5 Dates to Building a Secure Self

These dates are designed to help guide you into a more intimate relationship with yourself. If you
already find alone time easy, then this process will just be another way to practice self-love.
However, if alone time is a challenge for you, or if you have negative associations to “being alone,”
this 5-week process will help you rebuild a new relationship to alone time. Alone time is sacred. It is
a space where we can recharge, cleanse our energy, and be with our thoughts, feelings, and
dreams. If anxiety and worry is often present within us, we may resist alone time and be drawn to
anything other than sitting with ourselves. On these 5 dates, you’ll learn ways to build a healthy self-
esteem, practice self-love, uplift your confidence, and become more secure. We specifically
created these dates to be things that will help you tap into your body, while also giving you an
opportunity to observe what comes up in your mind along the way. It’s recommended that you
journal your experience after each of the 5 dates.

Here are some prompts to use in your journal:

When I was preparing for this date, I was feeling ____________________.

My mind was ____________________.

During the date, I felt ____________________.

When I feel ____________________, I ____________________.

Something I liked about my self-date was ____________________.

Something that was hard about my self-date was ____________________.

Something I learned about myself on this date is ____________________.

Feel free to also include any thoughts or feelings you have about your date outside of these
questions, they are only a guide.

© 2020 RISING WOMAN

Breath-Work
Notes for Date 4: Dance & Breath-work

Let’s begin with the basics of breath-work. The idea here is to gently deepen our connection to our
body in a safe and healthy way.

Find a comfortable and sacred place to lay down, let your body completely relax and open. If it
feels good, put on meditative or trance music to aid you in your journey.

Notice your breath as it is naturally, are you constricting your diaphragm and holding your breath –
if so, begin to relax and let air fully fill your lungs. You’ll notice your belly rise the deeper you
breathe.

Begin to follow your breath with your awareness, imagine that the air is entering and releasing
similarly to a wave on the shoreline. If there is a pause between your in-breath and out-breath,
gently invite your body to breathe consistently without a stop in between. Maintain this wave-like
breathing pattern for a minimum of 10 minutes, or longer if it feels good for you.

You may notice tingling sensations in your limbs, this is normal – if it intensifies to a degree you are
uncomfortable with slow down and invite gently movement into your body. Once the sensation
eases off, return to your breath.

It’s normal to experience emotional releases during breath-work. If this occurs allow yourself to feel
the emotion fully. This is the beauty of breath-work, it invites us inward to build a relationship with
our body’s wisdom.

After your breath-work session, it’s time to dance.

© 2020 RISING WOMAN

Dancing

Dancing can stir both challenging and beautiful emotions. Some of us were raised in households
where movement was an embraced and regular routine, where others were taught that dancing
opened us up to being criticized. No matter where you are at in your relationship to dance, or
movement, this is an opportunity for you to reclaim an activity that has immense power to shift stuck
energy and soothe the soul. If dance brings up fear for you, we encourage you to lean into this
activity even more - make it a part of your regular routine and be attentive to the emotional and
physical energy that comes forth.

Step 1: Find music that makes you naturally want to move – whatever that is for you specifically.
Some people enjoy upbeat dance music, while others want to groove to something more
downtempo. Choose something you’ll enjoy, remember this is about pleasure too.

Step 2: Close your eyes and start to tune into how your body feels, notice and allow whatever
arises. Begin swaying and letting your body move however it wants to.

Step 3: Instead of focusing on dancing in a way that ‘looks good,’ focus on dancing in a way that
feels good. You do not need to be coordinated or follow the rhythm, just move however your body
is inviting you to.

Step 4: After a minimum of 10 minutes of explorative movement, come to complete stillness either
sitting or lying down. Scan your body, what do you notice? Stay with the energy and shifts that
have occurred for at least 5 minutes – giving yourself and opportunity to integrate and reflect.

Step 5: Grab your journal and use the prompts to write down the key points and awareness from
your breath and dance journey.

© 2020 RISING WOMAN