Welcoming Womanhood

Welcoming
Womanhood
Welcoming
Womanhood
…a guide for mothers for their daughters' first period
…a guide for mothers for their daughters' first period
Page /1
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All praise be to Allah who completed the religion for us,
perfected the blessing on us. May the blessings and peace
be upon His Messenger, who called upon people to obey
his Lord.
My dear Sisters,
Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,
As my daughter was showing signs of puberty, I started

researching on this topic to prepare myself for the big
day without getting panicked.
Never had I explored this much for myself. But when it

came to my daughter, things needed to be special.
I wanted to bring everything together in one place. Then

thought of sharing it with others as it can be a source of
guidance.
A big thanks to all who answered my surveys.
May this benefit you.

Page /3
Prepare her beforehand:
-This is not at all a matter of shame and embarrassment.

It isn't a curse.
-Every woman who came in this world right from

Hawwa (a.s) experienced this.
-It is the natural detoxification of the body. If this blood

is not expelled from the body, it will create a lot of health
problems.
-NEVER be of the view why men don't experience this

and why do women only have to face this affliction.
Allah's wisdom is the most superior. Our value is in our
own God-given distinctiveness.
-Allah has chosen women for the most supreme task in

the world -- to give birth to babies. Our body is just
preparing itself for it.
Page /4
Talk to her about:
-Make her aware of basic Fiqh issues regarding this

topic. Like, the prohibitions and allowances in Islamic
Science, relating to menses; especially the matters
concerning Salah and Fasting.
{Strongly suggested: Tahaarat aur Namaz ke ehkamat aur

masayel on Darul Arqam}
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/7wwhy11dokm12s8/AACp
RIqoMH3LmRjoI_heihwha?dl=0
-Importance of removing pubic hair and under arm hair

regularly.
-Tell her not to discuss periods with boys, men and

younger sisters.
-Never compare yourself with other girls. Each one has a

different experience.
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-Encourage her to stay calm and practice self-control.
-It's very important to ward away the Shayateen with

Azkaar and cleanliness as they like to be around girls in
periods.
-Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can cause moodiness,

anxiety, headaches, backaches, pimples, nausea,
cramping, food cravings and depression. Many women
go through these.
-A big big NO to bikini wax by others. She should know

that the area between navel and knees is not supposed to
be shown to women as well.
-No justification to skip Salah and obligatory fast after

the onset of periods. Prompt her to offer Salah on time.
-Your body is an Amaanah given to you by Allah. You

have to take care of it.
-This blood is impure. You are not!
Page /6
-Never touch your private parts unnecessarily; like at the
time of sleeping, while thinking about something.
-She should not sleep with anyone under one blanket

now; not even with her sisters, not even with you.
-The more active you are, the less likely you are to have
menstrual cramps. A few minutes of walking could
suffice too. Exercise is your body’s natural pain killer and
mood elevator.
-Advise her to stay indoors as much as possible, before

Maghrib, as at that time Shayateen move around the
most.
-Pads should be disposed off properly by wrapping them

well. No one should ever see your blood stained pad.
-Do not take pills for postponing your menses, unless for
a very strong reason. Never for the intention of worship
like Fasting or attaining Qiyaam-ul-lail. This condition is
Page /7
from Allah. Your rewards of worship will not be
lessened.
-There is no specific Dua to be read at the time of taking

Ghusl.
-Make sure that every spot on your body gets wet while
making Ghusl. Even the part underneath your ear studs
and rings, your belly button and behind ears.
GHUSL:
1. Make the neeyah (intention) to perform Ghusl for

purification (not in words).
2. Wash your private parts thoroughly with water.
3. Perform Wadhu (ablution).
4. Wash your head and then the body.
Page /8
QUICK INFO:
*Forbidden: Salah, Fasting, Tawaaf.
*To know if your menses has come to an end: White

discharge or complete dryness of Vagina.
*Allowed during Periods: Bathing, trimming hair and

nails, waxing, applying mehendi, shaving pubic hair,
underarm wax, hair dyeing.
*Permissible: Make Dhikr, make Duas, listen to Quran,

listen to Islamic lectures, give charity.
*For vaginal itching: Eat unsweetened and unflavored

yogurt.
*Recommended series for her: Status of women in Islam.
*For Cramps: Orange -carrot juice, mint, dry dates, dark

chocolate (over 70% cocoa).
*To reduce any swelling on the body: Zeera pani (Cumin

water)
Page /9
Points to console her:
-The discomforts are hardly for around 3 days. Imagine

the reward you would get for bearing all your pains, as
Allah rewards patience and endurance immensely.
-Allah has not forbade Salah in any situation, not even in

battle ground! But Allah knows what you are going
through and prohibited you from the 2 main pillars of
Islam; Salah and Fasting! Just imagine!
-Getting angry or frustrated over a natural phenomenon

is of no use. Learn how to deal with it.
-You should be glad that your body's natural system is

working properly.
-We always have good as well as bad days.
-Some people don't have access to disposable pads. Be

thankful for the resources we are bestowed with.
Page /10
-Music is haraam. It won't leave a soothing effect on you.
Rather, you are inviting the Shayateen.
-Frequent urination is highly uncomfortable. But just

think that how blessed you are to have a bathroom
within your home with full privacy. How blessed you are
to be able to get up and walk yourself to the bathroom.
There are people who are actually deprived of all these!
-At the times of cramps, persuade her to recite the pain

relieving Dua while keeping her right hand over the
painful area. After that, ask her to keep reciting Surah
Fatiha over it. Can be repeated any number of times,
preferably odd.
Page /11
Things you, as a mother can do for her:
-Be her friend. Understand her and her mood swings.

Don't scold her for anything in these days.
-If she is conscious of her pimples, keep telling her that

this is a passing phase and that she still looks beautiful in
it.
-Give her privacy (from other siblings). Let her have her
own free time and space.
-Answer all the questions popping in her head.
-Cuddle her during tough time. This does goes a long

way!
-When she comes to you to say something, may be about

the pain, stop what you are doing! Turn to her, look in
her eyes and listen to what she says. Don’t treat it
casually.
Page /12
-Give her a head massage, body massage, mani cure,
pedicure. You doing this for her will make a difference!
-Surprise her.
-Be mindful of your behaviour with her, as now her self-

esteem is going to get developed.
-Involve her in minimal decision making matters, asking

her opinion.
-There are disposable panties available as well. Let her

use them in case of travelling.
-Wash her clothes separately.
-List out her Mahrams to her. Yes, now!
-Describe to her the great women around Muhammad

(S). They should after all be her role-models.
-Monitor stuffs she reads. Tell her to discuss with you

whatever she talks with her friends regarding this.
Page /13
-Don't allow her to use internet when alone with her
friends. The internet shouldn't be teaching them stuffs,
we should be.
-Narrate your period experiences to her.
-When she exhibits patience and calmness during tough

time, treat her with her favourite food or something
small and nice.
-Keep in mind that they become ‘more’ sensitive due to

hormonal fluctuations at this time.
-May be you cannot do much to reduce her discomforts,

but you can take care of her appetite and her emotions!
-See to it that she stays hydrated. Loss of fluids should be

recompensed with increased water intake. Buy her a
fancy; girly water bottle. Fill it in the morning and tell
her that she has to finish it by the end of the day.
Page /14
-Give her foods rich in iron, calcium, fiber and water.
Avoid foods that would cause constipation, gas, bloating.
-Start giving an iron rich diet a few days before her date
as it reduces the intensities of PMS.
-Surround her with positive quotes; like bookmarks,

screensavers, wallpapers, posters - on fridge, walls,
doors.
A few Examples:
"Sometimes you have to create your own sunshine."
"Be brave. Be strong".
"Learn to let the things you can't control, go".
"When you try to move on but it seems too hard, Allah

knows".
"After every hardship comes ease". [Quran, 65:7]
Page /15
"The struggle you are in today, is developing the strength
you need for tomorrow".
"And seek help through patience and prayer". [Quran,

2:45]
"When you feel down, go be a blessing to somebody else".
"To fall is inevitable. To rise is a choice".
"And give glad tidings to the patient ones". [Quran,

2:155]
"Bloom where you are planted".
"It's not the load that breaks you down. It's the way you
carry it".
"Allah burdens not an individual more than his capacity".

[Quran, 2:286]
"The one who masters patience, masters everything else".
Page /16
When the first period comes:
-Hug her as soon as she announces that to you.
-Treat her in a very special and unforgettable manner.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
-Do all sorts of stuffs to make this a remarkable episode

for her. Make this a fun and happy ride for her, which
will help her in later transitions of life.
-Do not force her to stop playing with kids just after she
attains Puberty.
-The morning and evening Azkaar are an absolute MUST

now. Sit in front of her and listen to when she recites.
This will develop this habit in her. Regular recitation of
Ayat-ul-Kursi is very important.
-The first thing I told her was "Your pen has now
started!" She is now a 'baaligh' person and shall now be
accountable for all her actions.
Page /17
-Tell her to resist the urge to scratch herself. The itching
will be more intense in Summers. The marks will remain.
-Teach her to instantly wash herself the stained clothes

and linens.
-If possible, avail her to a variety of brands and types of

pads. Let her decide which ones are comfortable for her.
-Though not practiced by many people, we don't let our

girls go out of their homes from the start till the end of
their first period. But no restrictions on moving inside
the house.
The food do's and dont's of first period varies in different

places and cultures. I am listing out what I did.
-In my place, a girl is given only sweet things for 3 days.

Salt and especially chilli is completely avoided for 3 days
Page /18
as this is supposed to cause body itching. Our elders
actually advise to continue this for 11 days!
-Egg, chicken and fish are avoided in the first few days
as they trigger itching. But in some places, egg is given;
in fact raw egg!
-The seed of a date is removed. Edible Oudh is filled into

it and the date is burnt on open fire. This is consumed
first in the morning. This is believed to stop menstrual
odours. {This is the same Oudh which is used to give
fumes in milk drink, in Muharram, in the Asian
subcontinents.}
-Coconut and Jaggery is to be consumed a lot, like really

a lot. These give strength to lower back and help remove
period smells. (I made a Coconut-Jaggery cake for her
with Buttercream-Coconut frosting; which she said she
would always cherish).
Page /19
-Dry fruit mix called 'Panjeri' is to be given which adds a
lot of nutrition and strength. Gond (resin gum) is the
most important element.
-'Hareera' (a soup made of ghee, dry fruits,

flour/semolina and milk) is to be given a lot.
-Asli ghee, Coconut, Jaggery, Urad daal were

recommended the most in my survey.
-When her periods end, and she is going to take final

bath, apply a paste of 'aam-e-haldi, besan, multani mitti
and milk' on her face and body. Keep it for around 15
minutes. Wash off. Readymade packs are also available.
This removes tan marks and kills germs. BUT keep in
mind that this should be done by herself or her mother.
Other women coming and doing this as part of a
ceremony is not correct.
Page /20
-After the bath, give her something warm to drink,
especially in winters. Like; hareera, hot chocolate,
turmeric milk, saffron milk, masala doodh.
-After the bath, I gave Oudh and Lobhan (Frankincense)

fumes. This is said to eliminate foul smells, kill germs,
shrink uterus swelling, tighten vaginal opening.
-After the end of her each period (and especially the first
one), I advise her to recite complete Ruqyah on herself.
{Suggestion: Book 2; Page 17; Comprehensive Ruqyah}
https://www.livequraneverymoment.org/ruqyah-
workshop.html
Page /21
-On this milestone, give her a gift, an exceptional one. I
gave her a kit, in which were many things. As I needed
time for assembling this, I presented it to her on her
second cycle. Some ideas for the kit:
KIT:
Dark chocolate
Hot bag
Waste bag dispenser
Mug, hair brush, towel - Personalised
Pocket mirror
LOTS of nail polishes!
Handy nail polish remover pads
Stress relieving painting/colouring worksheets
Bubble wrap
Stain pen
Page /22
Face wash
Stress ball
Books (menses related; Islamic or Non-Islamic)
Pocket calendar
MP3 (with Quran, Ruqyah)
Azkaar / Ruqyah handy card
A different brand of soap (to be used by her only)
Trimmer
Hair Straightener/Curler
Page /23
Summarised Do's and Dont's
You can print this and keep it in a convenient place for

you and her to remember at times of need. I wrote this
on a bookmark and got it laminated.
DO's:
AZKAAR
Hygiene
Heat compress / Tub soak
Hot shower
Exercise/light walking
Deep breath exercises
Small meals
Massage
Acupressure (Know the points)
Pedicure
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Stress ball/Play dough
Stress relief worksheets/Painting
Proper sleep
DONT's:
Tight clothes
Scented Vaginal products
Excessive use of Gadgets
YES FOODS:
Dark Chocolate
Fish
FIBER
WATER
Yogurt
Green tea
Page /25
Honey and cinnamon tea
Nuts [Dates, Figs, Walnuts, Cashews, Peanuts]
Seeds [Flax seeds, Sunflower seeds]
Spices [Sesame, Saffron, Ginger]
Fruits [Apple, Pear, Berries, Banana, Papaya, Avocado,

Pineapple, Olives]
Vegetables [Spinach, Carrot, Cucumber, Corn, Tomatoes,

Sweet potato, Beetroot]
Bone broth
Liver
Iron fortified cereals
Urad dal
Oats
Vitamin C chewable/effervescent tablets
NO FOODS:
Page /26
Ice
Chilled foods
Dairy
Caffeine
Sugary foods
Fatty/Oily foods
Salty foods
Processed foods
Microwaved foods
Mug meals (microwaved)
Lemon
Red meat
Refined flour
Rice
Page /27
JUST FOR FUN
Like me, if you go into deep research while investigating

any topic, you might want to read "First period
stories" or "First period cultures" or "Period
myths" on the internet for some interesting reads.
I have compiled some facts here, which would increase

your and your daughter's knowledge on the topic.
PERIOD FACTS:
-A girl's first menstrual period is called a "menarche".
-Most girls get their first period between the ages of 9

and 16. The average age of girls getting their first period
is around 12 years, but before that is also fine. It also
depends on the climatic conditions of the region you
reside in, family history, lifestyle, eating habits etc. In
today's age, girls get their periods early because modern
Page /28
women are heavier than pre-modern women — fat
produces more estrogen in the bloodstream. Scholars
also suggest that hormones in modern food have led to
earlier menstruation.
-Your first period is usually pretty light.
-Most periods last 3 to 8 days. The average duration is 6

days. Everyone is different.
-Cold weather can make your period last longer, heavier

and more painful!
-You actually lose about a cup of blood per period. The

rest of it is bits of your uterine lining and mucus.
-The sound of your voice changes during your period!
-Until the age of about 18, irregular periods are quite

common because the body is still working on perfecting
the system.
Page /29
-"Oligomenorrhea" is when a woman has her periods
less frequently than normal. "Amenorrhea" is when she
doesn’t get her period at all.
-Only the macaque monkey has anything close to a

human menstrual cycle, at 29 days.
-The great apes and chimpanzees also menstruate, just

not as obviously as human beings do.
-Aside from primates, only two other species that

experience a menstrual cycle are bats and elephant
shrew.
-Humans, humpback whales and elephants are the only

animals that go through menopause.
-Menstrual blood is used as a medicine!
Page /30
-While menstruating, one may bleed from places other
than their vagina! In a very rare medical condition
known as “vicarious menstruation,” women on their
period may also harmlessly bleed from their mouth, ears,
lungs, nose, eyes, and skin! This condition is caused
when endometrial tissue (which normally grows in your
uterus and sheds during your period) is transmitted
through the bloodstream.
-The average age a woman stops her period is 51,

though symptoms of menopause can start as early as 32.
-Some cultures celebrate this event, while some avoid

even informing others about it.
-Both Jews and Muslims require women to achieve ritual

purity after menstruation.
Page /31
-In some cultures, menstrual huts exist, where the
menstruating women are kept out of the house and have
to live temporarily in this dwelling as they are
considered impure.
-28 May is Menstrual hygiene day, an annual awareness

day to highlight the importance of good menstrual
hygiene management (MHM).
-There is a period themed shop in New York City.
-Disposable menstrual pads grew from a Ben Franklin

invention created to help stop wounded soldiers from
bleeding, but appear to have been first commercially
available from around 1888.
-In 1929, a physician named Dr. Earle Haas invented the

tampon.
Page /32
-Types of menstrual products:
*Pads [Panty liner, Ultra-thin, Regular, Maxi / Super,

Overnight, Maternity]
*Tampons
*Reusable, washable, cloth pads
*Reusable Menstrual Cups
*Disposable Menstrual Cups
Page /33

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Welcoming

…a guide for mothers for their daughters' first period

Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

As my daughter was showing signs of puberty, I started

Never had I explored this much for myself. But when it

I wanted to bring everything together in one place. Then

A big thanks to all who answered my surveys.

May this benefit you.

-This is not at all a matter of shame and embarrassment.

-Every woman who came in this world right from

-It is the natural detoxification of the body. If this blood

-NEVER be of the view why men don't experience this

-Allah has chosen women for the most supreme task in

-Make her aware of basic Fiqh issues regarding this

{Strongly suggested: Tahaarat aur Namaz ke ehkamat aur

-Importance of removing pubic hair and under arm hair

-Tell her not to discuss periods with boys, men and

-Never compare yourself with other girls. Each one has a

-It's very important to ward away the Shayateen with

-Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) can cause moodiness,

-A big big NO to bikini wax by others. She should know

-No justification to skip Salah and obligatory fast after

-Your body is an Amaanah given to you by Allah. You

-This blood is impure. You are not!

-She should not sleep with anyone under one blanket

-Advise her to stay indoors as much as possible, before

-Pads should be disposed off properly by wrapping them

-There is no specific Dua to be read at the time of taking

1. Make the neeyah (intention) to perform Ghusl for

2. Wash your private parts thoroughly with water.

3. Perform Wadhu (ablution).

4. Wash your head and then the body.

*Forbidden: Salah, Fasting, Tawaaf.

*To know if your menses has come to an end: White

*Allowed during Periods: Bathing, trimming hair and

*Permissible: Make Dhikr, make Duas, listen to Quran,

*For vaginal itching: Eat unsweetened and unflavored

*Recommended series for her: Status of women in Islam.

*For Cramps: Orange -carrot juice, mint, dry dates, dark

*To reduce any swelling on the body: Zeera pani (Cumin

-The discomforts are hardly for around 3 days. Imagine

-Allah has not forbade Salah in any situation, not even in

-Getting angry or frustrated over a natural phenomenon

-You should be glad that your body's natural system is

-We always have good as well as bad days.

-Some people don't have access to disposable pads. Be

-Frequent urination is highly uncomfortable. But just

-At the times of cramps, persuade her to recite the pain

-Be her friend. Understand her and her mood swings.

-If she is conscious of her pimples, keep telling her that

-Answer all the questions popping in her head.

-Cuddle her during tough time. This does goes a long

-When she comes to you to say something, may be about

-Be mindful of your behaviour with her, as now her self-

-Involve her in minimal decision making matters, asking

-There are disposable panties available as well. Let her

-Wash her clothes separately.

-List out her Mahrams to her. Yes, now!

-Describe to her the great women around Muhammad

-Monitor stuffs she reads. Tell her to discuss with you

-Narrate your period experiences to her.

-When she exhibits patience and calmness during tough

-Keep in mind that they become ‘more’ sensitive due to

-May be you cannot do much to reduce her discomforts,