Plot Central

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/366582.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Relationship: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy
Additional Tags: Crack, PWP, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2005-10-25 Words: 875 Chapters: 1/1
 Plot Central
by orphan_account

Summary

Draco just wants to get off, without Harry's interminable need to Talk About Things.

Notes

I wrote this after trying to explain PWP to a non-fandom person who was already rather
disturbed by learning about smutfic, so the concept of something without a plot was even
more difficult for her. In my frustration, I wrote this about Draco and Harry. Technically it's
probably dub-con. I'll just apologize now and go hide in the corner.
"What is this place, Malfoy?"

"Doesn't matter." Draco's hands were at Harry's crotch, busily undoing his flies. "Shut up and
kiss me."

Harry complied, but pulled away after a moment, squeaking. "Your hands are cold!"

"They'll warm up soon enough," Draco leered. He pushed Harry's jeans down around his
hips, then hooked his fingers into the elastic waist of Harry's Y-fronts and yanked them down
as well. Draco sank to his knees and licked the head of Harry's cock, thinking that "purple"
and "leaking" were much more attractive adjectives in, well, the flesh than they were in the
letters at the back of Big Witchy Gazongas and other magazines that Crabbe liked to read
after dinner. However, this was not the time to think of Crabbe, and so Draco turned his
attention to Harry.

Harry thought that Draco was quite good at this. "You're quite good at this, Malfoy," he said
helpfully.

"Mmmmrph," said Draco, nuzzling Harry's sac and licking long sloppy stripes around the
base of his cock before sliding his mouth down as far as he could go.

"It's just that -"

Draco stilled his mouth, waiting. He huffed somewhat impatiently around his mouthful of
Harry.

"Well," said Harry, "where are we? I don't think I've ever been here before."

Draco sat back on his heels and frowned upward. "Does it really matter, Potter? You're
getting blown."

Harry shrugged. "I was just wondering. Not that I don't appreciate it, of course, but it's a bit
out of the ordinary."

"We don't have an ordinary, Potter."

"Okay," said Harry, shoving his hips helpfully toward Draco, who grumbled and sucked
Harry back into his mouth, doing something unusual with his soft palate that made Harry
gasp. Those Death Eater orgies really come in handy, Harry mused. Wait. Is Draco a Death
Eater? "Malfoy," he panted, "are you a Death Eater?"

"Teef, 'ottah," warned Draco, and Harry understood the first word well enough, so he shut up.
For a bit, anyway, until Draco reached into Harry's crumpled jeans and pulled a convenient
travel-tube of lubricant from the pocket, squirted some into his hand, and elbowed Harry's
legs apart so he could reach back into what Harry thought of as Here Be Dragons territory,
but Draco meant "dragon" so he thought it was okay, and after all...

"Are you my boyfriend, Malfoy?"

The questing finger ceased its exploration. The warm wet mouth popped off Harry's cock,
audibly. Harry looked down, and wished he hadn't; the last time Draco had been this dark-
pink with anger was probably the time in sixth year when Harry had caught him looking up
Goyle's dress. That was so long ago - or was it?

"I mean, it doesn't really matter whether you're my boyfriend or not, of course," he said
hastily. "I respect you no matter what choices we've made. Unless this is hatesex. Is it?"

Draco growled as he stood, undoing his finely tailored wool trousers and yanking his own
cock out. "You. Knees. Now."

Harry knelt obediently. Maybe Malfoy is my kinky boyfriend! Yay! "What year is it, Draco?
Am I an Auror and you're the evil Death Eater I've been sent to interrogate? Or maybe you've
joined the Order and you're married to Ginny and we sneak off during meetings to do this?
Wait - I'm pretty sure you don't like Weasleys. Or girls." He thought for a minute. "Oh! I
know! We're both professional Seekers, and this is the Wimbourne Wasps visitors locker
room! No, that might not work because the Wasps couldn't afford either of us. Hey, is that
Snape watching from the shadows? Cool!"

Draco grabbed Harry's hair and shoved his cock into Harry's mouth. Harry set happily to his
task, his mind whirling with possibilities. Maybe once Draco came - and if he stopped
dangling that ball gag (yes, definitely my kinky boyfriend) over Harry's head - he'd explain.
Harry was used to being confused. Actually, he rather liked it. Made things easier.

Relaxing as Harry swallowed around him, Draco rolled his eyes. Harry wasn't bad as
boyfriends went, but not very good at fulfilling fantasies. His idea hadn't seemed like a big
deal and he'd thought that Harry "Dumb but Pretty" Potter would be the right person to meet
his needs, but clearly he'd been wrong. Repeatedly.

All Draco wanted was a little action without a fucking backstory. Instead, here he was, stuck
in a goddamn relationship with the Boy Who Lived. The guy was Plot Central. One of these
days Draco was going to forget Harry's daily memory charm and the whole thing would go to
hell.

"Harry?"

Harry looked up, green eyes gleaming. "I 'ove 'ou, 'aco," he said.

"I love you too, Harry." Draco placed his wand tenderly to Harry's temple. "Obliviate."

Harry let Draco's cock slip out of his mouth. "Hey! Malfoy, where are we? Why am I sucking
your cock? What the hell is going on? I didn't even know I was gay!"

Draco sighed. Maybe Severus was right about Silencio after all. He could grow to love Harry
"Pretty but Dumb - No, Seriously, Dumb As In Mute" Potter. Draco raised his wand again,
prepared for a lifetime of happiness and bliss. It might be hell, he thought, but at least he'd
get off.
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