Could Be Worse Righ by Savage7289 (PULLED OUT)

COULD BE WORSE RIGHT?
By Savage
Could Be Worse, Right? 1 of 413

Prologue
I want a sex slave.
Fucking sue me.
I watched Kate’s delectable backside as it sauntered out of my office and out of

my life. I should have known it
wasn’t going to work from the very
beginning, when she wouldn’t even
let me open the car door or choose
the fucking wine. If she refused all
that on the first date, I probably
should have ended it after the
second. She lasted longer than the
last few, at least nearly a month.
Apparently she had decided I was
way to Neanderthal for her tastes. Neanderthal. Nice.
Maybe it was my fucked up childhood, or maybe it was just because there was
something fundamentally wrong with me. I didn’t really care. I just wanted a
beautiful woman at the beck and call of my cock. It’s not like I didn’t return the
orgasms. I’d fucked my name out of the mouth of every woman I’d been with,
and usually had them begging for more. The problem was they just weren’t
always on my time schedule. They had careers, or families or friends or
whatever that got in the way of focusing on me and what I wanted. Did that
make me a selfish prick?
Fine, it did. I didn’t fucking care.

I was not a BSDM guy, really. I didn’t have a play room full of canes and shit
like that, though I didn’t see anything wrong with some silk scarves and maybe
a pair of handcuffs. Having a woman listen to what I say and do it when I said
it, yeah – I liked that idea. The thought of having a naked woman on her knees
when I got home at night, ready to make me dinner or just bend over one of the
dining room chairs – I liked that idea, too. I especially liked it when it came to
me wanting to have a little stress relief in the form of a blow job in my office. I
just wanted a hot chick to suck me off when and where I wanted it, and maybe
be willing to take my cock up her ass. That would be a nice bonus.
Damn Kate. She didn’t even really consider that it might be fun for her, too.
I sighed and thought about calling Aro. The last three failed relationships had
resulted in the same thought, but I had been way to chicken to consider it. I
mean – he didn’t exactly run a dating business. The guy sold fucking slaves.
Even if I managed to transfer the funds without one of my numerous
accountants being all up my ass about it, it was still – in every sense of the word
– slavery. The illegality of it aside, it was just fucking wrong, wasn’t it? Did I
have any scruples left?
Aro had been at a New Year’s Eve party at the Country Club when I had just
been dumped by yet another “I’m not here to be your slave” girlfriend. I had
indulged just a bit too much Markers Mark 46 and must have spilled my
drunken guts to some degree. Aro ended up having a little private conversation
with me, and had certainly gotten my attention. I didn’t know where he got
them, and I wasn’t about to inquire. I did value my life to some degree, and I
knew when not to ask any questions.
I shook my head, silently telling myself not to entertain such ridiculous ideas. I
wasn’t going to sink as low as to support that sort of illegal trade. I had plenty of

other shady businesses to keep me a little paranoid – I didn’t need to bring my
sex life into it as well.
For some reason I thought of Tanya, my high school sweetheart, if you could
call her that. She was a strict vegetarian – refusing to eat anything that ever had
a face or a mother. It didn’t stop her from sucking my cock, but she wouldn’t
swallow, sighting the same beliefs. I always figured it was pointless – I mean,
just because she isn’t going to eat the burger doesn’t mean it wasn’t going to get
eaten. She could walk away with her moral nose in the air, but some fucker was
going to sit down and bite into that big, juicy chuck of meat. The cow was dead,
and her refusal to eat it wasn’t going to change that fact.
The girls are already slaves. They could end up with anyone who could use
them for anything. It could be some fat bastard who would beat the shit out of
them for fun, or some nutcase who makes snuff films. Shit, it really could be
something like that. If I didn’t take a bite, someone else was going to in my
place. If one of his girls didn’t end up on the end on my cock, she’d just be
servicing another.
My hand was shaking as I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and started
dialing the number. I didn’t know who she might be, or how she might have
gotten herself into such a predicament, but in some ways I would kind of be
saving her, wouldn’t I? I mean, I wasn’t interested in hurting anyone – I just
wanted to stop with the dating game and still get my rocks off whenever and
wherever I saw fit.
“Volturi here.”
“Hey Aro,” I found myself saying into the phone. “Edward Cullen here. I would
like to talk to you about a purchase.”
She had to be better off with me, right?

Chapter 2
“Good to see you again, Edward.”
I shook Aro’s cold, pale hand and sat back down with my back to the door. Aro
scooted one of the other chairs to sit next to me instead of across. The coffee
shop he had chosen for us to meet was nearly empty this time of day, and there
wasn’t anyone near us to hear the conversation. He leaned close to me anyway.
“Thought about exactly what you want?”
“Not exactly,” I admitted. “My old jeans shrunk up on me, and I need a new
pair. There are a lot of options out there – button fly, stone washed, boot cut – I
figured you could tell me what’s in style.”
Aro laughed heartily at my metaphor and tucked his long, black hair behind his
ears. A server came over and brought us both some coffee. Aro eyed her
appreciatively as she walked back to the counter.
“There is a large variety to choose from,” he said with a nod. He took a portfolio
from his briefcase along with a shiny silver pen. “We can start with the basics, if
you like. Hair color?”
“No blondes or redheads,” I said vehemently.
“Brunettes, then? Or black?” Aro chuckled and I shrugged. “No worries.”

I was limiting myself a bit, but I didn’t care. I’d dated exactly one blonde and
one redhead, and I was pretty much scarred for life. I focused back on Aro’s
questions.
“Body type?”
“Slim, but with curves, you know? Athletic build?”
“Gotcha. Eyes?”
“No preference, I guess.”
“Race?”
Again, I shrugged.
“As long as she speaks English,” I said. “I don’t really want to have to teach her
the language before I…well, before she does what I say.”
“Right, no worries.” Aro’s head bounced around like he was listening to music
inside his brain. Whatever it was, it wasn’t the Duran Duran variety muzak
being piped through the coffee shop speakers. “Demeanor?”
“Well…obedient. Isn’t that what everyone wants?”
“No,” Aro said as he raised his eyebrows at me. “Not at all.”
I determined I really didn’t want any further information on that particular

topic. We went back and forth for a few minutes on my preferences –
everything from straight teeth to real tits. Aro took a lot of notes and said “no
worries” about twenty more times. I tried not to think too much about how he
was able to accommodate so many different tastes. I started wondering about

the actual selection process – would I get to try her out? How many other guys
would have already tried her out and not wanted her, for whatever reason?
“Question,” I said.
“What is it?”
“Well, how do I know that she’ll be…well…clean? “ I held up my hands

defensively. “Not that I believe you wouldn’t have her tested or whatever, but if
they’re with a lot of people before me…well, you understand why I could be
concerned.”
“No worries,” Aro said as he marked up another little note onto his form. “Want
a virgin?”
“Shit, seriously? You can do that?”
“Of course.” He nodded and kept writing. I fiddled with the little napkin under
my untouched coffee. “That is what you want, correct?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. Damn.
“It will cost you more, but I don’t think that’s really an issue, is it?”
“Not really.”
“Good.” Aro sat back and looked up and down at the notes he had taken while
we talked. He leaned back, scratched something off the sheet, and then wrote a
minute longer. I was starting to fidget, and it was hard to stop once my leg
started bouncing up and down. “She’ll come already on the birth control shot,
but you’ll have to keep it maintained if you don’t want to breed any new little
slaves.”
“Okay.” I cringed.
“Hymen intact?”
“Fuck!” Maybe I wasn’t ready to do something like this. Just the questions
were kind of freaking me out a little. I mean, I hadn’t thought about any of this.

How does a virgin end up as a sex slave? Did that even make sense? Wasn’t it
kind of an oxymoron or something? Did I want to know?
No, I didn’t.
“Let me ask a different question,” Aro said. “It may help you answer the last
one. How old do you want her to be? It’s hard to come up with a girl like that
without going pretty young.”
“Eighteen,” I responded. I swallowed hard, and my chest felt tight. I grabbed a

pack of cigarettes out of my jacket pocket and glared up at the no smoking sign.
“Do you think we could take this outside for a sec?”
“You go ahead, and I’ll get the paperwork finished up. We’re almost done here
anyway.”
I pushed open the door to the patio area and lit up as I leaned against the brick
wall. What the fuck was I doing? The implication of Aro’s questions was…
well…horrific. I took a deep drag off the smoke and ran my free hand through
my hair. I wanted this, I knew I did – I just didn’t want to have to think about it
as well. I just wanted a nice, docile, beautiful chick who would drop to her
knees at a word and beg for my cock on a regular basis. Someone who wouldn’t
just fucking walk out on me when I asked for one, simple, sexual favor.
Someone who would always be there for me, whenever I wanted her. Someone
who wouldn’t leave me. Ever.
I took a final drag and tossed the butt into the ashtray by the door. I was going
to do this, damn it. I deserved a little something, didn’t I? For all the shit cards
life has dealt me thus far? Fuck yes, I did. I walked back in and sat myself
down.

“So, eighteen?” Aro looked up at me, and I nodded.
“At least.”
“No problem, but most girls don’t have a hymen at that age.”
“That’s…um…fine,” I stammered.
He started writing again.
“Need another coffee?” The server came back to the table and looked through
her lashes at me.
“No thanks,” Aro answered for us both. “We’re just about done here.”
“Let me know if I can get you anything else.” She walked off, leaving the check
behind.
“One more question,” Aro said, “and then we’ll be done here.”
“Yes?”
“I’ve got several that will meet your requirements,” Aro said, his voice low. His
nonchalance was kind of disturbing. “Some of them cry a lot, and some of them
don’t. They’ll all still fit your other requirements. Fuck them whenever you
want, make them do all kinds of shit – they won’t complain. It’s just that some of
them will cry the whole time, and some won’t. You like it when they cry?”
“Fuck…” the word escaped without my permission. My chest tightened up

again, and suddenly one cigarette wasn’t enough. I pushed all the thoughts out
of my head again. “Uh…no, I don’t want one that cries.”
“Give me about a month,” Aro said as he stood, effectively ending our

discussion as he took his notes and walked out of the coffee shop.

I spent the next twenty six days jacking off, refusing a handful of dates, because
I didn’t want to have to end any kind of relationship when the time came. Aro
finally called one morning while I was at my office.
“There’s a little restaurant on the corner of Walnut and Tenth Street,” he said
when I answered. “Meet me at one-o-clock for lunch.”
He hung up, and I took a long, deep breath before grabbing my jacket off the
back of the chair and heading out the door.
This was good news, right?

Chapter 3:
Aro was already there in the quaint little sandwich shop, ordering pastrami on
rye to go. He didn’t acknowledge me when I walked in, though he did turn in
my direction, so he must have seen me. I stood beside him and ordered my own
sandwich, also to go. I was handed a small paper sack just as Aro finished filling
up his fountain drink, and I followed him as he walked out the door and into the
back parking lot. I took a deep breath as I reached for the door to the
restaurant, figuring there really wasn’t any turning back at this point. For a
moment, I thought I had lost him completely as I came around the corner and
didn’t see him anywhere, and I felt somewhat relieved. Then, from the open
window of a stretch limo, I could see Aro sticking his head out and calling to
me. I altered my course, wiping my sweaty palms on my jacket as I walked over
and climbed into the back.
My heart was pounding a little as I eased in and immediately saw a young

woman on her knees on the floor of the limo. Her head was bowed, and her long
dark hair hung in shining waves down her back and around her shoulders. She
was dressed in a dark blue top with a V shaped neckline, which exposed the
rounded tops of her breasts, but not in an obscene way at all. She wore a
flowing black skirt that billowed around her legs, hiding the lower half of her
underneath the cloth. Her fingers rested on top of her knees. She was small,
young, and incredibly beautiful.
“I aim to please,” Aro said softly. My eyes darted to his, then back the girl at our
feet. “Looks about right, I take it?”

“Perfect,” I replied. I meant it, too. I didn’t realize I had a girl of my dreams
until I looked down at my feet, but I did – and she was right here, waiting for
me to buy her. Fucking hell.
“All your requirements met,” Aro said with a smile. “She’s a good girl, and
knows her place. I think you’ll be quite happy with her. If not, well, there is a
return policy, per se. If you fuck her first, she loses value. I’d have to charge you
a…restocking fee, if you will.”
I could only nod. She hadn’t moved, not even flinched when Aro talked about
me fucking her. My mind was already wondering just how she would look on
the floor of my apartment, kneeling by in front of me while I sat in my favorite
chair. She could look up at me and run her tongue over her lips, silently begging
me to let her get her mouth on my cock. I swallowed hard, and forced my
thoughts to divert before I embarrassed myself.
“How old is she?”
“She’ll be nineteen in September. “
I wondered how she felt about being sold to a guy who was closer to thirty than
to twenty. Before I could wonder about that any more, one more image went
through my head – in this one, she was running away from me, screaming and
crying that she didn’t want this…that she didn’t want me. Whatever starts of an
erection I was getting from the previous thought was immediately countered by
the latter.
“Question.” I licked my lips and swallowed. “How do I know she won’t try to…
leave?”

“She won’t,” Aro said with authority. “She knows better than that. If for some
reason she lost all her senses, she’s also chipped so we can always locate her, and
she knows it.”
“Good idea,” I heard myself say. It was, too. Kind of sick, but still a good idea. I
breathed a sigh of relief. She would really be mine – she wasn’t going to try to
leave.
“So, you want a better look? Want her to blow you before you decide? Her
pussy and ass are totally virgin, but she’s learned to be a good little cocksucker.”
Her lip twitched just the smallest amount, barely noticeable at all. I might not
have noticed if I hadn’t been staring at her so intently, or if she had made any
other moves what-so-ever since I got in the car.
“No, I don’t need to do that,” I told him. “I’ll take her.”
“Fantastic.” Aro sat up and pulled some paperwork out of his portfolio. Five
minutes and a substantial amount of money later, I owned the girl at my feet.
Oh fuck. It was real now, really real. I just bought I slave. I bought a fucking
sex slave.
My heart started pounding again. I had to get a grip on myself. She still hadn’t
moved, not a fucking inch. She hadn’t said anything, she hadn’t moved, and I
just bought her anyway. She was mine. She was my property and I could
whatever I wanted to with her. She would do anything for me, because she
knew she was mine. Why? Why would she let this happen to her? I felt Aro’s
hand on my forearm.

“One final rule,” Aro said, as if he was reading my thoughts through his fingers
on my arm. “She will do anything and everything you say. Do whatever you
want with her – it doesn’t make any difference to me. Kill her off if you get tired
of her, just let me know so I can write her off the books. Same goes if you resell
her. But don’t ask her where she came from or how she got here. She won’t tell
you, and it’s none of your goddamned business. It’s the one and only rule of
mine both you and she must obey. You understand that, don’t you Bella?”
“Yes, Master.”
Fuck. I hadn’t even asked her name. Bella. Beautiful Bella.
“Call me Sir,” Aro corrected. “Edward is your Master now.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said quickly. This time her fingers twitched on her knees.
She didn’t look up.
“Got it, Cullen?
“Yeah…” I said, looking over to him with narrowed eyes. “Mind telling me
exactly why?”
“Simple business protection,” Aro said with a shrug. “When I buy WMD
components from you, I don’t ask you who your supplier is. You don’t need the
rule, because what you trade doesn’t talk back.”
“Point taken.” I glared at him. If nothing else, my curiosity was going drive me
nuts, but I also saw his point. I didn’t reveal my sources, and neither would he.
For whatever reason – and I might never know what that is – she wasn’t going
to tell me, either. That much was clear.

“Some of them come willingly, Edward,” Aro said as he stared in my eyes. “Just
like some of the hardware you sell ends up on the moral side of a revolution.
Just tell yourself she’s one of the willing, you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, sure,” I responded.
He reached over and shook my hand.
“Pleasure doing business with you, Edward – as always.”
“You too,” I said, but my eyes were still on my slave. My Bella.
“Edward’s going to take you to your new home now, Bella,” Aro said to her.
“You be a good girl for him, or he might return you.”
She moved then – or at least her eyes did. She looked up to me with big, wide
brown eyes.
“I’ll be good, Master. I promise.”
I reached out my hand, and she took it without hesitation. I directed her out of
the back of the limo and over to my Audi, parked around front. I opened to
door for her, and she bowed her head in appreciation, acceptance, and
obedience.
This was going to be fantastic, right?

Chapter 4:
“Angela, cancel whatever I have schedule this afternoon and hold all my calls. I
won’t be back in the office today.”
“Of course, Mr. Cullen. Will you be in tomorrow?”
“Possibly. I’ll let you know.”
I ended the call, and glanced over at my slave.
My slave. Holy shit
As far as I could tell, only the quality of the road surface caused Bella to move
in the slightest. She sat in the passenger seat as still as she could possibly be.
She kept her eyes on the floor in front of her, never even glancing out the
window as we pulled out of the parking lot, down the street and onto the
freeway.
I, on the other hand, could barely keep my eyes on the road at all. I kept looking
at her. Everything about her was captivating. The way her hair lay over her
shoulders – which I wanted to touch. The way the tight fabric of her shirt
framed the top of her breasts – which I wanted to touch. The way her skirt had
slipped slightly between her legs, so I could see them outlined – which I wanted
to touch, or at least see.
Well, there wasn’t any reason I couldn’t at least see them, was there?
“Pull up your skirt,” I said.

“How far, Master?”
I wondered idiotically what her response would have been if I had said “jump.”
“I want to see your legs.”
She reached down and grasped the edge of her skirt with both hands, pulling it
up to the top of her thighs – all the way to where I could see the slightest hint of
lacy white panties. Her long, pale legs were beautifully shaped, and my cock
apparently agreed, since it seemed to want to stand up to get a better look. I
reached over with my right hand and touched her thigh with my fingertips,
immediately enamored with how silky smooth her skin was. My hand wrapped
a little farther around, so my palm could get a little of the action as well, and I
squeezed her thigh gently. My pinkie finger reached out to touch the edge of her
panties.
“Fuck!”
A loud, rumbling noise echoed through the car, and I placed my hand back on
the wheel and steered out of the median and off the damn road hiccups as the
guy behind me blared his horn. I tried to get my breathing back under control
as I gripped the wheel with one hand and ran the other through my hair. I
glanced back at Bella quickly, and saw her eyes wide and one of her hands

covering her mouth while the other was grasping the edge of her seat. She
looked like she was holding her breath.
“I’m sorry, Master,” Bella whispered.
“Sorry?” I asked. “Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry if I distracted you, Master – I didn’t mean to.”
“You are distracting,” I mumbled, then spoke up. “But I’m the one holding the
wheel.”
“Yes, Master.”
I sighed and wondered – not for the first time – what the fuck I thought I was
doing. Again – not for the first time – I pushed those kinds of thoughts out of
my head. Prepared or not, the big part of this was already a done deal. I owned
her. She was mine. My responsibility.
I let that thought push out the other ones while I merged back over to the right.
She was my responsibility, completely and totally. I’d have to give her
everything she needed.
“Fuck!” I yelled again, and for the first time, I saw her jump a bit. “Goddamn-
it!!”
I hadn’t prepared anything for her. I didn’t have any clothes for her or even a
fucking toothbrush. I punched the gas and took the next exit that led to the
nearest mall. If nothing else, I probably needed to be off the damn highway, just
to get my thoughts in order. I pulled into the mall parking lot near the Macy's,
and parked out as far away from the door as I could. Since it was the middle of
the week in the middle of the afternoon, the mall didn’t appear to be too
crowded, so I found a spot without any other cars around and stopped.

I tried to collect myself a bit, and then looked over to her. Her skirt was still up
high on her legs, her hands were placed delicately on her knees, and her eyes
were on the floor of the car.
“Look at me,” I said, and she complied immediately. I could feel my lungs
struggling for enough oxygenated blood to supply both of my heads, but I didn’t
think it was really working. I looked at her face more closely, her lovely
cheekbones, gorgeous, deep brown eyes and her full lips. I reached my hand out
and palmed her cheek, then ran my thumb over her cheekbone, then her lips.
“You are a beautiful girl, Bella.”
She didn’t respond, just kept her eyes trained to mine. I could see the slight
swell of her chest as she breathed in quick, shallow breaths. I wanted to kiss
her, and felt my tongue dart out over my lips. I hesitated, and then realized I
could kiss her. I could do whatever I wanted with her. I could lean the seat back
and fuck her right here in the parking lot if I wanted to.
At least a little of that oxygen must have been reaching the head on top of my
shoulders, because I didn’t think moving quite that fast was the very best idea. I
did move my hand to her chin, lean over the seat, and take her mouth with
mine.
Her lips were soft, warm, and she tasted like heaven. She kissed me back,
quietly and tentatively, but I could still discern the pressure from her lips. She
opened them slightly, and I took the invitation to explore her mouth with my
tongue. She tilted her head minutely, allowing me better access to deepen the
kiss, but I pulled back to look at her instead. Her eyes opened, and she must
have let some of her guard down a little, because I was fear in them for the first
time.
But I didn’t want her to be afraid of me, right?

Chapter 5:
“I’m not going to hurt you,” I said to her. The look she had before – the one
showing her fear – disappeared immediately, but I wasn’t so sure I could really
trust it, so I reiterated. “I mean it. I don’t have any intention of hurting you at
all. Do you believe me?”
“Yes, Master.”
Huffing out my nose, I sat back in my seat and ran my fingers through my hair.
I hadn’t thought about this – not any of this. All I had thought about was getting
what I wanted, but there was a lot more to this, and I was more than a little out
of my element. But still, ultimately, this was a business deal. Gather the
requirements and make it happen. I let my business mind kick in, and started
with the basics.
“We need to get you some clothes,” I told her. “And whatever else you are going
to need, so we’re going shopping.”
“Yes, Master.”
Okay, that had to stop, at least for now. Not that I didn’t like it, because fucking
hell I did.
“No more ‘master’ while we’re inside, got it? When we are in public, you call me
Edward.”
“Yes, Master. I will call you Edward.”
“Good girl.” The words seemed to visibly relax her, if only slightly. “Once we
have what you need, we’ll go home, all right?”

“Yes, Master.”
“Let’s go.”
As soon as we walked in, I knew I had no idea what-so-ever about what to buy
her. My business brain kicked in again – clothes, shoes, toiletries…what else?
Shit, should I buy her a collar?
Taking a deep breath, I pulled her into the first shop I saw that seemed to have a
lot of women’s clothing in it. Bella trailed behind me, her hand in mine. I walked
with purpose to a rack of dresses, and asked her what she liked. Her wide eyes
peered up at me again, and I saw the fear return.
“You want to buy me clothes here?” Her voice was so soft I could hardly hear
her, and I was almost certain her eyes were starting to tear up. Before I could
respond, a sales woman walked up to us.
“Hello there!” she said with a frighteningly gigantic smile. She addressed Bella.
“Why dear, you aren’t even showing yet! How far along are you?”
Oh, holy shit, no.
I’d walked into a maternity shop.
I blithered like an idiot for a few minutes before getting us the hell out of there.
I sat us both down by one of those little bubbling fountains full of pennies and
ran my hands through my hair. Damn, if this wasn’t going to make me go bald.
I’d had far less frustrating deals involving arms to guerillas than dealing with
one, young woman in my care.

I had no fucking clue what I was doing.
“I guess I should have read the damn sign over the door, huh?”
I looked over, and saw Bella’s hands were shaking.
“Hey,” I said, and I took one of her hands in mine. I remembered the look on
her face when we first walked into the shop, and realized what must have been
going through her head. “Shit, I’m sorry – I just didn’t look. I’m not going to…I
mean, I don’t plan on…on…”
Fuck.
This really wasn’t going well. Thankfully, there was another clothing store right
across from us, full of mannequins wearing trendy jeans and T-shirts.
“Let’s just go over there and get you a few things to get you by, and I’ll find
someone to help you get the rest later, okay?”
“Yes, Edward.”
Two pairs of jeans, a couple of vintage-looking T-shirts and a pair of sneakers

later, I thought we were ready to go. Then I saw a drug store, and realized I
hadn’t gotten her anything for the bathroom, so I dragged her through the aisles
of a Walgreens until I had all the basics covered. I’d have to find someone a little
more feminine to take her shopping. Who the hell would that be?
“Damn...you need panties and bras and shit, too – don’t you?”

A middle-aged woman with a horrible haircut glared at me from behind a rack
of shampoo.
“If that is your wish, Edward.”
“Fuck.”
That one earned me a humph from the shampoo woman. I took Bella’s hand
again and paid for her stuff.
Victoria’s Secret was next. What the hell was supposed to be secret about it,
anyway? I mean, most of it was completely see through! I had never been in
such a place, and had no fucking idea what to do.
“Can you just pick some things out?” I asked her. My voice was starting to
betray my frustration and general lack of knowledge when it came to women’s
undergarments.
“What do you want me to have?” Bella asked. Her eyes were wide again, but at
least there wasn’t anything worse than apprehension in them.
“I have no fucking clue what to even call most of this shit!” I exclaimed as I
threw my hands up in the air.
The weirdest fucking thing happened at that point. It was tiny and brief and
wouldn’t even have been noticed if I hadn’t been really paying attention to her
expressions, but it was there.

Her mouth twitched into the very faintest of smiles - tight lipped, like she was
trying to stifle a laugh. Along with it, her eyes twinkled ever so slightly.
This is progress, right?
Chapter 6:
I was never, ever going back to a mall again. I was going to come up with some
woman I could trust to take Bella shopping. I had no idea who it was going to
be, but I was going to come up with someone. Bella had managed to select a
couple of bra and panty sets, and had then brought them to me for my approval.
One set was black, the other blue. I just nodded and told her they were fine,
bought them, and got the fuck out of there. With the bags loaded into the
backseat, I drove Bella back to my apartment while trying to get my jumbled
thoughts to form some kind of order in my head.
Obviously, I hadn’t thought all this through. That was a given. Now that I had
my head back on straight – at least, comparatively – where did I need to go from
here? I bought her for a reason, and that reason was still completely clear in my
mind. I wanted to fuck her. I wanted her lips wrapped around my dick and I
wanted her naked in my apartment so she was readily available for me any time
I wanted to get off. I never wanted to use my hand in the shower by myself
again. If I was going to jack off in the shower, I wanted her hand on my cock,
not mine.
I wanted her to do what I told her to do, when I told her to do it. I wanted her
to have dinner on the table when I walked in the door, and I wanted her to smile
when she head to reheat it because I decided to fuck her beforehand. That was

why I wanted a sex slave in the first place. I still wanted all of that, and now I
had her here to fulfill my every wish, my every fantasy. What I didn’t know, was
all the other stuff that went with owning a slave. What would she do while I was
at work? Aro was pretty confident that she wouldn’t try to leave, but was she
just going to sit around and wait for me, thinking up new ways to please me? Is
that what I wanted?
Yeah…kind of.
Like I said – fucking sue me.
There wasn’t much of anything I wanted to do more than take her into my great
room and have her kneeling between my legs, sucking my cock. But I also
realized I was going to have to talk to her first. I needed to work out some
ground rules, or I was going to keep floundering. I needed her to know I wasn’t
going to hurt her. Yeah, she was still mine, and she wasn’t going anywhere, but I
wasn’t going to beat her or anything like that. I didn’t want her to think I would.
I pulled the Audi into its parking space in the underground garage, nodded to
Mike, the doorman, and hauled both Bella and the packages up to my
penthouse.

My apartment wasn’t incredibly ostentatious. It was big – way too big for one
person, but not ridiculous. It was way below my means, really, but I had to keep
up appearances. If I lived as high as I could, it would be pretty obvious that my
legitimate company and its hi-tech gadgetry weren’t doing nearly as well as I
seemed to be doing personally.
Bella continued to keep her eyes to the floor as I brought her inside and
deposited all the bags on the couch in the great room. I was still a little
apprehensive since the mall trip fiasco, and I plopped myself down in my
favorite, overstuffed chair and let my head drop back against the cushion. I felt
Bella’s presence near my leg more so than actually hearing her move.
I looked down to find her kneeling next to the chair on some side of my legs.
Her hands were back on her knees, and her eyes were cast down – just as she
had been in the limo. Her hair was falling over the sides of her face, and I had to
reach out and touch it – just long enough to tuck it behind her ear. It was so
soft, if felt like strands of silk through my fingers. I leaned forward a bit and
stroked her hair from the top of her head to half way down her back, where it
ended.
Still, she remained perfectly motionless.
I sat up a little more, so I could reach her better. I stroked down her hair again,
but didn’t stop when I got to the end. I let my hand go a little farther, until I
reached her waist and the hem of her shirt. I slipped two of my fingers inside,
just to feel the softness of her skin on her back, and then sat back in the chair
again.
“We should probably talk a bit, huh?” I said, as much to myself as to her.

“If you wish, Master.” Her voice was so soft, she was hard to hear.
“You know why I bought you?”
“Yes, Master.”
“I bought you for a very specific reason,” I told her frankly. No point in beating
around the bush, as they say. “I want someone to be ready for me anytime I feel
like it. This is about the sex for me, and having you do what I want you to do.
But I’m not a sadist, and I don’t want to beat you up, okay?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Do you believe me, or are you just saying that?”
She hesitated for the first time, unsure of what to say. I reached out and placed
my fingers around her chin, turning her head towards me so she was looking
straight at me.
“I expect you to tell me the truth, Bella.”
“Yes, Master.”
“Do you believe me?”
“I…I want to, Master,” she said quietly.
“So you don’t get off on pain?” The bluntness of my question must have
surprised her a bit, because she paused with her mouth open slightly before
answering me.
“No, Master,” she finally admitted, and then quickly amended. “But I am here
for you, and whatever you want. If you wish to…to do such things, I will do as
you ask. I promise, I will be good, Master.”
“I told you, I’m not a sadist.”

“Yes…I’m sorry, Master.”
“You don’t have to say ‘master’ at the end of every phrase. Only when you need
to address me specifically.”
She hesitated again, and I could see the confusion in her eyes now.
“What should I say?”
“Just talk to me, Bella. Tell me something about you. How long have you been a
slave?”
Her eyes went wide with fear again, and she shook her head slightly.
“I’m sorry, Master, but I am not to speak of such things. If you need to punish
me, I will accept whatever-”
“Enough,” I cut her off and released her chin. I leaned back in my chair and
tugged at my hair. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do now. I
just wanted someone to fuck. I wasn’t expecting all these other issues to come
up as well. I didn’t have time for this shit. I just wanted to get laid. Constantly.
On demand. Now.
Fuck.
“I have no idea what I’m doing,” I grumbled and rubbed my fingers into the
corners of my eyes. “I should just call Aro and have him take you back. This
was a mistake.”
I felt her hands grip my thighs as she raised herself up on her knees in front of
me. Her eyes met mine, and the sheer terror I saw there was far beyond any of
the subtle looks she had given me before.

“Please, Master – please!” she begged. “Please don’t send me back! I swear I’ll
be however you want me to be, just please, please keep me!”
Holy shit.
“You can take me right now,” she said, and a moment later she had pulled her
shirt up and over her head before placing her hands back on my legs. “Let me
suck your cock, please. I’ll show you how good I can be. I promise, I swear-”
“Whoa! Bella! Relax!” I sat up straighter in my chair, and reached out to grip
her by the shoulders and trying not to let the sight of her beautiful, nearly bare
torso get the better of me. The urge to sit back and let her do exactly what she
was suggesting as a very, very strong one.
Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, and her eyes continued to plead with me. I
had no idea what Aro or his associates might have done to her. Truthfully, I
wasn’t sure I wanted to know, I only knew that the idea that he might have hurt
her – hurt my slave – fucking pissed me off. She was obviously frightened out of
her mind at the very mention of being sent back to him.
Fuck that.
She was mine. My slave. My Bella. She didn’t want to go back, and I sure as
hell wasn’t going to send her back for some other asshole to get a taste of her.
No fucking way.
I wasn’t a monster, right?

Chapter 7:
“I’ll keep you.”
Bella dropped her head down and closed her eyes as she breathed heavily
through her mouth.
“Thank you , Master.”
I took a couple long breaths myself and tried to figure out my next steps. I had
exactly what I wanted – now I just needed to figure out what came next. One
thing I did know – things were not going to be business as usually around here
for a while. I grabbed my phone.
“Mr. Cullen?”
“Angela, I’m taking the rest of the week off. I should be back Monday. If there
is anything that absolutely can’t wait, call, but otherwise just deal with whatever
it is, okay?”
“No problem, Mr. Cullen.”
Okay, the easy stuff was out of the way. Now for the hard stuff. I glanced down
at my phone and saw it was already after six in the evening. Bella was still
kneeling in front of me with her hands on my legs, back to her unmoving state. I
tossed the phone onto the side table and ran my hand through her hair again.
“Can you cook?” I asked.
“Yes, Master.”

“Good – see what you can find to cook us for dinner.”
“Yes, Master.”
She rose quickly and headed up the four stairs to the kitchen area. I watched as
she first opened the refrigerator, checked what was there, and then started
opening up other cabinets to figure out just what I had in the apartment to eat. I
wasn’t really sure – I just needed to think without her distracting hands and
hair. Of course, with her shirt now discarded on the floor, she was walking
around in the kitchen with only a white lace bra on the top. Distraction came
again pretty quickly.
“Bella,” I called out. She turned immediately to face me. “Take off your skirt,
too.”
“Yes, Master,” she replied – of course – and she slipped her skirt down to the
floor, stepped out of it, and hung it carefully over the seat of one of the island
chairs.
I was most definitely distracted now, as well as

hard as a rock. What the fuck was I thinking,
asking her to do that? All right – stupid
question. Now she was in a white lacy bra and
panties only, because she must have discarded
her shoes as well as her skirt, and she was
cooking me dinner.
The caveman in me, or at least the Cleaver in

me, could not have been more thrilled.

Starting with her bare feet, I let myself take in the curves of her ankles and
calves. She had beautifully shaped legs, which ran on up to a perfectly delicious
looking ass, mostly covered by those lacy panties. Her back looked smooth and
straight, and I absolutely loved the way her hair swished back and forth as she
moved from one pot to the other. With her back to me, I didn’t have nears as
good of a look at her tits, but I probably didn’t need that much of a distraction
anyway.
After a few minutes of watching her, and licking my lips like a starving man, I
managed to focus my thoughts again. She was mine, and she was going to stay
mine. I bought her for a reason, and that reason hadn’t changed. I just freaked
myself out a little when I realized how ill prepared I was for the whole thing. It
didn’t matter at this point – I’d get prepared right now.
The guest room across from my bedroom would be the place she could put her
clothes and have her own space. It was blandly decorated, but she could change
it how she likes. She’d still be sleeping with me, but she could stay in that room
when she was out of town or if one of us was sick or something. She obviously
knew her was around the kitchen from the tomato sauce-y smells coming from
the other room, so I didn’t think eating was going to be an issue. She could go to
the grocery store and get whatever she wanted to make.
“Bella, can you drive a car?”
“Yes, Master.”
“Good.”
She could get groceries herself, and if I couldn’t get away from the office at
noon, she could bring me lunch and a blowjob. Perfect.
Well, this was what I wanted, right?

Chapter 8
Baked ziti became my new favorite food that night.
I didn't do a lot of cooking myself, sticking to only the very basic of meals that
could either be prepared in the microwave or in a single pan – dumped straight
from a box along with a cup of milk and a half stick of butter. Anything else was
out of my league. When your parents ditch you at the age of fifteen, you don't
tend to get a lot of domestic training.
Bella seemed a little shocked when I told her to sit at the table and eat with me,
but once she did, it was obvious she was completely ravenous. I would have
asked her when the last time she ate was, but I knew I wouldn't react well to the
information, so I decided not to ask at all. Afterwards, she cleaned up
everything, got the dishwasher going, and then immediately knelt down beside
my chair again.
My mind had been far too busy trying to figure everything out as we ate, but
once she was on her knees next to me again, clad only in her virgin white
underclothes, my body began to remind me exactly what I wanted out of all of
this. For a while, I just looked at her, watching her completely still state in front
of me and wondering what the hell I was going to do next. I wanted her. There
was absolutely no question about that. I wanted her in my bed and on my cock
in the worst possible way.
Fighting the urge to just whip it out and start stroking myself, I took about four
hundred slow, deep breaths, closed my eyes, and tried to remember what
needed to be done first.

"Let's get you settled in, shall we?"
"Yes, Master."
"Come on then," I said as I reached out for her hand. She laid her fingers into
my palm, and I helped her up from the floor, and then led her back into the
guest room across the hall from my bedroom, grabbing the bags of clothing I
had already purchased for her along the way.
Bella's eyes wandered around the room – from the bed, to the dresser and closet
door, and then to the window overlooking the city.
"This room is yours," I told her. "You can do anything you want with it. I can
have it painted or whatever you want to make it more…um…comfortable for
you?"
She looked at me briefly, and then dropped her eyes to the floor.
"Is it okay?" I asked.
"This is where I will sleep?" she asked quietly.
"No," I said. "You'll sleep with me. My room is across the hall."
She nodded.
"I go out of town on business sometimes, though," I said. "If you don't go with
me, you could sleep here then, if you like."
"Yes, Master."

She looked around the room again, and I became distinctly aware of her
quickened breathing and the slight shaking in her hands. She must have realized
it, too, because she clasped her hands in front of her to try to make them stop.
She had her back to me, and I reached out to place my hands on her shoulders
before trailing my fingers down her bare arms. She flinched just a little,
surprised by my touch.
"You are too beautiful to have you so far from me at night," I told her. My heart
was beginning to pound in my chest, and if I had taken a half step forward, my
growing erection would have been pressed into her back. I ran my hands back
up to her shoulders and slowly turned her around to face me.
It was the first really good look at her I had indulged. My eyes moved from her
shoulders, down to her partially exposed breasts, her flat stomach, curved hips
and beautifully shaped long legs, and back up again to her eyes, still downcast.
She was an incredible thing to behold.
"I think it's time for bed," I heard myself murmur.
"Yes, Master," she replied. She nodded and I could see her chest rise in a deep
breath.
"Do you want some time to yourself first?" I asked. I reached up and placed my
fingers under her chin, tilting her head to look up at me. "There's a bathroom
right next door, and another one off of my room. If you want to, you could take
a shower or something first."
First.
When I said the word her eyes shifted away from mine for the briefest moment.
"Is that what you would like, Master?"

"I'm asking you what you would like."
"I want whatever you wish, Master."
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair again.
This was going to get easier, right?
Chapter 9
That was when the very first brilliant thought appeared in my head since I had
decided to buy a slave in the first place.
Because this wasn't going to be easy, was it? Whatever may have happened to
her before she got here – either by choice or not – she was only going to do
what she thought I wanted her to do. I had to give her a way of expressing
herself so that I knew what she was thinking.
"How about we try something?" I suggested.
Her eyes found mine again, and her head nodded slightly.

"If I ask you a question, and you don't know what I want from you, you can
answer me in two ways." Her eyes narrowed in confusion. "If it is something
you want to do, you say 'if you wish, Master.' If it is something you do not want
to do, you say 'only if you wish, Master.' That way, it's my choice as to what you
do, but I'll still know your preference. Make sense?"
Bella's mouth parted slightly, and she let a breath of air escape her lips and she
shoulders dropped. The immediate relaxation in her face and shoulders was so
evident; it made me realize just how nervous she had been before.
"Yes, Master."
"Good girl," I said and smiled. The corners of her mouth turned up just slightly
at my words.
"So, do you want to have some time to yourself – take a shower, whatever you
want?
"If you wish, Master." This time her smile was much more evident.
I smiled again, and reached up to touch her face and slowly stroke her cheek
with my thumb. Her eyes dropped to the ground again, but I could have sworn
she leaned into my hand the very tiniest amount. It was subtle, but still
noticeable to my sensitive hands. Completely unable to help myself, I bent over
and gently touched my lips to hers.
"I'll come for you in an hour.
Five minutes later, I was I the shower, taking care of myself – again.
I hated jacking off.

It was just so mechanical and always gave me a nearly sterile feeling, like
brushing my teeth or trimming my fingernails or just eating incredibly bland
food. It gave me the release I needed, but the feeling I was left with was hollow
and empty.
It just made me feel alone.
I washed up, toweled off and shaved just to give me something to do for a few
minutes while I tried to clear my head and forget that there was a beautiful
woman – probably naked in her own shower by now – not thirty feet away from
me. I had only managed to waste about twenty minutes by the time I walked out
of my bathroom and pulled on some lounge pants. I ran my hands through my
towel-dried hair, and decided I needed a little relaxation help, so I headed for
the wet bar.
I poured myself a shot of Makers Mark 46 and sat down. After it was gone, I
went out to the balcony and had myself a cigarette. Then I went back to the
bathroom to brush my teeth again, and then I grabbed another shot from the
bar. I didn't know what I was so nervous about – I wasn't this nervous on other
first dates, if that's what this was.
Fifty-seven minutes after I left her room, I was standing back at the door trying
to figure out if I should knock or not. Finally I did, just a couple of times before
I grabbed the knob and turned it. I opened the door slowly, and Bella was there
in the center of the room wearing the blue bra and panty set she had picked out
at Victoria's Secret. Not surprisingly, she was kneeling on the floor with her
hands on her thighs and her head down. The color against her pale skin was
made her absolutely, unequivocally stunning.
Now what?

What was the proper protocol when you were collecting your slave for the first
night of…of…well, of whatever was going to happen here? I hadn't actually
managed to get to this part of the plan, and I was kind of playing all of this by
ear.
That's worked out so far, right?
Chapter 10
"Come with me," I said – finally managing to get some actually words out of my
mouth. Bella stood and followed me out of her room and into the great room,
where I finished my drink and took a couple hundred more deep, cleansing
breaths. Where was my yoga instructor when I needed her? I picked up another
glass and held it up. "Want a drink?"
About four seconds after the words were out of my mouth, I realized she wasn't
actually old enough to drink, legally. I wondered if I could get in trouble for
that, and nearly spit out my own drink when I realized how ludicrous a thought
that was. I bought a slave, and I was concerned about getting into trouble for
giving her a drink.
Genius doesn't even begin to describe me.
"Only if you wish, Master," Bella said softly. I looked to her and smiled, glad she
not only remembered, but used it as well. I placed the glass back on the counter
and moved to stand in front of her. The little blue panties were definitely going
to be the death of me. I wanted to kiss her along the hem of them, and then

maybe slide them down her legs and see how pretty the panties were lying on
the floor. Bet the bra would look nice lying next to them.
Unlike Bella's panties, I was feeling a little ambivalent about the lounge pants I
was wearing. While they were nice and roomy – easily accommodating my rock
hard cock, they also made it pretty darn obvious I was sporting the king of
boners. Bella had gone all still again, and considering her downcast eyes, I had
the feeling she hadn't missed it. I reached out and cupped her face, angling her
head to look up at me. When her eyes met mine, I couldn't decide what exactly I
saw there. Nervousness? Apprehension? Resignation?
Shyness?
I leaned in and kissed her again lightly, like I had before her shower, but I left
my mouth just barely touching hers as I reached out with my tongue and tasted
her lips. They were warm and tasted minty as she opened her mouth for me. I
touched her tongue with mine, opening my mouth more and curling my hand
around the back of her head. As I pulled her closer, I felt her hands against my
chest before they moved upwards to my shoulders and around my neck.
My free hand rested on her hip, and I resisted the urge to grip her harder and
pull her against me. Instead, my fingers played with the edge of those little blue
panties, literally twitching to get inside. Retreating from her mouth, I kissed her
lips once more before pulling away.
My eyes drifted downward to the tops of her breasts as my hand moved up from
her hip, over her side, and slowly cupped her. I felt her shiver, but I couldn't
take my eyes away from where my hand was. I ran my thumb over the top edge
of her bra, then a little lower, circling her nipple and feeling it pebble under my
touch as Bella took in a sharp breath.

I looked back to her eyes then, and they were so wide and beautiful, I could
hardly stand to look at them. The strangest thing was she looked more surprised
than apprehensive now.
"What's wrong?" I asked, and for a moment I think I forgot how she arrived at
my apartment and under what circumstances.
"N-nothing, Master," she said in her quietest voice.
I tilted her head back a little so she was looking up at me.
"I won't hurt you," I told her again. She nodded and took a breath, causing her
breast to push further into my palm. I leaned over and kissed her again while
my hands moved back to her waist and then around her back, holding her body
close to mine and pressing my desire for her against her stomach. I moaned into
her mouth as my cock finally made contact with her, even if was through the
cloth of my lounge pants.
I pulled back from her mouth and tried to catch my breath. She was so, so
beautiful, and I really, really wanted to go slowly with her. My there also a big
part of me – well, a part that was getting bigger by the moment, anyway – that
couldn't wait to be pounding into her as often as possible. She was exactly what
Aro had promised me – from her looks to her demeanor – and I couldn't have
been more eager to have her naked and underneath me. I may not have been
prepared to take her shopping or work out some ground rules, but I knew
exactly what I wanted from her now.

This was why she was here. This was exactly what I wanted.
I took her face in my hand again.
"Come to bed now."
"Yes, Master."
I would go slow, and everything would be fine, right?
Chapter 11
She only hesitated once, when we first walked into my room. I think it was
when she looked at the bed, but I wasn't really sure. I placed my hand on her
lower back, enjoying the feel of her skin under my fingertips, and guided her
over to the edge.
"Lie down," I said.
I dimmed the light on the nightstand but turned off the overhead light. I didn't
know if she had a preference or not, so I went with what seemed right. I wasn't
going to delude myself into thinking it was more romantic or something,
because there wasn't anything romantic about this in the least, but it gave the
illusion of…intimacy at least? Maybe. Whatever it was didn't matter to me at
the moment – I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to touch her and remind
myself why she was here.
Bella laid down on her back on one side of the bed, scooting herself close to the
pillows, but she didn't place her head actually on one of them. Instead, the top
of her head just grazed the bottom of the pillow. I crawled in the other side and
propped myself up on one elbow so I could see her.

She kept her eyes focused down, and I took the opportunity to look at her
again. I really wasn't sure how Aro managed to take the answers to my
questions and find the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Mahogany brown
hair, deep, rich brown eyes and a body that I just wanted to run my hands over
again and again.
And I could.
So I did.
First, I reached over and touched the top of her shoulder with my fingertips. I
followed the strap of her bra down around her shoulder and to the top of her
breast, slowly tracing the edge of it with just one of my fingers. I went back up
the other side before running my hand down her arm to her wrist where it lay
next to her hip. I pulled her arm across her body and placed it on my side, then
moved my hand back up to her shoulder so I could reposition her on her side.
She obliged my non verbal requests and rolled to her side, giving me access to
her back and – most importantly – the clasp to her bra.
Because I fucking needed to get a look and a feel of those tits without anything
in my way.
The blue bra fell away from her shoulders, and she lifted her lower shoulder so I
could slip it off her arms and leave her chest bare before me. I tossed it on the
floor and looked down at her again.
Damn, she was a sight, but pressed against me didn't give me the optimum
position to look and touch them, so I rolled to my back and propped myself
sitting up against the pillow, and then pulled her over bon top of me so she was
straddling my stomach with her gorgeous tits right in front of my face. My

hands slid from her waist up her sides and around to cup them both in my
hands.
Her skin was so soft, and her nipples contracted instantly when I ran my
thumbs over them. I could feel my own breathing increase as they hardened and
elongated between my thumbs and fingers. I leaned in and took one of them in
my mouth, licking all around it before sucking gently.
Bella gasped, which made me look up into her face. Her lower lip was stuck
between her teeth and her eyes were closed. I leaned back slightly, pulling at her
nipple between my lips until it popped out of my mouth.
"Open your eyes, Bella."
She did, releasing her lip from her teeth at the same time and gasping again.
With her mouth open just a little and her eyes staring down at me now, I
realized she had been holding her breath. Still watching her eyes, I took the
other nipple in my mouth and sucked it a little harder. Her eyes widened some
more, and her hands gripped my shoulders a little tighter.
"Do you like that?" I murmured at her.
"It…feels good, Master," she said quietly. I tried to determine if she was
speaking truthfully, but could see no sight of deception in her eyes.
"Do you want me to do it again?" I pressed.
"If you wish, Master."
I smiled and went back to the first breast again, tossing over the top before
flicking my tongue over to tip of her nipple and sucking it again. Her tits tasted
so good, and I loved the way her fingers gripped my shoulders as I sucked them,

going back and forth between each of them, and making sure my hand was
keeping track of whichever one I wasn't sucking on.
I was also completely and totally rock hard, and the tip of my cock was touching
her back every time she shifted position. I kissed each nipple once more, then
kissed up to her neck and to her lips, running my tongue over hers for a minute.
Then I leaned back and looked at her again, my thumbs still brushing against
the sides of her breasts.
"Would you like me to suck your cock, Master?"
"Oh, fuck, yes," I blurted out.
Seriously – was there any other available answer given the circumstances?
She did ask, right?

Chapter 12
My heart was pounding in my chest, apparently trying to see if there was some
way to pump even more blood into my dick. I was pretty sure it was full, but
didn't really have the opportunity to dwell on the subject. She rose up and
swung her leg around so she was on her knees beside me, glanced quickly to my
eyes, and then focused on my stomach. Her hand reached out, and she touched
me lightly with her fingers at the top of my abdomen, then slowly moved down,
following the thin line of hair in the center of my stomach until she reached the
top of my lounge pants.
She tucked her thumbs into the elastic of the pants and pulled the up and over
my erection, then down my legs and off. She knelt next to my hip and looked
down at my cock, then glanced up to my eyes, and then down again.
She used the pads of her fingers to stroke me from tip to base, and I had to stop
the moan trying to force its way out of my mouth. I felt like some adolescent kid
with his first girlfriend trying to keep from coming all over her hand. And I had
jerked off less than an hour ago! When she wrapped her little fingers around the
base, and I saw they weren't even close to getting all the way around me, I just
about saw stars.
Using her hand to hold my dick in place, she leaned over and ran her tongue all
around the tip, then flicked it across the very edge, collecting whatever precum
was already gathered there. I held my breath as she reached out with her tongue
and licked from tip to base down one side, then back up the other. Then she
wrapped her lips around the end of my shaft and I threw my head back against
the pillow, shutting my eyes and letting out the moan that had been trying to
escape since the first time her fingers met with my skin.

There was no doubt she had been taught some techniques. She sucked half of
me into her mouth, then raised back up and licked around the tip like she
thought it was a fucking lollipop, then wrapped her lips around me again,
increasing the suction before coming back up for another lollipop lick. For some
idiotic reason I thought about the Tootsie Pop commercial with the owl.
I wondered if she was prepared for when she licked enough to get to the center?
I tossed my arm over my eyes and just concentrated on the sensation, because
this was it. This was exactly what I wanted, and I was finally getting it. My cock
in Bella's mouth, and she wasn't going to stop until I wanted her to stop. She
also wasn't going to just do it once – she was mine, and she wasn't going
anywhere. I felt my shoulders relax into the mattress at the thought.
I felt her taking me in a little deeper, and the end of my cock bumped up against
the back of her throat. She backed off, then pushed her head farther over me
again. I both heard and felt her gag, but she didn't stop. She pushed herself
down again, and gagged again.
"Bella…?"
When I looked down my body, I could see her on her knees beside me with her
hair pushed back behind her shoulders so it would stay out of the way, bent
over with my cock in her mouth. The sight of her was almost enough to make
me explode if I hadn't been confused at the same time. She had more than half
of my cock in her mouth, but she kept trying to push herself down father. She'd
gag, wince, then do it again.
"Bella?" I repeated when she didn't look up at me. "Bella, stop!"
She release me from her mouth and looked up to me, her fear once again
evident.

"I can do it," she insisted. "I've practiced and I know I can…please…you're just
bigger than him. Please, give me another chance, Master. I will make you feel
good, I swear I will…"
I stared at her with an open mouth, totally flabbergasted, while she didn't wait
for any response, but dropped her mouth back over my cock until she gagged
herself again.
"Bella! Stop it!" I grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her off of me. As I
lay back, I pulled her along with me until she was lying with her head across my
chest. "I don't want you to hurt yourself – shit!"
"I'll get better," she promised as she wrapped her hands up around my
shoulders. "I promise, Master – I just need to practice…please, let me try again."
"Bella, you don't have to do that," I said, shaking my head.
"I want to be good for you," she said again. She looked up at me, her eyes
pleading. "I'll learn to be perfect for you. I know you want this…"
"What do you mean, you know?" I questioned.
"He…he told me you did." She looked away again, and I could see her blinking
rapidly.
"You told you?"
"Master Aro," she replied quietly.
Some of the conversation we had the prior month about what I wanted in a
slave came back to me, and I tried to figure out just what he might have said to
her. Just that I liked blow jobs? What guy doesn't? There had to be more to it.
"Do you remember what he said?" I asked tentatively. Did I want to know this?

"Yes, Master." Her voice had dropped to a whisper as her head tucked against
my chest, hiding her face from me. "I remember it word for word."
"Tell me."
She went completely still. For a moment, I didn't think she was going to say
anything, and I was about to call her out on it when she finally spoke.
"You are going to be sold to man named Edward Cullen. He a nasty sort who
deals on all kinds of nasty business. He likes guns and blow jobs, and he's
looking for a virgin who looks just like you. Once he's fucked your pussy he's
going to head straight for your ass next, but ultimately it's your mouth that has
to keep him happy. If he isn't happy with your mouth he's going to end up
putting a bullet in your pretty little head, or he's going to return you, and you
don't want that, do you?"
Holy shit.
In a way, his assessment was somewhat accurate, if embellished. I did like guns,
and I was involved in a plethora of illegal activities involving weapons. I had
been since I was sixteen. When my parents took off and didn't come back, and
then the trailer we had been living in was repossessed, I had very few options at
my disposal. The one that guaranteed me the most money was working with
Marcus and Caius – delivering guns to their contacts on the coast. A thousand
dollars a week to a kid was way too attractive, and all I had to do was drive the
truck. It snowballed from there.
But I never would have considered killing the girl I had just bought. Of course,
I also hadn't considered what she would need to live, either.
This was who she thought I was.
But she was wrong about that, right?

Chapter 13
"Bella, I'm not going to do that."
I felt her head nod, and might have heard her respond with another yes, Master,
but I wasn't sure.
"I'm not going to shoot you because you…you…" Fuck, I couldn't even say it.
For the thousandth time since lunch, I had no fucking idea what to do. Bella
seemed to have been perfectly resigned to gagging herself on me until she
somehow managed to deep throat my nine-inch cock. There was no fucking
way. And in case that wasn't enough, Aro had pretty much convinced her that if
she couldn't, I'd kill her.
She was not just still as she lay where I placed her over my chest, but
completely frozen. I could feel the tension of her muscles on my skin. Her
fingers were wrapped around my shoulders in some sort of death grip, like she

thought she might blow away if she let go of me, and her breathing was shallow.
Neither of us has spoken since she revealed what Aro had told her about me.
I wondered what else he had said.
Bella sniffed once, and I was pretty sure she was holding back tears. She still
hadn't moved, and she was so stiff I wondered if she would end up pulling a
muscle. I ran my hand up her back and then down again, thinking maybe it
would help her relax. Girls liked backrubs, didn't they?
Since I had been on my own, I had always had a take what you can get attitude.
When I was younger, I was a pretty good kid – mostly staying out of trouble
despite the neighborhood we lived in, if you could even call a trailer park with
four broken down trailers and a dog run a neighborhood. Going to high school
across town was what started changing me, I suppose. That's when I started
hanging out with Alec, who eventually introduced me to Marcus and Caius. I
learned enough about the industry in the two years after I was ditched to take
over completely. I told Marcus I wanted to start running things, and he said
over his dead body.
I get what I want.
Taking over the business hadn't been smooth sailing in the least – it had been a
lot of work, a lot of planning, and a lot of blood. Now business was booming,
and everyone in the know about such things came to me for their needs. I'd
worked hard for what I had, and I deserved to reap the rewards for those
efforts. I thought of it as making up for the shit hand of cards I was dealt as a
kid. I night have come from shit, but I was making it as well as some of the bug
guys. There were mafia families in Chicago that at least knew who I was, and
one in Italy that had become a regular customer. Aro's extended family, actually.

Buying a slave shouldn't be any different than any other kind of business deal.
Figure out what each side of the deal wants, find something in the middle that
makes everyone happy, define the timeline and execute. I just needed to
approach Bella with the same method.
The first part was easy, because I already knew what wanted. Constant sex.
Well, all right, maybe not constant, but certainly daily. Or twice a day. At least.
Maybe three times.
Maybe I needed to start a little closer to the beginning. I wanted the other half
of the blow job she started.
Okay – now I had a clearly defined goal. Next came the timeline. That would be
tonight.
Execute. Easy enough. I just need to have her give me a…
Damnit. I forgot about the second half of the first step. What did Bella want?
I looked down at the top of her head. She still hadn't moved, and her arms and
legs were still tense. She said before that she wanted what I wanted, but that
wasn't the kind of answers I needed. All right, new goal – get Bella to tell me
what she wants.
How the fuck do I do that?
I decided to start with the obvious.
"So, what do you like?" I asked her. She looked at me like a couple of pork
chops had just popped right out of my nostrils or something.

"What do I like about what, Master?"
"Well, about anything, I guess. Do you like jewelry and that kind of shit? Or
cars? Shoes?"
"I'm sorry, Master," Bella said as she shook her head. "I don't understand what
you mean."
"Fuck."
Next new goal – how the fuck do you talk to a woman in such a way to get them
to tell you what the fuck you want to know? I had this same shit with Kate and
every other girlfriend I ever had, too. You're supposed to buy them the perfect
fucking gift for whatever the occasion – their birthday, Christmas, President's
Day – whatever, just make sure you don't fucking forget any occasion – but
they aren't going to give you any ideas about what they might want. "Whatever
you want to give me" is a total line of bullshit, too.
And of course, that was all Bella was going to say to me.
All right, let's try a more direct approach.
"Bella, let me tell you about the worst blow job I ever received in my life."
She looked back to me, her eyes full of confusion.
"Yes, Master?"
"It was fucking fantastic." I don't know if she got the joke or not, but she wasn't
smiling or laughing. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "There isn't a
right way to do that. Just having your mouth on any part of me is…well, is
what I want. You don't have to take all of me, Bella. Shit, I can't think of
anyone who ever could. I don't expect that."
"You don't?"
"No."

I shifted my hips a little. When I had pulled her up close to me, I had ended up
with one of her legs right between mine, and I couldn't think let alone carry on a
conversation with her thigh on top of my cock, and we obviously needed
another conversation.
A little talking would work it all out, right?
Chapter 14
After about three minutes, it was clear talking was getting me nowhere. I was a
complete and total failure when it came to communication with women I had
dated. I was not sure why it came as a surprise to me that talking to my slave
wasn't a whole lot different than talking to any other woman.
I sucked at it.
She wouldn't answer me with any information I could actually use, I was
getting upset, and she was starting to try to curl up in a ball and hide right in the
middle of the bed. It was fucking frustrating, and I kept trying to guess at things
she might like, and was about to go out and buy her a pony, because I was
pretty sure someone told me once all girls wanted a pony at some time in their
lives.
"Why don't you just tell me what you want?" I asked again. "Or what kinds of
things you like?"

"Please, Master…I don't know what you want me to say!" She tucked her head
tighter against my shoulder. She had done that a couple of times now, and I
couldn't figure out why she was doing it. I liked it, though.
"Just tell me!" I said, exacerbated.
She took a deep breath – I could feel the rise and fall of her chest pressed
against mine.
"I just want to make you happy, Master. Please…may I?"
"May you what?" I dropped my head back on the pillows and rubbed my eyes.
She probably just wanted me to shut up so she could go to sleep at this point.
That was all right, because I didn't think I would be able to take a lot more of
this. Shit, I'd gotten more information out of women I had picked up in bars,
fucked in my car, and then taken back to the dance floor ten minutes later than I
could get out of Bella.
"Try again?"
"Try what?"
"Please, Master – let me try to suck your cock again."
Oh. That.
You would have thought I was too wound up to get it up, but the lower half of
my body didn't really have any diplomatic consultations with the upper half. As
soon as I figured out she was now offering exactly what I wanted again, all
other coherent thoughts just jumped out of the bed and ran into the other room
to watch some TV or something. With the actual thinking head totally out of the
way, my cock started speaking out of my mouth, and then next thing I knew she
had turned herself around and was going to continue where she left off. I was
powerless to stop her.

All right, I wasn't going to stop her because I wanted this.
Fucking sue me.
Her eyes looked up and me as she took the base in her hand again, stroking me
twice before speaking.
"It's really okay if I only go part way, Master?"
"Yeah, it's fine. Don't go so far down again, okay?"
"Yes, Master," she said quietly, and then her lips wrapped around the head of
my cock. I watched her take it about half way down as her hand wrapped
around the rest of it. Any remaining thoughts I had prior to that point decided
to join the rest of my brains on the couch in front of Welcome Back Kotter
reruns.
The rest of me gave over to sensation – her touch, the sounds in the room – most
of which were coming out of my mouth – and the way she looked bent over me.
Damn, she was beautiful – especially like that. I don't know if it was my sheer
level of frustration already, watching her walk around mostly naked for a good
portion of the day, or just the talent of her mouth and tongue, but it wasn't all
that long before I was trying hard to hold back and not come.
Then I wondered why I was holding back.
"Bella…fuck…Bella, I'm going to come soon."
Her eyes opened and she looked right at me, but she didn't stop. Not at all. In
fact, she looked rather determined.
"You don't have to…have to…oh fuck!" I groaned and reached my hand down
to touch the top of her head. "You don't have to keep going…not with me in
your mouth. Oh…fuck…you can…stop…oh fuck…"
She didn't stop. If anything, she increased the suction. I gave up and let myself
go until I could feel the tightening in my legs and abs as she started moving

faster over me. I might have actually screamed out her name as the sensations
rippled through my skin, down my cock and past her lips. She just kept me in
her mouth and kept sucking on me until I was completely done. The fact was –
it just felt so fucking good – warm and soft and wet and everything I loved
about having my cock in a woman's mouth. If she wanted me to come in her
mouth, then I wasn't about to refuse her the opportunity.
This was way too good to ever refuse, right?
Chapter 15
When my eyes stopped rolling into the back of my head, I pulled her back up
onto my chest and wrapped my arms around her back. My fingers touched her
hair, and I ran my hand over it – slowly stroking from the top of her head nearly
down to her waist, where her hair stopped. I took a bunch of deep breaths,
which was a little difficult with her lying on top of me, but I didn't mind. After a
few minutes, I felt Bella's body slack a little, and realized she had fallen asleep. I
stopped stroking her hair and just looked down at her for a while, trying to
figure out what the fuck was going on in my head.
This was not how I had envisioned any of this.
I wasn't sure if envisioned was really even the right word. Fantasized was
probably more accurate as a description, since the only thing I had really
thought about was how many pieces of furniture I might bend my slave over to
fuck her from behind. There might have been a bit of a vision involved, but that
was mostly the sight of a rounded ass in my mind, and I wasn't so sure that
counted.
I felt sick to my stomach.

I bought a slave to suck my cock, and now that she had, I didn't feel sated or
relaxed or whatever it was I thought I was going to feel. Instead, I felt like a
total shit. This was not what I expected. The lines between fantasy and reality
were not quite as blurred as I thought they would be. In my head, the faceless
slave had been all into it – giving me exactly what I wanted because ultimately,
she wanted it, too. I thought reality would fit my fantasy, but it just didn't. I
couldn't pretend this was a willing participant in my game here, and if I thought
too much about how she might have gone from whatever she was before, to
willingly gagging herself in order to please her new master, I was going to go
ballistic.
I obviously wasn't going to be able to sleep, so I wrapped my arms around Bella

and rolled us both to our sides, disentangled her arms from my shoulders and
lying her down on the mattress so I could go smoke a cigarette. I pulled my
lounge pants back on and headed for the foyer. When I pulled my pack out of
my jacket pocket, I found the sealed white envelope Aro had given me when I
bought her. I took them both with me and went to sit on the balcony.
I lit up and then tore open the envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper with
just the name Isabella typed neatly at the top, her birth date and some general
height and weight information. Isabella. Bella. Huh. There was also some of the
other information we had discussed – what to do if I decided I wasn't happy
with my purchase, restocking fees equating to half of what I paid for her, and
that she would essentially become "repossessed" if anything ever happened to
me. There was also some reference to transfer of ownership documentation I'd
have to send him if I sold her to someone else.
I wondered if there was an online website where I could fill out the warranty
information in case there was a recall.

I definitely felt sick to my stomach.
Other than her first name and birthday, there wasn't any personal information
about her at all. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, especially since Aro
had made it perfectly clear I wasn't to ask about her past at all, but I think I still
expected a little more. Had she finished high school? Where was she from? Her
accent was typical northern United States, but that could be almost anywhere
from Washington to Pennsylvania. I stuck the paper back in the envelope and
stubbed out my smoke, and then lit another one. I tried to clear my head as I
polluted my lungs, striving to understand why those two acts went so well
together. Once the second one burned to the filter, I tossed the butt into the
ashtray, dropped my elbows to my knees and leaned over to place my forehead
on my crossed arms.
She'd done it. She took my cock in her mouth and sucked me off. Swallowed
every fucking drop.
As advertised.
The summer breeze felt good on my skin, but I was wondering if Bella was okay
in my bed alone. I didn't want her waking up all disoriented or anything, did I?
I stood up and went back inside. I hit the bathroom, crawled back into bed, and
propped myself up on one elbow to watch Bella sleep.
She was truly beautiful. Maybe she was not stunning in some people's eyes, but
she had more of what I guess would be called quiet beauty – subtle, and in my
opinion, better. I pushed some hair off her forehead, and her eyes tightened up a
bit before relaxing again. As the minutes went, by I continued to watch her

breathe evenly. Sometime later, her eyes started to move in REM sleep, and a
couple minutes after that she started to talk.
"Please…no…" Her voice was just barely a whisper – choked and hoarse
sounding. "I'll be good…I promise…please…I won't cry…won't cry…"
If I hadn't felt sick before, I certainly did after that.
Her face scrunched up like she was in pain, and she kept repeating those same
words over and over again until I couldn't stand it anymore. I reached over and
wrapped my arms back around her, holding her against my body as her eyes
tightened once again before opening wide and panicked.
She blinked a few times, and I could see relief wash over her face for a second,
replaced quickly with shock and horror. Just as quickly, her eyes closed, and
when they opened again, she had switched back to her complacent and docile
norm. I didn't have to be a mind reader to understand what had just gone
through her head.
Thank God, it was only a dream.
It wasn't a dream.
Back to slave mode.
Fuck this.
This is not what I wanted.
It's not too late to fix it, right?

Chapter 16
Bella's eyes met mine, but she quickly dropped them down and tucked her head
against my chest. I felt her take a deep breath.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yes, Master."
"You were…um…you looked like you were having a bad dream." She didn't
respond, but I felt her go all still again. She had closed her eyes tightly, and her
shoulders were curled up a bit, like she was trying to make herself smaller.
"Tell me what they did to you," I said.
"I can't," she whispered. "Please, Master – don't ask me to do that."
Seeing her like that was starting to really piss me off, and ideas about just what
I might be able to do to make sure she knew for certain they would never touch
her again started dancing around in my head. Aro's little "final rule" bullshit was
nothing more than a way to keep her afraid of him when she was supposed to be
completely mine now. I understood where he was coming from on the business
side of things, but I still wanted to know how my property was treated when it
was in his possession.
Yeah, it was a sick way to think, but it was what it was. I bought her. I couldn't
change that, even though it was obvious to me at this point that I had made a
really, really big mistake. It was also quite clear it wasn't one I could get out of
easily. I couldn't send her back to Aro – no way. I might not know exactly what
he had done to her, but there was no fucking way I would ever let him

anywhere near her again. Even if I could have taken her back, I really didn't
want to get rid of her.
I touched her cheek with the back of my knuckles.
"It all right," I told her. "You don't have to tell me."
Her shoulders slumped, and she nodded slowly. I tilted her head up, and her
eyes focused on mine for a moment. Even in the darkness of the room, I could
still see them clearly – shining out at me. My attention was drawn to her lips.
They were full, and felt soft when I ran the pad of my thumb over them. I
remembered how they tasted when I first kissed her in the car, and I wanted to
taste them again. I really wanted to, but I didn't. Instead, I licked my lips and
lay my head back on the pillow, bringing her down with me to rest her head
against my shoulder.
"Go back to sleep, Bella," I said softly.
"Yes, Master."
About three things I was absolutely certain. One, I had totally fucked this up.
Two, I was going to have to figure out a way to fix it – somehow – without
fucking it up any more than it already was. And three, I wasn't going to be able
to do this without some help. Specifically, a woman's help. Once Bella had
settled back down in to sleep, I climbed back out of bed and went into the next
room to make a call.
"What?" the sharp, harsh, yet still feminine voice snapped. "It's four-o-clock in
the fucking morning here, asshole. This better be good."

"Yeah, I know – sorry." I ran my free hand through my hair. I ended up with a
couple of stray pieces stuck between my fingers. This really was going to make
me go bald. "I wouldn't have called, but I need your help, Alice."
She would be able to tell me what to do, right?
Chapter 17
After an extremely brief conversation with Alice, I dumped the phone on the
coffee table and went back to bed. Bella was curled up on her side, mumbling
something into the mattress. When I crawled back into the bed, it was obvious
she was having another nightmare. I put one arm around her waist, trying to
forget that she was only wearing those little blue panties, and shook her gently.
Her eyes opened, but they were unfocused when they met mine. She blinked a
few times, and then her eyes closed again as her head rested against my
shoulder. I pulled her a little closer to me and wrapped one arm around her
head. With my cheek pressed into her hair, I dropped off to sleep, but it wasn't
restful at all. I woke several times, finally giving up only a couple of hours later.
Instead of sleeping myself, I watched Bella sleep. If she started to stir, I held her
closer and she seemed to doze back off again.
As the sun came up and light flooded the room, Bella's eyes opened slowly.
Again, I saw her confusion at first, then the realization of where she was and –
ultimately – what she was and who she now belonged to. She looked up to my
face, her expression somewhat shy.

"Good morning," I said.
"Good morning, Master," she replied. "Would you like me to suck your cock?"
Despite realizing how badly I had fucked up this whole situation, hearing those
words still went straight to my dick. No Go passing. No money collected.
"Shit…Bella." I took a deep breath and tried to gain a little composure. "You
don't…I mean…fuck, you don't have to just ask that all the time, okay?"
"I'm sorry, Master," she whispered as she ducked her head.
I couldn't see her face very well at that point, but she almost seemed distressed
that I wasn't telling her to just go to town on me. Not that I didn't have morning
wood the likes of which even God has never seen, because I did, but I was also
pretty damn sure she didn't really want to do that.
"Do you want to fuck me now?"
Yeah, my cock heard that one, too.
"Yes," I heard my mouth utter. Shit! "I mean – no! I do, but…shit! Bella, please
– don't say anything like that, okay?"
She was quiet for a moment, her head still tucked down.
"You don't want me?" she asked quietly.
Shit. Did she really think I was rejecting her? This was so fucked up, I couldn't
even see straight.

"Fuck yes, I want you. But not now, all right? We're going to have a visitor
soon, anyway."
That seemed to get her attention.
"A visitor, Master?"
"Yeah, a friend of mine. She should be here in about an hour."
"What should I do?" Bella was actually sounding just a little bit panicked. I
reached up and ran my hand over her cheek.
"Get dressed in those clothes we bought yesterday," I told her. "Then you could
maybe find something for breakfast? I know there's some cereal and I think
maybe some of that instant pancake stuff is in the pantry."
"Yes, Master." Bella leaned over me and placed a single kiss in the center of my
chest before she rose from the bed and walked out of the bedroom.
The kiss sent what felt like a shock wave from the place where her lips touched
my skin and outwards throughout my body. When I caught my breath again, I
rolled myself out of bed, took a quick shower, jerked off – damnit – and went
out to the kitchen to be assaulted by the glorious smells of another home cooked
meal. Without a doubt, Bella knew her way around my kitchen better than I
did.
"You are amazing," I said as I dug into another forkful of pancakes. I watched
Bella take her bottom lip between her teeth, and her cheeks were tinged with
pink. She was wearing one of the pairs of jeans I bought along with a sepia
toned shirt with a bunch of artsy flower images all over it. I was about to go on
about the food someone, when there was a knock at the door.

"Shit," I mumbled, "she's early."
"Master?"
"It's all right," I said. "Just…um…don't kneel or anything. And no Master,

okay? Just…um…keep quiet for a little while until I can kind of explain some
shit, okay?"
"Yes, Master."
I shook my head and tried to collect myself. A couple of deep breaths – check.
Hands run through hair – check. Slave not looking too much like a slave –
check. Okay – I was ready.
I opened the door and there stood Alice, clad in black from head to toe,
including some pretty vicious looking boots with buckles all over them. Her
shirt and jeans were so tight, I knew she didn't heave on a bra underneath, and I
was pretty sure any panties she might be wearing had to be the kind with no
back – only a little string up the crack. She tossed the black leather jacket that
was over her arm towards my face, and then walked through the door,
immediately snapping at me.
"I never did get back to sleep, you fucker."
"Good to see you again, too, Alice."
Alice was about five feet tall – a tiny little thing. Even with all the black and the
attitude, no one would ever guess that under her wild-child black hair, was the
best hired killer in the business. If you wanted someone dead, she was the girl to
call. She never failed, and her price was about as astronomical as they get. Still,
if you needed it quick and discreet or long, drawn out, and painful – she could
cater to your needs.

Before I could throw her jacket over the back of a chair, she had stopped dead
in her tracks. Bella was standing in the entryway to the great room with her
head bowed, her hands clasped in front of her, and her lip caught between her
teeth.
"Who's this?" Alice asked. She turned her head to look back at me with
narrowed eyes.
"That's Bella," I said. "I sort of…um…bought her."
"You what?" Her voice had gone all soft. I had never heard that tone out of her
mouth before, and I was pretty sure I didn't like the sound of it.
"I bought her," I repeated, "from Aro."
I honestly thought conniptions were just kind of a saying before that moment. I
didn't realize people could actually have one, but I swear Alice did right there in
my foyer. The next couple of moments became kind of a blur. Her left fist
knocked really hard into my jaw, catching me off guard enough that I ended up
dropping down on the floor. As I rolled over to protest, I was looking straight
into the barrel of a Beretta 92.
"What the fuck did you just say, Cullen?" Alice growled through her teeth.
"Because if you are telling me what I think you are telling me, I'm going to
fucking end you right now."
Um, she was still going to help me out, right?

Chapter 18:
As I stared into Alice's eyes – black with fury – I waited. At first, I wasn't sure
what I was waiting for exactly – if it was to hear the muffled shot that ended my
life, her demands for more of an explanation, or maybe just to hear myself
breathe, which I didn't appear to be doing. After what felt like a long time, but
was likely only a second, I realized I was waiting for my life to flash in front of
me. That little bit of your mind that replays all the significant bits to remind you
where you have been and how you ended up here, at the end.
It didn't happen.
I was pretty glad it did happen, because I really didn't want to relive any of that
shit.
What I did hear was Bella's scream.
"No!"
I felt the impact in my chest instead of my head, where I was expecting it. And
instead of a single, small point of contact of a bullet, it was Bella's body against
my chest. We were both thrown backwards and away from the Beretta, with
Bella frantically scrambling to cover me with her body.
That sick feeling in my stomach was definitely back.
"No! No! No!" she cried out over and over again.

"What the fuck, Cullen?" Alice snarled. I looked around Bella long enough to
see Alice had at least dropped the barrel off to the side, no longer aiming at my
face.
Bella was still screaming into my ear.
I grabbed her shoulders and tried to pull her off of me, because – shit – if she
ended up in the line of fire somehow...well, I didn't want that to happen. I
couldn't get her off, though – she had what could only be described as a death
grip around my neck. She was still screaming at Alice.
"No! No! Please, don't kill him! Please! No!"
"Bella, it's all right – shit!" I tried pulling at her arms again, but I didn't get
anywhere. I looked up to Alice, praying she was going to give me at least a little
bit of a chance to explain. "Alice – come on! Help me out here! I'll tell you
everything, just fucking help me out!"
"Fuck you!" Alice took a step back, holstered her gun in her boot and put her
hands on her hips.
Bella tucked her head against my chest and tightened her grip again.
"She put the gun away, Bella – it's okay." I didn't have the slightest idea if it was
okay or not, or if Alice was just going to wait and off me at the next opportunity,
but I had to say something.
"I'm not going to kill him."
Bella turned her head and looked over her shoulder. Alice's eyes narrowed, and
for a while they just looked at each other. Bella's grip slowly loosened, and I felt

her chest rise and fall with her slowed breaths. Eventually she looked down
again, then over to me, then back to the floor.
"I think we need to talk, Edward," Alice said as she glared at me. She turned on
her heel and went straight for my whiskey. At eight in the morning? After she
had her glass, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit up.
"Balcony, please!" I reminded her.
"Fuck you."
Fine. It wasn't worth the argument.
I convinced Bella to let me up, and as I rubbed my bruised jaw, she ran to the
freezer and collected a bag full of ice for me. She seemed to be prepared to hold
it right there for me for the recommended fifteen-to-twenty minutes, but the
look on Alice's face told me I wouldn't last that long if I let her. Instead, I took
the ice from Bella and told her to hang out in her room for a while so I could
talk to Alice. Once she was convinced Alice was not going to shoot me – at least,
not yet – she went and left us alone.
"You better start talking right now, Cullen," Alice said. "I'll have you tossed off
this building if you don't come up with a pretty damn good story."
I did have a good story, right?

Chapter 19:
Deciding it didn't really matter at this point anyway, I went ahead and lit a
cigarette, breaking my own no smoking inside rule. Alice leaned back on my
couch and rested her ankle on her knee. Her eyes narrowed at me as she huffed
out her nose.
"What the fuck did you do?" she demanded.
"I bought her," I said sheepishly. There really wasn't any point in sugar coating
it. "Kate left. I just…got tired of it, I guess."
"So you figured since you've fucked up every the relationship you have ever
had, getting one who didn't have a choice in the matter was the right way to
go?"
"I didn't really think of it like that."
"I don't think you have a fucking thought in your head."
I couldn't begrudge her that, so I just shrugged. Alice gulped the last of the
whiskey and dropped her glass onto the carpet, daring me with her eyes to
complain. At least it landed open side up.
"Why?"
Good question. At one point, I thought I knew the answer.
"I didn't want…I mean, I thought it would be…I…fuck!"
I heard the click of the gun, and looked up to see the barrel pointed at me again.

"You said you weren't going to shoot me," I reminded her.
"Maybe I lied."
"You can't…Alice – shit," I ran my hand through my hair again. "If you kill me,
Aro gets her back, okay?"
"Shit," she growled, but didn't lower her weapon. "You've really fucked this
about as hard as it could be fucked, haven't you?"
"Yeah," I admitted. It was really, really hard to have a conversation with a gun
pointed at you, but I was pretty sure I wasn't getting a choice in that matter.
"That's why I called you."
"Why me?"
I shrugged.
"I didn't know who else to call. You've fixed shit for me before."
"I've killed for you before."
"Yeah, and it fixed shit."
She continued to give me the stink eye, and I honestly didn't know what else to
tell her except everything, so I just blurted it all out.
"I admit it, okay?" I said. "I wanted to buy a chick to fuck whenever I wanted –
one that wouldn't just leave me when I did something stupid. I didn't think
about what I was doing, and I don't know what to do now. Please, Alice – just
help me fix it."

Her eyes slowly lost their fire, and she placed the Beretta back on her lap, but
not away. She shook her head slowly, tossed her cigarette butt into the empty
whiskey glass, pulled out another one, and sighed.
"Where's your family, E?"
"I don't have a family," I growled. "You know that."
"Yeah, but you did at some point, didn't ya?"
"Not really."
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"No ."
"What happened to your parents?"
"Fuck if I know."
"Are they alive?"
"I have no fucking idea, okay?" I finally yelled. "What the hell is with the twenty
questions game, huh? We're supposed to be talking about what the fuck we can
do to get out of this mess!"
"So what, did you call me in to kill her?"
"No! Shit!"
"Good thing, because if you had said yes, you were going over the balcony. So
why did you call?"
"I don't know what to do!" I finally admitted. "None of this is how I thought it
would be, and I can't send her back."
"Why not?"

"Fuck, Alice – did you see how she reacted just now? If you kill me, she goes
back to him. No fucking way."
"What do you care?" she snarled. "You're the reason she's here in the first place.
If you don't like her, why wouldn't you send her back? Try out a new model?"
She was being snarky, I knew. She practically oozed sarcasm when she wanted
to make a point. I didn't know what to say to make my point. I didn't know if I
had a point. I just knew I needed Alice's help if I had any chance what so ever
of making this right.
"She had a nightmare," I said. I turned my eyes to look at her. "She won't tell me
what happened, but I heard enough when she was asleep. I'm not sending her
back."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to hire you to help me eliminate Aro's organization."
"You want to what?" The snarkiness was gone. The sarcasm was gone. The only
thing left was utter incredulity. "Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you
realize what you are saying?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Do you realize how deep this goes? How many crime lords you're talking
about? It's not just Aro – he's tied to all of Volturi in Italy as well as Laurent's
group here. You're talking about twenty hits, and that's just the big guys. It will
end up being more."
"I know."
"What are you going to do with her?" She nodded her head towards Bella's
room, her eyes narrowing again.

"Once they're gone, I can tell her she's free. She can go back to her family, if she
has one. Whatever she wants. I buy her a fucking house. I'll set her up for life.
Whatever she wants, I'll make it happen."
"You don't have enough money to pay me for this job," she said definitively. "So
I'm not doing it for you."
It felt like my heart stopped beating a few times, and the pressure in my chest
was threatening to push me right through the bottom of my chair. If she didn't
help me, I had no fucking chance. I wouldn't be able to set this right. Forget
passing Go – without Alice, I wasn't even on the fucking board.
"But I will do it for her."
Everyone needs a partner in crime, right?."
Chapter 20
Alice was adamant we tell Bella exactly what we were planning. I wasn't so
sure. It's not like I was trying to keep her in the dark about it – not really – I
just didn't want to freak her out, and I was pretty sure her reaction to this
wasn't going to be what I would expect.
"I think we should just do it," I said for the tenth time. "Bella doesn't need to
know what's going on."

Alice stood up from the stool at the kitchen island, walked around the table to
the back of my chair, and punched my hard enough in the kidney to make me
see stars.
"You are a fucking idiot," she growled as she grabbed another whiskey and sat
back down like nothing had happened. I still couldn't breathe right. "This is her
life you are dealing with, asshole. You aren't doing any of this without her
understanding what the fuck is happening. This is about her, dickhead, not
you."
"All right," I gasped as I rubbed my back and side. "We'll tell her. You want me
to get her now?"
"No reason to keep her locked up, is there Edward?"
Nice," I gave her my most sardonic grin and went to get Bella from her room.
She was kneeling on the floor in the middle of the room, obviously just waiting
there for me to retrieve her.
I still liked it.
Fucking sue me.
The words that had once been a challenge in my head to anyone who cared to
listen were now dull and lifeless.
For a minute, I just looked down at her and tried to figure out what it was I
actually wanted, but I didn't really get anywhere with that. Why did I like her
on the floor, waiting for me? It wasn't just that I found it an attractive pose,
though I did. I wasn't just that she was at the perfect height to just tilt her head

up and take me in her mouth – though that was also true, and I couldn't pretend
I didn't notice. It wasn't just visual, and it wasn't just sexual – so what was it?
I gave up, shook my head sharply and called her name. She responded without
moving an inch.
"Come on back to the other room" I said. "There's some stuff we wanted to…
um…talk to you about, I guess."
"Yes, Master," she said. He voice was so quiet and small, and I could only figure
she was scared, but I didn't know what to do about it.
"It's okay," I told her, realizing what a stupid fucking statement that was as it
was leaving my mouth. I ran a hand through my hair. "I mean, Alice is here to
help, okay?"
"Yes, Master."
We went back out into the living room, where Alice had set up shop on my
couch with yet another shot of whiskey and a cigarette. She had an iPad – one
of the new ones, I thought – out on her lap and she was poking around at it.
"You have shit about Aro on there?" I asked.
"Nah – playing Angry Birds," she said. She hit a couple more buttons and tossed
it off to the side, retrieving her gun instead. "Did you tell her what you want to
do?"
"Not yet."
Without any kind of preamble, Alice started spelling it all out.

"Edward's decided to stop thinking with his dick long enough for his head to
grow a conscience," Alice said as she looked at Bella. "Never seen him use one
of those before. I guess buying a person is about low enough you start
rethinking your lifestyle, huh?"
"She knows what I am?" Bella looked to me.
"Yeah." I tossed myself into my chair. "And what the fuck, Alice? I don't have a
conscience? You blow people away for a living!"
"Yeah," she grinned and her eyes went wide and sparking. She looked like an
insane, goth clown. "But only the ones who deserve it."
Bella looked down to the ground and started worrying her lip with her teeth.
"Bella?" I reached out my hand and she came to me, taking my hand, dropping
to the ground on her knees in front on me, and bowing her head.
"What the fuck?" Alice snarled again. I felt Bella flinch. "Don't fucking do that!
Get up! Now!"
Bella cringed against me, her eyes darting up to mine and her fear evident in her
expression.
"Is she going to kill me?" Bella whispered.
"No, Bella," I said, trying to sound reassuring. "She's just seriously pissed off at
me."
"You got that right!"
"Alice, come on," I said. "You're scaring her."

"I'm scaring her? God, you're dumb." Alice stood and crossed the room in just a
couple of strides. I felt Bella lean against my leg as Alice reached down and
grabbed her arm, attempting to haul Bella to her feet. Bella's fingers wrapped
around mine tightened their grip.
"Shit, Alice – you're still holding the damn gun!"
She glared at me, but holstered it again. She released Bella's arm and crouched
down next to her instead.
"I don't know what they did to you," Alice said, "but they're going to fucking
pay, you hear me?"
Bella turned back to me, her eyes wide.
"Please…no, Master," she begged. "Please don't do anything."
"Master? Holy fucking shit, Edward!" Alice stood and stomped back across the
room. She turned abruptly and glared back at me. She pulled her last cigarette
butt - still burning - out of the glass on the floor and dropped it onto the carpet
instead. She used her heel to grind it in. At least she knows how to make her
point. "Seriously? How fucking sick are you?"
Bella's hand was shaking in mine, and I reached down and placed my other
hand on her shoulder, then ran it up the side of her face.
"It's all right," I said, hoping I sounded reassuring, but I probably sounded more
like a lunatic, considering the topic. "Alice is going to help. Aro's never going to
touch you again."
"Please, Master," she pleaded again.

"Don't be scared," I said. I wondered if that was actually a more brilliant
statement than offering her a drink or not. "I mean it – we're going to help you,
okay? And when we're done…um…well, you can go. You know – wherever you
want."
"Go?" her confusion was evident. "Go where?"
"Wherever you want. Home?"
She stared at me, wide eyed, then looked down, and then back up again.
"I have to be yours," she finally said.
"Why?" I glanced at Alice, who was glaring at me with narrowed eyes and her
hand reaching reflexively for her gun.
"If I'm not yours, I have to go back," she said. Her voice was so low I didn't
think Alice could have heard her. "If you wish, Master…please – I want to be
yours."
"Bella…you don't have to be…like that," I stumbled over my own words,

because I had no idea what I was supposed to say. "I'm going to take care of
Aro, and then I'll make sure you are taken care of, too."
Her eyes went wide with fear.
"Not that way!" I retracted, realizing she thought I was going to take care of
both of them in the same way. "Shit – that's not what I meant. Alice! Help over
here, would ya?"

"We kill Aro and everyone else who would know enough to know about you,"
Alice said bluntly. "Then, either Edward makes sure you're set free and gives
you at least twice the cash he paid Aro for you, or I'm going to show him my
special way of making death last the whole weekend."
"Thanks," I mumbled.
"It will be my pleasure if you don't follow through," she confirmed.
I looked back at Bella, trying to figure out how she was taking the latest news,
but I couldn't understand her expression. It wasn't happiness, I was pretty sure
of that. Finally, she looked back to my eyes.
"Please don't," she said. "If anything happens to him, and they know it was
you…please, Master – please don't."
I reached back down to her and placed both hands on the side of her face. I
leaned close and looked directly at her.
"Tell me why not," I demanded.
"Please, Master," she whispered. "Please, Edward. I can't tell you."
I leaned back and sighed. Alice had plopped back down on the couch and was
shaking her head slowly. Apparently, she was also at a loss. Bella was begging
me not to go after the man who made her this way, whatever the circumstances.
How was I supposed to make this right if the person who needed to have me
make it right for them didn't want me to make it right in the first place?
That sentence made sense, right?

Chapter 21
No matter what Alice or I said, Bella was adamant that we not go after Aro. She
wouldn't say anything about why, only begging me to just keep her, promising
to be a good slave until I thought Alice was going to puke on my shoes. I finally
managed to get Alice to sit on the balcony while I tried to talk to Bella myself,
but made no progress. Eventually I gave up, and allowed Bella to start making
dinner at her own request.
I grabbed my bottle of Makers Mark 46, growled under my breath at how

empty it has suddenly become, and poured myself a glass before joining Alice.
"You suck at this," she said as the sliding door clicked shut.
"At what?" I asked, figuring her list was probably a pretty long one.
"All of it." She responded. "You don't know how to be a master, or whatever the
fuck, and you don't know how to let her go and be herself. You totally suck at
this. All of it."
I sighed and lit a cigarette while Alice continued to berate me for being an idiot.
I couldn't really argue with her, it just wasn't helping the current situation. Bella
made some kind of casserole for dinner with noodles, peas, and cream sauce that
was just awesome. By the time we were done it was pretty late at night, and
Alice had already conked out on the couch with her boots up on the fabric,
snoring really loudly.
Bella followed me to the bedroom, which was the first inclination I had that I
needed to discuss different arrangements.

Yeah, so I hadn't thought that far ahead.
Fucking sue me.
"Hey…um, Bella?"
"Yes, Master?"
"You can sleep in your own room, if you want."
She looked up to my eyes, obviously confused.
"Aren't you going to fuck me tonight?"
"What?" I exclaimed. My hands found my hair and tugged a bit. "Um…shit,

no…Bella. Did you hear what we were saying before? How we're going to kill
Aro and you'll be free?"
"Yes," she said quietly. She ducked her head down so her chin was just about
against her chest.
"So I'm not going to fuck you, all right?"
"You aren't?"
"No," I said as I shook my head. "I'm not. That's what I was trying to tell you
before."
"I don't understand, Master," Bella admitted. "You said you weren't sending me
back, but you still don't want me?"
"Fuck." I tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling while I walked around in
a little circle and tried to gather my thoughts. "I shouldn't have bought you,
Bella. I just…didn't think about what I was really doing. But I'm getting it now,
and I'm not going to hurt you. That includes fucking you or anything else, for

that matter. Just…why don't you sleep in your own room tonight, and we'll
figure it out in the morning, okay?"
"Yes, Master," she replied as she turned and went into her bedroom.
I went into my room, showered, tried to ignore the burning need for some
release, finally gave up, jacked off, and then tossed myself into bed wearing only
my boxers. The whiskey must have helped, because I fell asleep pretty quickly.
I didn't sleep for long, though. I woke up when Bella came into my room.
"Bella? What is it?"
Her eyes danced around, not meeting mine, though I could see the glimmer of
the light from the hallway on her irises.
"May I stay here…with you?"
"Yeah…sure."
She placed her hands and one knee on the bed and crawled in, lying on her back
with her head just below the pillow and staring at the ceiling above. I
remembered her doing that before.
"Why don't you use the pillow?"
She looked up to me, her expression confused.
"I'm not supposed to," she said quietly.
"Why not?"
"I'm not…good enough for a pillow." Her words were so soft, I could hardly
hear them, but that didn't stop them from driving straight into my gut. Not good
enough for a fucking pillow? What the fuck is that all about?
"Use the pillow, Bella."

"Yes, Master."
She shifted up and laid her head on the pillow beside me. She seemed on edge…
I mean, more on edge than she always was.
"Did you have another nightmare?" I asked.
"Yes, Master."
"Tell me about it." I didn't really think I was going to get anywhere, but it was
worth a shot.
"I can't," she said. Of course.
I wondered if she had talked in her sleep, and kind of wished I had heard her. If
she wasn't going to tell me anything directly, I should at least be able to hear her
talk about it while she slept. If I heard her talk in her sleep often enough, maybe
I could put some of the pieces together and figure it all out. Of course, not all of
her dreams would be about the same thing, right? And not all of her dreams
would even be something that had happened to her, of course. She could dream
about freaking kittens and shit, too.
That's when I had the first actually brilliant thought in the past month. If only I
could convince Bella it was a valid argument.
"Bella, if you just tell me what you dreamed about," I told her, "you aren't telling
me anything they did. You aren't breaking any rules. You are only telling me
what you dreamed about. And dreams aren't real, right?"
"Sometimes they feel real," she said quietly.
"I know," I acknowledged, "but they aren't. It's only a dream, and you can tell
me what happened in your dream."

She looked at me and nodded slowly. I watched her lip hide beneath her teeth as
her eyes narrowed and even closed for a moment. She opened her eyes and
spoke.
"I was in his playroom," Bella said. Her eyes glanced up to me quickly. "In my
dream."
"I know – only in the dream." I nodded at her to continue.
I wanted to hear this, right?

Chapter 22
"Only a dream," Bella said softly. She looked away from me, and I reached over
and placed my hand on her side, on top of the t-shirt she was still wearing. She
jumped a little at my touch, so I pulled my hand back. She glanced at me again,
and then started rubbing her fingers together as she spoke. "Master Aro told me
to…to, um…service him…with my mouth. I had been trying to be better, but
when he…um…in my dream…"
Her breath caught, and she was completely still for a moment. She seemed to
get herself together and take a deep breath so she could continue. I wasn't
breathing at all.
"Master Aro kept pushing so hard and fast…and Master James was yelling at
me not to cry…but when he finished and I couldn't breathe, he saw I had tears,
and Master James hit me with the taser."
"Taser?" The word dropped out of my mouth and onto the bed, just kind of
lying there like a dead frog in the road. She cried, and he tased her? TASED
her?
She only nodded.
"Master Aro told Master James to make sure it didn't happen again," she said.
"So Master James told me I had to practice more. He would…hold it…"
Again she stopped to collect herself. When she spoke again, I could barely hear
her.

"He held it in my throat, and I couldn't breathe, and my eyes would tear up.
Then he would hold the taser on my…um…between my legs…and then he'd do
it again until I could do it without any tears."
I heard a hitch in her breath again, and when I looked to her face I could see
her teeth biting hard into her lip. I reached out my hand again, this time making
sure she was the movement before I touched her, and touched her cheek with
the backs of my fingers. She looked at me.
"I won't cry," she said quickly
"They aren't here, Bella," I reminded her. "You can cry if you want."
"You don't like it when they cry," she said quietly, then quickly looked away.
Oh fuck.
Realizations and rationalizations rolled over me like a fucking Hum-Vee driven

by a five-foot-nothing suburban housewife through the parking lot at Target. I
couldn't bring myself to even say the words, even in my mind, but I did
understand what had been done to her, and whose request made it a necessity.
"You can cry, Bella," I told her. "I don't care if you cry. I want you to cry, if you
need to."
Her eyes stared up at me for the longest moment of silence I had ever endured.
Her chin began to quiver, and she sucked in a long breath before wailing out the
most gut-wrenching sound I had ever heard.

I held her tightly against me as her body shook with sobs, and my chest was
coated with her tears. I could not pretend that I was not the cause of this, not
this time. Whatever lines I had tried to blur between fantasy and reality were
deadlocked in place now, in dark, bold sharpie. My whole body felt cold, even
though the temperature in the room was warm. Moving and breathing were
difficult, and my eyes wouldn't even close.
What else had they done, and would she ever tell me any more of it? How much
of what she had been through was directly because of the specifications I had
outlined in the application?
Sometime later, Bella had cried herself to sleep on my chest while I continued to
stare at the ceiling. At some point, I must have drifted off as I tried to empty my
mind of the horrors bouncing around inside of it.
Strangely enough, I had my own dream pulled from the dark recesses of my
childhood memories.
I was dragging Eric – the boy a couple of years younger than me and the only
other child in the small trailer complex – up the rocky hill, across the railroad
tracks and down again – into the city landfill. It wasn't really a landfill, like they
called it, but just a trash heap. No one ever covered anything up.
We were looking for bicycles, because the rich people threw away all kinds of
good stuff and all we had to do was find it under the nasty stuff. A lot of my toys
had been found in that place. We didn't find any bikes that day, but I did find a
small, plastic, tinny sounding toy piano. It was in the shape of a snail, with the
keys kind of lodged into the front of the spiraled shell. I hauled it back home,
and tried to make it sound like a real piano.

I asked my mom if I could have lessons so I could learn to play it. I only asked
once.
Eventually, I figured out how to play some songs – Mary Had a Little Lamb
and Heart and Soul. It didn't sound right, but I still really liked it, and I would
pretend I had a real piano and I was in a concert hall where everyone could
hear me play. They would all cheer when I was done, and I would bow.
In the dream, I remembered playing the piano next to the driveway. There was
a little concrete patio underneath the torn green awning jutting out from the
window of the trailer. I heard the roar of the car engine, looked up, and saw my
mom heading straight for me. I had to roll out of the way to avoid the tires, but
the piano was smashed. My mom was holding one of her funny smelling bottles
in her hand when she got out of the car and yelled at me for leaving my toys in
the way.
My eyes flew open. I hadn't had a dream about where I grew up in years, nor
had I thought of the little toy piano in all that time. I remembered crying when I
realized it wouldn't play at all any more, no matter how I tried to fit the plastic
pieces back together.
I never touched another instrument after that day.
Bella woke shortly after I did. After her initial disorientation, she looked up at
me. Her expression was confused.
"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"You aren't angry about me crying?" Her words seemed to be both a question
and a statement.
"No," I replied. "You can cry whenever you want to."
"Are you still my Master?"
"Not…really," I said. "I'm not going to make you do anything. I think you
should stay with me for now, though. Once Aro is out of the picture, you can go
what you want."
"Out of the picture?"
"I'm going to kill him," I said. "I know you didn't like the idea yesterday, but
there is no way I'm going to let him live. Not him, and not anyone else who hurt
you."
Her eyes sparkled with tears again.
"There are so many of them," she said quietly. "If he kills you first…"
"If he kills me, I know – you go back to him. I'm not going to let that happen.
I'm going to do this, and I'm going to win."
I get what I want, right?
Chapter 23
When I got out of the shower – yes, after jerking off – Bella was sitting up in my
bed, staring down at her hands. I felt a little weird standing there in nothing but
a towel, which was especially odd because she did have my dick in her mouth
just a couple of nights ago. Thinking about that now, after she had revealed
what they had done to her, was about as good an erection killer as they come,

though. If fact, it didn't just make me droopy, it also made me sick to my
stomach.
Yeah, that was you, Edward Cullen.
Fucker.
Bella glanced up at me, and the back down to her hands. I mumbled some
excuse before taking my jeans back into the bathroom with me to dress. When I
came back out, she was in the same position, her fingers twisting around
themselves like she was trying to make pretzels out of them. She shifted a little,
and the sheet feel off of her leg, exposing some of her thigh and the panties she
was wearing – the black ones.
"Shit."
She looked up at me quickly, her eyes widening.
"I need to get you more clothes, don't I?"
She just shrugged and went back to twirling her fingers.
"Maybe Alice could take you," I said, though I wondered just where in the hell
Alice even shopped. Something about her just didn't ever scream mall-rat to me.
"I mean, she would at least be better at it than I am, I should think."
I tried to laugh it off, but the sound was hollow. Bella didn't look up at me
again, so I turned and grabbed a button up shirt from the closet and shoved my
arms through the sleeves.
"Edward?" Bella said softly.

"Yeah, what is it?" I answered. She still wasn't looking at me.
"Will he know?" she asked. "I mean, won't he find out if you are going to um…
what you said?"
"Is he going to find out I'm going to kill him?"
"Yeah."
"Hopefully no more than a second or two before there's a bullet in his head." No
point in subtleness now.
She nodded and bit down on her lip.
"What?" I asked, because it was clear she had something else to say.
"So, he wouldn't know about me talking to you? About my dream, I mean?"
"My place isn't bugged, if that's what worries you. I have it checked and there is
monitoring equipment."
"So, if I told you something else, he wouldn't find out?"
My hands went cold. Something in her tone was just a little too foreboding, and
I honestly wasn't sure if I could hear any more of what she had to say. Then I
remembered just what the hell I had done, asking for a virgin with a good
handle on oral, and figured whatever she had to say, I was going to listen to it. I
walked over from my dresser and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"He won't find out," I told her. "I promise."
I hoped I was right.
She looked up to my eyes, and I could see them tearing up again. After last
night, I wouldn't have thought she had any tears left. Can you get dehydrated
from crying too much? Fuck if I knew.
"He has my mom."
Oh fuck.
This is as bad as it can get, right?

Chapter 24
It was a good thing I hadn't had any breakfast yet, because I pretty sure I would
have lost it.
"Your mom?" I squeaked.
"When they took me, they took her, too." Bella said. She was back to staring at
her hands.
"Took you?"
"We were coming out of a movie," Bella said with a shrug. "We always go to the
late night movie every Friday. Mom doesn't like crowds, and the later ones are
usually not as full. It's kind of a tradition."
"What happened?" I asked. I didn't want to know – I knew I didn't want to

know, but I also needed to know. I didn't want to need to know, and I knew
that, too.
Fuck.

"We went out the back," she said, "through the alley. I guess they were waiting
for us."
She stopped and took a deep breath before she went on.
"Master Aro said if I wasn't good enough for you, he would kill her, too." She
turned suddenly and raised herself up on her knees. Her arms went around my
neck and she held on tightly. "Please, Edward – if you can really do that…if you
can really kill him…please, please! You have to help my mom, too!"
I shook my head to clear it as I tried to comprehend everything she had just told
me. They were waiting for her. Had they been stalking her for weeks before
they grabbed her, or was she just a random victim with the bad luck of being in
the wrong place at the wrong time? How long had they watched her
beforehand? How long had she been with them?
My stomach churned.
"When?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
"When what?"
"When did they…um…take you? How long ago?"
"I don't know exactly how long it's been," she admitted. "But I think it was June
twentieth when we were at the movie."
June twentieth.
My birthday.
Four days after I filled out the application with Aro.

I disentangled myself from her grip and ran to the bathroom. Breakfast or not,
whatever was there wasn't going to be staying in my stomach. I couldn't pretend
anymore that this was just Aro's doing. I was completely at fault. He didn't just
pull her from a batch of girls he had hidden away somewhere, but had chosen
her off the street to meet my requests.
And it wasn't just her.
I dry heaved over and over again until my stomach cramped up and my knees
gave out. It was hard to breathe, and I could feel myself hyperventilating. No
wonder she was willing to do anything and everything asked of her. No wonder
she was even willing to throw herself between me and a gun-toting assassin. No
wonder she was so scared out of her mind. She wasn't just worried about her
own life and what I might do to her, she was protecting her mother.
A mother who took her to movies and probably taught her how to cook and
other shit like that. An actual mother – the way they were supposed to be.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth again. The minty toothpaste wasn't
doing anything for the nausea, though. I swallowed a couple times before
dragging myself back out to the bedroom on shaky legs. Bella was in the same
spot on the bed, with tears running down her face. I tried to speak, but all I
managed to do was make a sound like a frog in heat.
"You don't have to," Bella whispered through her tears. "I shouldn't have said
anything…"
"Fuck! No!" I yelled, then immediately felt like a total ass when she jumped half
out of her skin. I took the couple of steps to the edge of the bed and dropped

down next to her. I reached up and took her face in my hands and stared into
her deep, brown eyes. "I will find her, too. I swear to God, I'll find her, too."
I wiped her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs, and the realization hit me again
and again, like there was a heavy-weight champ taking pot-shots at my chest.
Wham! Wham! Wham! You did it! You did it! You did it! Your fault! Your
fault! Your fault!
"This is all my fault, Bella." I had to swallow hard again to keep speaking. "All of
it. I can't…I can't take it back now, but I swear to you – if it is the last thing I
do – I swear I am going to find her and I'm going to kill every fucker who laid a
hand on either of you."
I loosened my grip on her, and she fell against my chest with her arms around
my shoulders. Did she realize it was all because of what I asked for? Did she
know she was chosen and beaten into what I wanted her to be? I didn't actually
hold the fucking taser, but I might as well have.
"I swear to God every one of them is going to pay."
I could at least make it better, right?
Chapter 25
"Here's where we're going to have a problem." Alice stubbed her cigarette out
on my table and tapped one of the empty boxes on her org chart. It depicted
Aro's organization from the top down, outlining all the known key players
within the structure. "There two people are unknown, and just getting a name is

going to be an issue. The Italian group is also going to be a problem, and we
can't forget their Paris outfit."
"There's only three of them there," I said, pointing at the diagram. "None of the
others in France have strong loyalty ties. I can take them out, and I think we
could even save them for last. They're isolated, and it will take a while for them
to get the news."
"A while?"
"Well, a few hours at least."
"We have to hit Italy and Paris at the same time."
"We have to take out both Aro's group and Laurent's here, first."
"Definitely." Alice leaned back and lit another cigarette. "We're going to need
reinforcements."
"Who?"
"The Hales, I think. Maybe McCarty, too."
"What do we need the Hales for?" I asked. I didn't really care much for Rosalie
Hale, and she sure as hell hated my guts. McCarthy was a good guy, though. He
was efficient, and definitely one who took pride in his work.
"Well, Jasper can get the documentation you are going to need to get her out of
the country," Alice said with a nod towards Bella. "Besides, I've been fucking
him on the side for a while now."
"Damnit, Alice!" I leaned back as the mental image infested my brain. I was
pretty sure it actually left little, irreparable holes in my occipital lobe. "Do you
really have to tell me that shit?"
She just shrugged.

"He's got a fucking huge penis," she said. "He might even give you a run for
your money! Oh, and his tongue, let me tell you…"
She giggle-snorted, and smoke billowed out of her nose.
"Alice, shut the fuck up." I tapped my finger on the iPad screen to get her
attention back on target. Well...on targets, really. Ha! I slay me. "Who are we
missing?"
"There were seven people at their last meeting," Alice continued once she had
finished her little giggle-fest. A chick wearing her boots really shouldn't giggle,
if you ask me. It just wasn't right. "I have some surveillance from right outside,
and there is one person I can't identify. This may very well be the guy we want."
Alice pulled up a group of grainy photographs.
"That's James," Bella said softly.
I looked up into her suddenly very pale face, and I remembered the name from
her dream. I was abruptly overcome with anger.
"He's the…um…trainer." She could hardly get the words out of her mouth, and
I stood quickly, afraid she was going to actually collapse. She kept staring at the
photograph until I reached for the touch screen and pushed the image away.
"Bella, look at me," I said, but she kept her eyes trained on the iPad screen,
though the picture was now of a guy named Felix. Fuck, what if he had hurt
her, too? "Alice, turn the fucking thing off."
She pressed the button on the center bottom of the device and moved the whole
thing back away from Bella.

"Come on, Bella," I said. "Let's go out on the balcony, okay? A little fresh air,
maybe?"
She nodded mutely, allowing me to lead her through the sliding glass doors.
"Want a smoke?" I asked as I pulled one out of my pocket.
She looked up to me, her expression confused.
"I…I don't smoke."
"Right," I said, and sighed.
"This is impossible, isn't it?" Bella said quietly as she stared out across the
cityscape. "There are so many of them."
Bella turned and stepped closer to me.
"Edward, maybe you shouldn't do this," she said. I could see the beginning of
tears in her eyes again. Ever since I gave her permission to cry, she'd been doing
it. "I mean, I can just…be with you like you wanted. I could still be your…um…
your slave. And then you don't have to do this and my mom will be okay."
I flicked the butt over the railing and watched it spark as it hit a balcony farther
down. I thought about telling her that whatever Aro was going to do with her
mother, he had probably already done it. She could already be dead, and just the
thought of it would be enough to keep Bella in line. I didn't say that though,
because I didn't know what the fuck she would do if I did say it.
"I'm not going to do that to you," I told her. "And I'm going to fuck James up
personally for what he did to you. I'm going to rip him apart, and if you want a
souvenir – you just let me know what piece of him you want on a chain and I'll
make sure you get it."

I cringed, realizing how fucking stupid – not to mention morbid – that sounded.
Bella turned and furrowed her brow at me, looking a bit disgusted. I couldn't
blame her for that. But then, she pinched her lips together tightly and the
corners of her mouth twitched.
A moment after that, she laughed out loud, her hand covering her mouth as she
literally screeched with laughter. She actually doubled over with her arm
wrapped around her stomach as she kept guffawing. With one more snort, she
turned towards me.
"How about nailing his dick to the wall for me?"
"Gladly," I responded with a smile. Her laugh sounded beautiful.
She laughed again, but then her face suddenly fell, and the laughter abruptly
changed to sobs again. A moment after that, I was holding her tightly to my
chest.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be," I replied. "I will kill him for you. He'll never hurt you again, I
promise you that."
Bella nodded, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and allowed me to lead
her back into the apartment. Alice was back to playing Angry Birds, but also
seemed to be on the phone with someone.
"Yeah – no fucking clue what he's doing…yeah, I thought so, too…obviously

better at arms deals that anything personal – ha! Yeah?...okay…let me check.
Hey Edward!"

"Yeah?"
"You gonna need a passport, driver's license – what else for her?"
"I don't know," I said, realizing she must be talking to Jasper Hale. "What does
he suggest?"
"He wants to know what else he should get…you think? Yeah…okay. Jasper
says you should get a marriage license, too. Makes things easier."
"Marriage license?"
"Yeah, dude – you're getting married!" Alice began to laugh.
This just keeps getting better and better, right?

Chapter 26
"One more ought to do it," Jasper Hale said as he snapped another picture of
Bella.
I had to admire her ability to actually smile for a good picture under such
circumstances. It didn't quite hit her eyes, but it at least appeared genuine
enough – as good as any driver's license picture, anyway.
Emmett and Rosalie were standing over her laptop, bringing up dozens of
schematic layouts of Aro's primary residence, where he housed his operation.
Alice was attacking my wet-bar, and I was going over the lists of names of the
people we were going to kill.
Al in a days work.
"I'll get these forwarded on to my contact," Jasper continued. "He should then
have everything he needs, and we should have these back to us by tomorrow."
Good," I said. "We need to discuss more about Aro's layout."
"I got it," Rosalie said. It was the first words she actually spoke responding to
me directly. I let Alice explain what was going on to Jasper, and Jasper
explained it to Rosalie. He still had to hold her back when she got in my
presence, but she had since resorted to near silent treatment instead. She
activated the projector, and her laptop images displayed on the wall in my great
room.
For the next few hours we went over the layout of the building, mapping out
just how many people we were going to need to both infiltrate the building and
eliminate all the key players. There were nine people at the top of Aro's
organization, and we'd have to take them all out. Once eliminated, it would just
be a matter of divvying up the remaining low-rung people between my

organization and the Hale's. Only the big players cared about which team they
played on – the others would go to the highest bidder. It happened the same
way when I eliminated Marcus and his cronies, with Alice's help, and it would
be the same this time.
Laurent's group was also tied to Aro, though only when it came to drug
running, illegal imports, and money laundering. Laurent didn't do slaves. There
were only four in his group with loyalty to Aro, and we were counting on
Emmett McCarty's own greed to solve that for us. He was loosely associated,
but also in competition when it came to some of the importing Laurent's group
did. He wanted the whole group to himself, which made it easier – a hostile
takeover versus elimination.
"We'll use The Pack to go after Aro," Emmett said. "They should be more than
enough. I can use my boys to get Laurent – they'll love it.
The Pack was the group led by Alice – there were ten of them, and they were
the best of the best of the best. With honors.
"That leaves Italy and Paris," Alice noted on the screen.
"I've got Paris," I reminded her. "I can handle them."
"Alice and I will take Italy," Jasper said. He winked at Alice. "We should be
able to take half The Pack and get it done without a problem. They're not near
as well guarded as they think they are."
"What are you going to do with Bella?" Alice questioned.
"I'm taking her with me," I said. "She's chipped, and we need to look into
removal when this is over, because I don't know who outside of Aro's group will
have access to the slaves' whereabouts. She stays with me."

"Fuck you, Cullen," Rosalie stood up and poked me in the chest. "What makes
you think she's going anywhere with you?"
"She's coming with me," I said, but I kept my eyes on the screen, not looking at
either of them.
"How about you give her a choice in the matter, asshole?" Rosalie poked me
again. "Why the fuck would she want to be anywhere near you now?"
"I'm taking her with me," I muttered, and I shoved Rosalie's hand away from
my chest. I finally looked over at Bella where she sat on the couch and stared at
us. She looked from me, to Rosalie, then back to me. Alice jumped up off the
stool in the kitchen and walked over to me, pushed Rose away, then sucker
punched me…again.
"Owww! Goddamnit, Alice!"
"You are an asshole," she said with a shrug.
"Amen to that," Rosalie echoed.
"Will you all cut this shit out?" Emmett growled. "She should stay with him,
because fuck if she is coming with me, and he's right – this is his fuck-up in the
first place. Let him deal with her. It's not like we can leave her on her own at
this point."
"I'll stay with Edward," Bella finally piped up. She was looking at the ground
now, and I went over to her and sat down next to her on the couch. She looked
up at me. "What do I need to do?
"First, you learn how to shoot," I said. "You shouldn't need it, but it's best to be
prepared."
"I know how to shoot.
"Good," I said, somewhat surprised. Slave with a gun – who would have
thought? "What can you shoot?"

"Most hand guns," she said. "I've fired a few shotguns as well."
"Fuckin-A!" Alice cheered. I narrowed my eyes at her, and thought about asking
Bella just how she knew about guns, but figured that could wait for another
time.
"You're with me," I told Bella as I glared over at Rosalie. She shot a few eye-
daggers in my direction before slumping back down next to her laptop and
growling under her breath.
I couldn't say exactly why I was important, but I was going to be the one to get
Bella out of this. I wasn't going to ditch her with one of the others to drag her
through cleaning up my mess. As long as Aro lived and she was chipped, she
was in danger. I had to make sure both Bella and her mother were safe. I started
it, and I was going to end it.
She was my responsibility, right?
Chapter 27:
"So this is how it goes," Jasper said. Rosalie tapped a few keys on the laptop
and brought up a bunch more diagrams. "We hit Aro and Laurent
simultaneously – Emmett's group takes Laurent, which should be fairly quick
and easy. Aro's group will be tougher, but we have The Pack and they have
absolutely no idea we're coming."
"We have the flights booked," Alice informed us all. "Jasper and I head off
immediately for Itlay, and Edward, Bella will be on a flight to Paris six hours
later."

"Why later?" Bella asked. She had been occasionally inserting herself into a
bunch of the planning, which I found…interesting, at least. Surprising, too.
"You and I are going to make a pit stop," I told her. "See if we can locate your
chip."
Her eyes met mine and her teeth bit into her lip. She nodded and dropped her
eyes to the ground. She still did that all the time, even though I told her she
didn't have to anymore.
"Look here where there's a dark spot on the surveillance camera," Rose said as
she pointed back to the video of Aro's abode. "There's a lot of electronic locks –
not just at what looks like the main doorway, either. A whole bunch of them in a
row. Get it?"
"The slaves," I said quietly as I glanced at Bella out of the corner of my eye.
"Has to be," Alice agreed.
"Bella's mom could be there," I replied with a nod.
"What's your mom's name, Bella?" Jasper asked. Of course he would ask. It
hadn't even fucking occurred to me to ask for her name.
"Renee," Bella said. "You think she is there?"
"Definitely," I responded.
"What the fuck, Edward?" Rosalie snapped at me. "You have no idea if she is
there or not! Stop giving her false hope, asshole! You don't even know if she's-"
"Shut the fuck up, Rosalie!" I screamed at her, finally losing it. I didn't need her
this badly. She was only here for the tech, not the killing, so I didn't fucking
need her at all anymore. I definitely didn't need her saying anything to make
Bella feel worse than she already did.

I yanked open the nearest drawer in the kitchen and pulled out a Heckler and
Koch and aimed it at the bitch's head. At the same time, Alice stood beside me,
her Berretta a mere half dozen inches from my temple.
"I'm fucking sick of your mouth!" I shouted at Rose. She just continued to glare
at me, figuring I wasn't about to pull the trigger
I may have had her in my sights once or twice before.
I could hear Alice's breathing next to me, but I didn't look at her. I did
remember she said she was fucking Jasper, and the chances of her letting me
fuck up his sister probably weren't all that great. Emmett stood up from his
chair, walked slowly around the table and stood between us.
"Put the gun down, Edward."
"Fuck you." There wasn't a lot of oomph in my voice left, but the sentiment was
still there.
"Edward, you're scaring your girl there."
Okay, that got my attention.
My eyes swiveled to Bella, curled up on the couch and biting her lip with wide,
terrified eyes.
"Fuck," I mumbled, and I shoved the gun in the back of my jeans.
"It's all right Bella," I heard Jasper saying. "They've done this before."
"I think we're done for now anyway," Emmett said. He took Rosalie by the hand
and folded her laptop up for her, kissed her on the cheek and said they'd be
back in the morning. Rose just glared at me, but I didn't acknowledge her.

"You wanna come home with me?" Alice asked Bella. "You don't have to stay
here with ass-wipe."
"Yes she does," Jasper said.
I was about to say the same thing, but I was kind of glad he spoke up first,
because I really didn't have a good reason other than wanting her here. I wasn't
even sure why I wanted that, since it just seemed to continue to lead to more
jerking off.
"Why?" Alice asked.
"She's still chipped," Jasper told her. "I doubt Aro is checking up on her, but he
may notice if she's spending her nights away from his place, you know?"
He was right, of course.
With that settled, everyone started to leave, with Rosalie managing to smack me
upside the head on the way out, promising the next time I pulled a gun on her to
turn it around and blow my face off. Alice followed with another kidney punch.
Jasper was the last to leave, and I walked him to the door while Bella excused
herself to the bathroom.
"I should have all the paperwork from Jenks tomorrow," he said. "We spend
tomorrow night planning, Alice get's The Pack ready for their part of the show,
and we'll be hosting this little party come Monday morning."
"Good." I nodded.
"She's going to need you," Jasper said as he nodded his head in the direction of
the hallway. "You suck at this shit, so I hope you can handle it
"Handle what?"
Jasper shook his head.

"You're so fucking clueless, Cullen," he said, but his tone really wasn't that pissy
or mean. "I've seen the way you are with women before, you know. You suck at
it."
"Thanks," I said – sarcasm set to stun
"You do," he confirmed with another nod. "You know you do, which is why you
went this route in the first place. Anyone with a fucking clue would have hired a
hooker, or at least checked out a legitimate Dom/sub club or something – but
not you. You have to take it to the extreme. Well, the extreme is going to bite
you in the ass, now. Good luck with that."
He walked out the door without another word. I dropped down onto the couch
next to where Bella had been sitting and dropped my head into my hands.
Several minutes passed in silence while I contemplated my hatred of Rosalie
Hale, and wondered again how the same parents could have produced both her
and Jasper, who was kind of a decent guy – all things considered. Eventually, I
felt the couch shift as Bella sat back down beside me.
"Were you really going to kill her?" Bella asked quietly.
"Maybe." I shrugged. "I usually want to kill her. She needs to keep her fucking
mouth shut."
"I thought you all were friends or something?"
"No, it's just business."
"Who are your friends, then?"
"Don't have any," I replied. "Never saw the point."
"But you and Rosalie really don't like each other, do you?"
"Not much."

There was another long pause before Bella spoke again.
"She thinks my mom is dead, doesn't she?"
"No!" I cried out as I raised my head back up to look at her. "Shit…no, she isn't,
okay?"
"She might be, though?" I watched the pain flood over her eyes, and I couldn't
lie to her.
"I don't know," I admitted.
"He said if…if I did what he wanted…she'd…she'd…"
I held her again as her tears soaked my shirt, and prayed to a God I didn't
believe in to make her mom all right, because there were some things I just
couldn't fix enough to make a difference.
Her mom had to be okay, right?

Chapter 28
By the time everyone else had left, it was already past midnight. Bella looked
wiped out, which is how I felt. I suggested going to bed, and as we walked from
the great room to the hallway together, Bella hesitated as she looked to the door
of her room, and then down to the floor.
"Bella?" I asked. "Do you…want to stay with me?"
She continued to look at the floor, and for a minute I thought she was going to
start crying again, but she didn't. She just nodded, so I held the door to my
room open for her.
It was about that time I realized I still didn't have any more fucking clothes for
her.
"Shit," I mumbled, and Bella looked up to me with her brow furrowed as I

griped about being an idiot. I rifled through a couple of dresser drawers and
came up with a pair of boxers and a t-shirt for her. She smiled and took them
from me before heading into the bathroom to change.
I was so fucking useless when it came to the most basic shit. Jasper was right –
it was no wonder I couldn't keep a girlfriend for more than a month. I just
didn't think about that kind of shit. I never had. I would go all day without
eating just because I got wrapped up in whatever else I was doing and forgot
about it. Then I'd realize my stomach was growling, look up and figure out the
whole day had gone by. I would run out of shaving cream but totally forget to
pick any more up at the store for a week, too. I would have hired someone to

take care of that kind of shit, but there just weren't too many people I trusted,
and I didn't want anyone with a key to my place.
Obviously, it wasn't just myself I couldn't take care of.
I changed into a T-shirt and pajama pants and climbed into bed, still propped up
on the pillows and not really lying down. I was really exhausted, but my mind
was flying by at a mile a minute. The details of our plan, wondering what to do
about clothing for Bella, and some of the shit Jasper had said to me was all
trying to compete for attention in my head.
Bella came out of the bathroom, and damn if seeing her in my clothes wasn't
seriously hot. I don't know why – I'd never had a woman wearing my clothes
before – but something about it just made my heart start to pound. She was
looking at the floor again, and didn't make any eye contact with me as she
slowly lowered herself to the other side of the bed. She laid down on her back,
and had to scoot herself up onto the pillow when she apparently remembered
she could use it.
That shit still pissed me off.
"Thank you," Bella said quietly while she fidgeted with her fingers. "You know –
for letting me stay here."
"I don't mind," I said. I almost opened up my mouth to make a crack about how
I bought her just so she would have to be in my bed, but managed to stifle
myself before it escaped. I was not a complete idiot. Well, at least I could learn.
Sometimes.
Bella wrapped her arms around herself and lay on her back, staring up at the
ceiling. Now that I had a better idea of what was contained in her dreams, I was

not surprised she didn't want to be alone. I was surprised she wanted to be near
me. I was also…glad?
I wanted her close to me – it just seemed safer for her, though I wasn't sure
exactly from what at this point. Aro and I had been doing business for eight
years, and he had no reason to think I was anything other than a satisfied
customer. It just might have been all the talk of wiping out a major crime
organization that made me get a little paranoid. Ever that was odd, though.
Even when I knew I was going into a situation where I could die, II didn't
usually care that much.
"I don't want to go to sleep," Bella suddenly said. "I'm so tired, but…"
"Nightmares?"
"Yeah." Bella nodded. "When Rosalie was talking about the um…the place when
he kept us…"
She took a deep breath.
"I just can't stop thinking about it now, and I know I'm going to dream about it."
I knew I should say something. I mean, I was supposed to say something at

about this time, wasn't I? What the fuck it was supposed to be, I didn't know,
though, so I just kind of hummed at her like the moron I was. Fuck, I had to do
something, or say something, didn't I? All this shit was my fault, but I didn't
know what to do. I didn't know how to make it any better for her.
Oh wait…I guess I could ask.
"Is there anything I can do?"

Bella turned towards me and we locked eyes for a moment.
"Will you just talk to me?" she asked. "Take my mind off of it?"
"What do you want me to talk about?"
"Anything," she said. "Tell me something about you?"
"Like what?"
"Well, I don't really know anything about you," she said with a shrug. "I know
you…um…have a thing for guns. Did you always like them? Did you get a BB
gun for Christmas or something when you were a kid?"
I had to laugh at that one.
"Um, no," I said. "We didn't do Christmas."
"Are you Jewish?"
"No…we just…um…" I was back to having no clue what to say. How do you
explain that your parents never told you about Santa because they couldn't buy
gifts and a tree to put up? When your parents both spent more time on
unemployment and welfare – half the time trading the food stamps for beer –
there just wasn't a whole lot of gift giving going on. "We just didn't celebrate it.
Actually, I didn't know about it until I went to school."
"You didn't know about Christmas?" Bella's eyes went wide.
I shook my head.
"How can you live in the United States and not know about Christmas?" she
exclaimed. "I mean, the stores have all the decorations up by mid August, it's on

television constantly – how can you miss the most commercialized holiday
ever?"
"I never went to a store," I told her. "I don't really remember ever leaving our
trailer park until someone from the school district came by and told them I had
to be enrolled or they'd lose some of their welfare check. So, they put me in
school when I was about seven, I think. I hadn't seen a lot of stuff before then."
"Oh my God," she whispered. "You're serious, aren't you?"
I nodded again.
"No big deal," I said. "My income more than makes up for it now."
"Where are they?"
"Who?"
"Your parents?"
"No idea," I told her. I really didn't want to take this any father, but if it would
help get her mind off of what she had been remembering…well, maybe I should
talk about it.
I kind of owed that to her, right?

Chapter 29
Bella was still looking up from her pillow at me, and I tried to think about what
I could actually tell her. I had no idea where to start – I had never talked to
anyone about my past, not even social services when they finally figured out I
had been left there, unsupervised. There was counseling at the school across
town, and they made me go see her once a week, but I refused to talk to her. I
had no idea what to say now.
I took a deep breath, and figured I'd start at the…end.
"I came home from school one day and they were just gone," I said with a shrug.
"I mean, they were gone a lot, and sometimes even for a few days, but this time
they just didn't come back. There wasn't a ton of food I the house, but one of
the neighbors would usually give me a burger or something when he was
grilling out, so I didn't starve or anything. I figured they would be back
eventually, but about…I don't know – maybe a month or so later, a couple of
guys showed up with a big tractor trailer and told me to get my shit out, because
they were repossessing it."
"They took your house?"
"Yeah," I said. "I guess they hadn't been keeping up on the payments or
whatever. I don't know who was dumb enough to actually give them a loan."
"What did you do?"
I shrugged again.
"I grabbed my clothes and shoved them into my school backpack," I told her.
"There really wasn't anything worth keeping."

"But…where did you go?" Bella's forehead got all scrunched up and she peered
at me with this cute little confused look on her face.
"I just…stayed there."
"With the neighbor?"
"No," I said. I stopped for a minute. How do you explain shit like this? "There
was a little tent thing over the cement where the car parked – a kind of canopy
thing. I just…stayed there."
"How old were you?"
"Fifteen."
"So what happened to them?"
"Who?"
"Your parents!" Bella yelled out, obviously exacerbated by my lack of input. I

really just didn't know what to say.
"I don't know – never saw them again."
"Oh my God, Edward – that's horrible!"
I had to kind of smirk at that – the chick who was kidnapped and tortured into
slavery thought my life was horrible. It was a freaking picnic compared to the
last month of hers.
"Not really," I said. "They weren't exactly model parents to begin with."
I didn't really know what so say after that, so I just kind of sat there. My life
hadn't really been all that bad, at least, up until they left. Being a ward of the
state sucked, because they kept wanting me to do shit all the time. Once I

starting working for Marcus and Caius I just dropped out of school and took
off. Things got better then.
Bella just kept looking at me, waiting for me to go on, I guess.
I didn't want to talk about this shit, I really didn't. I also didn't want her to start
thinking about the place she was held prisoner, either, so I was kind of stuck
with conversation. Not my forte. I tried to figure out what she would want to
hear, and ended up just babbling, of course.
"Mom…she drank…a lot. Dad just wasn't there most of the time. He did odd
jobs and whatever, but he was gone more than he was there. When he was
there, he was usually yelling about the place being a mess or whatever. Mom
just drank and ignored him, mostly. I don't know why they were together at all."
"What did you do?" she asked.
"Do?" I had no idea what she meant. "Do about what?"
"When your parents were…acting like that."
I looked away for a minute and tried to think about what she was asking. What
did I do? I didn't really remember doing anything. Speaking up or getting into
the middle of it in any way was an extremely bad idea, as I learned early on.
"I usually…went outside, I guess."
"And did what?"
"I don't know," I shrugged again. The whole line of questioning was starting to
aggravate me, but I didn't want her to know that. I really just never thought
about it, and didn't know how to answer. I never cared what my parents did –
they were just…there. Sometimes. If I ran out of food or something I always

managed to fend for myself okay, so what difference did it make? "Just…went
outside. There was another kid who lived close by for a while. Sometimes we
went looking for…stuff."
I really didn't want to talk about looking for toys in the dump.
An awkward silence followed. I think she was waiting for me to continue, but I
didn't know what else to say. I was a crappy conversationalist, unless you
wanted to talk about guns or something. I didn't really think she'd go for that. I
finally glanced over at her, and saw her eyes start to droop.
"You should get some sleep," I said.
Bella nodded, but kept her eyes trained to my face for a while. I couldn't figure
out her expression, but it was making me a little nervous, so I looked away, and
then shifted myself down so I was laying flat on the bed, but still up on my
elbow and facing her. She just looked kind of…sad. I didn't know why.
"You never had anyone take care of you, did you?" Bella finally said.
"I can take care of myself," I said with another shrug. I was getting really good
at shrugging. Maybe there was a contest or something.
"That's not the point." Bella rolled over and maneuvered herself just a little
closer, and I felt her arm run up and around my waist. I didn't know what the
point was, but my arm went on autopilot and reached out to wrap around her,
too. Before I had the chance to ask her about it at all, she had already conked
out.
So I watched her sleep.

She looked so…young. Eighteen was an adult, sure, but she just looked so much
younger in sleep. Maybe it was because I had a full ten years on her that made
me think of it, but mostly she just looked young and really innocent.
Which, of course, she was before I decided I needed her in my life.
Well, not her specifically, but someone who looked like her.
Eighteen.
Virgin.
Cocksucker.
My chest clenched.
I thought a little about what she had said. No one ever took care of me, that was
true, I guess, but I didn't really know what I was supposed to do with the
information. I guess she was right, in a way. I just never thought about it. Is that
what other people's parents did? So why didn't mine?
I pushed the thoughts away and went back to thinking about her. I wondered if
she would have another nightmare, and if she did, would she tell me about it. I
wondered if I wanted to hear it, and was pretty sure I didn't.
But I was going to listen anyway.
Because it was my fucking fault. All of it, and I couldn't take it back.
But I was going to make up for it, right?

Chapter 30
I hovered in that little space between being asleep and being awake.
I had just faded out of a dream of some sort. Nothing substantial – just cement,
rain, and some flashing lights. There was a scent that was only vaguely familiar
– like something I had smelled only a couple of times before, but never
associated the scent with its source. It was fresh and cleansing, like spring rain.
Bella.
I felt the corners of my mouth twitch, and my eyes opened slowly to look
straight into hers, a mere few inches from my face. One of my arms cradled her
head, which was using my bicep as a pillow, and the other was wrapped tightly
around her waist. Bella's shirt…well, my shirt…had ridden up a bit, so my
fingers rested on her bare skin right above her hip. Her expression was strange
and indefinable, and I would almost have called it empty, but that didn't fit
either. Like my arm around her, I could feel her forearm against my side, and
the tips of her fingers grazed my back. She continued to just stare at me, and I
her.
It was extraordinarily uncomfortable.
I figured I was probably supposed to say something now, but I had no idea
what. Good morning? Want some breakfast? Did you sleep well? I really didn't
know, and none of the girls I had ever dated or slept with had spent the night in
my bed, or I in theirs.
Maybe I should just say hi?

Instead, when I finally couldn't stand the silence any longer, I just babbled.
"Did you…um…dream?"
Her eyes dropped for a minute, then looked back to mine. They were dimmer
now, and not as lively. Her look answered my question before she nodded.
"Do you want to…tell me?"
"It wasn't bad," she said, her voice hoarse from sleep. "Just…cold."
"Cold?" I echoed as I reached down for the blanket and pulled it up a little
higher.
"No, not now." Bella shook her head. "You're warm."
She blushed. Just a little twinge of pink in her cheeks as she looked away from
my eyes for a moment. I had no fucking idea why she would blush, but I was
kind of intrigued.
"It was cold in the…in the cells they kept us in."
It figured – she ended up dreaming about it anyway. So much for distracting

her. I didn't know what I should say, as usual, but when I didn't say anything
she kept going.
"The floor was bare cement, and it never really got warm."
"Were there others by you?" I asked. "I mean…other…girls."
"Yes," she said. "But we were not allowed to talk to each other. I did the first
time."

I didn't want to know. I knew I didn't want to know.
"What happened?" I asked anyway.
Bella took another deep breath and looked down towards my chest, though her
eyes appeared unfocused.
"I was yelling for my mom," she said quietly. "I think she was there, but maybe
they already told her she wasn't allowed to talk…I don't know. She didn't
answer though. I just wanted to know she was okay. I hadn't seen her since they
took us. Not since we were in the back of that van."
My silence seemed to be working for me, which was a very good thing since I
seemed to be completely incapable of making any kind of conversation. Bella
went on without any more prompting.
"James came in with a couple other guys. That was the first time he hit me with
the taser. I'd never felt anything like that at all…I couldn't move at all…and it
hurt – not just where he touched me, but everywhere."
I nodded – I knew this. I'd been hit with them a couple of times. I waited for her
to go on again, but she stayed silent. When I tilted my head to get a better look
at her face, she had gone completely pale.
"Bella?" I rubbed my hand against her side a bit, just to get her attention. She
finally looked up to me.
"I don't think I want to talk about this," she said, her voice barely loud enough
to hear. I nodded.

"I'll find your mom," I whispered. I meant it. I wanted to mean it. I hoped I
meant it.
"Don't say that, please," Bella looked back up to me, and the pain in her eyes
was unlike anything I had ever seen before. "You don't know if you will or not,
Edward. Rosalie was right."
"Fuck Rosalie," I growled. Just hearing her name had me itching to blow her
head off, and hearing her name and knowing how much Bella was hurting at the
same time just further imbedded my hatred.
"But she could be right," Bella said. "I have to…at least be prepared for that."
I went back to silence, because I was good at it and I wasn't any good at any of
this other shit. It worked, for a while at least. I had finally stopped thinking of
the best gun to use against Rose and had moved to what's for breakfast?
instead.
"Why did you buy me?" Bella suddenly asked.
Fuck.
I wasn't ready for this. If nothing else, I needed a gallon of coffee and a pack of
cigarettes first.
I felt my chest constricted again, which was beginning to be a really common

feeling for me. Actually, all of my body seemed to have tightened up a bit,
clenching and unclenching as if the sheer muscle force could somehow make the
right words expel out of my mouth instead of the total pig-swill that was a lot
more likely.
"I wanted…um…sex?" I finally blurted. It sounded like a question.

"Why didn't you just hire a prostitute? Or go to a bar and pick someone up?
Why did you…why did you want someone like me?"
"I didn't think…about what it meant." I rolled to my back and covered my eyes
with my hand. "I didn't know what I was doing."
"Didn't think about it?" Her voice cracked a little, the pitch spiking until she
took a harsh breath into her lungs. I moved my hand and looked back to her,
seeing the tears stating in her eyes. "You bought me without thinking about it?"
"I thought he just…had girls there," I told her. I wasn't really trying to defend
myself, just…explain. "I didn't know he was taking everything I said so he could
go…go look for a match. I didn't know Aro would take you off the fucking
street just for me…"
"Is that why?" Her throat was obviously tight, keeping the air from flowing
correctly and making her voice off. She sat up, and I pulled the arm she had
been resting on back to my chest. "You gave him your order, and I fit the bill?
Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?"
I did…sort of. I mean, I knew I didn't understand what was happening when I
first met with Aro, but I also knew I hadn't wanted to understand. Some of his
questions…I had refused to think about it. I still didn't want to think about it.
All I wanted was sex without having to go through all the work associated with
a girlfriend or the randomness of a hooker. One that would…stay.
"I can't take it back," I finally told her. "If I could, I swear to you I'd change it
all. But I can't. I can't take it back."
"No," she agreed, "you can't."

I wanted to say something else. From the moment I woke up, I had wanted to
find the right words to use with her, but I floundered, as I always did. I scooted
back against the pillows so I could sit up next to her.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly. I didn't know what fucking difference the word made,
but I said it anyway. For a while, she looked down at her hands in her lap and
didn't look at me at all. I stared off the side of the bed, like I thought some wise
old little gnome would pop out from under the bed and give me everything I
needed to know about women in a little box or something.
Or did gnomes just fix shoes?
Fuck it.
"The others should be here before too long," I finally said before the silence
literally killed me. Bella nodded and started to get up, but then she stopped and
turned to me.
"Thank you," she said simply.
"For what?" I asked, confused.
"For apologizing," she replied. "And for trying to distract me last night,"
"Oh…um…no problem," I mumbled back. I didn't really know how to take

what she had said. Did people really thank other people for saying they were
sorry? As far as distraction went, I guess that's what I was trying to do, so
mission accomplished there.
"Parents aren't supposed to be like that, Edward," she said. I felt her hand on
my arm, her fingers just lightly brushing my skin. It felt odd and out of place,
which counted for the twelfth thing I hadn't understood since waking up ten
minutes ago. She released me almost immediately and headed into the bathroom
while I wondered what she had meant.

My parents didn't hit me or anything, so it's not like I was abused. Dad would
yell, yeah, and we didn't have much of anything, but it wasn't all that bad. By
the time they left, I could take care of myself. The group home I ended up in the
first few months kind of sucked – rules and chores and curfews, oh my – but I
took off and had been making shitloads of money ever since. If nothing else, the
money I had now I could use to do whatever the hell I wanted. I had the
apartment I wanted, the cars I liked, and a couple little beach houses and shit.
I had everything I needed, so it couldn't have been all that bad, right?
Chapter 31
"Come on, Alice – please?"
"No fucking way, Cullen. I don't do malls. Haven't you heard of the fucking
internet?"
I was getting nowhere. Rose had only communicated to me in finger gestures,

and Alice would rather cut off a tit than walk into the mall. I couldn't wait on
the internet entirely, though it might be a better long-term solution, I wasn't
letting Bella go anywhere by herself, and Bella needed clothes today. She only
had two outfits, and she had to wash those this morning to have anything to
wear at all.
"Look," Emmett said as he popped open a can of Coke and slurped the fuzzy
stuff off the top. "We've got the action for Aro's place all ready, and we have a

few things to go over on Laurent's. Why do you take her, and we'll see you back
here later?"
I ran out of reasonable arguments and female acquaintances, so…I gave up.
Yeah, I probably should have sucked it up and taken her somewhere, even to
fucking Wal-Mart, but I just couldn't cope with another scene like that. Instead,
I got her on the computer with my credit card and made sure it was next-day
shipping. Tomorrow was Saturday, but since it was before noon it would still
get here in time.
One less thing to worry about.
Back to the killing, which made me a lot more comfortable.
Over the next day and a half, the plans were made, studied and practiced.
Jasper was like a fucking drill sergeant about the whole thing, and would quiz
us over and over again about strategy, positions, who was targeting whom, and
all this other shit that was about to make my head explode. The entire entourage
that made up The Pack was also there – ten huge motherfuckers with shoulders
that made them remind me of Sasquatch. They didn't talk much, and if I had to
guess I would have said they were sharing a brain cell between the ten of them.
Bella took it all in stride.
During the attack on Aro, she'd be armed, but it was mostly just to keep her
safe. She'd stay right behind me until we had the front of the house cleared,
then she'd stay with Jasper while Alice and I lead The Pack to the lower level to
eradicate whoever else doesn't give up and free anyone we found there.
It was nearly three in the morning on Sunday when we finally decided we were
ready. We would hit them Monday afternoon, because really – who the fuck has

the energy to wake up early and plan an attack on Mondays? Element of
surprise and all that shit.
"Where did Alice and Bella go?" I asked. They had been sitting on the couch
together not too long ago.
"I think they went back to the office to order something else," Jasper said.
"Alice said something about clothes for Paris?"
I walked down the hall, trying to keep my eyes open, but I was getting really
tired and hoping a hot shower would help me relax enough to sleep. I wasn't
really sleeping much at all. Mostly I just…watched Bella sleep.
I heard them talking as I got close to the door, which was ajar.
No it wasn't…it was a door. I snickered a bit.
"…never showed him any love when he was a kid," Bella was saying. "I can
understand how he ended up not knowing how to even function properly."
I couldn't help it. I knew they were talking about me, and there was no way I
wasn't going to listen in.
"I always knew he was fucked up," Alice responded. "I kind of figured his home
life had to be shit. I mean – they all are, aren't they? I've never know anyone
who should have been allowed to breed. Not my mom and dad, that's for sure."
"My parents are wonderful," Bella said. "We didn't even have a ton of money,
but we had enough and everyone loved each other."
"Well, it's good to know there's hope out there, I guess."
"Edward said he didn't think about what he was doing," Bella said. "When he
bought me, I mean."

"He never does," I heard Alice say in the most un-Alice voice I had ever heard.
"I think you got more out of him in a couple nights than anyone else ever has.
But still…"
I could hear a chair scrape across the floor and the rustle of clothing.
"That doesn't give him a free pass, Bella. And some shit just isn't forgivable.
Given that, I have one question I want you to answer."
"What's that?"
"Did he fuck you?"
Oh shit.
I heard the tone in her voice, and there was no doubt in my mind what it meant.
My hand reached around to the handle of the Heckler and Koch stuffed behind
my back.
"Um…no, Alice," I heard Bella answer. "He didn't."
"It's a good thing," Alice said with a huff.
About thirty second of silence later, I started hearing the distinctive sounds of a
keyboard clicking about.
"There ya go!" Alice suddenly said. "All set to be delivered to your hotel in
Paris."
"Thanks, Alice."
I decided it was probably time to show myself, so I pushed the door open the
rest of the way.

"You two about done in here? I think Jasper's ready to go."
They both popped up, and Alice shoved her way past me. After a few more
exchanges of words, I closed the door behind the last of them, and once again
Bella and I were left alone.
At least she had clothes to wear now.
"I'm going to take a shower," Bella said, and she headed off down the hallway
and to the guest bathroom. I took my own shower with the hope that the hot
water would relax me enough to sleep. I kind of doubted it, though. I tried to
think about how in forty eight hours, Aro would be dead and Bella and I would
be on the way to Paris to finish off the last of them.
All was going quite smoothly, right?
Chapter 32
"Tell me something else about you."
Bella was lying on her side with her head propped up on her hand and looking
at me. She said had too many thoughts in her head to sleep, and complained that
her hair would go all crazy if she fell asleep when it was still wet.
Then she gave me shit for not having a hair drier.

I wanted to be annoyed by it, which I would have been if I had imagined Kate
in Bella's place. But with Bella…well, I guess at this point I had fucked up her
life so much I wasn't about to be annoyed with her.
"I don't know what else to say," I told her. "I think I told you everything about
me."
"There has to be more," Bella pushed. "What did you do in high school?"
"Dropped out and started running guns."
"How old?"
"Sixteen."
"But now you don't just run guns, do you?"
"No," I said. I didn't like where this was going. "I also have a pretty successful
technology company."
She glared at me for a minute, but didn't push any more. It was good, too,
because I would have had to shut that down. I have never talked about business
with any woman I had ever dated.
Woman I dated?
Where the fuck did that come from?
Because the woman in my bed definitely didn't fit that description.
Still, I wasn't going to talk about my business. The less she knew the better.
"Do you think it's going to work?"
"What?" I asked.

"This whole…plan of yours," she clarified as she waved around the hand that
wasn't holding up her head.
"Yeah," I replied. "If I can get some sleep, anyway."
"You haven't been sleeping?" Bella's eyes narrowed a bit. "Is it because I'm
here? I can go back to the other-"
"No! It's not that!" I sat part way up, and the idea of her going back to her room
was just…wrong. I didn't want her going anywhere. Sleep or no sleep, I wanted
her here…with me.
I had no fucking idea why, but it was really important.
"Stay," I said. A second later I realized how much it sounded like I was
commanding a dog, but I didn't know what else to say…so I didn't say
anything. And then I looked back down at her.
Bella's shoulders were hunched, her head tipped forward and her eyes gazing
blankly down towards the mattress. Her teeth had embedded in her lip, and her
hands…her hands were shaking.
"I'm sorry," she started saying over and over again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Master…I'm sorry…"
"No, Bella…no," I murmured back to her. I put my hand against her cheek and
tried to tilt her head so she would look at me. It took some coaxing, but she
finally did. "We're not like that, Bella. You're not…you're not my slave
anymore. You don't call me that anymore."
"He'll kill her."

"No, he won't. I'm not going to let him hurt you or her. We're going to get her
out of there."
She finally seemed to really focus on me, and at least stopped saying she was
sorry repeatedly. She looked scared, and ashamed, and like she was going to cry
again. I really wasn't sure if I could handle any more crying.
"You want to hear more about me?" I asked, knowing she had wanted more
before. She blinked a few times before nodding her head. Okay, so far, so good.
Now I just had to come up with something she wanted to hear about. The
business stuff – that was still out of the question. She knew too much about that
side already. She did seem to be interested in stuff about me as a kid, though, so
I thought I'd try one of those.
"I could tell you about when I first went to school," I suggested. Again, she
nodded.
"Okay," I said as I ran my hand through my hair…yet again. "I…um…I hadn't

gone before."
I laughed.
"That's why it's the story of when I first went to school," I added. Though she
didn't actually smile at my lame joke, I did see her relax a little. "The kids my
age were mostly in second grade, and it was already October too, so school had
been going for a while. I was put in the kinder-first class, which was mostly kids
who had been to kindergarten already, but for whatever reason weren't quite
ready for first grade or something. I was still older than most of them, though,
but they were at least learning to read. They knew their letters and shit. I'd
never seen any of that before."

"You never had any books?"
"I had a picture book," I said. "The neighbor lady gave it to me when one of her
grandkids left it behind, I think. I don't remember what it was called. It had a
woman in it who wanted pancakes for breakfast, and she has to go through all
this work to get all the ingredients, but then her cat and dog eat the stuff. She
goes next door and they give her pancakes instead."
"What about Sesame Street?"
"What, a cartoon or something?"
"Sort of – muppets. Grover, Big Bird and Oscar. You know – Sesame Street!"
"Yeah, I remember Big Bird from a puzzle at school."
"You never watched it?"
"We had a TV," I said, "but you could never really get a picture on it so well, and
Mom was usually watching it. I remember trying to watch a couple things
through the fuzz, but it just wasn't worth it."
"So when did you learn to read?"
"I struggled for a while," I said. "But I got the hang of it eventually, and caught
up with most subjects by…I don't know…fourth or fifth grade? The teachers
were always trying to get me to talk about shit, and they'd try to get my parents
in for conferences, but they never came. We didn't have a phone, so they
couldn't call. I do remember one of the people from the school office – not sure
if it was the principal or the vice-principal or what, but she came over to our
house, and my mom yelled at her."
"What did she say?"
I shrugged.
"I don't remember exactly. Telling her to mind her own business, basically."
"Edward, can I ask you a question?"

Just the way she asked had me pretty damn nervous.
"Okay, I guess."
"Did your mom or dad ever take you anywhere, or do anything with you? Play
a game or with toys or anything?"
My mind went blank as I tried to think of things my mom did with me.
"My mom would sometimes…give me a bath," I said. "I remember when she
would make grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup."
Something flashed in my head – an image of my mother standing by the rusted

stove as she poured part of a bottle of ketchup into a pan of hot water and
started stirring it around. I remembered she let me dunk the sandwich in the
soup.
"I thought you wanted to hear about my first day of school?" I reminded her.
Bella told me to go on. "Okay, so I was in this kinderfirst class, and when I got
there, all the kids were already at their desk and they already had all their
papers out. I remembered looking at the teacher and thinking she was really,
really fat, and wondering if she was going to explode, because she kind of
looked like it. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, so I guess I kind of
panicked. I ran out the door and hid in the boy's bathroom."
I laughed.
"I don't know how long I was there, but the teacher eventually came in and
talked me into coming back to the class. All the other kids were at lunch by
then, and she figured out I didn't have any lunch, so she gave me some of hers.

She talked to me while all the other kids were at recess and showed me where I
was going to sit and stuff. She was nice, but she was only there for two weeks
before she…um…went on maternity leave."
Bella's eyes narrowed a little.
"I thought she was really fat, remember?"
Bella cracked the slightest of smiles and shook her head at me.
"She was nice to you, though?" Bella said.
"Yeah," I replied.
"Did she come back?"
"Not for a couple of years," I said. "I think she waited until her baby was in
kindergarten or something. I remember seeing her once or twice when I was
older."
I looked down at Bella, and saw a strange look of…understanding?...across her

face.
"But she didn't stay," Bella said softly.
"What?" I asked. She looked up at me again, but I still didn't understand the
look on her face, and I was about to pass out from lack of sleep, which she
apparently noticed.
"Lay down, Edward," Bella said quietly, and I did what she said, though a little
tentatively. She continued to keep herself propped up on her elbow, so I
couldn't really watch her without be really obvious about it, so I closed my eyes,
and was asleep almost immediately. I woke when it was still dark outside to
Bella thrashing on the bed and crying.
I pulled her to me, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her back against
my chest.

"Shh…Bella, it's all right…it's all right…just a dream."
She woke with a start and covered her mouth with her hands. Her head turned
to the right and she looked up at me over her shoulder for a moment before
dropping back to the mattress. She used her heels and hands to push herself
closer to my chest, took a few deep breaths, and was then asleep again.
Nightmares can't last forever, right?

Chapter 33
When I awoke, I was in a cold sweat with a single thought in my head.
She's my responsibility.
The final images of the dream did a few cartwheels in my conscious mind before
fading – Bella, out in the sunshine wearing absolutely nothing, and Aro standing
beside her, offering her a toothbrush.
"Sorry, Edward…you didn't take care of her, so I'm afraid I'll have to take her
back…"
"You have no idea what you are doing," Dream Bella told me. "It's for the best,
Edward…Edward….Edward…"
"Edward?"
I opened my eyes to her voice and the warmth of her hand on my cheek. She
was holding herself up with her other hand and hovering above me, though I
could just barely make out the outline of her head and shoulders in the
darkness.
"You were dreaming," she said in a whisper.
My responsibility. Just mine. Mine.
I was fucking this up so bad, how could I ever make anything right with her?
Even if I killed every one of them that hurt her, I still I hadn't gotten her enough
clothes. Even if I saved her mother, I had no idea what she wanted and needed.
Wasn't there like…shit she needed for the bathroom to be found in the

drugstore aisles where men dare not tread? How was going to figure any of that
out? It was the crux of the problem, wasn't it? I had no fucking idea how to deal
with women – what they wanted and needed, how to talk to them – and that
hadn't changed
It had to change.
I had to figure this shit out, and make her the priority – all the time. I couldn't
just think that she needed clothes, and then forget about it. But how do I figure
out what she needs?
Maybe you could ask, asshole.
Okay, yeah – I guess I could. It was kind of like stopping and asking for
directions, which hit some sort of anti-instinct bone. It made me want to drive
around in circles on purpose, just to make some kind of obscure and indefinable
point. I owe her, though, and I always will. I had never asked her what she
wanted or needed, and that was going to change.
I reached up and grasped her face in my hands, immediately loosening my grip

when she jumped, but not letting go.
"I'm going to take care of you," I told her in a harsh whisper.
I felt her fingers trace over my jaw, and then the backs of her fingers ran over
my temple.
"I'm going to take care of you, too, Edward."
My ears had to be messed up, right?

Chapter 34
"I don't need anything Bella," I told her. "I've got six cars, and the cheapest was
seventy grand. You don't need to take care of me – I need to take care of you."
"That's not the kind of care I'm talking about," Bella said.
"You going to…shoot me?" I asked sleepily as her hand kept touching my face.
Every time her fingers traced over my temple or across my brow, my eyes closed
themselves.
Bella's soft laughter made me smile.
"No, I don't think so." Her fingers traced from my temple to my chin, and my
head leaned into the touch, though I didn't recall telling myself to move. I
remembered a question I wanted to ask her.
"How come you know how to shoot?" I asked.
"I'll tell you later," Bella whispered. "Go back to sleep, Edward."
"Hmm…" I mumbled. I felt myself ease back against the pillow. The slow,
stroking touch from her hand continued, and the darkness in the room invade
my eyes and mind.
We went over everything for the five hundredth time.
Aro and Laurent would go down first, then Alice and Jasper head to Italy and
strike the Volturi, while Bella and I pay a visit to a certain doctor to have her
scanned for her chip. Then we head to Paris, take out the last three targets – the
Volturi's French branch.

Once everyone was eliminated, Emmett would take care of dividing things up
here at home, Alice and Jasper would take care of Italy, and Bella and I would
go into hiding.
"Why are we hiding?" Bella asked.
"Final precaution," I told her. "If we didn't account for someone, I need to make
sure you are safe until things have settled down."
"What about my mom?" she asked. "What will we do with her?"
"She'll be with Emmett," I said. "Once we've taken care of France and Italy,
she'll join us in hiding. I'll keep her safe, too."
"How long?"
"A couple of months," I said
"Then what?" She looked through her lashes at me, and I could see the worry –
the panic starting in them.
"Whatever you want," I said quietly. "I told you, I am going to take care of you –
whatever that means. I'll get you and your mom a house, I'll buy you a fucking
castle – whatever you want, you get. If you just…want to go home, I'll take you
home. As long as I am sure you are safe first."
Bella nodded.
"What will you do?" she asked.
"Come back here and see how badly Emmett cheated me out of my share of the
take-home," I said with a grin. Emmett punched my shoulder, which fucking
hurt, but I only smirked at him.
"Have I ever cheated you?" he said with mock indignity.
"Yes."
"Oh…yeah, I have."

"Ready then?" Jasper asked. "We've got a couple of stops to make, but we'll be
at the check point tomorrow at one-o-clock."
"I'm ready," Alice confirmed. Rose and Emmett echoed her response.
"Papers, Jazz – I need all her papers," I reminded him.
"Here ya go."
I looked through the little manila folder he gave me. Driver's license, passport,
social security card – all in the name of Isabella Cullen. I tried not to let the
name freak me out too much.
"Marriage license?"
"Ah…shit. " Jasper reached up and scratched the top of his head. "I forgot
about it."
"Can they go without?" Alice asked.
"I got her name down as Cullen, and everything else is set to make them look
married. They have to have a license to go with it.
"Can't your contact guy just…get one made up tomorrow?"
"He just left the country himself," Jasper said. "No way would we have it before
Monday night."
"Fuck," I growled.
"No problem," Emmett said. "We don't hit until three-o-clock. You have plenty
of time to just run down to the courthouse and get it done."
"We're not really getting married," I reminded him.
"You are now," Alice said with a laugh.
They had to be joking,

Chapter 35
I could hear all kinds of chatter going on in Bella's room, and I didn't like what
I was hearing at all.
"I didn't have anything white," Rose was saying. "But we at least have to get
some pictures, and I was sure this would fit you…"
"What the fuck are you doing, Rose?" I growled, but Alice shoved me out into
the hallway and slammed the door shut. Next thing I knew, her Beretta was in
my face again.
"No seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding, fucker!"
"Goddamnit, Alice!" I yelled back. "This isn't for real."
"Yeah it is," she snickered.
"But it's not…it's not really!"
"Well, you will have to get it annulled at some point," Jasper said. "But I do
think they have a point about not seeing Bella in her dress. Bad luck and all."
"Are you fucking shitting me?"
"Edward," Jasper took another step forward and put his hand on my shoulder.
Alice took a step back, giving him a little more room as she holstered her gun.
"We're about to take out three decent sized crime families in twenty-four hours.
I'm not willing to chance any kind of bad luck. So you and I are going to get
ready and head to the courthouse, and the girls will bring Bella there when she's
ready."
"You people are crazy," I mumbled, but let him drag me out.

Apparently, a "wedding outfit" had already been chosen for me. Black slacks
and jacket along with a light blue shirt that was supposed to match Bella's dress.
Fucking kill me.
"Last touches," Jasper said as he handed me a tie.
"I'm not wearing a fucking tie."
"Just put it on," he grumbled.
"No," I said. "I put my foot down at a fucking noose. I'll wear the rest, but the
tie is out."
I ignored Jasper's protests as I headed out to the balcony to smoke. Rain was
pouring straight down, and the overhang was just barely keeping it off me as I
leaned against the bricks. As I dragged smoke into my lungs, I thought about
the things Bella had said in the middle of the night and tried to make some sense
out of them.
She said she was going to take care of me, and I had no idea what she meant. I
didn't need anything – I had everything I could possibly want, so why had she
said that? And why had those words been crawling around in my head all day?
I keep thinking about some of her questions as well – the ones about my mom
and what she did for me, and asking about that teacher I had when I first went
to school.
She didn't stay.
I knew…somewhere inside of myself that I wasn't like other people I knew –

not even other criminals in the same kind of business. Others had families and
friends – they hung out with each other and had dinner, even when they weren't

talking about the next deal. I didn't do that – not ever. I never saw any reason to
do it.
I thought about the last time I had sex with Kate – how warm it was inside of
her, and how I felt when she said my name as she came. It felt…good…hearing
my name said like that. Like whatever I was doing was something she wanted,
and that if I could just make her feel like that again, then maybe she would…
She didn't stay.
They never stay.
I heard the sliding door shift, and Jasper joined me.
"You about ready to go?"
"Yeah," I answered. He looked out over the city for a minute. "Hey, Jasper?
Could I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Is there…something wrong with me?"
Jasper laughed.
"Compared to whom?" he snorted. "We're all kind of fucked up, you know."
"But you…you and Alice…you guys are really a thing now, aren't you."
"Yeah, we are."
"And Emmett and Rosalie have been together forever."
"Pretty much."
"So, is there something wrong with me?"
Jasper looked at me sideways and narrowed his eyes a bit.

"Yeah, Edward, there is."
"What is it?"
"The fact that you don't know pretty much sums it," he replied, cryptically.
Puzzles. Fucking awesome.
"Is that supposed to help?"
He just shook his head.
"Jasper, I've know you as long as I've known anyone," I said. "I wouldn't say
we're friends, but we're at least a little better than acquaintances, aren't we?"
"Not by much," he answered. "Aside from strictly business, you've probably said
more to me in the last three minutes than you have in the last three years."
I sighed, figuring he was probably right.
"Am I that fucked up?" I finally asked.
Jasper turned so he was facing me head on.
"Yeah, Edward," he confirmed. "Out of a group of seriously fucked up people,

you take the cake."
"What's wrong with me?"
"You have no idea how to deal with people. To you, everyone you come across is
either a commodity or a liability. You hoard one, destroy the other. This is the
first and only time I think you have tried to do something that wasn't purely for
your own gain, and I'm not completely sure the end result isn't just to alleviate
guilt."
Well, yeah – I felt guilty. I was guilty.

"Of course, the idea that you are actually feeling guilty about anything is a step
up."
I leaned my head back against the bricks and blew smoke up at the sky.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
"No shit."
I glared over at him.
"I don't know what you expect me to say," Jasper commented as he leaned his
shoulder against the wall. "But for what it's worth, you seem to have more
emotion towards the girl you bought than anyone else I have ever seen you
interact with, including every girlfriend of yours that I met. I don't know if
that's a good thing for her, but I would call it improvement on your part."
I flicked the butt of the cigarette off the balcony.
"That's all you got for me, huh?"
"More than you deserve," he said. He pushed off the wall with his fingertips and
went back inside, leaving me to the rain. My shoes were wet, and I remembered
waking up after a rainstorm a day or two after my parents left. My shoes had
gotten soaked, and when I walked to school they made strange, squishing
sounds. They kept doing that all day, and when one of the kids made a comment
about it, I decked him.
I really didn't know what Jasper seemed to think I was lacking, but I was pretty
sure it had something to do with what Bella was talking about. She said she was
going to take care of me, which I had believed was ludicrous. Now, I wasn't so
sure. Maybe…if she could tell me what was wrong with me…maybe I could fix
it.
I could learn, right?

Chapter 36
I was going to get married.
To my slave.
Well, ex-slave, really.
I mean, she wasn't anymore.
My slave, that is.
She was going to be my wife instead.
God, this was fucked up.
I fiddled with the ring in my pocket – recently purchased on Jasper's insistence.

I wouldn't have even thought of it. I just went into the store and asked for the
biggest one, but Jasper nudged me and pointed to a beautiful, delicate one with
rows of small diamonds circling the larger one in the center. It was perfect for
Bella's petite fingers. There was a matching wedding band for me somewhere in
Jasper's clutches.
At the courthouse, we approached the side of a really large room with a roped
off partition where people could stand in line to get married. A chunky bald
man sat flatulently in his chair as he pulled various papers out of his desk
drawers and fiddled with a bunch of ink stamps. As he gathered up the
paperwork, he bitched under his breath about needing a real office.
"You'll need to sign here," the magistrate told me. "And you fiancée will have to
sign as well."

"She'll be here soon." Jasper was as helpful as always. Chunky glared at him.
I filled in all that I could, which was most everything except Bella's name and
signature, and handed all the paperwork back to the magistrate. He went over
it, stamped it a couple of times, and then leaned back in his creaky office chair.
"There are others waiting," he said, indignant. "If she isn't here soon-"
The door opened behind us, and I turned to see first Alice – in her usually
black-on-black ensemble – then Rosalie in a bright red dress with little spaghetti
straps, and…Bella.
Bella in an extremely short, light blue dress with ruffles wrapping around her
body in the most deliciously suggestive way. Her arms were totally bare, with
one shoulder also completely naked, and the skirt was high enough to expose
most of her beautifully shaped thighs. Her hair was tied back in a long ponytail
collected high on her head, and she carried a small bouquet of wildflowers.
I almost wished I had put on the tie, or at least tucked my damn shirt in.
I could only assume by the smirk on Rosalie's face that she had given Bella a
little coaching on the whole wedding thing, especially when Bella practically
skipped up to me, ducked under the ropes, and placed a kiss on my cheek.
"Missed you," she giggled and looked from me to the magistrate. "Sorry I'm a
little late. He's used to it, but…"
She giggled again, flipping her ponytail off of her bare shoulder.
Holy shit.

I didn't even recognize her.
"Identification, please," The magistrate said curtly. Bella pulled out the driver's
license I had just handed to her that morning, before everyone else showed up.
"Isabella Cullen?" Chunky questioned.
"That's me," she said. She actually sounded very believable. "But I go by Bella,
not Isabella."
"Most people wait until after they are married to change their name," he said as
he looked up from his desk at her.
Fuck.
All her identification had her listed as Cullen – Jasper had made sure of it. How
in the hell had I not thought about that before we were actually standing here?
My stomach flipped over and I was afraid I was going to lose breakfast.
While I freaked out inside, Bella's hand slipped into mine as she handled
everything with grace.
"I know!" she exclaimed in this new, sing-song voice I had yet to encounter
before this moment. "Isn't that bizarre? We tried to figure out if we were related
when we first met, but we're not at all – thank God – at least not as far back as
my mom could track it. After he proposed, I figured it was just destiny."
Holy shit, could that woman lie.
I just stood there and tried to keep my mouth from dropping down and having a
little cuddle with my shoelaces.

"Makes the paperwork easier, too," she went on. "I won't have to have my name
changed on everything."
"Humph," the magistrate huffed. "I suppose that's true."
"Destiny," Bella said with a big, goofy grin. She reached over and ran her hand
along my jaw. "Right, Edward?"
"Whatever you say, baby." I was completely awestruck.
The whole "ceremony," if you could call it that, consisted of Chunky saying "do
you want to marry this man" followed by "do you want to marry this woman"
and me trying to get two words out of my face without passing out. I was doing
all right, I thought, once I managed to croak out "I do," until he said the final
five words.
"You may kiss the bride."
I felt the blood drain from my face.
It was one more thing I hadn't considered.
I should have…but…well…I didn't.
Fucking sue me.
My eyes darted over to Bella's, and she was looking up at me with her head
cocked to one side and that same goofy smile on her face, but it wasn't in her
eyes. Maybe it would have been enough to fool Chunky and the other
bystanders, but I could see the hesitation…the worry. Of what, I wasn't sure
exactly. Did she think that I would hurt her here, in the middle of the fucking
courthouse? Or was it just the memories in her head of what she had endured
that I would never be able to understand.
I hadn't kissed her since she went down on me, that very first night. My tongue
darted over my lips, I reached over and touched the edge of her jaw, and then

leaned in. I looked at her eyes once more as they fluttered closed, and I placed
my lips lightly against hers.
It was incredibly brief, because I backed away immediately. But during the brief
moment our lips touched, my stomach churned and my chest clenched. I was
hard to breathe for a second, and though I knew I had to – I did not want to
stop.
I opened my eyes again, and I could see the relief wash over her face the instant
I moved away. It was followed by a far more genuine smile and the slightest
tinge of pink in her cheeks. I smiled back at her and rubbed her knuckles with
my thumb.
Ten minutes later, we walked out into the crisp, clean sunshine that can only
follow a rain shower, hand in hand as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. There were
still plenty of people around, smiling and saying congratulations to the newly
wedded couple they had never seen before. Rosalie snapped pictures, and
Emmett threw fucking rice at us as he guffawed at the whole situation. I slipped
my sunglasses out of my pocket and over my eyes, looked over to my…my wife
I had to be dreaming, right?

Chapter 37
It was two-fifty-five in the afternoon.
Five minutes to execution.
Bella and Rosalie had gone back to my place to dress in much more appropriate
attire. We had two large vans for the Pack, plus the tech van, where Rosalie
would be staying with the monitoring equipment and her handy-dandy
computers. She would be close to Emmett and his group – in Laurent's area of
town.
I made some final preparations before heading right up to Aro's front door to
blow him away. I began sorting through the guns that were laid out on top of
the table built into the side of the van. I determined which one I would be using,
and mentally logged when I would draw them and exactly when I would use
them. Each one had its purpose, each one had its forte. I knew them all. They
calmed me, they focused me, and they told me under no uncertain terms that I
was deadly powerful.
I had a pair of FN 57s – my favorites. The Heckler and Koch was good in close
situations because of the short recoil, which was paired with the Glock-17 for
the same reason. An FN-SCAR assault rifle was strapped to my back, just in
case.
I handed Bella one of the FN-57s.
"Ever fire one of these?"
"I don't think so," Bella said. I had been a little focused for a while, but I was
pretty sure she hadn't said anything for quite a while. "But I have used one of
those."

She pointed to a Beretta of the exact same type Alice liked to use. I would have
preferred her using one of the others, but familiarity was important. I took the
FN back and handed her the Beretta instead. Weird that she knew how to use
that one, though.
"You just stay right behind me, okay," I said to Bella. I quickly checked over my
guns, as well as the variety of other weapons I had strapped under my jacket, in
my boots and down my pants. "I need to know exactly where you are."
Our eyes met, and her lips smashed together as her eyes narrowed. I knew she
was nervous about all of this, though I didn't know which bothered her more –
the killing or just going back to the place where she was tortured.
"Edward, if we don't…"
I placed my hand over her mouth before she could get any farther and shook my
head slowly. I knew where she was going, and you don't say shit like that – not
right before you go in. She nodded, and I pulled my hand back.
Without warning, her arms were around my neck and her cheek was pressed
hard against my chest as she hugged me tightly. My gun-filled hands found her
waist, but I didn't know what she was doing, or how I was supposed to react.
"Thank you," she said against the fabric of my shirt.
"For what?"

"All of this."
I froze, and that strange clenching feeling happened in my chest again. It

seemed to be happening a lot, and I wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Don't thank me for this." I pulled back away from her. "I got you into this –
don't fucking thank me!"
Bella took a step back and her eyes widened at the sharpness of my tone. I
didn't really mean to be snapping at her, but her words just reminded me how
she wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for me, and her mother wouldn't still be in
there, trapped and…and whatever they were doing to her.
As I looked at her, her eyes changed – narrowed and darkened. I could see the
tension in her jaw as her teeth clenched together.
"I know what you did," she spat back at me. "You seriously fucked this up."
I wasn't like the news shocked me, but to have her say it…everything inside of
me tightened, not just my stomach, even as her tone softened somewhat.
"But you are trying to make it right, and I will thank you for that. You can't tell
me not to."
I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I couldn't
argue with her sentiments, because I was pretty sure she was right. Or at least,
that I was wrong.

"I haven't even started making this up to you," I told her. I wanted to reach out
to her. I wanted to touch her, but I didn't understand why. "Not even close.
Once we're all done here, we'll get your chip removed so you can be safe again,
okay?"
Bella nodded, and the corners of her mouth turned up just a little.
"Let's go." I said.
This was going to work, right?
Chapter 38
One of The Pack parked the van on the street, and Bella and I walked up to the
guardhouse together. She walked behind me with her head bowed and her
hands behind her back. Her hands also covered the Beretta hooked into the
back of her shorts, but that was just a bonus. Aro's gates were secured, and the
first thing we would have to do was get past the guard at the front. Fortunately,
he was an idiot.
I ought to know, right?
"All clear." Rosalie's voice came through the earpiece I wore, letting me know
the security system had been disabled. Indeed, I could already see the guard in
his little hut next to the gate as he poked at a couple of monitors. I walked
straight up to the gatehouse and nodded at Felix, the big ugly guard who always
stood at the entrance to Aro's place. He took a step forward, glancing only
briefly Bella behind me. I knew the drill, and he knew I knew it. He'd frisk me,
and then send me in – just like always. Only this time, things were going to go a
little different.

"Hey Felix, I'd like ya to meet my wife," I said. I watched his eyes widen, then
narrow, then roll over Bella's body. It fucking pissed me off, too. If I hadn't
already planned to kill him, I probably would have anyway.
Then I saw Bella's face.
She knew him.
And let's face it, there was really only one way should could know him.
"Hey, aren't you…?"
His body dropped to the ground before he could finish his sentence. I put an
extra bullet in his head for good measure, and because I wanted to. Bella gasped
and put her hand over her mouth. I looked over to her pale face. She looked like
she was about to vomit, and for a moment I wanted to hold on to her and tell
her to be brave, but another part of me knew that wasn't going to work.
"Don't you fucking mourn for him!" I snapped at her. Bella looked up at me
with wide eyes. "Don't you dare feel sorry for any of them! They're all going to
get this, you hear me? Every one of them fucking deserves to have one of my
guns shoved right up their ass before the trigger is pulled. If you can't handle it
then you need to get back in the van."
I could see Bella swallow hard, and for a moment I thought she just might go off
and hide, but she didn't. She stood up a little straighter, took the Beretta out of
the back of her shorts and looked me straight in the eye.
"One down," she said.
"One down," I agreed as I holstered one of the FNs. I stepped into the
guardhouse and released the gate's locking mechanism. As the gates opened,
two vans full of heavily armed muscle-maniacs rolled through, stopping only

briefly to sniff at the fire hydrant and pick us up before driving to the front
door.
As The Pack filed out of both vehicles, their bright orange striping – looking a
lot like taped on suspenders – reflected in the afternoon sun. Alice made them
all wear it, because apparently they had difficulty identifying who the enemy
was on occasion. I kept Bella a ways away from them.
I always preferred a straight on assault. Everyone always expects you to be

sneaking around, but anyone who has played enough video games knows the
straight forward grunt attack is always a sure fire. Overwhelm with numbers
when they are least expecting it. Zergling blitz, people!
With Bella at my heel and Alice to my right, followed by nine of the ten
members of The Pack, we walked right through the front door of Aro's house.
To the left and right were a total of six men, none of whom I recognized. Not
that it mattered – they fell too quickly to bother with their names. As the shots
rang out, I could hear commotion down the hallway on the left, and we quickly
split up – with Alice and half The Pack going one way, Bella, me and the other
half going towards the noise.
It was also the direction to Aro's office.
I heard the muted thunk of a pistol with a silencer, and one of The Pack guys
dropped down in front of me. I reached back and touched Bella's arm – just to
make sure I still knew where she was – and then opened fire down the hallway.
Three on the left, just as the hall turned the corner. The FN-57 took them down.
There were more on the right, but two of Alice's guys ran straight forward,
screaming their heads off and firing AK-47s. Suddenly, there was nothing but
gunfire, and I shoved Bella back behind me – wedging her into a doorway as I

fired over and over again. When the FN was empty, I dropped it and grabbed
the H&K.;
I don't know how long it lasted. I know at one point I felt heat across my
shoulder, and I was pretty sure I was grazed, but not badly. I know one more of
the remaining four of The Pack who had come down this way with us went
down, and that Alice had circled around the backside of the house, and was
going to cut them off from the other direction.
"I can see him," Alice's voice buzzed in my ear. "He's still in his office. They are
definitely on alert, but blind without the monitoring equipment. He doesn't
appear to have a backup system."
"Too confident," I said.
"Take about twenty steps forward, then turn to the right. That's the door you
want."
"On my way."
"FYI – I've eliminated two of the seven."
"I've got two as well. That leaves Aro, Demetri and James."
"Demetri isn't in Aro's office with him – there are two guys behind the door,
though."
"Distraction?"
"You got it."
The explosion rocked the entire upper part of the house, and Bella stifled a
scream with her hand over her mouth. Taking a few steps forward, I could see
the door Alice had directed me to was now completely blown off the hinges.
"One of them is down. Aro's panicking."
"Good. Positions in the room?"

"As you walk in, at the doorway – seven-o-clock, nine-o-clock, Aro at noon,
one-o-clock, two-o-clock, and two of them at four-o-clock."
"Got it."
"Edward," I felt her soft hand on my arm, and I turned just for a moment to see
her eyes.
"Almost over," I told her. "Stay right outside here."
I placed her right next to one of the Pack guys and motioned for Sam to come
with me, leaning over to him briefly to tell him the positions of the people in the
room.
"You make sure you get the two on the right," I told him, and he nodded.
I walked into the broken doorway.
This was going to be spectacular, right?

Chapter 39
Debris was everywhere in the room – wood, glass, and God knows what else.
There was at least one guy down and screaming to my left, and bullets began to
fly in all different directions.
With the assault rifle's strap wrapped around my shoulder, I riddled bullets
throughout the left half of the room, noting two more of Aro's entourage as they
went down. Sam yelled out a battle cry and began hammering at the two
attempting to take cover on the far side of the room.
Aro was behind his desk, partially masked in the smoke from Alice's percussion
grenade and the firefight. As my FN rifle emptied its load, I pulled out the
H&K; and aimed at his head as he started to stand.
Yeah, the problem with all the super hero movies and comics? All the fucking
yak-yak-yak right before they'd finally decide to off someone. I don't play that
shit.
Aro dropped over the desk in a pool of blood with his long black hair spread out
all over his desk calendar. Goal for the day to go down in a shootout – complete.
Sam yelled and dropped to the ground beside me, and I felt the sting of shrapnel
on my left thigh. Alice appeared suddenly – jumping through the window with
two of her guys and screaming bloody murder, in every sense of the phrase. She
took out the guy standing next to Aro's desk.
Within about a minute and a half, it was over.
"No Demetri," Alice growled. "He must be on the other side of the house."
"Or not here," Sam groaned from his place on the ground. He was holding his
side, and blood was starting to seep through his fingers.

"How bad?" Alice asked.
"Had worse," he replied.
"Edward, your leg is bleeding."
"Yeah." I looked down and noticed the top part of my pants was shredded. It
burned, but not too badly, and I could still put weight on it. "It's all right."
A shot rang out from the hallway.
I'd heard that expression about having your blood run cold before, and I always
thought it was just an expression people used. But I would have sworn my
actual blood dropped in temperature and I could feel it freezing my veins. I
raced into the hallway, the tightness in my chest beginning to feel familiar, with
two guns drawn.
Bella was sitting with her back up against the wall of the hallway, facing down
the corridor. Her eyes were wide and glazed, and she wasn't moving at all. Not
even breathing.
In her hands was the Beretta, the end still smoking from its recent discharge.
Her Pack member accomplice was face down on the floor, and I could see the
thick, wavy hair as it cascaded over another body lying several feet away from
them both.
"Bella?"

Her mouth opened as if to speak, but her eyes remained transfixed on the body
before her. She began to breathe, at least, in short sharp pants. I checked the
hallway quickly, found it empty, and dropped to her side as Alice took off down
the hall to further secure the area.
"Bella? Look at me."
Her eyes swiveled to mine, and the gun dropped from her shaking hands.
"Edward." My name escaped as nothing more than a breathy whisper.
"Are you hurt?"
She looked down at herself and seemed to take mental inventory at the same
time.
"I don't think so."
I holstered both guns, shoved the Beretta into my pants, and slipped my arms
under Bella's legs and behind her back. I lifted her up off the floor, and her
hands reached for the back of my neck. I followed Alice's trail down the
corridor with two of The Pack close behind, carrying Sam. We congregated in
the large open foyer, and I placed Bella on one of the chairs. I had to reach up
and pull her hands from my neck so I could stand, but she gripped one of my
hands and wouldn't let go.
"I killed him." Her eyes looked up at me, and I saw tears starting to form. I
shook my head.
"Don't you cry for them," I reminded her. She took a deep breath, wiped at her
eyes and gave me a quick nod. I kept her hand in mine as I turned back to Alice
for her report.

"Emmett reports Laurent is on his knees and bawling, expressing his undying
loyalty to whomever will let him live," Alice said. "All the top members of his
organization have been eliminated. Emmett's still debating on what to do with
him."
"Kill him," I said into my communication piece in my ear. "I don't want any
leftovers."
I heard a gunshot sound out in my ear.
"Done," Emmett said.
A couple of Pack guys started dressing Sam's wounds, while the others tied up
the one and only survivor – a grunt guy who surrendered to Alice outside the
building. Alice went through the rest of the listing. All of the big guys in Aro's
group were accounted for except for two – Aro's idiot nephew, Demetri, and
James.
"According to the layout Rosalie had, they must keep all the slaves on the lower
levels. They could be down there."
Alice tapped on the touch screen of her phone, enlarging the maze-like structure
underneath the mail part of the building.
"It looks like honeybombs down there." One of The Pack bobbed his head up
and down a few times, looking every bit like the Mortimer Snerd he was. One
of his "brothers" whacked him on the back of the head.
"It's honeycombs, not honeybombs, stupid!"
"Nuh-uh," the first one argued. "That's what I had for breakfast."
Alice stepped up and knocked both of their heads together.

"It's catacombs, you fucking idiots! Now shut up and go find someone to
shoot!" She sighed heavily and placed her hand on her hip as she looked over to
me. "Ya see why I make them wear the stripes?"
Yeah, I did.
We were close now – so close. The entire upstairs had been destroyed, with only
one survivor, and that guy was trying to negotiate with Sam. He was marginally
more with it than the others, but his negotiation skills didn't seem to go past his
wrists. Fortunately, I didn't care if he had the guy beat to death. I had two last
people to locate and kill.
Two more couldn't be that hard, right?
Chapter 40
I opened up an oversized door that led to a long stairway heading down.
"Is this the way?" I asked Bella. She nodded quickly, and was still breathing
heavily. I reached out and put my hand on her arm. "Breathe, Bella…just breath
normally – you're going to hyperventilate."
She looked into my eyes and slowly drew air into her lungs, then pushed in back
out again. She nodded again and pointed towards the stairs.
"I'm pretty sure that's the way."
"You sure you want to go down there? You can stay up here with a couple of
the…"

"This is why I'm here, isn't it?" Bella reminded me. "To show you the way?"
"Yeah, but…" The look on her face as she held the smoking gun flashed in front
of my eyes. "If you've had enough…"
"No – I want to go with you. "
I stared at her until I was sure she really meant it, and then held the Beretta out
to her again. She took it from me slowly, like the gun weighed more now than it
used to, but she did take it. I gestured towards the stairway with my chin.
"Let's go."
"Hey Edward!" Alice called to me. "Take this with you."
She tossed me a key ring with three keys on it. One belonged to a Mercedes,
but the other two could fit a lot of types of locks.
"Found them on Aro. May come in handy."
"Thanks."
We walked down slowly, trying not to make any noise as we crept down, me
going first and Bella at my heel, Alice and a couple others behind her. As we got
to the bottom of the stairs, there was a stereotypical surveillance guy with a row
of fuzzy monitors across his desk, ear-buds shoved into his ears, leaning back in
his chair with his eyes closed. I pulled out the Glock with the silencer, walked
up behind him and shot him in the temple. He probably never even woke up.
I looked at Bella, and she pointed towards the hallway straight in front of us. I
kept her behind me as she pointed out directions as best she could remember
them. We had to back up once when we missed a turn, but soon we came to a
pair of double doors. One of Aro's keys fit neatly in the lock.

The smell hit me first – stale sweat, vomit, shit, and semen. It was
overwhelming, and it was bad enough to make me have to fight off retching.
If I thought about Bella living here…
I couldn't think about it. Not right now.
I wondered which of us would have the worst nightmares tonight.
"'Bout fucking time," I voice I vaguely recognized called out from the other side
of the room. Demetri. He didn't turn to look at us, but continued to go over a
bunch of papers on the table in front of him. "You were supposed to be down
here twenty minutes ago to help sort through the bitches. Uncle Aro ain't gonna
like what I have to say…"
The Glock took him out, too.
His body slumped over the table, scattering the papers – papers that were
grotesquely familiar with their lists of requirements and check-marked boxes of
preferences – all over the floor. I glanced down the row of a dozen or so metal
boxes – maybe five and a half feet tall, three feet wide and six feet deep. Each
one had an electronic lock on the front of it, and a small barred window in the
door.
"Need those locks released now," I said into my communicator.
"On it," Rose replied.
"Step on it," Alice snapped into her mouthpiece.
"Piss off," Rosalie replied with a laugh. "I have the hard part here, you know.
Something that requires more than just the ability to rhythmically move your
finger over a trigger."

Alice didn't seem to find the sentiment amusing, but then, she could hear what I
could hear. Rosalie wouldn't have been able to pick up on the soft whimpering
coming from those metal boxes. Bella was holding herself tight up against my
side and staring at the floor with her eyes transfixed on nothing at all. I rubbed
the heel of my hand against my chest, wondering if I was developing acid-reflux
or something.
"You got it, Rose?" I asked after a couple more minutes, my patience waning.
"Almost," I heard her choppy breathing and the clacking of the keys. "There!"
I heard the sound of the locks as they released from right to left. I went up and
opened the first one, but it was empty. The second held a young woman of
maybe twenty, huddled against the wall in the back.
Even though she was blonde, older, and definitely taller, all I could see was
Bella. Bella huddled against the cement she said would never get warm. Bella
dragged out of this hole to a fate much worse. Bella throwing herself in front of
a mad woman with a gun rather than return to this place.
Bella on her knees next to my chair, just…waiting.
The girl inside didn't look at me, and I couldn't convince Bella to walk into the
tiny little cage to get her. Alice pushed past us both, and I have no idea what she
said, but she managed to get the girl up on her feet, bawling her eyes out, to
leave the little room. Alice yelled some orders at a couple of the younger Pack
members, and they started systematically moving the occupants of each cell
outside to one of the waiting vans. A couple of them fought with us, not
understanding what was happening around them the same way a stray dog

might snap at you. It didn't take long, though, before we had removed eight
young women from the twelve cells in the basement.
None of them were old enough to be Bella's mother.
"Where will they go?" Bella asked quietly as a couple more slaves were all led
up the stairs. I reached over and took her hand.
"Rose has it all planned out," I told her. "She's got a doctor and some friend of
hers who works on a rape crisis line waiting in a hotel not far from here. She's
taking them all there."
"My mom's not here."
"I know."
Truly, everyone one here was much closer to girl than woman in age. I didn't
think there were any over twenty-one, and Bella's mom would have to be in her
late thirties or early forties, at least
"We'll find her," I promised, but Bella didn't even look at me. I couldn't blame
her. I didn't really believe it myself. "Where else could she be?"
"There's another level," Bella informed me. Her voice was tight and she sounded
so tired. "It's…um…where they did a lot of the training."
"Can you show me?"
I left Alice and the rest of her group to sort out the remaining slaves while I
followed Bella's instructions through the maze of halls and small rooms towards
a locked door at the end of a long corridor. The other key on Aro's key ring fit
neatly, and I opened it to reveal a steep, nasty looking staircase with only a
single, bare bulb in the ceiling at the bottom.

"Stay up here," I told Bella. "Alice probably needs some-"
"No."
"Bella, I don't think-"
"I'm going with you." Her voice was just a little louder than a whisper, but it
didn't leave any room for argument.
I took a deep breath, readied my gun, and took the first step down.
So far, so good, right?
Chapter 41
We headed down the dark staircase, my gun held up close to my shoulder as I

walked along the edge of the wall, careful to look around the corner before
stepping out. The bottom of the stairs opened into a large corridor leading in
two directions.
"Which way?" I turned to ask Bella. She nodded towards the left, and I followed
her directions with her close at my back.
There was a large, round, steel tub on one side of the room, filled with water. At
the edge of it was a man with a blond ponytail, and in his hands was a woman –
naked and bent over the tub with her face held under the water by his beefy
hand. He was laughing and shaking her by her hair as he sodomized her, pulling
her head up only briefly so she could catch a breath before he shoved her back
under.

I recognized him as the man in the grainy photographs from the surveillance
cameras. It was him – James – the trainer. This was the man who gave Bella
nightmares, here in the same room with me. The sudden, intense fury that
rushed through my body was unlike anything I had ever experienced.
I felt Bella stiffen behind me, and a small high pitch noise escaped her mouth.
I never had strong emotions – nothing that could ever be considered passionate.
Not desire, not hate, and certainly not love. I never cared one way or another
about things enough to feel anything so strongly that it had much of an effect on
me. Even business stuff was just that – business stuff. It either worked as I
wanted it to or it didn't, and it didn't impact me significantly either way. But
when I saw him holding that woman – much like the one in the first of the metal
cages we opened – I only saw Bella in his grasp. I had never wanted someone
else's blood on my hands like I wanted his. I didn't even want to use the gun.
He hadn't stopped what he was doing. He didn't even realize we were there.
I flipped my gun in my hand, gripping the barrel end of it in my fist as I

marched over to him and slammed the weapon into the side of his head. He
yelled out as he fell to one side, getting wrapped up in his jeans around his
ankles.
The woman he had been abusing fell off the side of the tub into a wet heap on
the floor, coughing up water as she tried to crawl away from us. My focus was
too much on him, though, and I ignored her as she scampered to the far side of
the room.

I bent down over him, the butt of my gun smashing into his face several times
before he managed to block it with his arms. He kicked out at my ineffectively,
since he was still wrapped up in his clothing. I slammed the toe of my steel toed
shoe into his balls, and he rolled over to his side and moaned.
I kicked his ribs, silently thrilled when I heard the sharp crack of bone
splintering. I used my fist in his face, resolved to have this man's blood on my
hands in actuality, not just figuratively. Finally, I hauled him to his feet and
tossed him head over heels into the steel tub of water.
He came up sputtering, his eyes wide and staring straight at me.
"Who the fuck…?" he babbled as he coughed up water and blood.
"Death," I replied. I brought my gun back up, leveled with his head.
"No! Edward, STOP!" I heard Bella scream, and my eyes flashed to hers for
only a moment. I could not imagine she was actually asking me not to end this
fucker right here and now, and I wasn't so sure I was going to bother listening
to her. My finger flinched over the trigger as I aimed the gun right at his face.
Bella yelled at me to stop again, and as she raced up to the side of the metal tub,
the fire in her eyes was nothing less than glorious – like an avenging angel
traveling down from the heavens to wreak havoc in the unrighteous. In her
hand was a taser.
His eyes met hers, and the recognition was immediate and apparent. His mouth
opened to say something, but he closed it again. His gazed swept over the
weapon in her hand, and he understood. He knew exactly what she was about
to do.

Chapter 42
I jumped back, pulling Bella with me as James began thrashing and jerking
around in the water.
"Holy shit," I mumbled as all of his muscles went taut.
Alice took the shivering girl up the stairs as Bella started rummaging through all
the papers scattered on the floor. I contacted Rose, and told her we were ready
for the cleaners to head over our way and clean up our mess, asking her to warn
them about the potential electrical hazard to avoid in the basement. Once I was
done talking to Rosalie, I turned back to Bella. She was still flipping through
the papers and mumbling to herself.
"There's nothing here," Bella said. At first her voice was quiet, but quickly rose
in both volume and intensity. "There's nothing here! Not her name, or anyone
who fits her description - nothing!"
Not that it was any great shock, but I had no idea what to say. Bella was
becoming more hysterical by the second, and I had no idea what to do about it.
So, I said the first thing that came to my mind, which is probably never the
correct course of action.
"Maybe that's a good thing."
As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back.

"A good thing?" Bella said, and then she screamed at me. "A good thing? How
in the fuck could this possibly be a good thing, you self-centered son of a bitch!"
Without much more warning, she rushed forward and slammed her palms into
my chest, shoving me backwards.
"She might be dead! I might never see her again and it's all because you wanted
someone to fuck on command, you sick bastard! It's your fucking fault! I hate
you! I hate you!"
She kept pounding my chest with every word, and I let her. The impact of her
fists had little effect on my body, but e very word she hurtled towards me was
like a bullet straight into my heart.
"I'm sorry," I tried to say, which was just another asinine phrase from my useless
mouth.
"Sorry? You're sorry? What difference do you think that makes to me now,
huh? Why don't you say it a few more times and see if that makes my mom
magically appear."
Bella continued to pummel me for a while, and then suddenly stopped and
looked up at me. As I watched the pain, frustration, anger, and God knows what
else pass over her face, all I could do was stare at her. I didn't have any magic
words for her, or even any unimaginative, useless words, either. All I could do
was watch as tears suddenly welled up and spilled from her eyes, and Bella's
arms reached up around my neck, and she held herself to me as she cried for her
mother.
I guess I should have expected this, right?

Chapter 44
I nodded over to Bella.
“Do you recognize her?” I asked him, and I could see his bloodied face go pale.
He knew there was no good way to answer. If he said no, he’d die and he knew
it. If he said yes, he might end up in worse shape. I could hear Bella’s breathing
behind me – labored and near hyperventilating. I didn’t look over to her – I had
to focus on what was in front of me and just how I was going to get out of him
the information I needed if he decided to be less than cooperative.
He chose the less painful path.
“Yeah,” he finally said. He squirmed back and forth in his chair, trying to get
some feeling back into his tightly bound hands.
“How?”
“She one of the girls,” he said. He looked quickly to Alice, then back to me
again. His tone was actually pretty controlled considering he was facing death.
“And how, exactly, do you know that?” My voice was calm and cold. If he’d
done anything to her, I might very well rip his cock off with my hands.
“She um…she was picked up by my team.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” Alice growled from the side. I waved a hand at
her. I needed to do this one my way, and I was having just a little bit of difficulty
with that, knowing Bella was behind me and watching.
“Explain your team to me,” I said. My hand slowly came around from my side,
and rested easily on my leg, pointing right at his dick. His eyes nervously
danced between the gun, Bella, the couple of Pack members still in the room,
and me. His eyes were wide, and he nodded in acquiescence.

“We go all over the country,” he said. “There’s a couple other groups that go
outside the US. We pick them up from different areas so it doesn’t get traced to
one place. We pick them up and ship them back here for training before they’re
sold.”
“And you picked her up?”
“Yeah…kinda by accident.”
“What the fuck do you mean by that?”
“Well…um…she fit one of the orders, but we weren’t casing her out
beforehand. We were gonna pick up another one, but we saw her and grabbed
her instead.”
“Where’s my mom?” I could hear it in here tone – Bella was just barely
controlling her voice. She took a step forward until she was just behind me to
my left. I didn’t want her that close to this guy – partially because I just didn’t
want her that close to him, but also because I didn’t want her to see what I was
going to do to him.
“Huh?” The idiot looked from me to her again.
“Where is she? You didn’t just pick up me, you picked up my mom, too. Where
the fuck is she?”
I moved my arm out to the side and kept her from going any closer to him. She
pushed against my arm, but didn’t really try to get past me. Our captive licked
his lips a couple of times before her spoke again.
“We dumped her.”

Bella started screaming.
“Alice, get her out of here,” I ordered.
“She has every right…”
“Alice! Get her out of here!” I repeated. “She doesn’t need to…”
I looked straight into the guy’s eyes.
“…see this.”
“Fine!” Alice glared at me, but put her arm on Bella’s to take her away. Bella
was still screaming at her, but Alice managed to get a grip on her and haul her
out of the room and out the front door. I put my foot on top the chair’s seat,
right between our hostage’s legs. I knew the only thing Bella wanted to know
was whether or not her mother was here somewhere…or sold…or dead. She
needed closure in one form or another. But there was a question that was
pressing more in my mind.
“You said she fit one of the orders,” I reminded him. “What order?”
His eyes went really wide as he stared up at me and licked at his lips.
“Aren’t you Edward Cullen?” he said. He sounded confused.
“Yeah…”
“I don’t get it,” he said with a shake of his head. “Why do you need to ask?”
“Just fucking say it,” I heard myself growl. I didn’t want to know, but I still had
to know.
“She was to fill your order.”

I closed my eyes and tried to swallow, but it felt like my throat had swollen up,
and I just couldn’t. Completely and totally confirmed – Bella was just in the
wrong place at the wrong time, looking like my type. They were supposed to
grab some other girl that night. There was no way in hell I could try to pretend
this burger didn’t come from a cow slaughtered for my sole benefit.
After a minute, I managed to take a breath, swallow, and speak again.
“Now you are going to tell me exactly what you mean by dumped her.”
“She was…she was way too old for training,” he told me. His voice was
nowhere near controlled any more. He sounded almost as hysterical as Bella.
“No reason to keep her, and we already had three others in the truck. We
needed to get back, so we…dumped her out the door.”
“Where?”
“On our way up the ramp to the interstate. Umm…I-5?”
“Was she alive?”
“At the time, yeah.” The sweat on his forehead was starting to drip into his
swollen eye. “I don’t know about after. I mean…she could have been, I would
think.”
“How fast were you going?”
“I dunno – I wasn’t driving. Maybe fifty?”
I slammed my foot straight into his crotch, wondering if Bella could hear his
screams from the van. I reached for the fingers on the guy’s right hand, and he
flinched and groaned as soon as I touched them. Realizing Alice had already
worked over his right hand, I went for the left instead, snapping his smallest
finger as he cried out in pain.

“So what you are telling me,” I snarled, “is that you never had her at all? You
dumped her right after you picked them up?”
“Um…yeah…pretty much.”
“And all the time Aro was telling her he had her mother, he was lying just to
keep her in line?”
“Yeah...James says it helps train ‘em faster, you know?”
I slammed my forehead straight into his face, causing him to spit blood and
teeth.
“James is in the basement, fried to a crisp,” I told him. “You might get off that
lucky if you can tell me who has access to the tracking systems for the slaves.”
“I don’t know,” he said. I raised my fist, slammed it into his eye socket, and then
raised it again. “I swear to God, I don’t do anything except find them. I swear! I
don’t know about the other shit!”
I snapped another finger, because honestly I just wanted this asshole to suffer. I
couldn’t pretend he was solely to blame, because now I knew exactly why she
was picked, but I could still take it out on him.
By the time I was ready to walk out, he was begging to die.
I obliged.
Bella was in the van, yelling at Alice. I pulled the door open wider and she
immediately took another swing at me. I caught her arm and pulled it down to
her side, because she was going to end up hurting herself in the close quarters of
the vehicle, and told Alice to help out with the clean up crew, who were just
arriving.

Once Alice climbed out the back, I grabbed both of Bella’s hands and tried to
get her to llook at me through her anger.
“Bella…Bella, will you listen to me, please?”
“You had no right, no right to have her drag me out of there! Did you think I
couldn’t fucking handle it? Is that what you thought? Because I will tell you
something-”
“Bella – they never had her!” I finally yelled. She stopped her tirade and stared
at me.
“Never…had her?”
“No…they dumped her out of the car right after they took you.”
“But they…they said…if I didn’t…”
“They were lying to you, Bella.” I moved back a little and let go of her hands.
She was struggling against me anymore. “They just said that so you would do
what they wanted.”
“She’s okay?” I watched another tear drop off her lashes.
“I don’t know, Bella,” I told her honestly. “But she might be. We have to get you
to the hospital now, though, and get your chip out. While the doc is taking care
of you, I’ll see what I can find out, okay?”
It was the least I could do, right?

Chapter 45
I sat outside the examination room on a laptop I swiped from Rosalie and
looked for information. Bella had just gone into whatever full-bodied scanner
the physician on my payroll could get her into, promising that if it was there, he
could find it. Yeah, we’ll see. I just had image of playing Theme Hospital in my
head. I always thought about that video game when I was around hospitals or
doctors. They freaked me out. I mean, what kind of person wants to be around
people who are sick and are going to die on them all the time? Why would
anyone want to do that?
Bella didn’t appear to be speaking to me, though I wasn’t sure for what exact
reason. It could be because I didn’t let her stick around while I smacked some
information out of that asshole, or maybe because I didn’t let her do it herself.
She might have been pissed about her mom, or maybe she was just
fundamentally fed up with the numerous ways I had fucked up her life.
Whatever it was, I had the feeling the nine hour flight to Paris was going to be a
little tense. I hoped she would sleep for some of it.
While I waited, I dug through the on-line articles, looking for anything that
sounded like Bella and her mom. It took a while, but I did find an article from
about a month ago in a Seattle newspaper. Seattle? Has she really been
kidnapped three thousand miles away from the coffee shop where I filled out the
details of what I wanted?
Mother abducted –thrown out of moving vehicle; daughter remains missing
Early Saturday morning, construction workers discovered an injured woman

lying on the side of an entrance ramp to the I-5 just north of Lynnwood. The
woman, later identified as Renee Swan, was immediately rushed to the hospital

where she informed authorities that she and her daughter had been abducted as
they left the movie theater Friday night. Renee Swan was treated for multiple
fractures on her right side, including her arm and leg, as well as several broken
ribs and lacerations. Authorities believe she sustained these injuries when
thrown from a moving vehicle. She is reported to be in stable condition at this
time. Her daughter remains missing.
Underneath the short article was what appeared to be one of Bella’s school
pictures, as well as a picture of her and her mother together. Standing behind
them was a tall man with a moustache, who I assumed was her father, wearing a
dark blue suit.
No…not a suit. A uniform.
Fuck my life.
There’s no way her father could be a cop, right?
Chapter 46
I walked up to the end of the room and looked through the glass doors. Doctor
Cope was staring at a bunch of monitors in a partitioned section of the room. I
could see the huge-ass scanner machine, and Bella’s legs sticking out of it, as it
tried to figure out just what was inside her.
I was having a little difficulty with what was inside of me as well. On the one
hand, I couldn’t wait to tell Bella he mother was fine and at home. Well, maybe
not fine in the strictest sense, but would recover from her injuries. On the other
hand, I now knew her father was a cop, and this complicated things far more

than was really comfortable for me. As if this whole fucked up situation needed
some additional complexities. Kind of the same way Rubik’s Cube wasn’t hard
enough by itself, they had to make all those other puzzles as well, just to make
sure you felt like even more of an idiot.
When I was sixteen and I started making the first real money I had ever had in
my life, I bought every fucking one of those puzzle games. I couldn’t do any of
them, but I figured out pretty quickly how easy it was to pop the things apart
and put them all back together again in the right order. Maybe I didn’t do things
the traditional way, but I still got them done. Eventually not being able to do
them the right way pissed me off, and I chucked them out the window of my
car.
I bought a bunch of other shit, too – stuff I had never had before. I put stand up
video games and a pool table in the townhouse I bought, as well as a huge water
bed. I always thought those were so cool. The novelty wore off pretty quick,
though, and I switched to one of those squishy adjustable mattresses instead.
I bought a boat, too, even though I didn’t know how to drive one. Wrecked it
into a dock and just ditched it there. I pretty much bought everything I saw that
held any interest for me at all – including every set of Star Wars Legos to be
found in the tri-state area. My living room became the Death Star trench run
over that weekend. Once it was all built I was tired with it, and threw it all out.
It was quite a difference for a kid who had acquired most of his toys as cast-off
trash before.

Going from having nothing to having whatever you wanted pretty much over
night definitely had its impact. I hadn’t really thought about stuff and things
when I was younger – and then all of the sudden I could have everything, and I
kind of felt I was entitled to it. After all, I had grown up without anything, so I
definitely had it coming to me now that I could afford it.
As I watched Doctor Cope help Bella out of the scanning machine, I realized I
had done the same with her. I didn’t have what I wanted, so I bought what I
thought I wanted instead. But what I originally thought I wanted…well, I
didn’t. Not anymore. Maybe I never did.
As I looked at Bella, though – I knew I still wanted her.
Fucking sue me.
Doctor Cope gestured for me to enter, so I went through he sliding doors and
sat down in the chair next to Bella as the doctor went over her findings.
“Isabella’s in good health, and doesn’t seem to have any permanent injuries,”
Doctor Cope said.
“Bella,” I corrected her. Bella glanced over to me as the doctor apologized and
started going through a million freaking vitals and such, until I told her to shut
up and give me what I actually wanted. Doctor Cope looked up to me and
batted her eyelashes a bit, then laid straight into the pertinent information.
“Edward – are you still a ‘bad news first’ kind of guy?”
“Don’t fuck around,” I growled. “Just spit the shit out.”
“I found the chip, but I can’t remove it.”
Well, I guess that was pretty straight forward, right?

Chapter 47
“Why the fuck not?” I stood up and glared down on her, as if my intimidating
presence was some how going to change any of the facts.
“It was inserted into the back of her head, and its lodged right next to her
brain,” Doctor Cope informed us both. “Removal would almost certainly render
her blind, and could cause paralysis or death. There is no way I can safely
remove it.”
“Does it even matter now?” Bella looked over to me. “I mean…who is going to
be looking for me now?”
“We still have the Italians and the French to deal with,” I reminded her.
“Outside of them, I don’t know, which is why we’re going to be in hiding while
Emmett flushes out any extras. This does make things more complicated
though.”
Deciding the doctor wasn’t going to be any more help, I led Bella back out of
the hospital through the back doors and into the car. Once she was buckled in, I
handed her the laptop with the article about her mom and stayed quiet while she
read it.
“Is this all you found?” she asked.
“So far,” I replied. “I’ll still look some more. Now that we have that much
information, Rosalie and Jasper should be able to find out the rest.”
“She’s been at home all this time?”
“It looks that way, yes.” I nodded as I started up the car and pulled out of the
parking lot. “I mean, she might have spent a few days in the hospital, but it says
she was recovering.”

“Give me your phone,” Bella suddenly demanded.
“Bella, you can’t-”
“Give me the fucking phone!” she turned and screamed at me.
“I can’t Bella,” I told her. “You can’t call them – not yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s dangerous, and you aren’t safe yet. If you call them, you are going
to put both yourself and them in danger. When it’s safe, you can call them – I
swear. When this is all over I’ll take you home.”
I really didn’t want to elaborate on how someone might very well be watching
her parents if word gets out who started this little feud. If one of Aro’s people
who hasn’t been eliminate or who slips through the cracks links everything back
to me, they will definitely link it back to the girl I bought a week ago.
She argued a while longer, but I wasn’t going to budge on this one, and
eventually she gave up and we rode in silence until I called Rosalie on the way
to the airport. I asked her what else could be done about this chip.
“Let me look into it,” she said. “We’ve got all these other girls with the same
issue. I may be able to track the signals on their chips and find a way of shutting
them down or disabling the signal. It’s going to take a while, though.”
“How long?”
“I could get lucky,” she told me. “It might only take a couple of weeks.”
“Shit.”

“Don’t stay in one place,” she recommended.
“All right – we’ll be in touch.”
Rosalie had apparently packed a suitcase for Bella, though there didn’t appear
to be anything for me. Nice. I guess I deserved that, but it meant I was going to
have to stop and at least get a change of clothes. We ended up in the duty-free
shop, where I bought a nice sized carry-on and everything I needed to get by for
the next forty-eight hours.
Bella had never flown first class before, and it was only us and one other
business type in the whole front, so we almost had it to ourselves. She settled
back in the window seat and refused the glass of wine offered to her. I went
with whiskey, though they didn’t have anything great. I drank it up quick,
hoping it would stop my heart from pounding as hard as it had been since this
morning…when I got married.
I got married to a woman who hates me.
At least she was kind of speaking to me again.
The plane took off, and I glanced over to see tears falling down her face again. I
looked back down to my lap, trying to figure out what the fuck I should do. Was
I supposed to hug her or something? Would she even want that from the fucker
responsible for everything she had been through? That seemed kind of unlikely.
I wanted to do something, but I knew opening my mouth was only going to
make it worse, and didn’t know what my other options might be. I finally came
up with something that I didn’t think would make anything worse.
“Can I get you anything?”

Bella shook her head and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. She
looked over to me, and started crying harder. The business guy looked over the
back of his chair to see what was going on, but I glared over at him and he
decided to mid his own Ps and Qs instead. I looked back to Bella, who had her
face in her hands.
“Bella…please,” I said. “Is there anything I can do?”
Again she shook her head as she wrapped her arms around herself and bent at
the waist until her forehead was resting on her knees. I couldn’t take it anymore,
so I lifted up the arm of the chair between us and reached out for her.
She came into my arms without protest, and though her crying was still tearing
into me, I instantly felt more at ease now that I was touching her and holding
her close to me. Her head went against my chest as her hand fisted the front of
my shirt. I turned sideways a little so business traveler dude couldn’t stare right
at her again, and wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could.
I was tempted to tell her how sorry I was, but I remembered how well that
worked before and decided to hold off on any more apologies for a while. We
were both exhausted at this point, and ended up falling sleep tangled up in each
other. I woke at some point and looked out the window at the stars in the sky,
wondering what time it was but not willing to risk waking Bella to check my
watch. I lay my cheek on top of her head any inhaled her scent while I held her.
My wife.

My thumb reached across my hand and rubbed at the gold ring around my
finger. As it twisted around, I wondered how long we would be married before
we got back to the states and had it annulled. A couple of months, maybe?
Maybe once the rest of the killing was done, I could at least take her on a
honeymoon trip. We were going to have to keep moving around as long as her
chip was active, so I might as well take her around Europe a bit. Maybe it
would take her mind off all the other shit, and maybe her memories of being
with me wouldn’t all suck.
It could be fun, right?

Chapter 48
I didn’t sleep much on the plane – I never could get comfortable sleeping in a
seat like that. Bella’s sleep was restless at best, but she seemed to get a couple of
hours rest. I kept holding on to her, afraid to let go, though I wasn’t sure exactly
why. Maybe I thought this would be the last time she would let me hold on to
her like this, because she really didn’t have to put up with my shit much longer,
or maybe it was because I thought she would cry again if I stopped, and I didn’t
want to see her crying any more.
At least this seemed to work, as opposed to any moronic words that came out of
my mouth. Maybe I should give up on speaking all together. I wondered if that
was the reason men in family sit-coms would grunt in response to anything
anyone said, instead of actually talk. I could work with that.
Bella woke when the plane started to descend, and sat up, effectively removing
herself from my embrace. She rubbed at her red eyes and shoved wild strands of
hair behind her ears as she tried to smooth it all down. She glanced at me, and
her cheeks turned pink as she looked quickly away, and I wondered what in the
world would have made her blush.
We landed, made our way off the plane and to our hotel. I wanted to get settled
in before I went for the killings. I checked in with Alice, and she informed me
my guns were on the way. Five minutes later, there was a knock at the door. I
hadn’t ordered any room service, but I let the guy with the tray walk in anyway.
After closing the door, he lifted the silver tray and exposed the half-dozen hand
guns he had underneath.

“Sweet,” I said with a crooked smile. I tipped the guy really well, lit a cigarette,
and started going over each of the guns while Bella sat on the couch in the suite
and watched me. She hadn’t said much of anything, though she didn’t appear to
be giving me the silent treatment any longer. I ordered some actual room service
so she would have something to eat, but she only picked at it.
“Not much longer,” I told her as I slipped the last of the guns into my shoulder
holster.
“Until what?”
“Until the last of the fuckers who might have access to the information on your
chip are dead.” I pulled out another cigarette and lit it.
“Why do you do that?” she asked.
“Do what?”
“Smoke?”
“I dunno,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “It’s relaxing, I guess.”
“You don’t seem relaxed.”
“I’m not.”
“Then it doesn’t work?”
“No, it does,” I countered. “I’d be less relaxed if I didn’t have it.”
She was quiet for a while as she continued to poke at a baked potato.

“It’s bad for you,” she piped up.
“I’ve heard that.” I gave her a half smile with the cigarette sticking out of the
corner of my mouth.
“So you should quit,” she surmised.
“I doubt that.”
“Why not?”
“Why would I?” I was starting to get a little annoyed with the line of
questioning. No one had ever asked me about it before – not even when I
picked up the habit at the age of thirteen. Of course I knew it was bad for you,
but who really gives a shit?
“You could…get cancer.” She was still staring down at her plate, pulling bits of
potato out of its skin and pushing it around.
“One less asshole in the world then, right?” I smirked, but dropped the grin
when she looked up at me sharply.
“You aren’t an asshole,” she replied.
“Seriously? The guy who bought you isn’t an asshole? That’s rich.”
She went quiet, and again I wondered if grunting was a better option. She
tossed her fork down and walked into the bedroom area of the suite. I thought
about going after her, because she was obviously upset and I figured it must be
because of something I said or did or whatever. I didn’t though, because chances
are I would just make it worse. I called Alice instead.
“You done?”

“Almost,” she said. I could hear screaming in the background, which then
abruptly stopped.
“Done now.”
“Fabulous,” I mumbled. “Did they get word off to the group here?”
“I don’t think they did, but they knew about Aro here already. I don’t think they
knew about Laurent, but most likely the group there is already on alert. You
want us to head that direction before you move?”
“No,” I answered definitively. “The longer we wait, the more aware they will be.
Best to go now, before they can really organize or enlist help.”
“So, you going to head for the bar?”
“Yeah.” I stubbed my cigarette into the ashtray. “Emmett says they’ll be there in
about a half hour. I plan on giving them a little time to settle, but not much. Hit
should be quick.”
“What are you going to do with Bella?”
“Take her with me.” I shrugged to myself. Shrugging and grunting – I should
make both part of my standard communication –package. “She’ll have a vest
and I’ll le her hang at the bar, take care of them, then walk right back out.”
“Did you get my gifts?”
“Yep,” I said as I placed my hand on top of the gun at my hip. “All set and
ready.”
“Call when you’re done.”
“Will do.”
I hung up and looked over to the open doorway where Bella had recently
disappeared. I took a long breath and headed through it. Bella was sitting on the
edge of the bed, looking down at her hands.
“We need to go,” I told her.

“Killing time again, is it?” she snarked at me.
“Something like that,” I said with a nod. “This one will be quick and easy,
though.”
“Right.”
I didn’t miss the sarcasm, but did ignore it. Bella stood up and followed me out.
After this it would be smooth sailing, right?
Chapter 49:
Bella was looking all over the place and making it obvious she was a tourist.
Every time someone was speaking something other than English, which was
most everyone, she would jerk her head around and look at them, as if eye
contacts might make her understand. She admitted to taking a year of French in
high school, but that it wasn’t making any difference. I knew just enough
French to understand the gist of what people were saying, but I couldn’t speak
it to save my life. Get slapped, yes – save my life, no.
We entered a little drinking establishment within view of the Eiffel Tower, and I
had to practically drag Bella inside to stop her from staring at the gigantic
structure. I led her other to a table off in the corner and sat down with her and
asked her what she would like to drink. She just gave me a funny look and
shrugged, so I ordered two glasses of white wine.
“You’re of age here,” I said with a smile. She narrowed her eyes and sniffed at
the glass before taking a sip. Her face scrunched up in the more adorable way at
the taste. I had to laugh a little.

I drank a big gulp of wine, which was actually pretty good. Well hell, I am in
France. The wine ought to be good, right?
“What now?” Bella asked quietly. She had spread her fingers around the stem of
her glass, and was tilting her left hand back and forth. The diamond on her
finger sparkled in the low level lights.
“Do you like it?” I asked.
“Like what?” Bella glanced up at me.
“The ring.”
“Oh.” She looked down again and began turning her hand around. “It’s very
pretty. Did you pick it out?”
I was tempted to say I had, just because she seemed to like it, but I didn’t.
“Jasper did,” I admitted.
She quietly contemplated the rock on her hand for a minute before speaking
again.
“So?”
“So what?” I asked.
“What now?”
I had forgotten that question.
“You stay right here at this table,” I told her. “I take care of the last piece of
business, and then we go back to the hotel. We’ll head to Germany tomorrow.”

“Germany?”
“There’s a place we can stay there. It’s near Heidelberg.”
“Before all this happened I had never been farther west than Albuquerque,”
Bella said.
I wasn’t too sure if she meant that as a good thing or not, so I had no idea how
to respond. I looked down at my watch and decided it was probably time to get
this show on the road, as they say. I pulled a one-hundred dollar bill from my
wallet and a pen from my pocket. I wrote the word “twilight” across the bill.
“What’s that?” Bella questioned.
“My key,” I said with a smile. “Wait here. Don’t move. Don’t talk to anyone,
okay?”
“Fine,” she snipped.
“This shouldn’t take long.”
I stood up and crossed to the other side of the room, where a big guy stood next
to a closed door. I handed the guy at the door the bill in my hand. He nodded
curtly and stepped aside, pushing the door open for me. I went through, and the
door closed behind me. I was in a hallway, and at the very end there was an
open door. I walked quietly towards it, pulling out both my gun and the silencer
at the same time. As I approached, I twisted the silencer onto the end of the gun
and listened closely to the conversation inside the small room.
“According to my sources, it was the Hales,” a deep voice proclaimed.

“Why would the Hales go after Aro?” This voice was one I recognized – Eric
Yorkie from New York. Go figure. He had moved over to the European
operation several years ago. I had met him once or twice regarding arms deals.
“They’ve hardly done any business together, and their businesses are only
marginally related.”
“If they were going to eliminate anyone, I would think they would go after
Cullen’s group. He has the tech market down, and the Hales were always into
hi-tech.”
“McCarty’s involvement has been verified,” the third voice said. “I have my guy
trailing him, and he is with Hales.”
“Of course he is,” Eric replied. “He’s tight with Rosalie Hale.”
“I doubt she’s all that tight,” the first voice said with a laugh. They all joined in.
It was time for me to make my move.
It would all be over soon, right?
Chapter 50
I could feel my heart pounding as I started to lean forward, ready to step in,
make my kills, and get out. I welcomed the adrenaline rush as it poured
through my veins.
“Do we need to be concerned?” the deep voice I did not recognize said. “What
are they saying in Italy?”

“I haven’t heard back from them yet,” Eric told him.
“Is that a concern?”
“I was expecting to hear from them about ten minutes ago,” Eric replied. “I’m
not concerned yet.”
“Should we be?”
“Yes,” I said as I stepped through the doorway.
The gun fired, and a bright red spot formed in the center of a large, burly man’s
chest. His name was Stephen Roma, and he led the operation here. At least, he
used to lead it. He dropped face first onto the small round table where they all
sat. To his right was his brother – Vlad. Another one I had never met before,
but knew from his pictures. I shot him in the head before his sibling hit the
table.
Eric began to stand up, his hands going up in the air.
“Cullen!” he cried out. “What the hell?”
“No loose ends,” I said quietly.
The first shot threw him backwards and against the wall. I took a step forward
and aimed between his eyes. He looked to his left at his dead comrades before
looking back to me.
“I don’t have any allegiance…”
I ended him before he could finish.
I stood there for a moment, considering the best course at this time. Having a
cleaning crew come out and dispose of them didn’t even seem worth the effort at
this point, but it would be better than just leaving them to be found later. The
guy at the door – the one who took my cash – he would have no reason to come
back here for some time. It would be best to get out now, grab Bella, and get
out of the country.

I holstered the gun under my jacket and walked out, passing the doorman with
a slight nod in his direction. He had obviously heard nothing. I walked quickly
around the counter to the booth where I had left Bella.
She wasn’t there.
This was bad, right?
Chapter 51
A tap on my shoulder nearly got Bella shot.
“Where the fuck were you?” I hissed under my breath.
“The bathroom,” she replied with wide eyes. “I didn’t get a chance to go
before…and then there was this guy…”
“What guy?” I asked, looking around. Bella looked over her shoulder before
slowly scanning the bar.
“I don’t see him anymore,” she said.
“What was he doing?” I asked. I didn’t know who the fucker was, but I had
plenty of ammunition left.
“He came up and talked to me,” she said. “But I didn’t understand what he was
saying.”
I took her by the arm and started heading out the door. Now was not the time
for chatting anyway. We needed to make a quick exit before any of my
activities were discovered. I didn’t need the guy standing at the door to the
back rooms to remember me very well, and the longer I stayed the more likely
that became.

I hailed a taxi on the street, and took us to our hotel. I told Bella to get her
things back in the bag since we weren’t staying. She wasn’t happy about it, but
she threw everything back into her suitcase and we were off again.
A couple hours later, we were on a train to Heidelberg.
I showed our passports to the conductor for what must have been the twelfth
time before dropping down into the bench seat next to Bella. At least we had
ended up in a car without company, and I was grateful for that. I took a deep
breath, trying to relax for the first time since…well…since yesterday morning.
Or maybe the night before. All the days were starting to run together. Was it
Tuesday still?
I looked over the Bella, who looked completely exhausted as she sat with her
hands in her lap, gripping the handled to her suitcase.
“You want me to put that in the overhead bin?” I asked, pointing at the bag.
She shook her head.
“I’ll just have to get it down again, then unpack it, then pack it back up,” she
said. That’s when I noticed her hands were trembling.
I wanted to open my mouth and say…well…something, but low and behold, I

had no idea what I should say. Saying nothing didn’t seem right either, though.
“Once we get to the next place we should be able to stay there a while,” I said,
hoping it sounded comforting, but doubting it. Bella just shrugged. I wondered
if she had been watching me shrug and maybe practicing my methods. She

seemed pretty good at it. I knew she was upset, but figured anything I would
say or do would just make it worse. Then I remembered how asking her
worked before.
I reached out and placed my hand on her arm.
“What can I do?” I asked her. Bella’s eyes met mine briefly, then she looked
back to her fingers gripped around the suitcase handles. She shook her head
and huffed out of her nose.
“I was just thinking,” she said quietly, but did not elaborate. Because I am a
glutton for all things anti-me, I had to ask for more.
“Thanking about what?”
She let a humorless laugh escape her mouth.
“When I was a kid, I thought about what my wedding night would be like,” she
admitted. “I thought of a lot of different things, but this wasn’t in the list.”
Fuck.
Add one more thing to the extremely long list of shit I’ve fucked up in her life. I
mean, that’s the kind of things girls think about a lot, isn’t it? I remember
someone telling me they did – maybe it was Emmett. Yeah, I was pretty sure it
was him. Bella probably had some grand idea of love and hearts and flowers
and shit, and she was stuck with me.

I hoped she would sleep on the train, because she certainly looked like she
needed it. She didn’t even nod off though, and we spent most of the time sitting
in silence. When we reached the train station in Heidelberg, I rented a car and
headed off into the countryside towards the little house just outside of Dilsberg.
It was a small place, but secluded and pretty much unknown. You couldn’t
even see it from the road, and no one who didn’t know it was there would ever
have found it.
I carried Bella’s suitcase and my bag into the one and only bedroom and
dropped them down at the foot of the bed. I took a quick look around and
made sure all the lights worked and the toilet flushed. Then did a quick scan for
any electronic signals that might indicate a bug had been planted. Satisfied the
place was pretty much undisturbed from the last time I had been there, I pulled
out the phone and called Emmett.
“You got a trailer, you know,” I told him.
“Yeah, he followed us for a few hours,” Emmett replied. “At the moment, he’s
eating grit at the bottom of the river, though.
“Nice. Who was he?”
“Dunno for sure,” Emmett said. “but he seemed to be alone. We’ll keep a look
out. Oh, and since you aren’t here, I get first dibs. I’m taking Aro’s boats.”
“Yeah, fine,” I said. I didn’t really care which portions of Aro’s business I ended
up controlling. I hung up and went back to the bedroom where Bella sat on the
edge of the bed, still looking about a worn out and miserable as she could be.
Not that I could begrudge her any of that, but I still wished there was
something I could do. I was still our wedding night, technically. There should
have been something I could do to make it not totally suck.

An idea popped into my head, and for once I didn’t think it was totally fucked
up.
“Bella?”
“Yeah?” she looked up at me. I could see the remnants of tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry your wedding night sucks,” I said. I immediately wished I could take
it back, but there was nothing I could do once the words were already out of my
mouth. “Um…can I try to make it better?”
She eyes me warily.
“How?”
“Would you…um…would you give me the honor of dancing with you?” I

sucked my lower lip into my mouth,
wondering how perfectly stupid my idea
probably was now that it was out in the
open. I looked back up to her, waiting to
see if she was going to smack me across
the face or anything, but she didn’t. She
just looked at me for a good long while
before tears started dripping down her
cheeks again.
Shit. I had fucked it up.
Before I could say anything else stupid,

Bella nodded to me and stood up.
“I don’t know how to dance,” she said through her tears.
“I don’t either,” I said with a shrug. I took a step forward and put my arms
around her. She put her hands around the back of my neck and lay her cheek
against my chest. We didn’t have any music, and all either of us could really do
was sway back and forth a bit, but it didn’t matter.

Chapter 52
It was still really early in the morning, and the summer air was still cool as I
stepped out the sliding screen door and onto the little cement patio in the back
of the cottage. I dropped down into one of two small plastic chairs and lit up.
Four weeks.
We hadn’t left the cottage except for quick stops to the local market for food.
Even then I made a point of making sure we wore hooded sweatshirts and dark
glasses. I wasn’t going to take any chances of some random security camera
catching a glimpse of us.
Back in the states, Rosalie and Jasper worked on trying to deactivate the chip.
One of the slaves had apparently found a doctor willing to try removing it, but it
didn’t go well at all. She didn’t make it – died right on the table. I didn’t tell
Bella about it, but I would if she ever pushed to find a doctor willing to do the
surgery to remove it. No way in hell was I going to let her take that chance. The
last report I got from the Hales was some success with EMPs stopping the
signal for a while at least, though it seemed to come back after a day or so.
It would be better than nothing.
During the day, Bella tried to learn a little German by watching television and
quizzing me on common words and phrases. I had done a lot of my legitimate
business in Germany, and I knew enough to be able to hold a conversation and
watch the local news, which was more than adequate for my needs. Other than
being able to pay for groceries and whatever, I didn’t plan on holding a lot of
lengthy, deep discussions.

At night she slept in bed with me, and when she had nightmares I held onto her
until she calmed down enough to sleep again. I never said anything apart from
reminding her that it was a dream, and that she was safe. If I had learned one
thing during any of this, it was to shut the fuck up about ninety percent of the
time. Anytime I wasn’t sure exactly what to say, that’s what I did instead.
Sometimes I still had to answer one of her questions or something, but
otherwise I stayed quiet
Bella talked.
Bella talked a lot.
I took the last long drag of my smoke, stubbed the butt out in the ashtray, and
lit another one. I did my best to get all my smoking in while Bella was either
asleep or otherwise occupied. I could tell it really bothered her when I smoked,
though I didn’t understand why. She kept saying it was bad for me, but really –
who would give a shit if I keeled over from lung cancer, really? Regardless, I
had cut back quite a bit just due to the circumstances, and tried my best not to
smoke right in front of her, even though sometimes when she started talking
about her childhood, I really, really wanted one.
Bella talked about her parents and her friends at school. I was a little surprised
to hear she still had a year left of high school, since she was obviously really
smart. I didn’t know why she would have started late or been held back or
something, but I didn’t ask either. I also didn’t ask why she never mentioned
what her father did for a living, though I could probably guess. Part of me
wanted to call her out on it, because she talked about her mom’s job as school
principal quite a bit, but never talked about Cop Daddy.

I guess if I was in her position I wouldn’t have mentioned it either, but it did
make me wonder if she realized that I already knew. I figured that she didn’t,
which is why she wasn’t brining up his career. Then again, she was obviously
bright – she had to have picked up on me not asking what he did, too. I guess
that kind of put us at an impasse of sorts.
I had found enough articles on the internet to reassure Bella that he mother was
fine, and had recovered from most of her injuries. That had served to keep her
from asking me about calling them every single day. I had taken to sleeping with
the phone. I also found plenty to tell me her parents were completely distraught,
and had pretty much put their lives on hold to search for her. I didn’t show such
things to Bella, though I felt bad that I was kind of deceiving her. We were half
way through the stretch now – in another month, she could call them. It would
be hell on them all in the mean time, but at least by then I could make sure she
was safe and it wouldn’t happen all over again
I wanted to get her back her parents.
But I sure as hell never, ever wanted to meet her dad.
Something told me Cop Daddy would not take too kindly to the guy responsible
for his daughter’s kidnapping and enslavement. Nope, pretty unlikely, despite
what the same guy might have done to get her out of it. Yeah, I was not going to
be invited to the Policeman’s Ball or Christmas Dinner or whatever the hell cops
did to raise money for whatever the hell they needed to buy. Or was it charity
for something else? I had no freaking idea.
I’d probably donate anyway, if he’d let me
Why?
Because over the past four weeks, I got a look into the way a family was
supposed to be, and I had never known anything like it before. Bella told me
about trips to the zoo the three of them took, and how her dad held her hand

when she got scared going through the Nocturnal House and she saw the
vampire bats. I heard about Bella cooking weird food with her mom, and the
way her dad would try to eat it, even when it was awful. I learned about
bedtime stories, holding on to the back of the bicycle, and swinging a baseball
bat at tennis balls.
I had never heard of any of this before.
For the first time in my life, I figured out the way other people had lived, and
how different it was from the way I grew up. Part of me figured I should be
angry about it – I mean, no one ever did any of that shit for me – but I just
wasn’t. If anything, I felt more dead inside than I had before.
It reminded me about some of the shit Jasper said to me out on the balcony. I
didn’t know how to deal with people, he had said. What the fuck was that
supposed to mean, anyway? I knew how to deal with people, didn’t I?
All right, fine. I didn’t
I just wasn’t sure what difference it made.
But now…now I was starting to understand something else. I couldn’t put my

finger on exactly what it was, but I knew…I just knew that it should make a
difference. I should want to know how to cope with people. If not people, a
person. One person in particular.
Bella.
Because ever since we danced on our wedding night, if you could call it that, I
could not get her out of my head. The more she talked about her life, the more I
wanted to know. I didn’t know if any girl I had ever met or dated before had
ever talked about their past – I really couldn’t remember. If they had, I didn’t

listen because I didn’t care. But listening to Bella was like crack or something –
I couldn’t get enough of it.
And it scared the shit out of me.
I stubbed the cigarette out as I heard the bedroom door open and Bella walked
sleepily into the kitchen to make breakfast. She always cooked breakfast as soon
as she got up – usually just eggs and toast, but sometimes it was something more
elaborate, depending on what we had to the kitchen. Yesterday she bought
blueberries so she could make blueberry pancakes.
I was pretty sure I had never had blueberry pancakes before.
Her gaze met mine through the screen door, and I knew by the look in her eye
that she was on to me and my early morning nicotine fests. I gave her a bit of a
smile and a shrug before I went back inside, slipped past her in the kitchen and
went to take a shower and get the smoke scent off of me.
At least she didn’t have to smell it, right?

Chapter 53
“Oh my God,” Bella whispered. “It’s beautiful.”
It had been nearly two months without incident. No more trailers, no activity
from any of Aro’s previous businesses. Emmett did most of the monitoring, and
he had certainly taken the lion’s share of the businesses he “divided” between
the two of us. Other times I would have cared, but not now. Now I only
focused on what I could do to make Bella’s temporary life here with me more
bearable.
I glanced from Bella to Neuschwanstein – the

giant Bavarian castle. She had a real smile on
her face, and those were rare. When I saw it on
her face, my heart would start pounding in my
chest like I had just run a mile or something.
Or just walked up this fucking insane hill for a

closer view of the castle.
I had wanted to take her more places and do

more things, but it just hadn’t been possible
after news of the second trailer on Alice and Jasper. Until we could confirm
these people were more the curious and not a missed cell of Aro’s operation,
there would be no outings for Bella. She took it in stride, as far as I could tell,
but then – she always seemed to take everything in stride. She only cried at
night, when she had the dreams.
Taking a little trip south was the first time we had ventured out for something
other than the necessities, and I wanted it to be something cool, at least. The
castle made the most sense, and wasn’t too far away from where we were
staying. Considering the look on her face, I had the feeling I just might have
done something right for a change.

We took the usual guided tour, and I shoved a bunch of bills into Bella’s hand so
she could check out the gift shop at the end of the tour. I stepped outside to
grab a quick smoke while she wasn’t looking. While I stood there, my phone
rang. It was Rosalie.
“I think we got it,” she said. “It was just a matter of the right frequency to
cancel the signal…”
She went on for a couple minutes about shit that made no sense to me before I
cut her off.
“So, what you are saying is you can shut the chip off?”
“Yeah, exactly.” She hummed for a second. “At least, we’re pretty sure we can.
The ones we’ve tried this on have been down for four days so far and haven’t
reactivated like they were before.”
“Good news.” I crushed the cigarette butt under my heel.
“Finally,” she agreed.
“How long before you know for sure, and you can get here to deactivate
Bella’s?”
“A week to ten days,” Rosalie said with confidence. “Are you going to tell her?”
“Yeah,” I said. “She should be pretty happy about that. At least she can get an
idea of when she can go home. I know all this up in the air shit has been kind of
nerve wracking for her.”
I hung up just as Bella was coming out with a small bag in her hand. Inside
were a 3D puzzle of the castle and a model of it inside a snow globe, which she
said was for her mom.
“Why are you smiling?” she asked me with narrowed eyes. I shrugged, because
I hadn’t really realized that I was smiling.
“Looks like Rose and Jasper found a way to shut the chip off,” I told her. Her
eyes went wide for a minute as she bit down on her lip.

“I can go home?” she asked quietly.
“Just another couple of weeks,” I told her. “Then yeah, you can go home.”
“Two weeks?” she said, and her face got all scrunched up like she was upset,
which wasn’t the reaction I was expected. I looked at her closely, trying to
figure out where I could have misread her. For a brief moment, I wondered if
she was going to miss being here with me, and then I told myself not to be so
fucking stupid. The chances of that were about as good as me finding all the
right words to say at the right time.
“Is that bad?” I finally asked when I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“No,” she said softly. She started heading back down the trail to the bottom of
the hill. I followed after her.
“Bella, what is it?”
She shrugged, telling me it was nothing, which was bullshit.
“Tell me,” I said. I reached out and grabbed a hold of her elbow, which slowed
her down, but she didn’t stop. “Please?”
She stopped and turned to look at me.
“Next week is my birthday,” she finally said. “I thought maybe…maybe I would

be home by then.”
I remembered the date from the paperwork Aro had given me. On September
thirteenth she would be nineteen. Today was the eighth. As much as I wanted
to be able to give her whatever birthday wish she desired, there was no way
Rosalie would be ready by then.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. I let my hand slide down her arm, and I took her
hand in mine. Her fingers were warm and a little damp with the humidity. I
twined our fingers together, and we headed back down the side of the hill.

Chapter 54
Bella started putting together her puzzle on the little table in the kitchen while I
took a quick shower. The warm spray relaxed the muscles in the backs of my
legs, which hadn’t had near enough use lately and were aching after the long
trek up the hill to Neuschwanstein.
In the small house, even with the water on I could hear Bella in the kitchen. I
heard the refrigerator door open and I thought about when she might be pulling
out to eat or drink. Maybe she was thinking about making diner or something.
Thoughts of Bella floated around inside of me as I washed, and I felt the
constant urge to jerk off.
I resisted the desire, which wasn’t difficult. I never liked doing it on my own in
the first place, and now it just seemed…well…even worse. Every time I even
considered taking it in my hand, I couldn’t only see images of Bella in my head.
As soon as I saw those, thoughts of the basement when she had been kept and
what they did with her to train her to my liking pretty much killed the mood.
When I tried to think of other women – either ones I had dated before or even
some freaking model or movie star – well…nothing happened. If I wasn’t
thinking about Bella, apparently my body wasn’t interested.
I kind of wondered if I’d ever want to fuck anyone again.
Wrapping a towel around my waist, I made the quick jaunt between the
bathroom and the bedroom. I could smell something really scrumptious coming
from the kitchen, and didn’t want to waste any time figuring out what it was. I
pulled some lounge pants on, but didn’t bother with a shirt or anything. It was
still pretty warm and humid, though the nights had cooled off a lot. I grabbed a
hand towel to rub over my hair, but the rest of me was still pretty wet as I
walked back out and into the kitchen.

Bella was stirring something around in a big skillet, and kept adding bits of
vegetables and sauce to it. It would crackle and hiss, and she would stir it
around some more.
“What are you making?” I asked.
Bella turned slightly and her mouth opened just a bit, but she didn’t say
anything. Her eyes widened a bit, and I wondered what could be so shocking
about my question. My hair fell all over my forehead – it was really getting way
too long – as I stopped trying to dry it and wiped a few drops from my chest
instead.
“Pad Thai,” Bella finally said. Her tongue ran over her lips quickly as her eyes
dropped, and then she looked back to the pan.
“Cool,” I said. I honestly never considered that you could make something like
that outside of an actual Thai restaurant, but she seemed to know what she was
doing. Everything she made was fucking awesome. Going back to delivered
pizza and Chinese carry out was going to suck.
“This is fucking awesome,” I told her when I slurped up the last of what was on
my plate. “Is there more?”
“Well, there are the ingredients for more,” Bella said. “I didn’t cool any more
though.”
“Would you?” I asked, trying to give her something like puppy dogs eyes. She
laughed at me, which was almost as awesome as the Asian noodle dish.
“I have to pretty much start all over again!” she complained, but she really
didn’t seem to be upset.
“Please?” I asked. I leaned closer to her and looked up into her eyes. “Purdy
please?”
Bella pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at me. She seemed to be thinking it
over. Finally, she spoke.
“All right, but only on one condition.”

“Anything.” Okay – I knew that was a stupid thing to say, but I was going to
have to go with it at that point.
“No more cigarettes.”
“What?”
“Quit smoking,” she said. “Right now.”
“No fucking way,” I said. I wasn’t sure if she was being serious or not, but just
the very mention of quitting had me jonesing for one.
“No fucking Pad Thai,” she said. She raised her brows at me in challenge.
“None?”
“Nope.”
“Not even a little?” I asked. I pointed over to the stovetop in the kitchen, and
when Bella glanced that way I grabbed one of the noodles off her plate. She
looked back, catching me as I shoved it into my mouth. She glared at me.
“Not even any more of mine.” She pulled her plate in closer and wrapped her
forearms around it protectively.
I sat back and thought about my options. The Pad Thai was freaking awesome,
and I did want more. I also knew there was no way I was going to quit smoking
– not today at least. Maybe a compromise would work
“What could I get for no more smokes today?” I asked.
“Hmm,” Bella hummed and tapped her finger on her chin. “A small portion, I
guess.”
“Deal,” I said with a smirk. At least I was getting something out of this. I still
wanted a smoke, though.
I ate my second, smaller helping and watched the sun go down out the patio
door. Usually I’d be sitting out there having a cigarette while Bella was doing
the dishes or something. I sighed, and decided to help her wash up to keep my

mind off of it. She looked a little surprised when I offered to dry. I guess I
really hadn’t helped before.
“Sorry,” I said as I took one of the plates and wiped it with a towel. “I haven’t
been much help, have I?”
“It’s okay,” she responded.
I wondered if I should say more, but figured that was a mistake, so I kept quiet.
“Did you have chores to do as a kid?” Bella asked.
“No.”
“Did your mom do everything for you?”
I laughed a bit.
“Um…not really,” I said. I shrugged and placed the last plate back in the
cabinet and started drying a glass.
“But your dad wasn’t home much, right?”
“Right.”
“Who did it then?”
“Did what?” I asked.
“Things like this.” Bella held up a soap suds covered bowl. “Who washed the
dished and vacuumed and cleaned the sinks and stuff?”
I tried to remember my mom doing any of those things, and couldn’t really
remember much. I remembered using the same plate lots of times in a row, and
I think sometimes she would wash it. I didn’t remember ever seeing a vacuum
cleaner. I remembered the trashcan in the kitchen, and how the brown bottles
would fall out of it onto the floor and make everything sticky. I looked at Bella
and shrugged again.
“I guess my mom did,” I finally said. “Sometimes.”

Bella’s eyes locked with mine, and for the longest time she just stood there with
the soapy bowl in her hands and looked at me. She did that sometimes, and I
never understood why. I would have questioned her on it, but…well…I tried
not to say much. It seemed to be working out pretty well.
Eventually she looked back to her hands and we finished the dishes without any
other words. It was weird – but I kind of liked helping her wash them. I’d
never really done that before. I had some dishes at my place, but usually used
paper. Cups and forks and everything else went in the dishwasher.
That night, I was sitting up in bed with my back against eh headboard and
reading a couple emails from Angela. She was asking if my “extended vacation”
was going to conclude in time for the meeting with New Moon Technical
Resources, or should she have someone else take care of it. I answered that one
and a few others as Bella settled into the spot beside me. She propped her
pillow up so she was sitting as well.
I looked over to her and gave her a half smile, which she didn’t quite return.
“Edward, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” I said. I laced the phone down on the nightstand.
“Do you understand what you did to me?”
My chest and throat tightened up, and I couldn’t really breathe correctly. This
was not a conversation I wanted to have. There was no way I could possibly
say anything that wouldn’t make it all worse, but she had asked, and I felt like I
had to answer her.
Honestly was the best policy, right?

Author's Notes:
One last "Easter Egg" for ya today. Things are starting to get...interesting.
And nothing I did now would ever, ever change that.
Chapter 55
I really, really didn’t want to talk about this. Not at all. But when I looked at
Bella and saw the earnestness on her face, I couldn’t deny her anything.
“I don’t think I’ll ever know,” I finally said. “I mean, not really. I have enough of
an idea that I feel like…well, I’d say I feel like shit, but that doesn’t even begin
to cover it.”
Bella bit down at her lip and kept her gaze on me.
“They took me because of what you asked for,” she said, and I nodded in
response. She already knew, so it was only confirmation anyway. “If you hadn’t
asked for someone who looked like me, what would have happened?”

“They were there to pick up another girl,” I told her. The conversation with the
one hostage at Aro’s place ran through my head. “If it wasn’t for me, they would
have picked up someone else, not you.”
“Did they ever pick up that other girl?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “He said they were full and drove back after getting
you.”
She sat back a little and seemed to contemplate that information. I wondered
what she thought about that other girl – the one that was targeted but not
picked up. Did she wish the other girl had lived through what she had? Or was
she glad the other girl was okay?
I wanted to say I wished it was the other girl, because then Bella would never
have had all that shit happen to her. But if she hadn’t, I never would have
known her. When it all came down to it, I was still a selfish bastard.
“Do you know why you did it?” She asked quietly.
“I’m a selfish bastard?” I tried to smile, but it didn’t work. I wondered if I was
going to get the chance to go back into silent mode. Ever since Bella figured out
she was going to go home soon, she had been peppering me with questions I felt
like I had to answer. For every one I answered, two more unanswerable ones
would show up in my head.
“That’s not why,” she said. Her tone was completely serious.
I felt her hand reach out and trace over my cheek. I looked over at her for a
second, but I really didn’t have an answer for her. I wanted sex, but I had told
her that before. I wanted someone who would obey me and do whatever I
wanted. I still wanted all that…at least, I think I did. Sort of.

I wanted her. I wanted Bella. And the idea that I could ever have her – really,
really have her, was as ludicrous as thinking your love life could be fixed by
buying a sex slave. Because the only way I could – the only way I would even
want to – was if she wanted it as well. Its why I couldn’t even masturbate to
thoughts of her, because every time I did I felt like I was forcing her. Every
image in my head would turn into her tears, and crying for me to stop.
Even though she never did – she never told me to stop.
I knew there was a lot of shit I was pretty inept at doing and understanding, but
I wasn’t so stupid that I thought it made any difference. She couldn’t tell me to
stop – she wasn’t allowed to.
“I didn’t know what I was doing,” I said. I wasn’t trying to make excuses – I
just…wanted her to understand. “I never would have done it if I had known. I
should have known – all those fucking questions. I should have known and
thought about it and not been so fucking stupid.
But I didn’t.
And nothing I did now would ever, ever change that.
“I’m sorry, Bella.” I moved sideways on the bed so I could face her. “I’m so, so
fucking sorry…I can’t make it right. I can’t ever take it back. I don’t know what
I was thinking. I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinking, not at all…I just wanted…I wanted
someone…someone who…who…”
I didn’t know how to finish. My head hurt, and everything inside of it was so
jumbled up, I couldn’t think straight. I kept seeing that little toy piano smashed
on the patio, and Mom’s car askew on the driveway. Then they were taking the
trailer away, and when I went into my room inside, there was nothing to try to

keep before they hauled the rest away. Then Tanya was walking away from me,
telling me not to bother to ever call her again…and then it was Bree…and then
it was Irina…and then it was Jessica…and then it was Zafrina…and then it was
Kate…
“You were always left alone, Edward.” I looked away from her, no longer
wanting to meet her eyes. I could still feel the tips of her fingers along my jaw,
though. They felt like a line of tiny fires on my skin. “No one ever stayed with
you. Not your parents or the teacher you liked. Not the women you’ve dated.
You don’t have any friends to speak of. You wanted someone who couldn’t
leave.”
“Why would they,” I heard myself mumble. I shoved myself up and out of the
bed, grabbing the pack of cigarettes on my way out the patio door. Bella came
out and stood behind me, and I remembered I wasn’t supposed to smoke. I
cursed and threw both the pack and the lighter against the brick wall before I
dropped down into the plastic chair with my head in my hands.
“You aren’t all bad,” Bella said.
I let out a sharp laugh. I leaned back in the chair and looked over to her. My
breathing wasn’t right, and I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest.
“Yeah, at least after I fuck someone’s life up I try to fix it,” I snorted, then back-
pedaled. “Actually, even that is a first for me. Usually when I fuck someone up
they end up in the morgue.”
“Edward,” Bella sighed my name.
“What, Bella?” I snapped. I didn’t just snap at her verbally – I actually felt like
something inside me had snapped completely. I started yelling at her. “You
going to tell me how it all would have happened anyway? Tell me how you
could have been sold to someone else, someone worse? Worse than me, the
fucking arms dealer with a thing for oral? Because we both know that isn’t true.
If no one ever eats the fucking burger, the cow gets to live!”

I punched the brick wall, and besides the serious scraping of my knuckles, I was
about ninety percent sure I cracked a knuckle
“Fuck!”
“Edward!” Bella was at my side an instant later, taking my hand between hers,
then dragging me into the house and washing off my bloodied knuckles.
“Don’t do this,” I said over and over again. I didn’t try to stop her, but I didn’t
want her helping me out when I was being a jackass, either. “I’m fine. It doesn’t
fucking matter.”
Bella’s eyes swiveled quickly from my hand to my face, and the fire in them
actually cause me to step back a little.
“Shut up,” she said. I flinched again. “I mean it, just shut the fuck up. It does
matter. You matter.”
“Oh yeah?” I growled back. “To who, huh? Who gives a flying fuck?”
“I do!”
I laughed again – a short, sharp and humorless sound. Bella’s eyes continued to
glare at me, and I couldn’t hold her look for very long. She went back to
cleaning up my hand, and I didn’t protest any more. After she washed it all off,
she put some ice in a little baggie, dragged me to the little couch and held the ice
against my hand. As we sat there in silence, her eyes lost their fire and
eventually she was looking at me with what I guess was just…I don’t know…
pity or something. I preferred her anger.

After the required twenty minutes, Bella lifted the bag of ice from my hand and
examined it. It seemed okay, though it still hurt like a mother when I tried to
make a fist. Bella ran her fingers over mine, stroking them slowly up and down
and over my hand. It felt…nice.
Then she pulled my hand up and kissed the back of it.
I froze – completely unable to move. Bella dropped my hand into my lap as she
looked up at me. Her fingers reached out and traced over the edge of my jaw,
reminding me that I hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. Still motionless, all I
could do was watch as she closed the short gap between us. Her fingers
twitched, scratching slightly over my jaw as she moved. I watched her tongue
dart out and moisten her lips as she paused, barely an inch from me.
“You aren’t all bad,” she repeated, and then her lips touched mine. I kept my
own eyes open as I watched hers close. Her lips were touching mine, and they
were warm and soft.
And they were willing.
She had to be out of her mind, right?

Chapter 56
I didn’t kiss her back.
She pulled back away from me, and her hand dropped from my face.
“Don’t do that again,” I said. My voice was so quiet I could barely hear it. I
didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want her to hear it. I didn’t mean it, and I
wanted to take the words back.
“Why not?”
“It’s just not right.” Whatever was going on with my mouth, there were a bunch
of parts of me that did not agree with the decisions at all. One part in particular
seemed to be planning a mutiny with a couple other parts within close proximity
of the first part. I focused on her eyes in order to stop myself from looking at
her lips. If I looked at them, I was most certainly going to want to kiss her.
Every muscle in my body constricted – aching to reach out to her – to touch her,
to comfort her.
“Who says it’s not right?” she asked.
“Anybody from the outside looking in,” I replied.
“What if I don’t care what they think?” she said.
“Maybe you should.”
“Why?”
“Because!” I cried out and stood from the couch. “Because doing that was
fucking crazy. I ruined your life! Why in the world would you do something
like that?”
I crossed my arms in front of me and waited for her answer. My chest felt like it
was caving in again, and I figured when I got back to the states I was definitely
going to have to talk to my doctor about an acid reflux prescription.
“I wanted to,” she finally said softly. “I’ve wanted to for a while now.”

“That’s just…it’s just…Bella, that’s nuts!” I finally said. “It’s fucking Stockholm
Syndrome or whatever.”
“It is not,” she yelled back at me. “You don’t dictate what I do or how I feel,
Edward! Not anymore!”
Those words pretty much hit me right in the gut. Not that I didn’t deserve
them, because I did. I deserved a lot worse, too. Then there was the bit about
how she was completely, totally, one-hundred and seven percent correct.
And there was that little piece of me that really, really wanted it to be okay. It
was the part I had shoved down and off to the side, because it was so fucking
wrong I couldn’t even stand to think about it. It was the part that wouldn’t let
me get off in the shower, the part that desperately wanted to drag this trip out as
long as possible, and the part that was completely and totally, head over heels…
Oh fuck.
I couldn’t say it, not even inside my head.
“How?” I finally blurted out.
“How what?” Bella questioned.
“How can you possibly…why…I mean…you just…kissed me.”
Her face turned red and she looked down at her hands.
“How could you want to do that? I’m dangerous, Bella – don’t you see that?
Haven’t you seen enough of that?”
Her head turned back up and she looked at me. It was nearly dark outside now,
and we hadn’t turned on any of the lights except in the kitchen. I couldn’t see
her well, but I thought I could see the reflection of the lights in her eyes – off of
her tears.
“Dangerous, yes, but you aren’t bad,” she spoke quietly. “You’re not bad. It’s
just that…no one’s ever shown you how to care about someone else. No one’s
ever cared for you, and you’ve never cared for anyone else.”

But that wasn’t true…not anymore. There was someone I cared about.
“I care about you,” I told her. “I want you to be able to put all this shit behind
you. I want you to be able to keep going.”
Bella’s eyes dropped to the floor and she seemed to think for a while before
looking back to me again.
“I think I will,” she said, though she didn’t sound completely convinced. “The
nightmares are better at least, aren’t they?”
“Not as often,” I agreed. “But just as bad.”
Again, she went silent, and I thought better than to speak up. For a while she
looked from me, to the floor, and then back to me again. I didn’t know what
else to do, so I sat back down on the couch, but I kept my distance.
“When I have them,” Bella said, “and I wake up and feel you there with me…I
know I’m safe.”
I met her eyes and was sure there were tears in them again. My heart was
pounding and my chest was tight. When she would have those dreams, she
would cling to me for the rest of the night, but if I was holding her, she never
had the same dream again. I might have killed all the ones who hurt her, but I
couldn’t take them out of her head. The very least I could do was try to make
her feel protected from them when she did wake.
“I wouldn’t hurt you,” I swore to her. “I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.”
“I know,” she said. “If there is anything I am sure of about you, that would be
it.”
Her words calmed me a little, and I settled back against the cushions of the
couch again. I wanted her to feel safe. I wanted her to know that there was no
way I would ever let anyone ever hurt her again. If anyone tried, they would
never get a second opportunity.

My mind conjured up the feeling of her lips on mine again, and I thought about
what she said –t hat she had wanted to kiss me. I didn’t understand. I didn’t
understand it at all, but that mutinous part of me wanted to understand it better.
“You really wanted to kiss me?” I heard myself ask. Bella nodded and her
cheeks darkened. My hand reached out to touch her, but I brought it back close
to me again before it could. Bella looked up, and she seemed confused and
maybe even disappointed. I didn’t want her to think I didn’t want it when I
did. I figured it was still stupid to say, but I needed her to know. “I want you so
much.”
Bella smiled ever so slightly.
“I think that was apparent the first day we met,” she said.
“Not like that,” I said. “I mean…I do, but I didn’t mean that was what I
wanted…I mean, yeah ‘cause…well…I mean I do want to…with you…I mean
the kiss was…I just didn’t want you to think I didn’t…”
I didn’t have the slightest idea how I was going to dig myself out of the instant
hole I had created, and though I looked frantically around the room for a ladder
or some rope or something, I was unsuccessful. What do you do when you dig
yourself in that deep, and there’s no way out? Make the hole deeper, of course!
”I’m a guy!” I blurted out. “I always want that!”
I cringed at my own words and waited to see what she might throw at me. She
didn’t throw anything, so I looked up to see her covering her mouth to keep
from laughing. Her eyes were so beautiful and so full of life, I had to smile. I
shrugged a little, but I was too captivated by the light in her eyes to say
anything else. I shifted a little bit on the couch, and this time I let myself reach
out and touch her. My hand came up and cupped her cheek, and I ran my
thumb over her cheek bone as I looked at her.
“It’s not the same now,” I told her, wondering how I was going to explain that
my physical desire for her would probably always be present, but that wasn’t
the first thing I thought of when I looked at her. I wanted to hold her hand,

help her with the dishes and keep her safe. Now how did I say all that shit
without sounding like a total ass?
“I know,” she said simply.
“You know?” I responded in disbelief. My eyes dropped down to her lips and
the brief memory of how they had touched mine came back.
“Yes,” she replied. “Believe it or not, it’s pretty obvious what you are thinking
about most of the time.”
“It is?” My eyes met hers again. This was definitely news to me, and not what I
would consider good news. If she knew what I was thinking, then all the dumb-
ass shit in my head I didn’t allow myself to say was still known to her. I hoped
that wasn’t really the case. Did she know I was mentally at the bottom of a little
sandy hole in the ground, tossing more and more dirt over my shoulder with a
plastic toy shovel?
“Like right now,” she said as she shifted a little closer. “I know exactly what you
are thinking right now.”
“What am I thinking?” I asked, a little terrified she was going to say something
about the tiny green beach shovel I was using inside of my head.
“That you want me to kiss you again.”
Oh. That. Yeah, I was thinking that, too.
But that was obvious, right?

Chapter 57:
Knowing that anything and everything that could potentially come out of your
mouth is going to be the wrong thing to say, can really put a damper on
conversations.
Everything I had been feeling I had pushed away – trying not to acknowledge it
because everything about it was so entirely wrong. I wanted her. I knew I
wanted her, and for some insane reason, she was pushing the issue. The desire
to just move forward a little more, even if only to give her to go ahead to act,
was so strong I didn’t know if I would be able to stop myself from doing it. If
she decided to take that initiative – if she kissed me again – I honestly didn’t
know what I would do.
While my internal ramblings took over my conscious thoughts, Bella shifted in

her seat. The movement was enough to cause me to focus on her again, and I
could see my hand trembling where it cupped her face. She leaned forward,
and nothing short of sheer terror gripped me.
I couldn’t let her do this.
I couldn’t bring myself to stop her.
She reached out with her hands and ran the backs of her fingers over my jaw,
across my ears, and into the hair behind my head. Her eyes stayed on mine
until the very last moment, when they dropped to my mouth and close as her
lips covered mine.
It was so wrong it hurt.
But I kissed her back anyway.
Because it felt so good.
She rose up on her knees, angling herself down towards me as she pulled at the
back of my head to bring me closer to her. My hand on her cheek dropped to
her shoulder, and I wanted to push her away – I did, but I didn’t. I knew I

should, I should tell her to stop this, because wherever it was going was not
going to be a good place.
Somehow – I have no idea how – my hands ended up on her waist, and her
tongue ended up in my mouth. My body took over, leaving my mind
somewhere a long ways away – probably hanging out in some gutter with a
bunch of other trash. Her hands dropped to my shoulders and pushed me
backwards until I was lying beneath her a she straddled my waist and ran her
tongue over mine.
I had to stop this.
I couldn’t.
Just having her hands on me was like nothing I had ever experienced.
Everywhere she touched, my skin grew hot and felt like it was vibrating under
her fingers. It wasn’t just the physical sensation of our skin connecting, it was
something inside of me – something that had never given itself a voice before,
but was now screaming for satiation.
I felt wanted.
Not for my looks or my money or anything else superficial like that.
It felt like she wanted me.
Me.
Just me.
And it was so fucking wrong; I knew I shouldn’t let her continue.
My head knew how stupid this was, and had categorized every reason this
would never, ever work. She had been hurt too badly, and I was directly
responsible for that pain. I could make her safe again, but nothing I did could
ever take away what she had been through. Even if she could somehow get past
what had happened to her and my direct involvement in it, her father was a cop
and I was a crime lord.

I’d give it up for her.
It meant nothing to me.
I’d go to work in a fucking shoe shop if it would make a difference.
It was all too much…way too much.
I had to stop this before it went any farther.
I knew I had to.
But I didn’t.
I let her keep the lead, her tongue exploring my mouth and lips as her hands ran
over my shoulders, arms, and chest until she ran out of breath and had to back
away. She looked down at me with her eyes full of sparking excitement in the
darkened room, and her tongue ran over her lips. She leaned against one of her
hands for support as the other pushed my hair from my forehead before running
over my jaw and neck. Her fingers traced over my lips and down my chin
before she kissed me again. It was a soft kiss, gentle and unassuming.
“Take me to bed,” she said quietly, and I tried to figure out if it was a question
or a demand.
And the terror that gripped me before came back a thousand fold.
I had to stop this, right?
Chapter 58:
“Bella…” I tried to speak, but I was completely out of breath, and I didn’t want
to say anything I wanted to say. Her mouth covered mine again, stifling any
protest I may have had and definitely killing any desire I had to complain. She
just tasted so good…and she smelled so good…and she felt so right in my arms.
All I wanted to do was lean back and let her do anything and everything she
wanted to do with me. Even as my more rational mind continued to tap at the

back of my head with a ball-peen hammer as it chanted in rhythm with the hits
– stupid, stupid, stupid…
I didn’t care.
No, that’s not right – I did care.
I just didn’t want to care, because if I cared, then I’d have to make her stop.
If I made her stop, I just might never feel like this again.
Like I was where I was supposed to be.
Like I was where I was supposed to be, and the person with me actually wanted
me here.
Like maybe if I just let this happen, I wouldn’t be…wouldn’t be…
Alone.
My hands found their own way up her sides, around her back and to her
shoulders. They slid back down to her waist, and even though there was a bit
of a natural barrier there between the end of her shirt and the top of her jeans,
my hands didn’t pay any attention to it. My fingers wrapped around her
backside and pulled her down against me at the same time my hips instinctively
angled up, pressing hard against her.
I was so hard for her.
Bella gasped into my mouth, the heat from her breath mimicking the heat from
between her legs, where my cock was pushing up against her. She pulled back
from my mouth, and as I opened my eyes, the sheer enormity of how wrong this
was hit me again like a fucking really big brick.
The hands that held her tight against my raging cock pushed her back gently
down my legs.
“Bella…” I said again, still not too sure what was supposed to come after that.
“I want to,” she said quickly, but her eyes were just a little too much like they
had been before…when she had to.

“I will take you to bed,” I whispered up to her, “because you’re obviously tired
and not thinking straight.”
“I want to,” she said again, though her tone had lost its urgency.
“Not tonight,” I told her; because there was no way I could tell her no.
Her eyes dropped and she bit down on her lower lip.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said quietly.
She released her lip from her teeth and met my eyes again. I watched them
slowly turn from disappointment, to hurt, to anger.
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” she snapped. She pushed back
against my shoulders and removed herself from first my hold, then the couch,
and then the room. I heard the bedroom door slam behind her.
I probably should have expected this, right?
Chapter 59:
I dropped down in the plastic seat on the porch and reached out to the ground
where my pack of cigarettes and lighter lay next to the brick wall. I glanced at
my watch to verify it was two minutes after midnight before I lit one and
brought it to my lips. I let the smoke into my lungs, and then blew it back out
again with a big sigh.
I’d obviously fucked up again, big time.
What else was new?
I put my hand over my face and closed my eyes, thinking back to what had
transpired just a couple of hours ago, and what the hell I could have done
differently to make it any better. Not surprisingly, I didn’t know what else I
should have done. If I had rejected her outright, we’d probably still be in this
same situation right now. If I had taken her to bed…

Fuck, what if I had?
I’d probably be laying there right now, with Bella in my arms, in the most
intense post-coital bliss imaginable, that’s what.
I flipped the cigarette into my left hand and took another puff. In the darkness,
I could just barely see the glint off the gold band around my third finger.
Married.
What the fuck did that mean, anyway?
Nothing.
I never thought I would be married, even under the circumstances that had
necessitated this farce of a marriage. As soon as Bella was safe she would go
home to her parents and we’d get it all annulled or whatever. I didn’t really
even know what the whole institution of marriage was supposed to mean. I was
never going to have kids – no way in hell. I wasn’t about to bring some kid into
my fucked up life. No one deserved that.
Bella was just a kid, really. I’d brought her into my life, and look where that got
her? She was trying to seduce the asshole who bought her for sex, and I
probably would have let her if she had just asked one more time. If it had been
anyone else in the world, I probably would have just rolled her over and fucked
her on the couch. Then I would have gotten up and left. Maybe I would have
called her again later.
Probably not.
She hadn’t even finished high school.
I wondered again why that was.
I leaned back in the chair a bit, and my fingers rubbed deep into my eyes, like
maybe if I shoved my fingers into my eye sockets hard enough I’d stop thinking
about all of this. Thinking about it didn’t seem to help any, and it just left me
feeling confused, stupid and useless. My hand dropped, and I looked up into
the clear fall sky. All the stars were out, and this remote location had almost no

light pollution at all, so I could see every point of light clearly. As I stared, little
flecks of light shot across the sky – tiny specks of dust blazing into a big fiery
ball as it hit the atmosphere.
A moment later, blinding headlights from a car coming up the drive burned into
my retinas.
Shit.
The cigarette forgotten, I pulled open the patio door, grabbed the H&K and
checked the clip before trying to shove it into the elastic waistband of the lounge
pants, which of course didn’t work.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I pulled my jacket out of the closet, slipped the gun into the pocket, and went
back out the patio door, leaving it open as I went and silently cursing myself for
being so unprepared. A couple months of non-violence and I had already lost
my touch.
The car was pulling up alongside the rental we’d brought from Heidelberg. I
watched from around the corner as the engine turned off, the dome light went
on, and the driver’s side door opened. There didn’t appear to be anyone else in
the car, just a single guy who pushed himself out of the car and looked towards
the house. The light was still on in the kitchen, and he cocked his head to one
side to peer in.
I moved around the edge of the house, coming up silently behind him as he
walked towards the door. I lifted the gun up and aimed at the back of his neck.
“Don’t move,” I told him. His steps halted, but he had enough sense to not turn
around. “Put your hands up on your head and tell me who the fuck you are and
what the fuck you are doing here.”
He moved slowly, holding his hands out to the side as he brought them up over
his head and laced his fingers together on the top. I couldn’t see his face, and
could only tell he was a tall guy and pretty big in general. He took a long

breath, held it a second, and then breathed back out. My fingers tensed on the
trigger.
“Edward Cullen, I presume?”
Him knowing my name wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, right?
Chapter 60:
“Considering which end of the gun is pointing at you, I think your name is a
little more important here.” I sounded calm, even to myself, but inside I was a
freaking wreck. I had no idea who this guy was. His voice wasn’t familiar, and
I couldn’t see him in the dim light well enough to determine if I knew his face.
Normally, I might not have cared that much – I would have either shot him or
taken the chance, solely dependent on my mood – but I couldn’t do that now.
Bella was inside, and if anything happened to me, she’d be on her own.
“My name is Lee Stephens,” he told me. “I know you probably don’t know me,
but we have a mutual friend. Aro Volturi? Well, I guess he’s an ex-friend.”
He laughed nervously.
“Um…seriously,” he continued. “I was trying to work out a deal with you,

through him, when he…well…”
His feet shuffled a little on the gravel drive. I took a half step forward and
touched the back of his neck with the barrel. He went still.
“I just want to talk business, I swear.”
“You want to explain why you showed up here, to talk whatever business you
want to talk about at this time of night?”
“I wasn’t really planning on talking to you tonight,” he said. “I heard you were
in the area, and thought I’d take a chance on finding you. You know…to maybe
talk about finishing the deal with you directly? I should have been here hours

ago, but I got lost and drove around forever. I wasn’t even sure I had the right
place, but when I saw a light on…”
His nervous laugh resurfaced.
Hindsight is a beautiful thing. The thing that sucks about it is that you can’t use
it before hand.
There were probably a dozen little alarms going off in my head. I didn’t know
why I didn’t pay them any heed. Bella was far too distracting, and I really did
seem to have a hard time thinking straight when every other thought was about
her, even with my gun up to some idiot who practically snuck up on me in the
middle of the night. A thousand thoughts about her safety were going through
my head – killing him would require either a cleanup crew of a big-ass hole in
the ground, which I did not want to dig. I didn’t want him to even see Bella,
because even knowing I was here with someone could be a threat. At the same
time, someone probably knew he was here, so killing him wasn’t the best idea,
either. He could even have a collection of thugs on the other side of the hill.
If he was really just here for a quick deal…well…it would be a lot more
suspicious for me not to talk to him than it would be for me to talk to him.
Besides, if I talked to him for a while I might get an idea of he was legit or not.
If he was, I could make nice with him, talk a little business and send him on his
way. If things got a little dicey…well, I’d deal with that as it comes along.
“I can leave…come back in the morning…”
There was sweat collecting on the back of his neck, so at least I knew he was
genuinely worried. I dropped the gun slightly, but still kept it aimed at him.
“Back of the house,” I said. I followed behind him as we walked around the
corner to the back patio. I reached over and shut the door, not wanting Bella to
wake up or be seen. I motioned with the gun for him to sit in one of the chairs,
and I sat next to him and finally got a good look. He was a tall guy, kind of
burly and maybe about twenty-five. He kind of looked like one of those
suburban gang members who desperately wanted to be a bad ass, but just
couldn’t quite pull it off.

“Who are you again?” I asked.
“Lee Stephens,” he said. “I’ve been kind of an admirer of yours, I guess you
would say. I’ve done a few deals – small time stuff only, nothing that would
interfere with your business or anything. I was hoping I might be able to start
using you as a supplier, to be completely blunt.”
His nervous laugh was starting to annoy the shit out of me.
“And?”
“And…um…” His hand wiped the back of his neck. “I tried to get an
appointment with you, and I couldn’t. So, I went through Aro.”
“Maybe you should still go through Aro.” I kept my gaze steady and right on
him.
“Is that a joke or something?” he asked.
“Am I laughing?”
“Um…no…” he mumbled. His hand rubbed at his forehead. “Aro’s who

organization got taken over. No one’s seen him, so I kind of figured he was out,
you know?”
“No, I don’t,” I said. “I’m on vacation.”
“Oh…yeah,” he stumbled over his words. “Shit, I’m really sorry about that. I
just…wanted to meet you…you know, start up a business relationship? I know
you can get what my clients want, and I’d like to work with you.”
“How did you find this place?”
“Word gets around,” he said with a shrug.
I leveled the H&K with his face.
“Give me a better answer,” I demanded. This guy was either stupid or

extremely amateur. Maybe both.

“Shit…Uh…I heard from Harry Clearwater that you had a place around here.
I do some work with his son, Seth. They said you were out of the country – out
of the States, that is – and that you weren’t too far from where I had a
warehouse. I was here anyway, so I took the chance.”
“Not good enough.” I stood up and took a step towards him. His hands went in
the air.
“I swear!” he cried. “Shit – really! I only wanted to meet you! I tried to work
through the Hales and a couple of the Pack guys, and they couldn’t get me an
appointment with you! I just want to buy some guns, I swear!”
I stared at him for a moment, making sure my calm and collected exterior
remained and none of my internal thoughts and worries were displayed. His
story was plausible. I didn’t tend to take appointments for new customers – I
had enough business and I was pretty exclusive. It was entirely possible a small
times dealer like this guy obviously was would go through Aro, who would
place a larger order for multiple clients. I slowly lowered myself back into my
chair.
His story fit.
But I didn’t like it.
The sliding door moved.
Ah, fuck no.
Bella stepped out, her bare legs sticking out of the short robe she had wrapped
around her.
It was entirely possible that this guy – whoever he was – would recognize her
for what she was. Or rather, what she was supposed to be. If he had done
business with Aro in the past, he most certainly knew. If he realized she was
not a slave, he was going to be suspicious. If he got suspicious, Bella was in
danger.
And I really, really didn’t want to dig a giant-ass hole for his body.

Aside from that, there was no telling who knew he had come out here to find
me, a group of buddies nearby or not. Having him just disappear without
understanding exactly who he was could be more deadly than killing him now.
If I could convince him we could have a business relationship – which he really
seemed interested in having – I could avoid the whole mess, and keep Bella safe.
But only if she understood that she had to play along.
I looked up to her and our eyes met. I found myself hoping she really could
read my mind like she implied earlier, because I needed her to act like the slave
she was supposed to be. There was only one way I could think of, aside from
actual telepathy, to cue her in on what I needed her to do.
“I don’t recall giving you permission to leave bed,” I snapped at her. My eyes
narrowed and I glared in her direction as her eyes went wide. I placed my gun
in my lap, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. “I thought you were supposed to
come trained already.”
She was going to play along, right?
Chapter 61:
I watched Bella’s eyes as they slowly dropped to the ground. I could see by how
red they were, and I knew she had been crying, but I had to push that out of my
head for now. Her posture changed immediately as she spoke.
“I’m sorry…sir,” she said. I did a little mental happy dance that she was on the
same page as me. She glanced up at Lee and then back at the ground again. “I
didn’t know there was a…a guest.”
“He’s not here to see you,” I said. “Get back to bed.”
“Yes, sir,” she responded. She turned and quickly went back inside, shutting the
door behind her.

I looked back to Lee as I took another long drag, trying to gauge his reaction.
His eyes were still on the closed door, but when he looked back to me he smiled.
“Nice,” he said with a nod.
“She’s all right,” I shrugged. I didn’t want his attention focused on her at all, so
I made a quick subject change. “Now let’s get on with this.”
We spent about a half hour talking about exactly what he wanted, what
quantities, and what he might want in the future. He certainly knew the talk,
which made me think he was more likely to be a legitimate customer, but didn’t
leave me completely trusting him or anything. When everything was worked
out, I walked him back to his car.
“Thanks for talking to me,” Lee said. “And I’m really sorry if I…interrupted
anything. I didn’t really think you’d talk to me tonight. Well, not at all,
honestly. I hoped you would, but I really didn’t mean to interrupt your…
vacation.”
More nervous laughter. Was this guy some kind of gangster fanboy?
“Don’t do it again,” I told him. “You’re lucky I was in a good mood.”
“Yeah…um…well, thanks again.” He held his hand out, and I just looked from
the outstretched fingers back to his face, raising an eyebrow a bit. He dropped
it, nodded, and got into the car. I watched him maneuver back down the gravel
driveway before heading back inside.
I took my jacket off, but brought the gun into the bedroom. Bella was sitting on
the bed with her knees tucked up to her chest, and her arms wrapped around
them. I stopped in my tracks, not knowing what I should do. I wanted to go to
her – try to do something to make her feel better, but I also knew I was the one
who upset her. She may not have wanted anything to do with me.
There was also little time for such things, because we needed to get the hell out
of here. Legit or not, Lee Stephens was a risk, and I wasn’t going to take any
risks when it came to Bella. We needed to leave Germany as soon as possible.
Tonight. Now.

“Who was he?”
I looked away and shook my head.
“Doesn’t matter,” I told her. “Just some idiot looking to get his head blown off
if he isn’t more careful. He’s worked with Aro before, though. I didn’t want
him to get…suspicious.”
“I figured.” Her tone was sharp and blunt.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I reflexively tried to run my hand through my hair, hitting
myself in the forehead with the H&K in the process. I grimaced, and Bella
started laughing. I looked up and her and smiled a little, because it was good to
hear her laugh. It only lasted a few second though, when her laughter turned
back into tears. She wiped them away quickly, and I just stood there, not
having any idea what I should do.
“I’m not playing that game again, Edward,” Bella suddenly said.
I grimaced again, and then nodded.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” I tried to explain, but knew it was pointless.
Bella put her forehead down on her knees, and I continued to stand there like
the idiot I was. I had no idea if I should just leave her in peace, which might
very well be what she would prefer, especially since she had already slammed
the door once, or if I could try to offer her some kind of comfort. I wanted to do
the latter, but I didn’t know if I should even go near her.
She looked back up at me, and she looked as lost and scared as she had the first
night – right after her first nightmare. The night she looked at me in horror
after she realized it wasn’t just a dream. The acid reflux came back with a
vengeance, and I started to wonder if that’s really what is was. The next thing I
knew I was in the bed with her in my arms.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I said softly as I held her against my chest. “I didn’t
want him to be suspicious…I didn’t know you were going to come out…I
couldn’t think fast enough…”

I closed my eyes tight and breathed in the scent of her hair.
“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m sorry.”
Bella’s arms went around my neck, and she held on to me tightly. She didn’t say
anything, and for the longest time I just held her, rocking back and forth a little
bit. She eventually stopped crying, and I felt her body relax against me as she
sniffled.
“I’m so tired,” she whispered, and I took that as my cue to lay her down against
the pillows. I started off lying beside her, still holding her against me, but then I
remembered how pissed she was. I played a little mental tennis between stay or
go, but when that stupid 80’s song started bopping around in my head in time to
the tennis balls, I had to stop thinking and just ask her.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked.
“No!” she yelled, and her grip on me tightened. “Don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” I promised. I shifted to my side and wrapped one arm around her
shoulders and the other around her waist, holding her as close to me as I could.
“I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
I would be, too. As long as she’d let me, I would be right here beside her. No
matter what else happened, I wouldn’t leave her unless she told me to.
At least I had a purpose, right?
Chapter 62:
The muscles in my arms tightened, bringing her closer to my chest. I listened to

her sigh, and felt her warm breath against my skin. I kept my eyes closed, just
holding her until she decided she didn’t need me anymore. She wouldn’t need

me – not much longer, anyway. Another ten days and we would likely be able
to return to the States. I would be able to take her home.
No, I wouldn’t.
I would have to have someone else take her home. How would Daddy Cop
react if he saw me bringing his long-lost daughter home to him? I had a pretty
good idea, and only really wondered if he’d shoot off my balls first or go straight
for the kill.
Bella’s head moved, and I opened my eyes to find her looking at me. My chest
tightened up again, and I had to force myself to swallow, though it still felt like
there was something lodged in my throat. Her eyes were still red, but her tears
had dried on her cheeks, making strands of her hair stick to her skin. I reached
up and pushed the stray hairs from her face, tucking them behind her ear and
out of the way.
Bella glanced down, and her tongue popped out and licked her lower lip. This
served to remind me exactly how her lower lip had tasted, and how it felt when
her tongue was in my mouth.
I swallowed hard again.
Her hand came from around my neck and rested against my jaw. Her fingers
rubbed against the rough stubble on my cheek, reminding me how badly I
needed to shave. Her touch was also reminding me about earlier in the evening,
what she had wanted, and what she had said when I refused her.
Her eyes were on mine, and I felt the gentle pressure of her hand on my face,
pulling me closer to her. As much as I knew it was the wrong thing to do, I
moved with her touch until my lips were against hers, slowly kissing her wile I
held her close to me. I tilted my head slightly trying to get closer…to taste more
of her. I wanted more of her…all of her…anything she would be willing to give
me.
My breathing was coming far too fast, and I was overwhelmed. I didn’t
understand anything I was feeling, and thoughts just weren’t all that

forthcoming. Whatever thoughts I did have just conflicted with what I was
feeling. The vast majority of me just wanted to lay back and do whatever she
wanted, because my whole body was just drawn closer to her the more we
touched – the more we kissed. I had never really spent time kissing a woman
before – it was only a prelude to getting off. But this…this I could do all night.
I still didn’t understand her reasoning, and as much as that part of me wanted to
just say “fuck it” and go with whatever the hell was happening here, there was
the other, albeit smaller part that wanted answers. Needed answers. As much
as it was physically painful to do so, I pulled back from her, kissing her lips
softly just a couple more times before I looked into her eyes.
“Why?” I asked softly, just trying to make some kind of sense out of any of this,
and figuring it was a hopeless task. I knew why I wanted her – it was far too
obvious – but I didn’t understand why she wanted me. Not at all.
“Why what?”
“Why…how can you…want this?”
The backs of her fingers brushed my cheekbone. She brought her mouth back
to touch me briefly, gently running her lips over mine. I let my hand glide down
her side until it rested on her hip.
“Because I can see the man inside of you,” she whispered back. “He’s not what
he tries to show everyone else. He’s not even what he thinks he is. He wasn’t
trying to do anything…evil.”
Even as I kissed her again, I didn’t believe her.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said with my lips still against hers. “I can’t
make up for what I’ve done to you.”
“But you have tried,” she responded. Her fingers twisted into my hair and she
pulled me hard against her mouth. I felt her tongue on my lips, and I welcomed
it…craved it…longed for it.
I would never be able to refuse her again. It just wouldn’t be possible.

“I know what you really wanted,” she told me.
I felt that lump in my throat again.
“I wanted sex.”
“No, you didn’t, Edward,” she corrected me. “That’s not what you wanted at
all.”
“It isn’t?”
She slowly shook her head from one side to the other.
“You wanted someone to stay with you,” she said. “You wanted someone you
could trust – who you knew wouldn’t leave. That’s not a bad thing to want,
Edward. You just didn’t know how to find that without doing something
stupid.”
I couldn’t argue with the last part, but I narrowed my eyes a little. This was not
something I wanted to think about, not even inside of my own head. Yeah, I
was tired of girlfriends getting sick of me and bailing, but that wasn’t why I did
this. I just…I just didn’t want to…to…I wanted sex, and I didn’t want to have
to…to…
Fuck it. I had no fucking idea anymore.
Besides, we weren’t supposed to be talking about me here. I didn’t want to

think about my reasons for shit – I knew why I wanted her. She was beautiful
and soft, and she made me stop smoking for a while to get more Asian noodles.
When she smiled or laughed, it made me want to smile and laugh, too. When
she cried, I wanted to make her feel better.
But I was responsible for her tears, and I couldn’t reconcile that in my head
with her gentle touches over my face and shoulders.
“I don’t understand,” I admitted. I just couldn’t leave it alone – I needed…

something. Answers? I didn’t really know. Justification, maybe. My hand
stroked against her cheek, and I loved how soft she felt against my skin. “How

can you…want this? With me…with anyone? After everything that’s
happened. How?”
She was silent for a moment, looking down and away from me as she finally
spoke, her voice trembling.
“I don’t want what…what we did before. What they did to me.”
Her eyes flashed quickly back to me.
“I will never, ever do that again!” Her voice was still quiet, but full of all the
hate and venom I would have expected. She took a deep, stuttering breath. “I
won’t do that again.”
I had no doubt what she meant. Part of me wanted to ask her just how often –
how many times she had been forced to perform orally until she got it “right,”
but I really didn’t think I could handle the answer. Actually, I was completely
sure I couldn’t handle it. Just thinking about it made me nauseous.
How did she even cope?
I took her face in both of my hands.
“I would never ask you to,” I told her. “Never.”
She looked up at me and studied my face. Maybe she was trying to decide if I
meant it or not, and I could only hope she would believe me. Finally, she
nodded.
“Good.” Her forehead dropped back to my chest, and I held her close again.
I held her again while my head spun in a complete circle a couple of dozen
times. I was so fucking confused, I would have been hard pressed to try to put
my feet on the floor and not end up on the ceiling.
“I won’t do that again,” Bella repeated with her head still tucked against me.
“But it’s not the same thing. I don’t want that…I want something else.”
“I know,” I answered. “But it still…doesn’t seem right.”
She should hate me, not want me.

“We’re married, aren’t we?” Bella suddenly asked.
“Yeah, I guess we are.” I gave her one of my championship shrugs.

“Technically.”
“But we didn’t have a normal wedding night.”
“Not…really.” How was I supposed to argue with that? Straight from the
chapel to the killing fields, then jump on a plane to go into hiding on another
continent? Happy wedding day to you! Yeah, there were easily a dozen other
marriages that happened just like that in the same week. Not.
“Maybe it’s a girl thing,” Bella said with a slight smile. “You get this idea in
your head about what it will be like. I guess life is never quite like your
dreams.”
I knew what she meant. I’d turned her dreams into nightmares. Again, I
wanted to take it all back, and again I was powerless to do so. I could not
change the past, and I couldn’t clear her mind of what she had suffered.
“What did you think it would be like?” I asked.
“What?”
“Your wedding night.”
“Oh.” Bella danced the tips of her fingers over my chest. “Not being dragged
across the Atlantic for a murder spree, and then spending hours in a train car,
that’s for sure!”
I recoiled a bit, and then glanced back at her. There were tears in her eyes for
the hundredth time. Like a total moron, I went and opened my mouth again.
“I’ll give you whatever kind you want.”
She looked to me as she wiped the back of her hand over her cheek.
“Whatever kind of what?” she asked.
“Wedding night,” I said. “I know it’s a little belated, but I’ll give it to you.”

Her eyes widened and then narrowed in thought. My heart was beating faster
than I ever recalled it doing before, and I opened my mouth to take it all back –
try to pass it off as some kind of bad joke – but that’s not what came out of my
mouth at all.
“I’ll stay with you, if that’s what you want,” I told her. “Or I can go sleep on the
couch if you want to be alone. Or I’ll…I’ll give you a real wedding night.”
“What does that mean?”
Even as the words were trying to leave my mouth, I knew they were going to be
about as dumb as trying to spread peanut butter on Wonder bread with the flat
end of one of those big-ass screwdrivers everyone always has in their garage,
even though no one ever has any screws that are big enough to be screwed with
that sized driver. It would make a damn big mess, though – wouldn’t it? Kind
of like what usually comes out of my mouth.
“I’ll make love to you, if that’s what you want,” I said.
My throat tightened up, but self-strangulation was to come way too late.
Bella turned her head to look up at me again. For the longest time she just
stared, until I was starting to feel like that guy in the human zoo from Slaughter
House Five. I wondered if there was any way I could do a little time-jumping
around and maybe take some of the shit I spewed back into my mouth. It didn’t
work in that book, though, so I guess I was screwed.
“Do you even know how to make love?” she asked.
I closed my eyes and paused while I tried to find a way to remain silent. I had
no idea how to answer her. My skin started to feel too tight for my insides, and
there was this weird pressure behind my eyes, and I didn’t know what to make
of it. Finally I opened them again, and just went with what was as close to truth
as I could muster.
“I don’t know,” I told her. “I’ve never tried.”
The backs of her fingers stroked my face again.

“So it would be a first for you, too?” Her voice was so quiet I could hardly hear
her.
“Yeah.” My voice was nothing more than breath through my lips.
If she really wanted it, it was okay, right?
Chapter 63:
For the longest time, we just looked at each other. I contemplated the phrase
making love, and wondered if I was even capable of doing such a thing. I knew
fucking, but I hadn’t watched enough chick flicks to understand how they were
different. Bella would know, though, but I didn’t want to ask her. I wanted
to…prove I could do it. For her.
So what made it different?

It should be slow, I figured. And it should be someplace nice, and someplace
where she was safe, and I didn’t have to worry about someone showing up in
the middle of the night.
Lee.
Shit.
“Bella, we have to get out of here,” I said.
“Why?”
“That guy who was here – he was probably just a customer, but having anyone
know where you are isn’t safe. We need to get out of here.”
“Now?”
“Now.”
I leaned in and brushed my lips over hers once again.
“I will give you the wedding night you want,” I promised her. “I’ll make it good
– I swear I will. Just not now and not here.”
Bella’s eyes studied mine for a minute before she nodded. I dragged us both out
of the bed and started throwing shit into the suitcases we had brought. I
watched Bella carefully tuck the little castle snow globe in a nest she made out
of one of her shirts. She also packed what looked like a white shirt box into her
bag. I remembered it from the hotel in Paris, but hadn’t thought to ask about it.
“What’s in there?”
Bella smiled and bit down on her lip.
“You’ll see,” she responded cryptically.
I narrowed my eyes at her, but didn’t really have the time to get into it. Maybe
I’d ask again once we were in the car. I threw the rest of my stuff in my bag,
holstered my gun under my jacket and started putting things in the car. Bella
followed me out with her bag, and we headed down the driveway in the dark.
Once I got to the main road, I looked around and didn’t see any more cars,

which made sense at four in the morning. I pulled out and headed towards the
train station.
Within about two minutes, I saw a car behind me.
I’d been going at a pretty decent clip, and they would have had to be going
faster to have caught up with me, but once they were in my sights, they stayed
about the same distance behind me. Not good. I grabbed the phone and called
Rosalie.
“I just got out of the shower and I’m going to bed,” she quipped over the phone.
“I’m getting Bella out of here,” I told her. “We had a visitor, and now I’ve got a
trailer.”
I told her about Lee Stephens, and she agreed she had never heard the name
before. She yelled to Emmett to contact Harry Clearwater and see if he really
knew him or not.
“I need the train schedules for Dilsberg,” I told Rose. “Whatever one will get us
out of Germany the fastest.”
I looked back behind me. The headlights were still in plain view – no closer, no
farther away.
“Make that two trains heading to two different countries.”
Rose gave me the info, which I repeated to Bella and she wrote down.
“I’ll get the tickets ordered for you,” Rose told me. “Once we hear back from
Harry or Seth I’ll call you back.”
She hung up, and I increased my speed. The headlights went out of view, but
only for a minute before they were back again.
“What do we do?” Bella asked, sounding a little panicked. I reached over and
grabbed her hand. Her fingers wrapped around mine.
“We get on one train, hope whoever is behind us gets on it, too, then we get off
and get on the second one instead. We’ll have to move fast.”

I saw her nod in my peripheral vision. I sped up again, and we were rally flying
now, but the car remained the same distance away from us. I slowed down, and
they didn’t get any closer. We rode in silence the short distance to the Dilsberg
train station, and I parked the car right up by the front door, where we
abandoned it. The other car passed us up, turning slowly into the parking lot.
“Come on,” I said as I took Bella’s hand and dragged her through the station. I
bought both sets of tickets, using some of my more colorful German words
when the guy in the booth asked why I was getting tickets to two countries on
trains that were leaving five minutes apart. He backed down, gave me the
tickets, and we headed towards the platforms next to the lines of trains.
I scouted out the train that left second and would head to Switzerland, finding it
already waiting four platforms away from the first train, which would take
passengers to Lichtenstein. We had about twenty minutes until the first one
was scheduled to take off, so I walked Bella slowly up and down random
platforms – watching for anyone who might have been following us.
He wasn’t hard to find. There weren’t a huge number of passengers looking for
transportation at this time of night, and he stood out just because he wasn’t
looking around at train schedules or even carrying a bag. Amateur.
It wasn’t Stephens, because he was way too short and lanky. I considered
finding a place to just off him before we left, but there really wasn’t time. I
doubted he was going to actually follow me into a men’s room anyway. I led
Bella to the train heading for Lichtenstein, and we boarded at the very front of
the train, which was the farthest from the station, and then began walking
slowly down the cars until we reached the back. The guy was still behind us,
leaning over the edge and smoking a cigarette, but watching us closely.
Damn, I wanted a cigarette.
We stopped at the second to last car, standing just outside the little siding door
to the area when you could sit and relax. Yeah, we were doing a lot of relaxing
right now. Bella hadn’t said anything, but she knew I was watching the guy,
and she kept twisting her fingers around themselves and biting her lip. I leaned

over and kissed her lightly, whispering that it would be all right, even though I
knew it wasn’t the very best of circumstances.
The conductor announced that the train was leaving.
I grabbed Bella’s hand and raced to the edge and the stairs that led off the train
and back onto the platform. I glanced behind me and saw the guy toss his
cigarette down and start running towards us. With Bella’s hand in mine, we
jumped from the train just as it started to move, landing on the platform below
just as the conductor started yelling at us. Bella stumbled, and I had to drop the
bag I was carrying to keep her from falling. I looked over my shoulder and saw
our trailer arguing with the conductor, who was holding him back as the train
began to leave. He shoved the conductor hard, and I started to run, leaving the
bag behind me with all mishit in it, mentally taking note of what was inside and
figuring none of it really mattered.
We raced up the platform to the middle of the station, over to the platform of
the train for Switzerland, and got to the first car just as the conductor was
starting to shut the gate.
It was all going to be good now, right?

Chapter 64
I made my third pass around the train, and I still didn’t see any sign of the guy
who had been following us before, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think he
couldn’t have any friends. We changed trains when we stopped in Stuttgart and
headed to Luxembourg. We bought multiple tickets again there, and switched
again at the last possible minute to head back to Paris.
I had to practically carry Bella to the train car, she was so tired. It was
afternoon, and we hadn’t slept all night. As soon as we entered the private car, I
shut the door, pulled the shade down to block out the sun, and let her lay down
on the seat with her head in my lap. She was out about thirty seconds later,
leaving me to think.
I was doing a lot of thinking lately, and I didn’t like it. Not at all.
I kept thinking about some of the things Bella has said about me and trying to
wrap my head around them. I didn’t want to just tell her she was wrong, but I
was pretty sure all I had really wanted was sex, because jerking off sucks and I
was tired of having to deal girlfriends who were expecting more from me. I
never wanted more. I didn’t want to take women out to movies and dinner and
shit like that. There was no interest on my part to go tour a fucking museum or
go watch some concert with a woman. I didn’t have any desire to walk in the
park or go dancing.
I ran my hand over Bella’s shoulder, and she sighed in her sleep. I remembered
dancing with her…well, if you could call what we were doing dancing. I
recalled how she felt in my arms, and wondered if I would take her somewhere
where there was actual music to go with it. Of course, I didn’t really know how
to dance, but I might be willing to just hold her and sway around a bit again,
even though I would look like an idiot in the process.
Maybe if I just got some decent music in a hotel room, it would be good enough.
I sucked at this.

Emmett called, and I answered quickly and quietly so it wouldn’t wake up
Bella.
“Harry said he’s never heard of the guy,” Emmett told me. “Seth either. We’re
looking for the name, but so far we got nothing. Probably not his real name at
all. Got a picture?”
“It was dark,” I told him, “but you might be able to get an image off the security
cameras.”
“I’ll get Rose on it.”
“Thanks.”
“She wants to talk to you.”
“How is Bella?” Rosalie asked.
“Sleeping.”
“Not what is she doing, how is she doing, you idiot.”
“I don’t know,” I answered. How was I supposed to answer that?
“Tell her to hang in there – she won’t have to put up with you much longer. Let
her know we’re close on the chip. Maybe another week.”
“Okay.” I hung up.
Another week. Still four days past her birthday, but at least it was close. Bella
rolled slightly, and I had to keep hold of her so she didn’t fall off the bench all
together. She didn’t wake up, and I was glad. She needed the rest. I put my
head back and closed my eyes for a minute.
One more week, and Bella could go back to her family and I could go back to
my business. As much as I wanted her to be with her family again, I hated the
idea. I didn’t want her to be nearly a whole freaking continent away from me.
I wondered what it would take to relocate to Seattle or something. I started
mentally listing all the crime businesses in the area, thought about some of the

names and wondered who I would have to fuck up to make it happen. The list
in my head wasn’t bad, at least. I’d have to do a little more research.
Research.
I pulled my phone back out, went to Google, typed in “being romantic” and hit
the search key.
There was a freaking “wiki” on it. When I was done reading it, I felt like I
knew even less than I did before I looked.
I tried another one.
It didn’t help.
Frustrated, I tossed the phone on to the bench and closed my eyes again.
Everything seemed to be assuming you were in a real relationship, not that you
had recently married your ex-master and were now hiding from unknown
villains as you traipsed across Europe.
I picked the phone back up and Googled that, but nothing that came up made
any sense at all. One was about vampires in books, and another about Nazis.
Yeah, not working. I sighed, wanted to just say fuck it and forget the whole
thing, but then I looked down at the girl in my lap. For once, I wanted to do
something the right way. I wanted to give her the wedding night she dreamed
about, sex or not. I wanted to make her feel wanted…cared for…lo-
No…fuck, no. I couldn’t think like that. It was far too fucking wrong. Still, I
wanted to do something for her. At least get a decent hotel room and maybe
some flowers and Champaign. That seemed so trite though, and I didn’t want
her to be disappointed because it was kind of boring romantic, either. On the
other hand, we’d had a little too much excitement lately.
Maybe boring was the way to go, right?

Chapter 65:
Bella was still pretty groggy when we got to Paris. I half walked/half carried
her into the lobby and sat her down in an overstuffed chair while I checked in.
The hotel I had chosen was just down the street from the Eiffel Tower. I
remembered how she had looked at it when we were here before, and I asked
for a room with a good view of it. At first, the lady at the desk tried to
discourage me – those rooms were expensive. Once I set her straight on that
deal by handing her my shiny black credit card, we got the pick of the entire
hotel.
When we walked into the room, Bella was instantly awake.
The hotel had an odd, triangular shape to it – very modern for the rest of the
area we were in. Our room was on one on the angles, and as you walked in, the
suite doors opened into the bedroom, which was two whole walls of glass,
meeting at an angle on the far side. The bed was in the center, and the lights of
Paris were shining through the windows and making the whole room glow with
light.
The view of the tower was nothing short of spectacular.
Bella went to the window and looked out at the giant landmark with the light
from the setting sun making it glow in the distance. I ran my hand through my
hair and just watched her as she marveled over it. She turned back to me and
her eyes were glowing. My heart started to beat faster, which was really
starting to make me wonder if I didn’t need a complete physical once all this was
over.
“It’s beautiful,” Bella said. She walked back over to me and tossed her arms
casually around my neck. It felt…weird. Good weird. Like they were
supposed to be there, but since nothing else was ever supposed to be there
before…well, I didn’t understand it, but I liked it.

I put my arms around her waist and gave me a half smile. I tried not to focus on
her lips too much, though I really did want to kiss her again. I was also kind of
wondering if she hadn’t wised up on the trip over here, and would maybe tell
me she didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.
Actually, I kind of waited for her to tell me that about every thirty seconds or
so.
Maybe she wouldn’t say anything. Maybe I’d just come back from getting ice
or something and she just wouldn’t be here anymore. For some reason, I
remembered my mother fiddling around with the rabbit ears on top of the
television in the trailer the day I went to school in the morning, and when I
came back that afternoon she gone. She didn’t say anything to me as I got my
book bag and walked to the bus stop, but I remembered her yelling at the TV.
It was the last time I saw her.
“Why do you look so sad?” Bella suddenly asked.
“I’m not,” I replied.
“What were you thinking about?”
“Um…my mom, I guess,” I said with a shrug.
“What about her?”
“Nothing, really.”
That answer apparently wasn’t good enough, because she kept on me until I
told her more.
“I was just thinking about the day they left,” I finally admitted.
“Why?” Bella asked. “What did she say?”
“Nothing,” I told her. “She was trying to get the TV to work. She didn’t say
anything to me.”

“Did you ever see her again?” Bella’s eyes had narrowed and her brow was all
furrowed up. She looked like she was upset, and I didn’t want her feeling that
way. Not about me. It just wasn’t worth it.
“I didn’t have to share the TV all afternoon,” I said with a smile. Bella did not
return the smile, but instead, her hand reached up and brushed over my cheek.
“There was something wrong with her, Edward,” Bella said softly. “Not you.
You were just a kid. Moms aren’t’ supposed to be like that.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything. I never really
noticed anything wrong with her. It was just a shit situation – we didn’t have
any money or anything, so she did what she could, I guess. That’s why I
started running guns in the first place – the money was fucking incredible. It
still was.
I kind of wondered if I had gotten a job before they left and brought in some
money…well...maybe they wouldn’t have gone.
Bella’s eyes dropped down to my lips, and a moment later she had risen up on
her toes to reach me. I let her tongue run over mine as my hand ran up her
back, holding her close to me. We stood there for a moment, just kissing gently
and holding each other. It was strange, like Bella throwing her arms around me
was strange. I had just never done something like this – just kissed. I never
would have even considered it before.
Before her.
Her arms slid down to my shoulders and she pulled at me until her she sat back
on the bed. She looked up at me and smiled the most incredible smile I had ever
seen. It was beautiful, and sexy, and lovely, and just…just…joyous.
I crawled into the bed after her, crawling up her body as she lay backwards on
the bed. My mouth found hers again, and she tangled her fingers in my hair
and pulled me close to her.
I knew it wasn’t right.

I knew it wasn’t good.
But I really, really wanted it, right?
Chapter 66
The sweet taste of her mouth and the feeling of her fingers tangled in my hair
were my sole points of focus. Everything about the guy following us, the all day
trip through multiple countries, and the subsequent paranoia over who Lee
Stephens might really be was forgotten. Bella was the only thing in my world.
Again, I had to wonder why I had never really considered just kissing to be all
that interesting. I did it, since the women I had been with seemed to want it,
but it was only the means to an end – not something to be enjoyed in its own
right.
But with Bella, everything was different.

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, licking along its edge before releasing it
and moving to her chin, down her throat, and to the little indentation at the
bottom of her neck. I kissed her there, licked her, and then moved over to her
shoulder.
Bella’s grip in my hair guided me back to her mouth, where I went happily.
As I kissed her, I could feel her hands running up my arms, over my shoulders,
down my back, and back around to my chest. I loved the feeling of her hands
on me. Her touch was so soft and gentle, and I almost couldn’t feel it through
my shirt. I wanted to take the damn thing off, and immediately started second
guessing myself on how good of an idea that was.
She wanted me. I could feel it. Other women had wanted to have sex with me
because I was attractive or rich or whatever, but this didn’t feel the same.
I wanted her. Well…no shit.
I pulled away from her a bit and looked down at her. Her hands roamed up my
sides and over my face. She pulled my face back down to hers, and I felt the
edge of her teeth catch hold of my lip, which made me moan.
She giggled, tilted my head with her hands, and kissed up the side of my jaw.
Once she got to my ear, she made her way back down my neck, and kissed my
Adam’s apple.
I opened my eyes and looked down to her, trying to figure out why she was so
blurry.
“Edward?” Bella’s eyes narrowed at me. “Are you all right?”
I tried to answer, but my words became all garbled. I rolled to my side and
wrapped my arms around her to pull her to my chest. She smelled good.
“Edward.” Bella’s voice change a little. She sounded like she was…scolding
me? “Did you sleep on the trains at all?”

“No,” I managed to mumble back. Now that she had said the word sleep, I had
a pretty good idea what was wrong with me. It’s like it was a magic word, and
just her utterance was enough to put me out. “Had to…watch.”
“You look like you are going to pass out,” Bella said.
I was going to argue with her, but my head had gone all fuzzy, along with my
logic. It was also getting harder to open my eyes, even though looking at her
was definitely something I wanted to do. Some little, still working part of my
brain told me I hadn’t been to sleep in over forty eight hours, and then insisted I
go find a Starbucks. I wasn’t so sure that was a good idea.
I felt Bella’s hand on my face, slowly stroking the ends of her fingers from the
top of my head, along my hairline, down over my jaw, and then back again. She
repeated te movement, and I could feel myself smile a little.
“That feels good,” I told her. My speech was all garbled, and I wondered if she
could even understand what I was saying.
“Go to sleep, Edward,” Bella whispered back to me. I felt her lips against my
forehead, and then her hand was gone.
“Don’t stop,” I frowned. I managed to

open my eyes just a crack, but then
they closed again.
“Don’t stop what?” Bella asked.
It was harder to speak coherently than

it was to move, so my hand grabbed for
her hand and placed it against my face
again. I rolled against her, tucking my
head into the space between her neck
and shoulder. I heard Bella laugh
quietly, but her fingers began to stroke my face again, so I was happy.
It was okay to be happy for a minute, right?

Chapter 67:
It felt like my brain was vibrating. I didn’t think I had ever gone so long without
sleep, and I would have expected it to happen faster, but I didn’t just drop into
unconsciousness like you would think. I just lay next to Bella concentrating on
the scent of her neck and the feeling of her hand on my face.
When her voice floated into my ears, I figured I must have fallen asleep. Her
soft words felt like they were caressing my neck and jaw on their way up to my
ears.
“I don’t know what to think of you sometimes,” I heard her say. “You must be
the most bizarre man to ever live. You’ve done simply horrible things, but
inside it all it’s like you are just a little child looking for his mommy. Why aren’t
you angry with them? They left you with nothing, but it doesn’t even occur to
you that what they did was wrong. Even when they were there, it doesn’t sound
like you were ever given what you needed when you were little.”
The backs of her fingers ran over my neck. The tingling in my skin seemed to
match the tingling in my brain. Everything felt warm.
“You don’t even know what you are missing. I don’t think you have any idea
what it is like to care for someone, or to have someone care for you. You
wouldn’t even know it if it was happening. You don’t know it when it’s
happening. No wonder you thought you had to buy yourself someone to be
with you.”
“I want to hate you.” Her voice was so soft in my dream, I could barely hear
her. Even though the sound was muted, the words still slammed into me like a
wrecking ball. “And I did, at first, but then I just thought you were the lesser of
the evils in front of me. Once I understood…really understood that you all but
hand-picked me…”
Under my cheek I could feel her take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I hated you again.” Her hand stopped moving on my cheek, and then it was
gone from my skin entirely. “If my mom had…if she had died...I would have
killed you in your sleep the first chance I had.”
My dream had certainly turned nightmare, but there didn’t seem to be any way
out of it. Just like Bella had no way out of her nightmare…it would always be
there, lurking in the back. It didn’t matter if I could return her to the normalcy
of her parents and her school friends; it would always haunt her existence.
“You look so peaceful when you are sleeping,” she said, and the strange dream
took on yet another tone. Her fingers started running over my face again, and I
hoped this meant the nightmare was over. “So much younger and…I don’t
know…different. Like maybe this is how you were supposed to be – the way
you would have been if you had been raised right. You are beautiful like this.”
I heard her sigh.
“I always thought you were the most attractive man I had ever seen. It didn’t
matter – not at first. You were still ugly to me then. But now…after everything
you are trying to do for me…even though you know there’s nothing you can
really do to make it right…it’s different now. Somewhere inside of you is
someone who could be caring and loving, if he only knew what it meant. When
I look at you now, I think maybe you really could be beautiful.”
“Bella…” I tried to get some words out, but like most dreams, I couldn’t make
myself do what I wanted to do. Her name came out as a breathy, sleep-filed
whisper, and nothing more. I tightened my grip around her waist, holding her
close to me.
“Shh…” I felt her hand cupping my cheek and her lips against my forehead
again. “Don’t wake up…shh…sleep now.”
As she said the word sleep this time, I felt my mind letting go, and I slowly
drifted completely out of consciousness, with no more dreams to interrupt my
rest.
It was all just a dream, right?

Chapter 68
I sat against the wall by the bed, my knees drawn up close to my chest, cigarette
dangling from my fingers, and generally feeling wretched.
Nothing like a little realism to completely destroy what I thought had been a
pretty nice evening.
We’d had dinner in the hotel restaurant because I didn’t want to venture out in
the open. Bella had protested a little, but eventually gave in for the same of her
safety and my sanity. She wanted to see the sights of Paris, but I needed a little
more intelligence gathered on my late night visitor and at least one, mostly
incompetent stalker.
Dinner went well, all things considered.
I drank a little too much, which probably didn’t help the rest of the evening.
Bella didn’t drink anything, which probably didn’t help the rest of the evening,
either.
I might have admitted to myself later that I was brooding a bit. I had promised
Bella a wedding night, and I had no idea what that should entail. I thought I’d
get someone at the hotel to help me come up with ideas and whatever of shit to
do, but I overslept.
Maybe if I had gotten my shit together that night it would have gone better.
Probably not.
“I’m glad we came back to Paris,” Bella said as she swirled a spoon around in
her dessert. “I just hope you’ll at least let us get out a little bit.”
“I will,” I said, hoping I could keep my promise. I took a swig of my…

fourth?...fifth?...scotch. “We should have the rest of the information we need
sometime tomorrow.”
“Perfect!” Bella smiled. “Then you can take me out for my birthday.”

Shit. I had forgotten about her birthday.
“It’s tomorrow?” I asked. I felt my hand tugging at the ends of my hair.
“The day after,” she corrected. She raised an eyebrow as she peered over her
glass at me.
Oh good…some time to prepare…um…something. A cake? Did they even

make birthday cakes in Europe? Fuck if I knew. There was only one thing she
really wanted, and I couldn’t give it to her.
“Sorry I couldn’t get you back to your family by then,” I told her, then
immediately regretted mentioning it. Bella’s eyes dropped to the table.
“It’s all right,” she said in a voice that made it damn clear it wasn’t right at all. “I
do wish you would let me call them, though.”
“No way,” I said. “Not until it’s time for you to go home.”
“What difference does it make, Edward?” Bella’s eyes glanced up at mine. “If I
could just tell them I’m okay, then they wouldn’t spend my whole birthday
wondering if I’m dead. I could just tell them not to worry…and that I’ll be
home soon. Edward, please.”
Do not look up at puppy dog eyes…do not look up at puppy dog eyes…
“No,” I repeated. I couldn’t look at her, because the look that was bound to be
in her eyes would tear me up. I wanted to give her what she desired, but I
couldn’t give her that. It wouldn’t be safe for either of us. I took a deep breath
and tried to change the subject. I clinked my scotch glass against her water.
“Here’s to the few short days we have left,” I said stoically.
“We’ll still be able to see each other afterwards, Edward,” Bella said with a little
smile that did not touch her eyes. She was obviously a little pissed about the
phone call thing, but we had that conversation at least once a day.

“Yeah, sure we will,” I mumbled. I slipped enough to cover the bill and tip and
started to stand. My legs were a little shaky, and walking was not my forte at
that precise moment. “We should go back to the room.”
Bella stood as well, dropping her napkin down on her plate.
“Why can’t I call?” Bella continued to push as we entered the elevator and
listened to the hum as it rose into the air. “I won’t tell them where we are, just
let them know I’m okay, and…”
“No!” I finally yelled. I was sick of the whole conversation.
“Why not?” she yelled right back at me.
“Because I really don’t relish the idea of Cop Daddy showing up here!”
Bella’s face went pale.
I stomped out of the elevator and down the hall to the last room. When I
opened it, the Eiffel Tower lights were sparkling in the darkness. I heard Bella
walk in behind me and the click of the door as it shut.
“You didn’t tell me you knew,” she said softly.
“You didn’t tell me your dad was a cop,” I turned and quipped at her. My head
was definitely fuzzy.
“What difference does it make if you already know?” she snapped back.
“So you were intentionally keeping it from me,” I challenged. Again, this was
very likely the single malt talking here. Fuzzy-schmuzzy. I was drunk.
“Are you saying that you thought I was keeping it from you, and you turned
around and kept it from me, too?”
Something about the overly serious look on her face – or again, the single malt –
made me laugh. I stumbled a little, too, but mostly I laughed.
“Pot, meet kettle!” I said with a smile, pointed first at her, then at myself. I was
feeling warm and snarky, and pretty sure I was making a damn funny joke,

regardless of the look on Bella’s face. “Kettle, meet pot! Pot, kettle…kettle
pot!”
More laughing. I was kind of waiting for her to join me, but she didn’t.
“Do you think,” I was definitely slurring at this point, “when he meets me, your
dad will want to shoot me straight in the face, or will he prefer to blow my balls
off first?”
I laughed again.
Then I tried to figure out why the side of my face was stinging so bad.
And next, I tried to figure out why Bella had tears in her eyes, and then why she
was locked in the bathroom.
It all happened so quick, and even when I kind of came to my senses – either
from the slap across the face or from the slam of the bathroom door, I wasn’t
sure – I still didn’t really understand what had just transpired.
Visions of a half dozen women walking out on me after a apparent fight that I
didn’t understand was happening danced through my head. Kate walking out of
my office, Jessica walking out in the middle of a restaurant, Tanya leaving me
on the dance floor at the fucking prom.
I’d fucked it up.
I didn’t know what I had done, but I had definitely fucked it up.
She was going to go.
She was going to leave me.
I was going to be alone again.
And unlike the other times, the thought wasn’t just bringing me back to a state
of normalcy. This time the very idea crushed down on my chest and I felt like I
was drowning. I couldn’t get enough air, and I started panting just to get
oxygen. Not long after that, I dropped to the floor, unable to keep my feet
underneath me.

Once my little hyperventilation attack was over, I crawled over to this place
next to the bed and started chain smoking.
This was a smoking room, right?
Chapter 70
Shower to get the smoke smell off of me – check.
Extra tooth brushing to get the smoke smell off me – check.
Hefty doses of mouthwash for the same – check.
Room aired out for…um…there’s a theme here, isn’t there? – check.
Leaving my shirt off right before I came to bed at Bella’s request – double-
fucking check.

Okay – so we weren’t actually having make up sex, because we weren’t..well…
having sex…but the term meant something to me for the first time ever.
Emmett had talked about it before, and I had certainly heard the expression on
more than one occasion, but I didn’t really understand it. I guess I’d never
“made up” with someone before.
Bella’s hands were in my hair, then running down my arms and back up over
my chest. Her mouth never left mine, and I was actually starting to wonder if
she was on the swimming team or something, because she could really hold her
breath a long time. I ran my hand over her stomach and held onto her waist
while I kissed her –trying to not be too forceful, though I was feeling a little
more…urgent… as time went by. Well, all right, I was hard as a rock. I kept
pulling back a little with my hips, because I didn’t want to be grinding up
against her. I mean, I did want to, but I wasn’t ready to give her a proper
wedding night now – I needed to prepare first.
My fingers snuck underneath the hem of her shirt just a little – just so I could
feel her skin. Bella pushed me back a bit, and I cringed, sure I had overstepped
whatever boundaries there were. She raised herself up a little then grabbed the
end of her shirt and pulled it up over her head.
“Jesus,” I whispered. I was completely unable to take my eyes away from her
breasts. I’d seen them before – touched them, tasted them – but they seemed
different than I remembered. More beautiful, more symmetrical, more generally
fucking perfect.
Bella’s hands reached for my biceps and pulled me back down over her,
bringing my lips back to hers. My hand went back to her waist, then tentatively
up a little – just farther along her side. Frankly, I was scared shitless to touch
them. Once I did I’d probably lose all sense, and then I’d fucked up my plan for
tomorrow – whatever the hell that was going to be.
Apparently, Bella was going to have none of that, though, because she let go of
my arm, grabbed my hand, and moved it right over the top of her right breast. I
cursed into her mouth, because I couldn’t properly speak with my tongue
running around in there. It was so soft and round, and when I gripped it just a

little she moaned. I ran my thumb over the nipple, feeling it harden with my
touch. Bella’s hands were all over me – up over my shoulders, my back, down
to my stomach. Her fingers tickled over my abs, and between that and the fall
night breeze coming in through the windows, my skin rose up in gooseflesh.
Then her hand abruptly dropped lower.
And it wrapped around my cock.
Oh God…
She stroked it from base to tip, then back again.
And I just about lost my mind.
Not much of a loss, though, right?
Chapter 71
Bella’s hand continued running up and down my lounge-pants covered shaft

while my brain turned into a melted pudding pop. My hand was still against
her breast, and my mouth was still completely engulfed in hers, so I couldn’t
really protest.
Not that I wanted to.
What I wanted to do was roll right over her, shred the sweats she was wearing
and fuck her into tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Bella’s birthday.
“Bella,” I mumbled around her lips. It was really hard to remove myself from
those lips, but I felt like I really, really needed to try. “Bella please…please…
stop.”

She broke away from me and looked up into my eyes, the hurt and confusion
from the other night coming back and tearing into me. I was going to fuck it all
up again. I couldn’t let that happen.
“No!” I cried out, and my hand went immediately from her breast to the side of
her face. “I want you, Bella…Bella I do…I want you so much!”
“Why stop?” she asked.
I take her face in both of my hands and kiss her softly on her lips.
“I will give you your wedding night,” I vowed to her. It wasn’t lost on me that
we hadn’t really had any wedding vows at all – just said a couple of words while
the overworked guy at his desk signed the papers. “I swear I will. But I want
to make it perfect for you. I don’t want to rush into it when you’re probably still
mad at me, at least a little.”
“I’m not,” she insisted with a shake of her head. “I’m ready now, Edward.”
“I’m not ready,” I told her. “You are too important to just do this. I want to…to
make it right. Make it…special?”
Why did I sound like I was asking a fucking question?
“Please, Bella. Please let me make it right for you. I just need a little time.”
Bella pushed me back away from her and sat up. She looked over to the
twinkling lights outside the window and bit at her lip for a minute before
turning back.
“Tomorrow?” she said softly
“Tomorrow,” I agreed.
Bella smiled, but her disappointment still obvious in her expression. I don’t
know why I didn’t occur to me before, but there was still plenty to be done,
even if we weren’t going all the way.
Damnit, I sounded like a fucking teenager.
Of course, Bella was a fucking teenager.

Well, not a fucking one. Not yet anyway.
Shit.
I tugged at my hair for a second to try and refocus myself. If I thought about
this too much…I mean, she really was young. Eighteen to my twenty eight. No
wait – nineteen tomorrow. That made all the difference, didn’t it? At least I
wasn’t a full decade older than her was.
Bella reached down and grabbed her shirt where it lay on top of the blanket. I
put my hand on top of hers, stopping her movement.
“That didn’t mean I was done with you yet,” I told her, and her eyes flashed up
to mine. I slid my fingers up the side of her arm slowly, then across her
shoulder and back down to her breast. So soft… I glanced back up at her as
my thumb grazed her nipple. “I just want to save the rest for tomorrow, you
know?”
“Birthday present?” Bella said as she raised her eyebrows at me.
“Exactly.” I smiled. Looking into her eyes, I took the chance and ran my
thumb back over her nipple again, then pinched it softly. She gasped, and I
covered her mouth with mine as I slowly lowered her back to the bed. I held
myself over her and kissed slowly up her jaw to her ear.
“I still get to give you an early birthday present, don’t I?”
“Hmm…” Bella hummed. “What are you going to give me?”
My hand traveled down her neck and rested on her hip. I knew exactly what I
wanted to give her, but I wasn’t really too sure how to go about saying it. I
knew one thing – I had about a ninety percent chance of saying it wrong. My
best strategy had been to shut the fuck up, but I had to say something here. I
want to shove my fingers in your pussy and make you come while screaming my
name didn’t seem to be the most romantic option.
I looked from my hand back to her face, hoping I was doing the right thing and
not reading her wrong. If she was ready to actually have sex with me, surely

this would be okay. I licked my lips and took a slow breath, blowing warm air
gently over her neck. Bella shivered, and her fingers dug into my biceps. I
moved back down her jaw, over her chin, and then down her neck. I kissed
across her collarbones and nuzzled my nose against the top of her breasts before
I brought my eyes back to hers.
“Can I touch you?” My hand slipped from her hip to her stomach, and my
fingers lifted the edge of her sweats up just a little so they could sneak
underneath.
She would let me do this, right?

Chapter 72
I felt my heart start beating again as Bella slowly nodded her head at me. As my
left hand pushed past the hem of her sweats, my right hand reached back
behind her head, bringing her up towards me so I could keep kissing her. I was
really, really afraid of freaking her out – she hadn’t had a nightmare for several
days, and I didn’t want to do anything that might trigger another one. I had no
idea what all had been done to her while she was with Aro and James, and I
was still too scared to ask her.
I kissed her slowly while my hand delved through the soft hair under her pants,
pushing just two of my fingers farther down, underneath the elastic of her
panties, stroking over her clit. She moaned a little, and I moved down more,
honestly surprised by how much moisture there was to be found there already.
The tips of my fingers ran around the outside of her entrance, just gathering the
wetness there before bringing them back up and slowly circling around her clit.
Bella gasped and her head tilted back, breaking her lips away from mine.
“You like that?” I ask with a bit of a smile. For the first time since she kissed me
in Germany, I felt like I knew what I was doing. This was something I was
good at – at least according to the other women I had known.
“Yes,” she said softly, not looking at me. Her cheeks turned pink, and I cupped
her chin in my hand.
“If I do anything you don’t like, you have to tell me,” I said with more
vehemence than I intended. I took a deep breath. “Tell me if you like what I’m
doing as well, okay?”
“Okay,” she said quietly. Her eyes blinked a few times, and I kept watching
them as I ran my fingers over her again. Her eyes widened, and her mouth
opened just a little as her breath became more shallow and quickened.
I kissed up her jaw again, moving slowly up to her ear. I sucked on the lobe
while my fingers glided over her soft flesh. I felt her hips tip up a little, and

increased the pressure as I touched her clit. She looked absolutely stunning
when I looked up at her face, with her eyes mostly closed. I kissed down to her
shoulder, running my tongue over her warm skin, and then blowing softly until
she shivered.
My hand rocked back and forth, and I took cues from her expression and the
pace of her hips moving against me. One of Bella’s hands gripped my shoulder
while the other laced into my hair. I brought my lips back to her mouth, lightly
tracing her lips with my tongue while my fingers slid up and down.
My middle finger circled her opening, softly running around the moist edge.
Carefully, I slipped it inside just a little ways, and my eyes squeezed tight as I
felt her flesh surrounding it. Bella gasped again, and I had to look up to make
sure she was okay. I’d never been with a virgin – never – and coupling that
with not knowing what they had done to her before…well, apprehension didn’t
even begin to describe what I felt. Thankfully, Bella was there to set me
straight. Her eyes darted over to mine.
“That feels good,” she whispered.
“You sure?”
“Oh yes.”
I nodded and pulled my finger back out, and then pushed it inside of her again,
a little farther this time. I had no idea what I was expecting – an actual,
physical barrier blocking even my finger from going in? I knew she was tight –
no fucking doubt about that – even my finger felt constricted inside of her. I
shifted positions a little, pushing it up farther, and then bringing it back out to
circle around her clit again.
Bella’s hips bucked up against me, effectively pushing my whole hand against
her sensitive flesh.
“You want more of that, baby?” I whispered into her ear. Bella moaned in
response. “You like my finger in you?”

“Oh God…Edward…” Her eyes had gone all wide and wild, and when she
looked at me I couldn’t help but smirk. Definitely a smirk, not a smile. Bella
liked dirty talk. Yeah – I could definitely work with that.
“How does that feel, baby?” I asked her as I slid my finger inside of her, feeling
less resistance this time. “You want more of that, don’t you?”
“Mmmm…hmmm…”
I flicked my tongue over her nipple, and her whole body jumped. She landed
back on the mattress with her head back and her neck arched. Her hips pushed
against my hand, driving my middle finger completely inside of her. Her cheeks
and neck flushed pink, and her chest began to rise and fall as she angled her
hips and started moving faster with me.
So fucking beautiful.
My thumb went to her clit, stroking it and wetting it with her own moisture as
she continued writhe against the bed.
“You feel so good in side.” I licked and sucked at her nipple, then moved to the
other one. “I can’t wait until my cock’s inside of you, stroking you just like my
finger is now.”
“Oh…fuck…Edward…”
“Don’t you say my name until you scream it,” I murmured into her ear before I
went back to her nipples again, biting lightly and humming against them. I
moved my finger all the way in side of her, then back out again before I held it
right next to my index finger, and slowly pushed both in together as my thumb
pushed down against her clit – hard.
Bella’s entire body seemed to react at once. Her hips pushed against my hand,
her back arched, which made her hardened nipples practically stab holes in the
ceiling, and a shudder ran from her body from top to bottom. Her eyes were
closed, her mouth open, and when my name came out of her mouth this time, it
came out as a wail, and my fingers were squeezed together inside of her.

She was the most incredible sight I had ever seen.
Even when her fingernails dug into the flesh on my shoulder, it just felt good.
Pulling my fingers from her, I slowly caressed over her for a minute before
running my hand back up through her short, soft hair, across her stomach and
around to her waist. I pulled her close to me, kissing her shoulder and her neck
as I went. I finally looked up into her glowing eyes.
I finally got something right, right?
Chapter 73:
Bella’s hand finally unclenched my shoulder and ran down my arm. She
wrapped me up in a hug, which I returned wholeheartedly. We kissed softly a
few times – no tongues or anything, just gentle and slow.
“That was really incredible,” Bella said. I looked away from her for a minute,
trying to keep my smirk to a bare minimum, but I couldn’t pretend hearing her
say that didn’t make me want to go stand on the top of that monstrous tower
and scream “Bella Swan came all over my hand!!!”
She probably wouldn’t appreciate the gesture.
“Anytime you like,” I responded instead. I kissed her forehead and squirmed a
little when her fingertips brushed lightly over my sides. Her hand moved to rub
across my stomach before she started heading down again. I grabbed her wrist
and brought her hand back to my hip, placing it there firmly. I shook my head
at her.
“Don’t do that,” I said.
“Shouldn’t I…return the favor?” Bella said quietly.
“No,” I said. I shook my head again. “It’s your early birthday present, not
mine.

How was I supposed to explain that I already owed her one? She’d had my
cock in her mouth and let me come down her throat the very first night I met
her. It seemed like so fucking long ago, and I really didn’t consider that
experience to be anything like what I felt with her now – orgasm or not. Now
that I knew what she had gone through, I wished to God the first night had
never happened. The last thing I wanted to do was remind her of it, though.
“That’s not really…fair…is it?” Bella inquired.
I swallowed hard. I didn’t think this was something I could explain to her. You
can’t exactly come out with your best Andrew Dice Clay impersonation and say
“Yo, bitch – it’s payback for the blowjob.” At the very least, I didn’t want to
bring the shit up at all, because what was happening right at this moment was
pretty good, and I didn’t want to fuck it up. There were probably a dozen
completely unknown to me ways of fucking it up, and since I didn’t know what
they were, I might still do them. This one though – I knew this would fuck it
up. This would fuck it up royally.
Besides, women didn’t seem to find Andrew Dice Clay impersonations very
funny. I was never sure exactly why.
I had to think of something to say to her though, or she was going to push the
issue. I could see the look in her eyes – the one that usually led to her laying it
on the line for me and me giving into whatever she wanted, no matter how
stupid an idea it was. I didn’t think I could go with something quite as lame as
“it’s bedtime,” though. Then I actually had what might have been a brilliant
thought.
Well, at least it didn’t seem to be totally stupid.
“I’m saving myself for our wedding night,” I said with a smile.
Bella laughed and shook her head.
“Okay,” she agreed with a shrug and a furrowed brow. “Are you sure there’s
nothing you want?”

I kept my eyes on hers as I slowly reached out and took her chin in my fingers.
I kissed her one more time, and then my hand traveled slowly over her shoulder,
down her arm, and to her hand, where I could wrap her fingers in mine. I
pulled her hand up in front of my body, held it against my chest for a moment,
and then brought it up to kiss the backs of her knuckles.
With one more look into her eyes, I placed the palm of her hand against my
cheek and released it. I then snuggled my head into that cozy little spot
between her neck and shoulder. I didn’t seem to need to say anything else –
Bella just immediately pushed all my hair back off my forehead and away from
my ear with her fingertips before her hand starting caressing me from my
temple to my chin and back again.
It felt like heaven.
If I was good – sometimes I could have what I wanted, right?

Chapter 74:
Sunday is my favorite day.
On Sundays, I get a bath. Mommy picks me up and carries me into the

bathroom and runs the water, and then she uses the little blue washcloth to
wash me. I have two cups I can use in the tub to pour water back and forth,
and I like watching the water stream from one to the other. When I dump a cup
over my head, she uses her hand to push the water off of my face and away from
my eyes.
I pull open the cabinet underneath the bathroom sink and get the cups and
washcloth before I go into the living room where Mommy is on the couch. I go
to her and hold out the items in my hand.
“Bath?” I ask. She hums, but doesn’t look away from the television. I ask
again, and she stabs her cigarette into the little glass tray on the coffee table. It’s
already full, and some of the stinky leftovers have fallen out. She turns to me.
“What?”
“Bath!” I say again with a smile. She told me once I had a pretty smile. I hold
the cups and the washcloth out again.
“Not now,” she says as she turns back to the television.
I sit down on the floor next to the coffee table and tilt the cups back and forth,
pretending there is water in them to pour. When the show is over, Mommy gets
up and goes to the kitchen. I follow.
“Bath?” I ask again. She glances at me, but says nothing. She pulls a loaf of
bread off the counter and gets the jar of peanut butter from the cabinet. She
makes two sandwiches and hands one of them to me, and then she goes back to
sitting on the couch.
I climb onto the chair in the kitchen and eat my sandwich. It’s dry and sticky,
but I am hungry so I don’t mind. When I’m done, I go back to Mommy again.

“Bath?”
“Geez, Edward!” she snaps. “Can’t I get a minute to myself?”
I look down at the ground for a minute and then back to her, but she’s watching
another show. I sit back down next to the table and push the washcloth into
one of the cups. I try to pour it, but it doesn’t work, not even when I shake it.
“That’s where you were fucking sitting when I left.”
Daddy’s voice startles me as much as the door to the trailer slamming against
the wall. He goes to the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle. As he takes a swig,
his eyes narrow at Mommy.
“I swear to God, Esme, you are so fucking useless.”
“Oh yeah,” Mommy says without looking up. “And Carlisle Cullen is a great
catch, that’s what you are.”
He laughs, but it doesn’t sound friendly. I don’t like it when they talk like this,
and I think if Mommy gave me my bath now, maybe they wouldn’t talk so loud
anymore. I stand up and hold out the cups again.
“Bath?”
“For God’s sakes, Edward!” Mommy yells, and I take a step backwards. “Will
you shut up for two minutes?”
She stands and grabs me by my arms, hauling me up. At first, I’m happy,
thinking she will give me my bath now, but she walks over to the open door and
drops me down outside on the patio. The door shuts as she goes back in, and I
can hear them yelling again.
***
I woke up groggy, disoriented, and feeling a little…off. My muscles were all

tense, and I didn’t know why. I shifted in the bed a little, and felt Bella’s hand
against my neck. I took a deep breath and relaxed back into the mattress a
little. It felt good just lying next to her, and even though I had to pee really

badly, I didn’t want to get up. I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would take me
again, but it didn’t. I finally gave up and wiggled my way out from around her
and went to the bathroom.
When I came back out, I just looked at her for a minute.
Her long hair was all over the pillows, and her arms and legs were splayed out
all over the bed. I smiled a little, realizing if I tried to get back in bed now, there
wasn’t going to be much room for me. I glanced at the clock and saw it was just
a little past two in the morning. It wasn’t really a great time to start the day.
Today.
Bella’s birthday.
I had to make this day a good one, and I had no fucking idea how.
A new panic seized me when I realized I still had no fucking plan what-so-ever.
I didn’t know what to do, and though I might be able to ask the hotel staff to
help me with preparations, I didn’t know what to ask them for, and I didn’t
want to leave Bella alone very long while I got anything accomplished.
I needed help.
Advice.
I didn’t have anyone to turn to.
I thought about Alice or Rosalie, and quickly crossed them off the list. It had to
be a woman, but not either one of them. If they knew what we were planning…
well, I wouldn’t make it to this evening to execute any of it. Execute being the
optimum word. I didn’t know any other women except those I dated.
Fuck.
I took a deep breath, grabbed my phone, and quietly walked out into the
hallway. I didn’t go too far down, so I could still see the door to the room. I
pulled up my contact list and took about five hundred more deep breaths.
This wasn’t going to be easy.

I was out of choices.
I listened to the phone ring a few times, and I was just about convinced she
wouldn’t answer when there was a soft click.
“This ought to be interesting,” the dry voice on the other side of the Atlantic
said.
“Ummm…yeah,” I stammered. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have anyone else to turn
to, and I really, really need your help, Kate.”
She would at least give me some ideas,
Chapter 75:
“You have some nerve,” Kate snapped.

“I’m hanging up now.”
“No! Kate…Kate please,” I begged

her. If she hung up I would be totally
lost. “Please don’t hang up on me. I
need your help…please.”
I heard her sigh into the phone, and her

voice came back strained.
“Just spit it out,” she said.
“I need some…advice,” I finally said quietly. It suddenly hit me how freaking

stupid it was to be calling an ex-girlfriend for advice on wooing the current one,
if she could be called that. What as Bella to me? Ex-slave? Current
girlfriend? Wife? Lover?
Life.
I had no idea what to call her.

“You need advice? From me? Really, Edward? You were never interested in
my opinion about anything at any time – what could you possibly want from me
now?”
How did I even go about telling her what was happening? Spit it out, just like
she said. Well, a slightly modified version, anyway.
“I…met someone,” I started.
“Congrats. Hope you treat her better than you did me.”
“That’s just it,” I said. “I want to make this right…I want to make it special, but
I don’t know how.”
“What?” Kate yelled into the phone. “You are asking me how to help you with
your new fucktoy? Oh my God…”
“She’s not!” I yelled back, and then quickly lowered my voice before I drew
anyone out into the hallway. “It’s not like that…not at all. I want it to be right
this time. I know I screwed everything up in the past – I don’t want to fuck this
up. It’s her birthday, and I want to give her a special night – I just don’t know
what to do. I’m sorry I didn’t do anything right with you, okay? Just tell me
what I can do to make it special for her!”
I waited to hear the click of the disconnected call, but it didn’t come.
“Edward,” Kate’s voice had suddenly turned soft. “You are completely serious,
aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“You’re in love.”
I closed my eyes and thought about her words. I didn’t know how to respond.
“I want it to be right,” I finally said.
“You are,” she replied. “Edward Cullen, capable of love. Who would have
thought it could be true?”
He tone was dry and a little sardonic, but I chose to ignore it.

“It…it doesn’t matter,” I finally whispered into the phone. “I just want to make
it all good…for her. I don’t know what to do Kate. You know I don’t have any
friends, please…please help me?”
“What do you want to know?” Kate said with a sigh.
“How do I make a nice, romantic birthday night for her? What can I do to
show her I mean it?”
“Honestly, Edward,” Kate said, her voice sounding…sad? I wasn’t sure. “I

don’t know if I should feel jealous that you couldn’t feel this way about me or
happy that you are able to feel at all. I had my doubts.”
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you…really, I didn’t.”
“I think I know that now.”
“I don’t think I’m quite right in the head, you know?” I offered a slight laugh.
“Yes, Edward – I got that idea.” I could hear Kate sighing on the other end f
the line.
“She must be pretty special,” she finally said
“She is,” whispered back. “She’s my world…my life.”
There was a pause on the phone that lasted so long, I was afraid the connection
had failed. Then I heard Kate’s voice again.
“I would have been that for you,” she said softly.
I didn’t know how to respond to her. I honestly didn’t realize she ever would
have felt that way, and I certainly didn’t understand why.
“I’m sorry,” I finally responded.
“You’ve apologized three times in the last three minutes,” she said. “Do you
realize you never once apologized for anything ever before? Not the numerous
times I sat waiting in a restaurant for you to arrive, only to find out you forgot
about our date, not the time you stopped having sex with me to answer the

phone and then abruptly left without an explanation, not all the times I asked
where you had been all week when you hadn’t picked up the phone. Not once.”
I would have apologized again, but I wasn’t sure if I should. I barely

remembered anything she was talking about.
“She’s really done something to you,” Kate surmised.
“She has,” I agreed. The more I said it, the more I knew it was true.
“I’ll help you, Edward,” Kate said with a loud exhale. “At least, I’ll tell you
what I would have liked.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Humph. You never thanked me for anything, either.”
“I’m…sorry.”
Kate laughed.
“Thank you for apologizing, Edward,” she said. “Not let’s get you a plan
together, all right? I think simple is the only way to go.”
Ten minutes later I had three simple things I was supposed to accomplish for
Bella’s birthday. It seemed so little when I thought about it, but I had to go with
what Kate had told me, because I didn’t have anything else to go on.
“Thank you,” I said softly. “I never would have come up with any of this by
myself. And I know it’s way too late, but for what it is worth, I am sorry I hurt
you.”
“Good luck, Edward,” Kate said, and the phone went silent.
I got up off the floor and went back to the hotel room door. Bella was still
sleeping with her hair and arms and legs all over the place. She was so
beautiful, and I didn’t deserve to have her with me, but I was going to do
everything I could to make her birthday a good one.
I could make it special, right?

Chapter 76:
“I need to make an appointment for my wife,” I told the obviously flaming gay
guy at the front desk of the hotel’s salon.
“Of course, sir,” he responded. “I can work her in tomorrow afternoon…”
“Not tomorrow,” I said. “Today. Now, actually.”
He laughed a cute little effeminate laugh, which I wanted to punch right down
his throat. With a two-by-four.
“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” he said. “But we are completely booked up for the day.
Perhaps-”
“Look,” I said as I waved my hand in front of my face. “I honestly don’t give a

shit what else you have going on here today. I want my wife totally and
completely pampered by whoever your best is, and I want it arranged by the
time I get to my room and back.”
“It’s just not possible…”
His voice trailed off as I pulled out my wallet and started laying bills in front of
him. I stopped at five thousand Euros, figuring there was no way he was going
to turn down that kind of load, and I didn’t want to leave any room for
argument.
“That’s the first half,” I told him as his eyes tried to bug right out of his head and
do a little ballroom dancing on the counter. “Once she’s done, you’ll get the
other half.”
“This…this will be…fine… sir,” he stammered. “We’ll be ready for her in five
minutes.”
“Good man,” I said with a smile.
One more part of this little plan was set in motion.

When I woke Bella up this morning, I had croissants and coffee ready for her
on a little tray, along with a single red rose in a vase. I was about as fucking
nervous as I could be, just knowing that something so small couldn’t possibly be
special enough, but Bella’s eyes went wide, and she reached out for me. I was
just about hugged to death before she actually let me go and tried out her
breakfast. Part two was the pampering at the salon, followed by dinner. Kate
had just said “spa day and take her out of the town,” so I figured that meant
dinner and sightseeing.
I told Bella I was taking her out for dinner, and she got a big smile on her face.
She went to the dresser drawer and pulled out the white box that had been
delivered to our first hotel in Paris – the one she had been carrying with her all
this time, but wouldn’t tell me what was in it. She opened it, and pulled out tow
dresses – one black, one red. The both looked really, really tiny.
“Which color do you like?” she asked.
“Red.” Like there was really any guesswork there.
I love the fact that money can get me most any kind of service I want. Maybe
that’s part of the reason I’ve fucked up my relationships, but I didn’t want to
deal with that right now. I got Bella set up in the salon, got someone else at the
front desk to get me a suit with a tie the same color a Bella’s dress, and had the
hotel’s florist shred the petals off a couple of hundred red roses and deliver them
to the room. Everything was done within view of the salon door, so I could
keep track of her as well – until we got to the rose petals. It was the only time I
was actually far enough away from the door to get a little nervous. I had a
freaking huge basket of petals in my arms, and now that I was staring at the
freshly cleaned room, I wasn’t sure exactly what to do with them.
I took a deep breath and carried the basket over to the bed. At first, I just kind
of threw the around the bed, figuring I’d go with the BINGO cover-all
approach. I made a trail from the door to the bed, and then looked over
everything. It just looked like a big fucking truckload of flowers had exploded
in the room, if you asked me. I shook my head, trying to figure out what I could
do to make it look like less of a…well, less of a mess.

Or was that just me?
I finally went back to the bed and gathered all the petals I could into the center,
cursing my general lack of artistic skills. I spread them out again, making a
huge, red, rose-petal heart in the middle of the bed.
Girls liked that kind of shit, right?
Chapter 77:
Bella was so fucking gorgeous, I could barely breathe deep enough to keep my
brain working. She had stepped out of the salon – freshly facialed, massaged,
manicured, and God knows what else – looking like sex on a stick, but without
the stick. I had a stick I was willing to share, and even managed to keep myself
from saying so. Actually, I didn’t say anything – back to the whole lack of
oxygen thing.

They had dressed her in the salon, and the short little thing she was wearing had
a collar around her neck, but no sleeves, and the skirt length was nearly illegal.
And it was bright fucking red.
All I could do was stare at her.
Now that she sat across from me, running the edge of her finger around her
water glass, I couldn’t even hear what she was saying. I think she might have
been talking about friends she knew in her school and what happened at the last
homecoming football game or something like that, but I wasn’t sure, because I
was having a mental conversation with my cock.
He was also staring at her.
Well, pointing, really.
I had to get a grip.
By the time dinner was over, Bella started asking me what was wrong, and why
I wasn’t talking. I finally just dropped my head in my hands and shook it,
which didn’t illicit the correct response at all. She really thought there was
something wrong at that point. Finally, I gave up, and just told her.
Well…sort of. I didn’t tell her about my cock. I’m not that stupid.
Shut up.
“You’re just…so fucking beautiful tonight,” I finally said. “It actually makes it
hard to concentrate on anything else.”
Her cheeks tried to turn a shade shy of her dress. I leaned over the table and
reached up to stroked her cheek with my thumb.
“You are,” I told her.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “For all of this. The spa was about the most
relaxed I think I have felt in months, dinner has been wonderful, and you…
well, you look kind of beautiful, too.”
I huffed through my nose.

“Guys aren’t supposed to be beautiful.”
“You are,” she insisted. I decided it wasn’t worth discussing.
“Ready for a trip up the tower?” I asked.
“Definitely!”
Bella wanted to walk…fucking walk up the steps to the observation platform. I

thought she was nuts. Once we had gone up about forty-five thousand steps, I
was sure she was nuts.
“Seriously, Bella,” I panted as we reached another one of the platforms between

sets of stairs. “I can’t go anymore.”
I dropped down on my ass at the top of the stairs and held me hand over my
chest.
“I’m too old for this shit,” I groaned. Bella laughed, and whatever pain I was
feeling in my calves dissipated with the sound.
“But I’m the one who is older today,” she said as she laughed again.
“Yeah – a whopping nineteen,” I grumbled. “Ten years ago I probably could

have walked up to the top, too.”
Bella looked down over the railing, biting down on her lip a bit. She was damn
cute when she did that. Her eyes glanced over at me, but then looked back out
over the city. I hauled myself up and went to stand beside her. The wind had
picked up, and her hair was blowing out of the carefully constructed twists and
braids and whatever. Little strands were blowing around, and Bella reached up
and pulled out some pins so her hair fell free around her neck and down her
back.
I couldn’t let that slide without action, so I stood next to her and wrapped my
arm around her shoulders. We both looked out at the lights of the city for a
minute, and I wondered what she could be thinking. My free hand dived into
my pocket, fingering the little box inside and wondering if now was as good a
time as any.

“Bella?”
“Hmm?” She didn’t turn towards me, but leaned against the rail and let the
wind blow against her face.
“I…um…” My finger fiddled over the tiny little bow on top of the box. I took a
deep breath and pulled it out. “I got you a birthday present.”
“Edward, you didn’t have to do that.” Bella pushed off the rail and turned to
look at me. “I think the whole spa thing and dinner and everything is plenty.”
Shit, had I screwed this up after all? I thought there was supposed to be
something to open on your birthday, and none of the other things could be
wrapped. I told her as much, and was glad when she conceded the point. I held
the little rectangular box out to her.
Bella’s eyes darted up to mine before she looked back down to her hands and
slowly lifted the lid.
“Oh my God,” she whispered as she pulled the diamond and ruby bracelet from
its box.
“It matched your dress,” I said. I couldn’t figure out if she

liked it or not, and he more she didn’t say, the more I was
starting to think I fucked it up again. I should have gotten
the sapphires, just because they cost more, but one that fit
with what she was wearing made sense, or at least I thought it
did.
Bella finally looked up to me.
“Edward…it’s beautiful.”
I stood there with the Paris wind blowing across my skin, the air cooling
quickly as the setting sun finally disappeared over the horizon, and just looked
at the most incredible person I had ever known as she looked back at me. I
couldn’t breathe right, swallow, or even think, really – I was just too caught up
in the look in her eyes and the fact that she was here, with me.

I wanted to tell her how incredible she made me feel, and how I wanted to give
her everything she could ever want in the world. I wanted to tell her I would do
anything – anything – to stay in her life when all this was over. I wanted to tell
her she had changed me – that I wasn’t the same person who had been so selfish
and depraved he thought buying another person could solve all his problems.
I didn’t say anything.
Instead, I took the bracelet from her hand and fastened it around her wrist.
“Happy birthday,” I said with a little shrug and a grin.
Bella’s arms reached up around my neck and pulled me to her. Her mouth
warmed my lips as we stood there on one of the Eiffel Tower’s lower platforms,
and became completely lost within each other. There were no other tourists
around, no other sights, no other sounds. Only the two of us.
This had to be heaven, right?

Chapter 78:
I was pretty sure my heart was trying to leap right out of my chest, it was
pounding so hard.
We were heading back to the hotel after our lovely birthday dinner date and
Eiffel Tower tour – husband and wife, ex master and slave, human buyer and
kidnap victim – for me to take her virginity. If there was ever a more fucked up
situation in history, I would have liked to know about it, just for the sake of
comparison.
I wanted a cigarette really, really badly, but I hadn’t had one all day.
The sliding doors to the hotel lobby opened, and one of the hotel staff greeted us
with a big smile and a big bonsoir. Bella gave him a smile and a blushing hello,
and then reached out for my hand and slipped her fingers into the spaces
between mine. She swung our hands together lightly as we headed for the
elevator.
I tried to remember how to breathe.
I’d never held hands like this before. Whenever I had held hands with women
in the past, it was to take them and lead them somewhere – pull them along so
they would go faster or just go the right way. I’d never had my fingers
interlaced with someone else’s before, and I really wasn’t sure what to make of
it. I didn’t understand why there was this tingling sensation running up my
arm. Once it got to my shoulder, it buried itself inside my gut and seemed to be
trying to shove itself out of my body like something out of an alien horror flick.
I looked down to where our hands were joined, and looked and how perfectly
they seemed to fit together, even though my hands were so much bigger than
hers. The tip of the diamond in her wedding ring grazed against the edge of my
finger, and Bella’s fingers clenched a little, holding my hand tighter. When our
swinging hands reached the lowest point of the arc, the sleeves of my jacket –

which Bella was wearing – covered most of her hand and mine. She kept us
connected that way all the way to the room.
As soon as the door closed, she tossed my

jacket over the back of a chair, grabbed a
hold of my tie, and pulled me close to
her. Her tongue traced over her bottom
lip once as she looked at my mouth, then
kissed me. I took a step closer and ran
my hands up her arms and into her hair,
holding her face to me as I pressed
against her mouth, my tongue meeting up
with hers gently.
Gently.
I had to be gentle, because my wife of

two months was a virgin, and I had no
idea how to fuck a virgin.
No…I’m not going to fuck her.
I’m going to make love to her.
Strangely enough, the idea didn’t seem all that odd to me. If fact, when I
opened my eyes and watched her pull her dress up and over her hips, then over
her head and off, it didn’t seem odd to me at all. Even with her standing there
in nothing but a little white bra and panty set, all I could manage to think about
was making sure I didn’t go too fast, and that I stopped if she changed her mind,
and that I made sure she came first.
In more ways than one.
The idea of making love wasn’t alarming me at all, like I might have thought,
but I was so fucking nervous, anyone watching would have thought I was the
virgin. I didn’t want to hurt her, and I wanted her to like it, and I wanted her to

like me. I was seriously afraid of fucking it all up. The obnoxious, high-pitched
voice of Ruby Rhod from The Fifth Element popped into my head.
“So tell me my man, are you nervous in the service?”
I wished I was Bruce Willis.
Gentle.
Slow.
She would tell me if I did something wrong, wouldn’t she?
“Bella?”
“Hmmm…?”
“If I…um…if I do something and you don’t like it, you’ll tell me, right?”
Bella’s hand went to the side of my face, and her eyes locked with mine. Her
lips touched mine briefly before she pulled back and smiled.
“I promise,” she said.
I nodded and let out a sigh before leaning down and kissing slowly across her
left shoulder. Bella shivered a little, and I moved over to her right shoulder. I
kept my eyes closed, because the sigh of her skin was driving me insane, even in
the dim lights in the room. My hands rested lightly on her hips.
Bella pulled the knot of my tie apart, unraveled it from my neck and dropped it
on the floor next to her dress. Her fingers made quick work of my shirt
buttons, and it joined the pile on the floor as well. Her hands reached up and
tangled in my hair as she pulled me back down to kiss her again. Tentatively, I
ran one hand up her back, my fingers trailing along the edge of the back-strap
of her bra. I found the clasp, and flicked it open. Bella let go of my head long
enough to let the straps slide off of her shoulders. I touched her hair, splaying it
out over her bare shoulders, as I tried to hold in the pressure that seemed to be
building inside of me.
Placing my hands on the wall behind her, I leaned in to kiss her again.

I felt Bella’s fingers open up the front of my dress slacks and push them over my
hips. I stepped out of them, kicking off my shoes in the process. I looked at her
eyes once more, then leaned in to take her mouth with mine as her hands
slipped around my waist and dipped into the hem of my boxers.
It was now or never, right?
Chapter 79
Bella’s fingers ran around the edge of my boxers from the back to the sides
before she started pushing them down, freeing my aching cock in the process. I
kicked out of them, toeing off my socks as well, but not breaking the kiss. That
is, until I felt Bella’s hand wrap around me.
“Shit…Bella…” I tried to get a grip on my breathing while she had a grip on

my cock, but it just wasn’t working. I pulled her hand away, and she narrowed
her eyes at me. “Not yet, okay?”
“Why?”
“Because it feels so fucking good I’m going to come all over your hand if you do
that now.”
She bit down on her lip to try and hide her smile, then trailed the tips of her
fingers over my length before letting go and placing her hands on my shoulders
instead. I hissed at the feeling and leaned my forehead against her shoulder.
“I want to make this right,” I whispered.
“You will,” she said encouragingly.
“I’ll try.” It was all I could do. I looked back to her eyes, kissed her once more,
and tried to come up with some kind of brilliant strategy.
Brilliant strategy step one – come up with brilliant strategy prior to being
naked.

Ok, failed that one.
Next step – she had to be ready.
Better luck this time…I hoped.
My hands went to her breasts, my thumbs brushing over her nipples. They
hardened under my touch, and Bella leaned her head back against the wall,
closing her eyes in the process. I moved my hands down, over her stomach and
to her sides as I slowly knelt down before her. I hooked my thumbs into the
edges of her panties and then looked up to her eyes.
She was smiling, and reached down to run her hand through my hair as she
nodded. Taking a single, deep breath, I pulled them down her legs, watching
my progress as they dropped lower. I didn’t look up to the area I had
exposed…I wasn’t ready for that yet.
When I reached the floor, Bella stepped out of her heels and let me pull the
panties over her feet and off of her all together. I ran the edge of my fingers
across her feet and to her ankles as I tried to mentally prepare myself to look up
again. I wanted to see her – no fucking doubt of that at all – but I was kind of
afraid of it, too, though I couldn’t tell you why.
If I had known…
I slowly looked up, figuring I couldn’t spend all night down where I was, and
my eyes tried to bug out of my head.
“Holy fucking shit,” I whispered.
Bella had apparently done more at the spa than I had realized.
She was totally fucking bare, and I wasn’t prepared for that at all.
“Is it okay?” Bella asked quietly. “I didn’t really know what you preferred…”
I couldn’t speak outside of expletives, so I went with a muted nod instead. I ran
my hands up the sides of her legs, resisting the urge to just haul her over to the
bed and start pounding into her beautiful, naked pussy.

As if my cock was throbbing before, the visual floating around in my head was
going straight to my other head.
I tried to get both my breathing and heart rate to calm down a bit, and then ran
my hands up the back of her calves. I leaned forward, placing light kisses up
one thigh, then the other. I didn’t reach out for her pussy – not yet – but I did
bring my hands up to her backside to pull her towards me as my lips brushed
over her hips and stomach.
“Bella?” I looked up to her face.
“Yes?” Apparently her breathing as a little off, too.
“Can I take you to bed now?”
She nodded, and I stood up. My hands found hers – lacing our fingers together
before I turned and led her over to the bed and the rose petals, which were
suddenly looking really stupid and childish to me. I wished I hadn’t done it at
all, but then Bella gasped.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. She let go of one of my hands and placed hers
over her mouth. “Did you do that?”
“Um…yeah?”
She looked from the bed, covered in a rose-petal heart, to me.
“It’s beautiful.”
I guess I got something right, right?
Chapter 80
She lay down in the middle of the heart.
All I could do was stare at her.

It wasn’t just how fucking hot she looked lying on the bed, waiting for me to
climb in and take her virginity. It wasn’t the little voice inside my man bits that
wanted to become a lot better acquainted with her lady bits. It wasn’t even the
nervousness I felt from the sheer responsibility of making her come – first time
or not.
It was the waves of tension washing over my skin, through the muscles of my
arms and legs, up and down my spine, and even behind my eyes. It was the
brutal need to just be in her presence, not matter what we were doing. It was
wanting nothing more than to just look at her until I dropped dead from
starvation or scurvy or rickets or something.
What the hell are rickets, anyway?
Bella smiled slyly, and then raised her arms up over her head, laying them
against the pillow as she stretched out her body. The image was stunning, and I
was stunned. Soon after the shock wore off, I started to panic.
Even though I had done this before – even though I had seen her before – I had
known I wasn’t going to be taking it any farther then. Knowing apparently
made all the difference, because I was now just about as freaked out as I could
be.
“Edward.” Bella’s soft voice broke through my thoughts, and I met her gaze.
“Come here.”
She used her finger to beckon me, and I tried to keep my eyes focused on hers
as I climbed into the bed and lay my head on the pillow next to hers. She
reached over with her hand to touch the side of my face, and I felt myself relax a
little into her touch. Not a lot, but at least enough to pull my thoughts back
together.
“Why are you worried?” Bella asked.
“I want it to be right.”
Her fingers grazed my jaw.

“It will be.”
When I met her eyes again, I could just tell she meant it. She had complete faith
in me, though I was pretty sure that was as misguided as it could possibly be.
She leaned closer and took my mouth with hers, licking across my lip before
sucking it into her mouth. We kissed slowly but deeply until Bella finally broke
for air. I didn’t think I needed any – I was quite sure I could just live off of
Bella – oxygen could become secondary. Her fingers scraped my jaw again as
she smiled at me. I took a deep breath, deciding that if she could have that kind
of confidence in me, I’d better be prepared to prove her right.
“I’ll go slow,” I told her.
Bella only nodded in response.
I propped myself up on one elbow so I could use my other hand to just touch
her. My fingers slid down over her shoulder, across each of her collarbones and
over her breasts. I only touched her lightly – and I felt her shiver under my
fingertips.
“Are you cold?” I asked, glancing over at the slightly opened window, which
was letting in cool fall breezes.
“No,” she said quietly. “I’m fine.”
Nodding, I cupped one of her breasts in my hand, lifting it up a little and

marveling at how well it fit in my hand. I drew circles around her nipples,
watching them pucker and harden under the sensation. Just seeing them do
that was making me harder by the second, but I tried to forget about that and
concentrate on her.
I wanted it to be good for her.
With one finger, I made a trail from the spot right between her breasts down to
her navel, circled it, and then ran the backs of my fingers from one hip to the
other. My fingers grazed over the top of where her pubic hair used to be.

Bella’s legs shifted a little, and she pushed her thighs together. I smiled,
realizing exactly what she was doing.
“Do you want me to touch you again?” I asked.
“Yes.” Her breathy whisper was all the encouragement I needed.
Her skin was so soft and smooth without any hair down there anymore, and for
a minute I just palmed her right above her clit, feeling her smooth skin against
mine. When her hips lifted up, I let my fingers drift lower and between her legs,
which she moved apart a little. There was already a little moisture when I felt
down between her pussy lips, spreading her open with two of my fingers while
the third ran up and down her slit.
“Oh God, Edward…that feels so good.”
I put the tip of my finger inside of her a bit, pushing it in and out slowly until
more went in easily. Once all of it was in, I pulled it out and ran the wetness
over her clit, causing her to gasp. I moved down lower – wanting to get better
access – and ran both of my hands up her thighs and over her hips before my
hand went back between her legs, slowing pushing into her, coming back to rub
her clit, and then delving inside again.
With my finger still inside her, and my thumb pressing lightly down on her clit,
my mouth went searching for the skin on her side. I pulled my finger out, and
then slowly pushed two back inside of her again. I kissed her hipbone, then
over to her navel, where I tongued her, eliciting a giggle. Her hand went to my
head, and her fingers latched onto my hair. I looked up at her and found her
staring back at me with her lip stuck between her teeth. My fingers were so wet
with her juices, and I wanted to pull them out and suck on them. I wanted to
replace my fingers with my tongue and feel her come all over my face.
“I want to taste you,” I told her, and her eyes went wide.
Shit.

She said she never wanted to do oral again…did she mean this, too? She looked
upset, worried, maybe even panicked, and I thought she was going to end up
actually puncturing her lower lip with her teeth. Shit, shit, shit.
I must have fucked this up already, right?
Chapter 81
“You…you want to do that?” Bella said quietly.
“I don’t have to,” I said quickly. “Only if you want me to.”
“You don’t have to,” she said. “I mean, I can’t imagine you would want to…”
“Bella, I want to,” I assured her. “I want to go down on you, but I won’t if you
don’t want it.”
Her brows tried to merge together.
“You…like that?”
“Just thinking about going down on you has me so hard I could probably drill
through the wall.”
“Really?” she both looked and sounded surprised.
“Definitely.”
Bella chewed on her lip some more. I was starting to get a little jealous, and
considered forgetting the whole cunnilingus thing and just start nibbling her lips
instead.
“Okay,” she finally said.
“You sure?” I asked. She nodded, and seemed to be serious, so I kissed her
belly once more before I starting trailing my lips over her smooth, pink skin.
My hands slid down her calves, grabbing her ankles and pushing them up closer
to her body, which made her hips raise up a bit and put her on display for me.

So fucking beautiful.
I slid my arms under her legs, angling her up a little to give me better access. I
licked my lips once, kissed the inside of her left thigh, then moved in.
As soon as I tasted her, I knew I would never, ever be able to get enough. I
moaned against her, and I could feel the vibrations as they passed to her skin.
Bella’s hips pushed up as she gasped.
“Oh my God…”
“You like that?” I murmured against her skin, causing more vibrations.
“Ugh! Yes! Yes!” Her hands reached down and gripped into my hair.
My tongue touched her, tasted her, explored

her, and generally had a really fucking good
time. I could feel and hear her reactions to
what I was doing without looking up to see
her expression. I did glance at her a couple
of times, but her head was back against the
pillow and her neck was arched, so I couldn’t
see her eyes anyway. I might have liked to
see them as I did this to her, but mostly I just
wanted to know that she was liking it, and
she obviously was, so I kept it up – dipping
my tongue inside of her and swirling it
around before dragging it back up to her clit.
I circled, pushed, hummed, and even drew
my name with my tongue over her clit.
Edward was here…
I knew she was close when her thighs tried to squeeze my head, and I had to
grip them a little tighter to keep her open for me. She started chanting my
name, which caused me to increase my speed, trying to match the tempo she set

with the slight rocking of her hips. I gripped her backside with my hands to
hold her a little closer and continued the tongue dance over her beautiful pussy.
I pushed the tip of my tongue hard against the throbbing little nub, and Bella
nearly came right off the bed as she cried out, gripping my hair tightly as her
hips pushed against my face. I kept circling my tongue as best I could, feeling
her moisture all around me, tasting how fucking sweet she was as she dropped
back down to the mattress, moaning.
The pace of my licks slowed, and I switched from using the tip to using the top,
laving over her clit, just to give it one slow, last pass before trailing down to her
entrance. I circled her there once, just making sure she was wet enough to
make it easy to get inside of her, before I pulled my arms out from under her
backside and pushing myself up. I wiped the back of my hand across my lips
and looked up to Bella with a smile. Her eyes were wide, and she was still
panting a little.
“So good,” I said. I hoped she believed me, and that she didn’t think I was just
saying it because she wanted to hear it. I wasn’t just saying it. I would do that
again and again – for as long as she would let me.
Because nothing could taste sweeter, right?
Chapter 82
I crawled up her body, kissing here and there as I went. She was still breathing
heavily, and her chest was rising and falling with her deep breaths as she tried
to calm her body. Her eyes stayed on mine, wide and seemingly in shock.
“Are you okay?” I asked like an idiot. “I mean…was it okay?”
She nodded her head, but she still looked like she was in shock or something. I
placed one hand on her shoulder, and then ran it up her neck. The other hand

held my weight as I leaned over her and brushed my lips over hers. As I looked
at her, her tongue darted out – probably tasting herself on my lips.
“Do you really…like that?” she asked. “You weren’t’ just saying that?”
“I really do like it,” I told her, “and I wasn’t just saying that.”
She looked away from me, and I wondered if she was thinking she should
reciprocate or some such shit. No fucking way.
“No!” I said, my tone a little more firm than I really meant for it to be. She
looked back to me, visibly started. “I don’t want you to – never. I want to do it
to you – whenever you want it, though. Okay?”
“You won’t…miss it?”
“No.” I meant that shit, too. I didn’t know if I really thought about it, but I
couldn’t give a flying fuck about ever being in her mouth again. If I could just
figure out how to be in her life, that would be plenty. “I just want to be with
you.”
For a moment we just looked at each other, and I tried to figure out if I was
supposed to say something now or if it was her turn. I never talked while
having sex before. Dirty talk, yes, but not an actual conversation. Was there
protocol? Were we supposed to take turns with the talking? Wasn’t it her
turn? I thought it was.
“Now what?” Bella’s voice was so quiet I could barely hear her.
“Do you still want me to?” I asked, both hoping she would say yes and that she
would say no. I had no fucking idea what my preference really was. I mean, I
knew what I wanted for me, but I wasn’t so convinced that it was a great idea
for Bella. I wasn’t going to turn her down again, though. Whatever will power
I had on that front was completely obliterated.
“Yes,” she said.
“Do you want to be on top?” I asked her.

“Should I be?” Her eyes were wide again, and she was biting down on her lip,
which just made me want to suck on it.
“It might be easier?” I shrugged. I really had no idea, but it seemed like if she
was in control of the…well, the penetration…then it might be easier.
“I wouldn’t know what to do,” she said, and for the first time she started looking
like she was scared. I ran my hand over her face.
“You don’t have to do this at all,” I told her. She stared up at me from a sea of
red petals. They were all over the place – all over her, all over the pillows and in
her hair and stuck to her shoulders. “You know we’ll only do this if you want
to. You can back out anytime – right now – if you want to.”
“I don’t,” Bella insisted. “I don’t want to back out – I just want you to…um…”
She stopped speaking and her face scrunched up a little, turning pink.
“You want me to do it?” I guessed. She nodded, and I kissed her mouth again.
I could feel her relaxing a little under the touch of my hands and my lips. I
kissed up her jaw and to her ear, sucking on it gently and closing my eyes before
I spoke.
“I would do anything you asked me to do,” I told her. “I would do anything for
you. Anything.”
“I know,” she said. I opened my eyes as I felt her head turn towards mine.
“But you don’t have to.”
“I do,” I said. I covered her mouth again so she couldn’t argue with me. As we
kissed, I moved my hand down her side, brushing my fingertips over her breast
before reaching between her legs again. I ran my fingers over her once before I
used my knees to push her legs farther apart, spreading more rose petals around
on the bed. I shifted my hips, bringing them close to her.
I had to close my eyes as I held my dick in my hand and placed the head right at
her entrance. I ran it up and down a few times, feeling the wetness coat the tip,

and then repositioned. I opened my eyes again to find hers locked with mine –
nervousness apparent, but also excitement and maybe even…trust?
“I’ll go slow,” I told her. “You tell me if it’s…if it’s too much, okay?”
She nodded quickly and bit down on her lip. I leaned over her and kissed her
cheek, then down her jaw. When I met her lips, she opened her mouth to me,
and I slowly moved my hips forward.
Ohhhh...God…
I just barely had the head of my cock in her, and I was ready to blow. I tried to
think about sports and guns and Three Stooges episodes, but it didn’t help
much. Tight didn’t even begin to describe her. I pushed a little more, and heard
her gasp.
My eyes flew to hers as I pulled back, though I had really only barely been
inside. She shook her head.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered.
“Did it hurt?”
“Not exactly…it just felt…strange.”
I moved my hand from around my cock and slid my fingers back and forth over
her again before slipping one inside. It went fairly easily, so I tried two again.
Within a couple of minutes she was panting and moaning slightly, as I pulled
both fingers out of her and ran them over her clit.
“Try again?” Bella’s fingers wrapped around the bicep of my arm that held me
over her.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
I nodded and ran my moistened fingers up and down my shaft before placing
the head of my cock back at her entrance. Going very slowly, I pushed again,
feeling a little less resistance this time. Her fingers dug into my arm, and I

watched her face closely as I moved a little farther inside and felt myself finally
move past her entrance.
As soon as I did, I slipped in farther all of the sudden, even though I didn’t think
I had pushed harder. It was more like something just gave way. I realized
something probably had. Holy shit…
Bella dug her teeth into her lip, and I let go of my shaft to reach up and place
my palm against her cheek.
“Still okay?”
Bella turned her face towards my hand and kissed my palm. With her eyes
closed she nodded.
“Please.”
When I moved forward this time, I slid in farther and easier than before. It was
only another moment before I was completely inside of her.
Inside of Bella.
Inside my wife.
Inside heaven.
My head felt like it was spinning around in little circles like someone had placed
it on a playground swing, twisted the rope up as tight as they could, and then let
it go.
She was so, so soft inside. It was like pushing into wet silk. I had never felt
anything like it, and I wondered if it was simply the lack of a condom or not. I
didn't think it was. I was pretty it was just the way she was. She felt so good
wrapped around my cock, I could hardly stand it. I wanted to stay right where I
was for the rest of my life. I didn't need to get off; I just needed to be in her.
Never leave this spot. Stay in this bed, in this hotel, with this woman, forever.
Bella placed her hand against my cheek, and I leaned into the sensation.
“Are you okay?” she asked, echoing my words from earlier.

“More than okay,” I breathed back to her. I panted through my mouth, trying
to keep myself enough in check to last more than a minute or two. It was going
to be a hard battle. “You feel so, so good…Bella…God…”
I didn’t move, just held myself in her and waited. I didn’t know what I was
waiting for – either for her to get used to me, for my impending orgasm to
subside, or maybe just waiting for a meteor to drop on my head or something. It
would just figure if one did.
Tentatively, I pulled out about half way. I wasn’t pulling out of her all together
– no fucking way. I might never pull out of her all the way. I pushed back in
slowly with a groan. The feeling was just indescribable. At the very least I
would be all over thesuarus.com looking for the right synonym for ecstasy, and
then I’d get pissed off at none of the words being adequate.
It was fucking awesome, that’s what it was.
But better.
You know?
Oh, fuck it.
Bella’s hand’s were on my shoulders, gripping me tightly as I moved in and out

of her slowly and gently – like I promised her I would. I wrapped my arms
around her and held her close to my chest. I could feel the little rose petals as
the clung to my biceps and legs, and I might have found the little fuckers
annoying except for the sight I saw when I opened my eyes.
Lying in the middle of the bed, on her back with her arms reaching up to me
was Bella. The twinkling lights from the Eiffel Tower were shining into the
room through the giant floor-to-ceiling windows and causing her skin to glow in
color. All around her were the deep red petals, making her look like she was
lying in the middle of a fluffy, blood-stained cloud.
Okay – so romantic similes were never going to be my thing.
Fucking sue me.

I moved just a little faster, rocking into her without pulling out very far. So
slick…so wet…so warm…so fucking incredible. I lay my forehead against her
shoulder and felt her hand coil back into my hair. It was all I needed to send me
over the edge.
It was okay to come inside her, right?
________________________________
Chapter 83
I sure as hell hoped it was okay to come in her because I was far, far beyond the
point of no return. Maybe if she had screamed at me to stop or something I
could have ended it, but I probably would have made a mess all over the rose
petals anyway.
“Bella…I’m gonna…gonna…”
“Please!” she cried out as her hips bucked up against mine, and there was
definitely no turning back then. It just gets to a certain point and your body
takes over, the sensations are too strong and you can’t completely stop. Having
my cock in the most incredible little sanctuary in existence certainly didn’t help
my resilience. Once the word please came out of her mouth, I was a goner.
My forehead was pushed against her shoulder, locked into the warm spot
against her neck, and my hands gripped her hips. I kept her anchored against
me, as tightly as I could while still moving within her body when the feeling
overcame me.
It had never, ever been like this. I’d fucked lots of women, had great orgasms,
and walked away without even remembering their names. Right at that
moment, I couldn’t remember my name, but I knew hers. She was life, and
body, and soul, and…God-damnit…she was love. I knew exactly who had me
inside of her. I knew exactly who it was that – ironically enough – completely
owned me.
Bella.

Chapter 84
“Edward?”
I hummed back at her, tilting my head against her hand as she ran fingers over
my cheek.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” I mumbled back. I was about eighty percent asleep, and could have
found the other twenty percent pretty easily.
“How long do we have to…um…wait?”
“For what?”
“Until we can…do that again?”
Okay. I was awake again.
“You know,” she continued before I could gather an actual thought. “Before
you can…um…”
Her voice trailed off. I guess the phrase “how long does it take for your cock to
get hard after you come” was a bit much for her to say ten minutes after losing
her virginity.
“Maybe twenty minutes or so,” I said. My heart was pounding again, and I was
pretty sure it was considering cutting that time in half, just in case Bella was
asking for a specific reason.
“Really? So we could do it again? Tonight?”
“Fuck yes!” Damn my mouth.
Bella giggled and then went back to stroking my cheek. I felt myself relaxing
again, and dropped my head to the pillow beside hers. My eyes tried to close
again, and I thought over the night we had just had – how fucking awesome it
was, and how much I wanted to go back and do it all over again. That started

me thinking, which is usually a bad idea. I wondered if this was a one-time
thing for Bella – if she only wanted her one wedding night, and nothing else.
Would she even go out with me again?
I opened my eyes and found her looking at me, a slight smile on her lips. My
mouth opened before I could think, which was nothing new.
“Will you go out with me tomorrow?” I asked.
“Sure,” Bella said simply. “Where should we go?”
Okay, at least I hadn’t said anything completely stupid this time.
“The Louvre?” I suggested. That’s in Paris, isn’t it? Fuck, what if it wasn’t?
“Or just to a café or something? Go to the water? Watch the boats? Anything
you want, really.”
Yeah, I was babbling now.
“The Louvre,” she said definitively. “And dinner again?”
By some miracle, my babbling didn’t seem to hurt. I thought about how she
looked sitting across from me at dinner earlier tonight wearing that red dress,
and I remembered she had another one, too.
“You just want a reason to wear that little black dress,” I teased. Like I didn’t
want to see her in it.
“Maybe I’ll dress you up, too,” she said. “You look pretty good in a suit and tie,
you know.”
“I fucking hate ties,” I told her.
“I think a black suit, with that same red tie,” Bella started planning and talking
over me like I wasn’t even there. She placed one fingertip on the end of her
chin and tapped softly. Then she started speaking in a horrible French accent.
“Red suspenders would make you look absolutely delectable.”
Actually, she sounded quite a bit like the gay guy at the salon.
“Are you serious?” I asked.

“Most certainly.”
I was pretty sure she was mimicking him at this point. I looked at her eyes for a
while, trying to decide if she was just messing with me or not. She really didn’t
look like she was joking.
“If I have to wear suspenders and a tie, you have to wear thigh-high stockings
and garters.”
“Deal!”
Damn…I kind of thought she would refuse that one.
“I already have the stockings and garters,” she admitted. “They were part of
what Alice and I ordered before we left. She said there was no way I was going
to be in Paris with nothing to wear.”
“You guys are crazy,” I mumbled, and she laughed. I leaned over and kissed her
nose, and she wrapped her hands around the back of my head and pressed her
lips to mine. A minute later, a buzzing sound came from the other side of the
room. My fucking phone. It was probably Alice, pissed that we were talking
about her. I didn’t know who it was, and really didn’t give a fuck, either.
“Is that your phone?” Bella asked.
“Yeah – ignore it.”
We went back to kissing, and eventually the damn thing shut up. It went off a
few minutes later though, but I didn’t think Bella noticed. I continued kissing
down her neck and then over to her breasts, sucking each nipple into my mouth.
Twenty minutes was definitely up, and I didn’t want to waste any more time. I
pulled her leg up over my hip and slowly pushed inside of her again. I felt like I
belonged right there – like I had finally figured out where my home was. I
rested my palm against her face.
“Are you okay? Not sore or anything?”

“Mmmm…more than okay,” she responded. Her heel dug into my backside a
little, pulling me closer each time I moved my hips forward. I moved without
haste, wanting it to last longer than the first one. I wanted to feel her come
while I was inside of her this time.
My hand moved from her hip to between us – just above where we joined. I
spread my first two fingers apart, surrounding my cock as it moved in and out of
her. Bella gasped as my thumb found her clit and started slowly circling -
matching the quiet thrusts inside of her.
“You feel so good,” I mumbled. “So, so good inside…”
Bella moaned unintelligibly and tucked her head against my chest. I grabbed
her ass with my hand, pulling her to me each time I thrust into her, and she
started gasping with each thrust, her sharp breaths matching how I moved, and
encouraging me to move faster.
Bella’s hands wrapped around my head and the back of my shoulders, and I
quickened my pace. With her eyes tightly closed, Bella’s panting breaths turned
into short cries, muffled by my chest as her body shook around me, tightening
on my cock. I couldn’t hold back at that point, and felt the waves of sensation
cascade around my body as I whisper-cried her name against the top of her
head.
For a long time, we just stayed in the same position, wrapped up in each other
and holding on tightly. I tried to match her breaths as they slowed and calmed,
and tried to keep myself pressed close enough to her that I didn’t slip out. That
didn’t really work for very long, though. Eventually we had to move a little. I
kissed her forehead, and Bella looked up at me a smiled, then blushed, then
mumbled about needed to pee.
While Bella snuck off to the bathroom, my phone started buzzing again. I
reached down to my discarded pants, pulled the thing out of my pocket and
switched it off. I noticed Rosalie’s name on the screen right before it shut down,
and I figured what she was calling about. They’d finally got it right, and
deactivated the chips. I didn’t want to hear that right now, because it would just

be the beginning of the end. I knew it was coming, but it didn’t have to show up
right now – not this night. Nothing was going to ruin this night for us.
Nothing.
Whatever it was could wait until tomorrow, right?
I loved her.
And what I was doing to her…no… with her…was not fucking.
I was making love to her, and it was most certainly my first time, just as it was
hers.
The muscles in my shoulders ached with the exertion of holding myself in the
same position for too long, and the ache was beautiful. They also trembled in a
way I didn’t recall ever feeling before. It was not from overuse or lactic acid
buildup – they just ached to touch her more, like there was no way I could ever
get quite close enough to her to make it good enough. My glutes, hip, and leg
muscles all tensed and rippled as I slammed into her one more time, holding
myself as tightly inside of her as possible.
If I could have opened my eyes, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to
see.
The sensations flowed from my thighs into my balls, tightening them and
clutching them against my body. I felt the waves of intense feeling shoot out
down my shaft and into her, coupled with the most intense emotional response I
have ever felt.
It was desire and protectiveness, lust and neediness – it was want and
admiration, passion and frenzy – hunger, rapture…
It was everything.
I screamed.
One long, slow moan against her skin.

As my breath gave out, it sounded like a tearless sob.
Bella’s hand was in my hair still, holding me tight against her skin. I felt her lips
on top of my head as her other hand ran up and down my back. After many,
many minutes like that, I finally managed to push my weight off of her and look
at her smiling face.
Her hand went immediately to my cheek, rubbing and caressing it with her
fingertips. There were rose petals fucking everywhere – not just stuck to
various parts of the two of us, but all over the bed, the pillows, the floor, the
nightstand – even one on the windowsill like it was trying to escape or commit
suicide or something. They looked even more like a fucking explosion than they
had when I first put them out.
I reached out and knocked one of the silly things off of her hair and kissed her
softly before rolling to the side and off of her. I didn’t want to lose that contact,
but I knew I was crushing her, and she was more important.
I lay beside her and reached out for her hand. Like I had the night before, I
brought it to my chest, held it there a moment, then kissed the back of her
knuckles before lying her palm against my cheek. Bella obliged with a smile
and a little shake of her head. I looked at her and tried to thank her for what
she gave me with my eyes, because I knew anything and everything that might
have come out of my mouth would have been wrong.
There weren’t any words for this.
Not really.
Okay, I could have told her how I felt. I could have told her exactly what she
meant to me – what I had realized when we were so intimately connected.
I wanted to tell her.
I wanted her to know.
I knew I couldn’t say it.
So I didn’t.

I settled back against her and closed my eyes, reveling in the sensations of her
hand against my temple, jaw and neck. I inhaled the scent of her neck and
wondered if smells were something you needed as badly as water or food,
because I was pretty sure I could live off of her smell. I wrapped my arm
around her waist and pulled her close to me, holding her within my arms and
pretending – at least for the moment – that I was good enough for her.
Good enough to love her.
The night had been completely and totally perfect, and there was nothing that
could have made it any better. Even looking back and knowing what was to
come I wouldn't have changed the placement of a single rose petal stuck to her
shoulder blades. Even if I had understood at that very moment that it would be
our only night together, I still wouldn’t have changed anything.
I still wouldn’t have told her I loved her.
It would have only made things worse, right?

Chapter 85
The thigh-highs were going to be the death of me.
I pulled Bella into the elevator and jabbed at the button about four hundred
times in the vain attempt to get the damn contraption moving faster. If it hadn’t
been for some old dude with a cane I might have just jumped her in the elevator
car. Why is there always an audience around when you don’t want one?
The Louvre was fantastic, because Bella smiled and pointed at things and held
my hand. Dinner at an outdoor café was chilly, so I put my jacket around her
shoulders, and Bella smiled and let me run my fingers up and down her arm
while we waited for our food to be delivered. The walk along the Seine was
beautiful, because Bella smiled at me and let me put my arm around her
shoulders as we walked.
As much as I liked it, I didn’t care about any of that shit at the moment – I just
needed her back in the hotel room so I could get back inside of her and listen to
her scream my name again.
“Impatient much?” Bella giggled. I think she actually drank a whole glass and a
half of wine at dinner, and seemed a little less sure on her feet than she usually
was.
“And you aren’t?” I scoffed. She practically molested me in front of a statue of a

naked guy – right there in the middle of the museum. The statue guy had a
fucking tiny dick, and I pretended to the offended that it would remind her of
me. She giggled and rubbed her ass against the front of my pants. The elevator
opened and I pulled her by our laced-together fingers down the hallway to our
room.

Just like the previous night, the Eiffel Tower was all lit up and shining into the
hotel window. The whole city seemed to be lit up below us. I pulled Bella close
to me and cradled her face in my hands before I kissed her. I had planned to be
slow…gentle…like I had been the night before, but Bella seemed to have other,
possibly slightly drunken ideas.
She grabbed the belt loops on my pants and pulled me up against her, first
grinding against my hardening cock and then reaching between us to palm it.
“If you do that, I’m just going to come in

my pants,” I warned her. She only
giggled in response.
“I think that might be kind of funny,” she

said as she gripped me a little harder.
“Oh really?” I grabbed her hand and

stepped forward, backing her up against
the wall near the window. I lifted her arm
up until it was high above her head,
where I pinned it with my hand. I froze a
second, hoping I wasn’t doing anything she wouldn’t like, but when I looked
into her eyes they were sparkling with humor and excitement. She smiled slyly,
then reached down and grabbed me with her other hand. I grabbed that hand,
too – then held it up next to the first one. I raised my eyebrows at her as I
gripped both of her wrists with one hand, and then used the other one to run the
full length of her body.
“Oh…Edward…”
“Yeah, we’ll see who’s going to come in their pants now, huh?”
“I’m not wearing any pants.”
“Panties then.”
I ran my free hand over each of her breasts, still looking into her eyes as I
moved over her body. Once my hand got to her stomach, I cupped her sex for a

moment through the fabric of her dress, and then dropped lower to pull the
dress up higher.
It didn’t have to go a lot higher – the fucker had to be the shortest dress I had
ever seen. I loved it.
My fingers ran down her leg to the edge of her stockings, then around the hem
to the inside of her hand and up until I could feel the heat of her core against my
fingers. Her little tiny g-string panties were damp, and I pushed the triangle of
fabric out of my way to I could reach her clit.
Bella whimpered, and I covered my mouth with hers. Our tongues reached for
each other’s, the slow caresses of the previous night replaced by a singular
urgency. My fingers circled, retreated, and danced against her clit as she
pushed her hips against my hands. I moaned into her mouth as I felt her getting
wetter and wetter, and then slid my fingers deep inside of her with one thrust.
Bella’s head tipped back, banging lightly into the wall. I kissed her neck, her
jaw, and then her ear. Bella moaned and writhed as I worked my fingers in and
out of her.
“You like that, huh?” I growled against her neck. My fingers began moving
faster and faster – in and out of her wet, slick pussy as my thumb circled around
her clit, dropping down sometimes to collect her juices again.
“God…yes…yes…please!”
I shoved my chest against hers – still keeping my hips back so I could finger her
better – and my mouth latched on to the edge of her jaw. I wanted some friction
against my stiff cock, but it would just have to wait. I wanted her to come first.
Maybe second as well. Then I was going to lay her on her back and take myself
home again. At least, that was the plan.
Plans can change pretty quickly.

Just when things are going pretty well, and you start thinking maybe life isn’t
completely out to get you, that’s when the rug gets pulled out from under you.
That’s when you realize that gigantic glacier you’ve been picking your way
across has started to melt, and you’re about to fall into a giant ice cave. That’s
when the proverbial shit hits the proverbial fan. You can have every step of the
next few minutes completely planned out in your head, and they can slowly fade
to black as fate rolls the dice and comes up with snake eyes.
It all happened so fucking fast, but at the same time, it was weird how
everything slowed down all of the sudden and become crystal clear.
I saw Bella’s glazed eyes as they started to roll back into her head, and her body
clenched down on my fingers.
I heard the tiny pinging sound of glass shattering.
I heard the almost-not-there whistle of a tiny missile flying through the air.
I felt the burn of the bullet as it sliced into my skin.
I remembered I never did turn my phone back on again.
Oh shit.
I’d just been shot, right?
Chapter 86
The back of my neck was burning, but all that went through my head was Bella.
She’s not safe…not safe…not safe…
I was such a fucking idiot. I had let everything I had been feeling for her – with
her – take over all my logical thought, and had all but forgotten our actual
predicament. I had forgotten the most important thing, which was keeping her
safe. My arms went around her, and I flung her down to the ground, covering
her with my body as much as I could.

“Edward!”
“Shut up!” I hissed. “Stay down! Don’t fucking move!”
She whimpered, but did as I said. Whoever was shooting wasn’t a great shot, or
I’d be dead. I reached up to the back of my neck, which really fucking hurt, but
seemed to only be a graze. My hand came back with blood on my fingers, but I
wasn’t gushing anywhere - definitely just grazed. I looked over to the little table
next to the bed, where my gun was sitting.
Fuck.
I had to get to it, but I couldn’t leave her.
My mind spun around as I tried to think – as I tried to react – but all I could do
was think about what an idiot I was for not remembering the person who had
tried to follow us from Germany, as well as whoever else might be after either
me or her. Now Bella could be hurt again, and there was no fucking way I
could let that happen. I took a deep breath, and started to raise myself up.
Maybe I could haul her across the floor with me; still keeping her covered while
I went for the gun.
I didn’t get the chance.
The door broke open, and splinters of wood flew in every direction. Again, I
pulled Bella close. I had fucked this up so bad, but there was no way I was
going to let anyone take her away and make her do anything she didn’t want to
do. They’d have to fucking kill me first.
Unfortunately, that probably wasn’t going to be very difficult.
The next words I heard both thrilled and condemned me.
“Release your hostage and get your hands where we can see them!”
Cops.
Fucking cops.
They wouldn’t hurt her.

Bella’s hands gripped my arms tightly, and I turned my head to look down into
her panicked eyes. I raised my hand off the floor long enough to brush the
edge of her cheek with my thumb.
“Release her, now!”
“They won’t hurt you,” I whispered to her. “You’ll be okay…but you have to
find Rosalie. You have to get that chip deactivated. You hear me?”
“No…no, Edward! I’ll explain…they won’t…they won’t…”
I shook my head as I heard the footsteps of several people walking farther into
the room and closer to where my body covered hers on the floor. I still didn’t
make a move to look at them. I did notice a decent sized pile of rose petals
under the corner of the bed, where the hotel staff had obviously missed them.
Bella made a strange, muffled sound in her throat.
“Shh…it’s okay,” I told her, stroking her cheek one more time. I wanted to tell
her more, and part of me begged to say the words I wanted to say to her, but I
didn’t.
“I won’t let them take you!” Bella said with fervor.
“You can’t stop them,” I replied.
“Like hell I can’t!” she snapped, and then she looked up over my shoulder with
heat in her eyes. A heat the dimmed quickly, her eyes widening first in shock,
and then elation.
The next word after that blasted through my torso and had the potential to have
left me bleeding out as much as any bullet could have.
“Daddy!”
I moved to one side as she scrambled out from under me. I heard shouting, but
didn’t completely make out the words, though my subconscious must have taken
over to some degree, because I placed my hands on top of my head when they
told me to. My fingers were still wet from being inside of her, they were

covered in her scent. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply right before I felt my
arms being wrenched behind me, one after the other, and I heard the distinctive
click of handcuffs.
Someone up there hates me, right?
_________________________________
Chapter 87
“You are under arrest for the kidnapping and rape of Isabella Swan.”
There was a long list of other charges – accessory to human trafficking,

possession of an illegal firearm, possession of fraudulent identification, blah blah
blah.
I stopped listening.
“I didn’t rape her,” I kept saying. “It was consensual.”
“Statutory rape, then,” the officer sneered after I repeated myself for the tenth
time.
“She’s nineteen,” I snapped back at him.
He snorted.
“She turned eighteen two days ago.”
My eyes snapped shut as all the little jigsaw pieces fell together. Another year
of high school, her guarded looks when I mentioned her turning nineteen…
“Her birthday was the first time,” I said. “She’ll confirm that.”
He snorted again, and since I refused to make any further comment, he

eventually locked me up in a cell and left me alone.

Extradition from France happened a lot faster than I would have thought, and
before I could truly even wrap my head around what was happening I was back
in the states and awaiting a bond hearing. I hadn’t seen Bella since she was
taken out of the room in the arms of her father.
Everything inside of me just felt…dead. It didn’t take me long to realize it was

the way I had always felt before I had ever heard if Isabella Swan. The feeling
was almost comfortable, and certainly very familiar.
My attorney, Garrett Milton, sat across the table from me and read over the list
of charges while I smoked the first cigarette I had been allowed since I was
taken from France.
“The girl is being extremely uncooperative, which is good,” he said.
“Bella,” I growled.
“What?”
“She has a name, fucker.” I turned my eyes up to him and watched him flinch
back a little. “It’s Bella. Not the girl. Got it?”
“Sure,” he said with a nod.
Garrett filled in a lot of the holes for me. Lee Stephens – private investigator
hired by her father – had obviously managed to track us to Germany. He and
his assistant lost us, though, and how they found out exactly where we were in
Paris was still a bit of a mystery. I had a sneaking suspicion I knew how,
though.
I asked Garrett if he could get my phone. It cost about ten grand in bribes, but
he brought it during our next meeting. The first thing I did was to listen to the
four voice mails from R.H. on the phone.
“Time to bug, E. We got a mole.”
“You better fucking call me back. J. Jenks knows B’s father.”

“Call me. Now!”
“They’re on their way. Long-range shooter in tow.”
The only thing that surprised me was the name – J. Jenks, the document man.
Jasper had used him for years. I tapped the phone until I brought up the recent
history.
There it was.
September 13th at 17:47 – there was a single three minute call to a Washington
area phone number. I would have been in the shower, getting ready for our
date.
More than time enough to trace.
I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath through my mouth, then
slowly let it out through my nose. I should have felt angry at her, but I didn’t. I
couldn’t.
“How old is she really?” I asked.
“She turned eighteen earlier this month.”
I reached behind my neck and scratched at the bandage there. The supposed
sharp shooter claimed he had intended to only graze me, but I was willing to be
Bella’s father had requested a kill shot.

“She’s definitely giving them problems,” Garrett continued. “They wanted to be
able to treat her as a hostile witness, but then they found out you somehow got
legally married before you left the country they had to throw that out the
window. Until the marriage is declared void, she can’t be forced to testify
against you. Not sure how you pulled that one off. Of course, it would never
stand up long-term, but it’s election time and the Prosecutor is up for reelection
next month…”
When it came right down to it, after all of Garrett’s babbling, the only charges
they thought they could make stick was the unauthorized transportation of a
minor out of the country and statutory rape.
“I didn’t have sex with her until her birthday,” I told him. Garrett just looked at
me.
“Edward, you know we’re alone here.”
“I’m telling you, I didn’t.”
“You didn’t sleep with the girl you bought for sex?”
“No…I just…look, I didn’t, all right?”
“Not even a blowjob?” Garrett snickered.
“Fuck.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Does that count?”
“Well…yeah,” Garrett said. “In the legal sense, anyway. But you haven’t
mentioned it to anyone, have you?”
He might have continued taking for quite some time after that, but I didn’t hear
him. I was fairly sure someone out of a Wiley Coyote cartoon had just run by
and dropped an anvil on my chest and shoved dynamite up my ass. I tried to
swallow, but my throat wasn’t working.
Blow jobs count, fucker.
And she didn’t want it.
She didn’t have any choice.

She thought Aro would kill her mother if she didn’t deep-throat me.
She thought I was going to kill her if she didn’t do everything I wanted.
And I wanted my cock sucked.
I couldn’t breathe.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
“I raped her.”
My head began to throb in my temples with a pain unlike anything I had ever
felt before. My vision blurred, and the room started spinning on me. I turned
and leaned over towards the floor just in time to avoid spewing lunch all over
the legal papers Garrett had so neatly spread out before us.
I raped her.
I raped Bella.
More lunch.
I started getting light-headed as my short, panting breaths began to over-

oxygenating my brain.
Blow jobs count.
I raped her.
Oh God.
I raped Bella.
I did.
Me.
Oh God.

Everything went dark, and I felt myself hit the floor.
I deserved whatever I got, right?
___________________________________
Chapter 88
Garrett Milton sat next to me and flipped through a bunch of documents,

grumbling under his breath the entire time. The prosecuting attorney, Phil
Dwyer, shuffled in the door and plopped down across from me, followed by his
assistant – a little dark haired guy with dorky glasses and an armful of
paperwork.
I knew him. We’d been in court a few times before, but I had always been
exonerated. He hated me with a passion, and the feeling was definitely mutual.
The look in his eyes was nothing more than sheer glee now that he had his
sights on me again.
Garrett immediately started going through the list of charges and going on
about how there wasn’t enough evidence for this and that, and how he basically

suggested dropping everything and calling it a day. Dwyer looked at me as he
spoke to my attorney, and spouted a bunch of bullshit about how much evidence
they had, testimony from the victim’s parents, the PI’s report…blah blah blah.
I took a cigarette out of my pocket.
“There’s no smoking in here,” Dwyer informed me. I looked into his eyes while
I lit up.
“Fucking sue me.”
He just glared at me and leaned forward with his elbows on the table. He was
about to speak, but I beat him to it.
“What do you really want, Phil?” The man hated having defendants call him by
his first name. It was his own little power trip, and I could read the shock in his
assistant’s eyes that I could possibly be so bold.
He glared at me some more, but didn’t respond.
“Come on,” I prompted, “just spit it out. You want me behind bars, right?”
“I would very much like to see that,” he admitted with a nod.
“Well,” I said as I blew smoke right into his face, “now’s your chance.”
“Edward-” Garrett started to say.
“Shut the fuck up, Garrett.” I didn’t look at my attorney, but kept my eyes on
Dwyer. “I’m going to offer you a deal you can’t refuse, because you know there
isn’t really enough evidence against me, and your only real witness is refusing to
testify. High profile case, election year – you can’t afford the loss of votes if I’m
set free.”
“I’ve got pictures of you with holding a teenage girl against the wall with your
fingers shoved in her,” he snapped. “I’d say that’s evidence.”
“She was over eighteen, and I bet she’s already told you that was consensual.”
He didn’t respond.

“So here’s the deal,” I said. “I plead guilty to rape in the second degree, you
drop everything else.”
“I need a moment with my client,” Garrett suddenly called out.
“No.” Dwyer and I said at the same time.
“Plea bargaining, Cullen?” he snickered. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch,” I told him. “I go to prison, which is what you want, you get your
votes, all other charges dropped. Everyone’s happy.”
“There’s no way you’re just giving this to me,” he said.
It’s not for you, fucker.
I didn’t respond out loud, but I did blow smoke in his face again. He leaned
back to get away from it, but still ended up coughing while I smirked at him.
“It’s the only way you are going to get me,” I said softly. “You know the chances
of me getting off completely are there – you don’t have enough to tie me to
anything other than a firearms possession and maybe the lame-ass
transportation of a minor bullshit. That’s what? A year? Maybe? A little extra
community service? You won’t even be able to get those to stick if I decide not
to let you.”
“There’s plenty against you,” he insisted.
“Whatever,” I replied. “Take it or leave it.”
“Cullen,” Dwyer said as he leaned forward on the table to look at me over his
half-moon glasses. “I’ve been trying to put you away for years. I can’t say this
is exactly how I thought this would go down, but I’m going to take what I can
get.”
“I need a moment with my client…”
“Fuck you,” I growled back, finally looking over to Garrett. He was obviously
livid.
“Edward, we’re not-”

“You’re fired.” I said.
About four minutes of tense silence ensued before Garrett Milton stood up,
tossed his papers in his briefcase and walked out of the cramped little office.
Dwyer’s assistant was filling out a bunch of paper, which he then handed over
to his boss. Dwyer gave them the once over, and then signed his name at the
bottom before pushing them across the table to me.
I barely looked at them before I signed.
“We can set up the sentencing hearing for two weeks from today,” Dwyer said.
“You’re still under surveillance based on the terms of your bail, so don’t be
stupid and try to skip out on me now.”
“I know that.”
He stood up and his assistant followed suit. I stayed right when I was, finishing
my cigarette and not really having anywhere else to go, anyway.
“I assume you will find another attorney to represent you?”
“Yeah, sure,” I mumbled. He nodded.
“I have to ask,” Dwyer said to me as he was leaving, “why now? After all this
time, why are you now pleading guilty?”
I just looked at him, not willing to give him a response even if I had a reasonable
one to give. I probably could fight this, and he knew it. I could probably walk
out of here with a hung jury, but I wasn’t going to. I couldn’t stand up in a
courtroom with her there and plead innocent to what I had done to her.
I just couldn’t.
I knew Garrett Milton would be pissed when I offered the plea bargain, which
is why I didn’t tell him before hand. He was already so sure he could get me
off. I figured I had already gotten off more than my fair share of times. Pun not
really intended, but it did turn my stomach. I didn’t puke again – you have to
be able to eat to have something to throw up.

The rest of the day I stayed in that little office and tried to get another attorney,
only to find that my bank accounts had pretty much disappeared. All of them.
There were only about four people who could have gotten access to that info,
and considering all my other businesses were now apparently being run by
McCarty, I had a pretty good idea what had happened to them. The tech
company was still in my name, but the assets had been seized pending
investigation.
Every phone number I tried was no longer in service.
So two weeks later I found myself in the courtroom with a public defender,
which was pretty much a joke. I didn’t care though. I didn’t care how much
time I did. It would never be enough. Nothing would ever be enough.
My eyes never left the table in front of me with its little bottle of water and
manila envelope filled with copies of the papers I had signed. The public
defender stood up at the appropriate time and entered in my guilty plea. I
barely listened as Lee Stephens took the stand, followed by Bella’s father and
mother. They all told their stories to the judge in hopes of getting me the
maximum sentence in this state.
Right as the judge made me stand as she pronounced sentence, I heard the soft
creek of the door in the back of the courtroom. I didn’t have to look – I knew it
was her. I could feel her eyes on me, and my breath was gone again. I wanted
to turn around and look at her – just to see her and know she was okay – but
that’s when the judge said my name.
“Edward Anthony Cullen,” she stated. “You have been found guilty of second
degree rape. Considering all the other information provided by the testimony
here today, I am not inclined to offer you any leniency. Therefore, you are
hereby sentenced to ten to fifteen years in the federal penitentiary, the maximum
sentence allowable by this state. Your sentence will begin immediately.”
The bailiff walked over alone with two other armed guards. They turned me
around to place me in the handcuffs, and that is when I saw her.

She was so, so beautiful, and so, so young. She wasn’t in the dressy clothing she
had worn all the time she was with me, but in a simple pair of jeans and a
hooded sweatshirt with her hair pulled up in a ponytail on the top of her head.
She looked very much like the high school student she was. Her eyes were
wide, and her head was slowly shaking from side to side.
All I could do was stare at her as they pulled me away.
The pain in my chest, which had remained pretty constant since the day I
understood what I had really done to her doubled, and the pressure was enough
to make me stumble against one of the guards. She deserved so much out of
life, and I had fucked that up beyond belief. She was everything, and she
deserved to see the man who raped her punished for what he did.
She had to know that I did it for her, right?
______________________________________
Chapter 89:
All prison hallways should be referred to as gauntlets.
Various yells, comments, and even fucking singing were thrown out at me as I
was led between two long rows of cells to number 242D. There was an
electronic buzz, the door slid to one side, the guard released my wrists from the
handcuffs, and I was pushed inside.
At least it was a single cell.
I sat down on the edge of the cot, rubbed my wrists, and stared at the cement
floor. The ride from the city to the state penn had taken most of the day, and it
was only ten minutes after I was placed in my new home when lights out was
called, and I was thrown into darkness.
I didn't sleep.

I probably should have spent the night contemplating my missed steps in life to
figure out just what I could have done to steer myself in the right direction, or
some similar bullshit. I didn't. I didn't think of anything. I didn't feel anything.
I was numb, and the feeling was quite welcome.
When the lights came back on, I was still on the same spot. I blinked my eyes a
few times, but otherwise didn't move. One of the guards came walking down
the aisle, taking and giving insults back and forth with the other prisoners. The
electronic buzz sounded again, and the door to my cell opened. I didn't move.
A few minutes later, the guard paused at my door.
"New guy!" he called out. "Cullen, right?"
I just nodded.
"Time for breakfast, Cullen."
I turned my head and looked him over. He was about my age, a little shorter
but very muscular. I guess you would need to be.
"Do I have to go?" I asked.
The guard shook his head.
"You should," he told me. "It only gets served once."
I didn't really have any other grand plans for the day, so I followed the line of
inmates to breakfast, avoided speaking to anyone, and tried to force myself to
eat something.
It didn't work.
I spent most of the day in the courtyard not watching other guys play at
basketball and hacky-sack. What I really wanted was a smoke, but I didn’t
know where to get one. Finally, I saw the guard who had taken me to
breakfast, and I asked him where some smokes could be obtained. He glanced
around the courtyard, then pulled one out of his pocked and handed me a
match. I found a bench that was off around the side of the yard, partially

hidden from everyone else and sat back to smoke. The sun was warm on my
face, and I just closed my eyes while I sat there.
I had maybe smoked half of it when the warmth disappeared, and I opened my
eyes to find a really, really big guy standing in front of me.
“Hey new guy,” he said. His voice was menacing at the very least. There were
others coming up behind them – six others.
You know that little down in the pit of your stomach feeling of dread? Yeah, I
had that.
“What cha in for?” he asked as he tilted his bald head to one side.
“Um…”I stammered. “A few things, I guess.”
I tried to shrug it off, but I knew…I knew it wasn’t going to work. Three of the
guys moved to my right, further blocking the view of the rest of the yard.
“Like what?”
“You know,” I tried to laugh it off. “A little of this, a little of that.”
“I heard he likes fucking little girls,” one of the guys in the back piped up.
Oh shit.
I looked up to the face on the guy in front of me, though I couldn’t see him well
with the sun right behind him. I considered trying to explain, but there
wouldn’t be any point.
“Is that so?” he said as he took a half step towards me. I tried to remain as calm
as I could, slowly inhaling my cigarette and not making it obvious that I was
looking for some direction to run or the eye of a guard to catch. I didn’t see
either.
My cigarette dropped, burning the edge of my arm as he suddenly reached

forward and grabbed my hair, using it to pull my head backwards and to the
side. His foul breath crawled over me as he leaned forward.
“I got a daughter, you sick son of a bitch,” he snarled. “Get him on the ground.”

Even if I could have fought off this many of them, I knew this was going to
happen.
My shoulders were wrenched down towards the cement, and I felt my cheek
tear as it hit the edge of the bench and then the blacktop below. As the pain
ripped through me, all I could think about was Bella and what she had been
through because of me. Nothing I did – not killing Aro, or James, or any of the
others could take that away from her memories. I had raped her…guilty as
charged. Now I was being punished.
An eye for an eye, right?
________________________________
Chapter 90:
I could hear a lot of yelling and screaming, and I felt my arms being released as
I slumped down to the ground right before I blacked out. I woke up in the
prison infirmary feeling about as shitty physically as I already did mentally.
It helped, actually.
I opened my eyes and looked into a strangely familiar tanned face.
“Hey Edward,” he said, and the sound alone made my head feel like it had just
spilt open and a yoke fell out of it. “Remember me?”
He really did look familiar. Fucking huge guy, too. He was really tan, and had
black hair and eyes.
“Um…Seth?”
“Yeah!” He literally beamed from ear to ear. That hurt my head, too. “Don’t
try to move or anything, okay? You got pretty…um…beat up.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t really care to have any further elaboration on the topic.

“Don’t worry, man,” Seth said. “You gave me a job when I needed it, so I
already made it clear to the rest of them – they don’t come near you, or they
have to deal with me, ya know?”
It was coming back to me a bit – Seth ran guns for me four or five years ago,
then became part of Alice’s pack after that. He got himself caught because he
couldn’t stop joyriding in expensive cars. Alice got sick of bailing him out, and
let him take the time for grand theft instead. That had been eight months ago.
After two days in the infirmary, Seth pretty much stayed at my side wherever I
went. At nearly six and a half feet tall, and built like he did nothing but life
weights all day, no one seemed too interested in messing with him. I got the
same treatment defacto.
Life in prison is weird when it comes to the relative nature of time.
Days absolutely crawl by – like, it takes about six hours for every minute to
pass. But at the same time, days and weeks just kind of magically disappear.
There’s so little to actually mark any change from one day to another that very
small things tend to stand out. When someone got a letter from someone who
loved them on the outside, or maybe a visit from someone, everyone listened to
it. It ranked a lot higher than television.
In my first year of incarceration, I had exactly two visitors and one letter.
The first to visit was my public defendant. He had a lot of paperwork for me to
sign, including an annulment for my marriage to Isabella Cullen. He told me
the options were to either sign it, or they’d have to go through months or maybe
years and possibly fraud charges against one or both of us to have it completely
voided. I didn’t want Bella to have to deal with that, so I just signed them and
tried to pretend it didn’t make me grow even colder inside.
The second visit was from a Ms. Mary Brandybuck. Ms. Brandybuck looked a
lot more like Alice Brandon than a hobbit, but I guess that didn’t raise as much
suspicion at the visitor’s desk. I was brought to the visiting room and placed in

a little cubicle with an orange phone hanging on the pegboard wall. I picked up
the receiver, and Alice did the same.
“I’m honored,” I said dryly.
Alice smirked and glared all at once.
“Just wanted to let you know everything’s good on the outside,” she told me.
“Got all the chips in barbecue flavor, I assume?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t being
too cryptic.
“No problem at all,” she replied. “Our mutual techie friend lives for that kind of
shit you know.”
I nodded, and then I looked into Alice’s eyes, rimmed with heavy black
eyeliner. The flecks of gold in her hazel irises glimmered in the harsh
fluorescents. They were not the least bit friendly as they narrowed at me.
“I’ll have you know,” she said as she leaned in a little closer, “that from the very
beginning of all of this, I fully intended to complete this job by ending you.”
I felt the blood drain from my face.
“But seeing you here now, I kind of think this is more fitting.”
I nodded a little. Yeah, honestly, I’d take the bullet right now. Alice leaned in
even closer to the Plexiglas.
“You been fucked over yet?”
I looked up. The glimmer was still in her eyes. I nodded once.
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
She slammed the phone back in its holder, then stood up, turned on her heel and
walked out of the room.
The letter though…the letter was different.

It was from Bella.
It came shortly before the calendar marked my first year in prison. It had
obviously been opened and examined and then sealed up again, but I didn’t
care.
Edward,
I wish I knew what to say to you, but I don’t. I want to explain everything, but
I don’t think it really makes any difference now. I want you to know that I
didn’t expect you to do this, but I think I understand why you did.
When I wouldn’t testify against you, everyone was so angry with me, especially
my dad. The prosecutor and another police officer kept yelling at me until my
dad finally told them they couldn’t talk to me anymore. I figured out they
couldn’t make me testify since we were married, and it would take too long to
get the whole marriage license revoked. I thought it would mean they would
have to drop the charged, but then they said you were going to plead guilty and
I didn’t know what to do.
I know everything that happened was my fault, and I’m so sorry. I know they
found us because I called home. I know how stupid that was now, but I just
couldn’t think of them going through that whole day thinking I was probably
dead. I couldn’t do that to them. I didn’t really think they could trace the call
like that, and I thought it would take more time to do it, and we’d already be on
our way back.
I wanted to see you, but no one would let me. I had to actually sneak out of the
hotel and walk twenty blocks to get to your hearing at all, and then when I got
there it was too late. I wanted to at least be able to talk to you before they took
you away, but as soon as you were walked out my parents put me on a plane
back to Washington. I don’t have enough money for a plane ticket, and I’m
pretty sure my truck isn’t going to make it all the way there. I want to see you.
I want to talk to you – I really do. I just haven’t figured out how yet.
Someone you know came to visit me while we were still waiting for your trial.
She used some funny little thing that looked like a remote control near my head,

and said it worked. I wanted you to know that. I wanted you to know that
everything you did for me worked out. You saved me. I know you did, and I
hope you know it, too.
I asked one of the guys at my dad’s station about prison sentences and how long
before you could really be out. He told me you could be out in eight years.
That’s not really so long, is it? I promise I will come and see you as soon as I
can figure out how.
Please be careful, and take care of yourself.
Love,
Bella
I lay down on my cot and held the letter next to my chest. I could almost smell
her on the paper, and hoped it would help me sleep. It really didn’t, and even
after lights out, I kept holding it up to try and re-read it in the green glow of the
emergency lighting outside the cell, which didn’t work well. Finally I lay back
on the pillow with the paper underneath my head. I took my hand and lay it
against my cheek, slowly brushing stray hairs from my forehead and rubbing
my own temple.
I could at least remember and pretend, right?
__________________________________
Author’s notes:
I hate long author’s notes, but I wanted to respond to a few questions at least.
This chapter should help with some of them anyway, but to clear the air – the
blowjob was rape in every sense of the word, and it can fit the definition of
second degree rape. Edward’s sentence is appropriate for that crime. First
degree rape can carry a 40 year to life sentence in some states. he also PLEAD
GUILTY, which means they don't need any witnesses or really even proof. He's
admitted to the crime, so he does the time. It was his choice.

Bella is young and naïve, and acts like a young, naïve girl. Her parents are
probably acting the same way most parents would - doing anything and
everything to keep her safe in their own minds.
Edward has no friends - Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose were nothing more
than business associates who only knew Edward as a cold-hearted criminal who
bought a girl for his own use. They know nothing of Edward’s past or how he
has changed.
“Why are you here, Edward?”
Chapter 91
I was sitting outside in the courtyard just smoking and generally trying to not
think. Sometimes that worked, other times it didn’t. I still had the letter Bella
sent me in my pocket – I hadn’t let it away from my person in the whole week
since I had received it. I didn’t know how many times I had read it, and I knew
a lot of it still didn’t really register in my head. Part of me had decided I would
never hear from her again – it had been so long – but at that point I just didn’t
know how to react to it.
I was just getting back to my cell when one of the guards handed me four more
envelopes.
“Looks like your lucky day, Cullen.”
All of them had been opened and, presumably, read. When I looked over the
envelopes, I could see they were all cancelled in Port Angeles, Washington, but
there was no return address.
The cancel dates were November, December, January and February. Nearly a
year ago for the first one. There were things inside of it – a folded piece of
paper and a card from a library card catalog with The Merchant of Venice on
the back of it.

I hadn’t even looked at the envelope from the first letter I received.
I found out they were taking the letters I was sending you out of the mail. I
didn’t know. I’m mailing this from the library where I work in another city, but
I only come her one day a month. I hope you get it.
I unfolded the paper, and read it, too, with my heart pounding in my chest.
Edward,
Everything I do is being monitored by my parents, and it’s driving me crazy.

I’m seeing a counselor, which wouldn’t be so bad if they would stop telling me
not to try and contact you. I’m not even sure if I’m sending these to the right
address, or if you are getting them. Please try to write me back. I miss you so
much, and when I think about what it must be like for you right now…well, I
just can’t think about it. I can only hope it isn’t as bad as the movies and
television make it out to be.
I keep thinking maybe I should have testified, but when they said I could be a
hostile witness it sounded like I would only make it worse for you. Then you
plead guilty, and they didn’t even tell me you were doing that. I couldn’t get to
you. I wanted to – I swear I did.
I think about you all the time. I haven’t left you, Edward. Please remember
that.
Love,
Bella
The next three letters assured me that she was okay, and was surviving her
senior year in high school. Each one asked me to write to her, just so she knew
I was getting her letters. Six more arrived the next day, all with similar themes.
I read them over and over until my eyes blurred with overuse, and I finally fell
asleep.

If someone managed to remind me it is either Monday or Thursday, I went to
group therapy for sexual
offenders. It was part of my
sentence to attend the meetings,
but not to actually participate,
which was good, because I
never said anything.
I didn’t listen to the other

participants, and just let the
droning sound of their voices
barely penetrate as I sat there
and ignored everyone. When
the hour was up, I stood and
started to head outside for a smoke.
“Edward, will you stay a minute, please?” Ms. Whatever-her-name-was asked.

I shrugged and sat back down in the blue plastic chair. “I can’t help but notice
that you do not talk in group.”
I shrugged. Still looking for the contest – I was pretty sure I could win now.
“You do realize my recommendation can help with parole, right?”
I shrugged again. Parole was a long fucking ways away.
“Why don’t you speak in group?” she asked, a little more forcefully.
I looked up at her and considered shrugging again, just so she could get an idea
of how good I was at it.
“I don’t have anything to say,” I told her. “I’m not like these guys.”
“You aren’t here for a sexual offence?”
I went back to shrugging.
“Don’t you know all that?” I snarked back at her.

“No, I don’t look into the inmates files,” she told me. “I would rather form my
own opinions. I only know what you tell me, but you haven’t told me anything
in the past eleven months since you joined. That’s a lot of silence, and I’m
starting to take it personally.”
I wasn’t going to be baited with her lame idea of a joke.
“Would you be willing to meet with me privately?” she asked.
“Why?”
“I was rather hoping you would speak to me if there was no one else listening.”
I don’t know why I agreed, but I did.
I picked at my lunch. It wasn’t just a matter of how awful the food is – and it
was awful – it was more because every other thing on the menu was some form
of a burger. Every time I saw one I was brought back to Tanya the vegetarian
in high school, and my thoughts at the time. Maybe some fucker was going to
sit down and eat that burger, but it wasn’t going to be me. Not anymore.
Today was only different because I was about to have my first meeting with
Irina, the counselor from the group. I still didn’t know why I agreed to do it,
and I was still thinking about backing out. The group sessions were required –
personal ones weren’t. I didn’t know why I would put myself through such a
thing, except that there really wasn’t anything else to do.
There was a little office next to the infirmary where Irina met with inmates one-
on-one. It was tiny, and I kind of thought it used to be a good sized closet
before it was converted into a meeting place. I sat across from her and wished
there was a window or something I could stare out of instead of just looking at
my hands.
“You said you weren’t like the others in the group,” she started. “Would you tell
me why you don’t think you are?”
“Not really.”

A little silence.
“Why are you here, Edward?”
“I raped a seventeen year old girl,” I said bluntly.
“Don’t you think that makes you right for my group, then?”
I didn’t know how to answer.
“It just…wasn’t like that,” I finally said.
“What was it like then?”
I looked up to her, and was kind of surprised that her eyes didn’t hold the
disgust and condemnation I would have expected. She leaned forward a little.
“Edward, you are already in prison,” she said. “Unless you tell me you are
going to hurt someone else or yourself, anything you tell me is protected. You
are my patient, and you are not going to get in further trouble if you tell me
what happened.”
I sat in the chair and tried to focus on keeping the little lunch I had eaten down.
“You aren’t taking care of yourself,” she stated. “You’ve lost weight since you
got here.”
Yeah, I probably had. Whatever.
“I want to help you, Edward,” she said. “But you have to let me.”
“Help me do what?”
“Help you get ready to leave this place and go out to lead a normal life.”
I didn’t know why, but those words hit me – hard. I had stopped thinking about
the future completely. I never thought as far as the next hour, let alone what I
might do when I got out of here. There was no life to return to once I left, and I
told her as much.
“Everyone has potential, Edward. Even you.”

I wanted to argue with her – I was probably the last person in this entire place
who had any potential what-so-ever. I was a career criminal, and I didn’t know
anything else. I also knew I was not a career criminal anymore, and that I
would never return to that life.
“If you could have one thing when you left here, what would it be?”
It was the first easy question she asked.
“Bella.”
“That sounds like a woman’s name,” she said. I nodded in response. “If you
walked out of here today, and she was standing at the gates by the road, how
would you want her to see you?”
I went cold – colder than I had when I realized the extent of what I had done.
Colder than when they hauled me out of the courtroom. Colder than the first
day here.
“Not like this,” I whispered.
My hands started shaking, and I balled them into fists to make it stop as Bella’s
written words echoed through my mind.
I haven’t left you, Edward.
I looked up at Irina’s blue eyes and felt my heart start to beat again. Maybe if I
told her everything – everything – she could help me figure it all out. Maybe
she could help me figure out what I should do. Maybe I could look a little
farther ahead. Maybe somewhere in the future I could be in Bella’s life again.
Irina could help me, right?

Chapter 92:
I told her everything.
I told her about buying a girl for sex, raping her, killing a dozen people in some
fucked up idealistic view that it might absolve me of my involvement, and falling
in love with my victim. I told her absolutely everything.
I thought maybe I would feel better afterwards.
I didn’t.
“That’s a lot to absorb all at once, Edward,” Irina said after I signified I was
done by adding a little Porky Pig impersonation at the end of my story. “I have
to admit it.”
“How do I fix it?” I asked, and my words echoed in my own head, because I
remembered asking Alice the same thing back in the beginning of all this mess.
“What does fixed look like to you?”
Fucking answering fucking questions with fucking questions. Lovely.
“Make it never happen,” I finally said.
“That would be nice,” she agreed. “Not possible, but a nice thought. What
about something in the realm of possibility?”
“I guess I can’t fix it.”
“Not in that way, no.” Irina leaned back in her chair and tossed the pen she had
been playing with the whole time onto her notepad. I didn’t think she wrote a
single word down. “Will you meet with me again?”
“I guess so.” I shrugged.
“I need a little time to process all of this in my own head,” she told me as she
tapped her finger against her temple. “And I have some homework for you.”
“Homework?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yes, homework,” she smiled over the desk at me. “I want you to write down
where you want to be one year from your parole. Where are you? Who are
you with? What do you do for a living? Any or all of the above. If you don’t
want to write it out, you can always draw me a picture. I’ll set up another
appointment for next week.”
I went back to my cell with absolutely no idea what to write down. Once I had
sufficiently given myself a headache over it, I read all of Bella’s letters again –
twice. I lay back on the pillow as the lights went out, and wondered if I could
even come up with something that looked like a normal life. The trailer I grew
up in and the penthouse I ended up in – neither of them were real.
I didn’t know what real looked like.
The lights went out, and the guards yelled at a few people to shut up. I closed
my eyes, drifting off to images of suburban living that looked like they came
right out of Edward Scissorhands .
My fingers feel warm as I slip them through hers. I bring her hand up to my
lips, kissing the backs of her knuckles one at a time. I love the way our hands
look all intertwined together. She smiles at me, and swings our arms between us
as we step on to the private jet to take us…wherever we are going.
The she is pushing me back against the sea,t and my clothes are gone, and as the
plane takes off, she straddles me, and her warm skin is up against my hands as
they explore her body. It is both comfortable and familiar, yet there is no way I
would ever grow tired of it.

My hands slide down to her backside, lifting her up and slowly positioning her
over the tip of my cock. I bury myself in her silky warmth as her hand lays
against the side of my head. She sets the rhythm, moving her hips slowly so I’m
just sliding back and forth inside of her. I wrap one arm around her back and
hold her closer to me as I feel myself get closer to ecstasy…
“Come on, Cullen! You gotta eat sometime!”
I squeezed my eyes against the searing light, rolled over to one side, and started
another day.
Irina was waiting pretty patiently, but I had yet to hand her my homework,
even though I had been there for a good five minutes now and had the damn
thing in my hand.
“Does it embarrass you?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe.”
“Why?”
“It’s just…stupid.”
“Is it what you want for your future?”
I could only nod as Irina leaned across her desk and tilted her head to look at
me.
“Please?”
I tried to glare at her, but it really wasn’t working. I finally sighed, tossed the
single sheet of notebook paper at her, and then leaned back in the seat. I glared
at a spot on the wall just for good measure. I tried not to watch her expression
as she looked at the drawing.
“Edward, this is very expressive,” she finally said after about three and a half
hours of staring at it. All right, it might have been a minute and a half, but it

sure as hell felt like three hours. My chest was tightening up again, and I
wanted to get the fuck out of there.
She lay the paper face up on the desk and gestured to it.
“You have some talent here, Edward,” she said. “Drawing hands is really hard.
Drawing two hands with their fingers all laced together like this is especially
difficult. But there’s more to it than just the quality of the drawing, do you
know that?”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t actually even move.
“Edward, I’m going to ask you an extremely cliché question,” Irina said. “I
hope you’ll talk to me about it anyway.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Will you tell me about your mother?”
Oh this was going to be interesting, right?

Chapter 93
We talked for weeks.
I don’t think I had ever talked so much in my life. Sometimes I had to stop and
drink half a bottle of water before I could talk anymore.
I told Irina everything I could remember about growing up in the trailer. I told
her about dropping out of school and driving the trucks full of gun shipments. I
told her about taking over the business through blood and threats of blood.
She always asked the same questions – whether I was talking about my mom
making lunch, my dad yelling, or putting a bullet in someone’s scull – what were
you thinking at the time? How did you feel about it afterwards?
The answer with always the same.
Nothing.
“Until you bought Bella.”
“Until I bought Bella.”
“What was different?”
“At first? Nothing, really,” I told her. I mean, I was frustrated and ticked off
about the whole thing, because I was so unprepared. I was used to being
prepared for whatever was going to happen, and I wasn’t. I’d fucked it up. I
didn’t even have any clothes or anything for her.”
“At what point did you begin to feel guilty for what you had done?”
“Right after I raped her.”
Irina leaned back a little and started tapping her pen rapidly against the edge of
the desk. I had come to notice that she did this when she was trying to figure
out how to phrase her question.

“You didn’t recognize the act as rape at the time,” she pointed out. “Why do
you think you felt guilty then?”
“It’s when she started having nightmares.” I leaned forward and put my elbows
on my knees. I rubbed my fingers into my eyes. I didn’t understand how
talking could give me headaches, but it sure as hell did.
“I think we’re about done for today,” Irina said. “You look tired.”
I shrugged.
“Are you eating any better?”
I shrugged again. Still the fucking master.
”What did you eat for lunch?”
“There really wasn’t anything.”
She opened up a drawer and pulled out the menu schedule.
“It says here there was meatloaf, mashed potatoes with gravy and green beans,”
she read from the form. “Sounds like something.”
“I don’t…um…eat meat.”
“You’re a vegetarian?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“So what did you eat?”
“I ate some of the beans.”
“This morning?” she pressed.
“Cereal.”
“Last night?”
“Damn, woman,” I said, but I smiled at her a bit. “I had a roll and…I don’t
remember. Peaches or pears or something.”

“Have you asked for vegetarian meals?”
I gave my shoulders a bit more of a workout, and Irina sighed and ended our
session so she could go work with the group. I had been excused from the
group sessions, since Irina was working with me personally instead. I went to
the courtyard, smoked until we had to go back in, talked to Seth a little at
dinner, where I tried to eat peas, but honestly – I never liked the fuckers.
I went to bed at lights out, looking over the latest letter from Bella for the
fourteenth time. I had received it two days ago, though it was obvious from the
content it had been written six months ago. I had received two others that
weren’t as old as this one.
Hello Edward,
I graduated last week, and college is just around the corner. I tried to find one
that wasn’t too far from you, but there just isn’t any way I can afford to move
right now. I’m still hoping I’ll be able to move for my second year, but the first
one will be at the community college near my hometown. I got a better job
that’s close to school so I can get more hours. I’m living with my parents and
saving everything. I want to see you, and I’m trying – I really am.
I haven’t gotten any letters from you, and I’m pretty sure my dad has been
taking them before I can find them. He denied it, but I told him I knew they
were throwing out my letters to you. Funny – he admitted to that, but still
denied throwing yours out. I still work at the Port Angeles city library one
weekend a month – could you trying writing me there? I don’t think they
would throw out a letter if I got one there.
I miss you. I hope you are okay.
Love,
Bella
I pushed the paper back underneath my pillow along with the others. I always
carried most of them with me, but the no longer fit in my pockets very well, and
I didn’t want them noticed again. Not after the last time.

During my next session with Irina, she found out about the letter from Bella.
She was not exactly thrilled at the whole idea. Not at all, actually.
“What happened to your eye?”
“Fight,” I said with an award winning shrug.
“What were you fighting about?”
I didn’t answer.
“When you first arrived here, you were attacked,” she said about three minutes
after hello. “You spent a couple of days in the infirmary.”
“I’m not talking about that,” I said. I tried to talk a slow breath, but it wasn’t
working very well.
“You’ve been in two other fights since then,” she said. “One of those was six
months ago, the other last week. You aren’t a prison brawler, Edward – why
now?”
“He…tried to take something of mine.”
“What was it?”
I sighed and looked up to her blue eyes, and gave up. She had her determined
face on, and I had honestly not been very successful in getting away with silence
when she had that look on her face.
“A letter.”
“Who wrote to you?”
“Bella.”
For the first time, Irina was silent without the assistance of pen tapping.
“She writes to you?”
“Yeah.”
“How often?”

“Once a month, usually,” I answered. “It’s hard to tell, I usually get a couple of
them at a time, and the last one I got was from six months ago. I have fourteen
of them all together.”
“May I read them?”
We locked gazes as a little mini debate club started yelling back and forth at
each other in my head. Was it betraying Bella to let someone else read them?
Would it help Irina understand, and then she could help me, and I could get out
of here with a chance of at least being in her life in some way? Would Bella be
angry if someone else read them? Would Irina be angry at me for keeping them
from her?
I shook my head, trying to ward off the impending headache.
Fuck it.
I took out the six letters currently in my pocket and lay them down on the desk.
It couldn’t hurt, right?
Chapter 94:
I tried not to look at Irina’s face as she read the letters Bella sent to me. I didn’t
know what she would think, or what she would say, and the whole damn thing
made me nervous as hell.
“Edward, our session is almost up,” she finally said. I still didn’t look up. “May
I hold on to these?”
“No!” I looked up at her then, nearly jumped out of my chair and grabbed for
the ones sitting on her desk. She held one hand up in surrender mode, and the
other held out Bella’s letter. I grabbed it away from her, and sat back down,
holding them tightly in my hands.

The door slammed open behind me, and the guard who monitors the cameras
put his hand on my shoulder, held me against the back of the chair, and asked if
there was a problem. Irina just shook her head no, and told him everything was
fine. He looked down at me.
“You gonna behave yourself, Cullen?” he asked.
“Yeah, sure,” I responded.
He left after getting more reassurance from Irina, and she took a deep breath,
letting it out slowly.
“They must be pretty important to you,” she commented.
I didn’t see any reason to respond, so I didn’t. Our session ended, and I went
back to my normal routine. Smoke, eat a little, try to sleep, wake, smoke, do it
all again.
“Do you want to talk about the letters?”
It was the first thing she said after hello.
“What’s to say?” I asked.
“You said you didn’t receive the first one until you had been here for some
time,” she said. “What were you thinking about Bella before you saw it?”
“I wasn’t.”
“You weren’t what?”
“Thinking.”
“How about after you received it?” she pressed.
I scratched the back of my neck and fiddled with my hair.
“I guess I was glad she was okay,” I said. Irina didn’t respond, which usually
meant she was going to just sit there until I said something else. I sighed and

took a breath. “I was relieved, at first. Then I was just…I don’t know…I guess
I thought she had forgotten about me.”
“Do you think Bella could forget about you? You both went through a lot
together.”
“Yeah.” More silence from the other side of the desk. “I wish she could.”
“Could what?”
“Forget about me.”
“Why do you want that?”
“Because if she did, she’d forget all the other shit, too. She said she was in
therapy or whatever, and I didn’t want her to have to…live through all of that
again and again. If she forgot me, she’d be…better off.”
“The letters you have received from her are obviously very important to you,
considering your reaction to parting with them last week. It is your connection
not only to Bella, but to the outside world as a whole. You’re holding on to
them like some kind of lifeline.”
“She is my life,” I said quietly.
“She is thousands of miles away without the financial means to see you,” Irina
pointed out. “I don’t know what the detail of her therapy contains, but I’m not
surprised she has been advised not to contact you.”
“Why not?”
“Because at some point, you both need to heal,” she said. “What have you said
in letters back to her?”
I shrugged, and I felt a chill go up my spine.
“Edward, you don’t have to tell me, but I think it might help.”
“I haven’t sent her any,” I admitted.
“You haven’t responded to her at all? In a year and a half?”

I shook my head.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know what to say to her.”
The silence led to pen tapping this time.
“Have you received any other letters or visitors since you arrived?”
“No,” I said. I wasn’t going to count the visit from Alice.
“Would you like to?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean there are a lot of programs available here where people from the outside
– usually church groups – write to inmates. It’s kind of a pen-pal program, if
you will. You could be signed up to receive letters from these kids of groups. It
can help to have that kind of contact with others.”
“No,” I said without really thinking about it.
“Edward, a large part of your problem has to do with connecting to people,” she
said. Yeah, yeah, I’d heard this since I first talked about my childhood. “You
don’t have any relationships with other inmates except for Seth, who will be out
in six months. You don’t have any one contacting you outside of your victim.
You need to learn how to deal with people if you are ever going to get to the
point where you want to be.”
I didn’t respond this time – I didn’t know what to say. After a minute, Irina
opened up one of her desk drawers and placed a green, cellophane wrapped
something on the desk in front of me.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a veggie wrap,” she responded. “I brought it for lunch, but I wasn’t hungry
enough to eat it. Would you like it?”
Damn if my stomach didn’t growl right about then. Lunch had been non-
existent. I looked over to see Irina smiling a little, like she was trying to hold it

in. I closed my eyes and shook my head, then reached over and opened the
damn thing up. It was actually really good.
“Fine,” I told her when I was done with it. “I’ll be a fucking pen-pal.”
“Have you thought anymore about getting your GED?” Irina asked.
We had talked about it a few times, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to or not. She
kept asking me about it, though, and I finally asked what the point of it would
be.
“Part of being able to lead a normal life includes getting a job,” she said.
“Without a GED, and with your background, how are you going to do that?”
I sighed and sat back.
“I did run a legitimate company,” I finally said.
“Which has since dissolved,” she reminded me.
“I still ran it – that’s kind of a resume, isn’t it?”
She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows.
“Fine,” I relented. “I’ll do it.”
I passed on the first try.
Sessions with Irina were the only thing I actually looked forward to in the entire
week. It both made the other six days go slower and faster at the same time. I
swear to God, that woman had talked me into doing a hundred things I never
would have considered, including petitioning for vegetarian options on the
prison menu. I had yet to be successful, but she hadn’t let me give up yet.
There was only one thing she hadn’t talked me into, and that was writing any
letters.
“Did you get a letter this week?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I responded.
“From?”
“Pastor Lee,” I told her.
“That’s the third one from him, correct?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you written back yet?”
“I started to,” I told her.
“It’s not a pen-pal program if you don’t write back,” she reminded me…again.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“This all goes back to connecting with people, Edward,” she said. “You don’t
have to have some kind of phenomenal insight to share in order to just respond
to someone. Just try writing what you did all day, or what you might like to do
when you get out.”
“Yeah, that would be all kind of interesting,” I snorted. Set sarcasm to kill.
“It doesn’t have to be interesting,” she said…again. “Talk about the weather.
Talk about the food. Talk about Seth, current events – anything.”
“Every time I say something it’s wrong,” I told her. “If…if I piss him off…I
mean, I’m not religious or anything. If I piss him off with something I say…he
might…”
I trailed off.
“He might what?” she prompted.
“Stop writing to me.”
I glanced up at her, feeling the tightness in my chest now that I had admitted the
reason. My hands were starting the shake, and I placed one of them over my
pocket – trying to get some contact with Bella’s letters that lived there. The
same six had been in there for two months now.

“You haven’t received any more letters from Bella, have you?”
“Not since that last one.” I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice in check.
Since the first one I had received, I had gotten at least one from her every
month. The last one I received had been over two months ago, and the tone of it
had changed drastically. I still kept it in my pocket, but I never read it again.
“You still haven’t written to her.”
“No.” I put my hands back on my thighs and stared at them. “I still don’t know
what to say.”
Pen tapping. There was a lot of that going on recently.
“Do you want me to help you write it?”
I swallowed again – hard. My hands clenched and unclenched, and I cleared

my throat before speaking again.
“Would you?”
“I would be happy to.”
It couldn’t be that hard, right?
__________________________
Chapter 95:
I pulled Bella’s last letter out of my pocket and opened it up, trying to keep my
heart from pounding in my chest at the same time.
Edward,
I talked to my therapist last week. She always knew I was writing you, but I
wouldn’t really talk about it. This time, when she asked me what I had told you,
I decided to tell her what was in my letters. I figured it didn’t really matter. But
after I told her, she asked me a question and it made me think. You see, I only
told you about the things that I thought you would want to hear, and not

everything that has been going on. She asked me what you would really want
to hear, and what things I maybe should have been telling you, but wasn’t. She
told me if I was going to keep writing to you, I needed to be more honest about
it, because not telling you everything we doing a disservice to us both.
I thought about it a lot, and I think she was right. I haven’t been honest with
you, because I know where you are has to be horrible, and I didn’t want to
make you feel any worse. But I owe it to you to be honest, so here it goes.
I’ve been hospitalized three times for depression and suicide attempts. I don’t
think I ever intended to kill myself, really, but I just didn’t know how to cope
with everything. I’ve been on medication and in intensive therapy since I got
out the last time. I only barely finished high school because my parents hired
tutors to help me get through my exams, and the school let me take them late.
Between the tutors, the hospitalizations, and health insurance that doesn’t think
mental problems are worth covering, I pretty much ruined my family
financially. I’m still struggling with a ton of guilt because of that, and because of
what I did to you. I keep being told neither are my fault, and some days I agree,
other days I don’t. I still have nightmares.
The only job I have been able to keep is the library job. I can’t always make
myself get up I in the morning, so I lost the one at the sporting goods store. The
library was always really flexible about when I came in, and as long as I got my
hours in during the weekend, they didn’t really care what time I showed up.
My dad died of a heart attack two months ago. I blame myself for that, too. I
know how much stress I have put on him over the past year and a half, and I
know that hasn’t helped. Mom keeps telling me he always had high blood
pressure, but I know everything that happened to her and to me took their toll
on him as well.
I did get into the community college. I went there partially due to money, but
also because I graduated late and didn’t get any applications in on time. I trying
to study to be a teacher, but the classes are still pretty rough on me.

I’m still trying to get enough money together to come and visit you, but I need
at least $500, and I’m pretty sure my mom would kill me if I used it for plane
fair instead of schoolbooks right now. Once the insurance money comes
through from my Dad’s policy, I hope I will have enough, but they say that can
take up to a year.
I’m starting to think that you may not write me back. I don’t know why. I don’t
even know for sure if you are getting any of my letters. I still hope you are
okay. I still think about you every day. People still tell me I shouldn’t, but I
can’t help how I feel.
Some days I’m angry at you. I’m angry because of everything you did that
started all of this. I’m angry because I haven’t heard from you at all. I’m angry
that you plead guilty, when you probably could have found a way to get off, or
at least end up with a lesser charge. I also know you did it for me.
As for right now, mostly I’m confused. My therapist said you should have
received at least some of my letters, and you could have written me back at the
library, even if my dad had been throwing them out. I don’t know what I
should do. She keeps telling me I have to move on with my life – finish school,
go out on dates, be myself. I try – I really do. I have some good friends who
have supported me a lot. Not about everything, but they’re just worried about
me.
I just wish I knew what you were thinking. Maybe you are getting my letters,
and you just aren’t responding. Maybe you aren’t even reading them. Maybe I
am stupid and naïve, like so many people have said I am.
If you can, please write me back.
Love,
Bella
“Edward?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled back. My hands were shaking and making the paper shake,
too.
“Are you ready?”
“I still don’t know what to say.”
“What if she walked into this room right now?” Irina asked. “What would you
do?”
I had to think about that one.
“Tell her that her friends and her family are right, and she should move on.” I
rubbed my fingers into my temples. “And that I love her and I don’t want her to
ever give up on me.”
“Those two things don’t really fit together very well,” Irina said.
“I know.”
“Let’s see what we can come up with, okay?”
I don’t know how long it took us to write it, but Irina cancelled her group
session to help me finish it. I started over at least ten times, changing my mind
on the wording, and wanting to not have too many pencil scratching all over it.
When it was done, I read it again and again.
Bella,
I don’t know what to say to you. That’s why I haven’t written. I wanted to –
please believe that – but I’ve not been in a good place at all, and I just didn’t
know how to respond. Sometimes I don’t get your letters for at a month or
more, and I think whatever I might have said then doesn’t make any difference
now.
Everything I just said was just an excuse. I didn’t write you because I was
afraid to write you. I don’t want to tell you what it’s like here. I don’t want to
fuck up your life any more than I already have. I can’t figure out how anything

I do or say now could possibly make anything better for you, except to say that
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for everything I did, and for all the things it caused. I’m sorry I hurt
you, and that I hurt your family. I plead guilty because I deserve to be here for
what I did to you. I don’t expect you or anyone else to forgive me for what I’ve
done.
I’ve been in therapy, too. I want to get better. I want to be better, so when I get
out of here, maybe I can be something…more. I don’t really know what that
means right now, but I’m trying to figure it out.
Please spend your money on your education. As much as I want to see you, it’s
more important right now.
Edward
I debated over how to sign it for at least twenty minutes. I didn’t want to tell
her I loved her in a fucking letter. I didn’t want to tell her at all, and at the same
time I wanted to fucking scream it loud enough that she could hear me all the
way across the continent. I wanted to tell her I hoped she would still be in my
life once this was over, but I didn’t want her to feel like she had to be.
“Are you sure this is everything you want to say?”
“Is there something else I should say?”
“That’s not for me to decide, Edward,” she said with a shake of her head. “I can
help you come up with the questions, but the answers have to come from you.”
“I think this is it.” I looked up at her and tried to get some sort of read on her,
but I never really could. “Am I fucking it up?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Okay,” I let out a breath. “This is it, then.”
Irina offered to take it and mail it for me.
She would understand, right?

Chapter 96:
I didn’t even know it was Christmas Eve until people started going on about
how dinner was going to be catered in from some charity or another. Turkey
and all the trimmings. The idea made my stomach turn. I went to dinner
anyway, had some sweet potatoes and Seth handed me his roll in exchange for
my turkey and stuffing. Some new guy – Embry – sat with us. He was just
about as big as Seth, and Seth said he was “grooming him” to watch out for me
when he was gone. He seemed to think that phrase was pretty fucking funny,
and laughed every time he said it.
We had free time for the rest of the day, so I went back to my cell to grab my
smokes and head outside. There was a letter sitting on my bed that hadn’t been
there before. I reached out, turned it over and saw the Washington postage
cancelation. I opened it slowly.
Edward,
I guess I have given up. I should have listened to everyone else all along. You
have been getting my letters – I got the registered letter card back from the last
one, and it was signed by the warden at the penitentiary. You obviously aren’t

writing me back, and I can only assume that means you don’t want to hear from
me.
I’m sorry about everything, but I have to start moving on.
Bella
My stomach clenched so hard, I doubled over – fighting to keep what I had just
eaten in my stomach.
She didn’t sign it “love.” She wasn’t writing again. How long ago did she send
this? I flipped it over, and saw it was dated four weeks ago – about one week
after I had sent her mine.
How could I have been so, so fucking stupid?
Two years, and I never wrote her. Not even a fucking card on her birthday.
Nothing. I did nothing.
I waited too long.
I dropped to my knees on the floor. My breathing was coming way too fast, and
my heart felt like it was trying to jump right out of my chest. I could barely
stand, and I was definitely in danger of just passing out.
Two years.
Two fucking years.
I needed to see Irina.
I pushed myself off the floor and went as quickly as I could to her office, not
even sure if she would still be there. When I walked past the infirmary, I
couldn’t believe how many people were in there – inmates and guards alike.
Even the guard that usually stood at the door to Irina’s office was inside, trying
to herd prisoners and bedpans.
People were puking everywhere.

I mean everywhere.
I heard the words “food poisoning” and “salmonella” being thrown around.
I walked a step into the room, looking around at the chaos of people throwing
up, rolling around on the overfilled cots and chairs, screaming that they were
dying, or that they needed to go to the hospital, and the guards trying to keep
some kind of order while they themselves were turning green and clutching
their stomachs. I looked around to see if Irina was there, but she wasn’t. I
could see the door to her office from where I was, and it was open, but no one
was inside.
That’s when I saw it, and everything became crystal fucking clear.
The guard had his back to me. His Beretta was unclipped from its holster and
just a couple of feet away from me.
A guy puked on his shoes right about then, and he didn’t even notice when I
lifted it.
The cool metal felt good in my hands, like it was supposed to be there, like it
had purpose.
I backed up slowly, making sure I didn’t draw attention to myself. I slipped into
Irina’s office and shut the door, and then I pushed the desk up against it,
wedging it tight. I dropped down to the floor in the back corner of the room,
the gun held tight in my hands, even though they were still shaking.
I had nothing. My businesses were gone – taken over by Emmett and Alice or
just folded up because of where I was. I had learned just enough between the
time all of this started and now to know that buying shit was never, ever going
to mean anything to me again anyway. I also know there was only one thing…
one person…who meant anything at all to me.
And she was gone now, too.
I leaned forward, tipping the barrel of the gun up towards the ceiling and
resting my chin on top of it. I was so fucking tired. I was tired of trying to

pretend I could get better. I was tired of trying to think I could pick of the
pieces of my shattered, so-called life. I was tired of trying to think and believe
that there was any reason for me to continue.
There was banging on the door, but I barely heard it. People were yelling my
name, yelling for the warden, yelling for Irina. I glanced up at the camera in the
corner of the office and sighed. My whole body felt cold, and there was
pressure in my head and behind my eyes. It hurt, and I was so fucking tired of
hurting.
But I didn’t hurt like

she had. Hospitals,
money, her dad…
I heard a strange,
unfamiliar sound
from my throat.
The racket outside

the door continued. I
heard different
voices, then they went away, and there were new ones again. The phone rang,
but I didn’t answer it. People started talking to me through the doorway, but I
didn’t listen to what they were saying.
The noise of the door shattering right off its hinges made me jump a little, but I
didn’t look up. I closed my eyes and felt the sharp point of the barrel dig deeper
into my jaw. I tilted my head forward slightly, and when I licked my lips I could
taste the black metal on my tongue. I closed my eyes even tighter. My finger
brushed the edge of the trigger.
“Give me the gun, Edward,” she said.
The sweetest, most incredible sound in the entire world.
My eyes opened, and I saw dusty black and white converse shoes near my feet.

“Please, Edward,” Bella whispered. “Please give it to me.”
My throat seized up, and I could feel tears pouring down my face at her hushed
words. All this time, and I had never cried, not once. Not for her, not for me –
not for anyone.
“There’s no…no…reason…” I choked out, but I couldn’t finish my thought or

my sentence.
“Give it to me,” she repeated, and I opened my eyes enough to see her crouch
down in front of me. “Please?”
My hands were shaking again, and all I could do was choke out barely
intelligible syllables at her.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I wanted to write you – I swear I did. I wanted to so
much, and I didn’t know what I should do…please…I’m sorry, Bella…I’m
sorry! I’m sorry!”
“Shh…”
I watched her hand wrap around the barrel, and my fingers loosened. She
pulled the weapon out of my hand and away from me. It felt like my body was
trying to collapse in on itself. My eyes ached in a way I had never felt before,
and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling out of them.
“Not yet…give her a minute first. It will be better.” I heard Irina’s soft voice
near the door.
Bella reached up her hand and put the gun on top of the desk. Another hand
grabbed it away, but I had no idea whose it was. I didn’t know anything at that
moment, because that was when she touched me.
And my world shifted on its axis, tilted, spun, whirled around until its direction
was true, straight, and certain. Everything else felt like it just melted away in
that moment – the prison, what I had done to her, what I had done to us – it all
evaporated as her hand reached up and ran over the side of my face.

Her scent enveloped me, her breath caressed me, and her skin called me home.
I felt her arm around my shoulders as she pulled my head to her chest. I
wrapped my arms around her back, and she pulled me even tighter against her.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I cried into her T-shirt. Knowing that timing meant nothing,
and that whatever needed to be said had to be said now, I finally uttered the
words that had scared me more than anything else in the world ever had.
“I love you! I always did…I should have told you! I love you! I love you!”
“It’s all right, Edward…it’s all right…I’m here now,” I felt her lips against the
top of my head. “I love you too, Edward. I should have told you, too. I never
stopped loving you…never.”
I wanted to ask her the how and the why of her being here, but I was afraid I
would break whatever spell I was under. Maybe it was too late – maybe I had
pulled the trigger, and by the grace of whatever God there is, I had been
brought to heaven…
I had atoned for my sins, right?
Chapter 97
Three days on suicide watch at a local hospital wasn’t really all that bad, except
that I was under constant surveillance by both the hospital staff and a prison
guard. I was cuffed to the bed, which also sucked, big-time.
Bella wasn’t allowed to visit.
Irina came to talk to me every day though, and she told me sometimes it took a
giant step backwards in order to be able to move forward again. She didn’t hide
the fact that she was still pretty ticked off at me for considering what I had tried
to do…well, not really tried…thought about…whatever.

I didn’t know if I really would have pulled the trigger or not. Everything was
kind of a blur in my memories – at least until Bella was there.
Irina also gave me a little detail of what happened that day. She had been
walking out of the building and heading home when she heard someone arguing
with the front desk about visiting Edward Cullen. She recognized Bella from
the media accounts of my trial, though I hadn’t known Irina had ever looked
any of that up. Irina went up to Bella to talk to her, and to find out why she was
coming to visit me. Once Bella received my letter, she realized our messages
had gotten crossed in the mail. She pawned the wedding ring I had given her all
that time ago to get a plane ticket to come and talk to me in person. While they
were talking, Irina was called about me being in her office with a gun. She took
the chance, and brought Bella in with her.
After my little ordeal in Irina’s office, Bella had to be taken out of the inmate’s
area while I was placed back in cuffs. It just about tore me in half. I was about
five seconds from being sedated when Irina reminded me that people did get
visitors here, and if I wanted to be able to see her again I’d better shut the fuck
up and start cooperating.
“Soon,” Bella whispered against my cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I replied, surprised at how easily the words came now – like the
tiny hole in the dam that suddenly gives way to the flooding waters.
After the hospital stay, I was put on anti-depressants and my therapy sessions
were increased to twice a week. I also had to spend a week in solitary.
No visitors there, either.
It was kind of strange how anxious it made me feel not to be able to see anyone
except Irina, when the day before all of this happened I hadn’t cared about
visitors at all. I didn’t even are about seeing other inmates, but I found I was
missing the presence of both Seth and Embry, and not just because I could trade
food with them.

Irina was still allowed to conduct our session from solitary, at least, but the
guard had to be in there with us, so there really wasn’t much point. I didn’t
really want to talk about shit in front of that guy, and Irina picked up on that
pretty quickly. She kept our talks about what I was eating, if I was taking my
medication when I was supposed to, and whether or not I still felt like I wanted
to die.
My goals for getting out of prison were going to become the focus of the rest of
my therapy – where I wanted to be, where Bella wanted to be, and how we
were going to work together to make that happen. Obviously, when the two of
us were trying to deal with it alone we were not very successful.
After I was brought back into the normal prison population, I was allowed
visitors on Wednesdays and Sundays. Bella was there the first day I could see
her. It was only through Plexiglas, but I would take it.
I picked up the little handset on the pegboard wall, and Bella did the same.
“I love you,” we both said at the same time. Bella’s cheeks turned red, and I
couldn’t help but smile. It made my face feel weird – I don’t think I had done
that in a while. For the longest time, we just looked at each other, but it wasn’t
awkward at all – it just felt good.
“I’ve got a long way to go,” I finally said. “But I’m going to do it, okay? I swear
to you, I’m going to be better when I’m out of here.”
“I will be, too,” she responded. She took a deep breath and wiped a tear from
the corner of her eye. “It’s not going to be easy, is it?”
“Nothing worthwhile ever is,” I said. “At least, that what Irina keeps tell me.”
“She’s your counselor,” Bella said with a nod. “I like her.”
“I do, too,” I responded. I reached up and ran my hand through my hair. I

didn’t want to hold anything back. Irina said that was important – I needed to
tell her everything. “Um…she had the doctor put me on some pills. For the
depression.”

“Good.” Bella’s hand reached forward and her fingers pressed against the
Plexiglas. I raised my free hand up and placed my fingers on the other side,
lining up with hers.
“How are you?” I asked, and then had to kind of laugh at how lame the question
was. “I mean, really? I know I must have…scared you. Being like that. With
everything you said in your letter…shit, Bella – I had no idea-”
“I know you didn’t,” she said with a nod. “How could you if I never told you?”
“I never told you anything.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’ve already apologized, Edward. You don’t have to apologize for it again
every time it’s brought up. At some point, you have to let go.”
“Now you sound like Irina.” I smiled and pushed my fingertips against the glass
a little harder.
“It’s what Sue keeps tell me,” Bella said. “She’s my counselor.”
“Figures.”
We just looked at each other for another minute, which was when the guard
came up and give me my five minute warning.
“Bella…” My voice trailed off as I took a deep breath. “I’ve still got a long time
in here. I’m not going to ask you to put your life on hold to wait for me. It’s not
fair to ask you to do that. I have pretty much nothing to offer you as long as I’m
here, and by the time I get out…shit, Bella – you could be thirty by then.”
“I know you aren’t asking me to,” Bella said. “That doesn’t mean I won’t do it
anyway.”
I took a breath, and it felt like my lungs were actually working correctly for the
first time in a very long time. I was still torn – the selfish part of me that wanted
her to wait, and the other parts that wanted to say I wasn’t good enough for her.

But I was going to be.
I was going to make sure I was the kind of man she needed me to be before I got
out of here.
“You still have to do what you need to do for yourself, too,” I told her. “You
have to finish college and have a life outside of me.”
“I know.” Bella sighed. “I’ve been trying.”
“I’ll try to help you,” I promised. “Anyway I can – just tell me what you need
from me.”
“Don’t close me out,” she said immediately. “Don’t do what I did, and sugar-
coat everything. I want to know how you really are.”
“You too, right?”
“Right.” Her eyes locked with mine, and I was captivated by her gaze. I could
have just looked at her for the rest of my sentence. No problem.
“Time’s up, Cullen.” The guard tapped the edge of the wall.
“What do we do from here?” I asked her.
“What do you want to do?” She really did sound like a fucking therapist.
“I want to figure out what I need to do to still have you in my life when I leave
here,” I told her. “If you want me to be, anyway.”
“I do,” she responded immediately. “How do we make it work?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I’m going to figure it out.”
Where there’s a will there’s a way, right?

______________________________________
Chapter 98:
“I’m gonna miss you, but not this place!” Seth said with a chuckle as he and I
stood next to my cell door, prepared to leave and head back out into the real
world..
“Yeah, well, you just make sure you don’t end up back in here, okay?” I told
him.
“Yeah, I know – I’m turning over a new leaf and all that shit.”
Embry walked up then, his normally hap-hazard hair slicked back flat against
his head.
“What the fuck is up with that?” Seth laughed.
“I’m properly groomed to be our boy’s protector now!” Embry said with a
laugh. He clasped his hand on my shoulder.
I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help but laugh along with them. We finished
saying goodbye to Seth, and he walked down the aisle to freedom. Embry and I
went out to the yard, where he offered me a smoke.
“I should quit,” I said as I lit one up.

Fucking sue me.
“What for?”
“Bella hates it,” I said with a smirk.
“Can’t let the woman run your life,” Embry commented.
“If she’ll let me be in hers, I’m perfectly happy with having her run mine.”
“Where is she now?”
“Back in Washington,” I said. “She’s trying to work shit out with her mom and
get her school credits transferred and shit. She’s supposed to start at the state
college here in the fall.”
“Did she find a place to live?”
“She got the financial aid to live on campus,” I told him. “It might not be as
cheap as an apartment with a bunch of people, but it includes all her meals and
whatever as well, so it should be cheaper in the long run.”
“Good deal.”
“She thought so,” I said. I took a drag off the smoke and watched some of the
guys bouncing basketballs around. The day Bella got her acceptance letter to
the college just about twenty miles from where I was incarcerated, she couldn’t
stand not being able to tell me in person and wasn’t patient enough to wait for a
letter to arrive. She actually called Irina and dictated the message to her
instead. She was so excited about it, but it still worried me. It would cost a lot
more, and there wasn’t a lot I could do to help.
“Shit, it’s almost ten,” Embry jumped off the bench and smashed his cigarette
butt under his heel. “I gotta go.”
“Where?”
“To work!” he beamed.
“Work?”

“Yeah, there’s a new program where we can work in different areas of the prison
and actually earn a bit of money. It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”
I talked to Irina about it the next day, and before I knew it, I was cooking
vegetarian meals in the prison kitchen. Killed two birds with one stone, and had
something to start sending to Bella every month to help her out.
With Bella living close, I wouldn’t say the weeks started flying by or anything,
but I had a lot more to look forward to. I worked in the kitchen every day
except for Sundays, which gave me something to actually get up and do. I
continued to see Irina once a week, and once I started eating a little better, I
started working out in the gym as well – at least, when Embry could go with
me. Sometimes you just don’t tempt fate.
Bella came during visiting hours every Wednesday and Sunday.
Those days were the best.
Most of the time we talked through the letters we sent. Once she started
putting my ID number and cell block on the envelope, they started getting to
me a lot faster, though I swear they must sit on the warden’s desk for a week
before they get distributed. He’s probably the asshole reading them, too. I
wrote her every day. Usually it was just about whatever bullshit was going on
around me, but other times it was about my talks with Irina, how well my
medication was helping, and what plans I wanted to make with her when I got
out.
I wouldn’t have been so willing to say that life was good, but it was better than
it ever had been before – even when I was a kick-ass fucking insanely rich gun-
runner. I didn’t have anything to speak of, and I couldn’t leave, but I didn’t feel
like I was alone all the time.
As time went by, the stack of letters from Bella eventually had to be moved from
under my pillow to a satchel Irina acquired for me. I still kept the most recent
six in my pocket. I easily had over a thousand letters, and I had all my favorites

marked so I could go back and read them over and over again. Bella said mine
were in a shoebox in her room. Then she said they were in two shoeboxes.
Then she had to buy more shoes.
She was doing really well in school, working towards a degree in teaching. She
was a little behind because of all the bullshit I put her through, but she still
thought she’d get out in good time.
Be finished, not get out.
So as I marked my six year anniversary in the state penitentiary, Bella started

preparing to leave college and get a job in the real world. I had managed to
send her enough money from my kitchen work to get a small apartment, though
she ended up needing a roommate anyway. I didn’t really mind that so much –
it was good for her to have someone else around her. I worried about her being
alone.
I wished I could really be right there next to her through it all, but I took a deep
breath, reminded myself that if none of this had happened I never would have
become the person I was now – a person worthy of being in her life.
“How are you doing today?”
“Annoyed with myself.” I plopped down in the chair across from Irina.
“What has you annoyed?”
“Bella’s all done with student teaching and graduates in two weeks,” I said. “I
wanted to be able to give her a ring. Even if I could actually order one over the
internet or something, I don’t have the money to do it. Cooking is only getting
me seventy-five bucks a month, and I always send that to her anyway. Even if I
kept it all, it would take me the rest of my sentence to get her a nice one. It’s
pissing me off. I want to give her something.”

“The ring is just a symbol, Edward,” Irina told me. “Bella already accepted
your proposal. There are a lot of ways you can symbolize how you feel about
her. What else can you do?”
“I don’t have a fucking clue, that’s why I’m pissed.”
“Think about it,” she said, like I hadn’t already been doing that. “I think Bella
would appreciate any symbol from you, not just one that costs money.”
“I guess.”
“While we’re on the subject, did you talk to her about the wedding date?”
“Yeah, but we’re not exactly seeing eye-to-eye on that one.”
“Have you listened to her reasons?”
“Yeah, and I get it – I do,” I sat back and rubbed my hand against my jaw. “I
know the kinds of things we’d be able to do…you know…”
“Conjugal visits.”
“Well…yeah.” I couldn’t look her in the eye. “But I just…I can’t even imagine
taking her back to a trailer to…to do that. She deserves better than that. She
keeps saying she doesn’t care, and she needs the physical contact. Believe me, I
want to give in, but I know it would mean so much more to her if our real
wedding was after I got out.”
“When is your earliest parole hearing?” As if she wasn’t keeping track herself.
Ha!
“With my behavior record, I have a little less than four hundred days off,” I told
her. “So I can be eligible for parole in fourteen months.”
“Hmm.”
“It’s a long time, I know, but we’ve already gotten this far, and if I get out
then…I just think it would be so much better.”
“But you haven’t convinced her.”

I laughed.
“She’s seriously stubborn,” I said. “Besides, her mom is not exactly in favor of
the whole thing, you know? Not that I blame her. I’m sure if I was her I’d
want to rip my balls off, too.”
“Have you ever written her?”
“Write to Bella’s mother? Fuck no.” I gave a short little laugh and shook my
head in disbelief.
“Why not?”
“Because she hates me, for starters. I am sitting here now for raping her
daughter, as you may remember.”
“And how does her daughter feel about you?”
I just sat there and stared at her for a minute. I guess I kind of knew what she
was getting at, but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with the
information.
“You are going to run into people once you get out of here,” Irina said. “People
who are going to look at you, know you are a convicted felon, and make
judgments based on that. People who are going to find out you are on the
sexual predators listing because your crime was against a minor. You are going
to have to learn to deal with that. What better place to start than with Bella’s
mother?”
“You are seriously trying to throw me into the deep end here,” I pointed out.
“You already know how to swim,” she shot back at me. “You’re communicating
with people, you have friends, you’ve set goals, and attained some of them.
You’re ready for the diving board, Edward.”
My eyebrows smashed together as I tried to think about what she was saying.
We’d talked about some of this before – about being on the list and how people
were going to view me when I got out. I had at least thought about that, but
Bella’s mother? She didn’t speak to Bella for nearly a year after she moved out

here, and their relationship was still on rocky ground now. She didn’t even
want to acknowledge my existence.
I tried to put it out of my mind once the session was over – there was just no
way could I say anything to Bella’s mother – but it wouldn’t leave my head.
Even went I sat outside after dinner, just smoking and trying to clear my head,
the idea of writing to Bella’s mother kept creeping back.
I stomped out my cigarette and decided it was time to jump into the pool.
I was feeling strangely nervous when I handed over the two papers I planned to
give to Bella for graduation. Well, one was for her. The other one had another
purpose.
“I wish I had a frame for it,” I said when Irina held up the picture I had drawn
years ago of two hands clasped together.
“You don’t need it,” she said. “But maybe I can come up with something for
you.”
“Seriously?” I asked. “I mean – if you could find something, I could pay you
back, as long as it wasn’t too expensive. I mean, I’ve been saving back a little,
because I want to get her a ring eventually, and I want to be able to pay for it
myself. I have about sixty bucks though…”
“Let’s worry about that when the time comes, okay?” Irina smiled at me and
then reached for the other paper. I sat back and felt my chest go tight. I tried
slow breathing for a minute, and it helped a bit. As Irina opened up the second
paper, the words I had written appeared in my mind.
Dear Ms. Renee Swan,
I realize you probably never expected to hear from me, but if I want to turn my
life around, one of the things I have to do at least attempt to make some
amends. I’ve put all my energy in doing this for Bella, but I’ve neglected the
person I have hurt almost as much.

There is nothing I can possibly say or do to make up for the pain I have caused
you and your family. All I can do is assure you that if it was within my power, I
would take it all back. I cannot bring myself to ask for your forgiveness,
because I do not deserve it, but please believe I’m truly sorry for what I have
done.
I love Bella with all my heart and soul. As ashamed as I am now for the
decisions that brought her to me, I cannot regret having her in my life. She
woke me up, and the events that followed have turned me into a different
person. It is with that in mind that I ask something of you, even though I have
no real right to do so.
I know tradition holds that I ask for your permission to marry your daughter,
but since Bella has already accepted, I will ask instead for you to please, for
Bella’s sake, bless our marriage. You are very important to her, and I know she
is very important to you. Having you in her life is paramount to her healing.
Even if you don’t want to have anything to do with me, please be there when we
get married. It would mean so much to her to have you there. You wouldn’t
ever have to see me again – I would make sure you and Bella could see each
other anytime you wanted without me being in the way.
With all my heart and soul, I swear to you that I am a different person now. I’m
a better person, and I want to spend whatever life I have making Bella happy. I
know things will always be a little difficult for us because of what I’ve done and
where I am now, but I promise to make the best of it. I’m not perfect by
anyone’s standards, but I will try to be the best husband I can possibly be. Bella
deserves nothing less.
Sincerely,
Edward Cullen
“Edward…” Irina’s voice trailed off as she looked up from the letter and met
my eyes. I had to look away, afraid of how she might react to it.
“Is it stupid?” I asked quietly.

“It most certainly is not,” Irina said, her voice just a little bit scolding.
“Do you think she’ll say yes? I mean, do you think she’ll come to the wedding
and shit?
“I don’t know, Edward.” Irina placed both papers on the desk in front of me
again. “You can never be too sure how someone is going to react, regardless of
how sincere you may be. But I do think this is a very important part of
mending yourself.”
I guess I did okay, right?
______________________________________
Chapter 99
“Relax.”
I scratched at the back of my head and tried not to yank at my hair too much. I
was practically sweating bullets, and wished I had skipped breakfast.
“What if they don’t…”
“We’ve been over this,” Irina’s calming voice attempted to reassure me. “This is
your first parole hearing. The chances of being granted parole is not great, so
you have to be prepared for anything. You’ve got good people on your side
here, so just say what you need to say, and we’ll see what happens.”
I nodded. I knew she was right, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to tear
my hair out while I waited. I didn't know what made me more nervous - the
fact that the direction of my life could drastically change over the next couple of
hours or because I would be in the same room with Bella.
Bella.
In person.
She was going to be here any minute, and seeing her in the flesh – not through
the glass in the visitor’s cubicles – was just about as exciting as the idea of
getting out. Since that day five years ago, I hadn’t been in the same room with

her - not really, anyway. Not somewhere where I could actually maybe touch
her. My heart pounded at the thought.
I tried to remember what Irina told me yesterday. I knew the chances of early
parole weren't great, and I didn't want to get my hopes up. As much as that
was true, I was far more concerned about Bella. I didn't want her to be
disappointed when they said no. She was going to see it as a huge set back, and
I didn’t want to see the hurt and frustration in her eyes. She had such high
hopes, and I was far more terrified of her being crushed if parole was denied
than the idea of another six months.
As if she could hear me thinking about her, Bella walked in the far side of the
room along with the public attorney assigned to my case, my social worker -
Nahuel Martinez, and Frank Banner – the head of the work program in the
prison. She was dressed in a modest kind of jumper dress and looking all kinds
of beautiful. Our eyes met for the briefest moment before the door on the
opposite side of the room opened, and five people walked in, including the
warden - two men, three women.
I swallowed hard, and tried to keep my focus towards those who were to decide
my fate. The woman in the center chair, who said her name was Emily Young,
opened up the file folder in front of her and started to read.
"Parole hearing for inmate 2427289, Edward Cullen. Served six years, seven
months of a ten to fifteen year sentence for second degree rape. Five hundred
twelve days earned for behavior, been involved in extensive counseling for the
past five years..."
She went on a bit, and I tried to at least look like I was paying attention, when I
was really shaking in my fucking boots. I was beyond terrified. I’d faced death
dozens of times, but never felt like this before. I didn’t feel this scared when I
walked into this place. I guess that kind of went to show how much I had
learned.
Okay, so my hopes were up.
Fucking sue me.

"The state will hear from Mister Cullen."
As many times as Irina and I had talked about it, and as many times as I had
practiced it in my head, I still wasn’t ready. I stood up slowly and tried to wipe
the sweat off my palms as I rose.
“I…um…I’m Edward Cullen…” Okay, fucking brilliant start. “Sorry…you

know that…”
Shit – this was not starting well!
I tried a long slow breath to calm myself down so I could focus, and then I tried
again.
“When I got here I was in a pretty bad place, and I had done something really…
um…horrible. I understood that when I plead guilty. At the time, I didn’t
really want to hurt anyone…I just didn’t understand. Once I realized it, I knew
I had to pay for what I had done.”
“I’ve spent my time here trying to figure myself out,” I continued. “My
counselor has been really awesome for that. She’s helped me figure out how I
got screwed up in the first place, and I’m really trying to make sure that I don’t
get back in that place again. I want to go out there and be a real person…um…
with a wife and a house and maybe even a whole family some day. I want to get
a real, legitimate job and just do things they way you’re supposed to do them.”
I took one last, long, deep breath and looked at the parole board straight on.
“I don’t plan on ever being back here again. I have a simply incredible woman
who’s agreed to marry me despite what I’ve put her through, and I just want the
chance to be the best husband I can be for her, the best person I can be for
society, and the best man I can be…for myself.”
I mumbled something like thank you, and then quickly sat back down before I
fell over. I felt Irina’s hand on my arm trying to steady me and glanced up to
her smile. I guess I hadn’t done too badly. She spoke next, talking about my
progress in therapy and how far I had come since she first met me.

“The state will now hear from the victim, Isabella Swan.”
I turned to her and watched her stand slowly. She glanced to me for a second,
but then straightened her shoulders and stared into the faces before her.
I had no idea what she was going to say, and out of all the words spilled forth
from her mouth – talking about everything I had accomplished while I was here
in prison, from helping to support her, getting my GED, to going to therapy – it
was the last few sentences that would live with me forever.
“Edward Cullen today is not the same man who raped me all those years ago.
The person who raped me was nothing more than a scared little boy who had no
idea how to relate to people or how to care about them. He is a different person
today, and one who I believe will continue to learn to grow and love in the years
to come. He had paid for his crime against me, and I have forgiven him. He
now deserves the chance to prove that he can be the loving, generous man who
has always been locked away in his heart.”
She sat back down and held her hands clasped together in her lap, looking
straight down at the table. It was killing me to not be able to go to her – to hold
her and tell her I was there for her. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself
doing it, hoping that if I thought about it hard enough it would eventually come
true.
Banner talked next about how much I had done in the kitchens – improving the
nutritional value of inmates’ meals without increasing their prices, and helping
them to earn some sort of high grade for such shit from the state. I barely heard
any of it, because all I could hear was Bella’s voice echoing in my mind, and all I
could see was her picture-perfect profile out of the corner of my eye.
The parole board looked back and forth at each other, leaned in and made some
hushed comments, wrote things on papers to pass around, and eventually
seemed to come to some sort of consensus.
Way too soon.
Emily Young looked up and me as she unfolded the paper in her hands.

“Edward Cullen, in light of your heinous crime as well as the handful of
infractions during your time here – one of which was serious – I am inclined to
not consider you as a candidate for early parole.”
I felt every muscle in my body tighten up, and I couldn’t breathe. I heard
Bella’s slight intake of breath and saw her hand move to cover her mouth out of
the corner of my eye.
“However,” Ms. Young continued, “considering the recommendation from your

counselor, and the eloquent words of your victim, this parole board has decided
to grant your request.”
“Yes!” I shouted, and I had to place my hands against the table to keep myself
from falling over. Bella was thanking God over and over again, and even Irina
was beaming from ear to ear. I would have just gotten up and gone over to
Bella, who now had tears running down her face, but Ms Young banged her
gavel heavily on the table, silencing us all.
“Mister Cullen,” she continued. “There are several conditions of your parole,
which will be provided to you in detail, but there are a few I want to go over
with you now. You will be required to visit with your assigned parole officer
weekly for a two year period from your release.”
I nodded emphatically. Two years, once a week visits – shit, once a day visits – I
didn’t fucking care.
“You are not to leave this state. You will be required to actively seek
employment, and maintain that employment during this time as well. You will
continue your treatment with Ms. Denali, and you will also be placed on the
national sexual offenders listing for this period of time.”
I took a deep breath. I knew that was to come, and it was something I had
talked about both with Bella and Irina. It was going to make it very hard for
Bella to get a full-time job as a school teacher when she had a husband on the
list, and…and…
Wait…what did she say?

“Period of time?” I heard myself repeat.
“Correct,” she said. “For a period of two years. As long as you meet all the
conditions of your parole and keep to the restrictions of your parole, you will no
longer be required to attend counseling, you may relocate out of state, and you
will be removed from the listing at that time.”
“It’s not…not permanent?”
“I’ve reviewed your case extensively, Mister Cullen,” Ms. Young told me. “The
reason for the sex offenders listing is to provide the public with information to
keep their families safe from repeat offenders. Between the details of your exact
crime and the notes from Irina Denali, I do not believe you are likely to be a
repeat offender. You aren’t going to prove me wrong, are you?”
“No!” I tried to catch my breath. “No, ma’am!”
“Good.” She held the papers out in front of her and tapped them down on the
desk until they were all even. “Congratulations, Mister Cullen. Release date set
for one week from today.”
She picked up an ink stamp and slammed it down against the paper before
pushing it off to the guy on her left, standing up, and leaving the room.
I just sat there in shock until I felt Bella’s fingers against my cheek. I turned
into her, wrapping my arms around her waist and placing my face into her
stomach. Her hands wrapped around my head, and her fingers stroked my hair.
“I love you,” I mumbled against the fabric of her dress.
“I love you too, Edward,” she replied. “One week, and I’m going to be yours
forever.
Sweeter words had never been spoken, right?

Chapter 100:
“It’s not much,” Bella said softly as her eyes dropped down to the floor.
I reached over and took his chin with my fingers, tilting her eyes to mine and
placing a soft kiss on her lips. How could I explain to her how much this place
meant to me? My words were – as usual - inadequate.
“It’s home,” I eventually whispered to her.
She broke into a smile, and a tear started to escape from the corner of her eye…
again. I swear she had been crying for two days straight, ever since I walked
out of prison. At least for the most part they had been happy tears. I crouched
down a little and grabbed her up into my arms so I could carry her over the
threshold.
The apartment Bella had been living in since she graduated probably would
have been considered small by most people, but when you spend over seven
years in a ten foot by ten foot cell, a modest studio apartment seems pretty damn
spacious. It had a dividing wall that separated out a bedroom area from the
living area, a small kitchen and a bathroom.
Just the idea of peeing in private was pretty damn fantastic if you asked me.
I decided taking a really good look around the place was going to have to wait,
because my new wife was probably going to do something to me that would
cause her incarceration if I didn’t make love to her immediately. I carried her
straight over to the bed, dropped her into the center of it, and then crawled on
top of her.
Bella giggled as my fingers stroked over her sides and down to her legs. I
reached for the bottom of her simple white dress and pulled it up, smiling
broadly as I found the garter wrapped around her thigh. I kneeled beside her
and pulled it off with my teeth. I was pretty sure that was what the groom was

supposed to do at a reception, and I was trying my best to make the most of our
simple wedding. We had it in small chapel, with Pastor Lee refusing to let me
pay him anything for his services or the chapel rental. Seth stood beside me and
when it was time, he handed me the gold ring with the little row of three small
diamonds on top of it. Bella’s mother, Renee stood beside her, though she
refused to even look at me. I didn’t care – she was there for Bella, which was all
that mattered.
I did hold my breath when Pastor Lee asked if there was any reason we
shouldn’t get married.
Renee didn’t say anything.
I flicked the garter up towards the headboard with my finger, and then grabbed
Bella’s ankle so I could start kissing her from bottom to top. Well…I actually
only got about half way before I was distracted, and hung out there for a while
as Bella screamed and moaned about how fantastic my tongue was. Her hips
bucked against my face and I tasted her sweet, sweet nectar. I’d have to taste
the rest of her body later, because I needed to join with her as soon as fucking
possible.
Bella reached down to the edge of her dress, which was nearly up to her breasts,
and pulled it up and over her head. I reached behind her back to help her with
the clasp on her bra, freeing her beautiful breasts for my hands to rediscover.
Bella went to work on my shirt buttons, getting through them pretty quick so
she could push the shirt off my shoulders.
“Holy shit, Edward!” Bella murmured as her hands traveled from my shoulders
down my arms. “You weren’t this…um…buff before!”
I laughed.
“Well, I had a lot of extra time in the gym these past few years,” I reminded her.
She blushed, and started apologizing.

“No,” I whispered to her. “Don’t be sorry. I can only hope I changed more on
the inside than I did on the outside.”
“You have,” she said quietly back to me. Her eyes glistened – first with tears,
and then with humor – as she ran her fingertips over my chest. “And I like both
sets of changes.”
“Well, my insides and outsides completely belong to you now, Mrs. Swan,” I
told her. “So do with them what you will.”
Yeah, Mrs. Swan. In prison it cost me fifteen dollars to change my last name
from Cullen to Swan. It would have cost Bella over two hundred if she was to
change her name to Cullen on the outside. Besides, I needed the fresh start, and
a new name made sense. Taking Bella’s name made even more sense to me,
because she was the one that changed me.
She smirked and reached down to the button of my Dockers. She popped it
open and slid the zipper down before she pushed them off my hips, taking the
boxes with them. After I kicked them off my feet, ridding myself of shoes and
socks as well, Bella’s hand ran up my thigh until she wrapped her fingers
around me.
“Holy shit…Bella…that feels so fucking good.”
Her fingers moved lightly from the tip of my cock down to the base, then over
my balls. It felt way too good, and I couldn’t breathe right. I started moaning.
“You gotta stop, baby,” I told her. “I don’t want to come on your hand…not this
time.”
She smiled and bit down on her lip, but released my cock so I could take an
actual breath again. She wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed,
holding me tight as I started nuzzling at her breasts.
The feeling of Bella’s fingers against the skin of my back was incredible. It was
almost as good as having them on my dick. She ran them up to my shoulders,
then all the way down to my hips, and back again. I focused on her nipples,
playing with one of them between my thumb and forefinger while sucking and

licking the other. I switched, and Bella’s hands suddenly dropped father down,
grabbing my ass and squeezing it.
“I want you,” she said urgently. Her fingers dug in, and she seemed to be trying
to pull my backside up so I could get lined up for a little something more. Her
hips lifted off the bed and pushed against mine, grinding herself against my
cock. “Now!”
As if I was going to argue.
I lifted myself up a little and moved forward, positioning my knees between her
legs and lining my cock up with her entrance. I placed my lips against hers, my
tongue tracing over her mouth as I slowly pushed the head of my cock into her.
I paused, breathed deep, and slid the rest of the way home.
The feeling of being inside of her again was absolutely indescribable. To be

buried once again in her warm, wet, silky flesh was like I imagined walking
through the gates of Heaven must feel like. Her body gripped me, holding me
inside as I shifted my hips back and forth against her. It had been so, so long…
and even though I had been here before, it was different. Knowing she was
here as my wife – for real this time – because she truly wished to be, made the
sensations so much sweeter. I felt the tension building inside of me all too soon,
and I slowed my pace to make it last. Bella’s hands found my hair, and she
pulled my lips to hers.
“Don’t hold back,” she mumbled against my mouth. “Please…don’t stop. We

have a lifetime for this.”
“Oh, God…Bella,” I whispered as I moved my mouth over the edge of her jaw.
“I love you so much…so much…”
“I love you, Edward,” she moaned back to me.
My pace increased again, and as I rocked back and forth inside of her I let the
pressure over take me, and spilled inside of her as I cried out her name over and
over again. My arms wrapped around her shoulders and I held her to me,
kissing her tear-covered cheeks, her eyes, and her nose.

Eventually I rolled to my side, taking her with me and wrapping my arms
around her to hold her close. I didn’t ever want to let her go. Bella snuggled
into my chest and her hand reached up to my face as she ran her fingers over
me, lulling me into the most restful sleep I had experienced in – quite literally –
years. If I could just keep her close to me for the rest of forever, that would
definitely be a mighty fine thing.
I wasn’t stupid…well… I wasn’t stupid anymore. I knew the times ahead of us

were going to be tough. Hopefully they would be made easier because we
would have each other in a much more real sense now. I loved her, and by some
miracle, she loved me, too.
Could be worse, right?
The End
_______________________________
Epilogue
“Oh…Edward!”
“Mmmmm…”
“Edward…Edward! Ugh!”
I blink my eyes a couple of times and feel Bella’s hands against my arm, shoving
at me.
“Get off of me,” she groans. “For goodness sakes, I can hardly breathe, I have
to pee, and I need to get ready for work!”
I’ve managed to roll over on top of her in my sleep…again. I can’t help it –she’s
soft and warm and comfortable.
Fucking sue me.
I roll over onto my back, releasing my beautiful wife from my heavy sleep-grip.
She climbs out of bed and runs for the bathroom, nearly tripping over the stack

of boxes next to the door. I had shoved them up closer to the dresser the night
before, but they still stick out into the doorway a bit. I will have to make the
bedroom unpacking a priority for today.
Unpacking in our first, real house.
Not an apartment.
I have a fucking mortgage.
The house is not anything grand – just a two bedroom ranch with a kitchen big
enough to eat in and a good sized living room. It has two full bathrooms, too,
which is all kinds of awesome. I’ve managed to furnish a lot of it from yard
sales and Goodwill, so the look is a little eclectic to say the least, but still homey.
It’s kind of amazing the kinds of things you can find for very little money when
you spend the time looking.
I’ve got the time.
It’s been hard to hold down a job, so I tend to have a decent amount of time on
my hands, at least during the school months. In the summer I’ve been pretty
lucky picking up construction or landscaping work. Even that can be difficult,
because I refuse to work under the table. I’m not taking any chances what-so-
ever. I don’t even go over the speed limit. When I find the work, I make
enough during those months to at least keep us going without too much stress.
Bella is sitting on the toilet in plain view of the bed. She never closes the door,
and it drives me insane. She always says she just doesn’t think about it and she’s
always waiting until the last possible second before peeing, anyway.
Apparently, closing the door just takes too much time.
I reach my arms up over my head and stretch as I listen to the sound of Bella
turning on the shower, and I start coming up with my mental list of things to do
today. The toilet in the hall still needs some repair, and there is an outlet in the
living room I should replace or at least tighten. Yeah, the house is a bit of a
fixer-upper, but at least the timing was good for buying this place, and it was a
foreclosure auction, so we got it for half of what it was worth. Also, since I’m

not working, I have plenty of time for the house stuff. When you don’t have the
money for a plumber or electrician to be at your beck and call, it’s amazing how
much shit you can learn to do on your own.
I scratch my stomach and wriggle around in bed a bit – stretching my legs and
my neck. I’m still groggy, but I hear the sound of a fire engine approaching, so I
know I won’t be able to stay in bed much longer. I push myself up and sit on
the edge of the bed and run my hands through my hair as I yawn. Bella walks
out of the bathroom with her hair in a towel and nothing else. I’m immediately
awake now, or at least part of me is.
I push my lazy ass off the bed and go to her, wrapping my arms around her
from behind.
“Hey baby,” I growl against her neck. She giggles and writhes against me,
which just gets my dick harder as it comes into contact with her bare ass
through my boxers.
“You make it very hard to get dressed,” she comments.
“You make it very hard by being undressed,” I retort as I grind against her
backside. I keep kissing along her shoulder. “I got nine inches just waiting for
you, baby…”
“Oh please,” Bella snorts.
“What?” I ask, honestly confused by what is so funny. If it is a quickie, there is

enough time so she won’t be late for school.
“Nine inches,” she repeats as she shakes her head.
“What the fuck?” I say, my eyes narrowing. I grasp her hips and push against
her and repeat. “Nine inches. I measured it.”
Bella turns her head and looks up at me. Her lips as smashed together, but still
turning up at the corners as she holds in a laugh.
“What?” I demand.

“Were you looking at the correct side of the ruler?” she asks, and this time she
has to bite her lip to keep it in.
Oh very funny.
“I most certainly was!” I snap back. I’m not really pissed, but I’m not happy,
either.
“Edward, darling,” she says in her most patronizing teacher voice. Her finger
traces a line up the front of my boxers. “I love your big, beautiful cock, but it’s
not nine inches long.”
“It is, too.”
“Did you start measuring at your balls?”

she asks with her brows raised.
“Oh I am not putting up with this shit,” I

say as I grab her and pull her back down
on the bed. “I’ll just have to show you –
again.”
I lie on my back and pull her on top of

me, pushing up against her heat and
holding tightly to her hips. She leans
over me and plants little kisses up the center of my chest.
“Maybe I’ll just make you count the inches as they go in,” I murmured into her
ear.
“You know that isn’t going to work,” she says with a nod towards the open
bedroom door. The fire engine sounds are getting closer. I release her hips and
sigh, allowing her to get back up, throw on her normal teacher attire, and start
drying her hair. A minute later, the sound increases as a red fire engine bursts
through the bedroom door.
“I can’t believe you bought him that thing,” Bella scolds me.
“What? It cost a quarter at the yard sale down the street! He loves it!”

“I’m not talking about the cost, that thing is so loud!”
“Woo woo woo!”
Our son, Anthony, crawls behind the plastic truck as he rolls it into the room,
repeatedly hitting the little button on the top, which makes the siren sound go
off again. He’s wearing nothing but his “big boy” underwear, and happily
announces that he is not only dry, but already went potty by himself.
“That’s my big boy!” Bella says with a smile. She lifts him into her arms and
rubs noses with him. My heart begins to pound as I watch them together. Bella
is so loving and attentive to his every need, and it just makes me smile every
time I see them. They gaze at each other with identical, deep brown eyes. Their
looks also match – showing their adoration of each other and a love that can be
felt across the room.
It’s indescribable.
I take Anthony from Bella’s arms and place him back down on the carpet near
the truck.
“I think there’s a fire in the kitchen!” I announce. Anthony takes the bait, and I
follow him and the truck out the door and down the hall on all fours, leaving
Bella the chance to finish getting ready for work while I get Anthony his
breakfast.
I find cereal and bowls for everyone, while Anthony pretends to put out a
raging fire on the leg of the kitchen table. There isn’t time to cook Bella a
proper breakfast, so I start thinking about what I can make her for dinner as I
pack her lunch. She comes out of the bedroom, looking too fucking hot in her
teacher clothes. It was a good thing she went with elementary education instead
of high school or college. It would drive me nuts if I thought hormonal guys
were looking at her all day. Anthony digs into his Fruity-O’s and Bella eats her
raison bran. Yuck. That shit reminds me of prison food, and I do not need that
reminder. I pour rice milk over my corn flakes and chow down.

“Mom’s planning on coming over Sunday about noon,” Bella tells me as she
finishes breakfast and places her bowl in the sink. I know this, and I nod
slowly. It sucks because it’s a weekend day, when Bella doesn’t have to work,
but I’ll muddle through.
“I’ll make sure I’m out of the house before then,” I tell her between bites. Our
five year wedding anniversary will be in a few weeks, but Bella’s mother hasn’t
said much of anything to me other than “may I speak to Bella” when I happen to
pick up the phone. She’ll be in the same room with me if she absolutely has to
be – like Anthony’s birthday – but she doesn’t like it. I try to just get out of the
way so she can visit with Bella and Anthony without the tension.
“Edward?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“She said she would like you to stay…if you want.”
I stop shoveling cereal into my face and stare at my wife. I’m pretty sure there
is milk dripping off my chin. She doesn’t appear to be joking – not that she
would joke about this particular topic.
“She really said that?”
“She really did.”
“Why?”
“Honestly? I think it was the Christmas picture of you and Anthony. She said
something about how much he obviously worships you, and that maybe it was
about time she at least thought about giving you a chance. For his sake.”
“No shit?”
“Don’t swear!” Bella snapped as she looked over to Anthony. “You know he’s
going to pick up on that.”
“Sorry, babe.” I try to look properly chastised, but I don’t think she buys it. I
go back to thinking about Renee’s impending visit, and try to wrap my head

around what it would be like if she didn’t outwardly loathe me. It was bad
enough that when people who were only acquaintances got wind of my ex-con
status, they would stop talking to us or having anything to do with us. “Wow.”
“I know, right?” Bella shakes her head, takes Anthony’s empty bowl and rinses
it out while he goes back to fighting fires down the hallway. “Just when you
think some people will never change.”
I refrain from commenting, but still mull it over in my head a bit. Anyone can
change, if they decide they want to. This I know.
"I thought she was generally still pissed at my lack of job," I point out.
Bella puts the dishes down and comes over to me, placing her hand on my
shoulder.
"You have a job," she says as she stares into my eyes. "You're a daddy."
I smile, because I know she is right and we've had this conversation before. It is
a big job, and it's the best one in the world.
“I have to get going,” Bella reaches over and runs her hand across my face as
she leans against my shoulder. Her touch can still pretty much halt me in my
tracks – there is nothing better. I close my eyes a little and just revel in the
feeling as I wrap my arms around her for a quick hug before she has to go.
I hand her lunch in a sack, and she gives me a quick kiss before she heads out
the door. Images of the Cleaver’s run through my head, but with Ward
vacuuming and asking June what she’d like for dinner instead of the other way
around. Maybe I should feel emasculated by the whole situation, but I don’t.
I really don’t think I could be any happier.
We moved to Arizona as soon as Bella got word she was going to get the job.
She was teaching third grade at a private school, and we were really trying to
get ourselves together away from the looks we received in her hometown and
the occasional media barrage living in the same general area where I went to
prison. Even after my parole was over, community service complete and my

name of the registered sex offenders listing, there was no escaping some level of
it.
You can’t just lie about that shit, not all the time. People found out. Some
judged, some didn’t. You had to take what you got. Starting over – again – was
never easy, but we made the best of it. I never saw any of my business
associates again, which also suited me fine. Sometimes Bella would get pissed
off about all the money they had taken from me, but I really didn’t want it.
Blood money. I’m not him anymore. Besides, Bella only brought that up when
the bills got a little tight. I tried to make sure that didn’t happen.
Renee retired and moved here to Phoenix the year after Anthony was born, so it
made sense to be in the same area. Bella still needed her mom’s support, and
Anthony needed his grandmother in his life. She was his only extended family
after all.
“What ‘cha got there, buddy?” I ask as Anthony bounds into the room with his
hands grasping colorful plastic items. He holds a small red boat up with one
hand and two little plastic sailor guys in the other. The people have round
bottoms and fit in the molded holes on the boat, so they can be sailed around in
the tub.
“Bath!” he calls out. I laugh, pick Anthony up, and toss him over my shoulder.
He giggles, squeals, and conks me on the head with the plastic boat.
I can’t explain why, but bathing Anthony is my favorite thing to do in the whole
freaking world. He loves taking his little boats in the water, and there is
something about just caring for him in such a way that makes my heart soar. It
started in the first few hours after he was born, while the doctor was checking
on Bella, and the nurse asked me if I’d like to wash my son.
My son.
I smile to myself.

“Potty first,” I remind him. He tries to spend time convincing me that he
doesn’t have to go, but I eventually win by tossing a handful of generic Cheerios
into the toilet and teaching him to sink them.
Hey, we’re guys!
Fu…well…um…just sue us, okay?
I lower Anthony into the warm water and get just the right amount of name-
brand baby bath and baby shampoo to get him cleaned up and ready for the
day. It is the one thing I refuse to skimp on. I watch him float the little boat
around, knocking the plastic people into the water, rescuing them, and knocking
them overboard again, as I wash his hair and make sure the spots behind his
ears are clean.
I never stop smiling.
I have a house, a fantastic son, and Bella as my wife. Yeah, people who find out
about our past tend to get pretty judgmental, and finding work for me is always
going to be a hardship. There’s a beat up Chevy truck in the driveway, and not
a fancy, expensive car. We don’t have a lot of things or a lot of money, but we
have each other, we have Anthony, and we have love.
As far as I am concerned, it couldn’t be better.
And in this, I know I am right.
No reason to ask.
~fin~


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COULD BE WORSE RIGHT?

Could Be Worse, Right? 1 of 413

I want a sex slave.

Fucking sue me.

I watched Kate’s delectable backside as it sauntered out of my office and out of

Fine, it did. I didn’t fucking care.

Could Be Worse, Right? 2 of 413

Could Be Worse, Right? 3 of 413

She had to be better off with me, right?

Could Be Worse, Right? 4 of 413

“Good to see you again, Edward.”

“Thought about exactly what you want?”

“No blondes or redheads,” I said vehemently.

“Brunettes, then? Or black?” Aro chuckled and I shrugged. “No worries.”

Could Be Worse, Right? 5 of 413

“Slim, but with curves, you know? Athletic build?”

“No preference, I guess.”

“Well…obedient. Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

“No,” Aro said as he raised his eyebrows at me. “Not at all.”

I determined I really didn’t want any further information on that particular

Could Be Worse, Right? 6 of 413

“Well, how do I know that she’ll be…well…clean? “ I held up my hands

“Shit, seriously? You can do that?”

“Yeah,” I said quietly. Damn.

Could Be Worse, Right? 7 of 413

“Eighteen,” I responded. I swallowed hard, and my chest felt tight. I grabbed a

Could Be Worse, Right? 8 of 413

He started writing again.

“Fuck…” the word escaped without my permission. My chest tightened up

“Give me about a month,” Aro said as he stood, effectively ending our

Could Be Worse, Right? 9 of 413

This was good news, right?

Could Be Worse, Right? 10 of 413

My heart was pounding a little as I eased in and immediately saw a young

Could Be Worse, Right? 11 of 413

“How old is she?”

“She’ll be nineteen in September. “

Could Be Worse, Right? 12 of 413

“No, I don’t need to do that,” I told him. “I’ll take her.”

Could Be Worse, Right? 13 of 413

Fuck. I hadn’t even asked her name. Bella. Beautiful Bella.

“Call me Sir,” Aro corrected. “Edward is your Master now.”

She didn’t look up.

“Got it, Cullen?

Could Be Worse, Right? 14 of 413

“Yeah, sure,” I responded.

He reached over and shook my hand.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Edward – as always.”

“You too,” I said, but my eyes were still on my slave. My Bella.

“I’ll be good, Master. I promise.”

This was going to be fantastic, right?

Could Be Worse, Right? 15 of 413

“Of course, Mr. Cullen. Will you be in tomorrow?”

“Possibly. I’ll let you know.”

I ended the call, and glanced over at my slave.

My slave. Holy shit

“Pull up your skirt,” I said.

Could Be Worse, Right? 16 of 413

“I want to see your legs.”

Could Be Worse, Right? 17 of 413

“I’m sorry, Master,” Bella whispered.

“Sorry?” I asked. “Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry if I distracted you, Master – I didn’t mean to.”

Could Be Worse, Right? 18 of 413