There are more workers who work from home and more students who study from home.

This is because
computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or
negative development?

With the advent of technology, working and learning online would possibly be a big part of the future of
work and study. While I acknowledge the potential drawbacks of distant learning and working, I believe
it to be a positive development.

 working and learning online ok-> teleworking and virtual learning

 Chưa giải quyết được từ khóa more and more easily accessible and cheaper->lỗi TR->with the
increasing affordability of modern technologies such as computers
 Paraphrase: a big part of the future of work and study->hàm ý predictions, trên đề bài hàm ý
đang xảy ra->lỗi TR-> there has been an increasing number of remote workers and students

One might argue that working and learning remotely could lead to a decline in productivity and
performance.

 Working and learning remotely ->remote working and learning

 Productivity and performance: performance chính là hệ quả của productivity. Không nên nêu
kép ý trong câu Topic Sentence.-> a decline in productivity and thus in work and studying
performance.

This argument could be ascribed to the lack of face to face management and the abundant of home-life
distractions, which means remote employees and students are likely to procrastinate, preventing
productive work.

 This argument could be ascribed to-> This (line of reasoning) could be ascribed to
 the lack-> bỏ the
 face to face management->face-to-face interaction
 abundant-> abundance
 preventing productive work-> deterring them from working productively

a, However, it is believed that greater productivity is not necessarily resulted from direct management.

 Cautious language: it is believed that greater productively, in certain cases,

 Greater productively->high levels of productivity are….
 Is ….resulted from-> result from (ko dùng bị động với result from)
 Chưa nói được ý về distractions

b,Employees could deliver high performance if they are offered options to choose when and where to
work, as long as giving good results.

 as long as giving good results-> được lựa chọn A and B cũng như là C : như vậy đưa kết quả tốt=
when=where???
 Câu này off->bỏ nha, chưa chứng minh được ko phải quản lí trực tiếp mới dẫn đến năng suất
cao
c,This could be done by creating a comfortable, yet organized home workspace isolating with home
interruptions and following a schedule that is easy for managers to track and measure.

 Isolating with-> isolated from …

 Following a schedule->adhere to a schedule
 Managers?-> thế còn học sinh thì sao nhỉ?

Suggested sentences: Nối câu a,b,c

However, computer technology has now developed so significantly that online interact can still
guarantee the same level of productivity as face-to-face counterpart with, for example, various
interactive activities in virtual classes and video conferencing between co-workers. As for interruptions
when working and studying from home, its adverse effects on students’ and workers’ productivity can
be mitigated if a private space that facilitates online studying and working is created and distracting
media such as phone’s notifications are eliminated

Furthermore, for many, working remotely would be more convenient due to the fact that
telecommuting professionals can eliminate the daily commutes or gossip things at offices, hence, less
stressful. This could lead to increased productivity.

 Bỏ professionals
 The daily commutes-> bỏ the
 Gossip things at offices-> office gossips.
 Hence, less stressful->xem lại cách dùng hence, N-> hence, lower levels of stress.

Another positive ramification of distant study and work is related to savings.

 Ramification (negative)-> Another benefit of

 Distant study and work-> distance learning and remote working
 Savings: tiền tiết kiệm???-> cost savings

For employees, they can save time not commuting, save on their gas money, save on clothes from not
dressing up, among others. For employers, remote teams allow businesses to rent smaller office spaces,
or even move to a remote, cloud-based operation completely, which would result in saving money on
rent, utilities and other office supplies. For students, it is undoubtedly true that distance learning is an
economically viable option because of the lower tuition fee compared to those offered in campus.
Besides, undertaking an online course or program also eliminates the costs associated with renting an
apartment and getting meal plans.

 Nên sắp xếp lại thành On an individual level + On a business level

 Save time commuting…among others ->save time on daily commutes or money on gas and other
expenses.
 Saving money on rent, utilities and other office supplies-> reducing operational costs.
 Compared to those (thay cho 1 N số nhiều phía trước)
 In campus->on campus
It is undoubtedly true that online classes with lower tuition fees would be an economically viable option
compared to on-campus ones.

Also, remote working and learning creates more learning and working opportunities.

 Creates : Chủ ngữ gồm 2 phần remote working and learning-> create
 Creates more learning and working opportunities->facilitate learning and working.

Distance learning programs facilitate students pursue and complete their desired courses from
anywhere with the use of computer and internet connection.

 Facilitate= make sth easier ; facilitate+ N-> enable students to pursue

 Internet

A larger percentage of those that enroll for distance education are actually persons who are working.

 A larger->an increasingly larger (cho khớp đề bài)

 Enroll for-> enroll in
 Actually (informal)
 Nên thêm linkers giữa các câu đoạn này. In fact, a ……

Distance education allow such students to find convenient time to study without interfering with their
already busy schedule.

 Distance education-> This form of learning

 Thêm linkers-> would therefore allow

For those who want to earn extra money, telecommunicating enables people get an additional job or
project beside their regular work.

 Enables sb to V
 Ý này chưa phát triển đủ mạnh-> nên bỏ

In conclusion, although the problems of distant learning and working are clear, they pale in comparison
with its benefits, rendering this trend positive.

 Chi tiết hơn cho problems-> although the negative impacts of distant learning and working on
people’s learning outcomes and work performance are clear,…with the benefits related to costs
and convenience, rendering this trend positive.