A BOY AND A GIRL CAN BE

FRIENDS

BY UTKARSH ABHIGYAN
TABLE OF CONTENTS
EXPLORATION

ALMOND SHAKE

ELIXIR OF LIFE

THE MORNING WALKS

THE CINEMA

GAZAR KA HALWA

THE HOSPITAL

END OF CONTRADICTION

THE LAST WALK

THE LAST DAY

Copyright © [2024] by [UTKARSH ABHIGYAN]
No portion of this book may be reproduced in
any form without prior written permission from
the publisher or author, except as permitted by
Indian copyright law. Sub-Section (i) of Section 45
of the Copyright Act, 1957
“A boy and a girl can never be friends” they say –
well, it is true if you feel that falling in love with
your friend is a crime, but, if you know that love
has no boundaries and that it can happen to
anybody, anywhere, anytime with anyone, it
seems fair to say “a boy and a girl can be friends”,
even though they love each other.
Dedicated to the friend I fell in love with.
Feb 9 13:06
“A boy and a girl can never be friends” they say – well, it is true if you
feel that falling in love with your friend is a crime, but, if you know
that love has no boundaries and that it can happen to anybody,
anywhere, anytime with anyone, it seems fair to say “a boy and a girl
can be friends”, even though they love each other.

A new book is in the process guys, just waiting for

the exams to end…
Activity
Seen by: 31
Likes: 9
Story replies: 1

Unknown started a conversation with you

Unknown: When will it be published?
You: Before may 12th
Between may 6th and may 12th
Unknown: Finally an author thn
Congratulations
You: Oh, I’m already an author tbh
I have published a book already
Although it has a lot of mistakes here and there
Unknown: ohh sorry
I didn’t know about this
What’s the name of your book?
You: FRIENDS FALLING IN LOVE
You: (link encoded)
Give it a read if you can, it’s only 20-25 pages.
And it’s completely fine if you don’t like it,
I’m still learning.
You: and if you do read it, let me know your thoughts
I’m open to suggestions
Unknown: The title sounds attractive though
Okay, I’ll read it.
Unknown: Actually, we writers manipulate the
language of art
so there’s no such thng labelled as “eww
I don’t like this”
Everything is fair and lovely in poetry
You: Everything is fair and lovely as long as it sounds
poetic… and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t poetic
everywhere
Unknown: nvm, it’s the growing stage
You: I wrote this book because I was mad at my
Best-friend. I loved her and she left me for
Another boy
Unknown: Now that’s what writers do
They start writing art from their personal
experiences nd turns out that many souls
livin out there is experiencing the same
shit over nd over again.
You: Haina? That’s why my next book’s title is going
to be ‘A BOY AND A GIRL CAN BE FRIENDS’
because I was told by many of my friends
that a boy and a girl can never be friends.
Unknown: cooll
You: and they believe in this just because at
some point they’ll end up falling for
each other
Unknown: ohh no perspective matters
You: but my views are different, why can’t
you love your friend and be friends still?
You: just accept the fact that you’re in love
with your friend, and you don’t need to
change her into a girlfriend, just love
her as your friend and everything will be
fine.
Unknown: unless u get hurt at the end of the
chapter when a new character gets
introduced into her story
You: I don’t get it how ppl fall in love expecting
not to get hurt… yes, the end, the
conclusion, the outcome may hurt you but
the journey in between is always sweet and
tingling

when all of it comes to an end, only the

 memories of how it all ended hurts you
You: memories of how and how much you
loved someone, the process, the journey
never hurts you.
Unknown: you got a different mindset
Cool
You: it’s just me being me and nothing else.
Unknown: pov of a writer
U shldn’t interrupt them wid words.

Unknown left the chat

You left the chat …./
Agony, Pain, Anger and Anguish, all of them can
be used to define someone’s state while that
person goes through separation or suffers loss.

But when the writers, poets, artists, and authors

step in, they do not define their state just by
using the words “agony,” “pain,” “anger,” and
“anguish,” rather, they romanticise everything,
be it love, or be it the pain of not being loved.

Romantics use “poetic agony,” “poetic pain,”

“poetic anger” and “poetic anguish.”
 EXPLORATION

While as agonising or excruciating even the

thoughts of getting separated from your friend
may seem, loving your friend is the best thing you
are ever going to experience. I did the same.

When I finally met her after a long time, we just

walked for bit and I showed her the place I was
going to stay at for the next one and a half year.
We were both, of course, new in the city, and the
city was new to us. That day, our journey of being
the best buddies started, with two glasses of
pomegranate juice (she does not like ice in her
drinks).

I was already going through a heartbreak, and

she was like ice on my burning wounds.

While exploring the city, we started exploring

each other. My exploratory events, however,
finally stopped when they reached her, while she
kept on exploring, even beyond me.
 ALMOND SHAKE

The day you came to my place and we made out,

I should have rather kissed on your cheeks and
told you how much I was in love with you,
instead, my exploratory conscience took over me
and we kept kissing each other.

I contracted a lung infection recently and I was

hospitalised due to the severity of my condition.
After they drained all the fluid from the right lobe
of my lungs and administered several rounds of
antibiotics and steroids, as I was getting
discharged, the nutritionist made me a list of
things I should eat and things I should not. I
accepted all the terms until I spotted “ALMOND
SHAKE” in the list under things I should not eat.

I was mad and I was furious.

Hello sir, what would you like to order today?

An almond shake please, the big one
And anything for miss?
No we’re fine, we’ll share. Just put two spoons in the cup if you
would, please.

Out of all the things I miss, I miss us sharing

almond shake more than anything.
 ELIXIR OF LIFE

Different kinds of intoxicants are widely available

to the teens like us, legally or illegally. Out of all
of them, I have tried alcohol only.
It affects the personality of different people in
different ways, on me personally, alcohol has a
soothing effect. The same it does to you too.
I tried alcohol a few times. Once when I was still
in high-school and the second time when I did it,
it was with you.
An evening of November it was, when you tried
it for the first time, you were disoriented and
wanted veg roll. While looking for the shop on
google maps, there came a moment when you
stopped, hugged me, and said ‘I don’t wanna go
to the hostel today.’ Only if I had a way to do so,
I would not have let you go anywhere that day. I
was going to propose you.
Alcohol changes the very nature of you. As if, a
second personality lives inside you and alcohol
serves as the elixir of life for that dormant soul to
be invoked by it.
Who is the true one then? The one that you carry
to all the places every day or the other that
comes out on special occasions when you are
with no one but those who are the most intimate
to you?
Whoever she was that day, I fell in love with her.
 THE MORNING WALKS

There are things that I do not like, then comes

the things that I hate, and, out of all the things
that I hate, waking up early in the morning
occupies the highest place in the list.
Even though I hated waking up early in the
morning, I would still wake up at 6am to go on a
walk with you. Walks with you never used to be
long enough for me, I loved walking with you.
Do you remember us holding hands while we
walked? I do. You used to have cold hands in
winters and I remember warming them
sometimes by putting them in the pocket of my
jacket and sometimes by rubbing them against
mine.
I wonder how care for someone grows inside
you? For me, care for you started growing the day
we held hands for the first time as if a part of your
soul seeped deep into my own body by mere
contact of out skins, just like scent of a flower
gets diffused into the air, you cannot see it, but
you can always smell it so you know it is there.
Just like a spoon of sugar dissolves itself in a glass
of water, you can never know it is there but you
can always taste it. I felt a similar sweetness
whenever I was with you.
I still have a picture of us walking together, and
sometimes when I look at it, I’m forced to think
how far we have walked now.
 THE CINEMA

January-1, 2023
We decided to watch a movie together, you said
that you have a surprise for me and I could not
help myself but wonder what could it be.
I calculated all the possibilities but never thought
you were going to kiss me. Although the kiss
landed at the wrong site, you kissed me on my
ear because you wanted to make it quick.
Whatever that was, it made me feel loved,
something that I had not felt for years.
 GAZAR KA HALWA

Why are some memories stable even over the

years while others fade away in a minute? I was
wondering about it a lot lately until finally I
decided to give it a search on google.
“Strong, stable memories are encoded by
"teams" of neurons all firing in synchrony,
providing redundancy that enables these
memories to persist over time”
Teams of neurons? Synchrony? Redundancy?
What are these?
Well, I think for me, the moments that have some
emotional values, persist longer in the memories
than moments that do not hold any emotional
values to me. Gazar ka halwa is one such
example.
One fine evening in the winters when we were
hanging out, you expressed a desire to have
some gazar ka halwa and we headed straight to
the shop.
You were going through a tough time; you were
in a situationship that you wanted to get out of
and we were discussing how you are going to get
out of it.
Okay look, you don’t have to explain anything to him, it’s your life,
you are in-charge of it and you know what is best for you. You don’t
want to be with him, then you don’t have to. Just end things already
and move on.

Okay I understand that it’s very easy to get out of it, but am I doing
something wrong by ghosting him? I mean, he’s nice, but he’s very
confusing at the same time and I don’t know what he wants with
me… I’m confused. What will he think of me once I ghost him? I don’t
want to be a villain of anyone’s story.

Listen, you’re taking a lot of stress, why do you need someone else
for validation, you have me and I don’t think anything bad about
you, you’re the most beautiful girl I have ever met and I promise I’ll
never leave your side. Here, have the halwa.

It’s very sweet, I don’t think I’ll eat the whole, you’ll have to eat the
half.

Okay I’ll have the half.

While I was feeding you by my own hands, I

wanted the time to stop. I just wanted to have a
good look at you, so to make that very moment
persistent in my memories.
Just like any other treats, we shared that one too.
As usual, you ate first and I finished whatever was
remaining.
Since then, every single detail of that day has
stayed persistent in my memories.
 THE HOSPITAL

Some people like to eat unhealthily, and some do

not. All the unhealthy things that you can find on
the streets, they have one thing in common and
that is fat. Our brain loves fat.
But you were, honestly, the most health-
conscious person in my knowledge. Waking up by
four, doing yoga, sprouts in the breakfast, no
unhealthy street food. Even if you had to eat
something from the streets, they either used to
be the fruit salad or fruit juices. I wonder how
you fell ill.
When my phone rang at five thirty, I thought it
was an usual call to wake me up.
Hello?

Hey, can you come to the hospital ASAP? She’s ill, I’m her friend
talking.

What happened to her?

Multiple vomits, fever and she’s unconscious right now, we’re taking
him to the student’s hospital.
Before I could say that the student’s hospital
stays closed on Sundays, call was disconnected.
Phone rings…

Hey, the student’s hospital is closed due to some reason, what should
we do now?

Just stay where you are and let me call the nearest hospital

Hello, city hospital, how can I help you.

Hey… uh, my friend is unconscious she has vomited multiple times,

can you get her admitted into the emergency ward and start the
treatment right now?

Yes, please bring her to the hospital quickly.

Call connected

Hey, take her to the city hospital, they’ll admit her, I’ll be there ASAP.

After making sure that you were admitted and

are being treated, I took a sigh of relief. Knowing
that friends were attending you in the ward, I
decided to freshen up.
When I reached the hospital and enquired about
you at the reception
Hey, do you have a patient recently admitted for multiple vomits and
dizziness?

Yes, head up straight to the second floor, ward 3. She’s waiting for
you.
It felt as if everything was planned.
Finally, when I found you, you were lying on the
bed, and glucose was being administered
intravenously. Watching you in that condition
while you were crying and constant beeping of
machines made me nauseous, I felt like throwing
up. But, somehow, I managed to control my
nausea and sat beside you on your bed. I could
see the relief in your eyes when you finally saw
me.
That day, I felt a sense of responsibility towards
you, brought you a glass of juice when you said
that you were feeling hungry and when you told
me that your feet are stiff, I did not think twice
before massaging them.
When I touched your feet, I felt that finally, I am
ready to make a commitment, a commitment
towards you and that very moment, I loved
nothing more than you.
I stayed by your side the whole time, looking at
you and admiring the girl I was in love with.
 END OF CONTRADICTION

When I met you for the first time after a long

break, I never thought I was going to end up
loving you. That was, because, I was already
going through a heartbreak and I could not risk
investing my emotions into someone else. There
was a fear, what if it happens again? I was afraid
of the very idea of loving someone.
Also, a constant hope that she would return and
everything will be fine held me from moving
forward.
The idea of
loving
someone for
me, has
never been
very simple
like most
normal
people. I do
not fall in love
with someone suddenly and decide to commit.
For me, it has always been a gradual thing. I do
not just see someone and the ground beneath
my feet disappear and I start falling. It is more like
a gradually developed depression in the ground.
But that day, when I returned to my place after
leaving you to you hostel, all the contradictions
disappeared, I was ready to love you, I was
already loving you.
 THE LAST WALK

Between the end of contradictions to the end of

everything, we enjoyed a lot. But out of
everything, something that I used to enjoy even
more were the walks. So as all of it was ending,
we decided to give our end a last walk.
Our walk halted in a stadium, we sat in the
viewer’s gallery and started talking. That day, I
mustered up all my courage and poured myself
out in front of you.
I said everything that I had been keeping from
you, I kept looking at you and wanted the time to
stop, once again.
You know, when I look at you, everything in the surrounding just
fades away and when I move your hairs from your forehead to your
ears, it feels as if I have conquered the world and I need nothing
more. When we hold hands, it feels that have the most precious
treasure that even Alexander could not win.

I’m sorry that I got late, I’m sorry that I couldn’t muster up the
courage to tell you on time that yes, I’m in love with you. I’m in love
with my friend.

You know, if we ever end up together, I want you to know that usually
one of the two partners die first. Either you’ll die first or I will. If it is
you who must die first, I promise that I’ll be sitting by your side and
sing you your favourite song so that you know, all my life if I loved
someone more than anything, that was you.

And if I must die first, I still promise that I’ll sing you your favourite
song while I slowly die so that you know, I loved you till my last
breaths.

The sun was sinking deep into the darkness and

the sky was red. I remember there were a lot
mosquitoes flying above your head and I was
keeping them from biting you by fanning my
hands above your head while I talked to you.
At the end of our walk, I asked if you wanted to
have some almond shake, and you agreed and
we shared our last treat together.
 THE LAST DAY

The last day was not easy, I was packing up,

getting ready. I was leaving the city tomorrow by
an evening train, I was leaving forever.
Leaving the city was not the hardest part for me,
I hated that place anyways, leaving you was the
toughest thing.
I bought some gifts for you, some cards and
wrote in one of them that it’s not the end (I hope
it’s not) and we’ll meet again.
Chocolates, even though I knew you were not a
big fan of chocolates. But I bought them anyways
thinking that they’ll compensate for the
bitterness I had added to your life since last few
days.
And a scented candle, for if you ever felt my
absence, you could light it and it will fill your
room with the fragrance, which I believed, would
conceal you and make you feel I was there with
you. I wonder what did you do with them…
No matter how nasty the end was, the days
before all of it ended will always be persistent in
my memories, I’ll move on, fall in love again, but
a part of my heart will keep beating for you, and
you’ll always be in my memories and prayers.

The end… or maybe the beginning of a new story

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