Life Orientation

Communication

Faeeza Adam

Grade 12
Introduction:
Communication is a process of passing a message
from one person/party to another. We use verbal and non-
verbal communication to connect
with other people. Two parties are involved in the process
of communication: the sender and the
Receiver.

Objectives:
To determine:
• What is involved in communication
• Forms of non-verbal language
• How to effectively communicate

Importance of communication
At the end of Grade 12, you will join the world of work or
institutions of higher learning, and you will meet many
people for the first time. You will need effective
communication skills to start and maintain
relationships with people from different cultural groups and
backgrounds.

Understanding others
Communication is complex because there are at least two
parties involved in the communication process. You should
understand the other person as much as they should
understand you. But the other person is not the same as
you: you might be different ages, from different cultures,
social and educational backgrounds, or speak different
languages. You will not necessarily think
and feel about things in the same way. You should
never assume that you completely understand
what another person is thinking or feeling, or why
they are doing something.

Also don’t assume that they fully understand you.

The only way to make sure is to ask questions and
discuss issues. All people see the world from their
own individual perspective. This is based on their
past experiences. To understand them, try to see
things from their point of view. Get to know about
the person and his or her past experiences. Don’t
judge people; rather try to understand what
makes them the way they are.

Communicating feelings
When we communicate with others we do not
communicate just facts, we also communicate our
feelings. Every time you interact with someone, you
interact with their feelings as well as their thoughts.
Recent research has shown that communicating
feelings is essential for building and sustaining
relationships. When you don’t communicate your
feelings, you keep back essential information,
which can be important to the relationship.

Role of attitudes in communication

Attitudes refer to how we approach and relate to
people and situations. Our attitude towards
people helps determine how we communicate with
them.
Attitudes for initiating a relationship
You will find the following attitudes useful for initiating a
relationship:

 Be positive. A positive attitude creates a positive

atmosphere.
 Smile and be inviting.
 Have the confidence to initiate the process. Often the
other person is nervous to start a conversation.
 Be genuinely interested in the other person and what
they are doing.
 Be open and non-judgmental, and don’t jump to
conclusions.
 Be yourself. Don’t try to impress.

Attitudes for building and sustaining a relationship

To sustain and nurture a relationship, practise the
following:
 Be a good listener.
 If you are not sure about something, ask questions.
 Choose your words carefully. Some words can be very
hurtful.
 Be polite, patient and flexible.
 Respect other people’s feelings.
 Respect other people’s beliefs and convictions.
 Be helpful and offer help when you see a need.
 Show genuine interest in the person’s goals and assist
him or her to achieve them.
Harmful attitudes that cause breakdown in
communication
Negative attitudes create a negative atmosphere.
These are examples of harmful attitudes that you
should avoid:
●● Using sarcasm: When you make fun of
people and their ideas, people feel unhappy and
they will want to stay away from you.
●● Being a boastful ‘know it all’: Giving the
impression that you know better than others
makes people feel inferior and think that you
are arrogant.
●● Being critical: Nobody likes to be criticised
even if it’s true.
●● Blaming others: People resent being blamed
and having their faults exposed.
●● Being dominant: People resent you if they
never have a chance to talk because you are
constantly trying to outshine others.

Factors influencing effective communication

Communication and personality type are directly
related; we cannot separate people’s
personalities from the way they communicate.
Scientists have developed different ways of
classifying personalities. The Myers-Briggs Type
Indicator classifies people into four different
types:
However, people are individuals and don’t fit
perfectly into any of these types. The personality
classification is given just as a guide for facilitating
better communication according to a person’s
dominant personality qualities.
Role of values and attitudes in communication
People’s values affect the quality of communication.
Religious values, political affiliation and
cultural beliefs are important to people and most people
are sensitive towards them. Having
different values may cause difficulties in communication,
as people may misunderstand or even be offended by
what the other person says or does.

South Africa is a diverse country. We meet and work with

people of different cultures, religions
and political views. You must be sensitive towards these
diversities and make sure that you show
respect to the people you communicate with. Familiarise
yourself with the value system of the
person first and try to have an open mind about them.
Different cultures have different codes of conduct
for communication. For example:
●● in many traditional cultures, making eye contact while
talking is considered impolite. In the
Western culture eye contact is encouraged and is
considered a sign of paying attention
●● in some cultures, children are expected not to ask
questions in front of adults. At school they
are expected to ask questions.
Differences in communication styles may cause
misunderstanding and could even be seen as
insulting. To avoid such situations, get to know the
culture of people you are in contact with.
Accept that people are different and that they have the
right to hold their own values.
Guidelines for effective communication
Acceptance of responsibilities
Two parties are involved in the communication
process. Both of them must play their part to make
the communication process
effective. These guidelines will help you to take
responsibility for your part in the process of
communication:
●● Listen attentively: Focus fully on the speaker and
try to understand his or her point of view. Do not
interrupt and do not try to finish his or her
sentences. Do not think about your own things while
listening to the other person, and do not change the
topic or criticise. Keep eye contact.
●● Express yourself clearly: Explain your view
clearly using simple and familiar words. Do not
assume that others know what you want to say. Use
complete sentences with a clear voice.
●● Do not postpone what needs to be said now: If
there is an issue you need to raise or a situation that
needs to be clarified, try to deal with it as soon as
possible. The longer you wait, the harder it gets.
●● Pay attention to your body language: Be aware
of the way you speak – your intonation, gestures
and facial expressions. If you speak in an accusing
tone, the other person is likely to feel defensive
even before they have heard what you have to say.
If you use an open posture, a calm voice and
relaxed body language it helps the other person to
feel at ease and to be more responsive.
Appropriate expression of views and feelings
and respecting the feelings of others
Show respect to others’ feelings and views. Use
these guidelines to express your feelings and
views appropriately:
●● Express your negative feelings appropriately:
When you experience strong negative
emotions, such as anger, irritation, disappointment
and rejection, avoid using blaming statements.
Statements that start with ‘You’ make the other
person feel attacked. Rather, use statements that
start with ‘I’ to explain your feelings. For example,
say ‘I felt disappointed when you didn’t show up’
rather than ‘You’ve let me down again’; or ‘I feel
neglected when I am left alone at home’ rather than
saying ‘You left me alone at home, you disappointed
me again!’
●● Choose your words carefully: Wisely chosen
words help nurture the relationship. Careless
jokes and sarcasm spoil relationships.
●● Be humble and friendly: Nobody likes arrogance.
Humility and friendliness go a long way to establish
a good relationship.
●● Have empathy: Try to see things from others’
point of view: put yourself in their shoes. This will
help you to understand them.
Study the following conversation and answer
questions that follow.

Conversation
Manager: Why can’t you ever do the reports the
way I want them done?
PA: Because you keep changing your mind about
how you want them done.
Manager: No, it’s because you don’t listen to me.
You intentionally disregard my
instructions.

a) What personality type do you think the manager

has?
b) What do we need to remember when
communicating with this kind of personality
type?
c) How do you think the manager’s words are making
the assistant feel?
d) What values or attitudes are they showing to each
other?
e) Did they accept their responsibility to make
communication effective?