overpower the little common sense I had
left.
"Open the damn door."
"You're still as foul-mouthed as ever."
She hopped off the counter and opened the fridge.
"Do you feel like having a beer?" she offered, and her eyes scanned me from head to
toe. "Or maybe I can offer you something else... I think your beer days are behind you,
am I wrong?"
The last thing I wanted in that moment was to have a confrontation with that girl. Damn
it! I had tried to ignore the fact that Noah lived with her, but I knew that sooner or later, I
would end up running into her. I had just hoped it wouldn't be that day.
"Briar, I'm not playing your game, not today, not ever. Open the door."
She leaned her back against the counter and took the keys out of her bra.
"Do you want them?" she whispered lasciviously. "Come and get them."
In less than three strides, I stood in front of her. Her wild green eyes observed me with
amusement, but I knew what was behind that. Briar hated me, and rightfully so.
"Give me the keys, Bri," I ordered, holding my breath. "Don't play with me, you know
you can't."
My words made the smile vanish from her lips.
"I thought I wouldn't see you again."
I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.
"Neither did I... and especially not living with my girlfriend; Briar... you mustn't tell her
anything, do you hear me?"
Bitterness crossed her features, and I fell momentarily silent.
"Are you worried that what I might tell her will open her eyes, Nick?" she asked
innocently. Briar Palvin had thousands of different faces, but I had discovered each and
every one of them.
If Noah found out... Suddenly, I felt afraid.
"I love her," I confessed, trying to make her see that I was being completely sincere.
My words were met with a disgusted sneer.
"You don't know how to love anyone, especially not that girl. You don't deserve her."
God knew I didn't deserve her. I didn't need this, not now. I didn't want to stir up old
memories, to feel the guilt of back then all over again.
I had left all that behind, right before moving back in with my father, a year before
meeting Noah. But Briar shouldn't be here, she left, she left and swore never to return.
What the hell was she doing here again?
"Maybe you're right, but I'll be with her until she says otherwise."
Briar stared at me in disbelief. Her hand rose and grazed my cheek with her fingers.
"You love her," she said as if it were impossible. "How could I think you'd be any
different?"
When her hand started stroking my hair, I grabbed her wrist and forced her to step
back.
"I'm not the same person you knew three years ago: I've changed."
A smile appeared on her plump lips.
"A born asshole dies an asshole, Nick."
I pulled her forcefully, losing control for three endless seconds.
With my other hand, I forced her to release the keys, and then I took a step back,
taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself.
I looked at her again, and a pang of pain and guilt erased the anger.
"I know it won't mean anything to you... but I'm sorry for what I did to you, I truly am
sorry for what happened."
"Feeling guilty makes you feel good, Nicholas, not me. Now get out."
She didn't have to tell me twice. But before leaving, I wrote a note and left it under
Noah's pillow. I had made a decision.

47

NOAH
When I left Leister Enterprises' offices, I went straight to Charlie's house. I didn't want
to see anyone who could persuade me that I had no reason to be so angry with
Nicholas. I didn't want to hear Jenna tell me that she understood me but that Nick had
every right to consider accepting a job that many would kill for.
I wanted to be selfish, I had to be selfish when it came to Nick. Two years apart... We
had been together for a week, and we were driving each other crazy.
I had never been to Charlie's house, but I had driven him there once, so I knew the
address. When I rang the doorbell, I heard a noise behind the door, and then he
opened it in a state that I was quite familiar with: he was drunk.
"Noah?" he said, pronouncing my name correctly, although his eyes were red, and he
reeked of alcohol.
"Hi... Do you mind if I join you?"
Drowning my fears and insecurities in alcohol was exactly the opposite of what I should
be doing, but a drink wouldn't hurt anyone.
Charlie smiled and invited me in. We spent the day locked in his room, sharing all kinds
of secrets accompanied by a bottle of tequila. I told him about what was happening
with Nick, and he confessed that he was in that state because his current boyfriend
had left him. He also talked to me about his addiction to alcohol, which made me feel
immediately guilty: getting drunk with him wasn't helping him overcome his
dependency, although in my defense, I must say he was already quite drunk when he
opened the door.
When I left Leister Enterprises' offices, I went straight to Charlie's house. I didn't want
to see anyone who could persuade me that I had no reason to be so angry with
Nicholas. I didn't want to hear Jenna tell me that she understood me but that Nick had
every right to consider accepting a job that many would kill for.
I wanted to be selfish, I had to be selfish when it came to Nick. Two years apart... We
had been together for a week, and we were driving each other crazy.
I had never been to Charlie's house, but I had driven him there once, so I knew the
address. When I rang the doorbell, I heard a noise behind the door, and then he
opened it in a state that I was quite familiar with: he was drunk.
"Noah?" he said, pronouncing my name correctly, although his eyes were red, and he
reeked of alcohol.
"Hi... Do you mind if I join you?"
Drowning my fears and insecurities in alcohol was exactly the opposite of what I should
be doing, but a drink wouldn't hurt anyone.
Charlie smiled and invited me in. We spent the day locked in his room, sharing all kinds
of secrets accompanied by a bottle of tequila. I told him about what was happening
with Nick, and he confessed that he was in that state because his current boyfriend
had left him. He also talked to me about his addiction to alcohol, which made me feel
immediately guilty: getting drunk with him wasn't helping him overcome his
dependency, although in my defense, I must say he was already quite drunk when he
opened the door.
—If my brother sees me like this, he'll kill me," he said at one point. "He thinks his shitty
therapies can help me, but the one who should be in therapy is him... He can be a jerk
when he wants to, you know? You have no idea what it was like growing up with him
after our mother died..."
It hurt to see that he wasn't the cheerful and carefree guy he had initially appeared to
be. I knew nothing about all of that, and I understood that everyone had secrets they
didn't want to reveal to anyone.
When I realized that drinking alcohol wasn't going to solve anything, I suggested we
grab something to eat and watch a movie. We laughed our hearts out watching Shrek,
and I forgot about everything related to Nick for a few hours.
It had been a while since I had a friend with whom I could share simple moments like
this. Jenna was wild, and our plans usually involved going out partying or shopping.
Rarely had we just hung out on the couch.
It was almost evening when the apartment door opened, and Michael walked in looking
angry. I didn't expect to see him there, and suddenly I realized that this was also his
place. Charlie lived with his brother because he could barely afford to pay for college.
I don't know why I got nervous, maybe because I was used to seeing him in his office
and because he knew almost all of my secrets, fears, and insecurities. His eyes
scanned the living room until they landed on me. Something strange crossed his
features, and I sat up on the couch as if I was about to be scolded. We had stopped
drinking hours ago, and Charlie had even taken a cold shower, appearing quite calm,
so I prayed that he wouldn't notice what we had been doing.
Charlie sensed the sudden tension in the air.
"What's up, little brother?" he greeted him. "Do you want to watch a movie with us?"
Michael began taking out the items from the grocery bag and placing them on the
kitchen counter.
"Have you guys eaten anything?" That was his response. He didn't even greet me, and
everything felt so strange that I sat up, ready to leave.
"I think I should go," I said, picking up my bag from the couch.
Michael stared at me intently before speaking.
"I brought food to make dinner. You can stay. And you can also tell me why you
decided not to come to the session today; I've been waiting for you until seven."
Shit! I had completely forgotten... That's why he was acting so strange; I had stood him
up.
I caught a glimpse of Charlie watching us out of the corner of my eye, and then he said
something about needing to clean his room.
How convenient.
I approached the kitchen counter where he was casually placing the groceries.
"I'm sorry, I completely forgot."
Michael remained silent for a few seconds, and then a kind smile formed on his lips.
"Don't worry about it. We'll catch up in the next session. Do you like mushroom
risotto?"
He suddenly seemed so relaxed, nothing like how he had walked in through the door,
nothing like the look he had given me a few seconds ago. I nodded, leaving my bag on
the chair and deciding it was best to stay. I didn't want to be rude after leaving him
hanging at the clinic.
I put on an apron and helped him with the mushrooms and the sauce. Charlie had no
clue about cooking and mostly just bothered us and stuck his finger into the hot pot.
We sat at the small coffee table in the living room, on the floor, and ate while chatting
about trivial things. It was nice to see Michael so relaxed and also strange to see him
outside of his work environment. He seemed younger, and he was great in the
kitchen—the risotto was to die for. It was interesting to exchange recipes with him.
That night, I returned home with a little smile on my face. I had been relaxed and at
ease, something I hadn't felt in a long time. With Nick, everything was so intense. A
single look from him would send my entire body into tension, and a touch of his lips
would make my stomach ache.
It was one of those situations where you want to escape from something so intense,
spend at least a few hours in a bubble where no one can enter, turn off the phone, and
just forget about everything. Feel nothing. Just be with yourself, and that's enough.
That night had been like that. I had been able to breathe deeply, to be just Noah, and
not someone else's Noah. But as soon as I entered the apartment and went to my
room, I saw Nick's note.
I picked it up and nervously started reading.
"I'm going to give you more time; if that's what you need, if that's what I have to do for
you to realize that I love you and only you, then that's what I'll do. I don't know what
else to do to make you believe me, to make you see that I want to take care of you and
protect you forever. I'm not going anywhere, Noah. My life and my future are with you,
my happiness depends solely on you. Stop being afraid: I will always be your light in
the darkness, my love."
My heart sank as I read his words, and I felt even more guilty for what I was putting him
through. Nick was willing to give up a unique job opportunity for me...
I went to the living room to get a bottle of water and slumped onto the couch. I was a
complete mess, that was the truth. I was afraid that if Nick stayed, in the future he
would resent me for wasting that opportunity. Sophia's words kept echoing in my head
— "You should support him in this, Noah" — God! Why was she meddling? Why was
she talking as if he mattered to her? Why did Nick keep her informed about this and not
me?
I hated Sophia, truly hated her. I knew it was for unfounded reasons, but it was
jealousy speaking, the jealousy of seeing someone who was perfect for him, and then
looking at myself and knowing that I was the opposite.
I don't know how long I sat there on the couch, but I must have fallen asleep. When the
light coming through the windows woke me up, I realized I wasn't alone.
A pair of eyes were watching me as I sat up carefully on the couch. Briar was sitting
there, holding a cup of coffee.
"Good morning," she greeted with a strange smile.
"I fell asleep..." I excused myself.
"You have mail," she announced, handing me a white envelope.
I quickly read it and realized that I had completely forgotten about that matter.
It was the invitation to the gala celebrating Leister Enterprises' sixtieth anniversary.
"Shit!"
Briar took the envelope from my hands and read it.
"Is this the gala that some media outlets have been talking about for almost a month?"
I had no idea about that, but I nodded anyway. It was the damn party where Nick and I
had to act like loving and respectful siblings. Damn it, this was the worst timing to
attend an event like this, especially when we were fighting.
"Damn it, couldn't it be at a worse time?" I exclaimed, getting up from the chair and
pouring myself a cup of coffee.
Briar looked at me with a strange glimmer in her eyes.
"It says here that you can bring a guest, but if I'm not mistaken, you're not speaking
with your boyfriend at the moment, right?"
More or less, it was more complicated than that, but I had forgotten about the plus one.
Nick had told me we would go alone, so I guess I was going to have to endure the
damn party in the company of an angry boyfriend, alongside parents I barely spoke to,
and people I had never seen in my life.
"The truth is, I don't know where we stand, but no, I'm not going with him..." I rested my
head in my hands and closed my eyes tightly. The party was happening that weekend,
and something told me that I wouldn't have resolved things with Nick by then.
"If you want, I can accompany you..." Briar proposed a few seconds later. I lifted my
head and looked at her. "Seriously, I don't mind. Besides, at events like this, I can meet
influential people... You know, there's nothing like a good contact. We'd be doing each
other a favor: I'll keep you company so you don't get bored, and in return, I can flirt with
some important agent."
I considered what she said, and it didn't seem like a bad idea. It was clear that it was
better to go with her than to attend alone.
"Do you really not mind? It's going to be a pain, and I'll have to play the role of the
perfect daughter, greeting people and taking stupid photos."
Briar smiled and shrugged.
"I can handle it. Plus, it could be fun to shake things up a bit, don't you think? Let's
make this party a little more interesting."
I sighed, realizing that she was right. Going with Briar might add some excitement to an
otherwise tedious event.
"All right, let's do it. Thanks, Briar. I owe you one."
She grinned mischievously.
"Don't worry, I'll collect that favor someday."
We both chuckled, momentarily forgetting about the complications and uncertainties in
our lives.
She smiled, revealing her beautiful white teeth. When she smiled, she seemed like an
angel fallen from the sky... Briar completely puzzled me; I still couldn't decipher her.
"I don't mind at all. You're the one doing me a favor," she said.
With that, she turned on her heels and entered her room.
Only two days left until I had to see Nick at the Leister gala, and I had no idea how we
were going to act around each other. I was surprised by the distance he was truly
keeping from me, and an insecure part of me wondered if there was another hidden
reason behind it.
"Just two days, Noah, just two days. In two days, you'll see him, and everything will be
back to normal."
I kept repeating that to myself and tried to distract myself with shopping for the gown
and other things for the gala. The protocol required women to wear long dresses and
heels. That afternoon, I had called Jenna, and we were walking and chatting while
looking at shop windows in a shopping mall.
"I was thinking of going, but Lion has been calling me every day for the past week. He
insists on wanting to see me, take me out to dinner, talk and see how I'm doing... What
about you, Noah? I miss him so much that it hurts, but I'm scared... I'm scared that he'll
hurt me again, scared that everything will go back to how it always was."
I listened to my friend and couldn't help but compare myself to her. Although Nick and I
hadn't broken up—I couldn't even consider that possibility—this separation seemed like
it would mark a turning point in our relationship.
"You have to go, Jenna. Lion deserves at least for you to listen to what he has to say.
You've been apart for over a month now, it's time to lay all the cards on the table. And
no matter how much you insist that you're better off without him, we both know that's
not true."
Jenna started compulsively biting her nail, and a smile appeared on my lips.
They were meant to be together, and I don't know how they didn't realize it.
I tried on at least twenty dresses. My mother had authorized me to use the emergency
credit card for all the purchases. I had considered borrowing a dress, but I wanted to
have peace of mind at the party.
So there I was, strolling through clothing stores like Chanel, Versace, Prada... as if I
didn't have enough financial problems. Part of me considered buying a second-hand
designer dress, which cost half the price, so I could keep the rest of the money to pay
for rent, food, and other basic necessities of life. However, I dismissed the idea
because I was sure my mother would check the credit card statement and find out.
Finally, we ended up at Dior, a store that drove Jenna crazy. The prices were
outrageous, but I let myself be carried away by my friend, pretending that I wasn't
buying for myself, as if I were placing an order.
The downside of entering places like those is that the worst can happen: you fall in love
with a dress. I was in the middle of the store, it was worn by a mannequin, and my
eyes were drawn to it as soon as I entered.
"Oh my God, Noah... this is it, this is your dress," Jenna said next to me, just as
astonished as I was.
I observed the pearl gray fabric, touched the softness of the silk with my fingers, and
admired how beautiful it was.
"You have to try it on," Jenna urged me, and a second later, a sales assistant treated
me as if I were some kind of Hollywood celebrity. They took us to a nearby room and
helped me put it on. The top of the dress was a kind of corset with small silver
diamonds. The skirt cascaded down to the floor, enhancing my figure and accentuating
every curve as if it were water flowing over my skin. It also had a high slit on one leg
that almost reached the hip. God, it was simply perfect.
When I stepped out of the fitting room, Jenna's eyes widened, and she stared at me.
"Damn, you look incredible!"
I lowered my gaze and picked up the small tag on the side. I almost choked when I saw
the price.
"It costs five thousand dollars, Jenna."
Her eyes didn't show any surprise.
"And what did you expect? This isn't GAP. You have to measure up, trust me, your
dress will be one of the more normal ones. And you look divine, Noah; seriously, I think
I'm going to cry."
I rolled my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror again.
The dress was beautiful, and the pearl gray color contrasted perfectly with my tan and
hair color. This dress was meant for a special occasion, to be flaunted in front of
cameras... to be flaunted in front of Nick.
Yes, I definitely wanted to see Nicholas's face when he saw me arrive in something so
beautiful. If the gala was going to be the day of our reunion after two weeks of barely
speaking... as Jenna rightly said, I had to look spectacular.

48

NICK

One day was left before the gala, and Noah and I hadn't spoken again. I was worried,
worried about her, about us. I felt a tightness in my chest that prevented me from
working. That morning, my father had stopped by my office, handing me the invitations
for the following day and reminding me of what Noah and I had been asked to do about
a month ago. I hated having to see her after so many days without touching or
embracing her, and having to act as if we meant nothing, as if everything was turning
out to be a damn tasteless joke. My bad mood was palpable in the air; anyone who
came into contact with me could tell. I had already had so many arguments with the
staff that I hadn't been fired just because of my last name, Leister.
"I've rented three cars to take us tomorrow, one for Ella and me, another for Noah and
her friend, and another one for you and Sophia."
My eyes immediately lifted from the paper I was reading absentmindedly.
"What did you say?"
My father gave me a look that made it clear that I wasn't the only one who had woken
up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.
"Aiken asked me, Nicholas, and I won't argue about this. He won't be able to attend
tomorrow: Sophia will go in his place, and he asked me to come with the family."
"Does she even know?" I asked, getting up and slamming the office door shut. "Sophia
told me she wouldn't attend the gala, that she was leaving for Aspen tomorrow
morning."
My father took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"That was before Riston had an important matter come up in Washington. They can't
stay, so Sophia will go in his place. Riston asked me to go with you, and obviously, I
said yes."
I shook my head, knowing the amount of trouble this was going to cause me.
"We'll go in the same car. But I won't be her date."
My father looked at me with indulgence. I was talking nonsense. If we appeared
together in the same car, it didn't matter that the invitations were individual; people
would think we were going together... and so would Noah.
"You're causing me problems with my girlfriend," I muttered under my breath.
My father sighed, heading towards the door.
"Your relationship with Noah is already costing you enough, son... If she can't handle
you arriving at a party with a friend, I think you should reconsider many things."
I ignored his words and let him leave. I couldn't let Noah arrive at the gala and see me
with Sophia. I had to tell her before. The last message I had received from her was a
simple "thank you." I had promised her space, but if I didn't explain about Sophia,
breaking up would be the least of my problems. I got up, grabbed the car keys, and
headed straight to her apartment.
I was lucky that just as I arrived at her building, she was entering through the other
entrance. She parked her car next to mine, and her eyes widened in surprise as she
saw me get out. I waited anxiously for her next reaction.
She approached me cautiously, coming to a stop and looking at me nervously.
"I'm glad to see that you're still here and not in New York."
She turned her back and climbed the steps leading to the entrance of the apartments.
Damn, was she still angry? I cursed under my breath and followed her, determined to
resolve and settle that matter once and for all.
I noticed the dress she was wearing and got caught up in its curves as she struggled to
open the door. I had never seen her in that dress before: it was yellow with small
flowers all over.
She finally managed to open the door... I would have helped, but I was too busy
admiring how the dress swayed against her backside.
As she entered, she turned around, pursing her lips tightly.
"Stop staring at my ass, Nicholas Leister."
I burst out laughing and closed the door behind me. I glanced around the apartment
and listened attentively for any sound that might indicate Briar's presence, but there
was no trace of her.
"I just like your dress, nothing more," I admitted, looking at her intensely. God, I hated
that dress, I hated the way it clung to her chest and swayed above her knees.
Noah looked at me condescendingly and placed the bag she was carrying on the
kitchen counter.
I approached, waiting for her to say something else. She seemed nervous, and I hadn't
expected that.
It was Noah, I knew her like the back of my hand.
I watched her with amusement as she opened the fridge and took out two beers.
"Do you want one?" she asked, and I saw her cheeks flush, either out of nervousness
or maybe just because I was practically devouring her with my eyes.
"Sure," I replied, reaching out and lightly brushing her fingers as I took the bottle.
I was clearly aware of the shiver that little touch caused her, but I pretended not to
notice anything. I was there to calm things down, to talk and explain about New York,
although the truth was that all I could think about was sliding my hands under that
dress and making her tremble for real.
I lowered the bottle to the edge of the counter and with a sharp movement of my hand,
I opened it, then brought it to my lips. Noah watched me intently, glanced down at her
beer, and for a moment, she seemed a bit lost.
I smiled slightly, took another sip, and approached her.
"Here, freckles," I said, handing her my bottle and taking hers to open it in the same
way.
I was aware that with that movement, I had significantly shortened the distance
between us.
Her lips hesitated, but they brought my bottle to her lips and let the cold liquid slide
down her throat. I watched in awe as her neck slightly contracted to receive its
contents. I took a deep breath, trying not to close the space between us; something
told me it wasn't the right time yet, at least if I wanted to receive a pleasant response.
But I couldn't control the way I devoured her with my eyes.
Nervously, she moved away from me and went to the couch. She didn't seem sure
about what to do next and absentmindedly started arranging the magazines. I leaned
against the counter and observed her.
She continued organizing random things, and I remained silent. She did it for a few
minutes until she turned to me, left the magazines on the couch, and exasperatedly
pushed her hair back.
"Stop staring at me!"
I smiled playfully.
"You're leaving me with no options, love. I can't touch you, I can't look at you... being
your boyfriend is becoming quite torturous."
She crossed her arms and looked at me, a mix of irritation and nervousness in her
eyes.
"Why did you come, Nicholas?"
I observed her for a few seconds. We were only a couple of meters apart, yet it felt like
we were miles away from each other, which didn't sit well with me. I missed her so
much... I knew I had promised her space, that I had only come to personally tell her
about Sophia, but before that, I wanted to make sure we were okay. Or as okay as we
could be.
"I know I told you I would give you space, but I had to see you, even if it's just for half
an hour," I explained.
She looked at me with uncertainty evident in every feature. I don't think I had ever seen
her so lost. She approached me, but she left an uncomfortably wide space between us.
I took a step forward. She slightly retreated until her back hit the counter.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she blurted out, her voice tinged with bitterness.
Her question wasn't unexpected. I knew that the thing that had bothered her the most
about the whole New York situation was finding out from others.
"Because going anywhere was never part of my plans, at least not without you," I
replied.
She nervously bit her lip, and I wanted to pull it down, but I didn't know if touching her
was a good idea... at least not at the moment.
"So, you would... if I went with you, you would go..." It wasn't a question, and the truth
was that I hadn't even considered it.
"I'm fine where I am now, Noah. I like my job and the direction my future is heading."
Inheriting my father's company didn't excite me, as it meant working for him for
countless more years, but that was a minor detail compared to what it meant to work
for the Leister company.
Noah's eyes searched mine, and I tried to decipher what was going on in her mind.
"Wouldn't you even ask me?"
I frowned. "Do you want to come with me to New York?"
"No."
"Then?" I replied, letting out a frustrated sigh and tilting my head back.
"I don't want to leave, obviously, because I just started university here. It's been just
over a year since I left Canada, but... if it's so important to you, Nicholas, well... I guess
I would be willing to do it for you."
I lowered my head slowly and focused on her again.
"You would do that for me?" I asked, trying to see something in her face that would
suggest otherwise. But from the way she looked at me, I knew she was being sincere.
Noah's confession came as a whisper. "Nicholas... I love you," she confessed, "even
though things aren't great between us right now... If you asked me and it was important
to you, I would say yes, I would go with you anywhere, and you know it."
A wave of infinite love flooded the very core of my chest, that hole I had been feeling in
the center of my soul during the two weeks we had been apart. Damn, the distance
had hurt!
I took a step forward, invading her personal space completely. My hand rested on her
waist, and I squeezed tightly, almost pinching her side out of the eagerness to make
her understand what I would do and give to be with her and make her happy.
Noah held her breath, and I think I could hear her heart racing.
"Thank you," I whispered.
My other hand moved up to her neck, brushing away her hair. I wanted to smell her
fragrance, to remember that essence that only she seemed to possess.
With the tip of my nose, I grazed her chin and neck, inhaling slowly and closing my
eyes afterward.
I heard her breath quicken almost at the same time as mine. Her hand held onto my
arm, and her entire body trembled when she felt me so close.
"I miss you," I said by her ear, "I love that you want to come with me, but I'm not going
to take that job, not yet. I want to stay here, and I know you do too, and that's exactly
what we're going to do, okay?"
I didn't wait for her response. I placed a hand on her nape and pressed my lips gently
to the hollow of her neck. A broken moan escaped her mouth. I lightly grazed her
collarbone with the tip of my tongue, tracing up to her earlobe and nibbling it lightly with
my teeth. Noah released the breath she had been holding, and I felt my body respond
to the reactions of hers. I pulled away for a moment and studied her intently. The
excitement and longing were so evident that I had to control myself from devouring her
right there.
"Have you had enough time?" I asked.
"No... I don't know."
I didn't like that response... maybe I needed to remind her how much I had missed her.
"I won't do anything you don't want to do, love," I whispered, placing my hands on her
waist. "I'll go slow, until you tell me to stop."
She didn't say anything, so I swiftly lifted her onto the countertop. Gently, I parted her
legs and positioned myself between them.
I smiled to reassure her, as she seemed very nervous. I understood that a lot had
happened between us, and I hadn't been up to par, especially in the past month. That's
why I took advantage of those two weeks to try to understand her, to try to figure out
what I had been doing wrong.
I brought my hands to her face and caressed those freckles that drove me crazy. With
my fingers, I traced the contour of her jaw, her full lips... Noah's chest rose and fell
noticeably under the fabric of her dress. On any other occasion, I would have already
undressed her, taken her to the bedroom, and my hands would have explored all those
places they adored.
But now, I wasn't going to make the same mistake again. I was going to take it slow,
making sure she was comfortable at all times.
"I want to kiss you."
She met my gaze in silence, but I had a feeling she wouldn't refuse, that she wanted it
as much as I did.
"I'm going to kiss you."
I pressed my lips against hers, with intensity, with longing, and I savored the pressure
of my mouth on hers, a unique connection that made all the negativity of my recent
days disappear. I bit her lower lip before soothing it with my tongue and then pressing it
firmly again. Her lips were the downfall of any man, and I was no exception. I slid my
hand up to her nape and leaned in closer, causing her to recline backward and rest
against my outstretched arm. Our mouths separated for a moment, only to claim each
other's again seconds later. This time, I slipped my tongue inside, eagerly seeking
hers.
She did it, she came to meet me, and her taste and response made me lose the little
control I had left.
Unable to do anything, my hands explored her entire body, while Noah sat up and
eagerly pulled me towards her with her legs. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and
we merged into a passionate embrace that could only lead to one thing.
My hands moved down to the edges of her dress, lifting it up along her thighs and
wrapping it around her hips.
I pulled away from Noah and leaned down to kiss her legs... I traveled up her thighs,
planting hot kisses while being careful not to leave any marks. Noah's hands pushed
me away and forced my head up. Her mouth was on mine again, and I breathed in her
desperation and her eagerness to touch me.
Carefully, I lifted her off the countertop, holding her by the legs, and walked with her,
her legs wrapped around my hips, until we reached her bedroom. I closed the door and
went straight to her bed. Her hand caressed my hair while the other held onto the back
of my neck. I positioned myself on top of her on the bed and gradually lifted her dress,
removing it over her head.
"I hate this dress you're wearing," I confessed, letting it fall haphazardly onto the bed.
"It's new," she said, pulling my neck downward and burying her lips in my neck. She bit
and sucked on that part of my anatomy, and I responded with a grunt.
"It's hideous."
My tongue caressed her jawline, and my teeth gently nibbled the hollow of her throat.
Noah laughed.
"You're a liar."
I observed her body, a body that seemed to have been designed for me, a body that
only I had caressed, touched, and kissed.
"I could spend hours just admiring you, Noah. You're beautiful in every sense of the
word."
She said nothing, simply observing me as I used one hand to remove my shirt and let
myself fall onto her bare torso. She wore a lace bra... so delicate that it felt like she was
wearing nothing at all.
I placed my lips against the thin fabric and felt it tense under my touch.
"Nick..."
She spoke my name in a fragmented manner, and that encouraged me to continue.
Carefully, I kissed her stomach, slowly trailing my fingers along her side, from top to
bottom, until I reached the hollow of her knee and lifted her leg, urging her to wrap it
around my hip. I positioned myself at her level and moved my hips against hers.
A wave of pleasure swept over both her and me. It had been too long.
Then Noah shifted, pushing me until I was forced to lie on my back, and with a swift
motion, she straddled me. Her blonde hair spilled over her shoulder, and she tucked
the strands that bothered her behind her ear.
I could see in her eyes that she was engaged in an inner struggle, so I hit the brakes.
My hands rested on her legs as I observed her until she finally spoke.
"I think... it's not a good idea for us to continue; I feel that if we do... we'll jeopardize
what we've been trying to clarify these past two weeks."
I felt like it wasn't her speaking, but rather that damn psychologist who had been
treating her. It was he who had encouraged her to separate from me during these
weeks and see how her body reacted to my caresses, to see in her eyes how much
she desired to continue... confirming my suspicions.
I sat up on the bed with her still on top of me, and I brought my face close to hers.
"Do you want to stop?" I asked her, a part of me wishing she would say no.
Her eyes seemed to be deliberating. Her hand caressed my jaw slowly, and her lips
descended to kiss mine.
"I don't want to, but it's for the best, at least for now."
I took a deep breath; our breaths were still heavy from our last kisses. I nodded and
gave her a kiss on the nose.
"Do you want me to leave?"
I saw something resembling fear cross her features.
"No, stay."
Her request seemed to hold much more meaning than just those words. I smiled and
lifted her to her feet beside the bed.
"Are you hungry?"
We had ordered sushi, and at that moment, we were sprawled on the living room
carpet... there was a terrible movie playing on the TV that we had stopped paying
attention to as soon as it started.
I leaned against the back of the sofa, and Noah sat facing me with her legs crossed
and a mischievous smile on her face.
"I don't believe you," she said, shrugging.
I raised an eyebrow and stood up, extending my hand for her to take.
"I'll prove it to you. Come."
She got up and waited for me to move some furniture around to create space. Then, I
went straight to the music player and searched for the tunes of the classics.
The first song that played was a classic by Frank Sinatra: "Young at Heart."
Perfect.
"Come closer, you little skeptic."
Noah looked at me with a mix of amusement and hesitation.
I approached her, wrapped my arm around her waist, and entwined my fingers with
hers. I observed her for a moment, and then I started to move. I led her, as I had been
taught, as I had done at least ten years ago.
At first, we moved slowly until Noah caught on, and I was able to lead her with ease.
"I can't believe I'm dancing with you in the living room, and to Frank Sinatra, no less.
What have you been smoking, Nick?" she said, laughing.
I smiled and gently pulled her away from my body, only to draw her back towards me,
this time with her back pressed against my chest. I cradled her in my arms as we
moved with increasing slowness. Her head rested on my shoulder as I held her close. I
kissed the top of her head and then turned her to face me.
Suddenly, I felt like we were back at the beginning of our relationship. I can't quite
explain it. Noah was smiling, looking relaxed, and I reflected her mood. My irritability
had vanished, and I felt an urgency to cherish that moment: her in my arms, moving
with me as if suddenly our problems had vanished after days of not seeing each
other...
My hand trailed down her back, holding her tightly. I clasped her other hand against my
heart, our feet moving slowly, without touching, simply letting the music guide us...
"I love you," I declared, feeling every letter, every one of those two words.
Noah didn't respond; she simply squeezed my hand tighter, kissed my chest, and we
continued... moving until the song ended.
We danced, or rather, we embraced each other to the rhythm of the music for a while.
It wasn't until I felt her weight fully against my chest that I realized she was falling
asleep. I slid my arm beneath her knees and lifted her off the ground.
"What are you doing?" she asked with half-closed eyes. "I want to keep dancing... I'm
good at it."
I smiled as I opened the door to her room and closed it slowly with my back.
"You're amazing at it, darling, especially when you can't stay on your feet."
I placed her gently on the bed, and she turned slightly, opening her eyes to look at me.
I took off my shirt and jeans, all the while never taking my eyes off her.
"You're staying," she asserted, a beautifully sweet smile playing on her lips.
"I'm staying," I agreed, making my way between the sheets. We got inside, and she
nestled up against me, resting her head on my chest.
"Now go to sleep, my love."

49

NOAH

I felt as if I were floating amidst white clouds in the midst of a sunset. I could feel the
warmth of the sun's rays on my body and that comforting sensation of having rested so
deeply that my mind struggled to bring me back to reality. I was so at ease, both inside
and out; the cold I had felt in the past days seemed to have vanished. And when I
finally managed to slowly open my eyes, I understood why: two beautiful, sensual,
heavenly orbs were gazing back at me. I felt the urge to close them; such intensity
without warning was not advisable for my already-revved-up hormones. His hand,
which was calmly resting on my back, began to trace circles on my warm skin.
"How long have you been awake?"
A smile appeared on his handsome lips.
"Since you started snoring, about an hour ago."
I looked at him angrily, grabbed the pillow, and threw it at his head. My movement was
feeble, as I wasn't fully awake yet.
I rolled on the bed, grumbling, and turned my back to him. Without waiting a second,
his body pressed against mine, pulling me closer to his chest. He joined our hands in
front of my face, and I observed our intertwined fingers. I couldn't see his face now, but
I entertained myself by watching his fingers play with mine.
"I miss you in my bed."
I also missed him, God, it was what I longed for the most. It was incredible the things
that could happen on a mattress in a room between two people who love each other,
and I don't just mean sex. It was in a global sense, the place of confessions, of
midnight caresses, the place of trust, the place where all insecurities were set aside, at
least when you were truly in love. There was something magical about sleeping with
someone and sharing the realm of dreams. Even though we hadn't touched each other
tonight, I was sure that my body and mind would have been at ease knowing he was
close by.
I moved his hand to the side and saw his tattoo. And I loved seeing those words on his
skin. I truly liked them because I had written them; it was me who urged him to do
those crazy things because we were in love... madly in love.
The previous night, when we danced and I felt the beat of his heart next to my ear... it
was something so special that I was afraid it would end. I didn't want it to end, which is
why I held on until my eyes and body surrendered. The Nick from the previous night
was the Nick I had fallen in love with a while back, the Nick I loved deeply. It was in
those moments that I understood we were perfect for each other. I wanted to believe
that we could leave the past behind, that if we kept fighting, we could make it work. It
was truly what I desired the most in this world, and I was willing to give everything
necessary.
But then, why couldn't I shake off the thought that what happened last night, along with
this intimate moment between us this morning, was the calm before the storm?
Nick made me turn so that he could position himself on top of me.
"You're very quiet... I wasn't serious about the snoring, you know you don't snore."
I smiled and raised my hand to brush aside a strand of hair that was falling into his
eyes.
"I really enjoyed dancing with you last night."
He gave me a smile, that smile I adored and that rarely made an appearance.
"I told you I was an excellent dancer."
I rolled my eyes.
"Conceited should be your middle name," I said, pulling away as he leaned in to kiss
me. I laughed when he tickled my ribs, making me jump from the tickling sensation.
"I don't have a middle name; middle names are for wimps."
"Well, I have a middle name, smarty."
He buried his face in my neck, and I could feel him laughing at my expense.
"Noah Carrie Morgan, oh my goodness! Your mother must have been drunk. You're not
going to seek revenge on me with your powers, right?"
I pushed him with all my strength, but he didn't budge an inch. Yes, I had read that
damn Stephen King novel, and no, my mother hadn't chosen that name because she
thought I would end up being a hated and disturbed girl. She simply named me after
my grandmother.
"Asshole!" I exclaimed, giving up and letting my body go limp on the mattress.
Then he fell silent, sat up, and stared at me intently.
"I love all your names, freckles."
He kissed my cheek and released me from his grasp. Once he wasn't on top of me, I
got off the bed. I needed to take a shower. I gathered my things while Nick dressed
beside me, glancing at me from the corner of his eye. He was suddenly quiet, and I
observed him curiously. Just as I was about to leave the room and head to the
bathroom, he took my hand and pulled me towards him, sitting on the edge of the bed.
He held me by the waist and lifted his head to look at me for a few seconds.
"I have to tell you something... and I don't want you to get mad." I furrowed my brow
and regarded him suspiciously. "I'm not going to the gala tomorrow alone."
Okay, I think that was the last thing I expected him to say.
"What do you mean?"
I was clearly aware that the tone of my voice had changed significantly. In fact, the
temperature in the room dropped a few degrees in an instant.
"I have to go with Sophia."
And just like that, all of a sudden, we were back to square one.
"Yesterday, I came to tell you in person. I don't want this to upset you; we're going
together as colleagues, nothing more."
"And why didn't you say it earlier?" I replied, angry.
"Because we were so good together, and I missed you so much..."
I looked at him, not wanting him to go with her... It was the last thing I needed at a time
when I felt like things were slipping out of my control. However, perhaps this was the
moment, as Michael had told me a thousand times, when I had to act with my head
instead of my heart, for once.
"Fine. Do what you have to do, and we'll talk when it's done."
I turned around to go to the bathroom, but before I could leave, Nick blocked my path.
"Tomorrow, when all this is over, we'll go far away from here for the entire weekend.
We'll go and sort things out because you know as well as I do that I would never look at
anyone other than you."
I let out a bitter laugh.
"Remember your words the next time you cause a mess out of jealousy."
He seemed to accept my response.
His hands held my face, and he looked into my eyes with a special gleam.
"I love you, and there is no one else in my thoughts but you."
I closed my eyes, allowed him to kiss me, and when he left, I went into the bathroom.
I tried to ignore all those negative thoughts that returned to haunt me, all those
thoughts I had been working on for the past two weeks, all those things I had been
trying hard to ignore, striving to change so I could feel better about myself, more
secure, braver. I couldn't go back to square one, no, I wouldn't. That's why I set aside
my ghosts and made an effort to trust Nick.
Now, one thing was certain: I was going to be so irresistibly provocative that my idiot
boyfriend wouldn't be able to take his eyes off me.
On the morning of the gala, I enjoyed the company of Briar and Jenna, who kept
talking, laughing, and making the day much more fun than I had expected. Jenna had
brought the hairstylist who did her mother's and her own hair for all these events, and
while we waited for her to arrive and style my hair, my apartment turned into a
full-fledged beauty salon.
We got pedicures, manicures, I underwent a complete body waxing, took a bath with
rose-scented salts to make my skin smell wonderfully good, and slathered my body
with an almond oil that my mother had bought me ages ago and that Nick once said
made him want to lick me all over.
I smiled at myself in the mirror in my most provocative lingerie set and swore to myself
that after that gala, I would give him the best night of his life, the best, it would be so
unforgettable that he wouldn't look at another woman for the rest of his life.
"Is this the dress?" Briar asked as she took it off the closet.
I nodded while glancing at my phone. My mother had sent me a message informing me
that a car would pick us up and take us to the estate where the party was being held. I
was getting really nervous; I didn't know how I was supposed to act or what to do when
we arrived, but I tried to set aside my fears and breathed a sigh of relief when Jenna's
hairstylist showed up. Briar insisted on doing her own hair since she was used to all
those red carpets her parents dragged her to.
I sat in a chair and let the eccentric woman named Becka work her magic on my hair.
She curled it all and intricately braided it into a spectacular updo. I endured all the
tugging because I knew it would look amazing. An hour and a half later, I smiled at my
reflection in the mirror.
"I love it," I declared, turning around to see myself from every angle. Jenna pulled out
the dress and handed it to me. I carefully put it on, admiring the delightful feel of the
silk against my skin.
"You're going to make a sensation," Jenna said, handing me the small purse she
carried, which could only fit my phone and a lipstick.
I gave her a quick hug. "Sort things out with Lion, Jenn. He loves you, don't forget that."
Jenna nodded, and I went off to find Briar.
My roommate was wearing a beautiful beige dress that hugged her voluptuous body,
leaving little to the imagination. Her hair cascaded in curls that she had gathered to one
side. She looked stunning.
We quickly said goodbye to Jenna and headed outside to the waiting rental car. I was
surprised to see that the driver was not a stranger but Steve, looking sharp.
He smiled when he saw us descending the stairs and handed me a rectangular box.
"From Nick," he said, looking somewhat solemn.
I looked at the box and the note he handed me with a stern expression.
Briar observed me curiously as I placed both items unopened on the adjacent seat.
"Don't you want to know what he bought for you?"
I shook my head, focusing my gaze on the road. I needed to keep a clear mind. We
would talk about everything when the night was over, and then I could allow myself to
open my heart to him.
The estate was located on the outskirts of the city, and the time it took us to arrive only
increased my nervousness. I was amazed to see that all the trees lining the path to the
party venue were illuminated with white lights. A line of limousines was waiting for the
occupants to disembark at the entrance of the white mansion.
When the car came to a stop, a suited man opened the door, and I had to control all my
insecurities. He helped us out, and at least thirty pairs of eyes immediately focused on
me.
"Good evening, ladies," the suited man greeted us, touching the earpiece he had on
and whispering something I couldn't hear.
My mother had told me not to stop for photos until I met her and William. When the
man gestured for me to follow him, I had to turn to Briar.
"I'm not going to miss out on this," she declared, observing the red carpet with an
almost calculated interest.
"Are you sure you don't mind staying alone?"
Briar rolled her eyes and turned her back on me. Her elegant legs began to walk
toward the crowd, and I knew I didn't have to worry about her.
The suited man signaled for me to follow him and led me to where a group of reporters
were interviewing numerous people. I felt overwhelmed by the crowd until my eyes met
my mother's... We hadn't seen each other since the night I left home a month ago, and
although enough time had passed to set aside our issues, seeing her made me realize
that there was still much to talk about between us.
"You look beautiful, Noah," she exclaimed when she saw me, leaning in for a quick
hug.
My mother looked like a movie star: her hair had been curled and pinned up with a
beautiful silver and diamond hairpiece. Her burgundy dress made her appear much
younger than she actually was. I had always been amazed at how well she preserved
herself because she wasn't exactly a fan of strict diets or anything like that.
"Thank you. You too," I replied, shifting my gaze and seeing William in a corner,
speaking with reporters from the Los Angeles Times.
From where I stood, slightly in the background but still facing the public, I could see
more cars arriving, and elegantly dressed guests descending from them.
My mother was chatting loudly by my side with the passing people. It was all madness,
and I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I was being introduced to more people than I
could remember, and we had to wait for William to finish talking to all the reporters so
we could take the damn family photos.
A commotion among the photographers caught my attention, and I fixed my eyes on
the car that had just stopped by the red carpet. The door opened, and my heart
stopped for a moment. There he was, and oh my goodness, no wonder I was going
crazy: Nicholas stepped out of the limousine, with a serious and professional
demeanor despite the photographers' shouts. He buttoned his suit jacket and extended
his hand to the girl who was with him in the car. Sophia Aiken emerged from the door,
adorned in a spectacular black dress, tight and incredibly sensual. I watched them from
a distance, suddenly feeling the urge to vomit.
I shifted my gaze and focused on the opposite point. At that very moment, William
separated from the journalists and came to greet me. I have to admit, Will was
beaming with happiness. I guess it was his night... By thinking so much about myself, I
hadn't realized how important all of this was to him.
"Thank you for doing this, Noah, you look beautiful," he said, smiling.
I nodded, ignoring the anger that was rapidly taking hold of me. One more glance was
enough for me to see Nick saying something to Sophia before parting ways with her
and heading towards us.
When our eyes met, I felt literally hundreds of butterflies fluttering incessantly in my
stomach. Nick's eyes widened when he saw my dress. Damn... Nick in a tuxedo.
Before I did something crazy, I turned my back on him and fixed my gaze on the
impressive gardens, the lights, and the journalists... Was that the well-known TV
presenter? And wasn't that the actor they had hired for Spielberg's new movie?
I felt his warmth a few minutes later, to the point that my whole body trembled at the
mere touch of his jacket against the back of my spine. I had Will and my mother right in
front of me, and their eyes shifted towards the newcomer.
"Hello, son," Will greeted him absentmindedly as the woman approached to say
something to him. My mother smiled at him, tense, and turned towards the woman who
was explaining how they were going to proceed with the photographs.
I kept my gaze fixed on the gardens. Without saying a word, one of his fingers subtly
caressed me from the shoulder to the wrist, incredibly tempting.
I turned to him with the intention of warning him with my gaze that the best thing he
could do that night was to leave me alone, no touches, no glances, no kisses, or
anything of the sort. However, all my warnings got stuck in my throat when I turned
around and saw him up close, there, in front of me, more imposing than ever.
His mouth didn't say anything, but his gaze said it all. I felt as if he was undressing me
in less than five seconds, as if simply with the trail of his eyes over my body, I could
feel the touch of his fingers on my skin, the caress of his lips, moist and delicious, on
every bare corner of my body.
"God, stop, stop, don't think about that now."
Without a word, he leaned in and kissed my cheek.
I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed in the familiar scent of his fragrance,
which mixed subtly with the smell of tobacco smoke. Had he been smoking because he
was as nervous as I was?
"You look beautiful," he whispered in my ear before stepping back and acting as if
nothing had happened.
He moved around me to approach the journalists. I stood there, motionless, stunned,
and then followed him with my gaze. He started answering many of the questions that
were being thrown at him, and I watched him from a distance. His way of moving, of
engaging in conversation with all those who wanted to know about the son of the
Leisters, the confidence in every one of his movements...
He stepped away from the journalists for a moment to look at something on his phone.
Automatically, my phone vibrated in my purse.
Nick had already put away his phone and was answering more questions. His father
had approached him, and now many cameras were focused on the two of them.
I lowered my eyes to the phone screen.
I'm going to slowly take off that dress of yours, so tonight will be the longest and most
pleasurable night of your life.
An inconvenient warmth ran through me, from my feet to gathering right in my cheeks. I
looked around, hoping no one would notice how much his words and mere presence
had affected me.
Finally, we were allowed to enter the ballroom while waiters served glasses of
champagne and appetizers on beautiful glass trays. Looking closely, there was glass
everywhere, and candles... yes, hundreds of candles and soft, white lights that invited
you to mingle, chat, and have an unforgettable evening.
Taking advantage of the crowd mixing, Nick discreetly came towards me.
"Did you like my gift?" he asked, walking by my side until we left the journalists behind.
I needed to get away from him. We had promised to sort things out once everything
was over, and I needed the night to pass as quickly as possible.
"I don't want gifts, Nicholas. I want to get through this night and forget that you came
with another woman."
He sighed and made a gesture as if to raise his hand, clearly intending to touch me,
until he realized he couldn't. His hand closed in the air, turning into a fist by his side. I
looked away, frustrated with the situation, frustrated with everything.
"I can throw all of this to hell, Noah, I can do it; in fact, right now, I want to bury my
fingers in your hair and kiss you until I run out of breath... So, a single word from you is
enough for me to do it."
I bit my lip, knowing that he was capable of doing it. If I asked him, if I told him how
hard this night was going to be for me, he would gladly do it.
But Will had asked us, and I wouldn't allow our parents to be even more against us.
"I'm fine," I assured him, wishing in that moment to take a step forward and have his
arms tightly around me. I missed him, I missed our moments, our caresses, and our
kisses. I missed the moments of Nick and Noah. Two weeks had been too long, and
last night hadn't been enough to catch up and fix things once and for all.
I noticed my mother's gaze a few meters away. We were attracting attention, damn it.
Nick captured every single look.
"You have to go, they're watching us, and the last thing I want is for all of this to end up
being for nothing."
Nicholas discreetly looked around and focused his intense gaze back on me.
"It will only be a few hours; then I promise I'll devote myself to you body and soul... until
everything goes back to how it was before."
His words hung in the air between us for infinite seconds.
"Until everything goes back to how it was before."

50

NICK

I reluctantly distanced myself from her. If it had been up to me, I would have asked her
to get in the car with me and we would have left. I didn't want to be there; I didn't give a
damn about what my father had asked of me. Right now, the most important thing was
to get Noah back, and I wasn't going to achieve that by hanging out with Sophia.
From the moment I saw her, I knew that night was going to be torture. People turned to
look at her; she was fully aware of how she was attracting everyone's attention
because she looked incredibly beautiful, to the point that it hurt to look at her. She
radiated beauty - her skin, her beautiful hair, her eyes, her face, and her body covered
in that dress that clung to her like a second skin. Her waist seemed so narrow that it
was hard for me to believe she could breathe inside that corset, but damn, it was worth
it just to be able to behold her.
My fingers itched with the desire to touch her, to kiss her, to taste her and love her for
hours. I missed her so much that I didn't know what the hell I was doing wasting time
with all this pretense.
I crossed the room, pausing only briefly to grab a drink from a passing waiter and bring
it to my lips without delay.
I knew coming with Sophia was a complete stupidity, and it was the last thing I would
do for my father. No more favors, no more playing games against my relationship with
my girlfriend.
Before reaching the main hall, where dinner would be served, speeches would be
given, and the event would be concluded with a performance by one of the best
orchestras in the country, my eyes met surprisingly with a pair of bright green ones.
I paused for a moment before cautiously approaching her, who was in a corner of the
room next to one of the small high tables placed around the area.
"What are you doing here?" I asked Briar, almost cursing under my breath.
She smiled playfully, but her eyes couldn't hide her venomous resentment.
"Morgan brought me. Did you really come with another woman right in front of her?,"
she said, looking over my shoulder. I turned slowly to see Sophia chatting with the
members of the company's board. Some of them were close friends of her father, so
she knew them well enough to feel comfortable around them. Sophia had made it very
clear that she didn't want to cause problems for me with Noah. In fact, she insisted on
coming alone, but I couldn't do that to her, not after the senator had asked my father for
it.
Nevertheless, we both knew that there was only a nice and professional friendship
between us. She had messed up by telling Noah about the job in New York, and her
apologies had been so sincere that there was no doubt that the last thing she wanted
from me was anything more than the hours we spent working together.
"She's my coworker, and besides, why do you care, Briar? Why did you come here?
We both know this is the last place you want to be."
Her expression involuntarily tensed, and her eyes scanned the room.
"It's clear that this world is still the same as always; the difference is that I'm no longer
so naive. The other day, you told me you had changed, well, I have too. The days
when I let myself be deceived are no longer here, so don't think for a moment that I'm
afraid to be here."
I closed my mouth and observed her calmly. I couldn't get involved in that matter again.
If I had agreed to attend the event, I assumed her words were true. I looked around at
the important people walking, talking, drinking, and showing off their endless
achievements, competing to stand out from the rest. Finally, I noticed Briar, the hidden
hatred behind that facade of a tough woman that she seemed to carry everywhere.
Before I had a chance to respond to her... something, or rather, someone, caught my
attention. My eyes shifted to the main entrance, and I felt my whole world dangerously
waver.
Anabel Grason had just arrived.
My mother was here.
What the hell was she doing here?
I clenched my fist tightly and moved away from Briar towards the other side of the
room. I couldn't believe that woman had the audacity to show up tonight. Damn it,
why? Why the hell had she come? I felt a pressure in my chest that almost made me
vomit.
I spun on my heels, suddenly seeing red, and before I could do something crazy, my
father's figure materialized out of nowhere, abruptly stopping me where I was. Looking
around, he grabbed my arm and pushed me towards one of the windows. The sun had
already set, and the light coming in was from the garden lampposts and the intermittent
moonlight due to the rapidly approaching clouds.
"Nicholas, calm down," he said.
I looked at him, his serious expression, his eyes fixed on mine, trying to capture my
attention, but all I could see was that woman I hated above all else.
"What the hell is she doing here!" I almost shouted, causing my father to hurriedly push
me further away from the rest of the guests.
"I don't know, but I will handle it. Listen to me, Nicholas, you have to calm down, do you
hear me? You can't make a scene."
I locked eyes with my father, and for a moment, I felt lost in the blue color of his pupils,
a darker blue than my own, clear like my mother's.
My father pleaded with me through his gaze and gently placed his hand on my cheek
for a moment.
"I'll talk to her; you don't have to.
I nodded, letting my father take control of the situation for once. I didn't want to see her,
I didn't want to talk to her; I just wanted her as far away from there as possible.
However, we all knew that she had come to say something—she had already tried to
contact me—but whatever it was she wanted to communicate, I was sure it wasn't
good news.
My father tried to convey a calmness he didn't even feel, and then he turned his back
on me, disappearing once again among the guests.
I searched for Noah with my eyes and saw her engaged in friendly conversation with a
group of people. She was unaware that danger was lurking, but before I could do
anything, like take her hand, hold her tightly, and whisk her away in a car, another girl
appeared in my line of sight.
"You should hear how the board members talk about you, Nick. It's clear that news
spreads fast. Everyone is wondering when you'll take the reins from your father,"
Sophia smiled sweetly at me, and I could barely respond with a nod. "Are you okay?"
Okay? I was in hell.
My eyes scanned the room again, searching for Briar. I couldn't see her anywhere, and
anxiety began to grip every particle of my being. Too many problems in one place.
Before I could reply to my colleague, people started making their way to the dining hall.
I tried to calm myself and placed my hand on Sophia's waist, guiding her to our seats
at the table.
As we entered the hall, I appreciated the dim lighting because I felt so out of place that
the last thing I wanted was a spotlight on me. My family's table was in the center, near
the stage where the orchestra was playing, where speeches would be delivered, and
where the small charity auction for the NGO that the company had supported since the
beginning of time would take place. Upon reaching the table, I saw that Noah had
already taken her seat next to her mother. She was alone because Briar had
disappeared. When she saw me arriving with Sophia by my side, her eyes averted with
pain.
"Fuck."
While Sophia greeted Noah politely and the other members of the table, before I could
sit down, the voice of the only person I would actually be glad to see that night reached
my ears and made me turn.
"Where's my grandson? Here's the pride of any headless grandfather!"
I couldn't help but let a smile appear on my lips as I saw my grandfather Andrew slowly
approaching the table. People were so distracted talking and finding their seats that
they didn't notice the arrival of the only man I held no resentment towards.
Andrew Leister was eighty-three years old and he was the person who had built this
empire. His once sparse gray hair had been as black as mine and my father's. My
grandfather had many things in common with my father, but he lacked his coldness. My
grandfather was the closest thing to a father I could have had.
All the unpleasant memories my mother had made me recall in a matter of minutes
vanished, replaced by those moments when my only concern was riding horses on my
grandfather's estate, fishing in the lake, and finding the most disgusting frog to put in
my father's closet just to annoy him.
The grandfather.
I extended my hand, and he, in his gruffness, pulled me into his arms.
"When were you planning to come see me, you little devil?"
I laughed and then stepped back, joyfully observing him.
"Montana is far, old man."
He grumbled in annoyance and stared at me intently from head to toe.
"There used to be no one who could get you out of there; now all you care about are
your stupid beaches and your stupid surfing, bah!" He snorted, circling around me until
he reached a chair. "Have grandchildren so that they can turn into the typical American
boy with balls."
I burst into laughter, grateful that no one, except for Noah, who couldn't take her eyes
off us, had heard his last comment. My grandfather had emigrated from England when
he was a twenty-year-old to start an industry in this country.
No matter how much time had passed here, it always reminded me that these weren't
my roots, and I shouldn't dare to say that I wasn't English.
My father arrived at that moment and looked at my grandfather with a mixture of
concern and affection.
"Dad," he said, extending his hand. My grandfather didn't pull him in for a hug like he
had done with me; he simply observed him and squinted his eyes with interest.
"Where is that new woman you have that you haven't introduced to me yet?"
My father rolled his eyes just as Raffaella made her appearance. This past year had
been so intense that we hadn't had time to travel and visit my grandfather, and now
that I had him here with me, I realized how much I had missed him.
Noah stood up and sought my gaze. She seemed uncomfortable when my father called
her over to introduce her to his father as his new stepdaughter. Those introductions
should have been completely different: for starters, I should have made them,
presenting her as the love of my life.
My grandfather smiled absentmindedly until he noticed Sophia.
"Don't you introduce me to your girlfriend, Nicholas?"
Sophia's smile, which had been polite while observing the proper introductions,
vanished immediately as she glanced at Noah. I observed her and hurried to clarify the
situation.
"Sophia isn't my girlfriend, grandpa. She's my intern. Senator Aiken's daughter."
My grandfather nodded.
"Oh yes, yes, it's better that she's not your girlfriend. I don't want my grandson involved
in politics, especially your father's."
Sophia was taken aback for a moment until I burst into laughter. Noah seemed to look
at my grandfather with a kinder gaze, and then we all had to take our respective seats.
It was my father's friend, Robert Layton, a board member, who presented the
company's anniversary. Everyone raised their champagne glasses to toast sixty years
of hard work. Then dinner was served.
My gaze wandered around the room, trying to locate my mother among the tables, but
there were so many people that it became impossible for me.
However, it was Raffaella who I noticed acting strangely. She barely touched her food
and seemed tense as she lifted the champagne glass to her lips. On the other hand,
Noah was engaged in a friendly conversation with my grandfather, who appeared to be
impressed by her, and then with Briar, who had shown up moments earlier with watery
eyes and slightly flushed cheeks. The visible effects of the alcohol she must have
consumed increased my anxiety and nervousness.
It wasn't until we were finishing dessert that my elegant and slender mother decided to
make her entrance. I tensed up as I watched her approach, stopping right next to
Noah.
A silence fell over my family, and it was Noah who turned pale upon hearing my
mother's voice behind her.
"Good evening, Leister family. Congratulations on the anniversary."

51

NOAH

My heart stopped upon hearing that voice. I remained so still that for a moment I
thought it had been my imagination, but a quick glance at Nicholas confirmed that what
I had heard was true.
Anabel Grason was there.
I turned my head just enough to see her standing beside me, and it felt like all the air
had been sucked out of my lungs.
"I'm glad to see all of you, especially you, Andrew. It must be a pride to have created
such an empire," she said.
I looked at Nick's grandfather, with whom I had been engaged in an interesting
conversation about the country's disasters and English literature. Now, I saw a tense
yet friendly smile on his refined and wrinkled lips.
"Good to see you, Bel. It's been years since the last time we met," he replied.
My eyes seemed to be in a battle over whom to look at first, whether it was Nicholas,
who seemed on the verge of committing a homicide, his grandfather, or my mother,
upon whom all my senses suddenly focused. She was as pale as the table napkins,
and her posture was as tense as the strings of a violin.
Before Anabel could respond with some fake and emotionless comment, William
pushed his chair back and, with his eyes fixed on his ex-wife, decided to take control of
the situation.
"We need to talk, and it's better if we do it in private," he said.
Anabel turned her slender body clad in a blood-red dress and gave him a tense and
clearly rehearsed smile.
"Surely Raffaella would like to be present," his mother said, looking up and fixing her
gaze on her in a clearly threatening manner.
"I advise you not to go there; it's neither the time nor the place," he replied.
What the hell was happening?
Suddenly, I felt fear, fear that the suspicions I had harbored since lunch with that
woman would turn out to be true.
Nick caught my attention, our gazes met across the space between us, and just then,
they announced over the microphone that it was time to take the dance floor.
Music started playing around us, and people stood up to join in on the dance floor, with
smiles on their faces and no clue about the family crisis unfolding right before their
eyes. They danced and enjoyed the party.
I knew I had to keep Nick away from her; suddenly, that became my top priority.
Turning my back to her, I approached him and intertwined my fingers with his. He
seemed lost for a moment, his gaze lowered to our joined hands, and I pulled him
towards the dance floor. I had no idea how the people at our table took our departure
together, nor did I know if it was quite obvious that the way we looked at each other
was anything but fraternal. Right now, all I wanted was to make sure Nick was okay.
I searched his eyes with mine, but he was so tense that he stared off to the other side
of the room. I looked in that direction and felt a knot in my stomach as I saw William
disappear along with my mother and his ex-wife into one of the rooms adjacent to the
hall where the gala was taking place.
"What do you think they need to talk about?" I asked, my throat tightening.
Nick lowered his gaze as if he had just realized that we were together.
"I have no idea, and I don't want to know either."
I could imagine the state he must be in. I had witnessed it on several occasions, and I
knew that it was likely he would explode, one way or another.
I raised my hand and placed it on his cheek, forcing him to look at me. Suddenly, I felt
as if the meeting I had with that woman months ago was the worst mistake I could
have made. I only had to see Nicholas's current state to know that the pain her mere
presence caused him was immeasurable.
If he found out that I had met with her...
"Nicholas, I have to tell you something..." I began, my voice trembling slightly. I didn't
know how he would react, but with his mother just a few meters away, clearly ready to
create a scene, I feared that she would reveal our meeting. And I knew that if Nick
found out from her... he wouldn't forgive me.
Nick tilted his head back slightly and looked at me.
"What do you have to tell me?"
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, trying to find the right words. But then
someone interrupted us: Sophia appeared by our side, her face filled with concern.
"Nicholas, I think you should go see your parents."
We both stepped back and looked at her, then turned our gaze toward the door.
"I'll go," I offered, trying to maintain my composure.
Nicholas grabbed my arm forcefully.
"No," he denied firmly.
"Nicholas, I don't care about her. You don't have to see her."
Nicholas seemed on the verge of losing control.
I turned my face toward Sophia.
"Don't let him near that door."
Before Nick could do anything, I freed myself from his grip and walked across the
entire hall.
The shouts became audible as soon as I approached the door. I hesitated for a
moment, unsure whether to enter or not. But remembering my mother's expression,
how tense she had become... I knew she needed me. That woman could be dreadful.
I opened the door carefully, and the three of them, William, Anabel, and my mother,
turned to look at me with faces flushed from the argument they were clearly having.
Anabel was by the window, and it was evident that she was enjoying the conversation.
William seemed on the verge of fainting, and my mother... my mother was sitting on
one of the sofas as if she wanted to disappear and never return.
"Oh, great! Come in, Noah. I think you should hear what I have to say," she said.
Upon hearing her, my mother changed her attitude, stood up, and stood between her
and me.
"Don't you dare involve my daughter in all of this! Don't you dare!"
William approached my mother and made a motion to put an arm around her shoulder,
but then the impossible happened: my mother shook violently and delivered a sharp
blow across his face. I was stunned: everything happened so quickly that I couldn't
even hear the door behind me opening and hands placing themselves on my
shoulders.
"Don't you ever touch me again!" My mother turned her back on William and came
towards me.
"Noah, we have to go, now."
Nicholas circled around me to position himself between my mother and me.
"What the hell is going on here?"
Then it was Anabel's turn to speak. She moved a bit further away from the window,
seemingly enjoying whatever it was that had caused my mother to slap the only man
she had ever loved.
"What's happening is that I've come to claim what's mine, that's what's happening."
William let out a bitter laugh, composed himself from the blow, and appeared angrier
than I had ever seen him in my life.
"All you want is the damn money, and now that you're going to divorce the stupid man
you call a husband, you come here spewing lies to ruin something that neither you nor
anyone else could prevent, and that is that I love that woman more than you can
imagine."
My mother turned around, tears almost overflowing from her eyes, and stood still in
front of me, her fingers trembling and her gaze fixed on her husband.
Anabel looked at my mother with disgust.
"Every day I wonder how you could deceive me for years with a schoolgirl who only
wanted someone to save her from a hell she brought upon herself."
I let out a choked breath. What had she just insinuated? She continued speaking:
"And now you act as if you're the best father in the world, throwing in my face that I left
Nicholas here, but you didn't give me a choice! You replaced us with her and had the
audacity to want to leave me out on the streets."
William laughed.
"I asked you for a divorce long before I met Raffaella. Nicholas couldn't have been
more than six years old. I told you that I no longer loved you, I promised that you would
want for nothing, but you didn't accept it. You wanted to continue the charade of a
marriage, you wanted to keep living under my roof, and I accepted it for the sake of our
son."
Nicholas listened to his parents arguing as if his life depended on it. He seemed to be
hearing the answers he had never had, trying to finally understand why everything had
ended the way it did, why he had grown up without a mother.
"What are they talking about?" I asked, looking at my mother, not understanding
anything. I stepped away from Nick and looked at William; suddenly, I found myself
entangled in something I hadn't even known existed. Two families intertwined in an
unimaginable way with terrible consequences.
"You and Raffaella knew each other for years?" Nick asked incredulously by my side.
Anabel turned to him and observed him, surprised. Then she looked at me.
"You didn't give him the letter, did you?"
I felt my heart start racing rapidly. Nick lowered his eyes to mine and looked at me, not
understanding.
I shook my head, the words stuck in my throat.
"I..."
"Noah and I had a rather interesting meeting a couple of months ago. It's incredible
what someone can do for a few simple bills and morbid curiosity, right, Noah?" Anabel
seemed completely out of herself. Nicholas took a step back and looked at me with
disbelief written all over his face.
"That's not true!" I shouted at that devil of a woman. "Nicholas, it's not what you think. I
agreed to meet her because she threatened to keep you from seeing Maddie, that's the
only reason I did it."
"And you meet her behind my back without telling me anything?!"
Nicholas's gaze pierced through my heart because never before had he looked at me
with such deep pain. I knew I was betraying him by meeting his mother, but I never did
it out of curiosity or for money. I did it for him. All that woman wanted was to keep me
away from him, and her mere presence was capable of unsettling Nick so much that he
seemed unable to hear what I was telling him.
"Nicholas, listen to me..."
He didn't let me complete a full sentence. He distanced himself from me, gave us all a
hateful look, and stormed out of the living room, slamming the door behind him.
I turned to the demon of a person standing behind me.
"You've only come here to inflict more harm than you already have!"
"You caused the harm by not doing what I asked," Anabel said, seemingly unperturbed
by whatever was happening around her. In fact, she appeared calm and collected
enough to continue spreading discord among us. Her expression hardened upon
hearing Nick's door slam shut, and her eyes turned back to William with determination.
"I came here to inform the father of my child that the girl is his and that he should take
responsibility for her."
For a moment, I couldn't comprehend what I had just heard. I looked at her, then at
William, who brought his hand to his head, and finally at my mother, shattered and
completely bewildered after slapping the last person she would ever lay her hands on.
And that's when everything made sense.
William took a step forward and positioned himself between her and the two of us.
"You know what, Anabel? You're a fucking liar, and I don't believe a word of what you're
saying."
Anabel opened her purse and pulled out some papers. She showed them as if they
were golden sheets, and I simply stood there, observing the soap opera unfolding
before me.
"It's the DNA proof. I always had my suspicions, but I never wanted to confirm it out of
fear that Robert would leave me. Now he has proven to be just like you. He's trying to
take everything away from me, and I won't allow it. Madison is your daughter, and you
have to take care of her."
I looked at my mother, who was frozen in place, not uttering a word. Tears started
rolling down her cheeks, and I didn't know if it was because she had just found out that
her husband had an illegitimate child or because, considering the circumstances, she
had to cheat on him for that to happen.
William snatched the papers from her hands and looked at them without saying a word.
Seconds passed until he finally looked up.
"This is a lie, all this shit is a lie. I haven't submitted any DNA test for these analyses to
be conducted, so you better disappear from my sight before I call security to kick you
out."
Anabel smiled confidently.
"These tests are genuine. It wasn't difficult at all to hire someone to break into your
house and get me a sample of your DNA. When they called you and told you that your
house had been broken into, didn't it strike you as odd that nothing was stolen except
for a hairbrush?"
My God... The burglars who broke into the house this summer... I couldn't believe it; it
was insane. Anabel had hired them and must have paid their bail to get them out of jail.
They probably hid the hairbrush from the police with ease.
William stared at her wordlessly because she had just dropped such a bombshell that
none of us could say anything.
Then it was Anabel who turned toward me and locked her eyes onto mine.
The emotions overwhelmed me, and I shouted, wiping away my tears forcefully.
"How could you? How could you leave me alone with him?"
My mother's face contorted with anguish as she tried to reach out to me, but I kept
stepping back, maintaining the distance between us.
"Noah, I never thought that could happen... You have to believe me... I never, I
always... I've always felt guilty about what happened, but..."
"How could you?!" I screamed, wiping away my tears violently. "How could you leave
me alone with him?!"
The weight of the revelations and the pain I had suppressed for so long consumed me.
My mother collapsed to her knees, her tears joining mine.
"I'm so sorry, Noah. I'm so sorry," she sobbed.
But her apologies couldn't erase the scars or the memories of the abuse I endured at
the hands of my father. I felt a mix of anger, betrayal, and heartache surging within me,
making it hard to comprehend everything that had unraveled in such a short time.
In that moment, my mother and I were both broken, grappling with the harsh realities
and the consequences of our actions. It was a profound and painful reckoning, one that
would require time and healing.
But for now, all I could do was let the waves of emotions crash over me and try to come
to terms with the shattered illusions and the truth that had emerged from the depths of
darkness.
As I stood outside, my heart pounding in my chest, I reached for my phone and noticed
several missed calls from Briar. I didn't know how I would be able to face the outside
world or explain what had just unfolded, but I tried to calm myself. Dwelling on the
inevitable was futile. My mother had earned the title of worst mother in history, and all I
needed in that moment was to escape that place. I needed the embrace of the only
person who could console me—the person who had left, looking at me with the same
hatred he had directed at his mother.
With a knot in my stomach, I dialed Nick's number. His phone was turned off,
something he rarely did. He always held it against me that I never picked up his calls,
and it dawned on me that his anger ran deeper. Nicholas truly saw my meeting with his
mother as a complete betrayal.
I leaned against the wall, feeling utterly defeated and lost. Tears streamed down my
face uncontrollably as the weight of everything crashed down upon me. In that
moment, I realized the magnitude of the damage that had been done and the
irreversible consequences that would shape the course of our lives.
But amidst the pain and chaos, one thing remained clear—I needed to find a way
forward, even if it meant facing the harsh reality of shattered trust and broken
relationships.
I couldn't believe how everything had become so complicated in such a short time. I
couldn't believe what my mother had done, how she had lied to me for years, about
leaving me alone, about her relationship with William, about everything. And now it
turned out that Madison was Will's daughter. How was Nick going to take it?
I was so stressed that I welcomed the moment when Briar walked through the door.
Her face froze when she saw me there, and she hurried over to where I was and
hugged me.
"Morgan?" she said.
I slumped onto the couch, and she sat beside me.
"I'm so sorry, Noah," Briar said, putting an arm around my shoulder.
"I can't believe what has happened," I started to say, unable to choose the right words,
unable to even tell her what was going on because Briar had no idea about my family
history or about me.
"I wish I could have warned you... really, I do. But that's how he is. He was that way
with me, and he'll be that way with you too. Nicholas is incapable of loving anyone."
My thoughts stopped for a moment, and my head slowly lifted until my eyes met hers. I
furrowed my brow in confusion. Briar raised her hand to wipe away the tears still
streaming down my cheeks.
"I was hoping you hadn't seen it, but... it's obvious that you have," she said.
I took her hand away from my face and looked at her, trying to understand what she
was saying.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, as a new terrible fear seemed to resurface from
the depths of my heart.
"I wanted to tell you... but then I saw how much you love him, and I decided not to say
anything. But after seeing him leave with her, Morgan, you can't let him do the same
thing to you that he did to me. He has no right to deceive you in front of everyone."
I shook my head, and I felt my hands start to tremble.
"He's been an asshole, Morgan. He has been from the beginning. He asked me to stay
quiet, not to tell you anything, and I agreed to do it because I thought he was truly in
love with you. But after seeing him getting involved with her, I refuse to keep lying..."
I felt like my heart was about to break because if what I was hearing was true, if what
Briar was saying was the truth...
"He went with Sophia, didn't he?" My voice broke on the last word, and Briar looked at
me as if trying to understand why I was so lost.
Without even realizing it, she had just dropped not one bomb but two, because I wasn't
crying over Nick, but over my mother. Yet Briar...
I stood up, and she did the same.
"Did you sleep with him too?"
Briar remained silent for a few seconds, and that was all I needed to know the truth.

52

NICK

I stormed out of that room so furious that, for a moment, the music, the people, the
candles, and the waiters completely disoriented me. My mind had been so far removed
from all that charade that seeing people so happy, drinking and dancing, almost drove
me mad.
Noah had seen my mother. Noah had met up with her. God, how could she have done
that?
Just the thought of her possibly hearing what that woman might have told her infuriated
me. I had made my stance clear regarding my mother: we didn't talk about her, we
didn't mention her, we didn't see her, nothing, end of story.
And now, on top of it all, I found out that my father had been having an affair with
Raffaella since I was a child. Now I had to reconsider everything because it wasn't the
same to think that my mother had left for no reason versus her leaving because her
husband was cheating on her. I had always believed it was the other way around, that
she had left to hurt my father. Now all of that was no longer true.
My life, from the moment I was born, had been a lie. A lie where neither of them,
neither him nor her, had been able to put aside their damn problems and prioritize me.
Suddenly, Sophia appeared in front of me, concern written all over her face, and for a
second, I wondered what it must feel like to have no worries beyond climbing the
corporate ladder. Sophia was a completely free-spirited girl. It had been so easy to talk
to her, chat about trivial things, and simply hang out...
"Nicholas, are you okay?" she asked.
I looked at Sophia again, her tanned skin, black hair, and dark eyes. What would Noah
think if I did something behind her back? How would she feel if I stabbed her in the
back?
Sophia kept talking, but I wasn't even listening... suddenly, anger consumed me, the
infinite hatred I had for everyone except Noah was now uncontrollable because the
light at the end of the tunnel had vanished. Noah had once again done what she
thought was right, without considering what I had said or done, or even what I had
desired. I was so angry, so furious with her and my mother that I didn't even realize
what I was doing until my lips forcefully met with the girl in front of me.
I felt strange. For a moment, I expected the dizzying sensation that always
accompanied kissing Noah to arise, but there was nothing of that sort. I only felt skin
against skin, and that made me even angrier.
With one hand, I pulled Sophia closer to my chest, squeezing her against me, and I
tangled my other hand in her hair. I stuck my tongue into her mouth, searching for that
consuming taste, that melting sensation. But there was nothing, damn it. I felt nothing.
It was then that she seemed to realize what we were doing and pushed me away.
"What are you doing?!"
My eyes fixed on her, analyzing her with meticulousness, searching for someone who
wasn't there in front of me.
"Shit!"
Sophia seemed speechless.
I put my hands on my head and downed the contents of the glass beside me in one
gulp. The alcohol burned my throat, but I was accustomed to the fire of alcohol.
"I need to get out of here."
I called Steve to wait for me outside as soon as I left. I pleaded with Sophia to leave
the party—it was for the best—and I set out to erase all evidence of what I had just
done. Sophia seemed dazed and a bit angry, but she did as I asked. She grabbed her
purse, walked out with me towards the outside, and got into one of the many cars
waiting there. As I stepped out, a gust of damp wind hit my face, and when I looked up
at the sky, it was dark and threatening.
I descended the steps without even being able to muster a strained smile at the
photographers, and I passed by the valets and other attendees outside, searching for
Steve, who was waiting for me at the end of the entrance. When I reached the vehicle,
I opened the door to sit in the back seat, longing to disappear.
"What happened, Nicholas?" he asked, leaving the premises and looking ahead with
seriousness.
Steve had been with me since I could remember. He was the one who picked me up
from school, took me to games, and was there for me when I couldn't count on my
parents. I had a special fondness for him, and for a moment, I wished I could open up
and tell him how I felt.
With my mind scattered in a thousand different places, it took me longer than usual to
notice the small box and the note that I had asked Steve to deliver to Noah that same
night. I put both items in the pocket of my jacket and stared out the window for a
moment. I had left Noah alone with my mother and our parents. I had left without
allowing her to explain, and to make matters worse, I had kissed Sophia in front of all
the guests. Suddenly, I felt nauseous and grabbed my phone. I had turned it off a while
ago, right after leaving that room, and when I turned it on, I saw a missed call from her,
about twenty minutes ago. I had behaved like a complete jerk... I dialed her number
and waited for her to answer, but she didn't; in fact, her phone was switched off. A
sudden uneasiness gripped my stomach.
"Steve, go back to the party... I'm going to get Noah out of that hell."
We didn't take long to arrive. From what I could gather, the ceremony had continued as
planned, so at that very moment, my father was on the podium delivering the speech
he had rehearsed so many times. I scanned the room trying to spot her, but in vain... I
didn't see Raffaella either. I didn't want to even think about why my mother had wanted
to stage that whole spectacle or why she had lied about Noah meeting her for money. I
knew well that Noah was incapable of being blackmailed, let alone for money.
With every passing minute, I felt more guilty for leaving. If what Noah had said was
true, she had only met with my mother so they would let me have Maddie with me.
Damn it, I had been a fool, behaving like a complete jerk!
Feeling increasingly anxious, I slipped through the crowd, which now raised their
champagne glasses in a collective toast. Then, the music that had been silenced a few
minutes earlier resounded through the speakers, along with the murmur of
conversations. That's when a red-haired mane entered my field of vision: Briar. I
approached her with determination.
"I'm looking for Noah. Have you seen her?"
Briar burst into laughter and looked at me with hatred.
"Now you're looking for her? You're the worst!" she exclaimed, shaking her head.
"There was a moment when I believed you, you know? I thought maybe you had
changed... Even a very small part of me, unlike the others, didn't hate you with all my
soul, and I was happy for you when I realized that, despite your problems, you had
finally been able to experience what it means to truly love someone."
"What are you talking about?" I said, taking a few hesitant steps toward her.
Her green eyes warned me that it wasn't a good idea for me to get closer.
"You know what? Your father was right when I saw him that last time. He told me that
you were incapable of loving anyone, that the hatred you held inside you was so great
that there would never be room for anything else, let alone for a nineteen-year-old girl
with a baby on the way."
I clenched my jaw tightly.
"Now I realize he was right... because Noah truly loved you, Nicholas, and you were
unable to reciprocate... You couldn't love me, you couldn't forgive your parents, and
there's no way you'll be able to love her because you know perfectly well that she's
better than you in every way."
"Where is Noah, Briar?"
I couldn't believe this was blowing up in my face again. Briar had no idea what I had
gone through, how much I regretted every day what my father had forced her to do.
Briar had been one of my many flings; I never intended for it to be anything more. I
thought I was just a passing thing for her too. Briar wasn't a saint—before me, she had
been with half the campus—but later I found out she had been in love with me. When
she found out she was pregnant, she came to tell me at my house, and my father
found out. Without me being able to do anything about it, he forced her to have an
abortion to avoid scandal. Briar was a troubled girl: she had grown up in an
environment as toxic as mine, with parents who didn't care for her or give her what she
needed. What happened between us caused her such a nervous breakdown that she
had to be readmitted to the clinic where she had been before. I tried to get in touch with
her, I tried a thousand times to apologize after escaping from my own hell, but it was
impossible: she had attempted suicide as a child, and the doctors categorically denied
me access to her for fear she might try again.
"I'm sorry for all of this, Briar... I truly didn't mean to hurt you, and I don't want to hurt
you or Noah now either, so please tell me where she is."
Her face twisted into a grimace before she looked me directly in the eyes.
"She knows you're cheating on her with Sophia, and she knows about us... She's gone,
Nicholas. She left over an hour ago."
That's when an irrational fear flooded my entire body, leaving me petrified where I
stood, with my heart about to burst from my chest.
"Oh God, what have you done?!"

53

NOAH

I couldn't remember how I had gotten into the taxi or when I called for it. In that
moment, I could only focus on trying to inhale and exhale because I was experiencing
a full-blown attack, a panic attack, so intense that my chest hurt as if someone were
about to rip my heart out.
I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened in the past hour. It felt like I
had been the protagonist of a psychological horror movie. Discovering that my mother
had lied to me about almost everything in my life had shattered me from within, but
when Briar told me that Nicholas had deceived me, that he had let me live with the
person he had been sleeping with for months and who he had gotten pregnant, only to
later force her to have an abortion, I couldn't bear it anymore.
Was it Nicholas we were talking about? How could he do this to me? How could he
have been lying to me like that, laughing at me, pretending not to know her? How could
they maintain such a charade? Why?
I had never felt something so strong, so terrible. Never before had I felt so betrayed by
everyone, because it had been everyone, every person I loved, who had betrayed me
that night: my mother, William, Nick, even Briar... I thought we were friends, I thought...
With trembling hands, I took out my phone from my pocket. I needed Jenna with me,
by my side, because I had no idea how to solve this. I couldn't see a way to recover
from such a blow.
"Are you okay?" the taxi driver asked, looking at me through the rearview mirror.
Okay? I was dying.
Jenna didn't answer the phone, and then Nick's image appeared on the screen. I
stared at it with infinite pain, a pain much more piercing than anything I had felt before.
Seeing his image, seeing that picture of both of us together, smiling at the camera, that
pain gave way to irrational hatred that consumed my soul—an intense hatred towards
him and anyone who wanted to hurt me.
I had already suffered enough. I didn't deserve this. How could he deceive me? How
could he throw away everything we had been through?
Then I knew that this was going to destroy me. Everything I had done, everything I had
endured to be worthy, to deserve it... it all shattered in an instant.
"We've arrived," announced the taxi driver just as thunder rumbled in the sky, making
me shudder.
I handed him the money and got out of the car.
Since Jenna hadn't answered my calls, there was only one person I could turn to. I
went to the entrance of the apartment building and called the number 18.
It wasn't the person I was expecting who answered, but in those circumstances, I
would take either of them. Michael came down to open the door, and his eyes widened
in disbelief when he saw me at the entrance, completely broken and barely able to
breathe. It didn't matter that I had only known him for a few weeks—he had helped me,
and most importantly, he understood me better than anyone because I had opened up
to him in ways I hadn't with almost anyone else.
With my vision blurred by tears, I took a step forward and collapsed against his chest.
His arms embraced me tightly, and right at that moment, right then and there, my heart
shattered into pieces on the floor.
Three hours later, I opened my eyes in a completely unfamiliar room. I had such a
terrible headache that for a few seconds, I struggled to focus on anything other than
the pain—not just the headache, but something else that eluded me, something I
couldn't grasp. Then the truth hit me like a bucket of icy water.
Tears began to slide down my cheeks again, silently, as if not wanting to make things
worse or add more drama. But there was no need to add anything; everything had
been and still was dramatic, from beginning to end. Everyone had warned me, every
person I knew had told me that this could happen, and there I was, sunk to the depths
for not being able to see it and accept it in time.
I leaned back on the cushions and looked around for a distraction. I noticed two lit
candles on the nightstand. I thought about getting up, but before I could do so, the door
opened, and there was Michael, holding a steaming cup in his hands. It felt strange to
see him in pajama pants and a simple gray shirt, but even stranger was knowing that I
was, indeed, in his bed, nestled in his sheets after having cried for hours while he
simply held me.
"Hey," he said, entering the room and sitting next to me. "I made you some hot tea with
honey and lemon. Your throat must be raw from all the crying."
I nodded, taking the cup and bringing it to my lips. I was so dazed, so lost that I didn't
know what to say or do. I moved my legs slightly under the sheets and realized that I
was no longer wearing the dress but a large, white cotton t-shirt.
Michael seemed to be weighing his words, and a single glance was enough to confirm
that he was even more tense than I was. I lowered my head, fixing my gaze on the
rising steam from my cup, and then I felt Michael's fingers gently wiping away my tears.
"He doesn't deserve a single tear from you, not a single one, Noah."
I knew what he was saying was true, but I wasn't crying for myself or for him—I was
crying for us, for Nick and Noah, for both of us... because there wouldn't be an "us"
anymore, would there? Because I wouldn't be able to forgive him... or would I?
As I stared at the water hitting the window, I realized it had been so long since I had
seen rain like this... the last time had been in Toronto, before my whole life turned
upside down, before I fell in love, before everything.
"I guess it was bound to happen anyway..." I affirmed softly, more to myself than for
Michael to hear.
My words seemed to hang in the air between us.
"What did you say?" His question was so abrupt that I had to avert my gaze to focus on
him.
"It's not the first time it's happened to me. It's like I'm incapable of making men love
me... My father didn't, neither did my first boyfriend, Dan. He cheated on me with my
best friend, and now the story repeats itself... Now I wonder if that's why I've been
running away from everything that happened with Nick. A part of me knew this was
bound to happen, and I wanted to protect myself from this pain..."
Suddenly, Michael approached the bed, took the cup from my hands, and before I
could stop him, he kissed me forcefully, pinning me to the cushions I was leaning on.
I blinked several times, completely bewildered, until he pulled away, staring at me with
anger, with anger and something more.
"You're an idiot if you think you don't deserve someone to love you, you're an idiot if
you think you're to blame for anything bad that has happened to you in life..." He
stroked my hair. "I haven't done a good job with you, Noah, not at any moment..."
And just like that, he placed his mouth on mine again, and I felt so lost that I let him. My
mind seemed to disconnect from my body, which was what I had wanted to do ever
since I got into that taxi. Suddenly, Michael's hands were everywhere, and perhaps out
of reflex, mine started moving with his.
Her touch was different, her kisses were different, and I couldn't say whether I liked
them or not because I was no longer in that place. I didn't know what was happening
because my heart and mind were on the ground, beneath the bed, in darkness, waiting
for someone to come back with a light to pull me out of that deep pit.
When I woke up around five in the morning, my brain seemed to return from wherever
it had been, starting to function and making me realize what I had just done. It felt like
someone hit me with a sledgehammer right in the center of my chest, such a strong
blow, such a precise blow that I had to crawl out of bed to reach the bathroom and
vomit.
I felt sick, really sick, as if a virus were inside my body, consuming all the remaining life
that seemed to be left within me. I looked at my body: I was still wearing the white shirt,
but my underwear was gone. Fragments of what had happened with him in that room
started replaying in my head, and I couldn't do anything to stop them. His hands, his
mouth, his naked body against mine...
"Oh my God!"
I had another heave and had to get down on my knees in front of the toilet to continue
vomiting for what felt like an eternity. Then I rested my cheek on the edge of the sink
and started crying again. I didn't even know how many tears I had shed in the past
hours, or even understand how I still had more. Suddenly, I had a strong desire to burn
that shirt, to take a shower with boiling water and scrub my body with the roughest
sponge I could find... I longed with all my might to cleanse myself inside and out, and
then curl up in bed and wait for time to pass so I could eventually get up.
As if I were some kind of programmed robot, I began gathering my things, all without
making a sound. I didn't want to put on the party dress, but I also didn't want to leave
that room almost naked. In the end, I opted for one of Michael's hoodies that was
hanging on a chair. Later, I would burn that cursed dress and also that hoodie... I would
throw into the fire everything I had worn that night, burn all the memories and all the
things he had touched, because God, I had let him touch me, I had let him do even
more than that...
I had to turn on my phone to call another taxi, and as I did, multiple missed call
notifications started appearing on the phone's home screen. Most of them were from
Nicholas, and I noticed that he had been calling me every five minutes for the past six
hours... Jenna had also called, and my mother.
I squinted my eyes and ignored each and every one of them. I called the taxi and left
Michael's apartment without making a sound.
It was raining heavily, and it didn't take long for me to get drenched. But since I felt
dirty, I let the water cleanse me, and that made me feel better. For a few minutes, I
tried to forget everything and just focus on the sound of raindrops hitting my face.
The honk of the taxi's horn woke me from my stupor, and I hurried to get into the back
seat. If it were up to me, I would have boarded a plane right at that moment and flown
to Canada, just like that, without a second thought, to be in a place where neither the
memories nor my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends were present. But before that, I had to stop
by the apartment.
I arrived quickly - after all, Michael also lived on campus - and as I did, when I saw who
was sitting on the steps at the entrance, I almost fainted.
No... I couldn't see him... damn it, I needed to get out of there.
But Nicholas had already seen me, and before I could tell the taxi driver to turn around
and leave the way we had come, Nick's hands had already opened the taxi door and
pulled me out of the car.
"Noah, please, I've been searching for you all night like crazy. I thought something had
happened to you, I thought..." He looked so desperate, and I was so shattered that for
a moment, I almost let him hug me. I almost let myself be wrapped in his arms and
almost begged him to take me away from there, anywhere, just so I wouldn't have to
feel the way I felt in that moment. But then the reasons for my state came back to my
mind with full force and hit me again, this time harder because now he was right in front
of me. I had him there with me, and I could see, not just think, what I had just lost.
I shook myself so hard and so fast that for a few seconds, Nicholas couldn't even catch
me. But he did: he caught me when I was near the entrance of the residence and took
my face in his hands to make me look into his eyes.
"Listen to me, Noah, please, you have to listen to me."
He looked so desperate... The rain had subsided by now, but both of us were still wet
and freezing cold.
"Noah, it was all a stupid misunderstanding. I've been searching for you everywhere
because I knew what you were thinking, and it was killing me inside just to think that
you believed I had cheated on you..."
I blinked several times, not understanding what he was telling me.
"I've been a jerk, okay? I have been, I've been a complete idiot for leaving you alone
tonight with our parents, and yes, you can hate me because I kissed Sophia, but..."
His words managed to reach my soul, and then I wanted to break free from his grip. He
had just admitted in front of me that it was true, he had kissed her, he was cheating on
me with her.
"Let me go!" I yelled, but it only made him hold onto me even tighter.
"Damn it, Noah, I would never cheat on you!"
He shook me forcefully, and my eyes lifted from the muddy, wet ground to pay him
some attention.
"It was just a stupid kiss, a stupid kiss that I gave her out of anger, because I was mad
at you. And yes, I was an asshole for taking advantage of your jealousy towards
Sophia to get back at you. But deep down, I don't want to get back at you, Noah. I let
myself be carried away by the Nicholas of years ago, the person you helped me leave
behind, and I swear to God I will never let him resurface again. It was the worst
mistake I've ever made in my life. And you know why? Because now that I've kissed
another woman again, I've realized that I'm so damn in love with you that I will never be
able to kiss someone else and feel the same way I feel when I kiss you. If I'm not with
you, I feel nothing. If I'm not with you, I don't even think I have a soul..."
My mind started to process what he was telling me, and at the same time, a terrible
fear began to creep in where the pain had been.
"Have you been sleeping with her?" I asked with an unusually hoarse voice.
Nicholas leaned his head back and let the water run down his cheeks for a moment.
"I hate that you're asking me that, but I'll be clear with you because I understand that
everything has gotten so tangled up and so fast that you deserve this clarification." He
looked at me intently, as if emphasizing the sincerity of his words. "Never, I insist, never
have I cheated on you with anyone. It never crossed my mind, and it never will, Noah."
I felt an immense relief that was like a balm to every damaged corner of my mind and
heart.
"But then... Briar told me..." I began to say.
"Noah, my history with Briar was a mess, and yes, I should have told you, but we were
in such a bad place, our relationship was on the brink, and I didn't want to make things
worse by telling you that I got your roommate pregnant when we were kids, and even
worse, that my father forced her to have an abortion to avoid scandal. I was scared that
you wouldn't understand. It all happened so fast, and it slipped out of my control, and
Briar ended up paying the price..."
Had Nicholas' father been the one who forced her to have an abortion? Briar had
hinted at it.
"You're not sleeping with her?"
Nicholas cursed and looked at me again, this time with a firm gaze.
"I'm not sleeping with anyone except you, Noah, but I see that I haven't earned your
trust yet, and I understand that, truly. But we can fix it, we can overcome this together."
My head started spinning... Was it all a lie? Was Nicholas not cheating on me...?
I felt such relief that I didn't realize tears had started rolling down my face again until
Nicholas pulled me into his chest and hugged me tightly.
It took me a moment to return the embrace because my brain had to switch from hating
the love of my life to falling madly in love with him all over again in less than a second.
"What am I going to do with you, Noah?" he asked me rhetorically while his hand
caressed my wet hair and back.
I was so frozen and dazed that when Nick asked me to enter the apartment, I simply
nodded and let him lead me.
As we walked in and saw that the living room was still in the same state as when I left it
at least ten hours ago, panic started growing inside me. There were glasses
everywhere from when the girls came to help me, clothes scattered on the sofas,
shoes on the floor, and makeup as well... It was such a mess that I separated from
Nick and started compulsively organizing.
"Noah, what are you doing?"
"I just need to fix this... I need to clean it... I need..." Nick's hands forced me to stop and
turned me towards him.
"Noah, calm down, okay?" His eyes ran over me from head to toe, and suddenly I felt
so scared, so afraid that he would find out what I had done that I felt nauseous again.
"You're trembling, and I'm freezing too. Let's take a hot shower and get into bed,
alright? We can keep talking about this tomorrow..."
I started shaking my head; guilt was eating me up from the inside. More than anything
in the world, I wanted to take off those clothes and get under the water, but I couldn't
do it in front of Nicholas, I couldn't even look him in the face.
He had just confessed to me that he hadn't cheated on me with anyone, that it had
never crossed his mind; he had kissed Sophia, yes, but what did a kiss mean after I
believed he was sleeping with her? Nothing.
"Nicholas, I..."
His eyes examined me with concern, and I realized the exact moment when he
became aware of the state I was in and what I was wearing.
"Where have you been all this time, Noah?" He didn't seem to be reproaching me
anything; he was simply observing me with curiosity. "Jenna has been calling you just
like I have, and I even spoke with your friend from college... Where were you?"
I started shaking my head and closed my eyes tightly, as if that could save me from
what was about to happen.
"I... I..." I couldn't even utter a complete sentence.
And before Nicholas could draw his own conclusions, my phone, which I had in my
hands, started ringing with that ridiculous melody that only made the incredibly surreal
situation even more intense.
Nicholas took the phone from my hands to check who was calling.
"Why is he calling you?" His voice sounded so icy that I had to look up to observe him.
God, he was so tense that I unconsciously took a step back.
"Why is he calling, Noah?"
"Nicholas, I..."
And a single glance was enough for him to understand what had happened.
"Tell me that what I'm thinking isn't true." His voice sounded strangled by fear, and I
would have given anything, anything, to disappear from that place, to disappear from
the world, to simply cease to exist. "Please, tell me that the clothes you're wearing are
not his, tell me that the images passing through my mind are just my imagination... tell
me, Noah!" His scream and his hands gripping my arms tightly snapped me out of my
state of paralysis, and I simply stared at him as the tears fell, fell, and fell until they
reached the ground, the place where I should be at that moment, the place where my
demons, my mistrust, and all my problems had led me.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, my voice so soft that I wasn't even aware if he heard me.
However, he did, because in that moment, he let go of me as if my skin was burning
him, as if suddenly he couldn't bear to touch me anymore...
"No... you haven't, it's a lie." He began pacing around the room, his hands clutching his
head, desperately tugging at his dark hair, until he turned back to me and approached,
taking my face in his hands.
"Please, please, Noah, don't punish me for this. I've already apologized, don't play with
my sanity, just tell me it's a lie, just tell me... please." His voice broke on the last word,
and that was enough for me to know that we had just shattered ourselves. If I thought
my pain had been enough to make my heart stop beating before, now, seeing his pain,
seeing what I had done to him, I understood that it was even worse: while it's
excruciating to have your heart broken, it's infinitely more painful to break the heart of
the person you love with all your soul.
"Nicholas... I've been a fool... I thought... I thought... I'm sorry, Nick, I'm sorry," I said,
my voice choked with tears, taking his face in my hands.
But he wouldn't let me. His whole body tensed, and grabbing my wrists, he prevented
my touch. He locked his eyes onto mine.
"Did you sleep with him?" His voice sounded so wounded that I was grateful the tears
blurred my vision, momentarily preventing me from seeing his devastated expression.
"Answer me, damn it!"
His words were like knives plunging into my stomach, and I felt disgusted with myself...
So much so that I thought I was going to vomit again, right there. Never in my life had I
felt so dirty... He saw it, he saw it on my face. I wasn't the same anymore, and I never
would be.
Without saying a word, he turned his back and left my apartment.
I stood there for a few seconds, looking at the emptiness that surrounded me, and that
brief lapse of time was enough to decide that I couldn't lose him, I couldn't let it end
there because what happened with Michael had been a huge mistake, a mistake that
Nicholas would forgive, he had to, because he loved me and I loved him. I refused to
accept that our relationship would end after finding out that everything I had believed
was a lie, after knowing that he loved me... I had to make him see that it was just a
mistake, that we could overcome it. I realized that it was going to be the toughest battle
of my life, but I was going to win it, I had to win it.
I ran out of the apartment and hurried down the stairs as fast as I could. When I
reached outside, I saw him walking away down the street, and I shouted his name.
Nicholas stopped and turned to look at me. I quickly caught up with him, but as I did, I
had to stop a meter away. The Nicholas standing before me wasn't the Nicholas I
knew: he was broken, I had broken him, and the reality of that fact shattered me
completely.
The rain fell on us, soaking us, chilling us, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered
anymore. I knew everything was about to change, I knew my world was about to
crumble.
"There's no turning back now, I can't even look at you anymore..."
Desolate tears streamed down his face. How could I have done this to him? His words
pierced my soul like stabbing knives, tearing me apart.
"I don't even know what to say," I admitted, trying to control myself, trying to control the
panic that threatened to engulf me. I couldn't let it... I wouldn't, right?
His eyes bore into mine with hatred, with contempt, a gaze I never thought he could
direct at me.
"We're done," he whispered with a heart-wrenching yet resolute voice.
And with those two words, my world plunged into a deep, dark, and lonely abyss... a
prison specifically designed for me. But I deserved it, this time I deserved it.

EPILOGUE

... Two weeks later

The noise of the machines, and that intense unpleasant smell that accompanies all
hospitals, forced me to get up and go to the waiting room. I had never liked these
spaces, and if it were up to me, I would have been anywhere but there.
I sat down in the chair and wrapped my knees with my hands. That position had been
my favorite in the past few days, and just like when I hid under the blankets, I closed
my eyes and let my mind wander to places I would have preferred never to return. I
could still hear Jenna's voice on the other end of the line, demanding answers I wasn't
prepared to give, and then William's voice, furious, warning me that his son had been
arrested for assault.
I hadn't taken long to arrive at the scene, and I think it would take years to erase that
image of Nicholas from my mind. The ambulance had taken Michael, who had bruises
all over his face and body. Nicholas had broken two of his ribs. I could still see how the
police officers took him away in the patrol car and how the blood dripped from his
knuckles and split lip. Michael had defended himself, that was clear, but it hadn't been
enough to face a completely unhinged Nick. I had pushed him to that point again, it
was my fault once more.
I remember Jenna appearing behind me, and right at that moment, my legs gave way.
She and Lion caught me before I collapsed, drove me to their house, and without
asking any questions, took care of me throughout the night. Lion went to the police
station and called William, while Jenna hugged me in bed as I let out all the remaining
tears within me. After that night, I hadn't cried again because I was so broken that
nothing, not even tears, could soothe my pain.
And there I was, visiting the man who had promised to help me and yet was
responsible for me being completely shattered.
I sighed at the same time my phone rang and vibrated on the plastic chair where I had
placed it.
It was Will.
"He's just been released, Noah," he announced, and I immediately stood up. "I had to
use every single one of my contacts, but it seems O'Neil has dropped the charges... I
guess in the end, you were right, and talking to him had an effect."
I felt a great relief wash over me.
"He's free?" I asked, hardly able to believe it.
William took a deep breath on the other end of the line, and I could almost imagine
him, with a tired and concerned face, but ultimately relieved that his son wouldn't end
up in jail because of his stepdaughter.
"Yes, barely."
I nodded, bringing my hand to my mouth, and sat down on the hospital chair. The call
ended, and my eyes focused on the wall in front of me.
I would never have forgiven myself if Nicholas had ended up in jail because of me. If it
was already a struggle for me to get up in the mornings and go to the hospital, I
wouldn't have been able to bear another burden of guilt on my shoulders.
Jenna appeared down the hallway, holding two coffees in her hands and a bag.
"I brought you something to eat, and I won't tolerate your refusals anymore, do you
hear me?" she said. "You're going to eat, and you're going to do it now."
Without paying much attention, I took the coffee from her hands and took a sip. The
warm liquid failed to warm my body; I always seemed to be cold now, frozen both
inside and out. No matter how many blankets I wrapped around myself, something was
missing, something essential.
"Nick is free," I whispered.
Jenna's eyes widened in surprise, and she let out a deep sigh, just like I had done
upon hearing the news.
"Damn... thank goodness!" she exclaimed.
I nodded, once again averting my gaze.
"Noah..." Jenna began with that encouraging tone, but I didn't want to hear her, I didn't
want anyone to talk to me or try to cheer me up. Right now, I just wanted to sink into
my misery and isolate myself. "Things are going to get better, okay? Michael is fine,
recovering without any issues, and now Nick has avoided jail. Knowing William, he
won't even have a criminal record. Please, put a smile on your face."
My eyes shifted to the hand that held her coffee. A beautiful silver ring with a small
white diamond adorned her ring finger. I had to feel guilty about that too because on
the night everything went to hell, Lion had proposed to Jenna, and she had to leave
everything behind to come and find me and face what had happened.
Even though I was completely absent, I couldn't ignore the sparkle that seemed to hide
behind her eyes when she looked at Lion or glanced at her engagement ring. I was
genuinely happy for her, truly I was, but her happiness intensified the pain in my heart.
I would never have that, not after everything that had happened. Now, seeing what I
had lost, I was painfully aware of how foolish I had been. My fear of being hurt had
prevented me from being truly loved because Nick had loved me with all his soul, and I
had pushed him away time and time again until I finally dragged him into the darkness
where I was practically always immersed.
That was what hurt the most because I was accustomed to pain. Even though I feared
it and tried to escape it as best as I could, when I felt it, I could bear it. What I found
unbearable was dealing with his pain.
All the times he had told me he loved me, all the times we had argued over silly things,
all the stolen kisses, those caresses, that love he had managed to feel solely for me...
It had all ended up becoming his own nightmare.
That afternoon, Jenna took me home. I hadn't seen Briar since the night of the gala,
and her things were no longer there when I arrived at the apartment. "Better this way," I
told myself. Briar was part of Nick's past that I should have never known about
because it had nothing to do with me. Now I understood how the past should stay
there, in the past, because if we let it come back, it was capable of consuming our
present.
I took off my shoes while Jenna busied herself in the kitchen, insisting that I eat
something. I couldn't eat anything; the knot in my stomach was so tight that it left no
room for anything else. I got into bed, and as I rested my head on the pillow, I heard
the sound of crumpling paper. I picked it up, and with a pang of pain in my chest, I saw
that it was the letter Nick had written to me.
With trembling fingers, I opened it and read his words again.
"I'll give you more time; if that's what you need, if that's what I have to do for you to
realize that I love you and only you, then that's what I'll do. I don't know what else to do
to make you believe me, to make you see that I want to take care of you and protect
you forever. I'm not going anywhere, Noah, my life and my future are with you, my
happiness depends solely on you. Stop being afraid: I will always be your light in the
darkness, my love."
I closed my eyes tightly.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"My life and my future are with you."
"My happiness depends solely on you..."
I pressed the letter against my heart, holding it tightly.
"I will always be your light in the darkness."
I hugged myself, knowing that those words meant nothing anymore. Nicholas had
made it clear, he didn't want to see me ever again. He had refused my visits to the jail,
ignored my phone calls.

To him, I no longer existed.