Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Act One
Actors doubling in roles is terrific fun when it serves a
dramatic purpose, and t his play was conceived with specific
doubling in mind. For example, the actor playing Grempkin PROLOGUE
and Fighting Prawn (two sources of a nguish) doubles the
roles ofMack and Sanch e7. (two victims of abuse) . The actor A Bare Stage
playing Slank (who abuses Mack) in Act One doubles as
Hawking Cla m (neglected by Figh ting Prawn) in Act Two. A COMPANY OF MEN enters with a purpose, the
The actor playing Mrs. Bumbrake doubles as Teacher , a BOY in the middle.
coup which seems to give the audience particular delight. Boy When I was a boy, I wish ed I could fly.
(We chose to cast a male actor in these female roles, so Prentiss Me too.
that the actress playing our hero, Molly, would be th e Scott So did I!
only female in the cast, ther eby reflectin g the isolation of Boy Out t h e window a nd over the trees -
females in general, a nd young girls in particular, during Smee - high as a cloud and lighter than air
th e r eign of Queen Victoria- a time when a woman had Molly (pushing through the M EN) - then loop the loop and
the top job, but all other women were expected to b e seen up to t h e stars! I dreamed about flying all the time . (off
and not h eard.) Finally, since th e point of the play is a the looks from the MEN) What? Girls dream.
celebration of "all"-ness (see the final scene), all th e actors Boy Up to the star s - I like that.
should serve variously as sailors, seamen , seafarer s, Molly Me too.
orphan s, pirates, mermaids, Mollusks .. . and narrators . A moment of connection between them, the first of
In those cases where the actors ar e narrators, character many.
names accompany th e attribution for clarity. Aster Eventually, of course, we dream oth er dreams.
Prentiss We change.
Ted We grow up.
Aster It always happens. Nothing is forever.
Boy That's the rule.
V lll 1
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Prologue
Alf - where t wo t runks a:re delivered to two ships sh ar Slank - I'll switch 'em. (smacks the chalk-marked trunk)
ing the very same dock! · ' Get this trunk on board the Neuerland, y'garbage!
Smee Two trunks, deliberately similar to each other in Grempkin And I'll sell t hese boys into slavery. (to the
their . . . trunkness. BOYS) Cheer up, lads - you're off to Rundoon, to be
Aster One of them, containing a precious cargo belonging h elper s to th e King!
to th e Queen - Slank (aside, to GREMPKIN) Food for snakes, more like.
Stache - to be accompanied by Leon ard Aster , aboard (pays GR EMPKIN for the boys, then hollers to his crew)
one of the ships, a spanking new frigate Crate o' boys comin' aboard!
Scott - commanded by Leonard's old school chum, the Scott MAKE YER COURSE! SAY YER G'BYES!
legendary Robert Falcon Scott. Captain of ... t h e Wasp! Prentiss G'bye to who?
(A model of the Wasp appears and is passed brishly Ted There's nobody who cares.
along to him.) Fastest ship a floa t. Bound for th e remote Boy Which is why I hate, I h ate, I h ate grown-ups!
kingdom of Rundoon! Alf STOW YER CARGO! START YER PLAY! ADIEU!
SCOTT, now holding the Wasp, beams with pride. ADIEU!
The OTHERS applaud. MOLLY and MRS. BUMBRAKE help ASTER into
S lank (pushing through) And the other trunk, full o' his coat. The other men become MERCHANT
sand, courtesy o' me, Bill Slank, captain of this other SAILORS, ordered about by SLANK.
ship - (Someone holds up a model ofthe Neverland.) rrhe
Neverland.
EVERYONE scoffs and groans as the unimpressive
Neverland model is passed along.
SCENE ONE
Stache The N euerland - a slower s hip - The Neverland-On Deck
Smee - and long in the poop.
The Neverland model arrives in ALF's hands in SLANK cracks his whip and the SAILORS scurry.
time for: Slank Stow that trunk in my cabin, y'salt junkies!
Alf - a mercha nt ship, taking a longer route to Rundoon Sailors (singing)
jus t to be safe. ' THERE'S WIND IN THE FORETOP,
Slank And while nobody's lookin' - (EVERYONE turns THERE'S BOYS IN THE HOLD
away, occupied elsewhere.) I'll just ma rk the Queen's TO ME WAY, TO ME WAY HI-HO!
trunk, th e one s'posed to go on the Wasp. (makes a Slank Swabbers to the manacle!
chalk X on the top trunk) Then , at the last sec Sailors
Scott ALL ASHORE WHO'S GOING ASHORE! OH, THE FORETOP'LL SWELL,
4 5
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene One
THE BOYS'LL BE SOLD, th e Wasp, but I leave a mor e precious cargo here on
OR IT'S DOWN, OR IT'S DOWN WE GO. t h e N everland. Guard h er well. (gives SLANK a gold
Slank Shroud the h emp and jigger the futtocks! coin, calls) Mrs. Bumbrake, bring her to me! (MOLLY
Sailors runs to ASTER's outstretched arms.) Molly, my Molly.
OR IT'S DOWN, OR IT'S DOWN WE GO! Molly Please let me come with you. I don't like it on this
Narrator Alf With everything safely aboard, final ship.
preparations are made on the deck of the Neverland. Aster You're safer h ere on the Neverland. By the time
Trimly uniformed BRITISH SEAMEN march on, you arrive in Rundoon, I'll have completed my mission,
accompanied by a military cadence. and we'll be together again .
Seamen The ship's cat sidles up to MOLLY's legs, meowing
CALL ALL HANDS TO MAN THE CAPSTAN, affectionately.
RUN THE CABLE DOWN THE CHROME. Molly Look, Daddy- the cat, the ship's cat. A lucky sign!
HEAVE A WAY, AND SAY G'BYE, BOYS, Here, puss, puss ...
P'AR FROM ENGLAND, FAR FROM HOME. Aster Molly! Careful!
The SEAMEN snap to attention, smart and neat. Molly It's all right, Daddy. Rim's a sweet little puss, isn't
Narrator Seaman Prentiss A squadron of British him ...
Navy seamen in bright, smart uniforms boards the The cat mews sweetly in MOLLY's arms.
Neverland Mrs. Bumbrake Our Molly loves all God's little crea
Narrator Seaman Greggors - led by one Lieu ten ant tures.
Greggors, ready to accompany Lord Leonard Aster to MRS. BUMBRAKE hands the purring cat to a
H er Majesty's vessel, the Wasp. passing SAILOR.
GREGGORS wears a naval officer's hat. The Molly (ever so bravely) Daddy . . . I know you don't need
Neverland's ragtag sailors stare jealously at the my h elp in Rundoon, but I've got to start pulling my
grandeur of these navy sea dogs. weight sometime.
Greggors Captain Scott's compliments, your Lordship Aster You're all grown up, aren't you.
. .. but could you join him aboard the Wasp as soon as Molly I am, Daddy. Courage now, promise?
possible! Aste r Promise.
Aster A moment. Captain Slank! Molly (giving in to tears) Oh dear.
SLANK emerges from the shadows, whip in hand. Two SAILORS topple a crate very near to Molly's
Slank Here, yer Lordship. head.
Aster I'm taking th e Queen's treasure to Rundoon aboard Narra tor Slank Just then, t h e crate of boys bursts open!
6 7
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene One
Narrator Boy One of th.e boys almost falls out! Aster Sorry?
Narrator Molly Hanging upside down just over Molly's Molly (being brave about messing it up) Click bleep
head! cwaaaah?
Narrator Boy He stares at h er . Aster I think you mean
Narrator Molly She stares at him. Narrator Stache They're speaking in Dodo, a language
Narrator Boy He has an air about him. known only to, well -
Narrator Molly The look of a boy who doesn't miss Narra tor Scott - dodos - and a handful of very special
much, or say much about it. humans.
Slank (lifting the BOY back into the crate and slamming it Narrator Aster Dodo: a fat, clumsy bird, h ence the
shut) Back in the box, y'monkeys! Latin name, Didus ineptus.
Narrator Molly Something about the boy makes Molly Narrator Alf Known for its greedy appetite, slothful
feel like she just grew up a little. pace, and sense of entitlement, the dodo was fearless of
Aster (confidentially) Daughter. (MOLLY can't take her people a nd faced no real competition - an eerie mirror
eyes off the BOY, fascinated.) A word. (His stern tone of the British Empire at its colonial zenith. Of course,
snaps MOLLY to attention.) There isn't any treasUI·e in those same traits were responsible for the dodo's
th e Queen's trunk, and wh at is in it has to be destroyed, extinction - an eerie mirror of t h e British Empire after
by order of Her Majesty, Queen Victoria. its colonial zenith - but th ereby hangs another tale.
Molly God Save Her.
ASTER has placed an amulet around his nech and
All GOD SAVE HER.
a matching amulet around MOLLY's necle.
Aster I'll h ave to move quickly before the King of Run
Aster .. . and don't ever take this off or let anyone else
doon even knows I'm there.
touch it. You know what's in this amulet, Molly. And
Molly But how are you going to destroy it?
you know how to use it if you're ever in trouble .
Aster Can you keep it a secret?
Molly I can. Molly But what if something happens to you? You need
me on th e Wasp.
EVERYONE ELSE on the ship crowds around them Aster Too dangerous - I won't have it.
to eavesdrop.
Molly I want to be part of the mission!
All WE CAN. Aster If you can't be British, you can go straight home
To avoid being overheard, ASTER speaks in Dodo. and back to school, young lady. Mrs. Bumbrake
Aster (holding an amulet in his hand, ad libs) Cwah cheep Molly NO! Don't send me home, please. I'll be good, I
wirp reet reet burp. promise.
Molly (spealeing with great difficulty) Click . .. bleep . .. Mrs. Bumbrake Shut the faucet, Molly- blubberin' like
cwaaaah! a whale when the world's your oyster! Be a woman!
8 9
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene One
10 11
Peter and the Starcatcher
Act One: Scene Two
come a fter you! (turns green as the ship creaks and the a third door. She opens it to find SLANK wielding a
cabin lists) Oh. Oh dear ... (calling off) Best bring back branding iron over MACK'S hand.
a bucket before Betty Bumbra ke blows her bloomin' Slank I said port, you idjit ! Port! Which way is port?
breakfast! Mack The right! The right!
The other SAILORS cringe.
Slank Left, y'fool! Gimme his left! A nice big P - help you
SCENE THREE remember!
SLANK brands MACK's hand with a giant letter
Bowels of the Ship P - a horrible hissing of burning flesh. MACK howls.
MOLLY slams the door shut. The ship's a scary place,
Careful not to be seen, MOLLY follows ALF down but she's not afraid.
the dim and damp gangways, passing MAC'K and Molly Pigs!? Wh ere's th e pigs?
another SA ILOR.
MOLLY spots ALF and follows him through one
Mack C'mon up for some poker , Alf?
final, wretched door.
Alf Slank put me on pig duty, t he rat bastard. Goin' down
to the bilge to feed th e swine. (MOLLY follows ALF
through a swinging door and down another cramped
passageway, both of them on their knees. ALF breaks
wind in her face.) God Save H er. SCENE FOUR
ALFgoes one way, MOLLY another - jumping down B ilge Dungeon
a hatch into the bowels of the ship. Darliness and
dripping. There are many doors to many cabins. Three filthy urchins, the BOYS from the crate,
MOLLY opens a first door and finds a mob of huddle together. MOLLY slips in behind ALF and
gamblers. After a frenzied roll of the dice, and much stays hidden by the door.
shouting, MOLLY slams the door shut. She malies Alf If it ain't th e three lit tle piggies! Got yer sea legs?
her way down the gangway. Behind a second door, Prentiss, Ted Oh thank you! Get us out of h ere! Hungry!
worshipers gather in prayer. Please! H elp!
All (singing) Alf (shutting them up) Oi!!
ETERNAL FATHER S TRONG TO SAVE, Prentiss Excuse me, sir. Quick question for the Captain
WHOSE ARM DOTH BIND THE RESTLESS WA VE, Alf What are you, piggy spokesman?
WHO BIDD'ST THE Prentiss I'm the leader.
MOLLY slams the door shut. She makes her way to Ted No, you're not.
14 15
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Four
Prentiss Yes I am. I'm the oldest. Boy (another tack) A question, Mister?
Alf I'm the oldest and I say pipe down. Alf One.
Ted But I'm hungry! Boy Do we have to stay down h ere in th e dark?
Alf It's yer lucky day then, ain't it? Al f 'Til Slank hands ye over to Kin g Zarboff.
ALF throws TED the buchet. Boy Is t he King nice t o h is helpers?
Ted Finally! Alf That's two.
Alf You'll wanna swallow that down quick. Bon e uppity. ALF exits. The door slams shut behind him.
TED devours the contents. Ted I got a sick feeling a bout t his.
Pre ntiss Any good? Prentiss I'll think of something.
TED gags and spits out a glob of slop, choking. MOLLY steps from the shadows.
Ted IT 'S ALIVE! Molly No you won't. (The BOYS scream, terrified!) In my
experience, boys are sadly slow thinkers.
PRENTISS peers inside the bucket.
Ted What is it?!
Pre ntiss It's worms !
Prentiss What are you?
Ted He fed me wor ms!
Molly I'm a girl.
Prentiss I won't eat th a t.
They edge away, the BOY hiding behind TED and
Ted (to ALF) Please, sir - is there a veget arian alter
native? PRENTISS.
Alf In my day, pigs weren't quite so pa rticular. Pre ntiss No way.
Ted We saw a girl once
ALF starts to leave. The BOYS fight over the worms.
Prentiss - headmaster's daughter.
Prentiss Don't hog it a ll. Gimme!
T e d It was nothing like you. It was all - (characterizing
Ted You said you wouldn't eat it!
that awful girl of yore) "aarr gh, rowrrr, gonna getcha!"
Boy (can't stop himself, to ALF) YOU! WAIT!
Molly (the boss) Who's the leader h ere?
Prentiss (hissed, to the BOY) What're you doing!?
Prentiss Who wants to know?
Ted You'll get us a beating!
Molly Molly Ast er. Doctor Pretorius back home says I
Alf (turning proudly) Belay that "you"! I'm called Mister
have an extraordinarily high level of brain power.
on this vessel - mark ofrespect for a lifetime of seafaring.
Prentiss If you're so smart, how come you're stuck on
Prentiss (to ALF) Never mind him. H e's got a real
this dirt bucket?
problem with authority.
Molly I'm not stuck. I'm going to meet my father in
Alf Ha! So do I. (softens) I know worms is rough vittles,
Rundoon. He has important things to do.
boys, but they'll grease the pipes 'til we set yer down
Prentiss We have important things to do.
in Ru ndoon.
Ted No we don't .
16 17
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Four
Prentiss I'm the leader, and I say we got some things. Ted It's a blood-sugar thing.
Boy (to MOLLY) H e's not the leader. Prentiss Faint at the merest whisper of - (to MOLLY,
MOLLY recognizes the upside-down BOY from the gleeful) get this - (back to TED) sticky pudding!
crate. Ted (faints to his knees) Sticky pudding, it's so good ...
Molly You. Pre ntiss Like I said, food-obsessed. I'm Prentiss. I'm in
Boy You . ch arge here.
Molly How old are you? Molly (turns to TED) Ever notice, Ted - the more you
Boy How old are you? claim leadership, the more it eludes you?
Molly I'm thirteen. Ted (to PRENTISS) Oh, snap!
Boy I'm thirteen. Molly And what are you, boy?
Molly Wait - I just r emembered today's my birthday. I'm Boy (rndely) Leave me alone.
fifteen. Molly Sorry.
Boy If you were thirteen and today's your birthday, you'd Ted Don't take it personally.
be fourteen. Prentiss He's rude to everybody.
Molly I only celebrate odd-numbered birthdays. Ted It's why h e gets beatings.
Prentiss Wait a minute, wait a minute, doesn't m atter Prentiss And why he's got no friends.
how old you are! I'm still the leader. The leader has to Ted Go on. Tell h er your name, why don't you?
be a boy. PRENTISS and TED laugh cruelly.
Molly (to TED) Hey - up our end of the ship we get served Molly What's so funny?
proper food. I can lead you there - (to PRENTISS, Boy Thanks, Ted.
pointedly) which would make me the leader. Ted He doesn't have a name.
Ted (drooling) Proper food? Really? Prentiss Been orphan'd too long to remember.
Molly Just tell me your names. Ted Grempkin calls him
Boy Why should we? Ted, Prentiss (mocking) - mule!
Molly (conspiratorially) Only that ... if you h ave names, Boy Go on! You and your stupid names go follow some
they serve you meat. stupid girl.
Ted TED! I'm TED! Prentiss Like we need your permission, friendless.
Prentiss But I call him Tubby, 'cuz h e's food-obsessed . Molly (defending the BOY) Doesn't cost any more to be
Ted I am not food ob- nice, charmless.
Prentiss D'you write poems about pie? Ted What about the food?
Ted To pass the time Prentiss (to MOLLY) You can be like temporary leader
Prentiss Hide beans in your blanket? but only 'til we eat.
18 19
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scen e Four
Molly (to the BOY, fascinated) Fair warning, boy - I shall Grempkin Uncover yourself, disgra ce to the mother that
expose you utterly. left you!
Narrator Grempkin As no one had ever shown the Narrator Bumbrake (singing gently)
slightest inter est in him before , the boy's eyes began to OH, FOR THE WINGS,
sparkle and the lure of competition wiped some of the FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE . . .
misery from his face. Grempkin (pointing viciously to another boy) You watch,
Molly Right. Follow me. or you 're next!
MOLLY exits the bilge dungeon. GREMPKIN freezes.
Ted Right. Follow Mother Narr a tor Aster At th e mention of Mother, the boy heard
Boy Molly. a wisp of a song h e could barely remember
Ted That's what I said. Follow Molly. Narrator Alf - a nd saw a shadow of a home h e h oped
TED and PRENTISS exit, leaving the BOY alone. h e might h ave.
The ship groans. The BOY quickly gets frightened, Instantly, we see a tableau of a happy fam ily
claustrophobic. the BOY, embraced by a mother and father and
Narrator Boy The boy may have wis hed to be alone but brothers.
he didn't r eally mean it. The sparkle in his eyes f~des, Narrator Stache Fa ther and son
a nd s trange sounds in the dark make him r emember Narrator Molly - mother and child.
the orphanage, make him think about - Narrator Smee And even with so little ground for
Grempkin WHERE'S THAT MULE!! hope-
Flashback: St. Norbert's Orphanage for Lost Boys. Narrator Boy - still h e believed
Many ORPHANS stand shivering in a cold, barren Narrator Prentiss - despite his distress and sorrow
school yard. GREMPKJN holds sway, brandishing a Narrator Ted - tha t one day su ch a home would be his.
wooden switch. Boy (happy) Home.
Boy H erc, sir. The tableau melts away, and the BOY has bared his
Grempkin (grabs the BOY by the scruff of the neck) back to GREMPIUN, who looms over him, wooden
You are all s hades of nasty, mule. Oi - lookit this switch raised high.
filth! Grempkin Orphan Rule Number One!
Boy (k nowing what's coming) Don't hit me, sir! Cesspit's Boy Life is meant to be horrible.
dirty work! GREMPKJN whips the boy hard!
Grempkin A mule afraid of his own shadow. Be a man! Grempkin Rule Number Two!
Boy Thank you, Mister Grempkin. Boy There are no orphans in h eaven.
20 21
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Five
GREMPKIN whips the boy again! quite dark. A tattered Union Jack covers something
Grempkin Rule Number Three! large and unidentified.
Boy Missus Grempkin's ugly! Ast er Awfully cramped for a captain's quarters.
The other ORPHANS laugh rudely. Greggor s No frills on a frigate, sir. Sanchez, pull the
Grempkin (his fury knowing no bounds) Anyone who door to . . . There's a good fellow.
laughs is dead! The SEAMEN crowd into the cabin.
GREMPKIN chases the ORPHANS away. The flash Aster Wher e's the Captain, Lieutenant?
back fades, leaving the BOY alone and whimpering Greggors (smiles modestly) I'm no lieutenant. I told
in the bilge dungeon. a lie.
Boy Mother. Mother .. . Aster Unthinkable - British never lie.
MOLLY opens the cabin door. Greggors Well, pirates do. Don't we, boys!
Molly C'mon, you! Last chance! We Asters do not leave GREGGORS throws off his British naval hat,
boys behind. revealing his true identity: SMEE. The SEAMEN
The BOY wipes his eyes and runs after MOLLY. reveal themselves as PIRATES.
Aster I demand to see Captain Scott!
Smee Why didn't you say so? Presto Scotto!
SMEE lifts the Union Jack to reveal CAPTAIN
SCENE FIVE SCOTT, trussed like a chicken with a gag in his
The Wasp- Captain's Cabin mouth.
Aster What? Robbie! (to SMEE) How dare you, sir?
Crammed in a doorway are ASTER, GREGGORS, Release this man!
and the SEAMEN. Instead, SMEE strips ASTER of His Lordship's
Narrator Greggors We shift our attention now to the coat.
oth er ship, barreling due south at a brisk twelve knots. Sm ee I'll take th e key to that treasure trunk o' yours.
That fine British frigate Ast e r You'll have to kill me first.
All -THE WASP S m ee (eyeing his two prisoners) We were going to kill you
Narrator Aster -wher e Molly's father, Lord Aster, has secon d, but I'm flexible.
been ushered roughly below deck. S t ache (from off) A-choo!
Greggors Captain Scott's cabin, Your Lordship. Do Immediate terror.
go m . Pirate Alf He's coming aft!
GREGGORS pushes ASTER inside. The cabin is Sanchez In a nasty mood!
22 23
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Five
Pirate Boy A foul and·nasty mood! Oh, to be in England, now t hat April's there,
Aster What ar e you playing at? But whoever's not in England gets to see
Smee "Pirates," sir. The Wasp is now a pirate ship. Yer my facial hair.
British crew's in chains below! (to ASTER) Now, you're likely wondering: can the
Aster There've been no pirates in these parts for a fellow before you be entirely evil? Can no compassion
hundred years! un-cr ease this furrowed brew?
Smee We've been keeping a very low profile. Smee Brow.
Aster And you're the Captain, I suppose? Stache Brow. Well, fret not, mon frere - I'm a romantic!
Smee I, sir? There's a poet in th ese pirat e veins, an d so I plug into
Aster Aye, sir. You, sir. the muse. (holds his hand out to SMEE for a manicure)
Smee No, sir. Not Smee, sir. But what to do? Which style to use? Iambic? Box office
Aster Smee, sir? poison. Haiku? SamurAI-don't-think-so! (suddenly
Smee Tha L's me, sir. But no Captain I, sir. vicious to SMEE) Mind th e cuticle, Smee! (Eureka!)
Aster You lie, sir. Hoopah! Got it! (a steely glare at ASTER)
Smee Oh no, sir. The devil himself s in charge here A pirate with scads of panache
abouts. Wants the key to the trunk with the cash.
Aster The devil, you say. Now, here's some advice,
Smee The Prince of Darkness. Our Satanic Supervisor. Tho' I seem to be nice
Foul and Nasty with t he Cloven Hoof. I'LL CUT YOU!!! Slit you up one side 'n' down the
Aster And how would one identify him in a crowd? other so ye can watch yer own stomach flop around on
Smee By his legendary cookie-duster, that's how! the deck. (holds a straight razor to ASTER's throat, but
Aster Whiskers? ASTER doesn't flinch) I say, Smee - you did expla in to
Smee By his celebrated mouth-brow, that's how! my Lord that I'm a bloodthirsty outla w?
Aster Well, docs h e have a name? Smee Aye, Cap'n. But he still wouldn't give up the key!
Smee The pirate captain they call ... BLACK STACHE! Stache We h aven't got all night, Smee. People have paid
The PIRATES shriek and bemoan the hearing of this for na nnies and parking. Stand aside. I'll have to do
terrible name. And suddenly, there he stands - THE it myself, or I'm not - I'm not - (heartbroken) WHAT
BLACK STACHE, carrying a bucket ... into which AMI??
he pukes and spits. Pirates BLACK STACHE!!
Stache (waving cordially to ASTER) Hallo. (The PIRATES Stache They refer, of course, to THIS! (The PIRATES
shriek again and bemoan what might happen next. gasp!) The trademark nose-brush of every man,
STACHE continues, winsomely.) woman and child in me family, dating right back to
24 25
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Five
the a moeba. Yet, for-us, the face foliage has been, oh , trunk.) The Wasp is my ship now, and everything
so much more than a lawn on the lip, sir. 'Tis what aboard h er belongs to me, including the treasure
we are, and why we ai·e it. And when everyone else Victoria thinks nobody knows about. Silly old queen.
got out of t he pirate business, The Stache stuck it out Aster God Save Her.
knowing one day my ship would come in. This is th~ Stach e Queen.
day. This is the ship. (menacingly) Now, cough up that Aster God Save Her.
key, my Lord. Stach e Victoria.
Aster Not a ch ance, you thug. Aster God Save Her.
S1'ACHE throws a tantrum at this insult, then Stache Banana.
recovers. Aster God Save -
Stache (to SMEE) Why, is that my Lord's coat you 're Stach e (gotcha!) Oopsy! (The PIRATES appreciate
holding? ASTER's humiliation. STACHE perches on the trunk)
SMEE helps STACHE on with Aster's coat. Here's two things. When I open this swag, I'll be the
S mee Looks to be about your size, Cap'n. single most significant pirate in the world , the solar
Stache What the well-dressed "thug" is wearing this system, or other places yet to be discovered anywhere
season . in the universe.
Smee So comme il faut, Cap'n . So very comme il faut. A moment passes.
STACHE surveys his reflection in a mirror. He's Aster That's only one thing -
pleased with what he sees. Stache The second thing is a dilemm a, a large one, the
Stac h e I say, Smee - what is it the men call me? Cadillac Escalade of dilemmas, in point of fact - for
Smee Nancy, sir? a little bird tells me that your darling daughter is
Stache No, the other thing. sailing to Rundoon on the safer southern route, aboard
Smee Ruthless, sir. Ruthless, Heartless, and Peerless. th e Navel Nerd.
Stache (so sweetly) Guilty as charged. (to ASTER) Now, Sm ee The Neverland, sir .
give us the key! Stache Huh?
Aster Never. Smee The Neverland, sir.
Stache Playing games is for children , Lord Aster, and Stache Same letters: Navel Nerd - Neverland. I was
I h ate, I h ate, I ha te children! (hurls his bucket at the close. I was pretty darn close! Splitting rabbits,
mirror, smashing it) Bring it in, Gomez! r eally ...
Sanchez It's Sanchez, sir. Smee Hairs, sir.
Stache (so hard to find good help these days) Just ... Stache Splitting hares, th at too. (to ASTER, cheerfully)
bring it in. Thanks ever so. (PIRATES drag in the Oh! OH! Just a sec! I know you love your Molly above
26 27
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Six
rubies. What say you to a quick detour, we pluck her Molly Pork chops, pork salad, and pork belly pie.
off the Neverland, and you can watch h er die! Unless Ted Greatest night of my life.
you're feeling a weensy bit more amenable? (eyes Molly Sssshhh! There's more tomorrow if we don't get
ASTER, whose hand gives him away) Love yer locket! caught .
But what's in yer pocket? Oh, allow me! (reaches in and Ted "Pork" - beautiful word.
extracts the key) Done 'n' dusted, kippers 'n' custard. A different, louder bell is heard outside Slank's
Here's the key, boys! cabin.
The PIRATES are so focused on the key, they don't Boy There's the ringing again
notice that the amulet around Aster's neck begins to Prentiss H er neck-thing-
glow. There is a sound of belts. Freeze. Molly No, it's coming from someplace else.
The shadow of a cat appears on Slank's cabin door,
a glow emanating from within.
SCENE SIX Boy Behind this door.
Molly Get away, Boy! Don't open th at cabin!
The Neverland-Passageway The BOY opens it anyway. The horrible ship's cat
fiies gently out, fioating, lighter than air, gurgling
Molly's matching amulet begins to glow as well. and cooing sweetly.
Bells ring. Boy Holy- !
Molly (holding the amulet) My father. He's in trouble. Molly Slank's - !
Prentiss Your neck-thing is glowing. Ted Cat-!
Ted And rin ging. Prentiss Flying!
Molly Don't ask me about that. Narrator Stache We ask you now to imagine a grown cat
Prentiss I can ask whatever I want. I'm th e leader. in flight-
Boy Lay off, Prentiss. (to MOLLY) C'mon , you h ave to Narrator Slank - suspended in space as if h anging from
tell. a string.
Molly All right, listen. (furtively) My father is going to Narrator Smee Of course, the boys don't have to
Rundoon on a secret mission for the Queen. imagine
Boy What's a mission? Narrator Alf - because there they are, a nd t h ere's t he
Mrs. Bumbrake (from off) Molly! Where are you, girl? cat-
MOLLY bundles the BOYS down another corridor. Narrator Bumbrake - and that cat is definitely
Molly Ssssh! Down this gangway, and keep it quiet! flying-
Ted Tell me again, what was it called, what we ate? Narra tor Scott - and those bells are definitely ringing
28 29
Peter and the Sta rcatcher Act One: Scene Seven
Narrator Aster - and that cabin is definitely glowing. MOLLY is moued by this glimpse into the boy's soul.
Mo lly Glowing - ringing....:. flying - it can only mean one So are TED and PRENTISS.
thing! Prentiss Well, that's more t h an he said in th e last
Aster (holding his amulet) Starstuff! thirteen years.
Molly Starstuff! The Queen's tru nk is in Slank's cabin! Boy So, bedtime stories? Not a big priority, okay?
(slams the cabin door shut, gr unting from the effort and Molly No, it's not okay. I'm givin g you one. It's a gift.
extinguishing the glow and bells) Okay, nothing to see Least I can do. Like, um - Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping
her e, move along. Beauty's a good one. You'll like it. There's a kiss in it.
T e d But that cat was Tru e Love's Kiss.
Molly No it wasn't. Te d Yeah! (then) I don't know what that is.
Prentiss Yes it was! Tubby's ri gh t ! Your neck-thing was Molly Then I'll tell you. C'mon - back to your cabin
ringing and Slank's cat was totally fly and I'll be Moth er. Now - the story of Sleeping
Molly (distracting them from the flying cat) Hey- y'know Beauty. "Once upon a time" - that's how they always
what'd be fun? Howzabou t a bedtime story! start - "Once upon a time, a beautiful baby was
T e d What's that? born ..."
Molly Oh, h a-ha , very amus - (realizing) omigosh - you MOLLY, Pied Piper-like, lures the BOYS off
poor things. You 've n ever h a d a bedtime story?
Prentiss This might sound kinda defensive
Ted Hard to h ave a bedtime when you don't have a bed.
Molly Sorry. Sorry, I didn't m ean to SCENE SEVEN
Boy Tell you what. You say "sorry" so easy, like the rough The W asp- Captain's Cabin
patch's smoothed over, no hard feelings and everything's
fixed. Well, no. There's dark .. . a mass of darkness in
S TACHE enters, finishing his own fai ry tale.
t he world, and if you get trapped in that cave like us,
it beats you down. "Sorry'' can't fix it. Better to say Stache " . .. and that beautiful baby h a d a big, bushy
nothing th an "sorry." (hearing his mother's song, far handlebar, and it gr ew out as he grew up and they
away) When it's night, and I'm too scar ed to sleep, I look both lived a wfully ever after. The end ." (rises, exultant,
through the cr acks, y'know? - bet ween the wood n ailed key in hand) From this day forth, it'll be nothing
over the win dow - and I see all those lit tle stars that but pleasure cr uises and the odd America's Cup for
I can't r each, and I think t hat in a hundred years, or me. Now, open - (unlocks the trunk and throws open
two or three hundred maybe, boys'll be free and life'll be the lid) and perpend! (A Piratical Silence of Great
so beautiful that nobody'll ever say "sorry" again - 'cuz Awfulness.) What is that?
nobody'll have to. I think about tha t a lot. Smee It's sand, sir.
30 31
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Eight
Aster Sand? But that's impossible. Stache Superfast! Which means we're leagues ahead of
Stache When you say sand, do you mean the utterly her by now, Einstein! Change of course! (to SANCHEZ)
worthless granular material one associates with the Hard about! (turns on ASTER) You're behind this
water's edge? swappery, Aster, or I'm the Queen of England!
Smee Yes, sir. Aster God Save Her.
Stache I see. (then, to ASTER) Perchance you think a Stache Oh shut up! (to SANCHEZ) I said hard about,
treasure trunk sans treasure has put my piratical Gomez!
BVDs in a twist? How wrong you are. Yes, I'd hoped to Sanchez It's Sanchez, sir.
be hip-deep in diamonds, but they're a poor substitute Stache Hit the pedal, Gretel!
for what I really crave: a bona fide hero to help me feel Sanchez That's Sanchez, sir!
whole. For without a h ero, what am I? Half a villain; a Stache Burn rubber, Bubba!
pirate in part; ruthless, but toothless. And then I saw Sanchez iAY de mil iQue demonio! iDebo protestar!
you, and I thought, "Maybe? Can it be? Is he the one I've Stache GIVE ME IT, Y'SHROOM! (takes control of wheel)
waited for? Would h e, for example, give up something You pay peanuts, you ge t monkeys. Now, juice it! The
precious for the daughter he loves?" But alas, h e gives chase is on! The die is cast! The game's afoot - ! (jumps
up sand. Now, let's see. Hero with treasure, very good. on trunk but trips and crashes; qnickly recovers and
Hero with no treasure ... doable. No h ero and a trunk strikes a majestic reclining pose) I want that treasure,
full o' sand? Not so much. (suddenly monstrous) NOW, boys! Catch m e a Neverland!!
WHERE'S MY TREASURE?!? STACHE is carried off atop the trunk, to victory.
Smee What if they swapped the trunks, sir?
Stache Swapped, y'say?
Smee (smacks himself on the head) Stupid idea, Smee.
Stupid, stupid! SCENE EIGHT
Stache Swapped, yes. Switched - right there on the dike.
The Neverland-Bilge Dungeon
Smee Deck.
Stache Deck. In which case -
With the BOYS curled at her feet, MOLLY finishes
Smee The trunk with the treasure's aboard the Neverland.
Stache Destiny check! What do we know about the
her bedtime story.
Never land? Molly And, as the Princess slept, a thick forest grew up
Smee She's a slow ship, Cap'n. around the castle, keeping everybody out. Everybody
Stache Sadly slow. And what of our ship, the Wasp? but one man. Boys?
Smee We're fast, Cap'n. Boy (nearly asleep) The Prince, right?
32 33
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scen e Nine
Molly The Prin ce, yes, very good. He chopped his way t o Neverland! Soon as we catch you , steer clear of Black
Sleeping Beauty's room, saw his true love and kissed Stache and BRING THE TRUNK TO ME!
her, just once , sweetly on the lips. Molly I will!
Ted (in his sleep) Mmm ... pork. As ter Don't let m e down , Daugh ter! This is you r mis
Molly And True Love's Kiss broke the spell, the P rincess sion now!
found her Prince, an d they all lived h appily ever - (Her M olly (ecstatic at the responsibility) Yes, sir. Thank you,
amulet suddenly g lows a nd rings.) The a mulet aga in! sir! Cwa-cwah! Cwa-cwah! Vreeeep!
Ta lk t o me, Da ddy! The BOY appears.
MOLL Y leaves the sleeping boys and heads for the Boy What are you doing?
deck. A S TER appears on the Wasp. Startled, MOLLY lets go of her amulet. Lights out
Na r r ator Ast er With the Wasp racing a t fla nk speed on ASTER.
for the Neverland , Leona rd Aster clears his mind and
tries to reach Molly.
They lift their am ulets away from their chests for
better reception. SCENE NINE
Molly Daddy, are you there? Hello, h ello? The Neverla nd-On Decli
Aster Can you hear me now? (adjusts amulet) Can you
hear me now? MOLL Y turns to find the BOY on the deck behind
Molly Daddy - t he Queen 's tr unk is here, on board the her.
N ever land! Molly Sorry, wh at ? Um - get below, boy. If Slank sees
Aster Not in English! Too dangerous. you on deck, he'll rear up like th e
Molly Oh dear , please don't speak in Boy You were talking to your neck-thing.
Aster (ad libs) Brump burp wheee!
Molly No, I wasn't.
Molly Oh Daddy, not Dodo.
Boy I know wh a t I saw.
Aster Myah myah vrrreeep! Molly Well, there was . . . th ere was a porpoise swimming
Molly Par rots? A flock of parrots? alongside th e ship, an d it was m aking those funny
Aster Vrrrraaap, vrrrrrreeep! E eeep! n oises that porpoises make, a nd I th ought I'd m ak e
Molly Parrots have t aken over your ship? Well, what some funny noises too, th at's a ll.
genius brought parrots - ? Boy So you were talkin g to a fish .
Aster PIRATES! We've been taken over by pirates! Molly Porpoises are not fish . They're mammals, just like
Molly Pirates! Oh, that hard "i" sound is so tricky
you. Or Germans .
Aster MOLLY! The Wasp is bearing down on the
34 35
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Nine
Boy Then how come yo~r neck-thing glows and rings all Boy Who's that?
by itself? Molly Uch, didn't you learn anything at that orphanage?
Molly (not very convincing) It's for swimming. I'm a good Boy Was kinda busy trying not to die.
swimmer. It's a swimming medal. Molly Oh.
Boy Right. Swimming. Sure. And what's s tarstuff? Boy So if star stuffs so dangerous, why're you after it?
Molly Decision. I'm going to trust you . Molly I'm a Starcatcher. We have special powers th at we
Boy Why? I'm just a boy. u se in secret- to keep starstuff away from tyrants who
Molly I know. Pity. (remembers the boy's "sorry" mani try to rule the world.
fe sto, looks at the sky) You like to look at the s tars? Boy You mean , like Queen Victoria?
Well, there they are Molly God Save H er. And no, that's different. Sh e doesn't
Boy There's so many ... need starstuff to rule the world. She's British.
Molly They look safe, don't they, sparkling up there like Boy So you're a - what is it?
diamonds. Molly Starcatcher. There's only six and a half of u s on
Boy I like when they shoot across the sky! Shooom! the planet.
Molly (suddenly very like her father) Sometimes pieces of Boy Six and a half?
them fall to earth - little bits that look like sand. Can Molly I'm still an apprentice.
you keep a secret? Boy Okay, so prove it .
Boy I can. Molly What?
All WE CAN. Boy Go on, amaze me with your special powers.
Molly Those little bits ar e starstuff. The trunk in Slank's Molly It's not a magic show. I'm not like some magician
cabin is full of it. (grabs her amulet) There's some in guy.
h ere too, in case I'm ever in trouble. Boy Well, I mean if you can't actually do anyth ing ...
Boy (tries to touch the amulet) Starstuff?? Lemme see!! Molly Fine, whatever. (then) To have faith is to have
Molly NO!! (pulls the amulet away) It cha n ges people if wmgs.
they touch it. MOLLY clasps the amulet tightly, closes her eyes,
Boy How? and floats a few inches off the deck .. . then down
Molly Different ways - depending on what they want again.
to be. Boy Whoa.
Boy So if somebody gets their hands on this starstuff Molly Satisfied?
and Boy So the cat was flying. C'mon , I wanna fly, too! Like
Molly - a nd they're evil and greedy like Genghis Khan, you a nd the cat!
or they're hungry for world domination like Caesar or Molly Get serious, will you?! The starstuff has to be
Napoleon or, you know, Ayn Rand destroyed.
36 37
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Nine
Boy (not believing in hi°inself yet) You want me to destroy Molly Ew.
it?? Boy That's gross.
Molly Don't be ridiculous. My father is going to throw Molly Get below, boy!
it into the world's hottest active volcano - Mount MOLLY gets safely out of harm's way, but SLANK
J a la peiio. brutally hurls his whip and snags the BOY.
Boy Where's that? Slank He ain't goin' below, he's goin' over!
Molly Rundoon, wouldn't you know it. Problem is, King Boy Let go ! Lem me go!
Zarboff would kill for even a thimble of s tarstuff!
SLANK reels the BOY in, close to the rail of the
Boy Hey, I can h elp. See, I'm gonna be the king's ship. The Neverland is lurching now, the sea below
new helper. So when we get to Rundoon, I'll just ask churning and getting wilder.
him
S lank Zarboff promised me his whole bleedin' fleet in
Molly You're not going to be his helper. You'r e going t o
exchange for the trunk in my cabin.
be sn a ke food! Zarboff likes to buy orphans and feed
Narra tor Alf Strong gusts blowing, winds hit 34 knots!
them to his snakes!
Boy (fighting for his life) I HATE GROWN-UPS!
Boy So Grempkin lied.
Slank Make like a kitten - take a long, long time to
Molly King Zarboff the Third is evil - h e's the worst
Zarboff yet! drown! Bottom's up, boy!
Boy Grown-ups always lie! It's all they ever do! SLANK lifts the BOY overhead, holding him
Molly You want to help? Then help m e get that trunk to perilously aloft.
my father! Boy Not overboard! Please! I can 't -
Boy H ey, you know wh at? For get it! Why should I help Slank Can't wh at ?
a ny body?? WHAT'S ANYBODY EVER DONE FOR Boy SWIM!
ME?? SLANK tosses the BOY into the sea. He sinks below
Out of nowhere, S LANK! the waves, then claws his way to the surface, sp itting
Slank You! up water. MOLLY swims on.
Boy (furious) Snake food? Really? Molly H ere I am, boy! All will be well!
Slank (circling the BOY like a shark about to attack) I told MOLLY saves the BOY and backstrokes him to
you to stay in yer crate, orphan sludge. the ship and safety. A gull flies over the waves,
Boy When exactly were you gonna tell us we were - squawking at the rising storm and the roiling sea.
Slank That's it. Bill Slank is drnwin' the line! I may not
have been born with a silver spoon up me bum, but
tha t don't mean I won't stir my tea with one!
38 39
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Ten
40 41
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Ten
Narrators Scott, Smee - turning the Neverland hard Stache Sweeten the choppers 'n' r eef the expedient. This
against the grain wind'll t hrow guano something fierce in yer face! Oi!
Narrator Smee - and jolting two people in a tiny cabin D'you see what I see, Smee?
below! Smee The Neverland, Cap'n! She's h eadin' right fo1· u s!
ALF and MRS. B UMBRAKE, in her tiny cabin. Stache This is too easy! I think I'm even feeling a weensy
Alf, Mrs. Bumbrake (singing) bit guilty. (pouts a moment) And ... I'm over it. (barks
I'VE WAITED FOR LOVE, the command) Up the gunter! Prepare to board!
IVE WAITED FOR BLISS, Smee Up the gunter!
I'VE WAITED FOR THIS The PIRATES buch with a huge, rolling wave!
ALF is about to liiss MRS. BUMBRAKE, but she Stache And keep the Union Jack flying so Bill Slank
pushes him away thinks we'll be polite!
Mrs. Bumbrake No! No more nattering. I'm still a Nana Smee So devious! So very devious!
and I must find Molly. (JOLT! They stagger.) Spit m e Stache Neverland, HO! Victory is OURS! Well, MINE!
over, what was that?! Narrators WIND 63 KNOTS: HURRICANO! VIOLENT
Alf We'r e changing course is all - straight for the Isle of STORM! VISIBILITY GONE! WHOLE WAVES!
Love BLACK SKIES! RED OVER WHITE OVER RED!
Mrs. Bumbrake But where's my Molly? (ALF begins On the dech of the Neverland, looking up at the
kissing up her arm.) She's been lost ever so long. (Ki ss Wasp:
Jiiss kiss.) Cease and desist, sir! (suddenly stands up Slank Pucker up, lads ! We'll kiss her any minute now!
with a manly voice) HEY!! Cut the canoodling! I gotta Sailor Scott But she's one of ours! We'll be ra mming a
grab the girl, get it!?! (instantly all flirty again) But do British ship!!
come with. Mack The damn'd orphan boy - he's ruined us!
ALF, MRS. BUMBRAKE, and the cabin are gone. Slank Orphans ruin everything! Hold on to yer ditty bag,
Narrators Aster, Ted, Boy, Scott Wind 55 knots ! boys! Here comes the Wasp!
Strong gale, rolling seas, blowing spray! Narrator Mack Two ships make toward each other,
Narrators Prentiss, Ted, Molly The Neverland crashes tiny craft against the bounding main.
into the waves! A long shot of the open sea. TWO CREWS assemble
Narra tors Stache, Smee Bucking and barreling straight behind two captains, steering two tiny ships and
for the Wasp! two similar trunks toward a moment of reckoning.
STACHE stands at the bow of the Wasp, his STACHE and his PIRATES, with the sand trunk on
PIRATES crouching around the mast. the Wasp, behave like British twits.
42 43
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Ten
Stache Lordy, lordy - just in time for tea. Boy Pretty cheeky, huh?
Pirate Bumbrake Scones from Fortnum's! Molly (delighted by this fellow) Pretty cheeky.
Pirate Aster Devon cream! Prentiss Yeah, awesome- and now there's pirates every
Slank (on the Neverland) We can beat her, boys! She's where! Good move, ace.
only a ship full o' fops! Molly He did something big, Prentiss.
Smee (on the Wasp) Now, Boss? Boy I could do more.
Stache Now! Run up the Jolly Roger! Prentiss Well, I'm still the leader.
A PIRATE replaces the Union Jack with the pirate Molly Then help me get the trunk out of Slank's cabin
flag. The PIRATES abandon their foppishness and and onto the Wasp!
turn instantly vicious. Prentiss Sorry, not our issue.
Slank It's pirates! (to fleeing SAILORS) Come back, ye Molly Never mind, I'll do it myself. Mrs. Bumbrake! Mrs.
cowai-ds!! Bumbrake!
But it's too late. STACHE stands on the decli MOLLY runs out. The door slams.
of the Neverland, behind him a phalanx of Ted (to the BOY) You're different, you know that? (to
PIRATES. PRENTISS) Don't you think h e's different?
Stache Hallo, Neverland. I believe this trunk belongs to Prentiss We should definitely wait here. We'll be safer.
you. And you have something of ours. Boy There's more important things in this world than
Melee! Then, freeze! saving your own neck.
Slank (to himself, edging away) Save yer trunk, Bill. Get Prentiss, Ted Like what?
the trunk to Zarboff and you'll be too posh to push! Boy Like helping Molly.
Melee! Then, freeze! The BOY runs off. A boxing bell rings: DING, DING,
DING!
Narrator Prentiss Wind 67 knots! That's 200 miles
(suddenly self-conscious) Everybody! Narrator Scott And, up on deck, two captains square
off for the greatest of grand prizes!
Narrators THAT'S 200 MILES PER HOUR! LARGE A boxing ring forms around SLANKand STACHE.
WAVES OVER 50 FEET! DISASTER! DESTRUC Boxing Announcer Prentiss Ladies and gentlemen ,
TION! DEVASTATION! thanks for coming out on this stormy night for our
MOLLY finds the BOYS below deck in the bilge featured bout! In this corner, direct from Slough by way
dungeon. of Despond, with the intimacy issues and the claggy
Molly You! Boy! You turned u s around so the Wasp could knickers, it's no mother's son and no ma n's pa l: BILL
catch us! "THE RAT BASTARD" SLANK! (ALL cheer.) And in
this corner, sporting his famous flavor-saver since the
44 45
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Ten
tender age of ten, the -most fearsome pirate on the pike, across the deck, howling. STACHE and SLANK
all hands on deck for THE BLACK STACHE! (SMEE, reenter.
alone, cheers STACHE.) This is a one-round knockout Narrator Stache CRACK! The sound of splintering
match. Kicking, spitting, and gouging is preferred. wood! Flapping canvas whipped by wind!
Hitting below the belt is not required, though the fans N a rrator Slank CRACK! The deck is breaking up! Mast
tend to like it. that was, a mast no more!
All WE LOVE IT!! Narrator Stache The Neverland
Boxing Announcer Prentiss Now sh ak e hands and Narrator Slank - sh e's split in two!
com e out rhyming! Narrator Stache Stem to stern!
A (s)word fight between SLANK and STACHE. Narra tor Sl ank Fore and aft!
Slank Take a hike, y'mingy crumb! The trunk is mine , so Narrators A WHOLE SHIP HALF'D!!
kiss me bum! Two SAILORS split a model of the Neverland in
Stache I'll kiss ya, Bill, with me French -roaster, rolley two. The COMPANY splits and tumbles, half of the
coaster, u pper-cutter flipper-flopper! company with each half of the ship, the churning sea
Slank Which I dodge like so, beh ind-your-backsie, which in between.
needs-a-waxy, by the by! I Sailor Boy Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
Stache Or me God's-anointed, double-jointed, t riple Sailor Smee She's broke in half! Main-brace's gone!
pointed belly-whopper!
Slank Or me on-yer-kneesy, easy-peasy, Java-neesy I MOLLY and MRS. BUMBRAKE struggle with the
Queen's trunk.
battle-cry! Molly We're saving the trunk, and that's all there is to it!
Stache Me dog's dinner!
SLANK appears out of nowhere.
Slank Me shark-shanker!
Sl ank Oi! You really missed the gravy boat, Betty - you
Stache Me winkle-pinner!
and yer sea green eyes.
S l ank Me walk-the-planker!
Mrs. Bumbrake Don't let him s mell your fear, Molly!
St ache "Sh all I compare thee to a summ er's day?" (cold
(to SLANK, outraged on behalf of her eye color) And
cochs SLANK) There h e lies - a jumped-up cabin boy
they're hazel! (calling off urgently) ALF, LEND A
who doesn't know his place. (approaching SLANK
HAND!
lethally) Gimme the Queen's trunk or say yer g'byes,
S lank (pushing MOLLY aside) Outta my way! (grabbing
y' bathtub captain!
the trunk) ALL I WANT'S ME TRUNK!!
STACHE raises his weapon. But - CRACK!!!
SLANK and MRS. BUMBRAKE battle for the trunk.
Lightning strikes the Neverland. EVERYONE
ALF enters and stands up to the boss.
scatters. MOLLY, atop the Queen's trunk, hurtles
46 47
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Ten
Alf Don't ye touch one hair on that woman's legs ! SMEE enters with the trunk full of sand.
Slank She's all yours, lover boy! Smee (airport-style announcement) Check your trunks!
Alf NOW, BETIY! Some trunks may appear identical to other trunks!
MRS. BUMBRAKE grabs the ship's cat and throws Pirate Alf (running past SMEE) Save yerself!
the screeching animal in SLANK's face. SMEE runs off. The BOY runs on. MOLLY, atop the
Narrator Alf Slank gets his cat right in the puss! Queen's trunk on the other half of the Neverland,
ALF tosses S LANK and the cat overboard. spots him.
Alf Down ye go to dinner! Molly Help, Boy! I need more t ime to get the Queen's
Narrator Mack But just before bunking with Davy trunk to my father!
Jones - Boy (sees the sand trunk just sitting there) Don't worry!
Slank (in a watery close-up) 0, the waves swallow m e up, I'll stall the pirates! (sits on the trunk, all innocence, as
a great shroud of sea. And the sharks start nibbling STACHE runs past) Some crazy weather, huh?
away, like me mother's kisses - MOTHER! Ye left me Stache (stops dead, spins) What are you?
on the steps of a tattoo parlor, wrapped in a h alf-eaten Boy What are you?
bag of fish 'n' chips. Round m e neck, a note: "Orphan Stache WHAT AM I?!?
Bill Slank - Too wicked to end well." Pirates BLACK STACHE!!!
Boy Never heard o' you.
The waves cover SLANK forever.
Stache Liar! The Stache is on everyone's lips. (noncha
Narra tor Mack TTFN! lantly) Why, is that the Queen's trunk you're sitting
Alf (hollering overboard) Ye good fer nothing bucket o'
on?
scum! Boy Oh yeah, Queen's trnnk, totally. Molly Aster told me
Mrs. Bumbrake My white knight!!
to protect it.
Molly Now, let's get moving!
Stache From who?
ASTER appears on the Wasp, holding his amulet, Boy Pirates like you.
telepathing. Stache But we have all th e fun!
Aster Molly! Molly, I'm locked in the broom cabin! Boy You do?
Molly (holds her amulet, triumphant) DADDY, THE Stache Abso-loony. A little swash, a bit o' buckle -you'd
TRUNK IS OURS! love it more than bread! Now, give u s the trunk and
Aster BRING IT TO ME!! join the party ... er ... appellation, please. (off the
On the other half of the Neverland. BOY's blank face) Yer name, bub.
Pirate Slank Abandon ship! Boy No name. Orph an.
Pirate Alf Aban don ship!
48 49
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scen e Ten
Stache (affecting pity) You're more at sea than Colum Molly Not again! The boy's gone overboard!!
bus, boy. If you were a· pirate, you'd have a proper Aster Molly, bring me the trunk!
name. Peter Help! I can't swim!
Boy You could do that? Molly But Daddy, the boy needs help!
Stache I'm the boss, ain't I? How about Bluebeard Bob? Aster Molly, this is a direct order! BRING THE TRUNK
(nixes this) Long John Larry? (a thought) Oooh! We TOME!
hung a bloke from th e yardarm week ago Wednesday Molly This trunk floats, boy!
Pirate Pete. That's available. Peter My name's Peter!
Boy Pirate Pete . . . Molly Peter! I like it!
Stache Good solid name is Peter, like a rock. That's what Peter Me too!
you'll be, boy, my rock. Now, gimme the trunk. Molly Ther e's an island, Peter! Ride the trunk to the
Boy (hereafter called PETER) P eter. Yeah. I like that. island!
Stache Iconic as the moonwa lk in a Michael J ack son MOLLY pushes the Queen's trunk overboard.
video. Now, gimme the trunk. Aster Molly, no!!!
Peter And what would I do? Tempest-tossed by the terrible storm, everyone
Stache You'd star in my nasty crew. Infamy! Calamity! prepares to abandon ship.
Fraternity! You need to connect, boy.
All (singing)
Peter Peter.
CRACK AND RIP AND CRACK AGAIN!
Stache You need to connect, P et er . No man is an
SOAKED BY SEA AND SOAKED BY RAIN!
archipelago. Now, be a good Peter and give your
SOON, WE PRAY, THE STORM BE DONE,
captain his GREAT BIG TREASURE!! (throws PETER
AND WHEN IT'S DONE,
off the trunk and flings it open.I) Sand again!
PRAY YOU SEE THE SUN!
Peter You blew it, Stache! The Queen's trunk's safe on
From out of the sea-spray, ALF clings to MRS.
the Wasp! (calling off) We saved the treasure, Molly!!
We saved the world!!! BUMBRAKE.
Stache You're killing my buzz, boy- to which I say die! Alf
GRAB A SPAR, MRS. BUMBRAKE, GRAB A SPAR!
STACHE throws PETER overboard.
Mrs. Bumbrake
Peter Not again!
WHAT'S A SPAR?
PETER falls into the sea and bobs on one side of
Alf
the stage. Across, ASTER appears on the Wasp. THIS IS NO TIME TO ARGUE,
In between, MOLLY stands on the Queen's trunk AND WE CAN'T STAY WHERE WE ARE!
aboard what's left of the Neverland.
50 51
•
Peter and the Starcatcher Act One: Scene Ten
52 53
Peter and the Starcatcher
All
through.
Act Tvvo
SWIM ON AGAINST THE CURRENT.
SWIM ON AGAINST THE SEA,
THO' THE TIDE MAY TURN AGAINST YOU,
THO' TOO STRONG THE TIDE MAY BE. PROLOGUE
AND THO' YOUR ARMS BE LEADEN
SLICING THROUGH THE SPRAY AND FOAM, Mollusk Island- Shore
SWIM ON, SWIM ON,
SWIM ON, SWIM ON. A fetching mob of MERMAIDS enters in front of the
SWIM ON AGAINST THE CURRENT curtain to celebrate their encounter with starstuff.
'TIL YOUR COURAGE BRINGS YOU HOME, Mermaid Stache (singing)
'TIL YOU STAND YOU'RE LIKELY WOND'RING
ON THE LAND WHAT WE'VE HAD TO DRINK NOW.
SAFELY HOME! AND YOU MIGHT THINK, "NOW,
PETER, now jubilant atop the trunh, sails toward THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR."
the green island. BLACKOUT. BUT SOMETHING WE SHOULD
NOT HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO
END OF ACT ONE. WE GOT TOO CLOSE TO
BY SWIMMING AFT
OF PETER'S RAFT,
AND HERE WE ARE.
54 55
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Prologue
HUMAN-STYLE. All
BECAUSE OF STARSTUFF I'M WILD AND FREE!
WE SMILE. Mermaid Molly
All MY FINGERS TINGLED
AND IT WAS S TARS TUFF AND MY HEART STARTED REELING
FROM ABOVE. All
Mermaid Stache I LOVE HOW STARSTUFF
IT GAVE US NECKS. (MM-MM)
IT GA VE US PEGS. Mermaid Molly
WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? 'TIL STARSTUFF MADE MY T UNA MELT!
All All
OH, HOW WE TINGLE, IT MADE A MERMAID GUTTA ME!
AND EV'RY DAY'S SPRING. IT WAS THE STARSTUFF
BECAUSE OF STARSTUFF Mermaid Scott
WE SING. AND OH WHAT A GLOW
OH YES, IT'S S TARS T UFF AS YOUR FINS START A-GROWING SOME MORE.
Mermaid Alf All
I WAS A FLOUNDER, YESSIR! THAT DISSOLVED.
All Mermaid Smee
WE ADORE. GO WITH THE FLOW
Mermaid Ted AS THE GLOW GETS YA GOIN' SOME MORE.
ANDLASMELT. All
All YOU GET A THRILL,
I GOT ABUZZ. Mermaid Alf
OH, WHAT IT DOES! SOON YOU'RE BREATHIN' AIR.
I WANT SOME MORE! All
Mermaid Molly YOU LOSE A GILL,
I WAS A YELLOWTAIL TUNA 'TIL I FELT Mermaid Stache
All SOON YOU'RE GROWING HAIR.
I'M ALL WARM AND FUZZY All
Mermaid Molly YOUR PROBLEM'S SOLVED.
A WARM AND FUZZY FEELING
56 57
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene One
Mermaid Aster
SOON IT'S LONG AND.CURLY.
Mermaids Prentiss, Bumbrake
SOON YOU'RE ACTING GIRLY.
SCENE ONE
Mermaid Group Mountaintop, Mollusk Island
EACHARROWTOOTHANDAHL
EACH MANLY MAHI-MAHI, A sense of enormous space, clear sliies, bright
All sun, clean air. PETER is asleep on the Queen's
ARE NOW THE COOLEST CREATURES IN THE SEA. tnmli.
HOO-WEE! Peter (dreaming) That you, Molly? I'm coming! Wait
TO THE SURF ADD THE TURF for m e! (boll s upright, awake) Molly, wait! (realizes,
FOR THE STARSTUFF MADE A MERMAID GUTTA ME. alarmed) No, not s'posed to sleep ! S'posed to be
MERMAIDS ARE WEI guarding the trunk, not - What if she came and
Dance breali. (stands on trunk and searches horizon) I DID WHAT
AND EACH OF US WERE MADE, YOU SAID, MOL - dragged it right up a mountain!
EACH HIM AND HER MADE, (silence) Nope, no Molly. (blinded by the glare) So ...
INTOA brigh t. Holy - Know what that is? That mus t be the
Mermaid Stache sun! I'm feeling you, sun! (realizing how much he can
MERMAID! see) And ch eck - it - out!! Space. Light. Air. I'm finally
All (except MERMAID STACHE) FREE! (Echo of FREE, FREE, FREE. This delights
BREAK THE OLDEST OF NATURE'S LAWS! him.) And I'm gonna have . .. freedoms! Whatever I
WE'LL NEVER BE FISH AGAIN BECAUSE want. (A yellow bird enters suddenly and alights on his
All shoulder!) Whoa. Hey bird, wassup? Me? Well, let's
STARSTUFF see ... Saved the world. Got a name. Not too sha bby.
MADE A MERMAID GUTTA MEI I just - I woncle1· if Teddy and Prentiss made it off the
MADE A MERMAID GUTTA MEI ship before it sank. I mean, how weird would it be if
MADE A MERMAID GUTTA MEI they - (a chill up his spine, looks up) Please let them be
IT MAKES YOU WHAT YOU WANNA BE! okay. (scared now, a lost boy) Bird, we should m ake a
SHOOP! pact. I don't leave you , you don't leave me. Deal? (The
The MERMAIDS exit, alluringly. bird fli es off.) No! Come back! I don't wanna be alone!
COME BACK! (Echo ofBACK, BACK, BACK. This leaves
him desolate, but he tries to rally.) Hey, fine. No Molly,
58 59
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene One
no Teddy, no Prentiss ... so what? This is perfect. Wasp. Or maybe she's floating on what's left of the
Nobody's after me with · a stick. Nothing between me Neverland
and the sky. I can just be a boy for a while. It's all I Split scene: MRS. BUMBRAKE and ALF, adrift on
want anyway. (giving in to the lost feeling) I gotta get Neverland flotsam.
outta here! Mrs. Bumbrake Ride this wreckage, Romeo! Get us to
TED staggers on. shore and make it fast!
Ted Sorry, did you wanna be alone? Alf You want speed? Find me a sail!
Peter No! Stay with me. Mrs. Bumbrake We'll end up in China drifting like this.
Ted Good answer. And I'm in no mood for moo shoo, Alf! Tried it once
Peter (to heaven) Thank you! went through m e like the winter wind in Wessex!
PRENTISS appears. ALF and MRS. B UMBRAKE float off.
Pre ntiss You ready for this? Teddy floats! We jumped Peter (looking down the mountain) Or maybe Molly's
overboard and I held on to Teddy, and the two of us down there, in th e jungle.
bobbed all the way here! Jungle noises threaten. The BOYS consider this.
Peter Prentiss! Prentiss I say we wait for her up h ere.
Prentiss No-name! Peter (summoning his courage) C'mon! Help me hide the
Peter I got one now. It's Peter. trunk, and we'll find some branches down the beach.
Ted Solid. Ted At some point we're gonna need food.
Prentiss Whatever.
PETER and PRENTISS hide the trunk.
PETER stands atop the trunk and has a good look
Peter Branches. What we need are branches.
around.
Ted (spies a pineapple) Hey, I think I found some - (sniffs
Peter Look, the Wasp! Way out there, you see it? It's still it) Sweet! (tries to bite into it) Ow!
in one piece. Prentiss Branches, branches ... guy's got a jones for
Prentiss Oh no - I see where this is going. branches
Ted Where's Mother? Peter To build a raft, you know, so we can float out to
Prentiss For the love of - her name is Molly! And she the Wasp. We get to the Wasp, Molly's father'll have
probably drowned. to take u s.
TED is instantly bereft. PETER instinctively Prentiss Where?
comforts him. Peter Home. (offers his hand) C'mon - everybody holds
Peter No! She dove off the ship as it went down. She's hands and nobody gets lost. Clear?
like a real swimmer. I think maybe she made it to the Ted Crystal. (to PRENTISS) Ew. Your hand's all sweaty.
60 61
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Two
Prentiss Yeah, 'cuz perspiration's the mark of true Ted I'm scared, Peter!
leadership. Mollusks CANNOLI!
The sunlight disappears as the BOYS head down Prentiss I can't see a thing!
into the dark jungle. Mollusks GNOCCHI!
Ted Help! Gorillas!
Stache Oh, hello!
Peter Who was that?
SCENE TWO Fighting Prawn CANNELLONI!
Jungle Mollusks CHIANTI!
Smee It's Smee, sir!
Fighting Prawn LINGUINI!
The BOYS cling to each other as they enter the heart
Mollusks VINO ROSSO! MONTEPULCIANO!
of darlmess.
Stache Hot enough for ya?
Peter Are we good?
Ted (re: the pineapple) How do you eat this?
Ted, Prentiss Yes!
Mollusks TOCAI E DOLCETTO!
Ted You there, Peter?
Stache There! Footprints!
Peter Here! You there, Ted?
Prentiss Something's chasing me!
Ted Present!
Fighting Prawn MONTEPULCIANO!
Peter You there, Prentiss? (Nothing.) Prentiss? You
Mollusks MONTEPULCIANO!
there? (Nothing.) Teddy, you holding on to Prentiss?
Peter Who's that? What th e - ?
(Nothing.) Teddy? (realizing his hand is empty) Guys?
Fighting Prawn CHIANTI!
Where is everybody??
Stache I'm right behind you!
And suddenly, they're separated, lost deep in the Mollusks LINGUINI!
jungle! A tribal chant begins as strange faces Stache And I want that trunk!
appear and disappear from behind giant foliage. Smee D'ya want some tea?
Mollusks VINO BIANCO! TREBBIANO! • Mollusks LINGUINI!
MOSCA'!'! PINOT GRIGIO! Stache And a biscuit, Smee!
Prentiss You said hang on to each other, Peter! Ted Help, I'm hungry!
Mollusks GNOCCHI! Prentiss Help, I'm lost!
Ted Where are you, Peter? Stache I'm gonna find you!
Mollusks CANNOLI! Mollusks CHIANTI!
Peter I'm here, Ted! Peter I'll find you, Ted! Keep heading down!
Mollusks GNOCCHI! Stache I'm sweating, Smee!
62 63
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Three
I
TOCAI E DOLCETTO!
FIGHTING PRAWN, King of the Mollusks, reveals chant.)
My son shall wear this hat once worn
himself. He wears a British top hat with a green
feather in the band. By my brutal British master.
For years, I was his kit chen slave.
Fighting Prawn PRIMI PRANZO - DOPO GABIN
He beat me raw, but I was brave
ETTO! (realizing the BOYS don't understand) Hallo. I
And one day put him in his grave
am King of this island, and you boys are my prisoners.
With a plate of poisoned pasta!
("Seize them!") LASAGNA!
The MOLLUSKS appreciate the ritual.
The MOLLUSKS raise a great hue and cry as they
Fighting Prawn Thank you.
surround the BOYS with spears.
Hawking Clam Come, it is time.
Prentiss Time?
64 65
Peter and the S tarcatcher Act Two: Scene Three
Fighting Prawn Feeding time. Fighting Prawn Bring me the holy relic of my captivity!
Ted Feeding time, finally! Hawking Clam Here, Mighty Father. The kitchen
Hawking Clam Not where you eat, piggy boy. Where you timer.
are eaten. HAWKING CLAM hands over the timer. FIGHTING
Fighting Prawn You must answer to the law: The Law PRAWN winds it.
of Mister Grin. Fighting Prawn One minute, starting ... NOW!
Prentiss Who's Mister Grin? We hear a Jeopardy-like tick-tock under the boys'
Hawking Clam We worship him, and he protects us presentation:
from foreign troublemakers .
Prentiss Um ... One at a time
Fighting Prawn Come, we feed you now to vicious
Ted (remembering MOLLY) Once upon a time - that's
crocodile.
how they always s tart! Upon a time, upon a time!!
A terrible roar from off! The BOYS are terrified! Fighting Prawn Tick- tock, tick-tock . .. hungry, Mister
Peter WAIT!!! Please don't feed us to any crocodile. Grin?
First - first take us to Mister Grin. Mister Grin roars!
Fighting Prawn Crocodile is Mister Grin. ("Take them!")
Prentiss Okay, okay! Once upon a time, there was a
PASTA!
beautiful baby Princess (cries) Waaah!
Peter (urgently) Wait! We can give you great gift!
Fighting Prawn ("Release them!") ANTI-PASTA! (to One of the MOLLUSKS pohes TED, scaring him into
PETER) You said "gift"? action.
Peter A story - yeah , we'll give you a bedtime story. Ted And an evil witch with a curse: A-ha-ha!
Sleeping Beauty. Right, guys? Prentiss Waaah!
Ted Sleeping Beauty, yeah. The thing is, I nodded off Ted A-ha-ha!
before the end. PETER slaps PRENTISS - move it along!
Peter (sotto voce to TED) Maybe they will too, and we can Prentiss Waaah!
get outta here! (to FIGHTING PRAWN) We give you Ted A-ha-ha!
story, you let us live, and we leave your island. Deal? PRENTISS smacks TED. They start to smack each
Fighting Prawn Okeydokey. But ifI am not entertained, other. PETER interrupts with:
it's Mister Grin for all of you! ! Assume the position! Peter And the curse was very terrible, for every time the
(The MOLLUSKS sit.) You have one minute! baby cried
Ted (stricken) One minute? What' m I supposed to do Prentiss Waaah!
in one minute? I can't transform, I can't inhabit the Peter - the whole kingdom would fall asleep!
character
PETER snores grossly then conducts the following:
66 67
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Three
69
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Four
Fighting Prawn You called her "Molly"! the boys are sitting on - they feel like bones. All in all,
Molly Well, it's my name. Molly. (The MOLLUSKS gig it's a bad day to be British .
gle.) What? MOLLY and the BOYS cower and huddle. TED
Fighting Prawn In our language, "Molly" means squid clings to his pineapple. From an adjacent enclosure,
poop. Mister Grin roars!
The MOLLUSKS howl with laughter. Prentiss Teddy, I hope that was your stomach.
Hawking Clam WAIT! (getting back to the ma tter at Ted I wanna go home.
hand) Entertained, Mighty Father? Pre ntiss What home?
FIGHTING PRAWN hands the kitchen timer to Peter H e made a deal with us, and he lied, just like they
PRENTISS. always do. I hate grown-ups!
Fighting Prawn First prize - you got me with squid Ted Do something, Prentiss! You 're the leader! Have a
poop. 1'wo thumbs up! Two thumbs way up! plan!
Peter So you le t us live, right? Tha t was the deal. Prentiss (grabs the timer and shouts to Mister Grin) Eat
Prentiss (finishing the thought to close the deal) Which is the kitchen timer and leave u s a lone!!
so great, see, 'cuz you need us! We can do a ll the things PRENTISS throws the kitchen timer deep into the
you guys don't wanna do anymore. We're foreigners cage. Mister Grin roars! A chomping sound, then
that's what we're for! "tich-tock, tick-tock . .. " PRENTISS collapses in tears.
Fighting Prawn Nice try. But, th e law is the law! All Ted Great, now we can count the seconds 'til we die.
English mus t die! ("Kill them!'') CALAMARI! Peter (building to a tantrum) This is all your fault, Molly.
The MOLLUSKS point their spears at MOLLY and Makin' me feel like t his big man who's gonna save
the world! Well, I'm not a big ma n, and I can't save
the BOYS.
- anything!
Molly Not a good time for a hissy, Peter. You failed, so
you try again. My father always says th a t.
SCENE FOUR Peter THEN LET HIM SAVE US!
Mister Grin 's Cage Mister Grin roars! The BOYS cringe.
Molly Should've given the trunk to my father. Then h e'd
Narra tor Aster Such life and death decisions are gen have all th e star stuff and - (remembers her amulet)
erally made by the English, not for the English. Worse Molly, you idiot!
yet, the walls of Mister Grin's cage are very high. Too Prentiss Sh e's cracking up.
high for any boy or girl to climb. Too dark to see t he Ted No, maybe she h as a plan.
crocodile in front of your face. And those hard things Molly I do! I h ave a plan!
70 71
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Four
72 73
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Six
74 75
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Seven
Prentiss Blinking fierC'e ! Peter And the running you're really fast. Better than
From out on the Wasp, ASTER signals MOLLY. me.
Molly It's Father! Father oh, good! He's signaling me Molly Well, you're a better leader.
all the way from the Wasp!! Peter Really?
Ted What's it mean? Molly No. (laughs, then) C'mon, take me to the trunk!
Molly He's using Norse Code! It's Norse Code, everyone! Mollusks (from off) BUTTERFLY AND DEEP FAT FRY!
PRENTISS starts laughing. BUTTERFLY AND DEEP FAT FRY!!
Prentiss Um sorry I think you mean Morse Code. Molly The Mollusks!
Molly (not amused) Not Morse Code. Norse Code! From Ted, Prentiss The Mollusks!!
Norway. The ancient Viking signaling system. Mollusks (from off) THE MOLLUSKS!!!
Prentiss That's ridiculous. Molly We'll have to outrun them!
Peter What's he saying? Peter Take the guys with you! I'll get the Mollusks to
Molly Unless 1 miss my guess. he's saying, "Marla bella follow me!
furna seena heina f uma." And then h e says,"Un, gettsie Ted Hear that, Prentiss? That's the sound of a leader!
Molly doozee blingen." That's: "First, take Molly to th e TED and PRENTISS run for their lives.
trunk." "Coom heller high water." That's: "Remember Molly I'm not leaving you!
the mission." Peter Afraid I'll beat you to the top?
Peter Very convenient. Molly As if! (runs off, then returns) Bravo, Peter.
Molly "Un gettsie blingen doozee plaldien." That's: "Take MOLLY runs offagain. PETER is exultant at having
the trunk down to the beach." "Marla bella furna" pleased her. He waves his arms to attract attention.
"Fath er'll be there with the longboat." "Seena heina Peter H ere I am, Mollusk s! Come and get me!
furna" "We'll be" "heina furna" um, "safe, if we can
just get past the pirates and make it to the beach."
"Den tooren inder flanleen essen, neclwn f reslw tudor!
Nayben nay benessa, nay benanlw, binla rubalenha SCENE SEVEN
sinhin-hookin heep de nwtor cookin, anha Danhe,
Up the Mountain
Papa." "Love, Daddy."
MOLLY takes a proud, deep breath of linguistic
PETER begins running. The MOLLUSKS chase
expertise.
him, thirsty for blood!
Prentiss Women are tricky, man.
Narrator Fighting Prawn Bounding through the
Peter I feel kinda stupid not knowing Norwegian .
jungle and up the mountain, Peter's thoughts are only
Molly It isn't a contest. Though , if it were, I'd win.
-
of outrunning the natives.
76 77
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Eight
Peter Ti·y'n catch me, Fighting Prawn! Narrator Scott - crooking her finger and winking her
Narrator Stache And th·e faster he runs, the further eye, and Peter falling for her big time.
h e gets- Narrator Alf And rushing up to meet him
Narrator Aster - from the terrible beatings Narrator Peter - is a solid sheet of glass!
Narrator Prentiss - the boarded-up garrets - Narrators SPLASH!
Narra tor Peter - the smell and the filth and the dark PETER splash-lands in a pool ofgolden water.
of the cave! Narrator Scott His brutal fall is broken
Narrator Smee And the further h e runs, th e more th at Narrator Aster - and not his neck
he s miles Narrator Ted - and not by glass at all
Narrator Fighting Prawn -from saving t h e others Narrator Fighting Prawn - but by a shimmering lake
Narrator Stache - and being a leader of golden water , far, far underground.
Narrator Molly - 'til, panting and jumping and practic Narrator Aster He should've been drowning, should've
a lly flying, P eter feels something entirely new! been a fraid, but he was n either drowning nor afraid.
Freeze the chase! Pe ter bobbed to th e surface, safe as you please, and
Peter Alive! began to get his bearings.
Unfreeze the chase! Narrator Stache And th e water was thick like oil,
Narrator Aster And all of a sudden, s urrounding his and full of light, too - and warm, like a rich man's
h ead ba th .
Narrator Prentiss And looking down fondly at Peter
The yellow bird appears among a {loch of yellow
was
birds and flits around PETER's head as he runs.
Peter - a mermaid!
Peter (swatting) Get outta my face, bird. I can't see where
I'm going!
Narrator Molly And that's when h e mi sses a ledge and
falls! SCENE EIGHT
Peter MOLLY ... !
Grotto
Narrator Scott And down and down h e bumps and
bruises
Perched on a rochy ledge above the water, a grand
Narrator Fighting Prawn - leaving the na tives with
no one to chase. dame of a MERMAID looks down at PETER.
Narrator Hawking Clam Banging and buffeting I Teacher Well, well ... nice of you to drop in. I'm
Narrator Prentiss - down a deep cr evice, as gravity Teacher - that's what I'm called. And yes, I speak
beckons
78 79
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Eight
English. I know your name is Peter. I know a lot of Peter And find a family.
things. Teach er In which case, you're going to need something.
Peter Where am I? A name.
Teach e r In a hurry. Peter Instead of Peter?
Peter That's right ... I was running away from Teacher In addition to. A family na me. (calling to the
Teach er The Mollus k natives. grotto) And we've come up with a good one, h aven't
Peter They're trying to kill u s! And we just wanna get we?
home! Narra tor Alf And in the grotto, or in t he water, or both
Teacher Yeah, life is complicated. an echo, or a voice or both, seem ed to answer:
Peter I was gonna build a raft to get to th e Wasp , bui Narrators (as echo, gently) PAN.
Molly's fath er is Teacher What ar e you, boy?
Teacher You don't need a raft to get home, and you don't Peter I'm Peter.
need the Wasp. All you need is starstuff. Narrators (as echo, louder) PAN.
Peter How'd you know about - ? Peter (disappointed) Pan? You mean like in the kitchen?
Teacher Listen to Teacher. When you rode the trunk to Teacher You are just too cute. I mean two things,
this island, seawater seeped inside. Then the star s tuff actually. First is fun and frolic - anaTchy, mischief, all
in the trunk enchan ted the water. Then t he water the things a boy likes to
ench anted the fish in t he wake of the trunk. Then the Peter (he's down with that) Fun! Okay! I'm Peter Pan.
waves Teach er There. You're changing already.
Pet er But how'd you know about - ? Peter You said Pan means two things. What's the second
T each er I'm not finished. Th en the waves washed the t hing?
water right into this grotto, wh ere I was swimmin'. Teacher Shouldn't you be on your way? Molly's going to
Peter So you u sed to be a fish? bea t you to th at trunk.
Teach er Scotch salmon . This is way cooler , FYI. Narrator s MOLLY!
(pointedly) 1.' h e starstuffll change you, too. It makes Peter (quichly out from the golden pool of water~ THE
you what you wa nt to be. TRUNK!
Peter But I just wanna be a boy for a while. Couldn't I PETER dashes· off. Thunder! Lightning! Mean
just be a boy? while . . .
Teach er Well, I suppose .. . once you sit in the star stuff
Peter Yeah , then what?
Teach er Sky's t he limit. You could even fly yourself home
maybe, just like you dreamed.
80 81
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Nine
82 83
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Nine
Narrator Aster - and you still have to reach the beach ! about that, uh - you know - about that thing you
MOLLY is revealed guarding the trunk. PRENTISS did
and TED are sound asleep on the jungle floor. Molly Wha t thing?
Molly I said forget about sleep! Teddy! Peter The kiss, okay? The kiss.
Suddenly ... PETER! Molly Wha t kiss?
Peter The kiss! The one you gave me!
Peter He's spark out.
Molly Oh, the kiss.
Molly (startled) Peter! Oh, Peter! I thought
Peter "Wh at kiss," she says.
MOLLY throws her arms around PETER's neck. Molly Well, what abou t it?
They're ecstatic, reunited, lil<-e kids. Peter Nobody's ever wa nted to kiss me, th at's all
Peter The most incredible thing - you won't believe - I Molly Want to? J didn't wa nt to, we wer e abou t to be
met this eaten alive and
PETER and MOLLY stop, embarrassed. Pet e r I mean, I was just sitting there and you grabbed
Molly Right. Well. Good to see you, Peter. Shall we wake me
the boys? Molly Oh for h eaven's sake, such a fuss! Didn't you
Peter Been kind of a long day. Leave 'em be. like it?
Molly Just us then. Peter No, it was
Peter Yeah. Just us. (jiggles the trunk 's lock) We Molly (standing, upset) You didn't like it . You didn't like
should open th e trunk - make sUTe the starstuffs it, and now you're telling me you didn't like it!
okay. Unbelievable.
Molly Oh no, that's not, no Peter I'm not saying I didn't like it
Peter I wanna sit in the starstuff Ted (drea m ing) Mmm ... pork.
Molly Very dangerous- exposure to so much of it. Molly (heep ing her voice down so as not to wake TED) Then
Peter I don 't care! what're you saying?
Molly Well, I do! I was so worried. We waited and waited. Peter I'm guess I'm saying - I guess I'm asking
I told them you'd come. We waited - (darker, sitting on Molly You stop that right now. I won't answer an y such
the ground) and then the rain and the dark and I was question. You'r e inclining toward the sentimental a nd
so worried that's a ll well and good for a boy, but the fact is
Peter (leaning in) I'm her e. (sits next to MOLLY) Do you Peter Inclining towa rd wh a t?
think I've cha nged? Molly - we girls can't afford to be sentimental. We must
Molly You'r e dirtier. instead be strong. (lifts herself to sit atop the trunk) And
Peter So, I've been meaning to a sk you about th e, um ... when I marry, my h usba nd will h ave to
84 85
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
Peter MARRY? Whoa, y6u thought I was asking you to It is now morning. TED sits up, shielding his eyes
Molly Not you , you swot. Uch, the ego. (starting again) from the dawn's glare.
And when I marry, I shall make it very clear to this Ted Is that the sun? What's for breakfast? (licks the
person - that sentimentality is not on the calendar. He pineapple) Ow!
will have to lump it or leave it. And if he should leave, Narrator Alf Did he say the sun? But if you can see the
I'll stay a spinster and pin my hair back and volunteer sun coming up
weekends at hospital. And I will love words for their Narrator Bumbrake If you can see the sky at all
own sake, like "hyacinth" and "Piccadilly" and "onyx." Molly We must be very n ear the beach! C'mon, boys! We
And I'll have a good old dog, and think what I like, and made it !
be part of a different sort of family, with friends, you The strumming of a ukulele is heard, as MOLLY,
know? - who understand th at things are only worth PRENTISS, and TED push the trunk to the beach.
what you're willing to give up for them. (then) Even if
l - in t he face of death, I may have - you know
Peter (sits next to MOLLY) Wanted to?
Molly I didn't say that. SCENE TEN
Peter (gently, sweetly, holds MOLLY's hand) Got it.
Beach
Molly Good.
Peter (absorbing) Wow.
The sun is coming up over the horizon, revealing
A moment. They suddenly seem older. MOLLY stifles
jagged debris from the wrech of the Neverland,
a yawn.
including a piece of the ship's bow. A lone mermaid,
Molly (giving in to exhaustion) You know, I might just who has seen better days (SMEE in disguise), plays
now you're h ere - rest my eyes for a little a siren song on her uhulele.
MOLLY hops off the trunli and curls up in front of Mermaid/Smee (singing)
the lock. Instantly, she's asleep. Gingerly, PETER COME TO ME, YE S HIPWRECKED SAILORS.
tries to jiggle the lock open. The noise disturbs LOOKEE HERE, YE WAVE-TOSSED WHALERS.
PRENTISS. OOH AH! OOH AH!
Prentiss (dreaming) No, Molly, no! The leader has to be SAILOR BOY, KEEP SAILING NEAR ME.
a-! CLOSER NOW, SO'S YOU CAN HEAR ME.
PRENTISS awahens. PETER's moment has passed, AS YER SHIP BREAKS TO BITS,
and he runs off. FROM YER DECK, FOR A SEC,
Molly (rubs her eyes) Where's P eter ? YOU CAN SEE MY LOVELY
Prentiss The Mollusks got him, remember?
86 87
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
88 89
I
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
Fighting Prawn (from off) And there's more of us than STACHE grabs FIGHTING PRAWN from behind,
anybody! ("Surrender!'} PROSCIUTTO! holding his straight razor at the king's throat.
FIGHTING PRAWN enters with the MOLLUSKS Stache "Happily ever after" my kebab knife! (to MOLLY)
and their prisoners: ASTER and SCOTT, bound and You, kitty cat! Bring the trunk here or I cut the
gagged. savage's throat.
Molly Daddy! Captain Scott! Not you, too! Molly (trapped in a moral dilemma) That's a terrible choice
Fighting Prawn (to MOLLY) NO ENGLISH MOVE! - I have a sacred duty!
Amid the distraction, STACHE hides behind the Stache Take yer time. I'll count to three - THREE!
other prisoners. MRS. BUMBRAKE gets a good look Echo (Peter) THREE ... Three ... three ...
at FIGHTING PRAWN. Stache What's that? An ECHO?
Echo (Peter) ECHO ... Echo ... echo ...
Mrs. Bumbrake Prawnie - ? Prawnie, is that you?
Stache Excellent effect! The Stache is CUNNING !
Fighting Prawn Betty?
Echo (Peter) CUNNING ... Cunning ...
Mrs. Bumbrake (as the servant she once was) "The
Stache The Stache is BEGUILING!
mistress wants more of your manicotti."
Echo (Peter) GUILING ... Guiling ...
Fighting Prawn (as the servant he once was) "And a
Stache The Stache is SUPREME!
pasta fazool - "
Peter I DON'T THINK SO!
Mrs. Bumbrake " - to make you drool!"
Fighting Prawn Betty Bumbrake, it's you! (to assembled STACHE is flummoxed. PETER leaps into view,
PRISONERS) This woman only English kind to me holding a branch as a weapon.
when I was kitchen slave! Stache You.
HAWKING CLAM pushes ASTER forward. Peter Me.
Stache Peter.
Mrs. Bumbrake Be a prince, Prawnie, and let Lord
Peter Pan!
Aster loose.
Prentiss He's alive!
Fighting Prawn You are English, so I'll choose my
Ted We're saved!
words carefully. No.
Molly (shouting instructions) Thrust and parry, Peter!
Mrs. Bumbrake But Prawnie
Attaque coule ! Balestra !
Fighting Prawn You English invade our island, now
Nature's Laws are all focaccia! STACHE hands off FIGHTING PRAWN to SMEE.
Molly Because of th e contents of this trunk, Your High PETER thrusts. STACHE easily parries and sends
ness. Release my father, and we'll take the trunk off PETER sprawling.
th e island. Nature restored. Mollusks live happily ever Stache And so we arrive in the belly of the beast.
after!
90 91
I
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
STACHE holds his razor at PETER's throat, about Stache Are we quite done with the hugging and learning?
to stril~e. Peter Decision. (pushes trunk to STACHE) It's a better
Peter Teddy, throw it! world with you in it, Molly. (to STACHE) Now, let her
Ted Yo! Think fast! (throws his pineapple at S TACHE, go.
who defends himself by slashing the fruit in two pieces!) Stach e (moued, deeply) 'Dja note that, Smee? 'Dja see it?
Really, after all that? (STACHE instantly gets TED in a Genuine heroic sacrifice.
headlock.) P1·entiss, PRENTISS!!! Smee (sarcastic) Inspiring, Cap'n. I've got gooseftesh all
Prentiss (rushes STACHE) WHAT AM I DOING?? over.
Omigod please don't hurt me, I'm jus t a little kid! I'm Stache Poor Smee. How fiat and unprofitable the world
noL responsible!! (bursts into tears) must seem from the deck of t he HMS Cynic. (inspired,
Stache (to TED) Is h e cryin g? Seriously? (PRENTISS handing MOLLY to PETER) Go, lad. Take yer precious
l(rabs STACIJE's arm and bites his hand.) i\aaargh! lady and live another day.
Me hand! (STACHE drops the razor and uets PRENTJSS Molly (bereft) My first mission, and I've wrecked it!
in a headlock MOLLY picks up Stache's razor.) Stache (tossing key to SMEE) Now, open it, Smee. Open ,
Next? and elaborate.
Molly (assuming the "praying mantis" martial arts position) Smee (opens the trunk elaborately, then stops cold) It's
Aaaaiiiiiieeeeee-hunh! it's -
Stache (pointing somewhere) Oh, looky-loo! A baby Stache "It's"? I don't like "It's." Bollocks to "It's." (pushes
koa la! SMEE away and looks inside the trunk, a beat) Do we
Molly (falling for it) A koala? Oh they're just so a dora detect a pattern here? Help me, the linguists among
(STA CHE swipes his razor from MOLLY and gels her in you, what's the turn of phrase?
a headloch.) Unfair! Smee Empty, Cap'n. The trunk's empty.
Stache (in MOLLY's ear) Say yer good-byes, m'dear Stach e So it is. (through gritted teeth) Clean as the sheets
Peter Wi\IT! Don't you want the trunk? in a convent.
Molly Peter, don't! Peter (runs to see) Empty, it can't be empty!
Peter (to PRENTISS and TED) Are you with me, guys? Molly You mean all this time -
Ted Gotta save Mother. Stache, Peter WHERE'S MY TREASURE!!
Prentiss She's more important than some trunk. Molly The seawater got in. It must have dissolved -
Peter Even if I never get home. Stache Moose nuggets! Gold and diamonds don't
The BOYS hug in sympathy and understanding, DISSOLVE!
friends. Molly But starstuff does. Is that right, Daddy?
92 93
I
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
Aster (incoherent due to the gag in his mouth) Well actually, Smee Girl.
the molecular framework of star stuff begins to break Stache Girrrrrrl. And t h at was majestic! You've piqued
down when it - the poet in me, Pan. What say we merge a forger?
Stache (not quite hearing) Starbucks? Starbucks? What's Smee Forge a merger.
Starbucks?? Stache THANK YOU, SMEE! (to PETER) Picture it,
Molly Doesn't mat ter now. Nobody gets his hands on it Pete. The ultimate pirate and his worthy opponent.
Peter Nobody get s wh at he wants. Peter Molly fights better than m e.
Stach e (pushes PETER away from the trunh) Enough of Molly I run faster too.
thi.s non-versation! (to ASTER) See, t his is why I hate, I Stache And I bet your milkshake brings all the boys to
h ate, I HATE - ! (slams the trunk in a fury, forgetting his t he yard! But I'm not interested. (to PETER) Consider
right hand resting on I.he edge; agony! as he processes the the possibilities. Foes forever. Adversaries ad
pain of having cu/; off his own hand) Omigod. Omigod. neverendum. I'm talking books, movies, Broadway -
Omigod. (a few more, perhaps, and then) Omigod. Peter But you just tried to kill me
Um - wait - Stache Don't you get it, Peter? You're my hero!
Smee (runs to STACHE) Sir? Peter Me?
Stache (through the excruciating pain) And you are - ? Stache You're the ying to me yang. The semi to me colon.
Smee Smee, sir - your righ t-hand man. Dammit, Boy, you're the wind beneath my clipped
Stache Not anymore, Smee. Not anymore - th anks in wing!
n o s mall part - TO THIS!! (holds up his stump to a Peter Gee, I hadn't r eally
collective gasp!) • Stache Thanks to you, I am reborn! The complete villain!
Smee (weeping) Oh Captain, my Captain! 0 , what sublime enemies we'll be! Forget gold! Time.
Stache Crocodile t ears, Smee. Opine if ye would, wh at'm Time'll be our treasure. We'll fight for all eternity.
I to do now? We's a couple now, boo.
Smee I'm stumped, sir. Peter (negotiating) Only if my friends go free.
Stache You're stumped? It's all about you, isn't it? Stache Oh, bravo, brauissimo! Give the Pan a round of
Selfy-self-self. (tries to clap his hands, but he's short one) Smee, a little
Smee I sir? Not me, sir - help? (tries to clap the severed hand held by SMEE, but
Stache Then kindly retr ieve it ! (lifts trunh lid) I'm not utterly fails, grabs it, and points it at PETER) This is
leaving me hand behind for these children to paw! all your doing, ye loathsome Pan. You single-handedly
Smee (holding up a severed hand) Retrieved, Cap'n. rendered me single-ha nded!
Stache (to PETER) You! You sacrificed, willingly, for th e
sake of a gill. I P eter You cut your hand off, not me!
Stache 0 , pity the child who lives in a fact-based world!
94 95
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
(standing theatrically atop the trunk) You may think Mollusk law - allow all English to leave island! (to
my ship has sailed, but l" have an armada of options ALF) You be good to Betty, or I serve you up al dente!
at my former fingertips. Perhaps I'll never be a Alf Oh, we've made plans, Your Prawnness. I got down
concert violinist or a r eliable juggler, but I can still on bended knee and Missus B said
win Wimbledon - and I can still destroy you! YOU'VE Mrs. Bumbrake You betcha! Betty's bound for bridal
MADE YOUR BED, PAN! bliss!
Peter Go on! (calling off) Get the hook!! Alf Aye, the HMS Bumbrake may have a few barnacles
ROAR/ Tick-tock, tick-tock . . . Everyone looks up on her bottom, but Alf'll scr ape 'em off!
and cowers. Mrs. Bumbrake Don't speak, dearie. (arms out to
Smee North-northwest! Enormous ticking crocodile, FIGHTING PRAWN) Oh, Prawnie! TTFN.
Cap'n! Back for another snack! Fighting Prawn Ta-ta for now. Or in my language:
Stache Upstaging me still, ye s naggletooth'd s how-off?? TIRAMISU!
Smee Just not your day, sir. All TIRAMISU! TIRAMISU!
Stache Hang on! I could use a killer croc on me crew . The MOLLUSKS vanish back into the jungle.
Bring the beast along, Smee. Scott Len, old sport, it's back to England. And then I can
Smee How'm I to lure 'im, sir? finally set my sights on the South Pole.
Stache Give 'im th e h and, y'fool! (tosses his hand to Aster The Antarctic?
SMEE) Wait - best make it last. Just give 'im the Scott Or my name's not Robert Falcon Scott. (to his
finger. (SMEE tries to pry a finger from Stache's hand CREW) Trunk to the longboat!
as he exits.) Adieu , P an. But believe this: Where'er you The SEAMEN carry off the empty trunk. MRS.
call home, keep your back to the wall. For just when BUMBRAKE and ALF follow them off
you least expect it, there I'll be! The Stache, right Molly (saluting SCOTT) Good luck, Captain. Don't let the
under yer nose! (exits, stops, and returns for:) Clap if Norwegians beat you to it!
you believe! Scott Nobody beats t h e British, bttle girl. Rule Britannia!
STACHE exits. Applause, no doubt. SCOTT exits.
Molly (rushes to ASTER, removes his gag, and hugs him) Aster (to MOLLY, of whom he is very proud indeed) Not a
Daddy! Thank goodness you're safe little girl. A full-fledged Starcatcher.
Aster Molly! My Molly. Molly (ecstatic) Full-fledged Starcatcher! Just like my
Mollusks (they just love saying it) Molly! Molly! Molly! wonderful father!
Fighting Prawn Boy! You good son. Fighting Prawn Peter She deserves it, sir. Molly's the real h ero.
honor that. (puts his top hat on PETER's head) Boy Molly Thanks, Peter.
will wear hat of hero. And Fighting Prawn will bend Aster Mission fulfilled. We're heading home!
96 97
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
Molly And you'll come with us! Can't they, Daddy? Can't Peter She wasn't right, and neither are you! Grown-ups
the boys come home with us? lie. They lie and t h en they leave.
Prentiss Mother! Aster I thought she said the starstuff was all you needed
Ted I told you! to get home.
Peter And Teacher said all I needed to get home was Peter But I'm still here.
starstuff! Ha! WRONG! Aster Precisely. Did she say anything else?
Aster Who? Peter She said I needed a family name - so she gave me
Molly Who's Teach er? one.
Peter This trjcked-out mermaid. Well, she was a fish , Molly Pan. Pan, as in "all." (off ASTER's looh - "Wow, you
but she swam in the grotto and NOW WE'RE GOING actually studied your Greek!') Probably.
HOME! Peter All?
Aster Wait! What grotto? Molly Your family name, understand? The whole island.
Peter The grotto with the golden water. All the ants on the beach , all the birds in the air, the
Aster Did you go in that water? mermaids, the Mollusks, the pirates, and the boys too,
Peter Yeah , it was great - all warm and tingly. of course, especially the boys - they're all your family.
Molly (to ASTER, realizing) The starstuff. PETER brightens at that word.
Aster And he soaked in it. (taking MOLLY aside) We
Aster And how does t hat make you feel?
can't do this.
Peter Like - like I'm finally out of the dark.
Molly (fighting it) But it aheady dissolved in the waves!
Aste1· There's a name for that feeling, Peter.
Aster The waves that turn fish into mermaids. I'm sorry,
Peter Home.
Peter - we can't take you with us.
Aster And h ere you are. (to MOLLY) And here he'll stay.
Peter Why? What'd I do?
Prentiss Yeah, me too, totally, count me in.
Molly But he isn't evil or greedy. And he isn't
Ted You didn't wanna be alone, didja?
Aster We don't know what he is. Or what he wants to be.
Molly (angry) Well, this is just so unacceptable. We Asters
Peter I just wanna be a boy for a while. That's all I ever
do not leave boys behind.
wanted
Suddenly - the yellow bird appears, and dive-bombs
Molly (defiant, to ASTER) There, you see?
PETER.
Aster With starstuff, "a while" could be a very long time.
Peter But I'll be good. I promise! Peter Whoa! That crazy bird is after me again. Whadda
Molly The boy deserves a home! you want? Lemme alone!
Aster Of course he does, but - wait - Leona1·d, old man, PETER swats the bird down, covers it with his hat,
you're getting slow! Peter, what if yom mermaid was and mahes to stomp on it.
right? Aster STOP! Don't hurt that bird! (PETER obeys and
98 99
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two: Scene Ten
lowers his foot to the · ground.) You're going to need Molly Mollusk Island, you mean.
something to protect you. Now, it seems to me PETER notices the piece of shipwreck carved with
(flipping over the hat and removing his amulet) - if we the word NEVERLAND.
take the last of the st arstuff, like so - (drops amulet Peter Or maybe I'll call it "Neverland" - y'know, to
in the hat, covers it, whooshes it around) - and stir remember. (They both smile at that. PETER talies off his
vigorously, I think it's anti-clockwise ... Peter, lend a hat and places it on MOLL Y's head.) Hat of hero. Wear
h and, whip the meringue! it when you get home.
Peter (helps stir the hat as the sound of bells fills the air) Molly To remember.
Hey, the hat's gettin g all warm and tingly. Just like Aster Molly, now. The tide won't wait.
Aste r And so! Molly I want you to look after Prentiss and Teddy.
ASTER uncovers the hat and a Light flies out, Peter Five more minutes! C'mon, a bedtime story! Tell
caresses PETER 's cheek, then pulls MOLLY's hair. me, Molly, tell me!
Peter Wizard! Molly (to ASTER) Thexe'll be other tides, won 't th ere?
Molly My hair! Peter Y'see? She wants to stay!
Ted C'mere, you! Aster She can't.
The Light vanishes down the beach. TED runs off Peter (almost frantic) But I don't want it to end!!
after it. Aster Soon, Peter. You'll forget, and it won't hurt any
Prentiss I can totally do that trick. (turns and hollers) more.
Molly No! It's supposed to hurt - t hat's how you know
H ey! Don't eat it, Teddy!
it meant something! (to PETER) This isn't the end.
PRENTISS runs off after TED.
You're going to remember everything, every single
Aster (pleased with himself) Nice to know I've still got it. detail-
Molly If you really want to protect him, you 'd take him Peter And you 're a better leader.
wit h us. Molly Really?
Scott (from off) Tide's going out, my Lord! Peter No.
Aster I'm afraid it's time for good-byes.
They laugh, enjoying each other. Then it changes.
ASTER steps discreetly away. MOLLY pulls herself
Molly You won't stay mad at me forever, will you?
together.
Peter Go on, get lost.
Molly Be a woman. (tears a label from inside her pinafore Molly I'm bound to grow up, see? What would we do?
and hands it to PETER) This is my address in London. Peter Be friends.
You don't have to write me every day or anything, just Molly In a year, that'd be h aTd. In five years, it'd be silly.
when you feel like it. In twenty year s, it would just be sad.
Peter Well -you know my address. Molly Isla nd.
100 101
Peter and the Starcatcher Act Two : Scene Ten
Peter (bitterly) You sound older already. Narrator Fighting Prawn "I hope she will have a little
MOLLY goes to her father. A S TER comforts her girl - "
gently. Narrator Hawking Clam "A little girl who will go off
Aster The thing you did, against impossible odds - it's with him in turn - "
wha t the two of you will always h ave. Narrator Bumbrake (gently singing)
Peter The thing we did .. . OH, FOR THE WINGS,
Molly Agains t impossible odds . .. (deliberately comes FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE . ..
back to PETER and kisses him on the mouth) Yes, I Narrator Molly And so may we go on and on, dea1· Nana,
wanted to. a s long as children are young and innocent
Narrator Stache - and rude and juvenile and heart
MOLL Y runs off. ASTER stops PETER from
pursuinf.( he1-, then exits. PETER is alone. A moment. less -
Narra tor Aster - past all of the jostles of life
Then the COMPANY enters, one by one.
Narrator Molly - 'til we fly back home.
Narr a tor S c ott Peter watches the Wasp get sm aller and
The singing ends. PETER has just what he always
sm aller , wondering about his advent ure, a bout Molly,
wanted.
a bout tha t kiss.
Narrator Stache It would be the only moment that Peter Home .
Pet er would t eet er , at the t op of the rolley-coaster , A moment. TED and PRENTISS run on, ducking
on the ver ge of becoming what he'd always h at ed - a and swatting, pursued by the Light and the sound
gr own-up. of bells.
Narrator Aster And then , as promised, he began to Ted HELP! That bird-bell thing is after us!!
forget . And s tayed right wher e h e was. Prentiss Keep it away! It's tryin' to eat my brains !!
Narrator Stache The outsider. Peter Over here! I'm the one you want!
Narrator Alf Molly, true to h er word, would r em ember Ted Get it away! Get it away!!
everything, until one night, many year s la ter - The Light flutters directly to PETER and speaks to
Narra tor Smee - sh e stared out the nurser y window him in Bell.
watching Pet er fly off with her da ughter in tow Peter Okay, okay, calm down - I think .. . yeah, I think
Narrator Bumbrake - and this grown-up Molly would sh e wan ts m e to race you down to the grotto.
comfort h er n ew Nana, the good old dog who tended Ted (having spotted his pineapple) Look! Stache sliced
h er children it open! (finally able to gnaw on the fruit, blissful) Oh,
Narrator Molly "Don't worry, Na na darling. I always yes - mmm, OH YES!
hoped , if Pe t er came to visit, that my daughte1· would Prentiss It's hard to believe you're still single.
t ake my place. And once Wendy grows up - "
102 103
Peter and the Starcatcher
Peter (to the Light)Wait! How can I race 'ern to the grotto
if I don't run?? Whoa whoa whoa - I can what???
The Light flies off, zoom!
Prentiss What'd she say? What'd sh e say??
Peter "To have faith is to have wings."
The COMPANY approaches and surrounds PETER.
Prentiss Wait a minute - did you say grotto?
Peter How'd you like to jus t be a boy for a while?
Ted The s tarstuff water can do that?
Peter It ma kes you what you want to be.
Prentiss A lawyer?
The COMPANY slowly lifts PETER.
Peter Guys - this is gonna be one awfully big adventure.
Ted, Prentiss All right ! You said it!
Peter Ready?
All READY!
Peter Set?
All SET!
Molly (happy for her friend, she sets PETER free) Go!
Then, supported by the company, PETER shoots up
from a crouch
Peter (crows) Ca ca Ca ca CAAAH!
- and flies!
BLACKOUT.
TIRAMISU!
104