Her Heart's Choice (Lost Fortunes,

Found Love Book 3) Rose Pearson

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HER HEART’S CHOICE: A REGENCY
ROMANCE
LOST FORTUNES, FOUND LOVE (BOOK 3)
ROSE PEARSON
 C O NT E NT S

Her Heart’s Choice

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
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Prologue
Chapter 1

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HER HEART’S CHOICE
 PROLOGUE

E verything was a haze of heat and blood, the groan emitting from his lips only a distant echo.
Nothing made any clear sense as Gideon fought for control.
Somebody was thrusting something into his hand, and he tried to speak, tried to ask for
help, but all that came out was a low noise that he barely recognized as his voice. And all the while,
the ache in his shoulder grew worse.
“You must sign this. The doctor will not see you unless you do.” Even that made very little sense.
Gideon squeezed his eyes closed, battling through darkness and pain to align his thoughts. Why should
the surgeon refuse to come to the aid of a gentleman? It was not as though he did not have the money
to pay. All the more disorientated, Gideon opened his eyes and tried to focus on the face in front of
him, but it was naught but a blur. “Sign it.”
The voice was darker this time, the words louder. Trying to work out whether he was sitting or
standing, Gideon turned his head as something was pushed into his hand. He blinked rapidly in an
attempt to clear his vision. Was that a quill he now held? Why would his fingers not clamp around it
with their usual strength?
No further questions could even be considered for, at that very moment, something pressed on his
shoulder, and he let out a scream of pain.
“Sign this, or you shall die here without the surgeon ever having come to your aid.”
The pain brought a sudden sharpness to his vision but, even then, Gideon could not comprehend
what was taking place. Without being fully aware of what he was doing, his fingers clumsily etched
out his signature as he struggled to focus on the paper in front of him. His mind was screaming with
confusion, terrified that the threat would come to pass if he did not do otherwise. In an instant, the
pain in his shoulder lessened, but the circumstances did not become any clearer. Someone was
moving him, someone was leading him somewhere – and then cold air ran across his skin.
He fell back heavily, another jolt of pain slicing through his head.
“The surgeon.”
His agonized, desperate call for help was only a broken whisper and, as his vision blurred again,
Gideon was trapped in a dreadful fear that he was to be left entirely alone until death slowly
beckoned him. He fought desperately to open his eyes, catching a glimpse of what looked like a red-
framed door. But his strength began to fail him, even as he battled to work out where he was, and who
had been speaking to him – and after but a few moments, everything faded to darkness.
IT WAS pain that brought him back. Terrifying and overwhelming darkness had pulled him in, but now
it was with relief that he slowly came back to himself.
“You have returned to us.” A voice pressed in at his consciousness, forcing him back all the more
quickly. “We have been so very worried.”
Something cool was pressed against his forehead, but Gideon forced his eyes to open. Taking in
heavy breaths, he attempted to push himself up, only for the pain to shoot down his right side. It took
him some moments to gather himself, but when his gaze finally cleared, he recognized three of his
friends who had been with him during the previous evening’s gambling.
“What has happened? His voice was hoarse and dry, but he urged himself to sit up again, pushing
away the cool compress as he gritted his teeth against the pain. “Where am I?”
“You are in your townhouse. Someone attacked you last evening.” Lord Wiltsham spread his
hands, his expression pinched. “I myself have only just recovered from my stupor, although you have
a good deal more to deal with.”
“Attacked me?” Sitting up a little more, Gideon accepted the glass of water from his servant’s
hand, taking a long draught. “I do not understand.”
His body felt weak and tired, but his mind simply refused to let him free.
“You recall that we went to the East End of London last evening? It was on Lord Gillespie’s
recommendation.”
“Yes, I do recall it. I do not recall if he stayed to play with us, however.”
“Nor do I.” Lord Pottinger put in, as Gideon frowned at the pallor on his friend’s face. “In fact, I
do not believe that any of us can recall where Lord Gillespie went, once he had directed us to those
‘copper hells’.”
“That does not mean anything, does it?”
Still struggling to understand what his friends were saying. Gideon winced as he shifted slightly,
his shoulder aching terribly. Lord Gillespie was a close acquaintance, known to all of them as a
gentleman of good character, which was why he could not understand the dark expression on each of
their faces. Had they wished to enjoy the evening elsewhere? Or perhaps they had not been as
successful in their gambling as Lord Gillespie had suggested. He tried to shrug, then immediately
regretted it.
“You must be careful of that shoulder,” Lord Wiltsham muttered. “As much as it pains you, there is
yet more to say, which I fear will pain you all the more. Your shoulder will heal. But the injury I am
about to reveal to you now will not so easily mend. “
Concern grew and Gideon shifted forward on his feet, ignoring the stab of pain which came with
it.
“What are you speaking of?”
“Thus far we have all discovered that our wealth is gone.”
Gideon blinked rapidly.
“I do not understand what you mean.”
Lord Pottinger ran one hand down his face and Gideon’s stomach twisted, the pain in his shoulder
no longer appearing to be of any significance.
Lord Wiltsham threw up his hands, then let them fall.
“Last evening I evidently signed my fortune over to a Baron March, whose name I do not
recognize. He has taken every single coin that I possess. I have nothing left.”
“Mine is gone also, although not quite under the same circumstances,” Lord Silverton stated, his
voice so quiet that Gideon strained to make out the words. “I very much fear that you will find
yourself in the same situation.
“For that is the situation I am in also,” added Lord Thornbridge, who had not spoken as yet.
The white of his face contrasted with his dark, shadowed eyes and red slash of his mouth.
Gideon’s own fears began to grow as he closed his eyes before taking a deep breath. Everything
was still clouded at the edges. He could not seem to fully grasp all that was being said to him, and yet
his stomach was churning uncontrollably as an overwhelming sense of dread clutched at his heart.
Could it be true? Had he lost everything?
 CHAPTER ONE

“M y dear girl. How are you?”

Lady Sara sat quietly, staring down at her hands as they clasped gently in her lap. She could not
give any answer to her mother’s question. The shock was still much too great.
“But…” Shaking her head, she struggled to find the words, tears building in her eyes. “How could
he do such a thing? How can this be?”
“It is disgraceful, of course.” Reaching out, her mother squeezed her fingers lightly. “I am glad
you are not to wed him, my dear. He is clearly a gentleman without scruples.”
“I… I do not understand.” The tears formed far too quickly, too fast for her to blink him all away,
trickling down onto her cheeks as she fought for breath. “How can this be so?”
Her mother shook her head.
“There is no particular reason, my dear girl, other than to say that he is a gentleman who is
unworthy of you. I can only hope that he will not have a single moment of happiness for the rest of his
days, for what he has done to you.” Her mother placed a lace handkerchief in Sara’s hand, and it took
her a few moments to realize what it was, and what she was meant to do with it. The shock ran like
lightning through her veins, refusing to free her, refusing to allow her to think clearly. How could Lord
Coatbridge do such a thing to her? He had promised her so much, and was now abandoning her
entirely, leaving her with nothing. “I wish I could say or do something which would take away your
pain at present.” Her mother’s voice rasped, and she was feeling the pain of all that Sara was
enduring. “It is a disgrace, nothing less. No gentleman should court a young lady and then take himself
from her to declare his betrothal to another!”
To hear it spoken of again in such clear terms sent an arrow straight through Sara’s heart. Her
breath came in uneven gasps as she squeezed her eyes closed, trying desperately not to break down
into yet more furious tears.
“Oh, my dear.” Her mother squeezed her hand again. “My words were not wisely chosen. Forgive
me for my inconsideration.”
“It is not you that I need to forgive, Mama. In truth, I can barely take it in! Only yesterday he was
sitting in this very room declaring that he cared for me more than ever before. How can he then go on
to decide that he is betrothed to another young lady only a few hours later? And how could she accept
him, if they have not been courting? I cannot understand it.”
“Nor can I.” There were tears in her mother’s voice. “I was quite sure he was to propose to you
very soon. I thought we would be together packing your wedding chest. Instead, we shall be left with
the ton asking many questions, wondering why he has set you aside, why he has turned from you to
favor another.”
 Sara shook her head wordlessly, suddenly afraid that her reputation was about to suffer a great
deal at Lord Coatbridge’s hands. Where she had thought him considerate, it now appeared that he was
thoughtless. Where she had thought him generous, he was selfish. She had believed that he cared for
her deeply, but this betrothal proved that there was not even a hint of affection on his part. He had
forgotten her already, set her aside so that he might wed another.
“This Lady Nora, whoever she may be, will be nothing compared to you, I am quite sure.”
Sara did not even lift her head.
“If that was true, Mama, then he would have chosen to betroth himself to me and not to her.”
Lady Longford opened her mouth but then closed it again tightly. She turned her head away, and
silence built between them. That silence did not last long - her mother broke it soon after.
“It will be because of her dowry, or whatever fortune her father is willing to give his daughter.
There will be some reason for it, my dear. It is not that you are lacking in any way.”
The truth did not bring any comfort to Sara’s broken heart. Despite telling herself that the man
meant nothing to her, and that she had no need to feel any such torment, she found her tears insisting
that they remain rather than flee as she had hoped. Lord Coatbridge had been eager in his attentions
towards her, and the fact that he had asked to court her so soon after their introduction had sent both
excitement and anticipation through Sara in a way that she had never before experienced. She had
believed herself quite safe in allowing herself such feelings, for he had promised her that they would
soon be betrothed, such was the depth of his own feelings. Now, it seemed that he had been playing
her for a fool.
“You must go on into the Season with your head held high.” Her mother spoke with great
determination, her thoughts already on the weeks ahead, rather than the present circumstances.
“Everyone will be watching you. They will be eager to see how you respond to this, particularly
given that Lord Coatbridge will be present also. You must give them no cause for gossip. Laugh and
smile as if you are just as you have always been. There must not be a single trace of sadness in your
expression, even though you will be feeling quite the opposite inside.”
Sara shook her head.
“I cannot go into society for some time, I fear. I need time to consider all that has taken place.”
Her mother shook her head.
“No. We are to attend this evening, just as we have planned.”
Sara’s head shot up.
“Mama, I cannot. It is much too soon for me, given that I have only just heard this dreadful news.
My heart is still too sick with pain.”
Her mother tossed her head.
“Nonsense. It will appear that you are greatly affected by his betrothal if you remain at home, and
then a more gossip would be said about you. That would not be a wise decision to take, my dear. We
must show society that you are not affected by this in any way whatsoever.”
“But I am affected. Deeply, deeply, affected.”
“Be that as it may, you will hide that from everyone,” her mother instructed firmly. “I know that
the ton will be fully aware of his betrothal and there will be whispers about you already, of course.
We cannot allow them to grow, so therefore, you must present a happy front to make certain that
everyone believes there was nothing of any consequence between you. Only then will I be satisfied.
Your heart may be broken, my dear, but your reputation must be protected.”
Sara looked away. She could do nothing but agree with her mother. The lady would not stand for
any sort of refusal on her part. Despite her own misgivings, and in spite of her own wishes, she
would have to attend the ball this evening, putting on as many pretty smiles as she could, hoping that
society would accept the lie that she was presenting them.
“Very well.”
Her mother beamed as this was the end of her troubles, as if this single agreement would resolve
her difficulties and send light into her future.
“Good. This is exactly what we need at this moment. Do not allow his behavior to ruin your
chances of future happiness.” Wiggling one finger at Sara, her mother rose to ring the bell for tea.
“You know very well that gentlemen in society will not be eager to court a young lady whose heart
still belongs to another.”
“Lord Coatbridge did not steal my heart, mama.” Sitting up a little straighter, Sara shot a firm look
towards her mother. “I will not pretend that my heart has not been affected, but I certainly did not love
him. I cared for him, at least, but it was nothing more than that.”
Although I believe it came very close to it.
“I am glad to hear it,” her mother replied spiritedly. “We shall certainly have no cause at all to
remain at home this evening. I expect you to be ready and prepared at the expected time. We will not
be tardy.”
Sara nodded, mute. Try as she might, she could not get rid of the feeling that her reputation should
be of lesser importance than her heart. There was certainly a good deal of anger and upset lingering
within her heart, but there was also a great weight of pain. Pain that she had been discarded without
even a hint of consideration.
“I think I should like to take a short walk in the garden. Perhaps I will rest for a time in the arbor.”
“An excellent idea,” her mother replied, a warm encouragement in her voice. “I look forward to
seeing you this evening - oh, and make sure to wear one of your finest gowns.”
“Yes, Mama.”
Managing a quick smile, Sara walked to the door, her heart pounding furiously as she fought
against a cresting wave of emotion. It was not until she reached her bedchamber, however, that she
broke down completely. Tears ran down her cheeks and she made no effort to dash any of them away.
Her mother was sympathetic, certainly, but she was too concerned with reputation and was eager to
do all that she could to preserve it and have Sara restored to society as quickly as possible.
Had Sara been given the choice, she would have remained at home, resting quietly under the
heavy load of sadness and sorrow. Instead, she would be forced to push away everything that she felt
so that she might instead focus on appearing happy and contented in front of those she cared very little
about.
“I shall see him there this evening.” As she spoke aloud, the misery cut to the very heart of the
matter. She would be forced to see, and perhaps even speak with, Lord Coatbridge. Perhaps he might
seek her out, wanting to make sure that there were no particularly damaging rumors running through
society that might injure his newly betrothed. “I do not know if I will be able to speak with him.”
The memory of her laughing and speaking with Lord Coatbridge struck a jarring pain through her
again, but Sara dried her eyes on her handkerchief and set it in her lap, her fingers playing with the
lace edge.
It had been true, what she had said to her mother - she was not in love with him. Having never
experienced such a great emotion, she was quite certain that she could not be so, for there was no
great intensity of feeling which had risen up within her whenever she had laid eyes on him. Her heart
was broken, yes, but that was due to the future he had offered her being torn away; the promises that
he had given her now completely broken. All of his words were made meaningless, and her
perception of his character was now entirely shattered and would never be able to be restored again.
She would have to attend this evening, and see him with this new young lady, knowing that everything
he had ever told her, everything she had ever believed, had been nothing more than a lie.
Yet despite my wish to stay at home, my mother insists that I attend this evening so that I am
forced to be in his company once more.
Taking a deep breath, she set her shoulders and lifted her chin as a flame of anger lit the edge of
her sadness and upset. Her mother should not be forcing her into this, but neither should Lord
Coatbridge have treated her with such disdain. Somehow, she was going to have to find enough grace
and courage to get through the evening without losing either her composure or her temper… and that
might prove very difficult indeed.

THE SENSE of being quite at odds with everyone else in the room was a rather unsettling one and Sara
drew in great gulps of air in the hope that she might be able to keep her emotions in check. Her face
was already sore from her fixed smile, and her hands were clenching and unclenching as she walked
around the room, hoping to keep to the shadows. She was wearing her finest gown - at her mother’s
existence, of course - but her hair had taken so long to style that she had almost fallen asleep in the
chair. One large braid curved from one side of her head to the other just above her forehead, whilst
smaller braids came from under it, pulling back until long curls exploded, rushing down against her
shoulders. Her eyes were clear, but her smile remained forced. Sara was certain that she looked well
and certainly, no one would be able to state that Lady Sara had been pale and wan.
“Good evening. Lady Sara.”
Sara started, whirling around and fully expecting to see some gossip of the ton, eager to get to
know exactly how she was feeling at the news of Lord Coatbridge’s betrothal, but much to her relief,
that was none other than her dear friend, Miss Hannah Cartwright.
“Hannah.” Reaching out, she grasped her hand. “I am so very glad to see you this evening.”
“I confess I am a little surprised to see you present. I would have thought that you would want to
remain at home this evening.”
Sara pulled a face.
“You have heard then?”
“Yes, I have done so. I believe almost everyone in society has heard of Lord Coatbridge’s sudden
betrothal. It is a little strange, is it not? I thought that he was courting you!”
“As did I.” Sara tried to laugh but the sound did not quite come out of her lips. “This has been a
great shock to me. I would have much preferred to remain at home and give myself the opportunity to
come to terms with this news. But Mama was most insistent that I appear this evening. I believe she
did not wish me to hide away, thinking of my reputation, of course.”
“That must be difficult for you, however.” Looping one arm through Sara’s, Hannah gave her a
small smile. “But I am here with you this evening. You shall be able to face whatever is thrown at
you, I am sure of it. You have enough strength of character to endure.”
“I must hope so.” A slight wobble came into her voice, and she looked away. “I shall tell you that
I had come to care for Lord Coatbridge. That may have been foolish of me, but after everything that he
promised me, I could not help but feel something. It was not any sort of great love, at least, but I had
been affected by what he had promised me in terms of our future together.”
 “I quite understand.” Hannah’s sympathetic voice was a balm to her pain. “I can well understand
that you wish to keep such feelings hidden from everyone else, however. What he has done has been
the biggest betrayal.”
“I simply do not understand it. If there was an explanation, then I might feel a little better, but as
such there is not.”
“In that regard, his behavior has been very strange, I grant you. I do not understand firstly, why he
would turn his back on you and, secondly, why he would betroth himself to someone else so very
quickly. There has been no obvious attachment between them, has there?”
“There has been nothing whatsoever,” Sara agreed. “Not as far as I was aware at least.”
“Not as far as the ton was aware either, otherwise it would not have come as such a great
surprise, and there would not be so many tongues wagging.”
Sara rolled her eyes and Hannah sighed in sympathy.
“They are all eager to speak with you this evening. I am sure that I have already heard at least
three ladies stating that they are certain you will be heartbroken. I was quick to reassure them that you
were a good deal more sensible than that.”
Sara smiled.
“Thank you for coming to my defense. Perhaps my mother was right to insist that I attend this
evening, loath as I am to admit it.”
“You must keep your head held high and a genial expression on your face,” Hannah added. “They
will all be looking at you.” She stopped suddenly, her hand tightening on Sara’s arm. “Prepare
yourself, my dear. He has arrived.”
Even as Hannah tugged her into motion again, Sara did not need to ask who she was talking about.
Her stomach dropped to the floor as they continued to promenade slowly around the room. She did
not look to the left, nor to the right, albeit with a tingling awareness that Lord Coatbridge was present.
“Where is he?” she hissed. “Can you see him?”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hannah glance over her shoulder, followed by a swift intake
of breath.
“He is walking towards us,” came the reply. “And he is arm in arm with his… betrothed.”
“Then we must walk a little more swiftly,” Sara determined. “Or mayhap we ought to stand
somewhere quietly so that he can pass us and make his way to other guests within the ballroom, who
are no doubt eager to see him.”
She and Hannah were about to do the latter when a sudden, familiar voice reached her ears.
“Good evening, Lady Sara. Good evening, Miss Cartwright.”
What struck her the most was the joviality with which he spoke, appearing to indicate that he was
very pleased to see her, whilst for her, he was the last person she wished to be in company with.
Turning around, she kept her expression cool, despite her mother’s warning that she ought to smile
in such a situation. When she met Lord Coatbridge’s eyes, one eyebrow arched as she looked back
into his face, seeing the slight flush which colored his cheeks.
“Good evening, Lord Coatbridge,” she murmured, entirely unaware as to whether or not Hannah
had already said this. “Please introduce us to the young lady on your arm.”
She did not look at the young lady in question, but kept her gaze fixed on Lord Coatbridge, who
had now gone a deeper shade of red.
“But of course.” He cleared his throat, and his voice cracked a little as he spoke. “This is Lady
Nora. Her father is the Marquess of Westerly.” As he spoke, his eyes turned towards the lady and he
sent her a warm smile, which then faded as he turned back toward Sara. “Lady Nora, this is Lady
Sara and her acquaintance, Miss Cartwright.”
From the warm smile on Lady Nora’s face, Sara did not think that she had any knowledge of who
she was, in relation to Lord Coatbridge. In many ways, she felt rather sorry for the young lady, if she
did not know of their connection, nor the tension that swirled between them now. Had she truly been
naïve enough to believe that Lord Coatbridge’s interest was genuine in its swiftness? Had she not
heard that Lord Coatbridge had been courting Sara for these last few weeks? Perhaps she had not
been in society for very long.
“Good evening, Lady Sara.” Lady Nora smiled, her eyes bright. “You are well acquainted with
Lord Coatbridge, I hear?”
There was a gentleness to her tone which had Sara wincing inwardly. Did this creature truly
believe that there was only an acquaintance between herself and Lord Coatbridge? Was that what she
had been told?
“Yes, we are very well acquainted.” Glancing away from the young lady, she looked towards
Lord Coatbridge, a little surprised to see him drop his head. Was he embarrassed over what he had
done? Ashamed, mayhap? Or was it more likely that he simply wished to keep Lady Nora from
knowing the truth? “In fact, Lord Coatbridge and I were courting for a short while.”
Lord Coatbridge lifted his head sharply, his eyes meeting hers. The red in his cheeks slowly
changed to white as he stared at her, but Sara did not care. The injury he had caused her had been so
great that she had no willingness now to remain silent and permit him to merely enjoy the happiness
which came with being Lady Nora’s betrothed. Nor did she want Lady Nora to believe that there was
nothing of significance between herself and Lord Coatbridge. The young lady deserved to know the
truth, she decided.
“You… You were courting.” Lady Nora blinked, then forced a smile that did nothing to take the
shadows from her eyes. “That must have been some time ago.”
Sara opened her mouth to say that it had been only yesterday and up until today, she had believed
they were still courting, only for a gentle nudge to catch her attention.
“That is something I believe Lord Coatbridge can discuss with you. Now is neither the time nor
the place to be having such discussions.” Miss Cartwright spoke quickly, irritating Sara with her
determination to move the conversation on. “My heartfelt congratulations, Lady Nora. Pray excuse
me. Excuse us.”
So saying, she slipped one hand through Sara’s arm again and half dragged her away from Lord
Coatbridge and Lady Nora. Anger built like a wave within Sara’s chest as she turned furious eyes
upon her friend.
“Whatever did you do that for? I had a good deal more to say.”
“But you would have been cruel to do so, and you are never cruel, Sara. At least, I believe you
are not.”
When they reached the other side of the room, Miss Cartwright turned so that they were facing
Lady Nora and Lord Coatbridge and Sara followed her gaze. Lady Nora had pulled herself back from
Lord Coatbridge and was standing with folded arms, looking up at him with an angry tilt to her chin.
“I understand that you are angry, and you have every right to be so, but it would not be like you to
cause another pain. Do not allow your upset to bring viciousness to your actions.”
Sara drew in a deep breath, and her shoulders dropped as her anger faded away.
“You are right, Hannah.” She was not callous, and yet had been about to declare all to Lady Nora
in the middle of the ballroom, knowing the damage it would have done and the scandal it would have
caused. Lady Nora would have been gravely injured by what Sara would have said, and she would
never have been able to recover from that. “My anger is directed towards Lord Coatbridge, not Lady
Nora,” she murmured as Hannah nodded. “You are right, my dear friend. I ought not to say anything
which would injure the lady, although I do believe that she should know the truth. Thank you for
pulling me away.”
“I am just glad that I do not also have to face your wrath!” Miss Cartwright chuckled, making Sara
laugh softly in return. “Come now, attempt to enjoy the ball this evening as best as you can. I believe
Lord Coatbridge will have a less than pleasant time of it.”
Sara smiled darkly.
“Which is precisely what he deserves.”
 CHAPTER TWO

“P“I certainly
erhaps it is just as well that I came to London.”
can recommend it,” Lord Wiltsham chuckled, and Gideon grinned as his friend
slipped one hand around his betrothed’s waist. It was good to see Lord Wiltsham so happy.
“If we have managed to give you a little hope, then yes, it is very good that you came,” Lord
Foster added, handing a brandy around to everyone. “That is two of us who have regained our
fortunes now. You shall be the third, I am sure.”
Gideon shook his head.
“I am not yet convinced to stay in London, however, although I am glad that I was here to be of
assistance to you, Wiltsham. I do not think there is as much hope for me. I already signed the contract
and am now a Marquess without fortune. That much I can recall, at least.”
“I did the very same and now here I stand, with my fortune returned.” Lord Wiltsham put out one
hand towards him. “There is no reason that you cannot do as we have done, and we are here to be of
aid to you.”
“Although I am soon to make my way back to my estate in preparation for my marriage,” Lord
Foster reminded them both. “But I would agree with Lord Wiltsham. You should stay here, Stoneleigh.
I am sure that there will be much for you to discover.”
“But I have very little to move forward with,” Gideon protested. “I only vaguely remember what
happened, and I have my ongoing difficulties with my arm to prove it.”
He lifted his right arm as high as it would go, turning his wrist over left to right. There was a
stiffness there that never left him now, ever since the evening of the injury. He was doing all he could
to restore it to its full strength, but everything he tried seemed to bring him either pain or a lack of
success, which irritated him all the more.
“All the same, I believe that you should remain here. Go back to where you recall being that
evening. Search for clues if you must. I will do whatever I can to be of assistance to you, just as Lord
Foster was to me. And you are to reside with me for as long as you require it. I would offer to return
you to your own townhouse, but given that it is currently let out to another family…”
Lord Wiltsham swung one hand then dropped it to his side.
“I certainly appreciate that.” Gideon gave him a quick smile, silently reminding himself that he
had every intention of returning to his estate without delay. “There is much for me to do back at the
estate, however. I must look at my situation and attempt to do everything I can to be as financially
secure as possible, given the circumstances.”
Besides which, I do not want the ton to become even more aware of the injury to my arm. They
would only gossip about me all the more.
 “I think you would be wise to give yourself a little more time before you return.”
“I am well aware of that, but I must keep my own counsel.”
“Of course you must.” This time it was not any of his friends who spoke, but rather Miss
Carshaw, who was Lord Wiltsham’s betrothed “I will say, however, that Lord Wiltsham found himself
in the very same position as you are at present. He believed that he had no hope and no prospect of
finding his fortune. But after a short while, he began to see that there was in fact, a little chink of light.
That light has now brought us together, and our future is secure once more. I am not suggesting that
you cannot keep your own counsel but only to say that there is still a light of hope for you, if you
would only seek it in what is otherwise a great darkness.”
Nodding slowly, Gideon considered this, knowing full well that Miss Carshaw was speaking not
only of the situation that Lord Wiltsham had found himself in, but also of her own situation which had
only recently been resolved. Could there be any real hope?
“I shall consider it at least, although I do not know how one is meant to return to society after such
a thing.” A sorrowful laugh broke from him. “I have been afflicted by the blue-devils since the whole
affair took place and I am certain that, by now, that the ton will know of my lack of wealth.”
Miss Lawrence tilted her head, having sat silently thus far.
“You may find yourself a little surprised to know that not everyone is aware of the rest of the
gentlemen who have lost their fortunes. You have always been a rather quiet and contained gentleman,
have you not, Lord Stoneleigh? Perhaps that is to your advantage in this situation. I do not think that’s
the ton have any awareness of your lack of funds at present. However, they will know that you have
let out your town house for the Season.”
“But that could easily be explained by the fact that you did not think you would be coming to
London this year and thus thought to serve another family by permitting them to reside there,” Lord
Foster suggested quickly. “I should not concern yourself with that.”
Gideon shook his head.
“The ton will find out somehow, however. Mayhap it may be the wisest course of action to return
home.”
“Well, should you change your mind, you may be sure of our company.” Miss Carshaw smiled at
him. “It might be a wise thought to return to society with friends by your side. You shall not be as
entirely on your own as you might otherwise be.”
Gideon allowed himself a small laugh.
“I believe you are all quite intent on my remaining in London, are you not?”
Nobody smiled as he had expected. Indeed, nobody even laughed but instead, they simply glanced
at one another.
“It is only because we want to see you as we are,” Lord Foster explained. “Both Lord Wiltsham
and I know the struggles you face at present. That difficulty will not leave you, my friend. You will
spend the rest of your days in such a struggle. That is, unless you are able to find a way to change your
situation.”
“Which you believe I am able to do.”
There was not a great deal of hope left in his heart. Yes, both of his friends had regained their
fortunes, but he kept no such hope for himself. After all, he could still recall signing the document.
Yes, it had been under duress, but that meant very little. He had still done it. He had still willingly, if
not actually knowingly, signed away his fortune. In that regard, he was entirely different from his
friends, was he not?
But all the same, he mused. perhaps it would be a wise idea to make my way back into society
with those I consider my closest friends. That way I will be able to judge society’s response to my
continued presence in London. I would know whether or not I am to find any welcome here.
His resolve to return home was fading a little as he looked into each of his friend’s eyes. Both
Lord Wiltsham and Lord Foster wished for him to remain, promising that they would do whatever
they could to help him regain his fortune. Miss Lawrence and Miss Carshaw were both eagerly
looking at him, a small smile dancing across each mouth. It was obvious that they very much wished
for him to remain in London, clearly filled with the same hope for him, as had brought them and their
particular gentlemen such great happiness.
“Perhaps I shall attend one ball before my return.” This brought a slight squeal of delight from
Miss Carshaw and a warm smile from Miss Lawrence. His two friends merely grinned, nodding as
though they took credit for being able to convince him to linger. “This does not mean that I am staying
in London. It means only that I am attending just to see what society’s reaction might be to my
presence.”
“Regardless of your reason, I am simply delighted that you have chosen to stay for a little while
longer.” Lord Wiltsham clapped him on the back and Gideon winced at the resulting jolt of pain
which ran across his frame. “Another brandy perhaps?”
“Let us hope that I am making the right decision!” Gideon accepted a glass from Lord Wiltsham,
smiling despite his ongoing concern. “And where is it that we are to go this evening?”
Gideon looked around the room as Miss Carshaw and Lord Wiltsham exchanged a glance.
“There is a ball this evening. It is meant to be a grand affair, and indeed there is already a great
deal of rumor surrounding it. Perhaps that would be the best one for you to attend.”
It was not like his friends to think about rumor and gossip.
“What rumor?”
Miss Lawrence shrugged her shoulders.
“A particular gentleman has decided he is going to betroth himself to a particular young lady,
despite having been courting someone entirely different,” she explained. “I can guarantee that
everyone present will be talking of that and not of you. It may be a little bit disheartening for the
young lady involved, but at least it will take any interest in you away.”
“Mayhap I should be rather grateful to this young lady - whoever she is - for having stolen this
gentleman’s attention and drawn away the interest of the ton.” Wincing at his own harsh words, he
shrugged one shoulder. “Very well. I shall attend the ball this evening and hope that it is as you say.”
Else I shall return to my estate without delay. I see no reason to linger here any longer than
necessary.

I nervous and I dislike being nervous.

AM
Walking into the ballroom with his head held high, Gideon looked around the room with what he
hoped was a distinguished air. He did not want to show any sense of anxiety, aware that hiding
himself from society was perhaps not the wisest consideration at the present moment. If it was as had
been suggested, then the ton did not know about his loss of fortune since he had returned to his estate
very soon after the incident had taken place. Miss Lawrence had been correct to say he was not a
gentleman with a loud manner or an obvious desire for company. That went in his favor, perhaps,
although as yet he could not say for certain that it was so.
 “Good evening, how very good to see you again. I had heard that you had returned to your estate,
but now I see that you are back in London!”
Gideon nodded, a little surprised and frustrated at the tightness in his chest.
“Yes, that is true, but I decided to return to London - only for a short while, however.”
Just until I can discuss matters at length with my solicitors.
“I am certainly very glad to have you in our company this evening.”
Lord Gilmartin – their host for the evening - was warm and kind, clearly unaware of the
difficulties Gideon found himself in at present.
“I thank you.”
Gideon smiled, nodded, and stepped away, following Miss Lawrence and Lord Foster, noting that
her family stood nearby, although none of them were looking at Miss Lawrence.
“I was sure nothing would be said of you.”
The delight in Miss Lawrence’s voice made him smile, despite his own ongoing nervousness.
“Yes, indeed you were, and it seems that you have been proven correct.”
“Then I am sure that you are glad you came,” she shot back, one eyebrow lifting gently. “Perhaps
you will not find yourself as much of a stranger here this evening as you feared.”
“I quite agree. You need not worry so much, I think.” Lord Foster smiled at him, then his brows
drew together. “How is your arm this evening?”
Gideon grimaced and shrugged.
“That is what I find the most embarrassing. I am sure that the ton will speculate as to my injury,
and I cannot hide it from them either. I shall have to speak of it.”
“You ought not to be ashamed of your weakness. It is, after all, an injury that was done to you. It
will take some time to heal.”
Gideon let out a slow breath.
“Yes, you are quite right.” His smile was brief for while he agreed with everything Miss
Lawrence was saying, he did not feel as though he were able to do such a thing with any ease.
Whenever a gentleman went to grip his hand, he had struggled to put the strength into his fingers that
he’d once had, and oftentimes winced at others’ strong grasps. The pain shot down from his shoulder
towards his hand with the stiffness in his fingers and his arm feeling as if it might never end.
“No doubt it will be mentioned at some point soon that I no longer have the strength in my arm that
I once used to,” he grumbled as Miss Lawrence smiled softly. “I do not know what I shall say if
someone should ask me how it came about.”
Miss Lawrence shrugged.
“You could simply state the truth,” she replied gently. “Say that you were attacked by an unknown
assailant and that your attempts to recover have been successful thus far, but it will take a little longer
for you to regain your former strength. As I have said, there is nothing that you need to be ashamed
of.”
Gideon took in another deep breath and straightened his shoulders, looking around the room as he
did so.
“You say that there are some other whispers this evening?” he reminded Miss Lawrence and Lord
Foster, both of whom nodded fervently, with Lord Foster swiveling his head around as he looked
about the room, as if in search of the very person they spoke of. Gideon cleared his throat. “Might you
remind me what has taken place?”
“Certainly. Lord Coatbridge has been courting a young lady by the name of Lady Sara. To the
ton’s surprise, he has suddenly declared himself betrothed to another.” Lord Foster shrugged. “There
is no explanation for it as yet.”
Gideon lifted his eyebrows.
“Indeed. And he has given no reason for his swift betrothal?”
Miss Lawrence scowled.
“No, which, I believe, is part of the reason that so many will be watching him this evening. I
believe that many are hopeful that this evening will explain all to them, although I myself have quite
my own theory.”
“Oh?”
Even Lord Foster lifted an eyebrow and Miss Lawrence shrugged, a small, wry smile touching
her mouth.
“What reason does a gentleman have to betroth himself to a young lady without much warning?”
she asked, her eyes darkening slightly and no smile upon her lips any longer. “Perhaps he has behaved
poorly, and today must make amends.”
Considering, Gideon lifted one shoulder.
“That may well be so, although there are other alternatives, of course. Perhaps the young lady has
a father eager to wed her to any gentleman of quality and Lord Coatbridge has thought it an easy and
suitable match Perhaps her father has offered a great dowry and Lord Coatbridge cannot refuse such a
large sum.”
“Which would again make his character a good deal more questionable in my eyes,” Miss
Lawrence returned. “Are you acquainted with the lady in question? Lady Sara? Her father is the Earl
of Longford.”
“No, I do not believe I am.” Gideon smiled a little self-consciously, as he admitted to Miss
Lawrence how little society he had enjoyed. “Prior to this - as you may well know, given what Lord
Foster has told you about me - I have not been a gentleman often inclined towards a great many
acquaintances. I am content with only a few very close friends. I have never felt the need to introduce
myself to all and sundry. To my mind, it is a poor gentleman who boasts a vast number of
acquaintances but has very few friends.”
A small flush of heat rose in his chest, but Miss Lawrence only smiled.
“I do not think that a poor choice, Lord Stoneleigh., I quite understand it. I admire it, in fact.”
Her eyes suddenly caught on something over Gideon’s shoulder and she craned her neck a little,
forcing Gideon to give a small half turn, noticing two young ladies walking towards the three of them.
Miss Lawrence seemed to recognize them both.
“Do excuse me – and return my betrothed to me shortly, will you?”
Lord Foster grinned and then slipped away, as the two young ladies came to join them, frustrating
Gideon’s attempts to speak further with Lord Foster.
“Miss Cartwright, Lady Sara.” Miss Lawrence smiled warmly, then dropped into a quick curtsey.
“Good evening.”
“Good evening.”
Neither of the ladies were smiling, but Gideon found his attention caught by the brightness of one
set of vivid blue eyes, although he did not know which young lady was which as yet. Coughing gently,
he caught Miss Lawrence’s attention.
“Forgive me. Allow me to introduce The Marquess of Stoneleigh.”
She continued with the introductions as Gideon bowed, glad to know which was Lady Sara and
which Miss Cartwright.
“I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.”
 Now that he knew which lady was Lady Sara, he found his eyes lingering on her with a good deal
more intensity. She was not overly tall, and had gentle curves that left his mind wandering to places it
ought not. He should not be thinking about what it would be like to press a kiss to the delicate curve
of her throat, nor wondering how blue her eyes would be, should he be standing a good deal closer to
her. Indeed, it was a very strange thing for him to be thinking at all, for he was not a man inclined to
such thoughts. He had always admired young ladies, yes, and had found them beautiful, charming, and
quite delightful, but had never found himself drawn to one as he was in this moment.
“Lord Stoneleigh?”
A chill ran across Gideon’s skin, his feet shifting as he dropped his head, realizing that he had lost
the thread of the conversation entirely. He had been far too busy trying to understand all that he was
thinking and feeling, instead of paying any attention to what was being said.
“I am afraid we have only just arrived, so I cannot say whether or not I have enjoyed this evening
as yet. Lord Coatbridge will be able to give his own opinion, however.”
“Alas, I have only been here a few minutes myself also.” Relieved that Miss Lawrence had
obviously seen the worry in his face, he glanced at her. “I am certain that it will be a pleasant
evening. I am sure you will both enjoy it.”
“I am certain that some of us shall, yes, but even if there is no particular enjoyment, I expect that it
will not be dull.”
Her words were almost sharp, and there was a depth of meaning coloring them. Swiftly
remembering what Miss Lawrence had told him about Lord Coatbridge and the young lady he had
been courting, Gideon sent another look towards Miss Lawrence who gave him a small nod. Gideon
did not want to make it obvious that he knew of Lady Sara’s reasons for feeling so miserable but, to
his surprise, found himself desirous of improving the evening for her as best he could.
“I may not be the most proficient dancer, but I can certainly do my utmost to make certain that your
evening is a little less disappointing,” he found himself saying. “That is, if you should wish to step out
with me.”
It seemed to take the lady a few moments to realize what he was asking her, for she stared at him
with incomprehension in her eyes, before light suddenly dawned.
“You mean to ask me to dance?”
Gideon chuckled, pushing away the slight discomfort which came with her surprise.
“Yes, Lady Sara, if you should like to dance, I would be glad to step out with you. And you also,
Miss Cartwright.”
The latter smiled and immediately pulled her dance card from her wrist, handing it to him without
a second thought. Relieved that at least one of the two showed happiness at his request. Gideon took
his time in selecting the dance. His arm was already stiff and sore, and perhaps even more pain
would come to him because of the dancing, but it would be worth it. He had not stepped out with any
young lady in some time. It was all too easy to forget that he no longer had the fortune he had once
possessed, far too easy to simply imagine himself back in a position of wealth and fortune, and able
to give himself and any young lady he chose a happy and contented future. Now, this could only mean
a dance, and nothing more. He was not in a position to be able to offer anything else.
“What say you to the country dance, Miss Cartwright?”
“An excellent choice, my Lord,” came the eager reply and he smiled as he signed his name and
handed it back to the lady.
He then turned his attention to Lady Sara, not blinking when he looked into her eyes, and steeling
himself for her refusal. She had not even taken the dance card from her wrist.
 “Lady Sara? If you have no wish to dance this evening, then –”
“No.” The slight lifted to her chin spoke of a sudden and fierce determination as she slipped her
dance card from her wrist. “Forgive my tardiness, Lord. Stoneleigh. You find me a little on edge this
evening, which perhaps has not made for the best of introductions. Forgive me. I should be very glad
to dance with you. Thank you for your invitation.”
Having carefully considered the dances, it did not take him long to sign his name.
“The quadrille, Lady Sara. I hope that pleases you.”
“It does, Lord Stoneleigh.” Taking it back from him, she gave him a brief smile, although there
was a slight glint of steel in her gaze. “I look forward to stepping out with you.”
They took their leave, and left Gideon and Miss Lawrence standing together.
“So that is Lady Sara, who has been pushed aside by Lord Coatbridge,” Miss Lawrence
explained.
“Which is nothing but foolishness as far as I can see,” Gideon replied, speaking without
consideration or having any desire to keep his thoughts to himself. “She is certainly quite beautiful
and from a suitable family. I am certain that she would have made him an excellent wife.” Miss
Lawrence turned her head and gave him a slightly surprised look, with wide eyes and eyebrows that
lifted momentarily. Heat burned in his chest, and he turned his gaze away. “I am being nothing but
complimentary.” He forced the words out of the corner of his mouth. “Nothing other than that.”
Miss Lawrence laughed.
“I think that you have done her a great service. This will bring a little joy to the evening, although
I must confess that I myself am a little upset.”
“You are upset?” His eyes rounded as she nodded. “Goodness. Whatever have I done? Pray tell
me at once, so that I might rectify it.”
Much to his relief, Miss Lawrence only smiled at him, making him realize that she was teasing.
“Why, Lord Stoneleigh, you have asked Miss Cartwright to dance, and Lady Sara also, but you
have not asked if I should like to do so. I know that I am betrothed to your friend, but that does not
mean you cannot step out with me also, does it?”
Chuckling, Gideon held up both hands.
“That is a grave mistake on my part. One which I think to rectify at this very moment, if you will
forgive me?”
Miss Lawrence considered for a moment, then laughed.
“Of course.” Her smile faded. “So long as your arm does not become further injured.”
“I shall be quite alright,” he assured her, grateful for her consideration. “You must pray that I will
remember all the steps. If I tread on your toes, then you shall have to forgive my forgetfulness.”
Miss Lawrence smiled, the brightness in her eyes returning.
“It cannot be as bad as all that, Lord Stoneleigh.”
He offered her his arm.
“There is only one way to find out, Miss Lawrence. Let us go and see.”
 CHAPTER THREE

“ASarand shrugged
how do you feel this morning?”
both shoulders.
“I am doing my utmost to find a little joy, but last evening was rather trying.”
Her friend lifted an eyebrow.
“Even with Lord Stoneleigh’s attention? He made you smile at least.”
Sara considered for a moment. Lord Stoneleigh had brought a certain lightness to the evening,
definitely, particularly as she had been in a dispirited frame of mind to start with.
“I shall admit that he was a helpful distraction for a time, yes.”
“And you did not speak to Lord Coatbridge again, I assume?”
“No, I did not.” Sara tossed her head. “Instead of feeling sorrow, I found myself rather angry.” A
slight flush burned in her cheeks. “Although I certainly am regretful for speaking so unkindly. His
newly betrothed Lady Nora did not deserve my harsh words. I was rather thoughtless, was I not?”
Her friend did not disabuse her of this notion, nodding in evident agreement. “I should have been a
good deal more considerate. I wished to injure Lord Coatbridge, but had you not called me back, I
believe I would have injured the lady who has nothing to do with this situation. It appeared that she
was without awareness that Lord Coatbridge and I had been courting.”
“Yes, I would agree with that.” Miss Cartwright pulled her mouth to one side. “My heart does
pain itself for her. It seems as though she has been quite taken in by his charm, and perhaps even
believes that he feels a good deal more for her than he truly does.”
Sara winced.
“Perhaps she is not as unaware of it now, given what I said. It turns out that I would have been
better staying at home last evening just as I said to my mother, although I will admit that I had not
expected to feel such anger upon seeing him.”
“That is something you cannot be irritated with yourself about either,” her friend insisted. “You
were done a great wrong. It is natural to feel such things.” She smiled softly. “I did find Lord
Stoneleigh’s company last evening most pleasant.”
As she shot her friend a quick look, Sara’s eyebrows lifted and her heart turned over with
concern, only for Miss Cartwright to laugh.
“No, indeed you need not think that I am enamored of him in any way. It is more that I was grateful
for a gentleman who was eager to listen and did not force his conversation upon me. I was very glad
for your sake too, did you not think the same?”
Sara swallowed, aware of the warmth in her cheeks.
“I will confess to you that I spent the majority of my dance with him looking over his shoulder to
determine where Lord Coatbridge and his betrothed might be,” she admitted quickly, realizing that
Lord Stoneleigh must have thought her a very poor dancer indeed, if not dreadful company.
“Goodness.” Her friend’s eyes widened a little. “Then might I say that you missed an excellent
opportunity to converse with him. Lord Stoneleigh was most engaging to talk with and, I think, would
have been able to distract you further from Lord Coatbridge had you give him the opportunity.”
“Mayhap I shall have the chance to dance with him again,” Sara protested a little weakly. “I did
not find anything wrong with his dancing, however. I will say that.”
“He did apologize to me about his arm, although I did not notice it.” Hannah told her as Sara
frowned. “Did he not speak so to you? I thought he did very well for a gentleman who had been
injured.”
Again, Sara was quite at a loss as to what her friend was speaking of. Spreading her hands, she
tried to smile, only for her friend to roll her eyes.
“You mean to say that you have very little idea of what I am speaking about?”
“I do not recall him saying anything to me about his arm. Was this spoken to you at the start or the
end of the dance?”
“It was before,” Miss Cartwright informed her. “Given that I danced with him before you did, I
would have assumed that he would have said the same to you.”
Sara slowly began to realize just how dreadful a dancing partner she had been last evening. No
doubt Lord Stoneleigh would have thought her very rude for ignoring his conversation entirely, or not
responding to anything he had said. Had he noticed the way that she had concentrated her gaze to look
over his shoulder? Had he noticed her distraction? On the whole, she had thought that the dance had
gone very well indeed, but it seemed now as though she had not been paying any attention. And that
was to her shame.
“I believe I may have an apology to make to Lord Stoneleigh,” she murmured quietly. “Goodness,
he must think terribly of me.”
Miss Cartwright smiled.
“Mayhap he is understanding. Evidently, he knew the cause of your difficulties last evening, given
what he said. I am sure that he will realize why you were so distracted, and will not think poorly of
you because of it.”
“He seems to have made an excellent impression upon you,” Sara remarked as her friend nodded,
her eyes twinkling.
“Alas, as favorably as I look upon Lord Stoneleigh, I must confess that I find Lord Millwood a
little better – but then I should, as we are to marry!” Her friend laughed. “Although I do think that
Lord Stoneleigh would be an excellent gentleman for you to consider.”
Sara immediately shook her head.
“I have only just been spurned by one gentleman. Perhaps it would be wise for me to take a short
time away from them all!”
“From all gentlemen?” Miss Cartwright asked as Sara nodded. “That is a little severe, do you not
think? There are many excellent gentlemen in London.”
“That may be so, but I struggle to find them! I believed that Lord Coatbridge was one such fellow,
and now look where I am. I am not certain that I can trust any gentleman again!”
“That does not mean that they are all as Lord Coatbridge was,” her friend replied simply. “Come
now. Let us go to the park for a walk, as we had planned, and I am certain that we will find some
excellent gentlemen to speak with. They will pull you from your thoughts of Lord Coatbridge.”
Sara sighed and was about to refuse, only for the door to open and for her mother to step inside.
She murmured a quick hello to Miss Cartwright but made her way to Sara almost immediately.
“My dear, I have wonderful news!” her mother exclaimed, immediately catching Sara’s interest.
“Yes, Mama?”
Shifting a little further forward in her seat, she waited as her mother clasped her hands together.
“I have just heard from my dear friend, Lady Simpson, that her nephew is eager to make your
acquaintance and has every intention of courting you as soon as he can.”
Sara’s stomach dropped. She had no doubt that her mother was intending to encourage her through
this, but the last thing she required at present was simply to be snatched up by another gentleman. He
might simply believe her to be broken-hearted and therefore an easy pursuit, or an easy path to the
funds of her dowry. Whether he wished to court and wed her or, in fact, desired to gain her interest
for something a little less proper, she could not tell, but she was much too wary to simply accept that
the gentleman’s interest was genuine – particularly when she could not be certain that they had even
been introduced.
“What is the name of this gentleman, Mama?” A quick glance toward Hannah told her that her
friend shared the same concern, for there was no smile on her face, and her eyes were a little
narrowed, a frown pulling at her brows.
“It is Lord Betley, a most distinguished gentleman who I believe has a great estate in Scotland.”
“Yes, I have heard of the fellow.”
After another glance towards Miss Cartwright, the concern which lingered in her face lingered in
her heart also, for Hannah frowned with concern. Many rumors were going around about Lord Betley
- which her mother obviously had not heard - but as far as Sara was concerned, he was not a
gentleman that she wished to spend any length of time with.
“I believe that he intends to call this very afternoon,” her mother continued brightly, as though
Sara ought to be half out of her chair with joy. “We must make certain that you are fully prepared.”
“Alas, Mama, I have already agreed to go to the park and walk with Miss Cartwright,
accompanied by my maid, and one of our footmen, of course,” Sara interrupted, as her mother
frowned. “We also wish to go into town so she might collect her new gloves for the ball tomorrow
evening since it is to be her betrothal ball. You must understand that my dear friendship with Miss
Cartwright will not permit me to break my word.”
Seeing her friend about to open her mouth in protest, Sara gave her a small shake of her head and,
thankfully, Miss Cartwright fell silent
Lady Longford sighed.
“No, I suppose I should not ask you to do such a thing.”
Her displeasure was obvious, but Sara paid no heed.
“Thank you, Mama. If you will excuse me, I must go and prepare myself, so that we might leave
within the hour.”
At this, her mother threw up her hands and left the room, leaving Sara to fall back into her chair
with relief, her eyes closing and one hand fluttering across her forehead.
“I believe you have heard the same as I, concerning Lord Betley?” Hannah remarked as Sara
nodded. “It appears he is not a gentleman who is well considered.”
“I have heard that he makes himself quite delightful to every mother in London,” Sara remarked,
opening her eyes. “But that his conduct in private is quite improper. Had my mother heard of this, then
I am quite sure that she would not be so willing to push me into his company.”
Hannah sighed and shook her head.
“It is unfortunate that some gentlemen can do just as they please in that regard. They may have a
wife and continue on with any and every flirtation, with no one disapproving. I am glad that you are
cautious, my dear friend. He is not a gentleman you ought to consider. Not to my mind, at least.”
“I quite agree,” Sara acknowledged. “It seems that you are to have your trip into town after all,
my dear friend. We must depart before my mother comes up with another reason why I cannot simply
go into town with you, and must instead stay to greet Lord Betley!”
Miss Cartwright laughed, rising from her chair.
“I am certain that we will find excellent company, and you will forget all about Lord Coatbridge
and everything he has done,” she declared as Sara rolled her eyes. “And if not, then we shall make
certain to spend our pin money on something beautiful.”
That idea brought a smile to Sara’s face.
“A capital idea,” she agreed, as they walked from the room. “And I have just the thing in mind!”

“I MUST SAY, that is the most fetching bonnet, and the ribbon certainly brings out the color in your
eyes.”
The proprietor smiled warmly as Sara tied the ribbons under her chin. She had no need for a new
bonnet, but it was a pleasure just to be able to look at them, and try them on. Besides which, her father
would have no qualms if she purchased something for herself, not after the trouble she had endured
thus far with Lord Coatbridge.
“It certainly does.”
Miss Cartwright agreed, as Sara smiled back at her reflection in the mirror. She caught Miss
Cartwright’s gaze, seeing her smile, but also the slight dancing of her eyes, telling Sara that she knew
all too well that her desire for a new bonnet came only to soothe her injured spirits, rather than
because she required one.
“I think I shall purchase it.” Waving one hand towards the bonnet she had worn from the house,
she smiled quickly. “Might you return my bonnet to the house in place of this one? I think I should
quite like to wear this today.”
“Yes, of course.”
Obviously glad to have made a sale, the proprietor beamed at her and agreed readily, commenting
again on how well chosen the bonnet had been. Sara smiled with gentle affection, aware that the lady
was doing all she could to encourage Sara to come back to her shop again, at another time which she
had every intention of doing.
“And I am most pleased with these gloves.” Miss Cartwright set down the pair of silk gloves that
she had ordered last week, and which the proprietor had just delivered to her. “I have a ball
tomorrow and I certainly do require this new pair. I am afraid that my current pair has a slight hole in
one of the fingertips and I could not allow them to be seen, particularly at my betrothal ball!”
This prompted a flurry of congratulations from the lady, who then encouraged Miss Cartwright to
return should she require anything for her wedding chest.
After a short delay, they were able to leave the shop and stepped out into glorious sunshine. Sara
smiled to herself, tipping her head up for just a moment before ducking it again under the shadow of
her bonnet. She did not want to have even one freckle, but the feel of the warmth on her face was too
delightful to forgo.
“I think this a very pretty bonnet,” she sighed. “Do you not think so?”
 “Indeed I do, although I do not think you purchased it simply because of how lovely it is.”
Sara chuckled.
“Why then, pray tell?”
“You cannot escape my notice,” her friend laughed. “I do hope that it has been successful in its
purpose of lifting your spirits somewhat?”
Laughing, Sara looked away for a moment as they meandered slowly together along the street,
keeping to their own conversation rather than stopping to greet any other, with the footman and the
maid trailing after them at a suitable distance.
“Yes, I suppose you are right. I cannot hide such a thing from you. It has improved my spirits a
great deal and I find myself quite pleased with the day. Indeed, I have forgotten about Lady Nora and
Lord Coatbridge. Instead of feeling aggrieved, I now feel almost contented!”
“And all because of a bonnet,” Miss Cartwright laughed, linking arms with her friend. “The blue
ribbons certainly do match the color of your eyes. I will say that,” Miss Cartwright added.
“And are you contented with your gloves?”
“Oh yes. I am very much looking forward to the ball tomorrow. I am still somewhat shocked to
imagine myself a bride! It is astonishing in many ways.”
“But you are happy with your choice?”
Miss Cartwright nodded.
“I could not think of anyone other than Lord Millwood. I am more than content. It is a very
difficult emotion to express, and I do not think I can satisfactorily tell you all that I feel for him! I do
not think I have ever been so filled with joy.”
A little surprised at the heat of envy rising slowly from the depths of her soul, Sara patted her
friend’s arm.
“Perhaps I, one day, shall share that particular emotion with a gentleman of my own.”
“I am certain that you will, so long as you are patient.”
“Whatever has patience to do with it?”
Sara blinked in surprise as Miss Cartwright laughed softly, as though she had said something
foolish.
“It is to say that such an emotion does not simply appear one day. Perhaps for some, they might
feel a great and overwhelming emotion initially, but the depths of feeling that I now experience I
believe will take a little time. That is where patience is required.”
“You have not always felt so for Lord Millwood?”
Sara looked at her friend as they walked, noting the smile which seemed to linger every time Miss
Cartwright spoke of Lord Millwood.
“No, not always. My dear Lord Millwood and I courted for some time before he decided to
propose. My feelings about him were, by that time, so great that I was able to consider everything that
I felt and accepted him without hesitation, knowing that it would be both a practical match as well as
one of love.”
“You mean to say you told him all that was within your heart?”
A little surprised at the openness of her friend, Sara’s eyes widened as Miss Cartwright nodded.
“Of course I did. Because we had been in such close acquaintance for a long time, there had
grown a great bond of trust between us. I would not have kept anything from him for the world.” The
envy that Sara had battled with again rose up like a fiery wave that she had to fight hard to push away.
“That is why I speak of patience,” her friend finished. “Such a close acquaintance can take a good
deal of time to develop. You cannot expect it to rush towards you at great speed - although I have
heard on occasion that it has done so for certain individuals, even though that is not my experience.”
“I believe that my feelings for Lord Coatbridge would have grown still further, had I been courted
by him for any longer length of time.”
Her shoulders dropped.
“But that is good, is it not? It is good that your feelings were not so very great, so that you have
not been completely shattered by his betrayal, although I shall not say that you are in any sort of
enviable position. I would encourage you to push against your mother’s urge to match you with a
suitable gentleman. Take as much time as you can to find a husband who truly suits you. Allow the
Season to go by with great slowness and deliberation on your part and use that inquisitive nature of
yours to make certain that any gentleman who seeks your affections is worthy of them.”
Sara arched an eyebrow.
“Are you saying that I am a little nosy, my dear friend?”
Again, Miss Cartwright laughed, but she did not immediately disagree.
“I believe I used the word inquisitive,” came the answer, making Sara laugh. “Come now, we are
dear friends, are we not? I know you well – and after our conversation this morning about Lord
Stoneleigh, I can already imagine what questions are in your mind when it comes to him.” Sara
attempted to find the words to disagree, but her conscience forbade her from speaking aloud. “Am I
incorrect in my assumptions?”
Sighing, Sara shook her head, as they turned to step into a bookshop. Dropping her voice low, she
spoke a little more quietly to her friend as they wandered among the shelves stacked with books.
“If you are asking whether or not I am thinking about Lord Stoneleigh, and the injury to his arm,
and whether or not he spoke to me of it, then the answer would be yes. I will not pretend otherwise.”
She threw a smile to Miss Cartwright, but her friend did not see it as she picked up a book, now
scrutinizing the cover. “I find myself wondering where he sustained such an injury, and why his arm is
still so painful to the point that he felt the need to speak of it. And I find myself wondering whether or
not he spoke to me about it in the same way he spoke to you. Yes, my friend, I do have a great many
questions about Lord Stoneleigh!”
“I did speak to you about my arm before we began the dance.”
A deep voice made her jump in surprise and, when she turned her head, there, standing before her,
was none other than Lord Stoneleigh. His back was straight, his head held high with one hand holding
his hat close to his side.
“I do not… That is to say…” Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a breath. “Good afternoon,
Lord Stoneleigh.”
Aware that she was fumbling for what she ought to say in such a circumstance as this, Sara let her
gaze dart around the shop rather than looking into his face. How long has he been standing there?
How much has he heard from my lips?
“Good afternoon.” Lord Stoneleigh murmured the words, inclining his head as Sara’s heart
ricocheted around her chest. She managed to drop into a quick, bobbed curtsey. “And good afternoon
to you also, Miss Cartwright.”
Sara caught her friend’s eye for a moment as she gave a soft reply, only to then turn away from
Lord Stoneleigh entirely - but not before Sara had caught the redness in her cheeks. She had no other
choice but to turn her attention directly back to Lord Stoneleigh.
“Forgive me, Lord Stoneleigh, for what you have, no doubt, overheard from me.” Sara’s face was
burning as Lord Stoneleigh looked at her, his eyebrows a little lifted. His dark brown eyes were in
sharp contrast to the fair hair which draped itself across his forehead, and Sara struggled to look
straight into his face. There was a tightness to his square jaw, and the way that he dropped his chin a
little to look down at her was somewhat intimidating. Choosing to be honest, she threw out both
hands. “My friend has only just finished accusing me of being much too inquisitive and alas, I find that
I must agree.”
“So it would seem.”
Lord Stoneleigh clasped his hands behind his back, his lips pursing for a moment. His sudden
change in expression reminded Sara that she had spoken of his arm.
“Forgive me for my lack of attention last evening, my Lord. I believe I was a very poor partner
for you, and missed a great deal of your conversation, no doubt due to my own feelings and
distractions.”
“You were preoccupied,” he agreed, shifting from one foot to the other, his head turning slightly as
she took him in. His expression was inscrutable, and she could not tell whether or not he was irritated
with her, or whether he found the entire situation a little mirthful. The broad shoulders and obvious
strength in his frame were entirely in contrast to Lord Coatbridge, who was rather slender in his
frame, and Sara found her heart quickening all the more. “I have been informed about the difficulties
which you faced last evening, Lady Sara.” His hands swung back but she did not miss the flicker in
his dark eyes which came as he did so. Evidently, his arm still pained him. Clearing his throat, he
lifted one eyebrow as she flung her eyes back towards him, only just realizing that her gaze had been
on his arm.
Tension burned the air between them.
“Pray forgive my inquisitiveness. I shall not be demanding any answers from you, I can assure
you.”
Lord Stoneleigh’s smile was sudden, bright, and took her breath for a moment.
“That is a very great relief. I only spoke a little in apology for being unable to dance with my
usual vigor, but did not give any particular details. Given your own situation, I am sure that you can
understand my reasons for doing so.”
His eyes were suddenly lit with a fire that Sara had never seen in him before, and her
embarrassment grew all the more. Pressing one hand to his heart, Lord Stoneleigh bowed and, without
another word, turned on his heel and made his way from her company and the bookshop itself. Sara
blinked in astonishment, following him with her eyes and wondering whether or not she had seen
mirth his expression, or if it had been something entirely different.
“Goodness, that was most embarrassing.” Miss Cartwright was beside her again in a moment,
clearly relieved that Lord Stoneleigh had left the bookshop. “How much did he overhear, do you
think?”
Grimacing, Sara let out a long breath.
“I cannot say entirely, but from what he said, I believe that he caught me talking about his arm and
the injury he has so clearly sustained to it.”
Her friend patted her arm.
“Pray, do not give it too much thought. He will forget it soon enough, and you apologized quite
beautifully.”
Sara’s embarrassment did not fade.
“Perhaps, although I do not think he will ever ask me to dance again.”
“Answer me this. After this situation, are you going to step back from such curiosity?” her friend
asked, as she returned her gaze to Sara. “Shall you continue to wonder about Lord Stoneleigh and his
injured arm, or will you push him away entirely and focus on something else?”
 As much as she wanted to say otherwise, the truth formed words on her lips, and she had no
choice but to speak it.
“I am afraid that what I will do is quite the opposite of what I ought to do, my dear friend,” she
answered as Miss Crawford laughed and shook her head. “But, after speaking with the gentleman, I
am ashamed to say that I am all the more intrigued by him. I do not think that I can let my curiosity
about him aside, yet.”
 CHAPTER FOUR

“W hat is it you remember from that evening?”

“Very little.” Gideon passed one hand over his eyes. “I know that is the same for most of us, but
my memory is so clouded that I struggle to recall even a single thing that happened. All I can
remember is pain.”
Lord Wiltsham scowled.
“The fact that you were injured shows that these are men who are willing to go to any length to get
what they want,” he replied. “You know that I have tried to speak to Lord Kingston about that evening
and whether he knows the gentleman involved with what happened to you, but Kingston is saying very
little. I believe he is so furious with having to capitulate that he will remain quite silent on the matter
from now on.”
Gideon shrugged.
“It is to be expected. I can understand that he wishes to defend himself as best he can. He will not
want to give in to anything else, any more than he already has done.”
“Precisely. His reputation is quite ruined, of course. The gentlemen of the ton already knew to
avoid the fellow, but the fact that they are now speaking openly about him and his situation at present,
as well as about all that he has done, means that there is very little left for him. It is very strange how
angry he is, given that what he has done, he has done to himself. But he seems to believe that he is
being treated most unfairly.”
Unable to help himself, Gideon chuckled darkly.
“It is very odd how one’s sins never appear to be so very bad until they affect oneself.” One hand
rubbed over his eyes. “How much I would give to speak to Lord Gillespie about what he did.”
Lord Wiltsham shook his head.
“Do you remember him leading us there?”
Gideon hesitated, dropping his hand.
“I know that we all went to the East End of London on Lord Gillespie’s advice. I recall that he
encouraged us to go there to gamble and enjoy the evening, but I cannot remember sitting at a table
with anyone – himself included. I am beginning to wonder whether or not I actually did such a thing or
if perhaps I was involved in something else. How would I have become injured?”
“Ah, there is something I cannot answer,” Lord Wiltsham replied, swirling his brandy around in
his glass. “There were many other pursuits and interests available there that evening, I remember.
Why do you not return there? Why do you not go to see what there is to see in that location? Perhaps
being back in the place where you were injured might bring something to mind.”
Gideon nodded slowly, ignoring the worry which began to coil around his heart at the thought of
returning to that place. Even remembering what he had endured – the struggle and the pain – made him
shudder.
“You are probably right.” Taking a sip of his brandy, Gideon let out a long sigh. “To be truthful, I
am struggling to find any hope in this situation. I am a little more encouraged now that I know that
both you and Lord Foster have regained your fortunes, but at the same time, I find it difficult to allow
that same hope for myself. It is a strange conundrum.”
“And one that I can well understand,” Lord Wiltsham replied. “But you are not alone in this. Lord
Foster may not be present, given that he and Miss Lawrence have now left town to make final
arrangements for their wedding, but I am here at least. Perhaps I could accompany you to the East
End.”
Considering, Gideon did not say either yes or no, choosing to remain silent for the moment and
consider what he might do instead. His intention had always been to remain in London solely to speak
with his solicitors with regard to the dreadful state of his affairs, do whatever he could to ameliorate
that, and then return to his estate. Now, however, he found himself staying in London for the Season,
perhaps hoping beyond all hope that he would find some way to regain what had once been his – even
though he had, in fact, signed the contract that had taken that fortune away from him.
“You must not take on any burden of guilt either.” Lord Wiltsham spoke a little more gently as if
he had been able to see exactly what was in Gideon’s mind. “There is nothing that any of us did that
deserved such treatment at the hands of others. Do not allow yourself to believe that for a single
moment.”
A scowl tugged at Gideon’s mouth.
“I fear that you know my heart a good deal better than I know it myself.”
Lord Wiltsham chuckled.
“No, but I know my own, and I know what I myself thought. It is a burden, certainly but you must
not take on any responsibility for losing your fortune, nor for your injury. Might I ask how your arm is
at the moment?”
The scowl on Gideon’s face only darkened.
“I wake up every day in the expectant hope that it will be a little more improved, only to discover
that it is precisely as stiff and as painful as the day before.” Shaking his head, he gestured with his
other hand. “And what is worse, it is very apparent to those around me.”
“Very apparent?” Lord Wiltsham repeated, frowning. “What do you mean?”
“That is what I mean. I was walking in town yesterday and thought to stop at a bookshop. You can
imagine my surprise to overhear my name being spoken.” When Lord Wiltsham’s eyebrows lifted,
Gideon sighed and rolled his eyes. “Lady Sara was speaking about me with her friend. It is foolish to
allow myself to be so frustrated by her interest, but to hear her discussing my arm and how I could
have sustained such an injury was a little irritating.”
“I can well understand that,” Lord Wiltsham admitted. “But you are mentioning your arm to those
in the ton?”
“No, not in any great detail. I simply stated that my arm had been a little injured of late and I
hoped it would not impede our dance in any way. At the time, I did not think that Lady Sara even paid
me the smallest attention! But now, it seems, she is far too eager to discuss what I said and find out
what has happened to cause me such pain.
Lord Wiltsham frowned.
“Did you speak to her about what you had overheard?”
Gideon shrugged.
 “We conversed a little. She did apologize to me for speaking so freely but all the same, I find
myself a little frustrated that my injuries are nothing more than a discussion.”
“But you know that the ton is very much inclined towards such things. I would not take the matter
seriously.”
“I shall have to find something to say as regards my injury. I have no wish to tell the truth, of
course, but –”
Lord Wiltsham chuckled, interrupting him.
“Why do you not state that you injured your arm in response to saving the reputation of a
particular young lady, whom you simply cannot mention due to propriety. You struck out at the
gentleman seeking to take advantage of her and caused the pain in your shoulder and subsequently,
your arm. That shall make certain that the ton think incredibly highly of you.”
Gideon could not help but laugh.
“Indeed, but it would also be a complete fabrication.”
“In these circumstances, I hardly think that matters,” Lord Wiltsham replied with a grin.
“I suppose it would make me a little more contented with the situation.”
“Then there is no reason not to do so, is there?” Lord Wiltsham smiled but caught sight of
someone across the room. Lifting his glass in their direction, arising from his chair, he gestured
towards Gideon. “Pray excuse me. I will only be a moment.”
Gideon shook his head.
“Do not hesitate on my account. I may find myself back in the ballroom after all.”
Lord Wiltsham lifted his eyebrows and chuckled.
“Then if you do so, might I wish you all the good fortune that an evening like this can bring. And
remember, you are injured because of the young lady whose honor you saved,” he reminded him, as
Gideon nodded. “Enjoy the rest of the evening, my friend.”
There was no real intention in Gideon’s heart to remove himself from the gentleman’s parlor and
make his way back to the ballroom, but all the same, he could not simply linger here for the rest of the
evening. Perhaps it would be best for him to return home, especially since he had no intention of
dancing with any of the beautiful young ladies who were present. Even though Lord Wiltsham joked
about saying providing a fictitious explanation for his injury, Gideon himself had no real desire to
speak in detail about it to anyone.
Especially not to Lady Sara.
Sighing, he pushed himself out of the chair, still thinking about Lord Wiltsham’s suggestion of
making his way to the East End, to look in the place where he had gone that dreadful night, so that he
might try to recall what had happened. The evening was not yet particularly late, so there was no
reason for him not to do so at this present moment - save for the fact that his heart and mind demanded
that he remain precisely where he was.
Finishing his brandy in one quick gulp, Gideon made his way back to the ballroom, which was
full of happy voices, laughter, smiles, dancing, and all manner of delights - all the things that felt quite
at odds with the state of his own heart. He was despondent - sorrowful even – and irritated still with
Lady Sara.
Her opinion ought not to have such a great influence on me.
“Good evening, Lord Stoneleigh.”
Gideon was forced to stumble back as the young lady in question appeared right before him,
coming towards him with quick steps so that he was forced to respond.
“Good evening, Lady Sara.” His smile was brief, the urge to turn from her growing steadily. “I do
hope that you are enjoying the evening.”
“But evidently you are not. You have not stepped out into the ballroom since your arrival.” Her
head tilted and she gave him a small smile, one which Gideon did not return. “Have you decided now
that you will step out with the rest of us?”
Silently wondering how the young lady had noticed that he had been in the gentleman’s parlor
rather than in the ballroom, Gideon cleared his throat and attempted to clasp his hands behind his
back, only for his shoulder to scream. He had done that same action in the bookshop, but that action
had brought him nothing but aches and agony for the rest of the day, and he was not about to do the
same thing now and worsen it still further.
“Alas, I am to make my way elsewhere.“
“But you have not danced!” Lady Sara seemed rather stunned by his eagerness to depart. “Pray
tell me that you did not come to a ball with the intention to simply leave again without so much as
stepping out with any young lady?”
Growing all the more frustrated, Gideon shook his head.
“I am afraid that I have very little time for dancing. I am not as inclined towards it as the young
ladies are, it would seem.”
“Which is all the more reason to be generous towards such young ladies as myself,” came the
reply.
This was sent with a rather warm smile, which did light the edges of her eyes, but Gideon was in
no mood to be entrapped.
“Unfortunately, I have something of great interest and even greater importance, which I must do
immediately, and without delay. Pray excuse me, Lady Sara.”
Turning his head, he made to walk away, only for a hand to catch his arm. It pulled him back in
such a fashion that a loud exclamation came from his lips before he could prevent it, and he whirled
around at once, his whole arm screaming with pain.
A quiet hush began to fill the area around them as each gentleman and lady turned to look directly
at Gideon and Lady Sara. Evidently his bellow had been overheard, and a good many guests were
now looking towards him, clearly wondering about the reason behind it. Shame built in his chest,
sending heat pouring into his face as he bowed towards Lady Sara, struggling to find an explanation
that would satisfy the ton without revealing the depths of his weakness.
“That is most interesting, Lady Sara.” Speaking loudly enough for those nearby to hear, he forced
a tight smile. “I am always interested to hear how well other gentlemen’s horses have been faring,
particularly when I am in search of a stallion for my own collection.”
Lady Sara’s eyes were a little glassy as she nodded, clearly aware that she had made a grave
mistake.
“Of - of course, Lord Stoneleigh,” came the soft reply, as her bright blue eyes flared. “I should be
glad to talk with you on this matter at any time. I do hope that you enjoy the rest of the evening.”
It took a moment, but eventually, the buzz of conversation filled the room again, and Gideon
closed his eyes, letting out a small sigh of relief. Lady Sara reached out for him, but Gideon stepped
back. She had done enough already.
“I am so very sorry, Lord Stoneleigh. I did not mean to injure you so.”
“And yet you did.” Gritting his teeth, he took another step back. “Good evening, Lady Sara.”
Then he turned and made his way directly through the crowd, and out towards the front of the
house. He had no desire to stay here any longer, particularly not after what Lady Sara had just done.
Fire was racing up and down his arm, for the wound to his shoulder was still not entirely recovered.
Whatever she had wrenched as she had tugged at him had caused a great deal of pain, and though he
was unwilling to show any evidence of it in his expression, inwardly Gideon was fighting against the
waves of agony.
He had no coin to speak of, and it was only through Lord Wiltsham’s generosity that he was able
to call a cab to take him where he wished to go.
Sitting back, Gideon closed his eyes. All thought of returning to the East End tonight was gone, for
he certainly did not feel able to do so at this present moment. Lady Sara had put end to that when she
had pulled upon his arm.
Tomorrow, he told himself, his jaw still tight with pain. Tomorrow, I shall make my way there
again.

WITHOUT SAYING a word to Lord Wiltsham about where he was going, Gideon quietly made his way
from the house. His arm was a little better than it had been the previous evening, although he had
spent a somewhat restless night battling against the pain which had continued to course through him.
After he had broken his fast, however, he had felt a good deal better, and had spent the morning
speaking with his solicitors about his present circumstances. That had been severely disheartening,
however, and he had returned to Lord Wiltsham’s house with his spirits rather low. If he did not
regain his fortune, then he would have to do a good deal more than simply allow another family to
live in his townhouse and pay him for their time there. What he was doing was helping a little, but it
would not be enough.
There were no cabs nearby, so Gideon began to walk towards the center of London, knowing that
he would find one there. In the afternoon sunshine, both ladies and gentlemen were promenading up
and down the streets, some making their way into various shops whilst others simply stood to talk. He
did not glance at any of them, instead choosing to make his way directly without hesitation. He was
quite certain that someone called his name, but he ignored it, his mind fixed on his sole purpose.
Hailing the first cab he saw, he climbed in quickly and gave the address he wished to go to, to the
jarvey. He had not expected to feel such uncertainty over his return to the place where he had lost so
much, but yet, he could feel his heart beating a little more quickly and his mouth went a little dry. This
was the place where he had gone that evening, glad that Lord Gillespie – a man he believed to be a
friend – had sent them to a place where they might enjoy the evening and with any luck, have a
profitable time also. Instead, he had awoken to discover himself in a great deal of pain and difficulty.
For some time, he had believed that it was entirely his fault, only to realize that he was not the only
gentleman who had been so injured. No one else had been bodily harmed at all, however, but they had
all lost a great deal of money. Part of him still wanted to believe that the fault was his own, and had
not Lord Foster and Lord Wiltsham not only regained their fortunes, but encouraged him to linger in
the hope of doing the same, then no doubt Gideon would have been back at his estate, facing a dark
and rather desperate future.
Although whether or not I am able to achieve the same as both Lord Wiltsham and Lord Foster
remains to be seen.
Grimacing, Gideon glanced out of the window, just as the cab came to a stop. Taking a breath,
Gideon climbed out, paying the jarvey and then turning all around, taking in the dank and dirty streets.
The day was brighter than when he had first arrived here with his friends and Lord Gillespie a few
weeks ago, but there was no mistaking that this was exactly where he had gone that fateful evening.
Even the stale, musty smell was the same.
There were only a few people about, and none of them looked in his direction. Everyone seemed
to have a place to go, keeping their heads low as they moved along the streets. A few small children
ran up and down, with the occasional burst of laughter seeming to scrape against the darkness of the
grubby streets.
I remember this place.
Gideon had very little idea of what he was meant to do next, however, thinking that perhaps this
had been a rather bad idea, given that he had not given any time to form any sort of plan for what he
would do once he arrived. Clearing his throat, he wandered forward, looking from left to right as he
tried to find the particular gambling house he had stepped into that night. The more he considered, the
more his memory of that night grew all the more confused, as if his mind wished him to forget
entirely. Closing his eyes, he let out a long breath, pinching just above his nose, his mind suddenly
filled with nothing but darkness and shadows. Calming his thoughts, he took in a breath, and then
another. Surely something around here had to be of relevance to him! Surely something would bring
part of that evening to mind?
A sudden scent caught his nostrils and he breathed deeply, his eyes opening at once as he
recognized that strange hint of cinnamon and cedar. Something in him said that he remembered it,
thinking it so odd against the smell of the streets. Turning his head left to right, he looked around him
as he meandered around a corner – and then came across one open door.
It was painted red, with the large brick building reaching up towards the sky.
Yes, I remember this.
The memories came back to him thick and fast, but he shook his head, pushing the chill which
came with them directly from his skin. Climbing the three stone steps, he pressed one hand to the red
door, looking at it with narrowed eyes. The scent was coming from inside, and he followed it
instinctively, his heart thudding.
Once within, it took a moment for his eyes to adjust, for it was a rather dull and dark place, with
very few windows letting in only a little light.
“We are not open until a little later, Sir.”
A man that Gideon had not seen until now stepped out of the shadows, a dirty cloth over his
shoulder and his hands pressed into his pockets. Assuming that he was proprietor, Gideon moved
forward.
“Forgive me for coming into your establishment when it is not yet prepared, but I must ask you
something.”
The man narrowed his eyes. He was tall, without a single hair on his head but a large, bristling
beard that stuck out from his chin in all directions. His small, dark eyes were fixed on Gideon, and
there was not even a small smile on his lips.
“I do believe I have made myself quite clear, Sir.”
“Certainly you have, but I wonder if I might trouble you regardless.” Gideon spread both hands,
trying to keep his tone jovial. “I was here in this establishment a few weeks ago and sustained an
injury which has been troubling me ever since. If there was anything that you could tell me which
would shed light on what took place then–”
“I can offer you nothing,” the man interrupted, his thick eyebrows casting shadows into his eyes as
he gestured towards the door. “Please take your leave. As I have told you, we are not open until later.
If you would like to come back then, I could think about answering your questions – for a price, of
course.”
Gideon grimaced, for he had no interest in returning to this place, particularly not in the evening.
“I could easily recompense you for your time now?”
Easily was not the correct word to use, but for the moment it was all that Gideon had to offer. The
man’s eyes flickered, but he shook his head.
“You gentlemen are all the same. You come into my establishment expecting to get whatever it is
you wish from me without complaint. When I say I will not do as you wish, you go on to threaten me
in some way. Is that what you think to do now? Do you expect to stand here and tell me that if I do not
do as you ask, then you will injure me or injure my wife or my son or my daughter? Or tell me that
you will burn down my place here, just like one of you has threatened before?”
Gideon shook his head slowly.
“Certainly not. I have no intention of doing any such thing. I wanted only a little conversation.”
“Pity it is that I am not about to believe you, then,” the man scoffed, putting out one hand and
shoving Gideon back towards the door. “If you are so truly honest, then I’ll expect to see you this
evening. Oh, and bring some coin with you.”
There was nothing for Gideon to do but turn around and make his way from the gambling house.
He had not even learned the fellow’s name, but what the man had said had been rather intriguing. That
certainly had been the place he had been in on that dreadful night. The smell, the red door… none of
that would have come back to him otherwise.
But just who has threatened him?
He did not think that it would be any of his friends - he knew that none of them could be so cruel.
Besides which, some of them were still at their estates and had been so since they had discovered
their poverty - which meant that someone else involved in these wicked schemes had threatened this
man. Perhaps they had taken for granted that a poorer establishment such as this would be all the more
willing to allow various, and occasionally dangerous, interests and activities to take place within.
Perhaps the proprietor had set them right about such expectations, only to then be threatened by
whoever it was that had come with them in the first place, to the point that he’d had no choice but to
accept.
“I shall certainly return this evening,” Gideon murmured to himself as he stepped outside. No
longer unsettled, he lifted his chin and walked at a brisk pace, making his way back down the steps
and around the corner.
A sudden yelp took him by surprise as he walked directly into somebody. He fell backward as he
lifted his hands in a sincere apology, only for them to fall to his side as his mouth dropped open.
For there stood none other than Lady Sara.
 CHAPTER FIVE

T here was nothing for her to say, no excuses she could give as to why she was now
standing in the very place that Lord Stoneleigh had gone to. The shock flared in his
eyes, like lightning bolts shattering through their darkness. For some moments they did
nothing but stare at each other, and even when he said her name, she could not find her voice to reply.
“Whatever are you doing here?”
Still, she could say nothing. What could be her excuse? She had seen him marching through town,
ignoring everyone in sight, and then he had been unresponsive when she had called his name. Her
curiosity had overwhelmed her and driven her to follow him, hurrying her maid back into the carriage
and urging the driver to go after the cab which Lord Stoneleigh had hailed. In hindsight, she had acted
in a very foolish manner, for she certainly ought not to be here. She ought not to have allowed her
inquisitiveness to get the better of her, but she had done so, and now here she was, without any sort of
excuse for her to give the gentleman she had followed.
“Lady Sara.” Lord Stoneleigh’s voice was darker now. “What is it that you are doing here?”
A stammering stutter came from her lips, her words broken by embarrassment and shame.
“I… I saw you in town. I called out to you, but you did not answer.”
His eyes flared.
“Called to me? Here? You were in this part of London already?”
She shook her head.
“No, Lord Stoneleigh. I was on my way to purchase another ribbon and….”
She fell silent mid-explanation when she saw the shock which washed across his expression. His
eyes went wider still, and he folded his arms across his chest, before shaking his head in evident
disbelief.
“Do you mean to say that you followed me, Lady Sara?” Swallowing hard, she nodded, unable to
keep his gaze. The shame of it had almost overwhelmed her, the horror in his expression more than
she could bear. Dropping her head as a shiver ran over her skin, she let out a slow breath. “Of all the
foolish things to have done!” Lord Stoneleigh hissed, coming closer to her. “Lady Sara, you were-”
“Foolish? Yes, I am well aware of that. But I have felt such a strangeness between us that I could
not help but come after you in the hope that you would–” Breaking off, she squeezed her eyes closed.
It was time to be entirely truthful. “I could make my excuses, Lord Stoneleigh, but none of them would
be adequate. The truth is that I have found myself more than a little intrigued by you – I do not know
why – but that interest has caused me to act in a most ridiculous manner on more than one occasion. I
stand here before you, embarrassed by my previous shortcomings, fully aware that it seems now that I
have decided to add to them.”
 Lord Stoneleigh scowled, closing his eyes for a moment, and blowing out a breath from his
nostrils.
“Indeed you have. I must return you to your father’s house at once. This will not do! You cannot be
seen here alone - do you not know how much you could be taken advantage of here? Lady Sara, this is
not a place for respectable young ladies, particularly when they have no chaperone.”
This last sentence was said with such a pointed look that Sara flushed with embarrassment, and
red darkened furiously across her cheeks.
“I did not intend to be discovered.”
Even that response sounded weak, and seeing the way that his eyebrows shot towards his hairline,
she quickly realized that she had made a further misstep by speaking so.
“Then you did not come to only follow me but to spy on me.”
She shook her head.
“That is not the word I would choose to use, Lord Stoneleigh, but…” Her excuse faded away as
his eyebrows knitted together. “I suppose I could understand why you should think so.”
Lord Stoneleigh threw up his hands.
“That is because it is precisely what you have done! Why am I of such interest to you? Why do I
engage your curiosity in such a way that you would follow me here?” His hands fell to his sides, and
his lips twisted, as he looked at her with obvious confusion written into every gentle line of his face.
“My life is dull, Lady Sara. I am known to be quiet, to keep very little company, and to even
withdraw from society a little. What possible interest could I be to you?”
Sara found that she could not give him any particular answer. Try as she might, she could not find
a single, comprehensible reason within her own heart and mind to explain what she was doing. For
whatever reason, Lord Stoneleigh had suddenly caught her interest, to the point that she had thrown
aside all sense and come after him. To say that she had been frustrated with his lack of awareness of
her would sound utterly ridiculous.
“Lady Sara.”
That firm tone made her realize that Lord Stoneleigh was not willing to let her refuse to answer.
One shoulder shrugged.
“My mother has always told me that I am much too inquisitive,” she replied feebly, looking down
at the ground. “I have embarrassed myself in front of you, repeatedly, since our meeting, first
behaving as a poor dance partner, then speaking of you to my friend and asking questions which I
ought not to have even considered – and then last evening, in the hope that we might dance together
again, I grasped your arm in the ballroom and mortified myself all the more. I have been so eager to
make amends – and perhaps in the hope that you will not think badly of me - that my mind has been
filled with that single determination, to the point that I have been unable to help myself.”
Lord Stoneleigh considered for a moment but when he spoke, his voice was a little quieter.
“You admit, then, that your furious desire to find answers to questions that you have no need to ask
is what has placed you in this difficult position, Lady Sara?” Dropping her head, Sara nodded,
coupling her fingers together. There was every truth in Lord Stoneleigh’s words. There was nothing
she could say to disagree. “I must return you home. Where is your carriage?”
Much to her surprise, his hand touched her arm and when she lifted her head, he was looking
directly at her. Something warm began to pool in the depths of her stomach. It was such a strange
sensation that it took her some moments to respond to his question, with his hand on her arm
heightening those unusual sensations that she had never before experienced.
“Pray, do not tell me you have forgotten where your carriage is, Lady Sara? Else we shall have
ourselves an even greater difficulty!”
For whatever reason, something had shifted in Lord Stoneleigh’s manner, for a slight quirk tipped
at his lips, which in return allowed her a small smile in response.
“No, I have not forgotten.” Turning, she gestured back along the street. “It is there, Lord
Stoneleigh, just at the corner. My maid stands nearby also, as you can see.”
Wincing at the sight of the poor girl who was standing right beside the wall, tucking herself into it
as if she wished to hide herself away, Sara’s smile shattered. Perhaps the maid had a better
understanding of the dangers that this area presented than Sara did herself.
“Come. With your maid with you, I hope that you will not be disagreeable with the idea of my
accompanying you.”
“No, certainly not.” His hand fell from her arm, and a light shiver ran over her skin, although she
could not explain the reason for it. “I am more than grateful for your consideration of me in these
present circumstances.”
“Of course. I am a gentleman, and would not leave you here alone, Lady Sara.” A quick smile
brushed across his mouth, but it faded almost immediately as he turned back towards her carriage.
“You must never return here. I did not bring a carriage with me. I took a cab, knowing that it would be
best to remain as discreet as possible. Many things could have happened to you. Please do not
underestimate the severity of the situation.”
It was as if a dark shadow loomed over her, and Sara swallowed, nodding as she did so. The
carriage was where she had left it, the driver muttering something under his breath as one of the
horses pawed the ground nervously. He had said something to her about this being a rather dangerous
place for a young lady, but she had paid him no heed. Now, Sara realized, she would have been better
to do so.
“As quickly as you can, Lady Sara.” A gentle hand encouraged her into the carriage before Lord
Stoneleigh climbed inside after her, rapidly followed by the relieved looking maid. Closing the door,
he rapped sharply on the roof, but the horses were already in motion, pushing forward along the road
and back towards the safety of her father’s house. “I must have your word, Lady Sara.”
She looked at him uncomprehendingly.
Reaching out, he grasped her hand tightly, his thumb running back and forward over her knuckles.
His eyes were locked upon hers, an unrelenting darkness in his deep brown gaze.
“You must give me your word that you will never come back to this place alone again.”
The gentle touch of his hand on hers was pulling any coherent thoughts from her mind. She nodded
clumsily, her head feeling overly heavy. The moment she did so, however, his hand lifted from her,
and he nodded in return.
“Good.” Heat burned in her face. He must think me the most ridiculous creature. “I think you are
quite extraordinary.”
Sara blinked in surprise, looking back at him in confusion and wondering if he had somehow been
able to read the thoughts in her mind.
“That could be taken either as a compliment or a criticism, Lord Stoneleigh. Which do you mean
it to be?”
Trying to keep her voice light, Sara struggled with the latter thought, anxious that he would tell her
that it was a good deal more a reproach than praise, even though she was fully aware that she
deserved a reprimand, given how she had behaved.
Lord Stoneleigh’s lips lifted, and warmth came into his eyes, lightening them a little.
“I have not yet decided,” he told her, making her laugh despite her inner turmoil. “Why you should
have any significant thought about me is something I cannot comprehend. I am not of interest to anyone
usually. Perhaps that is why I think it extraordinary.”
“That I am sure, cannot be true.”
Thinking that perhaps a gentle compliment in return might soften his opinion of her a little more,
she tried to smile.
Lord Stoneleigh chuckled and looked away.
“I am a very dull gentleman, unfortunately. I am not worth your curiosity nor your time, Lady Sara,
I can assure you of that.” She opened her mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Believe me. I can
say nothing which would garner your interest even more. In fact, I am certain that you will be quite
disappointed.”
Sara tilted her head, studying him. His eyes no longer met hers and, as she watched, he turned his
head away from her entirely. Her suspicions suggested that no matter what it was he told her, he
would not be speaking the truth. His desire was to push her far away, so that she would not find
herself in such a position as this again. That meant that she could not be entirely assured that he would
tell her the truth. In fact, it suggested that he would do precisely the opposite.
“Tell me what it is you wish to ask me, and I shall prove it to you. Given your furrowed brow, I
am not entirely certain that you believe me.”
She nodded slowly, keeping her gaze fixed on him even though he was still refusing to meet her
eyes.
“Shall I ask you why you are in this particular part of London, or are such matters much too
personal? If they are, then might I be permitted to ask you something else?”
One eyebrow lifted gently.
“I am afraid I cannot tell you about my reasons for being in the East End of London, no.”
Considering this, Sara nodded slowly.
“Well then, what else shall I ask you?”
Lord Stoneleigh chuckled, finally meeting her gaze.
“I thought you had a good many questions, Lady Sara. Why now do you struggle to find even
one?”
Embarrassment colored her face.
“Yes, I am aware that you overheard my conversation with my friend in the book shop. I am also
aware that I paid you very little attention when we danced which, perhaps, was the beginning of my
interest for I could not remember whether or not you had spoken to me about the injury to your arm.”
A slight frown touched Lord Stoneleigh’s brow, chasing his smile away.
“Yes, I did speak to you about my arm. Begging your forgiveness if I grasped your hand a little
awkwardly as a result of my injury,” he replied. “Although evidently it made very little difference to
you since you did not even notice my words.”
“You are willing to speak of your injury, then? Might I ask how it came to be?”
Something flickered across his expression, but it was gone before she had time to understand it.
“And this is where I must disappoint you, Lady Sara,” came his easy reply. “There is no great
story.”
She curled her lip.
“There is always a story, Lord Stoneleigh.”
He sat back in his seat, no longer looking at her, but giving his attention to the window as he
folded his arms.
“I will concur, but this is, at least, a very dull story. I mentioned it to yourself and your friend
because I was worried that my dancing would be impaired, not because I wished to give any
particular details. However, since I have said that I shall answer you, I will tell you.” A breath caught
in the pit of her stomach as he turned back to her and leaned a little further forward in his seat. “I
injured my arm when I fell awkwardly. It has taken a long time to recover, and the surgeon tells me
that it will take many months before it is again as it once was.”
Sara’s shoulders slumped. Could it be true?
Lord Stoneleigh chuckled, looking at her, aware of her disappointment.
“I did warn you that there was very little to understand.”
“You fell,” she repeated as Lord Stoneleigh nodded. “That is all that occurred.”
“Yes, that is all,” he confirmed, as the carriage finally drew up outside her father’s house. “And
this is where I shall take my leave.”
There was no time for any further conversation and Sara was forced to silence any further
questions. Lord Stoneleigh grasped her hand as he helped her hand down before bowing over it – and
she knew that the conversation was at an end.
“You must hold to your promise, Lady Sara.”
Releasing her, he tipped his head in question.
Giving him a quick smile, she nodded and, either on instinct or from desire, reached to grasp his
hand once more.
“Thank you for what you did. I am aware that I may have angered you, but I am grateful for all that
you have done for me.”
Lord Stoneleigh returned the pressure, then stepped back.
“But of course. I only hope that such a thing will never happen again, and I hope that your interest
in me has waned a good deal?”
She smiled, her heart beating a little more quickly as the lie came easily to her lips.
“Of course, Lord Stoneleigh. I am certain that I shall have no further questions for you.”
He chuckled, as though in the depths of his heart he knew he could not believe her words.
“I suppose we shall see in time, Lady Sara, shall we not? And I shall hold back my judgment until
then.”
 CHAPTER SIX

H aving eschewed the idea of spending the evening at Lord Franklin’s soiree, Gideon
found himself traveling back to the same place he had visited earlier that afternoon.
At least this time it will be without Lady Sara.
A slight smile cut his mouth as he hailed a cab and climbed in, giving the address to the driver.
Sitting back quietly, he drew in a long breath as a swell of unease ran through him.
He had received a rather unfriendly welcome that afternoon, at a time when the proprietor had
been unwilling to receive visitors. Had that been because he had recognized Gideon? Or simply
because it was not the time for him to open his premises? Perhaps he would treat everyone who
arrived early in much the same way.
Or mayhap it was because I was a little too well dressed.
Smoothing down his shirt, he shook his head and dropped his hand back to his lap. This evening,
he had worn his older breeches, a shirt, and a plain jacket. His cravat was entirely absent, and he had
not taken great pains to ensure that everything was just as it ought to be. He had tidied his hair but had
not made certain that every single hair was in place as he normally would have done. It would be best
this evening for him not to appear to be a gentleman of the upper echelons of society. There was no
way for him to make certain that other gentlemen of the ton would, or would not, be present, and
therefore, he had decided to make less of his appearance in the hope that he would not be considered
someone out of the ordinary visiting this particular place.
The sight of the red door greeted him as the cab pulled to a stop. Even though it was not yet
completely dark, there was a sense of foreboding that seemed to swirl into the gloom. He had not felt
this when he had arrived the first time but, then again, that had been on Lord Gillespie’s instruction,
back when he had trusted the man as his friend. Now he knew that Lord Gillespie had led them
straight into the mouth of the lion, knowing precisely what would happen. It was an involvement that
had, in the end, cost Lord Gillespie his life.
Scowling, Gideon tightened his jaw furiously. He had been battling with all that his friend had
done to him, as well as to the other gentlemen also, but there had been no opportunity to discuss it
with Lord Gillespie since he had lost his life due to his part in the scheme and the wickedness of the
man who controlled it. How dearly Gideon would have liked to have been able to do so, to demand
to know whether or not Lord Gillespie’s hand had been forced, or if he had betrayed Gideon out of
choice.
“Shall I wait here, milord?”
“No.”
Climbing out, Gideon paid the driver, then stepped back and watched as the cab pulled away. He
was now entirely alone. Neither his acquaintances nor his friends knew where he was, but he had
deliberately chosen to behave that way. He could not have anyone come and join him. It would be
difficult enough to keep his true identity hidden when he was attending alone. How much more so if
there had been three of them?
A line of sweat ran down his back, but Gideon took a steadying breath and pushed away the
lingering unease, before turning around to face the red door. This was the gambling house he had
entered with such excitement, with Lord Gillespie and his other friends, only a few weeks ago. He
had not known then what he knew at present - that he would lose a great deal of his wealth and be left
with almost nothing of his own, as well as sustaining a serious injury. Had he had any inkling that
there were any concerns whatsoever, then he would never have strayed here in the first place.
Resisting the urge to smooth his hair back, Gideon made his way forward, about to climb the three
stone steps and push open the red door, only for two other men to barge past him. Reminding himself
that he could not expect the same behavior as he would find in a better quality gentlemen’s club,
Gideon stood back and did not say a word. Instead, he followed them, making it appear as though he
was with their party. The noise was immediate, hitting him forcefully to the point that he almost
stumbled back. Yes, there was often noise at the gambling houses that he frequented, but they were
nothing compared to this. Had he truly forgotten such a scene?
The shock had him standing almost stock still, only to realize that he would be easily seen and
noticed if he did so. Instead, he forced himself forward, making his way through the crowd until he
stood in a corner of the room, hidden away in the shadows so that he might observe everything going
on. The man he had spoken to previously, the man who had practically thrown him from the premises,
was standing at one end of the room behind the counter, with his grubby cloth still over his shoulder.
What is it I am expecting to find here this evening?
The truth was, Gideon had very little idea. After all, had he not still thought about making his way
back to his estate rather than staying in London? What was it that was keeping him here, that was
urging him forward to find out whether or not he could regain his fortune as two of his friends had
done? Was it because he had dared to allow himself to hope?
Although what there is to hope for, I cannot say.
He had very little idea of what he was going to see or hear that might be of any benefit to him
whatsoever. After all, there were a great many men here and he recognized none of them. Surely those
who had been involved in the scheme would not dare darken the door of this place again, now that
they knew that two of the men involved had been discovered – but perhaps there were those present
who would remember seeing them and what had happened that night.
“But if I ask too many questions, then I will certainly be noticed,” he muttered aloud, glancing
again at the man behind the counter.
Choosing to avoid the proprietor for the time being – for no doubt the man would notice his
change in appearance – Gideon made his way towards one of the tables. He had very little coin with
which to play, but surely joining a game would be the best way to have some discussion that might,
thereafter, throw a little light on his present circumstances.
Sitting down, he grunted at the other men, who each gave him quick glance before turning their
attention back to the table. Relief swamped him as a gentle sweat broke out on his brow. Perhaps he
would not garner a great deal of interest, just as he had hoped.
The game began. Again, it was thanks to Lord Wiltsham’s generosity that Gideon was able to play
a single round. His friend did not know that he was here this evening, and certainly had not been told
that Gideon was intending to play a game in the very place where he had lost his entire fortune, but
Another random document with
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 L I BYAN DESERT
AND
EN NEDI

Seeley Service & Co., Ltd.

Map for “Mysteries of the Libyan Desert.”
(Large-size)
 INDEX AND GLOSSARY

Ababda tribe, 25
’Abd el Atif, camel driver, 200; magician, 271
’Abd el Qadr el Jilany, founder of Qadria dervishes, 134
’Abd el Wahad, Sheykh, 64, 67, 73, 74, 243
’Abd er Rahman Musa Said, 25, 27, 34, 47, 76, 85, 86, 104, 105, 116, 117, 122,
124, 132, 147, 148, 151-156, 161-192, 196, 199, 203, 206, 217, 234, 236,
238-240
’Abd es Salem ben Mashish, founder of the Mashishia dervishes, 132
’Abdul Ati, 135
’Abdul Hamid, Sultan of Turkey, 106, 127
’Abdulla abu Reesha, 134, 136, 148-155, 164-182, 190-192, 196, 199
’Abdulla Kahal, Senussi agent in Cairo, 245
Abeh ’Abdulla, 182
Abeshr, 296-298
Abu el Hul, sphinx-like rock, 36
Abu Moharik dunes, 31, 84, 203
Abu Naim Oasis, 304
Adam, 256; Sheykh, tree of, 263
Afrit, spirit, ghost, 113, 140-143, 187-189
Agaba, el, pass, 305
Agal, Hobbles, 33
Ahmed el Biskri, the Senussi Mahdi’s double, 108, 109
Ahmed el Mawhub, Sheykh, 62-74, 106, 144, 147, 149, 242
Ahmed esh Sheriff, head sheykh of the Senussia, 239
Aid el Mahmal, festival in Kharga, 258
’Ain, a spring or well, in the oases an old—“Roman”—well
’Ain Amur, 33, 36, 202, 215, 232, 243, 246, 294, 305, 310, 311, 315
’Ain Ebsay, 229
’Ain el Agwa, 231, 246, 304
’Ain el Baytha, 296
’Ain el Belad, 229
’Ain el Hagar, 326
’Ain el Jemala, 37
’Ain el Massim, 262
’Ain el Wady, 304
’Ain Embarres, 29, 137, 202, 215
’Ain Guettara, 335
’Ain Hamur, 29, 137
’Ain Khalif, 231, 246, 304
’Ain Sheykh Murzuk, 225, 230, 231, 304, 319
’Ain Um Debadib, 136, 137, 310, 312, 315, 316
Aiyub, Sultans of Turkey, 260
Albinos, 261
’Alem, a landmark, generally a pile of stones, 85-88, 96, 112, 116
Alexandria, 304
Algeria, libraries in, 19
Algerian Sahara, 18
’Ali Dinar, Sultan of Darfur, 199, 210
’Ali Kashuta, 44
Amaim tribe, 332
Antiquities, 29, 32, 37, 50, 136, 137, 206, 223, 263, 298, 299, 314-316
Ants, 286
Arabia, 299, 306
Arabic language, 22
“Arab telegraph,” 21
Araj, oasis, 302, 304
Aratha, 296
Architecture, 42, 43, 49, 65, 313, 314, 318
Ardeb, 300 lbs.
Arkenu, 321
Asara, 296, 298, 306
Asses, wild, 303
Assiut, 26, 128, 132, 196, 197, 199, 222, 243, 245, 304, 305
Astronomy, 118, 119
Aswan, 305
Atlas mountains, 301
Atrun, el, 300, 303
Auguries, 249
Aujila, 304, 306
Awazim tribe, 332
Ayb, snub, insult, 45, 221, 238

Bab es Saba. See “the Gate of the Morning”

Baghallet el Ashar, “the mule of the tenth,” 257
Baharia, 221, 229, 304, 311, 318, 319
Bahnessa, 304
Bahrein, 301, 304
Bahr el Ghazal, 301
Bahr esh Shaytan, Satan’s sea. See Mirage
Bakhshish, tips, 43
Baki, 296
Baldness, 262
Ball, Dr, John, 310, 312, 315
Barbary sheep, 303
Barr, dried manure used as fuel, 123
Barrenness in women, charms, etc., against, 262
Barrum Wady. See Bahr el Ghazal
Barth, H., 335
Basket work, 32
Bates, Oric, 334
Battikh, a form of sand erosion, 28, 202, 308
Bau, 296
Beadnell, H. Ll., 307
Bedadi, 296, 298
Bedawi, pl. Bedawin, a nomad
Bedayat race, 116, 131, 134, 199, 207, 210, 220, 221, 263, 295, 296, 299, 302,
303
Bees, 283
Bekker el Wahash, 303
Belad esh Shaytan, Satan’s country, 47
Belat, 37, 151, 294, 303, 317; ’omda of, 37, 138, 139
Benghazi, 306
Beni Adi, 304, 305
Berberines, 22
Berdis, 24, 25
Beris, 305, 313
Bersim, clover, 47
Bey, a military title
Bidau, 296-298
Bilharsia, 144
Bir, a well; in the oases a modern one
Bir ’Abd el Qadr, 222
Bir ’Ain Sheykh Mufta, 328
Bir Dikker, 304
Bir el Hamia, 57
Bir el Jebel, 60
Bir Kairowin, 222, 224
Bir Labayat, 227, 304
Bir Magnun, 51
Bir Mansura ’Abdulla, 341
Bir Murr, 222
Bir Natrun, 134, 305, 321
Bir Sheykh Mohammed, 60
Bir Terfawi, 305, 321
Bird-trap, 267, 268
Birth ceremonies, 249
Bisharin, 332
Biskra, 108, 302
Blind gardener in Mut, 139, 140
Boema, 298
“Books of treasure,” 52-56, 58, 145, 203-207, 212, 214
Borku, 299, 300, 335
Borselain, a plant, 261
“Bristle tails,” 283
Bronchitis, 261
Brugsch, H. K., 315
Bu el Agul, grave, 128
Bu Gerara, 201, 203-215, 219, 246
Bu Mungar, 97, 230-236, 244, 246, 287, 299, 304, 307, 309
Bu Senata, 298
Bu Zibad, 298
Budkhulu, 56, 317
Buhuruz, 297
Bulaq, 32, 313
Burnus, a native cloak, 93
Busa, dried stalks of maize, etc.
Buseima, 301
Bushara, 296, 298-300, 306
Butterflies, 283

Cairo, 21-23
Cambyses, King, mines of, 53; army sent to Siwa, 220
Camel brands. See wasm
Camel corps, 135
Camel drivers, 25, 34
Camel firing a, 92
Camel fly, 24
Camels, 35, 36, 94, 136, 137
„ watering of, 116-118, 124
Cana, F. R., 293
Cartouche writing, 334
Castles, 314, 315
Chad, Lake, 301
Chalk, 222, 224
Chanties of camel drivers, 268, 269
Charms, 251, 252
Churning, 265
Circumcision, 251, 253, 256
Clairvoyance, 271-279
Clay ridges, 31, 308, 309
Coins dug up, 206, 211, 214
Col de Zenaga, 334
Cooking of the bedawin, 206, 207
Coptic remains, 37, 314. See also Antiquities
Copts, 257, 270, 314
Cotton moth, 283
Cradles, 260
Cranes, 288
Crocodiles, 301; drawings of, 335
Crossbow, 268
Cryptograms of the Tawarek, 335
Cultivation and vegetation, 41, 48, 49, 51, 56, 75, 228, 229, 230, 241, 243, 247,
264, 294, 303, 309-313, 316, 318
Cupping, 152
Customs. See Manners and Customs
Cyrenaica, 293
Cyrus the Great, 54

Dahab, Suleyman Gindi, 22, 34, 110, 132, 142, 143, 162-167, 192, 199, 217,
234, 238, 239, 244
Dakhakhin, 313
Dakhla, 18, 32, 36-81, 90, 91, 128, 130, 138-159, 202, 203, 225, 227, 229, 231,
235, 246, 248-265, 280-284, 288, 294, 300, 303-305, 310, 311, 316-319,
320, 321
Dancing, 193, 254
Darfur, 305; ’Ali Dinar, Sultan of, 199, 210
Darius I, King of Persia, 315
Darius II, King of Persia, 315
Dawa, magical invocation, 272-279
Deafness, 261
Dendura, 199, 200, 299, 300, 304
Dengue fever, 144
Depots, 158, 159, 164, 173-175, 180
Der, a large building or monastery
Der ed, 314, 315
Der Abu Madi, 50, 53, 55
Der el ’Ain, 53
Der el Arais, 145
Der el Banat, 53, 55
Der el Hagar, 58, 78
Der el Seba’a Banat, 53, 55, 101
Der Muhurug, 202
Derb, road
„ el Arbain, 297, 305
„ ed Deri, 202
„ el Gubary, 128, 243, 284, 305, 336-346
„ el Khashabi, 203, 305
„ et Tawil, 128, 201-205, 212, 305, 307
„ et Terfawi, 294, 305
Derr, 305
Dervishes, 19-21, 25, 133, 134, 182
“Desert Mosque,” 233
Desiccation of the desert, 212
Dhayat en Neml, 294
Divorce, 251
Dongola, 298
Dorcas gazelle, 282
Dovecots, 315
Dragon flies, 284
Dress of bride, 252
Drunkenness, 45, 46
Duck, 284
Dumbness, 261
Dunes. See Sand
Dungun, 305
Dush, 313, 314
Duveyrier, H., 335

Eagles, 284, 288

Earthenware, 253
Edfu, 54
Educated Egyptians, 144-146
“Egyptian Oasis,” 300, 304, 320, 321
Eiffel Tower time signals, 297
Electrical phenomena, 93, 94, 307
Emphysema, 261
Endi, 210
Enver Pasha, 105
Epilepsy, 261
Equipment, 33, 34, 206
Erbayana, 299, 301, 302
Erosion. See Sand
Ershay lake, 300-302
Ertha, 296, 299
Erwully, 296, 299, 300
Esna, 53, 54, 213, 305
Eve, 256
Evil eye, 250
Ezba, hamlet, farm, of Sheykh Ahmed, 60, 64-74
Ezbet Sheykh Mufta, 145

Fahal, eight-year-old camel, 35

Families, size of, in oases, 262
Fantasia, “powder play,” 253, 259
Farafaroni, natives of Farafra Oasis, 225
Farafra, 199, 200, 207, 218-231, 246, 266, 288, 294, 304, 307, 310, 311, 318
Farshut, 305
Faruwia, 297
Fas, a hoe, 264
Fasher, el, 296-298
Fatha, el, the first chapter of the Koran, 252
Fatimite dynasty, 259
Fauna, 24, 32, 36, 79, 88, 97, 247, 280-292, 301, 303, 318
Fayum, 301, 304
“Feathered” snake, 286
Fellah, pl. fellahin, an Egyptian peasant
Ferikh, pop-corn, 69
Fever, 30
Figuig Oasis, 334
Fiki, a minor holy man, 254, 255, 259
Fire making, 122, 124, 228
Flags, used in ceremonies, 253, 254, 259
Flatters, Col., expedition of, 162
Flies, 283, 287, 288
Flora, 28, 32, 49, 96-98, 111, 222, 223, 228, 229, 232, 233, 247, 258, 280, 282,
291, 292, 294, 318
Fly, camel, 318
Flying lizard. See issulla
Fodder, difficulty in procuring, 138, 139, 151, 155-157
Fog in desert, 310
Forbes, Mrs. Rosita, 306
Formah, 297
Fox, spotted, seen, 281, 288
Funerals, 254-256
Funfun, well, 296, 298
Furwa, sheepskin, 33

Gada, sportsman
Gahaz, things brought by a bride to her new home, 253
Gara, a rocky hill
Gara bu Gerara, 203-205
Gara esh Shorfa, 334
Garden of Eden, 214, 256
Gardener, blind man in Mut, 139, 140
Garet, dim. of gara
Garet ed Dahab, 205
Garet el Leben, 302
Gassi, a sand free path through dunes, 304
“Gate of the Morning,” 96, 118
Gazelle, 37, 215, 223, 282, 288; trap for, 266, 267
Gedida, 75, 145, 304, 317, 318
Gennah, 313
Geology, 28, 33, 83, 84, 88, 90, 112, 115, 216, 220, 294
Gerara, 330
Geryville, 334, 335
Ghul, a cannibal ghost, 140-143
Girga, 305
Girgof, el, 294
Giza, 304
Glass, dug up, 206, 214
Gorgi Michael, 43
Gorn el Gennah, 315
Graffiti, 247, 326-336
Gramophones, 70
Grasshoppers, 283
Graves, pattern of, 255
“Great oasis,” 310
Grey hair, 262
Gritstone hill, 83
Gubary road. See Derb el Gubary
Guebar Rashim, 334
Guehda. See Qasr el Guehda
Guest chambers, 49, 61, 65
Guides, 25, 26, 134; skill of, 105, 112
Gula, earthenware water bottle, 66
Gurba, skin water bag, 97, 132
Gurba patches, 97
Gurban, an old gold coin, 56
Guru, 301
Guss abu Said, 227, 231, 304
Guttara well, 296, 300

Haggi, a man who has made the pilgrimage to Mecca

Hair, ceremony on first cutting a child’s, 250
Hair dressing, 253
Hamamla tribe, 330
Harb tribe, 330
Harda, 335
Harubga, a game, 335
Hashish, Indian hemp, 135, 137, 261
Hassanein Bey, 298, 306, 319-321
Hassun tribe, 330
Hattia, uninhabited oasis
Hawerti tribe, 332
Heg, a three-year-old camel, 35
Heraldry among Arabs, 330
Hibis temple, 29, 315; town, 314
High level oasis, 316, 319
Hills in desert, shapes of, 88, 90, 111, 115, 309
Hindau, 41, 154, 238, 317
Horses, 48, 50
Hoskins, 315
Hospitality, 38, 39, 50, 66-74, 136, 193
Hram, a plaid-like garment worn in Tripoli, 41
Hurj, saddle-bags, 33
Hurry tribe and lake, 302
Hussein, grandson of the prophet Mohammed, 256
Hyena, 281

Ibn ed Dris, Sheykh of Farafra zawia, 228, 229, 234

Ibn esh Sha’ar, one-year-old camel, 35
Ibn es Sena, one-year-old camel, 35
Ibn Lebun, two-year-old camel, 35
Ibrahim Musa Said, camel driver, 132-135, 140-143, 148, 151-155, 163, 180-
182, 199-201, 216, 221, 234
Ibrahim, Sheykh of the zawia at Qasr Dakhl, 61, 62
Ibrahim Zaky, mamur of Mut, 43-46
Iddaila, 97, 199, 207, 227, 231, 234, 246, 302, 304, 309
Immorality, 143, 251, 260
Insects, list of, 322
Interference between artesian wells, 244
Invasion of Egypt by the Senussia, 106, 127
Iron pyrites, 224
Irrigation. See Cultivation
“Islands of the Blest,” 311
Issulla, a flying lizard, probably mythical, 285, 286
Italians in Tripoli, 135, 198

Jackals, 280-282, 288

Jaghabub, 301, 304
Jaja, 313
Jaj Mohammed, el, 335
Jalo, 60, 301, 304, 306
Jebel, lit. mountain, in Egypt the desert, 28, 319
„ Abdulla, 115, 151, 153, 154, 158, 159, 173, 177, 300, 303
„ Dakar, 302
 „ Edmondstone, 236
„ el Bayed, 112-118, 148, 149, 151, 153, 154, 158-160, 164, 169, 174-
176, 178, 179
„ el Ghazallet, 302
„ el Owanat, 319
„ Ghennihma, 312, 315
„ Gunna el Bahari, 227
„ Hashem el Gud, 302
„ Jabail, 202
„ Kusu, 301
„ Maydob, 298
„ Somara, 302
„ Ta’aref, 312
„ Tarfaia, 302
„ Ter, 312
„ Um el Ghenneiem, 312
Jebsia tribe, 330
Jedabya, 306
Jedda, five-year-old camel, 35
Jemel, full-grown male camel, 35
Johnson, E. A. Pasha, 52-54, 212

Kafir, infidel
Kairowin hattia, 220, 222, 233, 304, 311
Kantar, 100 Egyptian pounds, 47
Karbala, battle of, 256
Kas, cymbals, 252
Katb el kitab, part of a marriage ceremony, 252
Kebabish tribe, 298
Kebabo, 299
Kerkadi, Sudanese tea, 70
Kerzazia dervishes, 20
Khalif of Islam, 106
Khalifa Zenata, 259
Khalil Salah Gaber, interpreter, 22, 34, 96, 101, 102, 124-126
Khamasin, fifty days of spring, 257
Khan, a native inn, in Assiut, 132
Khana tribe, 330
Kharafish, a form of sand erosion, 28, 87, 202, 308
Kharashef, a form of sand erosion, 28, 202, 308
Kharga, 23, 28-32, 90, 129, 132, 157, 202, 215, 225, 227, 243, 244, 246, 248,
258-260, 265, 283, 284, 288, 293, 297, 305, 308-319, 326
Khatim, lit. seal, diagram used in magic, 273, 274
Khatma, a religious ceremony, 254
Khobayza, a plant, 282
Kimri, palm doves, 57, 284, 285; experiment with, 90, 91, 321
Kites, 284
Kowora, 298, 302
Kufara, 18, 52, 60, 71, 77, 82, 83, 98, 109, 131, 147, 149, 199, 234, 293, 296,
298, 299, 301-306, 319
Kuffara, 296
Kurkur Oasis, 305
Kysis, town of, 314; temple of, 315

Lace wing flies, 287

Lagia, el, 303, 305, 321
Lahd, recess in a grave for the body to lie in, 255
“Lake of the mud tortoises” of Miani, 303
Lame camels, 88, 89, 92
Lane’s “Modern Egyptians,” 253-278
Leaking water tanks, 153, 155, 161-164, 182
Lefa’a, horned viper, 286
Left hand unclean among Moslems, 278
Legends, 53-58, 63, 75, 78, 221
“Letters” written by illiterate bedawin, 180, 235
Leylet el Wahada, night of solitude, 254
Leylet el Wahsha, night of desolation, 254
Libyan desert boundaries, 17
Ligatured monograms of the Tawarek, 335
Light phenomena, 307
Litham, mask worn by the Tibbus and Tawarek, 277
Lizards, 285, 288
Locusts, 283
Looms, 314
Lughad, 296
Luxor, 146, 305

Mabsat, pleased
Madania dervishes, 133
Made roads, 205
Maghagha, 304
Maghrib, west, evening prayer, 67
Magic. See Superstitions and magicians
Magicians, 146, 154, 194, 212, 217, 271
Mahdi, of Khartum, 107; of the Senussia, 106-109; a veiled prophet, 108
Mahmal of Cairo, 259; of Kharga, 258-260
Mahmed ben Abd er Rahman Bu Zian, founder of the Ziania dervishes, 182
Mahr, dowry, 252
Maimun, the afrit, 274-279
“Making the peace,” 46, 194, 242
Maks Bahari, 313
Maks Gibli, 313
Malaria, 30, 261
Malif tribe, 330
Mamur, a native magistrate, 183-191, 193-196
Mandal, a magical performance, 272-279
Manfalut, 199, 202
Mange, 76, 79
Manners and customs, 34, 39, 46, 47, 50, 67, 152, 193, 206, 207, 232, 247,
251-254, 256, 259, 260, 265, 268, 269
Mansur, camel driver, 200
Mantids, 286, 287
“Map”-making by bedawin, 208
Marble, 202
Marhaka, two stones for crushing grain, 97
Marmarica, 334
Marriage ceremonies, 251-254
Marsa Matru, 335
Masara, 41, 145, 317
Mashishia dervishes, 133
Mastaba, platform, bench, or tomb, 53, 56
Mecca, 108
Medicine, native, 261, 262, 279, 282
Meheriq, 313
Melanism, human, 152
Menna, wife of the founder of the Senussia, 108
Merga, 300, 302, 303, 321
Merkaz, the office of a mamur
Mesopotamia, 214
Metaphors, Arabic, 201, 202
Meteors, 307
Miani, 303
Migration of birds, 36, 79, 101, 287, 288
Mill, for flour, 264, 265; for olives 265
Minia, 304
Mirage, 113, 179
“Mist,” as showing a distant valley, 95
M’khiat er Rih tribe, 221
Mohammed ben ’ali es Senussi, founder of the Senussia dervishes, 108
Mohammed el Mawhub, Sheykh of the zawia at Qasr Dakhl, 40, 60-64, 73, 74,
144, 145, 147, 149, 196, 229, 234, 240, 242, 243, 245
Mohammed et Tounsi, 335
Mohammed, Sheykh of Farafra zawia, 228
Mohammed, the Prophet, 57, 106
Mohammed V, of Turkey, 127
Mohanny, camel driver, 200
Morocco, 108
Mosquitoes, 283, 287
Moths, 283, 287
Mud tortoises, lake of, 303
Mudir, governor of a province Mukhlia, camel’s nosebag, 33
Mulid, feast on birthday of a saint, 259
Munkar, “the unknown,” a black angel, 255
Musa, camel driver, 25, 34, 92
Musbut, 297
Mushaluba, um Shaloba, 296
Mushia, 75, 317, 318
Music, effect of, on camels, 92, 270
Musical sands, 100, 220, 263
Musical stones, 98, 100
Mut, 41-48, 76, 82, 90, 91, 100, 139-159, 182-192, 194, 236-241, 244, 262,
284, 295, 305, 317

Nachtigal, Gustav, 297, 298

Nadura, temple of, 315
Naga, a full-grown female camel, 35
Nails, ceremony on first cutting a child’s, 250
Naja, cobra, 286
Nakir, “the repudiating,” a black angel, 255
Native information, collecting, 207-211, 220, 221, 295
Nazili Genub, 201
Negeb, a pass down a cliff
„ er Rumi, 216
„ Shushina, 205
„ to Bu Mungar, 232
„ to Dakhla, 36
Nesla, 227, 231, 287, 304
Nestorius, Bishop, 314
Nicknames, 128, 134
Nijem, lit. star; to know the nijem = knowledge of the desert, 170
Nile, River, 301, 302
Nimr Awad, 25, 134, 149, 150
Noah, 256
No’on lake, 303
Noon shelters, 111
Noser, hollow desert, 87

Oasis, meaning of, 310

“Oasis of the blacks,” 52
Officials, class of, in oases, 43-45
Oil, olive, 265, 318, 321
Olive mill, 265
“Olive oasis,” 91, 320, 321
Olive press, 265
’Omar Wahaby, mamur of Dakhla, 156
’Omda, village headman, for individuals see under name of village