GENDER STUDIES- CA2

MARRIAGES ARE MADE- BY EUNICE DSOUZA

NISHKAA KULCHANDANI
22BA170
ROLL NUMBER-118
The poem ‘Marriages are Made’ by Eunice De Souza
My cousin Elena
is to be married
The formalities
have been completed:
her family history examined
for T.B. and madness
her father declared solvent
her eyes examined for squints
her teeth for cavities
her stools for the possible
non-Brahmin worm.
She’s not quite tall enough
and not quite full enough
(children will take care of that)
Her complexion it was decided
would compensate, being just about
the right shade
of rightness
to do justice to
Francisco X. Noronha Prabhu
good son of Mother Church.

ABOUT EUNICE DSOUZA

Born in Pune, Eunice de Souza (1940–2017) was a well-known Indian poet, literary critic, and
educator who lived most of her life in Mumbai. Having earned a Ph.D. in English literature from
the University of Mumbai, de Souza rose to prominence as a teacher at Mumbai's St. Xavier's
College. Her poetry, which deftly addressed gender dynamics, human relationships, and society
conventions, is the main focus of her literary legacy. Her poetry is perceptive and frequently
audacious. Famous poetry books like "A Necklace of Skulls" (2009), "Fix" (1979), and "Women
in Dutch Painting" (1988) highlight her unique voice, which is characterized by astute
observations and witty remarks. De Souza made contributions to literary criticism in addition to
her poetry, providing insightful analyses of the writings of other authors. Her viewpoint, which
addresses issues of gender inequality and societal expectations on women, is frequently regarded
as feminist. As evidence of her dedication to advancing the literary community, de Souza
oversaw the editing of "The Indian P.E.N.," a prominent literary journal in India, in addition to
her artistic endeavors. Her contributions, which offer a distinctive viewpoint on social and
cultural issues, have had a lasting influence on Indian literature. After her death in 2017, Eunice
de Souza left behind a body of significant and thought-provoking works.
SUMMARY

The poet focuses on her cousin Elena's impending marriage in India to begin the poem. The
Indian customary formalities have been successfully navigated by the marriage arrangements.
The girl and her family are examined closely during these procedures to make sure they fulfill
specific requirements.

Examining the family's medical history for illnesses or insanity is one of the requirements for a
good fit because these things could have a bad effect on the union. The father must also have
sufficient income to pay for the ceremony and dowry. The girl is examined physically to
determine her general health, including the state of her teeth and eyes. Moral attributes are also
taken into account, with the expectation that she will demonstrate discipline akin to that of a
member of the righteous Brahmin caste.

Elena is accepted as a bride even though she does not match the bridegroom's family's
expectations for physical attractiveness. Despite the fact that her height and physique do not
meet their standards, they still agree to the arrangement because they think she is capable of
having perfect children.

Interestingly, Francisco X. Noronha Prabhu, the prospective groom, finds Elena's skin tone
acceptable, fulfilling his requirements for a perfect wife. Francisco is portrayed as the perfect
man who has never had to put up with any of Elena's demanding examinations. His virtues are
connected to his Christian devotion, which stands in sharp contrast to the bride's meticulous
scrutiny and expectations. This establishes the framework for a critical investigation of gender
norms, cultural expectations, and the disparate treatment of men and women in marriage-related
contexts.

CULTURAL BACKGROUND OF THE POEM

"Marriages Are Made" by Eunice de Souza delves into the cultural background of India,
specifically focusing on the intricacies of arranged marriages. The poem provides a cultural lens
through which readers can explore the deeply ingrained practice of arranged unions, shedding
light on the formalities, expectations, and societal norms that shape this institution in the Indian
context. The mention of examining the bride's family for diseases, financial soundness, and
adherence to Brahmin caste norms reflects the intersection of caste and class dynamics in the
marriage process. Additionally, the poem alludes to the persisting dowry system, showcasing the
economic aspects associated with marriages in India. The emphasis on the bride's skin color and
physical appearance underscores the influence of beauty standards prevalent in Indian society.
The introduction of the groom, Francisco X. Noronha Prabhu, as an ideal Christian man brings a
religious and cultural dimension into the narrative, highlighting the significance of religious
compatibility in marital alliances. Furthermore, the poem scrutinizes traditional gender roles and
expectations, revealing the unequal standards applied to men and women within the marriage
framework. Overall, "Marriages Are Made" serves as a cultural critique, offering a nuanced
exploration of the multifaceted cultural dimensions that shape the institution of marriage in India.

THEORETICAL ANALYSIS

The poem "Marriages are Made" by Eunice de Souza analyzes the complex dynamics within the
institution of marriage through a thorough theoretical and thematic investigation, mainly from a
feminist perspective. Theoretical analysis indicates that the poet takes a critical stance against
patriarchal structures and aims to undermine conventional gender roles that are imposed in
married relationships. De Souza promotes a more egalitarian and liberated perspective on
marriages by questioning these roles and emphasizing personal agency over social expectations.

A thematic analysis of the poem reveals several important components. The criticism of societal
expectations is one recurring theme. According to De Souza, marriage is a negotiated space
where people struggle with outside forces that frequently conflict with their personal preferences.
This theme is in line with feminist discourse, which questions the conventions that force people
to fit into predetermined roles in marriage. Through a critical examination of societal norms, de
Souza challenges readers to challenge and transcend the limitations imposed by conventional
wisdom.

The poem's central themes of compromise and negotiation highlight the fluidity of married
relationships. De Souza illustrates the continual process of mutual adaptation necessary for the
success of a long-term partnership with vivid language and nuanced imagery. This theme
questions the static and idealized representations of marriage that are common in societal
narratives, while also highlighting the dynamic changes that occur in relationships.

The poem gains additional depth from its examination of human vulnerability in the context of
marriage. De Souza expertly conveys the whole range of emotions that accompany committed
partnerships, from tender moments to times of dissatisfaction and surrender. By depicting people
as complex individuals navigating a range of emotions within the boundaries of a partnership,
this theme humanizes the experience of marriage.
De Souza's poem essentially functions as a vehicle for thematic investigation as well as
theoretical critique. The feminist viewpoint opposes patriarchal conventions and promotes
marital liberation and personal autonomy. In addition, the theme analysis highlights the poet's
astute observations regarding cultural norms, the need for compromise, and the innate fragility of
human relationships.

THEMES

The subject of marriage in Eunice de Souza's poetry develops as a careful analysis of the
complexities involved in the institution. De Souza's poetry challenges popular conceptions of
marriage by rejecting unduly idealistic assumptions. Rather, she reveals the complexity of
marriages by examining them from a realistic yet critical perspective.

De Souza's examination of marriage-related societal expectations is one of its main focuses. She
takes a hard stance against the outside expectations this institution places on couples, arguing
that they frequently make matters worse. De Souza contends that the conflict between cultural
expectations and personal preferences can put a strain on a marriage's very structure,
encouraging readers to consider how societal expectations affect their own relationships.

Negotiation and compromise appear frequently in de Souza's depiction of marriage. The poet
emphasizes how essential these components are to a married couple's longevity. She illustrates
the continual process of mutual adaptation needed to negotiate the difficulties inherent in a
committed relationship with vivid imagery and subtle language. This emphasis on compromise
challenges the idea of a static and idealized union and is a testament to the dynamic nature of
marriages.

De Souza's poetic works present a striking contrast between the refined, idealized portrayals of
matrimony and the somber, everyday experiences that individuals face. She disputes the popular
belief that marriages are predestined in a heavenly realm, contending that instead, decisions and
experiences made on a daily basis here on Earth shape unions. The portrayal of marriages gains
humanity and vulnerability from this shift from the ethereal to the earthly, as it shows marriages
as firmly anchored in the material world.

Eunice de Souza's approach to the subject of marriage is essentially distinguished by the way in
which she specifically addresses societal expectations, the significance of compromise, and the
disparity between idealized conceptions and actual circumstances. Her poetry presents a complex
and perceptive viewpoint that forces readers to reconsider how they perceive marriage in light of
non-traditional accounts.
EFFECT OF POEM ON LISTENER

In "Marriages," Eunice de Souza explores the intricate relationships and cultural expectations
that surround the institution of marriage, shedding light on both the overt and covert
consequences of these expectations. The poem offers a critical commentary on marriage-related
customs and roles within the framework of Indian culture.

One of the poem's effects is its exposure of the often restrictive and unfair nature of marriages,
especially for women. The poem's careful examination and interpretation highlight the ways in
which women's physical attributes are used as objects of desire and the significance that society
places on conforming to social norms. This portrayal prompts readers to think about the
consequences of intense scrutiny and how it might affect people's agency and sense of self.

The poem also highlights the pressures and expectations that society places on families regarding
arranged marriages by emphasizing how they adhere to specific norms and traditions. Because of
the scrutiny and adherence to social norms, people may feel pressured to fit in, which could
compromise their personal goals or leave them feeling hopeless. Consequently, marriage is
portrayed as a bargaining environment where personal choices frequently yield to societal norms.

Gender disparities in marital expectations are further highlighted by the contrast between
Francisco X. Noronha Prabhu, the idealized version of the bridegroom, and Elena, the bride, who
must endure drawn-out examinations. This comparison advances the conversation about gender
roles and expectations in society by bringing attention to the differences in expectations between
men and women.

All things considered, "Marriages" challenges readers to consider how social norms affect
unions, especially in societies where prearranged unions are common. By criticizing the
frequently dehumanizing scrutiny that people—women in particular—go through in the process
of meeting expectations, the poem provokes reflection on the effects of such societal norms.