Kailash & Mahamuni

Scene 1: Interaction between MAHAMUNI AND KAILASH

INT. KAILASH WITHIN THE WOMB
NARRATOR:
The hero of our drama is still in the womb, but eternally his name has
always been KAILASH. So, let's see what he has to say.

MAHAMUNI (looking at KAILASH in the womb) Well, it'll take some time to
figure out where are his hands, where are his legs, where is his head. Let
me apply some mystic siddhi and find out.

MAHAMUNI (speaking to KAILASH, while waving his right hand as a gesture of

'Hi') KAILASH! KAILASH!

KAILASH (speaking from within the womb, with a miserable tone) Yes MAHAMUNI

MAHAMUNI (with pitiful expression) Oh KAILASH! you sound so miserable! It

seems that there is something wrong, it seems that you're having a lot of
trouble. What's wrong?

KAILASH (sad and painful tone) All germs are biting me. I cannot move my
hands. I cannot move my legs.

MAHAMUNI Oh! germs are biting you; you cannot move your hands and legs. I'm
sure you must be waiting to come out of this womb and take your birth.
KAILASH, once you take your birth, what is going to be your new birth
resolution?

KAILASH (sincerely)I'm just going to chant

hirer nama hare nama harer namaiva kevalam I'm just going to worship Lord
Krishna.

MAHAMUNI (joyful, speaking to audience) Ah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Did you hear this?
This is exactly like the teachings of Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur. He said
janani-jathare, chilamajakhona
when the soul is in the womb, around sixth or seventh month he regains his
consciousness, and he prays to Krishna - "Krishna! Let me come out, I'll
worship you, please let me come out". And here this wonderful soul is
repeating those words. I'm sure when he comes out, he's definitely going to
be a great devotee.

Scene 2: MAHAMUNI visits KAILASH at school EXT. KAILASH 'S SCHOOL

MAHAMUNI (as a narrator to audience) So, with lot of expectations, I'm going
to visit him. It seems that he has now started going to nursery, and let’s
see –

MAHAMUNI (upon seeing KAILASH) Oh KAILASH, how are you KAILASH? It seems
that you must have learnt something in your school. Can you please tell me?
KAILASH I’m learning ABCD.

MAHAMUNI Oh! Ho! Ho! Ho! Can you sing something nice devotional to me?
KAILASH (sings ABCDEFG... in the classic nursery tone)
ABCDEFGHIJKLMOP... LMNOPQRST

MAHAMUNI (interrupts KAILASH) Very good, very good, very good! So, KAILASH
I'm going to teach you something nice devotional, which'll remind you of
your new birth resolution, Okay? So just repeat after me. H A R E Hare!!!
KAILASH (shouts) NO!!! My teacher has told me HIJKLMNOP.

MAHAMUNI OK! OK! OK! Okay, let me tell you something else. Very simple,
okay! KR I S H N A Krishna!!!
KAILASH (shouts) NO!!! My teacher has told me KLMNOP.

MAHAMUNI OK! Okay, let me make it simpler! R A M A Rama!!!

KAILASH (shouts) NO!!! My teacher has told me RSTUVWXYZ.

MAHAMUNI (becomes sad) KAILASH! KAILASH! KAILASH! (With urgency) You has
said that you only want to chant the names of Krishna. Why don't you chant
Hare Krishna?
KAILASH (loudly exclaims) I’m so small! How can I chant Hare Krishna?

MAHAMUNI But you've so much of time, whole day you're at home. Only for
few hours you go to school. Why can't you chant Hare Krishna, whole day is
free?
KAILASH Now let me play with my toys and let me watch cartoons.

MAHAMUNI If just keep watching cartoons, when will you chant?

KAILASH, you come afterwards. When I grow up, I'll surely chant Hare
Krishna.

MAHAMUNI (talking to self) OK! I think the Mahabharata Vaishnava is

promising that he'll chant Hare Krishna later. Let me come after sometime.

Scene 3: MAHAMUNI again comes to meet KAILASH again.

INT. KAILASH STUDYING ON CHAIR.

MAHAMUNI (speaking to audience, narrating) So, it has been five years since
KAILASH last promised that he is going to chant. Let me go and find out.

MAHAMUNI (speaking to KAILASH) KAILASH! KAILASH!

KAILASH Oh Muniji, you've come back.

MAHAMUNI Of course I've come back. I came to remind you of your new birth
resolution. HK!!! Hare Krishna!!!
KAILASH But Muniji, I know only about HW.
MAHAMUNI What is HW?
KAILASH Home Work!!!

MAHAMUNI But after Home Work, you can definitely chant, right? KAILASH NO!
But then I want to play cricket.
MAHAMUNI, you want to play cricket? or You want to become a devotee? Whom
you want to become?
KAILASH, I want to become like Sachin Tendulkar

MAHAMUNI (regretfully) Sach...!!! Sach..Sacinandan has come to deliver

the whole world with his holy name. Why you want to take up to Sachin
Tendulkar?

KAILASH Arey! But Sachin Tendulkar also delivers...

MAHAMUNI What does he deliver?
KAILASH He also delivers, the ball outside the stadium!
MAHAMUNI But KAILASH , you need to chant and you need to find out
some time andfix you mind on the holy name HareKrishna.
KAILASH But I'm very small now, If I just...I've got homework, assignments,
projects, and also, I need to play cricket. If I don't play cricket, what
will be the future of Indian cricket?

MAHAMUNI Don’t worry about... just focus enchanting Hare Krishna, that's
what is important
KAILASH Wait! Wait! Wait! I know you're a Muni, so you bless people, so
please bless me to become a cricket sta

MAHAMUNI (speaking to audience) Where was that great little Dhruva who
wanted to be an immortal polestar and KAILASH wants to be a mortal cricket
star. I think I've to come after sometime.

Scene 4: MAHAMUNI meets KAILASH on Facebook

INT. KAILASH ON COMPUTER BUSY CHATTING

MAHAMUNI (speaking to audience) KAILASH keeps postponing, the process of

devotional service, and now he has grown up to become an active college star. He
whole day sits on his Facebook. So let me gonad find out if he is eager to
chant.

MAHAMUNI (speaking to KAILASH) KAILASH! KAILASH! KAILASH! I’ve come.

KAILASH Where are you? I don't see you on the screen.

MAHAMUNI Arey. KAILASH, I'm here face-to-face.

KAILASH, I don’t. I don't speak face-to-face; I only speak on Facebook.

Only Facebook!
MAHAMUNI KAILASH! This is all gossip and prajalpa. I came to remind you to
chant.

KAILASH Oh!!! I don't chant, I only chat. Only chatting! Gmail Chat!
Hotmail Chat! Messenger Chat! Only chatting, okay! If you want to talk with
me, then come on the chat. Add me as friend, Mahamuni!

MAHAMUNI My God! What is this? Is this disturbing your mind? There are so many
windows here.

KAILASH No! No! No! I can, I've this special

siddhi. At one time I can chat with ten people. You can talk with only one
person, I can talk with ten people, okay! This is a mystic siddhi! computer
siddhi!

MAHAMUNI KAILASH! You are wasting your time, the great Sacinandan Lord Gauranga
has come to share with you the holy name. I've come as a representative to
share the treasure of holy name.
KAILASH What sharing you are talking about? Here I'm sharing everything on my
Facebook. My room, my bathroom, my toilet, my food, everything! Everything I'm
sharing, okay! What sharing?
MAHAMUNI KAILASH! But when will you chant?
KAILASH Huh!!! I'll chant! I'll chant!
MAHAMUNI Really? KAILASH Yes, when the internet server goes down that time
I'll chant, okay!
MAHAMUNI KAILASH, you're not realizing this whole material world is a dirty
network and it is going down every moment.
KAILASH (typing and posting on Facebook the statement that
MAHAMUNI just said) I shared it on Facebook. Yes! Ten dislikes, see ten
dislikes! Only one like, may be some Hare Krishna. yeah, he is a Hare
Krishna fellow! KAILASH After sometime, after sometime, sure! sure! sure!
I’ll chant, okay? Logging out now! Okay! You also Logout, okay! Bye!
MAHAMUNI KAILASH! KAILASH! KAILASH! Please...

Scene 5: KAILASH is now a father of a child, a successful man and MAHAMUNI

comes to meet him.
INT. KAILASH IS HOLDING HIS SON ON HIS SHOULDER ANDSHOWING HIM VARIOUS THINGS
BY POINTING TO IT.
MAHAMUNI ARRIVES AT THE SPOT

MAHAMUNI (narrating to audience) Year after year after year, getting engrossed
in the network of material illusory energy. KAILASH now has grown up to be
a successful corporate person. He doesn't have to worry about having enough
money and pocket money. He has lot of money with him. Let me go and find out.
MAHAMUNI (speaking to KAILASH) KAILASH! you've become such a wonderful
grownup man. Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful! I'm sure you must be finding
now lot time in life.
KAILASH What time? I'm so busy. I've to be7o'clock at the desk. And I'm busy
till twelve.
MAHAMUNI Wonderful! So, after twelve you’re free. You've whole day free to
chant. KAILASH Twelve in the midnight I become free, okay!!! And next at
seven I ‘veto be at office; I don't have time to chant! okay! And please,
please, please, don't disturb me, okay!
MAHAMUNI KAILASH! I'm sure at least on the weekends you must be finding time
to chant. KAILASH Now, today is the weekend, and see I’m just taking care
of my child.
MAHAMUNI Oh, he looks just like you.

KAILASH Yeah, when I was small, I used to look just like this.
MAHAMUNI So, it’s wonderful, you can take care of your children and you can chant.
And so many great saints have been doing their housework and then you know...

KAILASH (interrupts
MAHAMUNI) No! No! No! When I've to take care of them, they keep on singing and
I’ve to listen to their singing. You also listen.

KAILASH ‘S SON Lakhi ki Kathi. Kathi pe ghoda..ghode ke doom pe do mara

hathoda..dauda dauda dauda dauda doom daba kedauda..

KAILASH (brings down his son and sends him away)okay!!!

KAILASH (speaking to MAHAMUNI )See! See how necterean? It must be more

necterean than the holy name!And When I hear that
Lakdi ki kathi...
I just feel... I just feel that I should’ve thousands of ears to hear this. And
I just keep on hearing.
Lakhi ki kathi. Kathi pe ghoda..ghode ke doom pe do mara hathoda..dauda
dauda dauda dauda doom daba kedauda..Wah! Wah! Wah!

MAHAMUNI (speaking to audience)For his children, he is becoming ahorse. and

for the office boss he has become an ass.. KAILASH And Muniji Maharaj, one
important thing, my kaamwali bai has left me!

MAHAMUNI Why are you telling me?

KAILASH So, then there is nobody to take care of my child! And so, all
the weekends I just keep on doing this babysitting! And because Mrs.
KAILASH has to go for all Kitty parties and everything, So I don’t have
time at all. I'll chant but...

MAHAMUNI You'll chant? KAILASH Yes, I'll chant!

MAHAMUNI When?

KAILASH When I get a kaamwali bai, then I’ll chant! I'll get time. So, you
are such a great muni, you are vancha kalpataru, why don't you provide a
kaamwali bai for our house.

MAHAMUNI KAILASH, I think. I think this is still not the right time for you.
KAILASH After sometime, after sometime I’ll be chanting.

MAHAMUNI (speaking to himself) How to teach him? How to tell him? How to
convince about the urgency of this material nature?

Scene 6: MAHAMUNI comes to meet old and sick KAILASH

INT. KAILASH COUGHING,
MAHAMUNI ARRIVES

MAHAMUNI (background narration) I think it has been many many years now. Let
me go and find out what’s happening?

MAHAMUNI (speaking to KAILASH) Are you all, right?

KAILASH No, I'm not all right. (Gently rubbing right hand palm on back of
the neck) Spondylitis! (Touching thigh with right hand palm close to right
knee) Arthritis! (Resting right hand palm on waist on backside)
Diabetes! Hypertension! (Slouching a bit in position and touching the belly)
Heart! Lungs! Kidney! Liver! Everything is failing manini Maharaj!
Everything is failing!

MAHAMUNI So, whole day you are at home?

KAILASH No, I don't have free time. Whole day I'm at the hospital. One
hospital to other hospital. Ultrasound! X-Ray! MRIs! CT Scan! Everyday I've
to give blood for investigations how can I chant?

MAHAMUNI, do you feel like taking shelter? of GOD? when you are going
through all these troubles? KAILASH No! No! But I'm going to chant.

MAHAMUNI You'll chant?

KAILASH I'm going to chant.
MAHAMUNI When?

KAILASH When I get a new body, I'm going to chant. I'll start chanting,
when I'm in my mother's womb itself, okay? I’m going to chant.

MAHAMUNI See you're shaking so much out of Parkinson’s. If you would've

taken to the process of holy name at right age you would've been shaking in
ecstasy!
KAILASH But when I'm in my mother's womb, next life I promise, I'll chant!
Muniji Maharaj I'll chant.

MAHAMUNI (talking to self) Taking such a risk of accepting another body,

KAILASH! KAILASH! KAILASH! I'll not leave you KAILASH. I’ll keep chasing
you.

Scene 7: MAHAMUNI visits KAILASH again after long time. KAILASH is DEAD.
MAHAMUNI It has again been a lot of time. Infeed to visit KAILASH and find
out what's going on?

MAHAMUNI MEETS KAILASH ‘S SON.

MAHAMUNI Uh... Excuse me, KAILASH used to...

KAILASH ‘S SON Yes manini.

MAHAMUNI KAILASH used to stay here.

KAILASH ‘S SON (begins weeping utterly) hash hush-hush...

MAHAMUNI What’s wrong?

KAILASH ‘S SON (weeps even more loudly) ash...

MAHAMUNI What happened?

KAILASH ‘S SON KAILASH, khallas

MAHAMUNI (shockingly)khallas
!!!

KAILASH ‘S SON (pointing to KAILASH 's wall-hanging photo behind MAHAMUNI)

You see that photo there, with the garland?

MAHAMUNI Yes! Yes! Same KAILASH.

KAILASH ‘S SON KAILASH has gone to Kailash. (Moves out of the scene after saying
this)

MAHAMUNI (talking to self, with lamentation) Psst! Psst! Psst! One more soul
has left his body without perfecting his life. Such a miserable thing! (a
dog begins barking all of a sudden alerting MAHAMUNI)
DOG (the dog approaches, coming closer to
MAHAMUNI while barking) Bow! Bow! Bow!

MAHAMUNI Hey, who are you?

DOG Muniji Maharaj, I’m KAILASH.

MAHAMUNI (shocked to hear and see KAILASH like this as a dog) KAILASH!!!

DOG Bow!! Bow!! yeah KAILASH! Bow!!Bow!! Bow!!

MAHAMUNI Just look at yourself.

DOG I'm comfortable, I'm comfortable!

MAHAMUNI Swami Prabhu pada used to say -"Please worship GOD, otherwise
you’ll become a DOG". You’ve actually become a dog.

DOG Bow!! Bow!! But I'm fine! Bow!!Bow!! Bow!! Bow!!

MAHAMUNI You're fine?

DOG Bow!! Bow!! Yeah, I'm fine!

MAHAMUNI You are not fine, KAILASH! KAILASH with my powers, even in (MORE)

MAHAMUNI (CONT'D)dog's body I'll give you power to chant the holy names of
Krishna.

DOG No! No! No! Bow!! Bow!! I'm very busy! Bow!! Bow!! Bow!! Very busy!
Very busy!

MAHAMUNI Busy as a dog?

DOG Yes! Yes! Very busy! Busy as a dog!

MAHAMUNI What do you do?

DOG Because property, my children are not taking care properly, so I keep
on moving around twenty times, thirty times in the whole property and protect my
property. Bow!!Bow!!, Bow!! Bow!!, Bow!! Bow!!

MAHAMUNI You've to chant KAILASH. I'll give the power. In gaudy Vaishnava
history dogs have gone back to godhead. I can actually tell you.

DOG What?

MAHAMUNI How to chant the holy names even in this dog's body?

DOG Bow!! Bow!! Tell me!

MAHAMUNI Hare Krishana...

DOG (interrupts

MAHAMUNI) Bow!! Bow!! I don't have time, next body, next body you come. (Goes
away from
MAHAMUNI)

MAHAMUNI (pitying on KAILASH 's condition) I think I've to feed

him Saipraasad. Bhakti Vinod Thakur would feed Krsna prasad to his dog Tiger.
Let me bring him some nice offered biscuits.

Scene 8: MAHAMUNI again meets KAILASH 's SON at his house

INT. KAILASH 'S HOUSE

MAHAMUNI Hare Krishna!

KAILASH ‘S SON Hare Krishna!

MAHAMUNI Where is that wonderful dog? Sweet dog you had?

KAILASH ‘S SON (begins weeping) Oh. that dog!!!

MAHAMUNI What happened? (This question makes KAILASH 's SON weep utterly)
What happened to the DOG?

KAILASH ‘S SON DOG. Khallas

MAHAMUNI DOG khallas!

KAILASH ‘S SON Yeah, he reminded me so much about my father! Father also

loved property, DOG also loved property, but now DOGkhallas(Pointing to
DOG's photo behind
MAHAMUNI) you see that photo below my father’s photo with the garland? DOG has
gone to Kailash!
MAHAMUNI (talking to self) Oh Ho Ho Ho, he must be somewhere! I don’t know!

SNAKE (while hissing, approaches

MAHAMUNI) Piss Piss, Piss Piss Piss Piss!

MAHAMUNI Who are you?

SNAKE Muniji, I’m KAILASH.

MAHAMUNI KAILASH! Oh. just look at yourself, what has happened.

You've become a snake!

SNAKE (hissing continues) Yeah, but I'm comfortable.

MAHAMUNI You're not comfortable, KAILASH!

SNAKE I'm fine.

MAHAMUNI KAILASH don’t worry. Even in the body of Snake, I'll give the power
to chant the holy names of Kesari’ll give you, you chant!

SNAKE No! No! No! I'm very busy!

MAHAMUNI Busy?

SNAKE Yeah! Yeah! busy, busy! Piss!

MAHAMUNI What do you do?

SNAKE Because I put so many golden coins in the property. And so many
people saw, when I was a dog, I saw them going, taking my golden pots. So
now as a Snake, I protect them. Possies! Piss!

MAHAMUNI KAILASH! You've degraded to a body of a snake, and have still not
learnt the lesson. I know how to teach you a lesson.
INT.

MAHAMUNI MEETS KAILASH ‘S SON AGAIN.

MAHAMUNI I actually wanted to tell you something important.

KAILASH ‘S SON Yeah, what is it?
MAHAMUNI Do you know what is happening in the field outside?
KAILASH ‘S SON Oh, my children play there.

MAHAMUNI Oh Ho! Do you know who's there along with the children?

KAILASH ‘S SON May be other children?

MAHAMUNI No, my dear friend, there is a poisonous snake!

KAILASH ‘S SON And you know what will happen if you don’t take care of the
snake?

KAILASH ‘S SON No minicar, what'll happen?

MAHAMUNI Your children will khallas

KAILASH ‘S SON khallas, no!

MAHAMUNI (pointing towards the wall with photos of KAILASH & the DOG) on
that wall, with their photo.

SNAKE Arey! Son, I’m KAILASH. I'm your father, taking care of the property.

KAILASH ‘S SON If my father Kailash would've been there, he would've killed

the snake immediately. In the name of my father I'll call villagers.
Villagers come let's find that snake...Oh here is the snake. kill this
snake in the name of my father.

SNAKE (moving towards

MAHAMUNI) Muniji Maharaj! Muniji Maharaj! Piss! Piss!

MAHAMUNI Yes, KAILASH!

SNAKE My life has become Piss!

MAHAMUNI At least now you take to the process of holy name?

SNAKE Hare Krishna! Passphrase Krishna! Piss!Krishna Krishna! Piss!Hare

Hare! Piss!Hare Ram! Piss!Hare Ram! Piss!Ram Ram! Piss!Hare Hare! Piss!

MAHAMUNI Please chant Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna! Krishna! Hare Hare!Hare
Ram!Hare Ram!Ram Ram!Hare Hare!

MAHAMUNI (speaking to audience)All of you are laughing andenjoying, But please

take to theprocess of chanting Hare Krishna asan emergency and remove this
"Piss"out of your life. Hare Krishna!

END OF SCRIPT