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What do I do if my wife has checked

out of the marriage? Also is there
anyway to try and fix our problems?
1

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All related (36) Recommended

Verna Simms · Follow

11mo

If your wife has checked out the marriage that means

she doesn’t care about you or the marriage and has
reached her breaking point with you. Whatever has
happened with you has broken her spirit. She has
mentally left the marriage and maybe making plans to
exit physically. On the other hand she may stay
because she only need your resources.

There is always a way to fix your marriage but it

requires both spouses to work together. You both
have to show interest by your actions. You can’t say
you want a different wife when you are still the same
husband. If you want change.
Continue Then you have to
Reading
change.
You upvoted this

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Ricky Spanish (Sometimes Richard S Burton) ·

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Infantry then Respiratory Therapist (1992–present) ·
Updated 3y

Related How do you save your marriage if only

one of you is interested in saving it?
I was once in a situation like this. I changed the big
issues first. I went above and beyond, becoming not
just the best husband, but superhusband. Excelled at
work, getting promoted to bring more money home to
the family. Excelled at family time. Studied more
university classes because higher degree means
more money for her and family. Then, focused on the
little things. Tiptoed quietly when getting dressed in
the morning for work and dressing in the dark so as
not to wake her; because I left to work before sunrise
and her highness would sleep until the Crack of noon.

(I'm embarrassed to say how far I went to pee quietly

because she even complained about that.)

Breakfast in bed on weekends. Did all household

chores and laundry and yard work even though I
worked close to 100 hours a week at my job. I literally
pulled every weed, turned over and repainted every
rock in the garden. Figuratively as well, figuratively
meaning the marriage relationship and household.

By the time I looked at all that happened, I was in for a

rude awakening. There was nothing left of the
husband that she despised so much. I had erased
myself, and there was an entirely new person here.
She should have been satified and thrilled, having got
100% of what she wanted. But you see, the entire
time she complained. When I would shift focus and
address and work on what she complained about,
she'd complain more and move the goalposts. So the
task remained the same, but the conditions and
standards would shift so as to be unattainable by any
human being.

Most of all, SHE DIDN'T DO A DAMN THING TO HELP

IMPROVE THE MARRIAGE, I did 100% of the work to
improve things, all of the time. Then, she moved out!
So I filed for divorce. That was my Matrix Red Pill
awakening moment, the bitch had been cheating with
different guys for a long time. Her bitching and
moaning was a manipulation and diversion tactic to
keep me focused in the wrong direction, and it
worked. I got off lucky, all I had to give her was the
car she drove that I paid for.

BACK to the original question: “¿How do you save

your marriage if only one of you is interested in saving
it?

You DON'T.
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Nicholas Brian Lancaster · Follow

Studied Business & Health Care Management (… · 3y
aduated 1991)
Related My husband says he doesn't care one
way or another if we divorce or not, should I
stop fighting for my marriage since he's already
basically checked out?
Well then you could treat him like a roommate. No
wife privileges. There's no need to fight and there's
no need for drama. You go on about your business,
and you let him go on about his business. No
cheating, no screwing around, no spiteful behavior, no
abuse, no nagging. Be cordial and polite at all times.
Just like a roommate. He'll either come around, or he
won't. Either way, he dosen't get to have his cake and
eat it too. On other words, he doesn't get to say that
he dosen't care, and still get all the privileges of a
wife.
Upvote · 128 1

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Belle Gayer · Follow

Elder Adviser · Sep 29

From all of the questions on your Profile, nowhere can

I see why your wife feels your relationship is over.

Do you even know why?

If, so, why?

How long have you been married? How long ago did
things deteriorate? Why didn’t you address the issues
long ago? Why were you blind to the signs and red
flags??

Communication, compromise and conciliation are

essential to successful relationships, yet you appear
not to have succeeded at any of them.

I would say you could offer to go to counseling with

her, that you truly Continue
want to move forward in your life
Reading
with her, but only if you can deal with the issues caus
Upvote · 1 24

Smitaj · Follow
cyclist, farmer, teacher, a lifetime of study, 5… · 11mo
yr married
In general by the time it reaches this point the wife
has tried everything she knows. Speaking on behalf of
one of the women I knew well she would have tried
something if it was recommended but hoped that
nothing would be suggested that would force her to
try all over again.

It is very difficult to reach the point of “I must leave”

and having done so they don’t want to be dragged
into the mire again.

To give more on the one I mentioned. The husband

would shout her down or hit walls etc to intimidate her
so she would shut up about any complaint.
Continue Reading
I worked with her to identify two or three things th
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Upvote · 235

Trine Markan · Follow

Lives in Lyngby DENMARK (2019–present) · Oct 1

Females tjecks out cus they do not feel seen, heard

and appreciated!!! If everyday life is a loooonnng road
with chores and fulfilling everyone's needs but her
own is boooooorrrriiiiinnnnggg and gives her a clue
that she is just everyone's tool!!!

Fix it??? Years and years and more years of neglect

and being viewed as an off course thing?? She's had
it!! Females in marriage goes a looooonnnggg way
before she gets so sick and tired and she actually
can't stand to be home or can't stand to be around
herself!! Her valueContinue
withinn Reading
has faded away!!! Your only
job was for you to make her feel important
Upvote · 1

Bike4FunMom · Follow
1y

RelatedHow do I deal with emotional neglect in

a marriage?
I am trying to figure this out. After almost 20 years of
marriage (5 of verbal abuse until I put my foot down),
I am exhausted, lonely, and sad. I have been working
on myself for about 15 of those years, overcoming my
own emotional neglect from childhood. My husband is
a good man, but seems to have very little capacity for
emotional connection. We have had countless fights,
discussions and conversations. I have made him lists
of what I “need" from him. It is all so cold and
mechanical. There is no passion. I have dragged him
to counseling (thatContinue
lasted for only a few months, but
Reading
he only went af
Upvote · 10 1 1

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