Goin Solo A Study On Singlehood and View

ANTHROPOLOGY 225 SECOND SEMESTER AY 2017-2018
Goin’ Solo: A Study on Singlehood

and Views on ‘Sologamy’ in the
Contemporary Philippine Society
Submitted by
The Class of Anthropology 225
Second Semester AY 2017-2018
Submitted to
Prof. Chester B. Cabalza, Ph.D.
Anthropology 225 Philippine Culture and Society
University of the Philippines, Diliman
19 May 2018
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GOIN’ SOLO: A STUDY ON SINGLEHOOD AND VIEWS ON ‘SOLOGAMY’ IN THE CONTEMPORARY PHILIPPINE SOCIETY
The Class of Anthropology 225

AY 2017-2018
AUTHORS
Introduction by
Nikka Garriga & Erika Nañes
Theoretical Framework and Methodology by
Angela Cruzado & Cady Perez
Review of Related Literature by
RJ Barrete, Czarina Villamora, Anton Sandoval & Dan Valenton
Data Interpretation and Analysis by
Aya Cortez, Kristel Cuba, Joanne Mabuloc, Ed Viteno, & Mark Rusia (Initial)
Anton Sandoval, RJ Barrete, Kristel Cuba, Czarina Villamora, & Angela Cruzado (Final)
Conclusion by
Anton Sandoval
Edited by Nikka Garriga & Anton Sandoval
CLASS DOCUMENTARY
Directed by
Jaimee Bernardo
Written by
Nikka Garriga
Erika Nañes
Production Assistance by
Cady Perez
Kristel Cuba
Aya Cortez
Czarina Villamora
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ABSTRACT
This paper examines the perceptions on contemporary Filipino singlehood and on

‘sologamy’ within the context of a seemingly shifting societal norms on marriage and
building a family. Using interpretative phenomenological analysis, it seeks to determine
the socioeconomic factors that affect the lives of selected single people and the
likelihood of ‘sologamy’, defined in the study as the act of self-marriage, to appeal
among Filipinos.
Philippine research on modern-day relationships tend to focus on statistical correlation
and on traditional categories of relationships as set by Philippine law and government.
Thus, this qualitative research can help fill the gaps in the current discourse and validate
prevailing assumptions on the rise of non-marriage patterns among Filipinos. Lastly, the
paper also breaks ground in the study of modern-day ‘sologamy’. Its learnings can be
used to inform other research and improve research methods on the subject.
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ABSTRACT ................................................................................................................................... 3
Background of the Study............................................................................................................... 5
II. REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE ................................................................................. 7
Family, relationships and the role of women the United States of America ................................ 7
Family, relationships and singlehood in East and South-east Asia ............................................... 8
Family, relationships and singlehood in Philippine society........................................................... 9
Sologamy..................................................................................................................................... 11
III. THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK .........................................................................................13
IV. METHODOLOGY ...........................................................................................................14
Sampling ..................................................................................................................................... 14
Interview ..................................................................................................................................... 14
Qualitative Analysis..................................................................................................................... 15
Scope and Limitations ................................................................................................................. 15
V. DATA ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION .......................................................................17
Lifestyle choice: individuality and empowerment ...................................................................... 20
Economic status and family obligations...................................................................................... 21
Women empowerment .............................................................................................................. 22
Standards .................................................................................................................................... 23
Past Relationships ....................................................................................................................... 24
Living arrangements ................................................................................................................... 25
Social media ................................................................................................................................ 26
‘Sologamy’ will not work ............................................................................................................. 27
‘Sologamy’ might work ............................................................................................................... 30
VI. CONCLUSION ...............................................................................................................34
VII. BIBLIOGRAPHY .............................................................................................................35
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I. INTRODUCTION
Background of the Study

Worldwide, changing socio-economic pressures continue to affect how and when people
couple up and marry. In many Western countries—particularly where women and
lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual (LGBT) communities are more empowered, where
economic and educational opportunities are more easily available, and/or where living
costs are high—people stay single or unmarried for longer periods of time, have fewer or
no children, and non-traditional relationships proliferate. Even in East and Southeast
Asia, where most cultures and traditional values revolve around filial piety and family,
family arrangements have become more diverse and more people choose to stay single,
unmarried, or explore different marriage arrangements.
In the past few years, a new form of marriage has been grabbing headlines: ‘sologamy’,
or the act of marrying oneself in a public ceremony (Lytton, 2017) (Maveal, 2017) (Tali,
2017). Participants, most of whom are women, claim that the ceremony helps reaffirm
the value of the self and “celebrates escaping something awful or returning to your own
happiness and contentment” (Lytton 2017). In Japan, there is a travel agency that
organizes ‘solo wedding’ trips for busy, career-oriented women who wish to undergo the
wedding experience without the fuss, or for those women who, unsatisfied with their
past ceremonies, wish to experience a better one (BBC News, 2014) (Cerca Travel Co.
Ltd, 2018). In a few cases, publicity may have served as additional motivation (Froehly,
2017).
For Filipinos, family is generally held to be the basic unit of society and the State
maintains a very conservative definition of marriage (Government of the Republic of the
Philippines, 1987). The Philippines is also one of only two remaining countries in the
world—the other being Vatican City—where divorce has yet to be legalized.
Traditionally, people marry and have children at a relatively young age and cohabitation
without a formal wedding ceremony would be frowned upon. However, attitudes and
practices relating to marriage have changed over the years. Marriage is on the decline as
the number of newly registered marriages dropped by 20.1 percent from 2005 to 2015
(Philippine Statistics Authority, 2017). Social movements clamouring for divorce to be
legalized have met some success in recent years (Cook, 2018). At the time of writing, the
Supreme Court has announced the legality of divorce for Filipinos with foreign spouses
(Reformina, 2018) and draft laws are pending approval. Philippine mass media also
abounds with content expounding on the advantages of the single lifestyle and/or
offering support for single people, for example personal accounts appearing under the
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Twitter hashtag #singleblessed and articles found in popular websites (Gagarin, 2017).
These instances perhaps show that prolonged singlehood and non-traditional family
configurations are becoming more socially acceptable, both on a personal and a social
level.
It is against such a backdrop that this paper seeks to examine contemporary Filipino
singlehood and views on ‘sologamy’ to reveal through first-hand accounts the socio-
economic pressures that affect the lives of single people. Philippine research on modern-
day relationships tend to focus on statistical correlation and on traditional categories of
relationships as set by Philippine law and government. Hence, this qualitative research,
despite its limited scale (see Scope and Limitations), can help fill the gaps in the current
discourse and validate prevailing assumptions on the rise of non-marriage patterns
among Filipinos. Lastly, the paper also breaks ground in the study of modern-day
‘sologamy’. Its learnings can be used to inform other research and improve research
methods on the subject.
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II. REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE
Family, relationships and the role of women the United States of America
The development of family structures in the United States has been fairly well
documented, even those during colonial times. For example, Haines (1996) and Grabill,
Kiser, & Whelpton (1958) remarked on the high rates of marriage. The former also
describes the conditions that allowed for marriages to begin early in life, particularly for
women. Kessler-Harris (1982) noted that marriage was viewed as the natural and
desirable role for women, and that women had limited economic opportunities, which
helped assure that many would indeed marry. Norton (1980) further explained that
marital status, during the American Revolution, determined women’s worth; married
women were superior to single women. At the turn of the 19th century, scholarly and
other documents noted the rise in the number of women choosing to stay single for
longer and the decreased stigma on them. According to Browne (1888) and Freeman and
Klause (1984), being single began to be seen as more preferable than being unhappily
married. The latter authors also noted that more job opportunities, decreased influence
of the church and better education afforded women more options than their mothers’
generation. Tompkins (1907) spoke of women being more content in their freedom and
in their increased opportunities.
A number of scholarly works documented the continued increase in the number of single
people during more contemporary times and the difficulties faced by them, particularly
women. Stein (1975) explained that these difficulties could stem from the fact that
marriage was still viewed as an essential part of adulthood and of the normal way of life.
Moran (2004) added that adult women were particularly under pressure; those who
choose to remain single were treated either as invisible non-entities or stigmatized
outsiders. Dubler (2003) examined the legal aspects, finding that single women’s rights
derived from those granted to married women. Baumbusch (2004) surveyed some of
society’s common terms for single, especially older, women—such as “unclaimed
treasure,” “old maid,” and “spinster”—and therefore suggested more neutral terms,
including “never-married”, “unmarried,” and “unattached”. Stein (1975) noted how
movements to empower women and LGBT people helped make the single lifestyle more
acceptable. In addition, the instance of failed marriages and perceived constraints of
married life may have helped propagate more negative views of marriage.
Moran (2004), as did other authors, attributed the choice of women to remain single, or
at least to delay marriage, to the proliferation of work opportunities brought about by
increased industrialization and urbanization. Ward (1979) showed that singlehood was
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strongly associated with education, especially for women. He found that educated,
career-oriented women were more likely than men to strive to go up the social ladder
and thereby isolate themselves in society. Benjamin (1982) remarked that the more
educated and accomplished African-American women became, the fewer their choices of
mates because their achievements tend to discourage less accomplished suitors. Some of
the women responded by remaining single, while others—older, less educated, less self-
sufficient, and/or more dependent on males for their self-identity—continued to seek
marriage. Schellenberg (1991) claimed that being permanently single could be brought
about by economic dependencies. In the case of single Irish people, this pushed them to
either migrate, delay marriage, or stay single. Spreitzer and Riley (1974) found that highly
educated men were less likely to stay single, while more educated women were more
likely embrace singlehood, being reluctant to commit to less accomplished males.
Religion also played a part: religious celibates were more likely to be single than those
who were not. Berg-Cross (2004) noted that although society pressured single people,
especially women, to form families and enter parenthood, single professional women
were growing in numbers. Berg-Cross noted, as with other authors, that empowered
women had fewer choices of partners, as their standards went up, and, at the same
time, had more freedom and room for self-appreciation. This notion is echoed in the
works of Gigy (1980), which emphasized “self-assertion, determination, and
independence” as values anchoring singlehood.
This body of research establishes the widely accepted factors that affect singlehood and
acceptance of it—such as education, work opportunities, organized social movements,
and religion—and shows that these remain valid over different time periods. It also
reflects the importance of accurate census data, the evolution of social science
paradigms, notably from positivist to post-positivist, and the importance of feminist
scholarship.
Family, relationships and singlehood in East and South-east Asia

East and Southeast Asian scholarly work on singlehood and family seems to confirm
similar trends as that of American scholarship. Quah (2015), in her anthology on family
life in the region, plotted socio-economic pressures stemming, inter alia, from increased
educational and economic opportunities as eroding traditional family norms and
practices or creating new ones. Yoshida (2011) found that increased singlehood among
women in Japan could be attributed to structural constraints brought on by corporate
practices and culture. Notably, long work hours impeded opportunities for romantic
encounters and for forming relationships. Masahiro (1999) noted the rise of the ‘parasite
singles’, or adults who remain on their parents for longer than normal. Wongboosin, et
al. (2013) also showed that improvement in women’s education and income affected
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marriage patterns in Thailand prevailed as the common reason for singlehood among
never-married women. This relates to having higher standards, in which the partner had
to fit criteria relating to age, education, economic status, and other social factors.
A number of studies also confirmed the rise in the number of single people in Indonesia
and the role played by modernization, notably Himawan, et. al. (2017), Situmorang
(2007), Hull (2002), and Jones (2010). Factors included the level of education, career
opportunities, social transformation, democratization, and support for gender equality.
These economic and political transformations in turn encourage changes in attitudes
towards traditional belief and personal values (Rossel, 2012; Hamamura, 2012;
Himawan, et. al. (2017)). Nevertheless, conservative and religious-based attitudes still
contributed to the social stigmatization of single people. On a more practical note,
several authors also remarked on the effect of communications technology. The Internet
played a big role in facilitating social interaction but also in substituting for sexual
gratification and person-to-person emotional intimacy.
Jones, Yanxia, and Pei Zhi (2012) also linked economic and political transformation to the
rising trend of singlehood in Singapore. This refers more specifically to the expansion of
educational opportunities, which allowed women more financial independence from
men; increasing labour uncertainty, which discouraged single people from establishing
families; and the assertion of individuality that, for example, manifested in people
viewing marriage as a personal issue rather than a social and familial duty. The authors
noted that even among the more conservative Chinese Singaporeans, premarital sex and
co-habitation— once considered taboo—have become more acceptable.
This body of work shows how more conservative societies deal with changing family and
relationship dynamics. In relation to this study, it could shed light on trends not covered
by Philippine research.
Family, relationships and singlehood in Philippine society

Social scientists have continued to remark upon the centrality of family1 in Philippine
society. Mendez and Jocano (1974) stated that Filipinos valued blood and marriage
1
Note that the Philippines’ legal definition of family cites several requirements and description of relationships, e.g.
marriage between a male and female. (Government of the Republic of the Philippines, 1987)
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relationships above all others. Go (1993) observed that while families in the 1980s were
structurally nuclear, they were functionally extended; hierarchical authority helped keep
families together despite movements from rural to urban areas. De Jong, Davis Root,
Gardner, Fawcett, and Abad (1985-1986), in their study on migration, discussed the
phenomenon of family ties that extended outside of the country.
However, traditional views and practices are being eroded by new socio-economic
pressures and movements. Tarroja (2010) observed that there were enough family-like
arrangements which fall out of established norms and traditions to warrant a
redefinition of what constitutes a Filipino family. One catalyst would have been the mass
exodus of overseas workers which began in the 1970s. Samonte (1992), in her study of
psychological stresses experienced by overseas workers and their families, detailed some
of the ensuing repercussions: sudden wealth; new parental roles2; strained marital
relations; and changes in values/norms. Williams, Arguillas, and Arguillas (2010) showed
that gradually more Filipino men were staying single, particularly the uneducated and
the highly educated ones. For women, the incidence of non-marriage was found to be
lowest among those non-gainfully employed and among agricultural workers. Cruz and
Ramiro (2009) revealed that single, never-married women were still able to enjoy a good
quality of life—although the degree of happiness may differ between those who sought
it by choice, and those who did not.
Alcasid, et. al. (2017) attempted to describe the socio-cultural context of the Filipino
millenial generation. With limited first-hand data, the researchers concluded that Filipino
millennials, who were less conservative than their forebears and more accepting of
premarital sex, homosexual relationships, casual coupling and divorce, had less of an
issue with staying single for longer.
This body of research helps define the mainstream assumptions of how Philippine
society is changing. This helps inform and situate the findings of this study. However,
gaps are also apparent. Recent literature on millennials for example, is still largely
journalistic than academic, while topics consistently covered by the academe and
government agencies focus on more traditional family arrangements. Widely used terms,
such as single and married, hewed closely to conservative norms. For example, as
marriage is only allowed between men and women, homosexuals would almost always
be counted as single.
2
The spouse left behind taking on the additional role of the spouse who left.
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Sologamy
Scholarly work on ‘sologamy’ is scant. Public accounts of the phenomenon come mainly
from journalistic interviews, accounts of ‘sologamists’ themselves and from institutions
which offer support services.
Tali (2017) revealed some of the motivations of ‘sologamists’. According to the author,
an officiator of self-wedding ceremonies claimed that brides would recite self-affirming
messages as their wedding vows3. Lytton (2017) documented the experience of a
Canadian woman who asserted that self-marriage could be seen as an act of defiance
against social norms. Thomas (2017) and Bort (2017) each patched together a timeline of
self-marriage events. Both cited Sex and the City4 as an early platform. Some
‘sologamists’ or advocates of the practice took to social media or live performances to
describe their experiences and motivations. Gelder (2016) and McMillan (2013) both
stressed the value of loving oneself, and institutionalizing it; Jeremstar (2017), while
echoing these values, may have been partly motivated by the publicity of becoming the
first ‘sologamist’ in France.
Self-Marriage Ceremonies (2018) and Cerca Travel Co. Ltd (2018) offer self-marriage
services. The former, however, goes so far as to describe a values system and to share
more in-depth information about ‘sologamy’ to prospective clients.
Some scholarly articles covered ‘sologamy’ in passing. Berg-Cross (2004) examined the
trend of women no longer viewing marriage as a priority and cited ‘sologamy’ as a
potential alternative. Hermans (2018) looked to situate identity in a political system. He
correlated the decline of marriage with the rising incidence of ‘sologamy’.
In conclusion, the dearth of more scientific approaches towards ‘sologamy’ means that
there is no authoritative consensus as to the meaning and associated values. However,
based on the material gathered here, a reasonable working definition may be
approximated: ‘sologamy’ entails undergoing a public ceremony of marrying oneself,
usually as an institutionalization of self-love. Note that, as per most accounts, being
‘sologamous’ does not mean that one can no longer have other relationships. Many
3
“I will forgive myself”; “I will no longer call myself ugly”.
4
In the episode “A woman’s right to shoes”, the main character married herself. ((Writer) Star, (Writer) Bicks, &
(Director) Van Paten, 2003).
11
‘sologamists’ have dated people after the ceremony or were still in relationships during
it. Moreover, there is no legal weight to a self-marriage ceremony, nor it an expectation
of it on the part of the participant.
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III. THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) is employed by the researchers as the
framework of study. IPA involves a detailed examination of an individual’s life world,
focusing on his/her personal perception or account of an object or experience (Smith &
Osborn, 2007). In brief, IPA places importance on the individual’s meaning-making, in
both personal and social worlds (Denzin, 1995).
IPA employs an idiographic focus—which emphasizes the individual—and

phenomenological description—how the participants describe their experience
themselves—and uses these to make an insightful interpretation in a given context (Gill,
2014). In more practical terms, a two-stage interpretation process takes place: first,
respondents give meaning to a particular phenomenon or experience; then the
researchers construe how the respondents made sense of the phenomenon or
experience (Smith & Osborn, 2007). Thus, the researchers play an active role in getting
close to the respondents’ personal world (Smith & Osborn, 2007) and in portraying it.
Researchers must therefore hold no pre-conceived hypotheses prior to analysis and must
not set fixed directions for the second stage of interpretation, to avoid bias.
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IV. METHODOLOGY
This study used interviews as the primary mode of data gathering; respondents were
asked for their personal accounts of and views on singlehood and ‘sologamy’ as defined
in previous sections (see Sologamy).
Sampling
Respondents were selected based on their availability and social proximity to the
researchers and certain socio-economic criteria (see below5). Most of them were living
and/or working or studying in Metro Manila. This selection method supported IPA in that
some respondents were more amenable to discuss highly sensitive topics, relating to
their personal experiences regarding singlehood, owing to their personal connection
with the researchers. On a more practical note, this also facilitated quick follow-up
requests for clarifications.
Additional sample criteria were employed to further limit the pool of respondents,
namely:
• Filipino, born and raised;
• single in a legal sense, and in however way the respondent chooses to define it6;
• employed/practicing a profession or studying; and
• aged between 20 and 44 years old.
These criteria limited respondents to those who still had first-hand experience of being
single and were still exposed to the full range of socio-economic pressures faced by
single people. Notably, the age range roughly corresponded to the stage in life when
most Filipinos would be in relationships, including marriage, and/or have jobs (Philippine
Statistics Authority, 2017, 2018). These criteria were also selected to approach the kind
of pressures or opportunities that pushed single people to become ‘sologamists’. The
researchers interviewed a total of 30 respondents.
Interview
The interview followed a semi-structured format, wherein a set of open-ended questions
(see below) were used to prompt the respondents:
• Are you single?
5
More or less corresponding to purposive/convenience sampling.
6
Although, this will generally be taken to mean the state of not being in a (romantic) relationship.
14
• Why are you single?

• Have you been involved in a relationship before?
• Have you heard about ‘sologamy’?
• How do you feel about ‘sologamy’?
• Do you think the notion of ‘sologamy’ will work in the Filipino setting?
In line with IPA, it was left to the respondents, as much as possible, to define and qualify
the concepts in question. Follow-up inquiries were asked to get an idea of the
respondents’ personal world and the ingrained societal expectations in it, reflective of
the social world. When respondents were not familiar with ‘sologamy’, the researchers
provided the explanation, mostly hewing to this definition: marrying oneself, through a
public ceremony. As warranted, researchers added explanations and examples to better
illustrate the concept.
Qualitative Analysis
The researchers compared similarities and differences among the individual experiences
of the respondents and analysed that in the framework of IPA. That is, the findings were
examined in relation to the personal world of respondents, and in relation to society. For
the latter, findings were contrasted with prevailing assumptions on Filipinos’ relationship
dynamics.
Scope and Limitations

Although IPA supported the choice of the data-gathering methods, it must be
acknowledged that time and resource constraints played a major role as well. Moreover,
as ‘sologamy’ often had to be explained to respondents, the interviewers may have
influenced how respondents understood the concept. Notably, the interviewers
themselves may have understood ‘sologamy’ differently. Indeed, some respondents
commented on ‘sologamy’ as not committing to anyone else, when in fact, practicing
‘’sologamists’ do not necessarily discount that option or were still in relationships when
they became so. Other respondents conflated ‘sologamy’ with singlehood by choice.
In setting up the interviews, some of the researchers may have inadvertently informed
the respondents on the topics in advance, which may have allowed those who did not
know what ‘sologamy’ meant to look it up in advance and form an opinion on it.
15
Note that this study focused on single people in part to fill perceived gaps in Philippine
research on relationships. Thus, it did not seek to survey the experiences of married
people or people in relationships and their views on ‘sologamy’. This could be the subject
of future researches on the issue. Lastly, more research could be done in relation to the
support systems of single people—a line of inquiry not pursued in the interviews.
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V. DATA ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION

Table 1: Quick Reference of findings (For complete data see
ANNEX I: INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT) 7
Gender Age Profession Living arrangements? Past Reason(s) for Knew about Could be a Would
relationshi being single sologamy ‘sologamist’? ‘sologamy’
p? prior to work in
interview? PH?
A1 F 39 Employee/Writer Condo/with sister/Ortigas Yes Standards Yes No No
A2 LGBT-Male 34 Writer Condo/solo/BGC Yes Standards No No No
A3 M 38 Writer Condo/Solo/Makati Yes Choice No No No/not yet
J1 F 33 Associate Manager Quezon City/ Condo/solo Yes Standards No Yes No
J2 F 33 Analytics Manager Quezon City/with parents Yes Standards No No No
J3 M 36 Audiovisual Quezon City/solo/own house Yes Choice No Yes Possible
Technician
K1 M 30 Content Analyst Condominium Yes Choice No No No
BGC/roommate/parents in
province
K2 M 30 Mechanical Renting apartment in Teacher’s Yes Choice/personal No No No
Engineer village/with brother and sister/ development
parents in the province
C1 LGBT-Male 24 Junior Marketing Condo in Makati No Choice/not the Yes Yes Possible
Supervisor right time
C2 LGBT-Male 23 Government Lives with family No Standards No No No
7
Not all of the information on this table is in the transcripts; after the interviews, some clarifications were need for certain items. These were obtained through informal follow-ups.
17
Employee
N1 Male 27 R&D Engineer Quezon City: Lives with parents Yes Choice No No No
N2 Female 23 Project Associate Lives with parents Yes Choice n/a Yes n/a
An1 Female 23 Account Manager Boarding house in Makati/with Yes Choice/not a Yes No No
roommate/with parents in priority
Cavite on weekends
An2 LGBT-Male 25 Writer Dorm in University of the No Standards No Yes No
Philippines Diliman/with
parents in Cavite
M1 Male 28 Government n/a No Choice/Standards No No No
Employee
M2 Male 25 n/a n/a No n/a No n/a Yes
M3 Male 27 n/a No n/a Yes n/a No
Ja1 Female 24 Communications Recently moved to Makati from Yes Standards No Yes Possible
Officer Quezon City
Ja2 Female 25 Freelance Film Dorm in University of the No Choice/not ready to Yes No No
Producer Philippines Diliman/spends commit
weekends with family in Laguna
Ja3 Female 27 Supervisor Panay Avenue, Quezon No Choice Yes No Yes
City/with roommates
Ay1 LGBT-Male 24 n/a Rents room in Makati/with Yes Choice No No No
brother
Ay2 Female 34 n/a Lives with family in Makati Yes Choice/family No No No
responsibility
E1 Female 34 Defense Analyst Condo shared with a Yes Circumstance No No No
friend/Taguig
Er1 Male 29 Defense Analyst Quezon City/solo Yes Choice No No Not sure
Er2 Female 29 Administrative Marikina/solo Yes Choice Yes No No
Officer
D1 LGBT-Male 22 Graduate Student Lives in an apartment in UP Yes Choice/focus on Yes No No
Village with Brother Studies
D2 Male 22 Government Lives in an apartment in No Choice No No Yes
employee Katipunan
R1 Female 24 n/a Rents in Makati/family in Yes Choice Yes Yes Possible
Laguna
Ca1 LGBT-Male 23 Associate Rents condo in QC/spends Yes Choice/Not ready No No No
Producer weekends with family in
province
Ca2 Female 20 Data Science Rents condo in Makati; spends Yes n/a No No No
Executive weekend with family in province
18
ANALYSIS: SINGLEHOOD
Most of the respondents said that they choose to be single. Only one claimed
circumstance as a reason, and half a dozen preferred to stay single rather than be with
subpar partners. This despite the well-documented pressures on people to marry or to
be in relationships.
A1: “The pressure, the social pressure to be coupled up is too strong here. I mean,
it’s bad enough that people… I mean for a person who’s single, it’s bad enough
that you know… If you’re single, you’re already seen as some sort of less than, by
your, maybe by your family, by your friends, because of social assumptions we
have”.
In contrast, some respondents acknowledge that the times are different, and pressures
are no longer as strong as they used to be.
R1: “Kasi wala tayo sa trend ngayon or wala tayo dun sa era na, wherein maraming
gyera na nagaganap na sobrang massive ng economic crisis, na okay mag prioritize
ka na maikli lang ang buhay..[We are no longer following the trend, or no longer in
the era wherein there were so many wars happening that economic crises were
massive, that it was ok to prioritize as if life was short]. kailangan ko magka-
pamilya, I have to have kids to continue the generation ng family ko, yung ganung
pag-iisip. [The thinking would be, I have to have family, kids to continue my family
line]”.
Thus, the current situation of single Filipinos seems to be varied and clear cut. Discussed
and contrasted below are some of the common trends in the personal accounts of the
respondents.
Table 2: Quick Comparison of factors affecting singlehood
Personal Social
Convenience/personal preference Family obligations
Financial independence Acceptance of empowered women and LGBT
Past relationships Family upbringing
Family obligations More economic and academic opportunities
Distance from family Distance from family/society
Professional and academic goals
Living arrangements
19
Lifestyle choice: individuality and empowerment

Respondents generally viewed relationships as long-term commitments and/or as
preliminary steps towards marriage. Indeed, many of those single-by-choice respondents
brought up independence from responsibilities and the freedoms of singlehood—such as
not having time or movement constraints and/or relationship complications—as reasons
why they were reluctant to give up their lifestyles.
N2: “I'm okay with being single because I like doing things on my own, where and
when I want to do it…..And also because hindi ko rin mabitawan yung freedom,
yung independence [And also because I can’t give up the freedom, the
independence], the stress-free life when you are single because you don't have to
attend to anyone.”
AN2: “Parang napapaisip na ako na parang ayoko naman, ayoko naman to be in a

lifelong commitment [Sometimes I end up thinking that I don’t, I don’t want to be
in a lifelong commitment]. Parang I can be on my own, ganun [Like I can be on my
own]. Pero [But] I can enjoy … facets of what is called love.”
A few of the single-by-choice respondents stated that they were unprepared to proceed
from singlehood, seemingly with the view that being single is supposed to be a
temporary status. One respondent attributed this to immaturity and the lack of financial
means (see Economic status), while another respondent said that her upbringing
dictated that she be well-prepared before starting a family.
Three respondents cited personal development goals, academic or professional, as more

important than relationships, at least at their current stage in life.
D2: “Pwede kaya nating sabihin na nagiging competitive8 na ang tao ngayon; or
mataas ang employment rate [We could say that people are more competitive
than before, or that employment rate is higher]. So people would be more career-
oriented than before, also self-enrichment muna siguro [also would prioritize self-
enrichment for the moment].”
8
It is not very clear, but competitive here may refer to people being more employable, rather than being in competition
with their peers.
20
K1: “I’m just focused on my personal development and achieving my personal

goals. Relationship distracts me most of the time.”
Ja3: “I am currently single because I do have self-imposed that as long as I don't

have my college diploma at hand, I don't have the right to be in relationship.[sic]”
Economic status and family obligations

Respondents were working mostly white-collar jobs, with a few pursuing higher studies.
However, their socio-economic status varied, notably in terms of perceived self-
sufficiency9. This affected their singlehood in different ways. Some were able to remain
single because they could afford the lifestyle10 (see Lifestyle choice: individuali), while
others seemed to hold their limited financial means as a main factor in their choice to
remain single.
Financial stability is seen as a pre-requisite to marriage.

M1: “Siyempre kung may sapat ka ng pera, may sarili ka ng bahay kahit hindi
naman malaki or marangya tapos may maganda kang trabaho mas malaking
factor yun para makapag asawa ka na. [Of course if you have enough money, you
have your own house, no matter if it’s not big or lavish, and a good job to boot,
that would be a bigger factor for you to able to marry.]”
One respondent raised the importance of having sufficient finances to avoid spousal
disagreements.
E1: “….bilang isang babae kasi, ayaw ko namang mangyari na isipin ng maging
asawa ko na ang kinikita niyang pera na inaabot sa akin ay napapunta sa mga
magulang ko. Kahit sabihin ko na galing sa sweldo ko ang binibigay ko sa
magulang ko sa tingin ko ay mag cause pa rin ng misunderstanding kaya mas
advantageous ang single muna. [As a woman, I don’t want my future husband to
think that I was just handing over his earnings to my parents. Even if … the money
I would be giving to my parents were my own, it would still cause a
misunderstanding so it is more advantageous to stay single].”
9
Unfortunately, not explicitly asked in interviews.
10
Unfortunately, not explicitly asked in interviews.
21
A few respondents cited familial responsibility as their reason for being single; these
were people who were still providing financial support to their respective families,
especially in paying for the education of their younger siblings. One respondent raised
the point that early marriage equates to hardship for the new family/offspring, and that
single people can provide financial support more easily to their families (parents and
younger siblings).
M1: “Lumaki kasi ako sa hirap at yung mga nakakatanda sa akin na mga kapatid
maaga nagsipag asawa [I grew up poor, and my elder siblings got married early].
Sabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi muna ako mag aasawa ng maaga para hindi
maranasan ng magiging family ko yung naranasan kong hirap before [I told myself
that I would not marry early so that my future family would not experience the
hardships that I did]. Mas nakakatulong ka financially sa family pag single ka [You
can contribute more financial help to your family of you are single].”
Women empowerment
Perhaps symptomatic of female empowerment contrasting against the more prohibitive
expectations of women11, the single-by-choice females in their 20s spoke specifically of
the importance of personal freedom.
R1: “My take is for as long as there’s a group of people battling against tradition.
Since women ang laging inaatake sa issue na ganyan [are always being attacked
on that issue] [singlehood], it would benefit the women empowerment
movement.”
Ja1: “Kasi dito parang kahit mas liberated yung mga babae or at least sa tingin ko,
parang meron paring mataas na expectation na magpakasal ka and eventually
magka anak ka[Because here, even if women are more liberated, at least in my
view, expectations are still high that women should marry and have children]. Pero
sa situation ko di naman ako nakakaramdam ng sobrang pressure [For myself, I
don’t feel too much pressure]. Siguro partly narin dahil financially independent
naman ako at may mga bagay na interesadong gawin [Maybe because I’m
financially independent and have other interests].”
Aside from the above-mentioned, biological concerns appear to still be a concern, and to
still be a main cause of pressure on women to marry and have children.
11
E.g. having to get married earlier than men, being expected to raise a family rather than work etc..
22
R1: “Iba kapag sinabing may balak ka mag-asawa but not in your 20s... ang sagot
agad ng iba, ‘Ay sabi nila mahirap na daw manganak pag 30 na or 40’ [It’s
different if you say you plan to get married, but not in your 20s, the response
would be ‘Ay, it would be difficult to have children in your 30s or 40s’]. Parang
laging reproductive [It’s almost always reproductive] . Ako ba ang aking matres?
[Am I my womb?] Tapos iba din naman kapag wala kang plano at all [It is also
different if you have no plans at all]. Parang ‘Pano pag-nagbago ang isip mo nasa
kwarenta ka na, di ka na mag-kakanak.’ [What if you change your mind at 40? You
won’t be able to have children anymore] Hindi pa din nawawala yung sense ng
biological [The biological aspect has not yet disappeared].”
Note that, for one male respondent, biology is less of an issue.

M1: “Tsaka sa pananaw ko naman walang deadline ang pag aasawa kasi habang
buhay yan eh [Also, in my view, getting married has no deadlines]”.
Standards
Six respondents were looking for relationships, but had yet to find a partner would meet
their standards. One respondent even claimed to be a perfectionist in this matter.
Increased economic and education opportunities12 probably contributed to some
respondents having higher standards for choosing partners, to an extent that they would
rather be single than be with someone not up to par. If so, these would agree with
trends in the US and Asia (see
12
It was not systematically asked, but it is assumed that most of the respondents had at least a tertiary level of
education.
23
Review of Related Literature).

Ja1: “Basically wala lang akong namimeet na pagkakilala ko sa kanya attracted
ako sa kanya parin at the same time interesado ako sa gusto nyang sabihin
[Basically I have yet to meet a person to whom I am attracted [physically] and, at
the same time, who has interesting things to say]. … Walang gwapo, walang may
utak … Walang matinong kausap [Not a lot of handsome men, with brains, good
conversationalist].”
An2: “Parang… Pero may kapalit yun e [It’s like a trade-off], like ite-trade mo yung
mga ideals mo, parang ideal type [you’re giving up your ideals, your ideal type],
for the sake of being in a relationship. You can get that easily. Pero if you’re aiming
for a relationship that is ideal, I think yan yung nagiging mahirap [that’s where it
gets difficult] and ako yung [I’m the] type ng person na idealistic. Parang it’s this
[type of relationship], or not.”
Past Relationships
Twenty-one of the respondents have had romantic relationships in the past, including
several of the younger people. As all the respondents were single at the time of
interview, this meant that somehow their relationships have ‘failed’13. This is a
phenomenon often overlooked in official statistics—despite its potential for explaining
prolonged singlehood. For example, having had ‘failed’ relationships might have
increased the reluctance to find partners and/or raise standards; as well, the greater
freedom to have multiple partners may influence life decisions.
Ja3: “The newer generation…They somehow now know the consequences of being
in a relationship, so they rather love themselves than to be hurt.”
Er1 “I wasn’t actually in the market for relationships pa rin. One, the way I was
raised up. I was raised to basically think that if you go into relationships especially
when you are going to have a family, you have to be prepared for it. Partly, I
would say it’s a reaction to the house history. To be blunt most of the men for
both branches of my households are failures in relationship. By failures I don’t
mean they didn’t have any, but failures I mean their family lives are a mess, that’s
all I’m going to say. So yeah, I was brought up basically to not really shun
relationships but to not consider them until I feel I’m personally ready.”
24
It has to be noted that as respondents were still bound by Philippine law14, none of their
relationships probably meant marriage, if they were single at the time of interview. That
said, not all were asked about the type of relationship they have had in the past, which
could also impact views on singlehood; e.g. it could be that people who have had more
serious relationships are more likely to no longer actively look for succeeding partners.
Living arrangements
Only five respondents were living with their parents/immediate family on a full-time
basis. Everyone else was renting or sharing apartments or condominium units or living in
dormitories or boarding houses, presumably to be closer to their places of work. Of
these, most lived alone or shared their lodgings with friends/siblings; seven regularly go
back to their families during the weekends. Only one respondent had his own house15.
Only one respondent considered how his living arrangements affect his status16.
Ca1: “Affects relationship status siguro [perhaps] in a sense na [that] I am more
free? I can have guys or girls sa [in my] place ko ng walang magjujudge o
mangingialam [with no one to judge or meddle]. Dahil sa ganung [with such a]
setup, mas matotolerate siguro ung pilosopiya na [it would be more tolerable, the
philosophy that] it's ok not to settle with one exclusive partner. Naging mas
malandi ako nung nagsolo mabuhay [I became more flirtatious when I began to
live alone]."17
While everyone else responded in the negative, it still cannot be ignored that there
would be some form of pressure caused by living arrangements such as, for example, the
primacy of work and or school and the effects of inefficient travel times on one’s ability
to set aside time and effort for meeting and sustain relations with a partner. Moreover,
the physical distance from families/parents remove may ease some pressures in a
practical sense, as was noted by Ca1 (see above), but also because being away from their
families and/or living in less close-knit communities perhaps also diminishes their
feelings of familial obligations18, and of pressures on them to have families of their own.
14
In that they were surely not divorced, and probably not have undergone annulment.
15
Not too clear whether own house, renting or family house.
16
Admittedly, this was part of the information obtained through quick follow ups, and therefore, could perhaps be
explored in a more in depth manner.
17
Not in transcript; obtained from a follow up clarification.
18
Although this may also be attributed to the higher socio-economic status of their families: unfortunately also not
systematically asked for in interviews.
25
One correspondent links her being in an urban environment to her singlehood, implying
that people in rural areas are more likely to get married given their lack of other options.
R1: “I live in Manila. I work at an international organization. I had good
opportunity in terms of education. Parang ang daming [there seems to be a lot of]
opportunities around you. Pwede ka mag-aral [you can study], there’s a lot of
growth in terms of professional sa area na kung nasaan ako [where I am]. … Na
feeling ko nandun yung attention ko ngayon, nandun yung goals ko, yung wants
ko.[I feelt that my attention, my goals and my wants [is there] now].”
Social media
How people look for potential partners had not been really part of the questioning
process. However, one respondent did bring up the implications of dating via dating
apps, specifically, the more informal and short-time relationships that it apparently
encourages.
A2: “For me, since a long time ago, I’ve been using…Oh to date people you mean?
Well, dating apps, but the ones I’ve had a relationship with, I didn’t meet through
dating apps, but through common friends, we were introduced to each other. So
because of that, I’ve always had the stereotype that dating app, that’s just for
hook-ups.”
Another respondent emphasized the power of the media to influence and normalize
ideas.
Er1: “In my opinion, my relationship scene here in the Philippines is very colored
by media and what I see in my own social circles. If the media were listened to
solely, you would think that everyone is hooking up that’s why we all have this
horror stories of teenage pregnancies.”
ANALYSIS: ACCEPTANCE OF ‘SOLOGAMY’
Table 3: Quick Comparison of factors

Personal Social
Will Respect for personal choice Openness towards Western ideas/particularly
work Individuality among millennials
Interpreted as a form of singlehood Celebrity/media support
Will Impractical/Unnecessary Religion

not Weak philosophical underpinnings Conservative/family-oriented society
work Passing trend
Media-bashing
26
‘Sologamy’ will not work

In general, ‘sologamy’ was viewed negatively. Of the 30 respondents, 21 said that they
would not be willing to do it and 2119 also said that it would not work in Philippine
society. Given the mainstream pressures and norms brought up by literature on
relationships (see Sologamy and Family, relationships and singlehood in Philippine
society), this was an expected result.
‘Sologamy’ will not work: Personal

Respondents expressed different views on why ‘sologamy’ would not work. Some
evoked the pointlessness of it:
A1: “I mean, if you’re single, you’re single. I don’t think you need to do anything to
… I mean it’s like the default state, I guess. Unless you go out and change that, if
you’re single, I don’t think you need a ceremony to formalize it. So that’s why I
think it’s weird. It’s protesting too much maybe.”
An1: “There’s no need for me to marry myself. Feeling ko sa sarili nags-start yan [I
think that it starts with the self]. Once you value yourself then other people will
see you na [that] ‘oh, she values herself’ so you can attract more people.”
Others, while recognizing the value of self-love, do not agree that it is necessary to make
a public declaration of it, or that becoming a ‘sologamist’ represents selfishness and/or
extreme vanity.
N1: “Even the ceremony. Why would you actually need a ceremony as a way of
saying you commit to yourself? Kaya nga parang [That’s why] the phenomenon to
me seems more of an exaggeration—almost to an egoistic or narcissistic sense [or
an] an extreme form. Parang [It’s like] [even] without the ceremony or the
phenomenon of sologamy itself, you can be self-committed.”
Ca2: 1. “No. Filipinos are vain but not vain enough to do something crazy like
that.”
One respondent commented on the faulty philosophical underpinnings of ‘sologamy’.
19
A few people were willing to do it, but did not think it would work in Philippine society, and a few people who were
not willing to do it, thought that it would work in Philippine society.
27
A2: “I’m not quite sure about the philosophical foundation of sologamy in the
sense that the idea of having a relationship is to make you come out of yourself.
Because, well…I am wary that this is one of, it’s part of … the cult of individualism
and, I think it’s part of that, I think it might be, I’m not sure, and it sounds
solipsistic to me… Solipsistic, like retreating back into yourself. I think the idea of
love is to meet another person, in philosophical terms, to be restored to the
otherness of being… I think that the real adventure of existence lies with …
spending it with another person, and by spending it with another person, I mean
to go out of yourself, right. How else would you change right . . .?”
One respondent saw it as an excuse; instead of admitting that they cannot find partners,
they would label themselves as ‘sologamists’20.
‘Sologamy’ will not work: Social

Respondents cited the strongly conservative and familial nature of Filipinos as a main
obstacle to the acceptance of ‘sologamy’. One respondent reasoned that if social
pressure to be coupled is strong, then the social pressure against ‘sologamy’ should be
even stronger. Another pointed out that if divorce has not yet been accepted, then
‘sologamy’ would not be tolerated either. In short, the values and other things needed
for ‘sologamy’ to be accepted are still not present or, as a few respondents put it,
Philippine society might not be advanced enough for such a concept to flourish.
N1: “The nuclear family and the extended family set up in the Philippines. For
someone to think about sologamy, sa tingin ko [in my opinion], you have had to be
exposed to a certain level of education or certain discourse and arguments, which
I think hindi pa masyadong nandito sa Pilipinas [not very present in the
Philippines]. Kaya ko naisip na napaka-first world niya [which is why it seemed
such a first-world idea to me]. Wala pa naman tayo sa stage na [we are still not at
the stage where] we are atomic. They say that as a society advances towards a
more advanced form of economic development, or post-industrial, post high mass
consumption stage if you are using Maslow, society tends to be atomized. …This is
what happened in Japan—that’s why their literature figured so much on loneliness
and the modern life. The individual was so much disjointed with society and
everyone else… Maybe those from Europe are already at the tipping point. But for
20
This of course, represents a bit of a misunderstanding on the nature of ‘sologamy’ as always having to be exclusive,
in the way that traditional marriages are expected to be.
28
us, not so much…. Kasi naman yung configuration ng family life [It’s because the
configuration of family life] in the First World tends to be less21 detached [sic].”
An2: “I don’t think hindi tayo ganun ka-educated [we are that educated] with
regards to gender and sensitivity. I mean some people are educated about gender
and sexuality but most of these nangyayari sa [happens at] tertiary [education]
level or actually hindi din naman lahat ng [not all] tertiary [education] institutions
nag-o-offer ng ganun or ng magandang [offer that kind or good quality] training
for that. Uneducated if not, poorly-educated tayo sa aspetong yun [in that aspect].
Kasi [Because] I think it’s a matter of . . . sexuality and gender”
When asked what would happen if someone were to become a ‘sologamist’ in the
Philippines, some respondents surmised a negative public response.
A3: “I bet it will be announced on social media, and, I don’t know, majority of the
reaction would be bashing, that’s the natural tendency of the Filipino, Filipinos
nowadays to bash people, to have an opinion, to come up. I think that’s what
would happen, and that’s as far as I can imagine it, so I don’t know, if it survives
that, the initial social media reaction and become a sub-culture maybe it would
have a chance of surviving and thriving in the very far future. But now, it’s just
bashing. People won’t get it, I think.”
D2: “However, in the Philippines, it’s a very conservative country where people
put importance to family; like they value marriage more, like couples, and not
being yourself. And people will encourage you to like, pakasalan yung jowa mo or
ganyan, humanap ka ng jowa [marry your boyfriend/girlfriend or find one]. I mean,
there will be relatives who will actually look for eligible bachelor/rette for you, just
so you can like start your family. People in the Philippines have this notion that
your life will be complete if your genealogy or like your family tree will grow and
have own line of your descendants. But then it’s very different, because in the
Philippines, you are really compelled to marry someone and the idea of love is
really romanticized so regardless if you’re really an achiever.”
K2: “Kasi [Because] ang Philippine society talaga ay [is] very family-oriented. Tama
ka nga na pag [You’re right that at] age 30 or 30 plus ang [the] expectation ay nag-
sesettle down na [is to have settled down already], nagbabago na dapat priorities
21
Probably meant more detached.
29
mo [you’re priorities should change]. So may ganyang pang question na 'di pa ma-
accept [So there’s still that types of questions that still can’t be accepted].”
Religion was also cited as a reason. Most Filipinos, being Roman Catholics, would hew
closely to the traditional church definition of marriage.
An2: “Well, of course anjan lagi yung influence ng religion [the influence of
religion is always there]….it’s their religious-self speaking sa tingin ko kasi wala
yan sa. . . bible or wala yan sa teachings [I think that’s it’s not in the bible nor the
teaching] tapos at the same time wala pa naman legal na, well for the Philippines,
wala pa naman legal basis [there’s still no legal basis].”
N2: “Also, dahil [since] very widespread pa rin ang Catholicism dito [here], it's also
possible that the Church is going to shame you. I can say that as a Catholic. They
are going to shame you especially if you are a woman. It's already so bad how
some people think women are not supposed to be career-oriented or goal driven
who doesn't want a man to serve in her life. What more the possible shaming or
the backlash na matatanggap mo [that you would receive] if you make that
statement of you actually committing to marrying yourself?”
‘Sologamy’ might work

Affirmative opinions of ‘sologamy’ were mixed. Four respondents said that they would
consider becoming ‘sologamists’, and that it might become acceptable in Philippine
society at some point. Two people said that they would consider doing it, but that
‘sologamy’ would not catch on at the level of society. Another respondent was willing to
consider becoming a 'sologamist’; while another would not be willing to do ‘sologamy’
but thought that it would work in Philippine society.
‘Sologamy’ might work: Personal

People who though that ‘sologamy’ could work at least at an individual level, emphasized
people’s freedom of choice.
C2: “Yes, I think that people can do whatever they want with their lives. They may
wish to even get married to a tree. Whatever makes people happy and not affect
anyone in the process would be an ideal set up. Also, as mentioned, I don't think
that there is a legal bearing that would acknowledge the ceremony or practice. It
is a belief that people should respect. As an individual, we have the right how we
want to live our lives.”
30
An2: “It’s a personal thing … kaya ako open sa kanya kasi [that’s why I’m open to
it because] it’s a personal thing, it’s a personal choice, na [that] it doesn’t trample
on others’ rights or … it doesn’t destroy monogamy or polygamy for that matter.
It’s a personal choice. I think people are just… Some people think so na na-disrupt
yung, kasi [Some people think that it would disrupt [norms] because] they don’t
go beyond themselves”
One respondent equated ‘sologamy’ with singlehood by choice in that she saw
sologamy as something she had already been doing22.
Ja1: “Yung naman ginagawa ko all this time [That’s what I’ve been all this time].
wala lang akong term for it [Just did not have a term for it].”
Other respondents, while neither willing to become ‘sologamists’ nor optimistic about it
taking root in Philippine society, nevertheless recognized that it may have some
therapeutic/emotional value.
A3: “Maybe for other people it’s important to self-declare, right, that this is a
choice, that I want my life to be … but to me I don’t think that’s necessary.”
A2: “I think it will catch on among people, for people who are into inspirational
stuff. I’m beginning to think now that it’s something self-inspirational, self-help
right? Something along those lines.”
Though not accepting of the concept, some respondents had an idea of which Filipinos
would probably do ‘sologamy’—notably the artistic, passionate people and/or those
from affluent social backgrounds.
A3: “Celebrities. People in literature maybe? … Actors, Actresses. Poets, writers.
People… for some reason, I think they would be people on the creative…how do
you say it? People who are highly artistic and vocal about, I don’t know, highly
artistic and passionate and terribly lonely. And passionate…”
22
The public ceremony aspect might not have been made clear.
31
N1: “I would tend to think that sologamy trend would appeal more to people who
are at a certain level of economic status, who have different priorities, those at
the mid-management level in their careers I think may want to consider.”
‘Sologamy’ might work: Social

A few respondents surmised that ‘sologamy’ might work because it is associated with
Western ideals, of which many Filipinos, particularly millennials, are seen to be more
accepting. One respondent suggested that it may be used to put a positive spin on
negative views of single people.
C2: “I think that it [sologamy] is already present in the Philippine setting but
Filipinos just does not have the proper and general terminology for it. In fact, the
practice/situation is perceived as negative especially for women where Filipinos
call them "matandang dalaga/binata"[old maid/bachelor23] or "napag-iwanan"[left
behind]. The term sologamy has given it a more positive image-maybe it's because
it's a western terminology? Going back to the question at hand, I believe it is
something that can be adopted and combined with the existing practice of the
Filipinos. As for 'why', well Filipinos have the tendency to just embrace any
western idea since it gives the situation a better explanation.”
Some respondents explored the idea of what would happen if influential, famous
Filipinos were to become ‘sologamists’. They concluded that, in that case, it might be
more likely for Filipino society to become more accepting.
A3: “But if it’s… some influential people, there’s a higher likelihood that that
person will have supporters who will answer to the bashing, or will express
support to whatever the… who will express support for that person.”
Er2: “Not in the near future, pero kung [but if] long term…kasi yung generation
ngayon open-minded [because the generation now]… society for it to advance has
to adapt to different practices, to different cultures, or ideas and concepts…And
although slow, I think with the kind of generation, yung mga millenials ngayon di
na maintindihan ng [the millennials of today can’t be understood by the] older
generation na [such that] what they’re doing now may not be foreseen by the
older generation. With the changing environment, easing it with technology and
23
The translation is not exact, there does not seem to be an exact equivalent in English, which carries a similar
derogatory note.
32
yung culture na we travel a lot, as in no borders, more interaction with people

across the world, that would help to at least introduce the concept”.
33
VI. CONCLUSION
On singlehood and relationships in the contemporary Philippine society
The interviews with respondents confirmed that many of the traditional expectations
and stigmas associated with single people continue to have a hold in Philippine society—
particularly affected were the female respondents, who are expected to marry and bear
children.
That said, many socio-economic factors seem help/oblige people to remain single. It is
noteworthy that, as hinted by existing literature, increased economic and educational
opportunities played a part by offering alternatives to relationships, by making people
more informed, or by enabling people to afford a single lifestyle. A majority of
respondents were no longer living with their families, at least not at a full-time basis; this
challenges the image of single Filipinos staying with their parents until marriage.
Moreover, traditional pressures, while still present, no longer seem to be as powerful or
as well-heeded as in the past.
On ‘sologamy’ as a possible trend that would appeal to single Filipinos

As expected, respondents had largely negative views of ‘sologamy’, citing personal
preferences and social pressures such as religion and tradition. However, there were
surprisingly a number of people who were willing to consider becoming ‘sologamists’
and even more who empathized with ‘sologamous’ values of self-value, self-
commitment, and freedom. A few also mentioned that, as a personal choice, ‘sologamy’
should be respected. This perhaps reflects growing tendencies to respect individual
choices. Some respondents also conflated the idea of ‘sologamy’ with singlehood;
perhaps framed in this way, the concept would be more acceptable on personal and
social levels.
On a social level, a few respondents saw the possibility of ‘sologamy’ gaining ground,
most likely among the Western-oriented young people, more affluent, and artistic. Given
the rise in the number of such individuals among the population, it may indeed confirm
that Philippine society is increasingly becoming more accepting of new ideas.
Instrumental to that is the participation of the media and influential people.
The methodology of asking the respondent’s views of concepts that they have not yet
encountered could also serve as a reference for future research on similarly ‘new’
phenomena.
Recommendations
34
This study uncovers some aspects of Philippine society that remain unexplored in
mainstream research. However, owing to limited time and resources, many aspects or
factors that may correlate to sologamy as an emerging social phenomenon could not be
pursued in depth. Perceptions of singlehood among the LGBT community, while taken
into account in the research, did not reveal so much, as well as the importance of media,
especially social media despite its importance in spreading or normalizing new concepts.
It is also perhaps needful to employ narrower and varied criteria in selecting
respondents, especially as the term ‘single’ as a civil status turned out to be applicable to
a very wide variety of people. Some suggestions as respondents for further research
would be LGBTs, millennials, people living alone, females approaching 40, and so on. In
addition, future samples should contain more people, as practical, derive at a more
comprehensive view of studying the likelihood of emerging trends.
VII. BIBLIOGRAPHY
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39
ANNEX I: INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPTS
40
RESPONDENT: A1 A: But does that mean that you were
A: For the record, what’s the name? looking not to be?
F: My name? I don’t want to give my name. F: If it came up, if the opportunity came up.
A: So you wish to remain anonymous? If there were somebody interesting, I think
F: I wish to remain anonymous. I would try it, but I don’t know, it hasn’t
A: OK. Occupation? Age? Blah blah blah? come up.
F: Employee. 39 years old. A: So that means you’re not actively
A: Would you consider yourself rich? looking, per se?
Poor? I don’t know? F: How do you define looking?
F: I’d say I’m middle class. A: I don’t know. Because you say, if you
A: Ok. What’s middle class? find someone, if you see someone who’s
F: I don’t know…I’m not rich, I’m not interesting, you will. How do you find
poor. I’m gainfully employed. someone interesting?
A: Gainfully employed. OK. So are you F: They just turn up I guess? I don’t know,
single? I wouldn’t, I haven’t thought about whether
F: Yes. I could call myself “looking”.
A: How do you define single? A: Ok.
F: Not in a relationship. F: I mean I think I am. It’s.. But I’m not
A: So why do you think you’re single? personally as active as others.
F: Primarily, I’m single because I haven’t A: Were you “active” in the past?
found anyone I want to be in a relationship F: No, I’ve never been active.
with. A: So, what do you think about.. do you
A: Secondarily, I’m not sure [if] know what sologamy is?
relationships make people happy. So, I F: I think it means, marrying yourself?
mean, I’ve had relationships which made A: So what do you think of that, personally?
me feel bad, so. But I wouldn’t know, F: It’s weird.
because it’s not like I’ve had a chance to A: How so?
choose between being in a relationship and F: I mean, if you’re single, you’re single. I
not, in recent years. don’t think you need to do anything to … I
F: What do you mean not a choice? mean it’s like the default state, I guess.
A: I mean, the option to be in a relationship Unless you go out and change that, if you’re
did not present itself so it’s not as though single, I don’t think you need a ceremony
I’m single by choice right now. to formalize it. So that’s why I think it’s
weird. It’s protesting too much maybe.
A: Ok. So it’s something superficial F: The pressure, the social pressure to be
perhaps? coupled up is too strong here. I mean, it’s
F: No, it’s… I mean if somebody… If you bad enough that people… I mean for a
don’t want to be in a relationship and person who’s single, it’s bad enough that
somebody came up and asked you to be in you know… If you’re single, you’re
one, then it’s a simple thing to say no. So I already seen as some sort of less than, by
don’t think you need to. I mean what would your, maybe by your family, by your
be the purpose of being married to yourself, friends, because of social assumptions we
if somebody came up to you and wanted to have, and then for you to actually make that
be with you, you’d say “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sort of commitment, I think it would be,
married to myself”. well I think primarily it would be seen as
A: Yeah, what’s the point? weird, which is never good in a culture like
F: Right? I mean it has no practical ours. So I don’t think 1, it wouldn’t catch
purpose, and it… it seems strange, if you’re on because it’s weird, and 2, because social
happy being single, then you don’t need to pressures are against it. And 3….I had a
mark it that way. I just think it’s…it’s really third point….It would just add to your
weird. personal weirdness, like your social circles
A: Perhaps it’s getting into a relationship would think that you’re even weirder than
with someone who can’t say no? you already are, inherently, from being
F: What what what? single. So yeah, it’s not going to catch on
A: Perhaps it’s a way of getting into a here.
relationship with someone who can’t say A: What do you think would happen to the
no? first person to do it here?
F: Oh god, that’s horrible. F: Well not, probably not open ridicule or
A: It is. opprobrium..
F: That’s horrible. Seriously, I see no A: [unintelligible]
practical purpose for it, and as an abstract F: but I don’t think it would influence
thing to do, like, I don’t know, as a anybody. I think social forces against it are
statement to make to yourself, it really is too strong. It might influence a few people,
protesting too much, I think. like “hey, that’s an option” but I really…
A: Do you think it’ll ever catch on here? Maybe I’m too deep with it, the self that
F: No. thinks this is ridiculous, but I just can’t see
A: Why not? being influenced by it, I can’t imagine it.
A: What if someone famous did it? Already G: I’m 34 years old, I’m a reporting officer
famous, mind you. for a humanitarian organization, before that
F: More power to them, but it wouldn’t I taught in Ateneo for 10 years. I was a
make me want to do it. I mean, people teacher of literature, my background is
aren’t getting married, well maybe they are. literature and creative writing.
I was going to say, people aren’t getting A: Where do you live now?
married because famous people are getting G: I live in Mckinley, in Taguig.
married, but I’m sure that contributes to the A: How long have you been living there?
social pressure. Maybe some people, I’d G: For more than... a little above 2 years.
say maybe some people would be A: Are you living alone?
influenced if somebody famous did it, but I G: Yeah.
wouldn’t. A: Have you always lived alone?
A: Yeah, I think that’s all I needed to ask, G: Yes, since when I was in… since after
unless you had anything else to say. college, when I no longer had roommates.
F: OK. A: Ok, so since beginning to work, you
A: Can I use the recording? were living alone?
F: Sure, ok. Thank you very much. G: Yeah, around 2004, 5.
A: So, are you single?
PS: Interviewer forgot to ask about living G: Yes.
arrangements. Adding off the recording: A: How do you define single?
A: What are your living arrangements? G: It’s basically living alone and there’s no
F: I live with my sister, in a condo. constant companion.
A: In a high traffic area, residential? A: So it’s … can consider it single if you
Where? are in a relationship, but not necessarily…?
F: High traffic, I’d say. Behind Megamall. G: Yeah of course. I guess the relationship
is the technical aspect of it, but, I mean, it’s
RESPONDENT: A2 the technical definition of being single, you
A: So can I record? aren’t in a relationship with anyone, but
G: Yes. beyond that, I think it’s, lacking someone
A: Can I use your name? with whom you’re intimate with.
G: Just call me G. A: Ok. But what do you mean by
A: Ok G, some information about you? relationships in that sense?
G: A romantic relationship other than
friends.
A: Yes, but, how would you differentiate A: Oh that’s already long term already,
having a… so you’re saying that you can be depends on you, on your definition of long.
single while having a romantic G: Well, he was my boyfriend, but in…if
relationship? What would be the difference you say, if you’re referring to a long-term
between? partnership, I don’t…. I haven’t
G: Sorry, I’m not making myself clear. experienced one yet.
You’re single if you’re not in a long-term A: Ok. But you’re single right now?
relationship with another person, and I G: Yeah.
would suppose that that relationship A: Why do you think you’re single right
involves being…involves constant now?
companionship. And being intimate with G: That’s the question we all ask, the single
each other. people. I haven’t found the right person I
A: So a short-time relationship or with an guess. It… it sounds romantic, but by the
inconsistent presence in each others’ lives right person I just don’t mean the one, the
would not count as a relationship? supreme, but, you know, even that person,
G: Probably not. that you will get along with.
A: So you would consider yourself single A: And how do you go about meeting such
in that case? Ok- a person?
G: Yeah. I’ve been in a long-distance G: For me, since a long time ago, I’ve been
relationship, and we only saw each other using…Oh to date people you mean? Well,
once a year for a number of years. So, yeah dating apps, but the ones I’ve had a
I guess. relationship with, I didn’t meet through
A: But you considered yourself not single dating apps, but through common friends,
during that time? we were introduced to each other. So
G: I guess yeah, technically. But at the because of that, I’ve always had the
same time, I couldn’t really say I was… stereotype that dating app, that’s just for
there was… I had a constant companion. hook-ups.
Because I still lived alone. A: Well, if that’s your experience.
A: So that’s why it didn’t work out maybe? G: Yeah, but for meeting that guy you’ll
G: Yeah. have a relationship with, it’s not through
A: But have you had a long-term those apps.
relationship before that one. A: Ok. So you had…so just to clarify,
G: Just for a year. through those dating apps, you tried but you
haven’t managed?
G: I’ve always been open, if that’s what philosophical foundation of sologamy in
you mean by tried, open to the possibility of the sense that the idea of having a
furthering a date into something more relationship is to make you come out of
serious. But it’s never really happened. yourself. Because, well…
A: So it’s not just that there are certain dates A: The stated reasons for doing sologamy,
just for short-time relationships? There’s they vary, but one theme is that it’s a way
always the possibility of extending beyond of re-valorizing the self, saying that oneself
that. is important and saying it to society as a
G: Yeah. whole.
A: Ok. So, have you heard about G: Yeah, that’s the thing, I’m trying to find
sologamy? the words to explain myself. I am wary that
G: This is the first time I’ve heard of it. this is one of, it’s part of an overcult…or of
A: The idea is basically marrying yourself. an overall culture of … about the cult of
G: Ah ok. You want to talk some more individualism and, I think it’s part of that, I
about it? think it might be, I’m not sure, and it sounds
A: It’s like a… it’s a bit difficult to define solipsistic to me, marrying the self, because
because there’s a bunch of people who did the idea is
it, but there’s no…it’s not a real trend in A: I’m sorry, sounds what?
that sense. Anyway, the people who did it G: Solipsistic, like retreating back into
are…have done the wedding ceremony, yourself. I think the idea of love is to meet
basically in front of other people, basically another person, in philosophical terms, to
declaring a marriage to the self. And some be restored to the otherness of being,
of these people were single, some of them because …how do I explain it?
were…used to be in a relationship, and A: Wait wait, so what you’re saying is self-
some of them are already in a relationship love does not count?
and was just trying to redo a marriage G: As a relationship? Definitely not, I
ceremony which they weren’t satisfied with think. I mean…
the first time. So there’s lots of reasons for A: No, does not count as love?
doing it. Anyway, so what do you think G: No, I don’t know but that’s a very…
about the idea. you’re provoking me into thought,
G: Just based on what you’ve told me, I’d but…ok… we’re already, as a species,
probably don’t agree with it. I probably we’re already self-centered, in the sense
won’t lobby for it too or I mean if it comes that….which is not bad because we need a
to that. I mean, I’m not quite sure about the measure of self-centeredness to look, I
mean self-preservation, stuff like that. But A: Fair enough. So, would you think that it
for me, I’m trying to find a way to say it in would catch on in Philippine society?
a non-romantic way, but I can’t so just bear G: Well, since, if it’s a Western trend,
with it. But I think that the real adventure of probably yes.
existence lies with … spending it with A: It’s a Western trend….it happens in
another person, and by spending it with Europe, the US and Japan.
another person, I mean to go out of G: See, first world countries. So, my
yourself, right. How else would you change suspicion is , this is something … I’ll
right, or how… not necessarily change, or.. channel a French philosopher…
A: So what you’re saying basically is, self- A: Sure, feel free.
love is something, I don’t know, default? G: Alain Badiou. The problem he says with
G: Yeah, it’s already built into us, right. It’s contemporary love is our fear of risk.
something natural, and, in fact, too much of Especially because we… our lives are
it may be dangerous, socially and entangled with the entire system, capitalist,
politically also right? Yeah, I don’t maybe, risk is something you avoid, you
think…I think it’s part of that overall want profits all the time. But loving another
culture of.. Yeah, that’s why I don’t believe person is the ultimate risk right? Because
in that song “The greatest love of all”. you don’t know, basically you don’t know,
A: Ok. What does it say? and I think that’s how you get out of
G: It’s loving yourself, if I’m mistaken. yourself, you don’t know. Another
That’s not the greatest love of all. philosopher Levinas, Emmanuel Levinas
A: Ok, so just to restate. You personally, says that the time of the future, that which
will not do it, are not for it? you do not know, can only begin once you
G: Yeah, I won’t do it, I won’t support it. go out of yourself and actually engage with
A: If a friend of yours does it, would you another person. That’s when time begins,
attend the ceremony, if invited, for basically.
example? Or a family member or..? A: So sologamy for you is something…
G: I’ll probably attend the ceremony, but if G: Philosophically, I think it maybe shaky.
we’re really close and …if, depending on But those are just my thoughts, I haven’t
our closeness, I might first talk him out of really, studied the matter.
it maybe? A: But you were saying that it would catch
A: So you won’t hesitate to voice your… on in Philippine society?
G: Depending on our closeness. G: Possibly…
A: On what basis? Of course it’s same. I mean, after having done that, it’s
speculation. But… still be the same.
G: If only because most Western trends A: No big change? Ok.
catch on in the Philippines right? We have G: What if someone famous were to do it?
a way of adapting trends from the west. G: It would definitely catch on.
Only on that basis. A: Among whom, you think? Would you
A: But what do you think would happen to do it if someone famous did it?
the first person to do that here? G: No I won’t. I think celebrities,
G: He’d probably get bored with himself. especially?
A: Fair enough. What would happen…By A: Oh, you mean other celebrities would do
the way, the sologamy thing doesn’t mean it?
that you don’t have other relationships. G: Oh I thought the questions was who do
There are people who have undergone the you think would do it first?
ceremony, but still had… A: No…
G: So what’s the point of the ceremony G: I think it will catch on among people, for
then? people who are into inspirational stuff. I’m
A: The declaration, I think, of the value of beginning to think now that it’s something
the self? self-inspirational, self-help right?
G: Then I think it’s redundant, because Something along those lines.
whether we admit it or not, we already have A: Yes, there is that aspect.
some self-value already, it’s just a G: Something along the lines of that culture
matter…I guess the usefulness then is or whatever you call it.
articulating it for yourself. A: Ok. Well basically that’s all I had to ask,
A: Yes, perhaps, it’s true that some of the unless you had something to add?
people who did it were in abusive G: I guess that’s it.
relationships. A: Is it ok to use the recording itself?
G: I see. G: Yeah sure.
A: Going back to the question, so what do A: Ok, thank you very much.
you think would happen to the first person
to do it? I mean in terms of society at large? RESPONDENT: A3
G: They’d probably find it a novelty. And A: Can I record?
that person is probably going to find it a E: [nods].
novelty to do it first, but then he’ll realize
that without having done that, it’s still the
E: [Says name, but later declines to have it E: Exclusivity. That while I’m in a
used]. relationship, I won’t see other people.
A: Some information about you? A: Ok. But so if you’re in a relationship,
E: I’m 38, I work as a technical writer for a and you have not made that commitment,
humanitarian organization. I work, Monday you would still consider yourself single?
to Friday. I live alone. What else do you E: Yes.
want? A: How about regular?
A: Where do you live? E: I don’t know why I said that. Oh, maybe
E: I live here in Makati. because in the past, my last relationship, I
A: What kind of living arrangement? used to travel a lot, so it was on and off, so
E: What’s the way to say it…one-bedroom we were not always together. I was also
condo…condo unit. away. So maybe that’s why I said regular.
A: And how long have you been living Come to think of it, if we had been living
there? together, it would be different.
E: A little over a year. A: Perhaps. So you’ve not always been
A: How about your past living single?
arrangements? E: Correct, yeah. I’ve not always been
E: It’s mostly the same. It was in single.
Vancouver, but mostly the same. A: If you don’t mind my asking, have you
A: How about before Vancouver? been in a… what you would consider as a
E: The same. So basically for the past 10 serious relationship.
years or so, I’ve been living alone in Metro E: Yeah, in my mid to late 20s, when I was
Manila… working in another place.
A: And various other cities? A: So you weren’t in the Philippines at the
E: And various other cities. time?
A: So are you single? E: I was in the Philippines, I was working
E: Yes. at the US embassy. I worked there for 7
A: How do you define single? years. So I was there for quite a time. And
E: Not in a regular, I don’t know, and that was with a workmate, that I saw
committed relationship. together…no that I saw everyday.
A: So for you, regular and commitment are A: So why do you think you’re single now?
the… E: I don’t know, it’s…
E: Yeah, those are the key words for me. A: Sorry, for how long have you been
A: How do you define commitment? single, since the last relationship?
E: 20…just before I moved to the E: I don’t know, preferring to be solo?
[company name deleted]…6 or 7 years? Committed to yourself? Centering your life
A: So why do you think you have been on yourself?
single during that time? A: There is also an aspect of a ceremonial
E: Mostly by choice. And then, because step, in which you do like a public
during that time I didn’t know if I was going ceremony and invite your friends, or
to stay in the Philippines. Yeah, I think it’s whoever, your family.
mostly by choice, and then after that, yeah. E: No way.
A: Just to clarify two things. That did not A: No way what?
mean that you didn’t have relationships at E: You’re just making this up.
that time, just not committed or regular A: It’s super popular, it has existed for a
ones. while, but lately it’s been happening in
E: Correct. Europe, the US and Japan.
A: Second, is why did you choose to be E: Yeah, Japan I’ll bet.
single? A: But in Japan, it’s more of a novelty
E: Why did I choose? thing. Like if you were already married or
A: You said you chose to be single? haven’t been married yet and you just want
E: Yeah so, I didn’t know what I was going the experience without the relationship, or
to do, if I was going to stay in the redo the wedding you didn’t like 10 years
Philippines or not. And then I started a new ago. Something like that.
job, and was dealing with other issues. And E: Is it similar to people getting married to
then, I just thought that being in a serious inanimate objects? That’s a thing in Japan
relationship was inconvenient for me. too right? They get married to their
A: So it was, so, in a way it was work and computer or to a dog?
uncertain circumstances? A: There’s a ceremonial aspect to this? It’s
E: Yeah, like health issues and…yeah. not just marriage figuratively speaking?
A: Ok. Have you ever heard about the E: I don’t know, it’s something I saw before
concept of sologamy? on Facebook, with a guy and, I don’t know,
E: The term I haven’t heard of it. But in publicly posting, he’s married to
Japan, there is a similar culture, the otaku something. So I don’t know about public
culture maybe? I haven’t heard of the term, ceremony, but it’s something publicly
but I can sort of guess what it means. declared in social media. I don’t know if
A: What do you think it means? that counts.
A: I suppose it can, yeah. I think I’ve seen A: Do you think…What do you think
this, married to a doll or something? So would happen to the first person do it here?
what do you think of it personally? Would E: I bet it will be announced on social
you do it? media, and, I don’t know, majority of the
E: It’s unnecessary, for people to know reaction would be bashing, that’s the
about it. But if…yeah, I don’t believe in the natural tendency of the Filipino, Filipinos
ceremony. Without the ceremony some nowadays to bash people, to have an
people just die alone anyway. So I don’t get opinion, to come up. I think that’s what
the…ah yeah, maybe for other people it’s would happen, and that’s as far as I can
important to self-declare, right, that this is a imagine it, so I don’t know, if it survives
choice, that I want my life to be … but to that, the initial social media reaction and
me I don’t think that’s necessary. become a sub-culture maybe it would have
A: Would you think it would have a place a chance of surviving and thriving in the
in the Philippines? Would it ever catch on? very far future. But now, it’s just bashing.
E: I don’t know, we don’t even have People won’t get it, I think.
divorce, so I don’t think we’ve A: What if it were someone famous or
progressed…I don’t know, it’s not for me influential did it first?
to judge… E: So, it’s the same. That person will still
A: Oh, it’s just your opinion. be bashed. As I said, that’s the general trend
E: how advanced a culture is, but if socially nowadays, just bash people. But if it’s, but
if there’s no consensus about divorce, I at the same time, if it’s some influential
don’t that’s something that will catch on. people, there’s a higher likelihood that that
A: So for you, accepting of that kind of person will have supporters who will
arrangement is a sign of a more advanced answer to the bashing, or will express
society? support to whatever the… who will express
E: Or um, yeah, I think so. Because support for that person. So maybe it…
accepting that, I don’t know, means A: Who do you think would be open to it?
preclusion of judgement that ok, this your E: Interesting question. Celebrities. People
choice, do that, I accept what you do, and I in literature maybe?
move on with my own life. I won’t have A: When you say celebrities, you mean?
opinions about your sologamy. So I think E: Actors, Actresses. Poets, writers.
that’s a more advanced way of thinking that People… for some reason, I think they
being in other people’s business. would be people on the creative…how do
you say it? People who are highly artistic
and vocal about, I don’t know, highly that’s just an excuse for being, self-
artistic and passionate and terribly lonely. centered, I mean, I don’t know.
And passionate… A: Actually, that’s all I needed to ask,
A: By the way, sologamy does not preclude unless you had anything else to add.
you from having a relationship. E: Don’t use my full name in the study. Use
E: Like what, like a fling type of either a first or last, or give me a code name
relationship? or a different name, or an alias.
A: Not necessarily. I think it’s still possible A: Thank you very much.
to have a long-term relationship, the point E: I hope it helps. You’re welcome.
being is just that…It’s an outright statement
that the focus in on the self still. RESPONDENT: AN1
E: In that case it’s like having the best of Name: Vianca Angelica Vidallon
both worlds. I focus on myself, at the same Age: 23 y/o
time, if someone comes along, oh maybe Occupation: Account Manager in an ICT
I’ll give it a try. If it works then it’s ok, and Company (Sales)
if it doesn’t, I have a justification for you, I Religion: Catholic (Practicing)
told you I focus on myself, so what did you Sexual Orientation: Straight
expect from me. So….
A: So, in that light, you’ll still have the 1. Why are you single / Why do you think
same answer. you are single?
E: Yeah, I think so. Especially if explained
in that way. I didn’t think that actually, V: I think kaya ako single siguro nung
earlier. I thought it’s a commitment to the college din not really my priority. I am
self, and it’s it would be someone who had happy with my friends.. with the company
given up on relationships. It’s at that of my friends so parang di ko nakikita yung
point… so I failed in all my relationships, sarili ko na may someone, may ka-date.
so from hereon I declare that you know… I Well, minsan parang ano lang, more on
thought that’s sologamy, but if that’s not siguro dating or fling pero hindi ko pa
the case, well that person who will first do priority yung talagang may boyfriend.
it will get even more bashed, I think. If you
explain, no actually, this does not mean that Ngayon, well, since nagwowork and I think
I’ll not get married, there’s no chance that kahit papano may time, mejo looking
I’ll have a girlfriend. So that will, I think, forwad (to having a relationship) pero
encourage even more bashing…because
masaya pa din naman ako sa life ko na V: Maybe to others hindi nila
ganito, as single, ayun parang more on icoconsider… Yung puppy love
adventure with friends, hangout ganun, icoconsider natin yun?
parang no pressure naman with life.
A: Your own definition or consideration as
A: Ngayon part na ba siya ng priority mo a relationship.
ngayong working ka na and may time ka na
to look for relationship? V: During highschool, first year yun, I
think nagstart siya as crush, then naging
V: Actually may friend ako na nagtanong crush din ako ni crush, so nangyari is
sa akin kung ano ba yung timeline ko para nagging kami, mutual crush. Nagligawan
makaroon ng anak or asawa. Sabi ko by the ng konting days tapos ayun, a month lang
age of 28 sana horpefully meron. So kung din. Pero kung titignan mo parang di siya
tutuusin parang 5 years na lang, so mejo talaga relationship, parang puppy love lang
hindi naman priority pero actively looking. siya. Hindi siya serious relationship.
Syempre kailangan lagyan ng konting spice
yung buhay natin. Yung timeline ng buhay A: So you’ve never been in a serious
mo. relationship.
A: What are you doing when you ae
actively looking (for relationship)? V: Yun na nga, NBSB.
V: I am using dating apps. Pero for now 3. Have you ever heard about Sologamy?
wala pang namimeet. Prospects pa lang.
V: I have heard about the word sologamy.
2. Have you ever been in a relationship In fact, my friend introduced me to this
or term, it says that sologamy is about marring
involved in a relationship before? oneself.
V: Ano bang definition dapat ng A: It’s true in fact, we are going with the
relationship, as in dapa official siya concept that sologamy is marrying oneself
with parents? as in through a ceremonial marriage and
notwithstanding its legal implication.
A: I mean romantic relationship. Because sologamy is not legally binding,
it’s more on the ceremony, well literally V: Okay lang naman siya. It depends on the
marrying oneself. person. Oo, ganun.
4. How do you feel about the idea of

sologamy? 5. Do you think the notion of sologamy
will work in the Filipino setting?
V: I think there is nothing wrong about V: No, I don’t think it could work on the
marrying oneself. Kasi parang it’s just a Filipino setting. Kasi Filipinos, they want to
term, parang ano lang siya, more of loving be loved so mas gugustuhin nila na
yourself more siguro ganun. Ganun yung makahanap ng partner. Partner, as in asawa,
concept ko in mind ng sologamy. kung ano man siya, if ever bisexual man
siya, or opposite sex basta in the Philippines
A: So more of a self-love? I think, hindi magwowork yung sologamy.
I think ano din e, yung sa culture din.
V: Priority mo yung self mo than the others.
A: What do you mean sa culture?
A: If you are given a chance, would you
actually do that? V: Today kasi parang yung mga tao it’s
either kung priority mo yung caeer, career
V: Mejo hard yung question nay an. Well, ka lang muna, the once nakapag-settle ka na
there’s no need for me to marry myself. then that’s the time na pwede ka na
Feeling ko nagsstart yan sa sarili mon a maghanap ng partner, ganun.
value yourself, then once you value
yourself then other people will see you na A: You don’t think it will work, or di siya
‘o, she values herself’ so parang mas, you magttrending sa Philippines? But they’re
can attract more people. not really closed to dating other people,
hindi siya mag-isa lang ako forever kasi
A: So kung ikaw yung tatanungin, hindi mo pinakasalan ko na yung sarili ko e. Some of
gagawin yung sologamy? them are actually actively looking for
partners. Sa ganung notion, do you still
V: Hind ko gagawin yung sologamy. think (that sologomay will not work in the
Filipino setting? I have to clarify, na yung
A: But the idea for you is okay? sologamy, it doesn’t mean na single ka na
for life. Because you love yourself, you’re you’re aiming for a relationship that is
prioritizing yourself. ideal, I think yan yung nagiging mahirap
and ko yung type ng person na idealistic.
V: I don’t think so, I think hindi pa din e. Parang it’s this (type of relationship), or
Kasi yung country natin ano pa rin, not.
conservative nga, yung sabi mo. Parang ang
boys, ang men and women ay meant for A: So you think you are single right now
each other. Di ba hindi pa nga approved because of your standards?
yung ano e, yung same sex marriage, what
more yung marrying oneself? K: Oo, standards.. Ideals… Kasabay ng the
person na nagiging object.. hindi naman
RESPONDENT AN2 object.. person of attraction ko is hindi rin
Name: Kevin Brandon Saure interested. I think kailangan ko rin i-share
Age: 25 y/o na ako, may attraction ako sa straight
Occupation: Writer, Journalist (UP person (?), so that alone, it makes it difficult
Information Office); Assistant to the or impossible at times to be in a
director relationship. Ideal ko ay straight, therefore
Religion: hindi siya mag-e-engage sag anon so alam
Sexual Orientation: Gay mo yun? Impossible dream, parang ganun.
Kasi if I know that that person is not
1. Why do you think you are single? straight, parang nababawasan na yung
attraction ko, hindi na siya ideal for me is
K: Siguro, it’s a lot of things. Personally, I very complicated.
want to be in a relationship pero there are
times that I think hindi siya right time. Or 2. Have you ever been in a relationship
it’s mostly one-sided. Yan yung experience or involved in a relationship before?
e. Although I believe na sa nakikita ko
naman sa nangyayari sa paligid, it’s K: No. To be honest, I had.. hindi siya
possible to have a relationship if you want relationship na I mean…. not even mutual.
it. Parang… Pero may kapalit yun e, like Sabihin na natin na I have an attraction to
ite-trade of mo yung mga ideals mo, parang this person, attracted ako sa kanya, I
ideal type, for the sake of being in a provide things, tapos at the same time
relationship. You can get that easily. Pero if andyan yung company niya for me.
Ok magshe-share ako ng experience, namang makuha yun. Yung commitment
kunwari, I have this guy na straight siya, so pwede ko naman makuha yun. Pero hindi
like ko siya and alam niya yon and all that, ko na ine-aim yung as in consummate
as a trade-off na lagi niya kong ganon, parang siguro dahil na rin sa mga
sinasamahan, lagi niya kong kino-comfort pinagdaanan na parang puro failure sa
pag may problema is that hine-help ko siya relationship, sa attempt na magkaroon ng
sa school, if kunwari financial, kasi student, relationship. Parang ako, ayoko na.
so ayun ganun. Pero I don’t think it’s
mutual. Ako, attracted ako sa kanya pero A: When you heard about sologamy, the
I’m contented with the set-up. term itself, ano yung naisip mong ibig
sabihin niya?
Hind siya romantic relationship. K: Syempre yung sologamy.. syempre solo
and gamy, parang single and marriage, pero
3. Have you ever heard about the term hindi ko alam na siya yung idea ay, yung
sologamy? idea niya is parang marrying yourself. Pero
may idea na ko kasi na-contrast ko na siya
K: Actually, when you approached me, with, syempre monogamy, there’s
that’s the first time that I heard about monogamy and there’s sologamy.
sologamy.
4. How do you feel about the idea of
A: Ano yung impression mo when you hear sologamy?
the word sologamy?
K: Yung idea na you commit to yourself is
K: Actually to be honest na-ano ako e, something na I’ve always been positive
sobrang interested ako at na-excite. I don’t about. Yeah, you can commit to yourself, I
know. Hindi naman na-excite exactly pero mean you can put yourself above anyone
parang may light bulb sa kin kasi uhm prior else, I mean in a sense na yung pinaka-
to our discussion about it, parang malaking value na binibigay mo ay sa sarili
napapaisip na ako na parang ayoko naman, mo at hind sa.. it’s not being selfish para sa
ayoko naman to be in a lifelong akin. It’s about hmmm kumbaga hindi siya
commitment. Parang I can be on my own, about being selfish kundi yung idea na
ganon. Pero I can enjoy parang kumbaga hindi mo icocompromse yung mga bagay
yung facets of what is called love. Di ba na nagpapasaya sayo, or makes you feel
merong passion sabihin na natin. Pwede ko complete. You can be complete knowing na
you know your value. Parang yan yung A: So you don’t na the idea itself is
tingin ko. exaggerated, over-reaction?
Actually share ko lang kanina ate, dun sa K: Well katulad nga nung nasabi ko kanina,
office nakwento ko nga na a, 3pm meron ganun yung initial reaction ng mga
akong interview about sologamy, tapos officemates ko pero parang at some point in
‘sologamy?!’ ganun sila, mejo may edad our lives, we tell ourselves to value
sila e mga 40’s-50’s, na-shookt sila sa idea, ourselves di ba parang it’s a form of doing
(Q: Na papakasalan mo yung sarili mo?) that. Actually, performing that belief na you
Oo. Tapos nung sinabi ko sa kanila, ang should value yourself. So.. ayun I don’t
sologamy kasi by definition sa mga think it’s a problem. It’s not bad for people
nababasa ko is basically kasi parang to put a premium on their lives.
marrying yourself parang ganun. Tapos
sabi nila ‘huh? Ano ba yan parang panggulo 5. Do you think that sologamy will work
lang yan’ tapos sabi ko ‘wait lang baka in a Filipino setting?
naman may merits’ kasi personally hindi pa
ako familiar pero hindi sarado yung isip ko K: Well, of course anjan lagi yung
dun sa idea. Sabi nila ‘okay, okay sige influence ng religions. I think then kasi
pagbalik mo balitaan mo kami’ sabi nila. parang yung kanina, it’s their religious-self
Sabi ko ‘o sige sige.’ speaking sa tingin ko kasi wala yan sa,
syempre wala yan sa bible or wala yan sa
A: To clarify if you marry yourself, if you teachings tapos the same time wala pa
practiced sologamy, it doesn’t mean na naman legal na, well for the Philippines
you’re closed to having a relationship. wala pa naman legal basis. So.. It’s a
personal thing e, kaya… kaya ako open sa
K: Like I said nga kanina, I put myself kanya kasi it’s a personal thing, it’s a
above the ibang bagay pero I can enjoy personal choice, na it doesn’t trample on
facets of.. ano yung traditional or ano ba, others’ rights or parang it doesn’t destroy
parang yun kino-consider ng tao na parang monogamy or polygamy for that matter. It’s
normal na romantic relationship. Parang a personal choice. I think people are just…
pwede akong mag-enjoy ng pieces of it Some people think so na na-disrupt yung,
pero I’ll never commit totally. kasi they don’t go beyond themselves na..
kung fan ka ng monogamy naman I think
hindi ka dapat, kung fan ka ng monogamy
hindi ka dapat exclusive na maging At the same time I think yung sensitivity na
supportive ka rin sa sologamy kasi it’s the rin sa personal choices ng mga tao hindi pa,
choice of some people and yon you cannot parang there’s still this trend of imposing
impose your values. your value. Parang ‘because this is my
belief, this is my values, you should have
A: So you think na sa Filipino setting… this kind of values..’
K: Sa tingin ko masalimuot siya e sa A: May imposition of beliefs…

ngayon problematic. Sa tingin ko naman
any thing na kino-consider na pagbabago is K: Na na-underpinned by religion, culture,
initially may shock factor. ethic.. ethnicity yun. Age then like kanina
mga may edad. Sa tingin ko they say that
A: What do you think are those factors why it’s a millennial thing tapos madaming
ma-sh-shock ang mga Filipinos sa tumitingin sa mga millennial thing as ano
sologamy degredation of culture, mga ganun. Dami,
daming ganyan. So yun I think masalimuot
K: Like I said anjan yung religion, siya. (Q: proseso?) Kung na-proseso. (Q: If
pangalawa is I don’t think hindi tayo ganun you try to integrate it in the Filipino
ka-educated with regards to gender and setting?) Oo, ibang level pa siya if sa legal
sensitivity. I mean some people are thing, ibang hayop nanaman yun. Sa
educated about gender and sexuality but cultural na leve I think mahirap na.
most of these nangyayari sa tertiary level or
actually hindi din naman lahat ng tertiary RESPONDENT: AY1
institutions nag-o-offer ng ganun or ng The interview happened last April 6, 2018
magandang training for that. Miseducated if 7:31a.m.
not, poorly-educated tayo sa aspektong A – Aya (Interviewer)
yun. Kasi I think it’s a matter of ano e, K – Kevin, Male, 24y.o. (Informant)
sexuality ano e.. sexuality and gender.. kasi
marami pa ring tao yung nakukulong sa A: Hi! Anong pangalan mo?
idea na dapat ang mag-me-marry man and K: Kevin.
woman so ganun. Shookt na sila sa idea ng A: Ilang taon ka na?
man-and-man or woman-and-woman K: 24.
marrying. Mas ma-sh-shookt pa sila sa idea A: Single ka ba?
ng marrying ourself. Parang ganun so ayun.
K: Oo. RESPONDENT: AY2
A: Bakit ka single? The interview happened last April 6, 2018
K: By choice. 7:47a.m.
A: Pero nagkaroon ka na ng A – Aya (Interviewer)
relationship dati? B – Beth, Female, 34y.o. (Informant)
K: Nagkaroon naman.
A: Ah, yung last relationship mo, A: Hi! Anong pangalan mo?
gaano katagal? B: Beth.
K: 9 to 10 months ‘ata. A: Ilang taon ka na?
A: Hmmm…narinig mo na ba yung B: 34.
sologamy? A: Single ka ba?
K: Hindi pa. Anong ibig sabihin nu’n? B: Single.
A: Yung sologamy, ano ‘yun, act of A: Bakit ka single?
marrying yourself through a B: Una, by choice. Pangalawa,
ceremony. Sa tingin mo, anong responsibility.
feeling nung narinig mo yung A: Ah, pero nagkaroon ka na ng
meaning ng sologamy? relationship?
K: Parang, parang ang weird nung B: Matagal na, mga ilang ilang taon na.
sologamy. Parang magpapakasal ka A: Gaano katagal yung relationship mo
sa sarili mo. na yun?
A: Sa tingin mo magwo-work bay un B: Ano lang, 3 months lang kasi
sa Philippine setting? pinagpalit ako eh! Haha!
K: Parang hindi, parang hindi ko A: Haha! Ah, narinig mo na ba yung
nakikita kasi ang Pinoy kasi sologamy?
masyadong romantic. Kahit yung B: Ano, hindi.
mga single hopeless romantic pa rin A: Ah, yung sologamy, act of marrying
sila. Kaya parang hindi s’ya magki- yourself through a ceremony,
click o magbu-boom sa ano parang pinpakasalan mo yung sarili
Philippine setting. mo.
A: Okay, sige, thank you! Nu’ng narinig mo yung idea ng
sologamy, anong nafeel mo?
B: Parang maganda rin s’ya kasi
you’re loving yourself.
A: Sa tingin mo ba sa Philippine setting Anniversary this September hahah
magwo-work yung sologamy?  anyway, it is because it’s not yet
B: Hindi. my time. I waited and dated several
A: Bakit? friends, some were strangers haha,
B: Kasi meron tayong, ano kailangan fell in love with my closest friends,
magpakasal ka, ang pakakasalan mo workmate, but still end up in an
talaga guy hindi yung sarili mo unrequited kind of love
lang. Tapos talagang tayo, gusto relationship. I asked not just myself
nating magkaroon ng pamilya, ako but also my friends this question, I
kahit ano, gusto ko rin magkaroon even came up to the point that I
ng pamilya. doubted myself that there’s
A: Pero sa ngayon mas nakikita mo something wrong with me, am I not
yung sarili mo… worthy to be loved? Am I not
enough? (To share with you also,
B: Sa ngayon, mas nakikita ko, kasi during simbang gabi kasi may
nga di ba parang ngayon ko lang din kasabihan na once you were able to
naalala na kailangan mong mahalin complete the 9 nights, your wish
yung sarili mo, kung kelan ako will come true, each year I always
tumanda. Haha! pray for other things, the good of my
A: Sige, thank you! family, but last 2016, I was able to
dedicate my wish for my lovelife
RESPONDENT: C1 since everything I wanted were
Informant's profile: already in place that time, BUUUT,
Name: Anonymous unfortunately, we had a meeting in
Sex: Male Makati and I was not able to attend
Age: 24 the 7th ata na mass, edi di ko na rin
Job Position: Jr. Marketing Supervisor siya nakumpleto. Hahaha)
Nevertheless, the answers to these
1. Why are you single? (hahaha) questions came up unexpectedly…I
 If there’s one thing that I can justify realized that I am too blessed na so
why I’m still single…take note, far in terms of my professional life,
since birth, actually I’ll be my social life, family that I would
celebrating my Silver Singleness always wanted to be okay were
already given to me. I have
supportive friends that I can run to. self-love and compassion through a self-
I have everything I need at this marriage/wedding-like ceremony.)
moment, and I am so much grateful  I encountered the term before, but
to Papa God…if there’s one thing what I understand was its just a
na rin siguro na wala ako status like “single blessedness”
is…TIME. It may sound naïve, but hahaha. But I searched this term
time is really a great factor to only after I read this question.
consider, some of my friends told I
should find time to mingle (out from 4. Are you open with this kind of setup
my usual corners), but due to the (sologamy)? Why or why not?
toxicity of my work schedule and  No. Even I end up being single, I
grad school classes, my hands are can still commit or value myself to
tied. Resulting that I can’t totally consistently make my life worthy to
explore or rather improve myself to live for without having officiated a
be much more worthy to be loved. formal ceremony/sologamy.
For now, instead of finding the right
one, I’ll just be that right person for 5. Do you think the notion of sologamy
someone; an answered prayer for will work in the Filipino setting? Why or
that person. why not?
 I am uncertain on this, Filipinos are
2. Have you ever been involved in a judgmental, most of the people who
relationship before? would want this might think of what
 Relationship is broad term to others might say to them. Like they
consider, I’ve always been in a might be accused of being
unrequited kind of love “nababaliw” na. But it depends,
relationship; The farthest was M.U. some might be “keber” lang and
(mutual understanding) with my find their validation of their worth
first love (female). But if you are thru this ceremony. Since it’s not
referring to an official relationship, govern by law, I think this would be
I can proudly say that I am single much more be taken openly by
since birth. Hahaha. people. But in case I or someone do
this, are they not allowed to be in a
3. Have you heard about sologamy? If relationship anymore?
no, sologamy is giving commitment to
RESPONDENT: C2 either leave because they are from another
Informant's Profile: country or they are in a complicated
Sex: Male relationship.
Age: 23
Career background: works in the 2. Have you ever been involved in a
government relationship before?
No, I have never been in a relationship. I
1. Why are you single? tried dating and even did things that a
I also question myself that. (HAHAHHA) person in a relationship would do but it was
There are different reasons why. First, I not official.
wish to focus on my career and develop my
personal life experiences without the 3. Have you heard about sologamy?
involvement/intervention by anyone. Nope, not familiar with the terminology.
Second, I think I was influenced by the
experiences of the people around me. My If no, sologamy is giving commitment to
friends and my siblings, for example. They self-love and compassion through a self-
have been in different relationships and I marriage/wedding-like ceremony.)
was able to observe how they experienced
the ups and downs of being in a I have read news online about this.
relationship. It was enough for me at that However I don't think that there is any legal
time to know how it is to be in a bearing to it. Perhaps only on papers or
relationship. Third, it is connected to my documentation.
first statement, I have not found myself and
I have not figured out what I want in a 4. Are you open with this kind of setup
relationship or how to be in one. There is a (sologamy)? Why or why not?
fear that my invested time , feelings, Yes, I think that people can do whatever
emotions, and so on might not be they want with their lives. They may wish
reciprocated or might just go to waste. to even get married to a tree. Whatever
Perhaps to put it in a simple context, I don't makes people happy and not affect anyone
want disappointments. Fourth, I have not in the process would be an ideal set up.
found the person that would fit with my Also, as mentioned, I don't think that there
preference and also given the timing. is a legal bearing that would acknowledge
People that I meet, or we could say date, the ceremony or practice. It is a belief that
people should respect. As an individual, we old, Associate Producer of the DOSTv
have the right how we want to live our lives. Science for the People
5. Do you think the notion of sologamy I1: Hi! I am Cady Perez, a Philippine
will work in the Filipino setting? Why or Culture and Society graduate from UP
why not? Diliman. Pwede ko bang malaman name,
I think that it is already present in the age, and profession mo?
Philippine setting but Filipinos just does not I2: I’m Beejay Castillo, 23, Philippines!
have the proper and general terminology for Info Officer III of DOST Sci and Tech Info
it. In fact, the practice/situation is perceived Institute. Basically I am the associate
as negative especially for women where producer of DOSTv Science for the People.
filipinos call them "matandang I1: Hahaha thank you! Your insight will be
dalaga/binata" or "napag-iwanan". The very helpful in our study. if I may ask, what
term sologamy has given it a more positive is your relationship status? Are you in a
image-maybe it's because it's a western romantic relationship at the moment?
terminology? Going back to the question at I2: Dating hahaha. I am dating a guy for
hand, I believe it is something that can be two weeks now, pero wala kaming label.
adopted and combined with the existing fling. Tulad ng mga nakalipas.
practice of the Filipinos. As for 'why', well I1: Okay, so can you still consider yourself
Filipinos have the tendency to just embrace single? Hahaha ayan tayo.
any western idea since it gives the situation I2: Oo naman. I am not ready to be in a
a better explanation. Religion for example, relationship.
we already have an existing religion I1: Were you involved in a romantic
however when the Spanish colonized us relationship before?
and introduced Christianity, they gave us a I2: Shit di ko alam! can you define
better understanding of our religion where romantic relationship? If it has something
they incorporated images, text etc. giving with label, wala pa.
the situation a better explanation. I1: Oo, with label siguro or doing things
that couples do with someone. Haha
RESPONDENT: CA1 mahirap nga i-design pero it’s okay hahaha
Interviewer (I1): Cady Lene Perez this case, official relationship. Uhmmm…
Interviewee (I2): Beejay Castillo, 23 years may idea ka ba about sologamy? Okay lang
naman kung wala pa.
I2: Wala. Nakakain ba yon? Bat parang acceptance, bakit kailangan mo mag-show
nasa Japanese menu yan. off sa mga tao through a ceremony?
I1: Hahaha eto na. Okay. Meron kasing I1: Go lang if may gusto ka pang idagdag
“nauuso” (does the hand sign for quotation na thoughts on this. Keep them coming.
marks) na sologamy. Mostly nangyayari sa Pero sa tingin mo ba, the notion of
ibang bansa tulad ng Japan. May mga single sologamy will work in the Philippine
adults na pinapakasalan yung sarili nila. As setting?
in may actual wedding ceremony pero I2: I think pampam lang yung mga nagga-
walang partner as they marry themselves ganyan hahaha. Or dahil siguro kakaiba
according sa kanila. Meron ding wedding lang talaga kultura ng Japan when it comes
guests ganon. Pero hindi naman ito to relationships. kasi diba the marry anime
recognized by law so pwede pa rin characters din? tayong mga Pinoy, we have
magpakasal after kung gugustuhin nila. different concept about relationship. It’s
Sabi nila, ginagawa raw nila ito for self- deeper than those examples.
acceptance at pwede ring pag-embrace ng I1: Meron din sa mga Western countries
singlehood. Anong masasabi mo rito? like US.
I2: Hmmm hindi ba siya personality I2: Hindi siya applicable simply because:
disorder? I mean wala bang study na 1) economic; 2) delicadeza; 3) malalandi
nagpakita kung may commonality sa ang mga pinoy. We can find way para may
personalities ng mga ito? I don’t think it is makalandian lol.
logical to marry yourself. For what? Sayo I1: May babae na pinakasalan sarili niya on
lang ang properties mo. Wala kang her birthday. Meron ding instance na
additional rights na makukuha. pinakasalan self niya tas she went on dates
I1: Sa ngayon wala pa namang literature on after where she explains sa mga ka-date
that. Parang more on symbolical union siya niya yung sologamy. Very well-said point
with the self. Kumbaga, cini-claim nila na hahaha. sa trend among many millennials
parang embrace of singlehood and self- na pagpa-priority sa career, sa tingin mo ba
acceptance siya with ceremony. Hindi rin may chance na makapasok ito as trend as
pala ito recognized by the law so walang Pilipinas?
legal bearing at pwede pa rin sila I2: Hindi. Hahaha. Considering the
magpakasal in the future if gugustuhin nila. stereotyped definition of Filipino
Ayun. millennial, ang layo na sa katotohanan ng
I2: You can embrace singlehood without pagiging teknikal ng single. May way
announcing it naman. Kung self- tayong lahat para lumandi. Bakit mo
papakasalan sarili mo kung happy ka sa I1: It’s your opinion naman.
TxF? I2: We all have our own calling pagdating
I1: Hahaha kahit medyo obvious ang sagot sa relasyon. Kung manika nga
mo, may I ask pa rin kung do you see napapakasalan, sarili mo pa kaya.
yourself engaging in sologamy at any point I1: Yes hahaha. Anything else? Very
in the future? insightful as very firm ang stand mo on the
I2: Hindi talaga. Pagtatawanan ako matter.
hahahaha. So pag lalakad ako sa altar, Love I2: Kaya sige go lang. Pero hindi talaga. Di
Yourself ang kanta? Tapos ang ko keri makita friends ko marrying
honeymoon, finger yourself? themselves. Jusko, sacy.
I1: Hahaha I understand. Hahaha I1: Grabe hahaha. Parang hindi ba handa
nakakaloka. Halimbawa, may kamag-anak ang pilipinas ganon o unacceptable talaga
o kaibigan ka na mage-engage in sologamy, as in?
anong mapapayo mo? I2: And ang pinakapoint ko talaga is, Pinoy
I2: I think waste siya sa time, money, and millennials are all malandi so ang layo
kahihiyan. Kung trip nila, go lang. Hindi niyan sa katotohanan sa Pilipinas unless
naman ako tututol. Naniniwala naman kasi may isang sikat na personality na nagsimula
ako sa single blessedness. Pero para bigyan niyan. magsusunuran ang mga broken
mo pa ng seremonyas, parang hindi na kuno. Single blessedness is okay.
naging genuine yung meaning nun. Sologamy is not. Hahaha
I1: Continue lang. I1: Huy magandang point yang impact ng
I2: Pero kung may pa-seremonyas si friend, opinion leader on it being acceptable. Huy
aba punta ko. Support. Mamaya may you may opt to end this conversation
cordon bleu sa reception, edi bongga. anytime you want ha.
I1: That was the last of my question, I2: Last words ko nay un hahaha! Wala
Beejay. May gusto ka pa bang idagdag or akong kwentang informant lol
may thoughts ka pa ba on Sologamy and/or I1: Thank you so much, Beejay! Should we
it happening in the Philippine setting? Okay conceal your name sa writeup?
lang din kung wala na ha. Hahaha. I2: Keri lang. What’s so precious about my
I2: Hindi ko alam kung naging insensitive name anyway? Hahaha
ako nung sinabi kong kalokohan ang I1: Hahaha noted. Maraming salamat sa
sologamy but I still think kalokohan siya. oras, Beejay! mabuhay ang mga single
Pero the decision naman lies on the person hahaha
so go lang.
I2: I’m always like that naman… Straight pero walang partner kasi sabi nila, they
pagdating sa opinion, pero hindi straight marry themselves. Meron ding wedding
pagdating sa orientation. Hahaha! guests. However, hindi ito recognized by
law so pwede pa rin magpakasal after kung
*END gugustuhin nila.
I2: Wow.
RESPONDENT: CA2 I1: According to them, they do this para sa
Interviewer (I1): Cady Lene Perez kanilang self-acceptance at pag-embrace ng
Interviewee (I2): Kamille Chua, 20 years singlehood. Anong masasabi mo rito?
old, Data Science Executive I2: Ah, I think it is important to accept
I1: Hi, I’m Cady! We’re doing a research naman yourself and to learn to be
on the perception of single Filipino independent in life. Seeing and believing in
professionals on the concept of sologamy. your self-worth is one of the best things in
We may conceal your identity for privacy if life. But I do not see the need to actually
that’s what you prefer. Do you label “marry” yourself. I mean, you are meant to
yourself as single? Are you married or be with yourself your whole life na naman,
involved in any romantic relationship? no need to prove anything. And I think there
I2: Okay. are other ways more fulfilling and more
*brief silence* practical ways to show na you love yourself
I1: That’s the first question huy hahaha that much. Your life is a commitment to
I2: Yes, I do label myself as single. Hahaha yourself already. Forever. I think actually
I1: Have you ever been involved in a marrying yourself is not needed na.
romantic relationship before? I1: Okay, wow. Is there anything more
I2: Yes, I am a whore. Hahaha charot. Yes. you’d like to add?
Okay, yes. I’ve been involved before. I2: That’s just a waste of time. And I also
I1: Have you heard about Sologamy? Okay think na you gotta be kidding me, marrying
lang kung hindi pa. yourself is redundant. As if you have a
I2: Yes, but I’ve never thought of labelling choice.
myself in that way before. I1: Sop does this mean or is it safe to safe
I1: Okay. Meron kasing sologamy. that at any point, you do not see yourself
Nangyayari sa ibang bansa like Japan. May doing it?
mga single adults na pinapakasalan yung I2: Yes.
sarili nila. May actual wedding ceremony I1: Okay, thank you for the honest answer.
Do you think the notion of sologamy will
work in the Philippine setting? Why or why I2: Thank you so much. Twenty years old.
not? Data Science Exec.
I2: No. Filipinos are vain but not vain I1: Thank you so much, Kamille! Have a
enough to do something crazy like that. great day!
And it’s impractical. I also think that we
have this certain need to build a family, RESPONDENT: D1
attach ourselves to relationships. Transcription: Interview on Sologamy
I1: I see. Anything you want to add? Okay Interviewer: Dan Joshua Valenton
lang naman if that’s all. Respondent: Zeus Joseph Ebora
I2: That’s all. Hahaha
I1: Kung sakaling may friend o family I: Your input [on this interview] is
member ka na nag-iisip na mag-engage in very important because this will be
sologamy, may mapapayo ka ba sa kaniya? transcribed for our research about
With all your insights on the idea of it both sologamy. This will be recorded and
personally tsaka culturally. if I may ask, would you want your
I2: Uh, don’t. I don’t really see the need eh. name be concealed or not?
Both nay un. R: It’s okay, I am proud. Show to
I1: last question po. everyone. [Laughs]
I2: Yes po. And marriage kasi union diba. I: I am interviewing you because it is
So mawawalan ng sense if sa sarili. assumed [or in my knowledge] you
Hahaha. are a single… so single ka nga ba?
I1: Given the growing trend among Filipino R: Technically I am single, but I am
millenials who prioritize career over dating but someone, but the person
relationships, do you think there will come I am dating just ended his
a time na mauuso rin ang sologamy sa relationship with his girlfriend. For
Pilipinas? the longest time, I am single.
I2: Nope. We are really dependent on each I: Have you ever been involved in a
other eh. relationship before?
I1: I see. may gusto pa ppo ba kayong R: I had a boyfriend, one serious
idagdag? relationship with a guy. We broke
I2: Hahaha wala na. up in 2016 so I can focus on my
I1: Okay, thank you so much Kamille for thesis.
your insights. Ilang taon ka nap ala and
what is your profession?
I: Well, dahil sa thesis kaya mo siya R: You will marry yourself…
brineak? celebrate? Ah okay. I’ve watched
R: Ahh, during that time, I need to Glee before, then there’s one
leave Los Banos. I don’t actually episode that the antagonist of the
believe in long distance main character married herself
relationship, because I think it because he cannot find eligible
would be detrimental for him if I bachelors for her. But marrying
leave and we’re still connected but I yourself is like a testimony that
cannot provide time, so I’m just all you’ve arrived at a point that you
thinking about his academics and really legitimize that you really just
all. love yourself above all and others;
I: So can’t you just give him a virtual and that you really acknowledge
hug or virtual kisses? that you are independent person;
R: Well, relationship is a commitment and you are in love in the essence of
that’s more than the virtual things being independent, being alone, but
that you can offer. not really sad, but mostly strong to
I: Have you heard about the term conquer things and to be more
“sologamy”? flexible, I think.
R: I have an idea about sologamy, but I: Pero isn’t it controversial to marry
it’s a very new concept, although I by yourself? Is it necessary?
think we’ve all been there, like the R: I guess in the Western context, I
idea of just being by yourself[?]. It’s think it’s more acceptable.
like marry? However, in the Philippines, it’s a
I: Yeah[?] but the sologamy is a very conservative country where
commitment. It’s a commitment people put importance to family;
that you really marry yourself for like they value marriage more, like
the rest of your life. couples, and not being yourself.
R: Oh, that’s sologamy. Do I need to And people will encourage you to
provide my thoughts about like, pakasalan yung jowa mo or
sologamy? ganyan, humanap ka ng jowa. I
I: Yeah, so how do you feel about the mean, there will be relatives who
idea of that, you know… there’s a will actually look for eligible
celebration… bachelor/rette for you, just so you
can like start your family. People in
the Philippines have this notion that I: Isn’t it sologamy is just like an
your life will be complete if your external validation? Like you’re
genealogy or like your family tree gonna marry by yourself, show to
will grow and have own line of your the world that you are alone, and I
descendants, however I think can celebrate by myself?
marrying yourself is just loving R: You know, it’s a counternarrative
yourself to the fullest, like being on the prevailing structure of
able to give all of those time for marriage. Like sociologically
yourself to achieve your ultimate speaking, marriage is already an
dreams, ultimate goals. I think institution. It is coercive for people.
people who are career-oriented and I think having sologamy is just like
achievers are most likely to marry showing another way of life,
themselves or being single for a breaking and establishing new
very long time because they will norms for people who want to
really focus on their career, on pursue for themselves and pursue
masters, PhD etc. You wouldn’t do career and a lot of things for
those amazing things if you are tied themselves.
down to your children or with your I: Last question, do you think the
love life. And being in a notion of sologamy will work in the
commitment is actually going to Filipino setting?
take a large portion of your time. R: I don’t think it’s going to work,
But then it’s very different, because honestly. Because the Philippines
in the Philippines, you are really for the longest time is very familial
compelled to marry someone and and very traditional. The structure
the idea of love is really in our society is not gonna change
romanticized so regardless if you’re for the long time. Well, sologamy,
really an achiever… there will be a population who will
I: So you cannot romanticize by pursue sologamy, but they will only
yourself? be a small portion of the PH
R: Well, in the PH yes. It isn’t population cause, andami nating
acceptable, not promoted. minamanang inter-generational
Sologamy is a really new thing for problems and part of it is kung
all of us. compelled kang magpakasal at
magkaroon ng anak. And the
structure already, for the longest RESPONDENT: D2
time like until 2020, 2030, 2050, I Transcription: Interview on Sologamy
think it’s still going to be the same Interviewer: Dan Joshua Valenton
thing. Respondent: Ariel Joseph
I: So, generally you mean, it is still
unacceptable for the Filipinos? I: This is an interview about
R: Generally, yes. And I think it is also sologamy, can you introduce
tied with other factors like, yourself?
economic factor. I mean, people R: Hello, Ariel Gonzalez, 22, working
who can pursue, they are at the DICT.
independent, educated people of the I: So the topic that we’re gonna talk
higher class, because it’s like they about is “sologamy”. Have you
have the independent thinking, heard about sologamy? Or do you
unlike people belonging from the have an idea about sologamy?
lower class, I think, they are R: The term sologamy is something
compelled to marry people because new to me. I just learned about it
they like need to combine the when you briefed me, but the
wealth of their families. Like in concept of it is quite familiar with
Indoesia, may ganun kasi e. You me. [Bakit nga ba ako nag-e-
combine wealth of family to English? (laughs)]. Hmmm. Yung
survive. Also, sociodemographic konsepto naman ay yung parang
factors, I think, pwede rin siyang you focus on yourself or you enter
tignan to determine if person, will in a relationship with yourself[?]
most likely person marriage. And Kasi parang may nakikita akong
also part of it, is where do you live? headlines yata yun sa South Korea
Rural area or urban area? Because if na nagpreprefer na maging single.
you live in rural area, nakatadhana I: So ano yung take mo with this kind
na yan na magpapakasal ka at of thing… or the concept itself?
mapipilitan kang magkaroon ng R: Feeling ko nga yun yung first step
anak kahit hindi ka kasal, but if sa in entering into a relationship e.
urban area ka, you have the Yung dapat buo ka na sa sarili mo.
independence sa mga social Yung parang sa sologamy parang
structures nay un somehow so yun. you define yourself[?] Yung parang
you accept who you are [?] and you the socioeconomic condition isn’t
love yourself, yun. the same as it is before.
I: Yeah, but the concept itself, I: Can you elaborate?
sologamy is being single for the rest R: Ahmm. Pwede kaya nating sabihin
of your life, yeah like na nagiging competitive na ang tao
singleblessedness thing talaga. ngayon; or mataas ang
R: Baka calling mo na yan, dba? Yung employement rate. So people would
sabi nga nila… baka calling mo na be more career oriented than before,
yan. Hmmm. Feeling ko parang also self-enrichment muna siguro.
ahm, depende na rin sa context I: Deep naman ng self-enrichment.
ngayon, kasi the world is getting Anyway, why are you single?
close, nagiging maliit yung mundo, R: [Clears throat] Bakit nga ba?
in a way, na people come and go Ahmm…. Maybe it’s either a
tapos, nagiging maliit siya at choice na parang, hindi naman sa
nagiging complex siya tapos the hindi kaya pero… parang magiging
socioeconomic condition malaking paradigm shift sa akin din
nagbabago na siya, hindi na siya [?] Kasi, I’ve been single
kagaya nang dati, kasi yung iba throughout my life. Tapos papasok
naproproject na nila na parang sa relationship. Pero before yun…
bababa yung population, kasi ang tanong siguro ay… Bakit nga ba
couples now… yung parang iniisip hindi ka pa pumapasok sa
nila na mahirap magpalaki ng bata relationship? Yeah.
and the like… I: Oh, so you just answered
I: So basing on what you say, isn’t it supposedly my next question na
parang ironic na you say, the world single.
is getting closer and closer, R: See, slip of the tongue. [Laughs].
interconnected and the result I: So balik tayo, why are you single?
becomes to more like R: Hmmm. Siguro perfectionist ako[?]
individualistic. People tend to or just maarte lang talaga ako. Or
choose to become single. kasi tinatanong ko, am I worth it?
R: Teka, nagiiisip… [laughs]. Ahh.. Am I not enough? Kapalit-palit ba
They tend to turn into themselves ako? [Laughs]. Eh ayun… Kung
and not tend to go into a relationship sasabihin ko man na I am preparing
because, like what I said earlier na for myself… eh why would you
prepare? Siyempre ihanda mo nga R: Oo. Yes preparing. Teka, kasi may
sarili mo, pero paano nga time na englightening moment kasi
maghahanda dba? Mmm. Siguro I e. Yung bigla mo nalang mafefeel
am overthinking… Fear? Ayoko na, na, okay… Okay na ako, prepared
sobrang personal na to. [Laughs] na ako. Dba? May mga ganun na
Ayoko masaktan. Ayoko din parang talagang feeling din e.
maiwan. Mararamdaman mo nalang talaga.
I: So if ayaw mo masaktan o ayaw mo I: Do you think the notion of
maiwan, is it safe to say na you will sologamy will work/accepted in the
never enter into a relationship ever? Filipino setting?
R: Hindi ko naman nakikita yung sarili R: The context will be welcomed in the
ko na single forever, kasi to be in a Philippines especially for the
relationship has it pros and cons. In millennials. Kasi millennials are
some ways, para kang nagcocost- very forward thinking. But of
benefit analysis. Kasi yung ibang course, the conservative nature of
tao, naghahanap ng tao na the Philippines will enter the
napupunan ang pagkukulang sa picture. Talagang magiging topic of
kanila. Pero siguro, someone lang discussion pa rin siya. I guess it will
naman na makakasama mo. Oh my sooner be accepted. Maybe in the
god. That’s my view in a next few years. Kasi pwedeng cases
relationship. like just breaking the culture… the
I: So it is safe to say na, you want to norms… Something relating to a
enter in a relationship because there conservative thing. Because the
are things that you cannot give it to church is very influential. But yung
yourself and you are looking for a simbahan lang ba magiging batayan
companion to fulfill that[?] natin na sabihin nating conservative
R: Parang anlungkot kong tao dba? tayong tao… ang mga Pilipino
Hindi. Pero there’s no need to rush specifically? Pwedeng isang bagay,
naman dba? kung talagang influential nga sila.
I: So teka, recall natin. Reasons why Pero sa mga millennials, sila yung
you are single is first: Bata ka pa; marami sa next generation. So kung
second: Paradigm shift; third: you ngayon may ay may idea na silang
are preparing [?]. ganyan. So the next years will be
more open.
RESPONDENT: E1 Me: Huwag mo nang I-google, ang
Karina, Female Officer of the Philippine sologamy ay ang pagpapakasal sa sarili.
Army Weird ba?
Age: 34 K: May ganyan na ba? Ang alam ko lang
Graduate of the Philippine Military ay same sex marriage at pagpakasal sa
Academy namamatay, pero may kakaiba pa pala
Works as Defense Analyst at HQs pagpapakasal sa sarili. Meron na bang
Philippine Army ganyan sa Pilipinas?
Me: Wala pa akong nalalaman, ikaw baka
Me: Hi Karina, kumusta? gusto mo subukan?
K: Ok lang naman sir, ang tagal mong hindi K: Hahaha 34 pa lang ako sir, hindi pa ako
nakabisita dito sa office. Kumusta naman desperada may 16 years pa bago mag
ang buhay estudyante? menopause.
Me: Masaya ang buhay estudyante at Me: Ang sologamy kasi ay hindi naman
minsan masalimuot din. ginagawa ng mga desperada. Ginagawa ito
K: Ano maipaglilingkod namin sir. Ay, ng mga taong sobrang magmahal sa sarili
coffee or tea pala. nila kaya nila naisipan na hindi na mag
Me: Tea na lang Karina. Ang purpose ko asawa ng opposite sex instead
pala sa pagpunta dito ay para interviewin ko magpapakasal na lang sa sarili. Hindi lang
sana kayo ni Lyka pero lumipat na pala ng ordinary na pagpapakasal, may ceremony at
office si Lyka. may reception pa siya. Nasubukan mo na
K: Opo, natangay na siya ng boyfriend bang magka boyfriend?
niya, sa wakas may naloko na sa kanya kaya K: Boy na friend marami. Minsan nga lang
ayun sinisigurado na niya na hindi ako nagka boyfriend nag pari pa hahaha.
makakawala. Me: Ibang aspeto ng pagiging single ang
Me: Ganun ba? Ikaw ba kelan ka naman? pagpapari, ang Sologamy kasi ay bagong
K: Hahaha, wish ko lang meron din. Ano kaisipan na naman galling sa west. Pero
pala ung tungkol sa interview sir? seriously nagkaboyfriend ka na?
Me: May project kasi kami sa K: Grabe naman sir, oo naman.
Anthropology class namin regarding sa Me: Bakit hindi niyo naisip pakasal ng
Sologamy. May idea ka ba sa sologamy? boyfriend mo?
K: Wala sir pero puwede naman I-google K: OFW gusto niya ayaw niya ng sundalo
hahaha. hahaha.
Me: Dahil ba doon kaya ka naging pihikan K: Naku sir, same sex marriage nga
sa pagpili ng ka relasyon? malaking usapin, hindi lang sa mga
K: Hindi naman. Panganay kasi ako ng ordinaryong mamamayan pati na rin sa
limang magkakapatid. Isang kaugalian na pulitika, pagpapakasal sa sarili pa kaya.
kasi nating mga Pilipino na kung panganay Ang intindi kasi nating Pilipino sa
ka, responsibity mo na tulungan ang mga pagpapakasal ay sa pagitan ng lalake at
kapatid mo para makapag aral din. Lahat babae. Mulat sapul naman bago pa ang
nga ng allowance ko noong kadete pa ako pagdating ng mga kastila ang pagpapakasal
ay diretso ko binibigay sa kapatid ko na ayon sa mga Pilipino ay sa pagitan ng lalake
nasa kolehiyo sa Bacold. Nung natapos ang at babae. Liban doon ang purpose mg
sumunod sa akin yung pang apat naman. pagaasawa ng mga Pilipino ay upang
Yung pangatlo kasi wala ako naging magkaroon ng anak na mag ahon sa kanila
problema kasi vocational course kinuha. sa hirap at mag alaga sa kanila s kanilang
Yung bunso natapos na last year. Nag pagtanda. Sa tingin ko ang sologamy ay
enjoy yata ako tumulong sa magulang, hindi tanggap sa sa mga Pilipino.
nakalimutan ko tuloy maghanap ng Me: Nageevolve naman kasi ang mga
boyfriend hahaha. kaugalian natin, nagaadopt din siya sa mga
Me: Oo nga, parang kaugalian na nating kasalukuyang sitwasyon. Sa tingin mo ba
Pilipino na magtulungan para makapag aral mabago ng mga Filipino millennial na
an ating mga kapatid. Sa tingin mo mas katulad mo ang pananaw at kaugalian ng
mainam na single ka habang tumutulong? mga Pilipino tungkol sa pagaasawa at
K: Puwede naman kahit may asawa na sir, maging katanggap-tanggap ang Sologamy
pero bilang isang babae kasi, ayaw ko sa susunod na panahon?
namang mangyari na isipin ng maging K: May mga tradisyon o kaya kaugalian
asawa ko na ang kinikita niyang pera na nating Pilipino na maaring mabago dahil sa
inaabot sa akin ay napapunta sa mga epekto ng teknolohiya at internet, pero ang
magulang ko. Kahit sabihin ko na galling pananaw at kaugalian natin sa
sa sweldo ko ang binibigay ko sa magulang pagpapakasal ay hindi mababago kasi
ko sa tingin ko ay mag cause pa rin ng hanggat may simbahang Katoliko at Islam
misunderstanding kaya mas advantageous na niniwala at nagsasabi na ang
ang single muna. pagpapakasal ay sa lalake at babae lamang
Me: May point ka. Sa tingin mo ba hindi kelan man maging tanggap sa mga
katanggap tanggap ang Sologamy sa mga Pilipino ang pagpapakasal sa sarili.
Pilipino?
Puwede ako maging old maid pero hindi ko I: Do you have any idea about sologamy?
pa naisip na pakasal sa sarili ko hahaha. Have you heard about it?
Me: ok ok, Paano ginagawa mo kapag R: No, I have not. But I’m starting to
gusto mo manood ng sine, kumain sa labas suspect what this is about. Would you care
or mamasyal? Wala ka namang boyfriend at to explain it?
puro matatanda naman mga kasama mo dito I: Sologamy is like self-marriage as in thru
sa office at alangan naman sila isama mo? wedding ritual. This is what distinguishes it
K: Usually nanonood lang ako ng sine from merely being a single. It’s a self-
kasama ko mga classmate ko na hangang commitment but you are not closed to the
ngaun mga dalaga pa rin hahaha. Kung idea of marrying others.
gusto ko kumain sa labas at wala ako R: Is that a legitimate term?
mayaya hindi na lang ako labas or I: Yes of course, it’s commonly being used
nagpapadeliver na lang ako ng gusto ko in European countries and Japan for
kainin. Sa pamamasyal naman, kasama ko example.
ang aso ko. Mabuti aso ko loyal sa akin I: Anyway, why are you single? Is it by
toinks. choice or by chance?
Me: Ang saklap naman, anyway may balak R: Okay, I’m going to be honest. A little bit
ka pa bang mag asawa? of both, actually. I’ll admit, before I came
K: Meron naman sir, pangarap ng bawat into this job… 2013-2015, I just gone
Pilipina na maglakad sa pasilyo ng through a really tragic experience in love. I
simbahan suot ang kanyang wedding gown. mean it wasn’t sure it was even love, maybe
Kaya ako nagiipon ngaun para pagdating ko it was just stupidity. 2013, 2015 I wasn’t
ng 50 years old at wala pa rin akong asawa even thinking about that. So, I guess you
ay bibili na lang ako ng asawa ko hahaha. can say, at that stage of my life it was a
Me: Hahaha, ok Karina, maraming salamat choice. At that stage I was actually not
sa pagpapaunlak mo ng interview, at sa mga thinking about a partner, I was only
pananaw mo. Malaking tulong ito sa class thinking about amassing my wealth,
paper namin. learning new skills, perhaps establishing
K: Walang anuman sir. my own army, conquering new stuff, but
nothing about finding a partner, not
RESPONDENT: ER1 relationships. After that though, I guess
MALE, AGE 29, DEFENSE ANALYST- that’s where the chance element comes in.
AFP Actually 2016 and most of 2017…I wasn’t
actually in the market for relationships pa
rin. One, the way I was raised up. I was Which is fine to me. But me
raised to basically think that if you go into personally…I’ll be blunt, I’ve never been
relationships especially when you are going one for ceremonies myself.
to have a family, you have to be prepared I: Never in a million years would you do it?
for it. Partly, I would say it’s a reaction to R: Not necessarily something so extreme,
the house history. To be blunt most of the but rather its one of those things I won’t go
men for both branches of my households out of my way to do it. But even with the
are failures in relationship. By failures I idea of relationships. My idealized image of
don’t mean they didn’t have any, but it is not necessarily marriage. Doesn’t
failures I mean their family lives are a mess, necessarily involve marriage. I guess, If I
that’s all I’m going to say. So yeah, I was were to be in a relationship, I’d be
brought up basically to not really shun comfortable with informal partnership. But
relationships but to not consider them until that was then of course,..My romantic
I feel I’m personally ready. But of course image of those things is more of like me and
back for most of the past 10 years or so, my my partner going out there and boo yonder.
life was focused primarily on me. Not Not really necessarily settling down or the
necessarily in the egotistical-selfish way old-fashion family setting.
but more of the need to improve self, need I: Do you think the notion of sologamy will
to be stronger, need to be more powerful, work in the Filipino setting?
that kind of thinking. So, yeah I guess you R: Depends on what you mean by work. I
could say it’s mostly by choice. Although I would not imagine that…In my opinion
say it’s a bit of both because as I prefaced, kasi of my relationship scene here in the
it’s not for a lack of trying. So maybe I Philippines is very colored by media and
would be a very skewed example because what I see in my own social circles. If the
I’m an example of auto-failure. media were listened to solely, you would
I: Okay. So how do you feel about the idea think that everyone is hooking up that’s
of sologamy? why we all have this horror stories of
R: I mean, far be it for me to say its absurd teenage pregnancies…I’m not sure because
or stupid or anything like that. If that’s how on the one hand, I guess fort those Filipinos
people want to codify their commitment to who really care about improving
themselves, that’s fine. I mean the way I see themselves first or love themselves more or
it, sologamy is basically a person’s way of something like that, I could see that
saying to the world that yeah I am happening. But on a macro scale, in the
committing to myself for now or whatever. vast majority of the society, I’m not so sure.
I don’t know. The Filipinos, in my opinion R: By choice kasi yun nga nag-momourn
kasi is kind of obsessed with the notion of pa ako sa mother ko and I don’t think this is
relationships and being in love with another the right time to engage in a
person to the point where I don’t see in the relationship…When I’m in a stage na nag
foreseeable future the phenomenon of rerecuperate pa ako emotionally. It is
sologamy or other kinds of phenomenon unfair, I think for my partner na parang di
where you have only one person involved. ako handa to be in a serious long-term
That thing I mention in Japna, the whole relationship with someone when I have my
social shut-in, the “hikokomori” thing, I own individual situation na in-eencounter
don’t think that would ever take off here for myself. By chance, kasi there is still no
because Filipinos are too social. At the one.
same token, I don’t imagine sologamy I: So it’s your first time to hear about
taking off because Filipinos in my opinion sologamy. So how do you feel about the
are too wedded to the idea of relationships idea of sologamy?
and love, motherwise teleseryes and love Since it’s kinda new..Well I’ve read about
teams wouldn’t be so popular, wouldn’t it? sologamy, I didn’t know that there’s a term
I: Alright, thank you. That’s it! for it…But I’ve read it online that there are
certain people in different parts of the world
RESPONDENT: ER2 that practices sologamy. But for me, if
FEMALE, AGED 29, choice nila yun, okay lang naman. But if
ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICER-AFP you will ask kung gagawin ko yun. I don’t
think so. I’ve been with myself for a long
I: Sologamy is marrying yourself, as in thru time and I think I want to share yung
wedding ritual. knowledge ko and yung experiences,
I: Have you ever been involved in a everything with a partner in the
relationship before? How many? future...Maybe not now. So I don’t think
R: Yes, once. sologamy is something I’d consider.
I: Why are you single? It is by choice or by I: Yung sologamy kasi you can still marry
chance? someone after you marry yourself.
R: By choice and by chance. Pwede ba R: But what the difference of sologamy sa
‘yon? self-confident ka in what you can do?
I: Yes! I: Sologamy lang talaga kasi is yung may
ritual lang that’s it.
R: I don’t think that’s needed when you’re Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
already sure of yourself. I respect people Jai: Why are you single?
who take it further to commit or to tell to Coleen: Malay ko ba. Ganyan talaga ang
the public na I’m committed to myself life. Walang maayos na tao.
through that ritual, pero it’s okay for me. J: Siryoso yun yon?
I: So last na, do you think the notion of C: Oo wala namang tao
sologamy will work in the Filipino setting? J: when you say na walang tao can you
R: Not in the near future, pero kung long expound?
term…kasi yung generation ngayon open- C:Walang matinong tao
minded…Ang society for it to advance has J:Matinong tao in terms of?
to adapt to different practices, to different C:Wala pa kong namimeet na attracted
cultures, or ideas and concepts…And ako enough kahit na kilala ko sya
although slow, I think with the kind of J: So wala ka pang namimeet na
generation, yung mga millenials ngayon di attrafcted ka enough for you to enter in a
na maintindihan ng older generation na relationship?
what they’re doing now may not be C:Attracted enough. Interested enough.
foreseen by the older generation. With the Basically wala lang akong namimeet na
changing environment, easing it with pagkakilala ko sa kanya attracted ako sa
technology and yung culture na we travel a kanya parin at the same time interesado
lot, as in no borders, more interaction with ako sa gusto nyang sabihin, so bobo lang.
people across the world, that would help to hahahaha charot! Walang gwapo, walang
atleast introduce the concept, but as a may utak, charot! Walang matinong
society na family-oriented, I don’t think it kausap.
will prosper, hindi sya ganun masyado i- J: So meron naman matinong kausap di
eembrace ng society kasi yung society natin naman gwapo?
family-oriented and for you to have a C: Wala ngarin eh kahit matinong
family you have to have a partner. kausap, basically walang matinong
kausap sa mundong to. Hehehehe
RESPONDENT: JA1 J: Have you ever been involved in a
Colleen Abesamis relationship before?
Communications Officer C: Yes, for one week when I was in third
24 Years Old year highschool, I was 15 and I was dumb
Gender: Female but it’s now over. Hahaha
J: So it lasted for 1 week lang? someone ka. Thou syempre minsan
C: Actually 6 days lang. lonely din naman ako kailangan ko din
J: And it ended because? naman ng fafabels you know to satisfy
C: Manyak kasi sya eh hahaha. Tsaka my needs. CHAROT! Hahahahaha pero
ewan ko, may iba kasi akong crush nun. wala lang talaga so wala ng magagawa.
Hahaha so parang sabi ko gusto ko parin J: To satisfy your needs bat kailangan
yung isang tao so break na tayo pero feel mo pa ng interesado ka kausap?
ko 80% ng dahilan nun deep inside is hahahaha
manyak kasi sya tas andami nyang C: Hahahahaha mahirap naman kasi
demands. Tas basta ang touchy nya and pano kami mapupunta sa ganung stage
basta manyak sya. Basically manyak sya. kung di naman ako interested at attracted
J: Have you heard about sologamy? enough sa kanya. Ayoko rin naman
C: Sologamy? Hindi, not yet. chumukchak lang.
J: Sologamy is commitment to self and J: Do you think the notion of sologamy
the satisfaction of being alone but not will work in the Filipino setting?
lonely. May commitment to self ka lang. C: Siguro kumpara sa ibang bansa
so you’re not into relationships. Now that mahirap, kasi ditto parang kahit mas
you’ve heard about it, how do you feel liberated yung mga babae or atleast sa
about the idea of sologamy? tingin ko, parang meron paring mataas na
C: Okay naman sya. Yung naman expectation na magpakasal ka and
ginagawa ko all this time. Hahaha wala eventually magka anak ka. So feel ko sa
lang akong term for it. So yeah, that’s situation ngayon ditto sa pilipinas baka
what I’ve been doing for the past 24 years mahirap parin sya. Pero sa situation ko di
of my life. Hahahaha naman ako nakakaramdam ng sobrang
J: So parang okay ka lang maging pressure. Siguro partly narin dahil
sologamous? financially independent naman ako at
C: Yung na nga ko! may mga bagay na interesadong gawan.
J: I mean how long na okay ka sa ganung So parang hindi naman sya sobrang in
setup? your face na kailangan mag asawa. So
C: Feel ko okay naman ako na kahit ayun.
mamatay ako na wala naming someone. J: So for you personally pwede pero sa
Feeling ko mostly naman societal Pilipinas setting mahirap?
pressure lang yung kailangan may C: Yes.
RESPONDENT: JA2 - How do you feel about the idea of
Full name: Abigail Mercado sologamy?
Age: 25
Work: Grad student / Freelance film to each his own personally, i am satisfied
production with remaining single for now. but i do
Gender: Female plan to get married eventually once my
Sexual Orientation: heterosexual mindset and situation is as ready as can
- Why are you single? be for raising a family.
- Do you think the notion of sologamy
i am not ready to commit to a romantic will work in the Filipino setting?
relationship. as in right now i am not
willing to commit the time and effort in not currently; we are still too
maintaining one. conservative in the sense that a person is
still expected to eventually form a
-Ano for you yung factors (career? traditional family (man, woman, child) at
Family? Studies? Or other?) as of the some point in life. the person who does
moment why your not yet ready to not achieve this is regarded as pitiful. but
commit? in the future it may work. maybe
sologamy will develop as a response to a
financial stability (dependent pa ako sa perceived failure of marriage in modern
parents), spiritual maturity society
- Have you been involved in a
relationship before? (If yes pakwento RESPONDENT: JA3
how long and why did it end) Full name: Maricor Capuya
Age: 27
no. i do not commit to any relationship Work: VFX Shoot Supervisor
beyond friendship unless marriage is in Gender: Female
the picture. so far my romantic Sexual Orientation: Demisexual
experiences are limited to dating without Why are you single?
the expectation of romantic commitment.
- Have you heard about sologamy? I am currently single because I do have
self imposed that as long as I don't have
yes. my college diploma at hand, I don't have
the right to be in relationship. My parents RESPONDENT: J1
instilled that in case my partner leave the Gender: F Age: 33 Occupation: Application
relationship, I can still stand my ground Developer Associate Manager
by being stable not just financially but J – Joanne (Interviewer)
also emotionally. I – Interviewee
- Have you been involved in a J: Why are you single?

relationship before? I: Actually not really sure. But Right now,
it’s not my priority. Currently enjoying my
Not yet. I have been called as nbsb, no singleness.
boyfriend since birth. J: Yezzzz
I: Hahaha
- Have you heard about sologamy? J: gaano katagal ka nang single?
I: 10 years
Yes, just recently with the help of google. J: Nagkaromantic relationship ka na ba
Marriage to oneself or being celibate. before?
I: Yes. 1 boyfriend during my last year in
- How do you feel about the idea of college
sologamy? J: Follow-up questions, what can you say
about your past relationship?
I can somehow relate to it by self love but I: Ahh.. It’s fun and inspired and good
not to the point of marrying oneself. experience. Even though it didn’t end well
I still consider it as a good experience.
- Do you think the notion of sologamy I: Pareho tayo nung college.hihi
will work in the Filipino setting? I: Hahaha
J: Lam mo yun..wahehhe
Yes because the newer generation tend to I: Tama hahaha
focus on their careers rather than being in J: Good memories..
a relationship. They somehow now know I: Truelalooo haha
the consequences of being in a J: Narinig mo na ba yung salitang
relationship, so they rather love "Sologamy?"
themselves than to be hurt. Maybe but I: Yes.. but not that knowledgable..
not in general, just my two cents.
J: Yung sologamy ay nangyayari sa ibang people don’t really want to grow old alone.
bansa.. ito yung taong pinapakasalan ang In one point they want to have someone
sarili niya at may seremonya pa at mga beside them. At yung word na “marriage”
guests tulad sa Japan. kasi to unite 2 people to 1. And marriage is
I: Sologamy is like married to oneself diba? for man and woman. Kaya nga di approved
J: Yup, pero di naman ito legal o kinikilala dito sa atin ung same sex marriage eh.
ng batas... Sobrang conventional kasi tayo.
I: Ahhh may ceremony .. kala ko wala J: Wow.. pang Miss U ang answer!
J: At kahit pinakasalan na ang sarili ay Magandang insights yan.. thanks ng
pwede pa ring magpakasal sa iba in the marami sa pagpayag na ma-interview!!!
future... I: You’re welcome!
I: Ahhh pero weird niyan
J: At may iba pa na bago sila
makipagrelasyon ay ipinapaliwanag muna RESPONDENT: J2
nila sa magiging karelasyon nila na kasal na Name: Arieth Abing Age: 33
sila sa sarili nila... Gender: Female
I: Ahhh.. Pero it’s not legal diba? Occupation: Analytics Manager
J: Yup di legal, ceremony lang.. Ginagawa J – Interviewer
raw nila ito for self-acceptance at pwede I – Interviewee
ring pag-embrace ng singlehood. Anong
masasabi mo sa idea ng Sologamy? J: Why are you single?
I: Sologamy is not my cup of tea but I I: I haven’t met a guy who I’d be willing to
respect a person who is sologamist. I like spend my free time with. I love doing things
being single for now but I think in near without worrying about other people:
future I would like to have my own family travelling, buying things, etc. Once a guy
or child. demands more time than what I can spare, I
J: Okay so ineenjoy mo muna ang just stop seeing them.. or just treat them as
singlehood.hehehe.. friends. I don’t like people to demand
I: Yup yup.. I want to travel pa. things from me. Or maybe I just haven’t
J: Final question, sa tingin mo magwowork met that one guy who I’ll be willing to leave
ba sa Philippine setting ang idea ng eveything and spend all my free time with.
Sologamy? Maybe haven’t met a guy that is interesting
I: I don’t think so.. because marriage is very enough to be my partner. I always end up as
sacred to the Philippines. And I think
friends with them. Haha.. I’ve met a guy pero I wanted to move up. Career driven
before na pwede na sana. But he was in a ako.. I think until now..
relationship na. So off limits.. We ended up J: Kaka 1 yr ko pa lang sa UP nun ah at nag-
as great friends! eenjoy sa homey feel ng UP.nyahaha
J: Dahil wala ka pang naging bf... eh kahit I: Hahaha. Ambisyosa ako sa trabaho eh.
ka-MU (Mutual Understanding)? take your Gusto ko kasi mabili lahat ng gusto ko
time.. hehehe... kung meron kang maisshare using my own money.
gora lang.hehehe J: Bilib ako sayo Lethie!
I: Meron.. we dated for 4 months.. kilala na I: Nyek. Hahaha..
din siya ng parents ko. Friend kasi siya ng J: Next question, narininig mo na ba ang
cousin ko. We go on a date during salitang “Sologamy?”
weekends. From La Union pa kasi sya saka I: Heard it from you. Pwede ba ganun
need nya lumuwas every weekend for our sagot? Haha..
dates.. J: Yup.hehe.. Yung sologamy ay
J: Kelan ito naganap Lethie? nangyayari sa ibang bansa.. ito yung taong
I: 2010 pa.. matagal na. Pero siya yung pinapakasalan ang sarili niya at may
pinakamalapit na sana. seremonya pa at mga guests tulad sa Japan
J: Ang layo ah.. La Union.. At may funds pero di naman ito legal o kinikilala ng
pangluwas para makita ang beauty mo! batas... at kahit pinakasalan na ang sarili ay
Bongga ka Lethie! open pa rin sila for dating at pwede pa ring
I: Kaso demanding sa oras and nung time magpakasal sa iba in the future... at may iba
na yun I was still focused sa trabaho. I pa na bago sila makipagrelasyon ay
wanted to succeed and maging valued sa ipinapaliwanag muna nila sa magiging
trabaho. Di nya maintindihan na di ko karelasyon nila na kasal na sila sa sarili
kayang every weekend is lalabas ako lalo nila… Ginagawa raw nila ito for self-
na pag super busy sa trabaho. acceptance at pwede ring pag-embrace ng
J: Yun ba ung nakalipat ka na sa IHG? singlehood.
I: Yup sa IHG na ako nun. Bago palang ako I: I think it’s a great thing!
nun so I have to prove myself. During that J: Next question na pala ung ano ang
time nakikita ko na future ko sa IHG so i palagay mo sa idea ng Sologamy?
wanted to invest sa career. I wanted to buy I: It’s empowering! It shows that those
and invest things so I needed to work hard people who love themselves over others
para mapromote. I was looking for a aren’t selfish.
promotion eh. Stable na ako sa IHG nun
They are just happy about themselves and I: Nope. Lalo na na very family oriented
won’t be swayed by simple gestures of tayo. Sa family setting palang.. Relatives
people. would always ask, “Bakit wala ka pang
J: interesting insights ha.. If ever, nakikita asawa? Tatanda kang dalaga. Or sige ka
mo ba sarili mo in the future na walang mag-aalaga sayo pagtanda mo.” Or
magsologamy? Or open ka sa idea na if you have high standards sasabihin, “Wag
maging sologamist? ka masyado pihikan tatanda kang dalaga.” I
I: There are people kasi na would rather think it’s not a good notion, lowering your
spend time alone than be with people who standards just to have someone to grow old
are not that interesting. Who doesn’t add with.
value. Yung mga taong sabaw. Hahaha J: ah so dahil sa family pressure... at
J: hahaha… true! Parang waste of time and surroundings... bukod sa culture.. parang
everything! negative sya sa tingin mo.. not good notion
I: I think yes! Parang ngayon. I tend to yung sologamy or yung lowering your
spend time with people na gusto ko talaga standards?
kasama. Yung may sense kausap.. yung I: Ako personally I like yung idea na
natututo ako.. yung masayang kausap. tanggap na yung mahalin mo sarilin mo
J: Eh pano kung may person ka na makilala over others.. However, since Philippines is
na ganun outside your circle of friends? a very conservative country and they think
I: Syempre go na! I’d be happy to spend eveything revolves around family.. I think
time with people na would not be tiring. I di lang siya magwork dito. Good thing yung
mean yung di mo na kailangan mag-isip sologamy..
masyado ng topic, it just flows.. So kung di J: Good insights!
ganun yung tao.. I’d rather stay at home, I: Pero di lang siya magwowork sa pinas
read books, travel etc. kasi ang matatanda measures sucess ng isa
J: Yez! Yung sinasabi nilang you can talk on what family they could have.. Ano
everything under the sun... na di mo trabaho nung mapapangasawa.. mayaman
namamalayan ang oras... ba family ng mapapangasawa, etc. Mas ok
I: Sabi nga nila ‘no nonsense’ person daw sana kung mas important yung personal
ako. I won’t spend time with a person if I’d success. Ambisyosa kasi ako kaya ganyan
have to force myself. Di ko papagurin sarili ako. Hahaha..
ko if di ko gusto. J: Di ka naman ambisyosang todo.. sa
J: Last question, do you think the notion of tingin ko sakto lang.. balance pa rin
sologamy will work in the Filipino setting? somehow..
I: I just think na I have to invest on myself gusto ka pa idagdag sa sagot mo o question
and not depend on others. Hahaha.. 2 na tayo?
J: Tama naman un.. yung independent ka.. I: Syempre worry ka din.. judgement na
naku maraming salamat Lethie ha! niya yun kung susunod siya na sabihan na
I: Sureness! umuwi ng maaga, kung hindi ok lang.
J: Ok. Bilib ako sayo.. sana ganyan nga
RESPONDENT: J3 mangyari ha..hehehe joke lang! Question 2,
Age: 36 Gender: Male nagkaromantic relationship ka na ba
Occupation: Audio Visual before? Pwedeng pakilahad at ano ang
Technician pananaw mo sa relasyon?
J: Interviewer I: Wala pa..
I: Interviewee J: Kahit MU?

I: Mayroon kaso hindi seryoso..
J: Bakit ka single? J: Ok
I: Haha..Alam mo na sagot dyan.. I: Siguro...trust saka commitment at
J: Ilahad mo sagot kasi kailangan sa love.haha.. Siguro understanding...accept
interview at di rin ako sure kung bakit ones imperfection..
eh.hehehe.. J: Ilang years ka nang single?
I: Hahaha...nag-enjoy pa ako maging I: Cguro 6 years.. I lie..wahaha..joke lang..
single.. Walang hassle.. Walang curfew.. J: Hahaha.. kainis ka.. wehhh
J: Sige go lang... as long as may gusto kang I: Hahaha..anong next question..
sabihin o ilahad. Hahaha... grabe sya.. kung J: Question number 3: Narinig mo na ba
ikaw ba di mo ccurfew-hin gf mo?hehe yung salitang "Sologamy?"
I: Hindi... I: Hindi pa..
J: Wow... J: Kung di pa di ka nagiisa.hahaha.. Yung
I: Malaki na siya alam na niya ginagawa sologamy ay nangyayari sa ibang bansa.. ito
niya.. yung taong pinapakasalan ang sarili niya at
J: Wow... tiwala lang no? may seremonya pa at mga guests tulad sa
I: Mag text na lang o call siya pag pauwi na Japan pero di naman ito legal o kinikilala
siya.. ng batas... at kahit pinakasalan na ang sarili
J: Di ka ba natatakot baka mapano pag late ay open sila sa dating at pwede pa ring
eve na o madaling araw? Ah pwede... may magpakasal sa iba in the future... at may iba
pa na bago sila makipagrelasyon ay
ipinapaliwanag muna nila sa magiging
karelasyon nila na kasal na sila sa sarili J: or uuso o pwede ba pumatok sa ‘tin ung
nila... concept ng sologamy? Sa Philippines in
I: Ngayon alam ko na.. general..
J: Ginagawa raw nila ito for self- I: Sa ngayon hindi siguro kung buong
acceptance at pwede ring pag-embrace ng pilipinas.. sa metro pwede pa..
singlehood. May example, yung isang J: Ah maganda yang insight mo... bakit sa
babae may bf pero pinakasalan nya pa rin metro pwede?
sarili nya for self-acceptance.. I: Sa metro exposed ang mga tao saka yung
I: Hahaha..ok.. iba open-minded.. yung iba nag-
J: So sa question 4: Ano ang feel mo sa idea aadapt..sunod sa uso..
ng sologamy? J: Sabagay... pede.. depende sa pananaw..
I: Ok lang.. depende sa tao kung accept nya I: Still karamihan sumusunod pa din sa
na under siya ng sologamy.. traditional tulad sa mga probinsya..
J: Eh para sayo? ano masasabi mo sa J: May gusto ka pang idagdag? kahit sa
sologamy? mga naunang tanong kung may bigla ka
I: Sa akin terms/labeling lang yan.. Lahat lang naisip..
ng tao ay ginawa ng Diyos na unique, I: Wala na... Nagutom ako bigla sa mga
walang kapareha.. as human.. Mga tao lang sagot ko..hahaha
ang gumagawa ng mga ganyang labelling.. J: Oks! Salamat ng marami ha! hahaha..
Saka akin wala akong paki kung anong
tawag nila single, married, separated, etc... RESPONDENT : K1
importante you value yourself and your Interviewee 1
loves ones..wahahaha Roque B. Cruz, 30, Male, Content
J: Wowwwwww bigat! Malalim, pang Analyst
Miss U ahhh.hehehehe.. kulang pa sa huli... Kristel: Good morning Toto. Mabilis lang
"and I, thank you!" to. As I said earlier, our Anthro 225 class is
I: Mukhang si Obet yan..hehe doing a research on single Filipinos, aged
J: Ok.. Question 5: sa iyong opinyon, 20 to early 40, to determine whether the
magwowork ba ang sologamy sa Filipino concept of sologamy is applicable in the
setting? Philippines. My apologies for the
I: Sa generation ngayon pwede.. Kung old- straightforward questions ha. Wala nang
school, hindi oobra.. paligoy-ligoy pa.
Roque: Sige, shoot.
K: To start, why are you single? K: Bakit naman?
R: I guess I’m just focused on my personal R: Kasi I prioritize myself. Kung ano muna
development and achieving my personal ang nagpapasaya sakin.
goals. Relationship distracts me most of the K: Do you think the notion of sologamy
time. will work in the Filipino setting?
K: I see. Have you been involved in a R: With our culture and religion, I don’t
relationship before? think it would work in the Filipino setting.
R: Yes. Unfortunately, that’s when the time Filipinos, in general, are very conservative
I’m in limbo. I have no plans about my and conforming. They really care about
career and life that time. Alam mo na. what others will say about them and what
K: Have you heard about the concept of are they doing.
sologamy? K: Hhhmm. Okay, that’s it. We have
R: It’s my first time to hear about it and I exhausted all the questions. Thank you for
need to search for the meaning of it before your cooperation.
answering this questions. Hahaha
K: Sologamy is a concept of western origin, RESPONDENT: K2
which means marrying yourself through a Interviewee 2
ceremony. You have the usual ingredients Alias Happy Summer, 30, Male,
of a wedding ceremony except that you do Mechanical Engineer
not have a partner. Hindi siya marriage in
the legal sense, the ceremony is not Kristel: Good afternoon, Happy Summer.
recognized by law. They are doing it in Kumusta?
Europe and in Japan. You can even hire Happy: Okay lang. Good afternoon.
companies in Japan to help you prepare for K: Ayun. I’m currently taking up Anthro
the wedding. It’s about self-love, self- 225 and we are tasked to do a research on
validation. Pero it doesn’t necessarily mean single Filipinos, aged 20 to early 40s, to
that you will not marry another person in determine whether the concept of sologamy
the future. Pwede rin naman. Kumbaga, is applicable in the Philippines.
loving yourself first before loving others. So, if I may ask, are you still single?
R: Oh, that’s new. H: Yes, I am.
K: How do you feel about the idea of K: Legally single?
sologamy? H: Single and ready to mingle.
R: I feel weird about it but I understand
where they are coming from.
K: So you are not into a relationship. Have give back ay nadidivide. So not really, yun
you ever been in a relationship? ang main reason.
H: Yes, I've been in a relationship. K: So talagang time, like 'di ka pa
K: Matagal na or just recently? makapag-devote ng malaking bahagi ng
H: Medyo matagal na. oras mo sa ibang bagay, tama ba?
K: If I may ask, bakit ka single ngayon? Is H: Parang gusto ko kasi ng flexibility pa.
it a choice? K: So, like in your case, kung gusto mong
H: A choice. maghike, wala kang pagpapaalaman?
K: Bakit? May mga personal plans ka ba? H: Or kumbaga hawak ko ang schedule ko.
H: Siguro 'di pa ako ready and 'yun nga K: Yung ikaw ang boss?
may mga personal plans, and preoccupied H: Saka syempre kailangan talaga
ako sa marami pang bagay. magdevote ng time.
K: Like? K: Yes, tama. So punta na tayo sa main
H: Like work and mga gusto ko pang question.
gawin. Kasi kapag nagcommit sa H: Ha? Wala pa tayo sa main question?
relationship syempre kailangan ng time and K: Wala pa. Preliminary questions pa lang
resources. Sa ngayon, 'di ko talaga kayang yun. Seryoso na. Have you heard about
magcommit sa time. Saka magiging sologamy?
stressful lang buhay ko. H: Hindi pa.
K: Oh grabe, magiging stressful ang K: Sologamy in layman's term is “marrying
buhay? yourself”. Parehas lang yan sa usual na
H: Sorry, sorry. wedding ceremony, may walking down the
K: Rason ba na financially gusto mo muna aisle, may bouquet, may officiant,
maging stable? witnessed by family and friends; wala ka
H: Reason din yan pero ang pinaka reason nga lang partner. Hindi sya marriage in the
ko talaga ay time. legal sense, the ceremony is not recognized
K: How about giving back sa family, like by law. It is being practiced in Europe and
nagpapaaral ng kapatid, tinutulungan ang some parts of Asia like Japan. Sa Japan,
parents? Kagaya ng sabi ng iba naming may mga kumpanya pa nga na pwedeng
interviewees… umalalay sayo before and during the
H: Ganyan din naman ako, pero sa family wedding. Papipiliin ka nila ng cake,
kasi namin, graduate na kaming lahat na wedding gown, reception, hotel, etc.
magkakapatid, so yung responsibility to H: Applicable sa both men and women?
K: Yes, both men and women. Gender Di ko alam kung may nag-papractice na ng
neutral sya. Ang sologamy kasi is about ganyan dito.
self-validation. Parang expression ng self- K: Di ko rin alam kung meron na. Malay
love. Kumbaga inuuna mo ang sarili mo natin meron na pala.
tulad ng sinasabi mo. Nag-evolve na ang H: Tsaka kahit single, nasa horizon ko pa
term. Nagsimula kasi yan sa mga ang mag settle down at some time.
nakakaramdam ng pressure na magpakasal,
halimbawa sa atin, tinatanong tayo kung K: Ay oo. Diko pala nabanggit, the concept
kelan tayo magpapakasal. of sologamy doesn't necessarily mean na
H: Totoo yan. forever kang single. Pwede ka pa rin
K: Di ba? Bakit di ka pa nagpapakasal, 30 magpakasal. 'Di naman kasi sya marriage in
years old ka na. Hanggang sa nagevolve na the legal sense. Dinedeclare mo lang na
lang ang idea. As I’ve said Western ang kinakasal mo sarili sa sarili mo at inuuna
concept pero nangyayari na rin sa Japan and mo ang sarili. In the end, kung gusto mo pa
other Asian countries. Pero di natin alam naman magpakasal, pwede pa, pwede ka
kung may nangyayari na rin sa Pilipinas. pang magpakasal ka sa iba. Pero yun nga
So how do you feel about the idea of ang tanong kung magiging applicable nga
sologamy? Na ikakasal mo ang sarili mo, sa yan sa atin.
sarili mo, sa isang seremonya? H: Iniisip ko tuloy na baka wala lang
H: Parang weird. Pag sinabi kasing tayong sariling term para sa sologamy. Pero
marriage parang union with another person. may practice na tayo ng pagpapahalaga sa
Pag with oneself lang parang walang point. sarili wala nga lang seremonyas
K: Tingin mo, itong concept ng sologamy K: Yun lang naman, Happy. Any
maa-adapt natin dito sa Pilipinas? concluding remarks?
H: Palagay ko hindi. Or not in the soonest H: I therefore conclude na yung sologamy
time na nakikita ko. talaga in its meaning na dapat may
K: So pwede? ceremony o rituals ay di pa tanggap sa
H: Pwede siguro pero matagal siguro Philippine society pero pina-practice na
maintegrate sa society. Kasi ang Philippine natin ang konsepto ng self-love o self-
society talaga ay very family-oriented. validation.
Tama ka nga na pag age 30 or 30 plus ang
expectation ay nag-sesettle down na,
nagbabago na dapat priorities mo. So may
ganyang pang question na 'di pa ma-accept.
RESPONDENT: M1 hindi maranasan ng magiging
RESPONDENT: AXEL DORFENAN family ko yung naranasan kong
(NOT REAL NAME) (28- Govt hirap before. Tsaka yung mga
emoployee) previous relationship ko kc mag
INTERVIEWER: MARK JESON RUSIA kaiba kmi ng religion. kya siguro
hnd nagwowork png matagalan
R: Currently kasi our team is looking R: Does it mean kapag di ka na single
for respondents na single. Are you di mo na ma-memeet ung objective
still single bro? mo na makatulong sa kanila?
I: Yup I: Hindi naman. ang pagtulong naman
R: Why are you single?. sa family kahit magkaroon ka ng
P: Para saan ba to tol? sariling family. magagawa mo pa
R: studies namin about concept ng den nman yun eh.
sologamy..have you heared about R: so anu yung nakikita mong
sologamy? sologamy means advantage ng pagiging single sa
marrying one self..devoting life pagtulong sa pamilya?
being single.. I: Mas nakakatulong ka financially sa
I: Ah gnun ba’ pero ayoko naman family pag single ka pa. Tsaka sa
maging ganyan. hehe pananaw ko naman wala nmang
R: Sa ibang bansa when we speak deadline ang pag aasawa eh. kasi
about sologamy merong ceremonial pang habang buhay yan eh.
rites..ung pakakasalan mo sarili mo R: You mean mas maluwag kang
I: Gusto ko den magkapamilya. makatulong sa family mo financialy
balang araw. parang against naman kasi single ka? tama ba?
yan as a christian yang sologamy na I: yup.
yan. Hehe R: ah..aside sa reason na ito, kanina
R: Five questions ito bro. first is why nabanggit mo yung sa
are you single? religion..How it defines your
I: Lumaki kasi ako sa hirap at yung relationship with other people? or
mga nakakatanda sa akin na mga How your faith/beliefs determines
kapatid maaga nag-sipag asawa. your relationship with other people?
Sabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi muna I: For me it is very important eh. kasi
ako mag aasawa ng maaga at para kung parehas kyo ng religion mas
marami kayong pagkakasunduan in
terms of spiritual aspect. Alam mo R: yup single pa den category nun.
yan dahil Christian ka den. for ex. hanggat hindi sila nagpapakasal
Sa ating mga Christian hindi tayo single pa din sila.
nakikiayon sa makamundong I: ah.papanu po yung in a relationship
gawain. eh kung hindi christian status (hindi pa married)? does it
yung naging partner mo magiging mean they are still single?
magkaiba talaga kayo ng R: definition ko kc diyan hanggat hindi
perspective sa buhay kasal kahit in a relationship pa nag
R: ah..so it defines yung mga bagay na ilagay nila single pa den ang
pagkakasunduan niyo..kung baga category nila
your faith determines the values you I: ah...have you been in a relationship?
have..so kapag magkaiba kayo ng R: sa ngayon kasi single na ako
faith you assume it na magkaiba ngayon. wala na akong ka in-
kayo ng values therefore it become relationship. kasi nag break na kasi
one reason sa preference mo in kmi eh. hays!! differences
terms of relationship? tama po ba? siguro.tsaka mas matanda kasi ako
I: yup. tumpak. sa kanya eh. sigruro yung maturity
R: Siguro financial stabiliy level niya magkaiba kmi. she cant
din.mahalaga din kasi yun eh. handle problems. madali siyang
I: Para sa iyo ano yung relasyon nito mag decide na hiwalay kagad.
sa pagpasok sa isang relasyon? I: ah...let me clear..so these are the
R: Siyempre kung may sapat ka ng factors: age- mas matanda ka, iba
pera. may sarili ka ng bahay kahit ung maturity level
hind naman malaki or marangya R: yup. pero kung in general ang sagot.
tapos may maganda kang trabaho no 1. different religion
mas malaking factor yun para I: so it means na nagmamatter talaga
makapag asawa ka na. yung religion sa relationship?
I: kung baga financial stability is a R: yup. malaking factor tlaga yan tol.
form of preparation to enter lalo sa ating mga Christian. Marami
relationship tamo po ba? silang hind mauunawaan sa belief
R: yup. first step kc yan eh. natin. Pati yung mga similarities at
I: do you considered as mag- bf/gf as differences nyo nag ma-matter din
single? sa iyong pananaw? yan at yung maturity level na
nakakaapekto sa pagawa ng mga
decision na sa tingin mo pag mature mahalin din syempre. gift ni Lord
enough yung person he/she can yun eh
decide what is right or appropriate I: so para sa iyo hindi angkop sa iyo
on the other hand kapag di ganun ka ung ganoon..sologamy?
mature, nahihirapan sa pagcome up R: I think sologamy for me is a being
ng mga ganitong decision e.g Cant selfish and it is an opposite of being
handle the situation properly a Christian. kc sologamy self
leading to bad decisions. centered lang ang pinahahalagahan
R: can you site those differences sa niya eh.
belief na hindi nagkakaunawaan? I: at naklikita mo na mas pleasing sa
I: ganu ka na katagal na walang ka isang tao ung magkaroon ng
relasyon? relationship because of the
R: mga 7mos. na siguro. ka officemate experienced na makukuha mo by
ko kasi siya. kaya siguro loved
nahihirapan akong makahanap ng R: for me, you dont need to love
iba.kasi nakakasama ko pa siya yourself alone. Mas masarap pa din
araw araw sa trabaho. sa pakiramdam ang mag mahal.
I: Ahh I see..kanina natanung kita I: so it matters sa iyo ung biblical
kung may any idea ka about principle about having relationship?
sologamy? R: yes.
R: wala akong idea dyan eh I: anu ba ung implication pag self-
I: sologamy concept of marrying centered ka?
one’s self as in thru ceremonial R: walang pinagkaiba ang sologamy sa
marriage and notwithstanding its love of money for me.
legal implications. you remain I: How self-centeredness defines
single (no relationaship with quality of life? para siyo tol.. kung
somebody else)-devoting your life bakit against ka sa sologamy?
just being single. kung ganun..How R: para saken ha. hnd ka magiging
do you feel about the idea of masaya ng lubos pag sarili mo lng
sologamy? ang mahal mo. you need to love
R: hndi naman. kelangan ko pa din somebody pa den eh. and later on
syempre ng makakapareha. hindi two person will become one sa
ganyan. masarap ang magmahal at pamamagitan ng kasal
I: so you cannot attain full happiness sologamy? para sayo masama ba o
in life if you remain single? tama ba mabuti ang sologamy? Hehe
tol? i mean ung R: Sa sarili kong pananaw its a choice
sologamy ..sologamy doesnt give eh. We are product ng mga pinipili
way for happiness for you? natin sa buhay.. being sologamous
R: yes. does it define how good or bad a
I: kasi sa iba kaya nila kinocommit person is..
pagiging single nila ay dahil masaya I: life is always a choice eh. kc ikw
sila..what do you think of that? ang gagawa at pipili ng magiging
R: kala lng nila yun. defense buhay mo eh. hnd ibang tao
mechanism lng nila yun. kasi sa R: as long as hindi niya naapakan yung
mga nangyari siguro sa mga karapatan ng ibang tao. pero di pa
previous relationship nila. tapos ang kabanata..hahhaa hayaan
I: so for you sologamy is an escape for natin ang Panginoon magpasya sa
unpleasant event sa past buhay natin kung anung tama o
relationship nila? hindi.
R: yup. Tumpak I: tama ka naman dyan. it will not
I: last question na po. define a person eh. for biblically
R: Do you think the notion of speaking siguro hindi siya tama.
sologamy will work in Filipino opinyon ko to ha. hehe
settings? R: going back bro to make it clear so it
I: depende kc. lalo sa religion belief sologamy is not applicable for
ng isang tao. gaya ko. bilang Filipinos? tama ba? in your
kristiyano hnd ako sang ayon sa opinion...because of predominant
sologamy eh. religion natin?
R: and most of the Filipinos are I: depende tlaga tol eh. pero siguro sa
christians per se.. what do you culture natin hindi siguro. di ba nga
think? sabi mo kasi Christian country tyo
I: I dont think so. kasi for sure yung eh.
ibang mga katoliko or ibang R: so kapag Christian country tayo
religion sasang ayon dyan sa pinahahalagahan natin ang isang
sologamy eh. pero as a christian relationship? tama ba?
hindi. ikw tol sang ayon ka ba sa I: Syempre.
R: ah...okay tol maraming salamat sa
time. God bless ulit.. cge pahinga ka my own. Im not financially stable
na.. too, so being married in this age
could be hard for me. Im still
RESPONDENT: M2 enjoying my "me time" when you
RESPONDENT: SHAN LONGNIPE can still do things you like when
(NOT REAL NAME), MALE 25, BANK your all alone
CLERK R: anu ba para sa iyo ung being a
INTERVIEWER: MARK JESON RUSIA single?
I: First of all, syempre civil status.
R: Ah..pwede ka bang mainterview a And if not having a live in partner.
couple of minutes po? may R: how about yung in a relationship
ginagawa kasi akong research about status pero hindi pa kasal o nag
sologamy, leleave in. does it considered as
I: Go lang sir single po?
R: so ang purpose nito to identify if the I: For me single ka pa, if you and your
concept of sologamy appealing to nililigawan hasnt been committed to
Filipinos to give you bakcground each othe Youre not single if youre
sologamy is self marriage- already committed to that person.
singlehood,, devoting your self as R: you said single ka kapag dika pa
being single for rest of your life. committed sa isang tao..then how
I: Parang kinasal ka sa sarili mo? .. would you define that
Yun nga sabi ng google sir committment? ganu yung degree ng
R: Proceed tayo..I will give you five committment para masabi mo na in
question. WHY ARE YOU a relationship na siya at dina siya
SINGLE? by the way..in a single
relationship ka ba ngayon? ilang I: It can be one sided love din kase sir
taon ka na ba Shine at anu work mo? there's still a.risk for being pinaasa
I: May nililigawan sir hahahaha Pero ka.lang.during nanliligaw stage ka.
di pa kame 23 sir Portfolio analytics Kaya pagkaganon considered as
analyst risk management grp. single ka pa din Hanggang wala ka
Robinsons bank corp . Im single pang pinanghahawakan etc.
because right now im not yet R: let me clear po so commitment in
matured enough to be a family on terms of may mutual feelings na
kayo sa isat-isa yun ba ung level to R: going back to the ist question which
say that you are not anymore single? I raised before.. sabi mo single ka
I: Yes sir. At least medyo assured ka kasi you are not matured enough for
na. Yung hindi ka magtataka na having a family right? isa sa dahilan
isang araw nakahanap na agad ng po why you remain single is you are
pamalit sayo porket wala kayong not yet ready for having a family on
label your own tma po ba?
R: okay I see. yung committment ba ay I: Yes sir, if youre going to be in a
masasabi mo kapag may label na relationship youll see your future
kayo? with her. That eventually would led
I: Hindi naman necessary sir, label to marriage anf family
lang sir. Basta sure kayong masaya R: anu ba ung mga intances na
kayo sa isat isa at alam mong shes masasabi mo you are matured
the one, and youre the one for her. anough for having a family of your
Pede ng maconsidered na own...?
committed in love I: Matured mentally sir. Yung mga
R: ah..so for you thats how determines immaturities mo mawala, mga
being ina ralationship and not tampuhan na madalas maglead sa
anymiore single. depression etc. Yung understanding
I: Yes sir, My POV Point of view nyo sa isat isa ibanh level na. You
R: so you have the same feelings for both understand na you're both busy
each other kapag nandun na kayo but at the end of the day
you considered to be in a responsibilities muna then financial
relationship level..not anymore stability before settling down
being single? R: so sa attitude at sa decision making
I: Yes sir. For me dapat mutual Not nakabase tama po ba?
unrequitted love or one sided love I: Yes po.
Na napipilitan lang sya sa R: how does being financially stable
pangliligaw mo etc nakaapekto sa iyo thats why you are
R: ah so ito yung mga intances na still single?
tinutukoy mo? anu pa po? I: Ipon sir. Syempre you would have
I: Yun lang sir. Base on true events dates and mga gala with your
yan pa lang naman. Wag naman nililigawa So matik may gastos
sana mabokya pa Then syempre if deep relationship
na Or matagal na kayo Tatanyahin R: so para sa iyo nagmamatter din and
nyo pa din budget/ income nyo to preparation (financially ) before
build your own family entering a relationship..so di ka
R: so financial stability is a mean of papasok sa level ng in a relationship
preparation? if you are not prepared enough
I: Di naman basta basta gastos lang. financialy?
Money matters din and life style I: Sa akin sir yes. Syempre
nyo nakakadegrade naman yun, ikaw
R: this is one of your determinant to nanliligaw tas sya magbabayad ng
enter "in a relationship status" buong bills nyo Yung ganun ba sir
I: Yes sir for your future. Or kahit hahahhaa.
simple broke lang. Wag mong R: Oh I see.. Im still enjoying my "me
ibigay lahat ng funds mo baka scam time" when you can still do things
lang HAHAHAHAHA. eh kung you like when your all alone- pwede
mahal mo nga sya, pero sobrang mo bang ma ipaliwanag ung ibig
yaman naman nya. Tas kinausap ka sabihin ng me time ?
ng fam nya regarding sa sweldo I: Me time or Alone time. Doing the
amd work mo things that makes you happy While
R: papanu kung may mutual feelings youre single. Manuod ng sine mag
kyo sa isat-isa tapos di naman kayo isa. Magdota with friends enjoying
financially stable does it your self, choosing to be happy with
disqualifies your perception og yourself Thats the "me time"
being a single? masaya ka sa pagiging single Hindi
I: So kahit papano dapat you know mo naiisip ang love life.
whats your going into Not naman R: so pag being in a relationship may
sir, yung akin lang before going in a mga gawain kang di na magagawa
relationship dapat sure ka sa before na nakakapagpasay sa iyo?
papasukan mo. Pinalaki kasi ako sa as single?
dapat alam mo ang consequence of I: Fulfilling ang buhay mo kahit wala
your actions Kumbaga dapat try to kang relasyon kase ginagawa mo
see your future, kung sarili mo nga yung things na nagbibigay
di mo mabuhay sabgusto mo, tas kasiyahan sayo.
papasok ka pa sa relasyon
R: o isa sa factor why you are still R: okay..How do you feel the idea
single kasi napapasaya mo ang sarili about sologamy?
mo? I: Its not a bad thing naman sir. Being
I: Yes sir single can be a choice or being
R: anu anu pa ba yung mga me time na destined. For me good sya basta
nagbibiay kasiyahan sa iyo thats youre fullfiling your dreams and
why you are still single? passion in life Masaya ka sa
I: Being with friends, gala, soul pamangkin/inaanak mo Job mo
searching adventure, Computer Community works. Giving
games, Work? Hahahaha Ganon sir yourswlf to others without asking
For me lang naman. for anything
R: so kapag in a relationship ka how R: so para siyo okay lang ang
this affect yung me time mo? sologamy?
I: Mawawalan syempre. Dati masaya I: Wag lang mawawalan ng hopes to
ka sa 8 hrs ng computer games or live for, wag papadaig sa depression
anime movie marathon. Tas ngayon and anxiety while being single.
eating/dating with your partner. Being happy with what God gives
Need mong magtxt parating and you on your single Status.
chat So basically need mong Fulfilment sir yes. Kaso
magbawas sa ginagawa mo nung naghahanap pa ko ng fulfillment not
single ka. Effect nya sir is, pede in carreer but in business. Di ko pa
kang matuto to be more responsible. nahahanap passion ko in what
Tanggalin ang mga vice/vise mo sa business ventures.
katawan. Ayun yung good na " me R: basta may sense of fulfillment sa
time" na pedeng couple time na mga nabanggit..
R: how do you see yung me time mo? I: Yes sir.
di ba siya pwedeng pa couple time R: Do you think the notion of
kaya yioure not in relationship pa? sologamy will work in Filipino
I: Pede naman sir kaso coconsider mo setting?
din yung work and inuuwian nya. I: Yes naman po, if open minded na
Time constraints yung mga judgmental na mga tao
R: so mas matimbang yung posibleng R: how do you say na judgemental sila
negative effect nun sa kanya? for instance?
I: Yes po.
I: Yung mga phrase na "sungit nyan dalaga/binata yan. Tas pag magte 30
kase menopasual na at walang ka na sa age specially babae. Uy
asawa" hanapan kitang jowa para makapag
R: so yung you refer sa mga prejudice asawa ka na Mga nbsb/ngsb na puro
nila toward being single for entire reto sa dates Yung ganon sir. Maalis
life? lang yung mga pamrerresure ng
I: Matanggal lang yung mga ganong family and friends You have your
thinking sa tingin ko pede naman. If time Its your decision naman Po.
wala kang fam your true friends will R: sa panahon natin ngayon mag wo-
do Yes sir yung mga ganong work kaya?
judgment ng tao For instances Prof. I: Sologamy? It depends sa
Na mahilig mambagsak na perspective ng tao. Judgment nila
matandang walang asawa. yun. But pag sa point of view mo
R: so tingin mo may mga Pilipino Wala kang ginagawang masama at
ganun yung pagiisip towards wala kang sinasaktan na tao Its ok
individual who remain single? Basta you had a purpose in life And
I: "Sasabihan ng wala awa palibhasa fulfilling it at the most.
walang asawat anak" Yes naman sir R: so sa tinging mo may
depende po sa mind set ng tinuturo pagkajudgemental ang Filipino
sa atin habang bata pa tayo. kaya in general di magwowork ang
R: so it will work in Filipino setting sologamy sa tin? maliban na lang na
given that mabawasan yung mawala ito.?
ganitong thinking natin? I: Kahit naman sa bangko For
I: Yes naman sir And also promoting instances yung loan Mas ipapasa ka
Yung elderly ng dswd Social care nila sa loan kung kasal ka Kesa
R: in general ba para sa iyo papanu ba single Kasi may magbabayad ng
tinitgnanng mga Pilipino yung mga loan mo.
taong nanatiling single? R: What else po?
I: Parang napapabayaan kase sa pinas I: yun lan po.
compare sa other countries Una sir, R: Salamat po.
sa babae Pag mid 30's na Nako wala
na to tatandang dalaga na to
Mahihirapan ng manganak yan
kung mag aasawa pa yan Tatandang
RESPONDENT: M3 I: Yeah. personally, there are girls that
RESPONDENT: ED NOPISTRAC (NOT come onto me, there are girls that
REAL NAME), 27 , TEACHER outirght confess, and asks me on
INTERVIEWER: MARK JESON RUSIA date. That's where my upbringing
values come in kasi it's easy to get
R: Are you single? into a fling and flirt with someone
I: Yes po but I was raised by a woman who
R: Have you been in relationship was on the other end of that kind of
before? lackadaisical action, and I
P: None personally don't want to do that to
R: Why are you single? anyone. hahaha siyempre pag
I: In my case, it's in my personality nakikipag social ka, di nmn
and upbringing. introvert raised in a maiiwasan yung ganun heh kaya
broken household with a firm belief nga ewan ko lng kung magiging
that relationships are not something trend yan sologamy na yan unless
to be played with extreme case that's not impossible,
R: Introvert type, how it affects kaya xempre
you remain single? R: Going back to introversion have
I: Being introvert does have a factor in you considered this a helpful
me, personally, being single disposition for you to build
because being introverted means relationship in your own case?
not being able to express yourself I: It's both a positive and a negative.
socially, not having enough Positive because overthinking
confidence socially and you also prevents you from jumping into any
think a lot. you tend to overthink, relationship born of a moment, and
idealize the "perfect relationship", negative because it does limit your
and you tend to evaluate and make outlook on life.
up your mind before anything R: oh I see..still it helps you on that
actually happens. way.. how would you characterize
R: oh I see..is there any chance in you yung mga "relationship born of a
as being introverted to get into moment"? ibig sabihin ba nun hindi
relationship? what would be those healthy for you yung ganung
conditions? relationship?
I: yeah, yung in the long term di mo magpakasal, d b. ituloy ang angkan.
ikakasaya like how I saw my mother haha
slowly lose herself out of her R: sige, aside dun sa value na ayaw mo
cheating husband's ways na nilalaro lang ang isang
R: okay...so yung relationships which relasyon..how do you define
is born in the moment-yun ba yung relationship? what is your values or
mga mga jowa tapos kasal na? principles when it comes to
madalian na pagpasok sa isang relationships?
relasyon na dumaan sa certain I: wait "relationship" as in some1 in a
stages of evaluation e.g (like getting relationsghip, no? i guess in simple
to know period) terms, someone you're compatible
I: yeah, yung fleeting ung attraction. with. someone you like around as
Haha your company, to be around with,
R: and it does in a long term of and someone you can trust that
commitment form that relationship when the "feeling of love" lessens,
may unfavorable consequences..e.g you still feel you want to be with
just like you had said..tendency of them. hahahaha parang kaibigan o
unfaithfulness... kapatid pero something more
I: yeah, personally, I know parents intimate between the two of you.
that really express love and wait "relationship" as in some1 in a
compatability up until their 60s, relationsghip, no?
while I have parents in their 20s not R: yes.. pero parang preference
talking and basically just being kasi..what I mean what is your
together for their kids, which still values when it comes to
affects their kids, di ba?.haha relationships?
R: Proceed tayo.pangalawa sa values I: what I like in a woman ba?
upbringing..kasi values enculcated R: initially yes sige proceed tayo..
to us creates principles na ginagamit I: Personally, i don't have a checklist
natin bilang pamantayan o of things I like in a girl. A strong
standards on how we relate to or attraction is where i start.
evaluate outside world..just like you R: by the way for you ano yung
mention earlier. hinahanap mo sa isang relasyon?
I: yeah, kaya di papatok si sologamy I: Yun nga compatability lang tlga. if
kasi nga ingrained sa atin n she can stand with me at my worst,
and I can tolerate her at her worst, R: I dont have idea about that. pero
then OK. i think medyo evident na may mga nauuso na nga sa tin
di ako romantic, noh? hahaha ngayon ung g mga grupo ng mga
R: How do you feel about sologamy? singles may mga gathering and
I: I don't like the idea of sologamy. it activities sila. pero dun din naman
sounds like an excuse. Again, try sa grupo nila may
mo search ang "thin privelege" and nagkakatuluyan..mapipigilan ba
cultural appropriation, the idea of yun? hahaha
sologamy sounds like it came from I: parang singles for christ noh but
tumbler where any excuse if yeah, we seek groups kasi and
entertained as serious fact o kaya relationships, so sologamy is an
ung term na "headspace", nakaka extreme idea para sa isang pinoy
irita un"headspace""headmates" R: Where in fact..sa sikolohiyang
pala. , we seek groups kasi and Pilipino - Filipino is consider as
relationships, so sologamy is an Social Identity- core value natin ung
extreme idea para sa isang pinoy. "KAPWA". kaya nga tol.. this
And culturally, no, filipino are very research leads to further
social. we are known for being research..may nagbabago ba sa
social. we are known for being pananaw ng mga Pilipino in the near
friendly, and we are also very future with regards their perception
religious. we personally take to as being single? (remain single.
heart that love is a gift from god and ngayong masydao tayong buaks sa
cultural pressure and religious western influences thru media..
pressure urges us to be married I: yeah, di ba. again it's not
someday. while the advent of social impossible. kasi ang idea ng suicide
media and the internet has sa cultre ntin extreme din eh pero
introduced different ideology and prevalent n siya ngayon
cultures into our mix, filipino are R: sarap pag aralan ng mga factors ng
very stubborn for change. sologamy pagbabago na ito..in the near
could be a passing trend, because future...actually wala pa kasing
filipinos like being "in trend" but it study nito sa
kinda goes against their values and Philippines...pioneering ito..kaya
beliefs, unless they personally don't hirap sa local rl's
give those aspects much weigh
I: good luck sa inyo. ganyan tlga UP. ka pa? You're at this age?" and then you
sosyal pti sa SPED pioneer eh UP start thinking about it. But in a day to day
eh. hahaha sense, you're not conscious of being single
naman eh. We are born single so it should
RESPONDENT: N1
be a normal thing.
Key Informant Interview on Sologamy #1 -
N: Has you view about singlehood changed
NikkaG
given your personal experiences? Or is your
Key Informant Profile:
view about singlehood being a natural
- Male
occurrence--has that always been your
- 27 years-old
view? May nagbago ba sa opinion mo about
- Legally single
singlehood given whatever personal
- Employed as an R&D Engineer at a
experiences you've had like your from your
multinational company; Graduate student at
previous relationship?
UP Diliman
I: I think it's pretty much the same. In a
Guide: (N) - Interviewer [Nikka G.] (I) –
way, you just return to an original state. The
Informant
thing is, no man is an island naman. We are
creatures of relationship. Not only
N: Have you been in a relationship before?
romantically-confined but we exist more or
I: Yes.
else on a plain that is very reliant on
N: For how long?
interpersonal relationship. If it is a romantic
I: Seven years.
form of departure from being single, which
N: What is your general view about
I think this is about, then it's pretty much
singlehood?
the same. Single ka-- come to think of it.
I: When you say general view, what do you
Ngayon ko nga lang naisip: is there such a
mean?
thing as single ka noon, single ka pa rin
N: Do you think it's something you could
ngayon.
do for a long time? Do you prefer to be in a
N: Is it? Kasi for instance, I think that prior
relationship most of the time? What is your
to my entering a relationship, my view
view about singlehood?
about singlehood is basically just
I: Well, being single is a pretty normal
commitment to self development. You're
thing. We are born single. Some of us die
single because you want to work on a lot of
single. I think singlehood becomes a
things about who you are and how you
problem or you start to dwell on it one, due
intend to be the kind of person you want to
to peer pressure. They'd say "Bakit single
be by the time and if or should you enter
into a relationship. I got into a relationship, Well, in fact, it can be true to some people
I forgot about singlehood. Then I became that it never happens. It's a way of life.
single, and I realized it's all the same. But Singlehood as way of life or as a choice, for
the degrees of how you take it seriously various reasons, is a valid thing. In the same
differs. Because you start gaining way that being singlehood as a phase for
perspective in such a way na meron na something else.
akong nagagawa ngayon na hindi ko N: Are you familiar of the concept of
nagagawa before. There are things that I sologamy?
appreciate now than I did when I was still I: No. To be honest, this is first time I've
in a relationship so nag babago yung heard about it. It does sound so first world.
perspective mo about what it means to be N: In your research about it, what did you
single. But of course, with appreciation learn a lot about sologamy? Or not so
comes the things you miss about being in a much?
relationship. So I kind of see or compare I: Not so much. But the general idea, I
singlehood as an experience in that plane. think, is they tend to believe na they can
For you, prior to and after you got out of a only commit to themselves.
relationship, is it all the same? N: The paper is actually looking into the
I: I think I agree doon sa point na you get a possibility of sologamy, or the act of self
change of perspective once you've come marriage as in with an actual ceremony
forma l relationship whether long term or involved, appealing to the changing
short term. But the gravity of how you dynamics in Philippine society. We make
perceive the meaning. . . Like what you that distinction because sologamy can be
said, some tend to see being single as a defined as someone committing to
means of self improvement. For post themselves. You don't necessarily have to
breakup people, they use it as a time for self have a ceremony for that. But then, anyone
love. I don't know about other people who can do that kasi, anyone can be a sologamist
are not so much into romantic relationships in that sense. When you actually have a
kasi there are single people who are single ceremony to formalize, if not to legalize
simply because they want to. And I don't since that's another thing, would that
have a perspective on that kasi I never had actually appeal to Filipinos. What do you
a view na I want to be single just because I think about that notion--you marrying
can. To me, being single was certainly a yourself?
stage of life, a part of life, which has a For one thing, I would. . the basic question
transition period towards something else. I'd be curious about is why don't you want
to get married? And the answers that we colleagues who are about our age, they tend
encounter naman is that some are not ready to consider more the material requisites for
or more on psychosocial like hindi ko pa that. So there's a sense of practicality into it.
nahahanap, parang ganoon. Sa akin kasi, In that sense, I don't see sologamy as
even when I was in a relationship, it was not something that would hit in the Philippines.
more on the psychosocial but more on the I don't see that line of reason in a sense na
economic level. Which I think most people yes, hindi ka magpapakasal for practical
share these days. You don't want to get purposes, but why would you want to
committed to that extent because of the actually marry yourself?
economic considerations. It's important na N: Taking off from that point: do you see
you have material foundations first--at least sologamy appealing to Filipinos given yung
I'm that kind of person. So it matters-- that structures ng Philippine society about
material preparation for that kind of family and marriage vis a vis the
commitment which I think most people observation na mas marami ng Pilipno ang
share these days. So when I look at the case pinipiling wag magpakasal? Because we
of Japan, for instance, the context was such know that Filipinos are hinged on family
that people keep delaying marriage or they centredness, na you have to get married so
do not get married at all because of their you can have kids because otherwise no one
economic problems. Japan is in a slump will take of you when you grow old. Would
right now and then there is this sologamy appeal to us or is it a stretch?
phenomenon called hypergamy where I: Let's look at this from the side of the
women tend to look for men who have Filipino values and culture. The nuclear
higher education, who are wealthy with family and the extended family set up in the
more stable jobs, and for aesthetic purposes Philippines. For someone to think about
taller than them. Hypergamy as in you "up" sologamy, sa tignin ko, you have had to be
everything. So dahil nahihirapan silang exposed to a certain level of education or
makahanap ng ganoon, given their certain discourse and arguments which I
economy right now, they keep on delaying think hindi pa masyadong nandito sa
marriage because the bottomline is mahirap Pilipinas. Kaya ko naisip na napaka first
magpa kasal or mag anak. world niya. I don't know, wala pa naman
I think is it also or it may be coming a trend tayo sa stage na we are so atomic. They say
here in the Philippines. I am not sure if that as a society advances towards more
anyone has made research about it but advanced form of economic development,
people I tend to meet, like friends and post industrial, post high mass consumption
stage if you as using Maslow, society tends have this YOLO-esque notion, it's practical
to be atomized. This is what happened in for them to be living alone.
Japan that's why their literature figured so N: To an extent of marrying yourself?
much on loneliness and the modern life; the I: No. This is where the context of the
individual was so much disjointed with Philippines comes in. Una, hindi kasi pasok
society and everyone else. That is basically yung ganoong construct in which you want
their cultural experience. In here, I don't see to be independent to point na you would
so much about the Filipino becoming want to marry yourself. I don't see that
atomized. Are we dealing with the issue of coming or appealing here in the
wanting to be alone or to be separate? I Philippines. Hindi eh. It is really more on
don't think so. Hindi pa ganoon ka the . .Sige, let us use the Western discourse.
advanced yung society natin in a sense. Those in the West at some point have a
Yung concept ng family or companionship more advanced social configuration; too
is still very strong. I would tend to think that atomized na naka separate ka na nga from
sologamy trend would appeal more to society, kaya pa niyang mag isolate?
people who are at a certain level of Something like that. It can also be a
economic status, who have different generation thing. Post millennials tend to
priorities, those at the mid management want to own their places for the sake of
level in their careers I think may want to independence. Because of the freedom they
consider. are experiencingright now. Or technology.
N: You think that economic independence That's their culture already diba? I guess
or a lack thereof is a factor that would most there is a certain appeal to being alone but
likely influence the way Filipinos view the not to a point na you would marry yourself.
idea of self marriage? It's kind of absurd in a way na it's something
I: To an extent. For practical reasons, I that would be unconventional at least in the
guess. I'm discounting here the Philippine setting. Babalik ako sa pinang
psychosocial part na you have traumatic galingan ng concept ng sologamy. It was
relationships before so you do not want to born out of a society that is already
get married. That's something else entirely. economically advanced. In Maslow's self
But for someone who wants to keep up with actualisation, what are you even trying to
living the life, it would be more practical. fulfill really? But come to think of it-- kasi
Trying to see it objectively--you are at a I am trying to think about yung
certain position, you are earning, you may phenomenon na yun. That if the time
comes, would we come to that? I'm thinking
about it in terms of the fact na among Asian N: So in a way, the possibly of sologamy
countries, we are one of the most inclined appealing to the Philippine setting may be
to the US or American experience. So if you dependent on class and economic
ask me kung in time mag kakaroon kaya or development?
would appeal sa atin? Siguro wala pa tayo I: That's one perspective, yes. Kasi it can
sa tipping point where majority at a certain also be an existential thing--the notion of
age group would be dominant for us to actually marrying yourself. Like you want
transition to that. Kasi most of the so-called to give validation for yourself or giving
millenials pa din naman are different from meaning to your singleness kasi wala ka
the latter group na. I think we still retain the talagang mahanap. And that's it, I want to
values that the previous generation had eh. be a sologamist. Parang ganoon eh.
Maybe those from Europe are already at N: Categorically speaking, you don't see
that tipping point. But for us, not so much. sologamy appealing to Filipinos?
Even the ceremony. Why would you I: Kasi naman yung configuration ng
actually need a ceremony as a way of family life in the First World tend to be less
saying you commit to yourself? Kaya nga detached. Sa atin kasi, at least in my
parang the phenomenon to me seems more opinion, most of us live with our
of an exaggeration almost to an egoistic or families/parents. We still live with them.
narcisisstic sense. An extreme form. Parang We only leave the house if we are settling
without the ceremony or the phenomenon down thru marriage diba? So I think it
of sologamy itself, you can be self- exists to a certain niche in the West. But
committed. Right now, I think it's sologamy as in a concept that is feasible
something some would even go as far as to here in the Philippines, no, not so much.
say it's a capricious thing. One that in a
RESPONDENT: N2
developing country you won't even
Key Informant Interview on Sologamy #2 –
consider. Kung ritual lang naman ang gusto
NikkaG
mo, it is not practical. Kaya nga it's kind of
Key Informant Profile:
like a First World problem. Siguro hintayin
- Female
natin na maging economically advanced
- 23 years-old
tayo. But without going further into
- Legally single
sologamy, at least the trend towards the
- Employed as a project associate in a
postponement of marriage, I believe is
research/think tank agency
increasingly traction among people of this
generation.
Guide: (N) - Interviewer [Nikka G.] (I) – the relationship. It's just that hindi naman
Informant porket you enter
into a relationship, you have to sacrifice
N: Have you been in a relationship before? your whole life for it. Because for me, yes
I: Yes. you can be in a relationship but you still
N: For how long? have a life outside of that. It was really fun
I: Two years. that relationship, but it was also very toxic.
N: What is your general view about After namin mag hiwalay, I actually came
singlehood? Has your view about back to my own self wherein being single
singlehood changed given your personal was better. Being single is better because
experiences? hindi pala talaga completely okay yung ex
I: Ever since I was young, ayoko talagang ko with me not fitting the whole expected
ma associate with boys. I think it was view of society sa akin as a woman because
because of my parents and their relationship ang dami kong gustong i-achieve.
was, for me, was never really an ideal Apparently that's good but it isn't what he
example for a child. Because I always see wanted. He really insisted on me fulfilling
them fight. It remains a mystery to me until this role where women are supposed to be
now kung bakit sila parin. They've subversive of men; that we are supposed to
beenmarried for more than 20 years now give up a big chunk of our lives when we
and with the way they fight, I don't know commit ourselves to men.
how they can still stand each other. So I So ever since that's relationship, it's been
grew up thinking that men will only give six years, I've never been bothered about
you headache. I'd rather not spend time in being single. I'm okay with being single
them; to just be the strong, independent because I like doing things on my own,
woman na yun yung ideal ko. I don't need where and when I want to do it. Well, siguro
men and I will survive on my own. But that at least until recently because I started
changed nung I entered my first going out again. But then, I guess because
relationship. This guy kasi he always I'm also not getting any younger, I've
assured me that he was comfortable with become more careful about it. Na yes, this
me being like that-- ambitious, very goal person can make me happy but then if he
driven. It's not na inuuna ko yung sarili ko doesn't get his life together, it's not going to
but that was how I wanted to raise myself work and it's only going to give me a
na I set these goals for myself because I headache. And also because hindi ko rin
know I can do it and not at the expense of mabitawan yun freedom, yung
independence, the stress free life when you this relates in a way sa experience ng
are single because you don't have to attend parents ko. Pero andun din kasi yung
to anyone. ngayon kung bakit mas okay sa akin
N: So In a way, kung ano yung na cultivate maging single kasi I started earning money
mo na view about singlehood growing up on my own at quite a young age. There's
and despite the fact that you've had this effect na yung I can spend my money
romantic relationships in the past, you can however I want, on whatever I like, and
say for certain that you view about spend it for my family. If I compare this to
singlehood remains the same? Nag bago or I start thinking about getting into a
lang when you were in a relationship pero relationship, alam kong I need to start
bumalik din sa dati once it was over? actually allocating that for dating and being
I: Yes, I believe so. in a relationship. This is less about not
N: You mentioned something about the having the resources, but more about the
kind of exposure you've had as a child as to economic independence or being able to
what relationships are. So mas preferred or spend or have resources for the things na
you can categorically say na yes I am okay you know for a fact are what gives you a
with singlehood? It's a state that you genuine sense of fullfilment.
imagine youself being into for the next few N: Have you ever encountered the term
years or so? Are you still open to the idea sologamy?
of marriage? I: No, not yet.
For the next few years siguro, I think I N: There are two ways of defining
prefer to be single. Maybe unless some sologamy. Some define it as an act of self
magic happens. But seriously, yung sa pag love, act of self affirmation. There are also
tanda na, as in when you marry and all? those that take the concept to another level
Kasi in the Philippine seting, since wala pa by defining it as an act of self-marriage.
rin taying divorce up to this day, people This is most dominant in Europe and there
expect us to grow old with that person. So I have been cases of na may ceremonies
think hanggang getting into a relationship talaga and all that. The paper looks into that
or companionship lang yung kaya ko. particular aspect of sologamy. I mean, we
Marriage medyo may reservations kasi it is think that anyone can always say na I'm a
such a big commitment and a bigger sologamist because I love myself. But then,
responsibility to take on. I mean, we have can someone take that to a level na literally
legal separation or annulment as an option papakasalan mo yung sarili mo. Now, what
pero there is practically no way out. I think do you think, and also coming from your
background as a Sociology major, about marrying yourself? Or even the possibility
that notion in particular? Well, I think it's a of sologamy as a trend taking root here in
very brave thing to do. I mean, I'm okay the Philippines?
with being single. But to marry yourself? And since this whole separation between
Especially in the Philippine context? It's Church and State in the Philippines is
very brave because we all know that the basically a scam, we can expect na
institution of marriage and family for mahihirapan rin ang government to make
Filipinos is very strong and really intact. policies that would actually take or
Sometimes I actually hate how true that is accommodate self marriage into
because I think it gets to a point na this consideration. I mean, just look at the case
strong and intact Filipino traditions about of pushing for LGBTQI legal rights and
marriage dictate everything we do. Parang that by itself it pretty much self-explanatory
your family would always have an opinion diba? So in choosing to marry yourself,
about everything you do. And for you to yung legal security mo rin will be affected.
marry yourself. . . I mean, people marry for This is why I say if a person here in the
a variety of reasons. Philippines does that, in case it actually
If you marry yourself, what kind of becomes a trend, it's a brave move given all
mobility in society ang makukuha mo? these considerations because yung security
You're still just you after that. So feeling ko mo in all aspects will really be affected. It's
that's a factor-- yung mobility or yung a very novel thing, and it is something that
chance me for mobility in the social class or will really be difficult to start here in the
heirarchy possibleng mawala na agad with Philippines. You will even need innovating
you marrying yourself. Also, dahil very or redoing a lot of things in our system.
widespread pa rin ang Catholicism dito, it's Kaya if you want to do self-marriage in the
also possible that the Church is going Philippine context, you have to think really
to shame you. I can say that as a Catholic. hard on it there serious and even long-
They are going to shame you especially if lasting repercussion for it.
you are a woman. It's already so bad how N: In terms of what you know about
some people think women are not supposed Filipinos values or our customary views
to be career oriented or goal driven who about marriage and building a family kasi
doesn't want a man to serve in her life. What these are really embedded in our society, do
more the possible shaming or the backlash you think the notion of sologamy will
na matatanggap mo if you make that appeal to Filipinos or are there factors that
statement of you actually committing to by
may or may not affect the possibility of RESPONDENT: R1
sologamy appealing to Filipinos? RESPONDENT: SHIGEMI
I: Actually, I do think there is a potential MURAMATSU
for sologamy to attract. I just don't know INTERVIEWER: REUBEN JAMES
what will happen or if our society is ready BARRETE
for the possible consequences. In terms of
factors, let's admit it, mahirap talaga ang R: Good afternoon! I’m Shigemi
buhay ngayon. I hear a lot people tell stories Muramatsu, 24, female. Anong pang
about people who opt to stay single because kailangan? Single. No relationships.
they want to build their careers, they want I: Never?
to be economically and financially secure R: Hindi naman never.
so they sacrifice that. There is that one I: Okay sige. I have five questions for
aspect. At the same time, mental health you. So ang unang tanong ay, “Why
issues nowadays are gaining traction. We are you single?”
can also look at it from that perspective na R: Hindi naman sya taboo question,
choosing to love yourself can be considered ikaw naman. Why am I single?
a way of taking care of you not just Hmmm… by choice naman sya in a
physically but also mentally. And since sense na kapag.. I have that
sologamy in a way can be viewed as either perspective siguro of a relationship
a form of self love or one that requires a in a sense na.. ang tingin ko sa
ceremonial thing, I think dito sa Philippines kanya ay parang give and take.. Di
may concept naman ng self love as a way of ko nakikita ang sarili ko sa ganung
life. Siguro I can view sologamy as kind of relationship.. kasi ang conception
in a spectrum na on on end there is self love ng being in a relationship ay being
as a way of life and on the other, self love in love.. di ko kasi makita ang sarili
as in a commitment that involves a real ko na ganun. Di ko kasi alam kung
ceremony. Since progressive naman ang paano mo masasabing in love ka.
Filipino youth ngayon na mag isip, and if Parang sa ngayon kasi, there’s a
there comes a time na marrying yourself standard na implied kapag nasa
becomes like this accepted supreme form or relationship, na kapag nasa isang
manifestation ofself love, I think it is relationship, na may mga ganito
possible. kang responsibilidad.
So ngayon in terms of preference, I: Okay, second. Have you been
mas yung mga gusto kong gawin, involved in any kind of
yung mga objectives ko, lahat yun relationships before? Any kind of
in lined sa pagiging single. relationships you think na magma-
I: So you think na yung mga matter sa interview na to. Any kind
objectives and goals mo will not of relationship, pwedeng open,
happen if you’re in a relationship? undefined.
R: Oo. Parang feeling ko, magcacancel R: Oo. First relationship ever.. high
out ako kapag nasa relationship, school, first year, around 13 years
parang ganun. old, lasted for a week. Tapos next
I: Kasi you also have to think of the relationship was last 2008.. yeah
other person? 2008 that lasted for 6 months.
R: Oo, na parang isa yun sa mga hindi I: So 10 years ka nang single bakla!
ko kayang gawin, na to think of R: Oo 10 years na akong single. Yun
another person. Na hindi ko makita yung explicit.
ang sarili ko na may katambal ako, I: Na talagang romantic?
parang ganun. R: Hmmm oo.. I think so.
I: How do you define relationship? I: Kasi alam mo hanggang ngayon iba
Kasi pag relationship pwede naman kasi ang pagtingin mo sa relasyon
syang romantic, pwede din namang ng adult sa bata pa. Kasi 2008, ilang
hindi. Wala kang ganung naiisip? taon ba ko? 14 years old, my god.
R: Meron pero nandun siguro ako sa R: So did it change now?
stage na.. it’s a fairy tale like.. na I: I think so. Pag naiisip ko yung dati..
kung papasok man ako sa ganung di ba may mga tao na kapag pinag-
relasyon, ganung level. Which I uusapan nila yung, “Oh ikaw ilan na
don’t think is real. ang nagging boyfriend mo?” Meron
I: Okay. Is it safe to say na ano you silang mga sinasabing hindi nila
want to be in a relationship pero ang kino-consider kasi bata pa ako nun
standard mo ay perfect sya, na yung eh. Hindi ko pa alam. Ngayon, di ko
idea lang na yun ang kayang mong sya masabi. Kasi kung ang concept
matanggap? Pano ba? ko ngayon of being in a
R: May pagkaganun, oo may relationship, hindi sya suma-swak
pagkaganun. sa mga ano dati. Kasi alam mo yun
pag bata ka pa siguro, it’s more of
legalistic. Legalistic in a sense na I: Oo parang ganun.
may mutual agreement tayo na? R: Okay next question is.. Have you
“Ano tayo na?” Kaya mo heard about sologamy?
nasasabing kayo na kasi legalistic I: Hmmm oo. Based on your
sya. Pero ngayon kasi, more than understanding, ano ang sologamy?
that pa yung.. parang oo kayo na, R: Sologamy, yun na nga being
pero hanggan dun na lang ba yun? married to oneself.. parang dib a
Kumbaga ngayon mas mature. ‘marry’ is another term for
R: Third question… unification.. you are unified with
I: Wait… Pero yun yung sure na yourself in a sense that you accept
meron na pero meron din naman na hindi mo kailangan ng somebody
akong “undefined”. else.. do mo kailangan ng somebody
R: What do you mean? else to complete you through your
I: Pano ba?... May mga relasyong walk in life, quote and quote
hindi naman kayo pero parang kayo “complete”. Tas yung idea ko sa
yung trato nyo sa isa’t isa. kanya, kasi mayroong ganun scene
R: Hmmm.. so ibig mong sabihin yung sa Glee before, well yun na yung
walang label? pinaka-visual nya, yung
I: Oo walang label. College.. pinakasalan nya yung sarili nya.
R: Ano yun? Parang pareho kayong Well yung difference naman nun ay
nag-a-assume na meron, o sarili mo yun ay may seremonya syang
lang yung nag-a-assume na baka ginawa, pinakasalan nya sarili nya.
meron? Pero kasi dito if you can marry
I: Meron sabi nila. Na parang friends yourself.. is there such a term na
mo yung nagsasabi.. na si guy you can “divorce” from yourself?
nagsasabi sa mga friends nya, ako May ganun ba? Siguro oo meron.
nagsasabi sa mga friends ko. Pero I: So for you, if you commit yourself
kaming dalawa hindi nag-uusap to someone, by default parang you
about it. Hindi naming sya pinag- detach yourself from yourself? May
uusapan pero our friends know na ganun ba?
there’s something that’s going on. R: Siguro hindi detach, may additional.
R: So you also define it as a May nadadagdag.
relationship? Defined by the I: So parang you feel burden yun?
external?
R: Sa akin oo. As in di ko talaga Do you think it’s a thing nowadays?
nakikita ang sarili ko na may isang Ano sya parang it’s a generational
someone dyan na I am identified as choice compared sa generations
+1 na may someone. before?
I: Pero di ba ang traditional concept R: For me it’s generational,
ng marriage ay “two bodies become geographical and social.
one”.. hindi mo tinatanggap ang Generational in a sense, na yung age
ganung concept? ngayon.. kaya nagtatanong ako sa
R: Sa sarili ko hindi. Parang nagka- iyo kanina kung magtatry ba kayo
game kami nyan before. Yung game ng 20s, 30s, 40s,.. kasi wala tayo sa
is “What is love for you but…” So.. trend ngayon or wala tayo dun sa
ang sinagot ko nun ay “Do you era na, wherein maraming gyera na
believe in love but…” Ang sagot ko nagaganap na sobrang massive ng
nun ay “Yes I believe in love but it’s economic crisis, na okay mag
not for me.” Yun yung sinagot ko prioritize ka na maikli lang ang
dati/ buhay.. kailangan ko magka-
I: Why? pamilya, I have to have kids to
R: Kasi hindi ko talaga nakikita ang continue the generation ng family
sarili ko na needing to unify with ko, yung ganung pag-iisip. Life it
another person. Na ako na lagi too short to not spend your life with
akong may kakambal na isa pa, na someone else. Kasi minsan nakikita
ako na may kasama pa na isa pa. sya as guarantee na being secured
I: So parang the idea of you’re capable with the love that you have. Pero
of loving yourself instead of hindi. Yun yung first, generational.
someone loving you. So yung idea Second is opportunities. I don’t
mo ng love ay more of external? think na malaki ang percentage ng
Ano bay un? Layers of definition? mga tao, especially women at my
Layers of love? age na gustong maging single
R: Oo parang ganun. Oo, you loving forever. Sa for example sa rural
yourself pero you are also loving areas. Kasi for example, I live in
someone else. Parang you sharing Manila. I work at an international
your life with someone else also. organization. I had good
I: How do you feel about the idea of opportunity in terms of education.
sologamy? Do you think it’s okay? Parang ang daming opportunities
around you. Pwede ka mag-aral, I: Kasi marami syang choices? Na it’s
there’s a lot of growth in terms of one of the choices na pupwedeng
professional sa area na kung nasaan hindi sya piliin.
ako. In terms of the people I know, R: Exactly.
the network, malaki talaga ang I: Parang yung independence
opportunities na pwede kong i- nakakarelate ako dyan. May jowa
explore. Na feeling ko nandun yung ako, parang yung service na
attention ko ngayon, nandun yung ginagawa nya para sa akin, kaya ko
goals ko, yung wants ko. din namang gawin. So parang hindi
Social because I’m born in a bi- nya kailangang gawin. Anyway,
cultural family. Na-enforce ang magandang points for research yan.
sense of independence na sa tingin Last, do you think the notion of
ng marami, I had too much of it. sologamy will work in the Filipino
Ayaw ng family ko na magiging setting? It’s up to you how you’d
single ako forever pero kasi yung define it, would it be legal.. Pero
independence na tinuro nila sa akin feeling ko nga the question should
dito na punta. Na too independent to be, is it now happening eh. Pero kasi
be attracted to being married. for me it’s already happening, but
I: Maganda ang mga points mo kasi would it survive or thrive in the
kung ikaw ay nasa rural, walang future.
masyadong opportunities. R: Sa dami ng populasyon ng Pilipinas,
R: Yung mindset mo talaga is, kasi nga it could [laughs].. Ah pano ba? It
yung iba after grumaduate, parang could work in the Philippines if we
trabaho lang ng onti, tapos parang have that kind of generation or
the goal for them is to have a family. people that could go against
Saan mo nakita ang sarili mo in 10 tradition kasi it’s really..
years? May asawa may anak. Ako? unconscious bias sya eh.
By time of 34 siguro wala ako dito, Unconscious bias sya ng magulang
nasa ibang bansa ako. na hindi pupwedeng ang anak mo ay
I: The more opportunities na meron hindi mag-aasawa.
ang isang tao, the more na maaring Meron tayong connotation ng isang
di sya mag-asawa. “matandang dalaga” at laging
R: Oo. Factor sya. negative. “Ay tatanda syang dalaga,
ang description agad dyan ay
malungkot, masungit, laging galit, sagot agad ng iba, “Ay sabi nila
di ba? Wala pa tayo doon sa mahirap na daw manganak pag 30
panahon, na ang pagiging na or 40”. Parang laging
matandang dalaga ay hindi lang nya reproductive. Ako ba ang aking
sinunod yung timeline na matres?
nakagawian, na na-normalize, na Tapos iba din naman kapag wala
hindi nya sinunod yung desisyon ng kang plano at all. Parang “Pano pag-
ibang tao para sa kanya. She made nagbago ang isip mo nasa kwarenta
her own decision. She or he. ka na, di ka na mag-kakanak.” Hindi
May pagkakaiba kasi, pag lalaki ang pa din nawawala yung sense ng
hindi mag-asawa bakit parang mas biological.
okay lang? Pero bakit pag babae I: Totoo yun.
“matandang dalaga”? R: Ano nga ulit ang tanong mo? Will it
I: Ano yan mam, gender lens on work in the Philippines? My take is
sologamy. for as long as there’s a group of
R: Kasi di ba, I also have a friend na people battling against tradition.
he’s on his 35, although yes Since women ang laging inaatake sa
tinatanong sya ng magulang nya na, issue na ganyan, it would benefit the
between of us ako lagi ang women empowerment movement.
tinatanong. He is successful, na ang R: Okay. Thank you.
laging tanong sa kanya sa trabaho
nya, bakit hindi ka pa nag-aasawa,
pero kapag magkasama kami
parang iba yung tanong pag ako na.
I: Ah parang iba ang framing?
R: Oo na parang pag ako, “Ay ang
daming matatapon, ang daming
sayang.” Na parang “bakiiit?”
Nandun agad yung reaction, alam
mo yun. Kasi nga ini-equate agad
sya sa pagiging malungkot. Para
nga syang ano, may levels. Iba
kapag sinabing may balak ka mag-
asawa but not in your 20s.. ang

Goin Solo A Study On Singlehood and View

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Goin Solo A Study On Singlehood and View

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ANTHROPOLOGY 225 SECOND SEMESTER AY 2017-2018

Goin’ Solo: A Study on Singlehood

The Class of Anthropology 225

Edited by Nikka Garriga & Anton Sandoval

This paper examines the perceptions on contemporary Filipino singlehood and on

Background of the Study

II. REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

Family, relationships and singlehood in East and South-east Asia

Family, relationships and singlehood in Philippine society

III. THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

IPA employs an idiographic focus—which emphasizes the individual—and

• Why are you single?

Scope and Limitations

V. DATA ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION

ANNEX I: INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT) 7

Financial independence Acceptance of empowered women and LGBT

Past relationships Family upbringing

Family obligations More economic and academic opportunities

Distance from family Distance from family/society

Professional and academic goals

Lifestyle choice: individuality and empowerment

AN2: “Parang napapaisip na ako na parang ayoko naman, ayoko naman to be in a

Three respondents cited personal development goals, academic or professional, as more

K1: “I’m just focused on my personal development and achieving my personal

Ja3: “I am currently single because I do have self-imposed that as long as I don't

Economic status and family obligations

Financial stability is seen as a pre-requisite to marriage.

Note that, for one male respondent, biology is less of an issue.

Review of Related Literature).

ANALYSIS: ACCEPTANCE OF ‘SOLOGAMY’

Table 3: Quick Comparison of factors

Will Impractical/Unnecessary Religion

‘Sologamy’ will not work

‘Sologamy’ will not work: Personal

One respondent commented on the faulty philosophical underpinnings of ‘sologamy’.

‘Sologamy’ will not work: Social

‘Sologamy’ might work

‘Sologamy’ might work: Personal

‘Sologamy’ might work: Social

yung culture na we travel a lot, as in no borders, more interaction with people

On ‘sologamy’ as a possible trend that would appeal to single Filipinos

Situmorang, A. (2007). Staying single in a married world: Never-married women in

ANNEX I: INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPTS

4. How do you feel about the idea of

K: Sa tingin ko masalimuot siya e sa A: May imposition of beliefs…

- Have you been involved in a J: Why are you single?

RESPONDENT: J3 mangyari ha..hehehe joke lang! Question 2,

Age: 36 Gender: Male nagkaromantic relationship ka na ba

Occupation: Audio Visual before? Pwedeng pakilahad at ano ang

Technician pananaw mo sa relasyon?

J: Interviewer I: Wala pa..

I: Interviewee J: Kahit MU?

I: Haha..Alam mo na sagot dyan.. I: Siguro...trust saka commitment at

J: Ilahad mo sagot kasi kailangan sa love.haha.. Siguro understanding...accept

interview at di rin ako sure kung bakit ones imperfection..

eh.hehehe.. J: Ilang years ka nang single?

I: Hahaha...nag-enjoy pa ako maging I: Cguro 6 years.. I lie..wahaha..joke lang..

single.. Walang hassle.. Walang curfew.. J: Hahaha.. kainis ka.. wehhh

J: Sige go lang... as long as may gusto kang I: Hahaha..anong next question..

sabihin o ilahad. Hahaha... grabe sya.. kung J: Question number 3: Narinig mo na ba

ikaw ba di mo ccurfew-hin gf mo?hehe yung salitang "Sologamy?"

I: Hindi... I: Hindi pa..

J: Wow... J: Kung di pa di ka nagiisa.hahaha.. Yung