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9/9/2020 15 Simple Exercises to Increase Your Self-Awareness — Gustavo Razzetti

15 Simple Exercises to
Increase Your Self-
Awareness
by Gustavo Razzetti
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Make time for self-reflection

Self-Awareness is the rst step for personal growth.

To know ourselves allows us to take the reins of our life. Self-


awareness helps you see yourself clearly — it illuminates your
blind spots so you can live more intentionally rather than on
autopilot.

Most of us are more unaware than aware. That’s why practicing


self-awareness reveals what we don’t know we don’t know about
ourselves. Self-awareness is a never-ending journey — even for
those who know themselves well.

Increased self-awareness can turn you into a better leader —


both personally and professionally. Self-aware persons make
better decisions, are more creative and collaborative.

Enjoy these self-awareness exercises. Give them a try and see


which work for you. Know yourself; lead yourself.

List of Self-Awareness Exercises



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9/9/2020 15 Simple Exercises to Increase Your Self-Awareness — Gustavo Razzetti

Table Of Contents

Make time for self-reflection


1. Who Are You?
2. Monitor Your Inner Voice
3. Your Superpower and Kryptonite
4. Write Morning Pages
5. Perception/ Reality
6. The Three Whys
7. Record your ABCs
8. Your Best and Worst Self
9. Write Your Own Obituary
10. Ask for Feedback, Regularly
11. Get An Accountability Partner
12. The Johari Window
13. The Wheel of Life
14. Name Your Emotions
15. Reflect on Past Decisions

1. Who Are You?


This is a simple, yet profound, exercise. It works better when
you practice it with someone else, but you can do it on your own
too.


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9/9/2020 15 Simple Exercises to Increase Your Self-Awareness — Gustavo Razzetti

You have to answer one question: “Who are you?” — over and
over.

The exercise is pretty straightforward: one person asks “Who


are You?” and the other responds whatever comes to mind.

The rst person keeps asking “Who are you?” right after each
answer. This goes on for two minutes, and then people switch
roles– the person who responded now gets to ask “Who are
you?”

It feels silly and simple, but most people struggle as they have
to continue answering who they are. Initially, people share
obvious things — their names, jobs, relationships, hobbies, etc.
But, as the exercise progresses, it becomes harder and harder.
That’s precisely the point — to peel the multiple layers of our
identity.

Reflect on the experience. Do you tend to associate your identity


to your profession or relationship status? Did any of your
responses surprise you? What have you discovered about
yourself? Did the exercise remind you of some forgotten or
hidden areas of who you are?

We contain multitudes, as Walt Whitman wrote. Understanding


that your identity is fluid and complex is essential to improve
your self-awareness. 
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2. Monitor Your Inner Voice


The words we use every day have a profound impact — language
shapes our relationship with people, things, and ourselves.

Talking to oneself is one the most natural, yet undervalued,


skills we have. It stimulates self-reflection, increases
motivation, and connect us with our emotions. Research by
Canadian professor Alain Morin shows there’s a high correlation
between talking to oneself more frequently and a higher self-
awareness and self-evaluation.

The quality of your inner speech is critical — the more positive


your words, the better. Pay attention to your inner voice. Would
you allow anyone to speak to you the way you talk to yourself?

Pay attention to the way you respond to both your successes


and failures. Your inner voice creates feedback-loops — you can
turn them into a negative or positive experience. The way you
talk to yourself is the way you love yourself. Choose your words
carefully.

Words like “I can’t,” “I should,” or “I have to” limit our potential


by creating a negative attitude — either we don’t trust in our

potential,
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the following post to learn how to reframe your negative inner-


dialogue into a positive one.

3. Your Superpower and Kryptonite


Accepting our whole self — flaws included — is vital for self-
appreciation.

The purpose of this exercise is to reconnect with both your


negative and positive sides and understand that neither is good
or bad — how we use them can help or harm us.

Write down what’s your Superpower and what’s your Kryptonite


— just one in each case.

Let me share mine as an example. My Superpower is my ability


to come up with an insight or idea that connect things that seem
unrelated. My Kryptonite is being impatient — I get anxious when
people take too much time to respond or do something.

Neither is good or bad. If I use my impatience wisely, I can drive


people into action. However, if I’m always impatient, then I’ll
drive everyone crazy. Same with my Superpower — it can harm
me if I overplay it.

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I suggest that you start with one rst, and then build a full list of
all your Kryptonite and Superpowers.

Reflect on what they say about you? How do you usually use
them? How can you adjust your Superpower or Kryptonite, so
they help you, not hurt you?

4. Write Morning Pages


This exercise comes from the book An Artist’s Way. There are
many iterations out there.

Writing Morning Pages is very useful to produce insights, calm


anxieties, and resolve problems. As soon as you wake up, grab a
piece of paper and write everything that comes to mind. Don’t
lter anything — you want to declutter your mind.

The recommendation is to compose three pages of stream-of-


consciousness writing. Some people do more. Others set a time
limit — 15 to 20 minutes. Doing it in the morning is ideal. You
want to let everything out before your mind gets busy and starts
ltering things.


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Writing Morning Pages can help you unblock emotions, discover


ideas that were at an unconscious level, or identify areas for
development. When you let your words flow, without any
rational lter, you set your creativity free.

Morning Pages are private; you don’t need to lter your words.
Some people use them as a warm-up and then destroy them
without checking what they wrote. Others use them as a source
of inspiration or self-reflection. See what works for you.

This exercise is an un ltered version of journaling — it will help


you know yourself better and become more appreciative too.

5. Perception/ Reality
The purpose of this exercise is to compare your self-image with
what others think of you.

List the top ve words that describe who you are. Then ask ten
people — a mix of friends, family and work colleagues — to
provide their list (the ve words that best describe you).

It’s critical that people agree to be candid. I suggest they send


their words via email or text versus doing it in person. Compare

their responses
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What are the similarities? What are the differences?

What surprised you about people’s feedback? Why?

How do opinions from family and co-workers differ from each


other? What does that tell you about how you behave in different
environments?

6. The Three Whys


This technique was initially developed by Sakichi Toyoda and
was used by Toyota to evolution its manufacturing approach. It
explores the cause-and-effect relationships underlying a
particular problem. By repeating the question “Why?” you dig
deeper into the root cause.

This exercise is a shorter version — you get to ask “Why?” three


times only.

Ricardo Semler, a champion of employee-friendly and radical


corporate democracy workplaces, suggests that we can gain
greater wisdom by simply asking three “Whys?” in a row about
everything we are doing.

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He says that for the rst ‘Why?’ you always have a good answer
for. The second ‘Why?’ becomes more dif cult to answer. The
third one makes you realize that, most probably, you don’t know
what you are doing.

You can apply this when you are about to make a decision, or
you are feeling confused and don’t know what’s going on. Or to
answer any question in your life. Or to come up with new ideas
or solutions.

Semler says that by asking “Why?” three times, you get more
clarity about who you are and why you are here.


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7. Record your ABCs


Albert Ellis’s ABC Model is a signi cant part of his rational-
emotive behavior therapy (REBT) — a precursor to cognitive-
behavioral therapy (CBT).

The basic idea behind the ABC model is that external events (A)
do not cause emotions ©, but our beliefs do (B).

Though this exercise is very effective for dealing with an adverse


event, you can use it in ‘normal’ situations too. It will help you
reflect on how you react to events so you can do better next
time.

Activating event that triggers your inner dialogue


Beliefs you formed after the event
Consequences or how you feel

This formula will help you understand your response to stressful


situations. People react differently to similar events — the ABC
model increases your awareness. The idea is to learn how to
turn automatic negative thoughts into positive ones.

Imagine there’s a traf c jam, and you are running late to work.
You may become anxious imagining that you won’t make it on
time for a meeting with your boss. This might cause you to start
shouting at others or blowing your horn. Alternatively, you might
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choose to relax and focus on what you can control — you might
call and inform your boss you won’t make it on time or that
you’ll take the meeting from your phone.

The ABC model is a very effective way to reflect on our


behaviors and adjust how we react — especially to events we
cannot control.

8. Your Best and Worst Self


The purpose of this exercise is to help you acknowledge what
drives you (or not) by getting input from other people. They just
have to answer two questions:

When did you see me the most excited?

When did you see me the most frustrated?

It’s important that people choose one event per question. And
that they provide a “Why?”

Invite people that know you really well — either personally or


professionally. Get ve to six answers at least. Compare ndings
and reflect on what motivates you and what gets you stuck.

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What surprised you about people’s feedback? Why?

Is there any particular theme, either in what frustrated or excited


you?

Are there any speci c tasks, topics, people, or moments


associated with frustrating or exciting moments?

9. Write Your Own Obituary


The purpose of this exercise is to focus your life on what really
matters to you. To live the way you want to be remembered. As
Mahatma Gandhi said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.”

An obituary usually captures our best self — who we were, what


we did, and what we achieved. Here you will write it while you
are alive, rather than someone else doing it for you. Focusing on
how you want to be remembered, will clarify what’s important to
you.

I use this exercise in some of our change leadership workshops.


Writing one’s obituary is not easy — people freak out a little
initially. Thinking about one’s death is moving. However, being

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reminded that our lives don’t last forever, builds a sense of


urgency — it provides clarity and focus.

Go on. Write your own obituary. Take the exercise seriously, not
yourself. If you are humorous, let your epitaph be fun too. Use
the following template.


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1. Start by writing your name the way you’d like it to look on your
tombstone. You can add a nickname too.
2. In one line, how did you make the world a better place? Be
concise. The more focused, the more honest you’ll be with yourself.
3. Write down how people will remember you. Avoid pompous
language. Stick to the tone and words that regular people would use

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— especially those who know you well. The why is essential (once
again, you don’t need the full laundry list).
4. This part requires more introspection. Look yourself into the mirror
and answer without ltering: “Who was the real you?” Not your
masks or titles or roles. What was your essence? What made you
unique?
5. Saying ‘yes’ is easy. What we say ‘no’ to de nes who we really are.
Which was in your case? What were the ‘temptations,’ distractions, or
possibilities that you said ‘no’ to because they would derail you from
achieving your goals?
6. Who will miss you the most? This seems easy, but it’s not. The
answer is not about what you wish, but trying to understand who will
really miss you. A lot of people will do for sure. But who were those
people to whom you meant something special? Once again, avoid
judging yourself. Being honest is what makes this exercise
meaningful.
7. Now it’s time to be creative. The previous steps provided the
background; now it’s time to bring it your epitaph to life. Write down
in one or two paragraphs the words that you would love someone to
say about you once you’ve departed. This is the most critical part of
the exercise. Connect with your true essence, not your vanity.

Download a high res copy of the template here.

10. Ask for Feedback, Regularly


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There are two types of self-awareness: internal and external.


The rst one is how well you know yourself; the latter is about
knowing how others see you.

We all have blind spots that affect our behaviors — feedback is


crucial for us to see our ‘unknown unknowns.’ Asking for regular
constructive feedback helps ght self-deceit. Get input from
different sources, not just your best friends or partner.

Pay attention; don’t lter what you hear. We tend to accept


feedback that is aligned with our view of self and reject
feedback that doesn’t match our view of reality. Writing down
what people tell you — without judging what you hear — can help
you overcome this bias.

The more interesting the questions you ask, the more


productive the feedback. I’ve always loved the “What should I
start/continue/ stop doing?” approach — it’s action-driven.
Effective feedback should focus on your behavior, not on who
you are or your beliefs.

Once again, nd people that can provide an objective,


constructive, and rich view. Feedback is like sex. Everyone does
it, but few do it well.


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11. Get An Accountability Partner


We cannot improve our behaviors on our own — the support of
like-minded people helps us overcome barriers and limiting
beliefs. Getting an Accountability Partner increases your
chances of achieving your goals or developing new habits.

When you commit your goals to someone, your probability


raises to 65%. If you create a speci c accountability
appointment with a person, the odds increase to 95%.

Marshall Goldsmith, the founder of the namesake coaching rm,


is a perfect example of the power of having an accountability
partner. Every night, a friend calls him to ask him 22 questions.
This process helps Goldsmith reflect if he’s honest with himself, if
he is doing his best, and identifying areas for personal growth.

You don’t have to go that extreme. But, the example is clear


evidence that even self-aware people, like a longtime life coach,
know that they must continually build self-awareness.

An accountability partner agreement is the foundation of a


reciprocal relationship–each member coaches and helps the
other achieve professional or personal success. The partnership
is established by an agreement that de nes how the
relationship would work.

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Start by committing to one behavior you want to change–


focusing is critical.

Accountability Partner Agreement — Liberationist

1. Choose one behavior you want to change/ improve.

2. Establish clear metrics to measure progress.

3. De ne rules of engagement. What coaching style do you


expect from your partner? Do you want your partner just to
listen or also to challenge you?

Do you expect feedback in the form of advice, tips or questions?


Clarify what’s con dential. What other things should your
partner know about you or the behavior you want to change?

4. Establish regular touch points. Both partners need to agree


on the frequency, date, duration, etc. Also, will you be meeting
in person or online? Download your copy of the Accountability
Partner agreement

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12. The Johari Window


This tool is ideal for increasing self-awareness. It focuses on
understanding what’s visible (or not) to us and others.

Our blind spots lie at the intersection of how we perceive


ourselves and how others perceive us. The Johari Window was
developed by Psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham to
help us become more self-aware.

I use it regularly when working with organizations to increase


both self and team awareness.


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ARENA: Traits and behaviors that both yourself and others are
aware of. It includes anything about yourself that you are willing
to share. This area drives clarity and builds trust.

MASK: Aspects about yourself that you are aware of but might
not want others to know. It can also include traits that you are
not sharing with others without you being aware of. What you
show to others is a mask that hides your authentic self as I
wrote here.

BLIND SPOTS: What others perceive, but you don’t. Important


to note: not valuing your strengths can also be a blind spot.
Feedback from others can make you more aware of your
negative traits but also of the positive ones you are not
appreciating.

UNCONSCIOUS: What’s unknown to both you and anyone else.

Though this matrix has four quadrants, the size of each is not
necessarily equal. Each window pane will vary depending on:

How much you share with other people


How well others (try to) know you
How well you know yourself


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You can expand your “Arena” area by:

Disclosing more about yourself, thus reducing the “Mask” area


Uncovering more about your “Unconscious” area
Becoming aware of your “Blind” area

The place to start in the Johari window is in the open area. Make
some notes about yourself.

Involve other people and ask for feedback about yourself — ask
each person to provide ve phrases to describe you. Be
prepared to seriously consider the feedback you get. That
doesn’t mean that you have to do everything that people tell
you.

Here’s the full description to facilitate a team feedback session,


using the Johari Window.

13. The Wheel of Life



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This tool is straightforward to use and increases self-awareness


by assessing the key areas in your life. Don’t confuse it with the
Buddhist’s Wheel of Life.

The Wheel of Life has eight categories: Career, Money, Health,


Friends & Family, Signi cant Other, Personal Growth, Fun &
Recreation, and Physical Environment. You can replace the
names or categories to adapt it to your reality.

Use a 1–10 scale to assess each area, where 1 is closest to the


center of the circle and 10 is at the edge of it — the highest level
of satisfaction. You can also apply colors to highlight each area.
Put yourself in a quiet place and remove all distractions. This
exercise can take you between 15 to 30 minutes. Don’t rush it.
And be honest with yourself.

Pic by Aja Edmond


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9/9/2020 15 Simple Exercises to Increase Your Self-Awareness — Gustavo Razzetti

Career: Is your career where you want it to be by now? Are you


satis ed with what you are doing? Reflect on job satisfaction
versus career satisfaction.

Money: Are you earning enough income to satisfy your current


needs? Do you have a clear plan for the future? Are you saving
money or suffering from high-debt stress?

Health: How physically t are you? Are you satis ed with your
eating habits? How would you rate your physical activity?

Friends & Family: Do you have people that you can count on?
Do you have a support network? Do the people around you help
you grow?

Signi cant Other: Do you feel loved, understood, and


respected? Do you have a partner that satis es you? How strong
is your relationship?

Personal Growth: Do you have a clear purpose in life? What


about your spiritual life? What are your goals and priorities? Are
you satis ed with your personal development? Do you spend
enough time to learn, reflect, and improve your knowledge and
behaviors?


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Physical Environment: Does the place you live in satisfy you?


Do you take care of your environment to help you succeed? Do
you have a safe space for reflection or relaxation? Are you
satis ed with the places you usually visit?

The purpose of scoring is not to feel overly con dent or sad


about how each area performs, but to understand if you are
living a well-balanced life.

Reflect. Are you putting too much energy or time into speci c
areas? Are others being neglected or postponed? Ask the 3
“Whys?”

Set up goals for improvement — 1 month, 3 months and 6


months. Rerun the assessment and monitor your progress. Self-
awareness is not just about understanding who you are and how
you live, but also to track improvements.

14. Name Your Emotions


We are continually experiencing emotions. Sometimes, we don’t
pay attention to what we feel. Others, we overreact without
realizing what’s triggering our behavior.


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This exercise will help you familiarize with your feelings.


Practice labeling your emotions as they happen. Close your eyes
and focus on your emotions. Name them without passing
judgment. Feeling upset is not the same as being angry, sad, or
frustrated. Most of the times, we mix our emotions. Check this
post to learn to discriminate different feelings.

Becoming more aware of how you feel can help you uncover
what affects your mood but, most importantly, to avoid
overreacting because you are not fully aware of what you are
feeling.

The more you get to know your feelings, the less they will cloud
your judgment.

15. Reflect on Past Decisions


Self-awareness also feeds from our past actions. Learn to reflect
on the actual impact of your decisions. Reflect on what you can
do differently next time.

As Peter Drucker wrote, “Whenever you make a decision or take


a key decision, write down what you expect will happen. Nine or
12 months later, compare the results with what you expected.”

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He called this self-reflection process feedback analysis and


believed it was the only way to discover our strengths.

The Jesuits, a strict religious order within the Catholic Church,


practice something similar. Whenever they are about to make an
important decision, they write down what they expect will
happen and how they arrived at a conclusion. Nine months later,
they compare the actual results with their expectations.

Reflecting on past decisions will help you:

Become more aware of how you make decisions


Realize what worked and what didn’t
Notice your usual biases
Improve your decision-making process

Failing smart requires improving your perspective — learn from


present mistakes, but also to observe things through times.
Increase your self-awareness by reflecting on your past
decisions.

Interested in more exercises to accelerate self-awareness and


personal growth?

Try these 21 simple exercises to increase mindfulness.


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