Spite

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/29210019.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Category: F/M
Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Reader, Hange Zoë
Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Sort Of, no beta we die like men, Mutual
Pining, Canon Compliant, Reader-Insert, but i refuse to use yn, that shit
drives me mad, Plot, Growth, Healing, Levi is Bad At Feelings (Shingeki
no Kyojin), Levi is In Denial (Shingeki no Kyojin), Will add to these as
this goes on, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Canon-
Typical Violence, Slight Canon Divergence, Vaginal Fingering, Blow
Jobs, Sex, Torture
Language: English
Collections: AOT, levi fic recs, Attack On Titan, 336 Hours: A Comprehensive and
Preeminent Reader-Insert Collection
Stats: Published: 2021-02-05 Completed: 2021-11-19 Words: 307,122
Chapters: 50/50
 Spite
by wellitcouldbeworse3

Summary

You wake up in a hospital bed with plenty of injuries and no memories, and the only person
that seem more upset about it than you are is a short, angry man named Levi.

Takes place directly after A Choice With No Regrets.

 0-1
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Levi Ackerman was never one for waiting.

When he wants something, he gets it. When he needs something done, he does it. Even now,
hand-to-hand sparring with some of the other Survey Corps, he refuses to wait for his
opponent to come to him; he steps in and flips the taller man over his shoulder before he even
has the chance to react.

"Cheap trick!" the man hisses from his spot on the ground. "Underground bastard!"

Levi shoots him a half-assed glare. As impatient as he is, he also isn't one to rise to cheap
taunts.

The man scrambles to his feet, teeth bared in rage, but Levi's eyes are elsewhere. There's a
man in a suit, not quite jogging but perhaps speed-walking towards Commander Erwin, who
Levi suspects has an eye on him. Erwin is well aware that his agreement to join the Survey
Corps is conditional, but there's always a look in his eye that makes Levi think that the man is
preparing a presentation on why he should stay.

The man in the suit stops next to urgently and says something, short but urgent. "Asshole, pay
attention to me!" his opponent snarls, but Levi simply ducks under his punch and sticks his
foot out to trip him. His eyes are trained on Erwin, who's now looking at him.

The blond man smiles. Levi glares.

"Levi," Erwin calls, beckoning to him. The black-haired man shoots his opponent one last
look before he jogs around the other people training, heading over to the commander.

The blond man gives him a salute. Levi doesn't return it.

If Erwin minds, he doesn't say. Instead, he grins. "Your time in the Survey Corps no longer
rests upon a condition."

Levi quirks an eyebrow. "If you're going to give me a presentation, at least wait until I've
cleaned up."

Erwin smirks. "She's awake."

He blinks in surprise.

No, Levi was never one for waiting.

So without another word, he turns on his heel and jogs- no, he's full on sprinting- towards the
castle, his heart practically in his throat as he whips around a corner. Footsteps light against
 the ground, Levi runs like he's never run before, allowing himself to feel the slightest bit of
hope for the first time since that night.

He should've known better.

Chapter End Notes

Hi! Thanks for reading! I'm new to ao3 so I appreciate the read! <3
 0-2
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The light hurts.

You scrunch your eyelids shut, a wave of red and black popping up into your vision. The
brightness of the light is currently blinding you, rendering you unable to open your eyes
without a flash of pain and nausea. You slow yourself down, forcing the air out of your lungs
in an attempt to relax. Take your time. Breathe, then open.

Following your own advice, you inhale shakily. The air stings your throat. You force the air
out again in a measured exhale.

Okay, let's try this again.

The first fact that's becoming increasingly apparent is that you can't open one of your eyes.
You raise your hand to your face, prodding around your left eye. Bandages- a lot of them.
They're forcing your eye shut. Well, one is better than none, I suppose.

Slowly, you blink your right eye open and try to adjust to the light as you take in your
surroundings. The current bane of your existence is caused by a singular lamp that's swinging
from the ceiling. You're in a bed, wearing- a hospital shirt? It's a faded blue thing that looks
like it's seen better days. You frown. There's a set of chairs next to one side of your bed,
accompanied by a small side table.

You try to reach out and wince at how stiff you are. "Ow," you complain, shoulders tight. You
lift the light sheet and wince; one of your ankles is heavily wrapped in white bandages.

"Where am I?" you whisper, and it's only after speaking that you realize how dry your throat
feels. Water. Water would be nice.

You glance around. No water. No signs of other people. You slowly sit yourself up, head
spinning, but you manage to keep yourself upright. Your hands fly to your forehead, trying to
banish the dizziness, and you're surprised to feel more bandages. You gently prod your face;
they're covering your entire forehead as well as your left eye.

"What the fuck," you echo hollowly, wishing you had a mirror. What the hell happened to
you?

Do you wait for someone to find you, or do you go find someone yourself? You puzzle it for
a moment, listening attentively. Faint footsteps, coming towards you. You glare expectantly
at the door, but the footsteps pass right on by. Shit. Maybe you are going to have to get up.

Carefully, you swing your legs over the bed and set your feet on the ground. The stone is cold
underneath your bare feet.
"One, two," you chant to yourself, palms pressed into the mattress, "three!"

You push yourself up to your feet and regret it immediately. The crippling wave of nausea
and dizziness swarms you, and there's a blistering pain in your left ankle that feels like fire
crawling up your leg. You fall back onto the bed, blinking the spots out of your vision. Okay,
maybe not.

You don't let your head fall against the pillow, unwilling to accept defeat. But after another
attempt of standing, it's clear that you're not going to be in much shape to hold yourself up,
let alone walk to the door. With a sigh, you swing your legs back up onto the bed. You hear
footsteps again and look around wildly, wondering if there's some way you can get the
attention of whoever's in the hall. "Hey!" you call out weakly, but the word hurts your throat.

Your eye zeroes in on the table. There's a mug.

Well, broken glass... The footsteps have almost passed, and you groan. "Fuck it," you
mumble. You pick up the mug in your right hand and throw it at the door.

Your muscles sing in pain. It's a weak throw, but it does the job; the mug strikes the wood and
falls, shattering upon impact. You hear the footsteps pause and hold your breath, then nearly
cheer when the doorknob turns. The wooden door pushes open, revealing two men, both
wearing suits. You don't recognize either of them.

"She's awake," one of them says softly. He's wearing a crisp grey suit and has brown hair
combed back and perfectly styled. You have a weird urge to mess it up. Both men look down
at the broken mug, then back up at you. The first man turns to his partner. "Go fetch Doctor
Fizal." His partner nods, shooting you one last wary look, and takes off.

"Where am I?" you ask, but your voice is so raspy that you immediately cringe.

"A hospital located inside Wall Rose," the brown-haired man says. "Your doctor will fill you
in."

You blink. Wall who?

The man disappears briefly, but he returns with a bottle of water and broom. You take the
water gratefully, taking large gulps. The water is cold and refreshing, almost stinging your
throat. The man sweeps away the broken glass, picking up the larger chunks and setting them
on a shelf. He waits at the door, periodically checking his watch and glancing down the hall.
You're not sure if you're allowed to ask anything, but you hit a point where there's way too
much you want to ask.

"What happened to me?" you ask, bottle clutched in your hand.

He raises an eyebrow at you. "You don't remember?"

You shake your head.

"An expedition against the titans," he explains, but you just stare at him in confusion. "I don't
know much about it, but I know you've been out for a while and you weren't exactly expected
to wake up."

...Titans?

He says it like it's supposed to be obvious what a titan is. Expedition? Wait- "How long have
I been out?" you ask.

"A little over a month, I think," he replies, checking his watch again. "Maybe two. Three?"
Your jaw slips open in surprise. Have you been in a coma since then? "You've missed quite a
bit," he continues. "Wall Maria fell. A giant titan, over fifty meters tall, appeared and broke
the gate into Shiganshina. Another titan, one covered entirely in armor, broke the main gate
into Wall Maria."

Wall Maria? Titans? Fifty meters, armor?

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" you say aloud.

The man stares at you, eyes narrowed, like he's trying to decipher what you mean. It should
be obvious- you have no idea what he's talking about, but he's saying it like it's common
knowledge. How much more clear can you be?

He opens his mouth to reply, but someone new walks into the room. It's a small woman with
a white coat, her black hair pulled up into a bun at the top of her head. The man who had
been keeping you company nods to her, gives you a hard stare, and leaves. "Hello, Miss
Logan," she says politely, pulling up one of the chairs next to your bed. "How are you
feeling?"

Your head spins. Logan? Miss Logan?

That's when you realize your situation may be worse than you originally expected, because
she just called you Miss Logan and you had no idea that was your name. Holy shit, what's
your name? Why don't you know that? Logan, Logan, Logan- what's your first name? What's
your doctor's name? Mother, father, friends- anyone?

Do you really not remember anything?

The doctor must sense your distress. "Miss Logan, calm down," she says firmly, which
definitely doesn't help calm you down, "you're safe here, I assure you. You may be feeling a
bit of stress from the night of the incident."

You want to scream. Instead, you settle on, "what the fuck."

The doctor's eyebrows raise. "Well, an appropriate reaction, considering what you've been
through."

What the ever-loving hell have I been through?! You're two seconds away from strangling
this woman for her lack of clarity when the door flies open again, and another person
appears, breathless. He's short and has shaggy black hair, slightly unkempt- it looks like he's
been running. He's wearing some sort of training uniform with a brown jacket. The logo on it
is a set of wings, and it feels like it should be familiar.
He's got the sharpest eyes you've ever seen- a steely grey color. Your jaw slips open slightly.
You know him, you're sure of it. You've felt that piercing gaze before, and as your eye drifts
to his hand placement on the doorway, you're almost sure that you can feel a solid grip
around your wrist.

His expression is a mix of controlled neutrality and relief. "You made me wait," he says, his
voice carefully quiet.

You should know him. You should. What's his name?

"Sorry?" is the only thing that comes to mind. He raises an eyebrow at you, looking
somewhat puzzled by your answer. "I, uh..." how do you bridge this? How do you tell these
people that seem to know you that you have no idea who they are?

The man steps into the room. He doesn't take a chair, instead moving to stand on the other
side of you. He glances up at the doctor. "How is she?"

She smiles politely. "I arrived barely ten seconds before you did, sir."

He looks to you next. "A month and a half? Really?"

You resist the urge to snap at him. You've already gathered that you've been in a coma of
sorts for a while, based on what the first man said to you. "Oh, my bad," you say sourly.
"Next time I'll wake myself up earlier."

"See that you do."

Despite the banter, he still looks rather relieved. His lips are twitching in a smirk- whoever
this guy is, you must have bickered an awful lot. At least, that's your guess. So is it safe to
assume that he's a friend? He seemed relieved when he came in, and his timely appearance
must mean he heard the news rather quickly. He must be important.

You're about to say something about the fact that you have no idea who you are when the
doctor says, "Miss Logan, I'm Doctor Fizal, and I've been monitoring you for the past month
or so. Your ankle will take longer to heal, but it will at some point- I'm unsure about your
eye."

"My eye," you repeat, your hand flying up to prod the white bandage.

The man next to you must be catching on that you're a bit out of it, because he says, "what do
you remember?"

You swallow. Here goes. "Nothing."

"The brain sometimes suppresses traumatic memories," Doctor Fizal says calmly, fingers
gently pushing at your ankle in different spots and looking for where you wince. "It's natural.
They'll come back over time."

"No, I..." you trail off. "I don't remember anything."

She hums. "Like I said, it's not a surprise. Give it a few days. I'm sure Levi can help fill you
in."

The handsome man next to you- Levi- leans towards you. "What do you mean, you don't
remember anything?" he says cautiously.

You meet his eyes. "I- I don't know anything," you say, and your general confusion seems to
pour out of you in the form of word vomit. You look away. "I just woke up a few minutes
ago, and- some man mentioned titans? And a wall? And I don't know what either of those
are. You, I feel like I should know you," you say, looking at him. "But I didn't even know
your name until she said it. I- I don't know what my name is."

There's a stony silence. All traces of relief vanish immediately from Levi's face. "You're
joking."

"What's my name?" you ask quietly, tears pricking your eyes. Well, the one that's working,
anyways.

"This isn't funny."

"I'm not laughing."

He doesn't say anything else. His impassive face of relief and maybe a bit of warmth has been
replaced with an icy, guarded expression. He's shut himself off.

Before you can think of anything else to say, he turns and storms towards the door, throwing
it open and slamming it shut with enough force to rattle the lamp above your head. You stare
at the door, a lone tear rolling down your cheek that you barely notice. Why does this hurt so
much? You don't even know him.

"Miss Logan, I believe you may have amnesia," Doctor Fizal says softly, taking a paper
clipped onto a board from the side table.

You snort, handing swiping at your cheek. "Gee, you think?"

"Do you remember anything at all?" she says, ignoring your sarcasm. She dips a quill in ink,
and her hand flies across the paper. You resist the urge to grab her papers and see what she's
writing. "Anything at all? Names, feelings, words?"

"No," you murmur with a shake of your head.

She sighs. "Well. This may be a trifle bit more complicated than we anticipated."

"A trifle?" you mutter. You don't know much about yourself, but at the very least, you don't
hold back on your sarcasm. Once again, the woman doesn't bite on your sarcasm. You
swallow your nerves and ask the question you almost don't want to hear the answer to.
"Doctor? What's my name?"

Doctor Fizal says a name- your name, apparently. It sounds weird.

 You try it out yourself, repeating it and then again with the last name attached. "Weird," you
murmur, your tongue dry in your throat. You glance down at your water bottle- empty.

She tucks the quill into a small case and stands up. "Alright. I'm going to go speak with a few
of my colleagues- we haven't had an amnesia case in a long time. We'll look through our
notes and report to Commander Erwin."

"What am I supposed to do?" you ask, frowning.

Doctor Fizal smiles at you. "Exactly what you've been doing for the last two months, dear.
Get some rest."

With that, she leaves, closing the door softly behind her. You stare blankly at the wooden
door again, racking your brain for any sort of memory. All you've got is your own name-
which someone else had to tell you- and the fact you were friends with someone named Levi,
who looked like he wanted to tear your head off your shoulders.

Levi. He'd seemed so hopeful. Relieved. And when he left, he'd been cold. Angry. He was
definitely a friend. So why couldn't you remember him?

Confused, upset, and overwhelmed beyond belief, you tuck your knees up to your chest and
cry.

Chapter End Notes

This has also been posted on Wattpad- my username there is ohdontiwish. In case you
prefer Wattpad as a reading platform :)
 0-3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Your next visitor is a tall, blond man with sharp eyes that immediately make you stiffen up.
There's something familiar about him too, but not in the same way Levi was familiar. Levi
was someone you feel like you should've known inside and out. This man makes you want to
hit something. You narrow your eyes.

"Logan," he greets. "Good to see you awake."

"You'd be the first to think so," you reply, frowning.

"I see Levi's been here."

"Briefly."

"I've been informed of your circumstances."

"Wonderful," you say, trying to bite back on the sarcasm unsuccessfully. Another person who
knows you and is now going to walk on eggshells around you. "So you already know I have
no idea who you are," you say when he doesn't say anything else.

He smiles. "Well, we haven't known each other very long."

"And Levi?"

"How long you've known him?" he asks, and you nod. "I'm not entirely sure. I just know you
two are close. You've been close friends for at least a year by my guess. He's the closest
living person to you, from the best of my knowledge."

You nod, straightening up. Maybe the blond man hadn't meant to, but he's answered a few
more of your questions: Levi's a friend, not a boyfriend (you're not sure whether you're upset
by that or not). Closest person to you- so you're closer with Levi than your family. If you
have any. And you most likely don't have a significant other then, if Levi's the one you're
closest to.

His word choice bothers you. "Living?" you ask, tightening your grip on the hospital sheets.

His expression doesn't change. "The expedition that put you in this state also claimed the
lives of a few of your friends."

You try to feel sad, but it's kind of hard when you have no idea who or what he's talking
about. "What expedition?"

"If I'm correct, you don't know anything about titans or our way of living?" he asks, and you
shake your head. "Alright. Would you be okay with me debriefing you on humanity's current
situation?"

"Humanity?" you repeat, and he nods. You press your palms to your forehead. "Um, sure."

"Stop me whenever." He clears his throat. "For as long as-"

"Wait. What's your name?"

He smirks. "Erwin Smith. I'm the commander of the Survey Corps."

So this is who Doctor Fizal had to report to. You survey him, wondering if he'll complain if
you try and put your feelings into words. There's something about him that bothers you and
you're not quite sure what it is, but it's there. Ah, fuck it, you think to yourself. I've got
nothing to lose. "I don't like you very much, do I?"

To your surprise, Erwin chuckles. "No, you don't."

"Oh." You pause, slightly pleased with yourself. Your hunch was right. "Well, go on."

He regards you for a moment, making you slightly uncomfortable, then he grins. "I don't
think you're such a lost cause, Logan."

"At this rate, I'm going to get 'lost cause' printed on my forehead."

"Don't be rash."

"Try me." The blond man looks amused. "Well, get on with it," you push, waving a hand at
him. "I don't have all day."

"Made plans?"

You shrug, smirking. "I've got a nap scheduled in five minutes, but if you're somewhat
entertaining, it can wait."

Erwin grins. "Challenge accepted."

So you slide your knees up to your chest, wrap your arms around your legs, and listen. In all
fairness, Erwin is a good story teller. At least, that's what it feels like this should be: a story.
Some sort of fairy tale. Because there's no way that fifteen meter creatures like what he's
describing exist. The walls, the last of humanity? It doesn't feel real. But there's something in
his stories that feels familiar, and nothing shocks you. It feels like it shouldn't be real. It
shouldn't. But... There's not an ounce of lie in Erwin's eyes.

You ask him more, and he tells you what he knows about you. You're a recently-made
member of the Survey Corps, recruited by Erwin from the 'underground'- and apparently he
knows nothing about you from before then. The underground.

Only Levi would know more about you. You need to talk to Levi.
Erwin goes on about how you skipped most of the training, instead joining right away and
jumping in on an expedition. "I wasn't there for your injury," he says, his voice measured.
"The weather was awful. Rain and fog- no one could see a thing. When I had arrived, Levi
was the only one standing. He thought you were dead."

You bite your lip, anxious.

"We were collecting the bodies, and found you were alive after all." Erwin clears his throat
and shifts backwards in his chair. "You've been recovering here ever since. No one knew if
you were going to wake up."

"Oh." You let your legs relax, stretching them out across the bed. "Well, I did."

"You did," he agrees. "And Levi's been here already?"

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I don't think he..." You trail off.

Erwin sighs. "He's disappointed, Logan. Give it time."

"Does no one call me by my first name?" you ask, frowning.

"Not many," he admits. "You went by Logan in the underground and it carried on for the
short period of time you were in the Survey Corps."

"Oh." You pause, trying to digest everything he's told you. What now? Do you just... go back
to fighting titans and whatnot? Would you even know how? You bring your hands up to your
face, touching your bandaged eye. "Will this heal?" you ask quietly, glancing up at Erwin.

His expression doesn't change. "I'm not sure."

Well, that's great. You pinch your lips together. "Now what?"

"You heal."

"And after that?"

"That remains to be discussed and we'll be able to make a decision based on how much you
remember and if your abilities have left you."

"So my memories can come back?" you say quickly, straightening up.

Erwin crosses his arms. You're trying your best to read his body language but it's difficult
considering you met the man all of ten minutes ago. "Yet to be seen," he says eventually.
"Your case is unique. Although I believe a bit of optimism wouldn't be misplaced."

You stare, trying to see if he's just giving you false hope, but his gaze never wavers. He's
being honest.

"Alright," you mutter.

He smirks. "You don't seem very optimistic."

"I woke up an hour ago. Give me a break."

Erwin stands up. You keep your eyes trained on him as he pushes the chair back into its
original position and heads to the door. "I'll stop by again, Logan," he says, turning back to
you. "With a plan or some better news."

"And Levi," you add.

There's a flicker of a smile on Erwin's face. "And Levi," he agrees.

The blond man closes the door softly behind him, leaving you to your thoughts- which there
aren't very many of. Just questions, questions, and more questions.

With nothing better to do, you let your head fall against the pillow and pass out almost
immediately.

Two weeks pass.

Two weeks of only seeing the annoying face of Doctor Fizal and her assistant, a short boy
with curly black hair that stammers every time he talks. He introduces himself as Tanner, and
Doctor Fizal says he's going to act as your memory. He's sort of endearing in a way- he's
short, has freckles stretching across his cheeks, and twirls some sort of writing utensil in his
fingers constantly. Always moving, always fidgeting, and always asking questions.

Tanner sits with you every morning and asks you a series of pointless questions- do you
remember your name, your age, your family, on and on and on. Every day, checking for new
developments. He starts asking for feelings, hunches, ideas, other ridiculous things that make
your empty head spin. Word association, things like that. Nothing that actually helps.

In a way, his company is nice. It helps you keep track of the days. Even if his questions about
various things are sort of aggravating.

"Any thoughts on the outdoors?" Tanner asks one morning.

You pretend to think, then cross your arms. "I'd have more opinions on the outdoors if I was
actually allowed to leave my room," you say casually.

It's true- the most you've been outside of your hospital room is to the bathroom across the
hall, and you're always supervised. Your ankle still feels sore when you stand on it, so Doctor
Fizal has given you a crutch to use. The door is always locked when no one else is in here,
which means you can't leave.

Tanner winces. "You- you know that's only for your safety. Sensory overload, you know."

"So you've said," you muse, picking at a loose thread on the bed sheet.
"How about trees?" he pushes, his small quill tapping against a binder of papers that he
carries everywhere.

"Tall," you say blankly.

"How about the short ones?"

"...Short?"

Tanner sighs, jotting down something on his paper. "Okay, well, how about quills?" he offers,
holding up his utensil. "Any opinions on those?"

You blink. "Ink?"

"Do you want to draw?"

"Sure," you reply, surprised. He never really gives you the opportunity to do much.

Tanner holds it out, then hesitates. "I feel like you'll stab me with this."

"Debating it," you say honestly.

Tanner's hand snaps back to his side so fast that you wouldn't have been surprised if he
accidentally stabbed himself with the quill. He taps it repeatedly against the paper- that
tapping is really testing your patience. "Well- well, only a few more things for today," he
says. "I have to come up with some new stuff for tomorrow..."

The door pushes open, and you straighten up.

It's the first time you've seen him since his initial entrance two weeks ago, but Levi's face has
been imprinted in your brain. Once again, his expression is impassive and it looks like he's
glaring at you. He's holding a tray in his hands. Resting on the tray is an hourglass, a spall
teapot, and two cups.

Levi looks at Tanner. "Get out."

Tanner's jaw slips open. "Well- I'm not- not really done-"

"Well, now you'll have material for tomorrow," you say quickly, and Tanner's head swivels
back to you. "Less work for you, right?"

"I'll lock the door when I leave," Levi adds.

Tanner's jaw closes, then opens, then closes. One more hard glare from Levi is all he needs to
stumble out of the room, tripping over his own feet. Levi shuts the door behind Tanner with
his foot, then sets the tray down on a nearby table.

You stare, so many questions posed on your tongue. Levi glances at the hourglass, which still
has sand trickling through it.
Eventually, you settle on, "why the hourglass?"

"It's best when it's steeped for three minutes," Levi replies, eyes trained on the sand falling
through the glass. "Longer than that and the tea is too bitter."

The hourglass runs out. Levi takes the teapot and carefully pours out two cups. You eye the
steam coming off of the top of the cup warily. "Trying to poison me?" you joke bitterly,
taking the tea cup by the handle.

Something flickers in his eyes, but it's gone so fast that you might have imagined it.
"Tempting," he replies.

Levi picks up his cup, but he does it weirdly. He holds it from the top using all of his fingers
and his thumb and brings it to his lips, taking a sip. Tentatively, you bring the tea cup up to
your mouth and pour some of the hot liquid down your throat. It's soothing. "What type of tea
is this?" you ask, hands clenched around the tea cup for warmth.

"Green."

"Oh." You take another sip. "You made me wait," you say, echoing his words to you from two
weeks ago.

Levi takes another sip of his tea, leaning back in the chair. "Remember anything?"

"No," you admit. "They won't let me leave the room and the most the doctors have told me is
my name. Erwin told me more- said that I was in... scouting corps?"

"Survey Corps," he corrects. "How much did he tell you?"

"He told me about the titans, and the walls, and how one of the walls was broken down a few
weeks ago," you recall, furrowing your brow as you try to remember everything. "He told me
I'm from- underground? And people call me Logan."

"Fucking idiot," Levi curses lowly, taking another sip.

Your eyes widen. "What?"

"He shouldn't have told you that."

"Well, someone had to." You clench your jaw and narrow your eyes at Levi. "Considering
that the one person I even somewhat recognize won't look at me."

Finally, Levi meets your gaze. His eyes are just as sharp as you remember them being the
first time you saw him. "You remember me?" he says slowly, setting his tea cup down.

You shrug. "Sort of. I feel like I'm supposed to know you. You're the only one that's felt
familiar."

Levi sets his jaw. "Makes sense."

His attitude is ticking you off. "So could you maybe fill me in instead of being so cryptic?"
you snap, your hands tight around the cup.

"Maybe if you stop acting like such a brat," he shoots back.

"Oh, I'm a brat? I'm so sorry I woke up with no memories and kind of want to figure out who
I am," you retort, glaring at him. "Sorry that's so bratty and such an inconvenience to you."

There's a pause. You angrily sip your tea, fingers clenched tight around the handle.

Levi calmly brings his cup to his lips, taking a slow sip, then sets it down again. "You've
always had temper problems."

"Maybe I just have you problems," you grumble, taking another sip.

He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm assuming you've done word
association with the useless blunderhead from earlier?" Levi asks, referencing Tanner. "He
says a word, you try to associate something with it?" You give him a grudging nod. "Alright.
I'm going to give you words or names. Tell me if they mean anything."

"Fine," you say shortly, still sort of peeved but too desperate for information to protest.

"Isabel."

You blink, trying to recall something. "Nope."

"Farlan."

"No."

Levi's eyes squeeze shut, then reopen. You bite your lip anxiously. Were you supposed to
know them? "I'll just say words," he says. "Tea."

"Green," you reply, holding the cup a bit tighter.

"Titans."

"Walls."

"Underground."

"Damp," you say, but you're not really sure where the word comes from. Well, underground
places are typically dark and damp, right? It doesn't mean anything.

"Family."

"Nothing."

"Clean."

"Freak."
You both pause. You blink several times in surprise, wondering why freak was your go-to
answer. You hadn't even thought of it. Nothing new enters your brain, but it felt right to say.
Levi's eyes are wide.

"Seriously?" he says dubiously.

"Is that my next word?" you ask dumbly.

"Clean freak," Levi repeats, ignoring your question. His lips twitch. "Alright. Fly."

Oh, we're still going. "Annoying," you say, thinking of the insect.

"Horse."

"Fast."

"Sky."

"Blue."

"Stars."

"Wish." You're sort of dumbstruck again. Where the hell did that come from?

"Knife," Levi says. His glare is lifting.

"Stab," you reply, feeling stupid. You resist the urge to smack yourself in the forehead.

"Stealing."

"Thief."

"Training."

"Fun." You think training is fun? Since when? Training for what? Titan killing?

"Erwin."

"Strong."

"What makes you say that? You've only met him once."

You purse your lips, thinking back to your encounter with the blond man a week ago. "He
holds himself differently than Doctor Fizal or Tanner," you murmur, trying to string your
thoughts together. "He talks about all of these tragedies and stories, but... he's honest. He
doesn't... oh, I don't know." You shrug. "It just feels right."

"Feels right," Levi deadpans. He laces his fingers. "What about me then?"

"What I think of you?" you ask in surprise, and he raises his eyebrows in confirmation. You
haven't met many people- the two men at the very beginning when you woke up, Erwin,
 Doctor Fizal, and Tanner- but no one's given you the same feeling Levi has. Even Erwin said
it: he's important, and he's your closest friend, apparently. But you've seen him twice, and
neither has been a great impression. He's sort of... well, he's... Fine then.

"You're an asshole," you say finally.

His frown doesn't falter. "Takes one to know one." Levi stands, picking up the tray with his
empty tea cup, teapot, and hourglass. He holds it out, and you put your half-empty cup on the
tray. Without another word, he heads towards the door, balancing the tray on one hand so that
he can pull it open.

"When will you give me answers?" you ask, hating yourself for sounding sort of desperate.

Levi shoots you one last glare. "I don't know as much as you're hoping I do."

He shuts the door behind him. There's a click to indicate that it's locked. Footsteps echo down
the hallway as he walks away.

You fall back onto your pillow. "Fuck you, Levi," you grumble to the ceiling.

The ceiling doesn't reply. Go figure.

But he gave you clues. A lot of them, actually. Not just the words that you associated
bizarrely: clean and freak, stars and wish. But all the words he gave you have some sort of
meaning. Words like titans, family, tea- sure, basic things. But he said horse. Did you like
horses? Ride them? He also said training. And thief. Were you a thief of some sort? Is that
how you met Levi?

You spend so long puzzling them that you have no idea when you fall asleep.

Chapter End Notes

Finally some decent Levi interaction!! When I say this is a slow burn, I mean it- gotta
give Levi some time to get over himself and Reader needs time to figure out what the
fuck is going on lol

Thank you so much for the positive response!! I'm brand new to ao3 so I really
appreciate it <3
 0-4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

It takes two more weeks for your ankle to heal, and you're beginning to wonder if you know
how to pick locks, because being confined to one room all day is frustrating as hell.

The other option you considered is knocking out Tanner and escaping, but you don't want this
to be considered an 'escape'. You're not a prisoner. You're just in isolation because you "need
time to heal and can't have anything like the overwhelming sensations of the outside interrupt
your path to recovery" as Doctor Fizal so eloquently puts it. One of these day you're going to
punch that woman in the face and feel absolutely no remorse about it.

You just want to wander halls. Explore. Maybe see what the city looks like. Is that too much
to ask?

Tanner changes from morning visits to evening visits, and he eventually trusts you enough to
hold a quill. He gives you his utensil and a book for a hard surface and asks you to draw-
anything you want, whatever comes to mind. For whatever reason, you start sketching tea
cups. There's something about Levi's visit that's still bothering you.

"Tea?" Tanner asks, studying your page. "Any significance?"

You shrug. "Levi brought me tea."

His face pales. Apparently, he remembers Levi quite vividly. "I- I see. Any significant
memories with that? Were you a tea drinker?"

You shrug again, dipping your quill in ink. "Who knows?" you mutter. "No one seems overly
inclined to tell me anything."

Tanner shifts nervously. "Well, we're trying to let you form the memories on your own. If we
try to force your opinions and similar onto you, it might impact your healing, especially if
you recover any memories that contradict what you've been told."

It makes sense, but you don't like it. "That's stupid," you grumble.

"You say that about a lot of things."

"So I'm a pessimist," you muse to yourself. You glance up at Tanner. "You concluded
anything about me in the four weeks you've kept me in here? I'd like to hope you have."

"A few things," he confirms. "May I?"

He's holding out his hand, so you hand back the quill, the paper you were doodling on, and
the hard book that you were using as a surface. "When will you let me out?"
"When Doctor Fizal clears you," Tanner replies.

"You say that every time."

He shrugs. "Well, it's true. Anyways..." He pulls his stack of paper from the nearby cupboard
that he left it on. "We're trying to leave you to- well, you know, develop as much as you can
by yourself," Tanner says, and you roll your eyes because you've heard that so many times.
"Once your ankle is cleared, we- we'll check out how your eye is healing, and then you'll be
good to leave as you want- with exceptions, of course-"

The door shoves open, and you straighten up when you see Levi. He's got a hangar with a
black jacket hanging over it. He raises an irritated eyebrow at Tanner. "You're still here?"

"Well- well, it's her evening check up," Tanner says uncertainly. "Still."

Levi clicks his tongue in irritation. You shoot him a half-hearted glare. It's the first time
you've seen him since he brought you tea two weeks ago. "This is yours," he says, holding
out the jacket. He walks over to the side of your room and hooks the hangar onto the chair.
"Thought you should have it."

You perk up. "Pass it," you urge, holding out your hands.

He pulls it off the hangar and hands it to you. You cradle the fabric into your chest. It's a nice
coat- soft, warm material with a firm outer layer. It smells nice. "You wore this everywhere,"
Levi says, backing away.

"Thanks," you murmur.

He turns his gaze sideways at Tanner. "So you've told her?"

"I was about to," he defends.

"Tell me what?" you ask.

Levi turns back to you. "That you're staying here."

You stiffen, twisting your fingers into the fabric of the jacket that apparently belongs to you.
"What? But I thought-"

"You don't have anywhere else to go," he says, cutting you off, and you pause. What's he
talking about? "No one knows if you have family. You're not rejoining the scouts. You've got
nowhere else to stay. Erwin arranged for you to stay in the hospital room as long as there's
availability."

Tanner gulps. "What he said."

"Oh," you say lowly. Unfortunately, that makes sense.

There's an uncomfortable silence that follows. Levi starts towards the door. You don't try to
stop him this time; no matter what you say, he's not going to give you anything useful. But at
the last second, he pauses, his hand on the doorknob. Tanner stands up with his papers, ready
to make his leave. Levi opens the door for him and the assistant skitters out without a look
back.

Before he leaves, Levi turns back to you. "You've got a scar," he says. "On your right side,
just above your hip."

You drop your jacket like a stone into your lap and shove down the sheet that's covering you.
You grab the edge of the shirt you're wearing and pull it up to your midsection. Yes, you'd
taken a look at yourself since you'd woken up, but you had dozens of scars everywhere. This
one you remember. It's an angry red slit angled over your hip, in line with your naval. "You
know how I got it?" you ask eagerly.

Levi nods. "Yeah."

"How?"

"I stabbed you."

You blink. "You what?"

With one last look, Levi closes the door, leaving you alone in your room. "Levi!" you yell in
frustration, swinging your legs over the bed. You stand up shakily and step towards the door,
using the bed for support. Your ankle feels fine, so you put a bit of extra weight on it as you
lunge for the door.

You pull the knob. Locked.

How can that asshole just leave you with that?

You slam a fist on the door. "Levi!" you shout angrily. No response, no footsteps. That
fucking asshole. You hit the door one more time, gritting your teeth. "Asshole," you snarl, but
the venom is dripping out of you. You don't feel angry anymore- just upset. "Asshole," you
mutter again, and your hands drop away from the door.

You pad back to your bed, fuming, and seize your jacket again. It's a nice coat- good to know
you had a sense of style- and it has a few zippered pockets. Curiously, you start digging
through.

The outer pockets reveal a few elastic bands, maybe for tying up hair, and a few folded up
napkins. There's one secret pocket in the lining of the jacket, so small that you nearly miss it.
You unzip it and pull out a charm hanging on a cord. It's a necklace.

"What the heck," you mutter, holding up the pendant. It looks like a triangle framed by a
circle.

It doesn't cause any new memories to appear, nor do you recognize it from anything, so you
slide it back into its pocket and keep exploring. The last pocket you go through is the most
promising: there's two metal rods with weird hook patterns on the end. Frowning, you hold
them up, turning them over in your hands. What were these for?
Something from Levi's first visit comes back to you. Thief. One of his words had been thief.

Your head snaps up to the door. You stumble back towards the door, hands practically
vibrating in excitement. Were these tools to pick a lock? That seems like a common tool for
thieves, right? You lean down towards the lock, looking from your tools to the doorknob.

...How do you do this?

With a sigh, you set your tools inside the lock and let your eyes flutter shut. Maybe your
autopilot can figure this out. One of the things Tanner yammers on about is skills, you muse
to yourself as you hands aimlessly fiddle with the tools. Skills aren't supposed to leave you,
but you forget how you learned them or who taught you. So it's probable that you're just as
skilled as before, which would be nice if you knew what you were skilled at-

There's a click.

"No way," you whisper. Hesitantly, you take the knob and turn it. It opens.

You stifle a triumphant laugh. You did it! You picked a lock. Holy shit, you picked a lock.
Did Levi know? Did he know your tools were in your jacket and did he think you'd manage
to get out? Head spinning, you head back over to your bed and slide on the hospital slippers,
then pull your coat over your shoulders. You tuck the tools back into your pocket and zip it
shut.

Carefully, you pull the door open and peer into the hall. There's a window to your left, but it's
about as useless as the window in your hospital room: no way of being opened and the only
thing it shows is the side of another building. You can see how dark it is outside, at the very
least. Where can you go?

Quietly, you tiptoe down the hallway, listening for other footsteps. You pass the bathroom
and continue on, trying to figure out if you're excited or nervous. "Where to?" you murmur,
fingers resting lightly on the walls.

You turn a corner and see another window. Excited, you lightly jog over to see if the view on
this side of the building is any better.

It is. Oh, is it ever.

Buildings, much smaller than the one you're in now, stretch out across the landscape. It looks
like you're on the second floor, which gives you a great vantage point over top of the other
houses. The streets are lit with lanterns, and you see a few people wandering around. Far off
in the distance is a wall, and it's much bigger than what you imagined. When you heard that
your area was surrounded by walls, you hadn't imagined them to be so high.

But the best part is the sky. It's clear and dotted with tiny stars, scattered across in a
seemingly random formation. It's beautiful.

You're possessed with a sudden urge to go up to the roof. You prod the edge of the window.
Can this one open? Yes it can, you realize with glee, but it's locked. You unzip your pocket
again and pull out your tools, then let your hands do the work. It seems to work better when
you shut your eyes, so you let your eyelids flutter close.

Sure enough, you can feel the second the lock opens. "Hell yes," you whisper to yourself,
tucking your tools back into your pocket. You push the window open. It's big enough for you
to get out of.

You turn with your back to the window and stick your head out. How tall is the building? You
beam when you realize it's only two floors. You reach your hands up for a ridge and pull
yourself up so that you're sitting on the windowsill, most of your body hanging out of the
building. The cold night air is more refreshing than it is nasty; you'd take being cold in a
heartbeat if it meant you could get up on the roof.

"You're supposed to be in your room."

You initially freeze up, but you recognize the voice. "Then you shouldn't have given me my
jacket," you say without looking inside.

There's a scoff. "What do you think you're doing?"

Finally, you duck your head back into the window, keeping a tight grip on the outside ridge.
Levi is glaring at you, arms crossed. He's still wearing the black pants and grey jacket from
earlier when he stopped by your room. "I'm going up to the roof," you say confidently.

Levi stays quiet for a minute, studying you. Then, he sighs. "There's easier ways, dumbass."

"I don't care," you say stubbornly, putting yourself back out the window. You bring your feet
up to the window ledge, wishing you had better footwear than some flimsy slippers that don't
even fit you properly. You shove yourself up, then glare up at the roof. This may be harder
than you thought.

"You idiot. Move over."

Frowning, you slide sideways, and Levi squeezes out of the window next to you. He swings
himself up onto the roof like he's done it a dozen times before, and you can't help but let your
jaw slip open in surprise. He holds out a hand, and after shooting him an annoyed scowl, you
mimic his movements and get yourself onto the roof. You're not quite as elegant as him, but
you get up nonetheless.

Levi rolls his eyes. "Stubborn brat."

You ignore him and walk up to the top of the roof, gaping at the view. Behind you is the wall,
but in front of you now is an endless amount of houses, shops, and other larger structures. It's
incredible. You sit yourself down and turn up to the stars. They're even more beautiful than
they were from inside. "Wow," you whisper, unable to stop the smile from stretching across
your face.

You glance at Levi, but he's staring at you. "What?" you say with a raised eyebrow.
He doesn't reply. He walks up the roof until he's at the same level as you and sits down,
several feet away. You pull your jacket tighter around your shoulders, shivering. Levi looks
up at the stars, lips pinched together. "What do you think?" he muses.

You think for a moment. "It's cold," you reply honestly.

"I can't control the weather," he shoots back.

"I'm in this stupid hospital get up, cut me a break." You both sit in silence, surveying the
stars. One particularly bright one seems to blink at you. "You knew I'd pick the lock," you say
eventually.

Levi doesn't say anything.

"That's why you gave me the jacket," you continue, frowning. "To see if I'd figure it out."

When he finally speaks up, his voice is quiet. "There wasn't a place you couldn't get into,"
Levi says.

"So I was a thief?"

"Of sorts."

"You're not very helpful," you mutter, turning back up to the sky.

Levi scoffs, but he starts talking again, so you stay quiet. "We met underground," he says, and
you recall your conversation with Erwin a month ago where he talked about how he recruited
the both of you from underground. "Two years ago."

"And you stabbed me," you say.

"You took something I needed for a job," Levi says casually. "And you were harder to deal
with than I anticipated." He tugs down the collar of the black shirt he's wearing, and you see
a slash across his collar bone. "You gave me this."

For some reason, you feel awfully pleased with yourself. "Oh." Your smug smile eventually
drops. "Erwin said we were friends, though."

Levi snorts. "I tolerated you at best."

There's another moment of silence. The frustration that's been gradually building up in you
since you first met Levi is what pushes you to ask, "why won't you help me remember?"
When he doesn't reply, you cross your arms. "Is there- is there something you don't want me
to know? Something personal?"

"I want you to remember," he says. "I don't know as much as you think I do."

"You've known me for at least two years," you urge, twisting so that you can face him. His
head is still tipped up to the sky. "That's more than anyone else I've met. You're my best
option. Look, I get it, it might be annoying but-"
"You don't," Levi snaps, cocking his head to look at you. "You don't get it."

You furrow your eyebrows. What the hell does he even mean by that? "Levi, I woke up with
nothing," you say desperately, "and you're the only one that seems to know anything about
me. I get it, it's awful."

He glares. "No, you don't."

"Fine! What don't I get?" you snap.

"You were dead!" Levi retorts, pushing himself up to his feet. You don't stand, instead
choosing to glare up at him. "All three of you," he berates angrily, hands clenched into fists,
"were dead! And it was my-"

He growls, cutting himself off. Levi rakes a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I'm not dead-"
you start.

"You may as well be!" he hisses, and your blood runs cold.

The silence that follows is hollow and threatens to suffocate you. You twist your fingers into
your shirt, torn between being angry and being upset. You'd never really considered how Levi
was feeling. You'd assumed he'd be happy: he thought you were dead, you were in a coma,
and you eventually woke up. Even with no memories, that ought to be better than nothing...
right?

Maybe not. Your heart sinks in your chest. You try to imagine being friends- sorry,
acquaintances- with someone for a few years and then seeing them lose all of their memories,
but it's sort of hard to think of when you have no close friends to imagine that sort of scenario
with.

It feels like Levi is blaming you, though- blaming you for something you had no control over.
"It's not my fault I have amnesia," you say with a glare.

"No, it's mine," Levi shoots back.

"What, did you hit me over the head?" you argue, pinching yourself in the arm as a reminder
to control your temper. He doesn't reply, so you assume the answer's a no. "Then it's not your
fault. I'll get my memories back-"

"Have you?" he says bitterly, his hands dropping by his sides. "Have you gotten any yet?"

You purse your lips, choosing not to reply.

That's answer enough for him. Levi walks back down the roof, and without so much of a
glance back at you, swings over the edge of the roof and out of sight. Presumably, he's
headed back inside.

You sit outside under the stars for another ten minutes before you go back to your room, head
spinning and heart sinking.
Chapter End Notes

I've got a couple chapters already prepped, so I'm going to do my best to update twice a
week for the time being. I'm currently working full-time and part-time so this is subject
to change, aha. Life, am I right?

This is definitely going to be a slow build up, but I'm trying to make sure Levi has a
cameo in every single chapter, because well, it's Levi. That's the whole point of the
story. I'm also trying to work out a backstory for the Reader but it's currently coming out
super messy, so who knows at this point.

Love you all. Thank you for your support so far. Means the world. <3
 0-5
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Two weeks later, Doctor Fizal checks up on your eye.

You've been going off of one eye ever since you woke up. You'd assumed that your eye had
been damaged beyond repair and you'd be forced to wear an eye patch or something for the
rest of your life, so you were taken aback when she told you that she was just giving it
sufficient time to heal.

"I'll be able to see?" you say in surprise as her hands loosen the bandages round your head.

"Most likely not completely," Doctor Fizal says. She continues to pull bandages from your
head. "Best case scenario, fuzzy shapes and outlines. Maybe color. But these sorts of injuries
are very delicate and take time to heal."

You can't help but fidget in excitement when she pulls away the rest of the bandages, leaving
a white patch over your eye. She pulls it away, but you keep your eye closed. "Can I open it?"
you murmur.

"Cover your other eye," she instructs, so you shut your other eye and cover it with your hand.
"Alright. Now open."

You open your eye and slump in defeat.

Maybe it was too much to hope for vision: all you can see is black. You blink slowly. "Give it
a few seconds," Doctor Fizal murmurs. "It'll take some time."

So you wait. You blink a bit more, waiting to see if your vision clears up. To your absolute
delight, some of the black starts to fade away for grey. "I can see shapes," you say excitedly,
and you can hear Doctor Fizal scribbling something down on her paper. "Like- like outlines.
It's all black and grey, but I can- I can see you. Sort of."

"Wonderful," she says smoothly. "Any pain?"

"Not really," you murmur, blinking again.

"Good. Try opening both eyes now."

You try, and the wave of nausea that strikes your brain is overwhelming. You shut your good
eye almost immediately, wincing. "Ow," you grumble, blinking. The black and grey blobs in
your line of vision are now different shades of red and orange. "Not doing that again."

"This is good," she assures you. "Any sight is better than no sight. We'll fit you with an eye
patch and you can try letting your eye adjust every day to check for progress."
And so you do. Every chance you get when no one's around, you unwind your bandages,
remove your patch, cover one eye, and look around with the other. Eventually, the fuzzy
outlines become sharper. There's no color yet, but you can see the edges of your bed, the
chairs, and the tables at the side of the room.

Sometimes it hurts. When the light is too bright or you keep your eye open too long, it feels
like something is pinching at the back of your eye. But the more you try, the longer you can
keep it open.

Doctor Fizal has just dropped off your eye patch on a rainy day when a new visitor appears.

The new person is tall- but it feels like everyone is, compared to Levi- and has brown hair
pulled up in a ponytail on their head. They're wearing the survey corps uniform that you've
seen Levi wear once and have a pair of glasses balanced on their nose; it looks like they'd fall
off with a gust of wind.

"Hi?" you say with a frown.

They wave. "Hi! Nice to meet you! Well, nice to meet you again, I guess."

Your heart sinks: another person you've forgotten that knew you. "Sorry, I don't know-" you
start.

They wave you off, moving into your room and sitting in one of the chairs beside your bed.
"We only met once," they say brightly. "But it was such a great connection that I was hoping
we'd become friends! Sorry it took so long for me to come see you, Commander Erwin said
to limit your visits so you don't get overwhelmed."

"Oh." They're like a whirlwind. "Nice to meet you too."

"I'm Hange Zoe," they say, sticking out their hand. You shake. "It's great to meet you again."
Their eyes zero in on the eye patch that the doctor left on the side table. "Cool, is that an eye
patch? Do you have to wear it?"

"Yeah," you say with a sigh. "It's way too painful to open both eyes and I don't want to wear
bandages everywhere I go."

"Cool!" Hange says enthusiastically, picking it up. "How's your eye now? Better? Worse? I
heard about your accident. Can't believe you survived, honestly. Impressive! Right in a titan's
hand! How was it?"

You blink. "In a titan's hand?"

They pause. "Oh, you didn't know? Oh wait! Amnesia. Right. You don't remember."

"I was in a titan's hand?" you repeat, still trying to wrap your head around it.

Hange nods. "Yeah! I never saw what went down, but when we were recovering the bodies-
gruesome stuff- we found out you were alive and we had to pry you out of a titan's hand."
This is the most information you've gotten about your accident and you're drinking in every
word that Hange is putting down. "Really?" you whisper.

"I can't believe no one told you. Cool stuff! It was evaporating, which made it easier-"

"Evaporating?"

Hange's eyes widen. "Wait- you don't know anything about titans?"

"I didn't know what they were until Erwin explained it," you confess.

Their glasses shine, which is weird because it's raining outside and there's no sun. "A
tragedy," Hange says breathlessly, grabbing your hand. You nearly flinch. "Titans are some of
the most fascinating creatures to ever walk this planet!"

"Don't they kill people?" you say in confusion.

"Minor details." Hange's eyes widen. "Can I tell you about the titans? And everything we
know about them?"

You wish you had known that "sure" was the wrong answer.

Levi brings you tea out of nowhere one day.

You haven't seen him since your argument on the roof. Not that you'd been avoiding him, but
every other time you'd snuck out of your room to look at the stars, Levi had been nowhere to
be found. Well, you wouldn't have been expecting him to hang around a hospital at night
anyways.

He doesn't say a word the entire time. He simply sets the tray down, pours you tea out of a
pot, and pours himself some. You reach out to the tray and take the tea, watching how Levi
once again holds his cup from the rim.

You both drink tea in silence until you ask, "what kind?"

"Ginseng." Levi raises an eyebrow at you. "You like it?"

You nod. "I do."

Levi hums in reply.

And then the tea is done, and you put your cup on the tray, and Levi's already out the door
with his tray before you can even figure out how to thank him.

Your eyesight gradually gets better.

You've become so accustomed to the eye patch that you rarely remove it, except on times
when Doctor Fizal comes to check on you. Another week or so later, and the black-grey blobs
start becoming sharper. Sometimes it feels like the outlines have a yellow tinge, and Fizal
tells you that it's possible you could see colour again. Apparently, if you'd gotten anything in
your eye, it'd be a lost cause. Because it was just a scrape, there were chances of healing.

Your ankle has healed perfectly. You tried running down the hallway, much to Tanner's
chagrin, but it had felt so nice to be running that you had only laughed. The only thing left to
heal, besides your eye, is your brain. No memories have returned to you, and it's hard to stay
optimistic.

When the doctor proposes a meeting with Erwin to suggest the next course of action, you
agree. Erwin had been the one to recruit you for the scouts from the underground; in a way,
you were his problem. Or, at the very least, he had a say in what you were doing.

Tanner brings you to a small room with a table in the center. Doctor Fizal is in the seat at the
head of the table. Erwin is on her left side, facing the door, and you straighten up when you
see Levi. "What..." you trail off, 'what's he doing here' dying on your tongue.

"Take a seat," Erwin says, gesturing to the open side of the table. Tanner takes the seat next to
Fizal and you take the one next to him, directly across from Levi. He meets your eyes with a
cold glare, and you frown in return.

"So it's been about," Doctor Fizal scans her sheet, "six months since your accident and four
since you woke up."

"And about two weeks since you've been cleared," Tanner adds helpfully, like you haven't
been counting down the days.

She shoots him a look, then looks back to the other residents of the table. Levi is sitting with
his arms crossed, eyes fixed on Erwin, who is surveying everyone with no expression on his
face. You pinch your lips together. These four people are the ones determining your fate, and
you're not sure how you feel about that.

"We've had exactly two accident-related amnesia victims in our records," the doctor
continues. You straighten up- you haven't heard this before. "Although a lot of our elderly
tend to lose some of their memories as they grow older. However, I'm considering two
incidents that I had Tanner dig up." She turns to her assistant. "Tanner?"

He smiles and glances at you. "One was twenty-six year old Karim Hanssen," he says.
"Horsing around with friends and hit- uh, he hit his head falling down stairs. Lost four-
maybe five years of his life."

You involuntarily wince.

"And the other was Andres... Castello, Andres Castello. He actually lost his memory twice,"
Tanner continues, almost sounding excited. "Once when he was sixteen- took a hard fall- and
again when he was in his fifties. But that time, there was no recorded accident. Paperwork
probably missing. Funny enough, his father..." he trails off, scanning through the paper,
"Perry Castello, lost his memory when he was in his thirties- again, no paperwork, so no
record of an accident, just listed in his family files. His son was... his son was five at the
time."

Fizal shoots him a glance, and he shrugs. "Well, there's a couple of general amnesia cases
with no injury cause- or at least, no remembrance of the injury. Like..." he rifles through his
papers. "Perry Castello, Grisha Jeager, Timo Zienne. Just a few."

You're wondering why they're telling you this, but Doctor Fizal continues on. "Our only lead
was Mister Hanssen, and even then, he didn't lose everything like you did."

"Did he get his memories back?"

"Not exactly. But he managed to settle into normal life again. His reports say that things felt
familiar and he was able to get back to work."

Well, that's promising, you grumble to yourself.

Levi's eyes turn to you, and you realize you accidentally said that out loud. "So what can I
do?" you ask, fighting the blush that's rising to your cheeks from embarrassment.

"The best thing to do would be to get you back into your old routine. Let you figure things
out for yourself," she replies.

"Old routine," you repeat, feeling slightly more hopeful. "Like, with the scouts?"

"You had about two days of training and one expedition," Erwin says. "I hardly believe that
counts as a routine." He glances sideways. "Levi? You spent a few years with her."

Levi's eyebrows lift slightly. "No way in hell. She's not going back down there."

By there, you're pretty sure he means the underground. You gnaw at your own lip, willing
yourself to stay silent. "Well, maybe she- maybe she can continue that routine up here,"
Tanner suggests mildly.

"You don't want her to do that," he returns. "Unless you want to lose that watch."

Tanner's hand jerks off of the table and into his lap and you can't help but laugh. "They were
criminals in the underground," Erwin says, lips twitching in amusement at your laugh. "And
they've been pardoned as part of their deal for joining the Survey Corps. I hardly think it's
wise to return her to that way of life."

"I wouldn't mind," you say with a straight face, and Tanner's face gets even paler.

"Do you remember anything from what you were like underground?" Doctor Fizal asks
carefully.

You shrug, thinking of the tools in your jacket pocket. "I've gathered that I used to be a thief,"
you say, eyes flitting briefly to Levi. "And apparently a pretty good one."
"Have you- have you stolen anything?" Tanner asks quickly. "Like, impulsively?"

You shake your head. "No."

"She's been picking locks," Levi says.

Snitch. You shoot him the dirtiest glare you can muster, and Doctor Fizal leans in. "Have you
been picking locks?" the doctor says, her voice more intrigued than upset. You nod slowly.
"How do you do it?"

The tools in your pocket feel ridiculously heavy, but Levi hasn't said anything about them, so
you decide not to bring them up. "Well, I don't know," you say honestly with a shrug. "I just...
well, I just do it. If I think about it too much, then it doesn't work, so I just kind of shut my
eyes."

"You can pick locks with your eyes closed?" Tanner murmurs. "Impressive."

Fizal shoots him a sharp look. "We're not encouraging this behavior," she warns, "but it is a
good sign that you're picking up some of your old skills. I believe it's best to settle you down
into a proper routine now that you're healed- well, as healed as you can be," she adds,
gesturing to your eye. You're about to suggest rejoining the scouts when she says, "in a low
stress environment. Perhaps we can figure out a way to contact your family."

You roll your eyes. "Good luck with that."

"No one had family underground," Levi adds, and your shoulders relax a bit knowing that
he's backing you up.

"I can just rejoin the Survey Corps," you suggest.

"No," Levi and Doctor Fizal say at the same time.

So much for the back up from Levi. Your jaw tightens. "Well, if you said my skills can get
picked up again, just let me try."

"Like hell," Levi says, his glare drilling holes into your skull.

"Levi is right," the doctor says patiently. "Karim Hanssen was known to have migraines and
constant headaches, especially when he felt he was on the cusp of remembering something.
It's not a wise move to have you out there."

"But what if that helps me remember something?" you plead. "It's worth a shot."

Levi's glare doesn't waver. "Don't be stupid."

"Actually, she has a point."

Your lord and savior appears in the form of Erwin Smith, who's eyeing you like you're a
puzzle that needs to be solved. You resist the urge to cheer aloud and hug him. "You're
joking," Levi says flatly. "There's no fucking way-"
"If familiar routine may help trigger some memories," the blond man says firmly, "then
wouldn't that be incentive to repeat some of her last steps? Surely the easiest memories to
recover are going to be her most recent ones."

"What he said," you say, crossing your arms. "I don't want people to fill me in- I want to
remember it myself."

Levi clicks his tongue in irritation. "You're not putting her in gear," he snaps, "and it's suicide
to put someone outside the walls without it."

"I can use gear," you protest, having no idea what the word 'gear' actually refers to.

"That's the problem," he says, turning his glare back on you. "You'd probably try to test it out
and you'd get yourself killed. You can't be left on your own."

You want to argue that you're not a little kid, but Erwin steps in again. "I agree that giving her
ODM gear is perhaps too risky," he says, and Levi's shoulders relax slightly. "However, if she
was put in your care the entire time, I'm sure no harm would come to her."

Levi grits his teeth. "I'm no fucking babysitter."

"Our next mission is only one of surveillance," Erwin says, looking at Doctor Fizal. "We've
been scouting out a large forest patch that we have yet to look through. It will not be a
mission of killing titans but instead one of discovery. With our new flare system, we're
planning on avoiding as many titans as possible. Plus," he adds, looking at a frustrated Levi,
"I trust Levi's skills. He took down four titans on his own in the rain with heavy fog and he's
done much more since then. His kill count already rivals that of our veterans. I have full faith
he can protect Miss Logan from whatever, if any, threats come our way."

You want to give Erwin a hug. It's so nice to have someone on your side. "I don't advise it,"
Fizal says, and you go from wanting to give Erwin a hug to wanting to punch her in the face.
"It's dangerous. You're not exactly known for your successes in those missions."

"I've only recently been appointed to commander," Erwin says patiently. "But progress has
been made."

He doesn't say anything else. He's waiting to see what she'll say- she hasn't said no. You
fidget in anticipation, waiting for her to speak.

Finally, she does. "You cannot guarantee her protection," Doctor Fizal says.

Erwin doesn't reply. He studies her.

"But," she continues, and your heart sings, "if you can guarantee she will have the best
possible protection and the mission is not to engage, then I won't argue against it. I believe
there's more pros than cons."

"Besides the fact that there are man-eating monsters out there," Levi retorts icily. "Are you
fucking insane?"
"Are you not the one they're calling Humanity's Strongest?" Fizal replies.

"I don't give a shit what they call me."

"So you can't protect her?"

Levi falls silent. You pinch your own leg under the table to try and contain your excitement.
You glance at Levi. He looks positively murderous.

"Wonderful," Erwin says smoothly. He turns to you. "We leave in three weeks."

"Thank you!" you say brightly. Doctor Fizal's face is carefully neutral, but she nods to you
before she stands up. Tanner shoots you one last look that clearly say 'why the hell would
anyone want to leave the walls' before trailing after Fizal.

You glance back at Levi. If looks could kill, both you and Erwin would be dead.

"Levi," Erwin says calmly, "if you have something to say, we can discuss in my office."

The sound of his chair grating against the floor as he shoves it backwards nearly makes you
wince. Levi tears his eyes away and storms over to the door, throwing it open. He pauses
before he leaves, eyes glued on Erwin. "You and your fucking gambles," he snaps.

The door slams shut, leaving you alone with Erwin. You glance at the blond man. "You're a
gambler?" you ask timidly.

Erwin smirks. "Indeed I am."

You nod slowly, swallowing the lump in your throat, and you stand up. You head over to the
door, ready to head back to your hospital room, until you hear Erwin call your name- your
first name. He's never referred to you by anything other than Logan. You spin around in
surprise.

"I am a gambler," he says firmly, "but this is not one. Saying this is a gamble would imply
there's something I'll willing to lose."

You stare, waiting for him to say any more.

"You have exceptional talent," Erwin continues. Your heart feels like it's hammering against
your ribs. "And it would be a shame to lose that skill, especially since it was my idea to
recruit you. It is, perhaps, foolishly optimistic to hope that one trip outside the walls could fix
everything, but it's always worth a shot."

"Tell that to Levi," you mutter.

He chuckles. "I will. Go get some rest."

You nod, shutting the door as you leave. You press your back against the door for a moment,
exhaling. You're going outside the walls. You're going to go outside the walls.
 Stifling a smile, you head back to your room.

Chapter End Notes

I normally don't update this fast. Guess I'm just excited to get this out into the world-
I've been sitting on this fic for literally over a year and only now managed to gain the
courage to actually post it.

All of the love is so appreciated, it means more to me than you'll ever know. <3
 0-6
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You beg for some sort of training. If they're going to let you out of the walls, you ought to at
least be somewhat prepared. At least, that's what you tell your doctor.

Fizal says it's unwise, but you go to Erwin, and he agrees to get Hange to show you the
basics. Hange has visited you several times in the past few months, and it feels nice to be able
to build up a friendship with someone that isn't completely focused on your lack of memory.

The first thing they show you are the horses. Getting up on one is a little unnatural, and the
horse doesn't seem to like you that much. Hange laughs as you swing upside in your saddle,
nearly smacking your head against the ground. You tuck your chin in at the last second. "I've
got- I've got a faulty saddle!" you excuse quickly.

Hange laughs. "You almost hit your head! You want more amnesia?"

"Obviously not!" you say with a scowl, trying to separate yourself from the horse.

"How would that work?" they muse. "Does the amnesia, like, multiply? Would you forget
things even more than you've already forgotten them?"

"Is that even possible?" you growl under your breath. You finally manage to get your foot out
of the stirrup, and you collapse in a heap to the ground. The horse neighs above you, almost
in amusement. "Oh, shut up," you grumble to the horse.

Hange laughs again and offers you a hand. You let them help you to your feet, and you brush
off your pants. Erwin returned your old uniform, which wasn't much: beige pants, a white
collared shirt, a brown jacket, and a green cloak with the winds insignia on it. You'd left both
the cloak and the jacket behind. It didn't feel right to wear them. "Don't worry," Hange says,
breaking you out of your thoughts. "You'll be riding tandem with Levi, so he'll take care of
most of the work. All you have to do is hold on."

You sigh, looking back at the horse. "No, it's fine," you say firmly. "I want to do this."

"Alright," they say with a sigh as you start attempting to get back up on your horse. "Yeah,
you've got it. Like that. Yep, put your foot there- you've got it! Nice, Logan!" Hange calls as
you hastily takes the reins of the horse, eager not to fall off again. "Yeah, nice and gentle, just
take her forward- oh, crap!"

The horse neighs and rears back. Somehow, you manage to stay on, your hands twisting into
the reins and the horse's mane. "Holy shit!" you cry as the horse gallops forward.

You don't manage to hold on for much longer. The horse turns so sharply that you fall
sideways. Determined not to get tangled in the saddle again, you manage to slip your feet out
of the stirrups and let yourself fall off. The grass does little to break your fall, but it doesn't
hurt much. Maybe you're used to falling down a lot.

"It's progress!" Hange shouts.

Your horse trots back to the barn, looking awfully damn proud of itself.

"Yeah," you scowl through gritted teeth. "Progress."

Your weeks before the expedition are consumed with learning how to ride that stupid horse,
learning the Survey Corps formations from either Hange or Erwin, and the basics of titans
with Hange. So, surprisingly, your unsuccessful riding lessons have been the highlight.

After several unsuccessful attempts of bonding with your horse, Hange introduces you to
Mike- only after asking if it's okay that they share your situation with him. "He's one of our
best!" they say in assurance. "And I'm sure he won't care that you've got amnesia."

"Sure," you say with a shrug. Why not add to your very short list of people who you know?

When you meet Mike, he doesn't feel familiar. He's tall, with faded brown hair and a
mustache, and he holds himself with the dignity of a soldier. He's wearing the full Survey
Corps uniform- pants, boots, shirt, jacket- but somehow he feels more professional than
Hange, who almost looks like they're playing dress up when compared to Mike.

He eyes you. "You have no memories?" Mike asks.

You cross your arms, feeling like you need to be more presentable. "No."

He leans forward, and your first instinct is to jerk back, but you force yourself to stay still.
Mike moves in almost like he wants to whisper in your ear. You stay quiet, listening, and
stiffen when you hear him sniff. "What are you doing?" you ask in surprise, unable to help
yourself.

"He..." Hange trails off. "He likes to sniff people when he first meets them."

He likes to... what? You're so puzzled that you don't say a word as Mike leans back,
apparently content. "Still smells the same as before," he says, glancing at Hange. They shrug.
"Hange says you're having trouble with your horse?"

"My horse is having trouble with me," you say immediately, shooting a withering glare at the
horse. Its reins are tied to the fence post, keeping it from going anywhere. It neighs at you. "It
bucks me off every time I'm on it."

"Well, if you're not nice to her, she won't be nice to you," Mike muses, heading to your horse.

"I'm nice!" you protest, shooting a glare at your horse when Mike isn't looking. "I- I feed her,
I'm not hurting her, she's got water-"
"That's how you measure being nice?" he shoots back, raising an eyebrow at you. "By not
causing any physical harm and providing her with basic necessities?" He almost looks
disappointed. "That's just basic decency."

Your words die in your throat.

Something surfaces in your brain. Sharp pain shoots through your head and you squeeze your
eyes shut. The warmth of a fire. Heat in your throat from some sort of drink. You squeeze
your eyes shut, and your headache must be awful because somehow, you hear laughter.

Then a glass breaks and your eyes shoot open.

"Hey! You zoned out there."

You blink, looking up to Hange. They're staring at you with a grin, but their eyebrows are
creased with worry. They ask you if you're alright, and you nod. "Fine, sorry," you say. You
turn back to Mike. "Sorry. I guess I'm not that good with animals."

Mike shrugs, patting your horse's mane. "She just needs a bit more respect. Horses are
prideful animals."

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. Slowly, you head over to your horse. Mike
takes his hand away and you press yours into the side of your horse's neck, head pounding.
What was that? A memory of sorts? Nothing concrete comes to mind. Sighing, you stroke
your horse's mane. "Sorry," you mutter, wondering if somehow the animal would understand.
"Can we try this again?"

The horse snorts as if to say, finally.

Carefully, you hook your foot into a stirrup and grab the top of the saddle, then swing
yourself over. The horse stays and allows you to settle in, making sure you're balanced and
set up. You lightly take the reins. "Okay, let's..." you huff. "Let's take a lap."

You squeeze with your thighs, and the horse lurches forward. You steady yourself, and as the
horse picks up speed, try to remember everything Hange tried to teach you about riding.
"Come on, dumbass," you whisper to yourself, and then your eyes widen, "me! I'm the
dumbass. Not you, you're a smart horse."

The horse whinnies in agreement. You laugh and tug lightly to the right, and she turns.

Eventually, you make it all the way around the enclosure: a full lap. When you make it back,
Hange is bouncing from foot to foot in excitement, and Mike is smirking. "You got it!"
Hange whoops, hands punched in the hair. "Not bad for two weeks of work!"

You can't help but grin- their attitude is infectious. "Thanks," you say, patting your horse.
"Took me way too long though. Isabel would've got it in a day, tops."

You unwind your hands from the reins and pull your boots out of the stirrups. With a bit more
confidence, you swing your leg over the horse and lower yourself to the ground. Pleased with
yourself, you turn back to Mike and Hange. Mike has an eyebrow raised at you and Hange's
jaw has slipped open. Their eyes are wide in surprise and a bit of worry.

"What?" you say, grinning. "Didn't expect me to get off okay?"

"You- you know Isabel?" Hange asks in disbelief.

You frown. "Who?"

"You just mentioned someone named Isabel," Mike says slowly, exchanging a slow glance
with Hange.

"I... I don't know an Isabel," you say, eyebrows knitting together.

"But you just said," Hange says, eyes darting from Mike and back to you. You almost shrink
back- they're acting like you're crazy. "You just said Isabel would've got it in a day. Isabel is-
Isabel was-"

Mike clears his throat. "Hange."

You look between the two of them, feeling uncomfortable. "I told you, I don't remember
anything," you say firmly, "but I'm trying. If- if I remember an Isabel, I'll be sure to let you
know. The name doesn't ring any bells. I don't know what you're talking about."

You grip your horse's reins and turn her back to the stable, brain pounding in your skull,
Hange's eyes drilling holes into your head from behind you.

On the day of the expedition, Erwin gives you two handheld devices with grappling hooks
and a harness.

"It's an early prototype of the devices that the military police use," he says patiently. Levi is
waiting next to you, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "Their ODM gear is designed for
maneuvering between buildings while ours is meant for killing titans, so there are some
differences. The biggest one is that their hooks come from the guns they hold."

You turn them over in your hands in fascination. It's bulkier than a gun, and the hooks on the
ends looks like they could skewer you through the head if you're not careful.

"It's a precaution," Erwin explains. "It would be ill-advised to have you outside of the walls
completely un-equiped. This is meant as a last resort. We are headed for a forest, so all you
would have to do is aim it upwards and let it pull you up into the trees. It is only to be used in
stages of emergency." His eyes harden. "Is that understood?"

"Y- Yes," you stammer, clipping the handles of the gun-like objects to your belt.
"Emergencies only."

Erwin glances at Levi. "She's never used it before, so there's no risk of her attempting to
regain past skills. I doubt she will have to use it."
"Fine," Levi mutters.

The blond man nods curtly and looks back at you. "You'll be riding with Levi," he says.
"Under no circumstances are you do anything other than observe. If you remember anything,
immediately inform Levi. You will obey anything myself or Levi asks of you, with no
hesitation. Is that clear?"

You nod. "Yes, sir."

"Even," Erwin says, his voice low, "if I command you to hide up in the trees and you have to
watch comrades getting eaten below."

You swallow.

"Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Erwin smiles. "Saddle up."

You follow Levi to his horse: a black stallion around twice his size. You glance around at the
other scouts. Erwin had apparently told the other squad leaders that you were accompanying
them on the expedition, but not why- so it was understandable that you were getting wary
glances. You fiddle with your harness. There's too many straps and things to tighten, and it's
not even a Survey Corps harness- those look so much more complicated.

"Damn it," you curse, nearly cutting off the circulation in one arm as you tighten it.

"Useless," Levi comments, guiding his horse out into the formation.

You scowl, trailing after him. "I've never done this," you protest, readjusting one of the
straps.

Levi groans in impatience and grabs your shoulder, then seizes your straps. "Let go," he
orders, and you do. Levi makes quick work of your harness, and the proximity between the
two of you sets you on edge. You try to keep track of everything he's doing so that you can do
it next time. "Done," he say dully, turning away. Swallowing your nerves, you watch Levi
hop up onto his horse easily and take his hand when he offers it.

You slide up behind him, and after a long internal debate, settle on wrapping your arms
around his waist. "Got everything?" he asks, his eyes trained forwards.

The guns with the grappling hooks feel heavy on your waist. "Yep," you murmur.

He throws something over his shoulder, and you're hit in the face by a green cloak. "Wrong.
You forgot this." It's the green Survey Corps cloak that Erwin had returned to you. It feels
wrong to wear it, and Levi seems to sense your doubts because he adds, "stop worrying and
put it on. We're leaving."
 Hastily, you fasten up the cloak. It feels weird. You put your arms back around Levi, trying to
ignore the weird intimacy between you and someone that seems to hate your guts.

Levi guides the horse in with the rest of the scouts until everyone is positioned in front of the
wall- Wall Rose. It's so much taller up close, and you involuntarily tighten your grip around
Levi. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. You have no idea what's out there.

"No getting cold feet now," Levi says.

You scowl. "I'm fine."

The gates open, and the horses begin to run. You squeeze your eyes shut, letting your head
fill with the sound of horse hooves pounding the ground around you. You count up to ten,
then open your eyes.

It's so bright. It feels like you're seeing a whole new side of the sun. The fresh outdoor air
from inside the walls suddenly doesn't compare to the outside. The air is crisp, and when you
inhale it's like a shock to your lungs. Your grip on Levi loosens as you lean backwards
slightly, tipping your head up to the sky. The sky seems so endless, and without the walls in
the way, it feels like the landscape stretches on forever.

You lean sideways slightly, looking at the horses in front of Levi. There's trees in the
distance, and some smaller buildings and broken structures. It's gorgeous.

"Wow," you breath, looking back up to the sky. There's only a few clouds in the sky, and the
sun feels like it's warming your skin. You let go of Levi, squeezing your thighs tighter around
the horse so you don't fall off, and you spread your arms out, the wind ruffling your cloak.
You laugh. "This is great," you say with another laugh, leaning backwards.

Unbeknownst to you, Levi is smirking, but he banishes it before you can see. "You did this
the first time," he says.

You pull yourself forwards again, putting your arms back around Levi's waist. "What?"

"The first time we made it outside of the walls."

You smile softly to yourself. You're sure that things are going to get ugly quite shortly, but
you'll enjoy being outside for the time being.

You think about what Levi said. First time outside the walls. Whoever that woman was, you'd
love to meet her. She sounds... free.

The horses ride on.

Chapter End Notes

Next update will be on Monday! Thanks for reading! :)
 0-7
Chapter Notes

TW: Nothing major, but a bit of a panic attack (and Levi has a unique way of helping).
Just thought a warning would be nice.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Some horses veer off, heading in different directions but remaining in small packs. Levi stays
behind Erwin, with Hange on your right and Mike on your left. That's good- people you
know. Some of the Corps had given you weird looks when you hopped up on Levi's horse, so
it's comforting being around people who know your exact situation.

You ride for maybe half an hour before you hear a shout. "Titan in the east!" Hange shouts,
and you look up. There's some sort of creature that looks vaguely human lumbering towards
you, its arms swinging awkwardly. It's walking like its ankles are both broken, and it's
swinging a mop of black hair side to side as it jogs.

"What the..." you trail off, eyes wide. That's a titan?

"It's too close!" Hange calls. "Must be an abnormal!"

"Zach's squad has it handled!" Erwin calls, and you tighten your grip slightly around Levi.
You watch, fascinated, as two people swoop up between the buildings. The titan bats at one,
but the figure ducks. The second spec heads for the nape, and you can barely make out the
spray of blood. The titan falls.

"Wow," you murmur.

Levi leans backwards slightly. "Remember to-"

"Tell you if I remember anything," you interrupt. "I know." You lower your voice. "And if
nothing happens, I'll just make something up so this whole mission thing doesn't feel
useless."

"Idiot."

The horses ride on, cantering over the plains. You're wracking your brain for memories-
riding a horse, slaying titans- but nothing comes up. You purse your lips. Maybe this is a
good thing. From the sounds of it, these memories might be better off not coming back.

Red flares start popping up ahead of you. That should mean titans ahead. Erwin pulls out a
flare gun and shoots a green flare off to the left, and Levi slowly leans his horse left. The
group rides on for another half hour, but you don't run into any titans. This was the strategy
Erwin had talked about; avoiding rather than engaging unless necessary.

Another half hour in silence goes by, the wind messing up your hair beyond quick repair, but
a giant forest eventually appears over the hill. "Is that where we're going?" you ask Levi.

He nods in reply. "Hold on tight."

"Why?"

"We're going up into the trees."

"I can do it," you say, thinking of the gear Erwin gave you.

Levi's tone is sharp and leaves no room for discussion. "That's a last resort option and you're
only to use it in case of emergencies. It'd be suicide to be out here without it. You don't have
practice and counting on suppressed memories doesn't count as experience."

You frown. "But I can-"

"No. Non-negotiable."

You purse your lips so that you don't say anything else. It's frustrating, but you can't push
your luck.

Levi starts speaking again, but he's a bit quieter and less sharp than before. "The last thing we
need right now is you getting injured trying to use gear. Remember what the deal was. You
obey everything Erwin and I tell you to, no hesitation."

"Fine," you grumble, shifting your grip around his waist. "Sorry."

You enter the trees behind another group. You keep your eyes up, looking up at the high
branches. "This is perfect for you guys," you murmur, thinking about the Survey Corps flying
around with their gear. "Plenty of trees for hooks and high branches."

"You better not be afraid of heights," Levi warns.

"I guess I'll find out," you mutter.

You pass some members from the front squad dealing with a titan that was wandering
through the trees. A short one- maybe three or four meters- and with all of the trees for
protection and maneuvering, they defeat it easily. The final kill looks so... so graceful.

Finally, the horses make way into a clearing. Erwin calls out orders to the groups in front, and
the Survey Corps begin tying off their horses and heading up into the trees. They all spread
out, heading off in pairs in various directions. They're surveying the area. It's well organized
and it just makes you want to become a scout even more.

You swing yourself off the horse and Levi hops down off the other side, takes the horse's
reins and tying him off with the rest of them. You glare up at the tree above you, the
grappling hooks on your hips suddenly extra heavy. You could probably-

"No. Don't even think about it."

"I was just thinking about it," you say with a scowl, crossing your arms. "I wasn't going to do
it."

Levi raises an eyebrow at you like he doesn't believe you, then glances back at Erwin. Erwin,
still giving orders to the last Survey Corps that are joining them in the forest, nods. Levi turns
back to you. "Hold on."

"Hold on how?" you say, suddenly nervous for the proximity. Being on a horse with your
arms around his waist had been daunting but manageable. Now?...

"Tight," is his response. "On my back."

You move behind him, and instead of grabbing around his waist, you hook your arms around
his shoulders. As soon as you've got a grip, Levi shoots up with no warning, and you cry out
in surprise. "Holy shit!" you exclaim as he shoots through the air, sailing clear over one
branch and through the trees. Your grip tightens involuntarily. "Oh, holy shit!"

Levi lands on a thick branch, coming to an abrupt stop, and you nearly stumble. "You're
going to choke me out," he complains, glaring at you.

"A bit of a warning would be great," you snap back, carefully extracting your arms from him
and stepping out onto the branch. Levi's flown a bit away from the rest of the corps, although
you can still see Erwin clearly- yep, he's watching you. Great. You look down and are
surprised that you don't immediately stagger. You're pretty high up, but the branch is so thick
you could lay down on it and you'd be in no danger of falling. "Huh," you say.

"No fear of heights, then," Levi says.

You frown. "You knew that, though. Didn't you?"

He doesn't reply- as per usual. You sigh to yourself, looking through the trees. You sort of
like being high up. It makes you feel separated from the world. Your gaze drifts and you
squint at the vast forest in front of you. Is that something coming towards you? "Titan?" you
ask.

Levi follows your gaze. There's a titan not as big as the first one you saw but bigger than the
other one you saw in the forest. "Yeah," he says with a small sigh. "I got it."

"Permission to use my gear if you're getting eaten?" you say sarcastically.

He shoots you a glare. "No."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."
"You and Erwin are ridiculous," you say with a scowl, crossing your arms. "What if I fall?"

"You won't," Levi says sharply, his eyebrows furrowing. You're wondering if he's saying that
for reassurance or if he just knows you won't fall- maybe you've got impeccable balance?-
when he adds, "I won't let you."

You're half tempted to just jump off the branch and make him follow through with that.
"Fine," you mutter. "Go kill your stupid titan."

"I was going to until you started yammering," Levi says, eyeing the titan.

You snort. "I'm not stopping you. Don't make me kill it myself."

Levi shoots you a withering glare (which you pointedly ignore) and casually steps off of the
branch, letting himself fall. You watch him, studying his mannerisms as he shoots one of his
hooks into the trunk of the tree you're standing and swings to the trunk, standing sideways.

The titan, which has been slowly lumbering in your general direction, starts jogging towards
Levi. God, these things look so weird when they run. You're wondering what Levi's plan is
until he rockets upward right as the titan lunges. Your eyes go from low to high as you follow
Levi's movements- he's up above you now. He flies to the tree across from you, presumably
to get an easy strike at the nape.

You look down again. Would the titan spin to follow Levi? What would he do then? Despite
the Survey Corps being so dangerous and titan killing being one of the easiest ways to get
yourself killed, you're not worried for Levi. Your gaze fixes on the titan below you.

It's not looking at Levi. It's stopped and has its head tilted back, beady black eyes fixed on
you. You look down curiously, wondering why it's so interested in you.

Even when Levi swoops in, it never keeps its eyes off of you. How weird. It feels like it's
looking into your soul...

A blurry memory strikes you.

It's smiling up at you, wide dark eyes boring into your soul. Ah. So it's going to drop you into
its mouth, then.

Your brain screams like something just exploded in your head. You cry out, bringing your
hands up to your forehead, which feels like someone is trying to split it open with a hammer.
Your eyes squeeze shut, but all you can see is a titan staring up at you, its jaw open- you're in
its hand-

You sink down on the branch, somewhat conscious of the space around you, and use the
trunk to sit yourself down. You press your back into the wood and curl your knees up to your
chest, pressing your fingers into your head. It hurts, oh god, it hurts like hell. Tears are
gathering in your eyes and the ringing in your head is so loud that you scrape your nails at
your scalp in a feeble attempt to get rid of it.

"Hey!"
There's a sharp sting against your cheek and your eyes shoot open in surprise.

"Idiot, calm down," someone says, and you feel a hand seize the front of your cloak. You
desperately blink the tears out of your eyes, trying to refocus. "You're fine," the voice says
plainly, and as your vision clears, you realize it's Levi. "Breathe."

Easier said than done. Admittedly, your migraine is subsiding, so you try to force some air
into your lungs. Looking down shows a dead titan, the smoke from its corpse billowing up
into the trees. Looking up shows Levi, his hand tangled in the front of your cloak. He's
crouched in front of you, eyeing you warily.

The ringing dies down, and as it does, your eyes widen. Did he slap you?

He must see the anger in your eyes because he says, "you were hyperventilating. Calm down
and tell me what you remember."

You're still a bit miffed that his method of pulling you away from a panic attack was to hit
you, but you bite your lip and inhale slowly, trying to relax. You think back to the titan below
the tree and how close it was, then the flash of what you assume is a memory... wait.

Something clicks in your head, and your jaw drops. "You did that on purpose!" you snap, and
in frustration, you whip a hand out and smack Levi across the cheek.

His head doesn't even budge. Levi blinks, surprised but not hurt, and he lets go of your cloak.
"What?"

"You- You let that titan get close on purpose," you stammer, trying to put your thoughts
together. "Because you- you knew it would trigger something! You could've killed that earlier
but you let it get close so that I could- so that I could see it from that angle..."

"I didn't know," he says calmly.

"But you guessed, asshole," you retort, using the tree trunk to push yourself to your feet. Levi
stands up with you, taking a step back. "So you- if you knew that would trigger something,
then you were- you were there! You could've told me instead of dragged a titan under the tree
and then-"

"I thought you wanted to remember things yourself," Levi snaps.

You bite your tongue, hating him for throwing your argument back in your face but having
nowhere to go from there. You deflate, letting your shoulders relax. "Hange said I was in a
titan's hand. I was going to get eaten, wasn't I?" you say dully, glancing down at the corpse.
"Did you save me?"

You can feel Levi staring at you but you refuse to look up. "Not entirely," he mutters.

Not entirely. "That's where I got injured, then?" you reply bitterly.

"I chopped its wrist off and you fell. You hit your head off of a fucking rock," Levi snaps
angrily, nearly making you flinch from the sudden ferocity in his tone, "and it took your eye
along with it. I didn't-" he stops himself, swallowing hard. "I had to save two people. I had to
hope you'd be okay from the drop so I could have a chance to save the other one."

He's apologizing, in a weird sort of way. Why he couldn't have found a better way to save
you.

"There's no excuse," he adds, and it's abundantly clear in that moment that he blames himself
for your accident. "I've chosen not to regret my decisions."

So maybe he doesn't blame himself, exactly, but he knows he's at fault. Apparently you'll
never know what's going on in Levi's head. "Did you save them?" you ask quietly.

"Who?"

"The other one."

"No."

"Oh." You pause, scrunching your eyes shut. You're trying to recall that memory, figure out
what happened to you, when a name that Levi told you ages ago pops into your head.
"Farlan."

Levi's head snaps up so fast that he looks like he got whiplash. "What?"

"That's who it was," you continue quietly. "Right?"

"You remember him?" he pushes.

You're about to object that no, you don't- why would you- when you realize you do. It was
one of the first two names Levi mentioned to you. It meant nothing to you a minute ago, but
now you can picture a face. Soft brown hair, a clever smile that made it look like he knew
what you were thinking.

Your jaw slips open, and you stare dumbly at Levi. He waits, eyebrows raised in anticipation.
"I..." you trail off.

Another flash of something- maybe a memory- hits you, and it's jarring. You can feel a chill
down your spine- you're standing in the rain, boots in the mud, blade drawn, side by side with
this man that you didn't remember until a few seconds ago. Being picked up by a strong hand,
being trapped-

Another sharp pang in your head.

He smiles. "I love you too!" Farlan calls.

"No," you moan, pressing your hands to your forehead as the memory leaves as quickly as it
came. Levi's by your side in an instant, a hand clenched tight around your elbow so that you
don't topple off the tree branch. "No, no!" You curse under your breath, trying to remember as
much as you can.
 "Oi. Talk to me," Levi snaps, tugging you.

You stumble, and his hand grabs your other elbow, balancing you. "He said I love you too,"
you mutter.

He reels back like he's been slapped. "What?"

"His last words," you clarify, and Levi's shoulders sag. "I think."

He's strangely silent, but he's biting his lip and looks like he's bursting with questions.
"Everything," Levi demands simply. "Now."

So you try to put it all into words. "We were standing in the- in the rain?" you say
questionably, meeting Levi's eyes. You drop your gaze almost immediately when you realize
how intensely he's looking at you. "Mud. We were side by side, I think, and we were facing
a... facing a titan, but it... something grabbed me," you say, gathering more confidence in
what you know. "Something grabbed me and I think... I think I told him I loved him because I
wanted to..."

Why? Why would you say something like that? Were you in love with him? Shouldn't you
feel a stronger connection if you were? "I wanted to go out on a good note or something,"
you say lamely. "I think. And then he said he loved me too, and... and that's all I remember."

Levi is so rigid that he looks like a stone statue. "You were in love with him?" he says.

You shrug weakly. "I- I don't know. I don't think so? Probably not. He's- he's gone now
though, so I guess it doesn't matter."

He doesn't reply. Instead, he orders you to stay where you are and he swoops away to meet up
with another squad leader. There's no titans here, and although Levi never comes back to
your branch, he's always got an eye on you. Eventually, you sit yourself down and study the
area. One day you'll be allowed to zip around like the rest of the scouts. One day.

After maybe twenty minutes of inaction, there's a two quick flare gun rounds: the signal to
reconvene. Levi finally rejoins you where you are, refusing to make eye contact the entire
time, and the two of you descend in silence. The entire ride back is dead silent, and you
spend the time trying to gather your thoughts and try to put shards of memory into place.

When you fall asleep that night, you dream of Isabel and Farlan.

Chapter End Notes

Aaaaand now I'm officially caught up with where I am on Wattpad. Next update will be
Friday and should be every Friday from there on out as long as I can keep my shit
together.
Thank you so much for over 150 kudos, I feel so loved <3
 0-8
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You'd never had a memory come to you in a dream before.

You wish it hadn't been this one.

Sairam had always been friendly. Despite the four of you coming to the scouts with no official
training or friends other than yourselves, he'd introduced himself to you. He'd been kind. It
had made the corps feel more likeable.

And now he was in a titan's mouth.

They came out of nowhere, surrounding the five of you through the thick veil of smoke. It was
supposed to be smooth sailing. Levi was out hunting Erwin, but it was Levi- he'd be fine.
Squad leader Flagon was going to lead you back to the main group: you, Sairam, Farlan,
and Isabel. You were all going to be okay.

Then, through the fog, a titan's hand swooped down and grabbed Sairam off his horse. As he
was lifted up, the fog seemed to separate, showing two more titans behind him. "Sairam!"
Flagon howled, steering his horse towards him. "Don't move! I'm coming to get you!"

You're already moving to jump off your horse. "I got him!" you shout.

"Don't!" Farlan yells.

It's too late for Sairam anyways. The titan's jaw clamps shut and there's a spray of blood.
There's something about seeing your comrade being swallowed so close that hits your brain
differently- that had almost been Isabel.

"Sairam!" Flagon cries.

"Forget him, you idiot!" Farlan shouts. "There's no way we can take on five of them in this
rain!"

You can't even call him heartless. He's right, of course- Sairam's dead and there's nothing
you can do about it. Wait, five? Did he say five? You squint at the fog and nearly lose your
balance. There's two more small ones coming out from behind the two larger ones and the
one that ate Sairam.

Farlan: always the smart one. "We have to scatter-" he starts.

The titan in front of you comes out of nowhere. You cry out in surprise and jerk your horse
sideways, and it manages to veer out of the way. Isabel manages to stop her horse in time
too; you see her peel off in the same direction as you. Farlan isn't so lucky. His horse tumbles
to the ground with him still riding it, trapping his leg under it.

"Farlan!" you cry, turning your horse back towards him.

"I got the titan!" Isabel cries fiercely, and she shoots through the air above your head. "Get
Farlan!"

Without hesitation, you vault off of your horse and dash over to Farlan, your boots slipping
in the mud. "What are you doing?" he snaps as you bend down next to him. "Get out of here!"

"Not without you!" you snap back, looping your arms under his shoulders and pulling.

Above you, Isabel howls and slices through the fingers of the titan that knocked over Farlan's
horse. You give Farlan another hard tug and he yells. After a third hard pull, you finally
manage to wrestle him free.

"Isabel," Farlan croaks, and you look back up as Isabel misses her slice- hitting shoulder
instead of nape- and swoops around to the back.

And then she slips. And she falls limply into the titan's back.

"Isabel!" you cry out, and since Farlan isn't momentarily in danger, you let go of him and
shoot your hooks into the side of the titan's neck. It's not focused on you- it's starting to stand
up, trying to reach for Isabel on its back- and you fly up to its neck, hands shaking. Your
blades slice through the back of its neck in one clean shot. First kill.

As you free fall, you spin in midair to check on Isabel, and the world seems to stop.

You worried about the wrong titan.

The giant blond one launches itself at the back of the titan you just killed, where Isabel is
hanging. She locks eyes with you, and for the first time since you've met her, she looks scared.
Her lips form a name you can't make out.

You shoot your hooks at the second titan, but you're too late. Isabel is crushed into the back
of the titan in a spray of blood.

"No!" you shriek, and in one swift movement, you slice through the back of the titan's neck,
spraying yourself with both its and Isabel's blood. The momentum that propelled you towards
it sends you hurtling past the now-dead titan and into the ground.

You land on your left foot, and you can hear an audible cracking sound. Fire shoots up your
leg. You try to spin around, foolishly looking for Isabel- god, you're covered in her blood.

"Hey!" Farlan cries out, waving at you. "Over here!"

You try to stand, but your foot collapses underneath you. You're sure that adrenaline is
keeping most of the pain at bay. Farlan jogs over to you instead. "My foot," you gasp,
refusing to look down and see how bad it is. "Think I broke it." You're also missing the blade
you used- it must've got thrown away when you fell. You've got one left.

"My gear's not working," he confesses, and your heart drops in your chest. "Broke when I
fell."

You both stare at each other. Is this it? Is this how you die?

Farlan shakes his head, glancing up. There's a small, five meter titan lumbering towards you.
"We're not giving up yet," he says firmly, drawing his sword. "Levi's still out there
somewhere."

Levi. Something burns in your chest. "I don't need my feet to fly," you mutter, balancing
yourself on one foot.

Luckily, neither of you have to do anything. Someone shoots up and slices through the back of
the titan's neck, causing it to fall to the muddy ground. To your surprise, Flagon appears
from the fog. "How could I abandon my squad?" he shouts, waving a blade at them. "Find
horses and get out of here!"

"Behind you!" Farlan cries, but it's too late. A large hand sweeps out and grabs your squad
leader with a sickening crunch.

"Flagon!" you shout, and you get ready to shoot forward but your foot slips. You drop to your
knees in the mud, the pain in your ankle and foot starting to catch up to you. "No, shit," you
croak, looking up, but it's too late. Flagon's head disappears into the titan's mouth. "No-"

Farlan helps you up, his hands pulling at your arms and steadying you. "We fight to the end,
right?" he says with a weak smile.

You're torn between wanting to give him a hug and calling it quits now or giving these
fuckers a fight before you go down. Isabel's face is still fresh in your mind and it makes you
want to cry. No, you've got to fight. For her sake, and for Farlan, who's ready to stand up to
the titans despite having ODM gear that doesn't work.

Levi. Farlan said he'd come back- you have to believe that.

"We fight to the end," you echo, balancing on one foot.

The timing of it is so ironic that you're not sure whether to laugh or cry when the titan hand
shoots out of the fog beside you and grabs you. Farlan cries out and slices at the titan's
fingers, but the hand pulls away at the last second and he misses. The titan you two were
looking at before grabs Farlan while he's distracted.

Farlan's face fills with panic, then acceptance. It's the end of the line for both of you.

You lock eyes with him as each of you are lifted up into the air. Your arms are pinned by your
sides, your blade is trapped; there's nothing you can do. You manage a wry smile at Farlan.
"I love you!" you yell over the rain, because it's the truth and you'd like your last words to be
something hopeful. You haven't known him for very long- two years- but he's the closest thing
to a brother you've ever had.

He smiles. "I love you too!" Farlan calls.

Tears fighting at your eyes, you squeeze them shut. You try not to think of Isabel, so scared in
her final moments. You think of Farlan and his smile. That'll be the last thing you see before
you die. Yes, that sounds good.

It feels like you just keep rising. How big is this titan? Is it going to stuff your head in its
mouth like Flagon, or are you going to be dropped feet first?

You were going to have Farlan smiling as the last thing you see, but your curiosity gets the
best of you. You open your eyes. You're still in the titan's hand, but you're being held up over
its head. It's smiling up at you, wide dark eyes boring into your soul. Ah. So it's going to drop
you into its mouth, then.

The fog is so thick around you that you can't even see the ground anymore. Or maybe it's the
blurriness in your eyes. For some reason, you think of Levi. You hope he doesn't blame
himself for this- it's not his fault. There's so many things you wish you could've said to him.

You glare down at the titan. "Fuck you," you tell it. So much for 'I love you' being your last
words.

Its grip loosens. Time slows down.

Then, there's a flash. Some sort of blur. The titan's expression doesn't change, but somehow
you've started to fall? It hasn't let go of you, and your arms are still pinned in its hand. As
you tip over, you finally get a good look at what happened: the titan's hand has been severed
from its wrist.

Levi.

You can't see him, but you know in your gut that it was him- maybe he's saving Farlan. The
titan's hand cushions your fall, barely. It strikes the ground and sends mud spraying up
around you. The wind is knocked out of you and it feels like you can't breathe.

The whiplash sends your neck snapping forward. You try to twist your head to the side, but
you're too slow.

Your head smacks into a rock. Pain shoots through your eye,

and then there's nothing.

You wake up with tears in your eyes.

That was no dream. That was definitely a memory.

 Judging by the darkness outside, it's still not morning yet- so theoretically, you could sleep
for a few more hours. It feels like your brain is foggy, but their faces are clear.

"Isabel," you murmur, tucking your knees up to your chest. "Farlan."

They died. They were out with you on a mission, they were your friends, and they died. Yet
you're here. You lived. They deserve to be remembered, at the very least. Levi's only
mentioned them in passing, but if what Erwin had told you is true and you all came up from
the underground together, Levi must've been close with the two of them.

And out of the three of you, you were the one that lived. The one he could barely tolerate.

"Shit," you whisper, a weak laugh bubbling up in your throat. "Oh, shit."

No wonder he resents you.

Despite the nightmarish memory still gnawing at your brain, somehow, you manage to fall
back asleep.

Chapter End Notes

So I said Friday. It's Thursday. I lied. Yay? Mostly because this chapter was just a
flashback and I was like "this is the shit I'm giving them this week? No."

I detest doing purely flashback chapters and I hate myself for doing this, so there's
another chapter on the way. Should be up Saturday night (I'm in EST, for reference).

Hope you're all staying safe and healthy. Thanks for reading! :)
 0-9
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Isabel slips, and you shoot your hooks into the back of the titan's neck. You swing your
blades, but you miss, and when you turn around again, she's being pulled at in two different
directions by two titans-

At the last second, her eyes lock on you. Her face is devoid of any expression as she says,
"this is your fault."

Then she's torn in half, and you're drowning in blood, and-

"No!"

You sit up, the scream dying in your throat, hand reaching out to something that's not there. It
takes you a moment to realize where you are (still in your hospital room) but by the time
you've gathered your bearings, the vividness of your dream starts sinking onto your
shoulders.

You want to lie and tell yourself it wasn't real, and although that exact scenario isn't what
came up in your memory, it still makes your insides churn. You want to douse your brain in
some sort of acid and scrub it clean.

Your breakfast is already sitting on the side table, so you eat by yourself. It's awful, being
alone with your thoughts. After such a vivid memory, you should be trying to write down as
much as you can, or at the very least, relay the information to someone.

You can't wipe the look in Isabel's eyes from your mind.

A minute later, you stumble into your bathroom, vomiting up the contents of your breakfast.
You can't erase the memory from your head, as much as you desperately wish you could.
How odd. You spent months longing for memories, to remember something, anything, and
now you want nothing more than to sink your brain into acid and pretend you never
remembered anything to begin with.

Thankfully, your first visitor is Hange and not Levi. They come in, as bubbly as usual,
bandages wrapped around their wrist. "Nothing major, just fell," they say with a wave of their
good hand. "You're the important one, though! How was your first- well, second- time
outside the walls?"

"I remember how they died," you say hollowly.

Hange pauses. "They? You mean- your friends?"

"Yeah."
For a rare moment, your friend is quiet, drinking in what you said and perhaps registering the
haunted look in your eyes. "Ah, well, that's the life of the scouts," they say softly, taking a
seat next to your bed. "We lost six people yesterday. Just a simple scouting mission to check
out the forest and we still lost six."

You didn't know that. "Does it get easier?" you whisper. "Seeing everyone die?"

Hange smiles wryly. "I guess anything would be easier than the deaths of your closest
friends."

You purse your lips and look down, starting to feel embarrassed. You're reeling from a
memory of nearly seven months ago, but the rest of the Survey Corps go through this every
single mission and keep it together.

"Don't beat yourself up," Hange says, as if they can sense what you're thinking. "You're
remembering them only now. It's bound to be tough."

"Thanks," you mutter.

The two of you sit in silence for a while. Hange casually turns their wrist over in their lap,
giving you your space. You glance at your window; although it only shows you the side of
another building, you can see the light rainfall coming down.

You need to talk to Levi. Even if you don't want to, you need to tell him what you know.
"Hange?" you whisper. "Where's Levi?"

They stand up. "I'll get him."

"Oh- I can go to him," you protest, swinging your legs off the side of the hospital bed. "It's no
big deal."

Hange puts a hand on your shoulder. You're a bit surprised by the sudden urge to strip the
hand off and shove them away- how weird of you. "Relax. Stay here. I'll go grab him." They
smile wryly. "Besides, I think he's having tea."

Pursing your lips, you sit back down. Hange shoots you one last smile and leaves, closing the
door behind them.

Ten minutes later, Levi enters, carrying a tray. You straighten up. He walks to the chair beside
your bed, setting the tray down before he takes a seat. He doesn't say a word or meet your
eyes: he attends to his tea, pouring two cups.

"It's rosemary," he says before you can ask. "Rosemary tea."

You nod in thanks and reach out for the cup, surprised at how shaky your hands are. As soon
as you grab the hook of the cup, it starts shaking, sending tea spilling over the edge. "Shit,"
you curse as the hot liquid hits your hand.

"Oi. Idiot." Levi grabs your tea cup by the rim to steady it, in the strange way he likes to hold
it. You let go, and Levi sets the cup back on the tray. He pulls a handkerchief out of his jacket
pocket and presses it over your hand. "Careful, dumbass," he mutters.

His index finger brushes again the inside of your palm and it feels like fire is shooting
through your arm. "Thanks," you mutter, jerking your hand back like you've been shocked.

Levi wrinkles his nose in irritation. "You can't keep it."

"Not going to," you shoot back.

"Then don't spill your tea. Don't waste it."

"Didn't mean to," you mutter, setting Levi's handkerchief on the tray. His eyes follow you as
you reach out for the cup again. You pause, looking at the way Levi's holding his cup. Well,
why not. You wrap your fingers around the edge of the cup and pick it up.

Levi raises an eyebrow at you. You raise the cup to your lips and tip your hand back to pour
some of the tea into your mouth.

There's a method to Levi's madness. Somehow, the cup doesn't fall from your fingers. "Shut
up," you mutter. Somehow, without changing his expression, Levi seems more smug than
before. "I, uh, I..." you trail off. "Did Hange say anything to you?"

He shakes his head. "They just told me you wanted to see me."

You swallow. "I had a dream."

"Of?"

"A memory."

Levi's expression doesn't change. "Of what?" he asks.

Here goes. "Isabel and Farlan. When they died."

There's a bit of a pause. You're half expecting Levi to drop his cup. He doesn't. Instead, he
sets the cup down on the tray and crosses his arms. "Tell me everything," he demands. "Don't
miss a single detail."

And so you do. The headache that you've had all morning seems to subside. You've made no
effort to retain the memory but every detail is still etched clearly into your mind. You stumble
over Isabel's death, tongue thick in your throat and tears blurring your eyes. You're almost
grateful you didn't see Farlan die- that would've been much too traumatizing.

When you finish, you're visibly tearing up. You snatch Levi's handkerchief from the tray and
wipe your eyes, exhaling shakily. Levi is dangerously silent, his expression carefully
controlled.

"I get it now, at least," you murmur, looking up to him. His eyes are focused on the wall
behind you, avoiding your gaze. "Why you resent me." He doesn't say anything in reply, so
you continue. "I know you would've preferred one of them to live instead."
Levi angrily sips his tea. "Don't say shit like that."

"It's true though, isn't it?"

He meets your eyes, his glare hard, and he sets his tea cup down on the tray. "I thought all
three of you were dead," he says. "Two is better than three."

You frown. "Yeah, if you're speaking objectively. But you were obviously closer to Isabel and
Farlan than you were to me-"

"What do you want me to say?" Levi snaps, cutting you off. He crosses his arms. "You want
me to tell you I hate you?"

"Oh, I know you do," you return, eyes narrowed, "I'm just trying to figure out if this is why or
if there's other issues."

His glare doesn't waver. You hold his stare as best you can, trying not to back down. He
doesn't let up, and eventually you have to tear your eyes away. It'd almost be easier if he
yelled, if he shunned you and blamed you for the deaths of his friends. If the fact that you're
alive and they're not is the reason he hates you, then that would make your life easier,
because otherwise, it means that there's something in your past that he's not telling you. And
with Levi being the one you feel closest to (not that that's saying much), you'd prefer to have
any of said problems up in the air.

Moments of silence go by. The guilt that you've been suppressing resurfaces as the anger in
you dies down, and you sigh softly to yourself. "I killed the wrong one," you whisper, eyes
trained on your tea cup that's being balanced by one hand in your lap. "The wrong titan.
Isabel-"

"Don't regret it."

"How can I not?"

"Because if you do, you won't be able to make decisions for shit," Levi says dully. He tips his
head to the side, tucking his chin into the palm of his hand. "You think I don't wish I
would've stayed with you?"

Damn, your eyes are going to start watering again.

"Every fucking moment of every damn day," he murmurs. "Erwin's the one who told me what
I told you- that if you regret it, you ruin your decision making in the future. Instead, blame it
on the titans."

"Titans," you mutter.

There's a heavy silence where you digest what he's told you. Levi picks up his tea cup again
and takes a long sip, then pours himself some more. Your cup is still half full, sitting in your
lap. You bring it up to your lips, holding it the way Levi does, and drain the rest of it. You
welcome the sting of the heat in your throat.
You set your empty cup on the tray and turn to Levi. "I want to join the Survey Corps."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do," you argue. "You don't get to tell me what I want."

"You're such a pain in the ass," Levi grumbles. "You just want revenge."

You go quiet, because he's just hit the nail on the head. You simmer in your own fury for a
moment before you say, "not entirely." He raises an eyebrow at you, so you continue. "You-
you're my only connection to a life that I used to have. I want to be where you are."

"Don't be fucking stupid."

Your temper flares. "I'm not-"

"Yes, you are," he snaps. "I'm not worth that- I'm not worth your life. It's dangerous out here,
idiot, people die-"

"I don't care!"

"You should!" Levi's careful expression is gone; it's given way for a mixture of annoyance
and fury. "We're not close," he snarls, pointing a finger at you, "and we were never friends.
Isabel and Farlan liked you, I didn't. We had to work together for one job- one job."

"So there is something else then," you push. "What did I do? Why didn't we get along?"

"Nothing! They were just eager to trust and I wasn't a fucking idiot." Levi sets his jaw. "You
won them over, but not me. I don't care what happens to you."

"Liar," you snap back. "If you didn't care, you wouldn't be trying to stop me from joining the
scouts!"

Levi's about to retort when the door opens, and both of your heads snap up. Doctor Fizal is
standing in the doorway, and there's a strange man behind her. He's wearing a plain grey coat
and a hat over a mop of grey hair, and he's shifting nervously behind her. You don't recognize
him, but then again, that doesn't mean much to you.

"My apologies," Fizal says carefully. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No," Levi says before you can reply. "I was just leaving."

You're too angry with him to protest, so you instead choose to glare at the door as Levi
stands, abandoning the tea tray in favor of having a quicker exit.

Levi's barely made it two steps out of the door when Doctor Fizal says, "Miss Logan, I
believe this man may be your father."

The air seems to get sucked out of your body.

Levi turns around so fast that it may have been comical if you weren't feeling like you'd been
sucker punched. You try to study the man, looking for any sort of resemblance- narrow eyes,
sharp cheek bones, holding himself in a way that suggests he's trying not to come off as
intimidating- but your brain is still spinning and it's clouding your judgment. "Oh," is all you
can manage to say. "Really?"

"Well, there's no way to know for sure, but..." Doctor Fizal glances at Levi, and he steps out
of the way- back into your room. The man enters and removes his hat, clutching it in his
hands.

"They told me your name," he says. His voice is deep and sort of raspy, and for some reason
it immediately sets you on edge. "But that doesn't mean much to me considering you were
taken from me as soon as you were born."

To your surprise, Levi is the one to speak up. "Then how do you know she's yours?"

The man glances back at Levi in surprise, then turns back to you. "Well, I don't," he says
honestly. "But I've always been searching. I've found several young women that it could be,
but... none seem to work out. You- the doctor said you were from the underground, yes?"

"Underground kids don't have families," Levi says sharply.

You shoot him a weak glare. One second he says he doesn't care about you, and now he's
being protective? Make up your mind.

"They do if they were born above ground first," the man says, and he turns back to you. "Oh,
where are my manners? My name is Willem. Willem Castello."

He holds his hand out to you, and you tentatively shake it. He's got a tight grip.

"I live in a small village in the southern part of Wall Rose," Willem says. "Tormach village.
Maybe about fifty people. We're mostly farmers. If you're willing, we'd like you to come and
live with us."

"We?" you say.

He glances sideways at Doctor Fizal, and you realize that part of this is the doctor's idea.
"We... we mentioned getting you settled into a routine," she says. "Obviously, a routine in the
military would not be beneficial to your healing. You went out with the scouts yesterday, yes?
There are mentions of you having severe headaches while on the trip."

Your mouth opens, but no sound comes out. You look to Levi. He's really doing his best to
keep me out of the scouts, isn't he, you think bitterly.

"Mister Castello is willing to take you in, and even if it turns out that you two are not related
in the way he hopes," she continues, "then at least it gives you a way to integrate back into
society. Helping out on a farm."

"I know you have amnesia, so there's nothing you remember," Willem adds, "but my wife ran
away with you as soon as you were born. I've been trying to track her down since, and I have
many reasons to believe that she retreated to the underground."

That would explain your upbringing in the underground- if this man isn't lying, at least.
"Sorry, I'm just a bit... overwhelmed," you say carefully, curling your fingers into the sheets
of your hospital bed.

"Sorry," he apologizes. "I don't mean to spring this on you. And I'm not sure if this will help,
but most of the people in our village carry this symbol." He reaches into his shirt and pulls
out a pendant hanging from the end of a long cord.

For the second time in two minutes, you feel sucker punched.

It's a triangle inside a circle. It's the same charm that you've got in your jacket, which is
tucked into your nightstand.

"Let's give you time to think about it," Doctor Fizal says, placing a hand on Willem's
shoulder. "I know this might be a lot of information all at once. Please consider this, though.
It could be good for you."

Willem shoots you a weak smile, hidden behind his scruffy grey beard, and he follows the
doctor out of the room, stepping away from Levi. The doctor shoots you one last look that
says think about it and closes the door behind her, leaving you in the room with Levi.

"I have that symbol," you whisper. "In the-"

"Pocket of your jacket," Levi finishes. "Yeah. I know."

It feels like the gears in your brain are turning faster than you can keep up. "So is he- is that
my father then?" you say dumbly, reaching toward the nightstand. You pull open the drawer
and remove your jacket, being careful not to knock over the tray with the tea.

Levi moves back towards you and take his seat again. His eyes follow your hands as you go
through your jacket pockets, finding the secret opening in the lining and pulling out the
necklace.

It's identical to that man's. A triangle bounded by a circle, hanging from a cord.

You want to scream. You want to ask Levi what you should do. You want to leave the
hospital, run away, and never look back. Levi's staring at the pendant in your hands, swinging
back and forth.

"Fucking doctor did this on purpose."

You glance up at Levi and frown. "What're you talking about?"

"The timing. Seems too convenient, hm?" He crosses his arms. "She wanted to wait until
after you'd been on that scouting trip so you'd be rattled and take the offer. She's hoping you
got scared."
"I didn't get scared," you say with a roll of your eyes. You soften. "Just memories." You think
for a minute, wondering if you can summon any memories about family. "I don't know
anything about a family, though," you murmur, tipping your head down to stare at the
pendant in your hands. Such a small, insignificant little thing that's making your head hurt.

"You mentioned your family once," Levi murmurs.

Your head snaps up so fast that you can feel something crack.

"We were..." he trails off, then laces his fingers together. "I told you we did one job. It was a
big one. It went off without a hitch. We were celebrating. We had a fire. Whiskey. Started
talking about family."

Then you hear it again. The same thing from when Mike was with you and Hange, talking to
your horse. Warmth in your hands, laughter.

"You were on your own. You said there was no one in the picture, but you talked about your
mother in the past tense. We assumed that meant she was dead."

That feels like a gut punch. "You didn't think to tell me that earlier?"

Levi doesn't answer you. Instead, he says, "you never mentioned your father."

"Okay. Okay, so..." you exhale, clutching the tiny charm in your hand. "So it lines up. My
mother ran away with me to the underground, and she died? So I grew up on my own. Sort
of. Maybe?"

Levi's eyes squeeze shut, then open. "I originally assumed your mother was like mine," he
whispers.

It feels like someone is compressing your brain with two red-hot irons, like a sandwich.
"What was... what was your mother like?" you whisper.

"A..." he trails off, turning his head away from you and exhaling. It's the most emotion you've
ever seen from Levi. He stops, as if determining if it's worth saying. Levi locks eyes with
you, then shakes his head. Clearly the topic isn't easy for him, and he doesn't trust you
enough to tell you. "Doesn't matter," he mutters.

You're not sure how to respond to that, so you stay quiet, biting the inside of your cheek.

"But if not, then that means your mother ran away from a farm above ground and found
shelter underground," Levi continues, the emotion draining from his face. "People kill to get
citizenships for up here. She gave that up willingly to keep you away from him."

You finally see where he's going with this. If everything you've gathered so far is true, then
your mother gave up a lot to keep you away from him. "Why would she do that?" you
murmur, pressing a hand to your head. "Why..."

Your headache rages in your head. Questions are bouncing around your brain.
You bite your lip and tighten your hand around your pendant. "Only one way to find out,"
you say firmly.

Levi's eyes widen. "You're not actually considering this."

"What do you want me to do, Levi?" you say tiredly, the pendant slipping from your grip and
falling into your lap. Levi's driving you insane, and not in a good way. "You- you don't want
me in the Survey Corps, you don't want me to go with someone who might be my family.
You want me to just stay locked in this stupid hospital room for the rest of my life?"

He mutters something that sounds vaguely like "pain in the ass" before he snaps, "any options
that don't involve you running head first into danger?"

You glare. "I thought you didn't care."

"I don't."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Then let me go."

"Fine." Levi stands up again, grabbing the tea tray. "Go get yourself killed. I don't care."

"Fine," you retort bitterly as he heads to the door.

"Fine," he replies angrily. He throws the door open so hard that it nearly knocks the tray off
of his other hand, but he manages to keep it balanced. Levi swivels back to face you, his eyes
blazing. "Go get yourself killed and then see how much I care," he snaps.

The door slams shut.

"Fine," you whisper to yourself. You raise both of your middle fingers at the closed door.
"Fuck you, Levi."

You look down at the pendant in your lap and hold it up. It swings back and forth, almost like
it's trying to hypnotize you.

Maybe this is a bad idea.

You steel yourself. Levi challenged you to go get yourself killed? Fine. You'll have to spite
him.

You get up from your bed, sliding your jacket around your shoulders and tucking the
necklace back into your pocket. You're going to go find Doctor Fizal and that Willem
Castello person that may be your father, and you're going to go figure this out once and for
all. Without Levi's help.
Chapter End Notes

Basically Levi's protective but at the same time is trying not to be involved. Poor dude
and poor you.

Update, as promised, and UGH do I hate what comes next. I hate doing backstories but,
ya know, plot. Don't worry, this isn't going to last more than a few chapters and there's
still Levi interactions in every chapter.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling and my messy attempt at a story. Love you all.
Your support means the world. <3
 0 - 10
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The doctor arranges for you to leave later that day.

It feels sudden. Like it's happening too fast. But you're tired of sitting around and waiting for
things to come to you. Besides, it feels like everyone is trying to get rid of you, and you're
tired of feeling unwanted. You don't have a lot to pack: just some of the clothing that Doctor
Fizal provided you with, some spare eye patches, and your jacket.

"I can't believe you're really taking off," Hange says forlornly, hanging off of your shoulder.
You had gone to tell Erwin and Hange that you were leaving- they were the only ones you
really needed to say good bye to. Levi was nowhere to be found.

Hange had insisted on accompanying you until you left. Erwin had wished you the best of
luck and left it at that. "I thought you wanted to be a scout!" they protest.

"I do," you agree, "but everyone seems to be doing everything possible to make sure I don't
do that."

Hange chuckles. "You mean Levi? He's probably just stopping you because you were the
only one who could take him in sparring and he likes being number one in the Corps."

You straighten up immediately. "I could?"

"Well, maybe." They shrug. "You two went at it once on one of the few training days you got.
It was just supposed to be light sparring, but the two of you took it pretty seriously. You guys
were hitting each other pretty hard, but no one tried to step in- probably would've gotten
themselves hurt if they tried."

This is news to you. You can fight, apparently. "Who won?" you ask.

Hange grins. "Levi. But it was close."

You hum to yourself. Interesting. Maybe there's some way you can train on your own while
you're at this farm. "Thanks for everything, Hange," you say, turning to your friend. "I really
appreciate it."

"Of course! You can write to me, if you want." Hange's eyes shine brightly from behind their
glasses. "I've always wanted a pen pal."

You laugh. "Yeah, of course."

Hange walks with you out of the hospital and around to the side entrance. Willem is there,
sitting on the back of a horse and talking to Erwin, who is smiling like he's enjoying their
conversation. Doctor Fizal is standing with Tanner, patiently waiting with the reins of another
horse. You swallow a lump in your throat and walk towards them, Hange by your side.

Erwin is the first one to greet you. "Safe travels, Logan," he says politely. "I look forward to
seeing you return to the scouts in a few years."

"We're already planning on that?" you ask in surprise. "I'm not complaining, but..."

Doctor Fizal sighs. "Well, if you've given this a shot and had sufficient time to heal, then I
don't see why not."

Your mood instantly brightens. "Awesome. Yes, please," you say excitedly, turning back to
Hange. "I'll be seeing you soon, then."

"Hopefully," they agree. Hange pulls you in for a hug, which surprises you, but you return it
instantly. "Write to me!" Hange says as they pull back. "I'll write back to you too!"

You smile, then look up to Willem. He's smiling, but his smile is tight, like he's impatient.
"I'm good to go," you say, glancing one last time at Tanner and Doctor Fizal before taking the
reins to the horse. You swing yourself up onto the giant beast, settling yourself in so that you
don't fall. "Uh, say bye to Levi for me, I guess," you say awkwardly.

"No need," Erwin says, turning behind him. "He's been waiting."

"Oh, fuck you, Erwin," comes Levi's voice from behind the side of the building. You
straighten up in surprise, looking for the source, and Levi comes out from the side of the
building, jacket slung around his shoulders and scowling. He stomps over to you, looking
even smaller than usual from where you are on your horse. He thrusts his hand out at you,
and for a bizarre moment you think he's trying to stab you.

You shrink back slightly, then realize he's holding out a black box. "Did I forget something?"
you ask with a frown, taking the box from him.

"Yeah," Levi says shortly. "You did."

You tear your eyes from him to the box and open it, not sure what to expect. Your jaw slips
open when you see what it is: a knife. And damn, it's a nice knife. It's small- the blade is
maybe the length of your hand- and the handle is wrapped tightly in leather.

You glance back at Levi. "Thanks," you choke out.

He nods, then turns away.

You close the case and tuck it into the small bag on your back. Willem is watching you, but
from the angle, he shouldn't have seen what was in the box. Levi's message is loud and clear:
stay safe. That, you can do. It's just a farm with a man who claims he might be your father.
How bad can it be?

How bad can it be? you repeat to yourself as the horses start up. You shoot a glance behind
you. Hange is waving and Erwin is standing next to them, stoic. Levi is nowhere to be seen.
"Yeah," you whisper to yourself, turning around. "How bad can this be?"

The trip is the better part of an hour, and once you're five minutes away, Willem starts telling
you more about the village.

"There's about fifty of us," he says, eyes trained forward on the hills. "A very tight knit
community, if you will. Where you'll be staying, there will be six of us. Myself and my wife,
Ethel, and our sons, Malcolm and Lars. They're only eleven and thirteen. And the last is my
mother, Rann Castello. We work on a farm with a neighboring family. We'll get you to help
out with various tasks until you find something you like."

You nod slowly. "How about letters?" you ask. "Can I write?"

"Of course," Willem agrees with a smile. "Normally myself or the man in charge of the other
farm- his name is Ted, you'll like him- go into the city every two weeks. We can make sure
that the Survey Corps head office is a stop on our list."

"Thank you so much," you say, your shoulders visibly dropping in relief.

"I will warn you," he says, and your shoulder tense up immediately, "we have tried this
before with other young women that we believed to be my missing daughter. So the boys
may not be particularly attached to you at first. As soon as we can confirm that you are who
we're looking for, I'm sure they'll be excited."

"Oh," you reply. "What happened to the other women?"

"Once we realized they weren't who we were looking for, they returned to the city," he says
smoothly.

You're not sure why, but it feels like a lie. It's innocent enough, but something's not right.
"And what makes you so sure it's me?" you ask carefully.

Willem chuckles, his eyes blank. "Call it a hunch, but you fit better than anyone else so far.
And you do share some resemblance with my ex-wife." He reaches into his shirt and pulls out
his necklace again. The pendant glints in the sunlight. "If this ever becomes familiar to you,
please let me know," he urges. "This would be a strong indicator."

Your jacket pocket suddenly feels very heavy. You force a smile. "I'll let you know," you say
politely.

He smiles and turns back to the front, eyes focused once again on the hills. You try to force
yourself to relax: you haven't played all your cards, you still have an ace up your sleeve.
Once you're sure that he and his family aren't trained psychopaths and the family is
something you want to be a part of, maybe you'll mention it. Maybe.

When you get there, it looks like the family is expecting you. The two boys- you've already
forgotten their names- are boisterous and annoying as hell, and you'll probably end up
kicking one of them at one point. Ethel, Willem's wife, seems nice enough, but there's a
tightness to her expression that sets you on edge. The old lady, Rann- who would be your
grandmother, you suppose- barely acknowledges you when you come in the door. All of them
wear matching necklaces, that triangle within a circle that feels like it's going to haunt your
nightmares.

Willem shows you to a room. It's decently sized, slightly bigger than the hospital room, but
the only window is a skylight that's way too high up for you to reach. Not to mention the
floor is ridiculously creaky. The boys' room is right next to yours and their parents are across
the hall. Sneaking out is going to be difficult. Breaking out might be fine, but Willem owns a
rifle; you saw it in his study when you came in. Part of you is concerned that your first
thought upon coming here is getting away, but it's best to be prepared, right?

The drawers are packed with plain clothing: shirts, skirts, dresses. Most of it looks like it
might fit- you may have to make some alterations on your own. Not like you own much to
work with right now anyways; maybe someone can teach you how to sew or something.

"Well," you whisper, glancing up and out of the skylight. The stars are coming out. "It could
be worse."

It's hard to sleep, probably because you're so on edge. It's been dark for hours, and you're sure
everyone's long since gone to bed. You're possessed with a weird urge to go out and look at
the stars; just seeing them through the skylight isn't enough. You want to go out to the roof.

Just when you're considering moving a shelf under the skylight so you can climb up to it, you
hear footsteps. You frown. Didn't everyone go to bed? Then, you hear whispers. Your
curiosity gets the better of you and you swing your legs out of bed, carefully stepping around
the edge of the room, where the floor is easiest to walk on without creaking. Take that, you
stupid floor, you think triumphantly when you make it to the door with minimal noise.

You press your ear to the door and listen. The first voice you can make out is Willem. "...I'm
sure, darling, this time I'm sure," he's saying.

There's a sigh, and the voice is feminine- you're guessing his wife, Ethel, not the
grandmother. "You have to be," she insists softly. She whispers something that you can't
make out, but you catch the end of her sentence when she says, "I'm not doing this again."

"Darling, she has amnesia," Willem whispers urgently, and your shoulders immediately rise.
"If that isn't a clear sign then I don't know what is."

"You have to be sure," Ethel says firmly, not backing down. "I- I refuse to assist in anything
until you're sure."

Assist in anything? Amnesia? "She looks like her mother," he says insistently. "I'm- I'm sure."

"We will wait," she pleads, "please. Until we are sure and she comes to us of her own free
will."

There's a pause, then a sigh. "Fine," Willem says, but he sounds bitter. "Fine."
The footsteps start up again, and you hold your breath as they go by your room. A door
opens, then shuts. You wait another minute, listening for anything else, then carefully work
your way back to your bed, as silent as you can be.

You don't sleep at all that night.

Life on the farm isn't all that bad. Some people come and go- other townsfolk- and they all
seem friendly enough. You help out with odd tasks: making meals with Ethel in the kitchen,
chopping firewood, clearing out space by lifting boxes. You even manage to start getting
along with the kids... Marcus and Liam? Something like that.

It's not bad in any way, shape, or form, but it's boring. All you can think of is the scouts
swinging from tree to tree, fighting titans. You think of training: horseback riding, sparring,
formations. That all sounds much more enticing that learning how to knit from Rann. But, in
knitting's defense, the needles can probably be used to stab someone if you try hard enough.

You mention that aloud by accident in front of Rann, but she just chuckles. "You wouldn't be
the first to try," she says, and you grin.

There's very minimal restrictions, and the ones that are in place are strange. For example,
there's a giant tree with a strange sort of fruit on it in the back of the field. It was the first
thing Willem pointed out to you. "That tree was a gift," he says. "We don't touch it."

"We don't?" you say. Seems like a waste of a gift if you can't use it.

Willem shoots you a wary look. "No. Don't touch it."

You find yourself staring at it anyways. It's huge, with long winded branches and some sort
of small red fruit blossoming from the ends of the branches. You have a weird urge to climb
it, but there's a giant fence that's been gated around it. The fence is barbed and looks to be
almost ten feet high- how bizarre. But besides that, the Castellos are pretty easy going about
where you can go or what you do, so you don't question it.

Two weeks fly by so quickly that when Willem mentions he's going into the city, you barely
have time to scrape a letter to Hange together. You try to include as much detail as you can,
with promises of writing more soon, and you tuck it into an envelope that Willem gave you.
Hange's not the only one you want to write to, however, and you frown as your quill hovers
over your second blank sheet.

Levi. Would he even write back?

Strangely enough, you find that you miss him. You never saw him all that often back in the
city, but somehow knowing that he was at least around was comforting. Comforting. You
snort. Levi, comforting? Yeah, right.

You smirk to yourself and jot down a short note for Levi.
 Willem drops off the letters, and two weeks later, when he makes his trip to the city again,
he's carrying responses. And he's got two of them, which means that either Levi responded to
you or someone else is sending you something. You read Hange's first: full of excitement,
what they're doing in the scouts, a little bit on how they're going to watch some of the
trainees.

When you open the other letter you grin. It's literally two words, but that can't stop you from
grinning like an idiot.

These letters are going to be your saving grace; you already know it.

Levi frowns when Erwin hands him a letter. Tells him he's got no one to write to him- until he
opens it and sees your name signed at the bottom. The letter is one sentence, clipped and to
the point, and it makes him smirk (although he's definitely going to deny it later).

Levi:

I'm writing to you whether you like it or not and I'm expecting you to write me back, whether
you like it or not.

"What a pain," he mumbles to himself, already moving to his desk to write his response. Levi
smirks, reading that one sentence over again. "Stupid brat."

And so, he writes back.

Fine.

Levi

Chapter End Notes

UGH I hate these chapters with every fiber of being. Backstories are going to be my
undoing. Huzzah for Reader's curiosity and the wonderful fuel we all know as spite.
Don't worry, I think next chapter's going to be the only chapter without Levi; he'll be
back in chapter 12. I think.

You guys are insane- never expected such a nice reception this soon, especially during
what I've coined the most tedious part of this story. You're all fantastic. All my love. <3
 0 - 11
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Your 'grandmother' Rann quickly becomes your favorite person on the farm to hang out with.
She's mostly quiet and a bit odd, like something's addled her brain, but occasionally she tells
you a story from her youth, which makes her sound like quite the wild animal. Sometimes
you garden with her, and sometimes it's knitting. Eventually, she teaches you how to sew
after you tear your skirt when moving some of the boxes in Willem's farm house.

She's much better company than Ethel, who keeps watching you warily like she expects you
to flee at any given moment. Besides that conversation you overheard on the first night,
nothing seems amiss. It feels like you're settling in quite well.

You write to Levi again.

Levi,

I finally learned how to make tea.

His response comes back two weeks later.

You're probably shit at it.

Levi

Hange is much more exciting to write to. They're constantly giving you updates on what's
happening in the Survey Corps, what they discovered in the latest expedition. They tell you
it's too late now to join the 103rd squad but you can probably sign up for the 104th squad for
training, when you decide to come back. And you want to come back, you do; but it feels like
there's something here you need to find out. Besides, even if you did come back, you're not
sure if the doctor- or Levi, for that matter- would even let you join.

So instead, you spend your time lifting heavy things and trying to get stronger. Learning how
to cook, trying to make a decent cup of tea. Ethel has dozens of books on tea and bags of tea
leaves that she hangs out to dry. You end up trying all kinds of different teas, some which you
like and others that you don't.

Levi,

I tried nettle tea. Not a fan.

Levi's response comes back two weeks later when Willem returns from the city, and it makes
you want to steal a horse and ride down there yourself to smack him.

You've got no taste.

Levi

It's been about three months. Three months of relative normalcy until you're knitting again
with Rann, and she's giving you a story about Willem when she stops herself. "Shouldn't talk
about it," she murmurs, knitting needles clacking furiously. "He was a good kid."

You're confused, but you let it drop. "Okay," you reply. Then, you ask, "is he a good father?"

Rann hums in contentment, and you think she hasn't heard you until she says, "good to
Malcolm and Lars, yes. Good to Ethel, yes."

The answer feels dodgy, so you finally ask something that's been bothering you. "What about
the other girls who lived here?" you ask tentatively. Rann's knitting needles stop moving.
"Everyone seems to dodge around the topic. How many other girls have you had here? Where
do they go once they realize they're not his missing kid?"

She remains frozen, eyes trained on her knitting project. You wait patiently.

"You're a good girl," she whispers. "I hope for your own sake that you're not who he thinks
you are."

Chills erupt up your spine. She hopes you're not Willem's daughter- not her granddaughter?
Why? Because the necklace feels like it's growing heavier and heavier in your jacket pocket
every day. You had actually been close to owning up to it and telling Willem that you're
probably his missing daughter, but now the chance of that happening slips back to zero.
"What do you mean?" you ask, voice quiet. "Why should I not want to be his daughter?"

Rann doesn't answer. She just hums and keeps knitting.

"Rann," you hiss through your teeth, leaning towards her. "Why? What's going on?"

No reply. Her eyes flicker up to the window only briefly, then drop back to her knitting. You
follow her eyes and your blood runs cold. Willem is standing outside the window, looking
inside. He was out chopping firewood- you can see the axe in his hand. He smiles at you, and
suddenly it doesn't look kind: it looks psychopathic.

You turn back to your knitting so he can't see the horror on your face.

What the hell is going on here?

You start planning an escape. The best ways to get out for a quick exit.

The skylight's too high to reach without assistance, and dragging your dresser into the center
of the room would be excessively noisy. Not to mention the family hearing you while you're
up on the roof. It feels like someone is always watching you; you never get much privacy or
time on your own.

Could you steal a horse from the stables? Take off while no one's looking?
It's only after pondering several different options that you realize you've got no idea where
you would be going. You know what way Willem goes to head towards the main city, but
besides that, you'd be lost. You wouldn't know how to get back to the city- to get back to Levi
and Hange.

Looks like getting out might not be so easy.

Levi;

I want to join the scouts when I come back, whether you like it or not.

His reply finally has more than five words.

Go through the training so you don't get yourself killed in three seconds.

You smile stupidly to yourself in your bed, reading the words over and over again. Hange had
mentioned training too- maybe it wouldn't be so bad. What had they said... the 104th squad?
Yeah, maybe you could do that.

Something to look forward to. You find yourself absently sketching the wings from the
Survey Corps uniform on your next letter to Hange. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

It feels like one of your only ways out of here might be from someone coming to get you or
clearing you for training.

You risk writing to Doctor Fizal.

How much longer do I have to be here?

Her letter back to you is annoyingly full of data sheets, estimated recovery periods, and so
much garbage that she could've just summed up in one sentence saying not any time soon.
You burn her letter in the fireplace that evening, watching the corners of the page go dark and
crumble into ashes.

Ethel lets you borrow one of her books on tea. It's a thick one, but that's just because it's
stuffed with information. Every type of tea has at least two pages written on it: how to
prepare it, the best way to drink it, and different properties of it that you're guessing people
have tested. People have somehow discovered that black tea helps people who smoke, and
you wonder how they found that out. Grabbed a bunch of smokers and made some of them
drink black tea, then see who dies first?

Green tea is a common one you have at the farm, and you recognize it as the first type of tea
that Levi gave you. There's lengthy sections about how to prepare green tea leaves, and the
health benefits, especially for the memories of the elderly; those who drank a lot of green tea
had an easier time retaining information.

You start reading on, then pause and go back to that section. Helps with memory?

"Wait a second," you murmur to yourself. Levi had also given you- oh, what was it, ginseng?
You flip pages until you find it, and your eyes scan through the pages until you find health
benefits. "Energy boost," you mutter to yourself, "improved focus, and..." you sigh.
"Improved memory."

There's one more type of tea he gave you: rosemary. You head to that page next, and once
again scan for benefits. And once again, improvement of focus, concentration, and memory.

Levi had been giving you teas that have been shown to help with memory.

Heat pushes behind your eyes. So many different types of tea, so many ways of preparing it,
and Levi was making tea that was rumored to show an improvement in mental strength or
memory. You're shocked at first, but the more you think about it, the more sense it makes.

Your hand is shaky when you write your letter back to Levi.

I just read a book on types of tea.

You never gave up on me, did you?

His reply comes like clockwork, two weeks later, and it makes you laugh.

You're a pain in the ass.

Hange's next letter poses a question in the end that makes you think.

Is the time there worth it? Are you getting answers?

It makes you think. Time keeps passing, and although the routine is nice and you can feel
yourself gaining back your strength, you're no closer to answers than you were before.
There's definitely something off, something that everyone knows but won't tell you, and
you're sure that this is your family. You need answers. Why is your father so desperate for
you to be proven his daughter, and what was Rann talking about? What was that hushed
conversation you overheard on the first night?

You write back.

Yes and no. Hopefully something comes up soon.

You've lost count of how long you've been here, but it all feels too long, too much. Hange
mentioned training doesn't start for a while, so you've got some time, but you've got to leave
before that. It sounds easy enough, but there's always a strange look in Willem's eyes that
stops you from asking any time you think about approaching the subject.

It's only after a motivational letter from Hange that you manage to bring the topic up at the
dinner table.

"I'd like to join the training corps," you say quietly.

Ethel freezes, the food on her fork tipping back onto the plate. Rann doesn't even react,
instead humming and rocking back and forth in her chair. The boys don't seem to care- you
completely forget their names, but it feels rude to ask at this point. Willem clears his throat.
"When would that be?"

"In a few months," you reply carefully. "I appreciate your hospitality, but I think I'd like to
get back into action."

"How's your eye?" Ethel asks politely, regaining her composure.

You smile and lift a hand to pull your eyepatch down, blinking it open. "A little bit better
with every week," you say honestly. "I'm starting to see color again."

"You can't," Willem says stiffly. "We need to know if you're my daughter."

"Oh, honey," his wife says, putting a hand on his arm, "if nothing's sparked any memories at
this point, then maybe it's best to just let her-"

"No!" he snaps, and she flinches away. You nearly flinch in your seat. He sighs, collecting
himself. "No- no, I know you are. You- You look just like her, your mother, and the amnesia-
there's no way you're not. I have waited," Willem continues, turning on his wife, "because
you insisted we wait for proof, but I truly believe it this time."

"You- You said that about the last few girls," Ethel says timidly.

"What is it about my amnesia that makes you so sure?" you ask, frowning.

"It's practically a family tradition, dear," Rann chuckles from the far end of the table, and you
turn to look at her. Willem glares hard at her, like she's saying something he doesn't like, and
she amends, "my husband lost his memory as well."

You shift uncomfortably, fingers bunching into the sleeve of your jacket. "It's not quite the
same as old age."

"He lost it in his forties," Rann hums, and your father's glare is murderous. "All of it."

Willem shoots her a dark look.

"And again a few years ago, before he passed," she muses.

"Mother," he growls.
 You're not sure what it is, but you know. You know that this is your family; this is your father,
this angry man at the head of the table. But something's not right and it's making you hold
your tongue. So many months of holding your tongue because you have a bad feeling. How
desperate are you for answers?

"I didn't think amnesia got passed down in family lines," you say carefully.

There's a long silence.

Willem finally interrupts. "Why don't you make tea, Ethel?" he says.

She nods quickly, way too quickly- desperate to get out of the conversation. "Of course," she
says with forced enthusiasm. "Green or nettle?"

"Make it green, darling, she doesn't like nettle," Willem replies, picking at his food.

You pause. "How do you know I don't like nettle?"

If the table hadn't been tense before, it certainly was now. Ethel turns, and her face is pale.
Willem is frozen, his face a careful mask. "You mentioned it in passing," he says.

That's a lie. You've never once complained about the tea; you're just happy to have it. You
drink it the way Levi does, by clutching the rim of the cup, in a vain attempt to pretend he's
around. You'd tried every kind that Ethel made and never once complained- even when there
were definitely some questionable ones. You wouldn't dare complain. The only time you
mentioned that you didn't like nettle tea was... in a letter to Levi.

Your blood runs cold. They're reading your mail.

In an instant, you force a smile and laugh. "I must have," you agree, your heart beating much
too quickly in your chest. "Must've slipped my mind. Yes, green tea would be great, thank
you for your consideration."

Your farce seems to convince Ethel, who regains some color in her cheeks as she turns
around to make tea. Willem nods once at you, but you're not sure if he's fooled. The boys
don't even notice, instead choosing to bicker with each other. Rann hums absently to herself,
her eyes trained on the ceiling.

That's it. You need to get out of here.

Chapter End Notes

Hello lovelies! Thank you so much for all your support so far, you're all amazing and
I'm tempted to print out some of your comments and frame them on my wall.
I'm looking forward to fight scenes solely because I'm tempted to recreate them, film
them, and upload them somewhere online so that if you wanted clarity, you could see the
clips. I understand fight scenes are sometimes the hardest scenes to visualize, and as
someone currently enrolled in martial arts, I feel like this is my time to shine.

Anywho. Thank you endlessly- you're all so kind. See you next week. <3
 0 - 12
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Finding a way or time to leave proves more difficult than you anticipated.

There's a stable that the Castello family shares with the neighbors, with only four horses
inside: two that belong to them, and two that belong to said neighbors. The stable is always
locked, which wouldn't be a problem for you if you thought you could get in and out quietly.
Those horses aren't exactly quiet, and that barn door creaks so loudly that you can hear it
from your room; it doesn't help that the stable is ridiculously close to the house.

When you're scouting it out, you notice that it's in direct view of Willem's bedroom window.
It would be hard to sneak in undetected and leave quietly.

It's going to be even harder to get out of the house. The floors are so creaky that you wince
with every step, and the only window in your room is the skylight. You're not even sure if the
skylight can open, and even if it could, you're not sure you could get up there. Maybe if you
dragged a table into the middle of the room, but that would be noisy.

Someone's always watching you during the day: whether you're chopping firewood,
gardening, or keeping the kids occupied. You have the knife Levi gave you strapped to your
thigh, under your skirts (or in your boot when you're wearing pants), and when you chop
firewood, you've got an axe; you've considered fighting your way out if you have to but
Willem seems to be carrying his gun on hand much more often now. You're not sure where he
stores it or what he does with it, but from the occasionally psychopathic outbursts you've seen
from him, you have no doubt he'll use it.

You're getting desperately close to saying fuck it and just taking off during the day, risking
Willem's shooting and the chase that would definitely follow, when you remember Levi.

Maybe you can ask for help. But they're reading your mail...

It takes you a while, but you draft out a letter to Levi. No matter how much he seems to be
bothered by you and your presence, he's one of the only people you trust, even if he doesn't
trust you. Hange's up there too, and although they're plenty smart and could probably figure
out your hidden message, you need someone who can help you fight your way out of this if
necessary- and that person's Levi.

You put your plan into action when your neighbor, Ted, comes over for lunch on the day he's
set to depart for the city.

You bring up the topic as casually as you can. Ethel has just finished talking about supplying
themselves with more parchment from the city, so you say, "speaking of paper, Ted, could
you drop off a letter for me?"
"Sure thing," he says. "Same place as usual?"

"Yep," you say, pulling it out of your jacket pocket and handing it to him. He smiles merrily
and tucks it into his pack. "Thanks."

"I thought you sent letters every other trip," Ethel says politely, pouring more tea. "Isn't this
the week that your friends are supposed to write back?"

You nod and bring a hand to the back of your head, rubbing it sheepishly. "Yeah, but I
realized I haven't been writing to a few people and I should probably extend my regards," you
lie, grinning. "I was going to wait but I feel awful for making them wait so long already. It's
been what, eight, nine months? I've lost track of the days."

The lie works. No one questions you. Willem eyes the letter suspiciously, and in your head
you dare him to open it.

"You want anything while I'm out?" Ted asks, like he does every time.

Once again, you smile politely and say, "no, I'm alright, thank you."

He chuckles. "Don't want a new jacket? That one looks like it's seen better days."

You cross your arms, curling yourself into the black jacket that Levi had given you. "Just a
little worn down, no issues with it," you said fondly. You've worn it nearly every day since
you've gotten here, regardless of the weather. "It's, uh, one of the only things I have from my
past life," you murmur. "I'm kind of attached."

The timeline hits you for a minute. How long has it been since you woke up? It's been well
over a year- over six months of recovery and now at least eight or nine months here on the
farm. You blink, reeling from the sudden processing of information.

Willem eyes you carefully, thinking, then nods to Ted. "Alright, miss, but if you get cold,
don't say I didn't warn ya," Ted jokes.

He leaves later, but there's a time when he vanishes into Willem's study with him- probably to
look at your letter. You puzzle it for a moment: while they're distracted, deciphering your
note, could you leave? You could take off and run, but you wouldn't get far without a horse.
You could get a horse, but the noise would summon them immediately.

You'll have to wait on Levi.

You spend the next few hours outside, gardening with Rann and watching the sun set. You're
fidgety, anticipating your 'escape', but there's still so many questions up in the air. Ted hasn't
returned yet, so you have no idea if your letter has been delivered or not. But the sun is
dipping below the fence, turning the sky to a gorgeous orange color, and you know it can't be
long before he comes back... right?

You glance at the far corner of the yard. The sunset on that weird tree in the back makes the
branches look much thinner than they are; the ground below the branches is filled with
dropped fruits. You wonder why the Castellos never touch them.
Ethel call out to you from inside, and you break out of your thoughts to listen to her. "We've
got some old coats, if you'd like them," she says. "I think some might be your size."

"Oh, I've already taken enough from you," you protest. You're currently wearing a white
collared shirt with a brown vest over top, layered white skirts, and your black jacket. The
only thing that actually belongs to you is the jacket. All of the other clothing you've worn has
belonged to them. "I couldn't."

"We insist," Ethel says with a small smile. "I know how attached you are to that jacket but it
couldn't hurt to have a back up, or something warmer."

She's got a point. "Alright," you agree. "Living room?"

She nods, and you smile to her and then to Rann, thanking her for allowing you to garden
with her. She doesn't acknowledge you, humming to herself as she sorts through various bags
of seeds. You head up to your room, nodding to Willem as you pass him. You fold your jacket
and tuck it into one of the drawers, hiding it beneath some of your shirts, then pass Willem
again as you head back downstairs. "What can I try?" you ask, finding Ethel with a stack of
jackets on the couch.

"All of them, if you'd like," she says, holding up a thick brown coat.

You try it on, but the material is scratchy and doesn't have nearly enough pockets. "Not bad,"
you say, because you don't want her to think you're taking her kindness for granted.
"Anything with pockets?"

Ethel smiles. "You like your pockets, don't you?"

"I do," you agree with a smile. Her eyes flicker to something over your shoulder, then back to
you so fast that you feel like you imagined it. "Can I try that black one, if that's okay?" you
ask, pointing at another one in the stack.

She hands it to you, and it's comfy, but it's got a hood. You can already picture scenarios
where someone grabs you by the hood and pulls you down- dangerous. Ethel hands you coat
after coat, and you try every single one of them on. Some of them are pretty nice, but it's kind
of hard to pick a new one when you're so attached to your old one.

"This one suits you," she says when you try on a long grey button-up coat.

You hum in thanks. "I do like this one," you agree, spinning in a circle.

"Yes, it's..." Ethel's eyes lock on the staircase behind you and she trails off. Frowning, you
turn.

Willem is standing in the doorway, eyes wide with glee. He's grinning in a way that sends
chills down your spine, and your intuition is screaming at you to run- he looks like a predator
that just cornered his prey. "I knew it," he breathes, deranged eyes moving from Ethel to you.
"I knew it, you... you are. You are my daughter."

He holds up his hand, and your heart threatens to leap out of your throat.
He's holding the necklace. The one hidden in your jacket pocket that directly linked you to
this family. He'd searched your room- probably torn it apart.

"You lied," Willem hisses, stepping into the room. You take a step back, your hand drifting to
where your knife is. "You said you'd tell me if you recognized this, this symbol," he urges,
yanking his own necklace out to compare the two. The charms are identical. "You lied, you
lied- you knew all along. Why? Why, my daughter, my little Castello, why would you lie?"

"Stay away from me," you warn, sliding your skirt up just to grab your knife. Ethel looks
paralyzed in fear, but you keep her in the corner of your eye. "Stay back."

"You stayed but never said a word," he hums, moving closer to you. You take another step
back, backing into the couch. "Why? Why would you stay if you had no intention of telling
us? Of letting me suffer, thinking my daughter was dead to the world?"

Because you're a psychopath, you want to yell. You swallow hard. "Because there's
something wrong here," you say, eyeing Ethel. She hasn't moved. "And I want to know
what's going on."

"You wanted proof first, Ethel, here's your proof," Willem gloats, swinging the pendant
around his finger. "We're doing this. Tonight."

"Doing what?" you demand, scanning the room for an exit point.

He lunges without warning. You sidestep instinctively, the knife shaking in your hand, and
his hand snatches your wrist. You hesitate to stab him- even if he's a psychopath, he's your
father- and Willem shoves your wrist into the wall. The impact makes you cry out, and the
knife falls from your hand.

Something in your brain clicks, and you grab his arm with your free hand. You twist with
strength you didn't know you had, breaking your wrist free and locking his arm behind his
back. You lean your newly freed arm down and snatch your knife up from the ground.

You hold his arm with one hand and bring your other hand to his throat, pressing the knife
blade into his skin. "What the hell is going on?" you ask icily, still mildly overwhelmed
because what the hell did you just do, since when could you fight?

No one moves. Ethel looks between the two of you in disbelief. "What," you snap, digging
the blade into Willem's neck, "is going on?"

Your hesitation is gone. It's clear this man- regardless of his relationship to you- has nothing
but ill intentions for you.

"We're cursed," Willem whispers, leaning away from your knife. "Our ancestors brought a
curse down upon us, a curse, yes, a curse..." He's babbling like he's possessed. "And you're
the key to freeing us. Yes, you are. You're the key."

"I'm the key," you repeat.

He nods, eyeing the knife warily. "The first woman born into this family since the curse.
You're the key to fixing it all, you're our savior."

Savior. This is sounding weirder and weirder the more you hear him talk. "What-" you start.

There's a crack, and a blinding pain in the side of your head. You stumble, slipping to the
ground, your one good eye desperately searching for an answer to what the fuck just
happened. You finally manage to focus on your attacker: Ethel, holding a broken plate in her
hand. She hit you.

You try to form words, but your brain feels slow. So very slow...

You slump to the ground, succumbing to the pain and the darkness.

Levi reads your letter once, then twice.

It feels like it wasn't you who wrote it. Not only is it literally the length of every other letter
you've sent him combined, but your sentence structuring is weird. He's never seen you write
like this- it feels like there's something he's supposed to be seeing that isn't quite there.

He reads it for a third time, eyes narrowed.

Levi;

Guess it'll be a while before I see you. Everyone has been so kind to me. The tea here is great
and maybe I'll send you back some next time. Missing Isabel and Farlan right now. Ever
think about saying hi to them for me? Oh, I wouldn't blame you if you don't. Understandably
if you remember the first letter.

Tanner's one of the ones I miss too, say hi to him for me. Have I ever mentioned my room has
a skylight? Every time I look up, I remember you all. Let everyone know I say hi. Please and
thank you.

It's so bizarre. Isabel and Farlan are dead- and unless you've gone insane then that shouldn't
be right. And you've never asked for Tanner in a single one of your other letters. Wasn't he
that stupid assistant that wandered around with Doctor Fizal?

"She's being nice," Levi says to himself with a scowl. You're never nice. "Please and thank
you?" he mutters.

There's something wrong. There's got to be something wrong. One line just seems so out of
place: understandably if you remember the first letter. Levi reaches into his desk drawer and
pulls out a stack of letters- the ones you've sent him in the past eight months. Your first one
had been curt and to the point: nothing hidden in that message.

Then there's the timing. Normally your letters came every four weeks: this one came in two.
That man- Willem, your possible father, whatever- brought letters in when he came in, and on
his next visit two weeks later, would pick up the letters from himself and Hange from the
main office.

"Pain in the ass," Levi growls, standing up from his bed.

He wanders down the hallway until he's at Hange's room. He knocks twice and hears "just a
minute!" and then a resounding crash. He sighs impatiently. There's a scramble of footsteps,
then the door is thrown open. Hange's hair is sticking up in every direction and there's a
smear of something dark across their cheek- Levi doesn't want to know what it is. "Levi!"
they say in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

He holds up the paper. "Letter."

"For me?" Hange says excitedly, reaching out.

Levi snaps his hand back, keeping it out of reach of their dirty fingers. "No, you slob," he
says, wrinkling his nose. "For me. From her. But there's something wrong with it."

"I thought she only sent letters once a month," Hange says, frowning. "Let me see."

"Clean your hands first."

"Fine, fine." Hange ducks back into their room, then emerges with a cloth, wiping any signs
of dirt or grease off their hands. "Gimme." Grudgingly, Levi hands it over, and Hange takes
the letter in one hand and grabs their glasses with the other. Frowning, they scan the letter,
and when they get to the end, start reading it again.

Levi scowls impatiently and crosses his arms. "Something's off."

"Well, it's not that strange," Hange muses, pushing their glasses up higher on their nose.
"Besides mentioning, well..." they glance up at Levi, then trail off. "It feels weird, too. She
doesn't normally talk like this. All of her letters are much better put together than this. Unless
this is something just for you?"

"Every one of her letters to me has been one sentence," Levi says with a roll of his eyes.

"Ah. And it feel strangely polite. Please and thank you?" He waits for Hange to continue.
"She's referring to the first letter? What was her first letter to you?"

"I'm writing to you whether you like it or not and I'm expecting you to write back."

Hange snorts in laughter. "Yeah, sounds like her." They scan the letter again, then dip into
their room. Levi follows, watching where he steps; there's pieces of equipment scattered
across the floor. Hange brings the letter to the desk and holds it up to the light of their lantern.
"Hm. What if... Oh!"

"What?" Levi says immediately, moving closer.

"Well, I was thinking that these sentences seemed really choppy. Like, some of them could've
been combined easily. But what if she did that on purpose?" Hange grins excitedly and grabs
 a report sheet, flipping it over so that they can write on the back. "So what if 'first letter'
actually refers to the first letter of each sentence?"

"Could be it," he agrees as Hange starts scribbling letters down on their paper.

When they're done, it looks like a mess: LGETMEOUTHELP.

"Take out my name," Levi says. "Space it."

Hange rewrites it. GET ME OUT HELP.

Levi's blood runs cold. He snatches the letter from Hange's desk and turns around, dashing
out the door. "Levi!" Hange shouts, scrambling to run after him. "Are you going after her?
Wait- wait for me, I'll come too!"

Of course he is. "Pain in the ass, Logan," Levi mutters under his breath as he takes off for the
stables, Hange running after him. "Pain in the ass."

Chapter End Notes

Because what's better than Levi riding in as your knight in shining armor?? Absolutely
nothing.

Two more chapters and then I'll finally be in season one. I plan to finish this series all
the way through to the end of Attack On Titan, and I promise you this will not be
abandoned midway; my credentials lie in three 200k - 450k word fics on my ff-dot-net
account that I got all the way through on. It'll happen, I promise.

Thanks so much for reading. I love you all. <3

 0 - 13
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You wake up slowly, your headache ringing loudly in your ears. You groan, trying to
remember what happened. You try to bring your hands to your head, but you can't;
something's biting into your wrists.

You blink your good eye open, then realize you can open your other eye. Your eye patch is
gone. You shut your good eye and blink open your bad one: nope, still a messy sludge of
blurred colors and lines. You switch eyes, trying to make out where you are and what
happened to you.

It's the barn. The bales of hay and barrels have been shoved to the sides, opening up the space
in the middle, and there are several large silver plates with small candles on top of them.
That's stupid, the whole barn could burn down, you think until you realize that's the point of
the plates. An accidental knock and the candle won't even make it near the hay. The candles
are lighting up the whole barn.

"What the..." you mumble, tugging your wrists. You're in a standing position, and your wrists
are tied above your head. The end of the rope has been thrown over one of the beams in the
roof and tied off somewhere way out of your reach, almost like they want to hoist you up to
the ceiling. Your feet are perched on top of a box placed in the center of the barn.

It looks like a weird meeting where you're the centerpiece. You tug again- they're tied tight.
"Dammit," you curse.

"Oh, you're awake." You whip your head around, nearly sending your feet off the box, and
you see Ethel coming in from the back, carrying a small crate in her arms. "I'm sorry, dear, I
think I hit you too hard."

"What's going on?" you try to demand, but your words sort of slur together. You're still
drowsy.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, avoiding your eyes. She's wandering by each silver plate,
placing things from her crate onto each tray. Small dolls, flowers, weird objects that seem all
too random. "I- I held him off, insisted we needed proof... and then that necklace. Well, he'd
searched your room countless times before, but it was in your jacket, of course..."

"Ethel," you rasp, pulling your wrists against the ropes. It's painful. "What's happening?"

She won't look at you. Whether it's guilt or shame or something else, you don't care- you just
want answers. "His bloodline is cursed," she whispers, staring at one of the candles. "Cursed
to lose their minds, and he believes he needs a sacrifice to end it."
"He's insane," you say desperately. "You know that, right? There's no such thing as... as
curses, or anything like that-"

"I can't stop him," Ethel whispers. She turns to you and you see her eyes watering. "I can't.
I've tried. His... His grandmother- something like that- ate a fruit from that tree out back."
You remember the tree Willem pointed out to you on your first day, telling you it was a gift.
"The tree's been here ever since their family settled here, ages ago. They've been here as long
as they can remember." She chuckles wryly. "Not that they can remember much."

You exhale slowly, trying to keep yourself calm. She may as well be speaking a different
language.

She sighs, tugging the cord out from her shirt. The candlelight reflects off of the pendant.
"They were warned not to settle, not to stay, but the land was perfect. Why would they not?"

"Warned by who?" you demand.

"The people nearby," Ethel says, and it's the first clear answer you've gotten since you woke
up so you purse your lips and let her talk. "They say the tree is cursed. That no one who lives
around it ever stays long. But they didn't listen. And then his grandmother ate one of the
fruits," she murmurs. "And the curse took hold."

"Curse?" you say incredulously, tugging against the ropes. "How does that make sense? Get
cursed from eating fruit?"

"We could not eat it," Ethel repeats, ignoring your question. She's fidgeting with her
necklace. "It is a curse. She ate the fruit and lost her memory. Ever since, every person in the
Castello line has lost their memories at least once- sometimes twice."

Your head hurts. "Wait," you say, blinking, "amnesia doesn't- it doesn't just get passed down
like that- right?"

"It's a curse," Ethel repeats. "A terrible one. Willem's already lost his once- five years ago.
Sometimes it's random, from what we know, but other times it stems from accidents."

"That's not possible," you say firmly, wondering if you could reason with her. "You can't just
pass something like that through family lines."

"There are so many things in this world that can't be explained," Ethel continues, eyes very
far gone. "Why do titans exist? Why do we live in walls? How did the walls get made? There
are so many questions that have no answer. How is this any different?"

You squeeze your eyes shut. Reasoning is out of the question. "So why me?" you murmur.
"Why- why sacrifice his daughter?"

"You're..." she exhales shakily. "You're the first woman to be born into this line since the
incident. When the curse first took hold, they were determined that a sacrifice would work, so
they sacrificed one of the men in the line, but it had no effect. They..." Ethel swallows hard.
"They believe a woman must pay the price for a woman's mistake."
"That's horribly sexist," you grumble, tugging at your wrists again. "So the other girls? The
ones before me?"

She turns away, hand rising to her mouth. "All of them," she whispers. "Killed."

Your jaw slips open. "Wait, they-"

"Every time," Ethel says softly, tears spilling from her eyes. "Willem was so convinced, every
time... but after the first, his father still lost his memory- he passed away a few years ago- and
so we found someone else, but Willem still lost his memory after we'd killed her, and even
after the third girl, Willem's brother lost his memory." She sighs weakly. "He was so
convinced it worked, every single time. Until, somewhere down the road, there was proof it
didn't, that the girl- oh, the poor, innocent girl we killed was not his daughter."

"So let me go," you urge. "Get me out of here! There's- there's no guarantee that killing me
will end this, even if I am his daughter!"

"I need a better future for my sons," she whispers, voice very far away.

"Ethel!" you demand, your voice becoming shrill. "You know this isn't right! This isn't
reasonable!"

Almost like she didn't hear you, Ethel continues on, "so I insisted he wait for proof, this time-
he was so impatient, so sure about you- but I couldn't risk it, couldn't bury another one. Rann
and I married into the family... we didn't know what we were getting into until it was too
late."

She sobs, but you're having a hard time feeling bad for her when you're about to die. "Then
let me go!" you snap, tugging at the ropes again.

"He'll kill me," she whispers, shaking her head. "He- he'll kill me if I leave, kill me if I
disobey, if I don't help make a good future for our boys."

"Ethel," you demand desperately, yanking at the ropes again.

There's a loud boom outside- a crack of thunder. Shit, it's going to storm. The only thing
giving you any hope right now is that Ted should've delivered your letter to Levi- he
would've wanted to make it back before the storm. Would Levi figure it out? Would he come?

They're all psychopaths. All of them. Willem's deranged eyes are imprinted in your brain:
he's not in his right mind. "Ethel, you know this isn't right," you cry desperately, twisting at
the ropes again. "You- You know he's crazy, this curse isn't a real thing- people get in
accidents all the time, amnesia just happens-"

"Nothing happened to him," she whispers, finally meeting your eyes. "He just woke up and
had no idea who I was."

"Let me go," you plead, the venom draining from your voice. "Please."

"I can't."
Beyond the roaring in your ears, you start to make out the sound of rain hitting the roof of the
barn. You look up at the wooden beam over your head that the rope holding your wrists is
thrown over; it's looped over the bar and tied somewhere behind you that you can't see. If you
can cut that, you can get free. In the storm, you may have a decent chance of getting away.
You'd be hard to follow.

"Ethel, please," you beg as she pushes a pail next to the box that you're perched on. "Please,
let me go."

"It'll be over soon," Ethel murmurs, pushing another bucket towards your feet. You're getting
the sinking suspicion that those are to collect your blood. "It'll be over soon, and the curse
will break, and no one else will have to die."

"You're all crazy," you say desperately.

Ethel doesn't reply. She lays your necklace on one of the silver trays, muttering something
under her breath. You're screwed.

You've got a bit of slack on your wrists, but not enough to grab anything. When your arms
are completely slack, your hands can come down maybe to your forehead. If the box was
kicked out from under your feet, you'd be hanging solely from your wrists, and you're not
sure if your feet would touch the ground. You've got to find a way out, some way to break the
rope.

The door to the barn slams open. Willem steps in, shutting the door to drown out the rage of
the rain and wind. Another clap of thunder announces his presence. Your tongue swells up in
your throat- you're not going to beg, not in front of this psychopath.

"Good," he says, taking off his bowler hat and shaking the water off of it. He grins. He looks
like a maniac. "We're ready to begin."

"Let me go," you snap. "You're insane."

"Funny, the last one said that too." Willem grins. "I'm so glad, so glad..." he hums, opening
up his jacket. Your blood runs cold: there's a gun strapped to his belt and several knives
hanging on the inside of his jacket, including the one Levi gave you. There's another clap of
thunder and his grin gets wider. "Wonderful, wonderful- no one's going to hear you now."

"Willem," Ethel whispers. "There's a storm. Maybe we should wait."

He ignores her, pulling out Levi's knife- your knife- and pointing it at you. "We can make this
easy," he practically purrs, making your skin crawl, "or you can make this difficult."

You're trying to measure your options. There's not enough slack to try and strangle him with
the rope tying your wrists together. If he got close enough, maybe you could elbow him? No,
not enough slack. You could kick him. Yeah, when he gets close enough, you can kick him. A
weird thought comes to you- choke him out with your legs? Could you do that?

"That," you spit, glaring at your knife, "isn't yours."

"Well, you're not going to be around much longer to claim it as your own." He smirks. "Once
the storm is over, we will water the tree with your blood and our curse will be broken. Ethel,
you think two pails is good?"

The poor woman nods jerkily, like her head is being tugged up and down by a string. "Yes,"
she whispers, face illuminated by the candlelight. "But Willem, we could wait- just do it out
by the tree once the storm clears up-"

"No!" he bellows, rounding on her, and Ethel flinches. "It must be now! We are not letting
this chance escape us!"

Candle. An idea comes to mind. It's a stretch, because the candles are all sitting on silver
trays, so just knocking it over wouldn't be enough- you'd have to hit it hard. But maybe, just
maybe... you could start a fire.

It's risky, but it's better than the alternative. You bite your lip, head spinning.

"So?" he prompts.

You spit in his face.

He scowls, swiping his free hand across your face to get rid of your saliva. "The hard way,
then," Willem muses, and he presses the knife into your hip.

You wince, trying to hide the scream rising in your throat, and jerk up with your knee. Your
knee sinks into Willem's stomach and he grunts, and the knife slips out of you. You gasp.
Your blood stains your white shirt and starts to trail down and soak into your skirt. He didn't
stab deep enough for it to be fatal- at least, from what you can tell. "Damn you," Willem
snaps, and before his hand can snap forward to stab you again, you swing your foot up
between his legs.

"Willem!" Ethel cries as her husband- your fucking father- sinks to the ground, hissing curses
at you and crunching in on himself.

You drop your foot and step one boot off the box, letting yourself shift down to set your foot
in the pail. Thanks to the ropes, your feet won't quite touch the ground, but it's enough to let
you sink your foot down into the pail and kick it forward.

Your attempt at knocking over the candle doesn't work. The pail goes low, hitting the crate
and dropping to the ground. "She's trying to hit the candles!" Ethel cries as you drop your
foot into the second pail. You kick that one up too, but she runs in front of the candle, hands
out to block it. She knocks the pail out of the way, falling to her knees.

"Bitch," Willem curses, trying to push himself up to his feet. You kick again, but he's too far
away. He shoots a foot out and kicks the box away.

With a gasp, your body drops, and the ropes drag painfully against your wrists. Your toes
scrape against the ground; it's not enough to alleviate your pain in any way. You glance up
and wince. The ropes cut your skin and there's blood running down your arms.
 Willems coughs, pushing himself up to his feet. "Ethel! Pails!" he croaks, and Ethel tosses the
bucket she blocked towards him. He stands up shakily and brings the pail up to your elbow.
Your blood drips down your forearm and falls into Willem's bucket. You try to kick him
again, and he brings his spare hand down hard on your thigh, shoving your leg back down.

"Fucker," you gasp, pain spiking through your arms. You can taste blood in your mouth.

"Yes," Willem breathes, and he slams his palm into your hip, where he'd stabbed you earlier.
You cry out. "Yes, yes-"

There's a slam accompanied by a clap of thunder. You crane your neck up at the same time
Willem spins around. The door to the barn has been thrown open, letting in the rain and the
howl of the wind. A figure steps into the doorway, and you nearly laugh in relief.

Levi, soaked to the bone and scowling, points his blade at Willem.

"Hands," he says lowly, "off."

Chapter End Notes

Woo, an explanation. Sort of. I'll recap it next chapter if you're confused. Don't worry
too much.

Next chapter will be the last one of this mini arc here and then we'll finally be into
season one. Thanks for bearing with me so far, aha. I can't wait to write some
interactions with the main cast.

Thank you so much for the kind comments and over 450 kudos- your love is amazing
and I appreciate you all endlessly. Thank you so much!! <3
 0 - 14
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You've never been happier to see anyone in your life. With Willem's back turned, this is the
best time for you to do something, anything: hit him, kick him, choke him out with your legs.
But your limbs feel too heavy, too sore. You try to kick your leg up, but your body doesn't
seem to respond to your brain.

Levi takes another step in, blade still pointed at Willem, and his free hand swipes up to his
hair to move his wet bangs out of his eyes. "You fucking idiot," he says with a scowl, eyes
shifting to you. "Made me come out in a fucking storm."

Somehow, you laugh. "Sorry," you croak.

Ethel drags herself across the hay. "Will," she calls.

That seems to be the cue for Willem to move. He reaches to his hip for his gun, that long
bulky rifle that seems like it's a pain to carry around. Levi is faster, though. He's wearing his
ODM gear- thank god- and one of his hooks shoot into the barn wall behind you, narrowly
missing your father. Levi shoots forward, blade raised, and Willem ducks. Levi's blade
slashes upwards instead, cutting through the rope holding you up, and you drop to the ground
in a heap, knocking over the pail that Willem had been using to try and collect your blood.

There's a bang as Willem's rifle go off. You try to look around, to see if Levi's okay, but he
blurs by so fast that you can't keep up. His boot sinks into Willem's face, and the man
crumples to the ground.

You've never seen Levi in a fight. It's mesmerizing. He's a blur of movements, fast and
efficient, and despite Willem having almost a foot of height on him, he's got no chance. "No!"
Ethel sobs, crawling towards them.

"Levi!" someone shouts, and Hange runs through the door. Their hair is soaked and plastered
to their forehead, and you wonder how they can see properly without their glasses. "Let's go!"

"Hange," you gasp, hands slipping in the hay.

Levi steps over to you, blade raised, and for a half second you think he's going to attack you.
Then, he brings his blade down between your wrists, severing the ropes. It feels like your
skin can finally breathe. "Thanks," you say, pressing a palm to your stab wound and glancing
over to see what happened to Willem.

You have to swallow your bile. His face is covered in blood and he's not moving. Levi
reaches over to Willem's hand, taking your knife from his loose grip. "This isn't yours," he
says darkly. He turns back to you as you're struggling to get up to your feet, and his eyes
widen. "Shit, did he stab you?"
You look down at yourself and lift your hand away. Your hand comes away sticky with
blood; it's drenched your shirt and been sprayed along the side of your skirt. "Sort of," you
mutter.

"How do you 'sort of' get stabbed?" Levi demands.

"Levi!" Hange yells. "We've got to go!"

"She's stabbed, Shitty Glasses!" he snaps back. He grabs your shirt sleeve and yanks hard
enough to make you cry out. He pulls the torn sleeve off of your arm, staining it with the
blood from your wrist, then folds it and presses it to your hip. "Hold," Levi instructs. You
wince but do as he says.

Hange dashes into the barn, sidestepping Ethel, who's sobbing at Willem's side. "No, literally,
we have to-"

There's a resounding boom that isn't the lightning, and the entire back wall of the barn erupts
into flames. Levi puts himself between you and the flaming wall so fast that you don't even
get the chance to see him move; he's in front of you one second and behind you the next. One
of his arms slips around your shoulders and clamps on. "What the hell, Hange!" Levi yells
next to your ear.

"I've been working on that for a while!" Hange shouts back, grinning insanely. They whoop
proudly. "Damn!"

"You're a psychopath!" he shouts, and his arm tightens around your shoulders. One of Levi's
hands slides under your knees and he pulls you up to his chest effortlessly. You hiss in pain,
trying to keep the torn cloth pressed to your wound, and Levi stands, tightening his grip
around you. "Hold on," he mutters.

You don't even have the energy to argue. You let your head fall against Levi's shoulder,
trusting him to handle the rest.

Something creaks, and there's a crash; a piece of the roof fell through and nearly squashed
Hange. "Let's go, you idiot," Levi snaps, and they both head to the barn door, away from the
flames.

You open your eyes weakly. Willem is still unconscious on the ground, and Ethel is hunched
over him, sobbing hysterically.

You meet her eyes. She mouths, I'm sorry.

The apology doesn't mean much, but you still can't help but feel bad for her. Trapped in an
emotionally abusive marriage with a psychopath. You get it, you really do- she's forced to do
this, scared of repercussions, and justifiably so. You hope she makes it out okay.

The rain is heavy when you leave the building, and it's a relief from the sudden swell of heat
in the barn. "You got her?" Hange calls as they jog towards the horses- tied to a tree, only
slightly sheltered by the tree branches.
"Stay awake, you dumbass," Levi mutters as he hands you off to Hange so that he can get on
his horse.

You chuckle weakly. "Yeah, yeah."

Somehow, Hange and Levi manage to get you situated on Levi's horse, sitting in front of him
with both legs swung over one side of the horse and your head on his shoulder. You glance
back at the burning barn. The rain is combatting the flames, but whatever Hange did has
caused a lot of damage. You're not sure whether Willem and Ethel will live or not, and you're
trying not to care, but you can still see Ethel's desperate face when you close your eyes.

"Don't you dare die on me," Levi mutters as the horses start to run.

"I thought you didn't give a shit," you murmur.

"I don't."

You laugh weakly to yourself, studying his face. His eyes are set dead ahead, his gaze stone
cold. But as you look up, his eyes flicker down to you briefly, and his expression melts for a
fraction of a second.

You smile. "Sure, you don't."

"Shut up," Levi grumbles.

Hange shouts something, but you can't hear them over the clap of thunder. You let your eyes
flutter shut, allowing the rain to soak your face and your hair. Your clothes are drenched with
rain and blood. Eventually, the rain drowns out the sound of horse hooves on mud and Levi
cursing under his breath.

How nice would it be if there were stars, you think deliriously.

It becomes too tiring to stay awake, and you let yourself fall asleep.

When you wake up, you're back in your old hospital room, and Levi is asleep in the chair
next to you.

You blink open your good eye, then try your bad eye. To your surprise, the image looks clear.
Normally using both eyes at once leaves one side blurry and muddled and eventually gives
you a headache, but for once, everything looks clear. How bizarre.

You sit up, wincing and hugging your side. You cover your good eye and turn your injured
eye on Levi, and nearly sob in relief when you realize you can see him. It's not crystal clear,
but you can see the smudges of color that make up his jacket and shirt, his lips pressed in a
hard line, head tipped sideways. It's the best vision you've ever had in this eye, at least.

"I can see you," you whisper, and his eyes open.
"What?" Levi asks.

"You were awake?" you ask awkwardly, dropping your hand.

"I never slept." He tips his head at you. "You can see out of your bad eye?"

You nod, biting your lip, and cover your good eye once again. You blink, focusing on Levi.
"Y- Yeah," you stammer, "I can. It's not great, but I can still see you."

Levi reaches forward. For a second you think he's going to hit you, which is ridiculous- he's
moving much too slowly. He reaches out, and you remain frozen in place, completely caught
off guard. His thumb presses gently into your cheek, then shifts sideways. He's brushing
away a tear from your injured eye. "Can't see shit if you're crying," he remarks as he leans
back.

You're half wondering if you just made up Levi brushing a tear away in your head or if it
actually happened. You touch your hand to your cheek. "I didn't know," you say softly.

He's about to say something else when there's a yawn from beside you. You nearly jump, then
lean over the edge. "Don't tell me you slept on the floor," you say, raising an eyebrow at the
figure on the ground that you hadn't noticed earlier.

Hange grins, rubbing their eyes. "Yup! Levi took the chair!"

"Levi," you scold lightly. "If you weren't going to sleep, you may as well have given the chair
to Hange." Levi rolls his eyes. "What are you guys even doing here? Why would you sleep
here?"

"We came back and brought you to Doctor Fizal, and she patched you right up," Hange says,
pushing themselves up from the floor. They're much too enthusiastic for someone who just
woke up. "Oh! Sorry, I was using your jacket as a pillow," they add, handing you your black
jacket.

Your jaw slips open slightly, taking it from them like it's pure gold. To you, it is. "How'd you
get this?" you whisper.

Levi leans back in his seat. "We got your note- stupid fucking code, by the way-"

You frown. "I thought it was good."

"It was," Hange assures you, "he's just pissed he didn't understand it on his own."

Levi shoots them a murderous glare and looks back to you. "Hange got the location on the
village and we rode down. You mentioned your room had a skylight, so we checked that first
and checked inside. Your room had been flipped upside down." You swallow, thinking of
how Willem scoured your room for any sort of proof. "We grabbed your jacket and were
going to storm the house when-"

"When I saw lights on in the barn," Hange interrupts. Levi clicks his tongue in irritation but
doesn't say anything. "So Mr. Impatient over here stormed right in and I decided to try out
something I was working on!"

"A bomb," you say dryly.

"Sort of. And it was a perfect trial run, even in the rain!" Their eyes gleam. "I only wish I
could've stayed to collect evidence!"

You share a look with Levi, and he rolls his eyes. "Your turn," he says, kicking the side of the
bed. "What the hell was that?"

You take a deep breath and go through everything that you couldn't cover in your letters. The
conversation you overheard on the first night, the little hints and clues that indicated that
something might be up. When you found out they were reading your mail, when Willem
searched your room and found that pendant in your jacket. You try to explain the 'curse' or
whatever Willem and Ethel were squabbling about, but you don't entirely understand it
yourself.

"So let me recap," Hange says when you're done. "One of your ancestors ate a fruit and lost
their memory."

"Yep."

"And ever since, everyone in the family line loses their memory."

"Yep."

"So because a woman ate the fruit, they thought they needed a female sacrifice," Hange says
slowly, pressing their fingertips together. "And you were the first female born into your line
ever since."

You shrug. "Pretty much."

They nod, leaning back against the wall. "That explains why your mother would run away to
the underground. She gave birth, realized you were female and what that meant for you, and
took off."

The three of you sit in silence. Your head's still sort of spinning, but it feels like you'll pass
out the moment you lie down, so you do your best to keep yourself upright. Will they come
after you? Willem, Ethel, Rann- would they follow you here?

Levi snorts. "What a bunch of psychopaths."

"Well, I didn't want to say it," Hange mutters.

You manage a weak laugh. "Yeah. Sorry for making you guys come down and save my ass. I
spent a while trying to figure out how I could get out on my own, but there were too many
issues." You press a hand to your side, feeling for the thick bandages. "Wait- you two didn't
get in trouble, did you?"

"Of course we did," Hange replies brightly. "We up and left in the middle of the night."
"We told Erwin where we were going," Levi says.

"Correction- I told Erwin where we were going, you were too busy trying to rush off to your
horse," they say, rolling their eyes. Levi grits his teeth but turns his head away, not saying
anything to argue. "Don't worry. Levi over here's been wracking up the punishments, so it's
like a second nature to him now."

You turn to Levi, unable to hide the amused smirk on your face. "You're a trouble maker?"
you ask, grinning.

"No," he snaps.

"Yes," Hange objects with a grin. "Major behavioral issues when he started. Wouldn't listen
to anyone, wouldn't take orders from anyone- except Erwin, of course, but-"

"Shut your mouth or I'll punch you," Levi threatens.

Hange continues, unbothered. "No punishment seemed to do it, though. Little freak loves to
clean-" if looks could kill, Hange would be dead twenty times over from the murderous gaze
in Levi's eyes- "and he didn't mind ration cuts or extra training or anything. Eventually, Erwin
got through to him, but he was a nightmare while we were waiting for you to wake up."

"You're so dead," he mutters.

The information amuses you, but Levi's glaring at you so hard that it feels like talking about
it is dangerous. "So, uh..." You clear your throat. "Is there any way I can talk to Erwin?" you
say, glancing at Levi warily. "I want to talk to him about joining the training corps. If that's
fine with you," you add, frowning at him.

He raises his eyebrows at you. "I'm not your keeper."

"You're such a hypocrite." Your eye twitches in irritation. "No, but you were certainly trying
your hardest to keep me away from it."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Seriously? You little-"

"Little what?" Levi challenges, leaning forward.

"Calm down, you two," Hange says with a roll of their eyes. "You're signed up." You turn to
Hange, mouth dropping in surprise. "As soon as you mentioned in your letters that you still
wanted to, even after spending so much time on the farm, there really wasn't much the doctor
could do to protest. You're enrolled in the 104th squad, southern division."

You stare at them in surprise, then back to Levi.

He shrugs. "Don't get all excited. It's three years."

"Three years?" you murmur. You hadn't expected it to be so long. "Do I have to do all of it?"
you say awkwardly, rubbing the back of your head. "I mean, three years is a long time. And
I'm sure I already know stuff. And I've already been outside the walls."

Hange laughs. "Oh, you're cute. I'll go get Erwin. He'll want to know you're awake anyways."

They head out of the hospital room, leaving you alone with Levi. You turn to him, frowning.
"Are you sure there's no way that I could, like, speed run this?" you ask. "Do I really have to
do the full three years?"

Levi is quiet for a moment before he responds. "The squad hated us at first."

"That doesn't answer my question. Hated who?"

"Me. You. Isabel and Farlan."

You straighten up a bit. "Really?"

"It's more than just your abilities. Those soldiers gave us shitty treatment when we first
joined. Called us underground scum. Shit on us no matter what we did and always found
reasons to kick us around." Levi shrugs. "Not that we cared. But after..." he waves his hand
ambiguously, referencing the night you lost your memories and Isabel and Farlan were eaten.
"After that, it still took me about a year to get rid of the comments."

"Really?" you say, surprised. From what you've seen and heard, Levi's one of the best
soldiers they've got- surely they'd realize his talent and completely accept him. "Why so
long?"

"Most were fine after the first mission. Others, probably just jealous." He locks eyes with
you. "We skipped the mandatory three years that everyone else had to do. Besides, you don't
have the same skills you did before. It'd be worse for you than it was for me. And more
dangerous."

You grit your teeth. "So it's politics, then. Sort of."

He doesn't say anything else. You're still kind of reeling over the whole three more years
business since you've already spent the last two trying to figure out who you are and what
you can do. Even now, you still don't have a great handle on yourself.

"Oi."

You look up, trying not to look too frustrated.

Levi laces his fingers, props his elbows up on his knees, and leans his chin onto his
intertwined fingers. "I'm not losing you too."

"You're not losing me-"

"I know there's nothing I can do short of locking you in the dungeons and barricading the
doors that would stop you from getting yourself into trouble," Levi says shortly. You glower
 at him, but he's right, so you can't really protest. "So if you're going to be a pain in my ass,
you may as well be trained."

Your mouth opens, then closes. You can't really think of anything to say. "Okay," you say
blandly.

Levi nods. "Good."

He stands up and heads towards the door. You're not sure where the random burst of courage
comes from, but you quickly pipe up and say, "I'm not going anywhere." He pauses in the
doorway. "You're going to be stuck with me for a while. Whether you like it or not."

Levi turns back towards you, and you're surprised to see that the corner of his mouth has
twitched up. "Then I'm expecting you to be the best damn soldier I've ever seen."

He leaves, closing the door behind him, and you stare up at the ceiling, fighting off a proud
smirk. Alright. Three more years and you'll be able to join Levi in the scouts. Three years.

That's all it'll take. You can do this.

Chapter End Notes

Thank you so much for over 500 kudos- y'all are insane. I love you guys.

I'm so ready to get into season one, and start developing this a little more, because if we
have to go to chapter 25 before I finally write a kiss I'm going to shoot something.

Also, shameless plug- I've got another Levi x Reader story that's a modern office au
called No Funny Business. It's full of smut and a bunch of office fluff and it's gonna be
about 20 chapters (I'm only 10 in so far). I update every Tuesday, so if you need
something to do during the week... ;)

Have a safe and healthy weekend!! See you next Friday!!

 1-1
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You most absolutely can not do this.

These kids all look like they're twelve. Twelve! And while you have no idea how old you are,
you know you're definitely not twelve. Granted, there's some people here who look more like
your age. Hange told you that the earliest anyone can enlist is twelve years old, but a lot of
people end up joining later, due to changes in career or loss of business or anything like that.

Still, the majority look much too young. You've seen the titans, you've been outside the walls;
these kids have so much life in their eyes. They don't know what's out there.

Well, you muse to yourself as the instructor wades through the recruits, stopping to yell at
most of them, I suppose there's always the Garrison. Or if they're lucky enough, the MPs.
Hange had told you all about the ranking system and the three possible branches that you can
be assigned to.

You'd told them you didn't want to be anywhere else other than the Survey Corps.

"You could go to the interior," Levi had said, glaring at you hard. "Live in safety."

"I don't care," you'd insisted. "I want to be where you are."

"Don't say shit like that, idiot."

That had been the last time you'd seen Levi, two weeks ago. You weren't sure how often you
were going to see him over the next three years, but Hange promised that they'd drag Levi
down to come visit.

Three years, you remind yourself.

You can do this.

Soon enough, the head instructor- you believe his name is Shadis- stops in front of you. You
tighten your hand in your salute and meet his gaze, refusing to waver. "What's your name,
maggot?" he demands, eyebrows narrowing as he glares at you.

You want to laugh at his attempt at intimidation. There's no one out there scarier than Levi.

Before you can reply, he says, "oh, don't even bother. I know your name. Commander Erwin
told me about you."

Your fingernails dig into your palms. Then why'd you ask?

"No intention on rankings, then?" Shadis asks. "Dead set on Survey Corps?"
"Yes, sir," you say.

His glare darkens with a hidden pain behind his eyes. "We'll see how useless you really are."

You've got to admit, it is really nice sitting in a mess hall. The hall's alive with chatter, but
you're older than the bulk of the group and not friends with anyone, so you're left alone. But
you don't mind- you like to observe, watching who is easily angered and who gets in fights
with who. So you decide to sit alone at the back of the room, at the very end of one of the
tables, left to your meals in peace.

Days go by, and the intro training is desperately boring. A few lame self defense lessons
which you pick up easily (Hange mentioned you could fight, and if it was against Levi, then
you're betting you were damn good at it) and an intro to the ODM gear. For some reason,
plenty of people seem to have trouble with sitting in a harness. The process comes easy to
you; you even swing your arms around loosely, pretending you've got swords in hand, and
you've got no difficulty staying balanced.

Shadis regards you with a cold eye. Sometimes, he looks at you like you're already dead.

It isn't until two weeks in before someone decides to bother you at your table. A boy with
shaggy brown hair comes up to your table, plate clutched firmly in his hands. You meet his
eyes: they're a startlingly bright blue-green. Or maybe just green? You can't tell in the
lighting.

"You're the one who said on the first day that you were joining the Survey Corps," he says.

He says it like a statement, not a question. "And?" you ask, frowning.

"I want to join them too," he says, and there's a fire in his eyes that makes you believe him.
"And everyone who hears me say that just says I'm crazy. You don't find many people who
want to."

You shrug, leaning backwards. "Not many people have a death wish."

"Do you?"

"No."

"Then why are you aiming for the Survey Corps?"

You consider your words, then answer, "I've got someone waiting for me there."

"Oh." The boy stares at you, pondering your reasoning. Then, his shoulders roll back, like
he's relaxing. "Can I sit?"

"Go for it."

He sits down across from you, setting his plate down on the table. "Eren!" someone calls, and
you look up to see a girl with black hair and sharp eyes moving towards you. She's got a red
scarf wrapped around her shoulders. She's quite pretty. "I was gone for two seconds," she
mumbles. She eyes you warily, like she's not sure whether you're a friend or foe.

"Just making friends, Mikasa," the boy named Eren says. "No biggie."

"You can sit too, if you want," you say, gesturing to the empty table. "There's space."

Mikasa watches for a moment, then sits down next to Eren. "What's your name?" Eren asks,
biting into his bread.

"Just call me Logan. You?"

"I'm Eren. And this is Mikasa. And- hey, Armin!" Eren calls, waving at a blond boy looking
around the mess hall. The poor kid jumps upon hearing his name, but when he spots Eren, he
comes towards the table, smiling. "And this is Armin," Eren concludes. "We've all been
friends since we were kids."

"H- Hi," Armin says, sitting on the other side of Eren. "I saw you in combat training- you're
really good."

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh? Thanks." It's all beginner stuff. No big deal.

"Why do you wear an eyepatch?" Eren says bluntly.

Mikasa elbows him. "Eren, you can't just ask people that."

"It's an obvious question," he objects, huffing. "Not my fault everyone else is too scared to
ask."

You blink in surprise. "Scared to ask?"

Armin shares an uncomfortable glance with Mikasa, but Eren just forges on, oblivious. "Only
a few people managed to get the hang of that ODM drill right away," he says, glancing
sideways at Mikasa. "Plus you've beat everyone up in combat training. And you don't, well,
you don't seem that friendly."

"I don't seem friendly," you repeat.

"It's probably the eye patch," he laments with a shrug.

"Eren, you're being rude," Armin whispers.

You laugh to yourself. You never realized that you were being seen as intimidating; you'd just
assumed everyone already had people that they wanted to hang out with. "My eye's scarred,"
you say casually, reaching up and pulling your eyepatch down. You blink your bad eye open,
pleased at how much progress you've made. It's almost as good as new. "It's been healing for
a while. I've got vision now, though. Almost back to normal."

Armin and Eren gasp, and even Mikasa's eyes widen. "That's a nasty scar," Armin murmurs.
"How'd you get it?" Eren asks eagerly.

"Fighting titans," you reply casually, snapping the patch back into place over your eye.

His eyes go as wide as saucers. Eren actually jerks up from the table, palms striking the wood
so hard that the plates rattle. "You what?!" he screeches, drawing way too much attention to
your typical unnoticed table. You can't help but laugh.

Mikasa tugs his sleeve. "Eren, sit down."

"She's pulling your leg, Eren," Armin says, seeing your laugh and misinterpreting it as
triumph rather than amusement.

Eren slumps back down, muttering something under his breath. You glance at Armin, but he's
still eyeing you suspiciously, so maybe he wasn't fooled. Maybe he realizes you're telling the
truth after all. You frown, eating the rest of your bread. He seems sharp.

From then on, the small collection around your table grows. Although Eren, Mikasa, and
Armin- whom you've now dubbed the Trio of Misfits- don't sit with you every time, they still
keep you company occasionally, and that's how you meet Jean and Marco. Jean and Eren
seem to have some sort of rivalry and you're not quite sure where it stems from, but it puts
them at odds every other meal.

When Jean nearly kicks you in the head while trying to lunge at Eren, Marco apologizes on
his behalf and introduces himself. "He's just got a bit of pent up aggression," Marco says
pleasantly as Jean stuffs Eren's face into the floor. "He's always like this."

"Don't rat on me, Marco!" Jean snaps.

"Don't look down on me!" Eren yells, grabbing Jean's ankle and tugging. With a yell, Jean
vanishes below your line of sight.

You glance sideways at Mikasa. "You going to step in?"

She shrugs. "Soon."

Soon enough, you meet Sasha when she tries to steal the food off of your plate, and you meet
Connie when he tells some sort of awful joke and can't stop laughing at himself for an hour.
You're introduced to Krista when she offers you half of her bread (after Sasha stole yours)
and you meet Ymir soon after because apparently the two are inseparable.

Training is good too. The combat is your favorite part, mostly because it all comes easy to
you and you're kicking everyone's ass. You haven't actually tried any ODM gear yet, only the
preliminary classes and that balance test that everyone keeps attempting. There's a few
lessons on titan anatomy, a few history lessons (which bore you to sleep) and other lectures
that are actually somewhat interesting.

But you miss Levi.

Sure, you went ages without seeing him while you were at the farm, and the other trainees are
good company, but you miss him regardless. You miss having tea, you miss his constant
complaints, you miss him harassing you and Hange. You miss Hange's optimism, their
excitement, and the friendly banter that they struck up with Levi.

In the few weeks you'd had before training had begun, Levi and Hange had hung out with
you constantly (more like Hange dragging Levi into it, but same difference). You'd all had
tea, done a deep cleaning of your hospital room- at least you know now why you'd called
Levi a clean freak in one of your first meetings, he's an absolute demon- and every once in a
while, you and Levi would go to the roof of the hospital and watch the stars.

Star gazing felt familiar, and even though you'd asked Levi about it, he never told you
whether it was something you used to do or not. But you were content to sit under the stars
with Levi in silence, so you didn't bother him about it. You'd take what you could get.

And so, here you are. Three months into training. Sitting up on the roof of your barracks,
watching the stars. It's become a routine for you at this point, but it relaxes you like nothing
else can.

"I sparred with Jean today," you tell the stars. You smile wryly at the memory. "I kicked his
ass."

The stars don't reply. They never do, and it makes it easy to talk.

"We learned about the king today. It was pretty boring, I think I slept through it. Can't
remember." You chuckle. "I miss you," you say, letting your head fall back against the roof.
"And Hange. I know you're busy training, but I always wonder what you're up to."

You reach a hand up to the sky, fingers outstretched for something you'll never reach, then let
your hand fall back against the roof. "I wonder if you're watching the sky too," you muse to
yourself. "I like to think you are."

As usual, the stars don't reply.

"You're out here again, Levi?"

He turns from his post on the balcony wall. Hange is standing in the doorway, leaning against
the side with their arms crossed and a knowing smile on their face. Levi doesn't respond and
turns back, head tipped up to the sky. The stars are especially bright tonight. He wonders if
you're seeing them too.

"You know," Hange remarks, "you could just go visit her instead of pining for her like this."

"I'm not pining," Levi replies. "Fuck off."

Hange doesn't join him out on the balcony wall. They never do, almost like they see that as
something special for him and him alone. "Do you ever sleep?" they joke, but Levi doesn't
 reply, because he knows they already know the answer. With a sigh, Hange's voice softens. "I
spoke to Erwin. We're going to visit her tomorrow."

Levi startles so suddenly that he almost throws himself off the balcony in surprise. "What-
we're what?"

"Going to visit her," Hange repeats, "so that maybe you can stop moping around."

He bares his teeth. "I'm not moping-"

"Then what shall we call this?" they say with a knowing grin, gesturing widely. "Moping.
Pining. Yearning. Craving?"

"It's not- I'm not-" Levi hisses in frustration and rakes a hand through his hair. "We can't just
go visit. She's training, and we- we're training, Shitty Glasses. We've got shit to do-"

"Not tomorrow, we don't," Hange says triumphantly. "We're going to oversee the trainees and
look for new recruits."

"Erwin bought that bullshit?"

"No, but he agrees that you've been more pissed off than usual, so he's hoping this will help."
They adjust their glasses. Levi resists the urge to throw something at them. "We'll leave
tomorrow after the morning debriefing."

Levi knows he's complaining a lot, but he's torn. He wants to see you, and that's exactly the
problem- he wants to see you a bit more than he should. It's safer here, safer to think about
you from a distance, safer to stay away from you and take no risk at all. He thought he'd
gotten rid of these feelings, these stupid ambitions, this stupid attachment to you that he can't
explain.

But, as he knew it would, his desire wins out. "Fine," Levi snaps.

"I knew you'd say yes," Hange says gleefully. "See you tomorrow, Levi. Get some sleep!"

They head back inside, leaving Levi alone on the balcony wall to stare up at the stars. Levi
doesn't know why they bother- the both of them know he won't sleep. A nice sentiment, he
supposes.

He hopes you're sleeping better than he is.

Chapter End Notes

Hello loves!~

Okay, I know I say a lot of crap but I promise you're getting a shit ton of Levi x Reader
content after this. Literally ever chapter in the near future is gonna have it (probably). If
you've dealt with me thus far, hopefully you can wait another week.

Thank you so much for all of the love. I really can't say it enough. <3
 1-2
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"We have special guests today."

You glance up at Shadis, standing at the head of the mess hall. You're intrigued. Who's
showing up that this grumpy old man would consider special?

"A few members of the Survey Corps are coming here," he says, "just to observe. So there's
no need for any of you to act irrationally or embarrass myself or any of the other staff as a
result. Understood?"

He's met with a collective "understood" but you're staring at him like he just told you the sky
is coming down.

"Logan?" Armin asks, catching onto your shock. "What's wrong?"

"Scared of the Survey Corps?" Jean says with a cocky laugh from the nearby table. "C'mon,
they're probably just sending some small fry to intimidate us."

You know exactly who's coming, and you know that if Levi heard Jean say that, the poor boy
would be six feet under. "I'm not scared," you reply, smirking, "but you should be, because
you don't want him to hear you say that."

"Him?" Eren asks. "You know who's coming?"

"I've got a good guess."

"Who? How do you know?"

"She just said she's guessing, Eren," Connie says. "But who is it?"

You grin. "You'll have to wait and see."

The news sets you on edge for the rest of the day. You're on high alert all morning. If Levi's
coming, you'd put money on Hange being there too- that's if it was even them coming. Your
hunch could be completely off. Maybe Erwin's showing up with a bunch of random scouts.

They don't show up until combat training in the late afternoon, and even then, you don't
notice until your partner whispers, "is that Captain Levi?"

You glance sideways and have to stifle your grin. Standing at the edge of the crowd with
Shadis is none other than Levi, who looks every bit as good as he did since you last saw him
three months ago. His eyes are fixed on the crowd, and you can't tell if he's seen you or not.
Hange is standing next to him, an excited grin on their face, and there's two others scouts
there that you don't recognize.
"Oh no," your combat partner, a short girl named Mina, whispers. "That's Captain Levi."

"Yeah," you say, pushing down your smile.

"I wonder what he wants with the recruits," she murmurs, her clenched fists shaking around
the wooden knife. "Why- why is he here?"

You shrug. "Shadis said it was just to observe."

Mina squeaks. "Oh, they're looking this way!" She turn back to you frantically. "Hurry, do the
technique, we don't want to be caught slacking," she whispers urgently, handing you the fake
knife. "Here, I'll try the disarm."

"Okay," you agree, smiling to yourself. "Go for it."

Today was your first day working with knives- fake ones, at that- and Shadis had only taught
you one primary defensive maneuver to protect against someone trying to stab you with the
knife. The third years across the yard- the 102nd squad- had moved into free-for-all, which
you're really looking forward to doing in your third year. Practicing one maneuver over and
over again was a bit tedious, but you could see why Shadis was making you do it. There were
a lot of people struggling with the technique.

Mina successfully pulls off the technique and she grins. "I got it!"

"Nice," you say, smiling as you get up from the ground.

"You try." She takes the knife and smiles. "Here I come!"

Mina shifts forward, hand thrust forward with the point of the knife aimed at your stomach.
You sidestep her and bring your hand down on her forearm. You slide your hand down to her
wrist, and grabbing with the other hand, twist her forearm towards you. Mina goes tumbling
to the ground and you pull off the disarm easily. "You good?" you ask as Mina sits up.

"Yep! You're really good," she compliments.

You're about to say something back when you realize the people around you have stopped
working. You glance up, and you're surprised to see the trainees parting to get out of the way
of Levi, who's walking towards you. Your anxiety spikes. He's never been a very public
person- what the hell is he doing?

He stops in front of you and Mina, then turns to glare at you. "You call that a disarm?"

You haven't seen him in three months, and this is how he greets you? You bite your lip to
prevent a snarky remark, and your eyes drift to the people behind Levi. Hange grins at you
and offers you a small wave, and then you finally clue in. He's testing you, sort of. Maybe
he's showing off- or maybe Shadis asked for a demo and he's choosing to pick on you. Either
way, it's personal.

You narrow your eyes at him, wondering what kind of game he's playing at, and Levi sighs.
He pulls off his green cloak and tosses it at Hange, who snatches in from the air and folds it
into their arms. The trainees have all moved back to make some sort of lopsided circle. Mina
has long since skittered out of the way. "Let's see, then," he says.

"Attack you or disarm you?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Disarm." Levi pull a silver blade out of his boots, and a murmur runs through the trainees.
You've been working with fake knives, not the real thing.

"What's this for?" you ask.

Levi casually tosses the knife up in the air, catching it by the handle. "Shadis wanted a
demo," he says casually, and you glance sideways at the old man, who's standing with Hange.
His expression doesn't change. Levi's voice rises as he turns and says, "unless you'd rather it
be one of you?"

The two boys he was talking to immediately snap their mouths shut- they'd been chatting. "I
bet I could do it," one of them says confidently.

You roll your eyes at him. Cocky kid.

"Then you're next," Levi agrees. He lowers himself into a shorter stance, knees bent and knife
held up by his face. He's holding it backhanded. He raises an eyebrow as if to ask if you're
really going to go through with this.

You shrug, turning your back foot inwards and bending your knees into a better fighting
stance. "Alright," you say cautiously.

"Get on with it, Levi," Shadis says.

No sooner have the words left his mouth when Levi lunges. The blade rolls over in his hand
and he moves to stab you, and in a split second, you really think he's fully intending on
hitting you. Asshole, you hiss in your head as you dodge sideways, hands flying to his
forearm to try and perform Shadis's technique.

Levi's got other ideas. He flips the knife in his hand so it's backhanded again, and he swings
his arm. You're caught off guard, and you jump backwards to avoid the swing.

"Come on," Levi murmurs, eyes sharp.

You take that as a silent message: you can do better than that.

You growl in the back of your throat, and this time when Levi lunges, you let your instincts
take over and you shift to the inside of his stabbing arm instead of the outside. You cock your
fist back and aim for Levi's face.

You know that no matter how hard you try, you're not going to be able to hit him in the face,
so you don't feel the slightest bit guilty about completely extending your fist towards his
head. As you expected, he dodges, but it's all the distraction you need. You pivot so that your
back is pressed to his chest, drop to one knee to get below his center of gravity, and with your
hands tight on his arm, you throw him over your shoulder.
By some miracle, it works. You're not sure how, but Levi actually goes over your back and
onto the ground. However, Levi takes advantage of your momentary surprise and uses his
momentum to pull you forward. With a yelp, you go flying over top of Levi, and in the time it
takes you to blink, he's on top of you with the knife pressed to your throat.

You're just surprised that your move actually worked. Levi's posed above you, one hand
holding one of your arms to the ground, thighs tight on either side of you.

"You're dead," he says simply.

"Nice to see you too," you mutter.

Levi hops off of you, and you sigh and push yourself to your feet, brushing the dust off of
your pants. You glance at Shadis, who's still watching you with a wary eye. What's his
problem? you think to yourself, disgruntled.

"You were supposed to show off the disarm, not her," is all he says, his words directed to
Levi.

He tosses the knife casually in his hand. "I think that worked fine." He turns back to the
arrogant boy from earlier. "You're up."

The boy looks as pale as a sheet. His friend has to nudge him with his elbow to get him to
talk. It takes him a second, but he manages to shake his head frantically. "No- no thank you.
Sir."

"Well, if there's no other volunteers." You've never heard it be so quiet. "Cadets, you're
dismissed," Shadis says. "Go clean yourselves up. Dinner in an hour."

The trainees all seem much too eager to get away. You catch eye of Sasha and Connie, both
of whom are staring at you with wide eyes and open mouths, but Marco manages to herd
them in with the rest of the cadets. You let them all go by you, eyes narrowed on Levi. He's
clipping his cloak back on, unbothered.

Shadis, however, doesn't seem to recognize your desire to speak with Levi and Hange. "Are
you deaf, Logan?" he asks.

"No, sir," you say, hands tightening into fists by your sides.

"Then get a move on."

"I had a question, sir."

"Well, get on with it then."

"Was that intentional?" you ask with a frown, keeping your body rigid. "Picking me to go up
against Levi out of literally every other cadet here?"

Shadis pauses. You can feel Levi's eyes in the back of your head. The only other people still
here are Hange, who's standing next to Levi, and the two other Survey Corps members that
you don't recognize. "I've seen you two spar before," he says measuredly. "I thought it would
be a good example to the cadets of what they can accomplish with hard work."

You scowl to yourself and turn back to Levi and Hange. "Were one of you going to tell me I
knew how to fight, or was I supposed to pick that up myself?"

"I missed you too!" Hange says brightly.

"I'm aware of your unique situation, Logan," Shadis says, and you turn back to him. "I know
you've already been outside the walls and that you're no stranger to combat. And you have
my respect for choosing to do the three years of training before rejoining the Survey Corps."

You resist the urge to laugh. Choose? You didn't fucking choose this.

"So, as I've already discussed with some of your... comrades, here," he continues, eyeing Levi
and Hange, "if they were to come here and provide more advanced training to you, perhaps it
wouldn't be misplaced."

"Really?" you say in surprise.

"Provided that their schedules allow and you don't turn out to be totally useless."

You bite your tongue to keep yourself from snapping back, and you salute Shadis, keeping
your mouth pinched in a flat line. "Thank you, sir," you say. Extra training- that means seeing
a lot more of Levi. You'd take a deal on that any day. "Am I dismissed?"

He nods. "Get yourself cleaned up."

You nod, then glance back at Levi and Hange. "Are you eating dinner with us?" you ask.

Hange nods, grinning. "Yep! We're headed back after food."

"Then I'll see you there," you say, eyes lingering on Levi. It's been three months, and
although that's not the longest amount of time you've spent apart, you sort of wish that he'd
greet you a bit nicer than beating you up. "See you at dinner," you repeat, and once it's clear
Levi doesn't have any intention of saying anything to you, you turn on your heel and head
back to the barracks.

When you get there, several of the girls are already in the baths to clean off, but there's still a
bunch who crowd around you when you get back. "Are you okay?" Mina asks, grabbing onto
your arm. "That was crazy!"

"How'd you throw him like that?" Sasha adds. "Where'd you learn to do that?"

You smile weakly, frazzled by the attention, and brush off the questions by saying you need
to clean up. You spend an awful long time in the baths, sinking your head under the surface
and letting the water rush into your ears and then rising again. You're nervous for dinner;
when did you start getting nervous about spending time with Levi? It used to make you
anxious, but that was when you didn't have any memories.
You let your head sink under the water again. Granted, you still don't know much at all, but
surely you wouldn't be nervous by now. There's a loud sound and you emerge from the water,
gasping for air. It's a clanging in the distance- the dinner bell. Shit.

Scrambling, you change and dry your hair the best you can, but there's really not enough time
and you end up jogging to the mess hall with your hair still damp. Scowling to yourself, you
go through the food line and pick up your plate, then spin around and scan the mess hall,
looking for your usual spot and then seeking out the Survey Corps.

You don't see them at first, but it's hard to miss them: Levi, Hange, and the other two are
sitting at the end of the hall, and all the trainees are giving them a ten foot bubble of space.
Too scared to talk to them? you think to yourself with a chuckle.

"Hey! Logan!" Eren calls, waving a hand at you. You head over to them and take a seat next
to Armin. From here, you're facing the scouts, and Levi is facing you. He meets your eyes.
You hold his gaze. "What was that earlier?" Eren asks, snapping you out of your stare down
with Levi. "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"

You shrug. "Don't know."

"She's got some secret technique that she ain't sharing," Jean says with a roll of his eyes.
"Obviously."

No, you literally don't know. "I've got no clue," you say honestly, shrugging again.

"Are you okay?" Krista asks, eyes wide with concern. You nod. "It looked like he flipped you
over pretty hard."

"Nah, didn't hurt," you say, and you glance back at the scouts. Levi had been looking at you,
but when you meet his eyes, he turns away. "Did everyone back away from them?" you ask,
glancing around your table. "Why's no one sitting with them?"

Marco shrugs. "I don't know. I think everyone's a bit intimidated."

"Captain Levi keeps glaring at everyone," Connie points out.

"You should go over there, Connie," Ymir suggests, punching his shoulder.

"Oh, hell no! Why don't you go, Ymir?"

"I'll go if Krista does," she says, turning to the blonde. "How 'bout it?"

Krista gulps. "No thanks."

"That's humanity's strongest," Eren says excitedly, hitting the hilt of his fork on the table.
"Who better than to ask about titans? He's obviously the best at killing them. We could learn
stuff!"

"Don't, Eren," Mikasa mutters, her fingers pinched at his sleeve.

"I'll go," you decide.

You stand up, plate in hand, and march over to the scouts before anyone can protest. As soon
as you start moving, Levi's eyes are on you again, watching you like a hawk. Hange's got
their back to you and can't see you, but they must hear you coming because they turn and
grin.

You take the seat next to Hange, across from Levi, and set your plate down. "You know,
everyone's terrified of you guys now," you remark, picking up your bread.

"They're all idiots," Levi replies.

Hange wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you in for a side hug. "We missed you!
How's training? How're the other cadets? Do you miss us?"

"I do miss you guys," you agree, "and training was going good until today." You shoot Levi a
glare.

He snorts and rolls his eyes. "Thought you'd be better than that."

"We can go again," you challenge, pointing your fork at him, which probably doesn't look
very threatening. "Besides, that wasn't really a nice greeting after not visiting me for three
months."

"He was-" Hange starts, but Levi shoots them the darkest death glare you've ever seen, and
they continue, "he was busy. We all are."

Guilt gnaws at you. Of course they're all busy- you're not that important. They've got plans to
make, missions to go on, titans to kill. There's so many other things they could be doing.
"Sorry," you apologize, dipping your head. "I know you've got things to do. I'm sorry."

Levi swats Hange. "Now you've made her feel bad. Great job."

"No, don't feel bad!" Hange says quickly, squeezing your shoulder. "We miss you! We
wanted to come see you. Didn't we, Levi?"

They have a stare down with Levi, and you feel like there's a conversation that you're
missing. You raise your eyebrows in confusion. Eventually, Levi groans and swats at Hange
again. "Shut up, Four Eyes. Don't make Logan feel more important than she is."

You laugh. "You visit me after three months just to beat me up. Yeah, I feel important."

"Well, clearly, you've replaced us," Levi says with a snort.

You frown, confused, then realize he and Hange are staring at someone behind you. Not
someone- multiple people. Your usual table group is watching you with wide eyes. In fact,
several of them have a weird look in their eyes like they're seeing you for the last time.

Connie shouts, "blink twice if you're in danger!"

 "Nice knowing you!" Ymir calls.

"I'm not going to die!" you shout back, rolling your eyes.

"It looks like Captain Levi is going to stab you!" Eren exclaims.

The answer slips out of you before you even know what you're saying. "Wouldn't be the first
time!"

You spin back to face Levi again before you can see the damage. You hear it, though; you
think that's Connie and Sasha who screamed. "You're just a little shit disturber, aren't ya?"
Hange says gleefully, poking you with the handle of their spoon. "Look at you, stirring the
pot!"

"You're still a little shit," Levi says, and if you didn't know better, you'd say he almost
sounded... soft. Well, less strict than usual.

"Did I lie?" you challenge, biting into your food.

Hange freezes. "Wait, Levi actually stabbed you?"

"She returned the favor," Levi mutters.

Their eyes go wider than dinner plates. "What the hell, you two?"

Having an inside 'joke' sort of thing with Levi makes something flutter in your chest. You
laugh, grinning at Hange, and then glance at Levi. He's looking at you too, and when your
eyes lock, the corner of his mouth twitches.

It's not a smile, but in your eyes, he's never looked better.

So you smile back and dig back into your food, because even though Levi made a remark
about you replacing them, you both know there's no replacing whatever sort of messed up
friendship you two have.

Chapter End Notes

chapter 139 hurt so this is me pretending it doesn't exist. if y'all are coping the same way
(AKA with fanfiction), hello new best friend! we should make a therapy group.

the support you guys are giving me is phenomenal. thank you so much for well over 600
kudos and nearly 10,000 hits. I love you all so much. <3
 1-3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

After dinner, there's another lecture on titans. It's only an hour, but it's still far too long for
your liking. By the time it's done, you're exhausted. You're not even sure if the Survey Corps
are still here; Hange had mentioned a briefing with Shadis but you weren't sure how long that
would take.

You can't help but wander back to the mess hall, wondering if they'd really left without
saying goodbye. You don't want to overestimate your own importance, but it's unlikely that
they just left without saying anything.

Someone's in the mess hall, but it's not any of the scouts- it's one of the cadet instructors,
Wystan Baine. "Cadet Logan," he greets when he notices you. "What're you doing here?"

"Looking for the scouts, sir," you say, saluting him quickly. "Have they left?"

He frowns. "I'm not sure. But you should be headed to the barracks anyways."

You deflate, visibly disappointed. "Yes, sir."

You turn, and your brain is already turning its gears to concoct some sort of plan to snoop
around and see if they actually left when Baine calls your name again. You swivel back
towards him. "You used to be in the scouts, right?" he asks.

You purse your lips. Erwin said the instructors were informed about your situation, but none
of them have tried to address it besides Shadis's conversation with you earlier today. "Not that
I can remember," you say with a weak smile.

It's a lie, because you do remember. Isabel's terrified eyes and Farlan's final smile.

"Ah," Baine says, and he straightens up. "So your... your memory hasn't improved."

"No."

Not exactly a lie, but not really the truth, either. Although you haven't had any specific
memories return besides that vivid reminder of the deaths of your friends, you've been
picking up little things. Like how easy balancing in the vertical maneuvering gear is for you,
how naturally hand to hand combat comes. It's not memories, sure, but you're positive they're
skills you excelled in before coming above ground and joining the scouts.

"Alright," he continues, eyeing your warily. "Just wanted to make sure you wouldn't be trying
to scare any cadets off from future options."

By 'options', you know he means that he's worried about you saying the horrors outside the
walls and you'll scare anyone from wanting to join the Survey Corps.
You press your lips in a thin line. "No one knows about who I was before training," you say
firmly.

Baine nods. "Ah. Good, then. Dismissed, cadet. Get some rest."

You nod, saluting one last time, and pivot on your heel to march out the door. You take your
walk slow purposefully, hoping that you'll see Levi or Hange, and you're within sight of your
barracks and about to lose hope when someone calls your name.

You spin and grin madly when you see Hange. They jog towards you, grinning. "I thought
you left!" you say brightly, giving them a hug.

"Not without saying goodbye!" Hange replies, and your heart swells. "We're leaving soon,
though. Mason wanted a private word with Shadis, but we'll be out of here in, like, ten
minutes."

Mason must be one of the other scouts. "Where's Levi?"

"Probably cleaning the training equipment," they say, and you both nod knowingly. The
training equipment is never is great shape, and if Levi got a glimpse of it, he would definitely
disinfect the whole building. "Why?"

The words are posed on the tip of your tongue: you want to see him, you want to talk to him,
you just want to reconnect after three months. But if he's busy, then, well, he's busy. You
shake your head. "No reason."

Hange frowns like they don't believe you, then changes the subject. "What're you up to
tonight?"

You shrug. "I'll go back to the barracks. Climb on the roof, watch the stars. The usual."

"That sounds familiar." Before you have a chance to figure out what they're talking about,
Hange's eyes widen. "Wait- that reminds me! Uh, Levi wants to meet you! On a roof!"

You ignore how your heart rate picks up and dig your fingernails into your palms to calm
yourself down. "He- he does?" you say, trying not to bite your own tongue. "Why? What does
he want?"

They shrug. "No clue. What roof do you normally go up to?"

"Roof of my barracks," you reply, pointing at your building. "That one. How- how's he going
to get up there?"

Hange's eyes follow your finger, and then they nod. "Got it. I'll let him know. Don't worry, we
brought gear! Didn't know if Shadis wanted an ODM gear demo or not." They grab you in a
tight hug. "We'll be back soon! I don't know when, but maybe another month."

You hug them back. "Bye, Hange."

Hange skips off, humming some sort of tune under their breath, and you practically sprint
back to the barracks. When you get in, no one's asleep; people are playing card games or just
chatting, perched in other people's beds. Someone waves hi to you and you wave back, then
climb up the ladder to your bed.

There's a window next to your bed, which is what you've been using, and you've mostly been
trying to use it when everyone's asleep so that you don't draw attention to yourself. For the
most part, everyone seems wrapped up in their own conversations, so you open the window
and slip outside.

Using the windowsill and overhanging ridge for handholds, you clamber up the wall, making
sure to close the window before you get too far out of reach. It's a little bit windy tonight, but
not enough to make the temperature unbearable.

You pull yourself up on the roof and fall onto your back. The first stars have started to come
out, but other than that, it's mostly clear skies.

You only have to wait about two minutes before you hear the familiar whir of ODM gear.
You sit up and turn towards the sound as Levi lands gracefully on the roof, still dressed in his
grey shirt and pants from earlier but now wearing his green Survey Corps cloak.

"Well?" he asks, crossing his arms.

You raise an eyebrow. "Nice to see you too. Well, what?"

"Well, what do you want? Hange said you wanted to talk."

You blink. "Hange said you wanted to talk."

Silence ensues as you both digest what's going on.

Levi groans, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm going to kill them."

You snort. "So talking to me is such a chore now."

"No, but Hange didn't have to- they didn't have to set something up," Levi protests, glaring at
you. "Besides, if you wanted to talk to me, you could've come to me yourself-"

"Would you have said yes?" you counter. "You would've just brushed me off for trying small
talk and that would've been that."

"You didn't even try, how would you know?" he retorts, but his shoulders are starting to dip.

"Educated guess," you say with a roll of your eyes.

Levi snorts. "So training's taught you how to use your brain? About time."

You smile thinly. "No wonder you skipped it, I think your brain would've overloaded," you
mock.
His eyes flash, and you're wondering if maybe you've overstepped, but Levi still looks
relatively relaxed, so you assume he's okay. "Look, can we not argue, for once?" you say in
exasperation, waving a hand in the air. "Just- you know, sit out under the stars."

"Fine."

Levi tips his head back to look up at the sky. Your eyes linger on him for much too
long- c'mon, idiot, don't stare- and you look back up to the sky. There's still not that many
stars, but the ones that are out are bright.

You glance back at Levi and sigh. "Would it kill you to sit?"

He doesn't reply or even acknowledge you.

"So you're doing it just to spite me now," you say with a roll of your eyes. "Glad to see you
haven't changed."

"You have," he remarks.

You frown. "How so?"

Levi settles a hand on his hip, and glances at you quickly before looking back up at the stars.
"Your confidence," he says after a beat of silence. "You're moving better."

"Well, it turns out I'm actually good at this stuff," you say with a grin, thinking back to some
of your combat training sessions. "I wish- I wish you'd told me a bit more," you add when he
doesn't say anything else. "I mean, I understand. I get it. But, well..." you trail off. "Never
mind."

You hear a soft sigh. Then, Levi takes a few steps backwards and sits down on the roof next
to you. He pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his arms over them, then turns his head
sideways to look at you. "Fine," he says. "You win."

You blink. "What? What did I win?"

"You get three questions," Levi continues.

"Three questions about what?"

"Whatever you want."

"Wait- I can ask you stuff? About my past?" You grin. "Actually?"

"Yes and yes," he replies. "That's three questions. You're done."

"Hey!" you protest, glaring at him. "That's cheap! 'Actually' hardly counts as a question!"

Levi shoots you an irritated scowl. "Fine. You've got one question."

"Come on, at least two."

"Fine. Two questions. What you want to know?"

Oh, so many things. You want every little detail Levi can give you, everything he knows. But
you've only got two questions, so you've got to make them good. Ironically enough, every
single question that you've brainstormed seems to evaporate from your brain. Of course now's
the only time that I can't think of anything.

"Well?" Levi asks.

"Combat training," is the first thing that comes to mind. "How do- how do I know how to
fight- wait, how do we know how to fight?"

"The underground is kill or be killed. If you want to stay alive, you have to be able to fight."
Levi looks back to the stars. "Everyone picks up street skills at some point."

"So everyone from the underground is really good."

"No. But we are."

We. For some stupid reason, him using we instead of referring to you or him separately makes
your heart flutter.

"One more," Levi warns, like this is a chore for him.

The obvious one hovers at your tongue, but you're worried he's just going to give you a vague
answer. You study him, watching his form and how tense he is. Is he petty? You haven't
known him to be, but then again, how well do you really know him? You exhale, deciding to
trust that Levi won't jerk you around and he'll actually give you a decent answer.

"How'd we meet?" you ask quietly, lacing your fingers together.

"I was hired to steal something from one of the gang leaders underground," he says. The lack
of hesitation to answer your question almost startles you; he's being surprisingly open. You
don't want to say something wrong and ruin his good mood. "When I went to steal it, it was
gone. The people I was stealing from didn't even know it had been taken."

You grin. "I took it," you say. "Didn't I?"

He nods.

Laughter bubbles up in your throat. He shoots you a weird look and you swallow your
giggles. "So you tracked me down?"

Levi nods again. "Yeah."

"Is that when you stabbed me?"

"That's an extra question." He shifts so he's balanced on the balls of his feet. "I said three."
You're so close, literally sitting on the edge of a cliff, the answers right in front of you, and
this fucking asshole is going to tell you that you only get to ask three. "No, wait," you say
quickly, reaching for Levi's sleeve.

As soon as your fingers close around Levi's shirt, he grabs your wrist. You're confused for a
split second before he twists your arm and you yelp, falling sideways onto the roof. Levi
raises an eyebrow at you, unimpressed.

Fine then. Scowling, you grab him back, swinging yourself upwards and trying the same
move he pulled on you. It doesn't work- Levi's much physically stronger than you and he'd
been expecting it- so you slide your hands down to his wrist and twist.

He jerks sideways, like you'd intended, but Levi uses his momentum to pull you with him.
Much like your sparring match in the training grounds today, you go flying over Levi, and
your momentum sends you rolling to the edge of the roof.

Levi's grip tightens and he tugs you sharply back towards himself. He stops you from rolling,
leaving you at the edge of the roof, overlooking the fall down. Levi's grip on your wrist is
tight and is sending fire shooting through your veins.

"You were going to throw me off the roof," you say, turning your head to glare at him.

"You need better training," is all he says in reply. "You're going to get yourself killed."

You scowl, sitting yourself up and scooting away from the edge. Levi lets go of you and
backs himself up. "Well, I hardly think I'm going to be fighting anyone on rooftops any time
soon," you say with a roll of your eyes.

"You just did," Levi points out, "and you lost."

"I'll be fighting titans," you object, crossing your arms. "Not people."

"You think that's it? The only enemies are titans? You know how much shit we had to deal
with underground?" he retorts.

"No, I don't know," you reply icily, "because you won't tell me!"

"I just told you shit-"

"You barely told me anything!"

"Fine, I just won't tell you anything next time!" he snaps.

You shrink back. "No, that's..." you exhale, pressing your palms into your forehead. "I don't
want to fight with you," you mutter, avoiding his eyes. "It's just that... well-"

"I'm it," Levi says.

You blink. There's several ways you could interpret that. "You're what?"
"I'm the only connection you have," Levi continues, his eyes trained up at the stars. "And I..."
he trails off. You wait with baited breath. "I'm withholding information from you," he says,
and he finally meets your gaze. "So I get if you're pissed."

"Yeah, I'm pissed," you agree, and Levi's eyebrows rise. "But I always assumed you had your
reasons."

He shrugs. "I didn't."

You frown. "I don't believe that."

Levi thinks, then says, "no reasons that you'd accept."

Something personal, then. Something that didn't warrant Levi hiding everything from you but
still kept him from telling you regardless.

"If I promise not to ask about your reasons," you say carefully, "will you tell me everything?"

Levi's expression is unreadable. "You trust me to tell you everything?"

You ponder that for a moment. Do you? He could easily lie and you'd accept it without
hesitation because you've got no way of knowing otherwise.

But Levi's never given you a reason not to trust him (...besides not telling you anything about
the underground and who you used to be) and you've never known him to lie. Levi always
speaks bluntly; he says what he means and you can't recall him ever telling you something
that turned out to be false. Plus, he'd dropped everything to come save you months ago at the
farm. He might not tell you, but you know he cares.

"I trust you," you reply.

He stares at you for a while and you do your best not to drop his gaze. Eventually, his
shoulders roll back and he nods. "Alright."

"Okay," you agree, lacing your fingers together to keep yourself from fidgeting. "So you
stabbed me?"

"Yeah."

"How? Who stabbed who first?"

Levi's nose scrunches up, like he'd rather not remember. "I stabbed you," he says, eyes
flickering to you briefly. "I thought you'd stay down after that. You fucking lunged at me with
my damn knife still in your stomach."

You start to laugh, which is bizarre, because it's not a laughing matter at all. "And I got you,"
you say.

"Unfortunately."
"What happened after that?"

"Farlan wanted to recruit you. Said that we could finally take on one of the bigger jobs that
we'd been thinking of trying to do for a while. I said no. You were too unpredictable, too
smart, and you worked on your own. You'd be shit for team jobs."

"You didn't trust me."

Levi snorts. "You tried to kill me. How could I?"

"So what happened next?" you say eagerly, shifting closer to him.

He notices you moving, and you watch his shoulders rise slightly as he stiffens. You freeze
immediately, not wanting to push your luck. Levi tips his head towards you. "You sure you
want to know?" he asks.

In the moonlight, his grey eyes look silver.

You smile softly and nod. "Everything you're willing to tell me."

Levi holds your gaze for a moment, and maybe's it your imagination, but the corner of his
mouth twists slightly. "Fine. You asked for it."

And so he does. Levi tells you about how he had been considering Farlan's proposition until
you stole their ODM gear. There was a four month period where he stole it back from you,
then you managed to steal it back from him, and back and forth until you managed to steal
your own set and didn't need to take theirs anymore.

He tells you how he only agreed to work with you when you saved Isabel from a run in with
a gang- completely by coincidence. He tells you about how you clicked with Farlan and
Isabel immediately but he remained skeptical of you. He tells you about how the four of you
pulled off a huge job, and afterwards, they invited you to stay with them.

"So you never trusted me?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

Levi shakes his head. "Not for a second."

"Why?"

He considers his response for a minute, looking back up at the stars like they hold all the
answers. Your eyes drift across his face, admiring his jawline and his cheek bones.

"You were too good to be true," Levi says finally.

You don't have time to try and decipher what he means because there's a loud whistle that
draws your attention. Hange is off in the distance, waving to you from the ground. "Oi!" they
said. "We were supposed to leave ten minutes ago!"

Levi stands and tightens the straps of his ODM gear. You frown to yourself. "Do you never
say goodbye?" you ask, noticing the trend between your encounters with Levi.
"I don't like saying goodbye," he replies, walking down to the edge of the roof.

You straighten up. "How about 'see you soon'?"

He pauses, then turns to face you. A breeze ruffles his hair in front of his face. Levi's eyes
linger on you, and he murmurs, "fine. See you soon."

Levi steps off the roof and swoops away.

You watch his retreating back until he meets up with Hange. The two of them fall into step
and vanish from your line of sight.

You stare at the last spot you saw him for another few seconds, then let your eyes drift back
up to the sky.

"Hey," you say to the stars, a stupid smile spreading across your face. "I don't know who I
used to be, but..." you laugh. "I sound pretty cool."

He wonders if, by telling you everything from your past, he'll finally have some sort of inner
peace. Maybe that's why you're bothering him so much, because he's holding back
information he knows you desperately want.

So, in an effort to drive down the burning feeling in his chest, Levi tells you everything. The
short version, at least. It hurts something in his chest to talk about Isabel and Farlan, but
somehow, the eager look on your face counteracts the pain.

There's something in the way the moonlight reflects in your eyes that makes Levi want to
give you every little detail until the sun comes up.

It's a stupid feeling. He thought telling you everything would make himself feel better, and it
hasn't. Levi grits his teeth, wondering what's gotten into him and how he can destroy
whatever's eating at his heart.

"So you never trusted me," you ask.

No. You got along too well with Isabel and Farlan, you made a problematic mission look like
child's play, you picked up ODM gear so fast that he'd thought you were secretly military
police in disguise. "Not for a second," Levi replies.

"Why?"

He could give you his reasons, all your talents and how you were just too good. Or he could
tell you about how dangerously intoxicating you were, about how he was becoming attached
to you in a way unlike with Farlan and Isabel: in a way that would likely destroy him if he
couldn't control himself.

No. Levi relaxes his jaw, closing and opening his eyes. Those feelings don't exist
anymore- can't exist anymore. He'd squashed them down. For his own safety and your own.
 "You were too good to be true," Levi says finally.

And under the stars, with your wide eyes and the moon illuminating your hair, he knows
you are too good to be true, in so many more ways than one.

Chapter End Notes

hello my loves! <3

I was having a debate because I was like "is this really a slow burn? is this long enough
to wait for some sort of development?" until I read a couple fics where the reader and
Levi got together within three chapters. so I feel better about myself now.

don't worry though; you don't have to wait too much longer. I've already written a chunk
of chapter 20 'cause I'm excited for it. ;)

thank you so much for all of your support- nearly 700 kudos. I love you guys. <3
 1-4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"So... Captain Levi."

You stab your food with your fork hard enough to hear the awful sound it makes as it strikes
the plate. "As I've already confirmed ten times," you growl, "yes."

"Sorry," Eren says in disbelief, shaking his head. "It's just, when you said someone was
waiting for you..."

"We never thought it'd be Captain Levi," Armin finishes.

You shrug. "What's so bad about that?"

You're quickly discovering that Levi's got a reputation. It's not bad in any way, but all of the
cadets seem to idolize him. Despite Levi only being in the scouts for around two years, he's
already known as one of the best soldiers the Survey Corps has got, and with how quickly
he's climbed the ranks, the cadets seem to respect him well enough.

"It's Corporal Levi!" Connie squeaks, gesturing widely with his arms and nearly smacking
Marco off of his seat.

You set your jaw. "And?"

"He's- he's humanity's strongest," Sasha says between mouthfuls of her food- or maybe it's
Connie's food. "He's terrifying."

Ymir snorts. "Never thought he'd be so short."

"Don't let him hear you say that," you warn.

"How'd you meet him?" Krista asks, leaning closer towards you.

You chuckle. "Don't really remember."

All other conversation around you falls quiet. You glance up from your plate to see almost a
dozen sets of eyes on you. You quirk an eyebrow.

"Aw, c'mon!" Jean says, smacking your shoulder. "Just tell us!"

The situation is laughable. Although Levi's sort of told you how the two of you came to be
acquaintances, you truly don't remember it, so is it even a lie? "Honestly," you say with a roll
of your eyes. You grab your cup to bring it to your lips for an excuse to stop talking. "I
don't..."
Something pulses at the forefront of your brain.

Hiding under a table. Screams. Blood spilling, flowing freely through your fingers.

There's a clatter that blinks you out of your stupor. You blink, refocusing your vision; your
cup had fallen from your hand. The water inside has spilled, dripping off the table and into
your lap.

"You okay?" Eren asks as Mikasa grabs the cup and sets it back upright.

It takes you a second, but you nod. "Yeah, sorry." Everyone is still staring at you, so you
force a sheepish grin. "Good thing there wasn't much water left. Excuse me."

You stand up from the table, desperate to excuse yourself, and try not to jog to the bathroom.

Whatever sort of memory that was, you haven't had anything like that in months, and it's
disturbing. You can't shake that vision from your head, even though it barely qualified as
such: it felt more like flashes. Glimpses.

You hide it in the back of your brain. Maybe you can ask Levi about it when you see him
next- whenever that is.

And for the most part, you're fine. You ignore the vision- vision, memory, whatever it was-
and keep up with your training, eager to prove yourself for whenever Levi comes back again.
The only nagging thing is the headaches. Sometimes, your head feels like someone is trying
to split it open from the front.

Sparring has slowly transitioned from practiced techniques to a bit more of a free-for-all,
which has become one of the highlights of your day. You love watching your opponent,
trying to guess what they'll do next and figuring out what you can do to anticipate it. You
whip out several moves on accident that you didn't know you knew how to do. Sparring is the
only way for you to draw out your full potential, your full arsenal of what you can do.

Things start getting nasty when you spar with Reiner Braun.

Personally, he's one of your favorite sparring partners: he's built like an ox, for one thing,
which always makes it a bit of a challenge, but he moves like he's been training all his life.
Sparring with him is interesting.

Outside of sparring, he's a good guy. You've seen him help pick up after some of the weaker
recruits, helping them with drills. He hangs out constantly with another guy... Bert?
Something like that. It doesn't look like there's anyone he doesn't get along with.

"Going to try and kick my ass again, Logan?" Reiner jokes as he holds up the wooden knife.

"Try?" you joke. "I'm going to."

He grins. "Alright, have at it."

Reiner lunges, and you shoot backwards, shoving your hands down against his forearm. He
pushes up against your hands, so you sidestep, letting him raise his arm. You drive your
elbow into his ribcage- not hard enough to hurt, but enough that Reiner winces and shuffles
back.

The shuffle is enough. You close your hands around his hand, the one holding the knife, and
pivot, whipping him sideways. Reiner's lack of balance sends him crashing to the ground, and
you disarm him as fast as you can.

"You do something different every time," the blond remarks, rubbing his side.

You offer him a hand up, and he takes it. "Trying to keep it interesting."

"Your turn, then?" You nod, backing up to give him space and readying the knife in your
hands. Reiner raises his arms into some sort of fighting stance. "Alright. Come on."

You flip the knife in your hand, holding it backhanded (how Levi likes to) and slash. Reiner
dodges to your bad side, where you can't see him because of the eye patch, and you try to get
him on the backswing. He blocks your arm and reaches to grab your wrist, securing the hand
with the knife, but you let go and reach out with your other hand. The knife drops from the
hand Reiner's holding onto and you snatch it out of the air with your free hand.

Before you can swing, Reiner's foot rises and plants itself in your ribcage. He kicks out, and
you stumble backwards, falling onto the ground.

"I hate it when you do that," he grumbles good-naturedly.

You grin sheepishly, switching your knife back to your dominant hand. "Hey, you're the one
who went to my blind side. And you kick like a horse."

Reiner reaches a hand out. "Still didn't disarm you though."

You're about to reach out for Reiner's hand when pain shoots to the front of your skull like a
lightning strike.

He's reaching for you, he's going to kill you, stab him, stab him before he-

You jerk back so fast that it's like someone pulled you with a rope. Your vision goes blurry
and suddenly Reiner is replaced by someone taller, thinner, and he's reaching for you, he's got
a fucking knife in his hand and he's going to kill you-

Frantically, you swing your hand up in an arc, the wooden knife flashing through the air. You
feel yourself make contact, and what drags you back to reality is Reiner's cry of "hey! What
the hell?"

You blink yourself out of your stupor. Reiner's pulled his hand into his chest, but he doesn't
look angry. More... curious.

"Logan, you good?" he asks, frowning.

You realize you're still holding the knife up, pointing it at him. "Sorry!" you exclaim, the
wooden tool falling out of your hand and clattering to the ground. "Shit, Reiner, sorry, I don't
know what that was."

You scramble up to your feet, suddenly aware that there's a few other sets of eyes watching
you. "No problem," he replies, shaking out his hand. "You could've just told me you didn't
want help."

"No, it wasn't that," you protest, reaching down to the ground to pick up the knife. You
glance sideways; Eren and Armin have stopped practicing, and they're staring at you. "Let's
just- let's just go again, okay?" you say desperately, tightening your grip around the knife.
"I'll try not to switch hands this time."

"No, it's a good challenge," Reiner objects, but he's smiling again so it seems all is fine.
"Alright. Come at me, Logan."

So you do, ignoring the many sets of eyes drilling holes into the back of your head.

Levi's visit comes a few weeks later, which you've been desperately anticipating since you
last saw him.

Shadis gives you the date that Levi's coming, and you spend the days beforehand wringing
your fingers in anticipation, wondering what he's going to teach you- if he's going to teach
you anything. Maybe he's just going to beat you into the ground for a few hours and call it a
day. You wouldn't put it past him.

Shadis catches you at lunch in the mess hall. "Your first private lesson will be during your
afternoon classroom instruction," he tells you. "Report to the equipment shed instead."

"I'll meet Levi there?" you clarify.

"You'll meet Corporal Levi there, yes," Shadis says with furrowed eyebrows. Apparently, he's
got a thing for respecting authority. "You'll miss your class, so if I see you're falling behind in
your training, I'll stop these."

You meet his eyes. "There'll be no need for that. Sir."

He doesn't seem convinced, but he nods.

You don't tell your friends that you're missing class. You slip away easily- sometimes your
stealth surprises even you- and head to the equipment shed, fists clenched, body rigid in
anticipation.

When you round a corner, putting the equipment shed in sight, you can see Levi and Hange.
Levi's dressed in full gear, harnesses and all. Hange is fussing over another harness that
seems much too tangled to be deemed usable.

Hange sees you first. They grin. "You're here!"

"You're late," Levi remarks, tightening one of his straps.

"I'm not late," you protest, jogging over to them. Hange greets you with a hug, which you
happily return before you address what they've got in their hands. "Is that another harness?
Are you getting ready too?"

"Nah, this is for you!" Hange chirps brightly.

You blink. "What?"

"We're flying today," Levi says, meeting your eyes. Your jaw slips open. "Get dressed."

"But- But I-" you gawk, eyes trailing after Levi as he strides by you, going to clip in some of
the gas canisters. "Wait, we're- I've never tried this!" you protest, head swiveling from Levi to
Hange, who's regarding your situation with a wide grin on their face. "We're not supposed to
actually be trying the gear for at least another few months, not until we're a year into training-
"

"We're starting now," he replies calmly. "Suit up."

"But I don't know how!" you insist.

Levi turns on you, his gaze sharp. "Weren't you the one insisting that you knew how to do
this literally six months after waking up from a coma?" he asks dryly.

You glare at him. "That's different."

"Oh, really."

"Yes, really!" You turn to Hange, looking for support, but they look like they're enjoying your
bickering. "No help from you?" you say in exasperation.

Hange grins. "Nah, I want to see you crash into a tree."

"Wow, thanks." You turn back on Levi. "Before, I was just looking to remember something.
Now, I- I've been perfecting balancing, I've been reading the theories, I need all this training-
"

"According to Shadis, you perfected balancing within a day," Levi deadpans.

"And you sleep through all the ODM gear classes, yet still get perfect marks on the tests,"
Hange adds.

You throw your hands in the air. "You're ganging up on me!"

"Yep," they say happily, holding out the harness in their hands. "Come here! I'll help you get
this on."

You sigh, and you finally give in. You hold your arms out, and Hange helps you pull the top
harness around your arms, then helps you step into the bottom part. With Hange's help, you
manage to get all of your harnesses strapped on and tightened before Levi lugs over the gear-
namely, the gas canisters and the blades.

You slip it all on like you've done it a dozen times before, mildly surprised that the gear is as
heavy as it is. Obviously, they'd talked about it in class, but having it sit on your hips makes it
so much more real.

"Ready?" Levi asks.

You sigh. "No." You crane your neck over your shoulder, trying to glare at some of your
straps. "But I'll figure it out."

Levi moves to you, and you feel his fingers touch your back. Immediately, you stiffen up. His
hands grab onto your harness straps, and you feel him tighten all of them. His touch is firm,
and when his hand moves over your waist, you turn your head to look at him.

His head is tipped downwards, focused on his work. He's just checking your harness, you tell
yourself, swallowing hard.

He tugs, and you nearly yelp as the strap goes tighter around your thigh. "There," he says
calmly, meeting your eyes. "You're good."

"I'm good," you squeak out, nodding.

Hange snorts. "I'd bet you are. Have fun, you two!"

You don't even get time to respond. Levi starts heading towards the training course that you
often see the 102nd and 103rd squad on: just a basic set of buildings and structures that make
it easy to use the gear. You jog to keep up with him, the gear weighing down on your hips.

You try to study the terrain. You've seen some of the trainees going through it, shooting
grapples into buildings and roofs and swinging leisurely around the mock streets. They make
it look so easy.

Without a word, Levi jumps and takes off. Others make it look easy, sure, but Levi's the only
one you've ever seen that looks graceful. There's an art to his movements; nothing is wasted.
He's sharp, his twists and turns are effortless, and he never wastes his gas. He's not textbook
definition perfect- somehow, he's even better. He doesn't move like how the instructors have
talked about in class. He moves better, faster, sharper. He's adapted it to his liking.

When Levi lands, you can't help but stare at him with your jaw slack. "I'm- I'm supposed to
do that?"

Levi raises an eyebrow at you. He crosses his arms. "Get on with it."

You swallow the lump in your throat, lifting your eyes to scan the buildings. You try to
picture Levi in your mind, the route he took, where he moved and when to release the
grapples and when to let himself fall and-

"Oi."
You glance up at Levi.

Your eyes must betray your worry, because Levi sighs and looks dangerously close to rolling
his eyes. "You're going to be fine," he says dryly. "You're good at this shit. You're not going
to get hurt."

"I'm not worried about injury," you say truthfully, rubbing the back of your head with one
hand. "I'm- I'm not worried about falling, or getting hurt. I'm worried that I'm..." your voice
drops. "That I'm not going to be as good as you expect me to."

Levi doesn't reply. You don't meet his eyes.

"I was hoping I could at least get a couple training sessions in before I tried this with you,"
you add honestly. "Because that way, I could get a feel for it first."

"You don't want to fail on your first try," he says.

You shrug, finally meeting his eyes. "It's not even that," you say. "I just don't want to fail in
front of you."

"Why not?"

"Because- well, from what you told me, I used to be really good, and I don't want to..." let
you down. The words die on your tongue.

Levi seems to understand what you're trying to say, judging from the tilt of his head and the
slump of his shoulders. The silence that follows is sort of awkward, and you look away,
unable to hold his gaze.

You flinch in surprise when icy fingertips touch your cheek.

You spin to Levi, confused. Levi's eyes are glued to your eyepatch, and you blink at him,
waiting to see what he's trying to do. His fingers slip under the strap and he pulls it away,
gathering your eyepatch into his hand.

"You'll need both eyes," he remarks.

Your throat feels painfully dry. You can still feel his fingers on your face.

Levi's eyebrows knit together. "You can see out of it now, right?"

Slowly, you blink your eye open. It takes a minute for you to adjust to the light, and you try
to focus on Levi's face. The sharpness of his eyes, the curve of his mouth. He raises an
eyebrow, and you nod.

"Then why do you keep it on?"

"The scar's sort of ugly," you reply.

Levi snorts, and he crosses his arms. "For the record, when you stole this from me the first
time, you put it on and escaped with it," he says quietly. "And from what I know, it was your
first time wearing gear."

Your eyes widen. "Really?"

"See for yourself."

You nod and turn back to the course, remembering the turns Levi made. How high do you
go? Is it easier to go high or low? How wide should you take the turns? Could you spin? Levi
does spins.

There's a groan. "For fuck's sake, stop thinking about it and just do it," Levi snaps.

You glare at him, flip him off, then shoot your hooks into the nearest building and go.

The second your feet leave the ground, intuition rushes through you like a drug. You know
exactly what to do. You release your grapples and hook them into one of the taller structures,
propelling yourself up into the air. As soon as you've got enough momentum, you let both of
your hooks go, leaving you free in the air.

It's exhilarating. Laughter erupts from your chest. It feels like you hover midair for a moment
before your body starts to plummet back to the ground- but you're not worried. You shoot one
of your grapples into a wall and let yourself swing, so close to the ground that you can kick it
if you want to.

Holding onto Levi's back for dear life wasn't the same, not in that forest over a year ago.
Being in control, flying through the air like it's a second nature, like you're meant to be in the
sky. This is freedom. It's the best feeling in the world.

You finish your lap of the course, and then you take another. ODM gear feels like a joke,
after all of the intense studying and balance practice that the instructors have made you do;
you'd never expected it to be this easy.

"Yeah, Logan!" you hear Hange whoop enthusiastically. "You're a natural!"

You laugh, swinging up and around one of the structures, heading in for your second lap. You
leave all of your worries on the ground- the bizarre visions, the headaches, training, Levi- and
let the wind whistle by your ears, zipping leisurely around one of the last corners.

When you finally land, you're grinning from ear to ear and your face aches from smiling.
Touching down on the ground is sort of weird; you almost stumble. "That was amazing," you
say giddily, jogging over to Hange and Levi.

"You're so good!" Hange compliments. "Are you sure you don't remember anything about
that? Because that was awesome!"

"I don't," you say honestly, pressing your palms into your cheeks. You glance at Levi, eyes
wide. "How'd I do?" you say eagerly.
Levi's expression is unreadable. "That was a huge waste of gas," he remarks, and your
shoulders immediately drop. "You're way too loopy around the turns and you fly much higher
than you need to. Your control is good but it's not efficient."

"Leave her alone, she was having fun in the air," Hange scolds, and they ruffle your hair.
"I've got a couple different tests that I was thinking about doing-"

"No," Levi interrupts, cutting them off. "Do it again. Better turns this time."

You roll your eyes. Of course Levi is all business. It doesn't matter, though; you'd do
anything for another chance in the air.

"Yes, sir," you say, and before Levi can say anything else, you shoot your grapples into the
nearest building and rocket away.

You put more effort into tightening up the turns. Sure, it's not as sharp and precise as Levi,
but it's better. And Levi's right- this is meant for combat, for fighting titans, not for having
fun.

You twist around one of the final corners, swooping low to the ground, and your mind goes
blank.

Someone's in the way, cutting you off-

You yelp in surprise and drop your hooks. It's too late to redirect any momentum, and you
sail straight into one of the walls. Thankfully, it's wooden, so when you fall into it, it doesn't
hurt as much as it would've if it was brick. Pain shoots up your shoulder, and you slump to
the ground, your head reeling.

"Fuck," you scowl to yourself, wincing and rolling your shoulder. It hurts, sure, but it doesn't
feel like anything is broken. You glance at the direction you should've gone in: there's no one
there. You frown. Did they slink away, or did you imagine it?

"Logan!" you hear Hange shout, and you see them at the starting point, jogging towards you.
"You okay?"

You don't get a chance to reply, because Levi drops out of the air, right in front of you. He
used his ODM gear. "What the hell?" he asks calmly, crouching down next to you.

"There was- there was a person," you protest, pointing with your good arm.

Levi follows your pointed finger, then turns back to you. "We're the only ones here."

"I swear," you insist, sitting up straight.

Hange finally makes it over to you. "What happened?" they ask, and you recount what you
told Levi to Hange. They frown, straightening up. Hange jogs down in the direction you
pointed in, glancing around and even poking their head into some of the mock buildings. "I
don't see anyone," they call, jogging back to you.
You've got a pulsing migraine. Shit, this hurts. "Someone was there," you insist feebly,
pressing a hand to your temple. "Or I just..."

Fuck. Another vision? Now?

Levi must see the realization on your face. "What?"

You debate lying, but these two are your best friends, and you need to talk to someone about
what the hell's going on with your head. "I think it was a memory," you mutter, feeling
awfully foolish. "Maybe. I've had a couple lately."

Hange crosses their arms. "Really? About what?"

"I don't know," you say with a pathetic shrug. "The- the first one was just at the dinner table,
the day after you two left. I was... I was under a table? And my hands were bloody?"

Levi exchanges a glance with Hange, then turns back to you. "Doesn't ring any bells," he
replies. "Could be from before we met."

"That was the first one?" Hange asks. "There were more?"

"One while I was sparring," you say, squeezing your eyes shut in a vain attempt to subside
the ridiculously painful headache that's raging in your skull. "I was... I think I was on the
ground, holding a knife- we were sparring with knives, it was with Reiner- and he reached to
help me up, but then it- it wasn't him? It was some other man, reaching for me, and I wanted
to stab him."

"You wanted to stab him?" they repeat.

You nod, biting your lip.

"Is this Reiner dude that nasty?" Hange asks, trying make some sort of light joke.

Levi stands up. "And what was that, just now?"

"I turned a corner, and someone was right there, coming at me," you say, pointing at where
you'd seen the person. "I swear. I think they were using ODM gear."

"That could be the day we got captured," he says, and you jerk your head up. "By the Survey
Corps. Taken above ground."

"Oh." You sigh, then press both hands to your head. "Fuck, this hurts."

"Headache?" Hange asks sympathetically, and you nod. They hold out a hand, and you take
it. "Ouch. Those always come up when you have a memory?"

You nod. "Yeah, more or less."

You glance at Levi, and he's watching you with his arms crossed. You raise an eyebrow at
him, wondering what's going on in his head. "Come on," he finally says, turning back to the
direction of the equipment shed.

You frown. "Where're we going?"

"I'm going to beat the headache out of you."

You grin. Sparring.

"That's not how headaches work, Levi!" Hange calls, jogging to catch up to him. "You can't
just beat them out of someone!"

"He could try," you joke, moving to walk on Levi's other side. "I wouldn't mind sparring,
though."

Hange sighs, rolling their eyes. "Then I'll supervise and make sure you don't kill each other.
Oh! And I'll take notes."

"Deal," you say brightly. You turn to Levi. "Can I have my eyepatch back?"

Levi casts his eyes sideways, frowning at you. "Why? You don't need it."

"Well..." you trail off. Your eye is healed, true. You don't have any need for it anymore.
"Well, not everyone's seen my scar," you say. It's a large, ugly thing that drags from just
beyond your eyebrow to the top of your cheekbone. "It's a bit revolting."

"If they really think it's revolting, then they're wimps," Levi says without hesitation. "It's a
battle scar. It suits you."

It suits you.

It's embarrassing how quickly you feel heat rush to your cheeks. It's not even a huge
compliment- but it's from Levi. You snap your jaw shut and force yourself to nod.

"Aw, was that a compliment?" Hange coos, reaching to grab Levi's shoulders.

He evades, ducking to your other side. "Fuck off, Four Eyes."

"You can't escape me forever!" they insist, and you scramble out of the way as they lunge for
Levi.

There's the familiar whirring of gears as Levi shoots his hooks forward, and he propels
himself away as Hange lunges. They end up swatting at open air, and Levi is long gone,
soaring through the air.

You laugh as Hange protests, "no fair!"

"See you soon, Hange," you say with a grin.

"Hey!"

You launch your grapples forward and zoom after Levi, grinning wildly.
Chapter End Notes

Happy Friday my loves! <3

Thank you so much for all of the support, it means the world. Hope you're all staying
safe and healthy!
 1-5
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Sparring with Levi sucks.

It's difficult, going from being the top of your class and able to match anyone they put you
against to being absolute shit when working with Levi. He's better than you in literally every
regard: he's faster, stronger, smarter. Well, he's humanity's strongest, supposedly- he has to
be. Doesn't mean you have to like it.

Once Levi's dumped you on your ass for the tenth time, you groan. "It's hardly sparring if it's
so one sided," you complain, shoving yourself up to your feet.

"Then get better at it," is Levi's only response.

"Teach me something, then," you demand, bringing your hands up to a fighting position.

"You got this, Logan!" Hange cheers from the sideline.

You shoot them a glare. "You want to get in here, then?"

Levi charges at you, and before you can blink, he's got your arm in his hands, his back to you,
and his feet between yours. Levi whips you over his shoulder and all of the air is slammed
out of your lungs when you hit the ground.

"Lesson one," he says calmly, pressing his knee into your rib cage, "don't get distracted."

"Sorry!" Hange calls.

Levi's head turns to glare at them, and you use Levi's temporary change in focus to make
your move. You kick up with your foot and twist on the ground, bringing your boot into
Levi's side. You manage to scramble up to your knees. "Like that?" you taunt, shaking your
arm from his grip.

"No," Levi replies, and he knocks you onto your back again with a knee to your sternum. You
groan as you hit the ground. "Not even close."

"She almost got you!" Hange says from the other side of the sparring barn.

"No, she didn't," Levi disagrees, standing up and letting you go. With a sigh, you drag
yourself to your feet. "Lesson two, don't be cocky."

You roll your eyes. "I wasn't being cocky. One of these days, I'll catch you off guard."

He snorts. "Yeah, like you could ever make that happen."

"I can, and I will," you promise.

Spoiler alert? You don't.

Training seems to fly by. Levi and Hange come by sporadically- sometimes there's only a
week between their visits, other times it's a month or two. But each visit, you always make
sure to get some sparring time in with Levi. You're getting better- moving faster, smarter
decisions- but Levi still bests you every time.

But every time, Levi spares a few minutes in the evening to sit with you on a roof. It's
become your 'thing', you suppose. Sitting and watching the stars, even if it's only for a
minute.

On the first night- the day you'd tried ODM gear for the first time- Levi had actually asked
you after your sparring session. "Roof?" he'd suggested.

Your jaw had dropped. "Did you hit me in the head too hard, or did I just hear you say roof?"

Levi had immediately turned around. "Never mind."

"Wait, wait, I'm joking!" you'd protested, grabbing his arm. For once, he didn't shake you off.
"Yes. That'd be great."

That first night had been when Levi asked you more about your memories, the things that had
been showing up in bits and pieces. You'd repeated everything you knew, trying to wrack
your brain for any other solution. Levi's theory as to why these visions were showing up now
is because he'd unloaded a lot of your past on you a month ago.

It made sense, honestly. You hadn't had any sort of memories before that, not until Levi gave
you several pieces that you'd been trying to organize in your head.

Regardless, you wanted more. More information, more pieces. You didn't mind these visions,
not if they helped you learn more. The only downside to them were the headaches that
followed. Nothing you couldn't deal with.

And so, the schedule keeps going. Levi and Hange show up every once in a while, you train
with them, stargaze with Levi in the evenings, and then they leave.

"Why do you keep skipping classes?" Marco asks you one day in the mess hall.

Jean groans. "Yeah, if any of us ever skipped, Shadis would have us running laps until we
died."

"Not fun," Sasha mutters.

You roll your eyes. "I'm not skipping class. I'm- I'm meeting up with a doctor," you lie. "For
my eye. It's- well, it's almost totally healed."

"Well, you don't wear the eye patch anymore. Looks good to me," Eren says.
"There's a massive scar, dimwit, that hardly qualifies as good," Jean shoots.

"Maybe you've said this before," someone says from a faraway table, and your group turns to
look at Reiner, sitting with his friend- Bertolt. "But how'd you get that?"

"Fighting titans," you reply honestly.

"That's what you told us the first time," Armin says, eyes wide with curiosity. You regard him
warily- if anyone was going to catch on to anything about your amnesia or history with the
Corps, it'd be him.

"Well, obviously, she's joking," Jean says with a snort. "None of us have fought titans before.
And I never intend to. I'm going to the interior."

"We know, Jean," Sasha says with a roll of her eyes.

Connie leans against his partner in crime. "It's not like you talk about it every minute of every
day-"

"Shut up, Connie."

Reiner clears his throat, and everyone looks back to him. "So how'd you actually get it?"

You debate your response. "A really nasty rock," you say carefully. It's the truth, after all. "I
fell."

"A rock did that?" Eren says in disbelief.

"Rocks can be dangerous, Eren," Mikasa murmurs.

"Well, all worked out, and I can see again," you say, and you loop back around to the
previous question. "It's why I miss class sometimes. Just getting it checked."

There's a hum across the table, and your shoulders slump in relief. They bought it. You're
good.

"Say, Logan," Armin says, "what did you do before the training corps?"

You have to resist the urge to throw something at him. Why the hell does Armin ask all of the
worst questions? "I, uh," you say, wondering what to say, until you decide to just say fuck
it and go with the truth. "I was a thief?"

"A thief?" Connie says in surprise. "What'd you steal?"

Oh, you're so glad he asked. "Your fork," you say casually, holding up the utensil.

The kid's eyes bug out of his head, and he whips his neck down to look around his plate.
"Hey!" he protests once he realizes his cutlery isn't there. "You took my fork!"
In actuality, you saw him bump it onto the ground by accident with his elbow. You'd slid it to
yourself under the table using your boot. Smirking, you toss it back to him. "Yep."

"When'd you snag that?" Eren asks in disbelief.

"Same time I took Jean's," you reply.

The brunet immediately snatches his fork, panic evident in his eyes. "No, I have mine!"

You grin. "I know. Just messing with you." With the opening made, you turn to Eren.
"Excited to start actually doing the ODM gear training tomorrow?"

Eren's eyes light up, and he immediately launches into a rant about how excited he is and
what maneuvers he wants to try. You smile to yourself, happy for the conversation change,
and go back to eating your dinner.

You can feel someone staring at you, and you glance up from your meal. Armin's wide blue
eyes are set on you, but as soon as he notices you staring back at him, he looks down at his
meal.

Frowning to yourself, you push your doubts to the back of your brain and instead focus on
your friends.

One of the highlights of training is watching everyone try the ODM gear for the first time.

Because it's completely catastrophic.

Shadis takes the group to the same basic training course that Levi started you out on; plenty
of high structures and easy ways to turn. Everyone is hitting walls, missing their hook points,
falling face first into the ground.

Obviously, there's some people that get the hang of it right away. Mikasa uses the gear like
she's been training with it her whole life, swooping leisurely around the buildings like it's just
another day. Reiner and Bertolt pick it up easy enough, and there's another blonde girl that
does it all while looking bored.

A lot of the 104th seem too nervous to go up in the air the first time around. It takes a lot of
yelling from Shadis, but the nervous teenagers eventually take off into the air, and it's not
pretty.

"Aren't you going to go, Logan?" Eren calls as he picks himself up off the ground for the
nineteenth time.

You shrug. "I like watching."

"She's just scared!" Jean calls.

"Says the one who can't do more than one hook at a time!" you shout back.
Jean flushes, scowling. In his defense, that's what most of the trainees are doing: shooting
grapples into one structure, swinging up to it, and dropping down. Getting multiple swings in
takes practice- probably. You wouldn't know.

"Let's see you do it, then," he yells. "If you're so good at it."

"Don't want to show you up," you yell back.

"You chicken?" Jean taunts.

You sigh to yourself, then aim your hooks into the tower right next to Jean's head. With a
giant push off of the ground, you fly up to the roof Jean's on, then let your body drop as you
release your grapples and instead aim them into a different tower, rocketing in a different
direction.

You land perfectly on the faraway roof, then turn back. Jean's staring at you with a dropped
jaw. "What the heck?" he demands. "How'd you do that?"

You point at the gear on your waist and raise an eyebrow at him.

"That's not what I meant!"

Two sharp whistle blasts echo from the starting point- the signal to return. You watch most of
the trainees clamber down the buildings and run the distance. Some are choosing to return via
the ODM gear (with varying degrees of success). You don't want your extra training sessions
with Levi to stand out, so you scale the side of the building until your feet touch down and
start the jog back to Shadis.

Some people are naturally good, sure. Mikasa's a natural, and there's a few others that don't
seem to have any qualms with it. But you've been doing this for a while now and (thanks to
Levi's help) you know several sharp maneuvers that Shadis hasn't even talked about in class
yet.

You're not about to go show off. Showing off would lead to people questioning how you
learned what you know, then you'd have to say extra training with Levi, and that would just
lead to more unnecessary questions: why you, how come you got to skip classes for training
and no one else did. Nothing you were overly inclined to answer.

"Alright, maggots!" Shadis shouts. "You've been studying this for a year and perfecting your
balancing, so I expect that everyone's able to get into the air! No one leaves today until they
can make it to the tallest tower and back!"

You, along with several others, turn to look back at the course. At the back of the training
area is a tall, brick tower with a large open platform on top. Standing on top of the building is
another instructor- they're so far away that you can't tell who it is.

"And I don't care if I have to keep you here until the sun comes up tomorrow," he snaps.
"Understood?"

"Understood!" you say with the rest of the cadets, many of whom look awfully queasy.
"First line!" Shadis shouts, and everyone scampers back from the starting point. "I need eight
people to step up!"

No one moves.

His bushy eyebrows knit together. "No volunteers? Then I'll pick myself." He pulls up his
clipboard- you wonder what he's been writing down. Shadis starts rattling off names, and you
see people moving towards the line. Your eyes widen in realization when you see the
connection between the people he's called; they're all good with their gear. He's picked people
who have picked it up quickly. Maybe to try and show the nervous ones that there's nothing
to be scared of.

"Ackerman," Shadis calls, and you see Mikasa head to the line. "And Logan."

You swallow. How should you play this?

You move to the starting line with the others. The bored-looking blonde girl is here, as are
Sasha, Marco, and Reiner. You frown at the other two, unsure of their names. You glance
back at Shadis, and his eyes are narrowed at you.

Turning back around, you make up your mind. You'll stay just behind Mikasa- maybe catch
up to her at the end. So that way, it won't look like you're a level above everyone else.
Because as good as Mikasa is, she's still a beginner; she doesn't know a lot of the tricks you
do. You've been at this for a while now. She'll be a good person to follow.

Shadis blows his whistle, and you shoot your hooks forward and let your feet leave the
ground. The eight of you fly forwards, swooping from building to building. There's a few that
have to stop on a rooftop every now and then to regain their balance, but otherwise, the
whole group is pretty good.

You're the third one to the tower, just after Mikasa and Reiner, and you use your feet on the
wall to push off and follow them back. Casually, you swoop past Reiner, and you end up
touching down at the same time as Mikasa, stumbling slightly on your landing.

The two of you get several murmurs of awe, and several trainees actually applaud. "Good
job," you murmur to Mikasa, and she nods back at you.

"That's it?"

Your blood runs cold. You look up at Shadis; he's talking to you. "Excuse me, sir?" you ask.

Shadis's glare is fierce. "That's the best you've got, Logan?"

Your mouth feels dry. You glance at Mikasa, who looks surprised that you're getting berated,
considering the two of you finished at the same time. You force yourself to salute. "No, sir."

"I hope not," he snaps, "because if that's the best results after nearly a year of personal
training with Corporal Levi himself, then clearly it was a waste of time."
You straighten up. There's a chorus of murmurs. Shadis just told everyone what you thought
you were supposed to keep hidden. "With all due respect, sir," you say through gritted teeth,
"I thought that was classified information."

Shadis doesn't reply to your statement. Instead, all he says is, "disappointing."

Your blood boils. Disappointing? You'd been purposely taking it easy, trying to hide your
advanced skills- you weren't aware you were supposed to show off. Your fingernails pinch
into your palm from how tight your fist is in your salute. All of the cadets are staring at you,
some in wonder, some in fear.

Fuck this.

Feeling ridiculously spiteful, you drop your salute and march back to the starting point,
pushing back a few cadets that are in your way. By now, everyone in the first group has
completed the course, so it's empty. You stop in front of the starting line and turn back to
glare at Shadis.

"Permission to reattempt, sir," you say icily.

"Permission denied," Shadis says calmly.

Denied?! He's going to yell at you in front of everyone for something you thought you did
right, only to deny you a chance to try again? Oh, fuck this. How can he- how can he be so
demeaning?

Fuck it.

You shoot your hooks into the closest tower and jump.

Wind whistling in your ears, you rocket through the course faster than you've ever gone
before. You don't stop for rooftops, not even when it feels like your body is horizontal to the
ground. You launch yourself forward, swooping low enough that you can reach down to
touch the dirt if you wanted to.

When you approach the tower, you redirect your momentum and kick off the ground, going
almost entirely vertical. You still have some horizontal momentum, which helps propel you
to the tower, and you launch yourself up above it.

The man in the tower looks up at you, gaping. You meet his eyes; it's Baine, one of the other
instructors. "What the-"

You don't hear him finish. You let your body drop down, plant your boots into the wall, and
push off. Your grapples can barely keep up with your momentum, especially since you're
going almost entirely in a flat line. You rocket over the rooftops, the finish line in your sights.

When you get close enough, you return your hooks to their resting place on your hips and let
yourself freefall through the air before you land. Your momentum carries you forward, and
you tuck into a front roll before popping to your feet, your boots positioned directly on the
finish line.
Every cadet is staring at you, but you only have eyes for Shadis.

"Logan," he says firmly, "you disobeyed a direct order."

"Yes, sir," you agree, straightening up and saluting.

"Why?"

"I couldn't let you talk bad about Le- Corporal Levi's training, sir."

Shadis looks like he's trying to be mad, but you can see that he's impressed. You keep your
eyes locked on him, refusing to look at any of your fellow trainees.

Eventually, he utters, "laps. Until dusk."

"Yes, sir."

You undo your harnesses, drop your gear to the ground, and break into a jog, ignoring the
eyes drilling into the back of your head.

Levi comes by a few days later. The training is relatively the same; he shows you how to
'skate' along rooftops with ODM gear, which takes you a few tries, and he spars with you
again. You've got plenty of pent up anger from the situation with Shadis, and it makes you
reckless when you spar.

"Why," you snap angrily as you shove yourself up from the ground yet again, "can I never
catch you off guard?"

"Because you suck," Levi replies blandly.

"I don't suck," you shoot back, lunging at him with a front punch. Levi evades and goes to hit
you in the stomach, but you twist out of the way and move to trip him. Levi reverses the trip
back on you, and you crash to the ground with him hovering over top. "Dammit!" you hiss,
frustrated, as you push yourself back to your feet.

Levi takes a few steps back, letting you regain your footing. "You're reckless," he remarks.
"More so than usual. Think."

You sigh and press your palms to your temples. "Sorry. I'll try."

"Memories?" he questions.

You shake your head. "No. Just- just a shitty week."

Levi pauses and straightens up. You glance up at him, frowning, wondering why he's not
continuing. He raises an eyebrow at you. It's a silent question.

You straighten up, relaxing your shoulders. "Yeah. Roof sound good."
He nods, and the two of you head outside. Night's only just fallen, but the stars have already
started coming out. Tonight is gorgeous; the air is warm and there's a light breeze, ruffling the
collar of your shirt.

You pick out a random building- you think it's one of the classrooms- and you start to scale
the side of it. Levi follows, using the ledges to hoist himself up. Climbing is second nature to
you- you're not entirely sure why- but you enjoy the thrill of the height.

When you get to the roof, you collapse on your back, letting your head thunk lightly against
the shingles. Levi takes a seat a few feet from you, tucking one knee into his chest and
keeping his other leg kicked out.

"It's nice tonight," you say after a beat of silence.

Levi doesn't reply at first, so you wait, eyes glued to the miniscule specs above. "Well?" Levi
says eventually.

You crane your neck towards him. "Well, what?"

"You said you had a shitty week," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. You
prop yourself up on your elbows, confused, and Levi groans, looking away. "Never mind.
You're an idiot."

"You're okay with me venting?" you ask curiously.

"Are you dumb?" he asks dryly. "I don't care."

You're tempted to shoot something snarky back at him, but you realize what he's doing. He's
giving you an outlet. None of these people understand: none of the other trainees, none of the
instructors. None of them understand your amnesia, your struggle to discover some sort of
identity for yourself, to break down pieces of your past and put something together.

But Levi does. He understands. He's one of the only ones who does.

"You know what?" you say angrily, your temper renewed. "I do have shit to say. Because
everyone here is so- no one fucking gets it except you and Hange, and it's so fucking lonely."

Levi raises an eyebrow at you, but he doesn't tell you to shut up, so you take it as a sign to
continue. "None of them know what it's like," you say frostily, pushing yourself to your feet.
"Being outside of the walls. Those stupid titans. Some of them treat it like a joke! Like this
training couldn't save your life, like ODM gear is just a waste of time. And yeah, a lot of
these lessons are jokes, and Shadis- oh! Don't even get me started on Shadis."

You pace back and forth, looking anywhere but at Levi, wringing your hands together as you
rant. "That fucker," you snap. "I thought he wanted me to keep my lessons with you private,
because isn't that a lot to explain? As if these stupid kids don't ask me enough questions- no,
they're not stupid, that was mean," you amend with a sigh. "But they just ask too many
questions, and- oh, there's one kid, Armin, and he asks all the worst things! He's too smart for
his own good, I swear.
"And Shadis!" you demand, whirling back onto the topic of the instructor. "Wasn't the
training supposed to be private? So I did the course, and I just did a lazy version of it, made
sure not to finish first- well, I tied for first, close enough- and he had the fucking nerve to say
that he expected better and it was disappointing. Of course I could do better! I thought he
wouldn't want me to!"

You finally lock eyes with Levi, and although his expression has stayed the same, his
shoulders have rolled back and you could swear he looked amused. "So yeah, I did that damn
course again, because I could do five laps in the time it takes most of those newbies to do
one," you snarl, threading your fingers into your hair. "And then he got mad at me! Like he
didn't just dare me to do it! C'mon, you can't say 'that was disappointing' and then not expect
me to prove myself, especially not when your name is on the line!" you finish, pointing at
Levi.

The air suddenly feels very warm. You drop your gaze with a sigh, looking back up to the
sky. "Somehow, I'm sure my dignity would've held up," Levi replies dryly.

You have to stop and take a breath, trying to return some air to your brain. You glance at Levi
again. "Sorry," you mutter, collapsing on the roof. "Just a bad week."

"I gathered," he deadpans.

You sigh, pushing yourself up onto your hands and looking back up at the stars. Levi is on
your right and a bit behind you, so he's not in your peripheral. "But they're good kids," you
admit quietly. "Eren, Mikasa, and Armin- they're inseparable. Eren's a bit reckless, sure, but
the other two keep him grounded. Marco and Krista, they're sweethearts. I mean, the
company they hang out with is a bit questionable, but..."

Thinking back on your mess hall conversations makes you smile. "Sasha and Connie are
hilarious," you murmur. "Very chaotic. And I say bad company, but Ymir and Jean mean
well. Maybe not Jean- the kid's a bit of a dick."

Levi snorts. "These are thirteen year old kids you're talking about."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," you say with a grin, turning to look at him. "I feel like- like I'm too old
to be friends with them. Like I'm a mom or something."

He won't look away from you, and you're too squeamish to maintain eye contact for long, so
you turn back around. "They're good kids," you murmur. "I don't want them out there."

"Now you know how I feel," Levi says.

You laugh. "Fair enough, but you know I can take care of myself. Have you seen Connie and
Sasha spar? Those two wouldn't last a minute."

You hear a scuff as Levi pulls his other foot up, tucking his other knee up to his chest. "They
probably won't choose the Corps," he says. "Not many do."
 "Eren will," you murmur. "Kid's dead set on it. And Mikasa will too- she'll follow him
anywhere. My money's on Armin going with them too."

"They any good?"

"Mikasa is," you say. "Top in the class, easy. Armin's smart, but the poor kid jumps when
anyone yells. And Eren's just reckless. Combine the three of them, and you've got a lethal
combination."

You hear Levi huff behind you- was that a laugh?- and you smile softly to yourself. "Thanks
for letting me rant," you add.

He doesn't reply. You're fine with that, though.

You let your eyes wander over the stars. They're exceptionally bright tonight- not a cloud in
the sky. You wish you could draw the sky, dot them all down and connect the dots. Maybe
make some shapes, or something like that.

"It's beautiful," you murmur, more for yourself than anything.

"Yeah," you hear Levi whisper behind you. "It is."

You look over at him. He's staring at you.

Your lips part in surprise. Levi jerks his gaze away, and you turn your eyes back up to the
stars, your heart pounding ridiculously loudly in your chest. Hell, you wouldn't be surprised
if he could hear how loud your heart was- it's like thunder in your ears.

"I should go," Levi says stiffly.

You don't look at him. You keep your eyes up to the stars. "Right."

You hear him get to his feet. "See you soon," he murmurs, and you finally turn to look at him.
He's posed at the edge of the roof, about to swing himself over the side.

"See you soon," you whisper back.

Levi meets your eyes, and he nods. Then, his legs swing over the side, and he vanishes from
your sight. You turn your gaze back up to the sky, listening to the sound of his boots as he
climbs down, then his footsteps as he leaves.

As soon as you can no longer hear his footsteps, you press your hands to your face and
squeal.

Chapter End Notes

Hello my loves! <3

Thank you all for all of the support; I hope you're all staying safe and healthy. I'll see
you next Friday!!
 1-6
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Levi! There you are. Where's- oh!"

Levi marches past Hange, head down, eyes set forward on the path in front of him. "We're
leaving," he snaps, not bothering to look over his shoulder. "Come on."

"Okay! What's the rush?" He doesn't reply, so Hange jogs after him, trying to keep up.
"Shadis says we can come by for our next visit in a few weeks," they continue. "And he was
saying that Logan actually went against direct orders to do the ODM basic course!"

"I heard."

"So you were with her, then?"

He doesn't reply, continuing his march towards the stable where they'd left their horses.

"Levi," Hange says lowly, adjusting their glasses. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing," he snaps in return. The stable's in sight- he just needs to get to the horses and then
they'll be home free.

"So should I just go ask her, then?" they ask innocently.

He spins in place, turning to glare at Hange. "Don't," Levi snaps, and he hates himself for the
panic he's thrown in his voice. Their mouth opens, and he rushes out, "it's nothing bad."

They blink. "Levi, are you blushing?"

Fuck.

Levi spins around again and storms off towards the horses. "Oh my god!" Hange shrieks from
behind him, running to catch up. "You complimented her again, didn't you?"

"Fuck off."

"Oh, Logan," Hange mocks, pretending to swoon. "You should keep that eye patch off, it
suits you- wait, let me adjust your harness-"

"I will throw you off your horse and you'll have to walk back."

"No way in hell, Levi," they gloat, practically skipping next to him. "Because if you throw
me off my horse, I'll just walk back here and find Logan, and we can have some lovely chats
about you!"
Levi groans. He doesn't know who he wants to kill more- Hange or himself.

Levi thought you were beautiful.

Well, he never really said it. But you had called the stars beautiful, and he had been looking
at you when he agreed, so... he basically did. Right?

That thought keeps you in a fantastic mood all week. You're starting to realize that your
feelings towards Levi are more than friendly.

Originally, you'd denied it. You'd assumed that the giddiness you felt was just because he had
answers you wanted. Or, after that, you'd assumed that it was just because he was one of the
only ones who really knew about you: your amnesia, your history. It was purely platonic.

But giggling when he sort-of-kind-of called you beautiful? Blushing just thinking of him?

...Yeah. You like him.

And it doesn't help that the only thing the cadets want to talk about is him.

After Shadis announced your private lessons and you'd sped through the course like it was
child's play, the other trainees have been filled with questions. Several are protesting
why you, of all people, get to be the one to have private lessons.

"Is it because you're old?" Eren says bluntly, and Jean smacks him.

You evade most of the questions. The only ones you do answer are the ones where you're sure
no follow up questions can come from it: how long has it been going on (since the beginning
of training), is that why you miss class (yes), is it hard (yes).

However, the rascals that you spend your time with are pushy. You're really starting to
reconsider your friendships here.

The questions normally end quickly once people see how pissed off it makes you, or when
they start to get the hint that you're not going to answer anything. Everyone seems to
eventually clue in.

Everyone except Eren.

The kid is relentless. Every meal, without fail, he attacks you with a new question, ranging
everywhere from "how do you go so fast in your ODM gear?" to "what did Corporal Levi
teach you about sparring? Any tips?" and you're dangerously close to spearing him with your
fork.

Mikasa normally shushes him quickly enough, so it's never been too much of an issue, until
one day he finally asks a decent question.
"Hey, Logan," Eren says, and everyone lets out a collective sigh because they know where
this is going, "you said that Corporal Levi was the one waiting for you in the Corps. Is that
why you get private lessons?"

Finally, a decent question. "Yeah," you reply, nodding.

Eren's eyes widen. He'd clearly been expecting to get shut down again. "So basically, if we
want to get better, we have to have connections," he says thoughtfully.

You roll your eyes. "Not really."

"But you-"

Fed up, you steal an idea from Levi's book. To get Eren's attention, you slam your elbow on
the table and hold up three fingers in front of him. "You get three questions," you say firmly.
"That's it. And then I'm done answering your pointless ventures."

Eren is immediately harassed. "Don't waste them, Eren!" Jean calls. Sasha and Connie
immediately start throwing in their own questions, and you think Reiner's trying to grab
Eren's attention too.

The brunet has his eyes on you. "And you're going to answer them all truthfully?" he
questions, eyebrows furrowing.

You nod. "Yep. That's one."

"Eren, you dumbass!" Connie yells. "There goes one!"

"Yeah, c'mon, Eren!"

"Ask something smart!"

"Oi, they're my questions!"

"Idiots," Ymir grumbles beside you.

Krista laughs. "They're just excited! Logan never tells us anything."

You roll your eyes again- if only she knew. You're just praying that Eren doesn't ask anything
that could lead to a landslide of questions. You'll have to play this smart.

Everyone quiets down, and you realize Eren's about to ask his second question. "Okay," he
says slowly, glancing at Armin, who nods encouragingly. "How do you know Corporal
Levi?"

There's a collective murmur and a few appreciative nods. It's almost comedic how everyone
has banded against you.

"We met before he joined the Survey Corps," you start, trying to figure out how best to
phrase it. "We worked a job together. He, uh..." you trail off. What else can you even say? "I
saw him join the Corps, and I wanted to join too, so." You gesture vaguely. "Here I am."

Good. It was a decent answer. Completely truthful, albeit a bit cryptic.

Everyone converges around Eren, muttering, preparing for his third and final question. It's
fun to watch. "You don't mind this?" Mikasa murmurs.

You shrug. "Better to get people to shut up now than to have to deal with this every meal for
the rest of training."

She nods in agreement. Ymir frowns. "Or just threaten 'em," she says. "You're you. It would
work."

"I'm not that threatening," you protest, shaking your head.

You can hear people bickering, and you glance up to the group surrounding Eren. He's telling
them all off, shoving them away. "I'm asking my own thing," he insists to the onlookers.

The attention makes you feel like some sort of royalty. You like being mysterious; you like
making people wonder. The attention can be annoying sometimes, sure, but you're sort of
surprised how invested people seem to be in your history with Levi.

"Ask away," you say casually.

"Why the private lessons?" Eren asks, eyes wide. "I mean- shouldn't training be enough? And
you're really good, sure, but so is Mikasa." The black-haired girl shrugs. "Why do you have
to get special treatment?"

There's a few ways to answer that, and you choose the easiest one. "Shadis suggested it," you
say, shrugging. "Levi agreed. I'm not going to protest."

He frowns. "Yeah, but why you? Because you used to know Levi? It doesn't seem like Shadis
would do it just for that."

So many answers lie on the tip of your tongue.

Because I've already been a part of the Survey Corps, I just don't remember it. Because I've
already been outside the walls- don't remember much about that. Because I've already fought
titans, but I lost pretty badly.

Instead, you choose a half-truth. "I've seen Levi in action," you reply. Well, it's not
technically a lie- you've probably seen him using ODM gear in a high-stress situation at some
point. "He's got extra stuff he wants to teach me. That's all there is to it."

"So can you teach me?" Eren asks eagerly.

You roll your eyes. "No. I don't teach."

He pouts. "Aw."
You sigh. "Well, maybe I can show you something," you concede, and he immediately
straightens up. "But," you announce, "only if you stop asking me stupid questions."

Eren cocks his head. "What's the difference between a stupid question and a regular
question?"

"They're all stupid," Ymir says.

You shrug. "What Ymir said."

"Fine. But you have to teach me how to do that spin thing you were doing!" he says
excitedly. "The one where you twirl in midair! How do you manage to do that without
tangling your grapples? Is there some secret technique for preparation? I-"

"Mikasa," you say, and she stuffs a bun into Eren's open mouth.

You grin to yourself as the table resumes their usual antics. You do really like these kids, and
it's not that you don't trust them, but there's a lot of your history to unpack: if you tell them
you were in the Survey Corps before, then you have to explain why you're only now doing
training, and then you'd have to explain your injury, plus the circumstances of you joining...
it's a lot.

So, instead, you smile and munch on your rations as you watch the chaos of the mess hall
table unfold around you.

Levi starts teaching you how to use your blades. You've just started using blades in actual
training with the rest of the recruits, so it's a bit of a surprise that Levi's started you on this so
late. So far, you've been well ahead of everyone else's training.

"Why so late?" you ask, testing out the blades in your hands.

Levi twirls the sword aimlessly. "Underground, we didn't have the swords," he says. "You
learn to adapt a lot more. People become too dependent on the blades and I've seen people
who suddenly don't know how to fly without them."

Building up your independence. "Got it."

He flips the blades effortlessly in his hands, going from a backhanded grip to a front grip and
then back again. "Which do you prefer?" he asks.

"Hand grip?" you clarify, and he nods. Frowning, you pull out your blades. Shadis has been
teaching everyone to use the standard front grip; Levi's the only person that you've seen use
the swords backhanded. Well, you suppose that the other trainees really wouldn't know any
different. They've only been taught the one way.

You slice at the air, holding them the way Shadis has been teaching you. Nothing about the
move feels wrong, but when you switch your grip, it just feels... more right. Which doesn't
make much sense when you think about it.
You shrug, dragging the blades through the air. "I think I like backhand."

Levi's lips twitch. "Yeah?"

"I think so," you murmur, fighting the heat that's moving to your cheeks. "They both feel
fine, but..." you trail off, tracing circles through the air with your swords. "This feels faster."

"That's so cool!" Hange jumps at you from behind, and you nearly punch them in surprise- it
feels like they came out of nowhere. "What makes a backhanded grip so special? This is
excellent, Levi refuses to run any sort of tests with me and now you can-"

"She's not doing shit," Levi snaps, swatting at Hange. "None of your stupid tests."

"Come on, they're not stupid!" they protest. "It's different, and I want to know why it's so
preferable, especially if two of our best members do this over the standard way that they
teach."

They've got a good point. You open your mouth to agree, but Levi's hand grabs your
shoulder. "Don't even think about agreeing," he says, "or else they'll never leave you alone."

"I like Hange, though," you protest.

"Hange likes you too," Levi agrees. "Maybe a bit too much." Your eyes widen, and he
clarifies, "they've been trying to convince me to let them run some tests on you, study your
amnesia."

You snort. "Thanks. My guardian angel."

Levi's grip tightens on your shoulder, and the both of you stare at each other for maybe a
second too long before you look away. You glance up at Hange and notice that their eyes are
darting between the two. They're grinning. "Awe," they coo. "Look at you two, I-"

"We're going," Levi announces, and he tugs you towards the woods. You stumble after him,
glancing back at Hange apologetically, but they're just grinning madly.

Levi lets go of you only when you're in front of the trees. "Trees are different from houses,"
you remark.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious," he replies dryly. You roll your eyes. "Stay high," Levi
says, starting to actually give you some advice. "But not too high that branches are in your
way. Branches do more harm than good- plenty of tangled grappling lines. Too low means
titan food."

"Not too high, not too low," you repeat. "Got it."

"You can use branches for hooking points, but limit it," Levi continues. "Treat the trees like
buildings- you don't need to land on them, but-"

"You need them to fly," you finish. "Okay."

He nods, satisfied. "Good to go?"

"Yep."

Levi turns to the trees and his hooks fly out- then he's gone. Swallowing your nerves, you
jump into the air and fly after him.

You'd been nervous about the trees. How easy would it be to get a grip, how easy is it to get
tangled. Turns out, you didn't have much to worry about. The trees aren't drastically different,
like you'd been expecting, and you get better at following Levi through the woods.

Granted, you almost accidentally clothesline yourself at least twice with various branches,
and one time Levi has to swoop in and grab you by the elbow so you don't run face-first into
a tree, but it's a good start.

"You're reckless," Levi remarks. "Flying before you completely know what you're doing."

"I'm just trying to keep up with you," you complain, perching yourself on the branch next to
him.

"And you're nearly killing yourself in the process. Blades out."

With a scowl, you pull out your swords, weighing them carefully in your hands. It doesn't
feel too bad. If what Levi told you about your past holds true, then you used your ODM gear
to steal things, which would mean you're used to carrying things in your hands while you fly.
Right? And working with the blades in regular training with Shadis has never been an issue.
No, you're just worried about keeping up with Levi.

Turns out, it's not as bad as you're expecting. Flying with the blades in hand feels natural.
You try the standard way, then change to Levi's backhanded grip. You swing your arms
through the air, pretending to slice at titans that aren't there.

You don't know how long you've spent in the air, but your palms are slick with sweat by the
time you land from having such a tight grip. You tuck the blades away, then wipe your palms
on your pants, trying to uncramp your fingers.

"Cramped hands?" Levi asks, moving over to you. "Don't hold so tight next time."

"I was afraid I'd drop them," you say honestly.

"Ingrained habits."

Then, Levi reaches for your hand. Your entire body stiffens up as Levi takes hold of your
palm, turning it over in his hand. His thumb brushes over your skin and you feel fire race
through your veins.

Your mouth opens, but no sound comes out. What's he doing?

Levi's thumb pushes into a tender spot on your hand, and you involuntarily wince. "If you're
going to hold them backhanded," he says carefully, eyes trained down on your hand, "you're
going to get callouses. I'll bring you some lotion for them next time."

"Okay," you squeak out.

He nods to himself- why the fuck is he still holding your hand- and he looks up to meet your
eyes. "Good job," Levi says awkwardly.

He drops your hand, and it feels like you can finally breathe again. You force yourself to nod,
then frown. "Wait," you say, and in a sudden rush of confidence, you reach for Levi's hand.
He doesn't stop you. "You have these callouses, then?"

"It's nothing," Levi mutters, and he tries to tug his hand away.

You hold fast, shooting him a glare. "If you're going to grab my hands out of nowhere, then I
can grab yours," you shoot out.

"Don't say it like that, idiot," he snaps.

"Then let me see your stupid injuries, dumbass."

"They're not injuries-"

"You literally just said I was going to injure my hands-"

"You-"

"Aw," someone calls, and you drop Levi's hand like it's scalding hot. Both you and Levi turn
to Hange, leaning against one of the trees. "Look at you two! So cute!" they say, mock-
swooning.

God, it feels like your face is on fire. Has Hange caught on to your feelings? How would they
know? Were you- are you being too obvious?

"Fuck off, Four Eyes," Levi snaps, more venom in his voice than usual. He stomps away
from you, shooting Hange the deadliest glare you've ever seen. "Come on, we're sparring," he
calls over his shoulder. "Go bother Shadis, Hange."

You perk up, then jog after Levi. You're always down for sparring.

Hange follows you anyways, chattering excitedly. "This is excellent!" they say
enthusiastically. "Me, who has the standard military training, then Levi, whose knowledge of
ODM gear is all self-discovered, and then you- a hybrid of both!"

You raise an eyebrow. "A hybrid."

"I'm calling you that from now on. Our little Hybrid."

"Stop alienating her," Levi says with a roll of his eyes.

Hange leans towards him. "Aw, Levi, defending your lady's honor?"
"Four Eyes, if you don't fuck off right now, I'm going to break your glasses," he threatens
without breaking stride.

"Ah, but then I'd be Two Eyes, and you'd have to find another nickname. Two Eyes just
doesn't sound right- everyone has two eyes."

"Almost everyone," you joke.

"You still have your eye. You're, like, one and a half." Hange cocks their head. "If I'm Four
Eyes, can you be One and a Half Eyes?"

You shrug. "Sounds like a long name. Looks like you'll have to leave Hange's glasses alone,
Levi."

He shoots you a withering glare. "Not you too, dumbass."

"I do actually have to go, though," Hange says, sighing dramatically. "I'll catch you two later.
Don't get too carried away!"

There's a crack above, and all three of you look up.

"Thunder," you say.

"That means rain," Levi says with a sigh. "Come on. I don't want to get caught in this."

"We'll have to ride home regardless of the weather," Hange points out. "Unless you'd want to
stay the night? Maybe Logan can-"

"We'll leave in half an hour," he snaps, cutting them off. "Come on."

Hange waves goodbye and takes off towards the mess hall just as the first few droplets start
to come down. You jog after Levi as you head to the barn where you two always spar. By the
time you get there, the rain is coming down in full force, and you're both completely soaked.

Levi wrenches the barn door open and you throw yourself inside, gasping in relief. "I hate the
rain," you grumble, peeling your jacket off of your body.

He throws his own cloak to the side. "You liked it at first."

You frown, turning back to him. "I did?"

"We never had rain underground. Our first time experiencing it was-" Levi cuts himself off,
swallowing hard.

He doesn't need to finish it. You remember. Or at least, you know of it. Your first expedition
outside the walls, the day Levi lost Isabel and Farlan- and you, for that matter.

"I know," you murmur.

Levi meets your eyes briefly, then brings his hands up. "Alright. Come on, let's see if you're
still as shitty as you were last time."

You are, in fact, not as shitty as you were last time, but you're still not a match for Levi
regardless. The small man flips you, throws you, and slams you into the ground so many
times that you can feel your brain jostling around in your head.

You're already tired from at least an hour of ODM gear, and Levi's wearing you out even
more. It's hard enough to keep up with his punches, let alone counter them. Every move you
try is thrown back on you so quickly that you're struggling to keep up, despite being the one
to lead.

Levi's foot lashes out and he knocks you off your feet. Before you can scramble to get up,
Levi presses his knee down into the center of your chest.

"Still can't get me off guard," he says.

"Haven't started trying yet," you retort.

Scowling, you lash up with your foot, kicking him in the knee. Levi buckles- only slightly,
but enough for you to shove his boot off of your chest. You try a move that Levi pulled on
you a few months ago: one of your legs slashes across the back of his knees, and you shove
yourself up on one hand to strike your other leg in front of his waist.

It's a scissor lock, and it actually works. Levi plummets, and you scramble over top of him.
You can't get over him in time, and Levi's foot nails you in the side, and you fall. He
clambers over top of you, blocking your attempt to flip him over again and pinning you
down.

He's straddling you, knees tight on your sides, one hand on your bicep and his other hand on
your opposite shoulder. "Nice try," Levi mocks, dipping his head down closer to yours. "But
it'll take more than that to catch me by surprise."

You're not sure why you do it.

You could blame it on the frustration that you never seem to gain the upper hand on Levi, no
matter how hard you try. You could blame it on the proximity between you two. You could
blame it on the feelings that you've tried to pretend aren't there and have ultimately started to
accept.

You shove against Levi's arm, making him buckle at the elbow, and you seize his front collar.
You tug, but Levi's keeping his neck muscles tensed, and you can't pull him down to you.
That's fine, you hadn't expected to be able to anyways.

Pulling yourself up by his front collar, you kiss him square on the mouth.

It does the trick. Levi's arms lock up and his body goes completely rigid, and you use his lack
of structure to knock his hands off of you. You shove, pushing up with your legs, and Levi
topples sideways. You flip yourself over top of him, reversing your positions, and trap one of
 his arms under your knee. You hold onto his other arm with one of your hands, then raise
your other hand up in a fist over his face.

"Got you," you say breathlessly.

Levi's eyes are blown wide. He isn't even resisting you; he's laying limp under your grip, his
expression betraying his surprise.

The both of you sit like that for a second, trying to digest what just happened.

It hits you. I just kissed Levi.

Immediately, you push yourself off of him, scrambling to your feet. "S- Sorry," you stammer,
your mind going a million miles per hour as you trip over your own feet. You can't even
figure out a logical explanation- I was trying to catch you off guard doesn't seem like a
reasonable excuse.

Levi props himself up on his elbows, but he can't even make words. He's staring at you, lips
slightly parted, eyes wide.

"Shit," you curse. You avoid Levi's eyes, rubbing the back of your head with your hand.
"Thanks for the sparring," you say lamely. "I'll- I guess I'll see you next time?"

His mouth opens, but no sound comes out.

Well, your plan certainly succeeded. You definitely caught him off guard. You nod, more for
yourself than for him, then turn on your heel and race out of the barn, hardly noticing the rain
pouring down on your body.

What the fuck did you just do?

Chapter End Notes

Thank you all so so much for over 900 kudos- you guys are fantastic. I really can't thank
you enough.

Only took 60k words but we got a kiss. It's happening, folks, things are happening. It's a
roller coaster from here! ;) <3
 1-7
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Levi lays on the floor of the barn, unmoving, until Hange comes to get him.

He doesn't know what just happened. Well, more like he knows, but his brain can't process it.

He enjoys sparring with you. Although he usually has the upper hand, you're unpredictable
and it makes for a good challenge. You're more interesting to fight than just about anyone
else in the Survey Corps (save for Erwin) and it keeps him on edge.

It's true that lately he's been a bit more... hyperaware. Flipping you and feeling your chest
pressed against his back. Straddling you and seeing you splayed out underneath him, muscles
tensed and face flushed. Things he most definitely shouldn't be noticing that he's paying acute
attention to anyways.

He was content to suffer with his feelings. Bury them. But he's been slipping lately,
complimenting you- and Hange's not making it any easier.

Regardless, he thought it was one-sided. He should just forget about whatever the hell he felt
for you because there was no way you felt the same.

And then you kissed him.

Levi brings his hand to his face and lightly taps his fingers against his lips. He can still feel
the pressure there, as fleeting as it was.

His face feels like it's on fire.

"What the hell," Levi whispers.

He hadn't even tried to make a move on you. You came on to him. You. He didn't have to.

You like him too.

...Maybe?

Or were you really just trying to catch him off guard and that's all it was? Have you- have
you caught onto his feelings and are trying to use those against him? Levi bolts upright,
sitting up and using his hands to prop himself up straight. There's no way you were that cruel.
Sure, you were ruthless in the underground, but you weren't that person anymore. No way.
You wouldn't do that. Would you?

"I'm overthinking this," Levi mutters with a scowl, falling onto his back again and pressing
his palms to his forehead. "Fuck."
There's a bang as the barn door is thrown open. Levi jerks himself up to his feet as Hange
stomps in, shaking rain from their hair. "Levi!" they chirp. "Are we going, or what? Where's
Logan?"

"She left already," he says shortly.

"Left without her jacket?"

Levi glances at where he dropped his cloak. You left without your coat? How flustered were
you? The thought makes him feel a bit better; at least he wasn't the only one that was having
some sort of reaction to what you did.

"I guess," Levi says nonchalantly. He pulls his cloak on and grabs your jacket. "I'll drop it
off."

"Alright. Rain's lightening up, Rani thinks it's going to stop by the time we're back," Hange
says brightly, watching him get his cloak back on. "What'd you do to make her leave without
her jacket? Is she mad at you?"

Levi strides past them. "None of your business, Four Eyes."

"What happened?"

"I'll meet you at the stables."

He storms out without looking back.

You throw yourself inside your barracks, soaked to the bone. There's still some daylight out,
so the run back wasn't bad, but just about every other girl has reported back to the barracks as
well, desperate to get out of the rain.

Lucky for you, most of the girls have already been in the baths and out again, so there's an
open spot for you. The warm water is absolutely heavenly, and it gives you some time to
digest what just happened.

You kissed Levi.

Holy shit, you kissed Levi.

Groaning, you dip your head underneath the bath water. What the hell. How could you just
do that? And how did you get away with it without Levi beating the shit out of you for it?

You don't know how long you spend in the baths, but by the time you change and head back
into the main room, most of the girls are staring at you. "What?" you ask self-consciously,
wondering if you look weird. "Did I miss something?"

Krista is the one who comes over to you. "Captain Levi dropped this off for you," she says.
She hands you your coat. You can feel the heat in your face, but you force a smile. "Thanks.
Didn't even realize I'd forgotten it."

"How's that going?" Sasha asks, rolling over on her bed. "Training with the Corporal?"

There's a lot more people interested in this conversation than you'd expected. "Good," you
say awkwardly. "We pulled out blades today. Working in the trees."

Several people hum, interested. "Sounds like a pain," Ymir says, rolling over onto her back.

"It is," you agree. "He's tough." You glance at Krista and smile. "Thank you for grabbing my
coat," you say. "Did he say anything else?"

She shakes her head. "No. Just that you forgot that."

"I can wash it for you, if you want," Mina volunteers from a nearby bunk. "I'm doing laundry
tomorrow, I wouldn't mind."

"Okay, thank you." You turn to the rest of the girls. "I'm exhausted. I'll see you guys in the
morning."

There's a chorus of "good night!" as you climb the ladder up to your bunk, hanging your
jacket over the side so that you can let it dry for a bit. You press your face into your pillow,
trying not to scream. Nothing else? Was he mad you kissed him? Would he stop showing up
to train you?

It takes you forever to fall asleep, and when you do, you don't sleep well.

It's almost a month until Levi comes back, and you're painfully restless the whole time.

It's a month of anxiety, a month of oh shit he's cancelled private training or holy crap he's
mad at me. You'd asked Shadis if Levi had mentioned anything, but the instructor had just
shook his head and said he'd inform you when Levi would be coming by next.

A month is nothing strange; there's been longer periods than that between Levi and Hange's
visits. But you can't stop replaying the events of that day in your head: Levi flipping you
over, you seizing Levi's collar, and then kissing him to get the upper hand.

But when Levi comes back, it's not for private training, and he's not alone.

Levi shows up with Erwin. And they're not the only ones; a few people show up wearing
Garrison uniforms, and there's a few people wearing the military police uniform. They're all
gathered together with Shadis, talking politely.

"Why're all the branches here?" you ask Reiner, frowning at him.

"Recruitment speeches for the 103rd, I think," he replies, shrugging. "They all have to choose
branches soon."
Ah. That makes sense. The timeline strikes you, and you straighten up. Has it really almost
been two years of training? Wow- you're getting close to the end. The Survey Corps has
never been closer.

Eventually, Shadis blows his whistle, and all three squads gather in. It's a lot of trainees, you
realize- several hundred. "105th, report to Commander Baine in front of field three for your
next drills!" Shadis barks, and a bunch of the younger kids jog away. "104th, report to field
two for sparring. 103rd, remain here. The commanders are going to give their recruitment
speeches."

You file in with the rest of your friends, eyes lingering on Levi. He's looking dead ahead, and
Erwin's leaning down to murmur things in his ear.

Well. Not today, you suppose.

Being left to your own devices isn't new, but Shadis should've figured that no one would
really be working, not when the top dogs were all giving big speeches a field away. You spar
casually with Sasha, flipping her gently onto the ground and then letting her return the favor.
Both of you (like the rest of the cadets) are more interested in the speeches going on in the
field over.

"You said you're going to the Survey Corps, right?" Sasha says, panting as she gets up from
the ground again.

You nod. "Yep. You?"

"Not sure yet." She shrugs, glancing at the 103rd. Some bald man with a mustache is giving
his speech right now; he carries the roses of the Garrison. "I don't know if I'll place high
enough for the MPs," Sasha says sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head.

"I'm sure you will," you say honestly, crossing your arms. "You're one of the best ones here.
You're amazing with your gear."

"Yeah, but even if I do, I don't think I want to go anywhere Jean is going."

Both of you laugh. "Fair enough," you agree, glancing to where Jean is sparring with Connie.
He's standing over Connie triumphantly, gloating rather loudly. "Think I should spar with
him? Kick him in the ego?"

Sasha laughs. "That'd be a beat down."

Armin says something, and the two of you glance over at him. He was partnered up with
Marco, but like you and Sasha, they're more focused on the 103rd squad. "What was that,
Armin?" you call.

"They're looking over here," he points out.

You glance back at the stage. The bald man with the mustache has finished his speech, and
you know he was the last to speak; Erwin had gone first (you could hear his booming voice
from here) and the man in the military uniform had gone afterwards. Shadis is standing up
front again, yelling at the squad, but all of the visitors are crowded together. Sure enough,
they're talking amongst each other and casting glances at the 104th.

"They're watching us," Marco says nervously.

You snort. "Well, they're not seeing much."

Without the discipline of an instructor, everyone's mostly going casual. Not too many people
are actually sparring at all, or at the very least, sparring seriously.

Sasha gasps. "They're coming over here."

"Shit- pretend you're punching me," you whisper, and Sasha throws a punch. You pretend to
be working on some sort of twisting take down, keeping an eye out. Erwin, Levi, the
Garrison man with the mustache, and one of the military police are still at the stage with
Shadis, but the other member of the Garrison and the other military police representative are
coming over.

What do they want? Were they sent over or are they coming on their own?

"104th!" the military police member calls as soon as he's close enough. "Attention!"

Everyone on the field snaps into their salute.

"Damn," he says, glancing at the other man in the Garrison. "They get softer every year, eh?"

"Sure do," the other man agrees.

You narrow your eyes. Already, these men sound like dicks. Presumptuous, looking down on
others. Sure, you're a bunch of scrappy trainees, but still.

"The name's Duran," the MP says proudly, crossing his arms. "Officer in the military police.
This is Orlin, Garrison commander. You're the 104th, yeah?" There's a murmur of assent.
Duran clicks his tongue and turns to Orlin. "See, this is what I was talking about. No pride.
No self discipline."

You resist the temptation to roll your eyes. If these men are even half as good as Levi, you
could take them on no problem.

"You lot are going to have to train harder than that," Orlin says, putting his hands on his hips.
"Or you'll be whipped into shape in the Garrison."

"And we won't take you in the MPs if you're slacking off," Duran warns. "So keep at it."

There's a chorus of "yes, sir!" but you can't help but roll your eyes. From the stories Levi and
Hange would tell you about the Garrison, they were near useless in the Battle of Shiganshina
when the wall fell. And Levi has referred to the military police as a bunch of "lazy, spineless
pigs" on multiple occasions.

"Hey! Girl!"
Oh, now they're yelling at people? Great. Your opinion of them just keeps slipping and
slipping.

"You, with the bad eye."

Your eyes widen. Shit, that's you.

You straighten up and refocus. The military police guy- Duran?- is glaring at you, and you
wish you hadn't picked a spot so close to the other field. Maybe if you'd hid somewhere on
the far side, he wouldn't have called you out. God damn this stupid need to be close to Levi.

You pull up your salute. "Yes, sir."

"Rolling your eyes, huh?" He crosses his arms. "Think you're above all this, eh? Gonna roll
right into the military police?"

"God, no," you say before you can stop yourself.

Eren snickers behind you. You want to smack yourself. "Yeah? So what's the plan for you
then?" Duran says, and the way he's speaking bothers you. He talks to you like you're a child
who's misbehaving. "Too good for the MPs?"

"Survey Corps, sir."

The Garrison officer snorts. "If you're not doing well in training, you can just say that."

You bristle. That's an absurdly rude and narrow-minded assumption. You can hear Eren
muttering something under his breath behind you, and then Reiner, muttering something in
return. Hell, Levi's in the Corps, and you guarantee he could take on both these men at once
without breaking a sweat. You narrow your eyes, glaring at whoever the hell this man is
(you've already forgotten his name) and wishing you could punch him in the face.

"I'm doing well, sir," you reply through gritted teeth.

"Right." The MP rolls his eyes. "What, can you finally use your gear without falling flat on
your face? Finally learned how to take down someone of your own size?"

The words slip out before you can stop them. "Fight me and find out."

There's a sharp intake of breath from the people around you. Duran shares a look with the
Garrison officer, and they both laugh. "Bold words, girl," the Garrison officer says with a
snort. "Nice big ego, huh? You'll fit in well with the Corps."

"Fight her, then."

You blink. Every head turns to Levi, who's standing at the edge of the crowd- you hadn't
noticed him because of his height. You swallow down the nerves building in your chest.

The Garrison officer turns to Levi, eyebrows raised. "Levi. Erwin Smith let you off your
leash?"
God, you could punch him just for that comment alone. Levi doesn't take the bait. "Spar with
her," he says. "You think Survey Corps are shit, right? Then you should have no issue."

"Levi," Duran starts. "Orlin is-"

"Or, better yet," Levi continues, unwavering, "fight me."

"I'm not suicidal," Orlin interrupts, glaring at the shorter man. "And you can't bait me into
fighting some random girl who's not even done her training."

Everyone's eyes are drifting back and forth, moving from Levi and then back to the Garrison
officer. Your smirk is rising on your face; you're not sure how skilled Orlin is, but you bet
you could at least give him a fight.

Levi shrugs his cloak off. "Fine. I'll fight her."

You blink. That's not what you were expecting.

Levi tosses his cloak to a random trainee. "If you let that touch the dust, you'll be running
laps until your legs fall off," he warns, and the cadet carefully folds the cloak into their arms.
He steps in front of Duran and Orlin, and everyone backs up, making space for a circle. Levi
beckons you with two fingers. "Come on."

"You're serious?" you say dubiously. The last time you sparred with him... well, you kissed
him. Levi's eyes meet yours; his gaze is firm. "Alright."

"Don't beat her up too bad," the Garrison officer offers, chuckling.

You bite your lip to keep a sharp retort from escaping. How is this fair? You have yet to win a
sparring match against Levi- hell, the first good hit you ever landed was when you kissed
him. You can't exactly do that again, not in front of all of these people. This is going to be
humiliating- you don't want to do this.

But you can't just refuse Levi. You can't give this Garrison pig and military scumbag what
they're expecting- you have to at least put up a fight.

You sigh, pulling your hands up in front of your face. "I've beat you once," you remind him,
lips twitching as you remember your kiss.

Apparently, Levi remembers it too. To your surprise, the corner of his mouth twists upwards,
almost like a smirk. "Dirty tricks," he murmurs, eyes narrowed.

"Be nice, Levi," Duran gloats.

"Absolutely not," Levi retorts.

He lunges, hand moving towards you so fast that you can't even think about blocking, you
can only dodge. His fist slides by your face, close enough that he nearly grazes your chin.
You thrust your elbow into his side, but Levi's already gone. He shifts, grabbing at your arm,
ready to throw you over his shoulder.
Not this time. You plant a hand on Levi's back and shove, not letting him get close enough to
throw you. Levi hesitates, only slightly, but it's enough for you to slide forward and get an
arm around his neck in a chokehold that you were practicing in training a few weeks ago.

Of course, Levi's too fast. He seizes your arm and shoots back, wrenching your shoulder. You
recognize this move: it's the counter for the chokehold Shadis taught you. You'd tried to pull
it on Levi during a practice match, but of course, the fucker's grip had been too strong and
you'd nearly passed out. You've done this move before; you know what comes next.

Levi shoves, and instead of falling on your face, you tuck into a roll, diving across the
ground. You pop up to your feet and twist to face Levi again, shaking off dust.

"Warmed up yet?" he says.

Scowling, you lunge forward, driving your foot high in a kick, and Levi catches your leg.
You drop a hand to the ground to balance on and spin, kicking up with your other leg. Levi
drops your leg to shift back, and you continue rotating, trying to sweep his leg next. You feel
like a child's top, spinning against the ground, shooting your legs high then low, then high
again after Levi jumps over your kick and ducks under another one.

Everything is a blur. You manage to sink a boot into his knee and Levi buckles; you manage
to grab his arm and twist him to the ground. Levi flips you over, then you flip him, and
people have to back out of the way as the two of you wrestle on the ground.

At some point, the two of you end up back on your feet, but it doesn't take long before you're
back on the ground, wrestling with each other again. You don't know how long you've been at
this, but you're sweaty and covered in dust from the ground, sand snaking into your boots and
your shirt, and Levi's still moving with no hint of getting tired.

Levi's beating you down at every turn. You have yet to land a solid hit, but he grazed you
across the mouth once, and you can taste the blood on your tongue.

Finally, it comes to an end when Levi gets over top of you. He's trapped one of your arms
with his knee, one hand on your other arm, and his forearm is like a blade across your throat.
He's not pressing hard enough to completely cut off your airway, but it's still painful.

"Tap out," Levi says calmly.

You wrestle against him, trying to kick up with your legs or fight back. It's impossible; he's
got you completely pinned down.

"Tap," he repeats, "out."

With a frustrated groan, you pat the ground twice, and Levi lets you up. Coughing, you work
yourself into a sitting position, the air stinging your lungs as you welcome it back into your
system.

Levi pops to his feet. You just fought him for at least a full minute or two and the asshole
doesn't even look like he broke a sweat. He glances around at the watching crowd, then turns
to Orlin and Duran. "Think you can take her now?"

Your face burns. You never landed a solid hit; that was humiliating.

Levi extends a hand to you. You glare at him instead and get up on your own.

It feels like everyone is watching with baited breath, hushed. You're wondering how bad that
looked to a bystander- you can only hope that it didn't look as bad as it felt. Shit- are the
members of the 103rd watching as well? That's twice the humiliation.

"Well?" Levi demands, squaring up with Orlin. Even though he's a foot shorter, he looks
much more intimidating. "You going to keep talking shit about the Survey Corps?"

That's all he used you for. To show his strength? To keep them from talking shit about the
Corps?

Frustrated, you turn on your heel and march into the crowd, swallowing the coppery taste of
blood in your mouth. You hear a few people call your name, but you just want to leave;
you've never been more frustrated with Levi than you are in this moment.

Shadis rings the bell for dinner, but you're already there.

"Well?" Erwin says as Levi walks back towards him, fastening his cloak. "What did you
intend to accomplish?"

He stays silent, tossing his cloak over his shoulder.

The blond man straightens up. "I'd say you may have garnered us a few more supporters in
both the 103rd and 104th with that fight," he says. "And Miss Logan may have quite a few
admirers. Overall, a success."

"Tell her that," Levi grumbles.

Erwin raises an eyebrow.

He grits his teeth. "She stormed off. She's pissed at me."

"She's holding her standards of herself quite high," Erwin muses, watching the cadets as they
chat amongst themselves. "I don't think she realizes how skilled that fight actually looked."

"No, she just cares that she lost," Levi says with a scowl. "In front of everyone."

Erwin shoots him a look. "Well, you'd better go apologize then."

He swings his head up, eyes wide with surprise. "Seriously?" he says dubiously, watching
Erwin to see if he's joking. The man's expression doesn't waver. "You and Hange now?" Levi
says desperately, glaring at him. "What is it with you two?"
"We're not leaving until you get the chance to talk to her," Erwin says pleasantly. "Off you
go."

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

Levi glares hard at Erwin for a moment, then groans. He stomps off in the direction of the
mess hall, the blond man's eyes drilling holes into the back of his head. Fuck Erwin for
knowing exactly what he wants to do, and fuck him more for forcing him to act on it.

You brood alone at dinner. You're pissed off. Furious, really. Levi embarrassed you just to
prove a point, to bring up the Survey Corps. Sure, you're happy that his point was defended,
whatever. But couldn't he have just fought Orlin? Fuck their stupid politics. Why you?

Well, you know 'why you'. The more time you have to simmer, the more you understand.
You're sure to an outsider that Levi looked great. If the rumors hadn't already solidified him
as humanity's strongest, that was a good glimpse of what he can do.

He definitely impressed people. Good for him. Showing off for the Survey Corps. Whoop-
dee-fucking-doo.

You can hear people whispering, staring at you. But no one's stupid enough to approach you.
Good. People have told you that you look threatening or intimidating, and you've never
believed it. But now? You're grateful for it.

Until someone stops in front of your table.

You glance up, irritated. It's some scrawny kid that you don't recognize. "What?" you say
shortly.

He winces. "Sorry- sorry, he just asked me to give you this."

Before you can ask what the hell he's talking about, the scared kid plunks a piece of scrap
paper down on your table and takes off again, heading far away from you.

Frowning, you grab the paper and unfold it.

Roof.

You stifle a groan. But you can never resist, not even when you're mad at him, and you end
up leaving the mess hall without finishing your dinner.

With a sigh, you head out the front porch, and after a check to make sure no one's watching,
you prop yourself up on the railing and clamber up onto the roof. You glance below you-
nope, no one watching- and swing your legs up, rolling yourself onto the roof. You look up;
Levi's sitting up near the apex of the roof, eyes trained upwards.
Just because you can resist doesn't mean you have to suddenly play nice. "What?" you snap,
staying near the roof's edge.

He tips his head down to look at you. "You going to sit?"

"Do I have a reason to?"

Levi sighs. "You're mad."

"Gee, what tipped you off?" you retort, crossing your arms.

"You're being stupid."

Nope, you're not dealing with this today. You turn back down the roof and swing yourself
over the edge. "If you're not going to apologize, I've got nothing to say," you call over your
shoulder, jumping down off the roof.

You hear footsteps down the roof. You hop back onto the porch and start walking towards the
stairs, even when Levi calls, "dumbass, wait."

"No," you shoot back, jumping down the steps.

"Hey," you hear Levi call. You keep your gaze locked forward, ignoring him. "Hey! Logan!"
he snaps, and you hear him vault down the steps. His hand closes over your wrist and you try
to jerk it away. "What's your issue?"

"You-" you don't even know where to start. "That- that was humiliating!" you hiss. "You
could at least- oh, I don't know, lay off of me a bit? It feels like you're always picking on me."

"I'm helping you," Levi replies, narrowing his eyes.

You snort. "Oh, sure, helpful! Beating me into the ground, very helpful!"

"You looked good!" he snaps.

"Oh, yeah, I bet I looked absolutely fantastic when you flipped me so hard I could feel my
bones crack," you hiss back, cheeks burning. "You looked great, I'm sure."

"Dumbass, you did fine!" Levi lets go of your wrist, and you stay where you are, choosing to
cross your arms and wait. "You could've handled either of them, easy," he says, keeping his
voice calm. "But then that's a whole bunch of shit between branches that we'd rather not deal
with."

"Yeah," you say bitterly, "so your solution was to-"

"Shut up for a second and listen to me." Your mouth drops open, peeved by his audacity, but
Levi forges on before you can get a word in. "You looked good in that fight. I wasn't like it
was completely one-sided-"

"Wasn't it, though?"

Levi groans, raking a hand through his hair. "Look. We were at that for what, two minutes?"
You shrug- you hadn't been timing it. "Yeah. Most people don't go up against me for more
than five or ten seconds."

You roll your eyes. You know Levi's good, the best of the best, sure, but the sureness of his
statement still ticks you off. "Fantastic," you say dryly. "Good to know. I didn't do as bad as
the rest of them."

"No, you-" Levi hisses through his teeth. "Dammit. I'm trying to-" he cuts himself off. "I
don't want you to- dammit, this is stupid."

Your eyes widen. "Wait- are you trying to apologize?"

He looks away, essentially confirming your thoughts, and your jaw slips open. Levi's trying
to apologize. You've been giving him shit while he's trying to say sorry. You can hardly
believe it- you haven't known Levi for very long but you're fairly sure you've never heard
him apologize.

"Seriously?" you say in surprise. "I never thought you would-"

"Don't make this any harder," Levi grumbles, shooting you a glare.

"I don't see what's so hard about it," you say nonchalantly, shrugging. You wonder if you can
rile him up. "You just say you're sorry for dragging me into a fight with you and humiliating
me in front of not just the 104th, but the 103rd as well, plus that Garrison officer and the
military police-"

"Holy shit, Logan!" He reaches forward and grabs you, his fingers wrapping around the
collar of your shirt and seizing tight. "You," Levi snaps, eyes flashing with something you
don't recognize, "are such a fucking idiot."

And then he pushes you against the wall, fingers curled in your shirt, and kisses you hard.

Your head empties. It feels like your mind has gone completely blank; you don't even know
how to respond. Levi's lips press harder against yours, shifting, and it sends electric shocks
up your spine. His lips are soft, softer than you'd expected them to be, and he tilts your head
so that he can slant his lips against yours. Your head rocks against the wall, the cold brick
digging into your skull, and your brain finally seems to turn back on. Holy shit, Levi is
kissing you-

He pulls away as abruptly as he moved in, and his hand falls from your collar. You gasp in
surprise, hands flying up to touch your skin. He stares at you, his expression betraying his
surprise- almost like he hadn't expected himself to do that either.

Neither of you speak. You just stare at each other, dumbfounded.

Until Levi musters out, "I wasn't trying to humiliate you. You're good, one of the best in your
class. Sparring against me was the best way to show off what you could do. Besides, you
know you wanted to show those officers up anyways."
 Your mouth opens, then closes.

"You're full of spite," Levi grumbles. "I know you wanted to. That was the best way you
could've done it. Even though you lost, it showed off a lot more of your ability than it
would've fighting anyone else."

Just when you've finally got your tongue to start working, someone calls, "um... is everything
okay?"

Armin's never given you a reason to dislike him, but you can't help but curse him in your
head when you see his familiar head of blond hair on the porch steps. His head is poking
around the corner, eyes wide with concern. "Fine," Levi says shortly, and the moment is
completely broken. He doesn't even look at you when he says, "go cool off, cadet."

Levi storms off without looking back, leaving you with your back pressed against the wall
and jaw still dropped in shock. Your knees feel weak. You watch him leave until you can't see
him anymore, vanished into the night.

Armin takes a cautious step towards you. "Logan, are you okay?"

You sigh, and let your knees give out. You slide down against the wall, then tuck your legs
up. "Fine," you murmur. "Thanks, Armin."

He shifts nervously, not quite sure what to do from here. "Can I sit?"

"Be my guest," you say dryly, gesturing weakly at the porch steps. Armin smiles cautiously
and sits down on the lowest step, a few meters away from you. You glance up and shoot him
a weak smile, trying to convey to him that you're grateful for the company. He smiles in
return, and you let your eyes flutter shut, trying to process what just happened with Levi.

"Hey, Logan?" You hum in response. "Can I ask you something?"

"Fire away."

"Do you have some sort of memory loss?"

You tilt your head back and smack it against the wall. Yeah, because this day couldn't get any
worse.

Chapter End Notes

Holy shit, y'all. 1000 kudos??? I'm genuinely blown away that both of my fics on here
have received such warm welcomes and it means the world to me.

So: next update on Monday. Y'all deserve it.

You guys literally mean the world to me. My next uni semester started on Monday and I
guess I had wishful thinking- it's much more work than I expected it to be. I'm gonna
die. Send me prayers. :D <3
 1-8
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"How the hell," you utter, "did you manage to come to that conclusion?"

Armin's silent for a moment. He's gauging your reaction, you realize- trying to see if you're
genuinely pissed off at him and if it's worth pursuing. A light breeze moves through the porch
and you sigh, swiping some of your hair out of the way. You glance back at the blond kid;
he's thinking.

"Well?" you say dryly.

"Well," Armin repeats softly, glancing up at the sky. "Somehow, for some reason, you always
seem to... know more than us and less than us at the same time."

You raise an eyebrow at him.

He takes the hint and continues. "Um, like when we spar," he says quickly. "Or the ODM
gear. Or knife handling. It all comes so easy to you and you can never really explain how you
know it. But then we go to talk about the king, and the whole system within the walls, and
you always seem more lost than the rest of us."

"Stalking me in the classroom?"

"No! No, nothing like that, just..." Armin trails off. "It's what I've noticed."

You kick your boots against the ground, scuffing up the dirt. "You're a smart kid," you say.
"What else?"

He straightens up a bit. "Your answer for a lot of questions is that you don't know, or that you
don't remember, and it doesn't really sound like you're lying. You've had a couple moments
where it looks like something has... something's shaken you to the core." His voice drops.
"Eren gets like that sometimes," Armin murmurs. "When he remembers something. Back
from... that day."

From what you know about Armin, Eren, and Mikasa, they all grew up together and hailed
from the same town. You've heard rumors that they were all in Shiganshina when the wall
broke down- you can only bet that they all saw some horrid things.

"So originally I thought you might've just been through something traumatic as well,
something that you didn't want remembered," he continues. "But when... when people ask
you about anything, your answers sound like you aren't confident in them. Like you don't
even know yourself. So I thought maybe you repressed a traumatic memory to the point
where you just couldn't remember anything from it anymore."

He's a smart kid. Too smart. "Any other theories?" you ask.
He shrugs. "That you're just messing with us."

"That's entirely plausible."

Armin laughs. "Yeah, it is."

He goes quiet. The two of you sit in silence, listening to the low hum of the mess hall. You're
trying to debate your options in your head, but you're still replaying Levi's kiss over and over
again in your head. How could he do that? Just... grab you and kiss you?

You banish the thoughts from your head. Right now, you need to focus on the stupidly smart
kid sitting on the porch steps next to you.

It's sort of tiring, keeping up the charade. And at this point, could you really laugh it off?
Sure, you don't think Armin would push you any further if you wanted to, but it might be nice
to talk about it.

You sigh. "You're close. I lost my memory, right around... I think they told me it was just
before the fall of Wall Maria. I was in a coma for a while, I missed it. I didn't repress
anything, I just hit my head."

Armin inhales sharply. "Really?"

"Only took you almost two years of training to catch on," you joke.

He flushes. "Well- well, I've suspected for a while, and then you left tonight and didn't come
back in, so I wondered if you were alone, so maybe I could ask..."

"I appreciate the discretion," you say, trying to force your body to relax. You still feel tense,
wound up like a spring. "I definitely feel like it wouldn't go over well in that group."

"Yeah," Armin says with a chuckle. He motions to his eye. "So is that where that scar came
from?"

"Yep. Same accident."

His voice drops. "Were you really fighting titans?" He lowers his eyes, staring sheepishly at
the ground. "You never really seemed like you were lying," Armin admits. "I think that's
what made me suspicious in the first place."

"Yeah," you say with a soft sigh. "I used to be in the Survey Corps."

The blond's eyes widen. "Really? I had guessed that maybe something happened during the
Battle of Shiganshina, or while Wall Maria was being overrun."

You laugh. "Nah. I remember waking up and not having a clue what was going on, and the
person that was talking to me told me something about that. Said I missed a lot, walls being
broken down, all that. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about."

"Oh. Well, that explains why you're so good at everything."

You can't even deny it. "I wasn't in the Corps long. I think that was my first mission."

Armin hums in understanding, and you see his eyes light up as things start to click in his
brain. "Oh, so you wanted to join the Survey Corps again, but because you didn't know
anything, they got you to go through training again!" Close enough. "And- oh," Armin says,
"that's why Captain Levi gives you private lessons, because you already know a lot of the
technical skills."

"That's it," you agree.

The blond deflates, sinking into the porch step. He seems triumphant that he's finally figured
it out, and honestly? It's kind of relieving. You've been tiptoeing around the topic long
enough, and having someone now who knows is refreshing.

You push yourself to stand up. "What do you think?" you ask. "Should I tell them?"

Armin glances back at the mess hall. You listen in; you swear you can hear Jean and Eren
bickering. "Well, it's up to you," he says honestly. "It's a lot of information. You're really
brave, to redo training and want to go outside the walls again."

You shrug. "All I've got is Levi." You remember the kiss you shared all of ten minutes ago
and swallow hard. "And Hange," you add. "And they're both in the Corps. So that's where I'm
going."

He nods. "Yeah. I get that."

"Ah. Eren, right?"

"Yeah." Armin goes quiet for a moment, but it looks like he has more to say, so you wait.
"Eren and Mikasa are the only family I have left," he murmurs. "There's got to be more to
this world, more than the walls. And we're all going to see it."

Something about the way he says it strikes a cord with you. You push yourself off of the wall.
"Sounds like a plan," you say, walking over to pat Armin's shoulder. "Thank you," you say
quietly, "for listening. It's nice to talk about."

"Thanks for telling me," he says, smiling.

You smile back and squeeze his shoulder before you let go, heading back in the direction of
your barracks. "I'll tell them all at some point," you call over your shoulder. "I'll see you
tomorrow!"

"See you tomorrow," Armin echoes.

You go to sleep with light shoulders and a heavy heart.

The tension between you and Levi when he comes back for his next visit is going to be
undeniable.
By now, you're over two years into your training. Only another year to go before you can
jump into the Survey Corps and join Levi and Hange on the front lines. Which would
definitely be something you would look forward if it wasn't for the fact you and Levi had
now kissed twice- twice- and neither of you knew how to address it.

God, it's tearing you apart. On one hand, him kissing you was a good sign; one of your
primary worries after you'd kissed him was that he was going to resent you or something
stupid like that. But no, he'd initiated it- so he liked you too.

Shit. If that kiss is anything to go by, he's definitely got feelings for you- and he knows that
you've got them for him too.

So now what?

Do you just keep dancing around each other? Pretending nothing's actually happening?
Continue as if nothing ever happened in the first place? What the hell do you do? It's
definitely not like you have any expertise in this area- hell, if you do, you've got no memory
of it.

Levi shows up again a few weeks later. Hange isn't here this time; it's just him and one other
scout that you don't recognize. They don't show up until late afternoon, when everyone's gone
back to sparring in the open field. You see both Levi and the other scout arrive, heading up
towards where Shadis is posted.

There's a sharp whistle blow to change partners. To your surprise, you're more popular than
usual- there's no shortage of people offering to work with you. You notice Marco amongst the
crowd and beckon to him, happier to work with someone you recognize.

Shadis blows the whistle to begin again, and you shoot Marco a grateful smile. "Thanks,
Marco. Not sure why I'm suddenly the go-to partner."

"It was your fight against the Corporal," he replies, grinning like it's obvious.

You roll your eyes. "Oh, please." You gesture to him, and Marco steps in, attempting to grab
you. You grab his arm and twist, but he squirms out your hold, resetting himself.

"You doing more private lessons today?" Marco asks, throwing a light punch at you.

You shift to the side, evading, and move behind him, grabbing him in a chokehold. "I guess
so," you reply as Marco taps your arm to be released. "He never really tells me when he's
coming. Sometimes Shadis gives me a heads up."

He hums in reply. "You know what you're doing?"

You shrug, kicking your foot up to try and hit Marco in the stomach. He sidesteps. "Never
do," you say, blocking Marco's punch as he tries to hit your back. You twist, coming at him
with another kick. "Safe to say we'll be sparring. We almost always do that."

"Sparring with Captain Levi," Marco says, shaking his head as he blocks your kick and
returns one of his own. You dodge. "That would be why you're so popular- that recruitment
speech day sparring match. The two of you were insane."

You swallow hard, trying not to think about it. "I guess."

He smiles. "You don't sound happy."

With a sigh, you stand up straight, letting your shoulders relax. "Honestly? It was pretty
humiliating. He beat the shit out of me."

"But you held your own," Marco reminds you. "That's impressive in itself."

"Yeah, well." You shrug, glancing back at where Shadis is standing. Levi is stripping off his
cloak- what's he up to? Marco follows your eyes, and the two of you watch as Levi walks
around the trainees, letting everyone continue with what they were doing. He's headed
towards you. "Please don't tell me he's doing something public again," you mutter.

"Well, he's not calling attention to it," Marco points out.

"He doesn't have to," you say with a sigh. Sure enough, he's attracted many eyes. You
straighten yourself up, trying to force your shoulders to relax. "Oh, this is going to suck," you
grumble.

Levi stops in front of you. He glances at Marco. "I'm taking her. Join up with another group."

"Yes, sir," he replies, saluting. He shoots you one last look that clearly reads good luck before
he merges back into the crowd.

You turn back to Levi. "What now?"

"You're too popular," he grumbles.

"Popular?" you ask in surprise.

Levi grunts in response. "I was going to wait for you to be free and steal you as a partner, but
you've got a fucking line in front of you every time."

You shrug. "Sorry. Guess I'm a fun partner."

His eyes flicker. There's something about his tone...

You grin. "Are you jealous?"

"No," Levi snaps, much too quickly. He seems to realize his response was too fast because he
whips his head sideways, scowling. "Shut up. We're doing work."

He pulls something out of his boot and tosses it at you. By reflex, you catch it; it's a knife.
You gape at him. If you'd caught that in the wrong place, you would've sliced your hand. It's a
miracle you caught it properly by the handle.

"Knife training," Levi says, pulling a second knife out. "Not standard curriculum."
You glance at the knife in your hand, and your eyes widen in recognition. It's the same knife
Levi gave you before you went to the farm. "You just threw this at me," you say in disbelief.

Levi's eyebrows raise. "You catch on fast."

You flush, scowling. "Fine. Let's just- let's just do this, then."

He nods, then shoots a glare at someone behind you. "The rest of you have better shit to do,"
he snaps, and you realize he's talking to any of the cadets that stopped to stare- which is a lot
of them. "Get going before I make you spar against her."

You hear people shuffle back into action. "Using me as a threat?"

"It works." Levi's eyes tip downwards, then back up. His jaw is clenched. "It works because
you're good at this shit," he mutter, hands dropping. "And even though you're good at this
shit, I shouldn't have..."

He trails off. You wait.

"Dammit, I shouldn't have dragged you into that without-" it sounds like he's struggling-
"without asking you first," Levi finishes, his jaw locked tight.

He's apologizing. In Levi-like fashion, of course: no actual acknowledgement of the word

'sorry' or anything close. But this is just how he communicates- you know that. You've gotten
exponentially better at figuring out how to properly talk to Levi and how he communicates;
this is just another part of it.

Your lips twitch. "That seemed painful."

Levi scowls. "Shut up, Logan. I was trying to..."

He can't even finish his sentence. Your smile softens and you decide to take some pity on
him. "I get it," you say quickly, and Levi's shoulders visibly relax. "Thank you."

Grey eyes locked on yours, Levi nods, satisfied. "Alright. Then let's get going."

Training with a knife isn't all that different from training empty-handed. There's still certain
ways to strike and ways to evade. Levi teaches you how to use the knife as an extension of
yourself, treating it not as something external but something that's a part of you. You've
learned basic strikes with Shadis, but it was only ever for the purpose of being an attacker for
a self-defense technique. You'd never actually learned how to use the knife for your own
benefit.

Levi shows you how to strike, how to slash, how to make the most use of the knife. What
areas to aim for. He normally uses it backhanded, but he shows you how to do both.

"Like this?" you ask, trying to mimic a backhanded strike.

"Close." Levi's hand closes over your wrist and it feels like fire is shooting through your arm.
You immediately tense up as Levi's fingers curl and he turns your hand slightly. "Better."
He lets go, and you feel the air return to your body. You huff, trying not to overthink it. You
focus instead on the drill he's shown you earlier. "So, slash, slash, up, down, side to side, and
thrust?" you repeat, mimicking the strikes as you go.

"Tighten up your elbow," Levi suggests. "Don't grip too tightly."

You follow his suggestions, trying to relax your grip and become more comfortable in your
stance. You try it again, moving through the motions and slicing at the air. "Better?" you ask,
holding your last position.

Levi's hand presses against your abdomen. "Core strength," he says. "Keep it tense here."

It's not like it's just his fingertips; it's his whole palm pressed at your ribs, just under your
breasts. Your breath hitches in your throat and you involuntarily tense up, accomplishing
exactly what Levi had asked you to do in the first place. Levi's fingertips drag lightly over
your stomach as he pulls his hand away.

You look up at him. Levi meets your eyes and holds your gaze.

The tension makes you feel like you're broiling over a slow flame. Your entire body feels like
it's shaking, waiting for what's going to come next. Levi's using more contact today than he
ever has when he's tried to teach you (well, sparring doesn't count) and it makes you wonder
if he's thinking about your kiss as much as you are.

Judging by the tortured look in his eyes, he definitely is. God, you want to kiss him, but you
can't- not in front of everyone else. Definitely not.

Instead, you stand up straight, dropping your stance. You toss the knife up in the air and catch
it again by the handle. "We should talk," you force out.

To your surprise, Levi nods. "Yeah."

Your heart clenches. You swallow hard and nod. "Okay. Good. Yeah, let's..." you trail off.
"Roof?"

"I can't stay late today." Levi reaches down to his boot and tucks his knife away. "We're
supposed to leave before the sun's down."

"Oh." Your heart drops, but you straighten up again. "We could just watch the sunset."

"That would be during dinner for you."

"I'll eat fast."

Levi regards you carefully. You're not quite sure what he's waiting for. "Fine," he says
eventually. "Mess hall roof, then?"

You nod. "That sounds good."

He nods in return. "Okay."

The two of you stare at each other for a moment before you break the stare down, looking
down at your boots. The sun's already started going down; Shadis should be calling for dinner
any minute. Until then, you're going to have to suffer with the tension.

Levi flips his knife casually in his hand. "Let's go again."

So you do, the topic temporarily dropped. You've barely gone for five minutes before
Shadis's whistle blows, and the clanging of the dinner bell sounds not even moments
afterwards.

All Levi does is nod to you before he walks away, headed over to where Shadis is. You file in
with the rest of the cadets, heading to the mess hall. You force yourself to keep your attention
on your friends, not on the man behind you.

Dinner is served, and you sit with the rest of your usual group, but your mind is a million
miles away.

Meeting with Levi, you think as you shovel your food into your mouth as fast as you can. I
have to meet-

"Oi, Logan, you're gonna choke to death," Ymir warns, smacking you on the back.

"It's best not to eat too fast," Krista adds.

You slow down, chewing the food in your mouth and swallowing it. "Thanks," you say,
flashing the duo a quick smile. "Sorry, I'm just supposed to go meet Levi once I'm done
dinner."

"More training?" Marco asks.

"Yep," you lie.

Jean groans. "Man, that sucks! On the night we get off!"

"Lazy bastard," Eren mutters.

"Huh? What'd you say?"

Oh, dear lord. I'm not getting caught up in this today. You shove your plate forwards, feeling
that you've eaten enough. "Have at it," you say.

Sasha lunges across the tables as soon as the words leave your mouth, pulling your plate
towards her, and there's a fight for your bread roll between her and Connie. You use the
commotion to stand up and excuse yourself, leaving the mess hall.

You step outside onto the porch, and your eyes subconsciously seek out the steps. Just below
those steps, against that wall- Levi had pinned you and kissed you. You can feel the
butterflies in your chest as you step up onto the porch railing and climb up onto the roof.
Levi's already up here, sitting closer to the center of the roof. You walk towards him, keeping
your footsteps light. He's staring out at the setting sun. The sky's changed to various shades
of orange; it's quite pretty.

"Hey," you greet quietly. When Levi doesn't say anything in response, you sit down next to
him. You've never been this close to each other on your rooftop sittings before; you could tip
your knee sideways and it would touch his. Sighing, you set your hands behind you and lean
back, following Levi's gaze out to the sky.

Neither of you say anything for a while. You wonder which one of you is going to crack first,
who's going to speak and break the ice first.

You cave first, because there's something that's been bothering you. "Levi," you murmur.
"You've told me everything about my past. Right?"

He stiffens up next to you. "Why?"

You shrug. "Just a nagging feeling. I keep having that recurring nightmare- the blood, hiding
under a table. I just feel like I'm missing something."

Levi stays quiet next to you. You glance at him, then look back out towards the sun, waiting
for his response. "I've told you everything I know about you," he murmurs.

"Did we ever..." you're wondering how to breach this, how to ask. "You know," you say
dumbly, waving you hand between the two of you. "We weren't ever- like, together or
anything-"

"No," he says quickly. "No, we weren't."

"Oh." You're not sure if that's disappointing or not.

Levi clears his throat awkwardly, and you wait for him to speak. "Farlan, he... he teased me,"
he mumbles.

Is he blushing? "Teased you?"

"About you."

"Really?"

"Stupid bastard thought I had a thing for you." Levi scoffs, kicking the heel of his boot
against the roof. "Fucking dickhead."

Your lips twitch. "Was he wrong?" you ask tentatively.

He finally meets your eyes. Every time you look at him, there's a new depth to his eyes, like
he's a whole new person every time you see him. "He wasn't," Levi says firmly, but he doesn't
hold your gaze for long. He looks away.
Levi liked you- before this whole mess. In the underground, before your memory loss. He
liked you too.

...Too?

"Aw, you've got a crush! I knew it!"

You blink. "Isabel?"

Levi looks at you. "What?"

"Isabel," you repeat, the words replaying in your brain. "Her voice. She said..." you trail off
as you start to understand. "She teased me about you too, I think," you murmur.

Levi suddenly looks a million times more awake. "What?"

You shrug. Isabel's voice is fleeting in your head- as swiftly as it came, the memory is gone.
"I think so," you say.

He looks surprised, then content. Levi nods, his Adam's apple bobbing, and turns back to
look at the setting sun. You follow his gaze, trying to seize any other fragments of memories
but finding there's nothing there. Both you and Levi had feelings before this mess. How long
has this been coming on now? Years?

Levi speaks up next. "Would you still want to join the scouts if I wasn't there?" he asks
quietly.

You frown, narrowing your eyes at the sun. You can't see the wall from here- the training
facility is too far away from it- but you can imagine it's out there, Garrison members lining
the edge, watching for titans.

"I think so," you reply honestly.

Levi shifts, moving even closer to you than he was before. "Why?"

You shrug. "Seems like there's a lot out there," you say, eyes fixed on the setting sun. "There's
got to be more than this. Right?" Maybe it's a silly thought, but you continue, "I mean, that
sun has to go somewhere. And there's got to be more out there. More things to see. New
places to watch the stars."

"You think there's other life out there?"

"Why not?" you say with a shrug. "It'd be kind of narcissistic to assume we're the only life in
the world, right? There's got to be other people somewhere. Outside of the walls." You
pause. "Or maybe there's other universes or something."

"Universes," Levi deadpans.

You shrug again, your face heating up. "Maybe."

"In what way?"

You straighten up, surprised he's asking. "Well, maybe there's a universe where we don't fight
titans," you say, glancing out to the sun. "Where everything is simple. Like- oh, I don't know,
you're a shopkeeper and I'm a waitress or something."

Levi snorts. "That's the best you can think of? I'm a shopkeeper?"

"Like, you own a little tea shop or something." You flush in embarrassment. "Fine, you think
of something better then."

He doesn't reply, going silent for a moment, and you're thinking of speaking up when he
finally says, "we'd own a tea shop," he murmurs. "A damn good one."

Your heart flutters. "We?" you say.

He turns to you. "Well, there's bound to be a universe out there where we can stand each
other," he murmurs, his hair falling to the side as he cocks his head.

Your heart pounds noisily in your chest. Levi looks gorgeous, illuminated by the soft colors
of the sunset. Although his expression is still guarded, his eyes don't have their usual
coldness.

"Somewhere out there," you echo, smiling softly.

Both of you look back out to the sun. It's setting far beyond the tree line, painting the sky
several beautiful shades of orange and red. You shift, and your knee accidentally bumps
against Levi's. You pause, waiting for a reaction, but he doesn't do anything.

Levi leans backwards, setting his arms behind him. One of his arms bumps against yours, and
you nearly flinch when you feel his fingertips touch your hand before they shift away again.

You two are so close, yet so far. Levi is literally an inch away from you, and you're not
touching.

Then, his fingertips touch your hand again.

You swallow hard, feeling the chill of his fingers as they slowly trace down the back of your
hand and run over your knuckles. You risk a glance sideways at Levi; his gaze is locked on
the setting sun, but you can see the tension in his jaw. He's nervous.

Fuck it. You shift your hand into his touch, and you feel Levi shudder next to you in relief.
His hand moves to rest on top of yours, and his thumb curls around the side of your hand.
You lock your thumb around his, holding tight, and Levi relaxes his hand on yours.

He clears his throat awkwardly. "So."

You laugh. "You're ridiculous."

"The fuck?" Levi turns his head and glares at you. "Where'd that come from?"
You can't smother your grin. "Can kill a dozen titans without batting an eye, can beat up
anyone twice his size without breaking a sweat, but somehow you're nervous about holding
my hand?"

Levi scowls, looking away from you. "Shut up."

"No, it's cute," you protest, and your grin shifts into something softer. With a contented sigh,
you tip your head to rest against his shoulder. Your heart is noisy in your chest, but Levi's
thumb is rubbing slow circles over your pinky knuckle, which is helping to calm you down.

The both of you sit in silence for a moment, watching the sun.

"Levi," you murmur, sighing. "What are we doing?"

He doesn't answer at first. When he does find words, he says, "I don't know."

Well, that makes two of you. You don't know how this is supposed to work. No one ever talks
about being in a relationship with someone; all of the kids joke about crushes and such but
they're too young to understand. Too young to talk to about something like this.

Levi shifts slightly, and you feel his shoulder rise. "What I do know," Levi says quietly, "is
that I need you."

Something blooms in your chest.

"I don't know exactly why," he continues softly, eyes still set dead ahead, "but you're always
on my mind. I can't seem to get rid of this, this- whatever this is, no matter what I do. I felt it
before you lost your memories, but it's stronger now, and I can't explain it."

Is this what happiness feels like? Leaning against Levi on a roof as he tries to tell you what
you mean to him?

"So, please," Levi croaks out, "join the MPs."

You immediately lift yourself up. Levi's hand stays firm on yours. "Levi-" you start.

"You can't die," he interrupts, and he turns to look at you. His eyes meet yours; he's glaring,
but you can see the slightest bit of desperation lingering behind his eyes. "Because I don't
know what I'd do if you did."

"You know I can't do that," you murmur.

His shoulders sink, and he looks back towards the sun. "I figured. Didn't hurt to ask."

You swallow hard, staring at him for a moment before you lean against him once again.
"You've been training me for over two years," you murmur. "I'm not going to die. Not
anytime soon. I promise you."

Levi's grip tightens on your hand. "They promised me too," he mutters. "Look how that
turned out."
Isabel and Farlan. It feels like your heart is cracking in your chest. You squeeze your eyes
shut. "You said you hate goodbyes," you murmur. "So we've been saying see you soon. I
never plan to say goodbye to you. Because..." you trail off, sighing. "I need you too, Levi. It
scares me, you being in the Corps. I'm always afraid that every time I see you is going to be
the last because you might-"

"I'd never."

"Then neither will I."

You feel Levi's head shift, and you open your eyes. He's looking at you. You wonder how
much he can see in your eyes, if he can see your conviction, your determination, how much
you need him.

Finally, he bobs his head in a nod. "Fine."

You snort. "You say that like you actually had a say in whether I joined the scouts or not."

Levi huffs. "Yeah, well."

The clanging of the bell makes you stiffen up. "Dinner's over," you say.

"I need to go," Levi murmurs.

Of course he does. Now, when you've finally started to make some headway into whatever
the fuck the two of you are doing. Oh, well. You don't really need a label or anything. This is
good enough for now- knowing that you two need each other, knowing you can't survive
without each other. It draws up a sense of contentment in you that you didn't know was there.

You tilt your head up and press your lips to Levi's cheek. "See you soon."

Levi twists, and you feel his lips press at your forehead, right where your hairline is. "See you
soon."

He stands up, letting go of your hand, and you suddenly feel desperately cold without his
hand on yours. Levi walks towards the edge of the roof, adjusting his cloak, and he pauses at
the edge. He turns back to you, and the fading sunset in the background makes his face glow.
He looks ethereal.

You don't have to force the smile that comes to your face. You give Levi a small wave.

Then, Levi runs back up the roof, coming back towards you. You blink, surprised. What's he
doing?

Levi closes the distance between you two, then leans down and kisses you on the lips. It's
fleeting, but it's still enough to make your heart feel like it's convulsing in your chest. You
smile into the kiss, and when Levi pulls back, you're surprised to see he's smiling too.

Levi, smiling. It's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
 He nods, then backs away, heading back towards the edge of the roof. One last glance back at
you, and then he steps off.

With a sigh, you fall back against the roof tiles, looking up towards the darkening sky.
Slowly, you reach your hand up and brings your fingertips to your forehead, where Levi had
kissed you.

I need you, and I don't know exactly why.

Neither do you, honestly. But it doesn't really matter why, does it? Smiling contently, you let
your eyes flutter shut. No. The 'why' doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the first
part.

I need you.

I need you too.

Chapter End Notes

GOD that was a long chapter but it's probably my favorite. That was so fun. Now behold
as I try to merge some romantic development and character development all while trying
to transition into the actual plot of this storyline- feels like Logan is going to be training
forever.

I love you all so much. Thank you again for 1,000 kudos- I hope this early update was
nice. If all goes well I should see you on Friday!! <3
 1-9
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Levi doesn't come back for months after that.

The longest time between training sessions has been two and a half months. Their schedule is
cramped; you can't blame them. Levi and Hange have their own training to do, expeditions to
go on, strategies to plan. It makes sense that they're gone a lot.

You manage. You keep up your friendships with those you've met, and then expand your
group to some of the others you meet: Ruth, a sweet girl with a happy-go-lucky attitude,
Thomas, a nice kid with faded hair, and Hannah and Franz, who everyone jokes are like a
married couple. You spar with a few of them in free hand combat, or you talk with them
while you're waiting to go for drills.

But still, you can't help but count the days since Levi was last here.

You know he's not dead; someone would've told you if that was the case. Doesn't mean you
can't still miss him.

"Six more months of training to go!" Ruth says excitedly at the dinner table one night. "We're
almost there!"

"You said that when we hit the two year mark," Connie points out.

"She's right, though," Hannah adds.

"We're closer than ever," Franz agrees.

Ymir scoffs. "Still way too far away, if you ask me."

You glance around, smiling to yourself. Everyone's in a good mood, and watching the
different conversations unfold across the tables is interesting. You're lucky to say you're
friends with all of these people. They've made training tolerable. You were originally worried
about three long, boring years, but these people have made it anything but boring.

You glance down the table and see Armin chatting excitedly with Eren. It's been a while since
you told Armin about your amnesia, and from the looks of it, he hasn't said anything to
anyone. He's never tried to bring it up with you either- he's a good friend.

They're all good friends, to be honest. Maybe you should just come clean.

"Logan?"

Someone nudges your shoulder. You glance sideways to see Marco, shooting you a wary
smile. "Yeah, Marco, what's up?" you ask.
He shrugs. "You looked lost in thought."

"I was," you confirm, straightening yourself up. "Sorry."

Mina nudges you from your other side. "What about?" You shrug aimlessly, and she smiles
knowingly. "Is it Captain Levi? He hasn't come by in a while."

She's sharper than you gave her credit for. "Yeah, it's been a while," you agree.

"I'm sure he's fine," Krista says reassuringly from across the table. "It's Corporal Levi, after
all."

"Yeah!" Connie says through a mouthful of food. "Mm thure he-"

"Connie, you'll choke," Franz says worriedly.

You roll your eyes. "I'm not worried. He'll be fine. It's just been a long time since he was last
here, that's all."

"What's he like with the gear?" Ruth says excitedly, leaning towards you. "Everyone says he's
humanity's strongest, so he's got to be a god, right?"

"He's insane," you reply, glancing around at some of the others that have decided to listen in.
"Faster than my eyes can keep up sometimes. Even without-" proper training dies on your
tongue and you quickly make up, "even without, uh, any help, he can take down four titans in
a few seconds."

"Really?" Hannah says in awe. "Wow."

"C'mon, you don't actually believe that?" Jean leans forward onto the table. "They're just
rumors that get inflated moving through-"

There's a bunch of boos and groans as everyone within range swats at Jean. "Stop being such
a spoilsport," Reiner jokes, smacking him lightly. "They could be true."

"Maybe true, but exaggerated," Ruth suggests.

"No, they're true," you argue. You would've died if Levi hadn't been able to take down all
those titans, and that was on Levi's first mission- you're betting he's even better than that now.
"Four titans in thick fog, no less."

Eren leans in, frowning. "You really think it's true?"

"Yeah, how would you know?" Jean jeers.

You glance at Armin. The blond meets your eyes and realizes right away what you're
considering. You could've dropped the topic, dismissed them as rumors, and gone on with
dinner. Instead, you drove the conversation further. Armin gives a slight shrug, his lips
twitching.
You want them to know. Hell, it'll be fun to see the looks on their faces when you tell them.

Go big or go home, I guess.

"Because I used to be in the Survey Corps," you say casually, taking a bite out of your bun.
"And he took down four titans in thick fog to save my life."

The people around your table seem to pause. Sasha's frozen mid-bite, the food halfway to her
mouth, and Connie's hand was extended towards her and is now frozen in midair. Eren's fork
clatters to his plate as his jaw drops. Mina's hand slips from your arm as she gapes. Everyone
else seems to be frozen, either in shock or pure disbelief.

Except Armin, of course. The blond kid smiles to himself and shovels more of his food into
his mouth.

"When I told you I lost my memories fighting titans, I was serious," you add.

The first one to speak is Jean. "Stop trying to bullshit us," he calls. "You're taking this too far
now, Logan."

You roll your eyes. "If you don't believe me, ask Armin."

It's comical how fast everyone spins to the blond boy, and Armin shrinks into his seat. "It's
true," he says, glancing at you. "I think."

"You think?" Reiner says in surprise.

"Fine then," you say. Their caution is understandable; you've done your fair share of pulling
legs and cracking jokes since training began. You look at the doorway; Shadis just came into
the mess hall. "You don't have to ask me, you can ask Shadis."

"C'mon, that's just foolproof," Jean gripes. "You know none of us are actually going to ask-"

Eren shoots up from his seat, nearly tripping over the bench as he stumbles away from your
table. "Eren!" Mikasa calls, but Eren is already gone, heading towards the far table where the
instructors are sitting. She turns to you, glaring. "You're going to get him in trouble."

"I never told him to," you point out.

Mikasa shoots you one last glare, then turns her head. Everyone at the table is looking at
Eren, watching as he marches over to Shadis, who's posted near the entrance to the mess hall.
He gives a firm salute. You can see Shadis's face: he's pissed off, berating him, but then Eren
says something and the instructor's face goes slack. You see him glance over at your table and
lock eyes with you.

You shrug, then nod.

Shadis looks back to Eren. You can't make out what he's saying or read his lips, but Eren
turns back to stare at the table. His eyes are blown wide, as round and white as dinner plates,
and the answer is pretty much clear.
"What the hell?!" Eren screeches from across the mess hall.

"Is it the truth?" Connie yells back.

Eren nods vigorously. "Yes!"

Slowly, everyone's eyes turn back to you.

You shrug casually, taking another bite of your food. "Told you I wasn't lying."

And then, the table explodes.

It takes you the rest of dinner to explain. You find yourself repeating your own words several
times because everyone keeps asking questions. It's a bit annoying, sure, but the reaction was
funny and it's a weight off of your shoulders, giving up this information.

Obviously, you don't tell them everything- you don't want to pull Levi into this more than you
have to. You tell them all what you told Armin: Survey Corps, accident, amnesia, going
through training. You don't mention that the training was largely because you hadn't even
done it the first time around; that would lead to a lot more doors that you don't need opened
right now.

Surprisingly, everyone respects your desire not to talk about the specific titan encounter.
Isabel and Farlan are at the forefront of your brain right now, which makes the conversation a
bit more painful than you'd like it to be. Eren, to your surprise, accepts your unwillingness
right away: you'd been expecting him to badger you more.

For the rest of the week, you're the hot source of gossip. You'd told the story to anyone at
your table- roughly a dozen people- and some of those people told other people, so the story
got spun a bit.

You don't mind too much; some of the rumors are amusing. Your favorite one right now is
that a titan ate a chunk of your brain and that's why you lost your memories.

When Levi finally does come back, he's not alone. Hange comes with him. You haven't seen
Hange in a while, and seeing them again thrills you. You'd forgotten how nice Hange's hugs
were. "How've you been?" they chirp excitedly. "It's been ages!"

"Good!" you say back, smiling. "Almost done training!"

"I bet! Three years feels like a long time, eh?" Hange nudges Levi, who scowls. "He's lucky
he missed it."

You wonder about that sometimes. You're not sure Levi would've managed to make friends;
he's naturally a very isolated and independent person. You're not sure he would've had the
same successes you had. Maybe if you were together, going through training at the same
time.
"Pointless shit, if you ask me," Levi remarks, shoving Hange away. He glances at you, and
butterflies immediately burst to life in your stomach. "Ready?"

You shrug. "Sure. What're we doing today?"

"Titan killing." Levi sees the look on your face, and he clarifies, "the fake titans they've set
up in the forest. I'm not taking you out of the walls, dumbass."

"Couldn't hurt to clarify," you say with a roll of your eyes.

"I'll come with!" Hange says excitedly, looping an arm around your shoulders. "I want to hear
all the details, I haven't seen you in ages! What have we missed?"

You grin. "I told everyone about the amnesia."

Hange stops. So does Levi. They both stare at you, and in sync, they say, "you what?!"

"Have you two been practicing that?" you tease, continuing your walk towards the ODM gear
shed. "You've missed a lot," you call over your shoulder, and you can hear footsteps as the
pair jogs to catch up with you. "It went over pretty well, actually. A lot of weird rumors
started up afterwards, but it could've been worse."

"Wow!" Hange says, bounding up to you and matching your pace. "So you told them you
have amnesia? And did they ask how you got it?"

"Yep, told them the Survey Corps."

"So they know you've been in the scouts," Levi says cautiously from your other side.

You can see why he's apprehensive, and you shoot him a quick smile. "Don't worry, they only
know I had a bad accident one mission and they decided to put me back through training.
They don't know anything about how we joined in the first place," you assure him.

Levi still looks wary, but Hange forges on. "What made you tell them?" they urge. "Did they
blackmail you?"

You laugh. "Nah. I just thought they deserved to know."

"I'll grab harnesses," Levi interrupts, and he pushes past you to head into the shed.

Frowning, you wait until the door closes behind him and you turn back to Hange. "Is he
okay?" you ask. "Do you think he's mad I told them?"

Hange snorts. "Why would he be? It's not up to him." Their voice drops. "But we just got
back from an expedition a few days ago," they say. "Didn't go very well. Lost a lot of good
people."

Your stomach lurches. "Oh. I- I'm sorry."

"It's part of the job," Hange says with a soft sigh. They look weary for a moment, tired
beyond their years, before they straighten up. "Oh! I got me an assistant! His name's Moblit,
he was part of the 102nd!"

"An assistant?" you say in surprise. "Someone who can put up with you?"

You and Hange go back and forth for a few minutes, with Hange telling you more about
Moblit and you trading them some stories of training, until Levi comes back with the
harnesses. Hange helps you suit up, pulling the leather straps up your legs and adjusting your
scabbards as you continue chatting with them.

Geared up, you and Levi head towards the forest. Hange skips past you, running into the trees
so that they can get to one of the maneuverable fake titans. "What're we doing today?" you
ask eagerly, stretching out your legs.

"Kill as many as you can," Levi says in return.

That's it? Alright, then. You pause, waiting to see if Levi will say something else. This just
feels like some regular training session; you were half hoping he would do something. Kiss
you, take your hand, mention your last meeting. He almost seems... distant?

"You okay?" you ask carefully.

He doesn't reply.

Frowning, you turn back to the course. "Fine then," you mutter. "Nice to see you too."

Levi groans. "Come on, Logan, stop it. It's been a rough week."

"Then talk to me about it." You straighten up. "That's sort of my..." job. Well, not really. If
you were together, then yes, but you and Levi haven't really discussed it- but you basically
are? "Okay, well, regardless of whatever the hell is happening between us," you say quickly,
pointing your finger between you and him, "you can talk to me."

"Just a bad expedition," he mutter sourly, looking away. "That's all."

You purse your lips. "Alright. Want to talk about it?"

"No."

Nodding your head, you look forwards again, at the forest. "Okay. Fine. Just killing the titans,
right?"

Levi realizes that you're going to jump straight into it a second too late. "Wait-"

You jump and go, soaring through the air. If Levi's not going to talk to you, then you've got
no reason to wait around. You swoop low, close enough to brush the forest floor with your
fingertips, then shoot one of your hooks into a high branch. You rocket upwards, eyes set on
the titan up ahead.
"Blades," you mutter to yourself, and you tug your blades out of their holster. In a split
second, you judge what side you're on, and you roll the swords over in your hands, slicing
through the back of the neck while holding the swords backhanded.

You hear Hange whoop from the ground. "You got it, Logan!" they call.

Grinning, you spin through the air, looking for your next target. Hange must be doing
something on the ground, because another wooden titan swings into view right in front of
you. It's much too close to try and get into position to cut its neck, so you drop your grapples.
You freefall through the air until you're low enough, then shoot your hooks through its legs.
You fake a leg slice, then rebound off of the tree in front of you to head for a clean cut at the
neck.

Hange cheers again, then calls, "I'll leave you two to it, then!"

They skip away, smacking Levi in the back as they go past him, and Hange vanishes from
your line of sight. You swing through the trees again, finding another fake titan to attack.

You glance around for Levi. He's watching you from the ground, arms crossed.

Tensing your muscles, you push off of another tree and find another titan. You roll your
swords in your hands, back to the forehand grip, and you slice through easily. Grinning to
yourself, you plant your boots in one of the trees and push off, shooting your hooks forward.

Snap.

Something tears, and the harness around your right thigh goes completely slack.

You yelp in surprise. One of the harness straps snapped in the back, and now it's loose around
your thigh. You can't use that side to maneuver in the air. Thinking fast, you shoot the hook
for your left side up high one of the tree trunks, then use it to pull yourself up.

Without the other side, you hit the tree a bit awkwardly, but eventually, you get yourself
pulled up onto one of the branches. You stumble awkwardly, retracting your hook, and you
fumble for your straps after you sheath your blades.

There's a whir of gear, and you feel the branch shift slightly beneath you as Levi lands. "What
happened?" he asks calmly.

You frown, reaching for your harness. "Not sure. Right side went slack- the strap snapped."
You grab onto it and twist it so that you can see it, holding up the two broken ends. "Maybe it
was worn down," you suggest to yourself as you examine it. "Maybe..."

It's broken too cleanly. It doesn't look torn; it looks like a knife hacked at it.

"Someone cut it," you mutter. You glance up; Levi doesn't seem surprised. "Oh, you cut it,"
you realize, raising your eyebrows. "But Hange helped me gear up, they would've
noticed- oh. That's why they helped. They knew about it."

"Gear will malfunction," Levi says calmly. "You need to be able to manage when it does."
Fair enough. "So I did okay?"

"Yeah. You got it."

You frown, looking from your broken harness up to Levi, and then back to your harness.
"You got a spare harness, or..."

"I'll get you down," he promises.

Something knots in your stomach, not just from the way he says it, but the
implications. Will. Which means not yet. Which means he wants to spend more time with you
up here.

You straighten up, dropping the broken strap. It hangs limply against your thigh, useless. You
make sure your blades are tucked away before you glance back up at Levi. "Levi," you
murmur, taking a step closer to him on the branch. "What happened on the expedition?"

The man sighs, crossing his arms. He's only a foot away from you; if you reached out, you
could touch him. "Lost a member of my squad on the last expedition," he mutters.

You knew Levi had his own squad. From the sound of it, they were supposed to be the best of
the best. "I'm sorry," you say.

"They're my responsibility," Levi continues quietly, glaring at the trees. His eyes flicker back
to you. "And you are too. So I've made sure you got the best training you could."

You frown. "Levi-"

"Today's our last session," he says. You open your mouth to protest, but he cuts you off. "It's
not you. Shit's going down with the Corps. Erwin needs me back on base, and you don't need
me anymore."

"Of course I need you."

"Don't need me for training," Levi clarifies.

You pause, digesting this. "So this is the last time I'll see you until the recruitment ceremony,"
you murmur.

He nods. "Yeah. It is."

That's not too bad. Graduation is only a few months away. You've been apart for longer. You
lock eyes with Levi; he still looks troubled.

Swallowing your repercussions, you reach forward and take Levi's hand. He lets you. "I'm
going to join the Survey Corps," you say firmly, squeezing his palm. "So I'll see you then."

Levi sighs softly, and he reaches his other hand up to your face. You nearly flinch from the
chill of his hands on your skin- you nearly fall off the branch. Slowly, his fingertips trace
your jawline, his fingernails brushing lightly against your cheek. His touch is featherlight, but
it's setting your body on fire.

You drop his hand, then reach up to touch his face with both hands. Levi shifts backwards
slightly- it's barely perceptible, but you pick up on it. You pause, holding both your hands in
the air. You're not about to touch him if he doesn't want to be touched.

Then, he moves forward, bringing his face into your hands. You smile softly, cupping his jaw.
"You're not responsible for me," you murmur.

"I am," Levi argues, "whether you like it or not."

"It goes both ways."

With that said, you lean in, and you gently press your lips together. He kisses you back, and
you use your hands on his jaw to slant his head slightly, making it easier. Heat spreads from
your lips to the rest of your body, renewing your energy.

Levi's fingers shift from the side of your face to underneath your jaw. His other hand reaches
out and settles on your hip, using you to anchor himself. He kisses you softly, lips moving
slowly against yours, and you reciprocate with a similar energy.

It's unbelievably nice, kissing Levi. Like being bathed in sunlight on a warm summer day. He
tastes distantly of some sort of tea, you think. He's careful, slow; you're hoping he enjoys this
as much as you do. Kissing up high in the trees is perfect: away from anyone that could see,
balancing carefully on a branch. The bits of sunlight peeking through the leaves.

Finally, Levi pulls away. His hand drops from your face, but his other hand remains on your
hip. You keep your hands around his jaw.

"It's dangerous," he murmurs. "Shit like this, in our line of work."

"We're dangerous," you object. "We can handle it."

The corner of Levi's mouth twitches. "We can..." he trails off. He glances to the side, then
back to you. "We can figure this out when you join the Corps."

You nod slowly. It's not going to be about figuring out your feelings; both you and Levi have
made yourselves perfectly clear on that front. It'll be about how to hold this together, what
this means for you two. You can live with that.

"Okay," you whisper.

Levi nods, and he drops his hand from your waist. You let go of his face. Levi turns, giving
you his back. "Hold on," he instructs. "I'll get us down and we'll get you back to training."

You nod and wrap your arms around Levi's shoulders. His muscle is tense beneath your
fingers, and you tighten your hold. Levi's arms wrap around your thighs, and he steps off of
the branch into a gentle swoop. You fall with him, squeezing him tight.
Levi walks you back to the equipment shed, where he returns his own harness and takes
yours. He leaves it in the back of the shed, telling you he's going to get Shadis to repair it.

Then he walks you down to the mess hall in time for dinner and that's it. It's over.

"Go eat," Levi urges, jerking his chin at the hall. You glance inside; Eren and Armin are
already set up at a table and they're waving at you. "Good luck with the rest of training."

You swallow hard. You want to hug him, kiss him, anything, but there's too many eyes. "I'll
see you soon," you force out.

He nods, and turns away, beginning his walk back to the stables.

That's not good enough. Planting your feet, you clench your hands into fists and shout, "say it
back!"

Levi pauses.

"Say it back," you repeat, "because I need to hear it."

He turns. "See you soon," Levi echoes.

You nod, finally satisfied. You break his gaze and stumble up the porch steps into the mess
hall, trying to imprint the last vision of him into your mind.

Only a few more months. That's all.

"So?" Hange says excitedly, bounding from foot to foot as they literally run circles around
Levi. "Well? Did you finally suck it up? Did you kiss her? Did she kiss you? Confessed your
undying love and devotion?"

Levi pointedly ignores them, trying to step around, but Hange's too fast. "Fuck off, Four
Eyes."

"Nope, not until you give me details." Their eyes flash. "Don't make me go back to Logan
and ask!"

"For fuck's sake," he snarls. "Could you be any more bothersome?"

"Absolutely. Would you like me to increase my nagging and how much time I spend with
you?"

Levi groans. Well, if he doesn't tell them, he's sure they'll dig it out of you at some point...so
he may as well. "We kissed," he mumbles, surprised at how sheepish he sounds.

Hange doesn't hear him right away, and they spring onto him so fast that Levi nearly goes to
the ground. "Did I hear that right?" they practically shriek, and Levi winces at the sheer
volume of their voice right next to his ear. "You two kissed?!"
"I said what I fucking said."

"Oh my god!" Hange skips around him in a circle, grinning like an idiot. "How was it? Was
their fireworks? Butterflies? Giggling and holding each other's faces like teenagers?
Everyone's first kiss is always so magical, I bet you two-"

Levi seizes their collar, throwing Hange off of their feet, and the eager scout falls to their
knees. Levi glares down at them, and in a rare moment of spiteful energy, he says, "it wasn't
our first."

Hange's eyes widen. "What?!"

He lets them go, throwing them to the ground, then storms away. "Levi!" Hange shrieks,
shoving themself up off the ground and barreling towards him. "What do you mean, that
wasn't your first? Why wasn't I informed immediately?!"

Levi sighs, pressing a hand to his forehead. This is going to be a long trip home.

To your surprise, those few months go by surprisingly fast. Before you know it, you're at the
end of the term, the last day of training. To say you've been dreaming of this would be an
understatement. Every single thing you've done since getting back from the farm has been to
get you here, to graduating. Getting back into the scouts the right way.

At the end of the day, everyone's excited- Shadis is going to announce the top ten. There's
been a lot of speculation, and people have a general idea of who's up there, but there's still
some spots that you're not sure about.

Shadis blows his whistle, calling for everyone to line up, but he singles you out before you
get the chance to. "Logan!" he barks. "Get over here."

You jog over to Shadis and throw up a salute. "Sir."

He sighs and holds up his file. You're not sure what's in it, but if you had to guess, it would be
the rankings. "I commend you on the three years you set aside to do this the proper way,"
Shadis says, disgruntled. "Despite the headaches you've caused me."

"Thank you, sir."

"When you joined, you expressed the conviction of only returning to the Survey Corps, and it
was upon the suggestion of Erwin Smith that I remove you from the ranking system entirely,"
he continues. "Does this still hold true?"

"Yes, sir."

"You're sure."

You nod. "I am."

Shadis sighs. "You've been a pain in the ass, Logan, but you're certainly not useless. Try not
to get yourself killed."

"I'll do my best, sir," you say, your lips twitching. Shadis turns around, but then a thought
occurs to you, and you speak up again. "Sir?"

He turns back towards you. "Now what?"

"Back then, when you called me a disappointment after the first day of ODM gear training."
You straighten yourself up. "And then denied me permission to reattempt the course. Were
you actually disappointed, or were you trying to rile me up?"

Shadis holds your gaze for a long moment, and your fingernails pinch into your palm.

"I was testing your devotion to your captain," he says at last. "I wanted to see if those lessons
were worth it at all, and you didn't even try during that first run. I don't believe Captain Levi
teaches people how to be mediocre."

You smile. "That he does not, sir."

"Is that all?"

"That's all."

"Then go line up. We have a top ten to name."

You nod, saluting again before you jog off to the field, where the other recruits are lining up.
You stay at the front, squeezing yourself between Ruth and Reiner. "What'd the old man
want?" Reiner asks.

"Excusing myself from the top ten," you reply.

"What?" Ruth says in surprise, leaning forward to try and catch your eye. "Why would you
do that?"

"I don't care about the rankings," you say with a shrug, glancing from Reiner to Ruth. "I've
been in the Survey Corps before. This was just a formality. I think more of you lot should
have the option for the Military Police Brigade."

"That's uncharacteristically selfless of you," Reiner says, and you punch his shoulder.

Shadis calls everyone to attention, and the three of you stop chatting immediately and salute.
"I'm going to announce the top ten recruits," he yells, file clenched tight in his hands. "You
should all have a rough idea of who from the status update from a few weeks ago, but there's
been some shifts."

You feel Reiner tense beside you. You're sure he'll be fine.

"Number one, Ackerman," Shadis calls, and you grin to yourself as Mikasa steps out of the
ranks and goes to line up at the front. "Two, Braun."
The blond man is frozen next to you. "I'm one of the top?" he murmurs like he can't believe
it.

You kick him in the calf. "Get up there, idiot!"

Reiner heads up to join Mikasa as Shadis continues down the list. "Three, Hoover. Four,
Leonhart. Five, Jaeger."

Bertolt, Reiner's close friend, joins him, as does the blonde girl that's been on her own
constantly throughout the past three years. You grin as Eren moves to stand next to her,
smiling like an idiot.

"Six, Kirstein, and seven, Bott. Eight and nine, Springer and Blouse. Ten, Lenz."

So Jean made it to the top ten after all. You can see the smug grin on his face as he goes to
stand next to Eren, and Marco is grinning from ear to ear on his other side. Connie and Sasha
both look like they want to scream, but Shadis is shooting them a dark glare, and they
manage to contain themselves. Krista moves into line shakily, smiling like she can't believe
it.

Those are your friends up there. You've unbelievably proud of them.

"Now that you've completed training, you have three choices!" Shadis booms from the front
of the field. "The Garrison, the Survey Corps, and the Military Police Brigade! Of course, out
of you raw recruits, the only ones who can join the Military Police Brigade are the ten with
the highest scores."

He glances at the ten at the front, and you beam with pride from your spot in the audience. So
many of your close friends, making the top ten. They have an option to stay inside, to stay
safe- although you weren't sure how many were going to take it.

"Soon, we'll be asking you what branch you want to be assigned to," he continues. "But as of
right now, the 104th squad is officially disbanded! Dismissed!"

"Yes, sir!" you chorus with the others, saluting.

Now that Shadis has dismissed you all, you dash towards the front line. The first person you
hug is Marco. "You did it!" you say gleefully, squeezing tight. "Military Police!"

"Couldn't have done it without you," he replies, grinning.

"You totally could've." You glance sideways. "And Jean! C'mere, you little prick." You grab
Jean in a headlock before he can escape and pull both him and Marco towards you.
"Congrats, both of you."

"Let go of me, you demon," Jean complains, but he doesn't make any effort to get away.

You let go and make sure you congratulate the rest of your friends. You squeeze Krista so
hard that Ymir physically pries you off, and you give Reiner a congratulatory hug. You don't
know Bertolt very well, but you hug him anyways; he seems happy. Eren is so excited that he
 actually picks you up when he hugs you. Sasha and Connie end up wrestling you to the
ground, laughing.

You remember being angry that Levi and Erwin were forcing you into three years of training
that you didn't need. Now? You're nothing but grateful. You never would've forged such close
relationships with so many people.

"You coming, Logan?" Mina calls, waving. Everyone's headed to dinner.

You grin. "Yeah! One second!"

Last official training day was tomorrow; the day after, you'd enlist in the Survey Corps.
Smiling, you jog to catch up with Mina. Everything's finally coming together.

Chapter End Notes

Thank you guys so much for all of your lovely positive comments and for 20k hits!!

You guys all seemed so excited for the fluff and I really hate to break it to you but we
start diving into the meat of season one next chapter and it's no pleasure ride. Wooooo
angst!!!

More serious question: is there anyone opposed to a slight bit of plot alteration? Nothing
huge- just a minor character saved here and there or something like that. Reader in this
one ain't no bitch- she's gonna pull some shit. I've got some ideas.

So much love for you all!! Have a wonderful weekend my loves!! <3
 1 - 10
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

One last day before graduation: a visit to the frontlines, Trost District.

It's sort of strange, being in a town. All you've known is the hospital you woke up in, the
farm where your messed up family lives, and then the training grounds that you've spent the
last three years at. You've never had the opportunity to go into one of these towns.

It's wonderful. Strange, but wonderful. There's so many people, tightly packed together on
the paved roads, vendors selling things on the street. Children chasing each other through the
alleyways. Women chatting happily and exchanging parcels.

You grin to yourself. It's delightful, seeing all of these people happy together.

Eren takes off early, headed to the lift that'll take him to the top of the wall with Connie,
Sasha, Mina, and a few others. You've seen the view outside the walls; you're content with
enjoying the town.

"You act like you've never been in a village before," Franz says with a laugh as you stare
stupidly at a bouquet of flowers.

You shrug. "Who knows? Maybe I haven't."

Hannah smiles. "You like flowers?"

"They're pretty," you confess, straightening up again. You glance at Franz; he's bought a
flower from the vendor and is waiting for Hannah to look at him. You grin. "Turn around,"
you urge, smiling.

She turns, and her mouth falls open. "Franz," she says with a sigh. "You're so sweet."

"Just as beautiful as you are," Franz says, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

You roll your eyes. "You two are so sappy. Marriage has made you soft."

'Marriage' is a running joke among the training corps when talking to Hannah and Franz; the
two of them have been inseparable since they started training and over the past six months
have almost become insufferable with how adorable they are. Both of them immediately turn
away from you, sputtering out protests.

"Give it up already. We know you two are practically in love with each other," you say with
another roll of your eyes.

"Well- I'm going to, uh, go catch up with the guys," Franz stammers. "I'll- catch you later?"
He takes off, a blushing mess. You smile softly, glancing at Hannah, who's twirling the
flower idly in her fingers. She's watching Franz take off, smiling.

You nudge her gently. "That was cute."

She sighs happily. "He's the best," Hannah murmurs, looking at you with a smile on her face.
"I mean, you all tease us a lot, but really. He's the greatest."

Without meaning to, you think of Levi. What's he like in a relationship? He doesn't seem like
the type for grand gestures- or even small gestures. Or gestures at all, really. "Hey, Hannah,"
you muse to yourself, looking up to the wall. "How'd you know that Franz was... that he was
the one for you?"

Hannah hums. "I'm not entirely sure. He was just- he was always there. Always my first
thought, you know? There's no one else I'd rather be with."

You nod along. No one else you'd rather be with- well, Levi fit that bill pretty well. Always
the first thought... has there been a day that you haven't thought about Levi? Well, not
recently, at least. You're always wondering what he's up to, how training's going for him. If
he's okay.

You're about to reply to Hannah when there's a resounding boom.

The two of you look to the wall. There's steam billowing up from above it, pouring over the
edge, and there's a gaping hole in the gate. You look up to the top of the steam and your jaw
falls open; there's a hand gripping the wall and a titan head poking out over top. The titan's
massive- that wall has to be, what, forty meters? Fifty? It's got to be that colossal titan, the
one that they said broke the gate into Shiganshina five years ago.

"Oh my god," Hannah says, her voice panicked. "That's- that's the colossal..."

You can barely make out tiny specs hanging off the wall. Your eyes widen as you remember
where Eren had ran off to: the post on top of the walls.

"We have to help them," you say, grabbing Hannah's sleeve and tugging. You've got your
gear on; you could get up that wall. "Come on, we have to-"

There's a gust of wind. You bring your arms up in front of your face to brace yourself,
squinting up at the wall. The titan's swung his arm across the top of the wall, swiping away
all of the fixed artillery. You grit your teeth and glance at Hannah: her eyes are blown wide in
fear.

If she's not going to be any help, then you can't try and drag her. You drop Hannah's sleeve
and start running towards the colossal titan. You can-

"Oi! Cadets!"

Someone grabs your shoulder. You spin around. It's a tall woman in a Garrison uniform.
"Yes, ma'am!" you say quickly, saluting like you've been taught.
"There's a strategy in place to deal with the colossal titan," she tells you, glancing back at
Hannah, who's still frozen in place. "Report to your posts and wait for further instructions."

You freeze up. "But it-"

It's gone. There's a billowing channel of steam, floating up to the sky, but the hand is gone
and you can't see the head. Unless it ducked below the wall or away from your sight, it's
gone.

"Cadet!" the woman says sternly. "Report to your post!"

"Yes, ma'am," you force out, grumbling, and you run back to Hannah and grab onto her.
"Come on. We've got to get going."

Hannah stumbles after you as you two jog towards on of the Garrison buildings. Villagers are
streaming past you, and there's a bell clanging in the distance. Evacuation.

"They broke the wall," Hannah mumbles. "The titans-"

"Are going to come in," you finish. "Which is why we need to suit up. Come on."

You finally make it to your post, and you sigh in relief when you see Eren. Fumbling with
your gear, you jog over to him. "Logan!" Eren greets. "The colossal titan! It-"

"I saw it," you say. "Are you okay? Everyone else on the wall?"

He nods. "We're fine. Samuel fell but Sasha caught him- his foot's messed up but he's going
to be okay." He turns to Armin, who looks like he's going to fall apart the second someone
taps him. "Oi! Armin! Are you alright?"

"I- I'm fine," Armin stammers.

On your other side, Franz is squeezing Hannah's shoulders. "I'll protect you," he murmurs.

You glance around, looking for the rest of your squad. What a day. You were supposed to
graduate tomorrow...

"Let's go, cadets!" one of the Garrison officers commands. "The Survey Corps, who are most
equipped to deal with titans, are out on a mission, so we're the line of defense between the
titans and Wall Rose!"

The Survey Corps are out? "Of all fucking times," you swear to yourself, moving to line up
next to Marco.

Jean is on the other side of Marco, muttering to himself. "Why today?" he grumbles, hand
pressed to his face. "I was- we were supposed to go to the interior tomorrow, why'd it have to
be today..."

"And the Survey Corps are gone," you grumble. "Talk about timing."
The timing does feel oddly suspicious. Survey Corps gone, the middle of a transition... seems
like the perfect day for an attack. And what was it that the colossal titan had done first- wiped
out the cannons on top of the wall? You'd been taught that titans were mindless, thinking only
of their next meal. Were they evolving?

The Garrison start spitting out orders. Three squads: one directly at the breached gate, one in
the middle, and one assisting the evacuation. Vanguard, middle guard, rearguard. Trainees
were going to be in the middle guard.

Aimlessly, you follow the others, lost in your thoughts. Titans were attacking- people were
going to die. How would it go? You've been training your ass off. Are you really good
enough to take down titans? How are you supposed to protect all of your friends if they're
spread out through squads? What if they-

"Trainee Logan." A hand claps your shoulder and you nearly flinch. "You're being assigned
to rearguard to assist with the evacuation."

Your jaw drops. "I- what?"

"Evacuation's going slowly and we need the best of the best to guard the public," the man
says, shoving you towards the Garrison heading to the rearguard. "Get going."

"But-" How can you protect everyone if you're not even with them? "But I'm only going to
get in the way-"

"You were one of the top in your class, weren't you?"

You set your jaw. "Technically, I didn't rank-"

"Quit bullshitting me and get to rearguard, Logan. We don't have time for this!"

You grit your teeth and salute in submission. Satisfied, the Garrison leader heads off, and you
shoot a quick glance back at your friends, headed to the middle guard. You try to wipe the
panic from your face and have some confidence. There's Eren and Armin with Mina and
Thomas- Marco is with Jean, Franz, and Hannah. Sasha and Connie, Ymir and Krista. Ruth is
near Reiner and Bertolt, discussing something. You swallow hard. "Don't die!" you call out.

Mina waves at you. "We won't!"

"Stay safe!" Marco echoes.

With a heavy heart, you jump into line with the rest of the Garrison heading to rearguard. To
your surprise, you find Mikasa in the crowd, her eyes dark. "Mikasa," you call, and she looks
up at you. Her eyes widen in surprise, and you shift through the throng of people until you're
next to her. "They put you in rearguard too?"

She nods. She looks pissed off. "Yeah."

You nod in return. Looks like she'll share your sentiment. "As soon as this evacuation is
done," you mutter, "we rejoin middle guard."
Mikasa looks surprised for a moment, but then she nods.

You can't stop yourself from looking behind you constantly. The vanguard and middle guard
are keeping the titans at bay, so there's no immediate danger. One officer starts barking
orders, but you're only half listening; you find a post on a rooftop with Mikasa and draw your
blades, waiting.

God, you hate rearguard. You feel useless, standing here and doing nothing when you could
be out there, killing titans.

"Why's evacuation so slow?" you scowl, flexing your fingers around your sword handles.

Mikasa draws her own blade. "It does seem rather slow," she murmurs.

"You think there's trouble?"

"Maybe."

There's a shout, and the two of you look up. A titan has broken through the middle guard, and
it's stumbling straight for the large crowd of people trying to get through the gate. It's got to
be an abnormal, ignoring everyone else in favor of the larger meal.

"I'll take it," Mikasa says before you can say anything. "You check the evacuation."

You nod. You'd been nervous to leave your other friends, but Mikasa is different. She wasn't
the top of the class for no reason- you trust her abilities. "Got it," you confirm.

Mikasa jumps off the roof, heading for the titan, and you head towards the gate, eyes fixed on
the attempted evacuation. It seems like the crowd of people isn't getting any smaller- is the
gate blocked? That would spell disaster for everyone.

As you get closer, you realize that's exactly the case. There's a giant cart in the way, piled
high with supplies. You frown- wasn't the order to leave behind all personal belongings?

You touch down on the ground. "What's going on?" you shout, and the crowd starts parting as
you push through them. "What's with the cart?"

"That man said we need to push it through," a woman near you mutters.

Your eyes seek out the danger: it's a balding man with clipped hair and wild eyes. He's
standing between you and the cart. "Get that thing out of here," you snap, "and let these
people through! My comrades are dying out there!"

"That's your job!" the man snaps, and oh, does your blood boil. "It's your duty to dedicate
your life to saving us townsfolk-"

He's been speaking for all of two seconds and you've already had enough of his bullshit. You
whip out your blade and point it directly at him. "Move this damn cart," you order fiercely,
"or I'll go through you. My friends are dying out there, waiting for you to evacuate, and I
can't help them until you're through that gate. So move. The cart."
The man splutters before he forces out, "just try it! I'm the boss of this town's shopping
district! And-"

"Good thing I don't shop," you snap.

There's a crash behind you. You turn your head to see Mikasa, perched on top of the head of
the titan that had been coming after the evacuees. She meets your eyes and nods.

You turn back to the man. "Move."

He swallows hard, then glances at the man beside him. "Move the cart."

Satisfied, you wait until the men gather to shift the cart out of the way before you break
through the crowd, heading towards Mikasa. She's changing out one of her blades. "Nice
kill," you say, glancing at the steaming titan corpse behind her. "You good?"

"Blunted my blade," she says. "But yeah. All good."

"Ackerman! Logan!" one of the officers calls, and the two of you zoom up to the roof. "Nice
kill, Ackerman," she greets, and Mikasa nods. "Logan. Let's keep at this. They're breaking
through the middle guard."

Your heart clenches in your chest. Don't assume the worst. They're going to be fine.

"Got it," you say, and the woman nods. You glance at Mikasa, but she's already gone, heading
away to join the left side. Pushing off the roof, you fly to the other side, spying a titan that's
getting too close for comfort. You draw your blades, flying towards it.

The titan lunges for you, face first. You retract your hooks and shoot them into a lower wall-
it's the only option you've got- and dodge as the titan goes face first into one of the rooftops.
You skid along the ground, regaining your footing before you launch yourself back up.
Rolling the blades over in your hands, you slice through the back of the titan's neck.

You land on the roof and turn back to check your kill. It's good- the titan's gone limp and its
body is steaming.

"First kill," you murmur to yourself, eyes searching for your next target. Well, technically,
your third, but you don't remember the first two very well.

You hear a scream, and you look off into the distance. There's a tall titan, head well over the
height of the rooftops, holding a Garrison member in its hand. You launch yourself forward,
wind roaring in your ears and stinging your eyes and you push yourself to go faster, shoot
your hooks quicker.

You hurtle by the titan so fast that you almost forget to turn your swords over in your hands
to cut through its nape. You make it in time, slicing all the way through and nearly crashing
into the adjoining roof. You whirl back around. "Are you okay?" you call.

The titan fell to the ground with the person still in its hands. Jumping down to the ground,
you run for its hand, then gape when you see the man clenched within it.
"Well, isn't this ironic," you say dryly. It's Orlin, the Garrison man who'd given you shit in
front of the other cadets just over a year ago.

His eyes widen as he recognizes you. "You're that girl that Levi fought, that one day-"

"Guilty," you grumble, slicing through the dead titan's fingers. "You okay to fly? Gear
damaged?"

"Should be fine," he replies.

He's eyeing you warily. Good; you're being openly hostile and he remembers what you can
do. You're about to say something else when you hear a bell clang- the evacuation bell.
"They're clear," you say, and it clicks in your head: everyone's evacuated. You can go find
your friends.

You jump up from the ground as Orlin calls, "wait!" but you're already too far away to care.
You zip around the gas refill station- swarmed with titans, but you've barely used any gas,
you should be good- and your shoulders slump in relief when you see several people gathered
on a roof in the distance.

They're okay. You'd worried that the titans breaking to the rearguard meant that all of middle
and vanguard had been wiped out, but you can still see people. Hopefully, they're your
friends.

On your left, you see someone else zooming towards them as well. It's Mikasa, sailing
through the air. She's fine too- thank goodness. You see her pause on a rooftop, and you're
about to slow down and join her when movement on the ground catches your eye.

There's two people on the ground. One of them doesn't have their legs, but the other is still
moving. You swoop forwards, eyes scanning for titans, but there's none in the immediate
vicinity.

When you get closer, you realize who it is, and your heart plummets in your chest.

"Hannah," you say hoarsely, calling to the figure that's still moving. She's leaning over the
other cadet's body, performing CPR. "Hannah!"

She doesn't reply. You stumble to the ground, releasing your grapples and jogging towards
her. It's Franz on the ground, legs gone and blood still dribbling out of his ruined torso. He's
clearly dead; the blood pool underneath him is huge and it looks like he's been dead for a
while.

"Hannah," you call, your heart breaking in your chest. "We need to go."

Hannah keeps moving like she doesn't hear you. Her eyes are squeezed shut, tears leaking
down her face. "Franz isn't breathing," she says, her voice shaky. "He just needs- he needs
CPR."

She drops her head and presses her lips to his, breathing into his mouth before returning to
chest compressions. "Hannah," you murmur. "Franz is..." God, you can't even say it.
"Hannah, we need to go."

"I'm not leaving him," she snaps fiercely. "I'm not-"

"Hannah, we need to go," you urge, blinking back tears. "He's not- we're titan food down
here."

"I'm not leaving!" Hannah shouts.

You understand- no, maybe you don't. You don't understand what she's feeling. But you
understand the situation and you know that you can't let her die here. "We've got to go," you
repeat, your patience wearing thin. "Hannah, we can't die."

She shakes her head furiously.

Your patience is up. You reach out and grab Hannah's shoulders, yanking her up. She
immediately starts fighting you. "Hannah!" you snap. "Stop fighting me- I'm not going to let
you die here!" Still, she keeps pulling against you, trying to drop back to Franz's side. Finally,
you try the only thing you can. "Hannah, Franz is dead!"

If anything, she starts thrashing harder. "No! No, I can save him!"

You strike her hard across the face with your palm. Hannah blinks in shock, but she stops
struggling. "Franz is dead," you choke out, praying the tears behind your eyes will dry, "and
I'm not letting you die too."

Finally, finally, she slumps. Hannah starts sobbing, but she nods wearily. She starts clutching
at her neck as you pull her away, and you realize she's clawing at a necklace. It's probably
from Franz.

"Come on," you whisper, and you shoot your hooks up into the nearest roof and pull yourself
up. You stop on the rooftop and glance behind you, waiting until Hannah zooms after you,
tears still flowing freely down her cheeks.

You don't look back. You keep your eyes focused on where Mikasa was headed, and Hannah
follows you across the rooftops until you make it back with the rest of the group.

As you land, you can feel yourself relax immediately. You can see a lot of your friends:
Reiner and Bertolt chatting with the blonde girl, Annie (since when were they friends?);
Connie and Sasha, Jean and Marco. Good- you're not sure how much death you'll be able to
handle today.

Sasha sees you first and she grins. "Logan! Aren't you supposed to be with rearguard?"

"Mikasa was too," Connie points out, "but she's here."

You glance across the roof and see Mikasa heading over to Armin. Good- he's alive too.

"We were," you say, sheathing your blades. "Wanted to come and check on your guys first."
You glance around. You're starting to pick up on how despondent everyone is: Jean's got his
face in his knees, and he's not the only one. There's several people clutching their heads,
rocking back and forth, almost like they've given up. "Why aren't you evacuating?"

"We don't have enough gas," Jean says with a laugh. You and Sasha turn to look at him. "We
don't have enough fucking gas to get over the wall, and the replenishing station is swarmed
with titans. Those cowards inside, they- they all gave up."

Shit. "All of you?" you say, glancing around. You get several affirmative nods. "Okay. Who's
got a plan?"

No one says anything. Everyone's looking at you.

Well, someone needs to think of something. You swallow hard, looking back to the gas refill
station. There's a lot of titans there. You could take out some of them, probably, but you'd be
overwhelmed pretty quickly. You look to Hannah, but she's collapsed against the roof. Ruth is
comforting her now.

Then, you hear, "In training corps, squad thirty-four."

You glance behind you. Armin is speaking up.

"Thomas Wagner, Nac Tius, Mylius Zeramuski, Mina Carolina, Eren Jaeger..." he trails off.
"Those five carried out their mission and died bravely in battle."

It feels like you've been sucker punched. Your head is swimming, and you have to step out a
bit so that you don't tumble over. Mina- happy, smiling Mina who wouldn't hesitate to be
your partner, who offered to help you out with laundry... Eren, who was so excited to join the
Corps, to make a difference...

You can feel the bile rising in your throat, and you feel nauseous. You spin around to Sasha,
who looks equally horrified. "Is this everyone?" you force out. "Is this everyone that's left?"

She nods shakily.

You spin around, eyes wide as you search for the others. Who else have you lost? Who else...

No Franz. No Thomas. No Mina, no Eren- and who knows how many others? Your head is
swimming, you're spiraling, sinking-

"Logan."

You whip your head up. It's Reiner.

"What's our next move?" he asks calmly.

You pinch your fingernails into your palms. These kids are keeping their shit together; you
need to do the same. You try to muster up words, but it's hard when every cadet on the roof is
looking at you. "Why me?" you manage.
"You were in the Survey Corps once," Marco says, shooting you a smile that you think is
supposed to fill you with confidence. "You've got more combat experience than the rest of us.
What should we do?"

"What can we do?" Jean counters, slumping. "We-"

"Marco," someone calls, and you see Mikasa walking away from Armin and towards you.
She and Eren were close- you're expecting her to be a wreck, but she looks even more
composed than ever. "If we eliminate the titans that are swarming around HQ, we'll all be
able to fill up on gas and scale the wall. Am I wrong?"

Marco nods. "No- you're right."

Alright. If all of these kids are handling their shit, you need to as well. They're looking to you
as a leader right now: it doesn't matter if you want to be one or not. You don't have a choice
right now.

"Here's the plan," you say loudly, loud enough to catch everyone's attention. Even Mikasa
stops next to you. "We're going to take our those titans around HQ, fill up on gas, and get the
hell out of here."

You hear Marco stammer, "but even you- you against so many of them."

"I can do it," Mikasa says calmly.

Her eyes are focused dead ahead. You understand the feeling: wanting to throw yourself into
combat so you don't have to think, don't have to consider the damage done. "We don't have a
choice," you add. "Unless someone has a better idea?"

Mikasa raises her sword in the air. "I'm stronger than you," she announces, eyes sweeping
over the watchful cadets. "Extremely strong. And that's why I'll be able to drive the enemy
out of there on my own."

"You're not on your own," you say hollowly.

She meets your eyes briefly and nods before she turns back to the rest of the cadets. "But I
guess all of you are useless," Mikasa says. "Useless, cowardly, pathetic. It's really too bad.
Stay here and suck your thumbs while you watch me. While you watch us," she amends.

You draw your sword. "Get your shit together," you warn. "And let's get going. Let us handle
the titans- you worry about staying alive and getting into HQ."

"What the hell are you saying?" Ruth asks in disbelief.

"Even you two can't take on that many by yourselves," someone else adds.

Mikasa adjust her scarf. "If I can't do it, I'll just die. But if I win, I live. And if I don't fight, I
can't win."
She's got a point. "Stay high and over the rooftops, not the streets!" you instruct as Mikasa
jumps away behind you. "There could be small ones hidden in the streets! Keep your eyes
forward, stay over the rooves! Avoid, don't engage!"

You step off the roof and shoot your hooks forward. You've got more gas than the rest of
them; you'd barely used any of it when serving in the rearguard. Swallowing, you catch up to
Mikasa, bringing your blades out again.

A titan pops up in front of you; you don't even break stride. Spinning in midair, you slice
through the monster's neck, and it falls.

"Nice one!" someone calls from behind you.

You can't risk turning around. The closer you get to HQ, the more titans there are. Mikasa
breaks off to slice down another one, and you keep going forward. You need to get these kids
to HQ- you can't stop.

Screams echo behind you, and you finally glance over your shoulder. Looks like just about
everyone followed. Some titans are coming from the sides, titans you missed- but if you turn
around to help them, you're going to be abandoning those at the front, and-

No. Your best bet is to clear out as many at HQ as you can and trust them to get there.

Gritting your teeth, you block out the sounds around you and zip towards the last line of
buildings between you and headquarters. There has to be at least a dozen titans. The most
dangerous titan is the lanky ten meter one that's climbed up onto the first level and is sticking
its face into the windows.

Windows. That's going to be the best option for getting into HQ. Who knows how many
titans have breached the lower doors?

"Come on!" you shout, and you jump towards the closest titan. You'll have to work your way
up. The titan has a mop of brown hair and doesn't see you coming until you're already there,
ripping through its neck. One.

There's two more titans reaching for you, one on either side. You shoot yourself upwards,
then yelp and redirect when another reaches for you from above. You try to remember
everything Levi's taught you: don't leave your hooks in too long or else titans will tangle
them, if you can't immediately go for the neck then hit the heels, stay away from the hands.

You twirl, rolling across the titan's outstretched arm until your momentum takes you to its
nape and you can slice through. You push off of the wall and hit the large titan's ankles, but it
does nothing; the titan continues to reach for the windows. Shit.

Then, something hits your line.

"Shit!" you cry out as you retract your cable, but the damage is done. Your course has been
redirected, and your shoulder strikes the wall.

You let out a low moan. It's hurts, but not too badly- you can still do this.
You open your eyes and nearly scream. One of the small titans is right in front of you, mouth
open, teeth shining with blood. Its grubby hands are reaching for you and you ready your
blades, trying to figure out how you can make space to find its nape.

You can't die, you promised Levi-

Someone whips by, and the titan's nape is cut. It tumbles to the ground, dead. You gasp in
relief, looking for whoever saved you.

"Logan!" someone shouts, and you see Ruth hooking into the wall above you. "C'mon!"

"Ruth, get inside!" you warn, dropping yourself to the ground so you can retract your hooks
and sort yourself out. You've only got a few seconds- there's another titan lumbering towards
you. "Go! I'm-"

A scream escapes your throat as a hand appears over the edge of the wall above you and Ruth
is plucked out of the air. You launch yourself up, trying to get there in time, but now there's a
second titan grabbing at her legs, mere feet away from you.

Ruth screams, a panicked, high-pitched wail, and you can feel your entire body erupt in
chills. "Ruth!" you yell, shooting your hooks into one of the titans holding onto her. "Hang
on!"

You're too late.

A third titan from above grabs on, and Ruth is torn in three directions above you: one titan
gets a leg, and her scream is cut off abruptly as one of the other titans yanks her head back
and pulls it off. There's a shower of blood that sprays you, stinging your eyes, which you
can't seem to close.

Ruth.

There's nothing you can do, she's already dead. You swallow the lump in your throat- she
died saving you. Hurtling upwards, you aim for one of the higher windows. That large titan is
still reaching in, and with all of the strength you can muster, you zoom past it and drag your
blades through its neck.

The titan drops, collapsing onto the building, and you hook your grapple into the wall so you
can spin, hurling yourself through one of the broken windows. With your arms wrapped
protectively around your head, you roll across the floor, feeling the broken glass underneath
you as you slide to a stop.

Coughing, you shove yourself to your feet, broken glass sliding under your boots. You raise a
hand, wiping Ruth's blood away from your face.

"Logan!"

You turn and nearly sink to the ground in relief. You never thought there'd be a day where
you were happy to see Jean, but today's full of firsts. "Hey," you force out, stumbling towards
him. There's several others behind him, and a bunch of sword-less cadets curled up under
tables, hiding from the titans. "I think I got three- maybe four-"

"You're bloody!" Marco cries out, and you feel his hands grab your shoulders. "Are you-"

"Not mine," you choke out.

No one questions you. You're grateful; you can't stop replaying Ruth's death from right above
you in your mind.

"You killed that titan, but there's going to be more," Jean says quickly. "They- so many
people didn't-"

"Mikasa," you say quickly, realizing the other girl isn't among them. "Where is she?"

The dead silence that follows makes your stomach curl up in your chest. Bertolt speaks up.
"She ran out of gas-"

There's a crash. One of the titans has tried to jam its head through the window. "There's too
many people up here!" someone yells, and there's a mad scramble to get away. Marco turns to
run, but Jean remains frozen beside you, staring at the large titan.

"They're never ending," you say in disbelief, pulling out your blades again.

"There's no way to beat them," Jean says tiredly, shaking his head. "How could we ever think
we-"

And then they're gone.

The titans and their horrific faces are shoved aside by a giant fist, and in their place is another
titan with pointed ears and long brown hair. It roars, so loudly that the gust of wind blows
your hair backwards, but it's not looking at you: it's looking sideways, at the titans it just
punched.

You're completely lost. "What the fuck?" you say in surprise.

There's a crash through one of the windows, and three more figures appear. You almost cry
out in relief when you realize who it is- Mikasa, Armin, and Connie, all alive and well. "We
made it!" Connie says with a wild grin, grabbing his gas canister. "Barely, but we did!"

You run over to them, leaving Jean behind, and you grab Mikasa's shoulder, squeezing it. "It's
good to see you," you say quietly, and she seems to understand because she nods in return.
You reach for Armin next. "You okay?" you ask. "What happened?"

Armin's eyes widen. "Are you hurt?"

"Not mine," you say shortly. "What- what is that thing?"

"It's a fellow titan-killing anomaly!" Connie says excitedly, pointing out to the titan. It's
lumbering away from the building, targeting the titans it just threw off. "It's got no interest in
 us!"

Where the hell did that come from, then? The other cadets keep talking behind you, but
you're curious. You wander to the windows, then hop up on one of the edges. You climb
outside, balancing yourself on the edge.

There's a few smaller titans below, but they can't get up here. There's no other titans near the
windows now that this titan on your side has knocked them off. You glance towards it- shit, is
it fighting them? Was that a throw? It looks scarily similar to what you learned in training.

"Logan, c'mon!"

You glance back inside. Connie is beckoning to you.

"We're gonna raid the basement and get our gas! We're going to need you!"

You nod in reply and take one last look down.

You wish you weren't able to see it from here. The titan carcasses. The blood. The broken
body, the body of the girl who saved your life. The only thing that remains of Ruth is her
torso and one of her legs. It nearly makes you vomit just from looking at it.

How many of your friends have you lost today?

With a heavy heart, you step back inside the building and follow Connie to the stairs.

Chapter End Notes

Hello friends new and old- those that have been here for a while and those that only
came because I finished no funny business. I appreciate you all the same. If you're new,
I update every Friday, somewhere between 9 and 10 am EST.

Woooo plot time!! I feel like Reader's been training for years. I'm so sorry if this feels
repetitive of what you've already seen- it does for me too. Personally, I hate these
chapters because it feels so pointless writing this out. But unfortunately I can't really...
skip it. You know? Ugh. At a crossroads. Worry not; this chapter should be the most
boring follow-the-plot one. It'll be better from here on out (and that's a promise).

Thank you (as always) for your lovely support and for 1200 kudos. It really does mean
the world to me. I love you guys. Stay safe and healthy!! <3
 1 - 11
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You don't understand how everyone is keeping it together.

Armin's managed to pull himself together and is coming up with some plan to kill the titans
in the basement. You'd love to help, but you feel numb. You can't stop replaying Ruth's dead,
right above you, her head ripped off and spraying you with blood...

You've lost so many people today. Ruth, Mina, Franz... Eren... Somehow, his death hurts
most. He'd been so excited to get out into the world, and he hadn't even got the chance to go
beyond the walls.

These kids are fifteen. Fifteen. And they're watching their friends get torn apart in front of
their eyes.

With a sigh, you force yourself to your feet. If they can keep it together, so can you. They
need you. Some of these kids were looking to you as a leader- bad mistake on their part, but it
made sense. You were the only one with some sort of combat experience (even if you didn't
remember it). You have to keep yourself and these kids alive.

You promised Levi you'd come back alive. That's exactly what you're going to do.

You jog over to the group, and Armin fills you in on the plan. There's seven titans standing
between you and refilling on gas, so everyone's going to pile into the lift and draw the titans
in so that seven people can slice at their necks.

"You good with being one of the seven?" Marco asks, nudging you.

You nod. "Yeah. I'm good."

You group up with Mikasa, Connie, Reiner, Bertolt, Jean, and Annie to head down the stairs.
Everyone's ditched their maneuver gear due to the lack of gas; you've got a bit left, so you're
keeping yours on.

"Can we even kill titans without our vertical maneuver gear?" Connie asks.

"Sure," Reiner says confidently. "The enemy's only in the three or four meter class! That
makes their weak spot an easy target."

"I've got a bit of gas left," you say, heading down the stairs. "So if anyone misses, I can back
you up."

"Yeah, you've fought titans before," Jean remarks, glancing at you. "You ever kill any, before
today?"
You narrow your eyes, frowning as you try to remember. The memory is difficult on you-
emotionally draining. "Two," you say quietly.

"What size?" Connie asks.

You shrug. "Maybe eight meters. They weren't spectacular."

"Still impressive," Bertolt murmurs.

You appreciate the sentiment, but now you're lost in your thoughts. "There were at least six of
them, I think," you murmur, your words flowing without any thought. "They were all hidden
in fog, so we couldn't tell. They slaughtered my whole squad. I watched my best friends die
in front of me. At least, I think they were my best friends- I can't remember them."

The silence that follows is deadly.

Oops. You just killed the mood, didn't you? You drag your sword tip against the wall,
probably blunting it, but you don't care. "Titan had me in its hand," you say quietly. "Arms
were pinned, foot was broken. Levi saved my life, but when I fell, I hit my head. And my
eye, I suppose."

You've got a real talent for causing awkward silences, don't you? You glance behind you; all
six of the others and staring at you. You drag your eyes forward again.

"Come on," you muse. "Let's go kill some titans."

The seven of you file into the rafters, eyes open for titans. You count seven- good, no
surprises- and you pick out one with black hair and a large nose. There's a creaking sound as
the lift starts coming down, piled full with cadets holding guns.

I have to wait until they fire. You tighten your hands around your blades, preparing your
backhand grip.

"Fire!" Marco yells.

There's a subsequent chorus of booms as the guns go off, spraying the titans in the face. You
jump down and swing, dragging your blades through the titan's neck. Got it.

Immediately, you look up. You're the only one with a shred of gas left; if anyone missed,
you're the best option for helping. You hear Connie yell out, and the titan he was supposed to
hit is lumbering towards him. You jump, aiming your grapples at the titan's neck, and shoot
forward.

You spin through the air and slice, killing Connie's titan. You try to turn, but your gear doesn't
work. Shit, now you're out of gas. You fall to the ground, rolling to prevent injuries, and pop
back up.

"Thanks," Connie says shakily, nodding to you.

"Well, now I'm definitely out of gas," you joke lightly. "Good thing we can restock now,
right?"

There's a hearty cheer as everyone piles off of the lift and people head for the gas canisters.
You fumble with your own, then start helping others, making sure everyone's got enough to
get themselves back and over the walls. Everyone starts heading out, and you can hear the
familiar whir of gear as people take off.

You're one of the last ones out of HQ, watching warily for any titans, but it looks like that
anomaly that Connie, Armin, and Mikasa lured towards HQ took care of most of them. You
wonder where it is.

As if on cue, there's a loud crash. You look up; several of the 104th are perched on one of the
rooves. You shoot yourself upwards, landing next to them. "Hey, guys," you greet, following
their eyes. "What are we..."

You trail off. Your eyes widen.

That anomaly titan is laying on the ground on its stomach. There's steam pouring from where
its arms should be. The neck's split open, and someone tumbles out. It's a person-
a person came out of a titan?

It's a second wave of shock when you realize that the person is Eren.

Mikasa's already gone, heading down to the titan, but you're still in shock. Was Eren
controlling that titan? You glance sideways, but everyone else seems as shocked as you are.
Relief floods you, knowing that Eren is still alive, but you're still more confused than
anything.

Mikasa pulls Eren up to where you are, crying. Apparently, he's alive. Armin kneels down
next to Mikasa, lacing Eren's fingers with his own and muttering under his breath.

"We should get back," Jean says.

You nod along. Titans are still coming in through the gate. The longer you stay here, the
harder it's going to be to get back safely. "Yeah. Mikasa, can you carry him?" you ask, and
you see her nod her head. "Okay. I'll cover you. Let's get going."

Getting back over the wall is when things go wrong.

Apparently, all of the patrols on the wall saw Eren come out of the neck of that titan. He,
Mikasa, and Armin are surrounded the second you get over the wall. Garrison officers rush at
the rest of you, ushering you away, and no matter how much you protest, they're adamant
about declaring it government business and shoving you away.

"You are to tell no one!" one of the officers shouts. "You hear me? We're swearing you to
secrecy until we understand more."

Everyone salutes. You force your fist up, glaring daggers at the officer.
"Dismissed, then." His eyes land on you. "Go get yourself cleaned up, cadet. Report to
medical if there's any injuries."

Ah. The blood. You force a nod, and without looking at your fellow cadets, you retreat.

You find where they've set up medical, and the area is desolate. You're not surprised; most
people who are injured end up getting eaten. Still, there's a woman there who's missing her
leg, sobbing as the doctors try to wrap it. It makes you sick to your stomach.

You locate a bathroom and throw yourself inside, looking for a mirror. How bad do you look?

Bile rises up in your throat when you see yourself. Yeah, it's bad. You're not going to be able
to get the blood stains out of your jacket or your hair- at least, not right now- but you can
clean up your face. With shaky hands, you reach for a cloth and run it under the water, then
swipe at your face.

Where's Levi? How long were Survey Corps expeditions normally? Would they be back soon
to help?

You exhale shakily. You really want to see Levi. Not just because you want to know he's
alright, but because a hug would feel really good right now.

There's the telltale sound of a cannon shot in the distance. You frown- are they firing on the
titans still in Trost? Is that really going to do anything?

Sighing to yourself, you stumble outside. All of the cadets are lining up, and you fall into step
with them, eyes searching for your friends. You're near the back; they're most likely
somewhere near the front. People are muttering, whispering theories to each other about
what's happening. You glance at the man next to you. He's shaking like a leaf.

You find a familiar face in the crowd: Bertolt. You step up next to him. "How's everyone?"
you ask.

"Confused," he replies. "How're you doing?"

You shrug. "Just trying to take this one step at a time." You glance around; there's still a few
faces missing that you want to see. "Hey, have you seen Hannah?" you ask.

As soon as you see the way Bertolt stiffens, you know the answer. But you force yourself to
listen as he says, "she- she ran out of gas and hit the ground. People tried to help but she..."
he swallows hard. "She just gave up. The, uh, the titan came to her and she walked towards
it."

You're floored. The air is sucked from your lungs. Hannah's dead- she just gave up. Losing
Franz drove her to the edge.

You haven't realized that you'd stopped walking until Bertolt's hand settles on your arm. He
doesn't speak, but he pulls lightly, and you force yourself to keep walking, blinking back
tears.
She lost her other half and consequently lost her will to live.

The realization hits you like a brick. Would that be you if you were to lose Levi? Or the other
way around? You don't know how deep his concern for you goes, but you knows yours runs
deep: if you were to lose Levi, you would lose yourself.

"Attention!"

You look up, dragging yourself out of your thoughts. The day's not over yet. Somehow, the
voice came from the top of the wall- how his voice projects so well, you have no idea. It's the
mustached Garrison commander, Commander Pixis. He's standing next to- is that Eren?

"I will now explain our strategy to recapture Trost District!" Pixis shouts. "The goal of this
operation will be to plug the hole in the broken gate!" You don't even get time to try and
comprehend what he's saying before he continues, "we have a way to seal the hole, but first I
want to introduce you to Eren Jaeger of the Training Corps!"

So it is Eren. What's he doing?

"We've been conducting top secret experiments on titan transformation, and this soldier is our
first success! He is able to purify the body of a titan and control it at his will!"

Your jaw slips open. Eren can do what now? Top secret experiments? What the hell?

"He will turn into a titan, pick up the boulder near the gate, carry it over, and use it to block
the hole!" You can't even wrap your head around the top secret experiment bit before Pixis
continues, "soldiers, your task is to protect Eren from the other titans while he's carrying the
rock!"

People starting pushing past you, running away from the wall. You look around, surprised,
and start picking their complaints: no way, we're not disposable, are you crazy?

You understand the fear, but you were taught in training that deserting your post is considered
treason. Besides, you want to kill some more titans. You have some deaths to avenge.

Hannah. Ruth. Franz. Thomas, Mina...

You swallow thickly, pinching your fingernails into your palms. Keep your shit together,
Logan. You'll see Levi soon.

Pixis continues calling out orders, saying that anyone who wishes to abandon the fight is
welcome, as long as they're willing to let their family and friends feel the same pain of
succumbing to the titans. It's a good move, honestly; those with something to lose will stay,
and those with nothing to lose have no reason to turn away in the first place.

People start moving. There's an elite squad going with Eren, and the rest of the troops have to
stay in the corner and keep the titans occupied. Stay in one area and kill as many titans as
possible? You can do that.
You manage to find Ymir and Krista in the crowd, and you grab Ymir's shoulder. "Hey. Good
to see you two."

"You too," Krista says happily, grabbing your shoulders in a quick hug. "The others said you
made it back okay, but we never saw you."

"Was cleaning myself up." You glance at Ymir, who's shooting you a glare. "You two okay?"

"We're fine," she replies, looking back up to the wall. "For now."

For now. Fair point. This could easily be a bloodbath. You nod along, following them to one
of the lifts that'll take you up the wall. When you get up to the wall, you see the rest of your
friends already in position. Jogging, you run to join them. "Armin!" you call, and the blond
boy looks up. "What's going on out there?"

"Mikasa's with the elite squad," he says, pointing out across the town. "They're going to
protect Eren. We just need to stay here and attract the titans."

You glance down. There's a few troops hanging from the wall, high enough so that they're out
of range of the titans, but low enough that they'll still pulling them all to the area.

"Do we actually need to go down and kill them?" Sasha asks.

"Probably," you reply. "Gotta give those fuckers something to go after."

"It'd be too nice if we could just stay up here," Jean says with a sigh. "Stay up here and stay
safe while that suicidal bastard gets the job done."

"If he can," Marco murmurs.

A blast from a flare gun comes from the direction of their squad. It's red. You're not sure what
the exact codes are, but you're betting that red isn't good.

"Eren!" Armin cries out, and he takes off, running along the edge of the wall.

You've never seen the blond run so fast. "Armin!" Marco calls, but he's already out of range.
"Should we go after him?"

You're about to agree and offer to go after him when a Garrison commander stops in front of
your group. "Trainees!" he calls. "Your orders are to keep the titans here and draw as many
this way as possible! Kill if necessary, but avoidance is fine as long as you draw them this
way! Understood?"

Hell, you wish you weren't just a stupid trainee and that you could do whatever you wanted
to. "Understood," you force through gritted teeth.

The commander nods as your friends salute, and he walks away. Reiner waves his blade up in
the air. "Let's go, then."
"Stay in groups, if you can," you suggest, noticing that most people have already gathered
with a partner or group.

"You need a group?" Marco calls.

Jean wrinkles his nose. "C'mon, Marco, don't offer."

You laugh. "I'm all good, thanks. I work fine on my own." Your grin softens. "Don't die."

"We won't," Krista says firmly.

With a nod, you glance down below you. Several titan faces are staring up at you, wide eyes
sizing you up for their next meal. Fine, then. You'd make them work for it.

Inhaling sharply, you jump.

The next five minutes are completely a blur. It feels like your body shuts down and goes on
autopilot. You can't keep track of how many titans you kill. You're shrouded in their steam,
moving from monster to monster and slashing nape after nape. You're aware that your job is
only to draw them away, but why do that when you could just kill them instead?

They're not the smartest creatures in the world, but they're still mildly unpredictable. Some
reach for you while others jump mouth first. Some won't stop smiling and it makes you want
to cut the smile right off of their dumb faces. Regardless, you wade through titans like you've
been doing it your whole life.

This is for all of the ones you've eaten. You stab your blade into the eye of a titan and swoop
around, changing blades midair and going for the neck. Mina and Franz. Ruth and
Hannah. You jump away to the rooftops, eyes locked on another titan. Isabel and Farlan.

You drag your blades through the back of yet another titan's neck and collapse onto the
nearby roof. You're clear, for now. "What was that, a dozen?" you grumble to yourself,
changing out your blades. This is your last set; you keep blunting them or leaving them stuck
in titans. After this, you'll be stuck with playing bait. Not fun.

You glance up after you've swapped blades. You haven't seen any of your friends in a while,
but with the job only being to lure the titans away, you're sure they're fine. They're all smart.

Surveying the area doesn't take long. No titans immediately focused on you; two you could
deal with on your right and another larger one on the left.

"All three, why not," you mutter tiredly, drawing your blades.

You head for the large one first. When it notices you coming, it throws itself at you, fingers
outstretched. You retract one of your hooks and redirect yourself, slicing through its fingers
as you go. You drop to the ground- that's one of the only advantages of the larger ones, they
can't go low very well- and slash through its ankles.

The titan buckles, and as it does, you head for the nape, cutting through it easily. Perched on
the titan's skull, you brace yourself as the titan hits the ground.
"Trainee Logan!"

Whenever trainee precedes your name, you know it's coming from someone you'd rather not
deal with. With a stifled groan, you fly up to the roof before you look to see who it is: to your
surprise, it's Orlin, who you rescued earlier. He waves a hand at you, and you use your gear to
zoom over to him.

You land, stumbling across the roof. You hadn't even realized how tired you were. "Sir," you
say.

Orlin eyes you warily. "There's been a yellow flare, a few minutes ago. The mission was
successful."

You straighten up, surprised. You'd missed it? You'd been so wrapped up in slaughtering the
titans. "Thank fuck," you say happily, not bothering to watch your language. You're dead
exhausted and you've killed at least two dozen titans today; you think you've earned the right
to curse.

"Logan," Orlin says, "the order was to lure them away."

"Yes, sir."

"Yet you were killing them."

"Isn't that better?"

"Typically, when given the opportunity, you'll see people preferring to avoid the titans rather
than choose to engage in combat," he says, raising an eyebrow.

You shrug tiredly. "Is that so. I hadn't noticed."

Orlin huffs, apparently not impressed with your nonchalant attitude. "Trainee Logan, are you
aware of how many titans you killed?"

"Lots," you say.

"Are you trying to be smart with me?"

"Yes, sir, I am," you reply pleasantly, fed up with his attitude. "Sorry, but I lost count after I
hit twenty." Not true- you hadn't been counting in the first place. But you're sure that your kill
count is in the twenties by now.

His mouth opens, then closes. "Retreat to the wall, trainee. We're done here."

Your shoulders sag. "Good," you say in relief, "because I'm down to my last blades."

Orlin's eyes focus on something behind you, and then they widen with panic. You know what
he's looking at before he says it. "Titan!" he gasps, and you spin around. Sure enough, there's
a ten meter one lumbering towards you- it looks like an abnormal with the way it's swinging
its arms.
"I can handle this," you say, drawing your blades. "We can-"

You don't even get the chance.

Someone shoots out of nowhere and slices through the titan's neck so quickly that your eyes
can barely keep up. Your lips part as the abnormal titan crashes down to the street. The figure
who sliced down the titan shoots over to your roof. They're wearing a green cloak- the
Survey Corps. As soon as their hood falls back and you see that familiar onyx hair, you can
feel your body slump in relief.

He looks at you, and it takes a lot of effort not to sprint over to him right away. Levi.

"Levi," you say with a soft sigh, relieved.

He meets your eyes, and you can see the tension fade out of his shoulders as he straightens
up. You step towards him, then stop a few feet away from him, pausing. Now's not the time
for a touching reunion, as much as you want to hug him right now. You'll have to wait.

Levi's eyes sweep over your figure. "You're okay?" he asks.

You nod, blades dropping down to touch the roof. "You?"

He nods. "We got a run down of what's going on from the squad by the gate. Let's clear out."
His eyes shift to Orlin behind you. "Orlin."

"Levi," he replies shortly.

Levi glances back at you. "Got enough gas?"

"I think so."

"Then let's go." He looks back to Orlin. "Pick up your feet, old man. Let's get on with it."

You hide your smirk as Orlin sputters something from behind you, and you follow Levi
across the rooftops and to a clear area in the wall with no titans around it. Levi's ridiculously
fast, which you already knew, but seeing him zip around on the battlegrounds is something
else.

When you look up at the walls, you can see others in green cloaks perched up high. The
Survey Corps must've just gotten back. And Orlin mentioned a successful mission- that
means Eren was able to plug that hole in the wall after all. Thank god.

It's a victory. But at what cost? How many of your friends died today?

You zoom up to the wall and touch your feet down. Immediately, you sink to your knees,
your exhaustion catching up with you. Coughing, you collapse against the top of the wall,
letting your eyes shut and curling in on yourself.

It's all starting to catch up with you. Your tiredness, the deaths, the horrors you've seen-
A hand grabs your shoulder. "Logan."

You look up, blinking back the heat pushing behind your eyes.

Levi's crouched down next to you. He squeezes your shoulder, his face impassive. "I know,"
he murmurs, "but you've got to keep it together. There's eyes on you."

You hadn't even realized. You force a nod.

"They're going to send you back to your barracks after this is all over," Levi says calmly.
"Keep it together until then."

Your barracks? The ones you share with Mina, Hannah, Ruth- all girls who are dead now? "I
can't," you say, your voice choked. "I can't go back there. I can't."

Levi opens his mouth as if to protest, but he must see the look in your eyes, because he sighs,
shutting his mouth. He squeezes your shoulder briefly as if to say he understands- he
definitely does. "Alright," he murmurs. "Survey Corps headquarters. Main building, second
floor on the west side, third window from the front. It's my room. I'll let you in."

He's giving himself up to you as support- as comfort. You exhale shakily, shoulders slumping
in relief, and you nod. "Thank you," you murmur.

He nods. "Now get up."

You push yourself to your feet, gathering your wits. There'll be time to grieve later. You just
need to hold yourself together for a little longer.

"Trainee Logan."

Levi lets go of your shoulder, nods one last time to you, then heads off down the wall,
presumably to meet up with some other officials. You smile at him weakly, then you turn to
the voice. It's a commander of the Garrison. Tiredly, you pull up your salute. "Yes, sir."

"Your orders were to lure the titans away."

"Yes, sir."

"And what did you do instead?"

"Killed them. Sir."

The Garrison commander's eyebrows knit together, and you're tempted to throw yourself
back down the wall and go back to dealing with the titans. That'd probably be easier. "Well,
we can't really argue with your outcome," the commander says with a sigh, "but prioritize
your life more in the future. We can take them out with the cannons."

You frown. "Prioritize my life, sir?" you question. "I'm alive and fine."
"We'd rather you take the option that grants you a higher chance of survival." He sighs. "How
many did you kill?"

You shrug. "I lost count, sir."

He pauses. "You... lost count."

"If I had to guess, I'd say around two dozen." You don't even have it in you to shrug anymore.
"I apologize, sir. In the future, I'll let the titans live."

The sarcasm slips out without meaning to, and now you really want to pitch yourself back
down the wall.

The Garrison commander's mouth opens, but before he can get a word out, someone calls,
"it's true." You glance over your shoulder, and to your surprise, Orlin is walking across the
wall towards you two. "She saved my life," he says, eyes flickering to you. "And she's
definitely killed as many as she says she has. We owe her our thanks, at the very least."

"Alright," the other Garrison commander says, and you look up to him in surprise. "Thank
you, Trainee Logan. You've done enough for today. Go change into some of the spare
clothing in the Garrison change post. There's bunks there that we've arranged for you trainees
to stay in for the night."

Your shoulders slump. The gratitude is nice, but what followed was even nicer. Getting
changed and getting a bed that wasn't in your training barracks were fantastic. Technically,
you don't have to use Levi's place now, but still- you're not going to pass up on the offer he's
given you.

You salute both of them once more, surprised by both Orlin's defense and the other officer's
admission of your success. They both head off, and you glance behind you, looking for
anyone you recognize. Levi is long gone, and you can't see anyone else from the training
cadets. You swallow hard- hopefully they've all cleared out already.

With a sigh, you do the only thing you can. You maneuver down the wall and head to the
Garrison outpost.

You force yourself to take a bath. It's nice because you finally have an opportunity to scrub
yourself free of the dried blood in your hair and on your skin, but it also leaves you alone
with your thoughts, which you definitely don't need right now. So you only bathe for as long
as you have something to do with your hands: washing your hair, scrubbing down your body,
rubbing at your skin so hard that it feels raw.

You change into clean clothes: a grey sweatshirt and brown pants. Inconspicuous enough.
You find one of the makeshift ration posts and grab something to substitute for dinner- your
appetite isn't great, but you eat it anyways. Throwing on a coat, you head towards the stables.

You've been to the Survey Corps headquarters before (once, when Hange wanted to show you
around before you started training) and even though it's been a while, you've made sure to
remember where it is. Grabbing one of the horses, you urge it onwards. It's already sunset,
but the ride isn't long- you can definitely make it before nightfall.

Remembering Levi's instructions, you leave your horse in one of the stables- there's empty
spots, probably from casualties of their expedition today- and head to the west side of the
main building.

"Which one," you muse to yourself. Second floor... third from the front or the back? The third
room from the back is dark with the curtains closed, but the third from the front has the
curtains split open a crack and you can see the soft glow of a lantern inside.

"Front," you decide, and you start to scale the wall.

Perhaps whoever was designing the Survey Corps building was very much against late night
visitors: the footholds and ledges to grip are few and far between. It's not unmanageable, at
least, and you're grateful for your nimbleness: you're able to grab most of the holds and find
good places for your feet. You wonder what you did to become so good at climbing. Maybe
just a lot of underground practice.

You peek through the crack in the curtains of the lit room. Sure enough, it's Levi. His room is
fairly empty: a bed, nightstand with a lantern, and a desk with a small stool. Levi himself is
sitting on his bed, head tipped against the wall, eyes shut.

Lightly, you knock on the window. Levi's eyes shoot open, and when he realizes it's you, he
sits himself up from his bed and moves to open the window.

"Hi," you whisper as soon as the window's open. You ease yourself inside, and Levi closes it
behind you. "Your room is nice," you say awkwardly, surveying it. It's very clean- you feel
like every step you take could ruin the overall pristine state of the room.

"Perks of being a corporal," Levi says with a shrug. "Everything else is shit, but I get my own
room."

You hum in reply. You look back to him as Levi shuts the curtains, then turns back to you.
Silence follows. It's not exactly awkward, but you're not sure what to say.

"There's a place for me at a Garrison post," you say quietly.

Levi raises his eyebrows.

"If you didn't want me here," you clarify.

"You're here now, aren't you?"

Well, that's true enough. Levi pads over to his bed and takes a seat; you hesitate for a moment
before taking a seat next to him. You're not sure how much space to give him- it's been
months since you've last been alone together and you're not entirely sure how to proceed.

The anxiety surrounding your place with Levi fades as the events of today start to catch up to
you. God, it feels like ages ago.
"They put me in rearguard," you start.

Levi stays quiet, a silent listener next to you.

"They wanted the best evacuating the population. When evacuation finished, I went back to
middle guard, but..." you exhale shakily, and the heat behind your eyes burns painfully as you
try to keep the tears at bay. "They were all dead," you croak out. "Mina, Thomas, and Franz-
and then Ruth died-" you swallow hard. "Ruth died saving me and I watched..."

You need to get this out. You need to say it. "She was torn apart above me," you manage, and
saying it out loud makes it real. You keep your eyes trained down on the floor; you don't want
Levi to see you trying not to cry. "Everyone died. And- and I don't even know if all of my
friends are okay, from luring the titans in, but I don't want to check because..."

C'mon, don't cry, don't cry. "I don't want to know," you whisper. "I don't want to know if
more of them died, I can't handle it. I can't."

He doesn't say a word. He only listens.

"I can't let anyone else die." You wipe at your eyes. "I- I need to join the Survey Corps, I
need to keep people alive as long as I can. I can't... I can't let anyone else die."

Levi finally speaks up. "Their deaths won't be in vain."

You nod vigorously, agreeing with him. "No. I'll join the Survey Corps and make sure that
they aren't."

Silence ensues once again. You force yourself to inhale and exhale slowly, getting yourself
under control.

Eventually, you force out, "does it ever get easier?"

He stands up. You watch Levi through blurry eyes as he pads to his desk and opens up the
bottom drawer. Your jaw slips open: badges. Heaps and heaps of Survey Corps badges, piled
so high that you're not sure how many more are going to fit in.

Levi meets your eyes. "No," he says calmly. "It doesn't."

He keeps the badges of the deceased. Your heart twists in your chest.

Levi doesn't sit down right away. He stays by the desk for a moment, eyes narrowed at you.
"I got a rundown of what happened from some of the cadets," he says. "They told me about
how they ran out of gas and both you and Ackerman volunteered to keep the titans off of
them so everyone could get to HQ."

You don't say anything, because you think you know where this is going.

"Fucking- fucking volunteered," Levi mutters, exasperation seeping into his tone. "You
volunteered to die?"
"No," you protest immediately. "No- I just knew I was the best chance of getting the most
people back to base, and-"

"Bullshit," he snaps. "That wasn't a tactical decision. That was suicide."

You press your lips together in a flat line, eyes narrowed at the floor. "It was the best choice
to save the most people," you start.

He interrupts you. "I don't give a shit. You can't be pulling that- that self-sacrificing bullshit.
You can't," Levi says, and you think you hear his voice crack as he says, "you told me you
wouldn't. You can't. You can't die on me."

You blink back your tears. You don't reply.

Levi waits by the desk, leaning heavily against it, waiting for a response.

"Hannah died today," you whisper, putting forth one of the more horrific deaths from today.
"I told you about her. She and Franz- they've been inseparable for years. Everyone teased
them about being a married couple."

Levi eyes you carefully. Then, he moves back towards the bed and sits down again.

You swallow hard and continue, your eyes glued to the floor and you force out, "I didn't see
Franz die, but when I found Hannah, she was trying to resuscitate him. He was already dead-
missing his legs. There wasn't any hope, but she... she wouldn't leave. I tried to pull her away
and she kept refusing.

"I finally convinced her to leave him." God, tears are starting to rise up again. You blink
rapidly in an attempt to keep them back. "But I never saw her at HQ. I found out later that she
let a titan eat her. She'd given up."

Levi is dead still next to you.

"I don't know..." your insecurities shine through as you manage, "I don't know how much you
care for me, but I know that- that if I lost you, I'd- I'd probably be as much of a wreck as she
was- and I- I wouldn't give up but- but I'd-"

It's getting harder to breathe; your chest hurts from the extended effort to keep yourself from
crying. But you need to finish. "You're my anchor," you croak out, exhaling shakily. "If I lost
you, I'd break. Maybe it's not the same-"

"It's the same," Levi interrupts.

You blink, then finally force yourself to meet his eyes.

"We're soldiers," he say quietly, grey eyes boring into you. "We deal with the battle at hand
and we grieve afterwards." His voice quiets as he adds. "But yeah. It's the same for me. So...
no more suicidal decisions."

You nod blearily. "I promise."

 He nods in return, his eyes gentle. "Good."

Slowly, Levi reaches out, and his hand stops just before he can touch your shoulder. Your
breath hitches in your throat. What is he doing?

"You can cry," Levi murmurs, and his fingers gently touch your cheek. "I know you don't
want to. But it's just me."

It's just me.

It's so much more than 'just him'. Regardless, the physical touch breaks you: your shoulders
give out as you slump and a sob rips through your throat. You feel him reach out, pulling his
arm around your shoulders, and you lean into his touch, desperate for comfort. Levi twists
and falls, maneuvering the two of you so that you're laying down on his bed, and you cry into
his shirt. His arm tightens around you, fingers lacing into your hair as he holds you to him.

You fall asleep like that, laying against Levi, worn out from tears. You thank both the
exhaustion and Levi's warmth for the lack of nightmares that night.

Chapter End Notes

Hello friends, new and old! Thanks for sticking with me thus far. I've finally got
something planned out- I think I've got up to halfway through season three
storyboarded- and I'm super excited to get on with it.

I apologize for any grammatical errors- currently running on a few hours of sleep with a
statistics assignment looming over my head. I detest stats with every fiber of my being.

Thank you guys for reading and all of your kind support!! See you next Friday!! <3
 1 - 12
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"What do you know about Eren Jaeger?"

You shrug, leaning forward against the table. "Nothing."

The Military Police brigade member that's been questioning you raises an eyebrow. She
glances sideways at her counterpart, who shrugs. "You know nothing about Eren Jaeger, the
boy who can turn into a titan?" she says.

You shrug again, leaning backwards in your chair. "Nothing you don't already know. I wasn't
close with the kid."

"Did he ever display any suspicious behavior?" the man asks, crossing his arms.

"Nah. Asked some stupid questions, sure, but nothing suspicious."

"Stupid questions?"

Your lips twitch as you recall your conversations at the mess hall table. "We always used to
joke that all of his questions were stupid," you muse to yourself, but your mood instantly falls
when you think about those fun times as trainees and how many you've lost. And how many
you don't even know that you've lost.

"Miss Logan."

You blink yourself out of your thoughts. "Oh. He always asked about training. How to get
better. He always wanted to master every technique. Always went on and on about how he
wanted to kill all of the titans."

The two people interrogating you both glance at each other, sharing some sort of secret look.

"Are we done here?" you ask. "Because I have to go find out how many of my friends died."

Neither of the police say anything else.

Satisfied, you stand up, push in your chair, and march out of the interrogation room.

It's been a few days since the Battle of Trost, as people are calling it. For a full day, the
cannons didn't stop firing, finishing off every titan down there. They'd left two titans and
captured them- Hange was ecstatic. Once they'd found out you were alive, they'd wanted a
full recap of the battle and everything you'd seen about Eren.

Eren. That dumbass was the hot topic right now. He could turn into a titan- a
fucking titan. And he'd done it to close the hole in the wall. It didn't make any sense to you.
The military were 'talking to' (you called it interrogating) any of Eren's friends, trying to
gather any sort of intelligence on him. At the very least, it had let you know that he was alive,
and by digging a bit further, you found out Mikasa and Armin were alive as well.

You don't know about anyone else. You've refused to go inside Trost and help identify bodies
because you're not sure you can handle that.

However, you can only avoid it for so long. When officials claim that Trost has officially
been cleared, there's a massive bonfire to burn the dead. And then, you finally force yourself
to go.

Time to figure out who made it through.

You haven't seen Levi since you left his room the morning after the Battle of Trost. He hadn't
kissed you or anything like that; he'd just said he had work to do and he'd see you at
graduation. In a way, you're glad that his comfort had just been that: comfort. No romantic
feelings involved. Especially after an ordeal like that.

You miss him, though. You could really use him right now. But you need to learn to handle
this on your own- especially if you're going to be in the Survey Corps.

"C'mon, Logan, keep your shit together," you grumble.

You can smell the fire as you move closer. You're trying not to get your hopes up, but the
second you see your friends, you're going to feel a lot better.

Your eyes scan the crowd, avoiding looking at all the bodies piled high, blazing with heat.
Then, you catch a glimpse of a bald head and nearly cry out: Connie. And that means the girl
next to him with the ponytail is Sasha.

"Connie," you call, your voice hoarse. "Connie!"

The boy turns around, and his eyes light up when he sees you. "Oh my god, Logan!" he cries
out, and several other trainees turn to follow his gaze. Yes- you see Reiner and Bertolt,
Annie, Ymir and Krista. More of your friends- more people made it.

You grab Connie in a bear hug, and Sasha joins in, squeezing you tight. "You guys made it,"
you mumble, gripping the back of Connie's jacket in your fist.

"Where've you been?" Reiner demands, and he pulls you in for a hug next. God this man
gives good hugs.

Bertolt, as sheepish as he is, even gives you a hug too. "We knew you couldn't be dead, but
we hadn't heard from you," he murmurs into your hair.

You pull back, forcing your shoulders to relax. "I needed to take care of some things," you
lie, reaching out to Krista for a hug. Ymir joins in with some sort of lopsided, one-armed hug.
"I'm so glad you all made it through."

"We're glad you're okay," Krista murmurs as she pulls back, smiling.
You smile back, then take another look around. There's still two people missing. "Where's
Marco?" you ask. "And Jean?"

Immediately, the atmosphere crumbles. You want to sink into the ground, because there's no
way those two could possibly be-

"We lost Marco," Connie forces out, swallowing.

"Jean's over there," Sasha adds, pointing to a separate burning pile.

You glance to where she's pointing, and you swallow hard. Jean and Marco had been nearly
inseparable through training- he lost his other half. You walk over to him, head spinning.

Marco, who'd always apologize on his friend's behalf. Marco, who would've been a fantastic
squad leader one day. Marco, who had always been quick to defend you.

The sweetest boy in training.

He didn't deserve this.

Blinking back tears, you make your way over to Jean. He glances up when you get close,
then looks back at the fire. "Logan," he greets quietly. "Figured you'd be alive."

"Alive and kicking," you reply.

You're trying to figure out how to word your apology, tell Jean how sorry you are for his loss.
It's not just his loss but everyone's loss- but Jean is taking it the hardest. Deciding that actions
speak louder than words, you crouch down next to him and wrap your arms around his
shoulders.

Jean doesn't say a word. He leans into you, and you feel his shoulders shake. You tighten
your grip, needing the hug as much as he does.

Marco.

Eventually, Jean pushes himself away from you, and he stands up. You follow him back to
the other cadets, who are all staring at the fire. "Hey, you guys," Jean says. "Have you
decided which branch of the military you're going to apply to?"

You're surprised by the question- the timing of it. But Jean has a haunted look in his eyes, one
that you recognize.

"I'm..." he exhales, and you can see that he's trembling. You want to lend him a hand, just let
him know he's not alone- but something tells you he needs to get through this himself. "I'm
going to join the Survey Corps."

Survey Corps? Jean?

Ah. So you're not the only one feeling this way, then. A need to make use of all the deaths
today- make them all worth something.
Silently, the rest of you watch the smoke curl up into the sky, clouding the stars.

The two captured titans were killed.

Hange was devastated. They were an absolute wreck at the scene. Although you'll never
understand Hange's connection with the titans or why the loss was so personal for them, you
know it was a loss for humanity. Two captured titans could've helped research; helped find
new ways to kill the titans.

The military check everyone's gear to see if they can register whose was used, but no one's
turns up as misused. You're not sure who did it, but you're more on guard than ever.

The timing of the attack still bothers you. Right as the Survey Corps were out- that can't be a
coincidence.

Regardless, the recruit solicitation ceremony rolls on. You, alongside everyone else in the
104th- everyone remaining, that is- line up in front of the stage for the Survey Corps speech.
You can spy Eren hiding in the wings. Levi's there too, glued next to Eren. You'd hear
through rumors that he'd been assigned as Eren's personal watchdog. He's the best man for
the task, honestly- but you wish he wasn't. You haven't been alone with him in a while, and
even though you're about to join the Survey Corps, you highly doubt you're going to get the
chance.

"I am Survey Corps commander Erwin Smith," Erwin calls from the center of the stage.
You're impressed with how he commands himself: holding his head high, voice reaching
everyone without sounding like he's shouting. "The King has granted me authority over all
Survey Corps activity. Today, you choose which division to join. The reason I'm up here is to
invite you to become a part of the Survey Corps."

You fidget in anticipation. This is it. You're going to join.

"But I should warn you," he continues. "In the recent titan attack, everyone here has
experienced what the average excursion outside is like. I'm sure nothing else in your lives
comes close to it." His eyes flicker to you briefly, then back up. "Though you're trainees,
you've experienced sacrifices."

Erwin keeps talking, and the more he does, the more hopeful you feel. He's describing Eren's
use and their plan to take back Wall Maria. You clench your hands into fists, then release,
calming yourself.

"During those four years," Erwin says firmly, referring to the massacre of a large portion of
the population after Wall Maria fell, "over ninety percent of the Survey Corps have died."

That's... depressing.

Then it gets worse. As Erwin talks statistics and casualties, you can feel the people next to
you grow restless. You knew that survival rates in the Survey Corps were rather dismal, sure,
but you hadn't expected him to be blunt with it. You swallow hard, forcing yourself to calm
down. You know that it's going to be dangerous. You know. You're still signing up for this.

"That's all," Erwin says eventually, arms behind his back. "Those of you who wish to join the
other divisions are dismissed."

Immediately, people start walking by you. You steel yourself, willing your feet to stay firmly
rooted in the ground. Not many people are hanging around; there's a few that hesitate, then
follow the rest of the crowd.

This is it. You're joining the Survey Corps; you're going to be with Levi.

Eventually, everyone who wanted to leave has left. You do a quick headcount: twenty-two
people. You can hear Sasha stifling her cries from behind you.

"Very well," Erwin says, his voice booming. He salutes. "I welcome the newest members of
the Survey Corps! This is my real salute, devote your hearts to the cause!"

You salute in return, chorusing "yes, sir!" with everyone else. So many of your friends
stayed- just about all of the surviving ones. Mikasa and Armin are near the front, and you see
Krista standing next to Ymir. Sasha and Connie are standing with Jean, and Reiner is over
with Bertolt. They've all seen the horrors, and they're still going to go forward with it.

They're tough. But it's a lot of people to protect- you're going to have to work hard.

One month until your first expedition.

Your days are filled with training. Horseback riding, studying formations, vertical
maneuvering practice. It's not any more intense than cadet training, but it's geared specifically
to work in the Survey Corps, and the purpose behind it is clear. You need to master this
training to have the best possible chance against the titans.

But you haven't seen Levi since that brief glimpse of him at the ceremony, and it's driving
you mad.

The two of you had agreed to talk about this- whatever this is- after graduation. Now
graduation has come and gone, and Levi's not here. You understand, sure. He's got special
orders with his stupid special ops squad to keep an eye on Eren and oversee his training.
Doesn't mean you have to like it.

It doesn't help that people are giving you weird stares. They've probably heard about you,
then: former Survey Corps member with amnesia. Lovely. It was well over five years ago
anyways- it's not like there's anyone here you would know from back then.

Days goes by. You pine for Levi more than ever.

Things start looking up when Erwin calls you into his office after breakfast one day. Your
friends bid you goodbye from the table- knowing them, they're assuming it has something to
do with your previous time running with the Corps. Honestly? You're not sure what it's about.

You follow Erwin to his office. It's clean, albeit a bit busy: desks is piled with paperwork,
arranged neatly in stacks. There's a lantern acting as a paperweight on a few loose sheets.
Erwin gestures for you to take a seat, and you pull up one of the spare stools.

"Is this about what I think it is?" you ask, scooting in your chair.

Erwin sits down at his own chair behind his desk. "What do you think this is about, Logan?"

You shrug. "The same thing everyone else thinks it's about. My time in the Corps before this
happened," you say, tapping the side of your head twice your knuckle.

He smiles. "No, actually. I don't believe there's anything you need to know from back then
that would help me or you, so I don't need to pick your brain."

"Oh." You fidget with the hem of your shirt. "Then I'm drawing a blank, sir."

"This is about Levi."

Immediately, you stiffen.

"I understand you're used to periods of time apart from your training," Erwin says casually,
lacing his fingers together. "But I also understand that you committed yourself to three years
of training so that you could stand here with him, and you haven't seen him in much too
long."

Your throat feels very dry. Does Erwin know? How much does Erwin know?

"I don't know the nature of your relationship," he says, raising a hand. Your shoulders deflate
slightly. "And I'm sorry, but I cannot permit personal visitation during training." Well, you
knew that much already. Erwin continues. "But I know you've been exceeding all
expectations in training. You've been working very hard- overworking yourself, perhaps."

You blink. What does that have to do with Levi? And you wouldn't say you've been
overworking yourself exactly- you feel fine. "Sir?"

Erwin's eyebrows knit together. "I wouldn't be surprised- and neither would any of the other
squad leaders- if you required an afternoon off to nurse yourself back to health. We need all
of our shoulders at their peak for our expedition in a week."

He's giving you an afternoon off?

"And of course," Erwin goes on, "you would remain in your barracks for the entire afternoon.
Naturally, I couldn't permit you to leave- especially not to leave Survey Corps headquarters."

"Sir?"

"Very much against the rules if you're caught," he says. "It'd be a shame if you found out that
Mike would be in the stables around lunch, readying you a horse. Do you remember Mike?"
Mike had been the one to teach you how to ride a horse in the first place. "Yes, sir, I do."

"Ah, good. Because I can't inform you of how to make your way to where Levi is," Erwin
says slowly. "But he can. What a shame it would be if you spent your afternoon off stealing a
horse from the stable with Mike's assistance and going to visit Levi."

Oh.

You've been putting the pieces together, but Erwin's last sentence solidified it. "Of course,
sir," you agree, crossing your arms. "It's a dangerous task, but I could be back by dinner
without anyone knowing."

"Hypothetically," Erwin adds.

"Hypothetically," you agree.

"Wonderful. Obviously, I cannot tell you any of this or assist you in any way," he says, lips
twitching up into a smirk. "All I can do is advise you to make the most of your afternoon
off."

You do your best not to fidget in excitement in your seat. "Thank you, sir. I most definitely
will."

"Thank you, Logan. I'll see you at lunch and then at dinner."

"I'll see you then, sir," you say giddily, trying not to run to the door.

As soon as Erwin's office door is closed behind you, you run down the hall, finding yourself
a corner to hide in, and then you squeal to yourself. You can't even hide your grin anymore;
you're going to go see Levi.

Training has never gone more slowly. You're more restless than ever, zooming around in the
ODM gear, trying to practice everything Levi drilled into you but having a hard time
focusing. You're going to see Levi today; how can they expect you to focus?

At lunch, you play your part. "I'm not feeling that well," you tell your friends. "I'm going to
the nurse."

"Stomachache?" Krista asks, frowning.

You shrug, then nod. "Yeah, kinda. I just feel sort of sluggish."

"Sounds like excuses to me," Jean says with a roll of his eyes.

"Says the one who told the instructor he couldn't work because it was cold outside."

"Well, it was!"

Regardless, everyone waves goodbye to you and tells you to feel better as you head away
from the lunch table. As soon as you're out of sight, you break into a run, headed for the
stables. You can hardly contain your excitement anymore.

You make it to the stables, breathless, and throw open the door. You look around: lots of
horses, no Mike. Frowning, you step inside.

"Ah. Logan."

You glance up. Mike's on the far side of the stables, raising a hand at you, and you head over
to him. "Mike!" you say happily, glancing at the horse next to him. Mike is holding the
horse's reins, and there's already a saddle set up. "Good to see you."

He nods. "You too. Survived training?"

"Meh. Kind of boring, but I got through. Good to see that you're still..." you trail off, then
shrug. "Alive."

"Surprised?" he asks.

"No, I guess, but..." you shrug. "Didn't really think I would know anyone other than Hange
and Levi. So this is a nice surprise."

Mike nods, satisfied with your answer. He hands you the reins. "So, you're sick today."

"That I am," you say, accepting the reins. "Terribly so."

"Terrible." Mike holds the horse steady as you thrust your boot into the stirrup, then hoist
yourself up. "Are you still as bad as riding as you used to be?"

You scowl. "No! I got better at it."

"Here's hoping, because you're in for a trip." Mike walks the horse towards the doors, and
you shift your weight as the horse walks, adjusting itself. "They're at the old headquarters,"
he says, pointing at a wide trail that leads into the woods, near the back of the field. "Follow
that trail. Maybe forty minutes in, you'll hit a fork. Take the left. You're going to hit a second
intersection, stay straight."

"Left, then straight," you echo. "Got it."

"Trip will take a little over an hour." He pats the side of the horse. "You'll be back for
dinner?"

"I will," you confirm. "Does Levi know I'm coming?"

"No." Mike taps one of the packs that's attached to the horse's saddle. "They think they're
getting resupplies of food today. You're got those supplies in here."

You nod, trying not to fidget. You just want to get going. "Alright. Am I good to go?"

He nods. "Good to go. Ride safe."

"I will." Before you squeeze the horse to go, you look back at Mike. "Thank you," you say
genuinely. "I- I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. From both you and Erwin."

"Levi needs this as much as you do," Mike says casually. "At least, that's what Erwin told
me."

Nodding, you turn back to the woods and squeeze your calves around the horse. It breaks into
a canter, and you lower yourself closer to the saddle as the horse heads into the woods.

In all fairness, the hour-long ride seems to fly by. It's refreshing, riding a horse through the
woods, and you're repeating Mike's instructions so often in your head that you may as well
have them tattooed at this point. You hit the fork in the path and take a left, bringing you to a
slightly more narrow trail, and when the path opens up into an intersection, you continue on
straight.

When you finally have the old castle in your sites, you actually gasp out loud. It's gorgeous,
albeit worn down. Vines are creeping up some of the larger towers. You can see why they
changed to the newer headquarters; this feels a bit old fashioned, and a little bit small
compared to where the Corps are located now.

"Easy, girl," you murmur, slowing your horse down as you trot into the clearing. You don't
hear the telltale whir of any maneuver gear, so there should be people in the building- right?

You slow down even more and try to listen. Then, you hear a voice. "Hey, trainee."

You turn your head. There's a man with long blond hair pulled back into a low bun with a
hand raised towards you. "I've got your supplies," you say, remembering the packs Mike had
sent you with. "Where do you want them dropped off?"

"Here's fine," he says. "We'll bring them inside."

Nodding, you hop off of your horse and start grabbing the packs. "Thanks," you say
awkwardly as he takes them from you, nodding stoically as he walks them inside.

"Is that our food?" someone asks, and another man steps outside. "Oh! Who'd they send us
this time?"

"Oluo, don't be rude," another man says with a sigh, stepping out after the brown-haired man.
This man is tall- hell, they're all tall- and he's got a short crop of dark hair. "I'm Gunther," he
greets, holding out his hand. You shake it. "Sorry. We just expected our usual messenger."

"Name's Oluo," the other man says, waving at you.

"The man who greeted you was Eld," Gunther says, and he opens his arms. You hand him
one of the packs that had been clipped onto your saddle. "He's not one for many words."

Oluo steps forward, removing some of the supply packs from the saddle himself. "So, you're
new blood?" he asks, leering at you. "Transfer or cadet graduate?"

"Cadet," you reply, removing the last of the supply packs. "104th."
"Oh, so you'll know Eren, then," a lighter voice calls, and you look the doorway. It's a young
woman with short hair- she looks like she's about Levi's height. "Hi, I'm Petra," she says,
smiling. "Nice to meet you. Sorry if the boys were rude."

You laugh. "We had some oddballs in the 104th. Nothing I'm not used to."

"No kidding," Oluo says as he walks by. "A kid who can turn into a titan! Yeah, I'd say that's
odd."

"Want me to get him?" Petra asks, gesturing with her hand to the interior of the castle. "It's
our cleaning hours, so he's just inside."

You shrug, then nod. "Sure. Wouldn't mind saying hi."

She nods, then vanishes inside. Eld returns to take the last of the supply packs from you, and
you guide your horse to the side, tying the reins off to one of the posts in the wall.

When you wander back to where you met Levi's squad, you see Eren coming through the
doorway. He's got a white kerchief wrapped around his mouth and cleaning supplies in hand.
When he sees you, he grins, setting the supplies aside. "Logan! Good to see you!"

"You too!" you say. You open your arms, and Eren steps towards you, giving you a quick
hug. "Haven't seen you since they pulled you out of the back of that titan's neck."

Eren laughs weakly. "Ah, well. It's been crazy ever since."

"Oh, I bet."

"Sorry, did you just say Logan?" someone calls, and you and Eren turn to see Oluo standing
in the doorway. His eyes are wide. "You- you're Logan? The one who killed, like, two dozen
titans? Personal training from Captain Levi? That Logan?"

You raise your eyebrows. "Unless you know another Logan?"

"Holy shit!" Oluo gestures to someone inside, and you see the other three come back to the
door. "This is Logan."

You're not sure why this is such a revelation. "Oh, cool," Gunther says, nodding to you.
"We've heard stories. Nice to officially meet you."

They've... heard stories? Yikes.

"I thought you'd be male," Oluo says bluntly. "Logan's a guy's name. It made more sense-
didn't think Captain Levi would be giving private training to a girl."

Petra sighs. "Oluo, that's sexist."

"What? I'm just saying-"

"Logan's my last name," you say, trying to clear the air.

"Well, in my defense, you certainly don't look like you could kill a shit ton of titans," the man
says with a snort, and your shoulders tense. "You don't look like much."

Eren sighs next to you. "This won't be good."

"Why don't you fight me and find out?" you challenge, raising an eyebrow.

Oluo laughs. "C'mon, we're the special ops squad. We ain't got time for that."

You shrug casually. "Alright. If you don't think you can take me on, that's fine- just say so."

Gunther whistles behind Oluo. "Sounds like you've got a challenger, Oluo."

Petra rolls her eyes. "Come on, you guys. We should be cleaning."

"Nah, Levi can wait," you say, cracking your knuckles. Eren sighs again, pressing his palms
to his forehead. "C'mon, old man. Can't take me?"

"He's Corporal Levi to you, girl," Oluo snaps, glaring at you.

"Oluo," Eld warns.

There's a bang of a door inside, and everyone immediately straightens up. You hear footsteps,
and you feel butterflies in your stomach because you know exactly who it is before you hear
his voice. "Oi, there'd better be a good reason for..."

Levi's eyes lock on yours, and he trails off.

"Supply drop off, Captain," Eld says quietly.

"Logan," Levi says eventually, his voice carefully controlled. "Shouldn't you be training?"

Well, it's better than what the fuck are you doing here. "Probably," you agree. "Commander
Erwin gave me the afternoon off. Said I was overworking myself and it wouldn't hurt to take
a ride."

Judging by the way Levi scowls, he knows exactly what Erwin was thinking. Good. "This is
the person you gave private training to?" Oluo asks. His lack of filter makes you cringe.
"Captain, I-"

"Oluo, the kitchen still looks like a titan took a shit in it," Levi interjects. He looks to Eren.
"Eren. Go with Eld and Gunther. Go over formations. Expedition is in a week and you still
don't know shit. Petra, help Oluo in the kitchen so he doesn't burn it down." He turns to you
last. "If you're here, you can make yourself useful. You're cleaning."

"Yes, sir," everyone echoes. Eren shoots you a sympathetic smile before he squeezes past
you, following Eld and Gunther. Oluo is grumbling something under his breath, but he still
traipses inside, Petra shaking her head at him with a smile on her face as she follows.

You and Levi remain still, standing in the open area, waiting for someone to say something.
Eventually, you crack. "I missed you," you murmur.

Levi's expression softens slightly. Sighing, he beckons you towards him. "Come on.
Upstairs."

"Cleaning?" you say in surprise. "Seriously?"

He doesn't reply. Sighing, you follow him through the hallways. As you pass the kitchen, you
glance inside. Both Oluo and Petra are scrubbing at the underside of cupboards, bickering.

"The squad seems like fun, at least," you muse as Levi leads you up a set of stairs.

Levi shrugs. "They're good. Smart."

You nod along. "Well, they're handpicked by you, right? Then they're the best of the best. At
least, that's what everyone calls them back at base."

"How's training?"

"It's alright." Levi heads down another hallway. You step into line next to him. "Eren's a little
shit. I get why you complained about him."

You laugh. "Hey, at least he's not my problem anymore."

"Was Oluo giving you shit?"

You shrug. "Yeah. Said I didn't seem like the type to get private training from you or
something like that." You smile as you remember more. "Petra called him out. I like Petra."

"She cleans well," Levi murmurs.

"Is that all that matters to you?" you tease. Levi shoves open a door, and you follow him
inside. "Petra said something about cleaning hours- is all you guys do clean?"

"Wouldn't that be nice," he grumbles, and you laugh.

Levi shuts the door, and you pause to take a look around to where he's led you. It's a
bedroom, sparkling clean. There's a bucket of cleaning supplies resting on a nearby desk, and
a window that looks like it's not even there- the glass is that clean. It's larger than the rooms
back at headquarters. You glance around at the belongings inside: a green cloak swung over a
chair, boots perched by the doorway, a small tea collection...

Your mouth dries. Levi's room.

You glance back at him, and to your surprise, he's avoiding your eyes. "Levi," you say softly.
"You know I wasn't sent here by coincidence."

"I know," he says gruffly, looking back to you. He undoes the cloth protecting his hair and
sets it on the desk. "I'll have words with Erwin about that later."
"What, you didn't miss me?"

Levi's grey eyes seem to burn like molten silver. "Too much," he murmurs, and a fire seems
to ignite in your core. "Too god damn much."

Silence follows. You think you can vaguely hear people out in the courtyard beneath Levi's
window. You and Levi stare at each other, and the invisible threshold between you two seems
to be breaking down the longer you look at each other. You can see the fever behind Levi's
eyes, how restless he is, and you know he's feeling the same longing that you are.

At the same time, you and Levi surge towards each other, and your lips collide almost
painfully. The sheer force of it pushes your mouth open, and your tongue clashes with Levi's.
His hands are holding your face, tilting your head to gain better access, and you grab onto his
shoulders to try and steady yourself.

You'll never get enough of kissing Levi, the way his mouth fits perfectly with yours, the way
your knees feel like jelly. His lips are soft and his tongue is warm; everything about it is hot
and rushed and sweet and oh so perfect.

Levi pulls back almost abruptly, leaving you gasping for air. "We probably shouldn't be doing
this."

"You're right," you agree. "We shouldn't."

Another pause, and then you lean in again, capturing his mouth with yours. Levi responds
immediately, lips pushing and moving and breaking you apart. This time, it's a bit slower, a
bit less rushed. You kiss him firmly, like you haven't seen him in years rather than just weeks.

Levi's hands slide around your waist, sending chills up your spine. You run your fingers up
into his hair, feeling the back of his undercut and the softness of his dark hair between your
fingers. You'd underestimated how badly you'd needed this, his comfort. It was one thing
knowing that he needed you; it's another thing entirely when Levi shows that he does.

Slowly, you pull back from Levi, letting your eyes flutter open. You bring your hands
forward to gently cup his face. "God, I missed you," you whisper.

Levi's eyebrows knit together. It almost looks like he's in pain. "I know," he murmurs.

"Is that your way of saying you missed me too?" you tease, brushing your thumb lightly
across his cheek.

He answers you by kissing you. You sigh softly, opening your mouth for Levi's tongue, and
you let your hands roam, fussing with the collar of his shirt and his cravat. Levi's hands pull
you tighter, and one of his fingers slips under the back of your shirt, pressing at the skin just
above your hip.

The bare skin on skin touch nearly makes you stiffen up. His fingers are cold, but not
unpleasantly so- it's soothing. You hum softly, letting your fingers trail down the back of his
neck and dip below his collar.
You pull back slightly, keeping your foreheads tipped together and your eyes closed. "You
know," you murmur, "you could just put me on your squad. Then we'd see a lot more of each
other."

"No way," Levi replies.

He kisses you again, but you pull back. "Why not?" you ask, pouting. "I could take Oluo. I'll
fight him for the spot."

The corner of Levi's mouth twitches up into a smirk. "I have no doubt you'd win," he says,
raising a hand up to your face. His fingers brush away a strand of your hair that had fallen
into your face. "But you'd be a distraction."

"Yeah?" you tease, unable to hide your grin. "Can't keep your eyes off of me?"

His gaze darkens. "Not just my eyes."

You're suddenly hyper conscious of his grip on your hips. He's been respectful, staying above
your ass, but you've had enough of respect. Slowly, you let your fingers run down his arms,
tracing his biceps and then his forearms, then over his hands. Carefully, you guide his hands
lower until they're over your ass.

Levi's breath hitches in his throat; you can see the sudden tension in his jaw. You return your
hands to his face, then lean in. As soon as your lips are on his again, Levi seems to turn on:
his hands grip your ass cheeks so hard that you nearly squeal. He pulls you flush against him,
spreading his fingers to cover the expanse of your butt.

Slowly, you and Levi stumble towards his bed. Levi is the one to fall down, pulling you over
top of him. You sit your weight back, straddling him, and he tugs you forward, grinding you
against him.

"I'll be your second," you mumble against his mouth, slowly rolling your hips against his.

Levi's hands tighten on your ass. "Second?"

"Every Captain needs a second," you reply, kissing the side of Levi's neck and you shift
yourself back again. "I'll be yours. You know I'm good enough."

You feel Levi's jaw clench. He pulls against you, rolling your hips forward again. "I can't
be..." Levi hisses through his teeth as you kiss a sensitive spot on his neck. You make a
mental note for later. "I can't be worrying about you."

You sigh, shifting yourself upwards so that you're looking at him. "You don't have to worry
about me."

"I know," he agrees, "but I will anyways."

Your expression softens. Levi's sweet without meaning to be, and it's part of what makes him
so endearing. His hands slide up from your ass to your ribs, and he pulls you back down to
him again. Levi kisses you, and you sigh happily into his mouth.
Without meaning to, you grind yourself against Levi again. Levi's thumbs brush the
underside of your breasts, but he doesn't make any other movements. He seems sort of...
timid. Hesitant.

It's only when you roll your hips again that you feel something brush against your crotch.
Holy shit, is he hard?

There's a vicious wave of pleasure streaking through you- you did that. You raise yourself up
again, meeting Levi's eyes. His gaze flickers downwards before going back up to you. There's
the unspoken question floating between you two that neither of you know how to address.

"Have you..." you trail off. "Ever done this before?"

Levi scoffs and tips his head to the side, breaking eye contact. You know what the answer is
without him having to say it, and your lips twitch. He sees that you understand and he scowls.
"Not really a lot of opportunity in the underground." He looks back up to you, and you have
to hide your smile- he's blushing. "You?"

You shrug. "Who knows?"

You definitely haven't had any sort of physical connection with anyone- at the very least,
since you woke up. With all of the stories you've heard about the underground, you're betting
you didn't really get any action there either. It's sort of nice, then- you and Levi are trying this
together.

"I have time," you suggest quietly.

Levi sighs, and his hands drop down to your hips. "I don't, L," he mutters. "I have training
shit to get done."

Your shoulders sink. "Oh."

He notices the look on your face and guides his hands up to cup your jaw. Levi sits up so that
you're sitting on his lap and facing him, and he kisses you. "I'm not about to rush this shit
with you," he says as he pulls away. "We're doing this right."

Oh. Oh. That's uncharacteristically sweet- you hadn't realized Levi cared enough to make
your first time together something special.

"I need to go."

Nodding, you pull yourself up, and Levi stands up with you. Not willing to be separated just
yet, you reach out and kiss him again. His hands go to your waist, holding you tight. Your
tongue gently prods at his lips, trying to savor this last moment you have with him.

Eventually, you pull back. You tip your forehead against his and sigh. His breath is hot on
your lips.

"You can't die," Levi says firmly, his hand tight on your hip. "I forbid it."
 You snort. "Well, as long as you forbid it, then I guess I can't now."

His lips twitch slightly, and his grip loosens. Levi lets you go, and the absence of his palms
on your waist suddenly makes you feel like you're going to tip over. You try to keep yourself
steady, reeling from the lack of support.

"You should get going," Levi says, but it almost looks like he's choking on the words. "Where
did Erwin say you'd be in the expedition next week?"

"Right flank," you reply, your tongue thick in your throat. "Scouting."

He nods. "I'm in the center. We won't see each other."

You nod. You knew that already. Something occurs to you and you straighten up slightly.
"Hey," you say softly. "What did you call me earlier?"

Levi raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"You called me L."

He scoffs, turning his head away. The tips of his ears are red. "Sorry."

"No, don't apologize," you rush quickly. "I like it."

"Oh," Levi says, his voice almost stuttering in his throat. His cheeks are dusted pink. "Good."

Neither of you move. You really don't want to leave, as much as you know that Levi has
responsibilities to attend to. Finally, you steel yourself. You're grateful for the time Erwin has
given you, and you know you'll have time like this again.

"See you soon," you whisper.

His eyes are soft. "Stay safe."

You leave, shutting the door behind you and beginning your trek back to your horse. If only
you knew how hard 'staying safe' was going to be.

Chapter End Notes

One day we will get to smut- that day is not today. Two big things:

ONE: I'm going to update on Monday! I've just about got next chapter finished up and
so I'm gonna update early. Should be able to update again the following Friday so no
worries about me falling behind schedule.

TWO: A few people have asked for ways to support me, so I've set up a support page
here. If you enjoy my writing and you're able, it's much appreciated, but obviously not
necessary. I still love you all equally. Obviously I'm not in this for the money (no one
who writes fanfic is) but I'd be stupid to turn down people offering. Thank you so much
in advance to anyone who does.

Thank you for all the love. You guys get me through hard times. I love you all <3

(and please pardon any grammar issues, I haven't extensively beta read this yet and I'm
tired. I'll do it later lol)
 1 - 13
Chapter Notes

Happy late birthday to Liane and happy early birthday to Minatrueself. Love you both.
<3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Alright, Logan. Money where the mouth is."

You look up and grin. "We're doing this?"

"Aw, getting scared?" Oluo taunts, placing his palms on the table and leaning towards you.
You can smell tonight's dinner on his breath. "You can back out, sweetheart."

There's a sharp intake of breath from your friends around you and it nearly makes you laugh.
You set your jaw, fingernails pinching into the wood of the mess hall table. "Well," you say
dryly, glancing sideways at Armin and Eren. "If I wasn't going to before, I certainly am now."

"Picking fights with the Levi Squad?" Jean asks, shaking his head. "Seriously?"

You gape at him. "Excuse me? He came up to me, I didn't pick shit-"

Eren coughs awkwardly. "Sort of."

"Eren, you little shit."

"Well?" Oluo backs up from the table into the aisle, beckoning to you with two fingers.
"C'mon, Logan. Private training and nothing to show for it?"

Your eyes search for Levi. He's leaning against the wall, tea cup balanced in his fingertips.
His eyes meet yours and his expression doesn't change- that's as good as permission for you.
"Alright," you agree, standing up from the table.

A collective murmur rises from around the table. "Can't believe she's fighting the Levi
Squad," Connie mutters.

"Not all of them," you correct, carefully stepping by Krista and moving out into the aisle
space. "Just this dickhead."

There's an "ooo" from some of the nearby tables- apparently Oluo has collected some
attention and now there's a bit of an audience. "Oluo," Petra says from the table on the other
side of the aisle. "Why are you picking fights with the newbies the day before the
expedition?"
"Exactly because it's the day before the expedition," Oluo returns, pointing a finger at you. "If
she up and dies tomorrow, then I'll never get the chance!"

"Morbid," Ymir remarks from your table.

"Oluo," Eld warns from what the rest of the mess hall has dubbed 'the Levi Squad table'.
Despite the average table being able to squeeze ten people (twelve if necessary, Sasha and
Connie have done it before), only the four of them sit there. No one else comes near. Even
Levi refuses to sit; he stands at the edge of the room, eyes surveying all of the corps. "C'mon.
Captain Levi won't allow this."

Levi's a few meters away, and from what you understand, he doesn't care. Several scouts turn
to Levi, waiting for him to say something.

"Place your bets," Jean interrupts.

"Money's on Logan," Reiner says immediately. There's a murmur of assent from around the
table.

You laugh and make a heart with your hands. "I love you guys."

"Biased!" Oluo shouts, fingers pointing accusingly at your friends in the 104th. "C'mon,
Petra, back me up."

"What?" Petra says in disbelief. "Oluo, you can't ask me to-"

"Money's on Oluo," Gunther says with a sigh, rolling his eyes. "Happy now?"

"No, not until I've got Captain's bet!" Oluo says loudly, turning to look at Levi. The captain in
question raises his eyebrows, unbothered. You can't help but grin to yourself- you can tell he's
amused. Otherwise he would've broken this up already or called you off.

He raises his tea to his lips, then says, "Logan."

The chaos that ensues afterwards is hilarious. Oluo looks like you've beaten him already, the
Levi Squad look genuinely surprised, and your friends are snickering and exchanging high
fives. You smirk to yourself, then raise your fists up into a sparring position. "Still want to go
through with this?" you taunt, fingernails pinching into your palms.

Oluo grins. "You bet. You sure you want to keep this up? Step down now, save face."

"It was over the second you called me sweetheart."

You step forward and drive your fist into his jaw.

He's too slow to block- or maybe you're just too fast. Either way, his head snaps sideways as
you follow through, stopping just short of plowing through his jaw and pulling your arm back
at the last second. He has to step back to catch himself.
You don't even have time to gauge anyone's reaction; Oluo lunges forward, fist up. You
sidestep, parrying his arm, and when he swings with the other hand, you sidestep again. You
grab his arm and twist, turning his shoulder into his face and shoving him towards the
ground.

Oluo goes down with a yelp. You keep pushing, throwing all of your weight onto his shoulder
and using his arm as leverage to drive him into the wooden floor. Several people stand up
from their tables to try and get a better view of your pin.

"Fuck!" you hear Oluo choke from his spot on the ground. You lean your knee into the back
of his shoulder, cranking his arm up, and he groans. "Ow!"

"Tap out," you say, glancing up at Levi. He almost looks like he's smirking.

"Like hell I'm gonna-"

You lean towards him, bordering on dislocating his shoulder. "Tap out, sweetheart," you say
happily, grinning down at him.

"No! You can tear my arm off for all I care!"

"Oluo," Levi says. "Stop being an idiot. Tap out."

You can feel Oluo relax beneath you, and his fist strikes the wooden floor twice. Smiling to
yourself, you release him and straighten up, pleased with yourself for such an efficient
takedown.

"You got lucky," Oluo says as he stands up, trying to salvage what dignity he can. "You-"

"For fuck's sake, Oluo," Gunther says with a sigh.

"Go Logan!" Sasha cheers, and the rest of the 104th cheer in assent. You grin and lean down
in a mock bow.

"Wrap it up," Levi calls from his spot against the wall. "Get to your barracks and go to sleep."

People start standing up, clearing their tables. You see Krista stack your plate onto hers, and
Mikasa grabs your cup for you. You turn back towards where Levi is, but he's not there
anymore- he's breaking through the crowd, walking towards you.

When Levi reaches you, he doesn't slow down or even look at you. He keeps his eyes
forward as he walks by, but you still hear him say, "second."

Second. You're going to be his second.

You sigh happily to yourself, watching his back as he heads between the tables until you can't
see him anymore. Once he's out of your sight, you turn towards your friends.

You've got to get this expedition over with first. Then, you'll be with Levi.
.

Today's the day. Third time outside the walls, second official Survey Corps expedition, first
official expedition since your graduation.

It feels like only yesterday that you were going out of the walls on the back of Levi's horse,
ready to take in the sights and figure out what the hell was wrong with your head. Well, you
still don't know what's wrong with your head (for the most part) but now you're heading out
of the walls as a fully-trained Survey Corps member.

Everyone is rushing around, assembling gear and getting ready to leave. You pass several of
your friends, squeezing shoulders and offering short bursts of reassurance ("stay safe") before
people head in their own directions.

You're ready to go. You hadn't been able to sleep the night before (although you're betting
that goes for just about everyone) and there's a part of you looking to catch Levi before you
leave. It doesn't seem like fate is running in your favor today; you can't find him anywhere.

Eventually, you give up, and you move to meet your own squad. Erwin put you under the
leadership of Uri, a tall man with a scruffy beard. You'd seen him in training; he's good.
Smart, fast despite his size, and levelheaded.

"There she is," you hear someone call, and you see one of the other girls waving at you.
Rani? "What kept you?"

"Sorry," you apologize, rubbing the back of your head sheepishly. "I was just looking for
someone."

"Don't worry," Rani says brightly. "With Commander Erwin's formation, we'll be fine. You'll
see them afterwards."

Of that, you have little doubt. "Thanks."

"Logan," Uri greets, handing you the reins to your horse. "Ready to go?"

"Yep."

"I, for one, am looking to see the great Logan in action," someone says, and you turn to see a
man with buzzed brown hair leering at you. You can't remember his name. "Everyone says so
much about you, so you've got to be a titan killing legend, right?"

Rani speaks up. "Lay off, Haiden. It's her first expedition."

"Technically third," you supply. Rani, Uri, and Haiden shoot you quizzical looks. "What, you
didn't know?" you say, feigning surprise. You turn to Haiden. "Why don't you tell them? You
seem to know everything about me. Sorry, what's your name?"

Uri snorts in laughter as Haiden flushes. "Go get your horse, Haiden, instead of harassing the
newbies," he suggests.
"You heard her, she technically ain't a newbie," he says with a scoff.

"Would you look at that," you mock, turning to Rani. "He is capable of saying something
intelligent after all."

Rani laughs. Haiden fumes, "why, you-"

"Haiden," Uri says.

The brunet groans and stomps away to go find his horse. "Sorry," you say quickly to Uri.
"Hope I didn't overstep."

"No worries. Haiden always needs to be taken down a peg."

"I heard that!" you hear him yell.

Rani giggles. "It's alright, he's tenth," she says, referring to his position in the formation of
the first column. "We're eighth. If we do have to take action, he might see you, might not."

"Most of the newbies aren't in the first columns," Uri says, hopping up onto his horse. "Sort
of surprised to see you got assigned to me, but if you've been on expeditions before, then I
suppose it makes sense."

You nod, grabbing your horse's saddle and hoisting yourself up. "Once over five years ago,"
you say. "Lost my memory. A second time to go see if seeing titans would boost my memory.
Then they made me do training, so here I am."

Both Uri and Rani hum. "That explains the rumors," Rani says.

"Rumors?"

"There's a few," Uri says nonchalantly, walking his horse towards the formation. Rani hops
up onto hers, offering for you to go ahead of her. "One's that you had a twin."

"Boring," you say with a roll of your eyes.

"There's another that says you were too violent and so they kicked you out," Rani adds. "Sent
you back to do training again."

You snort. "Slightly more plausible."

The three of you head towards the formation. You spot Sasha on the way and shoot her a
quick wave; the poor girl looks sick to her stomach.

Everything's going to be fine. Everyone's going to be fine.

Uri's horse stops in front of you and you tug the reins of your horse to stop her (well, you
think it's a her) in time. "Captain Levi," you hear Uri say, and you straighten up. "What can I
do for you?"
You nearly fall off your horse as you lean sideways, looking for him. Levi seems
exceptionally small from up here. "Need a word with Logan," he says. "I'll be quick."

"Of course, sir," he says, glancing at Rani and then you. "We'll see you in line. You know
where to go?"

You nod. "Yep."

Rani shoots you a quick wave as she trots her horse around you to catch up with Uri, leaving
you with Levi. Levi cranes his neck up at you and wrinkles his nose. "You're so much fucking
taller up there."

"Don't make me hop down," you say with a laugh. "I had a hard enough time getting up."

The corner of Levi's mouth twitches, then he says, "you're wearing the wrong cloak."

"I- what?" You tug at the green cloth clipped around your neck. They'd been handed out to
the new Survey Corps members last night after dinner, and you'd been thrilled to have yours.
You can't think of a time you could've gotten it mixed up. "How?"

Levi holds up another cloak. "This is your old one."

Your mouth dries. Your old one, from when you first joined the Corps with Levi. With Isabel
and Farlan. You reach up for the clasp and fumble your new cloak off, then hand it down to
Levi. He switches with you, and you tie the older one on.

It doesn't feel much different, but it smells like Levi. You like it better instantly. "You've been
hanging onto this?" you ask.

Levi scoffs, turning his head. "So what if I have?"

"It smells like you," you murmur.

He meets your eyes, his shoulders slumping. You wish you were on the ground right now so
you could hug him and hear him promise you that everything was going to be fine. You could
hop down, sure, but you can hear everyone calling to each other outside and you know you
don't have much time.

Levi nods once. "Don't die."

You smile. "You forbid it."

"Damn right I did." He glances out at the surge of scouts heading into formation. "You're in
the scouting flank," he says. "You're the only new cadet on the outskirts. Don't do anything
stupid."

"Do I ever?"

"All the time." He meets your eyes. "See you soon."

You nod. "See you soon."

Levi pats your horse once, and then he's gone, vanished into the crowd of people and horses.
You sigh, tugging the green cloak up to your face and closing your eyes. Levi has a distinct
scent, but you can't pinpoint it exactly. Clean- some sort of soap. Lemon. Tea leaves.

Steeling yourself, you squeeze your heels. "Let's go, girl," you murmur, and your horse
whinnies as it starts to trot.

You maneuver through the other scouts until you can see Uri and Rani again. "What'd the
Corporal want?" Rani asks as you pull up next to her.

You shrug, then tug at your cloak. "He was giving me my old cloak. From five years ago."

"They kept it that long?" she asks in surprise. "Wow. You must be something."

Not they. Just Levi. You force a smile, then look back towards the front. Looks like just about
everybody's set up and ready to go. Uri's talking to one of the other squad leaders- you think
it's Janice, leader of the sixth spot in the first column. 'First column' just meant the outer
edges of the formation- the 'scouts', if you will. The even numbered teams were on the right
side, and the odd numbers were on the left. You were in the eighth with Uri and Rani.

There's a shout from Erwin, and everyone starts to move as a unit. You admire the unity of it:
there's no talking, no discussion. Just one collective force.

The horses in front of you stop, so you stop yours to avoid running into the people in front of
you. The wall stands in front of you, tall and looming, and there's a bell toll that signals that
the gate is going to rise. To your surprise, there's a pretty large number of spectators; the
attention makes you squirm.

"Open the gate!" you hear someone yell. "Launch the 57th expedition outside the wall!
Advance!"

The horses break into a run, and adrenaline spikes through your body. You're not sure what
you're feeling: excited, nervous, anxious. Maybe all of the above.

Yeah. All of the above sounds good.

The houses in the district fly by as your horse canters on. There's a support team zipping
through the houses, scanning for any titans. Soon enough, you break free of the houses and
it's nothing but fields laying ahead.

You'll never get tired of being outside of the wall.

The sprawling hills of vibrant green are truly some of the best things you've ever seen. The
openness, the space; there's nothing quite like it. You sigh happily, leaning forward on your
horse. If it wasn't for the titans, you'd live out here in a heartbeat.

"You good?" Rani asks with a laugh. "You look star struck!"
"I love it out here," you call back over the wind.

She nods, grinning. "Yep! Eleventh expedition and I'll never get tired of how nice it is out
here!"

"You two ready?" Uri calls back.

"Yes!" you and Rani shout.

On cue, you hear Erwin yell from in front of you. "Deploy!" he commands. Uri leans his
horse right, and you follow. Your eyes skim the others: the other leader, Janice, is leading two
more scouts up ahead of you, and that annoying guy from earlier- Haiden?- is in the group
behind you.

Erwin's strategy has been drilled into you repeatedly over the past month. You could probably
recite the formation in your sleep if you needed to. You urge your horse after Uri and Rani,
heading to the far right side of the formation.

You don't have to ride long before you see a red flare go up in in front of you. "Want to do the
honors?" Uri calls, and you reach into the horse's saddle pouch to dig out the flare.

"On it," you reply, double checking to make sure you got the right color before you fire it.

The flare gun recoils slightly in your hand as you fire. You glance to the left, to the inside of
the formation. More red flares start going off. After a few minutes, green flares start
returning, pointing towards the left.

"Another one," Uri says.

Rani nods. "I got this one!" she calls, firing off a stream of green into the sky, angled to the
left. Uri guides his horse towards the flares, and you follow, leaning left.

"So, now we've just avoided the titan that the right flank saw?" you ask.

"Yep!" Rani says. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah," you agree. Erwin's pretty smart. "You guys know where we're headed?"

"One of the forests in the west," Uri replies, raising a hand to cover his eyes as he squints up
at the sun. "Going to rendezvous there."

You nod along. Sounds good. Everything seems to be going according to plan. Looks like
this'll all go off without a hitch.

Until, a few minutes later, when a black flare goes up behind you.

"Black means abnormal?" you yell.

"Yeah!" he calls back. "Tenth squad should deal with it but be prepared for it to break
through. You never know what to expect with those ones."
Rani glances behind you, and her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. "Oh, god!"

You look behind, and your jaw drops. "Fuck!"

It's not just an abnormal- although that titan is the first one you see. It's large, maybe fourteen
or fifteen meters, and has a mop of blonde hair on its head. Almost every single titan you've
seen has been pudgy or slim, but this one is built. You can see all of the muscles lining its
arms, chest, and legs. It's storming straight towards you, running like... well, not like any of
the other abnormals you've seen. It's running like a human. It looks distinctly female- it's got
the chest for it.

What makes it more terrifying is the swarm of titans following it. At least a dozen, all of
varying sizes, charging alongside it.

"There's too many of them!" Rani cries out, her voice panicked. "The tenth-"

"They're still alive!" Uri shouts back. You narrow your eyes at the stampede: there's a few
scouts running ahead of them, horses going at full speed.

You glance between Uri and the squad behind you. Panic is rushing through your head. "They
need help!" you cry out.

"We can't break formation!"

"The titans are going to get to us anyways!" you protest. The abnormal one has run past the
tenth squad and is charging straight towards you; the tenth now have to deal with the dozen
other titans on their tail.

"Did the rest of the right flank get taken out?" Rani says desperately.

"Rani, focus," Uri says firmly. He glances at you and nods. "Alright. We support the tenth,
stop them here."

"There's- there's so many-"

"Got it," you say, cutting off Rani's panic. Immediately, you slow your horse down, and Uri
does the same. Rani follows, but there's definitely a delay- the poor woman looks horrified.
Honestly, you're scared out of your mind, but you can't let your fear get to you now, not when
there are titans that need killing and people that need saving.

Uri waves his blade to catch your attention. "I'll take the abnormal!" he shouts. "You two join
the tenth and start dealing with those titans!"

"Roger!" Rani cries, her voice shaky.

The abnormal's interest doesn't appear to be in the scouts; it's only going forward. Trusting in
Uri, you pull your horse to the side and let the abnormal run by. Its steps are so heavy that
you can feel the ground shake beneath you.

You look up at it. It's got an eye on you.

Chills erupt down your spine. It feels like you're frozen in place; even if you wanted to go
after the abnormal, you don't know if you'd be able to muster up the strength to.

Instead, you focus on what you can do: handle the titans back here. You've killed dozens of
titans, these are going to be no different. "Haiden!" you hear Rani shriek, and you see the
reason for her panic. The titans have caught up to them. Normally, the horses would be able
to out run them, but it looks like the squad stopped to kill one that was getting too close.

"Rani!" you hear the man call out. "Take the one on the left! Newbie, the right!"

There's at least four on the right. Gritting your teeth, you urge your horse closer. There's four
other scouts: adding you and Rani makes six. Six scouts and at least twelve titans- not great
odds.

C'mon, Logan. You got this.

You promised Levi you wouldn't die. You plan on honoring that.

You jump off of your horse as soon as you're close enough and shoot for the nearest titan's
ankles. It doesn't notice you until you've sliced through its heels and it crashes to the ground.
"Disable," you mumble to yourself. If you can disable them all, then maybe you can just kill
them after. Yeah- stick with that.

For a second, you're overwhelmed. There's three different titans around you; which one do
you get to first? How do you do this?

Then, there's a scream. Nearby, one of the other scouts that was with Haiden is getting stuffed
into a titan's mouth while a second pulls at her hair.

"Anna!" Haiden yells, and he flies up to her.

You can help. That, you can do. You pick the titan furthest to the left and shoot your grapples
up to its shoulder. It reaches for you, and you pull off one of Levi's moves: you spin along its
arm, raking your blades up its skin until you reach its nape and you can slice straight through.

Your brain is starting to shut off, letting you move without thinking. You fly towards Haiden
and strike through the jaw of the titan that's got the girl- Anna- in its mouth. Spinning around,
you cut the wrist off of another titan that was reaching for Haiden. There's titans everywhere,
swarming in from all directions.

Haiden manages to pull the blonde girl from the titan's grasp, toppling a seven meter with
scraggly black hair. "Anna," he gasps. Her legs are bloody. "Anna, hang on-"

There's another scream. One of the other scouts is getting torn apart. There's another
somewhere else, being shoved head first into a titan's mouth.

What do you do? Who do you help? How can you-

Something falls into the clearing, and immediately, the titans converge on it. It's a body, you
realize. Where the hell did it come from?
Use the distraction to kill them.

Trying to focus, you shoot your hooks towards the distracted titans. You sweep from low to
high, slicing one titan's ankles and then another's neck. You hit the third, tearing its nape out
while it's trying to devour the carcass of- of whoever that is.

You can't resist anymore. You look, then nearly gag.

It's Uri. Or, what's left of him, at least.

He's mangled. Mangled beyond any sort of possible repair. He's being eaten now, but it's
clear that he's dead: he looks like someone squeezed the life out of him. Crushed him to
death. You glance up to where the abnormal ran off to. You can barely make it out anymore.
Did it- did it kill Uri and throw him back here?

Someone screams behind you, and then the scream is cut off.

"I can't do this," you whisper, the dread starting to settle in. There's too many titans, not
enough of you- how are you supposed to kill all of these titans by yourself when there's
nothing around to use as support? How do you do this?

You're fucked, aren't you? This is it, isn't it?

It can't be. You promised Levi.

Swallowing hard, you turn back to the titans at Uri's corpse. You can do this. One at a time.
"You ugly fuckers," you hiss as you jump, slashing through one titan's eyes before hooking
into the side of his head. You rebound, rolling around and cutting through its nape. There's
another one down.

You don't drop to the ground. You keep at your height, swinging around another titan's
outstretched arm and hooking around towards its nape. You strike through cleanly, then hop
off in pursuit of another.

Is anyone still alive? Are you all that's left?

There's a scream, and you spin. Someone's still alive. As soon as you turn, a sense of
impeding doom strikes you, and you don't have enough time to jet away before you're
grabbed. You had the good sense to keep your arms up, at least, so your arms aren't pinned.
Its grip is tight; you wince in pain as it picks you up, fingers wrapped tight around your ribs.

Furiously, you hack at the titan's wrist with your blade, but you don't have enough build up or
momentum to actually do any damage. You look up, gritting your teeth. The titan is grinning,
eyes wide, raising you towards its mouth.

"Oh, fuck you," you snarl, readying yourself to jam your sword into its eye when you get
close enough. "You fucking-"

"Logan!"
Someone swoops by, slicing cleanly through the titan's wrist. You fall to the ground, but you
were only a foot off of it, so you land safely. You look around for your savior and sigh in
relief. "Rani!" you yell, and she runs back towards you, jumping for the titan's neck. The titan
is trying to reach out for you with its other hand, so she's got a clear shot. Once the titan is
dead, she lands and heads over to you. Together, the two of you pry at its dead fingers until
you're free.

"You okay?" she asks.

You pat your ribcage and wince. Ouch. "Might've bruised my ribs," you say, trying to breathe
and finding it painful. Hopefully just that- you're fucked if they're broken. "You?"

Rani glances around, then back at you. "Fine for now."

"How many more?" you ask tiredly, looking around.

She follows your eyes. The only reason the two of you have a second to catch your breath is
because all of the titans are preoccupied with eating the others- you try not to think about it
too much. Haiden's long gone- as are Uri, Anna, and the other scouts that Haiden was with.
It's just the two of you left, and... you count five titans.

You nod slowly, straightening up. "Five titans."

"Two of us," Rani murmurs.

"They're distracted," you point out. "I like those odds. Come on, before they finish..."

Finish eating. It's too morbid; you can't say it. "I've got the three on the right," you say firmly,
pointing with your blade. "You take those two."

"I can't take on two!" she protests.

"Then I'll take four!" you snap in return, shooting your hooks into the shoulder of the closest
titan. "Just get going!"

As soon as you push off of the ground, you wince. The pressure on your ribs is painful. You'll
just have to hope nothing is broken. Flipping your blades to your backhanded grip, you drag
your swords through the back of the titan's neck as it's shoving a leg into its mouth. One
down.

You hit the ground again and quickly change blades, dropping your blunted ones to the grass.
One of the titans is starting to pay attention to you, lumbering in your direction, so you
swallow hard and make that one your next target. Maybe eight or nine meters, long legs and
short torso- going for the legs first would be a good idea.

You hear Rani scream, and you risk a glance towards her. A fallen titan has grabbed her from
where it's laying on the ground.

Fuck. That's the titan whose legs you took out and you decided you'd come back to kill it
later.
"Rani!" you howl, and you fire your grapples into the ankles of the titan in front of you. You
zoom between its legs, twisting to avoid its hands, and slash at its ankles. You don't check to
see if it goes down; you head straight for Rani.

Please make it in time, please get there in time-

You don't.

You're too slow to kill the titan that tears Rani's head off with its teeth, or the one that starts
pulling at her legs like they're made of paper. Screaming, you body goes into autopilot as you
tear through both titans, cutting so deeply into the nape that you think you may have
accidentally decapitated one.

She died like Ruth did, just out of reach from you-

Two more titans are approaching the area, apparently attracted by all of the chaos. Steaming
from titan blood, you spin around, looking to see how many are left. Four- maybe five.

Levi forbid you from dying. So you can't die here.

"Bring it on, you fucking monsters!" you snarl, glaring up at one. "Try me!"

You're not quite sure what happens after that. You're the only scout left, and knowing that
there's no one you have to watch out for or possibly save lifts a burden from your shoulders.
You move with Levi's grace, cutting through titan meat like it's butter, spinning so quickly
that you nearly get tangled in your own wires.

You're surrounded by steam. All of the titan blood is evaporating from you, billowing up into
the air to join the steam from the titan carcasses. You spin around, eyes searching wildly for
your next target.

"Come on!" you scream up to the sky. "Is that all you got?"

They're all dead. You got them all. How many have you killed today? Twelve, at least?

The exhaustion catches up to you. You sink to your knees, head tipped up to the sky, trying to
breath. Your ribs are aching, and your lungs seem to scream with every breath.

For some reason, you laugh. Surrounded by the remains of your comrades, some dead horses,
and over a dozen steaming titans. And you laugh, laugh because you're alive.

What the hell do you do now?

"I have a message!"

He tips his head sideways, waiting.

"The right flank enemy scouts have been devastated!" the scout yells. "The right flank is
now..."

Levi's mind goes blank.

The scout keeps speaking; he knows that, he can see his mouth move. The scout also has a
name, but he can't bring himself to remember it. His brain feels ridiculously empty right now,
like a blank sheet of parchment.

A blank sheet with one large ink blot in the middle: you.

You're in the right flank.

"Captain Levi!"

He turns his head around.

His entire squad is staring at him. The scout has long since left, and everyone is staring at
him like they're waiting for orders. Shit- they definitely are. "Petra," he says, his voice
foreign to his brain, "go tell the next squad over. Pass it on."

Her face seems to relax. "Yes, sir!"

Petra leans her horse left and takes off. Levi can hear Eren asking something behind him, but
he can't even bring himself to humor the kid. It's like his mind is printing the same thing over
and over again: you, you, you, you.

You were in the right flank.

You are in the right flank. Or what remains of it. If anything remains of it...

He needs to leave. He needs to head to the right flank now. His squad can do their job and
protect Eren- Levi needs to go, he needs to move, every second he wastes is another second
you could be mauled, could be dead, could be-

"Captain?"

Levi blinks himself out of his thoughts. He turns.

It's Oluo. The brown-haired man grins sheepishly, nearly biting his tongue as he says, "I
heard someone sayin' she was in the right flank? She'll be fine. Well, she- she may have got
the upper hand on me last night-"

"Upper hand?" Gunther says with a laugh. "She decked you."

Oluo scowls. "Well, she's tough," he defends. "I can see why you trained her, so- so she'll be
fine."

"I know," Levi snaps. "Focus."

 He says both things for himself more than anyone else. Levi turns around again, eyes trained
forward. He knows. He knows you're tough, tougher than anyone he's ever met. He knows
you're smart, he knows you're fast. He knows you're entirely capable of taking care of
yourself.

He knows it. He does.

So he needs to trust you. He needs to focus.

Levi tightens his grip on the horse's reins and tries (unsuccessfully) to temporarily block you
from his mind.

Chapter End Notes

Update as promised!! Thank you guys so much for 1400 kudos- you're insane. I truly
have some of the best readers out there.

See you guys on Friday. Two more chapters left of season one. XOXO
 1 - 14
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You collect badges.

With nothing else to do, you wander around to the corpses, seeing what you can salvage. You
find Rani's attached to her headless torso. You can't find any of Uri's remains- but you're not
sure if that piece of arm belongs to him, so you really can't say. You manage to find two other
scout badges, and with shaky fingers, you collect them. Steam is evaporating off of you,
billowing up into the sky. You feel awfully smoky as you pluck badges from corpses.

Levi held onto all of the badges of his fallen comrades. The insanity in you makes you laugh.
"I can start my collection," you murmur, surprised at how such a morbid thought became
vocalized.

You wish you had something to commemorate your other fallen trainees. Mina, Hannah,
Franz, Marco- people who you'd considered your friends but you hadn't even seen in their
final moments. Ruth, torn to shreds above you. Hannah, who gave up.

Exhaling, you collect your thoughts and try calling for your horse.

No dice. You keep wandering. Wandering, looking for any sort of gear, eyes tipped up at the
sky as the steam envelops you. Eventually, you collapse into the grass, teary-eyed and dizzy.

By some miracle, your horse comes back.

You'd jumped off of it to hop into battle- you hadn't even thought about it afterwards. You're
not sure how long you spend slumped in the grass, but the whinny and sound of hooves
against the ground forces you up to your feet. Clutching your ribs, you look up, expecting to
see a horse and rider but only seeing the horse.

"You came back," you say, grinning then wincing as your chest protests.

The horse neighs, slowing down in front of you. There's no distinct markings that indicate it's
your horse, exactly, but you know. You know it's yours.

Sighing, you pat its mane and tuck your gathered badges into the saddle pouch. "Good girl,"
you murmur. "Thank you."

It takes much longer than you'd like to admit, but you get yourself up onto your horse. You'll
blame it on your ribs later. Slowly, you shift yourself into a more comfortable position as
your horse shifts beneath you. Clearly, it's as uncomfortable with the surroundings as you are.

You squeeze gently with your heels, steering the horse in the direction you'd been headed
with your squad. "Let's go," you say, and the horse starts to run.
As you ride, you try to organize all of your thoughts. You'd been near the front of the
formation, so even with the delay and all the titans you've had to kill, you can't be too much
further behind the back of the formation. If you keep up this pace, you can try to catch up to
them.

Where had Levi said he was? Center, back row?

That, you can do. Catch up with the back rows, find Levi. You exhale, ignoring the burn in
your chest as you do.

I need to get back to the center squad, I need to get to Levi.

It hurts to breathe. You're finding it harder and harder to stay up on your horse. Slowly, you
lean downwards, falling against the horse's neck. It doesn't seem to mind. Your ribs ache with
every breath and spots cloud your vision.

What was it Uri had said? Headed towards a forest in the west?

"Forest," you mumble, craning your neck upwards. "Need to get to the forest."

The horse, who likely has no idea what you're talking about, canters on.

You try not to think about it, but it's hard not to. Your friends, your team, your squad- they'd
all been eaten by titans. Uri, Rani. So competent. How many expeditions had Rani said she'd
been on? Ten or eleven?

And she just got her head ripped off.

You groan as the horse hits a rivet. You've definitely bruised several ribs, but it doesn't feel
like they're broken. Hopefully. You'd only been covered in titan blood, so by now, it's all
evaporated and you're left with no physical traces of the battle you just fought. It bothers you,
somewhat- you feel like you need something to show for all of the monsters you just killed.

"Levi," you murmur into the horse's mane.

It takes every last bit of energy you can summon to keep your head up and stay awake. How
far to the forest? How much longer do you have to stay awake? Oh, shit- how much internal
bleeding do you have? How bad are your injuries? How long until the adrenaline wears off
and you feel all of it?

You cough, and the effort hurts your chest. How much further?

You nearly cry in relief when the edge of the forest appears at the edge of your vision. That
had been where the squadron was headed in the first place. There's got to be people in there.
That had been directly in the designated path- it was a perfect spot to regroup and check
supplies if needed. You shouldn't be too far behind. Where's the forest entrance? Somewhere
to the left?

"Easy, girl," you murmur, easing the horse slightly to the left.
I'm coming, Levi. I'm going to find you.

This proves to be a much more difficult goal when you see how many titans are swarming
underneath the trees. There must be ten, fifteen, twenty- dozens and dozens of titans gathered
at the bases of the trees, clawing at the bark. It takes you a second to realize that there are
people in the trees. Survey Corps members are spread out in the branches, drawing the titans
to the tree line. What for? Keeping them in one spot, away from... from what?

It's dawning on you- oh, shit, you're screwed.

How the hell are you supposed to avoid so many titans and get up into the trees?

"Wait, wait," you whisper, tugging on the reins of the horse. It stumbles to a stop. You wince,
one of your hands reaching to hold your ribs and the other desperately clutching onto the
saddle so that you don't topple over. "Shit," you whisper. Maybe you can head further to the
side? And then use your maneuver gear to join the rest?

Even the thought of movement makes your ribs ache. Are you even fit enough to make it up
into the trees?

Is this it? Is this where you die? After killing a dozen titans, you're going to die here?

With a scowl, you wipe at your eyes, ridding the tears that have started to gather there. No,
it's not over yet. If you can get close enough without the titans seeing you... it might be
impossible, but if you can get close enough, you can get up to the same height as the rest of
the Survey Corps. You'll have to ditch your horse, but you're betting she can take care of
herself.

You glance up. One of the figures in the trees is waving. They see you! Oh, thank god, they
see you.

"Okay," you whisper to yourself. Your horse neighs. You go to raise your hand in return,
ignoring the punching feeling in your side. The figure in the tree points to your left, and
another Survey Corps member waves from further down. They gesture at the tree they're
perched in. There's only three titans below them- one that's at least ten meters, and two
smaller ones. The big one is hugging the tree and has its eyes glued on the figures above.

"So go to the left," you muse. "That's my best option." Your hands tighten on the reins. "Let's
go, girl," you murmur to the horse. It snorts and starts to trot.

The reins slip from your hands. You ready your blades. You may have to kill a titan or two so
that you can get up. You ignore how badly your chest hurts, hoping the adrenaline will kick
in. Closer. Closer... The gear only has so much range, you need to get closer-

One of the smaller titans breaks off from the tree and starts lumbering towards you. Well, here
goes nothing.

Carefully, you push yourself to your feet, still on your horse. Your feet are perched on the
saddle, your hands using the horse's neck for balance. You're going to have to jump. The
small one isn't coming at you fast enough, you can make it-

Shit. The larger one's beady eyes are locked on you.

"Fuck," you growl under your breath. Its hand reaches out, and you summon every last bit of
strength in your bones and jump.

The horse neighs and immediately breaks off, narrowly avoiding the incoming three meter
titan. Your blades snap out and slice through the small titan's neck, and in a flash, you redirect
yourself to the tree. Your hooks land in the bark of the tree trunk, pulling you away from the
groping hand of the larger titan, and you swoop out of the way. You detach your hooks and
shoot them into the titan's head, allowing yourself to spin out of the reach of its fingers and
drag your blades along its arm and through its neck. Got him.

There's a spray of titan blood. You're about to shoot up into the tree when someone screams
your name. You turn just in time to see one of the titans gathered around a different tree lunge
at you, teeth first.

"Shit!" you hiss, and you detach your grapples and let yourself fall. The titan's mouth goes
into the tree, and you shoot the hooks of your gear into another tree before you hit the
ground- hitting the ground at this point is a death sentence. Instead of attacking, you evade,
shooting up high into the branches of another tree and out of the way of the titans. Another
one swings a grubby hand at you, but it's too short. You're clear.

You've finally got a few seconds to breathe. You shoot your cables up to a higher branch and
let the retraction pull you up. A hand reaches for yours and you take it. "Logan! Holy shit,
what the hell happened to you?" a familiar voice demands.

You smirk. "Jean. Nice to see you." You cut yourself up by coughing, spitting blood into your
hands. "Ow."

Jean scowls, then waves at someone as you lay down on the branch, wincing. "We need
medical help over here!" he calls.

"I'm fine." You blink hazily. "That's a lie. I'm not."

"Shut the hell up." His hand squeezes your shoulders- are you shaking or is he? You can't tell.

You try to sit up, but the world starts spinning so you lay back down. "I think I bruised some
ribs," you murmur, letting your eyes flutter shut.

"What happened?" Jean asks, crouching down next to you.

You resist the urge to roll over. Falling off the branch after all that effort you'd put in to get up
here would be kind of dumb. You crack open your good eye. "Was in the right flank."

Apparently, that's pretty self explanatory. Jean goes quiet. Someone else lands on the branch,
medical kit clutched in hand. "Just your ribs, or anything else?" he asks, opening his case.

You laugh weakly. "Who knows?"

"Any other survivors?"

"What do you think?" you whisper, eyes closing again. God, you're tired. "I got them all,"
you muse, knowing you probably sound deranged but unable to help your rambling. "Killed
them all. At least a dozen of those fuckers." You can feel heat behind your eyes, so you keep
your eyelids shut. "Couldn't save anyone. I got... I got lucky."

You hear Jean exhale, and one of his arms goes around your shoulders in an awkward hug.
"Thank god," he says shakily. "We thought you were dead."

"Nah," you murmur, laughing weakly. The action hurts. "He forbid me. He..."

Someone else lands on the branch. You think they're asking you questions, but you really
can't tell. Everything feels like it's so far away...

The light slips away and you pass out.

"We got it," Levi says neutrally, zooming up to the highest branch, where Erwin is. Mike
steps out of the way so he can stand next to the commander. The titan, over fifteen meters tall
with shaggy blonde hair, has its hands up to cover its nape. With all the wires locked into it,
there's no way it's going to be moving any time soon. "Losses?"

He's watching Erwin, waiting for him to say it. Of course, he doesn't hesitate. "We lost a lot
of seasoned soldiers," he reports firmly, eyes trained on the titan. "And the right flank was
wiped out."

Levi knows. He heard that from the messenger. But he wants to hear Erwin say it. "If she's
dead," he says lowly, his voice as cold as ice, "there'll be hell to pay."

"Surely we've gone through enough," Erwin says without missing a beat, "that you know by
now to blame this on the titans."

"You put her on the right," Levi shoots back.

"And you're the one that trained her," the commander says, finally turning to look at him.
Levi straightens up. "Surely you should be confident enough in her abilities. Unless you have
doubts?"

Levi really hates Erwin sometimes. The damn bastard always hits him in the sore spots.
"Don't you dare put this on me," he says with a scowl. "You put her as a scout. A damn scout.
The rest of the fucking newbies weren't scouts."

Erwin raises an eyebrow. "If you have that much faith in her skills, then have some hope."

Hope. Levi snorts. "You-"

"Commander!" Someone lands on the branch next to them, on the other side of Erwin. The
blond man nods, telling him to speak. "There's a survivor from the right flank, Logan- she
made it."

It's the best thing he's ever heard.

Levi does his best to keep his face neutral, but his heart swoops in his chest and his knees feel
weak with relief. Erwin was right; you're alive, you made it. Of course you did. Oluo was
right- you're tough. You made it through. God, he just wants to take off now and head to the
tree line, find you and kiss you, hold you so that he knows you're real. He doesn't even care if
it's in front of people, he just wants to see you-

Erwin's hand clamps down on his shoulder, and it takes everything in him not to slice the
man's hand off. "I need you here," Erwin says calmly.

"I wasn't going anywhere," Levi shoots back. He looks up to the messenger. "Injuries?"

"Bruised ribs," the soldier says. "Passed out. Tucker says she's going to be fine."

"Thank you," Erwin says. The soldier nods and uses their maneuver gear to fly away,
probably to report back to the front tree line. Erwin turns to him. "Nothing wrong with a bit
of faith sometimes, Levi."

"Fuck off," Levi replies plainly.

Waking up is painful. Your ribs hurt, but the ache isn't as bad as it was before. You blink,
trying to adjust to the sun that is so annoyingly bright over your head. You're on something
wooden, and you're moving. It's only after you open your eyes completely that you realize
you're in the back of a wagon, being towed by horses.

What happened?...

The battle with the titans comes back to you. Seeing your squadmates die, being eaten or
crushed in traumatizing ways- then killing them all and fleeing to the forest. Killing more and
being rescued by some of the Survey Corps. Passing out?...

"She's awake!"

You can't even tell who's talking. You try to look around, but you're wedged between a few
crates and your vision is blocked. Frowning, you try to sit yourself up, but blinding pain
makes you fall back down.

There's a thump as someone lands on the cart next to you. "Oi. Idiot."

You crane your neck and look to see Levi standing on the edge of the wagon. When he meets
your eyes, you stiffen up: he looks awful. His eyes are dark, darker than usual, and there's a
painfully gloomy atmosphere around him. He's missing his cloak- it takes you a second to
realize that it's wrapped around you. "Ow," you mumble, trying to push yourself up to your
elbows.
Levi's hand comes down to your shoulder, gently pushing you back down. "Rest," he scolds.
"You're injured."

Obviously. You blink up at him. He's staring at you apprehensively. You're a bit confused as
to why, but you remember the last time you woke up from injuries- you'd forgotten who he
was. You'd forgotten everything. Not this time around, at least.

"Levi," you say quietly, smiling. You reach out and touch his ankle. "I found you."

Relief appears on his face. "You idiot."

You grin weakly. "I'm fine-"

He twists so that he's leaning over top of you, and before you can register what's happening,
Levi lowers his head and presses his lips to yours.

It's sort of rushed, and it's definitely adrenaline-induced, but you enjoy it all the same. Levi's
lips are soft and the way his fingers slide along your jaw sends goosebumps up your spine.
He's being careful to keep himself propped up over top of you without touching you. Levi is
never one for words, and you feel him trying to communicate with this.

So you reciprocate. You kiss him back, wondering if he can feel how relieved you are, how
happy you are that you found him, how exhausted you're feeling. Because you can feel him-
his relief, his anger, his passion, all in one movement. Levi's tongue swipes across your lips
as your hand finds the collar of his shirt.

Almost in a jerk, Levi pulls himself back. You gasp out a breath, eyes wide. Holy shit.

He doesn't hover. Levi pushes himself up and back into his original position, standing next to
you on the edge of the cart. The two of you were blocked by the supply crates- it doesn't look
like anyone saw. "You're an idiot," he murmurs, and when you look to him, he looks away.
The wind blows his black hair into his eyes. "And you're tough as nails. The squad at the
front told me your ribs were bruised but you still fought your ways up into the trees."

You want to reply, but you're feeling mildly overwhelmed, so you just nod, feeling your face
flush. Eventually, you force out, "does this mean I can join your squad?"

"That's what you're focused on?" Levi snorts, still avoiding eye contact. You wait, because he
hasn't exactly said no. He swallows, and that's when you realize that whatever's off with Levi
has something to do with his squad. You try to sit yourself up, and it hurts to do so, but you
manage to prop yourself up on your elbows. Levi isn't saying anything, which in a way,
speaks volumes all on its own. What's wrong? His squad... did someone die? Did he lose
someone?

Wait. Normally, Levi would still be with his squad, but he's among the supply scouts. "No,"
you murmur, the worst case scenario coming to mind. Levi's refusing to make eye contact.
"No."

He doesn't reply.
"No, you're joking," you whisper, shaking your head. They were some of the most capable,
the strongest... "Petra?" you whisper, and Levi's expression gets darker. "Oluo? Gunther?
...Eld too? All of them?"

They were kind to you. Petra's nice smile, Oluo's feisty spirit- even Eld and Gunther, who
kept Oluo in check...

His voice is dark when he speaks. "All of them."

You fall down from your elbows, head swimming. They all died? Was it that bad in the
forest? What even happened? What...

You shut your eyes, trying to wrap your head around that. Squad Levi, your group at the right
flank- how many people died today? How many were lost? Anyone you know? What about
the 104th? There's too many people, too many to think of.

You've never seen Levi this deadly quiet. You open your eyes again, blinking away the heat
that's coming behind them. Levi's expression is empty, face wiped blank, but you know
there's no way he's not feeling anything. "Levi," you murmur, and despite not knowing
anything about the situation, you add, "it's not your fault."

He doesn't look at you. If he's heard you, he doesn't say anything. With a sigh, you let your
eyes flutter shut again, trying to ignore the throbbing in your chest.

You remember your horse, and you jerk yourself up. Levi's hands immediately shoot out to
keep you from getting too far up. "My horse," you say quickly, pupils darting back and forth.
"I need my horse-"

"Stay down," Levi snaps. "Why?"

You don't stay down. You try to sit yourself up, but Levi's too strong for you to get very far.
"My horse," you repeat, heat pushing at your eyes. "Levi, I have- badges."

Immediately, his face drops. His hands go slack, and you fall back onto your resting place,
knowing that Levi knows exactly what you mean. "We got all of the horses," he says, his
voice measured. "I'll get your badges. Saddle pockets?"

You nod. "Thank you," you whisper, hoping he understands how grateful you are.

Levi only nods. He leans his weight back, eyes trained up at the sky. It's quite blue, which at
first you had admired, but now it's bothering you. So many deaths- it feels like you should
have rain. Blue feels too optimistic, too unchanging. Like nothing that happened today
matters.

Then, you hear, "thank you."

"For what?" you whisper.

"For not dying."

You smile wryly, and reach out to grab his hand, which was resting loosely on the wooden
crate next to your head. He doesn't jerk his hand away. "You forbid me, remember?" you
murmur, squeezing his fingers.

You pass out for the remainder of the ride, but when you wake up again, Levi's gone, back on
his horse as you head towards the gates.

You're sent to see Doctor Fizal.

It's been a long time since you saw her last, but she's hardly changed. Still the same uptight,
strict demeanor and little to no patience with you. She wraps your ribs, informs you that none
are broken but still heavily bruised and you need to rest.

"You need to avoid contact for at least a week or two," she insists. You wince as she clips the
bandages off. "Maybe less if you rest and keep icing them."

"Thanks," you mutter, patting your side as she backs off.

Fizal sighs softly, raising her eyebrows at you. "I hope this was worth everything you put
yourself through in the past few years."

You meet her eyes. "It is."

She holds your gaze for another minute, then sighs. "Go straight back to your barracks," she
instructs, setting her papers on the nearby nightstand. "Get a full night of rest."

"Thank you."

You head back towards the barracks. It's already nightfall; you'd returned from the expedition
close to sundown, and with the time needed to unpack the supplies and put the horses away,
the evening fell to a close rather quickly.

It was only through the rumor mill that you heard Levi hurt his ankle. You had no idea, but in
all fairness, you were awake for all of two minutes and you hadn't really had time to hear the
news.

The doctor's right. You really ought to sleep- but you want to be with Levi.

You pass straight by the girls' barracks, headed to where you know Levi's room is. The last
time you'd gone to Levi's room, you'd gone in through the window. The hallways are rather
sparse; you doubt anyone's going to come and chew you out for looking to seek comfort in
someone tonight.

You find his door. There's a light on- you can see from under the door. You hold your hand
up, and after a moment's hesitation, you knock twice.

There's no answer from inside. With a shaky exhale, you push open the door.
Levi's room is still just as pristine as always- it scares you to walk inside just because you're
afraid of dirtying anything. He's seated on the edge of his bed, facing the wall, and he doesn't
look up. He's still wearing his white collared shirt- unbuttoned down to mid-chest- and pants
from the mission today, but he's wearing different shoes. You can see the bandages around his
ankle.

"Levi," you say, stepping into his room.

He doesn't reply or even look up.

Carefully, you shut the door behind you and move towards him, waiting to see if he'll tell you
to leave. He keeps his eyes trained forwards on the ground. He looks serious, but in a sad sort
of way, he looks lost. You're trying to get better at reading Levi, but it's times like this that are
always the most difficult.

On top of his desk are three badges. You know immediately whose they are: they're the ones
you collected. One belongs to Rani, but the others you're not sure of. The corpses hadn't been
distinguishable.

"Oh, Rani," you sigh to yourself. She didn't deserve an ending like this.

You pick up one of the badges and hold it up. They look like they've been cleaned, most
likely polished by Levi. You let your eyes close and bring the badge up to your lips, kissing it
softly. Then, you give the other two badges the same treatment. People who died too soon-
soldiers who died scared and overwhelmed.

Carefully, you reach for the drawer that Levi has, the one that's filled with his own collection
of badges. You lower your three additions inside and shut it softly. Hopefully, Levi doesn't
mind.

You turn back towards him and pause. He hasn't moved. You inhale slowly and sit down next
to him, leaving a few inches between you both for space. If Levi likes anything (besides
cleaning and tea, of course), it's space.

"How's your ankle?" you ask.

You see his shoulders rise and fall. "Fine."

"How'd you hurt it?"

"Saving Eren."

You don't know what else to say to that, so instead, you reach out and take Levi's hand. His
grip on your palm is loose, but it's there. The two of you sit in silence for a while. You drop
your eyes from Levi to the floor, waiting.

"Every damn time," he mutters.

You look up.

He's still glaring at the floor. "Every fucking time I'm not there," he says with a scowl, grip
tightening on your hand. "That's when shit happens. Oluo. Eld. Petra. Gunther." He exhales
through his nose, but it looks like he might say more, so you keep quiet to let him talk.
"Isabel and Farlan," he murmurs. He tilts his head, and his eyes meet yours. Your breath gets
caught in your throat. "You."

He looks back at the floor. "The minute I'm not around, people die," Levi mutters. "But I can't
be everywhere at once."

It's not your fault dies on your tongue. You're not sure if Levi would believe you if you said
it. You think for a second before you settle on, "I'm not going anywhere."

"You almost died today," he says evenly, turning to look at you. His eyes are sharp.

"But I didn't. I'm not going to die," you snap, gathering the bed sheets under your free palm
and curling your hand into a fist. "Not as long as I have you to come back to."

He stares at you for a long time, his expression never changing. You keep your eyes firm and
lips pinched in a scowl, glaring at him.

"So you can't die either," you add.

He snorts. "I'm not going to die."

"Neither am I."

Another pause. It's a stare down, you against Levi- and neither of you are wavering. It's only
because he cares, you tell yourself. He's only protesting against you like this because he cares
about you.

You pinch your lips together. "Do you trust me?"

He grimaces. "Dirty question."

"Well? Do you?"

"No."

"Asshole."

Levi sighs, turning away. "You idiot," he murmurs, his voice so low that you'd miss it if the
room wasn't dead silent. "You know I do. You don't need to ask."

Something in your chest flutters. "Then trust me not to die. Just like I trust you."

He glares at you, peeved by your logic, but he eventually sighs and looks back to the ground,
his grip loosening on your hand. He looks emotionally exhausted, which is odd because
you've never seen Levi show much emotion. This is his extent; this is how he grieves.

"I'm tired," Levi mutters, letting go of your hand and pressing his palms to his forehead.
You know he's not. Not physically, at least. "Get some sleep," you urge softly.

He frowns. "I don't sleep."

I know. "Try," you say quietly.

Levi doesn't reply. Thinking you've overstayed your welcome, you push yourself up to your
feet and stumble towards the door, hoping you've helped in some way. Levi is so closed off
that you're afraid of prying into him in case he shuts you out hard. You know that when you
need to grieve, having him there helps you; from what you know about him, he'll want to
grieve on his own. Sighing to yourself, you reach for the door.

"Hey."

You pause. You turn.

He's looking at you. His cold guard that he's had up since you walked in is gone. Levi looks
more vulnerable than you've ever seen him before.

"Stay," he says.

It takes all of the willpower in your body not to sprint over to Levi immediately. With careful
restraint, you pad towards the bed, back towards where you were sitting with him. Levi
pushes the top blanket back and swings his legs underneath, sliding to the other side of the
bed. Slowly, you sit down on the edge of the bed, ridding yourself of your boots, and you
swing your legs up and under the covers.

He pulls the top blanket back up, covering your legs, and it takes everything in you not to
blush like an idiot when he starts unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way. He catches your
eye. "You can leave."

"No," you say quickly- way too quickly- and you lace your fingers together. "No, I'll stay."

He glances down. "Ribs?"

"Better," you lie. They still hurt like a bitch. "Ankle?"

"Fine."

Ah. So you're both lying to each other then.

Levi finishes unbuttoning his shirt and lets his hands fall into his lap. He glances up at you. "I
won't sleep."

You purse your lips. "Okay."

There's another pause, like neither of you are quite sure how to proceed. There's no handbook
for this, no way to prepare for how to comfort Levi. You can only try. Try, make mistakes,
learn, and then try again, because for Levi, you'd try a thousand times.
You lay yourself down, then open up your arms. "Come here."

He looks skeptical. Hesitant. Like he wants to but doesn't know if he should.

"It's just me," you add, echoing his words from when you needed comfort. "Levi, it's just
me."

Levi deflates. He leans into you, his head falling onto your chest. You wrap your arms around
him and you feel one of his arms snake around your waist as he buries himself into you. You
pull him closer to you, trying to grab as much as him as you can and hold onto him like it's
the last time you'll have together like this.

His fingers curl around your hip. You feel him exhale, shuddering against you. You draw
slow circle into the back of his head with your thumb.

He's warm. You let your eyes flutter shut. This is nice.

You fall asleep within minutes.

The abnormal blonde titan is running at your team. You're watching it as nothing more than a
spectator as it picks them off one by one, squashing them beneath its feet or squeezing them
in its hands. Before their death, each soldier looks at you pleadingly. Screams for help. Cries
because you're not helping. And you want to, you do, but you can't move, and now they're all
dead and it's your fault-

You jerk yourself up in a cold sweat, trying to gather your bearings. Where the hell are you-

A hand seizes your shoulder, and you spin around with an arm up, ready to punch whoever it
is. "Oi!" Levi snaps, his grip loosening. "Just me." He lets go, but it takes a full minute for
your shoulders to relax and your breathing to even out again. "It's just me."

"Sorry," you mutter, pressing a hand to your forehead.

You rub circles on your temples, like that would be able to dispel the nightmares. Levi is
sitting up beside you, but you don't look at him, afraid he'll see the tears sparking in your
eyes.

"How long was I asleep?" you murmur. You're betting Levi never fell asleep in the first place.

"An hour," he replies.

An hour. How are you supposed to actually get any sleep? You groan, curling your knees up
to your chest. You're half wondering if you should leave- you don't want to bother Levi.

"I get it," he says quietly. You glance at him. "It's why I don't sleep."

You nod slowly. That made sense. You bet that anyone in the scouts for an extended period of
time ends up traumatized at some point or another. Hell, that was only your first expedition.
Levi's been in this for years. "Do you want me to leave?" you ask quietly.

He raises an eyebrow. "Do you want to leave?"

"No," you reply. "I don't. But I don't want to bother you."

"You know as well as I do that I was never going to sleep anyways."

You sigh softly, then nod. You'll stay then. Having someone might help with the nightmares
anyways. If you could- if you could actually get to sleep. You swallow hard and turn to Levi.
"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep," you say honestly.

Levi stays quiet for a moment, then asks, "roof?"

You stare at him in surprise for a moment before you nod. "Yeah. Roof."

You slide out of his bed and pull your boots back on. Next to you, Levi swings his legs off of
the bed and stands, padding over to the other side of his room to throw on his shirt, grab his
cloak, and slide on his boots. He tosses you his green Survey Corps cloak and you pull it on,
grateful for the extra warmth.

It smells just like him. You resist the urge to bury your face in the material.

The two of you leave his room, and Levi shuts the door behind you. He's got something in his
arms; it looks like a wool blanket of some sort. You trod after him as you both head to the
staircase, moving up the stairs as quietly as you can, then head out into the open balcony
area.

Levi hops up onto the stone ledge, then up onto the roof. He extends a hand to you and you
take it, using his help to pull yourself up onto the roof. His hand is warm; it's a stark contrast
to the chill of the night air.

"Thanks," you murmur as you step onto the roof.

He nods, then turns to head up further. He doesn't let go of your hand.

You let him lead you up higher on the roof. He lets go only to take the blanket tucked in his
arm and spread it out on the rooftop, making an area to lay down. Every other time you've
been up here, it had only been to observe and eventually head back to bed. It almost looks
like he's preparing for you two to sleep up here. The thought makes your chest warm.

Levi sits back on the blanket and lays down, eyes fixed overhead. You crouch down and shift
onto the blanket, laying down next to him. "There's no stars," you mutter in disappointment.
There's too many clouds.

"Some," Levi replies, nodding at some spot off to your right.

You follow his gaze and see a small break in the clouds. Sure enough, a few twinkling dots
are peeking through. "Some," you echo. There's two exceptionally bright ones that catch your
eye. "Some is better than none," you whisper, curling yourself up into Levi's side.
There's quiet for a moment, then Levi asks, "what'd you dream about?"

Your lips part; no sound comes out. He waits as you try to summon the words. "That blonde
abnormal. Looked like a woman. Killing everyone in my team and I couldn't move."

"That's what..."

He exhales, stopping himself. You raise your head up, waiting for him to finish.

"That titan," Levi continues, and the words sound like they're getting clogged in his throat,
"killed my squad. It's a person."

Your jaw slips open without meaning to. It's not a surprise, honestly- it makes a lot of sense.
A lot of its actions make more sense now. Instead of brushing off a lot of the things it did as
abnormal behavior, you can appropriate it to a human in a titan body. Like throwing Uri...

You swallow hard. "It ran right by me. Uri said he'd... that he would deal with it."

Levi shifts beside you. He doesn't say anything.

You try to get it all out there- force out the words that you don't want to say, because if you
don't make it real, then you're sure it'll haunt you. "Rani and I dropped back to help the squad
behind us," you whisper. "That abnormal- the female titan- brought a dozen titans with her.
They wiped out every squad they came to. Rani was... she was torn apart like Ruth was."

Your voice feels painfully quiet, but you know he can hear you.

"She tossed Uri's mangled body back towards us," you say faintly. "It looked like she crushed
him in her hand."

Levi hums softly, and you feel his arm wrap around you, pulling you into him. "How many
did you kill?" he murmurs.

"No idea," you confess. "Maybe twelve."

Everything's quiet again, save for a soft breeze that flutters the edge of Levi's cloak. You sigh,
eyes drifting up to the sky. Whoever that person was, that person in the titan- you'll kill her.
Kill her for killing your squad and Levi's. Kill her for causing so many deaths, and for what?
What was she trying to accomplish?

"I'm going to kill her," you vow softly.

Levi doesn't reply. He shifts slightly, and you feel his lips press into the side of your head.
"Sleep," he orders.

You twist his cloak around so it's covering you like a blanket and let your eyes flutter shut.
It's not overly warm out, but with Levi's cloak you'll be fine. You exhale slowly, trying to
calm your mind so that you can fall asleep.

"Thank you," you whisper.

 You fall asleep under the stars, pressed up next to Levi. There's nowhere else you'd rather be.

Where the hell are you?

He's been waiting for well over an hour outside this window, glaring at your bunk so hard
that he wouldn't be surprised if it burst into flames. What the fuck? Fizal said you would be
back here, that she would send you directly here once she'd checked you out. So where the
fuck are you?

He grinds his teeth together. That fucking doctor. Did she backstab him?

Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe you stayed somewhere else for the night. Maybe he'll just have to
try again tomorrow night. Yes, tomorrow night sounds good. He's been waiting for years; he
can wait another day.

With every day that goes by, there's more and more risk. He needs your blood, and he needs
it now. One more day is all he'll afford himself to wait.

Scowling, Willem turns away from the window of the barracks, stomping off into the night.
"Just you wait, daughter," he grumbles to himself as he pads away. "Just you wait."

He'll get you tomorrow.

Chapter End Notes

Happy Friday my loves. Looks like one more chapter of season one and I think there's
gonna be four chapters of season two. Season three is still up in the air because I've
gonna be drifting away from canon for a bit.

Thank you so much for reading. I truly love and appreciate you all more than I can
explain. See you on Friday! <3
 1 - 15
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

He's too slow.

Too slow, too sluggish, too imperceptive to save those that are just out of reach, not fast
enough to stop Isabel from being decapitated or to stop Eld from getting crushed or to keep
Petra from getting kicked into a tree. Then he's not fast enough to save Hange as they get
stuffed into the mouth of a titan, or Erwin as his head is ripped from his body. He may as well
be a spectator with how slow he's moving, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't make a
difference- he can't go fast enough, can't hit hard enough, can't get there soon enough.

But he's not too slow to save you from a titan's jaw. He pulls you out, all in one piece, and
he's relieved until you look up at him with wide, confused eyes and ask, "who're you?"

Who're you?

Levi wakes up in a cold sweat.

He gasps, trying to force air into his lungs and nearly coughing. The chill of the fresh air
overwhelms him at first until he remembers that he's outside- he came up here with you after
you couldn't sleep.

You.

Levi lifts his head. You're buried into his side, your breathing soft as you sleep, forehead
pressed against his shoulder. He forces himself to calm down, to slow his heart rate- no sense
in waking you up too.

Damn it. He'd actually been sleeping well up until then.

He studies you again. Levi hadn't realized his subconscious fear until he'd seen you in the
back of that cart, passed out, bandages wrapped tight around your midsection. It was horribly
irrational, painfully stupid- but he couldn't help but remember seeing Mike and Hange load
you into a cart after that first expedition, yelling about how you were still alive,
blood everywhere-

And then you'd woken up with nothing. You'd lost everything. He'd lost everything.

It's stupid. He knows that. But Levi doesn't know if he'd be able to handle watching you wake
up like that again. Waking up with concerned eyes, pinched lips, caution in your gaze and
confusion in your tone.

He can't handle that. Not when you two have come so far, not when he feels the way he does.

Levi glances up at the sky. It's still dark- he has no idea how long until the sun comes up.
He looks back down to you. You look peaceful, which is most definitely an improvement
from before. He has the strangest urge to wake you up- his desire to hear your voice, to hear
you say his name, to hear that you're here is strong, so strong that he reaches for you, fully
intending to shake you awake just so he can hear-

You shift and Levi freezes. One of your hands drifts over his stomach and he hears you
mumble, "Levi."

The overwhelming relief that comes from just hearing his name is dizzying. Levi lets his
head fall back against the roof, exhaling slowly. You're just sleeping. You're not injured.
You're going to know who he is in the morning.

Levi leans over slightly and presses his mouth to your forehead for the sole purpose of
feeling your skin under his lips. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to rid the remnants of the
last nightmare from his brain.

Then, he shuts his eyes, and Levi does his best to fall back asleep.

You wake up when the sun comes up.

Normally, with Levi, you'd only ever watched the stars at night, or the occasional sunset.
You'd only ever seen the sky in its final minutes as it gave way for the evening. Seeing it at
its beginning is something else entirely. It makes your entire body feel warm.

Well... it's definitely not the only thing keeping you warm.

Slowly, you blink your eyes open and try to take in your surroundings. You're on your side,
with your head tucked into Levi's shoulder and your arm across his stomach. You can feel his
hand on your shoulder, his head tipped against yours. His cloak is still covering you; part of
the wool blanket that he'd brought out is flipped over his side.

He must feel you stirring, because you hear him murmur, "L?"

"Yeah," you say with a yawn.

You feel him sigh softly, some sort of relief, and his hand squeezes your shoulder. "Sleep at
all?"

"Yeah. You?"

"A bit."

You smile softly to yourself. Levi doesn't sleep much, so it's a victory for you. "Sunrise is
pretty," you say, glancing at the rising sun.

You feel Levi twist his head, and he kisses your forehead. You sigh happily, snuggling back
into his side. "Eren's getting sent to the MPs tomorrow," Levi says. You wish you didn't have
to get straight into business, but you know there's a lot to do and time is a luxury you don't
have. "Erwin's going to have a plan. We're sitting this one out."

"We?" you muse.

"We're injured," Levi points out. "This kind of shit only gets worse if you stress it."

"My ribs are fine," you protest softly. You shift yourself up to a sitting position and press
down on your sides. Still a bit tender, sure, but nothing that's going to require a few weeks
off. "I'll take it easy, but if there's a mission, I want in."

He frowns at you, then sits himself up. "Don't be stupid."

You roll your eyes, then glance at his foot. "Your ankle?"

Levi follows your eyes. "Your doctor wrapped it," he says. "Fizal." You nod along. "Said I
had to stay off of it for a while. I'm out until Erwin tells me I'm in."

"So you wait for Erwin's word and then I wait for yours," you muse. "Weird little power
system we've got going on here."

He doesn't reply, eyes trained ahead.

The two of you sit in silence. The sun rises in front of you, highlighting the trees and the
fresh dew on the grass. Funny how these things work- so many people die, everything seems
to hit a new low, but the sun still comes up anyways.

You glance sideways at Levi. He looks calm, almost serene. He sat out here with you, lay
with you as you slept. He looks rested. You're getting better at being able to tell, because for
the most part, Levi always looks the same; you're becoming more watchful of the darkness
under his eyes and the crease of his eyelids. He looks like he got sleep, which is good, but
there's a haunted look in his eyes that tells you he didn't sleep as well as you could hope.

You wish you could stay here forever. On the rooftop. Day in and day out. You want to freeze
time and keep the two of you here for the rest of your lives.

"I need to go meet Erwin," Levi says.

No such luck, then.

"Alright," you agree. You hand him his cloak, and he takes it. Levi stands up, and you shove
yourself to your feet, wincing at the soreness in your side, partially caused by your injury and
partially because of the way you slept. "The blanket was a good idea," you say as Levi
collects the material. He nods slowly, folding it carefully into his arms.

The two of you start to walk down the roof. You see where you two came up: the balcony.
You hadn't gotten a very good look at it last night. The balcony is lined with a thick stone
wall; easy for getting up and getting down. You wonder how often Levi came up here on his
own, if at all.
You're about to step down onto the ledge when someone bursts onto the balcony and you
nearly stumble. "Logan!"

"Hange?" you say in surprise. You feel Levi's free hand clamp down on your shoulder to keep
you steady. You'd be fine without it, but you appreciate it all the same. "What're you doing
here?"

"Looking for you!" they say, glancing up at Levi. "And you! I heard footsteps on the roof and
figured I'd check- wait, did you two spend the night up here?" Their grin widens and you feel
your cheeks heat up. "Aw! I want all the details! Wait- I don't have time for details. Well, I
suppose maybe a few-"

"Shut up, Four Eyes," Levi snaps.

You roll your eyes and hop down onto the balcony. Levi follows. "What'd you need me for?"
you ask.

Hange straightens up. "You weren't in the barracks- there's been orders for all of the 104th to
change into regular clothing and report to Mike at the stables. You have to go get changed
and meet him there."

You blink in surprise. "What? Why?"

Hange shrugs, but it's not convincing. What aren't they telling you? "Oh, but the doctor lady
wants to see you first," they add. You nod- probably just a follow up. They spin to Levi
before you get a chance to urge them to elaborate on whatever information they're avoiding
giving you. "Erwin wants to see you," they say.

"The fucking sun just came up," he says with a scowl. "How long has he been up?"

"We're up and running!" Hange says enthusiastically. They grab Levi's arm. "C'mon! Let's get
going. Wait! Give her a kiss before you go!"

Hange's certainly very excited at such an ugly hour of the morning. You roll your eyes at their
antics as Levi shoves their arm away. "Get off of me before I break your arm."

"Come on, Levi," they whine. "Just a peck!"

"Are you a fucking pervert, Shitty Glasses?"

Feeling a bit bold, you lean in and quickly press your lips to Hange's cheek. "There's your
peck, Hange."

Levi's eyebrows raise. "There. We good now?"

"Aw, Logan, that's sweet!" Hange cooes, grabbing your face in their hand and squeezing your
cheeks. You laugh, which is kind of hard with Hange's fingers shoving your cheeks into your
teeth. "You're adorable. Be careful, Levi, or I might just steal her."

"Yeah, and I'll go fuck Erwin," Levi snaps with a roll of his eyes. "Can we get going?"
You laugh again, and for the hell of it, you press a quick kiss to Levi's cheek. "See you soon."

"Yes!" Hange shrieks.

"For fuck's sake." Levi shoves Hange away, then turns back to you. "See you soon," he
replies.

He and Hange leave, heading down the hallway with Hange squabbling the entire way. You
smile dumbly, watching your best friends leave, happy for some sort of normalcy despite all
of the chaos from yesterday.

Your smile dips slightly. Rani. Uri. Levi's whole squad.

You smack your cheeks and huff. You've got your orders; you've got shit to do.

Turning on your heel, you head back towards your barracks. You pass a few other scouts on
the way, rushing around, but no one from the 104th. You wonder what's going on. Levi
mentioned Erwin was going to have some sort of plan. You still don't entirely understand
what just happened in the last expedition, but you're not overly inclined to ask.

You find the barracks, and the only one there is Sasha. "Hey," you greet. "What's going on?"

"There you are," Sasha says with a smile. "Where were you?"

"Doctors overnight," you lie. "Ribs were bad. What's going on?"

"Oh, right." She shrugs, pulling on a vest to go over her collared shirt. "Not sure. They just
asked anyone in the 104th to meet by the stable. I think it might have something to do with
Eren."

You nod along. Makes sense. "Alright. I've got to see the doctor first- just a check in before I
head out- but I'll be there in a minute."

"Sounds good," Sasha chirps, and she waves. "See you soon!"

Sasha takes off, leaving you to get changed on your own. You change out of your clothes and
throw on a pair of black cotton pants and a plain white button up. After fussing with your
boots, you stumble back down the hallway, messing with your collar.

You try to remember what you know about Eren's situation. He was given to the Survey
Corps under the condition that there'd be some sort of success in the next mission. As far as
you know, there was no success to be had. The mission was a failure.

There's no way Erwin would just... let Eren go. Levi's right- he's got to have some sort of
plan.

Sighing to yourself, you head down the hall, finding your way to the infirmary. The door is
closed, so you knock twice. "Doctor Fizal?" you call. "You wanted to see me?"
There's no reply, but there's light coming from inside- you can see from under the doorway.
You try the doorknob: it's unlocked. Frowning, you open the door, glancing around inside.

The light is coming from a lantern on a corner desk; the curtains are drawn, blocking the
sunlight from the large windows. Your eyes sweep the room: there's a file laying open on one
of the two patient beds and a first aid kit open on the other. It looks like she was in the middle
of working. Maybe she just had to run and grab something?

Something's not right.

Then, you feel it. The shift in the air. You hear the step of a boot across stone from behind
you and you spin, throwing your arms up to block the incoming strike. Your assailant had
been hiding behind the door, and they've swung a wooden pole of some sort at you- it looks
like it's been broken off of a broom.

Your arms sting from the strike, and you raise your foot, lodging your boot into the attacker's
gut and shoving them backwards. They stumble back into the wall, and the pole clatters out
of their hands.

You bring your hands up to your face in a fighting position, then narrow your eyes at your
attacker. Almost immediately, your hands go slack.

"Willem?" you say in surprise.

He spits, drawing himself up to his full height. "That's father to you," he snaps, and you bring
your hands back up in front of your face. "Insolent girl. Do you know how hard it was to
finally get at you?"

"Where's Doctor Fizal?" you ask, your voice low. "What did you do with her?"

"Couldn't get to you when you were training," Willem continues, like you'd never spoken. He
steps towards you and you step back. "You just had to make life difficult, didn't you?"

"Where," you snap, "is the doctor?"

"Too many eyes on you and no way to get you off the grounds, no way to," he mumbles,
sounding deranged. "So we said wait until you choose your branch, then get at you, but there
was still too much damn training and too many eyes-"

"What, you going to monologue me to death?"

"So we wait until after the expedition, when things are scrambled," he says, his eyes flashing
with a mania that you've tried hard to block out of your memory. "And then you're not even
there."

You raise an eyebrow. "Sorry?"

"So here we are. You're coming with me."

"Like hell I-"

Willem lunges, and you sidestep, shoving him past you. He goes crashing into one of the
hospital beds. You glance around frantically, looking for anything you can use as a weapon,
but Willem is already coming at you again with the medical kit in his hand, swinging for your
head. You block him, grab his hand, and twist his wrist so hard that he yells out loud. The kit
falls to the ground, clattering open and spilling its contents.

You shove him backwards and finally take a second to get a good look at him. His nose is
crooked- broken and then naturally healed, from when Levi assaulted him. His hand has a
nasty burn scar over the back of it that looks like it hasn't healed well.

"What the hell are you doing here?" you ask.

"What do you think?" he retorts, straightening up. "I'm not done with you. I'm going to kill
you," Willem threatens, shaking his fist at you. "Kill you and sprinkle your blood on-"

"It'd be a lot more convincing if you actually looked threatening," you reply, narrowing your
eyes.

Growling, Willem steps forward, hand swinging at your head. You vaguely remember
fighting him back at the farm before Ethel knocked you out: back then, you'd been terrified,
and now, he seems like he's moving in slow motion.

You block his punch and then kick him twice, once in the knee and then once in the head
when he crumbles. You're hoping it's enough to knock him out, but he kicks at your ankles
and you have to jump back to avoid him.

Your ribs make you wince as you step back. He hasn't hit you there, but if he does, you're
going down.

"I'm going to kill you," Willem threatens, standing up again.

"You could try," you retort with a scowl.

He seizes the wooden pole that he had tried using earlier and swings it again. You lean
backwards as the pole swings by your chin, too close for comfort. He swings again and you
block the pole, grabbing it and tugging hard. Willem holds on tight, so you kick him in the
stomach, and he finally lets go.

You turn the staff back on him. "I'm not going back with you," you snarl, jabbing the end of
the pole into his sternum. "So good luck making me."

"Fine then," Willem jeers, backing up until he's pressed against the window. "Then I'll go kill
those two that saved you, that Levi and the other one- Hange, was it?" He cackles. "I'll kill
them and you'll have to know it was your-"

You see red.

You're not sure why you do it, but it happens nevertheless. You charge towards him, blood
boiling, and you tackle Willem into the wall. At least, you tackle him into where the wall
should be- instead, the two of you go through the window, the glass shattering around you.
You tackle him to the grass, shattered fragments of the window raining down around you.

Willem kicks up and shoves you forward; you go flying over him in a roll. As soon as you
pop back up to your feet, you spin around and run back at him, fists clenched. He kicked you
in the lower stomach, so he missed your ribs, but the roll across the ground still makes them
sting.

"You really want to do anything in front of your squad?" Willem says quickly, his voice low.

Your steps falter. He's right- to the side is the stables, where the 104th is gathered and where
you were supposed to meet. Everyone's coming out to observe the commotion, but you can't
see them well enough in your peripheral as you're trying to keep your gaze locked on Willem.

To hell with it. "Yeah, I do," you snap, and you drive your fist towards his face.

Gritting his teeth, Willem blocks with his forearm and swings with his other hand. You drop
your weight, grab his arm, turn, and pull; he goes flying over your shoulder and hits the
ground hard. You shove your knee into his chest to keep him from getting up, then smash
your fist into his face.

"You touch them," you threaten, pressing more weight onto him as he struggles, "and I'll tear
you apart," you continue fiercely, punching him again, "you good for nothing-"

Someone grabs your arm, holding you back from swinging on him again. You try to punch
down with your other hand, but someone grabs that arm too. You're being pulled off of him,
restrained.

"Let me go!" you snarl, shaking off one of the people holding onto you. "Let me- go!"

"Logan!" a voice snaps next to your ear, and you realize it's Reiner holding you back on one
side. "Hold up a second!"

"Come on," someone else says, and hands reattach to your other arm. You stop struggling; it's
Bertolt, holding onto you. "You okay, Logan?" he asks.

Willem sits up in the grass. There's blood pouring out of his nose and streaming down his
face. Good.

"I'm going to kill you," you threaten, your voice low. You shake Reiner off of you, then tug
your other arm out of Bertolt's grip. Neither of them grab onto you again; they must realize
you're not going to attack him for the moment. "If you ever threaten them again-"

"What's going on?"

You look up and immediately straighten. The entirety of the 104th is at the stables, glancing
warily at you, and Mike is standing in front of you with his arms crossed.

"Mike," you say in surprise. Then you realize he's supposed to be your superior and you
salute. "Sir."
"Logan," he greets, and he glances down to Willem. "Identify yourself and state your
purpose."

He wipes more blood from his nose. You resist the urge to kick him in the face. "New
medical assistant," he lies, and you can feel your blood boil in your chest. "Was supposed to
run a quick check up, make sure she was fit to go. I must've scared her."

"Like hell!" you snap, surging forward again. Reiner and Bertolt immediately grab onto you
again, and you struggle against them only temporarily before relaxing. "He tried to kill me,"
you insist, head swimming. "He's my..."

Father.

You don't want to say it, you really don't. It'll cause more problems than it's worth. But he's
pretending to be Doctor Fizal's medical assistant- who knows what he's done with her, you
can only assume the worst- and he was ballsy enough to come after you in broad daylight. He
needs to be gone.

"What the hell, Logan," you hear Reiner hiss in your ear.

"She's a bit delirious and confused," Willem suggests, standing himself up. "I'd recommend
she stay back from..." he glances at the 104th, all gathered around the horses. "Whatever
you're up to."

"Oh, in your professional medical opinion?" you snap, venom dripping from your voice.
"Bullshit."

Mike studies Willem, nose wrinkling, then glances at you. You see it in his eyes: he believes
you. Thank fuck. You visibly relax, and you feel Reiner's hands finally leave your bicep and
shoulder. "Private Survey Corps business," he says, his voice clipped. "Logan, are you alright
to ride?"

"Yes."

"Then you're coming."

"Great."

"Really," Willem protests, brushing bits of grass and glass from his shirt and pants. He shoots
you a look, and bloodlust flashes through his eyes. You nearly flinch. "If you don't believe
me, ask the doctor. She's right there."

She's what?

You swivel back towards the window you two crashed out of. Doctor Fizal is posed at the
edge, eyes sweeping over the damage caused to the infirmary glass. When you meet her eyes,
she sighs. "Of course it's you. What happened?"

Of course it's me?! You want to smack her.

"Scared her," Willem says before you can say anything. "She thought I was attacking her."

Because you were!

Wait- Doctor Fizal is the one who introduced Willem to you in the first place. She'll know
who he is. Immediately, you relax. She won't be fooled. She's the one who patched you up
after the whole farm incident. She knows that Willem is a psychotic, lying piece of-

"I'm sure it was an accident," Fizal says, and your jaw slips open. "Yes, this is Eliot, my new
assistant. I'm sorry if he frightened you," she adds, turning to you with a pointed look.

What the fuck?

"You're joking," you say flatly, looking from Doctor Fizal to Willem and back again. "You're-
you've got to be fucking joking!" You surge forwards again. Both Reiner and Bertolt lunge
for you, barely managing to get a grip. "You know full well who he is," you snap, struggling
against Bertolt's tight hold on your elbow. "I don't know what the hell you're playing at but
it's not going to work!"

You're trying desperately to figure out how to prove this when Doctor Fizal speaks up.
"Clearly, she's distressed, and not in her right mind," she says, and the calmness in her voice
boils your blood. "Perhaps it's best if she remains behind."

"Like fuck," you snarl, and Reiner's grip on you tightens as you pull against him. "I'm not-"

Mike raises a hand. Immediately, you fall quiet and drop your shoulders, relaxing. He's on
your side; he can help settle this. "I'm under direct orders to take all of the 104th," he says
firmly. "That includes Logan, regardless of how... mentally healthy she is." You want to
laugh.

"Nonsense," Willem says, adjusting his coat. "She's not well."

"I'm plenty well," you retort, glaring at him. "How's that nose?" He scowls, swiping more
blood from his face, and an idea occurs to you. "I could go get Levi or Hange," you suggest.
"I'm sure either of them would be able to clear up who you are."

Levi and Hange were both at the farm; they'd both recognize Willem. Levi himself is
responsible for Willem's crooked nose. The man scowls and glances at the doctor. Fizal
shakes her head slightly and says, "alright. But please stop by again when you get back."

"Not likely."

Willem retreats across the grass, nodding to Mike before he climbs inside the broken window.
Once inside, Fizal pulls the curtains shut. Her eyes lock on you and hold your stare until the
curtain's in the way and you can't see her anymore.

Why the hell is she working with your father? What does she have to gain?

"Let's get ready to go," Mike says quietly.

With a huff, you stomp over to the rest of the 104th, avoiding the gazes of the people around
you. Angrily, you snatch at the reins of one of the lone horses, ready to swing yourself up.

You hope Levi's meeting with Erwin is going well- hopefully, he's doing better than you are.

Frankly, Levi isn't doing much better than you are at all.

He glares at Erwin, trying to comprehend the scope of his plan. He gets it, he does- it makes
sense and the logic is sound. It's a hunch, sure, but Erwin's hunches always seem to be dead
on. But the fact that he's throwing you into the middle of it doesn't sit right with him,
especially when you're injured.

Levi leans forward onto Erwin's desk. "There's a fucking titan shifter in the 104th."

"That's the theory."

"So you're isolating the 104th."

He nods. "Yes, with our best scouts, provided that you're off duty until you heal. Mike is
more than capable, and he's got Nanaba and-"

"You're sending her out there," Levi says lowly, fingernails digging into the soft wood of
Erwin's desk, "with people who might be fucking titans, and you're not giving her gear."

"None of them have their equipment."

"Like hell you're sending her out there without her shit."

"Levi," Erwin says calmly, lacing his fingers together, "I understand your feelings, but-"

"No you fucking don't," Levi interrupts, nearly snarling as he continues, "if you did, you'd
give her the damn gear."

His eyes shut, then reopen. "I cannot express favoritism towards any of the scouts."

Levi presses his palms to his forehead and starts to pace around the office. It's not that he
doesn't trust you; he does. It's not that he doesn't have faith in your skills; he does. It's the fact
that without your gear, you don't stand a chance. If Erwin's theory is right and someone in the
104th is a titan, then you're fucked.

"Everyone is a suspect," Erwin says slowly.

His head snaps up; he thinks he hears a bone in his neck crack. "You seriously think she's a- a
fucking titan in disguise?"

He doesn't reply.
"That's bullshit and you know it," Levi snaps, glaring hard at the commander. "She was in a
fucking coma when that wall fell-"

"Actually, no one checked on her for several hours while evacuations were being completed,"
he replies calmly, and Levi has to resist the urge to smack his head off of the wall. "When-"

"You seriously fucking think that she got up to break down a wall and then went back to
sleep?"

"When speaking with Eren," Erwin says, continuing as if Levi had never interrupted, "he
can't recall how he gained his titan powers. He talks about painful flashbacks, occasionally
appearing as nightmares, but he can't recall specifically how he obtained his gifts- a bout of
amnesia, if you will." His eyebrows raise. "Remind you of anyone?"

"She-" Levi wants to laugh. "She was in a fucking coma and has amnesia because I
fucking dropped her on a damn rock!" he snarls. "Not because she's a damn titan!"

The blond shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Levi. There are very few cadets among the 104th that I
can rule out as completely innocent, and your word isn't enough to keep her here."

"Then your word," he snaps. "You can pull her out, you can-"

"Levi."

He clamps his jaw shut.

Erwin sighs. "I know these squad leaders trust me enough that pulling Logan back wouldn't
be questioned. But I want them to trust her, not me. They trust my word, now I want them to
trust her."

Levi's throat feels dry. He can't vocalize his thoughts, so he punches the bookshelf instead.

"Levi."

He raises his head.

"I know she's not a titan shifter," he says. "I can say it with almost one hundred percent
certainty. But you must see how it looks to the other scouts, especially the squad leaders. I
just told you the facts, and it paints her as a suspect, like everyone else in the 104th. None of
them have the same connection to her that you do-"

"Yeah, like you'd know shit about that," Levi snaps.

Erwin's eyes are pained as he forges on. "And I cannot make exceptions," he says, repeating
his words from earlier. "So she goes."

"You're making exceptions for three of the fucking kids."

"Their innocence has all been proven."

His words feel venomous as they drag themselves up from his throat. "Fucking fine," Levi
hisses through his teeth. "Send her off without a way to protect herself because you can't
show fucking favoritism. Fucking fine." He slams his palms onto the desk. "But did it occur
to you that this would be a perfect opportunity for these titan freaks to take out one of the
best damn scouts you have?" he demands. "When she's defenseless and injured?"

Erwin stares at him for a long time. Levi doesn't back down.

Finally, he does something that surprises Levi: he relents. "Alright," he agrees, and Levi
blinks in surprise. "I'll send an extra set of gear with Mike with specific instructions that it's
meant for her in a state of emergency. That's the best I can do."

He can't express his thanks properly, so he just nods. Erwin seems to understand.

"I'll go see them now," he says, standing up from his seat. "Mike isn't leaving without my
say-so anyways. Wait here, I'll be back."

Levi nods again, crossing his arms and feeling an awful lot like a dog. But he won't complain,
not when Erwin is leaving to ensure your safety- at least, he says he is.

He jerks his head up right as Erwin's leaving the room. "I trust you," he says.

Erwin meets his eyes. He understands the implications: he's trusting him to provide extra
safety for you, and in turn, he's trusting Erwin with your life. That's not something Levi takes
lightly, and he's sure the commander knows it.

Erwin nods. Then, he's gone.

"Extra gear?"

"That's right," Erwin says. "Which one of your squad leaders do you want to trust with this?"

Mike thinks for a moment. All of the 104th are on horses, milling around nervously, waiting
for orders. He sees you, tense on your horse, hands gripped so tightly around the reins that he
half expects you to rip them off. Your jaw is locked, and your eyes are trained forwards,
drilling holes into the wall that you're looking at.

"Nanaba," he says finally.

"Good. Nanaba!" Erwin calls, and Nanaba heads over to join them, saluting. "Grab an extra
set of ODM gear," he says. "Just in case."

Nanaba looks confused. She glances at Mike, but his face is impassive, and she's not getting
any information out of him. "Yes, sir," she says, and Erwin watches as she heads towards the
equipment shed.

Mike looks back to Erwin. "Levi's request?"

Erwin smiles. Mike's perceptiveness serves him well. "You and I both know she's not our
titan," he says. "She's one of your best. Her skills would be wasted in an emergency without
that gear."

"Yes, sir."

The commander nods, then glances one last time at you. You're still glaring at the wall, eyes
burning with a fury that he doesn't recognize.

"Someone attacked her today," Mike says after a moment. "Claiming to be the doctor's new
assistant. Did you clear anyone?"

"I did," Erwin agrees. "Someone under the name of Eliot Reinburg?"

He hums thoughtfully. "They came through the window," he says, nodding at the broken
infirmary window. "She was spitting fire. Never seen her that riled up."

Erwin wonders how often Mike has seen you at all, but decides not to comment on it. "What
happened?"

"Didn't see. He claimed that he accidentally spooked her. She was shooting him down.
Seemed like she knew him."

Hm. "You believe her?" he asks.

Mike nods. "Yeah."

Erwin sighs softly. "The mission today to capture Annie Leonhart is the priority. I'll put this
next on my list and talk to Logan when she gets back. If required, I'll remove him."

He nods again, glancing back at the commander. "Good."

There's a short silence. The two men watch as Nanaba drops an extra set of ODM gear onto
one of the horse carts, tucking it between some of the crates.

"Besides," Erwin says as an afterthought, turning back to Mike. "If she is our titan, then you
know good and well that her having gear won't make a difference."

"We'd be fucked," Mike agrees. "She's that good."

"That she is," Erwin says, watching you punch your hand into the wall of the barn. "That she
is."

"Hey, doc!" Hange chirps brightly as they poke their head into the doctor's office. "Just
wanted to see if you had any spare..."

They pause.
 The infirmary is a disaster. One of the windows has shattered; glass is everywhere. Tools are
scattered everywhere and one of the beds is dislodged. There's a lone broomstick pole laying
on the ground. The doctor is seated on the edge of one of the beds, bandaging the nose of a
man sitting next to her.

Hange stills.

That's your father. They've only ever seen him briefly- once when he was picking you up
from the hospital, and then again when they were rescuing you from the farm with Levi. But
Hange would never forget his face. What's he doing here? Are you still here or are you on
your way to the settlement in Wall Rose with Mike?

Moblit sucks in a breath on their other side. "What happened? Are you both alright?"

"We're fine," the doctor says politely, glancing up. "The kids were throwing a ball around
before they left."

"Broke the window and hit me in the face," your father says, gesturing at his bloody nose.
"Fell into a few things and made a mess. I'm fine."

"Must've been a hard throw to break the glass," Hange says, looking to the window again.

There's an awkward pause. "It was," Doctor Fizal says. "We're fine. Thank you."

Hange nods tersely and steps out of the infirmary, closing the door behind them. "Not going
to grab the extra bandages?" Moblit asks, stepping up next to them as Hange starts off down
the hallway.

"The glass wasn't inside," Hange mutters, one hand rising to adjust their glasses.

"Sorry?"

"The glass. A few pieces of glass inside, nothing huge, and no broom or dust pan. The glass
was outside the window, so it was broken from the inside." They purse their lips. "I know that
man. Last time I saw him, he was trying to kill Logan."

Moblit's eyes widen. "Really?"

What did he say his last name was... Castello? Something like that?

"Moblit," Hange says, lips twitching in determination. Moblit has to jog to keep up with them
as they start racing down the hall. "How do you feel about a new research project?"

Chapter End Notes

Update's here a bit early- it's Friday in some parts of the world, right? ;) I'm hella busy
tomorrow so I figured now was better than forgetting to do it tomorrow.

As usual, I love you guys. We're headed into season two next chapter! Season two is
only four chapters so we'll fly through it. Thank you guys so much for your support, as
always- couldn't do this without you. <3
 2-1
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You wake up trying to stab Ymir.

It's an accident, of course. Sure, Ymir sometimes makes you want to stab something, but this
was just your dream. It's that same stupid flashback that you can't make sense of: curled up
into a ball, hiding under something, someone's reaching for you, you've got a knife, you need
to kill-

"Geez! What the fuck, Logan?"

When you blink yourself awake, you realize you've got a knife in your hand and it's pointed
at Ymir's throat. It's the knife that you keep in the pocket of your pants. When'd you get that
out?

"Ymir?" you say in surprise.

She snorts. "Damn fucking right. Who'd you think it was, a titan?"

With a sigh, you lower your hand, knife clattering into your lap. You press your free hand to
your forehead. "Sorry," you mutter. "Nightmare."

"Everyone's got those. Get your shit together."

You snort. She's got a point. "Alright. What's up?"

"You were the last one sleeping," she says, and you glance around the large room that they'd
stuffed all of the girls into. Everyone is gone except for Krista, who's hovering by the
doorway, looking at you worriedly. "C'mon. They're feeding us shitty food and putting us all
in the same room again."

"Sounds awful," you say with a roll of your eyes. "Fine, I'm coming."

The squad leaders won't tell you anything. The 104th had been herded onto horses and you'd
rode out to a settlement in Wall Rose. You're not even sure this would be considered to be a
settlement: it's a few buildings to house a squad's worth of people and horses. You weren't
supposed to be training, but the squad of you had done a bit of basic training (sparring and
the like) anyways. Otherwise, you've done nothing of note and you've been bored out of your
mind.

You asked Mike. He told you nothing. You can't really blame him; if Erwin gave him orders
not to, then there's not much you can do. You'd do the same in his shoes.

You can't stop thinking about Willem. Your damn father.

What the fuck was he thinking, attacking you during the day? How desperate does he have to
be? And the fact Doctor Fizal was helping him- that damn bitch. She'd never liked you, sure,
but you never thought she'd been trying to get you killed.

What had he said? Something about being hard to get at until now?

He really hasn't given up.

You follow Ymir and Krista to the main room, lost in your thoughts. What is he going to do?
Obviously he's still after the same superstitious thing he was last time- you, and killing you to
spread your blood over that weird tree. How's he going to go about it?

You take your ration bar without looking up and listlessly follow the girls towards your
assigned table with the others. What's his plan? Drag you, kicking and screaming back to the
village? Kill you here, collect your blood, and carry that back instead?

Everyone around you is sitting down so you force yourself to sit, glaring hard at the wooden
table. What are you going to have to do to get rid of him? You were naïve in thinking your
problems would be over when you burnt down the barn and left the farm. Are you going to
have to kill him? You're not sure how many qualms you'd have about that, but the idea of
widowing Ethel and leaving his kids fatherless makes you feel queasy. It's not their fault their
father is a psychotic, manipulating-

"Logan?"

You glance up. "What?"

Bertolt looks like he wants to flinch back. Instead, he holds himself strong and raises his
eyebrows. "Are you- not hungry?"

Confused, you glance down, and you pinch your lips together. You've squeezed your ration
bar so tightly that it's crumbled apart- unsalvageable. "Not really," you mutter, dropping it
onto the table.

"You gonna tell us about yesterday?" Connie asks.

You're surprised by how quickly the rest of the table shoots him warning glares. You raise
your eyebrows. "Yesterday?"

"Connie," Krista whispers, eyes flickering from you to him.

"When you threw the nurse's assistant out the window," Sasha says abruptly from where she's
laying her head on the table.

There's a strange tension in the atmosphere around you. You glance at the other people at
your table: Sasha and Connie, Krista and Ymir, Reiner and Bertolt. There's a bunch of other
recruits hanging around at other tables, but none seem to be eavesdropping.

"Why didn't you ask me earlier?" you say, trying to stall.

"Because you nearly broke Reiner's arm when you two were sparring yesterday," Ymir points
out bluntly.

You wince, turning to Reiner. "Sorry. Pent up anger."

He shakes his head. "It's fine. I don't feel a thing."

"Oh, good." You swallow awkwardly, leaning back in your seat. "Well, he wasn't a damn
nurse's assistant," you grumble, recalling the encounter from yesterday. "I got told to stop by
to get my ribs rewrapped, and he was hiding behind the door. The bastard tried to brain me
with a broom handle."

"Really?" Bertolt asks, eyes wide.

You nod. "Yeah. Kept trying to come at me even when I knocked him down. I don't know
what the fuck is up with him and that nurse- why she covered for him is beyond me. I swear,"
you say firmly, eyes sweeping over the table, "he tried to kill me."

"We believe you," Krista says confidently, touching your hand.

"You knew him, though." You shoot Ymir a glare, but she just shrugs. "That wasn't a first
time encounter."

You grind your teeth together. The rest of the table falls silent, waiting for you to respond.
Sasha lifts her head up from the table. "Yes," you say through gritted teeth. "I know him."

"Pre amnesia or post amnesia?"

"Ymir," Reiner growls, glaring at her. "Tact. Look it up."

"What?" she says, eyes narrowing at the blond. "I want to know who that is. If that psycho is
going to attack anyone who comes into the hospital wing, then I'll know to wander straight
into a titan's mouth if I break my arm instead of going back."

Connie nods. "Yeah," he agrees. "We should know."

"None of you guys are in danger," you say firmly, eyes sweeping over the six other people at
the table. None of them look particularly convinced. "I promise!" you insist, and then you
sigh. Truth isn't necessarily a bad thing, right? "He's after me."

There's a beat of silence. A few of them are avoiding your eyes.

You sigh. "He's my dad."

Connie chokes. "He's your what?"

"Wow," Sasha says in surprise. "Really?"

"Daddy issues much," Ymir says with a snort.

You roll your eyes. As tactless as she is, Ymir's still pretty funny. "Post amnesia," you say,
referring to her question from earlier. "I never knew him until after I woke up from my coma
and he wanted me back into his life. He, uh..." you trail off. That's not a story you're going to
get into today. "It didn't work out."

"Obviously," Connie says in horror, and Sasha smacks him lightly.

You sigh. "Well, that's the truth. Trust me, he's not after you guys."

There's a collective nod around the table, and your shoulders relax. You've still got to figure
out what to do about Willem, but for now, at least your friends know he's not here for your
good health. Ymir and Krista rise from the table, heading over to a separate area. Sasha and
Connie both turn to gaze out the window, falling into another topic of conversation, and you
exhale in relief. Good. Conversation over.

"This place isn't very far from my village," Connie says tiredly.

"It's close to my hometown too," Sasha agrees, propping her elbow up on the table to rest her
chin in her palm.

Come to think of it, this place isn't all that far from the farm either. What was the name-
Tormach village? Something like that. "Same here," you mumble, half hoping no one will
hear you.

Sasha and Connie continue to chatter, droning on about sneaking out and returning home, but
you see Reiner's eyes drilling holes into the table. When he sees you staring at him, he jerks
his chin to the doorway, where two of the experienced scouts are standing guard in full gear.
"You have any idea what this is about?" he asks.

You frown. "This?"

"Like what we're doing here."

You shrug. You haven't given it too much thought; you've been too focused on Willem. "Not
really," you confess, glancing around. You shoot a look at Bertolt, but he just shrugs next to
you. "You?"

He shakes his head. "This is strange," he grumbles, glancing out the window. "Why the hell
are we on standby, dressed like civilians? On orders not to wear combat uniforms or train?"

You grin. "We broke that rule though."

"Little light sparring never hurt anyone," Bertolt says with a weak smile.

Reiner smirks. "Define light," he jokes, rolling his arm. His smile fades. "Seriously, though.
We're soldiers. Why are our officers fully equipped? We're inside the walls, not on the front
lines."

He's got a good point. You hadn't really thought much of it at first. "Mike was saying- Squad
Leader Mike," you say, starting again, "said that he was taking all of the 104th. But I don't
see Eren, Mikasa, Armin, or Jean."

"Good point," Bertolt muses.

"How come horse face gets to sit this out?" Reiner complains. "What are they up to?"

"The officers are acting like they're anticipating a fight," you say, glancing outside the same
window as Connie and Sasha. You can see Mike in the distance, perched on a nearby roof.
"But we're safe within Wall Rose. There shouldn't be any titans here. Unless..." you trail off.
"Unless they're not planning on fighting titans."

"What else would they be fighting?"

There's a long pause.

"Bears," Connie says after a while.

"Bears. Sure," Sasha agrees tiredly.

"You two are the only carefree ones here," Reiner points out. Sasha sighs and slumps her
head down to rest on the table again. "Personally, I say we sneak out and see how they react."

You frown. "I'm sure they've got a plan."

Another silence falls, and you consider the points Reiner has brought up. You'd been too deep
into your own anger to consider the possibilities of the situation. You've already tried asking
Mike. Maybe there's another officer you can badger?

Sasha jerks her head up. "I hear the ground rumbling!" she yells suddenly, eyes wide with
panic. "It sounds like footsteps!"

There's a pause. "Footsteps?" you ask.

"What're you going on about, Sasha?" Reiner asks. "You're trying to say titans are here? You
know what that means, right?"

A sense of dread falls over the table. Titans inside Wall Rose would mean that they broke
through the wall- is this why all of the other scouts are geared up? That wouldn't make sense.
Why would they be anticipating the wall being broken?

"You're sure?" you say, looking to Sasha.

"I am!" she says, nodding fervently. "I swear, I heard footsteps!"

"It's impossible," Bertolt dismisses. He sounds so certain that you almost believe him.

Before anyone can protest, someone lands on the roof outside the window. Everyone jerks
their gaze up to the window as the officer open up the window- you think her name is
Nanaba. "Is everyone here?" she asks.
"Nanaba?" Krista asks.

"We have multiple titans approaching, five hundred meters to the south," she says. You feel
the sick feeling building up in your stomach as she continues, "they're walking this way.
There's no time to change into your combat uniforms. Get on horseback immediately, we're
going to sweep through and evacuate the nearby villages."

Everyone breaks into murmurs. Connie looks dumbstruck. You glance at Bertolt, but he's
locked in a stare down with Reiner. "It's not possible," Bertolt says, but there's a shake to his
voice.

"You don't think..." Reiner trails off. His eyes flicker to you briefly before he looks back to
Bertolt. It almost sounds like a silent conversation, something that you're missing.

"Alright, get going!" Nanaba shouts, gesturing for everyone to get up. You stand up, but she
grabs your shoulder. "You're with me, Logan. Come on." She glances back up. "Someone
prep a horse for Logan!"

"I got it!" Krista calls before she's herded out of the room with everyone else.

You step out onto the roof with Nanaba, confused as to what you're supposed to be doing.
You see Mike posed on the top of the most southern tower, staring off into the distance.
"What am I doing?" you ask, following Nanaba as she jogs down the roof towards Mike.

"We're getting you gear."

"I have gear?"

Without answering you, Nanaba shoot her grapples up into the rooftop Mike is perched on
and swoops away. Growling through your teeth, you scan for the quickest way up to the roof.
If you climb high enough, there's a part of the roof that you could clear by jumping. Maybe.
Sure, why not.

Running to the wall, you grab onto one of the ledges and pull your foot up onto a mounting
point. Shoving up with your legs, you clamber up the side of the wall until you can roll
yourself onto the roof.

You push yourself to your feet. Nanaba's still talking to Mike. Swallowing hard, you break
into a run and leap, pushing off of the edge of the roof. You land hard on the other roof and
you roll to your feet, exhaling as you stand.

Both Mike and Nanaba turn to look at you. "How'd you get up here?" Nanaba asks in
surprise.

"You can't tell me you have gear for me and then take off," you reply.

She turns, exchanging a quick look with Mike, who nods and turns to you. "Nanaba will get
you your gear," Mike says. "I hope you can put it on while you're on your horse. We don't
have time to waste."
"Alright," you agree. "But why?"

"Because Levi insisted," Mike replies.

You feel your body almost... freeze up. Levi insisted on bringing a spare set of gear for you,
even though all of the 104th had been given strict orders to leave their cadet uniforms and
equipment behind.

Gestures. You'd talked with Hannah back in Trost District after Franz had brought her a
flower, then pondered if Levi would ever be the type to propose any sort of gifts of the sort.
You hadn't thought so, but maybe you'd been too narrow-minded. Conventional gifts, no.
Flowers, presents, nothing of the sort.

ODM gear. You want to laugh; it's the sweetest thing he's ever done for you.

"Go," Mike says. "Nanaba will grab you your gear. Get suited up while you're on your
horse."

You nod, tongue thick in your mouth, and Nanaba shoots you a quick glance before she
jumps off the roof and down to the ground. "Thank you," you say quickly to Mike before you
crouch down and twist, lowering yourself down the tower wall. There's not as many
footholds as you'd like, and it takes you a bit to get down the wall. By the time you're down
and safely on the ground, Nanaba is jogging back towards you with a set of gear in her arms.

She practically throws it to you, and you gather it in your arms, trying to make sure you don't
drop anything. "Let's go," she says. "Horses should be just about ready."

"Right."

Stumbling, you follow Nanaba around the houses, trying to pull on your harnesses as you go.
Everything's tangled up and you're struggling to throw a harness strap over your shoulder
when the horses come into view. Officers are shouting orders and everyone is scrambling,
trying to get set up.

"Logan!" you hear Krista call, and she's waving to you from up on a horse. She's got a spare
horse next to her. "Over here!"

"Coming!" you shout back, settling the scabbards on your hips as you jog towards her.

"Where'd you go?" Ymir asks.

You seize the saddle and hoist yourself up, gear bouncing awkwardly around your hips.
"Getting gear," you say. As soon as you're up on the seat, you start stripping your boots off so
that you can pull your straps up properly. "Gift from Levi," you interject before Ymir can ask
why.

"Damn!" she says with a grin. "Get you a partner who knows what you like."

You scowl, feeling your cheeks heating up. "Oh, please."

"We don't get gear?" Bertolt asks, his horse pulling up to your other side.

"Try fucking the corporal first," Ymir suggests.

"Ymir!" Krista gasps in surprise.

God, this is embarrassing. "I'm not- we're not- it's not like that," you huff, tugging the strap so
tightly around your thigh that you wouldn't be surprised if you cut off circulation. "Ymir,"
you snap when you see her snickering. "Come on. A wall's breached, this is inappropriate."

Mike starts shouting orders, and the horses start to run. Krista holds onto the reins of your
horse as you awkwardly try to get the rest of your harnesses settled on. You'd fall of your
horse if it wasn't for her guiding you on.

The titans come into view. You can only see a few of them, but you're betting there's more
behind. "Come on," you scowl to yourself, adjusting your scabbards as you reach for your
last harnesses.

"Anyone know the area?" Mike calls.

You know your family's village is around here somewhere. Maybe somewhere to the east?
You can't remember. Either way, you've only been there once. It's hardly enough to qualify
yourself to actually know the area.

Besides, you don't want to go back to that village. That damn farm, where you lived for
almost a year and were nearly sliced apart in a barn because your family was convinced they
needed to kill you. The Castellos. Nope, absolutely not.

People start splitting off. Krista stays next to you, holding your horse as you finish up with
your harnesses.

With the last strap tightened, you swing yourself up over your horse properly, then glance
towards the titans and nearly gasp out loud. Some of the larger titans- abnormals- have
broken off and started running full speed at the scouts fleeing on horseback.

"Shit," you hiss through your teeth. "They're going to catch up."

"Looks like Squad Leader Mike has got it," Krista points out.

You follow where she's pointing and your eyes widen. Mike's peeled off, heading in the
direction of the titans. "Just him?" you say in surprise. "Against all of those titans?"

"He'll be fine," Nanaba calls from a few horses in front of you. "Logan, you're with me.
Krista and Ymir too. We're going to evacuate all of the villages east of here."

"Got it," you say hollowly, with Ymir and Krista chiming in beside you.

You cast a glance back at Mike, galloping right into danger. You know Mike's good. He's
been in the scouts longer than Levi has; he's one of the best ones that Erwin's got. You're still
not sure he can handle that many alone, but you don't allow yourself to think on it. Mike will
be fine.

Evacuating villages turns out to be boring work. They went over this in training a few times,
the most effective ways to clear out towns that require evacuation. The training turns out to
be completely for shit: the townsfolk all panic and there's really nothing you can do to soothe
the overwhelming confusion.

Krista's a whole lot better at this than you are. She's kind and never loses her patience, no
matter how often she's bombarded with the overly common phrases of "what's happened?"
and "help us!"

"I don't know how she does it," Ymir mutters to you with a roll of her eyes. "If I had my
swords I'd be cutting some of these dumbasses down."

And for one of the first times, you agree with Ymir.

You've only made it through two towns when you stop one woman and ask her, "how many
more towns between here and the wall?"

"Just one," she replies, pointing. "Tormach Village."

She runs away to join the evacuation while you pause, feeling an awful lot like you've been
sucker punched.

Tormach Village.

Your blood runs cold. One more village, and it's your hometown.

Willem just showed up at the Survey Corps HQ- a problem you need to worry about when
you get back. So he wouldn't be there, but the rest of the family probably would. Regardless...
You don't want to go back there. You'd rather head straight to the breach in the wall and take
on fifty titans than head back to that village.

"Captain!" you call, trotting your horse towards her. "Permission to go after Squad Leader
Mike!"

Nanaba turns and shoots you a hard glare. "Trainee, you have a job to do here. We still have
another town to evacuate before we head to the wall-"

"With all due respect, ma'am," you say desperately, "I would rather walk straight into a titan's
mouth than head to the last town."

She raises her eyebrows, apparently not expecting your dread for the last place on your
evacuation list. "Now is not the time for personal issues," she warns. "Have faith that Squad
Leader can hold his own."

Your grip tightens on the horse's reins. "You know how to get there, it hardly qualifies as a
town- maybe fifty people, less than," you say quickly. "You have Ymir, Krista, and two other
soldiers that can help you evacuate and you don't need me to check for a wall breach because
I know that's what you'll do after. I have full faith in Squad Leader's abilities, but there may
be a chance he got stuck somewhere without his horse, or... or maybe he's trapped," you say
lamely. "I- I have a bad feeling."

Her gaze hardens. "You want to go after Squad Leader before you have a bad feeling."

"I have my gear, I've only just become a soldier and it's no loss if I don't return," you insist.
"But Squad Leader Mike is powerful and his strength is needed for humanity's survival."

"No loss?" Nanaba says sharply.

You purse your lips, waiting, but you want to scream. Every second wasted is another second
that something could've gone wrong.

"Fine," she says eventually, and you straighten up. "Only because you'll probably run off
anyways even if I said no." She smirks slightly, and you smile in return, grateful for her
support. "But you better come back, because Levi will have my head if you don't," Nanaba
says warningly.

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Be safe!" she calls, but you've already turned your horse and are galloping back the way you
came. You press yourself into the horse's neck to keep yourself low as your horse races across
the grass and over the hills.

You don't know what it is that's giving you a bad feeling. You're aware that Mike is highly
skilled and can hold his own, but he was leading the titans away- heading back to the
buildings that you'd evacuated from- and taking on that many at once was still suicide.

"Come on," you whisper to yourself as you begin to see a plume of steam in the distance.
"Please be alive."

Steam is good- steam means dead titans. And recently dead too, which hopefully means
Mike's still alive. You urge your horse onwards, starting to feel slightly more optimistic. The
trees rush by you, a blur of green and brown. You're starting to make out the top of one of the
buildings in the distance.

Wait- is that a titan covered in hair?

It's huge, bigger than any titan you've seen so far, including the female titan that wiped out
the entire right flank, including all of your squad. It's covered head to toe in something like
brown fur, and it has giant lanky arms. As you get closer, you see it bend down to the ground,
and then you hear a painful scream. Mike. "Shit!" you hiss under your breath.

It's an abnormal, and it must've gotten to Mike. You urge your horse to go faster, dodging
around the trees, trying to get a better look at what's going on.

The furry titan stands, but in its hands is something tiny and silver. You keep pushing your
horse forward- not Mike. Mike hasn't been eaten yet. You ignore all of the questions you
have- why didn't that titan eat Mike, what it's carrying, why you can still spot at least two
other titans and why they're not moving. No time for questions.

"Faster," you urge your horse. You're getting closer. The giant titan has its back to you, and
it's walking away. You're starting to fear the worst when you hear another scream: not a
scream of pain but one of fury. Mike. "Stay alive," you mutter, almost in range of the ten
meter titan posed behind the closest building with its back to you. "Stay alive, dammit."

Then, you hear, "oh, right. You can move now."

The voice comes from the fur-covered titan. Its voice is coarse and deep and it sends a chill
up your spine. On command, the titan behind the building lurches forward, and you finally
spy two more titans in the clearing.

And on the ground, holding up his blade, is Mike. With three titans surging at him.

You jump from your horse without a second thought and shoot your grapples at the building,
grateful that you're finally close enough. You see Mike being picked up, his legs being
stuffed into the mouth of a titan with one eye- there's a large eyeball rolling on the ground
near it. Mike screams, and you thrust yourself forward, shooting your hooks into the neck of
the titan that's about to pull Mike's head into its mouth.

Rocketing forward, you grip your blades tight and spin, slashing through its nape. You
immediately hook into the other large titan, jerking yourself the other way painfully, and slice
through its jaw as it goes to put Mike's arm in its mouth.

"Mike!" you yell, completely dropping all formalities. You risk a glance at the giant hairy
titan wandering away; it's still got its back to you and doesn't look like it's coming back-
thank god. Your boots skid into the ground and you push off again, launching yourself at the
one-eyed titan. Your blades go straight through its jaw and drag through its neck, and you
hear Mike sob, maybe in relief.

Finally, you loop around and strike the neck of the one whose jaw you cut. Thankfully, its
focus was on Mike and not you, so the kill was easy. With all three titans dead, you cast your
eyes around the area to see if there's any lingering around. It doesn't look like it.

"Mike, Mike," you chant, running towards him. He's collapsed on the ground, blood sprayed
everywhere. His legs look brutalized- the small titan had been trying to gnaw through them.
"Mike!"

You drop to the ground next to him and tip his head towards you. "Mike!" you snap. "You'd
better be alive!"

His eyes flutter open and your shoulders slump in relief. "Logan," he murmurs, his face a
mess of tears and blood. "Am I... dead?"

"Not yet," you say, surveying his legs and trying not to gag. You need to remember what you
learned in training- tourniquets. You need to wrap his injuries and cut off blood flow. You can
use the harnesses, but you need something to wrap his leg. Your first thought is your shirt, but
it's a flimsy material- hardly enough to staunch any blood.

Then you remember- your ribs. Wrapped dozens of times in bandages. One thing at a
time. "You're not dying on my watch," you say firmly, readjusting the harnesses on his leg to
go above the bite marks. "Hold on, Mike. Stay with me."

"That thing," Mike mutters, blinking slowly. The steam around you from the dead titans is
weirdly warm. "It said... it asked..."

"Save the energy," you shoot back. He's probably going to pass out. "Just focus on staying
awake," you instruct as you start pulling open the bottom buttons of your collared shirt.
"That's all you need to do."

With your shirt open, leaving you in nothing but a sports bra, you start pulling off your
bandages. You're not concerned about being self-conscious, not while Mike is bleeding out in
front of you. You start wrapping his legs, trying to cover all of the worst areas from below the
tourniquet. As soon as one leg is wrapped, you start on the other, unwinding more of your
bandages and tearing through them with your blade.

Finally, after another minute of unwinding and rewrapping, Mike's legs are covered in
bandages. There's still too much blood and he's going deathly pale; you need to get him into
Wall Sina and get him to proper medical help if he's going to make it.

"Mike," you say, standing up and scanning the area for a cart. "Mike, horse carts. Where do
they keep the horse carts?"

"Horse," he mutters, eyes closing. He flicks his hand at one of the wider buildings a few
meters away. You glance up at where the hairy titan went, but it's almost out of sight. Good-
hopefully that means it's not coming back.

"Mike," you say firmly, doing up two of your lower shirt buttons. "Stay with me."

He tips his head towards you. "Why... Why'd you come back?"

You stand up, temporarily ignoring his question. You jog towards the building he pointed at
and yank open a door. Sure enough, a cart with the proper harness. Perfect. You whistle for
your horse and grin when she appears. It takes you too much time, but you manage to get the
cart hooked up and you lead the horse back towards Mike.

Carefully, you reach under Mike's arms and tug. He moans painfully. A few more pulls and
you've got him in the cart, laying with his head propped up on a feed bag. You check his
bandages; they're holding for now.

"I came back," you say with a forced smile, trying to seem reassuring, "because everyone
deserves to have someone come back for them."

Mike smiles weakly, then lets his head fall back in the cart. "You're..." he trails off. "Thank
you."
"Will you be okay if I hop on the horse?" you ask, glancing up at your horse. Everything's
ready to go, but you're half afraid Mike's going to bleed out before you make it back. "It
might be bumpy."

"You came back," Mike says, his voice coming out as a wheeze. "I'll... I'll return the favor."

"Great." With another forced smile, you close up the back of the cart and head to your horse,
pushing one foot in the stirrup and swinging your other leg over. "Go, go," you chant, and the
horse begins a trot. You hear Mike whimper in pain as the cart suddenly jerks to life. You
glance down at your ribs before buttoning up your shirt the rest of the way; the bruising still
looks kind of gross, but they don't hurt very badly- they'll be fine.

The ride back to Wall Sina has never felt so long. You push your horse as far as you dare
without jostling Mike too much. In a way, his whimpers are actually reassuring, because it
means he's still alive. You're just glad that the titan never got to his head.

The wall appears in the distance, and there's a herd of people moving through the
gate. Evacuees. "Excuse me!" you cry, refusing to slow the pace of your horse. "Out of the
way!"

Most people move to avoid getting crushed by the horse, and eventually you've got a clear
path towards the gate. It's only when you get to the gate that it's an issue. The military police
are escorting people inside, calling out orders, and you don't know if you can't get through.
Everyone is squashed through the gate, like they're funneling.

"Oi!" one of the military police calls when he sees you, waving an arm. "Leave personal
belongings behind, ma'am! No carts!"

"I'm in the Survey Corps, I've got an injured squad leader," you object. There are gasps and
murmurs behind you as people take a good look at Mike. Most of these people have probably
never seen anything like this in their life. "Please, I need to get him to a hospital!"

"You're Survey Corps!" someone yells, and you spin on your horse to see a shrill woman
pointing an accusing finger at Mike. She's pointing at the wings of freedom on his jacket.
"Shouldn't you be killing the titans? Isn't that your job?"

Your temper flares, but you hiss through your teeth to keep yourself in check. "We are
dispatched with the Garrison and doing our job," you say tightly. "We are-"

"Your job is to protect us!" a man yells. "Go do your job!"

Screw controlling your temper. Your blood boils over and you whip out one of your blades.
It's still got blood on it and it's steaming- evaporating. Not to mention your own shirt and
pants are covered in Mike's blood- you must look like a mess. You point your blade at the
woman that spoke and everyone in the crowd seems to shift backward. "This man," you snarl,
"single-handedly took out over a dozen titans before he got bested. A dozen titans that could
go through this crowd like you were a fucking afternoon snack!"
You turn your blade on the man. "If any titans show up at these gates I will personally kill
them myself," you yell, glaring him down. "And I won't fucking hesitate to use you as bait!"

"Let her through!" one of the military police calls.

Finally, the crowd parts, and you ride your horse through the gate and into the city. You halt
by one of the military police. "Closest doctor," you say shortly.

The man, to his credit, recognizes your urgency and points. "We've got a few on standby," he
says. "They've set up a makeshift base in one of the courtyards. Maybe one hundred meters
down and on your right."

You urge your horse to start moving before he's finished his sentence.

Hang in there, Mike.

"We've got evacuees coming in from several small villages," the Garrison member reports,
hand held up in a salute. "We're moving them to the underground. The Survey Corps are
currently helping evacuate some of the further towns and detain the titans as we check for a
breach."

Erwin nods. Levi crosses his arms, frowning. A breach in Wall Rose is the worst possible
scenario- and to make matters worse, Erwin had sent you along with the 104th, right into
danger. His argument to let you keep your gear sets him at ease, at least. You'll be fine.

"Thank you for the update," Erwin says firmly, glancing sideways at Levi.

He scowls. "Any members of the corps back yet?" he asks, because he knows Erwin is
waiting for him to ask and it pisses him off.

The Garrison member shakes his head. "Not yet, sir."

Levi grits his teeth, then glances at Erwin. As per usual, he doesn't have a single idea what's
going through the commander's head. Erwin looks from Levi to the Garrison. "Thank you.
Keep us updated, please."

The man is about to leave when a woman bursts in through the door. She's also wearing a
Garrison uniform and has messy blonde hair pulled up behind her head. She seems panicked,
but she still composes herself enough to make a salute before she starts talking. "Sir! Two
members of the Survey Corps have returned. One of them is gravely injured. They're being
attended to in the southern courtyard."

"Who?" Erwin asks before Levi can.

The woman pauses. "I believe they identified the injured as Squad Leader Mike, sir."

Levi's shoulders fall and rise again much too quickly. The relief he feels knowing it's not you
is quickly replaced with the fact that Mike is badly injured. He's talented- it would take a lot
 to do him in. "And the other?" Levi asks.

She pales. "Well, uh, not one of the squad leaders. I think one of the higher-ups mentioned
she was a trainee? But..."

"But," Levi repeats.

"She- she threatened a few civilians with her blade to let her through so she could get the
injured to a doctor," the woman says. "And I believe she promised to kill any incoming titans
herself and use the villagers as bait if they didn't let her through?"

He snorts. That's my girl. "Erwin," Levi says shortly. "I'll be back."

"I'm coming with you," the blond man assures him. He stands up from behind his desk and
nods to the Garrison. "Thank you."

They step aside as Levi passes through, Erwin at his heels. She said southern courtyard, Levi
muses to himself, already planning his route from the building after they manage to get
outside.

Erwin doesn't speak until they're outside. "You think it's her?"

"Who else would it be?" he retorts.

He chuckles. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

Levi can't help but smirk to himself. He picks up the pace.

Chapter End Notes

Hello hello my loves. Happy Friday!! Officially hit my 20s- my birthday was yesterday.
I feel so old.

Anywho we finally got some plot alteration!! Mike's death always hurts to watch,
especially since they introduced him for like a singular episode. His death is so fricking
haunting. I've had this one planned for a bit.

(Kindly forgive any grammatical errors; I'm hungover right now and I'll reread this a bit
later when I'm more functional. Twenty drinks for twenty years of living tends to hit
pretty hard.)

Love you guys. Stay safe and healthy! XOXO

 2-2
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The doctors take Mike. You follow, refusing to leave his side.

You regret it only because of how messy it is. There's so much blood that you feel like you're
going to vomit from the scent alone. There's four of them, stitching and wrapping and
shouting things at each other that you don't understand.

Mike has long since passed out. You sit next to him, holding onto his hand. Your fingers drift
across his wrist, keeping track of his pulse; his pulse is the only thing keeping you grounded
right now.

The doctors don't force you to leave. They let you sit with him as they focus on his legs.
Someone brings in a blood bag and they hook it up to his arm, replenishing the blood that
he's lost- quite a substantial amount. Mike is pale, but he's breathing, and both of his legs
have been stitched up. Whether they're both salvageable, you have no idea.

Once there's nothing more to do, all of the doctors leave with the exception of one. You
finally let go of Mike's hand and take a seat on the other side of the makeshift tent, leaving
him to work by himself. The tent provides nice protection from watchful eyes- you definitely
don't want to leave because you're sure you're going to get reprimanded by some of the
higher ups for threatening civilians. Not that you regret it, of course.

"You did quite well, given the situation," the doctor murmurs. He's currently rewrapping the
injuries with more layers of fresh bandages. "He's going to be out of commission for a while,
at least."

"Will he recover completely?" you ask, glancing at Mike. His breathing has evened out.

The doctor sighs. "The left leg, yes. I'm not sure if that right leg will fully heal. It may have
to be amputated."

The idea makes you sick to your stomach. You swallow the bile building up in your throat.
"Thank you for your help," you say genuinely, shooting him a smile. "I wasn't sure if he was
going to make it."

"If he'd lost any more blood, he might not have," he agrees. You glance at the blood bag
hanging from the metal rack that someone set up next to the makeshift hospital bed. "Any
signs of head trauma?"

You shake your head. "Don't think so."

The doctor glances down at your legs. Your pants are dry with Mike's blood. "And you're
uninjured?" he prompts.
You think of your ribs and hesitate. "I bruised a few ribs on our last expedition," you say
tentatively. "I unwound my bandages to use for him. I feel fine now but-"

"Say no more," he says, holding up a hand. "I'll wrap them for you."

"Thank you," you reply gratefully.

You pull your shirt up, and the doctor starts unwinding his spool of bandages and holds them
up to your ribs. You wince as he presses down on one of your bruises, testing how tender the
skin is. Carefully, he wraps your ribs a few times over- not as extensively as they were
wrapped the first time- and presses the bandages together. "That should do it," the doctor
says.

The flap to the tent flies open, and you're surprised but relieved to see Levi. His eyes scan the
tent and land on you, and his eyes fall to the doctor applying the wrapping. "What
happened?" he demands, stepping into the tent. "What'd you do?"

"The blood's not mine," you dismiss quickly, lowering your shirt over your bandages. "It's not
mine, Levi."

Levi storms over, and the doctor backs up. Levi's hands go to your shoulders, then cup your
face with surprising gentleness. You've never seen him this worried. "Your ribs?" he
murmurs.

You're trying not to get lost in his eyes. "Um," you stammer, "fine. I had to- I had to take
them- the bandages- off to help Mike."

Finally, Levi turns to the bed that Mike is laying on. His hands drop from your face and it
feels like you can finally breathe again. Just as Levi's turned to look at Mike, the tent flaps
opens again and Erwin strolls in. He nods to you and you stumble to your feet, saluting him.
"Is he stable?" Erwin asks, looking at the doctor that was helping you out.

He nods. "Yes, for now. I'll come back in a few minutes to check on him again."

"Thank you," Erwin says, nodding again. The doctor grabs his bag, shoots you one last look,
then disappears out of the tent. The commander glances down at Mike, then up at you.
"Logan. Report."

You tighten your fist in your salute and swallow. "We heard the titans coming and the squad
leaders split us up to evacuate the nearby towns," you say quickly. "I was put in a squad with
a few other trainees, led by Nanaba. We headed south east to evacuate the villages, then the
plan was to head to Wall Rose and look for the breach."

Your throat suddenly tightens. "Squad Leader Mike has initially split off to occupy the
titans," you continue. "I- I offered to return to the settlement that we were at to check up on
him."

"You abandoned your squad?" Levi asks.

You shake your head. "No. I received permission from Squad Leader Nanaba to go. We- We
only had one more village to evacuate and it only had fifty people, so I was sure they could
handle it without me."

"South east," Erwin repeats. "Isn't that where your family's village is located?"

You want to shrink into the ground. Of course he's already put the pieces together. "That was
the last place they had to go," you say stiffly. "They didn't need me to clear it."

Levi looks like he's about to say something, but Erwin raises a hand to quiet him. "Continue.
You left to find Mike?"

"Yes. When I got there, his legs were in the mouth of a titan and there were two more pulling
at his head and arms." The image is going to be forever etched in your mind. "I killed the
titans, wrapped his legs, then found a cart so that I could get him to the help he needed."

Erwin's eyes feel like they're drilling into your soul. "That's not all," he says.

It's a statement, not a question. You swallow hard. "There was a fourth titan," you say quietly.
"It was huge, maybe slightly larger than Eren in his titan form, and covered head to toe in
hair. When I got there, it was walking away, and it was holding something..." The pieces click
in your head. Mike's gear. "It had his gear," you say. "It was carrying his gear."

Both men seem surprised. "It didn't attack?" Levi asks.

"Carrying gear," Erwin repeats.

You nod. "And when I got close enough, it- it spoke. I think it said 'you can move now', and
then the titans moved forward to go eat Mike."

"So they were stationary before?" the commander asks, and you nod, inwardly hitting
yourself for not starting with that detail. "And the titan told them they could move, and they
did? He talked and took Mike's gear?"

"Talking isn't unheard of," Levi murmurs. "Remember Ilse Langnar?"

"I do," Erwin says. You have no idea who they're talking about, but neither of them stop to
tell you. "I think that titan may be intelligent," the blond man muses. "No normal titan
instincts, and controlling other titans. And what use would it have for ODM gear-"

"Unless there was a human inside," Levi finishes.

There's a heavy silence, and the implications of Mike's encounter with the fur-covered titan
and starting to weigh down on you. There's another enemy. The armored, the colossal, and
now the beast. How many more are going to come at you? How many more are there?

There's a grunt from Mike's bed, and all three of you turn. "Mike," Erwin says, kneeling
down beside his bedside.
Mike groans, bringing a hand up to his face. "What a nightmare," he mutters. He opens his
eyes and glances around, taking in his surroundings. His eyes flash from Erwin to you to
Levi, and then down to his legs, and you can see his face melt. "Not a nightmare."

"Logan came back for you and managed to save your life," the blond man says gently. "You'd
be dead otherwise."

Mike nods slowly. "That much... I remember." He turns to you. "Thank you."

You're a little frazzled, but you manage to throw up a salute. "No problem, sir," you say.
"Any soldier would've."

"No, I don't think so," he murmurs.

Erwin squeezes Mike's shoulder. "You fought well," he says gently. "We have enough
information from Logan for now. Get some rest."

Mike's head tips back and forth again. "I can... do that."

Within a second, he's passed out again, snoring softly.

You deflate, collapsing back into the chair set up by his bed. It still feels like your head is
spinning; you can hear that furry titan's voice in the back of your mind. You want to press
your fingertips to your forehead and sink down, but Erwin and Levi are still here, and you
need to keep yourself together.

"Logan."

You look up wearily, meeting Erwin's eyes. "Sir."

"Thank you," Erwin says gratefully, and he reaches out for you. He settles his hand on your
shoulder and squeezes. "Mike is a dear friend to me. I appreciate you putting yourself in
harm's way to save him."

"Anyone would've done it," you say, forcing a smile.

Erwin doesn't reply to that. He releases you, and you lean back against the chair. "Hange will
be leading a patrol out first thing tomorrow morning, right as the sun comes up. Would you
like to be on it?"

"Yes," you say immediately, standing up. "Yes, I'd-"

"She's injured," Levi interrupts, shooting you a glare.

You glare right back at him. "Am not."

"Then what the fuck is up with your ribs?"

"They're fine, just bruised-"

"Here," Erwin interjects, and both of you immediately fall silent. His lips twitch in
amusement as he glances at Levi. "We send her to Doctor Fizal, and with her approval, Logan
can join Hange tomorrow morning-"

The little hairs on the back of your neck stick straight up. "No," you interrupt.

They both turn to you, and you can feel your cheeks heat up- you hadn't meant to cut Erwin
off. "Uh, sorry," you apologize quickly. "But she... she's working with..." you trail off,
wondering how best to phrase this. You raise your eyes to Levi. "Willem's here, disguised as
her assistant," you say, gnawing on the inside of your cheek.

Levi's expression doesn't challenge. "Willem?"

Ah. Doesn't remember the name. "Dad," you clarify.

The way Levi's eyebrows shoot up and his lips part would almost be comical if it wasn't so
serious. "The fuck is that bastard doing here?" Levi practically growls, eyebrows furrowing.
"When did he show up?"

You shake your head. "I don't know. But he attacked me yesterday, just before we had to
leave. I never got to report it because Mike was hustling us out."

"Mike mentioned that you were attacked. Father?" Erwin says, and you glance back over to
him. "The same father who attempted to kill you and drain your blood in his mildly distorted
plight to save his family from future bouts of amnesia?"

Well, that's a nice summary. "Attempting, present tense," you say with a sigh. "Hange told me
to go to the infirmary for a check up on my ribs," you recall, glancing at Levi. "You
remember, you were-" does Erwin know you spent the night together? Does it matter? Does
he care? "-you were there. So I got changed and headed there, and he was waiting to attack
me. He tried to pass it off as me freaking out. Not sure how well that worked out for him."

"I'll kill him," Levi volunteers immediately.

"Let's not immediately regress to homicide," Erwin says patiently. "I'll send a few scouts
down to HQ and see if he's still there, although I doubt he will be."

You nod. "Probably gone for now."

"I'll have them question Doctor Fizal. If this man is still there, I'll have him arrested on
assault. We can figure out what to do from there. Is that alright?"

That's the best you can hope for, for the time being. "Yeah."

"Good. Then here's the plan." He claps his hands together, glancing from you to Levi and
then back to you. "Your ribs are wrapped. We'll have a doctor assess you to see if you'd be fit
for a recon mission. Hange's plan is to leave before the sun rises. I'll assume you're proved
capable, and I'll tell Hange you'll be joining them. If you're not," he says, glancing at Levi,
"then just let me know and I'll make alternate arrangements. Once she's been checked, you
two come see me in my office. I believe Logan deserves a debrief."
You see Levi's teeth lock. His jaw is clenched. You're not quite sure what he's so ticked off
about- your father, you going on a mission, the fact he can't go. Maybe all of the above.

"Fine," he eventually says.

"Good." Erwin nods. "This tent is free, so stay here. I'll send someone. Levi, come with me."

Levi looks like he'd rather not, but he nods stiffly. "Stay here," he says to you sternly. "I'll be
back."

You nod. "Alright."

God, you want to kiss him. You break out of your stare with Levi to salute Erwin one last
time before he heads out of the tent with Levi on his heels. As soon as they're gone, you
collapse back into the chair, pressing your hands to your forehead.

One step at a time. You can do this.

Alright. If the doctor clears you to go, then you'll go with Hange and their squad as soon as
the sun comes up. Levi won't be happy about it, but you know he's not going to stop you. You
can't help but think of your friends. Levi was right- you did abandon your squad.

God. You abandoned your friends, who were headed towards the titans gearless. And you
ditched them because you didn't want to go back to that damn village.

But I saved Mike.

Yeah, you did. But at what cost? How many of your friends are dead out there? Ymir and
Krista, Connie and Sasha, Reiner and Bertolt- are they okay?

What the hell were you thinking? Mike was just an excuse to get away from your fucking
family. It was a good move, obviously- you've saved Mike and he'll live to see another day.
But how many of your friends did you sacrifice for that decision?

You're broken out of your thoughts when the tent flap pushes open and someone in a white
coat comes in. It's a older woman with greying hair and wire-framed glasses. "You're the one
with the bruised ribs?" she asks, and you nod. "Alright, stand up. Shirt off."

You unbutton your shirt, eyes somewhere faraway as the lady presses at your ribs. You barely
wince, which is odd because it's definitely bothersome but you're just too out of it to care.
The lady goes on, asking you questions that you answer absently.

The only part of the conversation that you comprehend is when she says, "I'd recommend you
sit out, but if you're dead set on headed back into the field, you should be fine. Just take it
easy," she adds, buttoning up the rest of your shirt.

"Thank you," you murmur.

She simply hums in response before she leaves the tent, flap swinging shut behind her. You
collapse back into your chair, head pounding.
You ditched your friends.

"Mm... gone?"

You jerk your head up. Mike has his head tipped to the side, looking towards you. "Mike,"
you say softly, smiling. "How're you doing?"

"I've been worse," he replies, tipping his head up slightly to glare at his bandaged legs.

You can't help but snort. "I doubt that," you say with a roll of your eyes, standing up from
your seat and pulling the chair closer to Mike's bedside. You sit back down again once you're
right next to him. "This is probably the worst injury to come out of the scouts," you add,
bitterness seeping into your tone.

Mike's eyes slide to you. "Not the worst."

You know what he's referring to. "Mine was just a five year set back," you reply, glancing
sideways to Mike's legs. "At least I can..."

Walk.

He hears the sigh in your voice. "How bad?" Mike asks.

You swallow hard. "Left leg will heal completely. They're not sure about the right."

The silence that follows resonates in your chest, squeezing your heart. You tear your gaze
away from his injured legs. You're happy you got there when you did, but you can't help but
worry about those that you left behind. Saying that 'they can take care of themselves' doesn't
help, considering you're sitting beside a man who supposedly could take care of himself
really damn well.

"So," Mike says, his voice raspy, "you and Levi."

You raise an eyebrow. "Seriously? This is what you want to talk about right now?"

"You have a different topic suggestion?"

"Literally anything else."

His lips twitch into a smirk as he looks at you. You turn away, hoping he can't see how
flustered you are by the question. "I suspected from all the times Levi would leave to head to
the training camp," he murmurs, turning his head back up to the sky. "Hange's not exactly
quiet."

"Fucking Hange," you curse, dropping your head into your hands.

"Erwin seems to know too, judging by how he sent you with the supplies," Mike says,
referring to the one time Erwin gave you an out so you could go visit Levi. You scowl but
you really can't say anything in protest. "But what confirmed it was the last expedition."
You raise an eyebrow. "The one where I nearly died and passed out in a tree?"

His eyes flicker, but he continues without acknowledging your comment. "The look on his
face when he found out you were alive," Mike whispers, his eyes trained upwards on the tent
ceiling. "Never seen that much emotion from Levi."

Your heart does a funny dance in your chest.

"And I've known him a long time," he adds as an afterthought. "Can hardly tell happy from
sad with that man but he must've been hit with the entire emotional spectrum."

You can feel your face heating up. You can't even think of a way to respond properly; your
mouth opens and closes with no sound.

Silence ensues for a few moments before you hear Mike's breathing even out. He's fallen
asleep again; looks like he's waking up in bursts. And apparently deciding to drop some truth
bombs in the few seconds that he's awake so that he doesn't have to see the aftermath.

Oh, Mike.

With a sigh, you let your head fall down on the side of his makeshift hospital bed, letting
your eyes flutter shut. You'd count Mike as a friend, and you hope he considers you the same.
You're grateful he's alive.

You're not sure how much time has passed when someone shakes you awake. You lift your
head from the bed with a start, ready to fight whoever's put their hands on you.

The hand squeezes. "Just me," a voice says.

You immediately deflate. It's never 'just him', is it? "Levi," you murmur, standing up from
your seat.

"Me," he agrees, sounding much more relaxed than when he'd shaken you awake. His eyes
scan you warily. "Doctor came? Are you-"

You cut him off when you lean in and seal his lips with yours. Levi doesn't seem to complain;
he kisses you back without hesitation, the hand on your shoulder sliding up to the back of
your head. Levi kisses you softly, fingertips pressing gently into the back of your head as you
melt into his arms.

You pull back first, head spinning. "I'm sorry."

Levi's eyebrows rise. "For what?"

"For- doing that."

"Don't." His hand shifts, and his thumb grazes over your cheek. His expression looks
almost... fond. "I would've done it if you hadn't," he adds, and when he drops his hand you
nearly sink to the ground. "What'd the doctor say?"
You shrug. "She said she's got no problem with me going back into the field."

Levi's face sours. "Oh."

"I-" you purse your lips, exhaling through your nose. "I don't have to go," you force out, even
though you know you'd hate yourself for sitting back while your friends are in danger.

"You'll resent me if you stay," he replies.

You knit your eyebrows together. "And you won't resent me if I go?"

Levi's eyes seem to flash, and it takes him a minute before he can say, "I can't fault you for
doing what you'll regret the least."

Your lips twitch. "How reasonable of you."

"Fuck off," he replies.

"Careful, you almost sounded affectionate."

The corner of Levi's mouth twitches. "Erwin wants to see you," he says, and you try to hold
in your sigh as he flips back to business. Levi starts towards the tent flap and you follow him
outside, surprised to see that the sun's setting outside. You hadn't realized how close it was to
evening.

"He's going to explain why we got sent into Wall Rose without gear?" you ask.

Levi nods. "Yeah."

You walk a bit faster so that you can fall into step next to him. "Do..." you trail off. "Do you
know why?"

"Yes."

His tone is clipped, like he knows why but he's not happy about it. You know there's a power
difference between you and Levi; he's going to know things you're not allowed to, and you
have to be okay with that. You remember the gear and you say quickly, "thank you. For
sending the extra gear."

Levi's eyes flicker to you, then back forwards. "Yeah."

That gear meant the world to you. You never could've saved Mike's life without it. There's a
part of you that needs to make sure he knows how much that gesture meant to you, and you
ponder reaching for Levi's hand, but he's turned a corner and stepped out of reach before you
can act on it.

You and Levi head towards the Survey Corps headquarters, and once you arrive, he leads you
down one of the main hallways towards Erwin's office. You've been to Erwin's office before,
but this feels much more formal.
Levi opens the door for you without knocking, but you still pause before you go in. Erwin
looks up from his desk. "Come in," he says, waving a hand at you.

You step inside, feeling like you're out of place, and step towards the seat in front of Erwin's
desk when he gestures to you. You sit yourself down and glance behind you as the door shuts;
Levi's leaning against the wall, arms crossed. He's taken his arms out of his jacket sleeves
and let the black coat hang from his shoulders. For whatever reason, the pose makes him look
ridiculously attractive.

You turn back to Erwin before your face can have the chance to heat up. "Sir."

"Approved to go?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. I'll let Hange know that they can grab you from your barracks when they're getting
ready to leave." The commander laces his fingers together and sets his elbows up on the desk.
"I'm sorry, but neither your father nor the doctor were anywhere to be found. No one's seen
them since your squabble yesterday."

You want to groan in frustration. You hadn't been expecting him to stick around, not after
how public that fight was yesterday, but it'd be nice to catch him. "Alright," you say with a
sigh. "Thank you."

He nods. "I'll get right down to it. Yesterday, while you were held within Wall Rose with the
majority of the 104th that joined the Survey Corps, we managed to capture and detain the
female titan."

Your jaw slips open. "O- Oh."

That's what happened yesterday? While you were with your friends, trying to find ways to
entertain yourselves while on watch from the upper Survey Corps leaders, Erwin was
launching a mission to capture the titan that had ravaged a good chunk of the scouting
legion?

You glance behind you at Levi. His expression hasn't changed. You turn back to Erwin. "It
was a person?"

"It was." Erwin's eyebrows furrow. "Annie Leonhart."

"Annie," you repeat. "Like, my training squad? The 104th? Blonde, never talked to anyone,
military police Annie?"

You want to say it's hard to believe, but she fits the profile perfectly. She was always a loner
in training, talking to very few people. One of the top in the class; she was skilled in just
about everything. The only unbelievable part of it is that the titan shifter had been someone
from your trainee group. Was one not enough? Not just Eren, but Annie?

Erwin's face is impassive. You slump back in your seat, exhaling as you try to digest the new
information. "Alright," you say eventually, pressing a hand to the side of your head. "Where
is she? Dead?"

"She's encased in some sort of crystal," Erwin says, sitting back in his chair. "We're working
on how to break it. She's been locked in the basement of military police headquarters."

"So she's alive."

He nods. "Yes."

"How many did she kill?" you ask, bitterness seeping into your tone. You'd never known
Annie very well, and you've got very few qualms about seeing her dead. You'd never spoken
a word to her during training and she'd given you the same treatment. "She led those titans
into the right flank, she..."

...killed Levi's squad dies on your tongue. You're sure both Erwin and Levi know that as well
as you do.

"She's responsible for the deaths of many seasoned soldiers," Erwin says, eyes shifting to
Levi briefly before moving back to you. "A large part of our last expedition was an attempt to
capture her. We guessed that there would be a move on Eren and planned accordingly. The
deaths were unfortunate but not in vain, and this brings me to you."

You blink. "Me?"

"I put you in the right flank," he says. You hear Levi shift behind you. "You managed to
slaughter an entire brigade of titans that surely would've overwhelmed many more squads
ahead of you. Thanks to you, we managed to keep most of our formation and prevent the
titans from breaking too far inwards. I owe you thanks for the lives of many soldiers."

You stare at Erwin, unsure of what to say. You'd never really thought about it like that- you'd
only been focused on saving your own ass and killing as many as possible.

"No problem?" you squeak out, feeling your cheeks heating up under the praise.

You hear Levi snort behind you.

"And I also owe you an apology," the commander continues, and you're starting to squirm in
your chair. "We sent all of the 104th with the exception of Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and Jean
into Wall Rose to be kept under surveillance. We have reason to suspect that these titan
shifters may be working together, seeing as how the colossal and armored titans worked
together to break into Wall Maria five years ago. We couldn't risk having either of those titans
pop up while attempting to capture Annie Leonhart."

Your head feels like it's going to topple off your shoulders. "You think the armored and
colossal titans are among the 104th," you repeat.

Erwin nods. "That's correct. And apparently there's another one now- this beast titan you
mentioned, which I have some theories about-"
"Hang on," you interrupt, feeling mildly rude for cutting off your commander but not finding
it in you to care. "You thought I was a titan shifter?"

You swing around to Levi, suddenly hurt. They'd suspected you of being a titan in disguise?
Did they really not trust you?

"No," Levi says immediately, recognizing the look in your eyes. "I didn't."

"Unfortunately, personal trust from the corporal will only get you so far." You turn back to
Erwin, trying to mask your hurt. "We could only rule out those who had been proven
innocent. In the eyes of the other squad leaders, you're still a suspect, regardless of whether
you've been personally backed by the corporal or not."

"Ouch," you say aloud.

"Levi was very adamant that you weren't to be sent along with potential titan shifters without
gear," Erwin continues. "That would be why there was an extra set for you."

You glance back at Levi. His eyes are tipped down to the floor. You've already thanked him;
he knows you're grateful.

You turn back to Erwin, your head still reeling from everything he's telling you. He's trying to
say that the two titans that broke into the outer wall, the titans responsible for so much
slaughter and carnage- they're among your friends?

"You think my friends are titans," you say, trying to vocalize your thought process.

Erwin's expression doesn't change. "It's a theory."

You understand the silent question that's weighing down the room. Erwin's asking you a
question: do you have any idea? It's bizarre to you. He's asking you to try and determine if
some of your friends, some of the people you've spent years working with, are enemies to
humanity. The idea is absurd. To the best of your knowledge, everyone is straightforward.
Sure, a few of them have talked to Annie, but hiding a personal agenda like that? That would
be huge.

"Think, Logan," Erwin says. "Anyone who seemed off, anyone who seemed to know more
than they were letting on."

Your head is swimming. He mentioned the titans working together: the female titan, the
armored titan, and the colossal titan- not counting that hairy titan you saw today. Annie was
the female. That means there's two others, two hiding in... hiding in the 104th. Obviously,
they'd have to be close, and maybe a bit unusual? Annie was quiet and on her own- she had
her own schedule and own plans. These two were probably like that too, having a bigger
plan- they'd have to collaborate with Annie, maybe a joint thing- but who would...

Your train of thought stops.

Erwin must recognize the way your face goes slack and your eyes widen in some sort of
realization, because he shifts forward and straightens up in his seat.
"There's no way," you whisper, unable to even think about considering the possibility.

"Who?" he asks.

"There's no way," you repeat, your voice rising. "I've been friends with these people for
years, they wouldn't-"

"Logan," Erwin says firmly. "Who."

It's a statement, not a question. You hear Levi push himself off of the wall behind you,
catching on to the fact that you've got an idea of who. You don't want to say it, you don't want
to entertain the notion that some of your friends could be mass murderers...

But then again, who are you to talk? You've probably killed your fair share of people in the
underground. So has Levi, for that matter. Your friends don't know that, obviously. But they
still hang out with you. Who are you to know?

The more you think about it, the more plausible it is. The little things are starting to add up...

"Reiner and Bertolt," you whisper.

Erwin's face doesn't change.

"There was something they said back in Wall Rose," you say stiffly, eyes glued to Erwin's
desk. You shake your head slowly, like you can't believe what you're saying. "Something
that's been bothering me. When Nanaba- Squad Leader Nanaba showed up to tell us titans
were coming. Wait- before that, Sasha heard footsteps," you recall, reaching out to latch your
hand onto the edge of Erwin's desk. You need to keep yourself stable. "And Reiner dismissed
her, saying that titan footsteps would mean Wall Rose was broken, and Bertolt..." God, this
shouldn't be making sense- "Bertolt said it was impossible. Like he was sure it was. It wasn't
just confidence."

Erwin hasn't said a word. Neither has Levi.

The words pour out of you and you can't stop them. "I thought it was weird because Bertolt,
he's..." you trail off. "He's not normally very confident. He's a follower, he does what Reiner
does. But he sounded so assured that it confused me. And then when Nanaba showed up to
say that titans were coming, he and Reiner..."

You feel sick to your stomach. "Bertolt still insisted it wasn't possible," you say shakily. "And
he and Reiner both looked..." You try to remember what transpired just a few hours ago.
"They both looked like they were having their own conversation, if that makes sense."

"It does," Erwin assures you.

"What if..." You squeeze your eyes shut, unwilling to believe it. "They said it was impossible
because they figured it was, because they were the only ones who could-"

Your stomach feels like it's churning.

"Annie didn't talk to many people, but... I think I saw her talk to Reiner or Bertolt a few
times," you add subconsciously. "And the three of them were together during the Battle of
Trost. I thought it was weird because they all seemed close but Annie hadn't really talked to
them much in training..." Almost like the flip of a switch, you straighten up. "I could be
stretching this," you say quickly, because this feels like a betrayal of the highest order.
"There's no way those two could just- could just be titans. I could just be paranoid, I-"

"Logan."

You quiet down immediately, trying to force yourself to relax.

"We suspect Reiner and Bertolt as well," Erwin says.

"You do?"

"Annie's background check came in barely half an hour ago." He straightens up in his seat,
glancing at Levi. "Reiner and Bertolt both hail from the same hometown Annie did. They're
our prime suspects as of now, but your encounters give us more evidence. Thank you."

Thank you? You're discovering that your friends are trying to kill everyone inside these walls
and he's thanking you?

"She's done," Levi says from behind you.

Erwin nods. "Alright. Go get some rest. I'll have Hange wake you up when they're getting
ready to leave."

You feel a hand on your shoulder. You know it's Levi, but it still feels like your brain is
spinning like a top inside your skull, and you can't see properly. "She'll be with me," Levi
says firmly.

"I see." You can vaguely make out Erwin nodding. "Alright. See you tomorrow, Logan.
Levi."

The hand on your shoulder clamps down and tugs, a sharp gesture to pull you up from your
seat. Clumsily, you stand, following where Levi's hand is steering you. He could direct you
right off the edge of a roof right now and you'd probably just step right off.

You would've known. Right? You would've known if Reiner and Bertolt were titans in
disguise.

...Right?

Absently, you follow Levi out of Erwin's office, head spinning so much that it feels like you
may collapse.
Chapter End Notes

Happy Friday friends!!

Thank you so much for your kind comments (Liane and Laura, I've seen yours (whole
essays god damn), I'm gonna respond to them when I have more time on my hands) and
I truly do appreciate each and every one of you.

FINALLY getting into some smut next chapter. About damn time.

As usual, I love you guys. Stay safe and healthy!! <3

 2-3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

It feels like there's a bell between your ears, ringing so loudly that you can't see straight.
Everything's passing by you like a blur, the walls of headquarters, a few other people walking
in the other direction. You have no idea who they are or even where you're headed.

Reiner and Bertolt. Enemies of humanity.

You've lived alongside them for years, sparred with them, ate with them, laughed with
them, hugged them, and all this time, they've been responsible for-

Something lightly taps your cheek. "Oi. Snap out of it."

"What?" you say stupidly.

"Get your shit together." You're trying to comprehend what Levi's saying, but his voice is
competing with the ringing in your ears. You blink rapidly, trying to refocus. He sighs. "L,"
Levi says firmly. "Come on. Sit down."

As you blink yourself out of your stupor, you realize you're in Levi's room. You don't even
remember coming here. You squeeze your eyes shut and inhale through your nose, then
exhale through your mouth. Levi's right- you can't allow yourself to be put off by this. You
need to get your shit together.

"Sorry," you mutter.

Levi doesn't reply. You see him take off his coat and fold it up, tucking it away into one of his
dresser drawers. "Sit down," he repeats.

You lower yourself to the mattress, sitting down on the edge of Levi's bed. Your fingernails
dig into the soft cushion, grounding yourself.

"You want food?"

You shake your head. "Not hungry."

Levi crosses his room and sits down next to you. You keep your eyes trained downwards,
studying the floor. It feels like you're starting to settle down; not as much is spinning and you
can feel the ringing in your ears subside.

"Can you do it?"

You glance up at Levi. "Can I what?"

"Can you kill them," Levi says, and your stomach immediately feels queasy. "Bertolt and
Reiner."

Could you? If you had the opportunity, could you kill them? Just the idea of it makes you feel
nauseous. Maybe you'd have an easier time doing it if you'd witnessed the horrors they'd
caused- you'd been in a coma and hadn't even completely understood what the man was
trying to tell you about walls coming down. They'd killed so many people, caused so much
destruction- if it's even them.

That last thought resonates in you. What if it's not Reiner and Bertolt? What if all of this
hypothesizing and theorizing is for nothing?

"I would need confirmation," you say hollowly. "I would need proof that these two are who
we think they are. Then..." you trail off. "I don't know."

"You don't have to go tomorrow."

"I do," you say immediately, because that, at the very least, you're sure of. You need to be
there. "I'm sorry," you add, locking eyes with Levi. In the very minimal lighting left from
outside, his eyes almost look dull blue. "I know you don't want me to go, but I..."

Levi reads into your guilt. He reaches his hand up and his fingertips shift over the base of
your skull, then up slightly higher on your head. He pulls you towards him and presses his
lips to your forehead. "Go," he says quietly as he pulls back, "but come back to me."

You nod. "I promise."

He stares at you for a moment, grey eyes boring into yours. He seems to sense your
hesitation, and he raises an eyebrow. Silent question.

"I..." you trail off. "I want to forget it all," you say softly, eyes drifting down to glare at Levi's
lap. "Forget my friends, forget Reiner and Bertolt, forget my dad- and I know I shouldn't, I
can't, but I just want to ignore it for a night," you whisper, feeling rather small.

You don't know if you worded that properly. You definitely don't want to forget those things,
you don't- you care more about your friends than you do for yourself- but there's nothing you
can do about it right now, and there's no sense worrying sick over them.

Levi, as he always does, understands. He nods, eyes soft. "Alright."

He leans in, and Levi captures your mouth with his. You sigh happily, grateful for the time
that you have to spend with him, seeing as how it comes rarely and only ever in short supply.
His tongue pushes at your lips and you don't even have to think twice as you open your
mouth to him. Levi's warm muscle pushes up against yours, prodding gently.

His other hand reaches for your hip, clamping on tight, and you settle one hand on his thigh
to steady yourself. Even though the both of you are sitting down, you still feel like you might
tumble over.
Levi's lips push harder, move faster, and it's all you can do just to keep pace with him. His
fingers tangle up in the hair at the back of your head- messed up beyond quick repair, you're
sure- and his other hand keeps shifting, moving up your side to your ribs and then back down
to your hip. When his hand skims over your ribs, you have to keep yourself from wincing. It
doesn't hurt, but it's tender.

Unfortunately, he notices. Levi pulls back, hand dropping from your ribs to your waist.
"Hurts?"

"No," you defend immediately. "Just- just sore."

Lightly, Levi shifts you, then nudges your shoulders so that you fall back against his bed. You
freeze up as Levi moves so that he's straddling your legs, his pelvis dangerously near
brushing against yours.

"Levi," you whisper, confused and also hellishly turned on.

He lowers himself down so that his chest is flush with yours, face hanging right above yours.
You can count every single one of his eyelashes. "Tell me if you want me to stop," he
murmurs, his voice low.

Never. You'd never tell him to stop- you trust Levi with your life. "I won't," you say, and you
feel one of his hands ghost over your waistline, right where your shirt meets your pants. "But,
Levi- what are you-"

"Not all the way," Levi interrupts, knowing exactly what you're thinking. "You're injured. If
you're going on that expedition tomorrow, I'm not going to make it worse. But," he whispers,
and his lips drop next to your ear, "there's so much I want to do to you."

Your blood simultaneously runs cold and heats up at the same time. How, you're not sure.

"So much," he continues softly, his lips gently pressing at the soft spot behind your ear. Your
breath hitches in your throat. "So much to do to you, for you," Levi says, lips touching your
pulse point. "Let me."

You'd let him run you over with a fucking wagon piled high with the weight of the entire
military base on it. You'd let him do whatever the hell he wanted to you, no questions asked.
Maybe it's the lusty haze that's swallowing your brain, maybe it's the overwhelming amount
of feelings you have for Levi that seem to double every single time you see him. Your heart
feels like it's going to burst in your chest, but you couldn't give two shits because Levi's
kissing every part of your neck and you might combust.

"Do whatever you want," you whisper back, your voice an octave higher than it should be.
"Whatever you want."

Levi hums softly against your neck, slowly working his way down across your collarbone.
He's sucking lightly, and you're not sure whether you want him to make a mark or not- that'd
be a pain to explain.
He's keeping himself propped up with one arm, the other near your waist. His fingers are
tracing the skin at your hip, skimming over the scars you've collected there. Levi's mouth
leaves your neck and you nearly gasp as he sits up, settling his weight back onto his heels.
His fingers move to the buttons of your shirt and he starts to undo them; his eyes are locked
on yours the entire time.

His gaze is hypnotizing. You can't look away; you can't speak.

When the last button of your shirt is undone, Levi opens up the blood stained cloth, revealing
your bra and your ribs wrapped tightly in bandages. He doesn't even look: Levi keeps his
eyes locked on yours as he leans back down, propping himself up on his forearms as he leans
in to kiss you again.

This time, his lips seems to scald you. They burn your mouth like tea that you've taken too
quickly, before you've given it the chance to cool down. The heat dances across your lips and
spreads across your face like wildfire.

He pulls back, and you blurt out, "Levi."

Levi pauses, hovering above you.

"I..."

The air leaves your chest. There's so much you want to say, so much you need to put out
there. The words are hovering on the tip of your tongue: I love you. It doesn't feel quite right,
to say it here, but you feel like it needs to be said, like it needs to be out there. You know it's
true; you feel it stronger than anything you've ever felt in your life.

"I can do things for you too," is what you settle on instead, and if you were functioning
properly, you'd probably smack yourself in the forehead.

Levi's expression looks troubled for a fleeting moment, like he recognized what you were
thinking about saying. He seems almost relieved that you didn't. "You don't need to," he
replies. "You're injured. This is about you."

"You're injured too," you argue, eyes flickering to Levi's ankle.

"Hardly counts. It's not stopping me from doing this." His eyes lower. "Your ribs, on the other
hand, are too risky."

You know. Logically, you know it makes more sense. Still.

"Okay," you agree quietly. "But I'm up next time."

His lips twitch. "Fine."

Levi lowers himself down to you again, and his lips latch onto the top of your breast. Your
breath seems to stutter in your throat and you bite the inside of your cheek to squash your
groan as Levi kisses the top of your chest, right where your breast is covered by your bra.
He doesn't remove it. You're grateful; it'd probably be more trouble than it's worth. Instead,
Levi raises a hand and starts to massage your other tit, thumb brushing over where your
nipple has pebbled against the fabric.

With his mouth on one breast and hand on the other, you feel... well, you're not entirely sure.
There's anxiety, sure, the anxiety of being seen like this by Levi, but there's also excitement,
and right now the excitement's the largest force in your brain. But there's also some sort of
lust, some sort of desire that's pinching at the bottom of your stomach, bubbling like acid. It
seems to go hand in hand with the excitement; as Levi shoves part of your bra down to kiss
your nipple, your brain seems to turn on some sort of alarm bell.

He's good. Whatever he's doing, it's good. "Good," you murmur, fingers digging into the bed
sheets as you try to ground yourself. "Feels- fuck, you're good."

Levi lifts his head, raising an eyebrow. "I know."

The cockiness shoots another spike of pleasure straight down to your groin. Levi's hand
sneaks into your bra and for a half second, the anxiety rises, but it's squashed almost
immediately: Levi's listening to you, feeling for how you respond, what you react well to.
He's moving slowly and learning as he goes, mapping you out and learning your body as best
he can.

You don't even know what to do with your hands. Your nails are dragging along the bed
sheets as you squirm beneath Levi, his tongue painting wet stripes across your chest and into
your cleavage.

His tongue burns, his touch burns, and then his lips scald as they travel down to your
bandaged ribs. Despite the cloth in the way, you can still feel the heat, the passion behind
Levi's mouth. He's gentle, almost overwhelmingly so, his hands barely there. He's minding
your ribs, kissing softly all the way down to your naval, until his lips are right above your
belt line.

It's not enough. You can feel the blazing heat in the pit of your stomach; you need Levi to do
something about it.

"Levi," you force out as his hand grips tight on your hip, "hurry up."

He looks up. The dark burning in his eyes sends goosebumps up your spine. "I think I'll take
my time," he replies, eyes flashing. "You can be patient."

Fuck, you nearly whine. Levi turns his head back down again, and his lips kiss one of the
scars above your hip. You've got two, one on either side- one is from Willem, back at the
farm, and the other is from Levi, back when you first met. The one from Willem is covered
by the bandages, but the wound Levi gave you- the one you don't remember- is free, and
that's where Levi's mouth is burning you now.

You feel Levi's thumb push at the button of your pants.

"We have time," Levi murmurs, and his fingers drag the zipper of your pants down,
torturously slowly. "Still good?"

You nod vigorously, propping yourself up onto your elbows. "Good, but come on, Levi."

He smirks. "I didn't teach you to be impatient."

"Well, you never were a very patient teacher."

"L." Levi's voice softens, and you let your head fall back against the bed with a soft sigh. "I
want this to be nice for you," he says quietly, and your eyebrows fly to the top of your head
when you realize the implications of what Levi's saying: he's nervous. Has he ever done this
before? "Let me know. Okay?"

Fuck, he's actually nervous. Granted, so are you, being at Levi's mercy like this. It makes you
feel a bit better.

"Tell me you're okay."

"I'm okay."

No sooner has the word left your mouth when one of Levi's fingers presses up against your
heat.

You immediately squirm, the feeling not new but somehow more prominent than any other
time you've done this alone. Levi's eyes are glued to you, watching for clues, making mental
notes as he drags his finger up the seam of your pants. There's spark, tingles shooting up your
stomach and dancing between your thighs.

"Haven't even taken anything off yet," Levi says lowly, and it almost sounds like the fucker is
teasing you.

"Shut up," you choke out.

Levi's finger lifts away, and you can't stop the hiss that escapes your lips from the pressure
being gone. He grabs the hem of your pants and tugs lightly; you get the hint to lift your hips
and let him work your pants off of your body. You're grateful for the fact your bra and shirt
are still on (more or less) because being completely naked while Levi's still fully clothed
feels much too nerve wracking.

Levi tugs your boots off, then your socks, then follows with your pants. He takes his time,
folding your clothing and setting it on the dresser behind the bed. He sets your boots down
next to the bed and you subconsciously squeeze your thighs together.

"Hey," Levi says sternly, and he crawls overtop of you again. You lose your breath as he
leans in close, lips ghosting over your forehead, then your nose, then finally touching your
lips. "Enough of that."

Your face feels like it's on fire. "Enough of what?"

"Thinking."

"Thinking?"

"You're overthinking." Levi kisses you again, soft and tender. "You're perfect. Think anything
else and I'll have you scrubbing the bathrooms."

You can't help it; you laugh. "Alright," you say, unable to help your smile. You can't help the
happy feeling blooming in your chest- Levi thinks you're perfect. "Alright," you repeat, and
you lean your head up to kiss him. "Thank you."

He grunts as if to say it's no problem. He kisses you leisurely, lips slanted against yours-
you'll never get tired of how well he fits, how well his mouth matches yours.

Then, two of his fingers press up against your panties.

A gasp tears itself from your lungs. The pressure is wonderful, so much better than anything
you've ever felt before, and he hasn't even done anything yet. All he's done is place his
fingers against your cunt.

You can't find it in you to kiss him back anymore; you're too focused on the pressure between
your thighs. You tip your head back, and you feel Levi lift his head up. "Oh my god," you
whisper as Levi starts to move his fingers in slow circles. "Oh, shit, Levi."

"Good?" he murmurs.

"Duh," you choke back.

You feel Levi huff- almost like a laugh- and you crane your neck up to look at him. His
feverish eyes are locked on you, on the way your chest rises and falls with every strangled
breath, on the way your eyes are darting rapidly from his face to his fingers, on the way your
hands are scrambling to find grip in the sheets. With the sweat beginning to form on your
forehead and your lips parted to form his name, Levi thinks you're the most beautiful person
he's ever seen.

Levi's fingers leave your pussy and you choke from the lack of pressure.
"God dammit, Levi," you demand hoarsely.

"Just getting this out of the way," he mutters.

His fingers latch onto the cloth at your hips, and Levi lowers your panties. You raise your
hips to help him as he works them down your legs and off, setting them on the dresser next to
your pants. With your dripping, aching cunt revealed to him, you can't help but feel
squeamish, but Levi isn't even looking. His eyes are still locked on you, like your eyes are the
only things that matter.

Levi slowly lowers himself over top of you again, propping himself up with one arm. His
other arm is low, and you feel his fingertips at your hip. God, you can feel your own
discharge leaking from you already. "Levi," you whisper.
His lips land on yours. When he pulls up, he murmurs, "tell me if you want me to stop."

"I don't," you reply breathlessly.

Levi's eyes flash, and you feel the pad of his thumb press down on your clit. You arch your
back, stifling the moan that's rising in your chest. Levi rubs slow circles and you convulse
beneath him, overwhelmed by the pleasure that's claiming your abdomen and thighs.
Carefully, he lowers his head, and he presses his lips to your neck.

As his thumb moves in slow circles, two of his fingers reach low, then slowly drag up
through your cunt. You can feel your slick coating Levi's fingers and you're no longer able to
hide your voice: you moan, trying to keep your voice down but unable to keep it in. Levi's
lips are hot against your skin, but his fingers are cool and slender, moving across and through
your folds with painful patience.

"Levi," you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut as he does it again, letting his index and middle
fingers slide back and forth. "Levi, fuck."

At your words, he seems to remember your clit, and he presses down on it, hard. You whine,
lost in your own head. The feeling is so blissful, so surreal, so unlike anything you've ever
felt before. Something's growing, something's building up, sizzling in the pit of your stomach
and burning your insides.

Levi slides one finger inside you and you bite down hard on the inside of your cheek.
Leisurely, he pumps his finger in and out, continuing to massage slow circles onto your clit.

"God," you say through gritted teeth, arching your back into his touch. "Fuck, Levi,
more- please-"

He listens. Levi pushes a second finger into you and you moan, toes curling into the sheets.
His teeth graze your neck- he can give you bruises that turn fucking black for all you care at
this point- and you let your eyes flutter shut, enjoying the overwhelming pleasure that's rising
in every single inch of your body.

Levi's other hand seeks out yours, and you don't hesitate to lace your fingers together. You
squeeze hard, grateful for the anchor, because Levi's fingers are tearing you to pieces.

"Fuck," you groan, because something wickedly good is building up in your core.
"Levi, god."

He continues lightly kissing your neck, like he hasn't noticed how he's making you fall apart
at his touch. The coolness of his fingers and the constant pressure is making you feel like
you're going to combust. Levi's dangerously good at this; he feels for when you gasp, when
you squirm. He's observant, you've always known that, but now it's serving you so well.

You can feel it building, feel your climax coming with every stroke of Levi's fingers, every
rub of his thumb, every kiss of your neck. You squeeze Levi's hand hard enough to break the
bones in his fingers.
"Levi," you choke out, but then Levi's fingers find some sort of sensitive spot in you and your
mind goes blank. Something guttural and obscene rips itself from your mouth, but you're too
fucking ecstatic to be ashamed. White hot pleasure burns through you, from your pussy to the
tips of your toes to the top of your scalp; every inch of you feels like it's on fire.

Levi coaxes you through your orgasm, slowing down his motions. He lifts his head and kisses
you square on the mouth as you ride through the rest of your high, mind slipping down from
one of the best places you've ever been.

When he feels that you've stopped shaking, Levi lifts himself up, eyes searching yours.
"Well?"

You try to gather air into your lungs, and when you finally have your breath back, you force a
grin. "Mind blowing," you say with a smile.

Levi smiles softly, and he kisses you again, soft and caring. He still hasn't let go of your hand,
but you allow your other hand to slide up his back and into his hair. When he hops off, Levi's
got a satisfied smirk plastered on his face. He pads over to his desk and you see him grab a
box of tissues, probably to clean himself up. You want to return the favor, but you feel
drained of energy- you'd rather not get up.

Levi sees you looking at him and he glances back at you. "Sleep," he orders. "You've got to
get up soon and you need the rest."

"I'm fine," you protest.

What a lie. As soon as your head hits Levi's pillow, you feel your exhaustion catch up with
you. You're vaguely aware of Levi tugging the sheet out from under you, cleaning you up and
sliding your underwear back on, then covering you with a new blanket. Your limbs feel
heavy; your head feels like a deadweight.

The last thing you remember is Levi sliding into bed next to you before you pass out.

You wake up to a bang on the door.

You sit yourself up in a panic, but Levi's hand is immediately on your thigh to keep you still.
You glance at him, but the knock comes again. "Logan!" Hange's voice calls, and you sigh.
"Erwin told me I could find you here! C'mon, we're gonna get going so that we can make it to
the wall as the sun comes up!"

"I'll be out in a minute," you call back tiredly.

Apparently, that was the wrong answer, because Hange barges in. Levi sits up next to you,
groaning, and Hange squeals. "Aw! Look at my favorite couple! Sharing a bed and-"

"Hange!" Levi barks, and you feel his fingernails dig into your thigh. You don't mind. "Get
out. She'll be out in a minute."
"Fine, fine, no need to be snappy." Hange's eyes scan the room, and you're starting to realize
why Levi wanted them out right away- they're much too observant for their own good
sometimes. Hange glances at Levi's dresser and their eyes blow as wide as dinner plates.
"Logan, are those your-"

"Out!" you and Levi snap in unison.

Hange doesn't even look upset. They turn on their heel and close the door behind them with a
resounding bang, probably waking up anyone else in the hallway who isn't already awake.
You groan, collapsing your forehead into your palms.

"My pants," you mutter into your hands.

Levi swings his legs off the bed and heads over to what Hange's eyes had landed on: your
pants, folded neatly on top of his dresser. He tosses them to you, and with a sigh, you start
wiggling them on. You hadn't minded sleeping with your legs bare; the skin-to-skin contact
with Levi had been worth it.

You and Levi change in silence. Levi grabs himself a new shirt and you get an eyeful of his
back muscles as he changes. When his shirt is pulled on, he tosses you one. "You have my
size?" you say in surprise, holding up the white button down.

He shrugs. "Kept a spare in your size. Just in case."

Your chest warms. "Thank you," you murmur, holding it to your chest before you shed your
old shirt and start pulling the new one on.

It fits you perfectly. You stand up, twisting side to side as you stretch lightly in preparation
for the mission you're about to leave on. It's just recon, figuring out where the hole in the wall
is and getting it patched- but you'd be stupid to assume that no fighting will happen.

You nearly jolt as you remember your conversation with Erwin yesterday. Reiner and Bertolt-
those two could be the source of your problems.

You swing your legs off of the bed and start pulling on your boots. Levi's question from
yesterday rings clear in your head: could you do it? Could you kill them? You'd need proof,
definite proof- your 'theories' from one conversation shouldn't count for anything.

"Hey."

You glance up at Levi. He's leaning against the desk.

"Get going."

Frowning, you look down again and blank. You'd finished lacing your boots long ago; you've
been glaring at the floor for who knows how long. With a sigh, you push yourself up. "I'll
need to stop by my barracks for my cloak," you say, "and then gear."

Levi nods. He doesn't look particularly upset, but... he doesn't look happy either.
"I'll be back," you promise him, reaching for his hand. He lets you take it, and you squeeze
tight. "I promise. I'll see you soon."

He nods again, dropping your hand. "Don't do anything stupid. See you soon."

With a nod, you stand up. You take all of two steps to the door before you spin back around
and surge back towards Levi. He moves towards you at the same time, and your lips meet.
You grab as much of him as you can reach, from his hips to his shoulders to his head. One of
Levi's arms wraps tight around your waist while the other hand threads up into your hair,
holding on tight as he kisses you firmly.

Levi pulls back first. He doesn't say a word, but he squeezes your hip one last time.

Nodding, you pull away from him. Then, you head towards the door to his room and you
don't look back.

Getting your combat gear is a blur. Your feet move on their own, navigating through the halls
until you're at your own bed and you're pulling on your cloak. Then you're off again, headed
down to the equipment shed to get your gear. Your promise to Levi rings clear in your head:
you'll be back. You told him you would. This is just supposed to be a recon and wall repair
mission; danger should be minimal.

Fuck- Reiner and Bertolt.

You need a way to test this. Need a way to prove this.

When you make it to the stables, just about everyone is there already. The first person you see
is Eren, and his eyes widen when he sees you. "Hey," he says, nodding to you as you move
closer. "You okay? Everyone heard about you and Squad Leader Mike."

Holy shit, that was only yesterday. It feels like it was ages ago. "Yeah, I'm fine," you say
evenly, glancing around. "Are the others coming?"

"I'm here," someone says from behind you, and you turn to see Armin. He gives you a
friendly wave. "Good to see you. Have you been debriefed by Squad Leader yet?"

It takes you a second to realize that he's talking about Hange. "No."

Armin beckons for you to come with him, and you fall into step with him. Mikasa appears
out of nowhere, coming up on Eren's other side, and she nods to you. The nod holds a bit
more weight than you were expecting: being here on this team proves your innocence among
the 104th, which means you're an ally. You're betting Mikasa sees this as very black and
white, and you're grateful she trusts you now- not that she had any reason not to before.

"How'd Annie's capture go?" you finally ask, glancing at Mikasa.

"Messy," she says firmly.

Armin clears his throat awkwardly. "Big fight inside Stohess. Lots of civilian casualties."
You wince. Erwin hadn't really gone into detail.

You're cut off from saying anything else when Hange steps up in front of you, stopping your
little squad of four. "Good to go?" they ask, and everyone nods. Hange pulls up a folded
document and opens it. "Alright. I've got some sensitive information, but it's important to this
mission and I expect you to keep it to yourselves."

All four of you nod. Your fingernails pinch into your palms as you clench your hands into
fists.

"Annie's background check came in," Hange says, glancing at the paper. "Looks like two
others from the 104th were born in the same region: Bertolt Hoover and Reiner Braun."

Oh. You knew this already- Erwin told you yesterday.

"Huh?" Eren says in surprise. "You don't mean-"

"All of the family documentation is in pretty rough shape, considering what happened five
years ago," Hange explain, looking at the document again. "So we only just got this
information. Additionally, Reiner and Bertolt were among the group that were told Eren
resided on the right side of the formation, which is where Annie struck first."

So many clues, so much more evidence- how much longer can you keep denying this to
yourself?

"This doesn't prove anything," Hange says, folding the paper up again. "But we need to be
cautious."

"Logan," Armin says quietly, and you glance at him. "You don't seem all that surprised."

Well, shit. You hate how perceptive Armin is sometimes- even Mikasa looked mildly
surprised by the news in her own way. "Yeah, I already knew," you say, and Eren stiffens. "I
just found out a few hours ago. Talking to Erwin."

"Why would he tell you that?" Eren asks. He looks almost offended. "Why would he-"

"Because I guessed it was them," you interrupt, glancing at the boy, and his eyes widen in
some sort of fury. "Erwin told me of his theory that the other titans could be part of the 104th,
and..." you trail off, glancing up at Hange. Their lips are pursed; you're betting Erwin's
already told them. "Just some things they were saying," you mutter, feeling embarrassed for
being put on the spot. "It added up."

"There's no way," Eren retorts, hands clenching into fists. "Bertolt's always silent, and
Reiner's like our big brother- he couldn't deceive us."

"I want to believe that," you say tiredly. "Believe me, I do."

"Reiner was trapped in Annie's hand," Armin says, and he's got a look in his eye- the same
one you saw when he asked you about your amnesia. He's figured something out. "And he
got away. Right after he did, Annie changed direction and headed to the center squad. I had
guessed out loud where you were, but she couldn't have heard."

Eren turns on his friend, straightening up. "What are you saying, Armin?"

"But Reiner would've heard?" Hange says thoughtfully, raising a hand to their chin.

Armin's eyes are as round as dinner plates. "He asked me about it," he says slowly, and a look
passes across his face like he's haunted. "And Annie was staring at her palm- like- like Reiner
could've carved a message there."

The area is dead silent.

This is proof. You know it. This is cold, hard proof, but you still can't wrap your head around
it. Reiner- Reiner, who would always give you the best hugs, who would always spar with
you, who never got angry with you even after you spazzed out thanks to a flashback. You're
tempted to side with Eren on this one, but the logical side of you knows you can't.

Hange rallies the group again, and the last words you catch from them are "don't let them
know we suspect them. We have to lure them underground." Then, you're off to your horses,
mounting up and prepping yourselves to go.

You're fidgety on your horse, anxious to get going, when Hange rides up next to you.
"Feeling okay?"

"Fine," you say tightly, thinking that they're asking about your injuries.

Hange raises an eyebrow. "I meant about your father."

You're suddenly much more awake. "My- my who? You know?"

"Yeah." Hange glances sideways at Eren, but he's locked in a hushed conversation with
Mikasa. They turn back to you. "I wandered by the infirmary two days ago and I recognized
him. There was a broken window and he looked bent out of shape. Heard through a couple
other scouts that saw it that you were fighting him on the grass. If it makes you feel better, he
looked pretty awful."

It does make you feel better- you can't hide the smug satisfaction from your face. "Good,"
you say. "Erwin said he took off already. You have any idea where he is?"

Hange shakes their head, and you sigh. You're never going to be able to rest easy knowing
that he's out there. "I'm looking into it," they say, and you perk up. "Last name's Castello,
right? Moblit and I are asking around. Hopefully I can find out something about what your
family's up to."

"Really?" you say in surprise. "You- you're doing that?"

"Yep! Can't risk another kidnapping of our second best soldier," Hange jokes, patting you on
the shoulder. "I'll see what I can find out."
"Thank you, Hange," you say genuinely, not sure how to convey how grateful you are.
"Really. It- It means a lot."

"Of course. And, uh, for what it's worth..." their voice drops. "Thanks for saving Mike,"
Hange murmurs, and you smile weakly. "Erwin told me about this beast titan that you ran
into. We're keeping it on the down-low for now, so only a few of the superior officers know
about it. Do you have any theories about it?"

You shrug. "Not sure. I only know that it can speak, and it..." you trail off. "It took Mike's
gear," you confess. "So it'll have ODM gear."

Hange nods thoughtfully, and you see a familiar sparkle in their eyes. "Interesting. Every
titan shifter we've encountered seems to have distinct features- so this one's is the fur. I
wonder if there's anything else that's special about it?"

"Squad Leader!" someone calls, and you glance around Hange to see Moblit. "We need to
go," he says.

Hange sighs, and they clap your shoulder again. "Alright. Let's talk about it after the
mission."

"Right."

Feeling slightly more optimistic, you follow Hange as they guide the squad of scouts towards
the gates and out into the open, riding towards Wall Rose with the sun rising in the east.

With every second that passes, every whinny of the horse, every breath- your decision gets
closer. The hills are gorgeous, lit up with a beautiful sunrise glow, but you can't even
appreciate it like you should.

Reiner and Bertolt. They need to be killed.

You swallow hard, solidifying your resolve. If the opportunity presents itself, you'll get your
proof: you need a confession, a verbal agreement, something that will prove to you that these
two are titans and not just human.

How could you get a confession like that? At the first sign of danger, the first moment of
interrogation, they'll turn into titans- assuming all of these clues are correct. At this point, you
have little reason to believe otherwise. How could you...

How could you get proof? You're not about to attempt to kill your friends without proof.

Even as the remains of a large tower swarming with titans comes into view, you still can't
find your motivation. You still follow Hange's orders fine- kill titans, save the trapped people,
the usual- but your head feels dangerously fuzzy. You need to clear your mind, especially if
you're going to be approaching Reiner and Bertolt like nothing's happened.

After all the titans are dead- you've killed at least three or four- you start to realize who
you've saved. It's your friends, the 104th, the people you've been so worried about since you
returned to Wall Sheena with Mike in tow. After doing a head count, your worry still doesn't
lessen: Sasha's not here, and Ymir is down.

"Connie!" you call, waving a hand in the air as you run across heaps of rubble. "Hey,
Connie!"

The short kid immediately lights up when he sees you, and he waves. "Hey, Logan! You
made it back okay!" He scampers over to you, clearing one of the piles of broken tower.
"Ymir and Krista said you took off to help Squad Leader Mike- did you?"

"Yeah," you say. "He's alive. Hurt, but alive. Where's Sasha?"

Connie's face falls slightly, and cold dread grips your stomach until he clarifies, "she headed
north to her home village. I haven't seen her since. But it's Sasha, she's probably fine."

You swallow hard. "Yeah, she'll be okay," you force out. "What's wrong with Ymir? Injured?"

Connie stops, and his face goes slack. "She, uh..." he trails off, glancing back towards where
the Survey Corps are getting Ymir into a stretcher. God, is one of her legs gone? "She turned
into a titan," he says.

The information doesn't register right away. "She- she what?"

"We were at the top of the tower- the squad leaders, they-" Connie waves a hand vaguely, but
you understand the implication and you wave him on. "Well, we were going to die, but Ymir
just- she just jumped off the tower and turned into a titan."

What the hell? Eren, Annie, now Ymir- and possibly Reiner and Bertolt? What the fuck is up
with your graduating class?

"She's a titan?" you repeat, trying to comprehend it.

Connie nods vigorously. "Yeah. Small, scrawny thing with long hair and pointy ears. She was
super fast- took down a lot of the titans. But they would've done her in if you guys hadn't
shown up."

Alright. So that means she's not the colossal or armored. If she was, that would almost be
worse, because you would've suspected Reiner and Bertolt for nothing. But her being another
titan- how many are out there? Eren, Annie, Ymir, the hairy one, Reiner and Bertolt- that's at
least six. Holy shit.

"Logan?"

"Sorry," you say, realizing you've gone quiet. "Just- just thinking. What about the others- the
squad leaders?"

You shouldn't have asked; the look on Connie's face is answer enough. You press a hand to
your forehead, reeling. Nanaba? She'd seemed so capable...
"Shit," you mumble to yourself. If you had stayed, would you have been able to save her? If
you hadn't gone back to save Mike, would Nanaba and maybe the other squad leaders still be
here? No, you saved Mike, it was worth the trip- but Nanaba...

Fuck, you hate this.

One thing at a time: right now, Reiner and Bertolt.

"Alright," you say slowly, glancing back towards Connie. "Glad you're okay. I've got to... I've
got to go."

You give Connie a quick hug- god, it's good to know he's alive and okay- and jog over to the
wall, where Ymir's being loaded up onto a lift to be taken to the top of the wall. Sure enough,
her wounds are spewing grey steam, billowing up into the sky. She's healing.

Ymir, a titan. Will wonders never cease.

Some of the scouts are climbing the wall, so you join them. With the gear heavy on your hips,
you shoot your hooks up into the wall and let them pull you up, head spinning.

Reiner and Bertolt. You need to find Reiner and Bertolt.

You're barely there mentally when one of the Garrison comes back to say there's no hole in
the wall, and you're hardly paying attention when Hange declares that everyone is going to
regroup at Trost. When the information starts to sink in, you nearly have to sit down. No hole
in the wall? Then how the hell did all those titans get in here?

Focus, Logan. One problem at a time.

Right- one thing at a time. Right now, you've got to focus on Reiner and Bertolt. That's the
problem you need to tackle: getting that proof. Maybe it could wait, wait like Hange wants
to, to lure them into the basements- but if one of them really can turn into a fifty meter titan,
then you're not sure how much it would help. If you could do something now and get the
jump on them, the surprise might be enough.

You need backup first.

You glance around the wall. Everyone is milling about, regrouping, gathering equipment.
Down the length of the wall, you see Reiner and Bertolt. Reiner's got his arm in a sling.
They're talking to Eren- oh, holy shit, they're talking to Eren.

You start to make your way over. As you expected, Mikasa's hanging out nearby, trying not to
look like she's eavesdropping. Wherever Eren is, Mikasa is never very far.

"Mikasa," you call, waving a hand to her.

The only indication she gives you that she's heard you is a slight inclination of her chin. You
jog over to her, trying to keeping an eye on the conversation going on between Reiner,
Bertolt, and Eren. "You think they're guilty?" you murmur, hoping she knows what you're
talking about.
Mikasa's eyes narrow. "Yes."

Right. Go figure. "Could you take Reiner if things go south?" you mutter. "I'll take Bertolt.
I'm thinking we ambush them."

Mikasa studies you. You know Eren's safety is her top priority, so your request shouldn't be
too far outside of her goals, but she definitely looks like she's questioning your motives.
There's a heavy silence, and you know she's going to need more persuasion- she's not
convinced you're not going to be putting Eren in more danger.

"They're not as dangerous if they're separated," you murmur, eyes flickering to the trio.
"Taking them on individually might be our best chance." Eren's started to talk- it still looks
mostly civilized. You sigh softly, and you admit, "I need to hear it for myself. I need proof
before I do anything."

"You're crazy," Mikasa says immediately. "We can't wait."

"Maybe," you agree. "But I want to wait for confirmation. After that, it's fair game."

Mikasa stares at you for a long time. Then, she says, "fine."

Your shoulders slip in relief: Mikasa's got your back. You nod to her, swallowing hard. You
pick your feet up and starting heading over, calming your nerves.

You mean it just to be a walk by. Walk by, keep your footsteps silent, stay in the blind spot of
Reiner and Bertolt, see if you can overhear anything. If you can't, you'll stay in range. You're
betting that if anyone can get them to confess, it would be Eren, the only other titan shifter.
Well... only other besides Ymir, who's unconscious, and Annie, who's captured.

You slow your footsteps and calm your heart. You're in Reiner's blind spot, at least, but if
Bertolt wanted to look for you, he could. He seems pretty enraptured with whatever Reiner's
saying, though. You might be safe.

It's nothing. A simple stroll past your friends. That's all.

You're a few steps past the trio when you hear, "if only we never heard that those bastards
existed. Then we wouldn't have become these half-hearted pieces of shit."

That's almost enough to make you pause. You've never heard Reiner talk like that. Still, you
keep your distance and keep your pace, stepping around them.

Reiner's still talking. You try your best to listen, but you're almost too far away now. You
glance behind you casually, eyes flickering to Mikasa, who's also eavesdropping. Reiner still
looks like he's talking, but he's removing his sling.

Then, steam starts to pour from his arm as he clenches his hand into a fist.

He's... healing himself.

No.
 Your heart plummets.

So it's true.

These two, your friends. They're monsters. Enemies of humanity. Responsible for the deaths
of hundreds. Reiner's healing like Eren, like only a titan shifter can, and Bertolt has his fists
clenched like he's ready for a fight. You see Mikasa start to move, and you force yourself to
step back towards them, hand settling on the handle of your blade.

Bertolt realizes you're there, and he starts to turn. His eyes widen. "Lo-"

You can't listen. If you listen, you'll hear the voice of a friend, the voice of someone who
you've bonded with over the past few years. You'll hear it and you'll falter. You shut off your
brain, not allowing yourself to process any of the other sounds around you.

You draw your blade, and with a heavy heart, you swing.

Chapter End Notes

I haven't written smut in so long and god damn was that shit therapeutic. I think I need
help.

One more chapter of season two, and next one's the longest to date. This one was
nearing 8k words and next is bordering on 9k! Still should be good to pump out weekly
updates so hey, I'm hoping there's no complaints about the longer chapters.

As usual: I love you guys. You make my world go round. <3

 2-4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Your blade strikes Bertolt in the side of the neck.

It's not a clean cut. Bertolt started leaning away from you and brought his hands up as soon as
he realized you were attacking him; your blade cut clean through one of his wrists and grazed
the side of his neck.

Behind him, Mikasa's lunged at Reiner. She's cut through one of his arms, but Reiner brought
his other arm up to block, and her blade's gotten stuck in his forearm.

Neither of you got a clean cut. They're both still dangerous.

"Eren!" Mikasa yells, and she jumps on top of Reiner, switching out her blade for a new one
and raising it above his throat. "Run!"

You can't waste any time either. You tackle Bertolt to the wall, bringing your blade up against
his neck. You can't even bring yourself to yell at him; all you can manage is a hoarse, "why?"

Kill him. He's right here, kill him-

"Logan!" Bertolt pleads, his eyes wide.

You steel your nerves and shove your blade downwards, right as there's a blinding blast of
heat and light.

You were too slow.

The gust of wind and force of the explosion throw you off, and the propulsion is unlike
anything you've ever felt. You go tumbling backwards, flipping through the air with no
control, the heat singeing your skin. The blast is ridiculously powerful, and there's nothing
you can do to stop yourself from soaring through the air, spinning without reason.

When you finally force your eyes open, you nearly scream. You're at least a dozen meters
above the wall, and then it's another fifty meters down. Fuck, you're high.

Gritting your teeth, you wait until your body stops going up and starts to come down to make
a plan. You're still spinning through the air, which is going to make stopping yourself
difficult, but not impossible. You've done spinning drills with Levi before, and you've used
them against titans: you can do this.

As soon as your body drops to about the same height as the wall, you shoot one of your
hooks into the brick. You stop spinning with a jolt, but your body is still going, and you use
your other hook to get yourself to stop.
Finally, you come to a halt. You're hanging against the side of the wall, hip bumping against
the brick as you gasp in cold air. You cough; your lungs sting. Your ribs feel like they're
squeezing your insides.

"Fuck," you snarl aloud.

You glance down at your hands. The blade in your hand is long since gone, tossed away in
the blast, and your palm is singed; it hurts to make a fist. Wincing, you reach up and gingerly
touch your face. Everything feels tingly, and you wonder how bad you look. How badly did
Bertolt burn you?

Bertolt. You couldn't kill him.

You look up, back to where the commotion is. Survey Corps members are swarming the half-
formed colossal titan on the wall. That's a plus from your attack, at least: Bertolt couldn't
transform properly.

Reiner's transformed and is brawling with a transformed Eren on the ground outside Wall
Rose. You've never seen the armored titan before, and he certainly lives up to his name: head
to toe in armor, glowing eyes, built about as tall as Eren. If you squint, you can make out a
figure zipping around Reiner- probably Mikasa.

Fuck. You need to help.

You reach for your other blade handle and cry out. "Shit!" you curse as the material rubs up
against your burned palm. Shit, does that sting.

Exhaling shakily, you grab one of the sleeves of your shirt and tug hard. After a few
successive yanks, the sleeve tears off. Grabbing one edge of it in your teeth, you rip the fabric
as best you can, then wrap it around your palm. It hurts, but it'll make it easier for you to grip
things. You tie the cloth off, blinking back tears that are sparking from the pain.

Alright. Tied off- good. You can go.

You retract one of your cables and start to swing back towards the action. Eren actually looks
like he's getting the upper hand on Reiner- some sort of submission, you can't help but be
proud- but ahead of you, the colossal titan roars, and steam explodes from its body.

So it can do it at will.

Not it- him. Bertolt. God, you've got to start considering him an enemy. You couldn't strike
the killing blow earlier; you'll never get that chance again.

"Come on," you mutter to yourself. "Come on, Logan, almost there."

You're closing in, debating whether to go to Reiner or Bertolt, when Reiner roars. The
armored titan's roar is deep and gravelly and it makes you wince- you resist the urge to cover
your ears. People start shouting, but you're still too far away to make the words out. Damn,
Bertolt's transformation threw you far. Good to know for next time. If there is a next time.
You're almost there- almost within striking distance- when Bertolt's titan screams and he
tumbles off the wall.

Considering his rib cage looked like it was embedded into the side of the wall, it's an
impressive feat. But with Bertolt's fall comes another explosion of heat and steam, which you
can feel despite being out of range. You swing yourself up onto the wall and start to run,
knowing that it'll be easier to move through the winds on foot than through the air.

"Hange!" you yell, because you can see the squad leader laying down on the wall,
unmoving. "Hange!"

There's too many people unconscious, too many people coughing to rid their lungs of smoke.
You sink to your knees next to Hange, hands flying to their shoulders so you can roll them
over. There's a nasty burn on their forehead and the side of their cheek.

"Hange," you say desperately, pressing your fingers to the side of their neck. When you feel a
pulse, you sigh in relief. "Alright. You're okay. Good."

You glance down the wall. There's still too much smoke to tell for sure what's going on down
there; the wind from Bertolt's titan is preventing you from even going down to check. You
grit your teeth and spin back to scan the wall; you have to focus on what you can do, not
what you can't. You can help people- you can grab the unconscious people. Yeah. That, you
can do.

You grab another scout that's facedown on the wall. A quick run through for injuries, pulse
check, flipped over and pulled next to Hange. "Logan!" someone calls, and you see someone
in a scouts cloak run towards you. He's wearing goggles. "You alright?"

How does everyone know you while you have no clue who these people are? "Fine!" you
call. "What do we do?"

The man shrugs- clearly he has no idea what the protocol is either. Who the hell could've
planned for a situation like this? "How's Squad Leader?" he asks.

You glance back at Hange. "Still unconscious, but alive," you say, turning back to him.
"Everyone's got burn scars but nothing that looks too serious- I think they're all surface level
burns."

"You've got them too," he notes, pointing to your face.

You scowl- you wish you could see them. "Don't feel it," you lie. "Sorry- what's your name?"

"Abel." He glances down at Hange and you can see the worry on his face- it's clear he cares.
"Okay. Let's grab everyone that can still move and get everyone laid out here," he instructs,
gesturing to where you've pulled up Hange and the other scout. "I'll get someone to grab the
med kits and see if there's anything that can be used for burns. You're good to use gear?"

You nod. "Yep."

Abel nods in return. "Okay. A few of them were on the ground trying to help out Eren. Check
up on them."

"Got it."

Abel seems to have his head on straight, he showed concern for your wellbeing, and his
orders are reasonable- you've got no problem following what he says. You're about to ask him
how many went after Eren when you hear booming footsteps and you immediately turn to the
wall, jogging to the edge to see what's going on.

Reiner's running. He's running away from the wall. You can see Bertolt perched on his neck,
someone in his arms- Ymir? You've got no doubt that he's got Eren too.

"Shit," you say aloud. "I can go after-"

"We've got no horses," Abel says, glancing down. "They're all still on the other side of the
wall. I know you're good, Logan, but you against two, maybe three titan shifters isn't a bet I
want to take."

Fair enough. You're not at your full strength either; even if you were, you're not sure there's
much you can do.

"Okay," you say, your eyes drilling holes into the back of Reiner's head. "I'll go to the
ground."

Without waiting for more instructions from Abel, you step off the side of the wall and fall.
There's steam rising from the two titan bodies- Eren's and Bertolt's- but it's not as hot or
painful as when Bertolt had transformed. You use your gear to catch yourself right before you
hit the ground, swooping leisurely to the grassy floor.

"Mikasa!" you call, because you're betting that she'd be anywhere that Eren was. "Mikasa!
You down here?"

Sure enough, you find her. She's laying on the ground, passed out, but she's alive. Armin is
there too, sitting with her. At least he's conscious.

Everything that happens after that is a blur. You help Armin get Mikasa to the top of the wall,
then spend much too long collecting injured scouts. At least everyone's alive- a first, you
think, for any sort of scouting mission. You help people up to the wall, carefully laying all of
the bodies next to each other. Abel is organizing the team at the top of the wall, assigning
people to be temporary medics and flying down the wall to grab any supplies left with the
horses.

You go back and forth, back and forth. Grabbing supplies, running between people. You run
out of gas once and have to restock.

By the time there's nothing more for you to do, you want to collapse. Every one of your limbs
feels weak and spent. How are you supposed to go after Reiner and Bertolt like this? ...Do
you even want to go after them?
"Logan?"

You glance sideways at the voice. It's Armin. "Hey," you say tiredly. "What's up?"

"Have you been checked out yet?" he asks, and his eyes flicker to your forehead. You know
what he's talking about; your burns. "All of the unconscious have been checked, so they've
got some time for you now."

"How bad is it?" you ask, resisting the urge to reach up and pat your forehead.

Armin's lips pinch into a line. "It's not bad," he says, but you're not sure if you believe him.
"Looks like it might be deep, though."

You snort. "Another one for the scar collection."

Armin laughs, then slaps a hand over his mouth to stop himself. "I'm sorry- I shouldn't be
laughing."

You wave him off. "Nah, it's fine. Sure, I'll grab medical help."

"Awesome. Follow me."

You follow Armin down the wall, slowly peeling back the cloth you'd wrapped around your
hand to allow yourself to grip things without agitating the burn. Looks like the shirt sleeve
agitated it well enough; some of the cloth has dried to the cut. Yuck- you don't want to tear
that out. Swallowing your bile, you stumble after Armin.

You're greeted by some scout you don't recognize. She holds up the med kit. "Want to sit?"

"If I do, I'll pass out," you say.

"Fine by me. We've got time to kill until Commander Erwin gets here."

Hm. A nap would definitely be a good idea. "Okay," you agree. "But could you check my
hand too? Not just my forehead. I think that's all. My arms might be blistering but they're
okay."

"Hand?" Armin asks, confused.

You hold out your palm with the shirt sleeve hanging around it. "I'd rather you tug this off
when I'm not awake to feel it," you admit sheepishly.

The scout inhales sharply. "What'd you do?"

"Had to wrap it so I could use the hand- there wasn't any time to waste." Your vision is
starting to swim, and you drop to one knee. Armin and the girl in front of you both drop
down next to you. "'m gonna pass out now," you mumble.

Deliriously, you wonder how Levi's doing. Huh.

You're out before you hit the ground.

You wake up to Jean yelling.

Well, to be more precise, you're awake before Jean starts yelling. There's a commotion of
footsteps (you can feel the vibrations of the wall) that wake you up before anything else, and
you know it's the reinforcements that everyone was talking about. But you're rather comfy
here, head resting on what feels like a bundled up cloak, eyes shut, drifting away peacefully.

Passing out from exhaustion is quite nice. Not nearly as many flashbacks or nightmares.

You try to open your eyes, but the light is too bright. Good- that means they made it here
before nightfall. You can still go after Eren.

Then, you hear Jean yell your name.

"Is she okay?" you hear him demand, and something in your heart swells. "Logan!"

"Fine," you croak out, lifting a hand weakly to symbolize that you're somewhat awake. You
hear the sound of footsteps around you and you wince, bringing your hand to your forehead.
You're surprised to feel bandages at first until you remember your injuries. Lovely. "Ow," you
mutter.

"Logan," someone says, relieved, and you crack an eye open to see Jean kneeling next to you.
"You're good?"

You nod slowly, pushing yourself up to a sitting position. You're not sure what compels you
to do it, but you reach an arm out and pull Jean into you for a hug. His arms reach around you
too, squeezing tight briefly before he pulls back.

"Hi," you say hoarsely. "Glad you're not a titan."

"You too," Jean says. "How're your ribs?"

You want to laugh- you'd completely forgotten that they were injured. "Can't even feel 'em,"
you say honestly, glancing around. There's lifts operating several feet away from you,
transporting horses over the wall. A flock of Garrison members and more Survey Corps are
scampering around, preparing for what looks like another assault. "We're going out again?"

"We've got an hour until sundown." He glances down the wall, and you follow his gaze;
Mikasa and Armin are sitting further down. Armin waves to you, and you raise your hand in
response. Mikasa only stares, eyes dark.

You can see it. She regrets not killing Reiner when she had the chance. You do too, for that
matter.

"So what happened?" Jean asks, and he stands with you as you force yourself to your feet.
"Was it really Reiner and Bertolt?"
"Yeah," you say with a sigh. "Wish it wasn't. These are..." you trail off, glancing down at
your hand. It's been freshly wrapped, and you can make a fist with only minor discomfort.
Good. "I tackled Bertolt down and almost got him," you mutter bitterly, regretting that you
couldn't finish the job. "I couldn't kill him. He transformed while I was on top of him and
blew me away."

You hear Jean inhale sharply. "So it was really them."

"Yeah."

Jean looks like he's about to say something when his eyes fix on something behind you. You
follow his gaze: people are starting to line up at the edge of the wall, getting ready to go.
Your eyes subconsciously seek out Erwin- he's standing at the front of the formation, talking
to the soldiers next to him.

"Jean," you say softly, "I miss Marco."

You have no idea where it comes from- shit, maybe you hit your head when you passed out.
But all you can think about right now is how Bertolt and Reiner were close friends but
enemies right under your nose and how you're still conflicted about fighting them. Marco was
a great leader and an even better friend; he'd know what to say right now. You could really
use some good words of encouragement, and Marco would've been great for it.

Jean seems startled for a moment, but his expression sobers up quickly. "Yeah," he murmurs.
"Me too."

You exhale. "Guess we have to do this."

"Guess we do," he agrees.

The two of you stand up and head over to your commander. Erwin's calling in the scouts and
giving orders. People are heading down the wall as soon as they're given instructions, and
you can't help but notice how he's pointedly talking to the people around you and ignoring
you. You fidget anxiously in place; what's he waiting for?

Scouts and Garrison members alike are headed down the wall, organizing horses and setting
up a formation. But you're still here, posed at the top of the wall with the commander and a
few others that you know are too injured to participate. Shit, is that it? Is he really going to
make you stay behind?

"Logan," Erwin says, and you stiffen up.

"Sir."

"You have two options." He glances down at the formation coming together, then sideways at
the injured soldiers that are sitting this one out. "Wait here with the injured, or come and
remain at my side with the promise of following all of my orders."

Your lips part. "Sir?"

"I'm aware that forcing you to stay here would only result in you stealing a horse and figuring
out some sort of way to join us," Erwin says, and you can feel your cheeks heat up. "We
could use your strength in battle. But you're injured."

"Hardly."

His eyes flicker to your bandaged forehead, and you scowl. "You stay by my side," he says
firmly, ignoring your comment, "and you only jump into battle with my say-so. Understood?"

You grit your teeth together. You don't enjoy being placed under orders; you enjoy the free
will of doing what you want and being able to prioritize what you should do first. Being
forced to wait for delegation wastes time, and in the battlefield, every second is valuable.

But it's Erwin. Levi trusts Erwin; he's one of the few people he does trust. You remember
Hange talking about how Levi had behavioral issues for the first year while in the scouts, and
how eventually it turned into him only ever listening to Erwin. You don't know Erwin all that
well, but if Levi trusts him, then that's enough for you.

You force yourself to nod. "Yes, sir."

"So if I tell you to abandon me and run, retreating to the walls, you'll do it."

You don't even hesitate. "No, sir, I won't."

Erwin pauses. You glare him down, unwavering. You'd be lying if you said you could agree
to something like that.

Finally, he looks back down to the formation. "Alright." Your shoulders slip in relief- you
were half worried that your miniscule bit on insubordination would result in Erwin stripping
you of your gear and keeping you here. Thank god. "Levi's rubbing off on you?"

You blink. "Sorry?"

"Both of you seem to have a problem with authority."

You scowl, but you can't even argue. You can't count how many times you've given superior
officers bad attitude because they bothered you. Will you listen? Yes, only if you agree with
what they're saying or if it makes the most sense. God, how many years ago was that fight
with Levi in front of that military police officer and Orlin of the Garrison? You can't even
remember.

"Come on," Erwin says, and you look back up to him. "We don't have a lot of time."

Erwin steps off the wall, dropping to the ground. You hear the familiar whir of his hooks as
he falls, latching into the brick so that he can safely lower himself to the ground. Swallowing
hard, you follow him, letting yourself fall until you can catch yourself and swoop gently to
the ground. You jog after Erwin, finding a horse next to his that you can hop upon.

Several of the Garrison officers shoot you weird looks. "Erwin, you're keeping a newbie in
your inner circle?" one of the officers asks, skepticism laced in his voice.
"Ever fought a titan before?" you snap, whipping your head around to glare at him.

You hear a few soldiers inhale sharply at your tone, but you couldn't care less. You're not
about to take shit from someone with less experience than you. "We were all at the Battle of
Trost," the officer shoots back, eyebrows narrowing at you.

You snort. "Yeah, hiding in vanguard! Did you even-"

"Logan."

At Erwin's tone, you lock your jaw shut and force yourself to glare at the mane of your
horse.

"Now is not to time to make enemies within ourselves," he says calmly, eyes glued to the
horizon line. "We need to recapture Eren before sundown." Erwin turns to glance at the
Garrison officer whom you now despise. "I assure you, Maurice, that she is entirely capable
of taking care of herself."

You shoot a glare at the fucker named Maurice. He doesn't glare at you, but he frowns- like
disapproval. Stupid coward doesn't know shit.

Erwin yells, and the formation starts to charge forwards. You keep your horse next to his like
you promised as you ride over the hills, crossing the green plains with the sun drifting lower
and lower in the distance. For the first time, you're fighting against the clock.

Time. You've always had to take more of it: spend this much time at that stupid farm, spend
this much time training. It was always take more time. When it comes to you and Levi, it
feels like there's never enough time. Like your seconds together tend to fly by, like you can
never spend enough time together. Now, you're pressed for time, trying to find Eren before
the sun goes down.

Levi. You miss him.

It's sort of bizarre being in the center of the formation. You don't see any titans at all; the only
indication that there's titans out there are the signal flares that come in from the left or right
sides. Erwin fires a green flare in a new direction, and green smoke fires up into the air only
seconds afterwards, following the same direction he's fired in.

You're fidgeting in anticipation. You want to fight the titans. Between being a scout and being
in the center, you think you prefer being a scout- and that's even with the disaster that was
your previous expedition.

A forest comes into sight, and you don't miss the way everyone starts to straighten up. You
hadn't been there for the strategy chat, but it looks like people have been anticipating this. Is
this where they're expecting Reiner and Bertolt to be?

There's a blinding light from inside the forest- a titan transformation light. Well, that answers
your question.
"Looks like we made it in time," Erwin says, eyes narrowed. He raises his voice and you
nearly wince as he yells, "all troops, deploy! Find Eren and recover him! We believe that the
enemy has already transformed- remember, we are not here to engage the enemy!"

Not here to engage? No wonder Erwin wanted you next to him, you would've engaged
without a second thought.

Titans start pouring out of the forest, and you swallow hard, tightening your hands on the
reins. Resisting the temptation to leap from your horse and swing is more difficult than you'd
expected, especially when one titan grabs one of the Garrison straight off of his horse.

"Stay on course!" Erwin says sharply. "Getting Eren back is our number one priority!"

You grit your teeth, refusing to respond. Your response would most definitely be something
snappish.

Several scouts break off of the horses and start using their gear to navigate the forest. You
start pushing yourself up onto your horse, preparing for a jump, but Erwin is quick to shoot
you down. "We're going around," he calls.

"We're going around?" you repeat in disbelief. You watch more people jump into the forest,
and your heart twists in your chest: Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Krista. Your friends,
they're going into the forest where someone's transformed and-

"Do you really think they're waiting for us there?" Erwin shouts, and you drag your gaze back
to him. "In the forest, where we have the advantage?"

He's right. The open field is where they have the advantage. "It's a diversion," you realize.

Erwin nods. "We're headed around."

You purse your lips and nod. Some of the Garrison are grabbing the horses that the scouts
have abandoned and are herding them along, bringing them around the side. More titans
emerge from the forest and one of your hands drifts subconsciously to your blade.

It doesn't matter if it's a diversion; you still want to be there.

More and more titans keep coming out of the forest. Some scouts start to engage, but the
numbers are overwhelming them, and people are getting picked off fast, too fast. "Erwin,"
you say, panic seeping into your tone as you watch another Garrison officer get plucked from
his horse, "we should help!"

The commander doesn't respond. His eyes are drilled forwards, locked on the hill line.

"Erwin!" you snap desperately, wanting to follow his orders but also wanting to save lives.

Then, there's another flash of light. You look up and your eyes widen: it's Reiner. More
specifically, he's now the armored titan, running across the hills. You can see another smaller
titan clinging onto his shoulder, and for a second you blank. Another titan shifter? It takes
you a second to remember that Connie said Ymir could transform into a titan, and Ymir was
taken alongside Eren.

Those figures perched on Reiner's shoulder- that would be Eren and Bertolt, then.

Rage boils in your blood, and you're fully intending on racing after them, regardless of what
Erwin says when the commander yells, "all teams! I don't care if you have titans on you,
follow me!"

And then he turns his horse, making a beeline for the armored titan. Determined not to be left
behind, you steer your horse after him, squeezing hard with your calves to get your horse to
speed up. You glance behind you, seeing the stampede of scouts and Garrison alike.

Your face goes slack. The titans are all following.

"Erwin!" you say, turning back to him. "There's too many titans following!"

Still, the commander keeps his eyes forward, dead set on Reiner. You glance behind you; for
the most part, the titans can't keep up with the full speed of the horses. Reiner's not that fast
either- you're gaining on him. Slowly, it dawns on you what Erwin's trying to do: he's luring
the titans to Reiner.

"This is insane," you say in disbelief. "Erwin, you can't be serious!"

"Using us as bait, Erwin?" someone shouts from behind you.

"It's not my intention!" he calls back, glancing over his shoulder. "The armored titan is not
out of range! We can make it- Eren is our priority!"

You glance behind you again. There's too many titans for you to count. It's too many to try
and take on. The only real option is to keep pushing forward, keep running at full speed. If
you keep at this pace, you should be able to cut Reiner off- bringing dozens of rampaging
titans with you.

This is insane.

"Levi never finds out about this!" you call over the wind.

Is it your imagination, or does Erwin chuckle?

Either way, the sound is lost in the wind, and everyone keeps charging forwards. You tighten
your hands on the reins as the armored titan draws closer. Scouts are swarming it, perched on
his head and shoulders- are they trying to get Eren back? Ymir is being suspiciously docile,
letting the soldiers crawl all over Reiner without attacking any of them. Whose side is she
on? She's going with Reiner and Bertolt, but she's not exactly fighting the scouts either.

You can make out yelling- what people are saying, you have no idea- and figures start to
jump away from Reiner, swinging back down to their horses and taking off. You hold in your
sigh of relief: your friends are among those running away. Good.
You lean your horse right, and you follow Erwin as the two of you blow past the armored
titan. The titans that had been lured in lunge at it- not it, him, it's Reiner- and start clinging
onto the armored titan's arms and leg, gnawing at his limbs.

"All units, disperse!" Erwin yells, and you're more than happy to do so. The titans seem to be
focused on the bigger meal. "Get away from the titans!"

All of the horses stampede away, and you're actually kind of surprised that none of the titans
follow. Reiner is twisting and writhing in the sea of titan bodies, trying to keep them off of
him while still keeping his hands clamped around... well, you're assuming Bertolt and Eren,
considering they're the only two unaccounted for.

"Charge!" Erwin howls, and you jerk your head up as the commander starts stampeding
towards the mess of titans. "This moment will decide the fate of humanity! If we lose Eren,
humans will never be able to inhabit these lands ever again!"

"He's insane!" you hear Connie squabble from behind you.

You swing your head around. "You got a better plan?"

"Anything is better than charging into that!"

He's got a point. You're going to be walking into a massacre. But Erwin has already taken off,
and you rush to catch up with him, determined to stay by his side. You promised him, didn't
you?

You pull up onto Erwin's left side- good thing too, because he swings his right arm out with
his blade in hand and points it at the titans. He might've taken your head off with that thing.
You see what he's pointing at: Reiner's let go of Bertolt and Eren in order to defend himself.
Erwin's right- this is your last chance. "Advance!" the commander demands, pointing his
blade at Eren.

You see the titan coming a second too late.

Titans moving on all fours aren't unheard of, but it's your first time seeing one up so close. Its
jaw is hung open and it's crawling towards the advancing soldiers. For a fleeting second, you
think it's going to run right by.

Stupidly optimistic.

The titan latches onto Erwin's extended arm, and some sort of scream tears itself from your
throat. Without hesitation, you jerk your horse around, cursing yourself in your head.

"Advance!" Erwin hollers, pointing his other arm at Eren. How the hell this man is remaining
so focused when he's literally in a titan's jaw, you'll never know. "Eren's right there!
Advance!"

"I got him!" you call back, hoping that it's some sort of assurance.
Stepping up onto your saddle, you jump off the horse and shoot your cables into the back of
the titan's legs. The retraction feels much too slow, like it's taking minutes rather than sweet,
valuable seconds until you can slice the titan's heels, effectively cutting off its movements
and causing it to stumble.

With another quick shot of your hooks, you launch yourself to the back of the titan's head and
slice clean through the nape, dragging your blades as deep as you can. You can feel the
moment the titan dies: it shudders beneath you and falls to the ground with a loud thump.

Erwin.

You hop off of the titan's back and jog around to the mouth, preparing yourself for the worst.
Worst case scenario, Erwin's arm has been chewed off, and you'll have to wrap the injury to
try and staunch the blood flow. If his arm has only been mangled, then, well... you're not sure.
Inhaling sharply, you try to force yourself to focus. Erwin needs you right now.

When you step around to see the titan's jaw, your stomach swoops. Erwin's on the ground and
his arm is gone.

Okay. Arm gone. Now what?

"Erwin!" you yell, running towards him and skidding towards the ground. You're running
through the procedures in your head: you have to make a tourniquet, you need a harness or
belt, you need to stop the blood flow...

That's way too clean of a cut for titan teeth.

Your jaw drops. "You cut off your own arm?!" you demand shrilly, bile building up in your
throat. "What the fuck, Erwin?"

"Go," he says through gritted teeth, sitting himself up. "I'm replaceable. They need you-"

"Fuck off," you snap, panic biting at your nerves. Your fingers feel too twitchy for this. You
seize Erwin's cloak and press it up against his stump of an arm, feeling sick to your stomach.
"Hold," you demand, trying to keep the cloak pressed up with one hand while you begin to
reach for one of your harness straps with the other.

Erwin's hand closes over your and you nearly jump. "Logan," he says, sounding much too
patient for someone who just chopped off his own damn arm. "I'll be fine. Go-"

"No, god damn it, Erwin!" you snap angrily, tears stabbing at your eyes. "I'm not going
anywhere!"

"I'm replaceable," Erwin repeats, trying to stand up. You stumble to your feet with him,
unable to even fathom keeping him down. "They need your skills, Logan. We need to retrieve
Eren-"

You're fed up with this. You whip out one of your blades, not even aware of some of the other
Garrison and Survey Corps members that stopped to make sure Erwin was okay. There's
definitely a bunch of yelling and gasping, but you don't care.
"We need you too," you force out, aiming the tip of your blade at his chest. "I'm not going to
let-"

Erwin grabs your blade, barehanded. At this point, you're half convinced that he's a
psychopath. "Between me or your friends, rushing at the crowd of titans, who is in more need
of your help right now?" he asks calmly.

Damn him. God fucking-

You spin on your heel, jamming your blade back into the scabbard. "Move!" you demand,
shoving someone out of the way- shit, was that a military police uniform? There's fucking
military police here?- and reaching for their unoccupied horse. "If he dies," you threaten,
glaring at the remaining soldiers as you grab onto the reins, "I'll kill each and every one of
you!"

With that said, you squeeze your calves hard. The horse whinnies and takes off.

You refuse to look back. If you do, you know you'll be tempted to stay. But Erwin was right,
as he tends to be: he seems strangely functional for someone who just lost his arm, and your
friends are running into a massacre. You need to grab Eren so that everyone can be allowed to
retreat.

You weave through titans, ignoring the sounds of scream around you. Your head is pounding.
You want to help, you want to save lives, but you know the only way everyone can pull away
is if Eren is rescued. There's too many people you want to save, and you can't be everywhere
at once: this is the one thing you have to focus on, the way to help the most people.

What Levi said to you the other night starts to resonate.

"The minute I'm not around, people die. But I can't be everywhere at once."

You get it. You really do.

You ride by titans that are feasting on scouts, you duck under the arm of a titan that's got one
of the military police in its grip. You keep your eyes forward, blocking everything else from
your brain except for the armored titan that's looming closer and closer.

Perching your feet on your saddle, you wait until the horse is close enough and you jump,
hooking your cables into one of the titans hanging onto Reiner's thigh. You cut through its
neck as you zoom around and up, climbing up Reiner's back. You can see Bertolt on Reiner's
shoulder with Eren bound to his back: there's your target.

You hear the whir of more cables. You glance sideways and you're not surprised to see
Mikasa climbing Reiner's back as well. You wave to catch her attention and she zooms over
to you.

"Armin's up there," she says before you can get a word out. "He's distracting Bertolt."

You nod. "I'll go for Bertolt. You catch Eren." Her eyes narrow, and you add, "trust me."
There's really no time for anything else, so you swoop underneath Reiner's arm, away from
Mikasa. You see Armin talking to Bertolt, a wild look in his eyes, and then Bertolt moves to
stand, drawing his blade. Now.

You shoot yourself up to the sky and whip your blade across Bertolt's chest.

You see his eyes widen in surprise- clearly, he hadn't been expecting you to pop up- and the
sashes that had tied Eren to him sever. You hear a scream from Eren, muffled by the gag, but
Mikasa is already swooping in to catch him. "Go!" you yell at Armin, eyes locked on Bertolt.
You can feel the fury building up in your brain, the regret from not being able to kill him
earlier.

"Logan!" you hear Armin shout as you ready your blade again, glaring down Bertolt. "We
should retreat!"

"Go!" you repeat. "I'm right behind you!"

You swing the blade in your dominant hand out, aiming for Bertolt's neck. When he leans
back as you expected, you swoop in with your other hand, slicing at his ankles. He doesn't
move in time and you manage to cut his leg, but not enough to sever his foot like you'd
intended. Gritting your teeth, you swing again, a furious whirlwind of blades. There's a whir
of cables as Armin swoops away, and you're grateful; at least he'll be safe.

Bertolt slips, falling down Reiner's shoulder. If it wasn't for his hook embedded in the
underside of Reiner's jaw, he would've fallen.

An idea sparks. Can your blade cut through the wire? Send Bertolt falling to face the sea of
titans?

Gears turning, you shoot one of your hooks into Reiner's neck and fly forward, blades up.
"Wait!" Bertolt protests, but he's out of options. There's steam billowing up from his chest
and ankle where you sliced him; if he drops, he's got to maneuver away while avoiding the
titans, which you're betting won't be easy while he's trying to recover.

Got you.

Right before you can slash your blade through the cable, Reiner's head turns, and his jaw
opens.

It happens way too fast for you to make sense of it. You had thought that Reiner was
occupied keeping the titans off of him, but apparently not. Reiner's mouth opens wide and
you don't have the time to redirect yourself; his jaw goes over your head.

Your body moves faster than your mind, and you immediately drop your cable. You're not
sure if the teeth of the armored titan can cut through your cables (probably), but you don't
really want to find out. You're not fast enough to aim anywhere else that could pull you out of
the way, so instead, you shoot one hook into each side of Reiner's mouth. As his mouth closes
over you, you jump and tuck to avoid getting scraped by any of his teeth. Your blade hits his
mouth and snaps off with the impact.
His jaw closes, and the sunlight vanishes, encasing you in damp darkness. You rock shakily
on the bed of Reiner's mouth, trying to catch your balance from your jump. Your hooks are
safely embedded into the sides of the armored titan's mouth- you're going nowhere. Could
Reiner swallow you? Would he want to? What would happen to you if you did? You'd rather
not find out.

It finally sinks in.

The fucker just tried to eat you.

"Reiner!" you scream, your bizarre cage shaking as Reiner fights titans with you in
his goddamn mouth. "Reiner, you son of a bitch! You're trying to eat me now? Betraying and
lying wasn't enough?"

No response, obviously. Only the frantic shaking and creaking of the armored titan as you try
to keep yourself upright, balanced on- fuck, does he even have a tongue?

Curious, you hold up your blunted blade and stab it upwards into the top of Reiner's mouth.
Besides the usual shaking and rumbling, there's no response. If what you know of Eren holds
true for Reiner as well, then he can't really feel pain, so you can't do any damage from in
here.

Could you try and get at his neck from here? You thrust your blade towards where you think
his neck would be, but you don't reach anything. It's a dangerous play: you can't see worth
shit, and you've got no idea if you'd even be able to cut through. Even if you did, you'd fall
into the depths of Reiner's stomach, and that's not something you ever want to experience.

Risking your life to save humanity- that's the deal, isn't it?

You purse your lips and discard the idea from your head. You're not sure if it would work,
and even so, you promised Levi you'd come back alive. No risky plans. Yeah, because being
stuck in the damn mouth of a titan isn't a risky plan in itself.

"Fuck you," you tell the roof of Reiner's mouth. "You scheming, stupid, stupid..."

You trail off. How the hell are you supposed to get out of here?

Carefully, you pivot in place, rapidly retracting and shooting your hooks out and in again to
allow yourself to shuffle in place, spinning yourself around until you can face where you
believe the opening to Reiner's mouth is. Everything is still shaking dangerously and you
sway back and forth as Reiner lumbers around, fighting titans.

"Let me out," you demand, knowing that he can probably hear you. "Let me out of here, you
asshole!"

"Logan!"

Bertolt.
You still, listening to see if he'll follow up. "Bertolt?" you ask eventually, and you hear the
telltale mechanical hum of maneuver gear as Bertolt moves closer. "Let me out."

"Logan," Bertolt repeats, and he almost sounds... defeated. "They're all getting slaughtered
out there. The titans are everywhere."

Your heart drops in your chest. "You're lying," you say immediately.

"I'm not," he says, and there's a fear in his voice that almost makes you believe him- almost.
"You're safer in here-"

You punch the blunt blade into the back of Reiner's teeth. It does nothing, of course, but the
screeching sound of metal against armor shuts Bertolt up. "Is that what you think you're
doing?" you demand. Reiner's jaw opens slightly and you get a flash of light, but you can't
make out anything before he shuts his mouth again. "You think you're keeping
me safe, Bertolt?! After you transformed right underneath me and nearly killed me?"

"We-" Bertolt's voice is shrill, panicked- "we don't want to be killers!"

"Then you shouldn't have broke down a fucking wall!" you yell. Reiner's jaw opens and
closes again, and you get a brief glimpse of Bertolt's panicked face before his mouth locks
shut again. Too slow- maybe if Reiner's jaw was open longer, you could try and make a run
for it. "You're a mass murderer!" you howl. "You're responsible for- for Mina, for Thomas,
for Ruth and Hannah and Franz and Marco!"

"We never wanted them to die!"

"Then why?!"

The stampeding footsteps are growing louder. What the hell is going on out there?

"Let me out," you demand. "If you don't want people to die, then let me out! I can save
them!"

"We never wanted this! Logan, you have to believe me-"

"Fuck you!" you snap, tears sparking in the corners of your eyes. The words are venomous
and sting your mouth with sweet satisfaction as they tear themselves from your throat. "Fuck
you, fuck your lies, fuck the shit you put us through! Is this a joke to you? Killing everyone
was a joke? I trusted you!"

Bertolt's voice sounds strangled. "Logan-"

Your head feels heavy. "I trusted you!" you repeat. "You, Reiner- I would've trusted you with
my life!"

Your voice breaks on the last word, but there's a bit of a weight lifted from your shoulders. It
feels good to get that off your chest, as heartbreaking as it is.
"Reiner, what's going on?" you hear Bertolt say, his voice a bit more faraway. Reiner's
stopped moving so much; you have no problem holding your footing. A plan starts to form in
your head: if Reiner isn't shaking anymore, then you've got a shot to detach your hooks, so if
he opens his mouth...

Alright. You just need an opportunity.

You ready yourself, balancing on the balls of your feet. Your entire body feels coiled up, like
a spring, ready to bounce up the second you see a shred of daylight.

"What's going on?" you call carefully.

The footsteps have faded away, which is bizarre. Did Reiner kill all of the titans around him?
Why is it so quiet?

"Bertolt? What's happening?" You can hear him out there, hear his boots on the armor. "You
going to let me out or kill me?" you challenge.

There's a sudden jolt, and you nearly slip. It feels like Reiner has started to run. Immediately,
panic spikes inside you. Where is Reiner running to? Are they going to take you somewhere
and kill you? What's going on?

Then, you hear it. Some sort of guttural scream that sends chills up your spine. It sounds far
away, but there's some sort of change in the atmosphere. Everything feels more... tense.

A stampede of heavy footsteps hits your ears. It's getting louder too, much too fast, and you
hear Bertolt scream from outside your cage. "Bertolt!" you holler, pounding a fist against
Reiner's mouth. "What-"

His jaw opens.

You don't waste a second: you drop your hooks and vault, diving out of Reiner's mouth. It's a
good thing you moved when you did, because his jaw nearly closes on your foot. Looks like
he'd opened his mouth reflexively, not with the intent to let you escape- it's a good thing you
got out.

Before you can freefall through the air, you plant your hooks into the underside of Reiner's
jaw and swing so that your feet are balanced on the chest plate of his armor. "I'm going to kill
you," you vow, changing out your blunted blade for a full one. "You fucking-"

A titan arm swings at you.

You yell out in surprise, swinging out of the way and climbing up Reiner until you're up by
his shoulder. Where'd that titan come from? You try to look for Bertolt, but Reiner's got one
hand clamped against the side of his neck- Bertolt's probably in there. Is he protecting Bertolt
from you?

You finally get a look around, and you realize what he's really protecting Bertolt from.

Titans. Everywhere.
It's like Reiner is a titan magnet. Every titan within the vicinity is coming towards him,
grabbing at his arms and legs and even reaching up for his face. You swing yourself higher,
perching up on the top of Reiner's head, locking yourself into place. What the hell happened?
Why are all the titans going for him?

You glance around. Relief strikes you when you realize that you can see horses in the
distance, lots of them, all with people on board. Good- so people are still alive. But they're all
riding off into the distance, probably heading back towards the wall.

Fuck. You're going to be left behind.

Some titan that's as big as Reiner is- an abnormal, from the looks of it- leans forward to sink
its teeth into the side of Reiner's head. Reiner swings his arm, the only arm he has free, and
backhands the titan away. You yelp, sinking your fingers into the hair on the top of his head
in order to hold on as Reiner lumbers around, desperately trying to shake off the titans while
keeping Bertolt protected.

You can't help but feel a bit bad, but you banish the pity immediately. These are the bad guys;
you should strike while you have the chance. But you don't even know how. You can't reach
Bertolt with Reiner protecting him, and even if you tried to get at him, you'd be mobbed by
titans.

"Fuck," you say aloud, wincing as Reiner swings to the side, nearly catapulting you off of his
head. "Fuck!"

What the hell do you do?

You can't even think properly. The titans don't seem fixated on you, at least, but there's no
way you can get away without bumping into some. You don't want to push your luck and try
to pretend you can get away, especially without a horse. You could get to the ground, sure,
but where the hell would you go from there? You're titan food on the ground.

Fuck. You should've retreated when you had the chance. You were too swept up in your
anger: anger at Bertolt, anger at Reiner, then anger at yourself for not getting the job done at
the wall.

Okay, think, dumbass. What do I-

A titan launches itself up onto Reiner's shoulder and you subconsciously lean the other way,
one hand drifting to your hip for your sword. Your eyes widen: it's not attacking Reiner, it's
attacking the other titans. It's small, with beady eyes, long hair, and a hooked nose. It's got
pointed teeth that it's sinking into any titan that gets too close- hell, it even kicks one away.

A titan defending Reiner and Bertolt. It's confusing until it clicks in your head- this is the
titan that you saw perched on Reiner's shoulder when he was running out of the forest.

"Ymir?" you say in disbelief.

Her beady eyes lock on you, and in a gravelly voice, she croaks out, "get on."
 You don't even have to think about it. You swing onto Ymir's back, burying your hands into
her hair to hold on tight. Ymir leaps and you swallow your scream as she soars through the
air, landing hard enough to knock the wind out of you.

Gasping, you wrap locks of the titan hair around your hands, desperately trying to hold on as
Ymir bounds towards the departing horses. Well, mostly departing- there's one horse frozen
in place, rider sitting up straight on its back.

It's not until you get closer that you realize the rider is Erwin. His stump of an arm has been
wrapped in an old cloak; there's a brown belt tied up above the stump, closer to his shoulder.
How he's still sitting up straight, you'll never know.

Ymir skids to a stop, and you let go of her hair. The momentum of her stop sends you flying
off of the titan, rolling over several times as you cross the ground until you can force yourself
up to your feet.

"Erwin," you say, glancing from him back to Ymir. "What..."

She's already gone. She's running back to help Reiner.

"What?" you can't help but mutter.

"Get on," Erwin says.

You force yourself to jog towards his horse, then pull yourself up and over. As soon as you're
off the ground, Erwin tugs on the reins, and the horse jerks forward. You wrap your arms
around Erwin's waist to hold on as the horse picks up speed.

"You came back for me?" you ask, sort of confused but still immensely grateful.

Erwin tips his head back to look at you, then looks forward again. You can vaguely make out
some horses in the distance. "A friend once told me," he says, eyes glued on the horizon line,
"that you said something about everyone deserving to have someone come back for them."

You blink. Mike.

You turn your head, glancing at the chaos behind you. You still wish you could've killed them
when you had the chance.

Swallowing hard, you turn forwards again, leaving Reiner, Bertolt, and Ymir to the mercy of
the titans behind you.

Chapter End Notes

an action packed last episode of season 2!! I'm so excited to get into season 3 because
I've got some good parts for Logan to play and I'm so excited to see how people like
them.

side note: ...what the heck do they have in the way of contraceptives in the aot world??
because we got some good smut coming up lmao

thank you guys so so so much for 1800 kudos!! I love you guys- your comments make
me so happy and I look forward to posting these every Friday. I love you all more than
I'll ever be able to describe. stay safe and healthy!! <3
 3-1
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Everything that happens when you get back to the wall is a blur.

Erwin passes out, nearly tumbling off the horse instead of dismounting properly. You carry
him as best you can towards the wall, his one good arm draped over your shoulders, but
several military police and Garrison move forward to help you out.

"Don't let him die," you plead, surprised at the hysteria in your voice. "Please. Please don't let
him die."

You're flocked to by the rest of the 104th- by some miracle, everyone from your old squad
made it- and Eren gives you one of the tightest hugs you've ever gotten. It hurts (your ribs are
still bothering you) but it's completely worth it.

You get a lot of questions ("Did Reiner actually eat you? What happened?") and you try to
answer all of them, but the exhaustion is catching up with you and the fatality rate from just
that expedition alone is startling. Sixty percent of the soldiers that rode out to rescue Eren
died: Garrison, Survey Corps, and MPs alike. You hope it was worth it.

You're half awake as Krista is becoming hysterical, shrieking about needing to go back and
get Ymir. You haven't even given Ymir a lot of thought; you're worried your head will
explode. Her motives are still completely foreign to you.

By the time everyone's loaded into carts and is heading back to Wall Sheena, you're ready to
take another nap. Thinking back on it, being stuck in Reiner's mouth had been one of the
scariest experiences of your lifetime. Fighting titans honestly would've been easier. In
Reiner's jaw, you had no control, no way of escaping while the fighting was going on outside.
You wonder if you could've been able to save anyone if you hadn't been trapped the way you
had. If you'd retreated like you were supposed to.

Erwin is taken to a hospital. The rest of you are sent back to HQ.

Levi.

While everyone is trudging back to their barracks, you head straight to where you know he'll
be waiting. It's like you've been hit with another wave of energy, another shot of adrenaline,
enough to keep you going until you're tucked safely into the arms of the one person that you
care for more than anything else.

You don't even knock. You see the lantern light from under the door, and you shove the door
open.
Levi's sitting at his desk, a cup of tea balanced in the tips of his fingers. His eyes are trained
downwards on the small plate that his tea cup would sit on, and he doesn't look up
immediately when you burst in. He looks tensed, like he's ready to hit the first person that
lays a hand on him.

"What?" he snaps before he glances up, and the annoyance drains from his face.

"Hi," you say, and then you have to resist the urge to smack yourself in the face. Hi?! That's
the best you could come up with? "I, uh, I'm okay," you stammer, trying to think of what you
need to say first- what he needs to hear first. "Hange's okay too- a bit banged up but nothing
permanent. Reiner and Bertolt transformed and tried to steal Eren- turns out Ymir is a titan
too? And she went with them. But- but we got Eren back, and a lot of people died, and..."

You're nearly out of breath. The blank look on Levi's face has long since faded, and you think
you can make out relief in his expression.

Levi stands up from his chair, carefully setting his tea cup down. His eyes are locked on you
as he pads forward, reaching for you. His hands gingerly settle on either side of your face,
like he's holding you to make sure you're actually here and not some sort of apparition.

His thumb brushes over the bandage on your forehead. "I tried to kill Bertolt," you explain
softly, leaning into Levi's touch. "He transformed. I got burnt. It's... it's not that bad."

God... a scarred, messed up eye and now a burn across your forehead?

You're surprised to hear yourself laugh. "One more scar on my face, and you're not going to
able to look at me anymore," you joke weakly.

Levi pulls your head towards him, and you feel him press his lips to the bandages across your
forehead. "Shut up," you hear him grumble.

You squeeze your eyes shut. "Okay."

He pulls back, and you reopen your eyes. Levi's got lines under his eyes- looks like he hasn't
slept. You can feel the callouses on his fingers as he slowly trails his hand down your
jaw. God, you're going to melt into the floor.

"What aren't you telling me?" Levi asks quietly.

You hate how good this man is at reading you. Slowly, you exhale, trying to figure out how
best to word it. "Erwin," you say softly. Levi immediately goes rigid, his face turning to
stone, and you're quick to backtrack. "He's alive," you assure him quickly. "He's alive. He
just..."

Levi waits. His fingertips are tense on your cheek.

"He lost his arm," you finally say, and you cast your eyes down to the floor so that you don't
have to make eye contact. "I'm sorry, I should've- I didn't see the titan fast enough, and by the
time I got there, Erwin had- he cut off his own arm. I'm sorry, I tried-"
Levi's thumb presses against your lip and you immediately quiet. "Enough," Levi says firmly.
"You're tired and overwhelmed. You need to sleep."

You nod along. "Right. You- you're right."

He nods, and his hands drop from your face. You stand in the middle of Levi's room stupidly
as he brushes by you, reaching into his dresser and pulling out a jacket.

"You're- you're going out?" you ask.

"I need to see Erwin."

That makes sense. Erwin's one of the only people that you'd consider as being close to Levi,
and you just told him that he lost his arm. It's only natural. You want to smack yourself; it
was selfish of you to assume you could stay with him tonight. Alright. Well- you can last a
night on your own. Maybe another time.

"Hey."

You look up again. Levi has moved to stand back in front of you.

"You can stay here," he says, his voice careful. "I'll be back. Go to sleep."

You can stay- that's a huge relief. There's something about Levi's scent and his bed that
makes sleeping so much easier. "Okay," you agree. You press the heels of your hands into
your eyes, exhaling. This is fine. "Okay, I'll be here when you get back."

"Good," Levi says.

"Good," you agree. Before Levi can walk around you, you reach forward and wrap your arms
around his shoulders, burying your nose into his neck. He's warm, and he smells like
something vaguely lemon-ish. It's so comforting that it nearly brings you to tears.

Levi's arms wrap around your waist and squeeze tight, and yeah, maybe your eyes get kind of
misty. While you hadn't been expecting a welcome party, you'd still been hoping for maybe
more than just a soft touch and a run away.

You hear Levi inhale slowly, hands splayed across your back. You hold on tight, wanting to
hold on for as long as he'll physically let you.

Neither of you move for a while. It's nice, having this moment of calm, especially after being
in a constant state of mild panic for the past few hours.

"Are you okay?" Levi murmurs into your shoulder.

You don't even know.

"I will be," you whisper in return, squeezing him. "I just- you're right, I just need some
sleep."
He pulls back. He's looking at you like he doesn't quite believe you, but he's not going to
push you either. Levi nods in wordless understanding, and he lets go of you, fingers lingering
on your hip before his hand falls away.

The two of you stare at each other for a moment.

Then, Levi steps around you. You hear the door open, then a quiet, "see you soon," before the
door closes again and his footsteps fade away.

"See you soon," you whisper to an empty room.

You collapse into Levi's bed, barely functioning enough to strip off your boots and socks and
get rid of your cloak. You bury yourself in the sheets, trying to immerse yourself in his scent,
in the warm feeling that you've always felt with Levi.

You can't fall asleep. No matter what you do, no matter what position you take, you can't get
yourself to fall asleep. You can't even pinpoint the reason why.

Levi comes back hours later. You freeze up, trying to slow down your breathing and pretend
you're asleep. You listen to him shed his coat and undress himself, heart pounding loudly in
your chest. Levi seems to be moving slowly, like he's taking his time- you wonder if he's
even tired at all, despite it being the middle of the night.

You hold your breath as Levi lifts the sheet, then sits down next to you. You've got your back
to him, so you can keep your eyes open and he won't know.

Slowly, achingly slowly, Levi stretches himself out next to you, extending his legs and laying
himself down. It's painfully difficult not to tense up and to try and keep yourself still. You can
feel Levi twist, and you can tell that he's facing you because of his breath on the back of your
neck. Shit, you're getting goosebumps.

"Hey," you hear Levi murmur.

You stay dead still, trying to calm the chills that are racing up and down your spine.

"Erwin's asleep," he continues softly. Does he know you're awake? Or is he just venting?
"Saw Hange there too. The MPs are in chaos right now, but there's not going to be any
expeditions for a while, so..."

He trails off. You pinch your lips together.

"Tell me about it tomorrow," Levi says. "I know you wanted me to stay. I should've. I..."

You want to tell him not to apologize, that he's got nothing to be sorry for. He wanted to see
Erwin. You know that if it was one of your friends and you were in Levi's place, you'd
definitely want to do the same.

Levi's breath goes hotter, and you nearly melt when you feel him lightly kiss the top of your
spine. "Thank you for coming back," you hear him whisper.
Your heart feels like it's in your throat. You want to spin around, want to kiss him and
promise him that he's fine, you understand- but Levi's lips press against your neck again and
one of his arms moves over your stomach. He sighs softly, hot air making the hairs on the
back of your neck stand up.

You'll tell him tomorrow.

No, fuck that.

You twist, and you feel Levi immediately stiffen up, withdrawing his arms. As soon as you've
rolled around to face him, you reach out with one hand to cup his face and lean in, kissing
him on the forehead.

"Nothing to apologize for," you whisper hoarsely, your throat dry. "Thank you for coming
back."

"I should've stayed in the first place," Levi objects softly, reaching out to settle one hand on
your hip. "I-"

"Enough," you interrupt. "I'm just happy you're here."

You see Levi's Adam's apple bob as he swallows, nodding. There's a heartbeat of hesitation;
then, the two of you start to move together, closing in. You snuggle yourself into Levi's chest
and his arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into him. You bury your arms around
his waist, exhaling into his shirt.

A thought strikes you and you murmur, "I'm gonna look bad with the scar."

You hear Levi snort. "Yeah, right."

"You haven't seen it. It's ugly." Well, to be entirely honest, you've got no idea- you haven't
gotten to see it yourself.

"No chance."

You smile into Levi's shirt. "You sure?"

"Shut up," he grumbles, and you feel Levi's lips press into the top of your head. "You couldn't
look bad if you tried."

Aw.

You fall asleep tucked in Levi's arms with a smile on your face and you're gifted with a
dreamless sleep.

Three days later, Erwin still hasn't woken up.

The doctors say it's fine: his breathing is stable, he's alive and going to be fine, he just lost a
lot of blood and it's going to keep him out for a bit. Their reassurances do little to settle Levi;
you know that he's gone through this before, when you were in a coma. You're not sure what
the doctors told him about you at the time, but it doesn't matter. Levi's stressed about Erwin,
and there's nothing you can do short of dragging Erwin out of his sleep yourself to help his
concerns.

Levi busies himself by talking business with Hange and Commander Pixis of the Garrison,
whom you vaguely remember from the Battle of Trost. Granted, Levi doesn't talk business,
but he listens. From what you can guess, it distracts him.

You try to stay out of it. The strategy isn't exactly your thing; you'll stick to training.

Which is exactly what you're doing. Boxing with one of the large sandbags strung up from
the rafters isn't your go-to, but it's a good way to stay on your feet and keep your body busy.
The sandbag doesn't hit back, at least, but hitting it hurts, and you welcome the strength
training.

You're so caught up in it, in fact, that you don't hear Levi come in. You only hear him when
the barn door closes, announcing his presence. "Hey," you call without looking at the door,
wiping the sweat from your burned forehead- the scar is sort of nasty, but you're getting used
to it- with the back of your hand. "Finally had enough of politics?"

"As much as I can handle," he replies, and you punch the sandbag one last time before you
turn to him. "Got a minute?"

"Yeah, I think the bag needs a break," you say, forcing a grin. You step back and start
unwinding the cloth from your knuckles. "What's up?"

"Hange wants to talk to you."

You pause. "What about?"

Levi doesn't reply. You take it as an 'I don't know' and decide not to ask. You drop the cloth
you were using on top of one of the crates- you'll probably come back here later. Levi hands
you your coat and you pull it on as you follow him out of the barn, falling into step next to
him.

As the two of you head through the hallways, you can't help but wonder if people suspect you
two are together. You spend more nights in Levi's room than in your own barracks nowadays,
and you're seen together more often than you're seen solo. Plus, Ymir's comment from back
at the settlement in Wall Rose ("try fucking the corporal first!") tells you that there's
definitely some sort of clue people are picking up on.

You hope not. You're not ashamed of Levi or anything like that- you just enjoy sharing what
you two have between the two of you. That's all.

Levi guides you towards a meeting room and he opens the door for you, letting you wander
inside. There's a round table in the center of the room with four chairs around it. Two are
occupied with Hange and Moblit, and the other two are pulled out for you and Levi. There's a
few folders spread out across the table with several slips of paper hanging out.

"I'm not someone you want for strategy," you say.

Hange looks up at you and grins. "Logan! C'mon in. Worry not, this isn't strategy."

You glance warily at Moblit, who shoots you a weak smile. "What's this about, then?" you
ask, taking one of the empty seats. Levi sits in the other, crossing his arms and glaring
daggers at the files on the table.

"Remember how I said I was looking into your family?"

You straighten up immediately, suddenly very interested in the conversation. "You found
something?" you ask, glancing from Hange to Moblit and then back to Hange. "What'd you
find?"

"Well, your pops wasn't joking about the amnesia-running-in-the-family bit," Hange says,
pulling out one of the paper sheets and turning it around to you. "Andres and Perry Castello.
Both recorded incidents. Andres actually lost his twice: first was accident related, second was
out of the blue. Perry's was out of the blue too- he's actually Andres's father. These were ages
ago, but my guess is the family stopped reporting these once they figured out it was a
hereditary thing."

Your throat feels dry. You slide the paper towards yourself and pick it up, not really reading
it. "So it is hereditary?" you murmur, your voice quiet.

"I'm not sure. See, that doesn't quite make sense to me." Hange clears their throat. "Moblit
and I have been going through old hospital records, trying to see if there's any case of
diseases or illnesses or anything where it follows in family lines. Our data only dates back so
long, but..."

They trail off.

"But?" you ask softly.

"There's nothing," Moblit answers for them, glancing sideways at his superior before looking
back to you. "We don't have enough data going back far enough to tell. So either this-"

"Either this is the brink of a huge scientific discovery," Hange says, a hint of excitement
creeping into their voice, "or there's some sort of external factor."

You risk a glance at Levi. His face is stone cold.

"Okay," you say evenly. "Let's hope it's the latter."

"That sounds good," Moblit agrees, and you look back to him. "We've been asking around,
trying to see if anyone knows anything. Trying to track down some of those missing girls and
who they were before they got taken."
You swallow hard. "Anything I can do?"

"Do you know anything else? About the girls that they killed?"

"No, I don't," you say with a shake of your head. "Just that they were all people he thought
could be his missing daughter- so, absentee fathers, underground girls."

"There won't be any record of them missing." The three of you look up to Levi, who's
speaking for the first time since you came in here. "No one gives a shit about what happens to
the people in the underground," he says, eyes locked on Hange. "You'd have a tough time
digging up anything there. Especially if it was all several years ago."

Hange hums. "Alright, so that may be a dead end. I've got some leads though, on people who
have heard of the Castellos, so hopefully I've got something for you soon."

You lean back in your chair, shoulders pressing against the wood. "Thanks, Hange. I
appreciate it."

"Of course! I got you, girl."

Smiling in appreciation, you glance at Levi. His expression is still unreadable. You frown to
yourself, trying to meet his eyes, but he's glaring at the wall. This is more than just his usual
stoic demeanor; he's upset.

Alright. Maybe you can pry him out of it. "Thanks, Hange," you say gratefully, standing up
from your chair. "And Moblit too. Really, it means a lot to me."

"Happy to help," Moblit says pleasantly.

You smile politely and glance at Levi. "You coming?"

He jerks his head up. "Yeah."

"Bye, you two!" Hange calls as the two of you head out of the small meeting room, closing
the door shut behind you. Levi waits, seeing where you're headed, so you start to walk in the
direction of his room. He falls into step with you.

You wait, hallway silent with the exception of footsteps on floor. "Your room?" you say
eventually, and he nods. Alright, there's step one. "You okay?" you ask hesitantly.

Levi's eyes are still trained forwards. "Fine."

You pinch your lips together. If he doesn't want to talk about it, well, you can't force him to
talk about it. "Okay," you say softly.

The two of you turn a corner. Levi's eyes flash towards you. "Why would you think I'm not?"

"You seem tense." You shrug, turning another corner towards the small flight of stairs. "You
seemed okay before the little meeting with Hange so I was wondering if it was something
that we talked about."
Levi is silent as you walk up the stairs. He doesn't speak until you're at the door to his room.
"Forget it."

"So there is something," you say, stepping into Levi's room as he opens the door. He doesn't
answer you, shutting the door behind him, and you decide to push a bit. "Levi, if there's
something bothering you-"

"It's nothing," Levi says, his voice low under his breath. "Drop it."

You pause, feeling somewhat hurt. There's obviously something on Levi's mind, but it's clear
he doesn't want to talk about it. "Alright," you amend softly.

He looks up at you. "Alright?"

"You'll talk about it when you want to," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "Until
then, all I can do is tell you that you can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?"

Levi stares at you, and you can actually pinpoint the moment that his expression softens.
"You mean that?" he asks.

"Why wouldn't I?" you reply. You take a step towards him, closing the distance, and you
reach for Levi's hand. You grab onto two of his fingers and squeeze. "It's kind of the job, you
know," you joke. "Well- yeah. Being your- your partner and all."

Partner. Was that weird? The two of you haven't talked labels or anything like that; you've
been enjoying what you two have when you have the time to. You've always wondered what
Levi would refer to you as, but now you're worried that you shouldn't have brought the topic
up.

Obviously, Levi caught your slip up. He raises his eyebrows. "Partner," he says.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize." Levi squeezes your hand in return, and then he leans towards you. You
lean in and kiss him happily, letting your free hand roam up into his hair as he presses against
your lips. Levi's tongue flits out to meet yours and you oblige, opening your mouth to him.
His other hand wraps around your hip and holds on tight.

Levi kisses you languidly, lips thin but soft, tongue dangerously good at making your body
feel tingly. His nose bumps yours as he changes the angle, giving you more access into his
mouth, which you take. Your fingers tangle into his undercut, twisting the soft locks of hair
between your fingers.

He breaks away but holds you close. "You're more than that," Levi whispers, his voice right
next to your ear. "So much more than that."

God, his voice makes you want to melt.

You lean in this time, letting go of Levi's hand so that you can cup his jaw as you kiss him.
Levi's other hand slides up your back, fingers splayed out and pushing into your jacket.
"You can talk to me," you say against his lips, not wanting to let the conversation topic drop.

Levi hums. "I know. Not now. Just..."

He lets go of you and undoes the top button of his coat.

"We don't need to talk," he murmurs, and you can see the lustful look in his eyes. "Not right
now."

You grin. "Bribing me?"

His expression doesn't change. "Maybe."

Smiling, you lean in and kiss him again. "How do I say no to that?"

You pull back and wiggle out of your jacket. Levi pulls off his own coat, leaning it over the
edge of his bed, and you've barely got yours into the same place when he's pulling you back
towards him, kissing you again. His lips are fiery hot, burning your mouth, and you relish the
feeling; kissing Levi puts you on a cloud like nothing else can.

Levi breaks away just so he can sit down on his bed and strip off his boots. "Well?" he asks
when he sees you're frozen in place.

Scowling, you reach down and start yanking at your shoes. "I was getting there," you
grumble, throwing your boots and socks out of the way.

"Sure you were." Levi scoots back on his bed until his back is pressed up against the
headboard, and he pats his thigh. "C'mere."

Grinning to yourself, you climb up onto Levi's bed, crawling forwards until you're balanced
on your knees, straddling Levi's lap. His face is level with your breasts- god, what you'd do
for him to kiss them like he had last week.

Levi's hands settle on your hips, but you've had enough of his gentlemanliness (or whatever it
is) and you grab his hands, tugging them down to your ass.

His lips twitch into a smirk, and he squeezes. "You like that?" Levi muses.

You scoff. "Me? You like it, you're just too polite."

"I'm done being polite," he warns, and you grin as he tilts his head up.

Levi kisses you again, and you hold onto his face, fingertips dusting over his cheekbones as
you kiss him hard. Levi's cockiness is riling you up, and you can't help but roll your hips
forward. You feel Levi grunt against your lips, so you do it again, smiling.

When he'd fingered you last week, it'd been the best thing you'd ever felt. Well, it's only fair
if Levi gets the same sort of satisfaction, right?

You smile against his mouth. Time to start taking the lead.
Your hands tangle into the collar of his shirt, and you roll your hips again, rubbing your
crotch against his. Levi reacts again, this time by biting your lip. You keep doing it,
performing the same motion over and over again, grinding against Levi and feeling him
growing harder beneath you.

At one point, Levi lets go of your ass to brace his hands in the sheets. Oh, you're definitely
getting him riled up. Perfect. Just one more nudge.

As you kiss Levi hard, tongue against tongue, you reach one hand down and palm him
through his pants. The reaction is instantaneous: Levi does something that sounds like a
strangled whine, like something torn deep from his lungs.

You pull back, grinning softly. "Oh?"

"L," Levi says, his voice low. "You don't have to."

"I want to," you breathe.

Levi's breath seems to hitch in his throat. He's ridiculously tense underneath you, coiled like a
spring, and his eyes have a fervor behind them. It looks like he's struggling to contain
himself, fingers curling into the sheets beneath him, jaw locked.

"You did it for me," you muse softly, rolling your hips against him gently. You think you see
Levi's cheeks dust light pink. "I want to do it for you."

"You..." Levi trails off, eyes glued to you like it's physically impossible for him to look away.

Carefully, you shift backwards. Levi squirms, like you being on all fours is doing something
to him, and you settle your hand on his belt buckle. You don't move your palm, fingers
skimming the buckle, waiting. "I want to make you feel good," you say, vocalizing your
resolve.

You do. You want to see Levi in the same state you were at: messy, enthralled, desperate.

"You want this?" Levi asks slowly, his voice quiet.

You nod. "Yeah."

His throat bobs. You wait, because you're not about to do anything without his permission.
You can see it in Levi's eyes: he definitely wants you to. If he's willing to swallow his pride,
even just a bit, this is going to go so much better for both of you. You bite your lip, smirking,
waiting for him to say his acceptance out loud.

Levi's eyes flicker down, then back up. You think you can hear his heartbeat from here.
"Yeah," he breathes. "Yeah, I want you to."

Perfect.

You keep your eyes locked on his as you start to pull at his buckle. You look into silver, and
silver stares daggers back into you. Carefully, you slide his belt off, feeling the leather slowly
pull away from his hips. You're going into uncharted territory; the idea simultaneously entices
you and terrifies you.

You've given yourself to Levi. You did it a while ago, long before he ever touched you, but
feeling his fingers inside you, stroking you to your breaking point while he brutalized your
neck, had solidified it. You were his, and you were about to make him yours.

This is it. You're going to drive this man to the brink of insanity, where you'd been.

Determined, you push open the top button of his trousers, and Levi inhales sharply through
his nose. In all the time that you've known him, you've never seen him as nervous as he is
right now. Smiling to yourself, you crawl over top of him again, straddling his lap.

Leaning forward, you kiss him softly. Levi hums into your mouth, and you feel his tongue
swipe across your lower lip. You press yourself down, feeling his erection grind against your
clit.

Levi hisses. "Fuck," he mumbles into your mouth.

Fuck indeed. You can feel your core pulsing, arousal seeping into your underwear, and
feeling Levi fucking throb beneath you isn't helping.

His hands skim your hips, and you feel his hands slide underneath your shirt. You don't mind;
you raise your arms and Levi pulls your shirt over your head. You're determined to return the
favor to Levi, and if he wants your shirt off, you're certainly not going to complain.

Levi's eyes immediately drop to your chest, and you see his teeth clench. His hands rise over
your ribs.

You plant your hands on his, stopping him. "This is for you," you remind him softly. "I'm not
the priority here."

His eyebrows furrow together. "L-"

"No buts," you insist, and you press a finger to his lips. Levi seems surprised by the action,
but he only raises his eyebrows. "You've done enough for me," you murmur, and your palm
squeezes his hip. "For once, Levi, let yourself be the important one. So shut up and let me
suck your cock."

Levi's face goes bright red. You nearly laugh.

To make things even better, you can feel his cock twitch beneath you at his words.
Triumphant, you let your hands fall to the bottom of his t-shirt and you work it over his head.
When his shirt is pulled off, Levi is still looking at you like he's entranced, possessed. You
don't mind; you lean in and press your lips to the side of his neck.

You feel his pulse jump beneath your mouth, and holy shit, is he gasping? His breaths next to
your ear are choppy, strained- shit, you're doing this to him. He's falling apart beneath you
and you haven't even done anything yet.
You pull back again, locking eyes with Levi. His eyes are blown so wide that you think you
can see flecks of gold in his irises. Gold and silver- so fitting of him.

Every day, you find yourself more and more attracted to Levi. You don't even know how, but
somehow, it happens.

"You're gorgeous," you say without thinking.

Levi's hand squeezes your hip hard, and his lips part, but no words come out. Like he can't
figure out what to say. With Levi driven to a loss for words, you lean in and capture his lips
with yours. His tongue immediately pushes at you, asking for entrance, and you don't have to
think twice. Hell, you don't have to think at all: your lips part without any second thoughts,
and your tongue pushes against his, muscle to muscle, warmth to warmth.

Kissing Levi is addicting- you know you've thought it before, but it's a brutal reminder every
time that you immerse yourself with his mouth, tasting his lips. A titan could storm the
building and you wouldn't even care.

But this is about Levi, not you. Levi.

It takes some effort, but you force yourself to pull away, and you press your lips against his
neck again to keep yourself satiated. Slowly, you shift backwards, letting your lips trail across
his sternum as you go. Levi's chest rises and falls rapidly as you move downwards, scaling
across his abdomen, muscles clenched tight under your lips.

Finally, you lift yourself up. Levi's erection is straining painfully against his trousers, and the
zipper has undone itself at this point. Your cunt throbs just from looking at it.

"I'll help," you whisper coyly, grabbing his trousers and edging them down.

Levi's eyes are glazed over, and his forehead is covered with a thin layer of sweat. Fuck, he
practically looks like he's glowing. He nods, words escaping him, and you make a mental
note to try and get some noise out of Levi.

With Levi's pants gone, leaving him just in his boxers with his dick pushing up painfully
against the fabric, he looks fucking heavenly. It's a whole new side to him: tensed and
desperate. And you did that- only you can do that.

You trail your fingers along the waistband of his underwear, your touch featherlight. "You
want me to?" you whisper.

Levi's head whips up and down so quickly that you wouldn't be surprised if he cracked
something in his neck.

You're feeling awfully cocky right now, so you add, "I can't hear you."

"Yes," he immediately forces out, and you're genuinely surprised by the way his words seem
to falter before they leave his throat. Levi swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing, and he
musters out, "please."
Fuck. He's not stammering, but he's sure as hell close to it.

You can feel the heat behind your cheeks. You grab the waistband of his boxers and pull them
down, and your cunt fucking throbs. He's thick, deep in color, twitching. You might just have
to stick to sucking him off because there's no way in hell you'll be able to fit him inside you.
There's precum spilling from the tip, dripping onto his abdomen as his cock bobs up against
his stomach.

"Fuck," you whisper, placing one of your palms on his thigh. "Fuck, you're huge."

A ragged breath tears itself from Levi's throat, and when you meet his eyes, your breath
hitches. He looks tortured, fisting the sheets, shoulders tensed so high that they're practically
up to his ears. He also still looks absurdly nervous, but you know that the nerves aren't going
to go away until you start to do something.

You don't have the mental capacity to worry if you're going to be any good at this, not when
Levi is a fucking rigid, pulsing mess beneath you. You reach forwards, and you let your
fingertips fall against his dick.

Levi jumps like you've burned him, and some sort of groan rips itself from his chest. "Fuck,"
Levi chokes, like it's the only word his brain is capable of producing.

You wrap your palm around him, and Levi fucking squirms. You keep your eyes glued on
him as you start to slowly work your hand up and down his shaft; you need to figure out what
he likes and what he doesn't. Unfortunately, Levi isn't helping you much in that department
because it looks like he enjoys everything: every pull, every rub, every squeeze.

You roll your thumb around the head of his cock, pretty and flushed, and Levi moans. His
hand smacks the headboard behind him- you think that's sweat beading down the side of his
head. If you knew this was going to get him so worked up, you would've done it a long time
ago.

Hips pushing into your hand, Levi writhes against the sheets, teeth locked down so hard on
his lip that you wouldn't be surprised if he started bleeding. God, he's gorgeous.

This effect that you have on him- the squirming, the panting, the desperation. It's
unbelievable. It's like every touch you leave is physically burning him, scalding his skin. His
knuckles are practically white from how hard he's gripping the sheets, and suddenly, you
want his hands in your hair. That can wait for now- you haven't even started yet.

"Fuck," he manages again, "fuck, please."

He sounds deranged, like he's not completely there. His hair is sticking to his forehead, glued
down by sweat, and his chest is rising and falling so quickly that you're half expecting his
heart to jump out of his ribs.

"Okay," you assure him softly, shifting yourself forwards to put yourself in a better position.
"Stop me if you want."
But you know he won't, and he knows he won't. You've got him wrapped around your finger;
you can only imagine the devastation you would cause him if you stopped and left him now.

You start by pressing your tongue to his abdomen, where precum had spilled onto his
stomach. It doesn't taste as awful as you'd been expecting, and you have no problem
swallowing it. Levi groans, something obscene that makes your cunt pulse. You lap up the
salty liquid on his abs, occasionally looking up to make eye contact. Levi looks pained,
tensed, like he's waiting to get burned by your tongue.

You raise your eyes, locking onto his gaze through hooded eyelids. "You taste good," you
murmur.

Levi's jaw drops open, and his lips form silent curses. Fuck, he can't even find the energy to
curse. You've got to be doing something right.

Then, finally, you kiss the head of his cock.

The effect is instantaneous, and you wish you could replay it over and over again in your
brain: Levi whines. His back arches, hips pushing up (if it wasn't for your other hand on his
thigh, he would've shoved himself into the back of your throat) as he bucks into your touch.
He throws his head back, and fuck, you want a painting of Levi like this hanging next to your
bed.

Slowly, torturously slowly, you take more of him into your mouth. The moan that comes
from Levi's lips isn't anything you've ever heard before, and it drives pleasure straight down
to the pit of your stomach.

You take him as far as you can, sinking as much of your mouth over his cock as you can. He's
too long for you to get all the way, and he's thick enough that he's fucking stretching your
throat out. You nearly gag, pushing painfully against your gag reflex until you pull yourself
off, releasing his cock with a pop. You keep your hand on him, stroking him slowly to keep
him stimulated.

"Shit," Levi pants, nails scraping along the bedsheets. You wouldn't be surprised if he tore
them. "Shit, I- nngh," he groans as you press your tongue to the side of his shaft. "Fuck, you-
"

Smiling, you like a long stripe from base to tip, then finish with licking over the top of his
cock. Levi squirms beneath you, hips twisting. "You're huge," you whisper, pumping him a
bit faster. "I don't know how the hell you're going to fit inside me."

Somehow, Levi's eyes blow even wider, and he twitches in your hand. You kiss the head of
his cock again, and he stifles his whine, sounding like it pains him to do so.

You pull off again. "It's okay," you murmur.

Levi's eyes meet yours, foggy with lust. He's been trying to keep himself together (not very
well, at least) and you know relinquishing control is never something he'll have ease with
doing. But for once- even if it's just this once- you'd like to see him give himself up, trust
himself with you.

"You can let go," you say, and you slide him back into your mouth.

So Levi does. He lets go.

Physically, he lets go of the bed sheets. Mentally, he lets go of his control, his innate desire to
keep himself somewhat stable as you suck his dick, sending tremors up his spine and making
him dizzy. Pleasure is burning in his legs, in his core, fucking everywhere as you bob your
head around him.

He's thrashing, melting, and spiraling all at once. Deliriously, he wonders if this is how you
felt last time, when you'd came on his fingers, because if you were even feeling half of what
he was, you would've been fucked out of your mind. Shit, he's insane, driven himself fucking
mad as you suck him off, heat enveloping his cock.

How he ended up with the most perfect person in the world, here, making him feel like he's
on top of the fucking world, he'll never know.

You bob your head, curling your tongue around the head of his cock as you rise and dragging
it down the side as you dip low again. Levi is a mess, growling and whining and moaning as
he struggles for air as you continue to drain all of the air out of him. Your lips are swollen,
cheeks hollowed, fingers smooth against the base of his cock. He's fucking massive and you
take him the best you can, hoping that you're bringing him to the same point he's brought you
to.

"Fuck, fuck, nngh-" Levi whines above you, and you feel his hands bury themselves in your
hair. Fingernails against your scalp, palms against the top of your forehead, pressing at your
scar.

You don't mind. If he needs a physical anchor, then you'll be that too. You'll be whatever he
needs you to be.

"Sh- shit," Levi cries out, and it sounds like he's trying to form words but he can't find the air
in his lungs to do so. You've driven him to the point of no words, no comprehension: just
your mouth on his cock, your hand around his base, your tongue rolling across the head. He
pulls hard on your hair; you don't care.

You've got him. He's unwinding, he's breaking, he's falling apart under your mouth. His heels
are kicking at the bed, his hands are gripping your skull hard enough to bruise, he's groaning
and whimpering like he doesn't have a care in the world. His thigh is tensing underneath your
palm, and judging from the labored breaths and strangled sounds dragging themselves from
the depths of Levi's lungs, he's getting close.

Encouraged, you suck harder, hollowing out your cheeks as much as physically possible.
Levi writhes above you, panting, and you start bobbing your head faster.
You hear a strangled whine from Levi. You don't care; you suck harder, faster, rolling your
warm tongue around his cock, thumbing tracing one of the pulsing veins on the underside of
his shaft. He's almost there, he's so close- you know he is. Just a little bit more...

If Levi had any reservations about cumming down your throat, he's in no position to act on
any of them. Levi's back arches and his hips buck upwards; hot semen squirts into your
mouth. The taste isn't great, but it's manageable, and you continue to milk him for all it's
worth as Levi falls apart. The moan that tears itself from Levi's throat goes straight to your
core.

He collapses against the bed, spent. Levi is breathing hard, head tilted back against the
headboard. You slowly release his now-soft cock from your mouth, sitting back so that you're
on your knees. That was somehow even more fun than when Levi was fingering you- and so
much more rewarding.

You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. "Was that okay?"

Levi rolls his head up and shoots you a glare. "The fuck do you think?"

You laugh. "Good, then," you say with a grin. You shuffle back over top of him, gently sitting
your ass down on top of his thighs. "That was fun."

Slowly, Levi shuffles his underwear back up and over his cock, covering himself. Huffing, he
reaches up with one limp hand and grabs the back of your neck. Levi pulls you in and kisses
you, and you happily reciprocate, surprised that he's so eager to taste himself.

Apparently, that's the last of his energy. Levi lets go and his hand falls limply to his side, his
head tipping back against the headboard. "I'm up next," he says hoarsely, and the rawness of
his voice makes something flutter in your chest.

"Right now?" you tease. "You look like you can't even move."

Levi scowls, turning away. "Shut up."

Grinning, you lean in and kiss him on the cheek. "It's okay. No expeditions soon, no life
threatening stuff. We've got time."

"I'd say your father counts as life threatening," Levi grumbles, and you sigh. He sees the look
on your face and relents. "Fine. We don't have to talk about it. Let's just wait until he shows
up to kill you and then we'll work on it."

"Works for me," you joke lightly.

He sighs, then tilts his chin up. You get the hint and kiss him softly. "Do me a favor?" Levi
murmurs. You hum in assent. "Grab your 104th squad. Mikasa, Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie,
Krista, and Sasha. Tell them to meet in the meeting room next to Erwin's office in fifteen
minutes."

"Historia," you correct. "She said that's her real name."

Levi rolls his eyes. "I don't care. Just get them to meet there in fifteen minutes."

You roll your eyes in return. "Yes, Captain."

He squeezes your side in retaliation and you nearly flinch- dammit, he nearly tickled you.
"Get going," Levi orders, nudging you.

You smirk. "You're just getting me to leave so that I don't see you struggling to get up?"

Levi groans. "Shut up."

"Fine, fine." Laughing, you push yourself off of his lap, stumbling to your feet. You grab
your shirt, pulling it over your head, then start fussing with your boots and socks. "How bad
is my hair?" you ask, remembering that Levi was tugging at it only a few minutes ago.

He glances at you, then gives you a once over. "Messy."

"Very specific, thank you."

"Fine. Really messy."

"Even better."

You pull your jacket over your shoulders, then lean back to Levi, kissing him briefly on the
forehead. "Thank you. For letting me do that."

Levi snorts. "You're thanking me? That was the best fucking thing I've ever felt in my life."

The raw honesty behind Levi's abrupt comment makes you laugh. You kiss him quickly on
the lips before you head towards his door. "I'll have them ready in the conference room in
fifteen," you call over your shoulder. "Unless you need more time to get back on your feet?"

"Fuck you," Levi calls from behind you.

"Please do," you retort, grinning. "But I think you need your energy back first."

You shoot him a quick wink and close the door before Levi can throw anything at you.
Grinning to yourself, you squeeze your eyes shut and try to hold in your squeal.

You did that. You sucked Levi's dick so well that humanity's strongest can't move.

If that isn't an ego boost, then, well... you're not quite sure what is.

Skipping happily down the hall, you make your rounds. Armin's reading in the corps' library,
and he agrees to go find Eren and Mikasa for you and meet everyone in the conference room.
Sasha's down in the mess hall (predictably) and she's sitting with Krista- Historia, dammit-
who's been sort of despondent every since you got back from the mission to rescue Eren.
Sasha tells you where Connie and Jean are- goofing off in the stables- and you head there
next, telling them to come with you.
Everyone seems to be in pretty good spirits, considering the disaster that happened a few
days ago. The 104th seems to have extremely good luck (or bad, depending on your point of
view): the survival rate is absurdly high. Even when there were three people in the squad that
ended up being titan shifters, everyone made it out. It'd be too convenient to hope that the
titans took care of Reiner and Bertolt (you're still not sure what the hell was up with Ymir)
and you know there's going to be another fight with them. Nothing you can do but prepare.

You're in the middle of a riveting conversation with Armin about flight patterns with ODM
gear when the door is thrown open and Levi strides in. Everyone quiets down immediately.

"Captain!" Eren says, sitting up straight. "What'd you want us for?"

Levi doesn't reply. He grabs the seat at the head of the table to sit down, and you bite your lip
to hide your grin; it's clear that he's stiff.

Once he's seated, Levi's gaze sweeps over the gathered cadets. You feel Armin straighten up
next to you, and Sasha looks nervous. You can understand how Levi would be intimidating,
but you can't even see it anymore. All you see is the shift of his soft hair, the delicacy of his
fingers as they lace together, the steel of his grey eyes that you know is hiding more
compassion than he'll ever admit.

He really is beautiful. You'd told him similar while you were... well, together, driven by the
heat of the moment, but you'd really meant it.

"This is my new squad," Levi says, breaking you out of your trance. "Logan is my second.
Any questions?"

You'd expected a bit more surprise, if you were honest. There's a few sets of wide eyes, a bit
of hesitancy, but everyone seems to sober up rather quickly. The determined look in Jean's
eyes surprises you most of all. Historia, who's looked rather lifeless since losing Ymir,
manages to look somewhat motivated.

"Good. It's too dangerous to stay here. You leave tonight."

"For where?" Sasha asks.

Levi's eyes flicker to you briefly, probably to gauge your reaction- you hadn't known
anything about having to relocate- and you give him a weak shrug. He knows you'll do
anything he asks of you without hesitation. "A settlement in the woods," Levi says finally.
"Everyone except Springer moves out tonight. Ackerman, you're on orders to rest." Ah, right-
Mikasa injured her ribs in the expedition.

Connie frowns. "Why not me?"

"Hange's got a few questions for you and a mission to your home village."

Connie's mouth shuts immediately, and you can see his expression fall. From what you've
been told, the titans came from Connie's village, and he's lost his whole family. You can't
even imagine how devastated he must be, and you'd love to be there for him, but he doesn't
act like it's something he wants to talk about.

Levi's eyes sweep over the 104th- his new squad- and pause on you only briefly before he
says, "I'm headed down with you for tonight, but then I'm heading back here. You'll be on
your own for a few days."

"When do you come back?" you can't help but ask.

"After Erwin wakes up and I have more concrete orders. Could be tomorrow, could be a few
days. Doctors say it should be soon," he says. "Clean, train, don't kill each other. Logan's in
charge. Clear?"

"Clear," you echo in unison with the others.

Levi nods. "Good. Pack your things, carriage leaves in half an hour." Everyone stands,
yourself included, but Levi adds, "Logan, wait one minute." Pausing, you sit yourself back
down, smiling weakly at Armin as he closes the door behind him, leaving you alone in the
room with Levi.

You glance back towards him. "What's happening?"

"Not sure." He crosses his arms. "A lot of discourse in the MPs. I don't know a lot of details,
but I know we can't risk the safety of Eren and Historia."

You blink. Eren's understandable, but... "Historia?"

He nods. "Daughter of a noble family. Some shit like that. Those two are your priority. Got
it?"

"Got it," you repeat.

"Good." Levi's expression wavers, and he shifts forward in his seat. You can see it: he's
moved out of work mode. "Stay safe," he says quietly. "Keep them all close to the settlement.
Run patrols in shifts. If you're going to send anyone outside, do it in pairs or groups. That
includes you."

You nod along. "I can take care of myself," you assure him quietly.

"I know that. So do they. But with your father out there, I'm taking no chances while I can't
be there." Levi leans back, clearing his throat. "I guess that makes three. Eren, Historia, and
you. Those are your priorities while I'm not there."

"Okay."

Silence follows. You're a bit nervous, having to be in charge, but you know Levi's behind you
every step of the way- even if he's stuck at HQ for a bit.

The door's closed, it's just you and him...

 You reach out across the table and grab his hand. Not even fifteen minutes ago, you were
giving him head: now, you're sent out on a mission. You really do need to make your time
count, don't you? "I'll be safe," you murmur. "I'll see you soon."

He squeezes your hand lightly. "See you soon."

And with that, you head out of the conference room with your head held high, ready to tackle
whatever the fuck comes next. Reiner and Bertolt, the military, your father: too many things
to deal with, too many enemies to face.

It doesn't matter how many you have to take down. With Levi, and your new squad, you can
handle anything.

The meeting place is dark. It's enclosed and two against one, so if it comes to a fight, he
knows he's screwed. The woman in the corner hasn't taken her eyes off of him ever since he
walked in. If everything goes smoothly, then there'll be no need for any sort of conflict. At
least, that's the plan. "I hear you're the ones to talk to for low profile jobs," he starts.

"I'm a busy man," the man across the table from him says, adjusting the brim of his hat.
"You're lucky it was Fizal that recommended ya. We've got other priorities, but she
mentioned our intentions might line up. Wouldn't have looked your way otherwise."

He nods. "I understand."

"Good. Then state your business."

He reaches into his briefcase and pulls out a heavy bag. The jingle of coins makes the man
across from him straighten up as he plunks it down on the table, letting the coins rattle for
full impact. It's nearly his whole life savings, but it'll be worth it.

"I need you to kidnap a scout for me," Willem says.

Kenny grins. "You're speaking my language."

Chapter End Notes

GAH that was some good smut to write. therapeutic shit.

As usual, you guys and your support are unbelievable. Next chapter is already 10k ish
from just the rough version. I'm so excited for that one- it's probably going to be my
favorite chapter of this fic so far. Hope you guys'll love it as much as I do.

I love you lot. Stay healthy. <3

 3-2
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Do you need something, Levi, or are you just going to sit and glare at me all day?"

Levi narrows his eyes. "I have places to be."

"I'm sure you do," Erwin agrees. He rolls his shoulder in a circle- his armless shoulder- and
Levi has to swallow the bile rising in his throat. He's not used to it yet. "I appreciate the
concern-"

"It's not concern."

"-but I know you have more pressing matters."

He does. Hange's prepping their squad to leave in about ten minutes, so Erwin's right- he
doesn't have long. "You going to pass out again?" Levi says tentatively.

Erwin chuckles. "I think sleeping for a week is more than enough. I've only been up for a few
hours, Levi, I'm not going back to sleep anytime soon." His eyes drill holes into Levi's skull,
and he adds, "although I can understand the anxiety you have with seeing people in comas."

Levi bites back his scowl. "Fine."

He hates it. He hates how Erwin always seems to know exactly what's on his mind, exactly
what he's worried about. No one should be able to tell when he's worried: not Hange, not
Erwin, and especially not you, even though you're getting better and better at it with every
day. It should be a good thing, that you're understanding him more, but it just makes him
more nervous.

You. All his thoughts always circle back to you.

Levi stands, kicking his chair to the side and striding towards the door. He stops in front of it,
glaring at the door handle.

It's easy. Just grab the handle, turn, and walk out.

Erwin is silent behind him, waiting for him to bring to light whatever's on his mind. Levi
wants to leave, wants to walk away from this conversation that he's mentally preparing
himself to have. Dammit, he wants to.

Instead, he turns around, glaring at Erwin again. "Tired?"

"Not exactly, no," he replies. "Ask away."

Oh, fuck you. Levi's brain feels like it's burning in his skull.
"Is it mission related?" Erwin presses.

"No."

"Then I assume it's about Logan."

Levi doesn't reply, but his eyes narrow.

"Those are the only two things you actually care about, Levi," the blond man says with a
chuckle, shaking his head. "It wasn't a difficult guess."

Fair enough. Still, Erwin's annoying him. Levi crosses his arms, holding Erwin's gaze. If he's
so good, maybe he can just read Levi's thoughts and then he won't have to speak at all.

Erwin's still silent.

Okay, fine. So the difficult bastard is going to make him talk. "You sent me off to see her
while she was training," Levi starts, thinking back on the 'private lessons' that Erwin
approved so quickly that it startled him.

"I did."

"And you sent her to visit me while we had Eren cooped up in that disgusting old building."

His bushy eyebrows rise. "I didn't realize you felt so strongly about the establishment. I
could've set you up elsewhere."

"Why are you enabling this?"

Erwin pauses. There's a beat of silence, then, "I don't understand what you're saying, Levi."

Levi swallows hard, and then he continues. "You know what she is to me," he says steadily.
They've had that conversation before, back when he fought for you to take gear into Wall
Rose. "And you know how bad of an idea this is. You know that this kind of thing is pointless
in our line of work. Why are you encouraging this?"

"I wouldn't say it's pointless," Erwin replies thoughtfully. He glances at the window.
"Everyone deserves to find their own bits of happiness, no matter who they should find them
in or how brief they may be." He stares at the outside for a bit longer before turning back to
Levi, and as Erwin always does, he understands the real question Levi's trying to ask. "Levi,
are you asking me if I think the two of you are a bad idea?"

Yes, that's exactly what he's asking.

When Levi doesn't reply, Erwin gets his answer. The commander chuckles. "Levi, do you
regret anything you've done for her?"

"No," he replies without hesitation. "But that's not what I-"

"I'm surprised, Levi. I thought you had more faith in-"

"Fuck off, Erwin," Levi snaps. "You know exactly what I mean."

"Yes, I do." Erwin's fingers rise to comb the facial hair that's been growing on his face while
he's been passed out, and his eyebrows narrow at Levi. "I've told you about Marie," he says.
"So yes, I know exactly what you mean."

Marie. That was a piece of information that Erwin had only trusted Levi with about a year
ago: the woman he'd been in love with before joining the scouts. The one he'd left because he
chose to pursue titans, choosing the Survey Corps over her. Levi had never met the woman,
but anyone that could have Erwin completely enamored was obviously not one to be trifled
with.

"If she was in the scouts," Levi asks, "would you still be together?"

Erwin's hand drops into his lap. The silence that follows is thick with tension, until Erwin
says, "I suppose we'll never know."

Levi grinds his teeth together. This isn't helpful at all. "Fine," he says shortly, turning back for
the door. This time, he grabs the handle.

"Levi," Erwin calls.

His hand freezes. He doesn't turn around.

"If you're asking me to tell you it's a bad idea, or tell you to call it off for whatever reasons
you've concocted in your head, I won't," Erwin says, and Levi finally turns around, glaring
hard at his commander. "Because it's obvious to anyone with eyes that she's as infatuated
with you as you are with her. Plus, you've been considerably more reasonable ever since I
started sending you to see her."

His sharp reply is posed on his tongue, ready to go. Levi doesn't say it.

"And it's clear she makes you happy, Levi," he finishes, his expression softening. "Whether
you believe it or not, you're allowed to be happy. You don't have to see your happiness as a
reason to be on guard."

Erwin's wrong about that one- he should. He definitely should. Anytime he's ever been
slightly happy, the world flips upside down. Levi can't remember ever being this happy, so
the eventual slump that he's sure will follow is going to be painful. Besides, he doesn't feel
like he deserves it. It'd be like discrediting the memories of Isabel and Farlan, and all those
that have gone before him. Happiness is a luxury, and he shouldn't be allowed such a thing
until the job's done. If the job's ever done.

"Happiness isn't exclusive to specific circumstances," Erwin adds. "There's no requirements

to be met."

It sure as hell feels like there is. "I know," Levi lies.

The commander sighs, and Levi knows he doesn't believe him. God, he hates Erwin
sometimes. "Get going," Erwin orders, nodding towards the door that Levi's standing at.
"There's a mission at hand, but there's no reason you can't steal the moments that you can get.
I trust that you know when those moments are."

He does, and he treasures them. Any moment he can spend with you is easily worth it.

"You're useless," Levi deadpans.

Erwin's lips twitch. "I hope that helped, Levi."

It did, actually. He needed to hear that.

Levi shoots Erwin one last look before he turns the door knob and leaves, shutting the door
behind him and leaving Erwin to be alone.

"Jean, there's dust."

"What'd you mean, there's dust?! I spent hours cleaning that shit!"

"Obviously not!"

"Logan!" Jean and Eren whine in unison.

You groan, letting your head slump to smack against the shelf you'd just wiped down, but you
immediately jerk your head off again so that you can inspect the shelf for smudges. "I can
already tell you that there's dust," you call across the room without looking up.

There's a noise of triumph from Eren and a cry of protest from Jean. Rolling your eyes, you
get back to wiping down the underside of the shelf.

The past couple of days have actually been kind of... fun. It reminds you a bit of your days as
a cadet. Piled in a house with Sasha, Connie, Jean, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and Historia hadn't
sounded as appealing as it ended up being. Although there's still a lot of cleaning that you
have to get done before Levi gets here (and listening to Eren and Jean squabble is making
your ears bleed), it's amusing watching everyone try to function in a typical household
environment. Cooking, cleaning, patrolling.

It's also really weird being in charge of people that you trained with. Eh- you're getting used
to it.

On your first night here, before Levi had left, Historia had sat down and told your squad
everything: how she'd grown up, what happened to her mother, how she adopted a fake name
and was sent to the training corps. Levi had mentioned that she was important, but knowing
now that she's from royalty puts you on your guard. You don't know much about the king and
the throne (you slept through those classes) but you're starting to get a rough idea of it.

"Hey, Logan!" Sasha calls, poking her head into the room that you're cleaning. "Can you
come inspect the main room?"
You run through the mental checklist of things to clean. "All the windows are spotless?"

Sasha nods. "Yep!"

"Got everything in the corners?"

"Yeah!"

"Undersides of the tables?"

"Undersides of the..." Sasha trails off. You sigh and roll your eyes as she says, "okay, give me
five minutes!" and dashes off.

The best housekeeper in your squad is easily Eren. You definitely should've expected it;
being forced to live with the original Levi squad for a month had ingrained all of the proper
cleaning habits into his head. Either way, it's nice to have someone that actually knows what
they're doing.

"What'd you think, Logan?" Jean calls.

You look up across the room. "What?"

Jean glances sideways at Armin, and then both of the boys look over to you. "When do you
think Captain's gonna get here?" he asks. "Armin's got a bet on tonight, but I say not for
another day."

Well, if Armin says tonight... "My money's on Armin," you say, grinning.

The blond smiles sheepishly and Jean groans. "Oh, come on."

"Armin's got a few more working brain cells than you do, Jean," you joke, tossing the
cleaning cloth you were using into one of the designated bins.

"A few?" Eren mutters.

"I heard that, you suicidal blockhead!"

"Be mad at Logan, she's the one who made the joke!"

"Yeah, Jean," you challenge, grinning at him. "Be mad at me. What're you going to do about
it?"

There's an "oooh" from Eren. Jean scowls, his face flushing. "You dumbass, shut up. I'd like
to see you stand against her for more than five seconds."

"Mikasa could," Eren objects.

You hum in reply. "Maybe." She definitely could- the girl's ridiculously good. You're not sure
how that would turn out. "C'mon, you lot. We've still got a bit more to touch up, and if Levi's
getting here tonight, then everything needs to be spotless."
True to Armin's hunch, Levi shows up that night, and he's not alone: Hange and their squad
are with him. Just like Levi, Hange's got their own squad, some of whom you recognize. You
nod to Abel as he passes you, the man from the wall, and wave to Moblit as he wanders
inside.

The Levi Squad gets preference around the table, and Hange's squad sit themselves down in
some of the comfier chairs that surround a small table. When you see Levi, you instantly feel
your shoulders relax, even though you know he was never in any danger. It's just nice to see
him. "Erwin's awake?" you ask softly when he's close enough.

Levi nods. "Yeah."

Good. You know Levi cares about Erwin more than he'll ever admit. You smile in return,
wishing you could hug him or kiss him- hell, even a hand squeeze- but knowing that you
don't want to out your relationship with Levi to everyone. Well, you're betting some of them
already suspect (probably Armin), but no reason to bring it to attention right now.

Once everyone's situated with tea in front of them, Levi runs a hand along the underside of
the table. Your squad waits with baited breath until Levi says, "huh. At least some of you
know how to clean," and you and Eren share a quiet high-five. "Time to get down to
business."

"Go for it, Levi," Hange says from their seat. They seem a bit more out of it than usual- you
wonder if they're okay.

The meeting starts, and you try your best to pay attention. Armin explains his ideal strategy
to recapture Wall Maria, and even though he claims it could be done in under twenty four
hours, it feels like some sort of dream. Of course, this means more experimenting on Eren, so
the conversation shifts to Hange, who typically runs the experiments.

When Hange says they want to remain low profile for the time being, it's met with a bit of
upset, but after they explain, you're even more confused. Some minister inside the walls is
dead- tortured to death, by the military police. Levi has always complained about the MPs in
the past, but this is something else entirely. You're glad you never joined them; being
surrounded by people who abuse their power wouldn't have been fun.

A civil war between the Survey Corps and the MPs. "Fun," you mutter under your breath.

You start becoming more invested in the conversation when Levi and Hange start arguing
about next steps. Hange insists that the scouts need to be cautious- if this location is
compromised, both Eren and Historia will be in danger. Levi's arguing that you need to keep
going, because if you're on the run, nothing's going to get done.

"How many of Nick's fingernails were torn off?" Levi demands, hand clenched into a fist on
the table. "How many?"

Hange looks bewildered. "All of them, I think."

"You talk after one," you say aloud, and all eyes turn to you. You pinch yourself in the leg for
speaking up; you should've just kept your mouth shut. "If all his nails were off, then he didn't
talk," you murmur, casting your eyes down at the table.

Levi nods in agreement, and you relax slightly. You're not sure why you knew that particular
bit of information, but it makes sense. "As I see it, we've got two paths," Levi says, holding
up two fingers. "We go outside before we're stabbed in the back, or we exterminate our
would-be killers first."

Wait for them to come to you, or go to them first. Personally, you like the latter.

"We'll do both," Hange says, a newfound determination in their voice. "We'll do both at the
same time."

Levi's hand falls against the table. "I guess that's exactly what Erwin would say."

They nods, straightening up in their chair. "Dismissed for now," Hange says, glancing at their
squad. "It's late. We'll reconvene in the morning." Everyone starts to rise, yourself included,
until Hange shakes their head. "Logan, stay for a minute."

Levi immediately sits back down at the same time that you do. You stifle your smile. You
definitely would've asked him to stay; he read your mind. Hange waves for Moblit to stay as
well, and you start piecing together what this is about: new information about your family.

You fidget anxiously in your seat. You hate this topic, but you know it's necessary.

Hange beckons you to come closer, and you move to the seat next to Levi. "Moblit and I have
done more investigating," they say, glancing at their partner. "I have some theories and a few
more questions about the farm."

You shrug. Subconsciously, you seek Levi's hand under the table. He squeezes your palm and
your heart jumps in your chest. "Fire away," you say casually.

"Alright. So I was looking more into our theory about the amnesia being some sort of
external factor," Hange says, looking back to you. "Moblit and I were discussing, and it
would have to be something exclusive to your family, considering as we have no discovered
cases of anything like this anywhere else."

"Fair enough," you agree.

"Can you think of anything? You told me once that Levi fed you tea that was supposed to
help with memory." Hange glances at Levi, who clenches his other hand into a fist. "Maybe
food or something that's ingested?"

Yeah, actually- you're kind of surprised you hadn't thought of it sooner. "Yeah," you say, and
you feel Levi's grip on your hand tighten. "The tree."

"Tree?" Moblit asked.

Your heart feels like it's racing in your chest. "Yeah," you say again, suddenly more excited.
"Yeah, there's this giant tree with these red fruits on it that they keep fenced off, specifically
not to touch. They said-" Ethel's conversation from four years ago in the barn comes back to
you and you gasp as you say, "she said that one of her- my ancestors ate one of those fruits
and lost her memory."

Levi's grip on your palm is so tight that it feels like he might break some of the bones in your
hand. "This is amazing!" Hange says excitedly, glancing at Moblit. "Perfect! This is exactly
what-"

"Wait," you say, your heart sinking. "They fenced off the area after the first person got
amnesia. No one's eaten the fruit since."

There's a pause. Hange's face falls. "Oh," they say, unable to hide their dejection. Moblit
sighs, patting them on the arm. "Well, don't mark it out yet. You said one of your ancestors
ate the fruit, right? So that means the tree's been there for a while." You nod along. Ethel
mentioned something about it being there when they moved onto the land.

"What do they do with the fruit when it falls?" Moblit asks. "Does it just pile up?"

You shake your head, frowning. The area beneath the tree always looked clear. "There was a
gate inside the fence," you recall, narrowing your eyes as you try to remember. You glance
sideways at Levi; his expression is stone cold. "I think they collected the fallen stuff, with
gloves, and they..."

It was normally Ethel or Rann who ventured inside the fenced area. You wrack your brain,
trying to remember. They'd pile the fruit into baskets. Ethel would... she'd take the fruit, and
she'd dig a hole in the backyard somewhere, and...

"They bury it," you say quietly. "I think."

Levi straightens up. You meet his eyes, and you're surprised to see light behind them. "The
crops," he says. "You said they grew their own food to eat."

Your jaw slips open, but before you can process it, Hange leaps onto Levi's point. "It
decomposes and becomes nutrients for the plants!" they say excitedly, nearly shoving Moblit
off his chair when they stand up. "That explains why you said it normally comes out of
nowhere- because they've slowly been ingesting it over the years!"

"What about the others?" you ask, very excited to jump onto this theory but also worried
about the loopholes. "His wife- she didn't grow up on the farm."

Hange snaps their fingers. "That's it- grow up! They've grown up there, so they've been
intaking it their whole life, in miniscule quantities! The ones who marry in or whatnot haven't
been around long enough- so you'll be completely fine- or who knows, maybe there's
something to do with the fruit infecting a developing brain?" They glance excitedly at Moblit.
"This would be such a cool experiment! What if-"

"No," Moblit says politely. "Let's not."

You can't stop the grin from spreading across your face. You turn to Levi, light shining in
your eyes. "So that means," you say, meeting his eyes, "that means-"

"Your accident was just that," Levi finishes, squeezing your hand. "An accident."

"Completely unrelated," you agree. "Just a coincidence."

You're beaming, staring into Levi's eyes, while Hange chatters on excitedly in the
background. "No, Moblit, imagine the discoveries from this!" they insist. "Fruit that damages
parts of the brain! And not even gradually- in an all or none fashion! How cool is that?"

You can't even look at Hange. You're lost in Levi's eyes, that cool slate grey. Yes, you're
definitely picking out those gold flecks now.

God, you really want to kiss him. What's stopping you?

"Can I kiss you?" you blurt out.

Levi's free hand reaches for your head and he pulls you in. You let your eyes flutter shut as he
kisses you, fast and hard. You can feel the relief in his movements, in the way he gently holds
your head, in the way his fingers squeeze yours.

The kiss is chaste, and both of you pull away rather quickly. Levi's eyes linger on you for a
second longer before his hand drops away from your head and he turns sideways to glance at
the other two people in the room that you'd forgotten were there.

Hange's hands are clenched into fists and their mouth is parted in a silent scream. Moblit's
jaw is practically on the ground.

Levi points a finger at Hange, then Moblit, and then back to Hange. "Say a word," he
threatens, "and I'll kill you."

Hange's mouth snaps shut, and they mime zipping their lips shut. Moblit glances between the
two of you, then to his squad leader, and then back to the two of you. "...what?" he whispers,
eyes blown wide. "When did- this- when did this-"

"Answer his question and I'll put you six feet under," Levi snaps, eyes shooting daggers at
Hange.

"Yes, sir," they reply, unable to help their grin.

Levi stands, tugging on your hand, but he doesn't look like he wants to let go. Biting the
inside of your cheek, you stand with him, and Levi starts dragging you down the hall. You
shoot Hange a quick grin over your shoulder and they throw you two thumbs up.

Smiling, you let Levi guide you down the hall, to where his room is set up. For the cadets,
everyone is piled into rooms and some people have to share, but as the squad leader, Levi has
his own room, well away from everyone else. You're grateful for it- any time alone that you
can get with Levi, you'll take.
He shoves his door open, pulling you in, and as soon as the door is closed, Levi pulls you
back towards him and kisses you hard. He pushes you back against the door, and you happily
oblige to his intentions, kissing him back furiously. One of Levi's hands threads up into your
hair, and his fingers across the back of your head help him tilt you exactly how he wants you.

You break away for air, gasping. Levi's panting too, slightly out of breath. For a moment, the
two of you pause, staring at each other.

"Levi," you whisper, smiling.

Levi's eyes widen slightly, and then he does something that surprises you: he hugs you. Levi
pulls you into him and his other arm circles your waist, holding you close. You wrap your
arms around his shoulders, resting your face in his neck and sighing deeply. He smells so
good- so familiar and warm.

Neither of you move. You stand near the door, holding onto Levi, swaying slightly in your
spot. Levi's forehead is pressed into your shoulder, and when he exhales, you think you hear
him shudder.

You wait for a moment, worried about breaking the silence, but eventually your curiosity
wins over. "You going to talk to me now?" you ask softly.

You feel him stiffen beneath you. "What?"

"Last time we talked about this. When you..." you trail off. "You've gotten so quiet and tense,
every time we talk about my family stuff," you murmur, squeezing Levi a bit tighter. "What's
on your mind?"

He lets go of you, breaking out of the hug. Levi doesn't even meet your eyes; he paces to the
other side of the room, pressing one hand to his forehead.

You wait, fingers drumming against your leg to keep yourself still.

The weight of the world seems to be on Levi's shoulders when he finally speaks. "When we
rescued you," he says, facing the far wall, "from the farm, and you told us everything that
happened. You mentioned that amnesia ran in the family lines, and that some people had
gotten it multiple times."

You swallow hard, waiting.

"The idea of that is..." You hear Levi as he exhales, tipping his chin up to the ceiling. "The
thought that you could lose everything again, after everything we've been through, all that
we've worked to build up..."

That explains it. The relief you always see on his face when you wake up in the morning,
how frantic he'd been when you'd woken up on that horse cart after the first Survey Corps
expedition, the way he waits for you to say his name before his shoulders relax.

Oh, god. You should've realized

Levi finally turns to face you, and there's some emotion in his eyes that you can't recognize.
"The idea of that is the scariest fucking thing in the world," Levi whispers, soft grey eyes
meeting yours. "Because hearing you ask me what your name was hurt even more than
thinking you were dead."

Holy shit, tears are piercing the back of your eyes.

"But if Hange's theory holds..." he exhales, looking away. "Then you're good."

"I think Hange's right," you say, blinking rapidly to ward away any tears. "I really do."

He nods. "I do too."

There's another painful silence. Slowly, you step across the room, closing the distance
between you and Levi. Once you're close enough, you raise your hand to cup Levi's chin. His
jaw is tense beneath your fingertips.

"Levi," you whisper, and you kiss him on the nose.

He inhales sharply, shoulders rising, but he doesn't move. You say his name again and kiss
him on the forehead, then again with a kiss on the cheek, and then again and again until he's
definitely got to be sick of it, and you kiss him on the lips. "Levi," you repeat, thumb stroking
across his cheek.

"L," Levi whispers, voice hoarse.

"Levi," you say again, kissing him one more time. "I need you. And I'm never going to stop
needing you. Alright? I'll say your name every single time I see you if I have to."

Levi's eyes soften, and he leans in to kiss you this time. You kiss him back, pouring a bit
more passion into it this time, and he responds in kind. Levi's hands go around your waist as
your fingers thread up into his hair, twisting the soft locks between your knuckles and feeling
through every bump on the back of his skull.

His hands drop and grab onto your ass. You nearly squeal into his mouth as Levi hoists you
up effortlessly, fingers splayed across the expanse of your butt. You feel him rotate, and then
you feel your body drop as Levi sets you down on his bed, climbing over top of you.

You kiss him hungrily, one hand drifting down to his collar to pull him closer. Levi grinds
against you, his pelvis brushing against yours, and you thumb open the top button of his
collared shirt.

Levi pulls back. For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other, breathless.

"I need you too," he says softly.

Your heart pounds noisily against your chest.

One of Levi's hands shifts to your hip, where your shirt has tugged free of your pants and
your skin is exposed. The touch of his fingers on your bare skin threatens to light you on fire.
The silent question hangs in the air. Are you doing this? Here, now?

If anything, you think this has been long overdue.

"You want to?" Levi eventually asks.

You nod. "You?"

He nods.

That's all it takes. Then, Levi's mouth is back on yours, clashing furiously with your tongue
as you fight to rid Levi of his top as he starts working your boots off. Your kiss eventually
has to break so that Levi can tug your shirt over your head, and you use the pause to fumble
with the last button on Levi's button down. He takes it off without a second thought and
tosses it towards the back end of the bed.

With both of you shirtless, Levi dips down again, and your lips meet once more. Levi rocks
into you, and you can feel his erection against you as his body rolls forward. Heat shoots to
your stomach and you kiss him even harder, eager for that feeling to return. The rush, the
heat, the euphoria- that feeling that only Levi can give you.

"Shoes," you gasp out against Levi's mouth, and he helps you toss your shoes off, your socks
following suit. You want to get out of the rest of your clothes, but Levi doesn't give you the
chance. He leans down again, mouth attacking the top of your chest, sucking hard at your
skin.

Your gasp is caught in your throat. You run your hands down his arms, feeling every firm
muscle, every bit of tension in his limbs. His soft hair brushes your collar bone as he kisses
your breast, hand rising to fondle you through your bra.

You're so lucky. You're so god damn lucky.

One of Levi's hands lowers, and he drags a slow finger up the seam of your crotch. You
whimper, arching your back at the sensation that you've been craving.

"Levi," you whisper as his hand rises again, cupping your breast. "Fuck, Levi."

He swoops in, grinding against you, and you feel his erection push at your cunt. Christ, the
clothing between you two needs to be gone. You need his heat against yours, his throbbing
dick against your pussy. You've never wanted anything this bad in your life.

Levi grinds against you again and you moan softly, overwhelmed by stimulation. Fuck, your
pants are still on. "Off," you demand, and Levi doesn't hesitate. He grabs at your hips and
starts tugging your pants down, and you awkwardly sit up to try and pull his belt off. It's
clumsy and it's a lot more struggling than you'd like, but the job gets done: Levi's belt and
pants are gone, and yours have followed.

With both of you in just your underwear, and Levi crawls back overtop of you. He moves so
that his face is just above yours, hovering there.
"Do you have any idea," Levi whispers, his eyes filled with craving, "what you do to me?"

Shivers crawl up your spine. You raise your hands up and wrap your arms around his neck,
smiling softly to yourself. "If it's the same thing that you do to me," you say back, lacing your
fingers into his hair, "then yeah, I do."

His eyes are alight with yearning, a longing that you've never seen before, a desire so strong
that it makes your insides feel like they've gone to mush. Levi's eyes flutter shut and he drops
his head down, pressing his lips gently to yours. You're going to melt, melt straight into the
bed sheets and dissolve in Levi's hands; his lips are hot and soft and just so
damn perfect. He's so perfect.

You feel one of Levi's hands skim to your bra and you arch your back so that he can slip his
fingers to the clasp. His mouth is still hot against yours, passionate and soft, and you hardly
even feel it when he gets the clasp undone.

You have to let go of Levi so that he can pull your bra off, but he goes right back to kissing
you. Levi uses one arm to keep himself propped up and the other latches onto your chest,
massaging your bare chest in his hand.

"Fuck," he mumbles against your lips, and you feel his dick grind down against you. "Fuck,
you're so perfect."

How ironic- you were just thinking the same of him. Levi doesn't give you a chance to say it
though; he kisses you hard, lips pushing at yours with a bruising pressure.

You let one of your hands drop, moving down his toned sides and towards the waistband of
his underwear. He looks painfully hard, cock straining against his underwear, and you let
your fingers tap the outline. Levi's teeth sink into your lip as you continue, trailing your
fingers across his length through his underwear.

He pinches one of your nipples between his fingers and you arch your back without meaning
to, your whine lost in Levi's mouth as his tongue moves against yours. You'd expected Levi
to want to rush this, to get into it and move through everything with a hurry, but it's
surprisingly gentle. He kisses you hard, sure, but his movements are carefully controlled and
it's clear that he wants to do this properly.

"Levi," you mumble against his lips, "please."

He understands. Levi's hand trails down from your breast to your hip and he pulls at your
underwear. You grab at his, easing it over his cock and down his thighs. Levi sits back so that
he can pull off his own briefs and then work yours down your legs, throwing them who
knows where before he climbs back over top of you.

There's a pause.

Levi's breath is hot against your lips. He's got one forearm braced on either side of your head,
holding himself up, but his body is still pressed low to yours; you can feel his hard, swollen
cock against your thigh. His eyes are drilling into yours, searching for any signs of hesitation,
any worries, any questions.

You lace your fingers together behind Levi's neck, then lift your head up to kiss him softly on
the mouth. "I want this," you insist softly. "I trust you."

He should know that, but his face still softens. One of his arms shifts, and you nearly flinch
in surprise when you feel two of his fingers press up into your cunt. You're desperately
soaked, so horny that it's almost painful- you get that he's going to stretch you out before
hand but honestly? You'd take it from him right now with no preparation or hesitation.

"I'm fine," you protest weakly as Levi drags his fingers through your folds. "I'm- hnngh-"

Levi slides two fingers into you and god, does that feels good. You clench down around him,
eyes rolling into the back of your head as Levi leisurely strokes your walls, scissoring his
fingers slightly. He finds that spot inside you that makes you feel like jelly with virtually no
issue, and holy shit, you may just cum right here and now.

He kisses the side of your neck and you feel your heart skip a beat. "Shit," you curse lightly,
digging your fingernails into Levi's back. "Levi, please, just- just fuck me already."

You feel him huff against the side of your neck- was that a laugh?- and you feel him drag his
fingers out of you. "Since you asked so nicely," he mutters, smirking.

Levi lifts his mouth from your neck and brings his face to hover over yours again. The hand
that had been fingering you is now fisting his cock, stroking himself as he positions his dick
at your cunt. You swallow hard as you feel his tip push up against your heat, finding your
entrance.

"Still trust me?" Levi murmurs, close enough to you that his hair is brushing against your
cheek.

"With my life," you reply softly.

There's a pause again. Slowly, Levi drops his head down and presses his lips to yours. You
squeeze his shoulder, relishing in the comfort of his lips as Levi pushes himself inside of you.

And holy shit, does it hurt. Levi's girth is pushing at your walls, stretching you in a way that
you've never been stretched before. It hurts, yes, but in a burning sort of way- like a fire that's
spreading through your pelvis, tearing at your muscles and searing your insides.

You scrunch your eyes shut, forcing yourself to take time to adjust. Levi doesn't move; he
stays where he is, eyes on you, watching your face contort.

"Fuck," you choke out. "Ow."

"You want me to-"

"No," you interrupt quickly, knowing that he was about to offer to stop. You open your eyes,
staring directly into the dark silver that's brought you so much comfort. "No," you repeat
quietly, "just... give me time. You're huge."

Levi's cheeks color, and his eyes flicker away. You laugh.

You let one of your hand fall from Levi's back to the mattress, next to where Levi's arm is,
and he gets the hint immediately. Levi laces his fingers with yours, pinning your hand next to
his head with his body weight. You make eye contact with him again, and it's like you can see
the weight of the world in his gaze.

You exhale shakily- the pain's dulled. "I'm good," you whisper.

Levi pushes in more, and you squeeze his hand so hard that you wouldn't be surprised if you
broke fingers. Fuck, he's huge. You're torn between pain and pleasure; it feels like he's
obliterating you from the inside out. You can't even tell whether it hurts or feels good-
definitely both.

"Fucking hell," Levi forces out.

"Fucking hell," you agree.

He leans in and kisses you softly on the lips before he breaks away to lock eyes with you
again. "Can I move?"

You nod. "Yeah."

Slowly, achingly slowly, Levi pushes in even fucking further- you didn't think it was
possible. Fuck, it feels like he's in your stomach. You curl your toes into the sheets, squeezing
the life out of Levi's hand. If he minds, he doesn't say; he keeps his fingers laced with yours
and his other hand on your hip, thumb rubbing soothing circles across your skin.

God- you're so damn lucky. So damn lucky to have someone that's this beautiful, someone
that's this physically fit and can so clearly tear you apart yet is being so unbelievably gentle
with you as you adjust to him.

"Fuck," you say hoarsely. "Fucking hell, you're big."

Levi snorts. "You want me to apologize?"

"No, dumbass." You force a smile, which doesn't take too much effort- the pain is fading.
"I'm fine," you insist, squeezing his shoulder. "Feels good."

"You sure?"

"Sort of."

"It will," Levi promises, and butterflies erupt in your stomach. He squeezes your fingers.
"Can I?"

Wordlessly, you nod. Levi drops his forehead to yours, against your burn scar, and his eyes
flutter shut; you let your eyes close too, losing yourself in the heat of Levi's skin against
yours, his breath mingling with yours, his cock pushed deep inside you. Carefully, Levi starts
to move, drawing himself out and then slowly edging himself back in. Every single time he
thrusts back into you, you can feel your walls stretching painfully, shivers racing up and
down your thighs.

It's quiet too, but you still can't hear anything. You can't hear the sound of Levi's cock sliding
back and forth inside you, you can't hear the rustle of the sheets beneath you, you can't even
hear Levi's breathing- though you can definitely feel the hot air on your lips. It's like there's a
blanket in your head, wrapping your brain into a bundle so that you can't even use it.

It's hurting a bit less with every thrust. Levi's still moving slowly, taking his time. "Levi," you
choke out, eyes scrunched shut, "fuck."

He hums softly, forehead rocking against yours. "Fuck," he echoes softly. "Nice yet?"

"Mhm," you hum through pinched lips.

It's not entirely a lie. It still hurts, sure, but... not so much. It's feeling good, actually- sparks
are dancing in your abdomen, your thighs are quivering, and your skin feels like it's covered
in goosebumps.

"Faster," you urge softly.

Levi chuckles, his breath hot against your lips, and he obliges. His lips touch yours, but you
can't even find it in you to kiss him back. You're overwhelmed, Levi's lips on yours and skin
against yours and his cock inside you. He thrusts faster, hips moving to press flush against
yours and then drawing so far back out that you nearly gasp every time.

You get it now. You get why people do this, because damn, it feels good. Your thighs are
quivering as you squeeze them around Levi's hips, trying to force him further into you,
because every time he hits that deep spot inside you, it feel like your brain has gone to mush.

And there it is- that same feeling from when Levi fingered you, that blissful feeling that
burns in the pit of your abdomen. "Levi-"

"I know," he says against your mouth. "Me too."

In a moment of coherency, you realize Levi's stiffened up too. He's not kissing you anymore,
too focused on thrusting into you and trying to control his own impeding orgasm. You
squeeze hard on Levi's hand and he squeezes your hand in return, clutching you tight.

Levi's panting, his breath mingling with yours, and you push your hips up in time with one of
his thrusts. Levi groans softly, thumb digging into your hip. "Shit," he curses, and a new
wave of butterflies seize your stomach. "Shit, L-"

"Levi," you choke, your entire body feeling hot, "I'm-"

Euphoria claims your brain and your body in one fell swoop. It's unlike the bliss that Levi
brought you to with just his fingers; it's so much more overwhelming and it feels like it's
tearing you apart. A titan could romp through the door right now and destroy this entire
house and you probably wouldn't even care; you're too lost in this blinding white ecstasy. You
arch your back desperately, shoving your hips into Levi as you cum, completely out of your
mind.

Levi moans, his voice low, and he tugs out of you sharply. You gasp, the empty feeling
making your head spin. Levi grabs his cock, and with a few quick tugs, he's hitting his climax
too, shooting ropes of cum onto your bare stomach. You barely even feel the liquid touch
you; your brain is still tumbling in your head, disorienting you.

You fall back against the bed, the sound of your and Levi's heavy breathing filling the air.
Levi keeps himself propped up above you, panting as he glances down to the mess and he
made and then back up to your face. He's got a thin layer of sweat across his forehead and his
eyes look vaguely hazy, but he's staring at you like you're the most beautiful thing in the
world, and you're sure you're looking at him with the same adoration.

Wow. Post sex bliss sure is something.

Levi looks like he's at a loss for words. You tilt your chin up, and his lips twitch before he
lowers his head to kiss you briefly. "I'll clean up," he promises before he lifts himself off of
you.

Well, if you don't have to move, then you certainly won't. You let your head fall back against
the bed and shamelessly check out Levi's bare ass as he crosses the room to grab tissues.

You let your eyes flutter shut as Levi moves back towards you. You feel his hands wipe
across your stomach, getting rid of any semen left on your stomach. You still can't believe
that just happened- you've been dreaming about that for who knows how long, and it was
even better than you could've possibly imagined.

"Tired?"

"Mhm," you hum in response, craning your neck up. Levi's cleaned you up and he's pulling at
some of the blankets. You hop off the bed slowly, taking one of the blankets and wrapping it
around yourself for cover. Levi's got a small bathroom connected to his room- another one of
the perks of being captain- and you're very eager to exploit it.

After relieving yourself, you step back into Levi's room. He's laying on his side, tucked under
blankets and looking at you. "Can I stay?" you ask softly.

Levi looks at you like you've grown a second head. "You're joking."

You roll your eyes, grinning to yourself. Levi shifts over to give you room and you slide into
the space next to him. You're both still naked, but he doesn't seem to mind and neither do
you. You tug the blanket up over your chest and Levi pulls a pillow under your head.

You sigh blissfully, and when Levi extends an arm, you happily snuggle into him. He's warm.

"You okay?" you hear Levi murmur.

You nod. "Yep. You?"

"Yeah."

There's another beat of silence. You've got half a mind to ask Levi to watch the stars, but
you're plenty comfy here. "Hey, Levi," you say into his shoulder. You get a hum in response.
"You know you've got to treat me like you treat the rest of the squad, right?"

You hear Levi snort. "No."

"Oh, come on."

"I don't care."

"They're good soldiers," you insist, squeezing his side. Your voice drops as you add, "they're
my friends. Their lives are in your hands," you whisper dramatically.

Levi looks unimpressed. "So?"

"You've got a job to do," you chide, rolling your eyes. "You've got a squad."

"I'm aware."

"So, you need to do it." You kiss his shoulder. "They're just kids. We're all equal in this little
squad of yours- so they deserve all of your attention too."

Levi raises his eyebrows. "All of it?"

You laugh. "No, dumbass, not like that. Just..." you trail off, shrugging. "Take care of them."

He studies you for a moment, then leans in to kiss you swiftly on the forehead. "You know I
will," Levi murmurs.

Yes, you do know. "Thank you," you murmur.

It's bizarre. Cuddled up under blankets with Levi, naked. Nothing but blankets between your
skin and his- and even then, it isn't always there. Your chest is flush against his abdomen,
skin to skin; it's quiet enough that you think you can hear his heartbeat. Levi is warm and he's
safe and he's everything you need him to be and then more.

He smells of lemon and... clean sheets. Fresh laundry. He smells like home.

You're so in love with him. So in love with him, with how he looks and how he talks and how
he shows you how he feels. How he smells, how he cares about you, how he cares about
everyone else around him. You're in love with everything about him.

Levi squeezes your side. "Sleep."

So, you do. And you get nothing but peaceful dreams.

The days fly by.

It's a bunch of politics and strategy crap, honestly. You enjoy being the second in command
because you're not actually required to understand what's going on- you just have to show up
and follow orders.

There's even one day where Jean and Armin pose as Eren and Historia and you have to let
them purposely get kidnapped in order to get information. You're not sure you're a huge fan
of this operating-within-the-walls bullshit; you much prefer the easy job of slaughtering
titans. There's less politics there.

After some shit with Dimo Reeves- the business man you threatened back in the evacuation
of Trost, funny how these things turn around- there's plenty more drama with Erwin being
detained. Dimo Reeves was apparently some sort of important figure head- then he went and
got murdered, with the Survey Corps blamed for his death.

You're grateful you and Levi finally took some time together when you did, because you've
barely had any alone time with him since. A fleeting kiss here and there, a quick hand hold.
That's all you've had time for.

Things get serious when you're sent to scope out Stohess District and Levi announces that
everyone needs to be okay with killing other people.

That piece of news seems to shake each of your friends to their core. It doesn't faze you-
you're not sure whether that's a good thing or not- and if Levi says you may need to kill, then
you'll just have to prepare yourself to kill. That's the only real choice, isn't it? Kill or be
killed?

"Positions," Levi instructs, pulling his hood up over his head and glancing up to the roof,
where Hange's squad is already spread out. "Logan, you're with me. The rest of you know
your jobs."

"Yes, sir," everyone echoes.

You toss your hood up, covering your face the best you can. Levi shoots himself up and
away, moving towards the girl on Hange's squad- Nifa, who treated your burn injuries after
Bertolt nearly killed you. Before you can follow, you feel someone grab your arm.

You turn, confused. "What, Jean?"

"You're okay with this, Logan?" he asks, eyes flickering side to side before landing back on
you. "Killing people?"

"Sure," you reply. "You're not?"

"No," he says incredulously, glancing at Mikasa and then back to you. "I signed on to
dedicate my heart to humanity, not to being part of a violent gang!"

Violent gang.

Something about that strikes a cord with you. Is that what you were in the underground? With
Levi, Isabel, and Farlan- a violent gang?
"No offense, Logan," Connie says, and you glance at him, "but Captain Levi solves
everything with violence. He thinks he can use it to get people to do what he wants."

You want to laugh. Levi, one of the most gentle people you know- and everyone sees him as
nothing more than a violent soldier. To be fair, they don't know Levi like you do. They see
what he wants them to see: a tough captain. A soldier. Violent- sure.

But so are you, for that matter. You can't remember how you grew up, but you'd been
completely unfazed when Levi told you that you'd have to kill people. That has to count for
something, right?

"So you think of me the same way, then?" you challenge, frowning at Connie. "Nothing but
violent?"

"No, of course not," Sasha jumps in, shaking her head. "But you didn't- I mean, Captain Levi
beat up Historia just so he could force her to become queen."

Ah. That happened this week too. Honestly, the whole thing had made you ridiculously
uncomfortable: you trust Levi and you know that he's only doing what he has to, but Historia
looked so upset that you couldn't help but feel frustrated. Your squad is looking at you warily,
waiting for some sort of response.

You were afraid of this. Some sort of division between Levi and your friends.

"I can't remember anything about how I grew up or what happened to me before this," you
say, gesturing vaguely to your scarred eye. "But," you continue, eyes shifting to Armin, "I
know that violence isn't a foreign language. I'm going to follow Captain's orders because I
trust his judgement and I believe him- things are going to get messy."

Jean lets go of your arm. He seems skeptical, almost like he's wary of you.

You sweep your eyes over the rest of your friends. "Figure it out," you say, hoping you don't
sound too harsh, "because I'm not willing to lose any of you just because you're afraid to
kill."

You hope that wasn't too far. Jean still looks frustrated. Mikasa is as stone faced as always,
but Connie's face looks sour. Swallowing, you turn and aim your grapples up to the roof,
shooting yourself up to the sky.

It takes a minute to figure out where you need to be- Levi assigned you to join Abel- and you
cross the rooves on foot, trying not to draw attention to yourself as you creep up the roof
shingles until you're huddled next to Abel by a chimney.

"Logan," he greets, eyes still glued on the streets where two coffins are getting loaded into a
carriage.

"Abel," you reply. "On the move?"

"Looks like it."

You hum in reply, watching as the carriage doors close shut. "How close do we follow?"

Abel follows your gaze. "Pretty close. Quietly, though. Stealth is the priority-"

A gun shot rings out, loud and clear.

Both you and Abel straighten up, eyes searching for the source of the sound, and your heart
drops in your stomach- it's coming from where Levi was supposed to be posted.

Guns.

Guns means military- right? Levi mentioned something about that.

"I'm going," you say firmly.

"Wait-" Abel starts.

There's a whir of gear.

You're not sure where the instinct comes from, but you throw your cloak up between you and
the source of the mechanical whirring sound. Sure enough, there's a gunshot, but it misses- it
strikes the top of the chimney. "Abel!" you call out, glancing at the blond man. He's already
drawing his sword. "I got it!"

Without waiting for a response, you jump, boots skidding down the roof as you search for
your attacker. It's a man with clipped hair, and sure enough, he's wearing gear- but not the
typical Survey Corps gear. His is attached around his back and hips, with straps racing down
his arms to his two guns. He's got the barrel of the gun pointed at you.

You jump off the edge of the roof, swinging out of firing range- but you can't hear him firing,
has he stopped?- and you loop around the back of the building, shooting straight up behind
where the shooter should be. Sure enough, he's standing there, gun trained on where you just
were.

There's no hesitation in your strike; you slice him across the throat.

He dies. Bloody and limp, the man slumps to the roof, crimson spraying across the tiles.

You land, surprised at how unfazed you are, and glance back up to Abel. Your throat
immediately dries. He's bleeding from his forehead and being held up in a chokehold by a
woman with a blonde ponytail. She's built tall and firm, and her eyes are drilling into you,
glare unwavering. She's got her gun pressed into the side of Abel's head.

"Drop the gear," the woman says, "or I'll shoot him."

Abel grimaces, hands clawing at the arm across his throat. You swallow hard, and very
slowly, you lower your blade to the ground and let go of it. There's a yell from somewhere
behind you, but you refuse to break eye contact with the woman holding Abel's life in her
hands.
"I said, your gear," the blonde says, pushing her gun barrel harder into the side of Abel's
head. He winces. "Are you deaf? All of it."

"How much time do you have?" you can help but snark. "It's time consuming."

"Better hurry it up, then," she replies.

Fuck.

You can't just give up your gear. You strip off your gear and you're virtually useless up here.
You're at the edge of the roof, dead body by your feet; maybe you could grab his guns? But
who knows if you're even a decent shot. But you can't let Abel die...

Why does she want your gear off? They had no hesitation shooting before. And the man you
killed- he hadn't fired once he'd seen you. They don't want you dead- so what do they want?

Your resolve hardens: they won't kill you, and you can't let Abel die.

Frustrated, you start yanking off your straps, loosening the harnesses and letting the straps
pool at your feet as you pull them away from your legs and hips. You undo the chest harness,
dropping it with everything else, and you let it all collapse next to the corpse, useless.

The woman nods. "Kick it off the roof."

More gunshots from behind you. Abel, wincing in front of you. Gritting your teeth, you kick
back with one foot and shove the harness off the roof, resisting the urge to look to the
commotion.

"Good," the blonde woman says firmly, and she fires.

"No!"

The yell tears itself from your throat before you can stop it. Abel, eyes blank and lifeless,
blood pouring from the side of his head, collapses to the rooftop, body crumpling against the
shingles.

"No," you say again in disbelief, shaking your head. "Oh, you... you fucking bitch."

There's another whir of gear, and someone else lands on the roof. You ball your hands into
fists as you give him a once over: he's tall with a hat, scruffy beard, thin and wiry. But the
woman's looking to him for orders- he must be in charge.

He grins and holds up his gun, aiming it at you. A shiver crawls up your spine. "Good, good.
Right where we need ya. Look at that, you're all grown up now."

"Fuck you," you snarl, eyes flickering to Abel's body. Bile rises in your throat. "You fucking
asshole."

"Aw, c'mon. Ya don't remember me?"

 No, you've got no idea who this man is. "Rot in hell," you snap.

"Well, I ain't surprised," the man says, grinning. He's still got his gun pointed at you, and
without your gear, there's not much you can do until he gets closer. "You're Logan's kid, ain't
cha?"

Logan's kid.

Logan being your mother.

Your heart seems to falter in your chest. All you knew about your mother was that she ran
away from Willem and the rest of the psychotic farm people to live in the underground, and
that her last name was Logan, which is what you took on. Levi said he assumed your mother
was dead, which is a safe assumption, but...

But what if she wasn't? Maybe something just- maybe something happened to her and she
had to leave, and you've got no idea, courtesy of the amnesia?

"You know my mother?" you ask evenly.

"Nah." He stalks towards you across the roof. You can't even back up- you're too close to the
edge and the drop is too far to be done without injury. "Figures you wouldn't remember me,"
he continues, rolling the gun casually in his hand. "Heard about your wacked up brain
through the rumor mill."

You tense. Should you know him?

Maybe. There's definitely something in your brain buzzing at you, setting you on edge.
Something about him, something about him walking towards you, something about his voice-
you know him. You do. But how?

"Should I know you?" you manage.

He grins. "Oh, this is going to be fun. We only met in passing, sweetheart, but I left a pretty
memorable impression."

He's only a few feet away now.

You nearly cry out when your brain pulses in your skull. He's coming towards you, he's
reaching for you, you need to stab him, don't let him get closer, don't let him kill you like he
killed-

Your breath dies in your throat.

"That's right," Kenny Ackerman gloats, "I killed your mother. Why don't I end the bloodline
here?"

Chapter End Notes

Happy Friday my loves!! <3 We got the awkward-first-time-having-sex experience.
Yay?

Oh yeah and then the Kenny bit. Next chapter I'm going hella off kilter, it's going to be
so fun. Bear with me guys.

Nearly 2,000 kudos- you're all insane (and 2,500 on no funny business. Where are y'all
coming from?!). I couldn't ask for better supporters. I love you guys <3
 3-3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Your head feels like it's splitting in two.

You can't even give him a proper response. You take a step back, nearly stumbling over the
dead body at your feet and going backwards off the roof. All those flashbacks, all those times
where you'd nearly attacked someone because you'd been lost in your own head (well, Reiner
wouldn't have exactly been a loss) were because of this fucker right here. Kenny Ackerman.
How the fuck do you even know what his name is? Where did that come from?

"Fuck you," you settle on, raising a hand to your temple to force your migraine to subside.

He laughs. "A woman of few words. I can work with that."

They're not going to kill you- they would've already. They want something from you. What
could they possibly want you for...

Willem. Dad.

You curse several times over in your head. Obviously, you don't know for sure, but it's a
likely conclusion. And now here you are: virtually defenseless. "What do you want?" you
demand, glancing sideways at the blonde woman, who's reloading her gun. Abel's corpse is
still laying on the roof- you can't even look at him. "The fuck do you want with me?"

"I thought the mother remark would've hit harder," Kenny says nonchalantly, glancing at the
blonde woman before looking back to you. "Guess you don't remember it."

He could be lying. That's entirely possible- it could just be a ruse to... to do what, exactly?
How does that make sense?

His footsteps echo across the shingles. "We can do this the easy way," he says, "or the-"

You turn, and you leap.

"Hey!" you hear Kenny yell, but you're too busy scrambling up the wall of the building next
to you. You claw desperately at the roof tiles, looking for handholds as you drag yourself up
onto the roof.

Rolling yourself up onto the shingles, you scramble to your feet and break into a run, not sure
where you can go but knowing that anywhere is better then here. Your boots nearly slip
against the roof tiles as you run, planning out your next jump to the adjacent roof.

There's a familiar hum of a cable.

Shit. You forgot they had gear.

You duck just in time as someone sails beside you, arm extended in an attempt to grab you.
You step sideways, about to maneuver down the roof, when someone seizes the back of your
collar and you choke as the cloth presses up against your windpipe.

"Nice try," you hear Kenny gloat, and his arm wraps around your neck. "But-"

"Kenny!"

God, you could cry. Levi lands on the roof, eyes blazing with fury. There's blood trickling
from his head, but otherwise, he seems okay. Kenny tightens his chokehold and you gasp,
trying to get air into your lungs.

"You try anything, and she dies!" Kenny howls at Levi, and his arm tightens around your
throat.

"You try anything," Levi snaps, and you're surprised at how furious he sounds, "and I'll kill
you myself!"

You're not getting any air; spots are clouding your vision. You need to communicate what
you've learned to Levi- Kenny isn't going to kill you. He won't, it's a bluff. If he wanted to
kill you, he would've done it already.

You force your eyes open just in time to see Levi's blade spinning through the air.

Kenny raises his other arm up to block the blade with his gun, and with the temporary
distraction, you shove up on the arm that's choking you out. All it takes is a sharp kick to the
shins and a hard thrust upward with your palm, and Kenny's arm is finally thrown off.
Coughing, you drop to the roof and roll down the shingles, no longer concerned about falling
off the edge. You just need to get away.

Someone crashes onto you. For a second, you think it's Levi, but then there's a sharp blow to
your head. It's the blonde woman from before, and she's pinning you to the rooftop. "Stay
down," she warns, fingernails digging into your shoulders.

Kenny's lackey. Abel's murderer.

You struggle against her, but you're still dizzy from Kenny nearly choking you out and you
don't have all of your strength yet. Regardless, you still tuck your knee into your chest and
stick your boot in her gut, then shove upwards.

The woman still doesn't let go, but you've shoved her enough that she falls sideways, pulling
you with her. The two of you roll across the rooftop until you try to brace yourself and the
blonde woman shoves you hard. You both come to a halt at the very edge of the roof with her
shin across your legs, one hand bracing your dominant arm down, and the other shoving your
head back over the roof's edge.

"Fucker," you snarl, writhing under her grip.

"Stay down, you mutt," she snaps back, fingernails pinching into the sides of your throat.
There's a resounding bang, and white hot pain burns in your thigh. You can't help but cry out,
more in surprise than in pain, and you wrestle enough slack from your assailant to tip your
head up and see what happened. There's blood staining your black pants, coming from some
sort of sting in the side of your thigh.

Kenny shot you. The fucker shot you.

You manage to shove the blonde woman off and she goes tumbling sideways, slipping off the
edge of the roof. Coughing, you drag yourself away from the edge, wincing as you put
weight on your leg. You survey the limb quickly: looks like it just skimmed you. Lucky.

Or... not luck.

You glance up. Kenny's still got the gun aimed at you, but he's looking at Levi. Levi's moved
from where you saw him last, but he's frozen in place, grinding his teeth together. You're
starting to understand- it was a warning shot.

"Nah, I ain't gonna kill her," Kenny says firmly, "but I don't mind injurin' her."

If he's not going to kill you, than you can take another bullet. You push yourself up to your
feet, pressing your palm to where the gunshot grazed your thigh. "Oh, fuck you," you snap,
glaring as hard as you can at him.

Kenny shoots you a grin. "You're spunky. This is gonna be fun."

You hear the retraction of cables and spin to see the blonde woman, who's shot back up from
the ground. She shoots towards you and you duck, pivoting and kicking your foot into her
side and sending her across the roof.

You see Levi move out of the corner of your eye. He could fight without worrying about you
if you just weren't in the way-

There's another gunshot. The bang is right next to your ear and you wince, bringing a hand up
to the side of your head. The bullet didn't hit you, but you have no doubt it could've if Kenny
wanted to. You spin, glaring at your mother's murderer. God, you still can't wrap your head
around that part.

"I wouldn't try anything," Kenny says loudly, and even though he's looking at you, you know
he's talking to Levi. "Wouldn't want a hole in your little girlfriend's arm."

"Levi," you say lowly, eyes drilling holes into Kenny's head, "he's grabbing me for Dad, I
don't give a shit if he shoots me-"

"Traute!" Kenny shouts, and something strikes the back of your head. Your brain bounces
against your skull, and you're passed out before you hit the roof.

Your last thought is the same person it always is.

Levi.
.

Levi can't see; he can't breathe.

Watching one of the military police hoist you up, completely uncaring for the blood gushing
down your thigh, is possibly the worst thing he's ever seen. Kenny's still got a gun pointed on
you, but his eyes are locked on Levi's, and he's got a smirk on his face that reads that he
knows he's won.

Kenny won't kill you. He won't. Levi heard what you yelled: grabbing you for your father. So
they need you alive. You can take a shot or two: you're tough. He knows that.

But why won't he move?

Probably because the idea of you being injured and it being his fault is too much for him. He
can't do that. If he tries to go after you, they're going to make it worse. He can't handle that.

By the time he's even somewhat tuned in again, you're gone. In the arms of some fucking
military goon, swooping away with Kenny, and he can't even do anything about it.

Levi doesn't register moving. He doesn't register flying away, heading back in the direction of
the cart with Eren and Historia. His mind is consumed with you, with the image of you
crumpling to the ground, knocked out and bleeding from your leg.

He can't do this. He needs to go after you.

In a last ditch effort to control himself, Levi exhales hard and completely blocks you from his
head. He forgets you, forgets what's happening to you, forgets what you mean to him so that
he can focus on the mission like he's suppose to. He has a squad; you'd be pissed if he
prioritized you over them.

Fuck. So much for that- he's thinking of you again.

You or the mission? You'd kill him if he chose you, not when your friends' lives are at stake.

Fucking shit.

Levi flies away, head spinning, grip so tight on his blades that he might break something in
his hand.

When you come to, you have no idea where you are.

There's voices, at least- two or three. The memories come back to you: fighting on the
rooftops, getting shot, then getting knocked out. You're most likely in the hands of the
enemy- whoever your fucking enemy is now. You try not to stir; instead, you do your best to
gather your bearings based on what you can figure out without giving anyone a hint that
you've woken up.
The floor is cement, cold and damp beneath your cheek and your fingertips. When you inhale
through your nose, you can smell the dampness, combined with something vaguely metallic.
You're barefoot; they must've taken your boots.

You try to calm your mind down, listening to the voices.

"I said-"

"I told ya, I know what you said. It's not my fault the little bitch made it painful."

That's Kenny. That's the son of a bitch that killed your mom.

"I specifically said no blood was to be spilled. That was part of our arrangement- that was the
deal. You're not living up to your side of the arrangement."

There's a snort. "Did you want her or not? I'm perfectly content to keep her here. She'll be
plenty useful to us."

Shit.

Slowly, you flutter one eye open, trying to keep up the charade that you're still knocked out.
The first thing you notice is metal bars, extending from the cement floor up to out of your
sight from your position. So you're in a cell, then. That would make sense.

Outside the cell, it's only a hallway with a small stool. There's someone sitting on said stool,
but you can't see who, because they're blocked by a tall figure in a long black coat. You feel
bile rise up in your throat when you realize that it's your father. He's arguing with Kenny,
who's got a hand resting on his gun. Behind him is the blonde woman that knocked you out-
you think Kenny called her Traute.

Four against one, and you're in a cell. Not great odds.

Willem starts talking again, and you see his necklace with that stupid charm bouncing off his
chest. "Fine. Hand her over, and you'll get the second half of your payment."

Ah- so you were right then. Willem paid off the military to capture you since he couldn't
handle it himself. Nice.

"Let's see the money first," Kenny answers.

"You're lucky I'm even considering giving it to you, after the shape you brought her here in."

The bullet wound. He doesn't want any blood spilled, but Kenny shot you in his getaway.

Kenny barks out a laugh, and you see his other hand rise to adjust the brim of his cap.
"C'mon, now you're just being difficult. Doc patched her up fine. It's not like she can't take a
couple of scrapes."

Willem shifts, and you finally see the person on the chair: Doctor fucking Fizal. God, you're
going to kill that bitch.
"Let her out first," Willem demands. "I want her in my carriage and tied up before she wakes
up."

"Too late for that," Kenny remarks.

Oh, fuck.

"C'mon, sweetheart. The only person you're fooling is your dear old dad here."

You bristle at the nickname, but you decide to give up the charade. "I don't know," you say
nonchalantly as you force yourself into a sitting position. "Fizal certainly doesn't look
thrilled."

The doctor's face sours. "You always did have a startling lack of awareness," she clips.

"And you've got a surprising lack of patient-doctor confidentiality," you shoot back. "Ever
heard of it? It sort of entails not sending your patients to their psychopathic fathers."

"You know nothing," she replies.

Your blood boils. "I know you sold me out, you bitch!"

"I figured you were a feisty one," Kenny says, and you glare at him. "Don't mind her- Mary
over here always tends to play both sides of the field, depending on what works best for her."

Mary- you didn't know her name was Mary. That feels too innocent. You're going to keep
calling her Fizal.

"We can make use of her," Traute says, speaking up for the first time.

You snort. "Happy to be of service."

"She's got a point," the bearded man notes, pulling out his gun. He points the barrel at you
from behind the bars- you're betting he could hit you with it no problem, even with the cell
bars in the way. He's not aiming for you now, at least; his gun is pointed to the wall beside
your head. "Say, for every day we don't get the pay you promised us..."

He's going to shoot.

You will yourself to stay absolutely still as the gun fires. You can hear the whistle of the
bullet as it blows by your ear, striking the cement wall behind you. You hold Kenny's glare as
you try to calm your rapid heartbeat.

Willem gasps, his voice strangled. "Don't," he snaps.

"Girl's got bite," Kenny laughs, sheathing his gun once again. Your shoulders relax
involuntarily. "We're hunting down the Survey Corps, in case you couldn't tell. I feel like this
one might know where they're camped out."

You stiffen up.

"So?" Willem snaps. "That's not my concern."

"Alright. Then you wouldn't mind givin' me the second half of the payment."

There's a long pause. The longer is drags on, the deeper your heart sinks into your stomach.
"...You'll get it," he replies eventually, straightening himself up. "Give her to me."

"Money."

"You'll get it."

"Then you'll get her when I get it."

Willem steps forward- quite foolish of him, he's not armed- but you can see the panic in his
eyes. You almost want to laugh at him, but right now, you're torn between two evils, and you
can't tell which one is the lesser. Going with Willem, he's obviously going to kill you, but
there's a window of escape in there somewhere. Staying with Kenny, you're going to get
tortured for information- information you don't even have- and the chances of getting out are
slim.

"Do I get a say in this?" you ask, breaking the silence.

"No," the woman behind Kenny says.

You roll your eyes at her. "I wasn't talking to you. I'm talking to the guy who shot me."

Kenny grins. "Fine then, sweetheart. Go on here with Daddy- you mentioned he was your
father, didn't cha- or stay and hang out with me. We've got some long, sharp tools that would
love to meet your acquaintance."

You do your best not to flinch, and you smirk as you say, "whatever's the least boring.
Anything would be better than this."

Willem looks stricken, but Kenny laughs. "Let's do this upstairs," Fizal suggests.

"You're such a bitch," you shoot out before you can stop yourself, your mouth moving before
your brain. "Do you really think anyone in here actually cares about your opinion?"

"Oh, she's gonna be fun," Kenny says gleefully, spinning his gun around his finger. "Yeah,
sorry pops- we've got some plans. I think Traute here wants some payback for the annoyance
that miss Logan here caused her."

You feel hysterical as you chirp, "aw, blondie's mad I shoved her off a roof?"

"You're just a little shit disturber, aren't you?" Traute shoots back, glaring at you.

You salute her mockingly. "Reporting for duty."

"Upstairs," Willem says shakily, and you can see the paleness in his face. He's not winning
this one, and he knows it. You wave at him as he stares at you, feeling awfully insane as the
four adults tromp away and then head up some sort of stairs. You hear a door creak open, and
then a set of footsteps heads back down the stairs, growing louder as the figure gets closer.

You straighten up, wondering if one of the four of them is coming back. No dice; it's
someone new, probably to act as a guard. The man glares at you, sliding down into the stool
outside your cell, still equipped in full gear.

You've got a guard. "Damn, giving me a guard?" you hum deliriously. Did you hit your head?
Possibly. "I must be dangerous."

"Shut up," the man snaps. "We know you are."

Huh. The voice is familiar... wait. "You're that dumbass MP that was giving me shit back in
training," you say gleefully, straightening yourself up. "The one that wouldn't fight me so
Levi had to step in. Dawson?"

"Duran," he replies, crossing his arms. "Looks like you still haven't learned shit about
authority."

"Seems like you haven't learned shit about actually doing shit with your life," you retort.
"Guard duty? That's your life's purpose?"

"Shut up."

You roll your eyes, then lean back against the wall, tucking your knees up to your chest. You
give yourself a once over: your thigh is wrapped tight with extra padding around where the
bullet skimmed you. You feel a bit sore and achy, but nothing that won't go away in a bit of
time. You've got a vague memory of that woman- Traute- hitting you in the head, so you
bring your hands up to your scalp and gently prod.

Sure enough, your fingers come away sticky with semi-dried blood. Okay, that's manageable.
You don't feel all that dizzy, so it could've just been a glancing blow.

You glare at your blood-covered fingers. Your hands are shaking.

Fuck- you're scared.

You've handling the whole kidnapping situation with plenty of awful attitude and a shit ton of
sarcasm- you should've realized you were putting up a front for yourself. You're scared out of
your mind. Two people who have uses for you, both of which end in your death. And you're
trapped in a damp, gloomy cell with no light except for a lantern just outside the cell. Hell,
you've even got a fucking guard, even though the cell's got a lock on it.

Who's got the key? Who are you going to have to somehow trick and disarm to get out of
here?

"So, is it fun?" you ask nonchalantly, wrapping an arm around your knees. Maybe if you keep
talking, you'll forget about how terrified you are. "Killing innocent people?"

"Shut up," Duran says back, eyes locked on something further down the hallway.
"No, really," you say cheerfully, cocking your head. "What was that huge spiel you gave us?
Don't slack off, have some conviction, and maybe we'll get into the MPs?"

He doesn't reply.

You grin to yourself. "Well, you did a bang up job, because out of ten potentials you only got
one, and she turned out to be a titan shifter. Well done, Duran. Inspiring the people."

"Do you always run your mouth?" he snaps.

"I do my best."

"Just shut up."

"Why? You're talking to me plenty."

Could you do this? Annoy them into letting you go? Yeah, maybe you could do that: be the
singularly most annoying hostage this world has ever seen.

"I can see age isn't treating you well," you add after a period of silence.

Duran looks like he wants to smack his head off the wall. "Oh, for the love, don't you ever
shut up?"

"No," you reply with a grin, "but by all means, pop on into my cozy little abode here and try.
You know full well I could beat you up without batting an eye."

"Like hell you could," he retorts.

"Why don't you get on in here and find out? I've been shot and I'll still have no problem
taking you on."

He snorts. "I'm not that dumb, Logan."

"Could've sworn you were. What a shame."

Duran's about to snap back at you when a door opens. You straighten up, wondering if
they've finally come to some sort of decision about what to do with you up there. Sure
enough, Kenny lumbers into view. At least he doesn't have his gun out- and he doesn't look
significantly murderous.

"You know her?" Kenny asks, glancing at Duran.

"No," he replies.

"Huh. Sure were squabbling like a bunch of birds down here." He turns to you, lips twitching.
"Unless sweetheart here is trying to flirt her way out of the cell?"

You can't help it- you laugh. "Yeah, right. I have standards."
"That so." Kenny kicks the leg of Duran's stool. "Alright, get upstairs. Traute's got your
orders, and ya clearly can't handle yourself down here."

His face reddens slightly, but all he says is "yes, sir" before he heads towards the stairs. You
hear the telltale sound of footsteps fading, then a door opening and closing. He's gone.

Kenny takes Duran's old seat, resting his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together.
He doesn't say anything.

Well, you're not going first. You purse your lips and tip your head back, glaring at the ceiling
of your cell. You haven't gotten the chance to stand up yet, but the cell's fairly tall: you
probably wouldn't be able to touch the ceiling if you reached.

"You don't care what we're gonna do with you?" Kenny asks.

You shrug, trying not to sound as scared as you are as you say, "I die either way, right?"

He snorts. "Can't even correct ya. There's no scenario where this ends well for you,
sweetheart."

"Unless I escape."

"That, I'd like to see." Kenny cocks his head- he's smirking. You're amusing him. "Enlighten
me with that plan."

You point at him. "Find a way to knock you out and steal the key, then," you continue,
pointing at where you assume the staircase is, "beat the shit out of anyone in my way and get
out of here."

"And go where?"

You shrug. "Away."

"Good start. But I need more detail than that." Kenny leans forward. "Where's the rest of your
little gang hiding? That brat Levi and his crew?"

"No idea."

"Uh huh."

"Honestly." You lean back against the wall, shrugging. "Levi's smart. With me captured,
there's no way he's relocating to anywhere I know about. Plus, even if I knew, I wouldn't tell
you."

You don't like Kenny. Just the way he's sitting there, so casual- your head is pounding as the
memory keeps dragging itself to the forefront of your brain. Now, you've got a face attached
to the mysterious figure that was reaching for you, the one that you wanted to kill. And now,
you know why.

Kenny snorts. "You keep glarin' hard enough and I'll burst into flames."
You shoot him a withering smile. "If only I'd be so lucky."

"You're just as murderous as the day I met ya."

"That's probably true."

"So it's true. Your memory got fried."

"Yep." Lying really isn't going to get you anywhere, is it?

"So you don't remember me."

You ponder lying. Tell him no, you've got no idea. But what good would that do you?
Besides, maybe he can tell you what actually happened. "I remember being under a table,"
you say softly, turning your head to glare at the wall of your cell. "Some screaming. A lot of
blood. I have a recurring flashback of someone reaching for me. I guess that'd be you?"

Kenny shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "It was a long time ago. I don't remember much of
the people I killed, especially the insignificant ones." He waits, like he's expecting it to rile
you up, but you don't move. "I remember your mom, though, because I remember you," he
says, and he holds up his hand. "You gave me this."

There's a scar on his palm- one smooth line. "Did I stab you?" you question.

"You did," Kenny confirms, lacing his fingers. "I didn't give two shits about your mother, but
after that incident, I dug a bit. Nothing much worth knowing, but I remember the bratty ones.
You were a little bitch."

Your lips twitch. "How old was I?"

He shrugs again. "No fucking clue, sweetheart. Maybe twelve? My brat sure was a little shit
around that age, so that'd make sense."

"You have a kid?" God, you don't even want to imagine how that kid turned out.

"Nah. Raised my sister's kid, though. You might know him." You shrug, having no idea who
he's talking about, and Kenny grins. "He's your captain."

Your eyes widen. "Shit- really? Levi?"

You knew Levi was born and raised underground- that much, he's told you- but he was raised
by this maniac? Kenny said sister's kid... so Kenny's his uncle. Well, you certainly can't see a
resemblance. Kenny seems much more unhinged. And now this unhinged psychopath is
probably going to spend the rest of his night (is it night? Day? You have no idea) torturing
you. Just your luck.

"Not Captain, eh?"

You jerk your head up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kenny grins. "I did my research when father dear said he wanted you kidnapped, sweetheart.
Private lessons with my nephew, eh? Fellow MPs say they saw him stormin' on into the same
tent you were sent into during the evacuation, and I doubt he was that concerned about the
bloodied mister you dragged in, considering you two left together. And the rage on his face
when we took ya! Been a while since I've seen the brat, but I'm betting that was a lot of
emotion for him."

Your stomach is twisting itself in knots. You'd messed up by calling him Levi, not Captain
Levi, like you should be referring to him.

"You're delusional," you say as casually as you can. "There's nothing between me and the
Captain. I'm just lucky he trained me."

"Aw, he's Captain now? He'd be so disappointed."

God, he's infuriating. How nice it would be to smack him.

Without you chirping back at Kenny, silence follows. The man doesn't seem to mind; he leans
back against the wall, staring at you. He can study you all he wants, you have no idea what
he's going to get from you.

The question that's been on the tip of your tongue finally manifests. "Why'd you kill my
mom?" you ask, surprised by how meek your voice sounds.

"She was collateral."

Somehow, that bothers you more than finding out Kenny killed her. She was just some
secondary part to his mission?

Kenny sees you glaring at him and he rolls his eyes. "She was a waitress at one of the better
shitty bars in the underground," he explains, crossing his arms. "I was after the owner. Pretty
sure the owner was in love with her, so I held her hostage and slit her throat when he
wouldn't cooperate. Tough love."

You feel bile rising in your throat. You swallow it down.

"Then, an annoying little shit runs around from the bar, screamin'," Kenny says, and you
know he's talking about you. "Tried to stop the blood but she was way dead. You hid yourself
under a table, and when I tried to grab ya- figured threatening you would finally get that
dumbass barkeep to cooperate- you stabbed me. Didn't even realize you were carryin' a
knife."

A vicious wave of pride seizes through you. Good- good for you.

"Oh," is all you can think of to say.

"Yeah, well, life goes on," he says nonchalantly. "There ya go. There's your tragic backstory.
One dead parent, and the other's a fucking cultist."

You snort. "Yeah. Lucky me."

"Ya got two short ends of the stick here. Options are slim, sweetheart."

"I still like my odds."

"Foolishly optimistic, eh? Sounds like you fit right in with the Survey Corps."

"Conniving, self-serving, and a dick," you list, ticking off your fingers as you go. "You check
all the boxes for the military police."

Kenny surprises you: he laughs. "Oh, yeah. Traute's gonna have fun with you."

The smirk on your face fades slightly, and you ask, "so I take it you're not shipping me off
with Willem?"

"Not until he pays me, sweetheart. And even if he does, I'd better be feeling generous." His
grin widens. "So, the deal is, we get some information out of ya. He doesn't seem to be too
happy with you gettin' roughed up, so the longer he waits, the worse you'll be when we turn
you in."

Your stomach flips. So they are going to torture you.

"There we go. Not as cocky now, eh?" Kenny grins, but you can't muster up the words to bite
back. "Alright, let's get this going then. Traute!"

You let your eyes flutter shut.

You're fucked now, aren't you?

You just need to shut yourself off. You can put up with a bit of pain; sparring with Levi
certainly wasn't a walk in the park, so you can take a few hits. You're tough; you can last.
Right?

...Right?

A door opens, then closes. You tense up as footsteps approach. They're going to have to open
your cell: you can see who has the key, where they keep it, maybe even make a run for it.
Could you surprise them? They don't want you dead, so maybe you could-

"Don't even think about it."

You shoot Kenny a withering glare.

"I'll shoot ya," he says, and he pulls his gun out of his holster. You know how good his aim is;
he won't miss. "You're right, we can't kill you yet. You're much more useful alive. But I think
a bullet in the foot might make it hard to walk, hm?"

You curl your toes up instinctively. No thanks.

Kenny gestures with his gun to the back of the cell. "Back up."
Glaring at him, you slowly scoot yourself backwards until you're in the far corner, away from
the door. Traute appears outside the cell bars, and she's got a set of handcuffs with her. You
see Kenny rifle around in one of his pockets and toss Traute a set of keys. She uses a small
silver one to undo the lock- you'll have to remember that.

She pushes the door, and it swings open quietly. It's quiet: good. No creaking if you were
going to escape. When, dumbass. Not if. When you're going to escape. "Hands," she instructs,
holding out the cuffs.

"What, don't think you can take me?" you taunt.

"Hands," Traute repeats, unamused.

Kenny waves the gun threateningly, and with a sigh, you hold your wrists out in front of you.
The blonde woman snaps the handcuffs over your wrists, and you immediately start glaring at
the lock. You feel like you've had to get out of these before- how bad could it be? What
would you need? Damn, your lockpicking tools would be good right about now...

"Up," she says.

You ignore her.

Traute seizes your hair and tugs. You grit your teeth as you stand, silent curses sitting on your
tongue. Kenny's still got his gun aimed at you and oh, you think punching Traute straight in
the teeth would be worth the bullet in the foot. But he's right- if you want to escape, you need
both feet working.

She tugs you out of the cell and you lurch forwards, the ground cold beneath your bare feet.
Now that she's got a hand free, Traute reaches for her own gun, and you feel it press into the
small of your back.

"Ow," you complain, rolling your eyes.

"Move," Traute orders.

With Traute pushing your back, you head down the hallway away from the stairs. One left
turn, and you're faced with a wooden door. When she nudges you again, you open it with a
sigh, shoving the door until it hits the far wall.

It's just a small room with plain walls and no windows, but what's inside makes your stomach
lurch. There's one metal bench with a strap around the middle- looks like whoever's on it is
supposed to lay down?- and a small table with a lantern on it for light. The worst thing is
easily the grey cart: there's an assortment of small silver tools on there, all of which look
stupidly pointy.

Yeah. You should've just taken your chances with Kenny and let the fucker shoot you.

You let your eyes flutter shut. You need a plan, and you need it fast, because you do have
crucial information. Levi went over strategy with everyone, as he tends to do, but he told you
of the back up spot in case anything goes wrong. It's an old, broken down barn that's
completely abandoned. That's where everyone is supposed to go if things go wrong.

Levi told you that in case you needed to help round people up. He'd anticipated some sort of
attack. He hadn't anticipated you being kidnapped.

That's probably where they are. You can't give that place up.

"On your stomach," Traute says, pushing the gun barrel into your back. "On the bench."

Gritting your teeth, you stumble forwards. You glare hard at the bench (like that'll actually
help you at all), then lower yourself down, letting your hands dangle over the edge as your
stomach rests against the metal. You feel Traute's hands around your back as she clips the
strap in behind you and tightens it painfully against your lower back.

"I'll leave ya to it, then," you hear Kenny call from behind you. "Don't have too much fun."

"Hey, Kenny," you say, wishing you could twist around and glare at him.

"What?"

"You're a shitty excuse for a parental figure," you snap, clenching your locked hands into
fists. "And that's coming from me."

Kenny snorts. "Nothing I don't already know, sweetheart."

There's a slam as the door shuts, and you let your head fall down against the bench. The cool
metal presses into your cheek. It could be worse, right? Levi and Hange tortured someone
last week- you weren't present for it, but you know that they had him sitting up and
fingernails were involved. If she wanted to take your nails off, she wouldn't position you like
this, right?

"Gonna give me a massage?" you ask dryly.

Something sharp presses into the small of your back and you tense up, teeth locking.
"Something like that," Traute replies, her voice nonchalant. "Where's the rest of the Survey
Corps?"

You exhale slowly, forcing yourself to calm down. "I don't know."

"I don't believe that."

"Well, that's your problem, then."

The small point moves upwards, but it's not digging into you- it's cutting up the back of your
shirt. "You've got a sharp tongue," Traute muses, apparently unaffected by your digs.
"Wonder how confident you would be if I cut it out."

Your mouth suddenly feels painfully dry.

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

You can feel the tiny hairs on your back rise as Traute pulls the torn fabric away, revealing
your bare skin to her. You hate this, hate this with a passion: your hands are bound, you're
tied to a table, and she's got a gun. You're hopelessly outmatched and entirely helpless.

The tip of something sharp presses into one of the bones of your spine and you inhale
sharply. "Where," Traute says, "are the Survey Corps?"

Through gritted teeth, you muster out, "I don't know."

The blade drags across your back, and you sink your teeth hard into your lip to keep from
yelling out. "I'll try again," she continues. "Where are the Survey Corps?"

"No fucking clue," you choke out, hands clenching tight into fists.

Instead of tracing up your spine, the blade jerks sideways and slides across your shoulder
blade. This time, you can't contain yourself, and you yelp. "Shame," Traute says, not
sounding sorry about that at all. "For you, at least."

The blade leaves your back and you shudder in relief, but the relief is short lived. Whatever
tool she's using touches your back again, going back to your spine.

"All of you Survey Corps. Blindly loyal, fighting for a future outside the walls that doesn't
exist." She pushes the point of the blade in and you squeeze your eyes shut. "You're lucky.
Dying here instead of in a titan's mouth."

"I'd rather the titan," you force out.

The blade runs sideways again, this time across the back of your ribs, and you wince.
"Figures," Traute says casually. "Don't worry. I'll get you to talk- I always do."

You wish you could glare at her. You want to scream, grab one of those tools from her stupid
cart, and sink it straight into her eye. You want to shoot her, and Kenny, and every other
fucking military police officer in this building. Then, you want to find your stupid fucking
father and kill him too- and that damn doctor for good measure.

Then, you blink. Your eyes are damp.

You want to see Levi. You want to find your friends, you want to bicker with Eren and Jean
one more time, talk with Armin, share food with Sasha, train with Mikasa. You want to make
fun of Connie and listen to Historia talk. You want to see Erwin and listen to another one of
his stupid motivational speeches; you want to see Hange and hell, you'll even listen to them
rant about titans for hours on end.

You want to hold Levi- no, you want him to hold you. To kiss you and tell you everything's
going to be okay. To love you.

You chuckle dryly. You should've told him you loved him when you had the chance.
"Here comes the hysteria." Traute's voice makes it feel like someone took a cheese grater to
your ears. "Well, you Survey Corps always wear those wings," she says, and you feel
something dig into your back again. "If you won't talk, I'll give you your very own set."

Stupidly, you laugh.

"Alright then."

You let your head fall, eyes fluttering shut. You wish that there was a window so you could
see the sky- if the stars were out, you could tell the stars you loved Levi, and maybe they'd let
him know.

Ha- funny. There's little stars clouding your vision.

I love you, Levi, you think deliriously as your captor slices into your back.

No one replies.

Traute carves away.

He made the wrong choice.

He should've followed you. He should've gone after you. He was in no better state than
Mikasa, who was straining against him to get to Eren, to try and pursue. He wanted to, more
than he's ever wanted anything in his life. Who knows- with Mikasa, maybe they could.
Maybe they could've caught up and slaughtered the people who kidnapped you.

Well, now he'll never know.

Levi stares into the center of the fire, heat dancing across his exposed skin. Where would
they be keeping you? Think. What would Kenny be up to, now that he's in the military
police? Forget how he got into the military, that's not the point anymore. Where would you
be?

"Captain?"

He hears it. He hears Connie calling him, but he can't bring himself to focus on him.

He should've gone after you. He should've attacked Kenny when he had the chance- you're
tough, you can take a bullet. Right? You could've. And then he could've gotten to you, and
you'd be safe here, in his arms, not god knows where-

And who knows what they're doing to you? Torturing you for information on the scouts?
Logically, he knows that if they kidnapped you, they're not going to kill you. You're too
valuable to them. Are you?

"...Captain Levi?"
Levi looks up.

All of the kids are staring at him. Something in Levi's chest tightens; these are just kids. A
bunch of fifteen year old kids who have seen more in the past few months than most see in
their lifetime. And he knows exactly what you'd be saying if you were here: he's got a job to
do.

Connie glances sideways at Sasha, then back at him. "Do you think she's going to be okay?"
he asks, his voice small.

That's the fucking question, isn't it?

"I don't know," Levi replies honestly, eyes flickering down to the fire.

Mikasa's the one to speak up next. "Does she know about this place?"

He knows what she's getting at. Everyone's thinking along the same lines: you're being
tortured for information on the whereabouts of the Survey Corps. If you know about this
place, then they've got to move so that the military don't hunt them down.

"She does," Levi says.

He can feel the way the atmosphere shifts; the way the dread settles in. "So should we..."
Armin trails off, the logical decision dying on his tongue.

Levi knows: they should go.

But if you escape, it's the place you'll know to go to in order to get back to them. If he moves
everyone, then you'll have no idea, and you'll be stranded with no one to go. Any of the
Survey Corps are enemy number one right now; there's nowhere else you'd be safe.

When. Not if. When you escape.

"No."

"No?" Connie asks. "But-"

"You've got no faith in her?" Levi snaps. Immediately, the kid backs down. He sighs, willing
himself to calm down. "Logan told you that it was her father who attacked her back on the
day that you left for the Wall Rose settlement," he says instead.

As he expected, there's almost no reaction. If anything, a few shoulders sink; he must've

confirmed some rumors.

"The MPs kidnapped her on orders for her father," Levi says, and even though he doesn't
know for sure, he needs this to be true in order to keep himself sane and focused for the time
being. "He's part of a cult that's convinced she needs to be killed and have her blood water his
fucking crops."
Would you mind him saying this? Probably not. Besides, he needs to convince these kids of
what he's trying to convince himself. Several eyes widen, and Sasha whispers, "really?"

"So she won't be killed, not until he's managed to drag her back to their village," he remarks,
leaning forwards. "And she'll find a way to escape before then. So we're holding out here
until she gets back."

"How long?" Jean interjects.

There's a painful silence that follows. Levi wants nothing more than to give him an answer. "I
wish I could tell you," he settles on. "But we're not going to sit back and do nothing. There's
shit we can do in the meantime to try and find Eren and Historia."

He sees Mikasa nod in approval and sit back, satisfied. Levi scans the rest of the group, and
he's relieved to see that most of them look a bit better. Still agitated, still concerned, but a bit
less panic.

"I- I'm sure it won't be long," Sasha says optimistically. "She's smart. Remember that one
time she picked the lock so we could get into the kitchen and borrow food?"

"Borrowing implies that you gave it back, Sasha," Armin says, but the corner of his mouth
twitches.

"She beat up everyone in our class," Jean adds, straightening himself up. Levi can see the
strained optimism in his eyes. "And- and she's..." he trails off. "Yeah, she's smart. She'll be
okay."

These fucking kids. The influence you have on them, the time you've spent with them. No
wonder you're always going out of your way to make sure they're okay.

"Remember when she redid that ODM gear course even though Instructor Shadis told her not
to?" Armin reminisces, smiling softly. "She tore through the whole course without batting an
eye."

Levi remembers. He knows because you said that you did it for him, so that Shadis wouldn't
look down on him.

He's barely there when he hears Connie add, "remember how she threatened to fight the
military police dude? Because he was being a dick?"

"I don't think that's how it went, Connie," Sasha is saying, but the damage is already done.
Levi knows the moment, because it's the time that he offered to fight you instead so that he
could set you up for all the maneuvers that he knew you would nail, so that he could prove to
those stupid MPs that you were a force to be reckoned with-

Fuck, he can't do this.

Levi stands up, not giving any words of explanation as he storms away. He leaves without
looking back, wishing he could break something or scream or do literally fucking anything to
get rid of the anxiety that's going to swallow him whole. He looks up briefly but has to
 anchor his gaze back to the ground- fuck, he can't even look at the sky without thinking of
you.

You said you'd come back to him. That you always would. You promised.

You fucking promised.

Levi runs his hand through his hair, tugging hard on the strands and not even feeling any sort
of pain in his scalp. It's like he's numb. He raises his arm, fully intent on punching a tree, but
withdraws at the last minute. Hurting himself by doing stupid shit isn't going to solve
anything.

He drops to the ground instead, limp in the grass.

"You said you'd come back," Levi finds himself saying, chin tilted up to glare at the stars. "So
fucking come back."

No answer.

"Now," he demands.

He almost speaks again, but he can feel a crack in his voice coming on, so he doesn't. Levi
glares at the twinkling stars; they ought to be covered in clouds. It's stupid that they're out
right now, out when you're not with him to see them.

Oh, god damn it. He can't do this without you.

He's not sure how long he stays out there, but eventually, Levi stands up again. Then, he turns
around, heading back to the barn, footsteps heavy but heart even more so.

Chapter End Notes

Next week's chapter will be early, on Thursday morning EST instead of Friday morning-
I'm leaving on a road trip Thursday night and internet connection will not be happening
lol. Don't worry, I'll have the chapter ready to go by then!

Also: I'm in tears. Thank you so much for 2,000 kudos. It feels like it hasn't even been
that long since we hit 1k. I can't believe it, you guys are unreal. I love you all so fricking
much.

You guys are amazing- don't know what I'd do without you. I love you guys. You have
my whole heart. <3
 3-4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

It comes to you in a dream.

Cursing, hands pushing at the bloody cut in vain. Crimson seeping between your fingers. A
beautiful woman, dying at your feet. You can't picture her face, but you know she's beautiful.
She has to be.

Running. Slipping in a puddle, scraping your knees. Getting up again and running some
more. Knife clutched in your shaky, blood-soaked hands.

And then you hear voices.

"Kenny Ackerman- folks know him as Kenny the Ripper. Hefty price, but he's worth it. Always
gets the job done."

"Kenny Ackerman."

The name feels like poison on your tongue.

"I'll kill him."

When you wake up, metal is digging into your cheek and your fingers are lightly brushing the
dirty floor. You're still on that damn bench, strapped in. There's blood drops littering the
ground from where your cuts have dripped down from your back and rolled off your sides.

Traute comes in who knows how much later. "Ready to talk?" she asks.

And the process repeats.

This time, you scream.

Passed out once again, you dream of Levi.

But it's not a dream, it's a memory. And it's one that you recognize: one of the first times you
sat up on a rooftop with Levi. Hange had told you that Levi wanted to talk to you, and he
arrived under the premise you wanted to talk to him. Then, you two had bitched at each other
for a bit before calming down and Levi finally telling you a bit about yourself.

This memory is sparring-related. Wrestling on the roof, Levi nearly throwing you off the
edge before he grabbed you in time. "You were going to throw me off the roof," you'd said in
indignation.
"You need better training," had been his reply. "You're going to get yourself killed."

Your response had been fueled by annoyance. "Well, I hardly think I'm going to be fighting
anyone on rooftops any time soon."

Ah. The irony in that, hm?

You want to live in this moment. Ironic, honestly, how you used to count down the days until
training was over and now you long to relive those days. To take those moments you had
with Levi and cherish them just a little bit more, sit in them just a little bit longer, study him
in the moonlight and hold his hand under the stars.

You wake up with tears in your eyes.

Levi wants to leave.

He wants to ditch his squad. He wants to leave them in this damn barn to fend for themselves
and go after you, find wherever they're keeping you and where they're undoubtedly torturing
you. He wants to kill everyone in his way, including that good-for-nothing bastard that raised
him.

He wants you. Fucking hell, he needs you- he's going insane without you.

Levi knows it's illogical. They're wanted, he's got no clues to your whereabouts, and it's
likely that he'd make the entire situation more complicated by trying to locate you. What if he
goes after you and you've already escaped? Then it's just pointless. But what if you need his
help?

He needs to trust you. He really does. And he desperately wants to.

"Fuck," Levi mumbles into his hands.

He can't do this. He can't.

If you're dead...

Levi squeezes his eyes shut and presses the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. He needs
to trust you. He needs to put the mission first. He knows he does. But Isabel and Farlan died
because he trusted them, because he put the mission first-

There's a crunch of leaves.

Levi spins, blade out, heart racing in his chest. He wants it to be you, so much so that when
he sees it's Armin, he's visibly disappointed. The blond boy smiles weakly at him. "I'm
coming to take over for patrol," he murmurs.

Levi looks away. "Don't bother. I'll stay out."

Armin shifts nervously, like he's got something he wants to say and is just gathering the
courage to say it. Levi raises an eyebrow at him, encouraging him to do so. "Captain," Armin
says slowly, "you haven't slept since we- since we got back. You really should."

He's quiet for a moment, then says, "go back to the barn, Arlert. Sleep while you can. Jean
can take the next patrol."

"Captain." Armin clears his throat. "It's been a day and a half. I'm sure she's just trying to
make her way to us."

Levi squeezes his eyes shut, then reopens. You were right; this kid is too perceptive for his
own good.

"Thirty seven hours."

"Pardon?"

"It's been thirty seven hours," Levi repeats, turning to Armin. "What're her odds now, Armin?
I don't need a genius to tell me they get worse with every hour."

The blond doesn't answer him. Instead, he says, "I'll send out Jean to take over for you in an
hour."

He leaves.

Levi sighs.

"Stupid," he grumbles, but he's not quite sure who he's talking to.

His words are lost in the quiet of the trees.

Erwin told you once that calling something a gamble implied that there was something he
was willing to lose.

Well, you're thinking of gambling. You've got information that they want: the location of
where you think the Survey Corps are, where Levi would've taken the scouts in refuge.
Unless he's left already, in which case the information would be useless to the MPs and you
could give it up. Maybe spare yourself some pain.

So, do you have something to lose? Would Levi have moved everyone already, knowing that
you know what you do? Or would he keep them there so that you know where to find them if
you escape? Is that a gamble you can take?

You wonder what Erwin's up to right now.

Hopefully, he's better off than you are. Hopefully, he's not laying down on his stomach on the
dirty ground of an underground cell of some sort. Hopefully, his back isn't cut up beyond
belief. Hopefully, he's somewhat coherent.
Because you're most definitely not.

You can't even sit up. Sitting up without leaning on something isn't an option, and leaning
with your back to something is much too painful. You wish you could see what Traute did,
but at the same time, you're glad you can't.

She said she was going to give you wings.

Wings would be nice. Wings would mean you could fly, fly far away from this place. Fly to
Levi.

God, do you miss Levi. You miss his touch, the softness of his eyes when it's just the two of
you, the way he communicates with his actions instead of his words, or the few words he
does use that never fail to make you melt. Is he okay? Of course he is. Right?

He's safe. He's with your friends at the designated hiding place- a location that you haven't
given up.

A ripple of satisfaction flows through you. Traute hasn't broken you yet: you still have the
information she needs.

"Wow. Humanity's Strongest Woman, reduced to a bloody mess."

You tip your head up, rotating so you're propped up slightly on your side. "S'that what they're
calling me?" you slur, grinning lopsidedly. "Nice."

Duran, your ever-dutiful guard, snorts. "Not such a hot shot now, are you?"

You summon every last bit of energy in your body and force out, "if this is the only way you
think you can handle me in a fight, I hate to break it to you, but I could still beat your ass."

Hell, maybe you could. Your back is a mess, sure, and your thigh still stings from the bullet
wound, but you could walk decently. Probably. Well, there's still a considerable bit of pain
with every step, but the back pain is dulling with every passing hour.

Duran clicks his tongue. "They ought to cut out your tongue."

"Aw, how would I lick your boots then?" you say mockingly. "That's what you want, right?
Little lapdogs to sing your... sing your praises and lick your-"

"Shut up," he snaps.

You grin to yourself. Another victory for you. Anytime he tells you to shut up, you count it as
a victory in your books.

Duran doesn't say anything else, so you let your head tip back down against the disgusting
floor. The dirt and cold ground press into your cheek, and you dismiss the urge to wipe it off-
that would take too much energy. Not for Levi, though. He'd be scrubbing at every inch of
this cell.
The thought makes you smile, as it tends to do. Levi. How nice it would be to see him, to
hold him, to feel his hair between your fingers and his hands on your waist.

"Get her up."

"I'm good here," you say without opening your eyes.

You hear the telltale sound of the key in the lock of your cell door and you crack an eye open.
You should definitely be more on top of this, keeping track of who's coming and going, what
time it is- damn, you have no idea how long's past- and who's got the key.

Someone grabs your hair and yanks. "C'mon, sweetheart," you hear Kenny say. "You can't be
done already."

"Very done," you reply sarcastically. "In dire need of a good nap."

"You've been sleepin' for a damn long time."

"Passed out from pain really isn't the same thing."

"Duran," Kenny orders, and you see an exchange- your key. He's giving Duran your key.
"Guard the door. Traute and I are taking care of this."

You laugh deliriously. "Round three?"

After Traute had sliced you up the first time, eventually, she'd knocked you out and left.
You'd stayed there, passed out, tied to the table, blood running down your back and dripping
down your sides. You had woken up again to more slices being taken out of your back, and
this time, you'd screamed. It had been much more painful.

After that, she'd dumped you back in your cell and you'd faded in and out of consciousness.
No way of telling the time, no way of knowing when she'd be back. The guards changed
sporadically, sometimes Duran and sometimes other people that you didn't know. It was all a
blur to you, something that you knew you should pay attention to, but you were finding
yourself unable to.

You're just so tired. So goddamn tired.

Fuck. Maybe you can put up with the pain for a bit longer. You think about that gamble
again- would Levi and the rest of the crew still be at that barn or have you bought them
enough time to escape? Can you finally give in, spilling what you know just so they'll
fucking stop and you don't have to feel this anymore?

You miss Levi.

"Round three," Kenny agrees, shoving you forwards. You wince, his hands painfully burning
your back as he shoves you. You follow the same route you did before, down the hallway and
turning left to take you to a door.
Duran opens it for you, and bile rises in your throat when you see Traute's already inside.
Could you run? Kenny's behind you- elbow straight back, loop your handcuffs around
Duran's neck to strangle him... maybe you could-

"Don't even bother," Kenny gloats, like he already knows what you're thinking. He smacks
your back and you cry out. "You're so ill-equipped here that it's kinda sad, sweetheart.
Handcuffed, injured, and three on one."

"I'll take my chances," you mutter, eyeing that stupid tray of torture tools warily.

He shoves you again and you wince as you stumble forwards. Traute grabs you as soon as
you're close enough and pulls you down to the metal bench; your head hits it with a painful
smack and a low groan rips itself from your throat.

You hear a door slam shut. That stupid strap wraps around your waist, pinning you down and
locking you to the table.

You don't want to do this. You can't do this anymore.

Kenny, for the first time, is sitting in on your torture session. Is he jumping in on this now
too? Getting his hands dirty? "Wow, I must be special," you croak out. "You're sitting in."

"Kinda want to see Traute's handiwork for myself," he replies, and you hear him walk closer
to your bench. "Been a while since she got to handle this. Might have to go back to the good
old fashioned stuff."

Good old fashioned stuff... meaning fingernail pulling. Fuck. Your stomach churns painfully;
you need a way out of this.

Wait. The cart's closer today than it was yesterday.

You feel Traute peel away the back of your shredded shirt- however long ago that was. Time
feels painfully abstract. That cart is right there, piled with torture tools. That stupid waist
strap is holding you down, so you can't really just... reach and grab anything.

Unless you move the bench.

"She won't even need the cloak anymore," Kenny's saying, laughing as he continues, "you've
got that emblem down perfectly!" but you've already tuned him out. There's tools on that cart,
tools that maybe you can use as a weapon- maybe something you can hide in your sleeve.
Something you can use when you have the element of surprise.

The tiny flame of hope in your chest that you've been struggling to keep alive suddenly flares
up. You can make an opportunity here.

"Artwork," Traute says casually, and you sink your teeth into your lip. How badly has your
back been mauled? "Should we try the nails?"

Not the nails. Definitely not the nails. "No," you mumble out, unable to stop yourself.
There's a laugh from Kenny, and he squats down near your face, grinning at you. "See,
Traute, if we had just gone with this yesterday, we'd have our info!" he says gleefully. Your
stomach drops when you see he's holding a set of pliers. "But you had to have your fun."

"I thought she'd crack," Traute says defensively.

Kenny's no longer listening. He's grabbed one of your wrists and is settling the pliers at the
fingernail of your pinky. Panic is seizing your brain, and you're trying desperately to come up
with a plan and come up with it fast. Shit, shit-

Kenny starts to pull and you blurt out, "the woods."

He pauses, and you squash the sigh of relief that threatens to emerge from your lungs.
"Where?"

You exhale shakily, coming up with a plan as you go. "Cabin," you manage, thinking of one
of the first places you stayed. You can't remember being chased out of that one, so maybe it's
a safe bet for a wild goose chase. "It's- it's a tiny cabin west of one of the villages. Limberly
Village."

There's a pause. Kenny glances up, most likely looking to Traute, and you hear her say, "we
haven't explored out that way."

Shit, this might actually work.

"That could've saved us a whole lotta trouble," Kenny says softly. "Fingernails. That was all
it took?"

You muster up the hardest glare you possibly can, and with a sharp inhale, you throw yourself
sideways.

It works. Kenny isn't expecting it and he doesn't react fast enough. You fall onto your side,
tipping the bench with you, and the wind is knocked out of you. You rotate onto your back-
immediately, you regret it. Your skin screams at you, and the bench rotates with you onto
your stomach. That 'stupid strap' is what's keeping the bench on top of you, protecting you.

You punch your hands behind your head and by some miracle, you shove Kenny backwards.
You shove the bench at Traute and she goes stumbling. Heart racing, you roll and knock the
bench into the cart next; it tips over.

You fall completely on your side, the bench between you and the fallen tools. Your hands
rummage for something, anything-

"Bitch!" you hear Traute snarl.

Your fingers close around something, some sort of tool, and you frantically shove it down
your sleeve, attempting to conceal it.

There's a blow to your eye and you groan, head collapsing to the ground. Kenny's next to
you, still on the ground but focused on you. His fist is reared back and there's a maniacal
gleam in his eyes- he punched you. Hard.

"I'm almost impressed, sweetheart," Kenny says, and he starts to push himself to his feet. You
feel the silver tool fall into your sleeve and you wait with baited breath, praying they don't
notice it. "Smart. Givin' us the info we need and then striking."

He hasn't noticed. Neither has Traute. Shit, are you actually going to get away with this?

"Can't believe she's still got fight in her," you hear Traute muse. "Thought we got her."

"Yeah. You're Levi's girl, through and through," Kenny taunts, and as he stands, he kicks you
in the head. You wince, curling in on yourself as best as you can with the bench hugging your
front. "Traute, cut her loose. We've got a lead to chase."

"If you're lying to us," Traute says calmly, undoing the strap around your stomach, "it'll be
worse than just fingernails."

The bench falls away, and you pull your locked wrists around it, trying to wrestle yourself
free. As soon as you're separated, Traute grabs you by the hair and yanks you upwards. You
hiss in pain, wondering if your moment is now: can you stab her with whatever you've got
tucked in your sleeve, catch her off guard- then take on Kenny- no, Duran's just outside the
door. You don't even know if you'll be able to hold yourself up, everything hurts...

There's a blow to your back and you cry out. God fucking damn, that hurts.

"Move," Kenny instructs, and you lurch forwards. Traute tugs the door open, and Duran's
waiting behind it, arms crossed. "Duran, lock her in."

You're handed off to Duran and he shoves you down the hall. The only thing keeping you
sane at this point is the cold metal pressed to your wrist, concealed by your sleeve. You have
a weapon. You have an advantage.

Duran shoves you into your cell and you stumble, bracing yourself on your arms as you fall.
You spin back towards the cell door, but he's already locking it.

"And so you don't get any funny ideas," Kenny says, taking the key from Duran, "I'm
hanging onto this."

The key drops into his pocket. Your heart squeezes.

"Because if you're sending us on a goose chase, girl," he warns, hand falling to the gun on his
hip, "we're going to take off worse than just fingernails."

Then you'll just need to get out of here before they get back.

But Kenny's taking the fucking key. Is there a spare?

Your heart is racing, but you force yourself to slump down against the ground, faking a
wince. "Fuck you," you mutter hoarsely, wondering if you're putting on enough of a show.
"Yeah, yeah." Kenny glances to Traute, who's rubbing her shin from where you hit her with
the bench. "Get everyone mobilized." Traute nods, walking behind him to head towards the
stairs. Kenny looks to Duran next. "You're staying. I'm sending him down, give him a few
minutes and then kick him back upstairs again. Show him what's going to happen if he won't
pay, because she's about outlived her usefulness to us."

Him? Who's him?

"Yes, sir," Duran says, nodding.

Kenny nods and looks back to you, then tips his hat at you. "I'll tell Levi that you say hi,
sweetheart," he says with a smirk. "I'm sure he'll be pleased to know you're not dead."

You shoot him your darkest glare. "You'll never catch him."

"We'll see, sweetheart. We'll see."

And then Kenny's gone, leaving just Duran in front of your cell.

He smirks at you. "Guess you couldn't hold out as long as you thought you could. Not so
tough now, eh?"

"Who's him?" you croak out, shifting yourself up so that you're laying on your side.

"That dude who hired us to nab you." Ah. Your father. Fun. There's the slam of a door and
some commotion, and then heavy footsteps on the way down. Duran snarks, "you've got two
minutes and then I'm sending you back up."

Stumbling into view is your father, and he looks awful. His hair looks disgusting, like he
hasn't washed it in days, and his eyes are painfully bloodshot. Your heart pangs in your chest
and you nearly laugh: he's losing sleep over you but not because he cares, but because he
wants to kill you and your blood is precious or whatever. Wow. Fucking father of the year.

His gaze falls to you and you give him a sarcastic two finger wave.

"What did they do to you?" Willem whispers, hands grabbing at the bars of your cell. You
scoot away from him. "How dare they? What have they-"

You rotate so that he can see your back, and you think the man actually sobs. "How bad is
it?" you ask nonchalantly, studying his face. "I haven't got the chance to see it yet."

"The blood, your blood-"

"Oh, get over yourself." You scoff, tipping your head to glare at the floor. "You don't even
need my blood."

Willem reaches between the bars, like he's trying to reach for you, but you're too far away
and there's no way in hell you're going closer. Duran's watching the whole thing through
hooded eyes. "I have given up so much for you," Willem spits, eyes alight with fury, "you
ungrateful-"
"Ungrateful?" you say in surprise. "I'm ungrateful because I don't want you to kill me for no
good reason?"

"No good reason? Do you not understand what's at stake-"

"You don't need me!" you snap with all of the energy you can muster up. "It's because you're
burying that damned fruit in your stupid fucking garden!"

There's a pause. Willem's mouth is open, but no sound is coming out. He clutches desperately
at the bars, nails scraping at the rust. You raise an eyebrow, waiting for the information to
sink in. Will that stop him from pursuing you? It'd be foolish to think so. But maybe it'll deter
him?

Eventually, Willem finally croaks out, "only one way to know for sure."

"Oh, fucking hell," you snarl, pushing yourself up to your hands and knees. The tool nearly
falls out of your sleeve- shit, you forgot it was there- and you barely manage to angle
yourself in time so that it doesn't fall out. "You're psychotic and you don't need to kill me.
Fuck off."

"Daughter-"

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Time's up," Duran says, and for the first time, you're actually grateful for the stupid MP. "If
we don't get our money, she's going to look a whole lot worse."

"No," Willem protests. The MP grabs him and he tries to shake him off, but Duran's a head
taller than him and a hell of a lot stronger. "That wasn't two minutes!" he insists, struggling
against Duran's hold as the MP pulls him away. "No- daughter! I'll get you, you hear? I'll get
you!"

"Fuck you too," you call back.

As soon as Duran is out of sight, dragging Willem away, your attention goes back to the
metal took concealed in your sleeve. Something's been poking into your arm, and your heart
jumps in your throat as you dump it into your lap. Please be a scalpel, or anything I can use
as a weapon-

It's... nothing. It's a tiny tool with a hooked end.

That tiny flame of hope goes out. What are you supposed to do, poke someone to death? You
needed a knife, you needed...

Your throat goes dry.

It looks like one of your lockpicking tools.

Footsteps echo back down the stairs and you jam the tool back up your sleeve, hiding it. Your
heart feels like it's going a million miles an hour. This is even better than a scalpel or
anything you could use as a weapon: this could get you out of here.

"He's a douchebag," Duran says when he comes back into view. "I see where you get it
from."

"Takes one to know one," you retort.

"Right. Says the one cursing every other sentence."

"Aw, mommy didn't let you swear?"

His gaze darkens. "My mother's dead," he snaps.

You raise an eyebrow. "You expect me to be sympathetic? My mother was killed by that
psychopath you call a boss."

Duran's mouth opens, then closes. He's got no response.

Huffing, you take the opportunity to turn yourself around so that your back's to Duran and
lean against the side wall. Excitedly, you pull out the tiny tool again. It's perfect for
lockpicking, but you remember having two tools. For the lock on the outside of the cell,
you're probably going to need two. For your handcuffs...

Carefully, you angle the hook down into the lock. How the hell are you supposed to do this
again?

With a sigh, you let your eyes flutter shut. You press yourself up against the wall (just in case
Duran is watching you) and start fidgeting with the lock, letting yourself go into autopilot.
You have absolutely no idea where to even begin, so you let your hands move on their own
accord. Can this even be done with only one tool?

There's a tiny click, and the handcuffs unlock.

Seriously? You got it?

You bite your tongue to hold in your triumph. You got the lock open. You glance behind you,
and Duran's got his head tipped to the side, glaring at the door. You turn back to the back
wall, pretending to lean against the wall and rest.

Step one done. You've got free hands.

Step two- pick the cell door lock. To do that, you're going to need something else that can
function as a lockpick, like some sort of wire. And you're going to need to take out Duran.
Maybe Duran's got something on him that could work? There's no point in trying to attack
Duran if you can't even get out of your cell. You've got to escape first.

Wire. Where could you get...

The tool. You could break it, try and use the other side of it. It's thin enough.
Frowning, you try bending it, and it gives. Grinning to yourself, you start bending the tool
back and forth across the middle of it. It reminds you of one of those paper clips that they'd
use to hold sheets together back in training, but the metal is a fair bit stronger. You'd tried
snapping those paper clips just for fun. Now... it's going to take a bit more effort.

Back and forth, back and forth. You bend the tool repeatedly, trying to wear it down.

Your heart is in your throat. This is it- this is your chance. The main squad of MPs is gone, on
a wild goose chase in the wrong direction. There's going to be minimal guards. You've got
something you can use to get yourself out of here.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

You wonder what Levi's doing right now. Are they searching for Eren and Historia? There's
no way Mikasa would rest, knowing they're out there. Would they come looking for you?

Back and forth, back and...

You pause your bending. What if they're not there? What if they moved because they knew
you'd been captured and thought you would spill their location?

Back and forth.

No. Levi wouldn't do that. He knows it's the only safe place you can go, considering the
circumstances, and he trusts you.

He'll be there. He'll-

Snap.

You blink.

The tool broke. It actually did. You've got your hooked piece and now you've got the broken-
off piece too, which will work perfectly.

"What was that?"

Duran. Fuck.

You debate many possible answers, then decide to go with honesty. "Trying to get out of my
damn handcuffs," you reply.

Okay. Partial lie. You're already out of them.

You hear Duran snort in laughter. "You damn Survey Corps. You never give up, do you?"

"Better than sitting on my lazy ass all day."

The stool screeches across the basement ground. "That's it. When they get back, I'm
petitioning to cut out your tongue," Duran grumbles, and you twist your head to look at him.
He's pulled a switchblade out of his pocket and is twirling it aimlessly between his fingers.

And now a weapon. Perfect. Fate is truly on your side for once.

"Why don't you do it now?" you taunt lightly. You tuck the broken tool parts back up your
sleeve and let the handcuffs hang loosely from your wrists, pushing them up so that they look
like they're closed. They're still unlocked, and you'll be able to shake them off in a moment's
notice. You spin around, shifting up onto your knees and shuffling awkwardly towards the
cell bars. "C'mon, Duran."

"You're locked in a fucking cell, dumbass."

"And I'm injured, beaten..." you trail off, moving so that you're right up next to the cell bars.
"Damn. If you can't handle me now, then that's just sad."

Duran's eyes flash. "You're asking for it."

You stick your tongue out at him, grinning. "Wow. Won't even take on an injured girl in a
locked cell. This is the best that the military police has to offer-"

The stool tips over as Duran angrily stands up, marching up to the cell bars. He reaches
forwards, grabbing the front of your shirt. The shirt's not hanging on by much, considering
Traute tore up the backside of it so that she could mangle your back. "You shut your damn
mouth," Duran demands.

You grin, sticking out your tongue again. "No."

He holds up the knife, and you strike.

You reach one hand outside of the cell bars, seizing Duran's collar. The handcuffs clatter
uselessly into your lap. Duran doesn't even have time to look surprised; you tug as hard as
you can, and he lurches forward. His head smacks off of the cell bars with a painful thunk,
and the man slumps to the ground.

"Fuck you," you whisper to the now-unconscious guard.

You did it. You got him.

You've got no time to waste. There's a chance that someone heard that, and they could be
down these stairs any second. You take your handcuffs and hook one side around Duran's
wrist and the other against the nearest cell bar, locking them. He won't be coming after you
any time soon.

Fumbling with your makeshift lockpicking tools, you shuffle down to where the lock is on
your cell door and stand up, reaching through the bars to set yourself up. You can't see the
lock, but you almost prefer it that way; it's easier when you don't lock.

Twenty painful seconds of fidgeting, and the lock clicks. You shove the door, and it swings
open.
"No fucking shit," you whisper in relief. You did it.

You step out of the cell, and you immediately feel woozy. You use the wall for balance as you
stumble towards Duran, grabbing his switchblade. He doesn't have a gun on him- guess the
knife will have to do. Exhaling shakily, you step over him and towards the stairs, knife in one
hand and the lockpicks in the other. You're not sure if there's going to be other locked doors.

Everything hurts. Your legs feel okay- you can't even feel the bullet wound on your leg
anymore- but your back aches with every step, every shift. Your eye hurts too, from where
Kenny punched you; when you tap the skin, you wince.

Right now, you feel more dizzy than anything. How much blood have you lost? Are the cuts
on your back healed up? How long has it been?

Shit- how long have you been down here?

No time to think about it. You need to get to Levi.

The door's unlocked, and you push it open, eyes narrowed as you take in the surroundings.
It's a mostly empty room, just a table and a few chairs. No other people- good. Hopefully
Kenny and Traute took everyone with them.

"Which way?" you mumble to yourself, looking between two doors.

Left. Why not.

You crack the door open, and upon seeing that there's no one there, you start heading down
the hallway. You run over your itinerary of things you need to do so that you can successfully
escape: you need to figure out where you are, find a way out of here, grab a horse, and escape
to where you're sure Levi still is.

Okay. That, you can do.

A window comes up and you peek outside. There's plenty of buildings in the way. Scowling,
you keep heading down the hall until you see stairs- maybe a bit of height will help you
figure out where you are.

You stumble up the stairs, staggering as your head spins. You have to crawl up on your hands
and knees as you get to the top, and when you spy a window, you drag yourself back up to
your feet.

The height helps. You can see a wall in the distance- looks like Wall Sheena. Good, that
means you're still in Wall Rose. The town you're in seems to go on for ages; it's a large
district. It's dark outside, lit only by lanterns and house lights.

"How long have I been here?" you whisper to yourself. You've got no perception of how
much time has passed.

Okay. Grab a horse, get out, head south. You'd sent Kenny and his men west. Hopefully,
that'll buy you all the time you need.
Swallowing hard, you head back to the stairs and start heading down, which is thankfully
much easier than heading up. Where would the MPs keep their horses? Frowning, you take a
corner, keeping a hand on the wall to guide yourself.

"Who's there?"

You freeze immediately.

Footsteps echo from the hallway in front of you and you ready your grip on Duran's
switchblade. The voice sounded feminine and the footsteps sound light- if you were in better
condition, you might be able to take them on. Maybe you still can? Doubtful. The hallway
keeps spinning and you feel painfully weak.

"Loren," the voice says, and you tighten your grip as they get closer, "I already gave you the
medication you need-"

They turn the corner. It's Doctor Fizal.

Her eyes widen when she realizes it's you. For a second, neither of you move. Then, rage fills
your entire body- this woman fucking sold you out- and before you can comprehend what
you're doing, you're tossing the knife in the air and catching it by the blade, then whipping it
forwards.

The blade cartwheels through the air, a blur of silver, and it sinks itself straight into her
throat.

She coughs, and her hands rise to her throat. Stumbling, the doctor sinks to the ground, blood
running down her neck and staining her white coat. Blood dribbles for the corner of her
mouth. She's dying, sinking into the floor and clutching at her neck.

You don't feel a thing.

You stalk forwards, lean over top of her, and with one swift tug, you pull the knife out of her
throat.

"Nothing personal," you snap.

You watch. You watch as the light leaves her eyes, as her hands go from frantically clawing
at her throat to falling by her sides. You wait until you know she's dead, and still, you feel
nothing except sweet satisfaction.

Good. She's dead.

"What the hell?"

You spin, raising your bloodied blade. It's another MP, eyes blown wide, and he's reaching for
his gun. Without hesitation, you pivot and toss the blade again; once again, you aim holds
true, and the knife sinks into his chest. Who knew you were so good at this? You probably
could've guessed, with how easily you handled the knife training Levi threw at you.
Levi.

You need to get to Levi.

You step forwards, ready to retrieve the knife, but someone else turns the corner: another MP.
He raises his gun, and in a split second decision, you turn and bolt, rounding the corner that
Doctor Fizal came from. "Hey!" he yells, and you hear a gun fire, but you're already out of
range.

The ground is cold beneath your feet as you run, whipping open the closest door and grinning
to yourself when you realize it leads outside. Dirt scrunches between your toes as you cross
the clearing, chest heaving with effort. Everything feels sore and weak, like you shouldn't be
able to stand; you're going to chalk it up to the adrenaline.

You can hear the door open again behind you, and you whip around a corner to enter the
street, eyes frantically scanning your surroundings. Where can you go? What can you-

Laundry lines.

You slip behind large white sheets hanging over clotheslines, holding your breath. You listen
carefully as footsteps stomp by- several sets of them now. The footsteps slow down, coming
to a collective halt in the middle of the street.

"Where the fuck did she go?" you hear one of the men demand, and you squeeze your eyes
shut.

"Can't have gone far," someone else replies. "She's injured and barefoot. Weaponless."

Not entirely weaponless, no. You clench your hand tighter around the metal tools in your
grip. Strike that- metal tool, singular. You've got the piece with the hook but you must've lost
the other piece somewhere on your run. You hadn't even noticed.

"Let's get to the stables," one of them says. "Grab the horses. She'll never outrun us on foot."

You bite your lip. Perfect.

You peer out from behind the sheet and watch as the two men head back around the corner.
Slowly, you creep towards the corner and poke your head around. They're both headed to one
of the larger buildings, and as they open the door, you can see a horse inside.

Great.

You try to step around the corner and immediately, your legs slump. You wince; the pain's
finally catching up with you. You don't think you're bleeding anymore, but the blood loss is
still making you unfortunately dizzy. You crane your neck, trying to get a look at your back.
You can't see it properly.

Well, either or, you can't go running around with a bloodied back like this. You're much too
easy to spot.
Your eyes zero in on a faded brown dress hanging from the clothesline.

Within moments, your tattered shirt and pants are gone, and you've pulled on the peasant's
dress. It's a dull color and too big on you, and its straps only cover the tops of your shoulders
so you can still see some of the blood down your arms, but it'll have to do.

"Fuck," you mutter under your breath as you take painful steps in the direction of the stable.
The metal tool is clenched so tightly in your hands that you can feel the point digging into
your palm.

Carefully, you prop open the stable door. The two men seem to have left already, and in a
hurry: there's a few sets of tangled reins laying in a heap by the door, a saddle is overturned,
and some of the horses are neighing impatiently. Good- at least that means they're gone.

Grunting, you grab one of the saddles from the ground and hoist it up, finding the nearest
horse. "C'mon, boy," you say, having no idea what the gender of the horse actually is. "Help
me out here."

Thankfully, the horse complies. It allows you to throw a saddle on its back, then reins. You
thank whatever sort of fates led you to this obedient horse.

Before you jump on, your eyes fall to a small bin with horse brushes. There's a mirror.

Your curiosity wins over. You stumble over and grab the handle, holding it up to your face.

"Holy shit," you breathe out. Your fucking eye. Your scarred eye looks the same as usual, a
scabbed gash from your forehead to the top of your cheek, but Kenny punched your other
eye, and it's a disgusting mush of black and purple.

How long ago did he punch you? Only a few hours?

There's some dried blood in your hair, but with your black eye, it's hardly noticeable. You
jam the mirror back into the bin and march over to the horse. You have to use a stool to
clamber up onto the horse, but when you finally make it up, you collapse against the mane,
physically exhausted.

Just in time too- the barn door opens.

The man at the barn door pauses, eyes widening, and you squeeze your calves into the horse's
sides. "She's in here!" the man yells, but you're already urging the horse onwards, right
towards him. The man curses and dives out of the way as the horse stampedes past with you
pressed right into the horse's mane, holding on for dear life. "Stop!" the man splutters from
the ground, like that would make you do anything. "Get back here!"

You urge the horse forwards, down the street and in the opposite direction of the wall. Is this
south? You think so.

The houses blur together. Then, when you get far enough, the tree start blurring together.
Getting out of town was good, and tearing through the forest is better, since it means you're
getting closer. You've got a rough idea of where you're going, but you can't slow down; every
time you do, you can hear hooves getting closer. They're chasing you.

Eventually, the craziest idea strikes you. You glance ahead in the direction you think you're
supposed to be going, then behind you at where you think the others are coming. Then, you
give one last look sideways to where you think you're supposed to be going

"Here goes nothing," you mumble, and you throw yourself off the horse.

It's not a clean dismount, not at all, and the fall makes you wince as you roll onto your back.
Your cuts scream at you, but you don't have time to waste; you venture further into the trees,
the tiny lockpick clutched in one of your hands. The horse continues on, cantering away
down the trail.

The horses containing the MPs run by, and they go straight by you, after the horse. Good.

You can't even be happy that it worked; now, you've got to walk. You know you're going in
the right direction (more or less), but every step feels painful and your head swims.

Levi.

He's the only thing keeping you going as you walk, one foot in front of the other. You need to
get to him, and collapsing here isn't going to save you.

Your lips part, trying to form his name, but the effort feels too much, not when it's taking all
of your concentration to just stay on your feet. Slowly, you trudge forwards, trying to keep
your eyes open.

Time passes. You stumble on.

You're so tired that you think you're going to collapse to the ground. It's physically draining
to put one foot in front of the other and then keep yourself stable on top of that. You nearly
trip over a root, and you're glad you didn't because you don't even think you'd be able to get
up if you fell.

How much further?

You don't even want to consider the possibility that they're not there. Levi said it was the
backup place. They have to be. Otherwise, you're royally fucked.

"C'mon, dumbass," you murmur, tightening your grip around the tiny metal tool. "You can do
it."

Just one foot in front of the other. The trees are starting to blur together; nothing looks
familiar, but you're sure you're going the right way. You don't know any other path, and if this
isn't the right one, then... well, you're screwed.

There's a rustle.
You wake up immediately. There was a noise, somewhere above and ahead of you, hidden up
in the trees. Someone's here. You crouch low to avoid being a target for any projectiles in
case someone has a bow and arrow- or a gun or something. You lean behind a tree, trying to
still your breathing.

Could it be... could it be someone on watch? One of yours or someone else? You're not sure
you have the energy to fend off someone else. Inhaling shakily, you scan the trees, looking
for someone, anyone. The metal of the broken tool in your hand feels painfully cold in your
shaky grip.

"Logan?"

You're not sure where the voice is coming from, but if they know you by name, hopefully it's
a good thing. Curiosity wins over caution; you straighten up and peer around the edge of the
tree, eyes scanning the leaves for the speaker.

"Show yourself," you demand hoarsely, which you're betting doesn't look very threatening
from someone caked in mud and blood wearing a stained peasant's dress.

The sound of snapping branches makes you perk up. You narrow your eyes at the source of
the sound and you're surprised to see someone clambering down from one of the higher
branches, moving so quickly that they nearly miss a branch. "Logan," they say, their voice
filled with relief, and you hear their feet hit the forest floor. "Thank god, holy shit!"

Jean.

"Jean," you whisper, and the adrenaline that you'd summoned in the case of an attacker
suddenly evaporates. You slump immediately, your knees giving out and sending you straight
down into the dirt. The tool falls from your hand, forgotten.

"Shit, don't fall- Logan!"

Arms catch you clumsily before you can hit the ground. You think Jean might be saying
something else, but you're too tired to pay him any mind. Jean crumples to the ground with
you, pulling you into one of the tightest hugs you've ever received.

"Jean," you repeat deliriously.

"Yeah, it's me," you hear him whisper, arms cradling you into him. The hug is so nice that
you nearly burst into tears. Jean exhales in relief; you can feel it by the way his shoulders
slump. "Shit, Logan- god, Captain's going to go mental, he's been a mess for the last two
days. Are you okay?"

Captain- Levi.

Having Levi's hands on you, hearing him talk to you, seeing the softness that he gets in his
eyes when it's just you and him. Levi- his hands, his hair, his touch, his scent.

You want to cry. You've only been gone for... oh, who fucking knows how long, but you've
missed him and longed for him so much that it feels physically painful. It feels like kissing
him would dry up the tears in your eyes, relieve the ache in your bones. God, even seeing
him again would be enough...

No. No, it wouldn't. You need him, all of him. You need to see him, to hold him, to bury your
nose in your neck and inhale his scent, to have him hold you and never let go-

"Logan?"

Right. Jean asked if you were okay. "No," you murmur.

Jean's arms loosen. "Shit. Sorry. Come on, let's get you to the barn." Barn. The barn sounds
awfully nice. "Were you followed?"

You shake your head against his shoulder. "I think... I think I lost them."

"Okay. Okay, good." Carefully, Jean stands, and he tries to help you to your feet. You try to
summon the energy to keep yourself up, but you feel like you're going to faint. "C'mon,
Logan. Stay with me."

"'m trying," you mumble.

"Just a bit longer." The brunet pulls you up, but you nearly fall again, and Jean's grip slips.
"Okay, can you walk?" he asks, and you try to nod. You're not sure if you actually nodded or
not; your perception has gone to shit. "Okay. I'm gonna count to three, and we're going to get
you up. Okay? One, two, three!"

Jean tugs, and you stand up as best as you can. He slings your arm over his shoulder,
effectively propping you up. Even when your energy leaves you again, he keeps you held up,
and you both sigh in unison, relieved.

"Great- great," Jean says quickly. "You're good, Logan, you got this."

You laugh weakly. "Jean, I'm going to die."

"No you're not," he interjects immediately, and he starts guiding you through the trees. "I'm
getting you back to base."

You hum contently from his side, your cheek pressed into his shoulder. "Base," you murmur.
Base sounds nice. Base means somewhere safe- base means Levi. You want to see Levi more
than you've ever wanted anything in your life. You just want him to hold you, to tell you
everything's going to be okay since you're together now.

Jean says something, but you can't hear him anymore. The world is coming to you in waves,
occasionally tuning in enough that you can hear Jean's footsteps in the dirt. It feels like your
feet are dragging behind you.

The only reason that you're not slipping down to the ground is Jean's arm around your lower
back and his other hand holding onto your wrist to keep your arm from falling off his
shoulder. You feel that at this point, you're not sure you'd be able to do anything to stop
yourself. Occasionally, his arm presses too hard into your back and you can feel your cuts
sting, but you can't bring yourself to tell him.

Jean says your name again. You hum to tell him you're still awake.

You don't go much further before Jean squeezes your arm and you force your brain to
refocus. You're in the clearing, and you can see the barn up ahead. Relief floods your head, a
flood so large that your dizziness spikes up again. "Logan!" Jean cries out as you nearly fall
sideways. "Come on, just a bit more. Just- just stay awake."

You don't know if you can do this. Everything is so heavy, so dense- you don't want to move
anymore, you don't want to be awake anymore. "Sorry," you force out, trying to get your feet
underneath you so that you can walk.

"No, don't apologize," he says frantically, pulling your arm back over his shoulders. "Let's
just get you back- shit, just stay up-"

"Jean?" you hear someone call. "Emergency?"

You can't even tell who it is- you're too tired. "Yes! No?" Jean pulls you forward, and the two
of you start to walk, closing the distance between you and the barn door. "Connie, get the
captain!"

"Dude, it's the middle of the night and I think he's finally sleeping, I'm not going to-"

The door opens. You don't even have the energy to raise your head. You must be a few meters
away from the door- almost there. Almost to Levi.

"Shit," you hear Connie say. "Oh my god, you're-"

"Connie," Jean interrupts. "Captain."

"Right. Captain-"

"I'm up."

Levi's voice stirs something in the bottom of your soul, wakes up something inside you. You
lift your head wearily, trying to force yourself to stand up on your own. Your eyes search for
Levi, desperate to see the only person that's kept you sane for the past few days- if it's even
been that. You have no idea how long has passed.

"This better be good," comes the familiar grumble as Levi steps into view. He looks like he
hasn't slept, hair unnaturally ragged, sword in his hand. It's the middle of the night with Jean
on patrol and he still won't sleep.

Your eyes meet.

There's a heartbeat of silence.

The sword clatters to the ground.

.

Levi's convinced you're a hallucination.

He's been absolutely sick. Running himself mad, thinking of what could've been happening to
you. Imagining all of the worst case scenarios. It wasn't that he didn't trust you, trust you to
take care of yourself, but he needed to know you were okay, needed to know you were alive
and fighting and that you'd come back to him.

And here you are.

He'd imagined this. Played it out like this. He'd be on patrol and you'd just show up. Or
Hange would get wind of your whereabouts and Levi would go without hesitation, ready to
cut down anyone that would get in his way.

It's been driving him insane. Some said love was maddening; now, he understands.

But seeing you, slung over Jean's shoulders, wearing some sort of dull brown dress that's not
your size, mud caked to your bare shins, dried blood crusted across your shoulders, down
your arms, and across your forehead. Your good eye is badly bruised. You look like a corpse,
like you'll collapse to the ground without Jean's support.

And you're still the best thing he's ever seen in his life.

The blade slips from his fingers, and he doesn't even notice. He doesn't care. The only thing
he cares about is you.

Levi strides forward at the same time that you step away from Jean, and you fall into his arms
as he lunges to grab you. As soon as he feels you in his hold, Levi's head starts to spin. You're
real. You're here. You're alive. Maybe not okay, but you're alive.

His hands reach for everything he can grab. They originate on your hips, then pat down your
legs, then up your sides, feeling every inch of you to know that you're here, you're his. His
hands slide up your shoulders, feeling you shake in his hold, gripping you so tightly that he
knows he's adding to your bruises but he doesn't think he can stop himself.

He cups your face, finishing his hands' travels to map out your body. He holds you in front of
him for a moment, and for fuck's sake, are his eyes misty?

Levi tosses away all of his inhibitions, and he kisses you.

You kiss him back, your lips chapped and dirty, your hands holding onto him like he's the
only thing anchoring you. He doesn't care, doesn't care about the dirt, the blood. All he cares
about is having you in his grip, having your mouth on his, knowing that you're real and you're
alive and you came back to him, like you always promised you would.

He pulls back because he can feel you slipping away, worn down and drained, and he presses
his lips to your forehead and wraps his arms around you again as you bury your nose into his
neck. You're trembling, but not crying- he wonder if it's just because you're too exhausted for
tears.
There's no words. You don't have the energy to speak; he doesn't need you to.

"Connie," he hears Jean murmur from behind you, "you're up for patrol."

There's no movement- then, the clear sound of Jean smacking his friend. To his credit,
Connie moves quietly. Levi hears his footsteps pad away, and finally, he opens his eyes. Jean
is still standing just outside the door, eyes blown wide. He's waiting for orders.

Levi doesn't even have the energy to glare at him. "Go get some sleep and tell Connie to get
to his post." He vaguely remembers that Connie's prone to falling asleep on patrol, and he
adds, "tell him to be careful. We don't know if anyone tried to follow her."

Jean nods, his Adam's apple bobbing. He reaches for the door to close it.

"Jean."

He looks up, the door open just a crack.

Levi squeezes his eyes shut, then reopens them. He glances behind at where everyone else is
sleeping; no one seems to have woken up. Or if they have, they're choosing to stay quiet.
Your breathing has evened out; it sounds like you've finally passed out. He wonders how long
you've been fighting the urge to faint.

"Thank you," he murmurs.

The boy nods, still looking mildly overwhelmed, but he closes the door, leaving Levi to hold
you alone in the barn doorway. Slowly, Levi sinks to the ground, cradling you into his arms.
He glances sideways at where everyone else is sleeping, then slowly pulls himself backwards
with you until the both of you are curled up in one of the empty stalls, protected from the
view of the others. It's not much privacy, but it's a small comfort.

You bury further into his chest. Levi tightens his hold on you, pressing his nose into your hair
and trying to control his breathing. You still smell the same despite everything else: the
blood, dirt, and something that reminds him too much of the underground, but it's still you.

He's got you. You came back to him.

Levi gives you a quick once over that he should've done as soon as he saw you. How badly
injured are you? There's blood in your hair, but it looks dried. Your eye looks nasty, but
nothing that won't heal. Your feet are coated in mud, and there's dried blood on the backs of
your shoulders, poking out from under your dress. You've got all of your fingernails; if they
tortured you, they tried something else.

He resists the urge to check where all the dried blood is from. Nothing seems fresh; nothing
urgent that needs wrapping. Plus, you need your rest- he wonders if you've slept at all since
you were taken. He sure hasn't.

Levi kisses your hair, squeezing his eyes shut. "I love you," he murmurs, meaning it with
every fiber of his being. He should've said it long ago.
 He's never letting you go again.

Chapter End Notes

Early update, as promised. Please forgive me for any grammatical issues- I'm rushing to
get this out and haven't edited it yet.

You're all so phenomenal- the fact I see so many comments this late in the game is
insane. I loved writing this chapter so much and I hope you all enjoyed reading it; I live
to please you guys. Thank you so much for all the love you give me. <3
 3-5
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

When you wake up, you're in your cell again.

At least, that's what it feels like. Everything is dark, and you can still taste the dampness of
the underground cell on your tongue. You sit up, too panicked to notice that there's someone
next to you, too frenzied to notice that you're laying on straw, not on cold cement.

Someone grabs you and you flinch immediately, tearing your arm away- holy shit you're
going to get tortured again-

"Hey, hey."

Someone says your name. You blink rapidly, trying to force yourself to refocus. When reality
finally comes into focus, you realize that you're in a barn of some sort, laying on a bed of
straw behind a... a stall wall? Levi's next to you, watching you through narrowed eyes. If you
squint, you think you can make out concern behind his guarded expression.

Then, you realize where you are and who you're with. "Levi?" you whisper.

He nods, his face relaxing. "It's me."

Tears nearly well up in your eyes. Somehow managing to find Jean, getting to the hideout,
falling into Levi's arms and kissing him- it had all felt like a fever dream. "This is real?" you
croak out, vision blurry.

"Real," Levi confirms quietly.

Real. Real, real, real. Levi's hand on your hip, his other hand cupping your face, the way
you're curled into his lap. All of the mud and dried crimson that you're stained with. Every
inch of it is real, and you've never been more grateful. He smells so nice: clean, something
outdoorsy, and some sort of lemon tinge, despite everyone being on the run for so long. He
smells like home.

You reach out, fingers trailing against Levi's cheek. It's true, he's real. Here, beneath your
fingertips. You could cry. Hell, you actually might. Trembling, you stroke your fingers
against his cheek, and despite the dirt that you know is embedded under your fingernails, he
still lets you.

"I missed you," you say hoarsely.

Levi swallows hard. "Me too."

Carefully, he tips your chin upwards, and Levi slots his mouth against yours. You sigh in
relief, the weariness melting from your muscles as you sink closer into Levi's warmth. You
kiss him until the energy leaves you and you slump down, head falling against his chest.

Levi cradles you, one hand in your hair, thumb tracing aimless circles on your scalp. You let
your eyes fall shut, wondering if you'll be able to fall asleep again. More sleep would be nice.

"Time?" you murmur.

His thumb stops drawing circles. "You've only been out for a few hours. Sun's only just
starting to come up."

You hum contently. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing." Levi's fingers start drawing again. "Everyone's still sleeping. Connie's on watch."
You feel him swallow against you, and then he continues, "we're still on the run. No clue
where Eren and Historia are." You feel his head tilt. "You know anything?"

You rock your head against his chest. "No. Never saw them."

He nods. "The only thing I can think of at this point is infiltrating one of the military bases
and beating the truth out of one of them." Levi shifts slightly. "We found a base. Don't have
the manpower to take it down so we're scouting it out."

"I'm manpower," you hum.

"You would be, at full health." Levi helps to pull you up so that you're not laying on him, and
you lean against the wall. He meets your eyes, and you can see that he's thinking, debating
his next move. Debating whether to ask you what happened to you.

You're not sure whether you want him to or not. There's so much you want to tell him, but
you'll break down if you do.

He must read it in your eyes, because eventually, he sighs softly and relents. "We've got shit
to do. Once this situation is settled, I want a full report."

Ah. So not right now. That, you can do. You don't know if you want to relive anything from
the past few days, not for a while.

"Can you walk?"

No. "Yeah," you murmur. "I can."

Levi raises his eyebrows at you like he doesn't believe you- he probably doesn't. He's too
smart. "L," he mutters. "No bullshit, no lies. I don't give a shit about your pride. How bad are
your injuries?"

Your lips part, but no sound comes out. You're not entirely sure. You'd been running entirely
on adrenaline last night as you tried to get back to the barn; all you'd felt was exhaustion.
Now, trying to sit up and move, you can feel the pain and ache in your joints. You squeeze
your eyes shut as you exhale softly, collecting yourself.
"I'm just tired," you murmur. "I haven't slept properly since I saw you last." You glance up at
Levi, but he's waiting for you to continue. "My eye feels okay," you muse, gingerly petting
the tender skin. "Just a bit sore when I blink. Still have full vision. My feet are sore and might
be cut up because I did a lot of running in bare feet. My thigh- when Kenny shot me, the
bullet just grazed me, it's doing okay. And my..."

Your back. You haven't gotten the chance to look at it yet. You don't want to.

"My head's okay," you say quickly, pressing your palms to your temples. "Not concussed.
The blood is from a scrape, but I can't even feel it. My..." you exhale, glaring at the floor.
"My back is in bad shape," you force out softly. "I think."

"Your back?" Levi repeats.

You nod.

You're betting he already knew. You can see the dried blood on the tops of your shoulders,
and it's a safe guess to assume that it looks worse from the back. "Doesn't hurt unless I
move," you joke weakly, pulling your knees up to your chest.

He looks like he wants to ask. The words seem to be perched on the tip of Levi's tongue, but
he seems to register the haunted look in your eyes, and he only nods. You're grateful; you'd
rather not show him until you've had the chance to look yourself.

Instead, Levi reaches out and squeezes your knee. You nearly have to blink back tears.
Somehow, the action speaks volumes.

"Sun's coming up and we need a plan," Levi mutters. "I'm going to wake people up."

"Alright."

He stands, using your knee to help push himself up. His touch lingers on you as long as
physically possible until he's not within reach, and he vanishes around the side of the stall
wall.

You're immensely grateful for how well Levi knows you. You want to get up on your own,
you want to move on your own- and you don't need his watchful eyes on you if you fail.
You've got some time to work through this by yourself.

Shakily, you push yourself up to a kneeling position, then up to one foot. Immediately, a
wave of nausea seizes your head and you nearly stumble. Catching yourself, you inhale
slowly to try to ward off the dizziness. Eventually, it subsides, and you manage to get your
other foot up underneath you. Using the wall for support, you stand.

It's not that bad. Besides the initial dizziness, you're okay. Your legs are a bit sore and your
bullet wound tingles, but otherwise, nothing else hurts.

"Alright," you mutter to yourself. "One step at a time."

Walking doesn't hurt as much as you'd expected it to. Your back aches as you straighten up,
but you'd been anticipating it; it's nothing but a manageable dull throb at this point.

You step around the edge of the stall, hand braced on the wall, and you finally get a look at
the rotting stable. The roof isn't completely put together, with broken pieces of shingles
letting light filter in. The horses are settled in the stalls, and the scouts- your friends- are
arranged next to each other, using spare cloaks and uniforms as pillows and blankets. Seeing
them is an immediate relief: you can count everyone in Squad Levi, with the exception of
Connie, but Levi said he was on patrol.

"Up and at 'em," Levi says, stomping around the sleeping soldiers. He's gathering a uniform
into his arms- a spare change of clothes for you. "We've got shit to do today. Sasha, go grab
Connie and make sure he's not asleep out there."

"Roger," Sasha says with a yawn, sitting herself up and rubbing at her eyes.

Mikasa is the first to notice you. She smiles softly, nodding to you in a way that means more
than words can convey. She and Levi are both really good at the speaking-without-actually-
speaking thing.

Sasha notices you second, and she gasps- loudly. "Logan!" she practically shrieks, launching
herself up from the ground.

"Sasha," you say back, "hi-"

You can't even get another word out: Sasha tackles you. You're not strong enough to keep
yourself upright, and you go falling to the ground. The impact stings your back and you
wince as the slices taken out of your skin sing in pain. "Logan," Sasha says, her voice nearing
a sob. "It's so good to see you."

"Oi, she's injured!" Levi snaps.

"She's injured?" Sasha gasps, pulling herself off of you. Her eyes sweep over your body. "Oh
god, you're injured!"

"You'd think I was carrying food, with that kind of enthusiasm," you joke weakly. "Missed
you too, Sasha. I'm fine."

The brunette hops off of you and helps you to your feet. You try to support your own weight
the best you can, knowing that Levi's watching you carefully. "Are you okay?" she asks, her
voice filled with concern. "What happened?"

You force a smile. "I'll tell you after this is all over."

Sasha gets the message: a very clear I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it. She backs up, and you're
surprised when Mikasa steps up next, nodding to you. "Do you know where Eren is?" she
asks.

You shake your head. "No idea. Never saw him."

She deflates slightly, her shoulders sinking. Armin steps in front of her, and to your surprise,
he holds his arms out. You step into his arms, giving Armin a light hug. He's very
conscientious about not touching your back or holding you tightly- he must've seen how you
reacted when Sasha tackled you. "I'm glad you're alright," he murmurs.

"That makes two of us," you say with a grin as you pull away. "What's the plan?"

"Capture some of the military and infiltrate," Levi says, and he tosses something your way.
You catch it; it's a shirt. He throws another bundle and you catch pants next. "We spent
yesterday scouting them out. We'll capture one of the patrol teams, take their uniforms, and
then figure out our next move."

Capturing patrol teams. Strategizing. Action.

You'd insisted to Levi that you were ready for it. That you want in. But honestly, you just
want to take a long nap. God, this all sounds exhausting. You squeeze your eyes shut for a
half a second, then reopen, trying to recalibrate. This is what you signed up for. This is what
you told Levi you were up for.

You're certain that he wouldn't shame you for sitting out. He'd understand- all of them would.
Right? If you wanted to maybe not be a part of this one-

"Logan."

You jerk yourself out of your thoughts. "Hm?"

"You're sitting out."

You blink. "Okay."

Well, that was easy. Levi seems to think so too, because he raises an eyebrow in surprise
before he turns around, fussing with some of the equipment. You roll your shoulders, wincing
from the pain, then start unfolding the clothes in your arms as Armin starts to talk about a
plan.

"I can act as bait," he's saying, drawing figures in the dirt with a stick. "At the river bed.
Then, Captain and Mikasa can ambush the two that are on patrol. They'll be isolated enough
from the other patrol squads that we should have plenty of time to make them talk."

"Bait?" Sasha questions, eyes wide.

Armin shrugs. "I'll just... pretend I'm grabbing water at the river or something."

"I can do it," you volunteer.

The squad looks over to you, but Levi's quick to cut you off. "You just agreed to sit this one
out."

Fair enough. "I did," you agree, "but bait's easy. I don't have to do anything. Plus, I could..."
you trail off, glancing down at your bare legs. They're coated in mud. "I could wash up," you
finish lamely, thinking of the stained blood across your back. Fuck- you haven't even checked
the bullet wound in your thigh. Your thigh might be bad.

Levi looks like he wants to argue, but that haunted look in his eyes is back- the one that
screams he wants to know but doesn't want to ask. "Fine," he replies, and you straighten up.
"Armin, when's that patrol?"

"One soon, then another in an hour," the blond says, gazing at you for a second longer before
turning back to Levi. "We should leave in a few minutes if we want to make the first one."

He nods. "Suit up."

Everyone starts getting ready: fastening cloaks, preparing weapons, tightening gear. Armin
tosses you a blank cloak and you pull it on, clipping it across your chest. You roll your
shoulders again, hiding your wince. God, your back aches.

"You okay?" Sasha asks, frowning at you. "I'm sorry I tackled you."

You wave her off. "All good. Just happy to be back."

She nods, but she doesn't seem entirely convinced. You'd be surprised if they believed you at
all; between a black eye, muddy legs, and blood stained shoulders, you're certainly not the
poster child for perfect health. Plus, Jean saw how beat up and exhausted you were yesterday;
he's definitely going to tell the others about it.

Armin walks you through where to go and where along the river to be so that they'll have a
good position. You nod along, trying to stay focused. Once this is all over, you can have the
longest nap known to mankind, you tell yourself, blinking rapidly to keep your eyes open.
You just need to make it through a little bit more.

"Let's go," Levi says, and you lead the way.

Once you get close enough, the squad retreats to the trees, leaving you alone on the forest
floor. You pull your hood over your head, toes digging into the grass as you march on. Levi
had offered you boots and you're carrying them in one hand; you don't really want to put
them on until after your feet are clean. You've got the shirt and pants tucked under one arm as
well. Maybe you'll get the chance to put those on.

When you reach the river, you immediately slump down against the shoreline, exhaling
slowly to mask your exhaustion. Carefully, you move yourself to a sitting position and dip
your feet in the water.

"Fuck," you say with a happy sigh. It's so relieving: the coolness seeping into your skin, the
water between your toes, the dirt rushing off downstream.

You hike the dress up high on your thighs, inspecting the bullet wound. Kenny had
mentioned that Doctor Fizal had stitched it up, and miraculously, it looks like the stitches
have held. The white bandage that had been plastered overtop is half peeled away, but you
fasten it back down as best you can, grateful that the stitches stayed. As awful as she is, she's
a pretty good doctor.

Was. You killed her.

Shit- did you actually?

You press a hand to your temple. The whole escape feels so blurry, like you'd been
intoxicated as it was happening. You really did kill the doctor, didn't you? Thrown a knife
into her throat and then watched as she bled out?

Focus. Clean up.

Shakily, you scoop water from the river and use it to clean off your legs, ridding them of mud
and any remaining blood stains. It feels so nice to have clean legs, and you wiggle your toes
in the water.

Footsteps. Crunching in the grass.

You sigh. Showtime.

You scoop some water up to your arms, trying to rid yourself of some of the blood on your
shoulders when you hear, "don't move."

Obviously, you move. You turn your head, raising an eyebrow at the patrol. It's two military
police- relatively young, from the looks of them. One girl with short hair and a scrunched
nose, and a stocky boy with an awkward looking bowl cut of some sorts. They're both
pointing guns at you.

"Seriously?" you say with a roll of your eyes. "Look at me. I'm no threat to you."

"Put both hands up," the man demands. "Stand."

"Don't move, or stand? What is it?"

He chokes out, "s- stand."

You roll your eyes again and force yourself up to your feet, hands rising to your head. "Who
trained you two?" you say deliriously, scrunching your eyebrows together. "Because whoever
taught you that a standing captive isn't as dangerous as one on the ground seriously needs to
be checked out."

The man's eyes widen. "You're in the Survey Corps. You're Logan."

"Who?" you say nonchalantly as Levi and Mikasa dive from the trees.

It's pathetically easy, how quickly the both of them take the military police down and they
surrender their guns. Within moments, they're stripped of their uniforms and their wrists are
bound. Levi is studying their IDs, pacing behind them, while Mikasa and Armin are getting
changed into the military garb.
You dry off your legs with the spare cloak, then pull on your pants under the dress. Your
boots follow. You borrow a blade from Connie and chop off the bottom half of the dress,
cutting it into a top of sorts. It'll work for now, you guess. You don't want to pull on the new
shirt until you can clean up your shoulders.

The captured soldiers agree to work with you- Hitch and Marlowe. Hitch seems much more
reluctant, but Marlowe's got a fire in his eyes that reminds you of Eren. It makes your heart
clench up in your chest.

Time passes. Hitch and Marlowe help you out. Everyone gets on the move.

Honestly, you wish you could focus on the details. You're sure it's important. And you care
about Historia and Eren, you truly do. But the world is spinning much quicker than usual and
it's bothering you. Why's everything going so fast?

Jean falls into step with you as the squad heads through the forest, Levi in the front with the
captives and you near the back. "How're you feeling?" he asks.

"Fine," you lie, glancing at him. You pinch your lips together, then add, "thanks for carrying
me back. When you found me."

"Of course," Jean says in surprise, like he can't believe that you're thanking him.

"Yeah. I didn't..." you trail off. "I had an idea of where I was going, but I didn't think I was
going to make it, if I'm honest."

"Well, you didn't make it easy."

"...I figured. That's why I wanted to thank you."

Jean clears his throat awkwardly, and you glance at him, waiting for him to speak. "So," Jean
says awkwardly, and you can see the tips of his ears going red. "You and- you and the
corporal?"

You blink. "What?"

"Well, you..." Jean raises his hands, pressing his thumb to his middle and index finger on
both hands. Then, he touches his fingertips together, trying to act out kissing. "You know."

Your eyes widen. "Oh."

You forgot about that. You'd been so relieved to see Levi that when he'd kissed you, you
hadn't even thought twice. You were dizzy with relief (and exhaustion), and you hadn't even
considered the consequences of your actions.

"Oh," you repeat, looking back towards the front of the squad. Levi's still focused forwards,
his shoulders relaxed and gaze locked on where you're going. "Yeah. That."

"Yeah," Jean repeats. "That."

You open your mouth, ready to clarify, then sigh. "Connie, you're horrible at eavesdropping,"
you say, glaring at the man in front of you who isn't as covert as he thinks: he's leaning
backwards, trying to get an earful. He witnessed your kiss too; you forgot about that. "You
may as well listen too."

"Great," Connie says in relief, dropping back to fall into step with you and Jean, "because my
neck was hurting."

You roll your eyes. "Yes," you say, dropping your voice to a whisper. "We're... we're together.
But it's- it's sort of private, so if you could keep it to yourself-"

Connie interjects. "I promise nothing. I'm going to tell Sasha."

You frown at him. "Seriously?"

"Just giving you the heads up, man. I can't keep a secret from her, we tell each other
everything." Connie shrugs. "Just so you know."

You glance at Jean, shooting him your best is he kidding face to which Jean shakes his head.
You purse your lips, then sigh. "I hate you both."

"In all fairness," Jean says, "I think everyone already kinda knows."

"They what?"

Regret becomes immediately palpable on Jean's face. You see Connie reach across you to
smack him. "Well, no one knew for sure," he defends immediately, recognizing the way your
temper flares. "It was more just... educational guesses? I mean, most of us weren't convinced
for a while, but..."

Your mouth feels dry. "But?"

Jean shrugs loosely. "He sort of..." He clears his throat again. "He sort of went crazy," he
murmurs, his voice dropping. "After you got kidnapped. I don't think he slept once. And he
was super fidgety. He'd take all of the patrols. And whenever someone mentioned you, he..."

"He looked like he wanted to tear someone's head off," Connie supplies.

You snort. "How is that any different from usual?"

Connie and Jean share a glance. "You didn't see him, Logan," Jean says. "He was different. It
was more than just losing someone on his squad- Mikasa says that she saw him after he
found out that Annie..." he pauses. "Annie killed the old Levi Squad. And even then, he was
controlled."

Your heart squeezes in your chest. Levi was really that unhinged?

"He was nuts," Connie whispers.

Jean smacks him. "That's the Captain you're talking about, Connie. Right in front of his
girlfriend."

Girlfriend. You purse your lips to keep yourself from smiling. "Let me talk to him first," you
urge softly, glancing between the two boys. "As soon as we can catch a breath."

"We're Survey Corps," Jean says with a roll of his eyes. "When do we ever get that chance?"

Fair enough. "Fine. Soon." You pause, then add, "I'm sorry, guys. I didn't tell anyone
because... well, I didn't want you to think any of it was favoritism. You know? I worked hard
for this, and-"

"We know," Connie says. "Duh. Of course we know it's not favoritism."

You exhale in relief, nodding. They exchange another glance, and then Jean pipes up, "you're
happy though. Right?"

You can feel the moment your heart melts a little bit in your chest. You know that everyone in
your squad cares about each other, but for some reason, that specific question makes
something burn deep in the pit of your stomach.

"Yes," you say firmly, smiling. "Very much so."

"You sure?" Connie asks. "Can anyone really be happy with that grump?"

You and Jean both smack Connie at the same time. "That's my boyfriend you're talking
about," you remind him, smiling to yourself as you use the term. "I appreciate the concern,
but I promise you, I'm happier than I've ever been."

Both boys look to each other, having a silent conversation, and they both nod. "Good," Jean
says.

You smile softly. "Once we stop, I'll talk to him."

Keeping your word would be a whole lot easier if you actually got the chance to stop. Levi
seems intent with forging on at a decent pace- understandable, considering Eren and
Historia's lives are at stake. But Connie and Jean have taken to whispering obsessively
behind you and you really want to have Levi's permission before you say anything else.

God. As if you don't have enough to worry about right now- this shouldn't be a priority.

Eventually- who knows how much later- everyone stops. Levi dumps Hitch and Marlowe to
the ground and starts drilling them for information about the military base: patrols, guard
changes, numbers, weapons. Surprisingly, Marlowe is eager to cooperate. Hitch, not so much.
Not that it matters. Either way, Levi gets his information.

Then, it becomes a waiting game: waiting for nightfall. Levi runs through strategy with your
friends, deliberately leaving you out- you'd expected it and you're not going to complain.
Everyone seems a bit anxious (fidgeting, shifting, biting at nails) but everyone still seems
determined.
There's more hiking. There's more interrogation. There's more strategizing. There's a point
where Levi finally ditches Marlowe and Hitch, sending them into town- apparently, they
agreed to it.

Then, you finally stop.

"We're waiting for dark," Levi says, finally deciding on a spot overlooking the military base.
The base seems well lit and, from this distance, doesn't seem to have a lot of guards. Who
knows. "Set up here. Mikasa, patrol."

Your squad nods along, and several collapse in the grass, enjoying the break that they have.
You glance back at Levi; he's moving forwards, shifting through the trees. Curious, you trail
after him, wondering if he's trying to get a better vantage point.

He sits himself down on a rock in a small clearing overlooking the base. There's another rock
next to him. Wind breezes through the clearing and ruffles his hair; you see him raise a hand
to shift some of it out of his eyes.

You debate for a moment. Then, with a shaky inhale, you step forwards.

Levi doesn't look at you as you move to sit down on the rock next to him. His eyes are dead
set on the base below until you're completely comfortable, and he finally looks at you. You
don't meet his eyes; you keep your gaze trained on the grass beneath your feet, lacing your
fingers together nervously.

There's nothing but silence for a few minutes until you look up and meet Levi's eyes. He
raises an eyebrow at you: silent question.

"I'm okay," you assure him quietly. "Just tired."

His gaze flickers between your eyes very briefly- he's wary of your black eye, you already
know- and he turns back to look at the military base. "You're okay to stay here and keep
watch while we're taking down the base?"

"I'll be fine," you promise. "Don't worry about me."

"I do," Levi says.

Wind rustles through the clearing. You pinch your lips together, brushing some of your hair
out of your face. There's something at the front of your mind, something that Levi said once
you'd finally found him, and you want to ask him about it. You're not sure if it's the time or
place though.

You open your mouth to speak, then pause. How do you bring it up?

"You're catching flies."

Your lips twitch as you close your mouth, eyes flickering to Levi. His eyes are a bit lighter-
he seems vaguely amused for a moment before it fades.
"You..." you swallow hard. "Maybe I misheard."

It's a possibility. You were fading fast, your mind going blank to the world. So maybe hearing
the 'I love you' was just a figment of your imagination. It's entirely probable, but you're
praying it's not the case.

Levi raises his eyebrows. "Misheard what?"

"You're going to make me say it?"

He doesn't reply.

You pinch your fingernails into your palms. He looks tense, at least: his shoulders are higher
than usual, there's a tightness to his jaw, and his fingers won't stay still. He's worried.

"You said you loved me," you say softly.

Levi's gaze doesn't waver. "Yeah. I did."

Your heart does some sort of flip in your chest, but you don't want to let your guard down just
yet- what if it was just a heat of the moment thing? He may have just been relieved you were
back safely-

"I do."

You blink. "You what?"

"Love you." Levi's eyes flicker away, almost like he's embarrassed (or maybe nervous?). He
collects himself and looks back to you. "I should've told you sooner."

God, this man has your whole heart. If he'd told you that he didn't, you may have just passed
away from heartbreak right then and there. The amount of weight that statement held with
you is almost startling.

"I love you too," you whisper. "I should've told you sooner."

There's a visible drop to Levi's shoulders as he straightens up, his eyes widening slightly. You
wonder if anyone's ever told him that before.

Slowly, you extend your hand out. Levi stares at you for a moment before he reaches out,
then links his pinky finger with yours. You can't help but smile as your hands hang between
you two, swaying gently, pinkies interlocked.

The two of you stay like that for a moment, only touching through one singular finger but
somehow more connected than you've ever felt.

"It was on orders from Dad," you say hoarsely, blinking.

Levi's grip on your pinky tightens. You turn your eyes to the grass, refusing to meet Levi's
eyes for what you're sure won't be an easy conversation.
"He paid them off," you mutter, thinking back to when you first woke up in that cell. You roll
your shoulders back at the memory. "But I guess he didn't think it through because they
wanted more money and he didn't have it. So they kept me around instead- they wanted
information on where you were. I didn't- I didn't give it. I never did."

He's quiet beside you, listening.

You forge on. "Kenny told me that he's the one who killed my mother."

"What?"

You look back up to Levi. His eyes are blown wide- clearly, he had no idea. "Yeah," you say.
"Sliced her throat and then tried to come after me. That memory I have- under a table with a
knife? That was him."

"Shit," he mutters, and you see him look away. In the light of the sunset, his skin glows gold.
"Kenny's the one who..." Levi exhales. "He raised me. Taught me how to survive."

"I know," you reply, and Levi frowns at you. "He told me. He's your uncle."

Levi's eyes snap open. "He's my what?"

You straighten up, surprised. "You didn't know?"

His grip on you tightens, and you bite the inside of your cheek as Levi takes a minute to
process. You watch his expression as he thinks, eyes opening and closing, jaw locking. So
Kenny never told him then- just wandered into his life and helped him survive. You roll your
shoulders reflexively. Hopefully, it's not too much for Levi to comprehend.

Eventually, Levi straightens up, coming to terms with the revelation. "I didn't know about
your mother," he says hoarsely.

"I know," you murmur.

His voice is dark as he asks, "what did he do to you?"

You pause before you answer. "Just the black eye," you say, blinking a few times as you
reach up with your other hand to gingerly pet your bruise. "Oh, and the bullet to the thigh, I
guess. The doctor stitched me up though- it's fine."

The doctor. Fizal. Knife in her throat, blood spilling onto the floor.

You swallow the bile in your throat, then look back up to Levi. He looks wary again. You
make your voice as firm as you can when you say, "this isn't your fault."

He doesn't reply.

"Levi," you say, squeezing his finger. "It's not. There's nothing you could've done."
"There's a shit ton I could've done," Levi objects immediately, dropping your hand. You feel
cold. "Literally anything would've been better than what I did."

"You had your mission- you saved the rest of the squad."

"They could've-"

"We've got no way of knowing if they would've been fine without you," you snap, your voice
rising. "You did the right thing. It all worked out."

Levi's eyes flash. "Obviously it didn't, L," he says angrily, voice low. "You're..."

He trails off.

You squeeze your palms together as you snap, "I'm what?"

It's a moment or two before Levi responds. "You're not moving right," he says. "You're stiff
and you're favoring the leg that Kenny shot because of me. You keep rolling your shoulders
and shifting because something's wrong with your back. You're blinking too much, so
something's not right with your eye. You- you fucking escaped from who knows where after
they did who knows what to you, and you're not going to be the same."

You blink. "What'd you mean, I'm not going to be-"

"That shit's traumatic, L!" Levi whirls on you and you do your best not to shrink up. He looks
almost desperate. "And I could've stopped it. I should've been-"

"There's no point in going over what you could've done," you retort. "It doesn't matter
anymore."

"Of course it matters, you-"

"Shut up, Levi!"

You've never yelled at him before. You've had your tiffs, sure, but outright yelling- it never
happens. You regret it almost immediately, but it does the trick: Levi's jaw clenches and the
words get stifled.

"Don't even think about saying it," you snap. "It shouldn't have been you."

Levi doesn't reply. His eyes are dark; he turns them to the grassy floor.

You press both hands to your temples, balancing your elbows on your knees. You've never
really fought with Levi before. It's only been short-lived quips about Levi trying to keep you
safe, usually. You suppose this sort of falls under that category too.

"I'm sorry," you mutter. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Don't," Levi says in return. "I deserved it."

Oh, for fuck's sake. "What happened to me," you say shakily, twisting your head to glare at
Levi, "isn't your fault. There's nothing that could be blamed on you. You couldn't jeopardize
the mission and the lives of your squad."

"I jeopardized yours."

"And I'm okay now."

"You're not."

You shoot him a dirty look. "Don't tell me if I'm okay or not. I can figure that out myself."

Levi's eyes flicker to yours, then back to the military base. The sun's pretty low; shadows are
getting long.

"I want to..." you sigh. "I want to tell you everything," you murmur. "Everything that
happened, what I did to get out. I want to..." You roll your shoulders. "I want to show you,"
you say hoarsely, thinking of your back, "but I can't if you're just going to blame yourself. It's
over- there's no point to the guilt now. What's done is done."

Levi looks back to you. There's a long period of silence.

"It's done," you repeat. "You've got nothing to blame yourself for. Once you're... once you've
accepted that, and once I've come to terms with..." you gesture vaguely with one hand.
"Everything, I guess. Then we can- we can talk about it."

His throat bobs as he nods.

You sigh, looking out to the sunset. Oh, what you'd give to go back to that barn stable and
cuddle up in a corner with Levi, head in his chest and his arms around you. Back to when it
was just relief. No guilt, no blame- just pure love and relief.

"One question."

You nod, gesturing for him to go on.

Levi's eyes are dark as he asks, "who?"

You know what he's asking. You straighten up, taking a deep breath. "Traute," you say
shakily. "The blonde woman on the roof. Kenny's right hand."

He nods in confirmation. You nod in return.

It's okay. Everything's going to be okay.

You don't give a shit what happens to Traute or Kenny- hell, you hope they get killed
somewhere along the way. Maybe if Levi gets a chance to exact revenge, he won't feel as
guilty. If that's what it takes, you've got no qualms with it.

Levi isn't saying anything else. His eyes are fixated on the setting sun.
You swallow hard, then stand up. Levi doesn't say anything else to stop you, so you stumble
away, cursing your aching back as you go.

The relief you'd felt while getting to Levi has expired. Now, it's just more guilt, blame,
revenge, and pain. You press two hands to your forehead, squeezing your eyes shut and trying
to calm the migraine that's brewing in your skull. You two keep telling each other that you'll
deal with it after the mission- what if the mission never really ends? Can you really keep up
this charade?

You press your back up against a tree and then hiss through your teeth- you forgot. You lift
yourself away from the tree and instead slump into the grass, trying to relax.

"Soon," you murmur to yourself.

Soon. This will all be over soon.

Levi calls everyone in and the squad gathers. He doesn't meet your eyes once- intentional or
not, you're not sure. Marlowe and Hitch are long since gone; for whatever reason, Levi
trusted them enough to run off on their own. In all fairness, they really can't make any
difference with your operation here (for better or for worse), and word will spread fast
enough about the attack you're planning.

Once everyone's set up and ready to go, Levi gives everyone a once over. "Start going," he
instructs, pointing down the ridge of the hill into the long grass. "Stay low. I'll follow."

Armin shoots you a quick glance. Then, he leads the pack, trekking away. Sasha shoots you a
quick smile before she follows suit. Soon enough, everyone's gone, leaving just you and Levi
in the clearing. You lace your fingers together, trying to keep yourself from fidgeting.

He turns to you. "You can handle yourself," Levi says, more of a statement than a question,
which you appreciate. "Stay sharp. We won't be long."

You nod, heart jumping in your chest. "Okay."

There's a pause. Unable to look at Levi any longer, you tip your head up, looking to the stars.
To your disappointment, there's no stars out: only dark clouds, covering the moon and all of
the twinkling dots that you enjoy looking at so much. You suppose it's better for their stealth
mission, so that's a plus, then.

"No stars," you say hollowly.

You see Levi's throat bob as he swallows. "No," he agrees.

You look back to him again. Shit- your eyes are starting to burn. "Get going," you urge.
"They're waiting for you."

Levi nods. He steps away, then pauses. "See you soon," he says quietly.

You nearly laugh. That little phrase, that reminder that it's never a permanent goodbye and
that you'll find your way back to each other. "See you soon," you echo, blinking to keep any
tears at bay.

He looks at you, frozen. You want him to come back and kiss you.

Levi doesn't. He nods one more time, and then he's gone, vanished down the ridge after the
rest of the squad.

And so you find yourself a tree, clamber up into some of the higher branches, and do your
best to keep your emotions at bay as you wait painfully for the love of your life and the rest
of your friends to come back.

They do- half an hour later. No Eren and Historia, but they've taken one of the MPs hostage.
He's not one you recognize. Levi starts interrogating him while the others assume watch
positions; they seem wary about the base, like someone might try to follow them. You stay in
your tree- Levi saw you when he came back, so he knows you're fine, and you kind of like
the vantage point. Besides, the longer you're out of sight of the MP, then better.

"What a horrible thing we've done," Levi says dryly. He kicks his foot up and shoves his boot
into the mouth of the MP. "I feel awful for all of you too, especially your mouth."

The man's choking around Levi's shoe, blood trickling down the corners of his mouth. His
grubby fingers are prying at the leather. He's helpless, surrounded by enemies with no allies,
being tortured for information...

Your heart seizes in your chest and you scrunch your eyes shut. It's fine. It's not you. You're
safe. And this is necessary- you need information.

So why's your heartbeat pounding double time in your ears? Why do your hands feel so
clammy?

You force yourself to breathe. You choke on the inhale, but the exhale is a lot smoother; you
repeat it, opening your eyes to look down at your surroundings. The boot is out of the MP's
mouth, leaving him to choke on air, and Levi's eyes flicker up to you briefly.

He noticed. And he stopped.

Levi was right and he knows it; you're not okay.

"Useless!" the MP spits, blood dribbling down his chin. "It's useless! No matter what you try
to do, the only option that the Survey Corps have left is to stay on the run inside the walls!
You're nothing more than a pack of filthy rats now, you'll be lucky just to survive!"

He's ranting now, spinning off of his point. "You've even abandoned your comrades, and if
you don't surrender, the captured soldiers are all going to hang! And why shouldn't they- with
everything you've done, no one's going to object! And the first one up will be your leader,
Erwin Smith!"

Erwin.
That part in particular makes your shoulders stiffen. Erwin, at the mercy of the military
within the walls, and there's nothing you can do about it. Maybe you could stage a break out?
Save as many of the Survey Corps as you can? But your mission is Eren and Historia- how
the hell would you come up with the manpower for any sort of operation within the walls?

"Of course," the MP continues, sounding slightly more coherent as he goes on, "if you admit
that your actions were your own and give yourselves up, the lives of your comrades could be
spared, at least."

Never. You would never trade this group of people for anyone else. It's not an option.

The silence that swallows the clearing is palpable. You shift nervously in your spot in the
tree. What if they'd just take one? They're looking for someone to blame- what if you step
forward, put yourself on the spot? Your life for dozens of others. It'd be a good trade, at least.

Judging by the glare Levi is giving you, he doesn't even want you to entertain the thought.
You nod slightly, banishing the idea to the back of your brain. It's not going to happen
anytime soon.

"You understand, Levi?" he croaks. He starts to stand up. "That's the only option you have
left. Use your lives to save theirs- that's it."

He places his hands on Levi's shoulders, and you're compelled with the intense urge to strip
them off.

"I'll speak on your behalf. It'll go easier that way."

"I'll pass," Levi says nonchalantly, like the MP's five minute rant had never happened. "Tell
me where Eren and Historia are."

The MP starts spitting more nonsense, and you see Levi's eyes flicker over to you again. His
fingers clench into a fist against his thigh, then release, and you get what he's trying to signal
to you: he's about to torture him again, and he's giving you a warning. Shakily, you reach up
to your head to cover your ears, letting your eyes flutter shut. This isn't something you want
to see or hear.

Your hands do little to muffle the screaming. You wonder if this is what Duran heard, sitting
on his stupid stool outside of your cell, the wooden door separating him from your torture
session. Muffled screams, murmurs of threats.

Is he dead too? No, you left him alive and handcuffed to your cell. Would Kenny kill him for
allowing an escape?

You don't want to think about it- any of it. Not anymore.

Eventually, the screams die. You slowly pull your hands away, just in time to hear Levi say,
"you still have a lot of bones left."

"You- you're insane!" the man sputters.

"Maybe," Levi replies casually.

Suddenly, Sasha jerks herself up, aiming her arrow somewhere off in the distance.
"Someone's coming!" she calls, eyes wide with panic. "From that way!"

Immediately, everyone assumes positions. Levi shoves the MP down into the grass and
crouches behind one of the trees. Mikasa tosses you up a gun that they must've stolen from
the base; good, you were hoping you'd get something to protect yourself with. Everyone else
either hides behind trees or lays down in the grass, guns out.

You lean yourself around the tree to aim your gun as Sasha says, "it's a group." You've never
fired one of these- are you going to be any good at it?

"This is the end of the Survey Corps," the man croaks, voice muffled by the ground.

"Can I shoot him?" you mutter.

Levi shoves him harder into the grass, eyes narrowed at the oncoming attackers- wherever
they are. How many are there? You wish you had Sasha's ears.

The rustling gets closer. Your hands are shaking.

"Levi?"

Shit. Is that-

"Hange?" you say aloud.

Sure enough, Hange's head pops up from the grass. They tug the hood off of their head,
beaming. Immediately, your squad relaxes, guns dropping into the grass. "Hey, guys!" they
say. "Holding up?"

Two others emerge from behind them, pulling off their hoods- Marlowe and Hitch,
surprisingly enough. You swing yourself out of the tree, back aching but not painfully enough
to care. You step out ahead of the rest of your squad and reach out, grabbing Hange in a tight
hug.

"Hey!" they say with a laugh, wrapping their arms tightly around your back. You hide your
wince. "Damn, Logan! You look like shit!"

You laugh weakly, pulling yourself away. "It's been a long couple of days."

"Hange," Levi greets. "You have good news?"

"I do," Hange confirms, grinning. They pull a letter out of their shirt pocket and pass it to
Levi; he opens it up to read it and the rest of the squad gathers around his back. You chose to
listen to Hange instead of crowding around him- you know Levi isn't the biggest fan of it.

They explain, but it all feels like a blur. Overthrowing those in charge, arresting all of the
military police, citizens getting involved and reporters everywhere. Hange does manage to
conclude it on something you understand, though.

"So, the false charges against the Survey Corps have been dropped. You acted in legitimate
self defense," Hange says proudly. "The royal capital and administrative district are
provisionally under Commander-in-Chief Zackly's control. You're free now."

"Yes!" Connie whoops.

"Heck yes!" Sasha cheers, jumping up onto Mikasa's shoulders. The rest of your squad starts
grabbing each other and cheering, obviously eager to celebrate. The captured MP looks
confused.

You smile, then turn to Levi. He's searching for your eyes too, and when your gazes lock,
your grin widens even more. This is it: it's over. Right? This is what you'd been aiming for.
The moment when everything would be done.

"We're not done," Levi says, still looking at you, and your shoulders deflate. He turns to
Hange. "We need to find Eren and Historia."

"Actually," Hange says, pulling an envelope out of their cloak, "I've got an idea about that
too. I think I know where to go, and I think- if our guesses are right- that Eren is going to be
eaten."

"Eaten?" you say in surprise.

Hange nods. "It's only speculation based off of things Reiner and Bertolt have said. I'll
explain it all on the ride. We've got spare horses."

Great. Just grab Eren and Historia, and then you'll finally be able to-

"Hitch and Marlowe, head back into town with Logan and get her to Erwin."

You blink stupidly. "What?"

Levi's expression is as blank as usual. "We don't know what we're walking into and you're
injured. Your time will be better spent getting to a doctor and reconvening with Erwin."

You grit your teeth. "I'll be fine, I-"

"You're struggling to stay awake, and from what I know, you've only got a few hours of sleep
in the past two and a half days," Levi interrupts. "You were tortured for information and
you've had a rougher time than anyone else here. Your injuries and exhaustion only mean that
you'll be a hindrance on the field."

"Levi-"

"That's an order."

The scouts around you shift nervously; the tension is enough to smother you. You clench
your hands into fists, fingernails pinching into your palms. All you'd wanted when you were
kidnapped was to see him, and he'd felt the same, initially- now, it seems like he doesn't want
to be near you. You know you're exaggerating it, but you can't help but feel ticked off.

You'd agreed to sit out, but you still want to be near. You want to be there as back up; you
want to make sure everyone makes it out okay. He's asking you to head back into the walls
and keep yourself safe while everyone else takes the risks.

No one moves. Everyone seems to be holding their breath.

You lock your jaw. "Fine."

You pivot on your heel, marching past Hitch, who sputters something in protest. You can't
hear anything past the ringing in your ears, the frustration that's pulsing at the front of your
brain. Levi's off to go fight Kenny and Traute and the rest of those fucking MPs and you're
just going to have to wait- you have to fucking wait and see if any of your friends die or not.

Why can't this all just be over?

Levi watches you go, waiting until your horse is well out of sight before he finally exhales
and locks his gaze forward.

You're pissed. He knows.

But it's the only way he's going to be able to focus, knowing that you're far away from the
danger. Knowing that you're safe and getting treatment and help that he knows he can't give
you. He wants you to talk to someone- if that can't be him, then hopefully Erwin will work.

Will you ever? That is, will you ever talk to him about it? Lord knows, he wants you to.

Levi pinches his lips together, then squeezes his heels into his horse.

Traute never stands a chance.

As soon as Levi's eyes had spotted her, she was screwed. The unadulterated fury in his gaze
had paralyzed her for a moment- she's never seen that kind of rage- but even as she started
firing, he was dodging everything, decreasing the distance between them at a frightening
speed. Traute normally thought herself a good shot, but now, she appears to be a novice.

Levi rebounds off of one of the cavern pillars and launches himself at her, ducking under one
bullet and twisting as he drives the blade forward. Traute dodges- or at least, she thought she
did, but then another sword is coming at her.

It's over too fast. His blade has split her stomach open before she's even got another shot in.

She's been cut in three more places before she even hits the ground. Vaguely, in the back of
her mind, she wonders if you'd been this disoriented when she was torturing you.
 "You don't deserve a quick death," she hears Levi say from above her.

Traute wants to retort. Wants to warn the Captain that Levi is worse than they'd anticipated,
that he's got the fury of a wild animal and the strength to plow through anyone in his way.

She never gets the chance; Levi's boot presses to her throat.

She claws desperately at his foot, but the man doesn't budge. Her blood is staining the cavern,
spilling across the floor, and her energy fades. She grabs once more at Levi's ankle, then lets
her hand fall to the floor, lungs deflating from the lack of air.

The last thought Traute has before she dies is that they should never have kidnapped you in
the first place.

Chapter End Notes

Hello??? I came back from my trip to over 150 new kudos- where are y'all coming
from??? I've never seen a jump like that. You're all fantastic.

There's also a crap ton of comments from last chapter- I've read and adored every single
one of them. I've set aside an hour now to respond to all of those. I love you guys so
fricking much.

Love how I went from average 2k chapters to average 9k. Shoot me.

I love you guys. So so fricking much.

 3-6
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Logan."

"Commander Smith."

Erwin regards you carefully, with a stupid neutral expression that he and Levi both seem to
be very good at. You hate it.

"You look like shit," you say honestly.

"Watch yourself," one of Erwin's colleagues warns.

The blond man doesn't even look mad. To your surprise, Erwin laughs. "As do you," he
agrees. "It's good to see you."

"You too," you admit.

His smile wanes to something softer. "I'm giving you some of our best doctors." Erwin nods
to a man and a woman gathered at the side of his office, who both nod to you. "I know you'd
rather be with your squad right now, but once we give you a once over, you'll be set to head
back out in the field with us. We're departing shortly."

You laugh. A once over- he thinks it's just Levi being paranoid and you need to be checked
over.

"I'm not going back out," you say, glancing at the other officer standing next to Erwin, and
then back to him. You open your mouth to continue, then pause. You've been avoiding
admitting it out loud, only ever scratching the surface with Levi.

Erwin waits.

"...I was caught and tortured by the military police," you force out, keeping your eyes on
Erwin. You want to look down, desperately so, but you won't let this get the better of you.
Nothing to be ashamed of- you're going to come out on top.

Erwin's expression doesn't change, but the man behind him stiffens up. The two doctors
exchange glances, clearly a bit more on edge than before.

"I have a bullet wound in my thigh," you start, turning your head to stare down the doctors.
"Someone patched it up, but it was someone who wanted me dead, so I have no idea if she
did it right. Stitches didn't tear but they're on their last legs." You pinch your lips together,
then continue, "my feet are cut up pretty badly from my escape. And my back is..." you
exhale. "My back is mauled. I don't know how bad."
The female doctor speaks up. "We'll see what we can do."

"See that you do," the commander says.

You glance back towards him and give him a nod. Then, remembering your courtesy, you
pull your hand up in a salute. He nods in return and you drop your hand, turning on the spot
to head out.

"Logan."

You look over your shoulder.

Erwin raises an eyebrow at you. You heard about his ordeal as well: captured, not exactly
treated well. You've both been at the hands of the military police and somehow come out on
top, but not unscathed.

"I'll be here," Erwin says.

You pause. "Alright."

You give him one final look. Then, you head back out the doors, with the doctors on your
heels.

By the time you've woken up, all hell has broken loose and simultaneously come back
together again.

You'd passed out almost immediately upon laying down in a hospital bed, and by the time
you'd woken up, you were wrapped nearly head to toe in bandages with a hospital gown
thrown overtop. Everything feels a bit better though, so there's that.

Erwin comes personally to fill you in on what happened. Eren and Historia were in a cavern,
with a man named Rod Reiss- Historia's father and the true ruler of the walls or some bullshit
like that. Rod tried to convince Historia to eat Eren, who wouldn't, so he turned into a titan
and charged at the wall. Apparently, he was slower than a horse at trotting speed and larger
than Bertolt's titan, but Squad Levi took care of it. Historia's being crowned queen.

You wish you didn't have to miss it, but it sounds like they handled it plenty well on their
own. Looks like you weren't needed. Apparently everyone made it through okay- Hange's a
bit banged up, but they're going to be fine.

"Stay here," Erwin had said. "Rest up. Sounds like you haven't gotten a lot of that recently."

"Same goes for you," you'd replied.

He'd fixed you with a long look. Then, his lips had twitched, and he'd left.

He's been your only visitor ever since you woke up. Doctors have popped in and out,
checking on you, but no one else. You're disappointed until you find out that the doctors have
placed you in strict isolation to allow yourself to sleep and catch up on rest, with Erwin being
the only exception to the rule. You're betting Levi could get himself in if he wanted to- you're
a bit disappointed that he hasn't.

Erwin comes back again, who knows how much later. He's been looking better as well; his
bruises had been dark and ugly but are starting to heal.

"Still look like shit," you say honestly, sitting up as he closes the door behind him.

"As spry as ever," Erwin replies, moving to take one of the seats next to your bed. "I take it
you're feeling better?"

"I am," you agree. It's true; you've been sleeping for ridiculously long periods of time and
you feel more energetic than you have in a while. "Everything's settled down? Can I leave
yet?"

"Soon."

"I hear that word much too often."

Erwin smiles sympathetically. "I have people out on a recon mission now, surveying the
damage done in the cavern. Levi's there." You straighten up upon hearing his name.
"Historia's crowning is later this afternoon, and the squad should be returning within the hour.
I'll send Levi to collect you and he can help you get ready for the ceremony."

You open your mouth, then close it. There's really nothing wrong with that solution, so
you've got no way to protest.

"No objections, I see," Erwin says in response to your silence. "Perfect."

"Well..." you trail off.

Erwin raises an eyebrow.

"Is there..." You really don't want to voice your insecurities, but you can't help but want to
know. Your voice feels small as you ask, "did Levi ever ask to see me?"

His expression doesn't change, but the pause is answer enough.

Your shoulders deflate and you lean backwards, flopping back onto your bed. Your back
doesn't sting as much as it used to. "Right," you mutter. "I get tortured and somehow he's mad
at me."

"He's not mad," Erwin replies immediately. He's quick to defend Levi and it makes you raise
your eyebrows. "It's true that he's busy, and that's my fault. I've been running him left and
right." His eyes narrow, almost like he's scolding you. "You know he's not mad at you."

You sit up again, gathering your hands into your lap. "I know," you murmur. "He's..."

Scared.
So are you, really.

But scared is never a term you'd use to describe Levi. He's never been close to meeting the
definition of scared- worried, yes, and maybe nervous, but never scared.

"Have you seen how bad it is?" you ask softly.

He's quiet for a minute before he responds. "I have," he says slowly, and you immediately
straighten up, "only because the doctors needed to step outside for a minute when they saw
it."

God. "That bad?"

"Graphic, yes. Granted, after they cleaned it up, it looked much better." Erwin locks eyes
with you. "You should be proud," he adds.

"Proud?"

"That's proof that you never cracked. You never told them anything, did you?" You shake
your head. He nods. "Those scars are plentiful because of your sheer will and determination.
That's impressive enough in itself. The Survey Corps owe you a great debt, Logan." His lips
twitch. "I believe that's something I've said before."

"Thank you. Commander."

"Of course."

You squeeze your eyes shut, then reopen and exhale slowly. "I haven't seen it yet," you admit
quietly. "I don't want to."

"You don't want to see it because you're scared of it," Erwin says, "or you don't want to see it
because then you'll be out of excuses for yourself as to why Levi can't see it?"

Your mouth opens, then closes.

He smiles knowingly. "I see."

"I really hate you sometimes."

"Noted."

You sigh softly, lips twitching at Erwin's dry humor. Your smile fades after a moment. No,
you don't want Levi to see. He's angry enough with himself as is and you don't want to make
his guilt any worse- this isn't something you want to burden him with.

"Have faith," Erwin says, jerking you out of your thoughts. "There's nothing you two can't
get through."

Your lips twitch. "Our number one supporter?"

He smiles in return. "I believe Hange would have my neck if I stole that title from them."

"They're doing okay?"

"Yes. Healed well, back up on their feet and causing their usual mayhem." Erwin stands up
from his seat and you resist the urge to tell him to sit back down and stay with you. "I'll send
Levi in as soon as he gets back. You've got a fun-filled afternoon planned."

"Oh joy," you say sarcastically. "I'm thrilled."

"That's the spirit." Erwin's smile fades into something softer. "My office is always open to
you, Logan," he says. "No matter the issue."

You pinch your lips together. No words come to mind, so all you do is nod.

Erwin closes the door behind him, leaving you alone in your hospital room. You sigh, letting
yourself flop back down on your bed. The scars on your back tingle as you lie down, but it's
not painful anymore.

Levi. You want him to get back so that you can show him, so that you can finally unveil what
you went through, you can have someone to talk to about everything. He has to be able to
listen and help you and not blame it on himself- if he can do that, then everything will be
alright.

"Everything will be alright," you whisper to the ceiling.

Your eyes flutter shut and you let yourself fall back asleep.

Levi will never be able to look at Kenny the same.

He's always been a grumpy old bastard, he knows that. He's been deceitful, conniving, and
selfish, but also smart, ruthless, and dangerous- he taught Levi how to be those things and he
taught him damn well.

This asshole is his uncle.

And his fucking uncle just traumatized you for the rest of your damn life. Something he's
never going to be able to forgive himself for.

"Every last person I've seen," Kenny croaks, broken and bloodied and leaning heavily against
a tree, "was the same way."

Levi's grip tightens on his gun; he's afraid he'll break his fingers.

"Whether it was booze, women, or even God," he drones, eyes staring at something very far
away. "Family, the king... dreams, children... power. They couldn't keep going unless they
were drunk on something. And you!" Kenny laughs weakly, blood dribbling down his chin.
"Damn, kid, you're drunk on her."
It's the ramblings of a dead man. He knows that.

"You're a slave to her," Kenny echoes, yellowed teeth flashing with stained blood as he grins.
"And she's a slave to you. She's as ruthless as I taught you to be, kid. Smart as a whip. You
found yourself a good one."

"Shut up," Levi snaps, fingers tight around his gun. "Don't talk about her."

He laughs again. "All good things, kid. All good things. I like her."

"So nice to have your blessing," he replies dryly.

"Yeah, yeah."

And then Kenny rambles on, the topic of you dropped but going on about mission-relevant
details, things that Levi definitely should be hearing. He's hearing things, but he's not
listening; it's all a ringing in his ears.

You. All he can think about- and all the universe seems to make him think about- is you.
Saving you, worrying about you, avenging you, loving you.

And as Levi watches Kenny die, his thoughts still float back to you anyways.

You wake up to fingertips on your cheek.

The touch is so featherlight that for a moment, you think it might be an insect. You crack
your eyes open, blinking to clear up your vision, and your lips split into a smile when you see
that it's Levi. "Hey," you whisper.

His thumb skins your scarred eye. "Hey," he murmurs in return, fingers still making slow
trails along your skin. "Sleep?"

"Plenty."

You want to get up, you want to hug him and kiss him and everything that you've been
longing to do with him, but somehow, just laying here with Levi sitting next to you, petting
your face and staring at you like you're the only thing in the world, is enough. Being with
Levi, no matter what you're doing, is always enough.

Levi's fingers rise to your forehead and he starts gently running his fingers across the burn
scar at the top of your head, brushing your hair out of the way. "How'd everything go?" you
ask softly.

"Kenny's dead," Levi says, voice neutral. "So is Traute."

Your eyes open completely. Levi's hand doesn't stop moving, but his eyes have shifted so that
he's no longer staring at you. "Oh," you reply softly, not sure how to react.
His eyes flicker to yours again. "I killed Traute," he clarifies. "Kenny died all on his own."

You reach up and touch the side of Levi's face, cupping your hand against his jaw. "I'm
sorry," you murmur, your thumb stroking across the top of his cheekbone. You know that
Kenny raised him- he was his uncle. You wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of
sentimental attachment.

"I'm not," Levi replies.

So much for that, then. You let your hand fall from his face and brace both of your hands on
the bed, propping yourself up. Levi lets go of you, letting you sit yourself up on your own.

Once you've completely sat up, you reach for one of Levi's hands and lace your fingers with
his. He twists his fingers with yours. "Levi," you whisper, fed up with the emotional distance
between you two, "can you kiss me?"

Levi's other hand reaches for your face, and he leans in.

You can feel it. You can feel the same relief that you did when you were finally reunited; the
desperation and the passion that Levi had kissed you with then is the same now. His lips are
rough but oh so comforting, and his touch is heating up your skin like fire.

He pulls back, then raises your intertwined hands to his lips. Levi kisses the back of your
knuckles softly, then drops your hands to your lap.

"Historia's ceremony," he says.

You squeeze your eyes shut. You hate getting down to business, but this is the last thing,
right? The last thing on your imaginary to-do list before you can claim all has settled and you
two can finally have your down time. Right?

Every time it feels like you hit the end of the list, you both find new things. Almost like...
almost like neither of you can operate without a mission in mind.

Huh. Are you two really that hardwired?

"Historia's ceremony," you echo softly.

Levi twists, letting go of your hand and reaching to a pile of folded clothing next to him. He
unfolds it, and you're surprised by the cloak: dark green and long, typically what the military
would be wearing. They're letting the Corps wear this now? Hell, you won't complain.

Levi raises an eyebrow at you. Silent question.

"I could..." you exhale. "I could use a hand," you admit.

He nods, standing up and holding out his arm. You grab onto his forearm, clinging tight as
you swing your legs over the side of the bed. Shakily, you push your weight onto your feet.
Holding Levi turned out to be a good plan, because you nearly swoop sideways.
Levi steps in, ready to catch you, but you right yourself. "I'm okay," you insist. "Just haven't
walked in a while."

"Hurt?" he asks, eyes sweeping over your bare legs and all the way up to your recently-
blacked eye.

"No," you say. "Just sore, mostly." You notice his eyes lingering on yours, and your lips
twitch. "I haven't gotten around to looking in a mirror," you confess. "How bad is it?
Eyepatch worthy?"

Levi snorts. "Four Eyes and then No Eyes. Nice."

"We'll be a great duo," you say with a laugh, remembering that conversation that you'd had
with Hange and Levi back in your training days. Levi holds out pants and you use both the
bed and him for balance as you worm them up your legs. Your thigh doesn't hurt at all, and
you've got no problem getting them on. He slides you boots next, and you tug those on,
scrunching your toes as they hit the ends.

There's a plain shirt, and then the coat. You go to raise your arms above your head and then
wince; it's painful.

"I thought you said it didn't hurt," Levi says, catching onto your discomfort immediately.

"Well, I haven't tried to do that yet," you retort, feeling your cheeks heat up. "I'll be fine. I
can-"

With one solid tug, Levi's torn the hospital gown and yanked it off of you. Your back and
chest are bound tightly with bandages, so it's not like you're naked, but it still makes you
squeak in surprise. "Levi!" you quip.

He shrugs. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

There's an awkward pause.

Levi's throat bobs. "Well, it wasn't," he corrects quietly, eyes flickering to your back and then
to the floor.

"I..." you pause, trying to find the words. To fill the silence, Levi grabs the shirt and holds it
out for you. You struggle to pull it on. "I need to change them tonight, after I bathe," you say.
"Can you..." you have to pause again. "I want you to... I'm not trying to hide it, I just..."

"Hey." His hand touches your shoulder. "It's fine. No rush."

"No, that's not it." You sigh. "We always say... we always say that we'll discuss our own
problems after the mission is over," you murmur, meeting Levi's eyes. "And the mission...
well, it's never really over."

His expression doesn't change. "When do you think this one is over?"
You shrug loosely, and Levi hands you the coat. "I would think after Historia's crowning. But
there's still... from what Erwin told me, taking back Wall Maria is closer than ever. And
there's still my father to worry about. So we're... well, we're never done. Mission's never
over."

Levi seems to ponder this for a moment. "So we make a new mission."

"Another one?"

"We get better first," he says, his expression softening- only slightly. "That's our mission right
now. We work on us."

Crap, you're going to cry. You nod quickly. "Yeah- yeah, that's good."

"Alright."

Levi leans in and starts doing up the buttons of your cloak, doing them all the way up to the
top. Once he's done, he squeezes your shoulders lightly. "I love you," you say without
thinking.

"I know," he replies. His eyes give you a quick once over, forcing you to straighten up, and
he nods in approval. Levi reaches out and links his pinky with yours, squeezing. "I..." he
sighs. "I love you too," he says softly.

You smile weakly. "Is this a good time to mention that the whole squad is onto us?"

His eyes roll into the back of his head and his finger drops from yours. "Shit," he mumbles,
pressing a hand to his forehead.

"Well, it took them long enough," you joke. You reach for Levi's hand again and grab on.
"C'mon," you murmur. "There's no way they can't know by now. Jean and Connie were
asking me about it- they've all kind of guessed by now, and that... that kiss confirmed it."

"So it's my fault," Levi says, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Absolutely," you agree.

The corner of his mouth twitches; he squeezes your hand. "It's fine," he grumbles. "We'll
figure it out."

You smile softly. "So you're okay with it?"

Levi shoots you a look that clearly reads are you dumb? "Of course. What, you think I'm
ashamed of you or some shit?"

"No, no- I just thought you wanted to stay... private. That's all."

"I don't care," he replies. He tugs your hand and you walk after him, headed towards the door.
"I'm not going to announce it from the fucking rooftops, if that's what you mean. We have
Hange for that."
You laugh. "They would, wouldn't they?"

"Don't tempt them."

Levi lets go of your hand to open the door and holds it for you as you stumble out. You
glance left and right down the hallways and pause; you've got no idea which way to go.

His hand closes over your elbow, and Levi tugs you lightly. "This way, dumbass. Last thing
you want to do is be late."

"Right," you agree, smiling to yourself.

Levi's hand on your elbow doesn't leave until you're outside, heading towards the location of
the ceremony. All of the military (police, Corps, Garrison) are decked out in the long coats
with their corresponding emblem on the back. You hadn't noticed the wings logo on yours. It
reminds you of the scars on your back and it makes you roll your shoulders.

Historia looks gorgeous. She's got this quiet calm about her that exudes confidence,
confidence you've never really seen on her before. The whole ceremony takes a while, but the
civilians seem happy about it, which is good- a sudden change of ruler with very little prior
warning would be sure to cause some ruckus. Luckily, the whole thing seems to go off
without a hitch.

When it's over, Levi starts walking back to the Survey Corps headquarters, and you're quick
to follow suit. It's finally time, time to talk and open up and hopefully squash a lot of the little
issues that have been prying you apart.

Of course, you don't get there right away. No sooner have you stepped up into one of the
hallways do you see the rest of Squad Levi wandering towards you- Historia included.

"They're noisy," Levi complains, wrinkling his nose.

"They've been through a lot," you defend, smiling when you see how happy they are. It
definitely looks like their spirits are high. "Give them a break."

He rolls his eyes. "Doesn't mean they can be annoyingly loud."

"You're such a grump," you tease.

Levi snorts but doesn't reply, instead turning his gaze to the oncoming group of teenagers.
They've got their eyes set on the pair of you, and Historia's got a fire in her gaze that tells you
she's up to something.

Sure enough, she starts to yell. "Aaaah!" Historia cries, and to your surprise, she charges past
you and drives her fist into Levi's side. Levi barely moves, but you can see the amused lilt in
his eyes. "Whatcha think of that?" Historia demands, backing up towards the rest of the squad
and raising her hands into fists. "I'm the queen now! If you've got beef with me-"

She stops. Her, and the rest of Squad Levi, stand stupidly with their eyes blown wide and
their jaws dropped.
You glance at Levi and you can't help but grin when you see the smile on his face. You've
only seen him smile like that a few times, but that just makes it all the more meaningful when
he does. "Thanks, you guys," Levi says.

Your friends are uncharacteristically silent. Eren looks like he's been slapped.

"What, you've never seen a guy smile before?" you tease, looking from Levi to the rest of
your squad.

"No, we haven't!" Connie protests, recovering first.

"That was scary," Sasha mutters from beside him.

Levi's smile fades and his usual expression slips in; the rest of the scouts relax. There's an
awkward pause, and your friends aren't very good at hiding their anticipation: Armin's eyes
are flickering back and forth between the two of you, his lips twitching, while Jean and
Connie are both punching each other and whispering. You can vaguely make out, "you ask."
"No, you ask!"

You glance sideways at Levi, smiling to yourself. This is probably the best place for this- and
you'd like Levi to be the one to say it.

Levi meets your eyes, and he sighs. "Fine, you fucking brats," he snaps, glaring at your
friends. "You all want to know?"

There's a bunch of vigorous nodding.

"Logan and I are together. Any questions?" Levi doesn't even pause before he adds, "good.
We're done here."

"What?!" Eren cries in surprise, eyes wider than dinner plates. Mikasa's only smiling softly,
first at you, and then at Eren.

"You're so dense, Eren!" Jean snaps. "It's obvious!"

"To who?!"

"Anyone with eyes," Armin replies.

"Hey!"

"Wait!" Sasha pleads. "We have questions!"

"Question period is over," Levi remarks, and he turns to head off down the hallway. Grinning
to yourself, you turn to match pace with him, a bit of a bounce to your step.

"You gave us no time!" Jean splutters.

They don't walk after you- probably recognizing that you're headed somewhere private- but
you still hear Connie call, "wait, this is important! When did this start?"
You pause and turn around. Levi takes maybe two more steps before he stops as well. "You
guys have a bet on this," you say slowly, "don't you?"

"Yes," Connie admits, unashamed. The rest of Squad Levi nod along (except for Eren, who
seems genuinely baffled). "So when?"

You glance at Levi, who rolls his eyes, then back to your squad. With a smile on your face,
you turn to Armin, who you're betting has the best guess. "What's your guess?" you call to
him.

Armin grins. "End of year two of training!"

Well... depends on what you define as the start. Apparently, it could be argued that you two
had feelings before your amnesia- of course, nothing really came out of that. Your first kiss
had been... midway through year two, closer towards the end. That second kiss, angry and
passionate, had been following the recruitment speeches for the year above you. Yeah, that
makes sense, because the visit after, the two of you talked it through. Can you count that as
the beginning?

You glance at Levi, and you're surprised when he says, "beginning of year three, but close
enough."

So he counts the beginning of your relationship around the same time you do. "You
remember," you say softly, smiling.

He shoots you a weird look. "You didn't think I would? Dumbass."

"Oh, shut up."

"The hell, Armin?" you hear Jean snap, and he seizes the blond boy's shoulders to shake him
back and forth. "How'd you get that?"

"Mikasa was close," Historia adds.

"Mikasa! You were in on this?" Eren asks, betrayed. "How come no one told me?"

"You're denser than a pile of bricks, you numbskull."

"What was that?!"

"For fuck's sake," Levi grumbles, turning around again and heading back down the hall.
Grinning, you head after him, leaving your friends to squabble behind you. As soon as you
round the corner, you reach for Levi's hand; he takes yours immediately, squeezing tight.

You glance at your partner and to your delight, he's smiling.

Squeezing onto his hand, the two of you head down the hallway, taking a flight of stairs and a
few corners until you're at Levi's room. As soon as he opens the door, the familiar smell hits
you, and you sigh happily. "I love your room," you murmur happily.
"Because it's the only one in this place that's clean?" Levi replies, pulling off his coat as he
steps inside.

You roll your eyes, following suit. "Because it smells like you."

He closes the door and sets his coat over the chair. You pass him yours and he does the same.
He's wearing a collared shirt underneath, and he starts rolling up the sleeves. "Hungry?" Levi
asks.

You shake your head. "No. You?"

"No."

Levi nods. You hug your arms around yourself, not really for warmth but more for personal
comfort. Levi steps by you, heading to his bed, and he sits himself down, scooting backwards
until his back is against the wall and his legs are kicked out across the mattress.

He raises an eyebrow at you, and you follow suit. You hop up onto Levi's bed, sliding
backwards until your back is against the wall and you're shoulder-to-shoulder with Levi. You
adjust slightly, getting comfortable on the mattress. Your leg presses up right next to Levi's,
snug.

You reach for his hand. Levi laces his fingers with yours and lets them rest on his thigh.
Sighing softly, you tilt your head until you're leaning against Levi's shoulder.

Levi leans his head gently against yours. "It's too early for stars," he murmurs.

"Yeah," you whisper.

Comfortable silence falls between the two of you. Levi's thumb absently traces circles on
your hand as you ponder what to say first. You can tell Levi's waiting for you to speak on
your own, but you're having trouble with where to start.

It's quiet for another minute before you murmur, "no matter what I say, you're always going
to blame yourself, aren't you?"

Levi doesn't reply. His thumb continues to draw on your skin.

Well, that was sort of a given. "What about something you can't blame yourself for?" you
muse, thinking of something that's sort of been plaguing your nightmares for weeks.

"Try me," Levi grumbles.

"...Reiner tried to eat me."

The circles on your hand stop.

There's a long pause before Levi lets out a strangled, "...what?"

"We, uh..." Levi's hand squeezes yours hard enough to bruise. You don't mention it. "When
you were off for your ankle injury and... you know, I came back with those burns," you say,
free hand rising to touch the top of your forehead. "We had to get Eren back. I tried going
after Bertolt and Reiner- he transformed into the armored titan at the time- he sort of...
trapped me in his mouth?"

Levi is deadly silent- so he's either in shock or angry. Or both.

"I used my gear to hook into the inside of his mouth," you add, trying to detail how you got
out of it so that Levi knows you were fine. "I wasn't going anywhere. I sort of screamed
bloody murder at Reiner and Bertolt for a bit until he opened his mouth and I jumped out."

"...you jumped out of his mouth," Levi repeats slowly.

Shit. He's definitely mad. "I'm fine," you say. "No injuries from that, really."

He's quiet for a few moments longer before he mutters, "I'm dating a fucking psychopath."

Your lips twitch. "Sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were preoccupied," you say, but you backtrack quickly. "No, I mean we had other
priorities. Like there weren't any injuries from that but Erwin had lost his arm, so... well,
nothing that was your fault. And I guess I... I guess I just tried to suppress it afterwards."

Levi hums in return. "How well'd that work out?"

You pinch your lips together and don't reply.

He gets the message and starts drawing patterns onto your hand again. "Nightmares," he
assumes, and you don't correct him. "You should've told me."

"We all have nightmares."

"And yours matter to me."

You sigh softly, burrowing your forehead into his neck. "Yours matter to me too," you say,
voice muffles by his skin. "Have you had any?"

Levi snorts softly. "Of course." There's a pause. "Not as many as usual," he admits quietly.
"And a lot of the old ones don't come up anymore."

"Old ones?"

"You losing your memory." You swallow hard, giving Levi's palm a quick squeeze. "There
weren't as many of you," Levi continues. "Not as many of you dying, or... or of me losing
you. But when you were taken..." he exhales. "I didn't sleep at all because I knew those
nightmares would be like nothing I've ever had before."
Fair. If it hadn't been for passing out from pain, you're not sure you would've wanted to sleep
either.

He squeezes your palm. "You?"

You open your mouth, then close it again. "Being trapped in Reiner's mouth," you say quietly.
"Being completely helpless. That scared me."

Levi shifts closer to you.

"I haven't really, well... it hasn't been long since I've been free, but I'm hoping the under the
table nightmare will be gone now that I know who it was," you continue. "Although I'm
worried about having... having new flashback nightmares. I guess I'll have to take those as
they come. The, uh... the cold metal table that they strapped me to so that they could torture
me."

There's one more. Tears prick your eyes.

"Getting kidnapped again," you say in a very small voice.

Levi twists, and you feel his lips press to the top of your head. He holds himself there.

"I hated being in the hospital," you force out, heat stinging at your eyes, "because I was
alone. I kept worrying that- that someone was going to come in and try and take me. I know I
can... I can handle myself," you say a bit more firmly, "but he's- my dad's still out there. So
who knows."

"Then I'm never leaving you alone, ever," Levi mumbles into your hair.

You smile weakly. "You don't have to do that."

"I want to."

"It'll help your guilt?"

You know his guilt isn't- and probably never will be- at the point of vanishing. It'll never go
away. The best you can do is ease the burden as much as you can. "It will," Levi murmurs.

You nod, forehead rocking against his collarbone. "Okay."

"And I'm going to kill your father."

There's a pause. You're not quite sure how to respond.

Levi eventually adds, "...if you're okay with that."

"Are you kidding?" you say in surprise. "You're more than welcome. I just want to tag along."

He chuckles quietly, kissing your forehead. Silence ensues. It feel like a giant burden has
been lifted from your shoulders, and you haven't even talked about your torture session- yet.
Discussing nightmares and how best to help you both going forward is all you've talked
about, but it's been such an immense relief already. You'd been nervous, but you're not sure
why. You should've known Levi would understand.

"And I'm going to kill Reiner."

"...of course."

You smile to yourself as you inhale, taking in Levi's familiar scent. He took the Reiner
incident a lot better than you'd expected- you thought he would've been more mad at you.
That conversation went as well as you could've hoped.

Just one last large hurdle: your back. Fuck, you haven't even seen it yet. You trust Levi,
though. You know he'll blame himself but you know he'll do it regardless of what he sees.
You inhale slowly, then exhale.

Yeah. Time to look.

You slowly pull yourself away from Levi, sitting up. He turns to look at you, raising an
eyebrow questionably. "I need to..." you exhale. "I need to clean myself up," you start. "So I
need to... I need to undo these." You reach to the bandages under your shirt, fingertips
pressing into the wrappings.

Levi's throat bobs. "Okay."

There's an awkward pause.

"Do you..." he trails off. "Do you want me to help?"

"Yes," you say. Then, you squeeze your eyes shut. "No. I mean, yes, but... I want to see how
bad it is first."

He nods. "Yeah. Okay."

Both of you sit there for a minute, unmoving. Finally, you pull yourself off of the bed. You
move to let go of Levi's hand, but he comes with you instead, walking you up to the doorway
to his private bathroom- god, you love his perks of being a corporal. He pulls the door open
for you and you step inside, only letting go of his hand so that his arm doesn't get trapped in
the door.

Levi nods to you once more. It's a silent message.

I'm right here.

You smile weakly and close the door.

Inhale, then exhale. You give yourself a minute to collect your thoughts, to try and keep
yourself calm. It's not a big deal; Levi's right on the other side of the door to help you handle
it. You'll take a look, bathe quickly, then pop back out and cuddle with Levi.
It's painful and it takes you a while, but you get your shirt off. Having your arms raised above
your head hurts and makes your shoulders ache. Eventually, you get your shirt pulled off and
you drop it down to the ground, uncaring.

Slowly, you start unwinding bandages. The doctors had a lot of your back to cover, so there's
plenty to undo. You face the mirror, glaring at your front as you peel off the bandages. They
form a pile around your feet, heaping together. As your chest becomes exposed, you hug an
arm around your breasts, fighting off the chill.

The last of the bandages drops.

With a sharp breath, you turn your back towards the mirror and crane your neck over your
shoulder.

Tears pierce your eyes almost immediately.

...well, Traute had said she wanted to do wings.

It's bad. Erwin wasn't kidding when he said it was graphic. It's a lot of messy, jagged lines
that extend from your spine out towards your sides. There's a curve to all of them, angling
slightly upwards. Some are shorter, only making it halfway, while others look like they're
starting to wrap around the sides of your ribs.

All of the scars are an angry red shade. Some are deeper while others look like they've
already started fading in color. Some are split into chunks, like Traute stopped and then
continued it messily.

Twenty six lines in total. Hey, at least she made it even.

You try to breathe and your throat feels like it's swollen closed. You nearly choke as the curse
comes up without thinking: "fuck."

"L?" Levi says immediately, voice muffled by the door.

You pinch your lips together firmly, trying to keep yourself under control. "Fine," you croak
out. "Fine. Just give- give me a minute."

No reply from Levi, so you take your time. You close your eyes and let yourself readjust, the
spider web of red lines flashing behind your eyelids. When you can't banish the image, you
open your eyes and glare at your back again, trying to get used to it. You have to live with it;
you damn well need to get used to it.

Wings. It looks like you've got wings.

Another minute of silence passes. You hear a shift outside; Levi must be restless. Trembling,
you reach for the doorknob and twist.

The door cracks open. Levi immediately steps into view, eyes wide with alert. He raises his
eyebrows, and you think you see the tips of his ears go red- you're betting he didn't expect to
see you topless. Ah, well, he's seen you naked before. It's not your concern at the moment.
You pull both arms snug across your breasts, hiding as much of them as you can from view.
"What you see," you start shakily, "isn't your fault."

Levi frowns.

You wait.

"It's not my fault," he forces out. You can see he doesn't believe it, but that's the best you can
hope for right now anyways. "L," Levi adds, eyebrow narrowing. "You don't-"

"It's okay," you choke out.

You turn your back towards Levi. It kind of helps, facing away from him so that you can't see
the look on his face, but knowing what he's looking at isn't helping. You can't even think of
anything else that you can say that would make you (or him) feel any better.

It feels like you're trembling like a leaf, shaking so much that there's no way Levi can't see it.
It's not just the chill of the air on your exposed back, but it's the fact Levi has said absolutely
nothing and you've got no idea what he's thinking.

You try not to move. Your knees feel like they're going to cave out from under you.

Levi's hand touches your hip and you nearly flinch. You hear him take a step closer and you
will yourself to stay completely still. His other hand finds purchase on your other hip, like he
understands you're shaky and he needs to keep you anchored.

Then, his lips touch the top of one of your scars.

It's enough to spark tears in your eyes. You raise one hand to clap it over your mouth, trying
to swallow your emotions and keep yourself under control. When he hits the end of one scar,
he moves to the next one, mouth gently pressing to the tip of the scar and slowly following it
into the center of your back. Levi's lips travel across your back, gently kissing every single
long, fucked up line that Traute carved into your back, all the way to your spinal cord.

You can't even find words. You can't think of anything to say without bursting into tears.

He takes his time. Levi's thumbs press into your lower back, keeping you rooted at your hips.
By the time he's gone through every scar, you feel Levi's lips linger at the base of your back,
just above your belt line, before he pulls away.

"Hey," he says softly.

His hands twist you gently, and you let him spin you around until you're facing him. Your
arms are crossed over your chest, one hand over your mouth, biting the inside of your cheek
so hard that you can taste blood.

Levi's expression is unreadable, but his actions help you pick up clues. His hands move up to
your face, gently cupping your jaw. One of his thumbs swipes a stray tear from your eye. His
hands are trembling, like he's afraid to hold you.
"You," Levi whispers, "are so brave."

You choke back a sob.

"Never," he continues, eyes searching yours, "feel like you have to hide this from me. Ever."
He pulls your head towards him, and his lips touch your forehead. "I'm sorry if I made you
feel like you couldn't come to me about this."

Christ, he's so sweet, you're going to melt. "It's not that," you whisper immediately, not
wanting Levi to think that you find him unapproachable. Levi is generally cold and sheltered
and gives off a strong vibe that indicates no one should come near, but you know what he's
actually like. You know how much he cares, and you know he's softer than anyone will ever
know. "Not at all, Levi, I..." you pinch your lips together. "I didn't want you to blame
yourself- so I didn't want to burden you with this."

He shakes his head. "You never could."

"I know, but..."

You trail off. Levi pulls your face towards him and he kisses you briefly. "No. You're not a
burden. This is the shit I signed up for." He pulls back and raises an eyebrow at you. "Say it
again and I'll beat it out of you."

You can't help it; you chuckle weakly. "Okay."

"Good."

"But you'll... I don't want you to keep blaming yourself."

Levi exhales slowly, hands resting on either side of your face. "I took responsibility for you a
long time ago," he says quietly. "So anything that happens to you is something I'm going to
take responsibility for. I'll pick the choice I'll regret the least, but if it leads to you getting
injured, I'll blame myself for it- which I should be doing, because it was my choice that got
you there."

"Even if the other choice would've made it worse?" You blink twice, pushing back tears.
"What if it was inevitable?"

"I can't accept that," Levi says immediately.

"Levi, you... you have to," you protest gently. "I'm fighting with you. Things are going to
happen, and sometimes there's nothing you can do about it."

His jaw locks. "Says who?"

You shrug. "Says... fate, I guess."

"Then I'll fight fate." Levi kisses you on the forehead. "I'll fight fate, and I'll win."

You can't help but laugh. "Levi, fate's not something you can fight."
"Try me." He exhales quietly, looking at you with a pain in his eyes that you recognize-
you've seen it in the mirror. "L," Levi says softly, "I can't lose you. I can't."

You swallow hard, tears pricking your eyes. You nod.

He pulls you towards him, arms wrapping around your shoulders, and you sink against his
chest, trembling arms going around his waist. Your eyes are blurry with moisture so you
squeeze them shut, inhaling Levi's comforting scent and trying to relax against his chest.

Several minutes go by where neither of you move. You keep your eyes closed, enjoying the
familiar comfort that Levi always gives you.

God, you love him so much that it's physically painful.

Eventually, Levi speaks up, and his words heat up your skin. "Let me help you."

So, you do.

Levi guides you into the bathroom and starts running hot water as you strip off your pants
and boot, getting rid of the rest of your clothing. Despite having already seen all of you, Levi
still respects your privacy and turns away as you slip into the water. Once you're settled, Levi
puts himself in charge of bathing you. His fingers are dainty across your scars and oh so soft
through your hair.

Your bath feels like it lasts for hours. Levi doesn't say a word; he just massages you and
slides soap across your skin and carefully tends to your scars. When you're done, he helps pat
you down and dry out your hair, being more gentle than ever.

"Bandages?" he asks quietly.

You think for a long minute. "Please."

He's unbelievably gentle with that as well. Levi's fingers run across your skin like feathers as
he winds the bandages around you, covering your back and going across your chest. He takes
his time, ensuring that he's doing it right, and you're left wondering what you ever did to
deserve him.

You change into fresh underwear and loose pants (the stash you've been leaving at Levi's
place seems to steadily increase in size with every visit) and Levi actually lifts you into his
bed, ignoring your diligent complaints that you can do it yourself. He strips himself of his
shirt and lays down next to you, pulling his blanket up to cover you both.

Levi's head falls against the pillow, his onyx hair spilling into his eyes. "Mission
accomplished?" he asks.

Your lips twitch as you remember what you two had talked about in the hospital room. "I
don't think that's a mission that'll ever be accomplished," you admit bitterly.

He thinks for a moment. "Phase one?"

 You smile. "Phase one."

Levi smiles, soft and genuine, and he pulls you towards him. You curl yourself in against
Levi's chest, your cheek against his skin, which feels hot underneath you. One of his hands
tangles up into your hair, fingertips pressing gently at your scalp.

"We'll work on it," you promise. "The mission."

He hums in response.

The two of you drift off together, hearts and shoulders light. Sleep claims you almost
immediately, letting your brain float away and your body sink into unconsciousness.

You're gifted with no nightmares.

Chapter End Notes

Hello my new friends! I discovered the source of my kudos thanks to a wonderful

TikTok on my fyp- tallwitchy, I love you. I've told you at least three times now and I'm
telling you again: you're an angel.

If you're new: hi! I update this fic on Friday mornings (EST) and I have yet to miss an
update, so unless I say otherwise you can definitely expect one.

I just started my new internship this week!! This one is already looking a lot better than
my last. If you've read No Funny Business, then you know that story was birthed
because of how painfully boring my last internship was and how awful my boss was.
Who knows- maybe this new one will rattle some creative bones. No Funny Business
sequel?... ;)

Thank you guys. I'll never be able to say it enough, but you all make my world go
round. Thank you all for your love and support. <3
 3-7
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The next few days are awful.

One night, your dreams are especially bad, and you wake up in a frenzy. You shove Levi's
arm off of you and nearly roll yourself off the bed in your panic. Levi stirs and you jump off
of the mattress, stumbling away to the far side of the room and smacking your hip off the
desk.

Traute had you. She had a hand around your throat and was starting to slice into your
stomach, blood was running down your body and-

"L!" Levi hisses, suddenly wide awake. "Snap out of it!"

You don't right away. It takes you a minute to gather your surroundings, to figure out where
you are. When your vision comes into focus, you see Levi's hopped off the bed, standing a
foot away from you and watching you warily, like he's afraid to close the distance.

Your eyes swim with tears. "I'm sorry," you stammer immediately. "I'm so sorry-"

Realizing that you've snapped out of your night terror, Levi steps forward and pulls you
towards him, effectively shutting you up. His arms go around your shoulders, being mindful
of your back. You shudder against his chest, squeezing your eyes shut and clinging onto him
to keep yourself grounded. What's gotten into you? That'd been painfully vivid, sure, but you
never should've reacted so badly. That was unlike anything you've felt before.

"What was it?" Levi murmurs in your ear.

You don't speak. You don't want to say it; you're afraid that speaking it will make it come
true.

"L," he whispers. "It's just me."

Just me.

"Traute," you force out. "She was- she was cutting me-"

"Traute's dead," Levi interrupts, and he pulls back from you. With your face gently cupped in
his hands, his thumbs brush under your eyes, getting rid of some of your tears. "I killed her. I
promise you, she's gone. Alright?"

You reach up, cupping one of your hands over his. You don't reply.

"She's gone," he repeats. "Say it."

"She's gone," you whisper.

He nods. "Come on."

Slowly, Levi coaxes you back into his bed. You curl up against his chest, blinking rapidly as
he settles you both in and pulls up one of his sheets to cover you both.

"I don't want to sleep," you say quietly.

"That's fine," he murmurs.

So you don't. And neither does he.

That, luckily, was the worst of it.

After that, managing your nightmares gets easier. Levi always wakes up with you, and he
always helps you through it, even if it means he doesn't sleep at all that night. He stays true to
his word and spends the first few days by your side, nonstop. Eventually, only after
confirming that you'll be okay, he starts leaving for short periods of time: grabbing tea for
you both, heading to meet Erwin, meetings with the MPs.

You don't want to be reliant on him. You can't be. So you start getting back into your routine
with some of the others.

Your procedure is roughly the same every day. Wake up, eat, socialize, appointments. The
doctors insisted no training, and for once, you're willing to comply; no one else will train
with you anyways because of the doctor's orders and training on your own isn't very
appealing anymore. You eat with Hange in the afternoons, enjoying your recovery time
together. You find the rest of Squad Levi and watch their training sessions.

In the evenings, you stargaze with Levi. You two talk. And then you go to bed together.

You make it a point to keep up with your 'mission': taking time for each other. When you
wake up with nightmares, Levi's right next to you, holding you and waiting until you're ready
to talk about it. When Levi's being uncharacteristically restless, you're there to listen to him
for as long as he'll talk.

It's a work in progress. But every night is a little bit better, and every day you're a little bit
more in love with Levi.

Every day, everything gets a bit easier.

...until one day, Moblit needs to talk to you.

"What'd you need me for?" you ask as you wander into the meeting room. He's got a
sketchpad and drawing tools set out in front of him. "Don't tell me I'm doing association
exercises. I've exhausted my brain of those."
Moblit grins. "I heard you successfully terrorized- what was his name, Tanner?- when he was
trying to help you out."

"Really? Then mission accomplished."

"Actually," Moblit continues, hand reaching for one of his tools, "I'm here to help you make a
sketch of- of the man that attacked you back in HQ. Hange said he was your father?"

Your mouth feels very dry. "Y- yeah. Sure. Why now?"

"Request of Corporal Levi," he says. "We're just starting our movements to get a lot of the
orphaned kids out of the underground, and I think the Captain's theory is that your father is
hiding out underground and he wants the soldiers going down there to be on the lookout."

Makes sense. That's Levi, always thinking ahead. "Works for me," you agree. "Is psychotic,
aggressive asshole enough of a description?"

Moblit smiles thinly. "Not really."

"Fine then."

Describing Willem turns out to be harder than you thought. You keep getting stuck on the
crazed look in his eyes that he always seems to have, the deranged lunacy that makes your
skin crawl. Eventually, you manage to force out a better description, with Moblit diligently
sketching in front of you.

When he's got a rough sketch done, he shows it to you, and you build from there. Sharper
jaw, eyes more narrow, larger forehead. It's easier to do it when you've got the template in
front of you. Moblit did his eyes justice; there's a fervor drawn in them that's scarily similar.

"You're good," you compliment once Moblit's done with his sketch. "That's pretty bang on."

He shrugs. "I like sketching."

Your lips twitch. "Is that why Hange keeps you around? You can draw out their crazy ideas?"

Moblit laughs. "Sometimes, I think so." His smile slips into something softer. "But their ideas
are always fun," he says. "I enjoy drawing them. And hearing Hange talk is something I
could do for hours."

The sweetness of the statement makes your heart sing in your chest. "Hange's lucky to have
you," you say.

"I'm lucky to have them," Moblit replies.

There's a comfortable pause for a moment before you ask, "speaking of, what are they up to
today?"

"The usual mayhem, I think. Want to see them?"

"Yeah, please."

"Sure! I'll send them down." Moblit stands up from his seat, gathering up all of his tools. You
purse your lips; you've been getting a lot of this treatment lately. People insisting you don't
need to move if you don't have to, making life easier for you. Like you're fragile. You're not,
but you'll take the breaks where you can get them. "I'll get Hange to bring tea or something."

"Tea is good," you agree. "Thanks, Moblit."

"Of course. You okay being here on your own?"

You're much better with it now. Your friends had been nothing but supportive, accompanying
you just about everywhere, but you're getting used to being alone again. You're at Survey
Corps HQ; nothing is going to happen to you here. "I'll be fine," you confirm. "Thanks."

Moblit leaves, closing the door gently behind him, and you roll your shoulders with a sigh.
Nothing really hurts anymore, but everything's still a bit stiff. You want to get back to
sparring but it seems like everyone's too afraid of injuring you.

The thought makes you snort. Yeah, like they could.

Hange bustles in a few minutes later with a tray, carefully balancing a pot, cups, and a few
small dishes for sugar and milk. "Logan!" they greet cheerily, and the pot nearly teeters off of
the tray. "How're you on this fine morning?"

"Pretty good," you say, standing up to reach for the tray. "You?"

"No! No, don't get up, I've got this." Hange steadies themself, and eventually, the cups stop
rattling. "I'm good!" they say eventually, setting the tray down. "Another day, another hour
spent with my dearest girlfriend."

You roll your eyes. Hange's been meeting up with you pretty regularly ever since this whole
fiasco blew over, and it's been wonderful. Having someone else to talk to that's not Levi is
really helpful sometimes, and Hange's a great listener.

"Thank you," you say as they pour out tea for you. "What's on today's schedule for you? I've
got a doctor's follow up today."

"Shopping!" Hange replies enthusiastically. "I'm headed deep into the city to meet up with
some officials and they've got a great marketplace."

You perk up. "Can I come?"

Their smile wanes. "It's a two hour ride each way," they confess, "and the meeting with the
officials is going to take a while. You can come, but..."

"Won't have much fun," you conclude. That's fine; two hours of riding each way isn't exactly
your ideal afternoon. "No worries. I'm sure you'll have fun."

"Blegh- no way. Shopping, yes! Meetings, no."

You roll your eyes. "Is Levi going with you?"

Hange shrugs. "No idea. That little man's been running around, backing Historia up- sorry,
the Queen- with her orphanage plans. He's been seeing a lot of Pixis and Zackly lately too.
Probably driving him nuts."

"Absolutely," you confirm. "He complains about everyone for at least ten minutes every
night."

They laugh. "Hey, at least he's talking. I thought he hated talking."

"Well, it's actually been going pretty great. The talking bit," you clarify, sipping your tea.
"He's more open than I expected."

"Really?" Hange grins. "So you two are doing well?"

You nod, smiling. "Better than ever. We've been setting aside time every night to just... talk, I
guess. I never expected it to go this well, but..." you sigh. "It's so nice. It really is. He's
wonderful."

"You two are adorable!" Hange swoons, and you laugh. "Levi, talking. Never thought I'd see
the day. So you're doing better, then?"

"I am," you confirm. You've told Hange about the whole kidnapping escapade; they know
what happened to you and you've shown them the scars on your back. Levi had suggested
having someone else to talk to, and Erwin had just felt much too awkward, so Hange was a
perfect choice. "Not perfect, obviously," you say. "It's only been a month. But... I never
expected it to go this well. I'm... I'm a lot better."

"Amazing," Hange says softly, and your smile widens. "Exceeding all expectations. That's
just what you two do, huh?"

You shrug modestly. "Guess so. Well, I am dating humanity's strongest."

"Strongest man," they correct, gulping down some of their tea. They grimace. "Hot!
Anyways. You know, some call you humanity's strongest woman."

The phrase makes you tense up, but you hide it with humor. "Only time I heard that was
when I was captured," you joke weakly.

Hange grins. "Well, it's a thing! I've been in plenty of meetings with the MPs and I get to
listen to them gossip. That's what they call you. Apparently after you rode in to fight off
Bertolt and Reiner, the nickname really took off. Fearless, that's what you are."

Not anymore, unfortunately. "Nice sentiment," you murmur.

"Ah, well, you've personally threatened at least half of the military at this point."

That makes you laugh. "They're a bunch of useless pigs," you say honestly, sipping your tea.
"Only thing they know how to do is talk."
Hange laughs. "Now you sound like Levi."

You shrug, smiling to yourself. "He rubs off on me."

"Oh, does he? Nice word choice."

"Oh, come on, Hange. That's not what I meant."

"Isn't it, though?" They wiggle their eyebrows devilishly and you roll your eyes. You can feel
your cheeks heat up from the insinuation. "Aw, c'mon, I know life's busy but there's no way
you two haven't boned yet."

"Hange," you scold. "That's so crude."

"What? I just need to know if I'm going to see any little Levis running around any time
soon."

You choke, tea stinging your throat as you cough. "Hange!"

"What?!"

You scowl, pounding your fist against your chest to stop yourself from choking. Eventually,
your body calms down, and you take a very long drink of your tea.

Hange leans forward. "I'm not hearing any denial..."

Angrily, you sip your tea again.

"Oh my god!" they shriek, and you nearly drop your cup. "What?! You have! Oh my god, I
need all the details. Is he any good? Did all of his height really go to-"

"Hange!" you snap. Your face feels like it's on fire. "No!"

"No, his height didn't go to his dick?"

"No- yes- no- fuck!"

"Oh my god," Hange says in awe as you slump against the table, forehead going straight into
the wood. "Look at you, he's fucked you dumb."

You groan.

"Wait, are you taking contraceptives?"

"...no."

"So we should be expecting little Levis!"

"No," you say again. You pick your head up from the table, sighing. "I got my period again,
so it's fine," you clarify, waving a hand. "I've been meaning to. But I guess- well, with
everything going on right now, and..." Your voice drops. "We haven't done anything in a
while," you admit. "Not with all of the healing we've been trying to do."

Hange nods sympathetically. "Say no more," they say brightly. "When I'm in the marketplace
today, I'll pick up something from the pharmacy doc or whoever."

You straighten up. "Really?"

"Of course! I joke about little Levis but honestly, can you imagine how terrifying that would
be?" You can't help but smile, and Hange grins along with you. "Alright. I know they do this
herbal remedy thing- not quite sure how it works, but it works. I'll pick some up for you."

"Thank you," you say gratefully. The thought has definitely crossed your mind but you've
never really vocalized it- it's nice to talk about. "I appreciate it."

Hange waves you off. "Anytime!" They drain the last of their tea. "Alright. I'd love to stay
with you, but I've got some things I should take care of before I go. Is that cool with you?"

"Of course, don't let me keep you."

"Perfect!"

You help Hange pile the cups back onto the tray. "Have a safe trip," you add as they head to
the door.

"We will!" Hange calls, door shutting behind them.

You pause.

We?

"Levi!"

"Now what?"

"You're coming on my trip into town today."

Levi shoots Hange a glare. "I've got enough shit to do," he scowls, glaring down at the
mission reports in front of him before he turns back up to them. "Why the hell would I come
meet some stupid military pigs with you?"

"Because we need to get your girlfriend some contraceptives!"

There's a pause.

Levi slowly turns his head up from his work to Hange, who's bouncing from foot to foot in
the doorway. Their grin is moderately sheepish but there's a twinkle in their eye.

For a while, neither of them say a word.

Eventually, Levi forces out, "what?"

"C'mon! We're leaving in ten minutes."

"Hange-"

But Hange's already gone, door closed behind them and footsteps echoing away down the
hallway. Levi stares at the door in shock for a moment. He's grateful that Hange's been such a
good friend to you- he knows you need people to rely on, and Hange's perfect- but... now
Hange's in charge of your sex protection?

Levi uses every single curse word in his vocabulary as he stands up to head after Hange.

Your doctor's appointments have been a weekly thing. It used to be more frequent, but now
it's just a brief check up to make sure the scars are healing properly and you're not in any
discomfort. There's a little bit of physio as well, with doctors leading you through exercises
that'll help your back mobility, but it's easy enough.

While you're at the hospital, you decide to pay a quick visit to a friend.

"Hi," you greet, footsteps light in the courtyard grass as you head towards the bench. "Feeling
well?"

"Better," Mike replies, shifting his wheelchair so that he's next to you when you sit down.
"Yourself?"

"Better," you echo.

This isn't the first time you've seen Mike since his injury, but the last time hardly counts-
you'd ran into each other in the hallway while you were heading between sessions. It'd been a
brief conversation but a welcome one, and you'd promised to make an effort to catch up with
him the next time you came.

So here you are, out on a park bench in a small courtyard with other medical patients
wandering around. It's much nicer than the first hospital you were at- the one you woke up in.

"How's the Captain?" Mike asks.

"Good," you reply. "He's working with the Queen right now to help organize the effort to get
orphans out of the underground, so it's keeping him busy."

He hums knowingly. "Didn't he grow up underground?"

"Yeah."

Mike nods along. "And Hange?"

You can't help but smile. "As good as always," you say with a roll of your eyes. "I've been
seeing a lot of them, which is nice, as long as it's not for too long. Hange is best in-"

"In small doses," he finishes, and you laugh. "I'm aware."

"Ah, well. It's nice." Your eyes fixate on a child running across the lawn; they've got a ball in
their hands. "I can't remember the last time we had this much downtime," you admit.

"Well, I'm sure it's not really downtime."

You sigh. "Yeah. They're all busy. Last I heard, they're using Eren's new hardening abilities to
make some sort of titan weapon at the wall. It's only a break for me and you, really."

"True," Mike agrees. "Wall Maria?"

"Closer than ever," you report, thinking of what Levi's been telling you. "Now that Eren can
harden. Levi is..." you purse your lips. "I know he's busy. But he's always so busy, going from
meeting to meeting with Erwin and then out to the front lines to work with Eren, and then
training his squad again."

"You wish he wasn't as busy?"

You shake your head.

"Ah," Mike realizes, nodding. "You wish you were as busy as he is."

"Yeah." Your eyes flicker to his wheelchair. "I bet you do too, sometimes."

"Sometimes," he agrees. His eyes are drawn to the same kid that you were looking at, rolling
in the grass. "Sometimes, it's nice not to think about it. But I know I'd rather be making a
difference."

You nod along. "Any news on when you'll be up and about?"

He shrugs, looking down to his legs. You remember that the doctors had been discussing
amputation as an option; thankfully, they never went through with it. "Another month until
this leg is fine. The other's going to take much longer."

"But it'll heal?"

"They say I'll limp. But yes, I should be able to walk again."

You smile to yourself. You're happy that saving Mike didn't lead to condemning him to a
wheelchair for the rest of his life. "Congratulations," you say softly. "That must be huge."

"All thanks to you."

"Enough with that."

Mike smiles. "One day, I'll pay you back for that."
You smile in return. "I'm sure you will."

The ride is painfully long, and then the meeting is ridiculous. Levi curses himself in his head;
he's gotten to used to working with people that are somewhat competent that he's forgotten
how stupid some people actually are.

And then Hange drags him to some sort of pharmacist.

Well... it's not like he hasn't been thinking about it. Sex, that is. And obviously, you two need
safety going forwards. But healing has been your priority right now, so he hasn't brought it
up. In a way, he's grateful for Hange's proactiveness; at the same time, he wants to throw
them off the top of the wall.

Either way, they get the contraceptives. It's painful and awkward.

Hange decides to drag him into the marketplace, claiming they won't be too long. There's
several different stalls of merchants trying to sell various things: food, flowers, trinkets and
the like. It's busy with people, more people than Levi likes to tolerate, but at this point he just
wants to get home to you and he'll do whatever he needs to so that Hange can finish up faster.

Levi trails after Hange, letting his eyes skim over the items for sale. He remembers this as
one of the most intriguing things from moving up from the underground; these merchants are
relaxed and welcoming. Underground, the merchants were always on guard because they had
to be. People would steal from them all the time- himself included.

His eyes catch on something, and Levi pauses.

It's some sort of jewelry stand: cords with little metal charms. The one that's caught his eye is
a small sheet of metal carved out in the shape of a crescent moon. It glints as the sunlight
catches on it.

It reminds him of you. He's not quite sure why.

"Interested, sir?"

Levi looks up and meets the eyes of a young woman. She's smiling at him politely, waiting
for him to talk, but Levi feels his mouth dry up for some stupid reason. He's interested, but he
doesn't want to say he's interested, but-

"Yes! Yes he is!" Hange chirps from behind him, and Levi has to resist the urge to smack
them when they grab his shoulders. "Wait, what are we interested in?"

"Nothing," Levi says, but he gives himself away when his eyes flicker back to the charm.

Hange's eyes light up. "Reminds you of her, huh?" they tease, and Levi does nothing but
glare. Hange grins and turns back to the merchant, pointing at the cord with the moon. "That
one, I think, but no thanks. He's too shy to actually try and-"
Levi plunges his hand into his jacket and pulls out a handful of coins, thrusting it at the
merchant. She laughs quietly and plucks the necklace from her cart. Levi watches cautiously
as she puts the charm into a small bag, then holds the bag out to him. He takes it from her,
handling it carefully, like it's fragile.

"Thank you so much," Hange says gleefully, beaming as they turn away.

"Have a nice day," the merchant says pleasantly as Levi turns to head after Hange.

He falls into step with Hange, whose grin is stretching from ear to ear. Silence follows for a
few moments before Levi snaps out, "I hate you."

"You're adorable," they coo back.

Hange rattles on, pointing out some stall selling honey that they want to go to, and Levi half
listens. He opens up the small bag he purchased and pulls out the small charm. You've never
seemed like you'd be one for small trinkets, so he's not sure what possessed him to get it-
damn Hange and their trickery- but he's surprised by the tightening in his chest. He's nervous.

Levi tucks the charm back into the bag, puts it in his shirt pocket, and follows Hange across
the street.

With both Levi and Hange out and Squad Levi deep within the forest doing titan hardening
drills with Eren, your options for socialization are painfully limited.

So that's how you found yourself at the door to Erwin's office.

You puzzle over yourself for at least a full minute beforehand. Should you knock? What if
he's busy and you're bothering him? Is he even in his office? True, he could just be out and
about and you're being stupid about this-

"Take your time," you hear Erwin call from inside.

Scowling, you open the door. Erwin's sitting behind his desk with heaps of folders and papers
set in front of him. He doesn't look up at you, but you know that he knows it's you. Somehow,
that bothers you. After a pause in which you're sure Erwin isn't going to address you, you
close the door and walk forwards to take the chair in front of his desk.

He looks up at you. You cross your arms. He looks back down to his reports.

For a while, neither of you speak. Erwin keeps filing through his reports, writing notes as he
goes.

You open your mouth to speak.

Erwin raises an eyebrow at you.

You decide otherwise; your mouth closes shut. Erwin goes back to his files.
Silence ensues. You should probably say something- and if you're not going to say
something, then you should probably leave, because you're definitely interrupting or
bothering him. He's the commander, he's always busy. You're definitely being a nuisance.

...But you don't really want to be alone.

Erwin seems to understand, because he doesn't even speak a word.

Five minutes pass. Then ten.

Finally, you muster out, "am I bothering you?"

"If you were bothering me," Erwin says without looking up, "I would inform you. You're not
bothering me."

You swallow. "Okay."

Silence falls again. It's not uncomfortable by any means, but you still feel mildly awkward.
The sun is lowering outside, so you know Levi will be home soon; you want to go see him
when he comes back. Maybe get him some tea or something.

But there's one thing you want to ask Erwin first.

"When can I go back to training?" you ask.

Erwin finally looks up. His intense stare nearly makes you shrink up. "When do you think
you should go back to training?" he asks.

"I'd like to immediately."

"I didn't ask when you'd like to. I asked when you think you should."

Immediately lies on your tongue, but for some reason, you don't say it. You used to be so
gung ho about everything, dismissing injuries- your bruised ribs come to mind- for the sake
of pushing onwards. If the past month has taught you anything, it's that time is more valuable
than anything else out there. And if you can spare the time, you should.

You exhale before you speak. "In three days."

To your surprise, Erwin smiles. "Alright."

You nod, somewhat embarrassed- what? Why?- and you stand yourself up. You tuck your
chair back into its intended position and nod once to Erwin.

He nods in return, smiling.

Face flushed, you leave Erwin's office, heading towards the kitchens.

.
Levi's not entirely sure how you managed to get a whole tea set onto the roof, but he's not
going to question it. He'll never turn down star gazing or tea with you, so both at the same
time? He'd be stupid to say no.

You're sitting up next to him, happily drinking your tea with your eyes fixed on the sky.
There's still a thin line of orange from where the sun has disappeared, but the stars are already
out. They're plentiful tonight, surrounding the nearly full moon like a swarm of bugs around a
lantern. It reminds him of the charm he got you, heavy in his pocket. He wants to give it to
you but, frankly, he's got no idea how.

You're talking about something. He's not sure what, because he's too lost in the twinkle in
your eyes.

You seem to realize, because you pause. "You're not listening," you accuse.

He looks up to the moon, then back to you. "Sorry," Levi forces out.

Shaking your head, you straighten yourself out, setting down your empty tea cup. "Don't
apologize," you insist, and Levi's once again surprised at the patience you have with him.
You never seem to be upset with him for the small things, small things that he's heard other
soldiers complain about with their respective partners. He's heard the stories; you defy all of
them. "What's on your mind?"

The urge to say nothing isn't there. You've fought it out of him. "I got you something," Levi
starts, reaching for the small box he'd tucked away in his cloak.

"Oh, god," you reply. "Hange didn't-"

"Hange did," he confirms, pulling out the box Hange had dragged him to get at the doctors.
He hands it to you. "Here."

"Thanks." You take the box from him, reading the label. He's already looked it over; it's just a
list of the ingredients and how they act as a contraceptive. Nothing in there that might cause
you discomfort, at least from what he knows. "They're just tea blends?" you question, and he
shrugs. "Well, I guess I'm going to be having a lot more tea."

Levi turns to you. His mouth feels dry. "You want to?"

You shoot him a weird look. "What, have sex? You don't?"

"I do," he objects immediately. He'd be stupid to lie about that. "But not if it's more stress for
you."

"Stress?" you repeat, and you laugh. Levi's heart does something funny in his chest. "Erwin
approved me to start training in three days," you say, and he feels like that's something you
mentioned earlier that he only half listened to. "Physically, I'm just about good to go.
Mentally or emotionally?" Your smile softens. "Levi, you're not stressful. Nothing I do with
you is ever stressful."

Hard to believe. Levi raises an eyebrow. "Killing titans."

"Nope. Not when I have you next to me."

"Meetings."

"Boring, but manageable."

"Training."

He watches you think for a moment. "Not stressful, really, but I'm more on guard with you
around," you admit. "You keep me on my toes."

That goes both ways. Levi waits for a moment, studying you, but you're looking at him with
something in your eyes that he thinks is love- at least, that's how he imagines he looks at you.
"Fine," he concedes.

You smile, and it makes the small bag in his shirt pocket burn into his chest. "If it happens, it
happens," you say with a grin. "Better to be prepared for it."

His lips twitch. "I've got something else for you."

"Like what?"

Levi pulls the small pouch out and he hands it to you. He's surprised by the nerves building
up in his chest; isn't gift giving supposed to be fun?

Curious, you slowly pull open the bag. Levi finds himself watching you intently as you spill
the necklace into your palm. Your lips part and your eyes widen; Levi clenches his hands into
fists as he waits for some sort of verbal acknowledgement.

You take the ends of the cord and hold it up. The charm slides to the bottom of the loop,
swinging back and forth. Levi swallows hard. "Well?"

"It's beautiful," you whisper, and a weight tumbles off of Levi's shoulders. "Oh my god, Levi,
this is... this is so nice," you babble, and it almost sounds like you're in shock. "What... when
did you get this? What for?"

He can't help but smile. Levi takes the ends of the cord from you and reaches around your
neck, shifting your hair out of the way so that he can tie it off. His hands rest loosely on your
neck. He remembers what Hange had done, goading him into buying the necklace out of
spite.

Spite... that's as good of a reason as any, right?

"Why not?" Levi says instead.

"I love it," you say earnestly. You reach up for his face, cupping his jaw. "I love you," you
add.

He smiles, and he kisses you, mumbling "I love you" against your lips until the two of you
are too lost in each other to hear it anymore.
.

He bought you a necklace.

He bought you a necklace.

He bought you a necklace.

God, you sleep well that night, heart singing in your chest and smile wide across your face.
You're sleeping higher up on the bed than Levi is, so his face is buried in your chest and his
arms are loosely wrapped around your waist. Sometimes, it's the other way around, but
neither of you seem to mind whatever way you're oriented.

Tokens of affection. You'd joked about it before. When Levi sent you with that ODM gear,
you'd laughed because that explained Levi's gestures remarkably well.

You never thought he'd actually get you something.

It's beautiful, too: a small crescent moon that sits perfectly below your collarbone. It's
minimalistic and it's not going to get in the way or draw too much attention- it's perfect.
Absolutely perfect. Of course, Levi could get you anything, and it'd probably be perfect
either way.

Eventually, once the sun's come up, Levi gets himself up. He kisses you on the forehead,
mumbling something about a meeting with Erwin and that he'll be back with tea soon. You
hum in response, pulling one of the blankets towards you so that you can pretend it's him as
you doze off again.

The sun's pretty high when Levi comes back with a tray, but you've rested long enough.
"Morning," you say with a yawn.

"Sleep okay?" he asks, setting the tray down on the side table.

"Great," you reply. "You?"

"Good."

Levi pours out the hot water and you open up the box he gave you yesterday. Tea that acts as
birth control- who knew. Levi takes a separate tea bag of his own that he brought and the both
of you set your tea bags in your cups. Levi sits down in his chair- he doesn't like to be near
his bed with tea- and you follow suit, moving to lean against his desk.

He watches as you take a careful sip of your tea. He raises an eyebrow at you, awaiting your
thoughts.

"Tastes like ginger," you say thoughtfully. "It's not that bad."

Levi's shoulders relax slightly, and he nods, taking a sip of his own tea.
You both bask in comfortable silence for a minute, taking careful gulps of tea. You hadn't
lied; it's truly not that bad. It's actually kind of good- there's an aftertaste that's kind of tangy.

"We're going down to gather and move a lot of the orphans from the underground today,"
Levi says.

Always the missions. You nod along, sipping your tea.

"I'm only going this once. When you're back to training in a few days, we'll start running
more drills with the squad. Erwin's got plans for retaking Wall Maria and I'll need everyone
on the same page."

"Alright," you agree.

Levi still looks like he has something else to say, so you wait. "Moblit made that sketch with
you yesterday?" he asks eventually.

You nod. "Yeah. You'll be on the lookout?"

He looks like he wants to agree, but there's a pause. Levi glares down at his tea, then up to
you, but he can't hold your gaze and he breaks off. "That photo ID isn't for them," he says
slowly. "It's for me."

You pause.

"I'm not going down there to help with the evacuation." Levi sets his cup down. "I'm going to
hunt down and kill your father."

Your mouth opens, and no sounds come out. Rather than trying to vocalize your feelings, you
try to summon your logic. "You've seen my father," you object. "Why would you need-"

"I'm going to use that picture to ask around."

"I'm-"

"You're not coming with me."

"Yes, I am."

"I'm not going to make you do that."

"You're not going to make me do anything." You set your cup down. "That was my rule. If
you're going to kill him, I'm tagging along."

Levi sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "L," he says lowly, and you roll your eyes. "Even
if you were physically up and ready to go, it took enough convincing to get Erwin to finally
let me do this. It's risky. He wants to bring him through the legal system-"

"With all those stupid MPs?" you snap. "They'll have no evidence on him besides my word-
and the word of his family but I doubt they'd speak up. It won't-"
"I know," Levi retorts, glowering at you. "That's why I'm taking care of it."

"Levi-"

"You're waking up from nightmares of him," he interjects, and you quiet. "He tortured you.
He tried to kill you. He got you kidnapped, and he still wants to kill you. He deserves to rot
in hell for what he's done to you."

You purse your lips. "I know," you say. "I want in."

He sighs. "L-"

"This is my problem, not yours."

"Your problems are my problems." Levi looks away, then back to you. "Your father was
sighted retreating to the underground according to those shit MPs, and I'm not going to let
him get the chance to escape with all of the evacuation shit going on right now. Erwin knows
what I'm up to, even if I haven't told him explicitly. He's been trying to get me out of this.
There's no way he'd let you go on this-"

"So if I got his permission, then you'd be fine with me coming."

He sighs. "He wouldn't say yes-"

You push yourself away from the desk, snatching your coat before you grab the door handle.
You hear Levi call your name but you're already out the door.

Step after step, arms swinging. You're carried down the hallway purely by your determination
and the pit of hatred that's brewing up in the depths of your stomach. You're not mad at Levi,
not at all: he's trying to help you and keep you out of it if he can, which is just typical
behavior for him. All you need is permission, and then he won't protest, right?

You don't knock. You throw open the door to Erwin's office.

He's standing at one of his bookshelves, folders in his hand that he's filing away into the
shelves. He turns to see what the disturbance is, and his eyebrows rise when he sees you.
"Logan," he greets. "To what do I owe-"

"I'm going with him."

The silence is palpable.

Then, "no."

"I wasn't asking for permission," you snap.

There's another pause. Erwin regards you for a moment, then turns back to his files. "Well,"
he says measuredly, "I tried."

Grinning to yourself, you spin on your heel and leave his office.
.

"He gave me permission."

Levi raises an eyebrow at you. "Did he tell you that explicitly?"

There's a pause.

"...He didn't stop me."

He sighs, clearly not surprised. Levi leans in and kisses your forehead. "You're a reckless
idiot," he scolds, and you beam proudly, because that means he's not going to do anything to
prevent you from coming along. "We leave in half an hour."

"Yes, sir," you say with a grin.

Levi gives you a long look. With one last sigh, he presses a palm to his forehead, muttering
something under his breath that you can't make out as he heads to the door. He turns back to
you at the last minute. "Bandages?" he questions, asking if you need help with yours.

You think for a minute. "I think I'll go without them," you reply.

Levi's lips twitch. Then, he leaves.

Smiling to yourself, you start to suit up.

The underground is... weird.

You can't say you remember it; you've never been down here since you woke up with
amnesia. Elements of the underground feel familiar: the stones beneath your feet, the
dampness in the air, the anxiety of people leeching into the air. The military police are
wandering through the streets and the underground residents seem to be especially wary.

There's very little light. Everything feels dim, and it's suffocating in a way. You can see why
Levi had described the people down here as defensive and protective; there's little hope to be
seen and you can't imagine keeping any shred of optimism down here.

"Come on," Levi mutters, pulling the hood of your cloak down a little bit further. "Head
down."

You tip your chin down, eyes on the stone, and trail after Levi.

Neither of you have ODM gear; you're trying to blend in with your surroundings and the
ODM gear would be a dead giveaway that you're military. You'd feel safer with it on, but
you're got Levi next to you. There's nothing the two of you can't handle together.

You let Levi lead the way. You bet that you used to know this place like the back of your
hand, but Levi's obviously the better choice for a guide. Besides, the underground sets you on
edge. You've never felt this anxious about anything before.

"We're going to a bar, deeper in the city." Levi drops back in step slightly so that he's next to
you. "Bartender there knows everyone. Just keep your head down and let me talk. You've got
your knife?"

You nod. It's the same one Levi lent you ages ago; you don't really go anywhere without it
tucked snugly into your boot.

"Good. You'll know if you have to use it."

Alright. You can manage that. You nod along and follow Levi around a corner.

There's not a lot of people out and about, but you still feel watched. Even though your cloaks
are plain black with no insignia, it still feels like everyone is staring at you. Or maybe you're
just unnecessarily paranoid. Either way, you're not about to draw attention to yourself when
you don't need to.

You follow Levi for maybe another minute before he beelines for one bar that looks
considerably less shitty than some other competition that you've passed. Levi shoves open the
door and you follow him inside, scanning for possible threats. The bar's near empty- it's
midafternoon, that makes sense- but there's still a few men here and there, taking up space at
the tables.

Levi stalks towards the bar and leans across the counter. You step up next to him, narrowing
your eyes at the bartender. He's cleaning glasses, facing away from you.

"I need information," Levi says.

"You're in the wrong place," he replies without turning around.

"I'm not."

The bartender turns around, and his glass nearly slips out of his hands. "Oh, shit," he says, his
eyes widening. "Levi?"

"Luke," he replies.

"Shit, Levi." The man sets down the glass and the towel he was using, and he leans closer to
Levi. You shift nervously next to him. "Never thought I'd see you again. How long's it been,
six years?"

"Long." His replies are clipped and to the point. "I'm looking for someone."

"You got yourself arrested and we thought that'd be it for you," Luke continues, ignoring
Levi's statement. You pinch your fingernails into your palms. "Then rumors started popping
up in the last few years- humanity's strongest, born and raised in the underground. 'Course
you didn't die. How 'bout the two others with ya? Or was it three, I heard that other girl got
arrested with ya-"
"Hi," you interrupt, and the bartender's eyes widen even further. "We're looking for
someone."

He doesn't say anything else; he looks like he's in shock. Maybe it's the collection of scars on
your face: sliced eye, burned forehead (the black eye Kenny gave you has long since faded),
or maybe there's some sort of personal connection. Either way, you don't recognize him.

Levi reaches into his cloak and he pulls out the folded piece of parchment that Moblit had
drawn on. He unfolds it and holds it up. "Have you seen him?"

Luke stares at you for another moment, then looks to the paper. He stares at it for a moment
before he shakes his head. "No."

"Try again," Levi says lowly, voice dark.

The bartender looks painfully uncomfortable, and he glances at you to avoid Levi's gaze, but
you shoot him the hardest glare you can muster and he looks back to the poster. He doesn't
speak.

"He's deranged," you start, because you can tell that he's not telling you something. "Broke
too. Probably muttering to himself. Definitely not in his right mind."

Luke sighs. "Man came in a few weeks ago."

You straighten up. Levi lightly kicks your ankle.

"Like ya said, moaning and groaning and just being a fucking nuisance," the bartender
grumbles. He points to the front of the bar, and you crane your neck, looking to one of the
tables. "Never got anything and he was being creepy as fuck, so I kicked him out. Talked to
Bo, and he says the same dude came into his place a few days after he hit mine, trying to bum
drinks out of the others around. Sounds like he's barhopping."

"Do you know where he is now?" Levi asks.

Luke shrugs. "Couple days ago, Lionel was bitching about someone trying to break into his
storage- he took over Tom's old bar. Didn't work, obviously, but you could start there."

Levi nods, then turns to head out. You scamper after him, shooting one last look at the
bartender before you follow him outside.

Once you're back on the street, he speaks up. "If there's anything down here, it's a shit ton of
bars," he says. "Gambling, drugs, all that fun illegal shit goes on in those. Tom's is about
fifteen minutes down. We'll ask him what he knows."

"Okay," you agree, shifting up next to him.

Levi glances sideways at you. "You good?"

You nod. "Just fidgety."

His gaze lingers for another moment. Then, Levi moves his gaze forward, and the two of you
are on the move again.

You hadn't lied; you're definitely fidgety. The underground has set you on edge, and
honestly? You wish you'd stayed home now. There's too much down here that scares you,
that's making you restless. But you want to be out and about again and this mission is
important to you; you don't want Levi to think you can't handle this.

The two of you walk in silence, but the underground is anything but. It's not loud by any
means, but it feels like there's a constant murmur that ensures the darkness isn't left to pure
silence. Footsteps, whispers, creaking. Goosebumps are forming all the way up your spine.

"There," Levi murmurs after a while, and he jerks his chin at a rundown building on the
corner of the street. "That's Tom's."

You nod. "Okay."

"If he's been spotted here recently, he could still be lingering. Stay on guard."

"Don't need to tell me twice," you mutter, eyeing a pair of men that are watching you from an
alley.

You follow Levi up to the doorway of the bar. He pushes the door open and the stench of
alcohol nearly makes you step back. It's definitely run down: the walls are in desperate need
of being redone, some of the chairs look like they're on their last legs, and the floor looks
stained with wine or blood or something that they couldn't quite get out.

Something tightens in your chest, and suddenly, breathing is painful. You squeeze your hands
into fists at your sides, trying to gather your bearings.

"I'll wait out here," you force out.

Levi looks back to you skeptically, but there must be something in your expression that he
doesn't want to fight, because he says "alright" and closes the door behind him as he goes
inside.

The door closes, and you exhale shakily.

Your mother had died on the floor of a bar.

There's no way to be sure without exploring the bar itself or interrogating the bartender, and
you're not exactly eager to figure out what bar exactly was the location of your mother's
murder. Your brain is pounding in your skull, the image of your mother bleeding out onto a
wooden floor ever present in the forefront of your mind. Was it his bar? What if your father's
figured out what bar it was and he's trying to get there? No, there's no way he'd know, that's-

"Heya, missy."

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"You look lonely," one voice says, different from the first one. From the sounds of the
footsteps, there's two of them. "Your man leave you out here all on your own?"

"I'm looking for someone," you say, because why the fuck not. "Tall, longish hair, greasy-
twitchy eyes, muttering to himself, looks psychotic. Have you seen him?"

"And if we have?"

You finally turn to one of the men. He's rather large, stocky and tall. "Then I won't kill you,"
you say, forgetting to muster up the fake sweetness.

The second man snorts, giving away his position behind you. "We need a better deal than
that, girl."

"Fine."

You swing your elbow back, hitting him exactly where you'd expected him to be: right in the
nose. The man howls, hands rising to his nose, and you sweep your foot up at the other man,
kicking him directly in the stomach. You twist back to the man with the newly-broken nose
and drive your fist into the side of his jaw; he falls hard to the ground.

The portly man grabs your arm and you twist immediately, thrusting your free fist at his face.
He moves to block and you switch targets, aiming for his stomach. Fist meets flesh and he
keels over, coughing.

Taking your chance, you grab onto his arm with one hand, swing your other arm under his
bicep, and pivot, dropping your weight. With a cry, the man goes flying over your shoulder,
crashing hard to the ground.

"Fuck!" the man howls, his head cracking off the pavement. "Fuck you, you whore-"

You sink your fist into his face and drop your knee hard down onto his sternum. One quick
grab, and you've got your knife out and pointed at his throat.

"Well, I tried," you say dully, digging the tip of the blade into his chin. "Have you seen him?"

"I have! I have!" he squabbles, writhing underneath you. You push the blade in a bit harder
but he only squirms more. "He- he was wandering around, begging! Begging for scraps!
Crazy man, just kept whispering and pleading, hunched over, had long hair-"

"Yeah, yeah," you interrupt. "Where is he now?"

"I- I don't know!"

Blood starts to bead at the knife point. The haze in your head seems to thicken. "Think
harder."

The man cries out, but you can't bring it in yourself to care. "He- he was saying something
about shitty kids!" he manages. "Could mean one of those lost kid shelters, they've got 'em
around, it's just a place that a bunch of kids hide out, it's a basement-"
"That's it?"

"That's all I know!"

You pull your arm back, and the man collapses against the stone in relief. You stand yourself
up, looking briefly for the other man- he's passed out cold. Good. One glance back at the bar
proves that Levi has yet to emerge, so you wander over.

You push the door open and call out, "I've got information."

"So do I," Levi calls from the bar. He's got the bartender's head pressed down into the
countertop and there's another man passed out cold at his feet. Levi releases the man's hair
and he whimpers into the wood as Levi strides back towards you. "What?" he asks.

You step backwards so that he can step outside. "Something about a kid's shelter. Some sort
of makeshift basement area?"

"I've got a direction," he says, eyes surveying the two men on the street. "Trouble?"

"Hardly," you reply, following Levi as he takes a turn. "You?"

"None." Once you're a bit further away from the scene, he asks, "you okay?"

You blink. "Fine."

"You're still holding your knife."

Oh. You purse your lips and pause in your stride to tuck the blade back into your boot before
you continue after Levi. Your brain still feels foggy, like someone's put a blanket over it, but
it's nothing you can't manage.

Levi turns down a narrow side street and you follow him, eyes scanning for any sign of your
father. You've got to be getting close, right?

"Here," Levi murmurs, nodding his chin at one building that looks suspiciously empty. "It's
the middle of the day, so it's probably empty." He guides you around the side of the building
until you're at a cellar door; he pulls it open and you step inside first, wishing you had a
lantern of some sort for a light source. It's dark, with minimal street light seeping through
cracks in the wood. "Careful," he says from behind you.

"I am," you insist, glancing around.

"I'll go left, you go right."

"Okay."

Levi moves and you move in the opposite direction, pulling your knife back out of your boot.
You're listening more than looking; if there's any movement, you'll hear it quicker than you'll
see it. You duck around one pillar, nearly smacking into it head first by accident. It feels like
there's straw or something at your feet, something so that no one's laying on the cold ground.
There's a scuffle behind you, then a shout. Levi yells your name.

You whip around just in time to see a figure burst forwards from Levi's direction. From what
little light you do have, you can see Levi right behind him. Sure enough, that's your father.

You don't hesitate. You lunge forwards as he runs towards you- apparently not seeing you-
and you tackle him to the ground. He grunts as he hits the straw and the two of you roll. Your
fury and pure rage take hold and you manage to flip yourself on top, pinning one of his arms
down with one of your knees. Your fist slams into his face and he moans, scrunching his eyes
shut.

"Fucker," you snarl, and you raise your knife over his throat.

Willem's eyes flicker open, and suddenly, it's not him beneath you but Fizal. They've got the
same eyes: panicked and wild, but also acceptance. Just like how Fizal had accepted her fate
as you ripped the knife out of her throat so that she'd bleed out-

Your mouth dries. Your hand is shaking.

Willem cackles beneath you. "Foolish!" he spits, trying to shift beneath you. "Hunting me
down all this way and you can't even kill me? What are you even good for?"

"Shut up," you snarl, but your voice is shaking.

"Let me kill you," he goads, grinning like a madman. "Let me use your blood so that you'll
have some sort of purpose in your life. What else would you even do? What else are you
good for-"

"That's enough," Levi snaps, and you feel his hand clamp down on your shoulder. "Wait
outside."

Wait outside.

Yeah. You can do that.

Stumbling, you get yourself to your feet. Willem is cackling hysterically, even when Levi
slams his boot down on his chest- no doubt cracking some ribs. Levi looks at you, and you
can't even meet his eyes. You're not sure what it is, what it is that's gotten into you, but you
can't do it.

You hold out your knife, and you feel him take it.

That's it. That's all the permission he needs.

You head towards the cellar stairs, forcing yourself to raise your feet and make your way up
to the cellar door. Willem's cackles follow you out, but they grow quieter with every step you
take. You nearly trip over the last step, dizzy. Your vision feels blurry, and there's a ringing in
your ears that you can't get rid of.
You stumble towards the outside of the building. There's a set of stairs leading upwards; you
sit on the bottom step. You balance your elbows on your knees, pressing your palms to your
forehead.

Willem's laughs stop abruptly.

You inhale sharply.

He's dead.

Finally.

And in the end, when it mattered, you couldn't do it.

Fuck.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to banish any images from your mind. What's wrong with
you? This shouldn't be an issue.

Levi comes out who knows how much later. He stops in front of you, waiting for a moment,
then sits down on the step next to you. You don't look up, eyes trained on the ground. You
don't know if you can look him in the eye right now.

Tentatively, you feel Levi's hand skim your knee. When you don't brush him off, he lets his
hand rest on your thigh.

"He's dead?" you ask finally.

He squeezes your thigh. "Yeah."

God. "Thank you."

Levi doesn't reply. His thumb starts moving aimlessly against your leg, drawing soothing
strokes along your thigh. You don't know what else to say, and apparently, neither does he.
You should be happy, right? You've been waiting for this. It feels almost anti-climactic, really.
Like it should've been a bigger showdown.

You can't stop thinking about what he said. Those words and that laugh are going to haunt
you. You've wanted him dead, but now that he is, you feel empty.

"L?" Levi murmurs.

God, you don't want to tell him that you saw the doctor you killed. You don't want him to
think you're weak. While you know Levi would never think that of you, you've made so
much progress with what happened in the military base and you don't want undo it.

The words slip out, and you're not even sure where they come from, because they certainly
hadn't had any presence in your mind beforehand.

"I just want a teashop," you blurt out.

Levi raises an eyebrow, confused at how to reply.

You blink rapidly. "He was saying- he was asking what I was good for," you ramble, trying to
collect your thoughts. "And I don't want to be good for anything. I don't want to be
humanity's strongest woman or whatever the fuck people call me. I... I don't want to be good
for anything. I just want to... I don't want to fight, I don't want to kill people. I just want to
stop fighting and live in a teashop with you for the rest of my life."

His hand rises from your thigh up to your head, and Levi gently tips your head against his
shoulder. You exhale slowly as Levi runs his fingers across your scalp, massaging your head.

"Why do I have to have a purpose?" you grumble. "Can't this be enough?"

Levi's fingertips draw circles on your scalp. "I used to think fighting was it," he muses.
"That's what I'd be doing for the rest of my life. I didn't have a problem with that."

You hum. "Now?"

"Now I want to see it through." You reach out and put a hand on Levi's leg, wanting more
connection to him. "We're close to Wall Maria," he says. "I want to finish it. Finish all of it.
Finish all of the fighting that's left and make it to the end."

"And do what?"

Levi twists and presses his lips to the top of your head. "Teashop with you, obviously," he
murmurs quietly.

You can't help but smile- he's such a sap sometimes. "So we fight all of the fights," you say
hollowly. "We fight them all, and then we're done."

"And we just finished another one."

That's right. Where you couldn't step up, Levi stepped in. Another fight done; you're one
battle closer to that little teashop that you can see in the back of your mind. "Okay," you
whisper, intent on making this promise to him. "We'll see it through."

He nods. "You don't have to be good for anything," Levi says softly, "but you are damn good
at fighting. If we want this to be over, we need you."

"I know."

"And you're..." Levi exhales. Subconsciously, you raise a hand to fidget with your necklace.
"You're good for me too," he adds quietly, and you smile up at him. His ears are red. "So I
need you."

"Of course," you agree, smiling. "Teashop."

"Teashop," he agrees.
 You sit on that stair for another few minutes, side by side, until you finally pull yourself to
your feet. You and Levi leave, heading back to the Survey Corps evacuation point, and you
never look back once.

Chapter End Notes

This chapter was over 10k words and the next one's shaping up to be too, but I'm not a
fan about how the latter half of this chapter turned out and it was driving me nuts and I
just kept adding words. Someone cut me off plz

Thank you guys so, so damn much for over 2500 kudos. I'm truly blown away every
week by your support and positive feedback. Some of y'all are giving me English class
level analyses and the things you come up with are insane. I'd love to say I'm planning it
all, but half the time I'm genuinely surprised by what you come up with. "Did I write
that? Holy shit" has become a frequent statement in my household.

...how do I politely tell you guys my writing education finishes with twelfth grade
English? I'm an engineering major lmao

Anyways. Love you all. See you next Friday for Shiganshina- it's gonna hurt.
 3-8
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The night before the Shiganshina battle is rowdy.

From what you overheard, someone spent two months worth of rations on tonight's dinner,
and you can definitely tell. The sheer amount of meat on these tables in more than you've
seen in your lifetime (or what you remember of your lifetime, at least) and Sasha looks like
she's died and gone to heaven. She's absolutely feral and has to be tied to a post in order to be
detained so that others can actually enjoy the food too.

Levi's off discussing something with Erwin, so he's not going to be here until later. That's fine
with you; you know you're spending tonight with him and that way, you can spend some time
with your friends right now.

There's a whole bunch of new recruits too- people who have transferred from other branches.
A whole lot more 'suicidal dumbasses', as the MPs would call you.

"Is it okay to let them go on?"

Armin's question drags you out of your thoughts. You glance up to where Eren and Jean are
tussling again, exchanging blows in front of a crowd of onlookers.

"Yeah," Mikasa says, smiling to herself. "I think it's fine."

"Seconded," you add, grinning as you watch Eren sink his fist into Jean's stomach. "This is
nostalgic."

Armin hums in agreement.

Besides, Eren and Jean seem like they're tiring themselves out. The pauses between hits
grows, and their eyes are starting to get a bit frantic as they look around at the crowd- almost
like they're wondering why no one's jumped in to stop them yet.

Sure enough, someone does. Fresh out of his evening meeting, Levi steps in, shooting his
foot straight into Eren's stomach and then planting a fist into Jean's chest. "All of you are
getting carried away," he warns as both boys collapse to the ground. "Go to bed and clean
up."

"Understood!"

Everyone starts collecting their dishes. You keep your eyes on Levi, and eventually, he finds
you in the crowd. He nods to you and looks like he's about to come over when he's
approached by one of the squad leaders and the man locks him into conversation.

You sigh. You'll have to catch him outside.

You're swept along with the other cadets as everyone leaves the mess hall, returning plates
and garbage to the designated areas before you leave. You wait for a while, but Levi's not
among those leaving. He must've gone out a different way.

Curious, you wander around the streets for a bit, looking for Levi. You're not the biggest fan
of being alone and you'd rather find your partner and go with him, wherever he is.

Your footsteps echo along the stone as you head down the street, eyes flickering from side to
side as you keep an eye out for where he could be. You see Mikasa, Eren, and Armin
gathered on the steps up to some open building and you wave to them as you pass; they look
like they're engaged in their own private conversation and you don't want to interrupt.

Your hand drops- there's a shadow underneath the door behind them. Is someone spying on
them?

"Sorry," you say, excusing yourself as you move up the steps and into the open area. You
look towards the shadow, and you're surprised to see Levi. He's sitting against the wooden
door, knees up, head down.

He looks up when he sees you, and his eyes widen slightly, then lower back to the ground.
You get the hint and you move to his other side, dropping yourself to the ground.

He's listening. You listen too.

"There's no way to go back entirely," Eren is saying, and your eyes flicker to Levi briefly
before dropping back to the ground. "Which is why we have to make them pay."

"Yeah," Mikasa says quietly.

"But that's not all," Armin adds, and you feel Levi stiffen up slightly next to you. "There's the
ocean too. A great sea of salt that merchants wouldn't be able to exhaust even if they spent
their whole lives trying. There's more beyond the walls than titans- flaming water, frozen
lands, fields of sand."

You and Levi had a conversation about something like that once. If there was really more
beyond the walls, if there was other life out there.

"I joined the Survey Corps because I wanted to see them," Armin says proudly, and you smile
to yourself. He's come a long way.

Eren mumbles something in acknowledgement, and you glance at Levi. He's intently focused
on the ground, but he's tense. Something's wrong.

"That's it!" Armin yells, and you hear him scramble to his feet. "Let's go see the ocean! It's
water until the end of the horizon! And fish that can only live in the ocean! Eren, you have to
have your doubts- let's go see it! It has to exist!"

You hear Eren laugh and he says something in return. Armin continues to talk excitedly, but
you're more focused on Levi. He's a statue next to you, some sort of cloud hanging over him.
Someone comes along and shoos the trio along. You hear footsteps as the three of them
wander away, Armin still chattering excitedly. An ocean- you feel like you've heard Armin
talk about it before. Does such a thing really exist? Water that stretches further than you can
see?

You turn to Levi. "What is it?" you murmur.

Levi looks at you, but it's brief; he tips his head back to the ground again. He doesn't say
anything and you don't push him. You've been doing this drill with him for months now- he'll
talk when he's ready.

Subconsciously, you reach to your neck and fiddle with the moon charm. You haven't taken it
off since you got it from him.

"Isabel," Levi says hoarsely, his voice quiet. "She used to talk like that."

You stay quiet, letting him continue.

He doesn't speak for a while, but eventually, Levi finds his voice like that. "The three of us,"
he murmurs. "Seeing the sunlight. Being outside. That was the dream. Those three... Armin
talks like she used to."

"She made it," you muse softly, reaching up to let your hand rest on Levi's knee. "She saw the
outside."

"And then it killed her." He sighs, leaning back to tip his head against the barn. "We're going
to Shiganshina tomorrow. How many of them are going to die before they can see the shit
they want to?"

You're not quite sure what to say to that, so you stay quiet. You draw small circles on Levi's
knee.

Levi's silent for a while. Then, "you think is exists?"

"What, the ocean?"

"Mm."

You shrug. "Sure. Why not?"

You feel him huff in amusement. "Why not?" he echoes.

"Well, there's such a thing as memory deteriorating fruits, apparently, so how much of a
stretch is a bunch of water?" You tip your chin up to him, smiling. "What do you think?"

"Sounds unsanitary."

Laughter rises in your chest, and you feel Levi kiss your forehead as you giggle. "You're such
a spoilsport," you tease, smiling into his shoulder. "C'mon. If it does exist, then you've got to
give it a try."
"No," Levi objects immediately. "There's no telling it actually exists anyways."

"So there's no harm in agreeing."

"Yes, there is. I'm not touching any salt infested waters if they exist, because knowing my
luck, they do."

You laugh again, and he aims himself lower. Levi kisses your lips, and you kiss him back
with a smile on your face. He's as gentle as always, lips thin but firm against yours, tongue
meeting yours as you two sink deeper into your kisses.

It's calm and it's sweet and it's so enticing that you feel yourself melting more and more with
every second that passes. Levi's moved a hand to your thigh, maybe steadying you (or
himself) and his hand keeps edging closer towards you, shifting down your leg, and it's
sending heat up your spine.

When you do pull back for air, Levi keeps his forehead pressed against yours. His hot breath
against your lips gives you more goosebumps.

"One last night," you say tentatively, framed as a suggestion.

Levi understands. So he nods, and he stands.

Hand in hand, you and Levi take the back alleys back to the Survey Corps HQ. You don't run
into anyone else in the hallways on the way to Levi's room, thankfully- it seems like
everyone else has already crashed out for the night. You're supposed to leave tomorrow at
sunset, so everyone's preparing to sleep all day, which is fine by you.

As soon as you're in Levi's room, he kisses you, and you're eager to return the sentiment. It's
controlled but it's passionate: Levi's pulling you to his bed, hands falling to your ass as he
guides you along, lips on your neck and chest against yours.

You undress each other, pulling at jackets and shirts until there's nothing left to separate the
two of you, too frenzied to give any concern as to where your clothes end up afterwards.
Levi's lips cover every inch of your body, scalding your breasts as he rolls overtop of you,
hips dropping against yours. Your body is on fire, burning and flickering and yearning for a
certain connection that you haven't felt from Levi in too long.

And then he gives it to you, finally enters you after what feels like much too long, and your
moan comes from the deepest parts of your lungs. "Fuck" is the only word left in your
vocabulary as Levi starts to move, lips still moving across your neck.

"Right there," you pant, but your words are swallowed when Levi kisses you, tongue pressing
at your lips as he thrusts into you.

It's so much better than your first time. That had been patient, considerate, painful- this is
faster, passionate, and much more pleasuring. Levi's hitting a deep spot inside you that still
hurts, but the pain is easily dulled. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, white ecstasy
coursing through your brain.
It's all a mess of lips and skin and heat, so much so that you're not even sure if you've
orgasmed once or twice when Levi rolls you over so that you're on top. It's different, being on
top, but Levi's energy never seems to dwindle; he's still bucking his hips up into you and
clamping his hands down on your sides. He throws his head back onto the pillow, and you
can hear the groan tearing at his throat.

"Levi," you choke out, eyes scrunched shut as you approach your second or third climax of
the night- who's even counting at this point? "Fuck-"

He's cursing too, his words low and heavy and sending sparks up your spine. "L," Levi pants,
thumbs pushing into you with a bruising pressure, "fuck, you're- fuck-"

And then you're both undone, moaning and shaking as the energy that you'd summoned
vanishes, depleted into nothing. Levi's breathing is rushed and you're sure yours is no better;
you're exhausted. Trembling, you slump down on top of Levi, chest to chest, his cock
growing limp inside you. Levi's hands release your sides and he wraps them gently around
your back, being mindful of your scars.

The two of you don't move for a moment. You stay there, laying on Levi, his skin hot beneath
you. His fingers loosely trace the lines of your scars.

Eventually, you roll off of him. Levi kisses you lazily, with all the tender care in the world,
before he murmurs, "bath?"

You smile. "What, like I'd say no?"

His lips twitch and he kisses you again before he hops out of bed. You wait until you can hear
the sound of running water. Then, you wander after him towards the bathroom.

It's perfect. Just you and Levi, hot water, soap bars. Just the two of you, being so happily
comfortable together that you forget what tomorrow is. You forget what sort of battle is going
to await you tomorrow. You forget all of the strategy Erwin has done with you and the
training you've done with your squad and the prep work you've been doing all week.

It's just you and Levi.

That's all.

Unfortunately, tomorrow's sunset comes faster than you'd hoped, and the Survey Corps are
packed up and ready to go. The preparations take a while, moving countless horses over the
walls, and you're genuinely surprised by the crowd. There's a giant number of people that are
watching the preparations take place, and although it's not unusual to have people watching,
it feels like so many more than you've ever seen.

"Is this normal?" you ask Hange. "I know I've only been on a few expeditions, but this feels
like a lot of people."

"It is," they agree. "Never seen this many before."

"Weird."

Hange grins. "Nah, not at all. The support we've gotten over the past couple of months has
been unreal. They're optimistic."

Optimistic. Huh.

"Take back Wall Maria for us!" you hear someone shout, and you look back down to the
crowd. Hange was right; all the faces you can see are smiling. They're eager- eager for a
victory.

You glance to your other side. Levi's come back towards you, standing between you and
Erwin. "There go those selfish civilians again," he grumbles.

You roll your eyes. "They'll still be here when we get back," you joke.

"Don't remind me."

There's a giant cheer from down the wall. The rest of Squad Levi- your friends- are whooping
and cheering, responding to the crowd's excitement. You can't help but smile, but you nearly
flinch when Erwin roars, joining in. It's clear he's eager for this as well; from what Levi tells
you, he's been dreaming of this for a while.

"The operation to retake Wall Maria," Erwin announces, swinging his blade in the air with his
only arm, "begins!"

Here we go.

Soon enough, you're down the other side of the wall and on your horses. You converge with
the rest of the squad, led by Levi. Eren's got that familiar shine in his eyes that makes you
smile; it's clear he's ready to go. There's eight of you total; Historia's position as Queen
effectively pulled her from the front lines. Levi, you, and six of your closest friends.

You've got your targets, and you've got some semblance of a plan. You can do this.

The trip is long, and once it becomes too dark, you have to move on foot. It's tiring, but
travelling at night is the best way to avoid the titans. Sure enough, the squad ahead of you
nearly runs into a titan headfirst, but as you'd anticipated, the titan's not moving. Dormant.
Thankfully, everyone's able to move on without having to go near it.

Levi's long since moved to join Erwin at the front of the formation, and you've been in charge
of your squad. Everyone's restless; understandably so. You're going to be confronting Reiner
and Bertolt again.

Reiner.

God. It's been months to allow your hatred of these two to simmer, for the total betrayal that
uprooted your friendship, but you still can't help but think of the way Reiner gave the best
hugs. The way Bertolt was a nervous but welcome presence at the mess hall table.
"Enough," you can't help but mutter aloud. Reiner held you in his mouth, for god's sake; he's
clearly your enemy.

"You okay?"

You look sideways to see Sasha, and you force a smile. "Yeah," you say. "Nerves, I guess."

"Nerves?" Sasha says, and she laughs. "Since when have you ever been nervous for anything,
Logan?"

Underground.

You blink to shake yourself out of your stupor. There's no point to thinking of your father
right now; he's very much dead. "I guess so," you say with a forced grin, hoping it conveys
some sort of confidence. "We've got this."

Sasha smiles and squeezes your shoulder. Then, she retreats to walk beside Connie, and you
walk alone.

The sun rises and the wall appears in the distance. You've never seen Wall Maria for yourself
(well, probably once on your first ever expedition, pre amnesia) but it looks the exact same as
any other wall. The only difference is that it's surrounded by destroyed houses and broken
structures, totaled by the titans.

"Go!" Erwin commands, and everyone launches into gear to scale the wall. You pull your
hood further over your face and seek out Eren in the crowd of hooded Survey Corps so that
you can move with him; Levi pulls up on your other side.

It goes off without a hitch. You, Mikasa, Levi, and Eren make it to the outer wall- the gate
between Shiganshina and the outside world- and Eren jumps down to the broken opening.
There's a blast of air as he transforms, but his titan is gone before you can even see it
properly. Mikasa leaps down to collect Eren from his hardened titan and they're back up with
you and Levi before the smoke even clears.

"That was too easy," you mutter, glancing at Levi.

His eyes are narrowed and focused. "They're watching us," he says, looking to Eren and
Mikasa. "And it's not over until they're dead."

True. They'll just break down the wall again and you'll be back to square one. "Okay," you
agree, watching as Mikasa pulls up Eren's hood again. "What now?"

"Inner gate. Let's go."

Eren hears the order and he nods. His eyes flicker to you and he smiles triumphantly; you
smile in return. He's been working hard over the past few months, and with one
transformation, he barely looks fatigued. He's been doing so well.

The four of you head back around the wall. The support team that came with you- Hange's
squad- are spread out, some ahead of you and others trailing behind. Your grip tightens on
your blades as you run after Levi. Why haven't they appeared yet? What do they have to
gain?

A signal flare goes up, and you hear Hange yell. "Suspend the mission!" they shout. "Scatter
on the wall and standby!"

"Understood!" people echo, but you glance at Levi questionably.

He locks eyes with you. "I don't know."

Frowning, you look to Eren. He still seems okay. The four of you wait, surveying what you're
sure is going to become a battlefield. Some of the scouts are scaling the walls- what exactly
are they looking for? You spy Armin just below you, tapping the wall with his sword. Does
he think they're hiding in the walls?

A flare goes up slightly to your right; Levi jogs in that direction. "Here!" one scout shouts.
"It's hollow over here!"

They're hiding in the walls, right underneath you. Your heart jumps into your throat. "Levi,"
you call.

A blade shoots out of the wall; the scout who made the discovery fall, side torn open.
Emerging from the wall is none other than Reiner, eyes scanning his surroundings.

You turn to Levi, but he's already gone.

Levi doesn't even hook into anything. He simply drops, falling towards Reiner blade first,
almost like he's running down the wall. You bite your lip but stay where you are, trusting
Levi to do his job. Levi's first blade goes straight into Reiner's neck, and he swings his other
arm forward to put his second straight into his chest.

You hear him curse- loudly. Then, he plants his boot in Reiner's chest and pushes off, finally
using his gear to hook into the wall. Forgetting your orders, you step off the edge of the wall,
hooking yourself in to swoop down next to him. "Levi," you call. "You okay?"

"I couldn't kill him," he snaps, sounding angrier than you've ever heard him sound before.
"Shit. I couldn't do it."

There's a burst of light below you. Your heart rate spikes; here goes nothing.

"Up the wall," Levi orders. "We'll wait for Erwin's orders to attack-"

The ground shakes.

For once, you're faster than Levi is. You zoom back up to the top of the wall, eyes scouting
for the source of the shaking wall, and your mouth dries. It's that beast titan, the one that was
talking to Mike. It's inside Wall Maria- was it hidden in the trees? Did you accidentally walk
right by it?- with a swarm of titans surrounding it.
Your blood boils. That fucker is the reason Mike nearly died- and Erwin's guess is that it's the
reason titans got into Wall Rose in the first place. That means Nanaba's death and so many
others are on its hairy shoulders. "Fucker," you scowl under your breath.

Levi joins you up on the wall as the titan's arm rears back and it throws a boulder.

The boulder crashes somewhere on the other side of the wall that you can't see. Your heart
jumps; that's where the new recruits were waiting with the horses. The hole Eren had yet to
seal is now filled with rubble; the horses can't get through and the new recruits are stranded
between the beast titan and Wall Maria.

"The horses," Armin says from your other side. "He's targeting the horses."

"Let's go," Levi orders.

Some of the scouts nearby hear him and relay the message onward; Levi's already running
across the wall towards Erwin. You follow him, keeping your eyes on Reiner. Steam is
pouring up into the sky from his titan, still laying dormant on the ground. He'll be up at some
point- hopefully no time soon.

There's no order to attack yet, so you mill around with the other scouts while Erwin watches
the beast titan approach. There's a ring of titans around him, lumbering forwards into the
destroyed town. You almost grin; those ruined structures look like they'll be perfect for
swooping around and killing titans.

"That titan on all fours," Erwin says suddenly, and you look over to the beast titan to see
another one next to it. It's got something strapped to its back and a weirdly long snout. "It's
capable of thought."

How do you know? dies on your tongue. Erwin's hunches are normally right; you trust him.

"So that's how the enemy knew we were coming," Eren muses from beside you. "They had a
scout to tell them."

"How many more of them are there?" you mutter.

The beast titan strikes the ground, and a wave of the smaller titans surge forwards. You fidget
in place anxiously, waiting for orders from Erwin. Levi is completely calm at your side,
patient and awaiting orders.

As it always is, trusting Erwin proves to be the correct choice, because he finally yells his
orders. "Dirk Squad and Marlene Squad, go to the inner gate where the Klaus squad is and
protect the horses at all costs!" he commands, voice loud and booming. "Levi Squad and
Hange Squad! Bring down the armored titan!"

Your lungs constrict in your chest. You're up against Reiner.

"Now! In this fight, the future of humanity is at stake!" Erwin shouts, his voice carrying
easily across the wall. You resist the urge to grab Levi's hand. "This is the time to offer your
hearts to humanity! Go!"
There's several choruses of "yes, sir!" and the sound of ODM gear whirring.

"Yes, sir," you echo, and you move to step off the wall.

"Logan, Levi, Armin. Wait."

You pause, turning around. Levi's still frozen in place; he hadn't moved to begin with. Armin
looks frazzled. "What?" you say, eyes flickering to the rest of your squad descending the
wall.

"I said Levi Squad, but Levi, I want you here," Erwin says.

You stiffen- you thought you and Levi would be sticking together. "...you want me to protect
the horses instead of Eren," Levi says slowly.

"Yes. And I want you to kill the beast titan when possible." Erwin points out at the furry titan
and your grip tightens around your blades. "You're the only one I can trust it to." Fair enough;
you can't fault Erwin for wanting to put his best soldier against a formidable enemy.
"Logan," Erwin adds, and you straighten up. "We're not sure what happened that day when
retrieving Eren from Reiner, but he trapped you in his mouth for minutes."

Levi's frozen next to you. Technically, he should've left already, but he's waiting to see what
Erwin wants with you.

"We're not risking capture," Erwin says, "if that was the intention."

You frown. "I don't think it was. Sir."

"Regardless." He points at the horses below. "Your efficiency is second only to Levi," he
says, "and I want to trust Armin to instruct Squad Levi." You don't even have time to see the
baffled look on Armin's face because Erwin is continuing. "We have far too many new
recruits and not enough experience on the main field. You can take down ten titans in the
time it takes them to take one. That's what I want you to do." He must see the look on your
face (you're fighting off the praise) because he adds, "when Bertolt appears, most likely
within Shiganshina, only then would I like you to rejoin your squad. They'll need your
assistance then, and it looks like the beast titan's supply of titans here is limited."

Your shoulders nearly sink in relief. "So I'm a floater," you say.

"Yes. Get going." Erwin nods to you both. "The fate of humanity lies in your hands."

You nod, then turn to Levi. He's already stepping off the wall, so you jump after him.

You hate abandoning the squad, but you're going with Levi- and you're going to be saving a
lot of the newer recruits. Your friends can handle themselves; a lot of these people can't. You
can save them- you can save them all.

"Ready?" Levi calls over the wind rushing in your ears.

"Always!" you shout back.

The two of you hook into the wall and slow your descent, coming to a comfortable stop on a
roof. "Two on the left," Levi calls, and you take off after him as he heads towards the danger.
Your hood blows off, but you're beyond caring at this point- they'll figure out you're not Eren
fast enough anyways.

Levi zips in front of you, faster than you can go, and his blades rip deep through the neck of
one of the titans. You attack the other one, flipping your grip and driving both blades as deep
as you can into the titan's nape.

You push off the titan's head and jump onto the nearest roof; Levi does the same, landing on
the roof next to you. "Captain Levi!" someone yells.

"Go!" Levi shouts, yelling louder than you've ever heard him before. "Move, before that
beast titan starts moving! I'm not having any losses here- not a single one of you is allowed to
die!"

"Yes, sir!"

The scouts take off, and Levi turns to you. "That goes double for you," he warns. "Don't you
dare die."

The moon charm on your collarbone feels warm all of a sudden. "You know I won't," you
assure him. With a twitch of your lips, you add your familiar goodbye. "I'll see you soon."

His shoulders slump slightly. "See you soon," Levi echoes.

The two of you stare at each other for a moment. It's a heavy gaze, filled with longing.
There's nothing left to be said, nothing left to discuss: you two can trust each other to stay
alive and to get your job done. That's all there is to it.

A moment's all you can spare. You turn, and you leap.

As he tends to be, Erwin was completely correct about the newer recruits needing help. Most
of the new scouts were from the Garrison, but there were a few military police- regardless,
none of them have ever had to deal with a situation like this, and it's clear they're all
panicking.

You spy one group of three. One man is clutched in the titan's hand, one woman is standing
on the nearest roof, paralyzed, and the third person is laying unconscious on the roof. Biting
the inside of your cheek, you swoop in and spin, dragging your blades through the titan's
neck and rocketing into the opposite roof.

"Everyone okay?" you call, looking around.

The man in the titan's hand gives you a wave. "Logan!" he says in relief. "Thank you!"

You nod, looking to the man on the roof. What you hadn't seen before was that he's missing a
leg and an arm- nearly his whole side. He's dead. The woman is still standing in shock, eyes
glued to the bloody corpse on the roof.
"Hey," you snap, "get your shit together. Go help him out."

"W- What?" the woman stammers, meeting your eyes.

"Get him out of the dead titan's hand," you say calmly, knowing you don't have the time to
coddle her, "before some other titan comes and kills you. Got it?"

That seems to sober her up, because her jaw locks shut and she nods. You nod in return and
take off, heading towards the nearest titan.

The smaller ones give you virtually no issues. None of them are much taller than the houses,
and as cruel as it feels to say, the new recruits make excellent bait. It's easy to target the titans
that have no focus on you in the first place: their eyes are glued on their prize, the panicked
scout waving blades any which way in the air.

You don't keep track of how many you get to, but it must be at least a dozen when you hear
the armored titan roar.

Several thoughts go through you at once, with the most prominent one being a string of curse
words. He's alive. The second thing that pulses through you is panic- why would he roar? Is
he calling for something?

A shadow crosses overhead.

You squint. It's... it's a barrel?

A barrel. Why would the beast titan toss a barrel? It's soaring far, well beyond your area, and
it's headed over the wall. You frown. Was that Reiner's signal for assistance, and is the beast
titan just going to start throwing stuff and... hoping it hits your team?

No, he's not throwing anything else- so just the one barrel. Besides, why would he want to
throw a barrel when he could throw rocks...

Your stomach drops. Bertolt.

But he hasn't transformed yet, and that's what you hold onto. You zip towards the nearest
titan, trying to keep yourself controlled. Your team is fine. If that really was Bertolt, he hasn't
transformed yet, so maybe you can be optimistic and hope that they've killed him before he
got the chance.

Stupid of you. Oh so stupid of you, because not even a minute later, there's a ground shaking
explosion.

He's transformed.

You drive your blades through the nape of the nearest titan, making sure it's collapsed on the
ground before you immediately start zipping back towards the horses. Your eyes desperately
seek out Levi- you know he's here and that he's been helping relocate the horses, but you still
want to see him before you go over the wall. Just in case.
Just in case? You're not going to die. No need to think that way.

You spy the rookies with the horses. They all seem panicked and jittery, and they haven't
even had to face off with any titans. When you get close enough, you drop yourself to the
ground, nearly stumbling over your own feet as you run towards them.

"Hey!" you yell as soon as you're close enough. "I need gas!"

Some of them turn to the sound of your voice, but none of them move. They all look stricken.

Gritting your teeth, you spin on one of them: a boy with reddish brown hair. "You," you
order. "Switch gas with me. Now."

"What?" the boy cries in protest, one of his hands moving to protect his gas. "Why?"

"Because I'm about to go fight the colossal titan, and you're not," you snap. You start undoing
your canisters, ready to switch out. "It's not like I'm leaving you with nothing- I've got some
left but I need all I can get."

"But what- what if I need them?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you spy Levi touching down on the ground nearby. Your
shoulders sink in relief, then rise again; you don't need him to help you handle this. "Are you
planning on fighting the colossal titan for me?" you ask innocently, cocking your head.

The boy stares at you, silent. Then, he starts fussing with his gas.

Levi steps in to help you hook the new canisters in, working on one of your sides while you
mess with the other. Once everything's clipped in, you thrust your old canisters back at the
new scout, and he starts fumbling with them to put them on. Levi grabs your shoulder. "Set?"

"Set," you agree, and as much as you want to kiss him, you know you don't have time.
Bertolt's transformation was at least a minute ago. "I'll see you soon," you say quickly.

He squeezes your shoulder. "See you soon."

You give him one last smile before you turn to the wall and start to climb.

The journey up the wall feels much too long, but you finally shoot yourself up to the top.
Erwin's still perched on the wall and you stumble next to him, eyes locked on the colossal
titan. It- he- is lumbering towards you, setting fire to everything it- he, damn it- touches.

"Situation?" you ask breathlessly, because you can't see anyone and you're starting to panic.

"Unclear," Erwin replies, which doesn't help. "Most seemed to be in the area of the blast site
when Bertolt transformed. We've taken massive losses."

Your brain stops. "What?"

"We also can't let Bertolt get too close to the wall, otherwise, the horses could get torched,"
Erwin says calmly, like he hasn't just told you that your friends are all probably dead. You're
still staring at him in disbelief as he says, "Reiner seems to have been taken down for the
time being, but that's our only victory, and it's entirely possible that he'll just get up later."

"What?" you repeat, because it feels like you're processing everything in slow motion.

Erwin looks at you. "How'd you leave the situation?"

You open your mouth, then close it. Despite it being such a dire situation in which both time
and every bit of information is critical, Erwin waits patiently for you to collect yourself. You
need to stop thinking about it. He said he doesn't know- which means they could be alive.
Yes. They're all alive- that's what you need to assume, or else you're never going to be able to
focus.

You straighten yourself up. "Most of the smaller titans were disposed of," you say. "I got
most of them. We've only taken a few losses. I swapped gas with one of the new recruits so
I've got nearly full tanks and I'm good to go."

"Good," Erwin says. "The colossal titan is yours."

You stare at him for a moment. Then, you laugh. "Right," you say, grinning madly. "I got it.
I'll figure out something."

He nods. "I leave this to you. Eren will most definitely still be alive," Erwin says, and you
glance at him again. "Have some faith."

Have some faith.

You nod, and Erwin nods in return. Then, he turns towards the other side of the wall, and he's
gone.

You look back towards the city of Shiganshina. Bertolt seems to have his gaze fixed on you,
but he moves slowly; it'll be another minute until he gets close. You don't have any of those
new lightning spears that the engineering team designed, nor do you have any allies right
now. It's quite literally just you and your ODM gear against a sixty meter titan.

Hysteria bubbles up in you. This is a hopelessness that you haven't felt since that damn metal
bench in the dungeon of that military base.

Laughter fills your ears- your laughter. "Bring it on, you fucker!" you howl, pointing a blade
at Bertolt. "Just you and me now, you- you cowardly, worthless asshole!"

Then, you see them. Eren as a titan with several scouts on his back.

Relief immediately floods your body. You knew it; they weren't dead. But it looks like they're
planning something, so you need to keep Bertolt distracted while they can do... well,
whatever they're trying to do. It's better than anything you've got.
"You shithead!" you yell, summoning whatever curses and insults you can drag from the back
of your mind. "You lying, deceitful asshole! You really lived with us and ate with us like you
didn't kill thousands! Thousands! You're a fucking murderer," you spit, fueled by your rage.
"You're a god damn murderer! Kids, Bertolt! Kids!"

Then, your squad makes their move. You see Eren lunge forwards to grab onto Bertolt's shin
while the rest of the scouts scatter, surrounding him. For a second, it almost looks like Eren is
pushing him back and you straighten up in excitement, but it's quite the opposite. Bertolt is
swinging his leg back with Eren still attached to him.

Swinging his leg back... he's going to kick him. At you.

"Shit!" you cry out as Bertolt shoots his leg forward, and Eren is propelled through the air
towards you. You know you can't run fast enough to run across the wall in time, so you jump
backwards, throwing yourself over the edge. Eren hits the wall not even a second after you've
jumped, and you throw your hooks into the wall to keep yourself from dropping down too
far.

You glance below you at the tiny specs that are Levi, Erwin, and the rest of the scouts. Then,
you look back up to where Eren is now laying motionless on the wall.

Steeling your resolve, you shoot back up to Eren. "Eren," you call, zooming up next to his
ear. "Eren!"

No movement.

"Eren!" you snap. "Get your ass up!"

Still no movement. His back is on the wall, so you can't really get to his nape, even if you
wanted to try and cut him out. Your brain is buzzing with possible options when there's a
blast of hot air that threatens to sweep you off the wall. You pitch your hooks into the brick to
keep yourself grounded and look up; Bertolt's letting off steam.

He can do that at will? Crap. Are you ever actually going to be able to get close to him?

Gritting your teeth, you glance down. You think you can make out your friends on the roof of
one of the houses that's still intact- so hopefully they're all okay. As the smoke clears, your
jaw slips open. The armored titan is standing up, lumbering towards Bertolt.

Shit.

"Eren," you say slowly, "it'd be really nice to have you right about now."

Still no response. Fuck.

"Sorry, Eren," you whisper, and you jump down the wall. Your friends need you right now,
especially with Reiner back on his feet, and you can't wait for Eren to pull himself together.

You swoop down, wind stinging your face as you drop and start to speed across the buildings.
You swing wide of the colossal titan, staying low- hopefully he doesn't notice you- and trying
to scan for your friends. You can see at least one of them- no, make that two. Three! There's a
few of them trying to gather their bearings.

Sasha sees you first, and the smile on her face instantly makes you feel a bit better. "Logan!"
she says in relief.

Everyone else turns to look, and you do a quick head count. Sure enough, your whole squad
is here, minus Eren at the top of the wall. You don't ask about Hange- you can't know. Not
now. "It's good to see you're okay," you say, surveying everyone for injuries. Mikasa's
bleeding a bit but she seems okay; otherwise, everyone seems fine. "How can I help?"

Slowly, everyone looks to Armin. He looks panicked for a moment; then, he musters up his
courage and says, "Eren and I are going to take on the colossal titan."

"You've got a plan?" you ask, raising your eyebrows.

He nods, determination shining in his eyes. "Yeah."

"Okay," you agree. "So we're on the armored titan. Let's go." Armin nods, gives the rest of
the group one last smile, and then he's off. You look towards Mikasa. "You're good?"

"Thunder spear hit me," she confesses. "Shallow. I'm fine."

"Good. How many spears do we have?"

Connie holds up an arm, and Sasha follows suit. "Four," Jean says, glancing around. "We've
got to try and distract him with four."

Distract. Not kill.

Your friends still don't want to kill him if they don't have to. You sympathize, you really do,
but you know better at this point. He needs to be killed.

"Do you want mine?" Connie offers, holding out his spear. "You're better with it then I am."

You shake your head. "Nah, I'm good. I prefer my blades."

"But you can't cut through his armor," Sasha protests.

"I can if you guys break through it first," you suggest, glancing at Mikasa. She nods- she
understands you. "Plus, he's got joints. Backs of the knees. I can try and aim for those."

"That's a tight cut," Jean warns.

"Try me," you say. "Let's go."

The five of you all take off, ready to intercept. Reiner's since burst into a run, heading
towards you, and you tighten your grip on your blades. "We just need to keep Reiner from
interfering with Armin's plan!" Jean shouts, raising his spear. "Keep a subtle distance and
divert him!"
It's a good plan, but Reiner's not going to be distracted by the five of you. Apparently, you're
the only one that didn't expect a diversion to work, because everyone else seems surprised
when Reiner barrels straight by you. Undeterred, you hook your grapples into Reiner's back
and swoop in, closing the distance until your feet touch his back.

Realistically, you know trying to hit that opening at the back of his knee is near impossible,
especially while he's moving. But maybe you can give him a proper distraction.

You spin yourself around Reiner's neck and perch yourself right on his face.

"Try eating me now, you fucker!" you snarl.

Maybe Reiner's genuinely surprised. Or maybe he thinks you have a thunder spear and you're
going to attack him. Either way, he slows down.

And at the perfect moment, Mikasa swoops in and sends a thunder spear straight into the
back of Reiner's leg.

The titan lurches, falling towards the ground, and you push yourself off of his face, swinging
towards the nearest building before Reiner can fall on you. Once he's crashed onto the
ground, you swing yourself towards his knee. Mikasa blew up the armor, so you take the
opportunity to drive your blade as deeply into the back of his knee as you can. He won't be
getting up anytime soon.

Reiner rotates onto his back to try and sit himself up, and you zoom back into his face as the
rest of the squad approaches. You need to distract him. "Reiner!" you holler, moving towards
his face. "You asshole!"

He reaches for you, and you change your angle to swoop upwards, out of reach. As you get
out of the way, Sasha and Connie jump in with thunder spears- from the looks of it, they're
going for his jaw. Connie's spear hits, but Reiner swings his hand in the way and Sasha gets
knocked off course, thunder spear discarded. You change course once again, intercepting
Sasha before she can hit the ground and landing on a nearby roof with Mikasa.

"Is she okay?" Connie asks, panicky. "Sasha! Is she-"

"Fine," you call back, lowering Sasha to the roof. Her chest is rising and falling; she's
breathing okay. "Just knocked out, I think. Did you get his jaw?"

"No," Mikasa says, but the look in her eyes doesn't change. She's still going to try and sink a
hit with the last spear. Your guess is that she's going through his mouth.

"Mikasa-" you start.

Someone zooms by your head. There's an explosion, and the other side of Reiner's head
explodes. His jaw drops open. You glance back to Mikasa, but her thunder spear is still on her
arm. You turn back to the explosion and tears nearly spark in your eyes: it's Hange. They're
alright.

"Now, Mikasa!" Hange yells.

"Go!" you urge, and Mikasa jumps. She hooks herself straight onto Reiner's shoulder and
whips the spear into the depth of Reiner's mouth. There's a blinding explosion, and the
armored titan collapses to the ground. Steam erupts from his body; Reiner's out for the count.

You got him. "We got him," you say, almost in disbelief.

"Look," Jean points out, and you look back towards where Eren and Armin were supposed to
take on the colossal titan. The titan is gone; hopefully, that means they won. "Did we really
get them both?"

"Here's hoping," you say softly.

Mikasa sets to work cutting Reiner out of the titan body, and you jog over to Hange. "Hey,"
they greet, eyes- no, eye, singular- void of their usual mischief. One of their eyes is dripping
with blood; it's probably destroyed. "Good to see that you're-"

You lunge and grab Hange in a hug. "I'm so happy you're okay," you murmur into their
shoulder, squeezing tight.

You feel Hange sigh into your hug. "You too," they say in return. "We're not done yet,
though."

Mikasa drags Reiner towards the wall of one of the houses. His arms and legs have been cut,
and Mikasa's holding a small metal case in her hands. "He was trying to reach for this," she
says, handing it to Hange.

Hange nods in thanks. You want to ask about Moblit, but if he's not here and Hange isn't
thinking about looking for him, then...

You swallow the bile in your throat and shove the thought away. You're still not done here;
you need to stay focused.

You busy yourself with tending to Sasha. She's banged up, but it's nothing that looks
permanent- she'll be okay. Connie sits with you, helping you where he can. Hange is
interrogating Reiner alongside Jean and Mikasa, and there's some sort of debate going on.
You glance up just as Mikasa takes off, heading towards where Eren and Armin should be.

"She's going to check on their situation," Hange says, reading your mind. "To see if someone
there requires the titan injection."

Injection- the serum Levi got from Kenny that Erwin tasked him with taking care of. You
nearly forgot it existed. "Right," you agree. "She has enough gas?"

"Enough to make it there. Anyone else have any?"

The rest of your squad shakes their head, but you nod. "I swapped with a recruit on my way
over the wall," you say. "I've still got some."

Hange nods. "Good. We might need you for message relay-"

There's a bang of a red flare. "Is that the sign?" you ask.

They nod. "Yeah. We'll kill Reiner-"

A titan comes out of nowhere. It's running on all fours, which isn't totally out of the ordinary
for titans, but there's several crates and barrels strapped to its back. It's the scout titan that
Erwin was talking about up on the wall- the one that probably notified Reiner, Bertolt, and
the beast titan about your appearance at the walls. It's running at Hange and Reiner.

"Hange!" you cry, but Jean moves faster than you do. He tackles Hange out of the way, and
you're forced to dive to the side to get out of the warpath of the titan.

As you roll up to your feet, you see the titan's mouth close around Reiner's mutilated body.
There's a blond man sitting on the back of the titan. His hair is long and he's got some sort of
scruffy beard, and his glasses are crooked on his nose. He's missing most of his arms and
legs; the stumps he does have are hooked into the ropes of the crates for balance. He's got the
markings of a titan on his face.

It clicks in your head: the beast titan. That's the only other titan he could be.

And they're getting away.

"I got them!" you yell, shooting your grapples at the nearest building. Switching with that
new recruit had been a smart move- you've still got plenty of gas left.

"Wait!" Connie cries, and he starts to follow.

"Connie!" Hange calls. "You've got no gas!"

But you've got some. You hurtle forwards, heading for the titan on all fours. It's fast, but it
has to navigate the streets and buildings; following by air, you've got the advantage. "Got
you," you mutter, and you swoop in as the titan tries to make a turn. Your blades slice through
its ankle.

The titan stumbles, and the man on its back cries out in surprise. You don't wait. You shoot
your hooks into a building across the street, plant your boots into the brick, then propel
yourself directly into the titan's path. This titan has yet to participate in the offense; it only
runs around carrying supplies or people. Plus, it's got Reiner in its mouth, so it would have to
drop him to bite you. Your chances of getting attacked by it are slim to none.

You swipe low and strike the titan's front arm. You don't completely sever its wrist, but it
stumbles. You jump, and you finally meet the eyes of the man on the back. You can't tell if
he's surprised, annoyed, or terrified; maybe all of the above.

You swing, and your blade lodges into the snout of the titan but doesn't pass through. "Shit!"
you curse, letting go of the blade. You've only got one now, but it's all you need. Switching
your remaining blade to your dominant hand, you dive at the front legs again and spin, taking
out both limbs completely. The titan groans and collapses to the ground.
With a huff, you jump backwards off the titan as it falls, landing on the ground. The beast
titan is finally starting to look panicked. "Pieck!" he yells, and you don't know if that's code
for something or a name or a command. "Shit!"

You stand up straight and point your remaining blade at the titan solemnly, blood trickling
from the corner of your mouth and trailing down your forehead. "You're not getting by me,"
you snarl.

"The scar," the man says, and you blink. "Logan?"

How would he know? You jump up onto the titan's head, steam spitting from its useless
limbs. "Beast titan," you say with a scowl, pointing your blade at him. He can't go anywhere,
thankfully. "Leaving so soon?"

There's an eruption of steam, and a figure pushes out of the back of the titan's neck. So it is a
person after all. "Pieck!" the beast titan says desperately.

A name. The person that emerges is female, with long black hair that's poking out wildly in
every direction. Her eyes flutter open and land on you, and you point your blade at her and
drive the tip of it into her chest. "You too, huh," you mutter, wondering how you're going to
detain two titan shifters- three if you include Reiner.

At least all three of them are still recovering. From Hange's experiments with Eren, he always
needed time between transformations, or he risked a pathetically weak titan form. The whole
'titanization' process takes time, so you just need to wait for assistance. You let your gaze rise
for a half second, looking to where Mikasa had fired that flare off. There's several figures on
the roof.

You nearly collapse in relief. One of them is Levi. You knew he'd be fine, but it's still so
comforting to see.

You turn back down to the titans. You remember the red flare from Mikasa: someone else
was in need of the injection, and they had Bertolt now. So you've got no need for these two.
"No hard feelings," you snarl, ready to drive your blade into the woman's throat.

"Wait!" the blond man cries, but you don't. You thrust your blade forward, and he knocks his
body into the woman's- Pieck's. Your blade sinks into his shoulder instead of her throat and
he growls. "Pieck! Now!"

Now, what?

You whip your head to the woman, and she brings her arm up to her mouth. She's going to
bite... shit, is she transforming? They waited until you got close-

Wait, she shouldn't be able to transform right away-

You let go of your blade and throw yourself off of the discarded titan carcass, but it's too little
too late. The explosion that follows isn't as intense as when Eren transforms, nor is it as
deadly as Bertolt's transformation, but it's plenty strong enough to propel you backwards.
Wind whistles in your ears, bells go off in your head. You scrunch your eyes shut, pulling
your arms up around your head and bracing yourself, but there's really not much you can do
to prepare for the roof you crash into.

The wind is knocked out of you. Sharp spikes of pain erupt up your back and your shoulders,
and you cry out. You open your eyes and see the same titan from before- this time without all
of the luggage or supplies on its back. Your gut reaction is to push yourself up and chase, but
as soon as you try, your back whistles in pain. Groaning, you raise your head. The titan-
Pieck- is pawing through the destroyed supplies on the ground, pulling at ropes and crates.

It's assembling something. Some sort of makeshift harness that it's wrapping around its
shoulders and neck. With one arm, it scoops the blond man up onto its back, then pries open
the jaw of the steaming titan body that the woman just exited and picks out Reiner.

"No..." you mumble. They're getting away.

They're fucking getting away and you can't stop them-

The titan lumbers up onto the roof of the building in front of you, eyeing you warily. The
man on the back calls out, "a draw, then."

Cheap move, you want to shout, but there's still not enough air in your lungs.

"You know, Reiner and Bertolt told me about you," he continues. "Levi's weak spot, hm?"

Dozens of curse words had been posed on your tongue but they seem to die immediately.
Well, of course Reiner and Bertolt would've filled him in on what to expect from the enemy,
and Levi would be the first person they'd talk about. It makes sense now why he recognized
you from your scar.

"They said you could be an asset, and I see what they meant."

"Go to hell," you rasp, praying that they don't attack you because there's no way you could
actually get yourself up to fight back.

The man hums. "I figured. Not such a 'weak' weak spot," he says lowly. You're not sure
whether you're flattered or creeped out. "Well, until next time, Logan."

You want to reply with something witty or sharp, but your vision hazes over and you tip your
head back against the broken roof. The titan scrambles over houses, leaving your field of
view, and you let your eyes flutter shut. You're exhausted.

You manage to hang onto consciousness for another few moments before darkness washes
over you and you mercifully pass out.

"L. Come on, get up."

Tempting, but you're just so damn tired.

"Dammit, Logan, please. Come on."

Levi.

A hand grips your shoulder and shakes your arm. You blink slowly and open your eyes, and
the first thing you see is the steam of a titan billowing up from a nearby street. There are
figures huddled around the titan, pulling someone out of its nape. You're still in the same spot
as before, from when you hit the roof; you can feel the broken shingles digging into your
sides.

"You fucking idiot," the voice snaps, and you turn your head. Levi is crouched next to you,
blood dripping down his face. "You should've just let them go."

You roll your eyes lightly. "Don't tell me you weren't planning on pursuing either."

"He was," someone else says, and you glance around Levi to see Hange. They smile wryly.
"How're you feeling?"

"Shitty," you grumble.

Levi's grip tightens on your shoulder. "Can you feel everything?" he says sharply, looking
down at your legs then back up at you. "Anything broken?"

"Kick my leg," you say tiredly, nodding your chin at your legs. Levi raises an eyebrow, then
kicks you. You feel the sting from his kick and sigh in relief. "Yeah, I felt that. All good."

"Up," Levi orders, and he helps pull you up from the roof. Slowly, you work yourself up to a
sitting position, rolling your shoulders backwards. Everything aches, but it doesn't feel like
anything is broken. You got lucky.

You give him a nod. You're okay.

Levi's frown dissipates, and he leans in to press his lips to the side of your head. You lean
into him, letting your shoulders fall and your eyes close. So many questions are flying
through your head- what happened, did they get away, who died- but you savor your moment
with Levi, grateful that he's alive. "You okay?" you ask, knowing he's going to lie.

To your surprise, he doesn't. "No," he mutters.

You're about to ask why, but he moves out of the way, and you see where Hange is: crouched
next to a body.

"No," you say immediately.

"Logan-"

"No," you repeat, because that body on the roof should definitely not be Erwin. After
everything he's been through, everything he's put himself through, he can't be- he's not-
"Logan," Hange repeats, their hand gently combing through some of Erwin hair, "it was- it
was peaceful, this is what he wanted."

You shake your head violently, tears stabbing at your eyes. "No!" you snap, and you start
trying to stand up. Levi puts a stop to it immediately, holding you in place. "Get off!" you
argue, shoving at his hands, but he holds tight and you don't have the strength to fight him
off. "Get off me! Get off! He's not- he's not dead!"

"L," Levi says, and he sounds so painfully defeated that it drains the fight from you. "It's my
fault. I made a choice."

You don't even want to comprehend what that means. "No," you repeat, because you don't
want to accept it. You can't accept it. "He's not dead. He doesn't just- Erwin doesn't just keel
over and die, he doesn't..."

Levi pulls you into him, and you collapse wordlessly into his shirt. You can't even cry, still
too shocked to actually comprehend the gravity of the situation, but you're shaking like a leaf.
Levi's shaking too, hands trembling as he tries to hold onto you.

"He's not dead," you whisper into Levi's chest, completely in denial. "He's not dead."

How could Erwin, of all people, be dead? Erwin, who sliced off his own arm to get himself
out of a titan's grip? Erwin, who was always there for you even when you weren't quite sure
what you needed? Erwin, who always rooted for you in his own private way? Erwin, who
managed to get you on an expedition outside the walls to boost your memory, who arranged
for a horse so you could visit Levi, who arranged for Levi to teach you privately during
training?

"Logan," Hange says gently. You can't see it, but they exchange a glance with Levi. "We're-
we're all that's left. The ten of us."

Something deep in your core pulses, and your brain feels like it's shut off. Your lips try to
form words, but no sound comes out.

Levi doesn't say a word; his grip around you tightens. "The only other survivor from the other
side of the wall is Floch," Hange explains softly, eyes fixed on something very far away in
the distance. "Levi Squad is the only one completely intact. I'm the only one left from my
squad."

Ten. Only ten people survived?

The heaviness of the statement starts to sink in, and your eyes widen. "...Moblit?" you
whisper, verbalizing the name that you'd been scared to say earlier.

You see tears well up in Hange's eyes- well, eye. They've only got the one good one now.
They don't respond, but the lack of an answer is more than enough.

"No," you say again. Your vocabulary feels awfully limited. "Holy shit," you rasp, your chest
suddenly feeling painfully tight. All those new kids, all so inexperienced and so panicked in
 the field. Maybe if you had stayed on that side of the wall, you could've helped save some of
them-

"Stop."

You pinch your lips together and settle deeper into Levi's chest.

"There's no point," Levi says hollowly. He definitely knows exactly what you were thinking.
"We pick the decision we'll regret the least, and we live with the consequences. These are
ours. It's done."

It's done.

It can't be done. All these people can't be dead, dead with nothing to show for it. Sure, Wall
Maria's secured once again, but what about all of those intruders? Reiner and Bertolt, the
beast titan and that other woman who blasted you away- did they really all get away?

"I'm tired," you say suddenly, not quite sure where it comes from.

Levi's lips move to your forehead. "Rest," he orders softly. "We'll take care of everything
from here."

You don't even hear the last bit of it; your eyes have rolled into the back of your head and
you're gone by the time he's said rest.

Chapter End Notes

I, like many of you, hate this arc because I hate reliving it. Please pardon any
grammatical errors as I didn't even want to reread this lmao.

Okay here's where it gets fun (very very minor manga spoilers ahead):

One of the powers of Pieck's titan that's revealed in the manga is that she can perform
several transformations in a row with minimal issues due to the cart titan's endurance.
That's what I based the last part of the chapter off of, and I understand if that may be
confusing for some of my anime watchers. My apologies.

I love you guys. 60k hits is huge. You all mean so much to me. Next week is the last
chapter of season 3 and then we're onto season 4!! <3
 3-9
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You're woken up to the sound of talking and scuffling. You barely remember falling asleep in
the first place, if you're entirely honest. There's some chatter, and you try to crack your eyes
open, but the light is painfully blinding and you give up. Forgoing sight, you decide to just
listen.

"...four hours since the battle ended," someone's saying, and it sounds like Jean. "We spent it
all looking for survivors, but we found none."

Someone shuffles next to you. You inhale, then exhale slowly.

"So," someone says quietly, and you're pretty sure it's Armin, "the gate to Shiganshina is
sealed. You assume Reiner, the beast titan, and one other have fled."

"Pieck," you croak out.

There's instantaneous shuffling towards you. "Logan! You're up," you hear Eren say, and an
arm eases under your back to lift you. Grimacing, you let whoever's helping you sit you up,
and you raise a hand to your forehead. "How you feeling?" Eren asks.

You open your eyes. Eren's crouched in front of you, and a quick glance sideways shows that
it was Levi that eased you up. Of course.

"Fine," you say, glancing around. Armin's beside you, also on a makeshift bed- weird, he
doesn't look injured- and Sasha's on his other side, still resting. Levi's next to you, a
comforting presence by your side with a lingering hand on your back. Connie and Jean are
sitting near Sasha, and Hange's just a little further away. There's another scout just behind
them that you vaguely recognize as one of the new scouts with the horses. "Her name's
Pieck," you add.

"Her?" Levi says, fingers rubbing gently across your back.

The touch is hidden from the others and very much welcome; you're still a little disoriented
from waking up. "The titan that carried them away," you explain, the memory coming back to
you. "I... I caught them."

There's a pause. You glance around, knowing you interrupted, but no one seems keen on
picking up their conversation again. You turn to Levi, and he nods, so you continue.

"I caught them," you start again, turning your eyes downwards. "She- she had long black hair,
and she came out of the back of the titan. I was... I was just going to hold them there, wait for
back up, but she... she transformed again."

"She transformed again?" Levi repeats.

"Don't you need time in between?" Connie asks, glancing at Eren.

You nod vigorously, trying to justify their escape from you in your head. "I thought so," you
agree, frustrated tears biting at your eyes. "But she- she just transformed again, no hesitation.
And it threw me off."

There's a heavy silence.

"Maybe that's just a unique power for that titan," Hange says thoughtfully. "Quick
transformations."

"I- I'm sorry," you force out. "I let them-"

"Enough," Levi says sharply, and you pinch your lips together. "There's no way you could've
known. Clearly, they had some surprises for us. It's not your fault."

Not my fault.

No way you could've known that would happen. No way you could've know that titan- Pieck-
could transform again right away.

Right.

"Armin," Levi says, his hand still on your back. "Keep going."

Armin looks startled, but he continues, a haunted look in his eyes. "So, you all, you
successfully kidnapped Bertolt," he says hollowly, and you straighten up. You have a feeling
he's going to talk about what happened when you were passed out. "When both Commander
Erwin and I were on the brink of death," Armin continues slowly, "after a disagreement about
who should receive the injection..."

Erwin's dead.

You forgot about that part.

You squeeze your eyes shut and reach around you with one hand; Levi's hand drops from
your back to your hand to grab on. He squeezes and you squeeze in return.

"...I turned into a titan and ate Bertolt," Armin says, voice deathly quiet.

Silence follows. Armin seizes a nearby water bottle and drains it, nearly choking. You glance
up at Levi but his gaze is fixed straight ahead, unwavering.

"Why did you choose me?" Armin whispers, eyes wide. "Wouldn't anyone look at that
situation and decide to bring Commander Erwin back to life?" He turns on Levi, panic rising
in his expression. "Captain," he asks desperately, "why would you give the injection to me?"

Levi lets go of your hand, standing up, and he starts launching into some explanation about
Eren and Mikasa getting in the way, but you don't listen. You bring your hands up to your
forehead, trying to force yourself to breathe in and out at a steady pace. Erwin can't be dead.
There's no way.

And it was Levi who made the choice. Armin over Erwin.

Why would he make that choice? Levi's known Erwin for years, been one of his closest
friends- you've always known you could trust Erwin solely because Levi said you could.
Erwin was always the one Levi would go to, he was the one Levi could trust you to if he
couldn't be there for you. So what made him choose Armin?

God. You can't imagine ever having to make a decision like that.

It doesn't make logical sense either, and you've always known Levi to be a very rational
person. Erwin is the commander of the Survey Corps: he makes crazy strategies, works
tirelessly to succeed, knows how to make sacrifices, and he's a huge figurehead for the
scouts.

Armin's smart too, though. You vaguely remember it being Armin's idea to move the rock in
front of the gate back in Trost. He's always been quick to figure things out and he's much
sharper than you give him credit for sometimes. The largest difference between him and
Erwin is experience.

So why? Why would Levi choose Armin? Guaranteed, the military pigs aren't going to be
happy with it.

Hange says Levi's name and you tune yourself back into the conversation. "The other five of
you, keep watch from the four sides of the Shiganshina district wall. Logan, you good to go?"

"Sure," you reply. You've got no idea if you are or not.

"Good. Let's get going, then."

"Give us a minute," Levi says.

There's a pause, then several murmurs of "yes, captain" before people start to leave. Eren and
Mikasa head out with Hange and the rest of your friends start scattering; Jean helps Armin to
his feet and Connie joins them. Sasha's the only one left, but she looks like she's passed out.

Levi crouches down next to you. You reach for his hand again and he links your pinky fingers
together. It only lasts for a moment; he sighs and drops your hands, eyes turning downwards.

"What?" you ask.

"I went through the bodies that were left intact," Levi says. He pauses for a moment,
monitoring your expression. "...I collected a lot of badges," he continues. "Just wanted to let
you know."

You nod along, ignoring the cold vice around your heart. You know Levi's not done, so you
wait; somehow, you know it has something to do with Erwin.
He sighs. "Be mad at me later," Levi mutters. "We're still not done here."

Your face drops. "Why would I be mad at you?" you whisper. Did he really think that your
immediate reaction to his decision would be anger? You can't even fathom having to make a
choice like that, to have to choose between friends- so how could you be mad at Levi for
something that obviously must've been so hard for him? It doesn't matter if you don't
understand; you trust that Levi made the choice he thought was best.

Levi eyes you warily. "I made the choice," he says steadily. "Any feelings you have about
that decision are completely justified-"

Wordlessly, you grab Levi and pull him in for a hug. You don't care if there's other priorities
right now; you need him to know that you'd never be mad at him for a situation like this.
Levi's always been a very logical fighter. He made the best decision he could under the
circumstances, you're sure of it, and he obviously feels awful enough as is. Why would you
make it worse?

"Shut up," you murmur into his shoulder. "Just... shut up."

Finally, finally, Levi's arm snakes around your back, and he holds on tight. You sigh softly
into his cloak. What have you been thinking? Obviously, Levi cared for Erwin, and this
choice can't have been easy for him.

"...I know what Erwin meant to you," you croak out, your throat painfully tight. "I- I'm
sorry."

Levi doesn't reply.

You pull back slightly, blinking back tears as you continue, "if you want to talk-"

"Thanks," he interrupts. "I don't."

Oh. You pull back even further, dropping your hand from his shoulder. "Sorry," you mutter,
ducking your head.

"No, I..." Levi trails off. He sighs, reaching out his hand to cup the back of your neck. "Not
what I meant," he clarifies, thumb rubbing at the back of your head. "We're not done here.
Only Eren's basement left. Then we'll go home."

You nod, eyes fluttering shut. You feel Levi's forehead tip against yours. "Okay," you agree
quietly. "Then we'll go home."

Levi continues to let his thumb drift across the base of your skull, effectively calming you
down. "Erwin meant something to you too," he manages, and you swallow hard. "I decided it
was time for him to rest. He's done enough."

He's done enough. That's fair; Erwin's been at this longer than either of you.

"I made this his final resting place," Levi says steadily, but you can hear the hesitance in his
voice. "Straight down the wall from here, third house to the right, second floor. If you want to
see him."

You nod again, forehead rocking against his. "Yes," you whisper. "Yes. Thank you."

"You good to go alone?"

"I won't be alone," you murmur. "I'll have Erwin."

Levi pulls back, then leans in and presses his lips to your forehead. "Don't push yourself," he
warns. He glances sideways, then back to you. "See you soon," he adds.

You can't help but smile weakly. "See you soon," you echo.

He nods. Levi stands up, fingers lingering on the back of your head for as long as they can
before he pulls away. Then he's gone, jogging away down the wall until he steps off the side
and he's out of sight.

"That was cute."

You whirl on Sasha, who's smiling from her position on the ground. "I thought you were
passed out," you say, but you don't have it in you to be mad at her for eavesdropping.

Sasha cracks an eye open. "I heard the last bit," she rasps. "You two aren't very... sappy, are
you?"

"Guess not," you say.

See you soon. Your way of saying that you'll see each other again, no matter what gets in your
way.

You smile stupidly to yourself as you force yourself to your feet. Sappy in your own way, you
suppose. "Guess not," you repeat softly. You glance back to Sasha, but she's started snoring.
Yeah, she's out cold again. Smiling to yourself, you start hunting around for ODM gear.

Once you're geared up, you stretch a bit- everything still feels painfully sore- before you
slowly lower yourself down the wall. Levi said third to the right... which right?

It takes you a minute to locate the house, but eventually you find it: the door's been propped
open and you can see footprints inside, marked thanks to the dust. Slowly, you follow the
footprints towards the stairs and take the steps up to the second floor.

There's only three rooms, and the door is closed to one of them. You pause in front of it.

How many times have you done this now? Stopped in front of Erwin's door, worried about
what you were going to say when you went in?

"Oh, Erwin," you say quietly. Even dead, he's got a hold over you.

Carefully, you reach for the door handle and push open the door. You stop, anxiety sucking
the air out of your lungs. Erwin's body is there, laying on a bed, with a cloak covering his
chest and face.

Bile rises in your throat; you swallow it. You step inside.

Slowly, you cross the floor, the wooden planks creaking beneath your feet. With the cloak
covering him, you can't even see where his arm is missing. He looks completely normal, like
he could be asleep. You don't dare move the cloak and see otherwise.

"Hey," you say feebly.

Obviously, there's no reply. You slump down next to his bed, falling onto your knees. You
raise your arms, lacing your fingers and letting your weary limbs rest on the bed.

He's really gone, isn't he?

"Hey, Erwin," you say, lips twitching. "I don't even have to see you to know that you- you
look like shit."

Laughter bubbles up in your throat.

Then, it's replaced by sobs.

The ride back is desolate and lonely. No one really speaks.

Even when all ten of you get back to the wall and the crowd is cheering your return. Even
when you ride through the city to hundreds, thousands of cheering citizens, none of you
speak a word. What's there to say? How can you celebrate a victory in which so many people
died?

Levi and Hange are called in by the military for a debrief; everyone else is sent to their
rooms. You take the longest bath known to the history of mankind, and then you head back to
Levi's room- you can't remember the last time you even considered spending the night
anywhere else.

His meeting is probably going to run long, you think to yourself. That's fine; you can wait.

And so you do. Half an hour. Then an hour. Then some more.

Night has long since fallen, and Levi has yet to come back. You can't fall asleep. You don't
want to have to sleep on your own, not after everything you went through today.

Finally, you decide to get up. You throw on a sweater for warmth and wander out into the
hallway. Even if you can't find Levi, even if he doesn't want to be found- you may as well do
something else since you're not going to sleep anyways.

Arms crossed under your chest, you wander through the empty hallways, back tingling. You
don't want to be alone right now; you desperately need Levi, need someone to be around you
so that you don't spiral, because you're dangerously close to panicking. You just don't want to
be alone, not right now.

"Logan?"

You turn. Relief clouds your brain. "Hange," you say with a weak smile. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," they return, wandering towards you. Without needing to ask, they pull you
towards them, and you happily give Hange a hug in return. The comfort is nice and very
much needed, but eventually, you pull away.

"Can't sleep?" you ask.

Hange shakes their head. There's a hollow silence that follows; you both know exactly why
you can't sleep. Hange raises their hand up to their bandaged eye, chuckling weakly. "If you
ever decided to bring back the eye patch, we could be twins."

You force a smile. "Yeah." You pause, then continue. "Were you looking for anyone?"

Hange's smile dips. "I walked without meaning to. Ended up at Moblit's old room." The
haunted look in their eye hurts your heart. "I, uh... don't know if I can sleep."

"Me neither."

"Why're you up and about?"

"Looking for Levi," you say, glancing down the empty hallway. "He was supposed to be back
in his room by now and he hasn't showed, so..." you trail off. "I didn't really want to be alone,
so I went to look for him."

Hange nods in understanding. "Want help looking for him?"

"No need."

The both of you turn. Levi's emerged from one end of the adjoining hallways, stripped down
to a grey long sleeve and black pants. His eyes meet yours. "Needed time to myself. Sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's fine," you say immediately. "You okay?"

"Fine."

That's a lie. But, well, you don't think any of you will ever be completely fine ever again.
You'd thought that after being tortured by Kenny and Traute, but months of healing helped
you cope with it. How exactly do you cope with being one of ten survivors in a massacre?
Where some of the closest people to you died?

Hange clears their throat awkwardly. "Wow. Okay, uh... anyone have any good late night
activities?"
"It's raining," Levi says, eyes shifting to you. You get his meaning immediately: star gazing is
out. "Miserable as hell."

"Fitting," you say without thinking. As if this wasn't depressing enough.

"Well, we may as well pretend to try and sleep," Hange says with forced optimism, clapping
their hands. "My room?"

You smile, and this time it's genuine. "Okay," you agree, turning back to Levi. "Come on."

He clicks his tongue, but he follows anyways. Hange leads you back down the hallway, the
way they came from, and takes a turn. It feels disturbingly empty. All of these rooms should
be full with soldiers, your comrades, ready to head into another day of training for the next
expedition. Your stomach churns and you swallow the bile collecting in your throat.

Hange opens the door to their room and heads towards their vanity, fidgeting with the
bandages covering their eye. You step aside to make room for Levi as he walks past you, his
lip curling as he glares at the windowsill. Probably mad about the dust, you think to yourself
with a wry smile. You've been having a hard time trying to find comfort since you got back,
but somehow seeing Levi's little habits soothes you.

Suddenly, he slumps. Like a puppet cut from its strings, Levi drops to the floor. He shifts to a
sitting position and leans his back against the side of Hange's bed, pulling his knees into his
chest. "I hate this," he mutters.

You're not sure what he's referring to in specific, but assuming he means the aftermath of the
battle of Shiganshina is a fair guess. You share a quick glance with Hange, and they laugh
weakly. "I've got a perfectly good bed, Levi," they say.

"It's filthy," Levi replies.

You smile weakly. "It's not bad."

"You're not the one who cleans our room." Our room makes your heart flutter, but the
sentiment doesn't last long. "Fuck, I don't even want to clean anything," Levi mutters.

Your smile falters, and you glance back at Hange. From the sag of their face and their hollow
expression, it looks like the battle aged them ten years. Hange's smile fades, and they pad
over to the bed, then drop to the floor next to Levi. You join them, squatting down on Levi's
other side and kicking your feet out in front of you.

The three of you sit together in silence, the only audible sound being the rain striking the roof
above you. Rain right now would almost be relieving; part of you wants to head up to the
roof anyways and let the rain wash you away.

Minutes pass. You start to wonder if Levi and Hange have actually managed to sleep when
Hange mutters, "he saved me."

Levi takes your hand. His grip is cold; it's oddly comforting.
"Moblit," they croak, voice hoarse. "He... the colossal titan's steam explosion would've killed
me. Killed me with everyone else. And he shoved me into a well. My glasses broke and now
my eye is gone, but I couldn't even feel it," Hange whispers, their voice cracking. "He's gone.
He could've saved himself, and he..."

Hange trails off. Silence follows.

Levi's grip on your hand tightens.

"I- I let them get away," you manage, the guilt that's been clawing through your brain finally
releasing. "I almost had them. And now it feels like... like I failed. I know I didn't, but I
could've had them."

Tears are sparking at your eyes. You tip your head up to the ceiling and start blinking, trying
to ward them away. Levi's grip is painful, but the pain is almost welcome. You got off easy
compared to what happened to everyone else.

Then, Hange utters, "Erwin."

Levi makes a noise that sounds like a combination between a grunt and a sob. You glance at
him and it nearly sobers you up completely when you see tears in his eyes. His teeth sink into
his lip as he blinks once, then twice- an effort to get rid of the tears. You've never seen him
like this before.

That does it for you. You sob, then clap your free hand over your mouth. Levi lets out a low
moan, and he lets go of you so that he can bury his face in his hands. "L- Levi," you barely
make out, your throat closing. You look to Hange and see silent tears streaming down their
face, sliding down to their chin and dropping into their lap.

You drop your head into Levi's shoulder and pull him towards you, failing to stifle the sobs
that are rising in your chest. Levi takes his arms out from in front of him and wraps an arm
around your shoulders, squeezing you hard. Through your tears, you see his other arm seize
Hange's shoulders, pulling them into his other side.

"I need you two," he whispers, his voice sounding close to a sob. "Don't- don't go anywhere."

Hange sniffles, and you see them bury themselves into Levi's side. You reach an arm across
Levi and take Hange's hand; they squeeze tight, eye locking with you only briefly.

Another sob escapes from your throat, and Levi sobs at almost the same time. You squeeze
even tighter into his side as his arm tightens around you. It's like an awkward three person
hug, and you refuse to move. There's nowhere else you'd rather be right now.

"I love you guys," Hange whispers.

Erwin should be here. You'd never done anything remotely physical with that man- not even a
damn handshake- but you'd give so much just to pull him into this group hug with Levi and
Hange. You drop your head from Levi's shoulder to his chest, bumping foreheads lightly with
Hange, and cry. You can't even say anything back; your throat is tight from tears and emotion
has clouded your brain.

That's how Jean finds you three the next morning, curled up at the foot of Hange's bed,
having cried yourselves to sleep. Levi's protective arms didn't move from around you or
Hange the entire time. The three of you fell asleep as a tangled mess of limbs.

When he wakes you up, uttering, "you weren't in your rooms, the door was open-" Levi
throws a pillow at him.

But you smile anyways. You're happy that he cares.

Days pass.

The secret of the basement that Eren kept insisting was so important turned out to be a set of
journals. Between those books, Eren's father detailed why humanity lived inside the walls,
why there were titans, and who the real enemy was.

You're all 'subjects of Ymir'. There's a giant island of people known as Marleyans who keep
sending titans in an attempt to eradicate everyone. Some of them possessed the powers of
titans; Grisha, Eren's father, stole the powers of one titan and escaped, then passed them on to
Eren. Reiner, Bertolt, Annie, and the two others- Pieck and the beast titan- are a few more of
those. Same with Ymir- although she seems like a different case entirely.

Everyone within the walls and a select group outside- subjects of Ymir, Eldians, or whatever
the fuck Grisha called you all- can turn into titans. The Marleyans can't.

It's all unveiled in a giant meeting with the military and Historia. It's painfully uncomfortable,
with the Survey Corps being situated in the middle of the room like you're being observed in
an experiment. Hange gives the summarized versions of the journals and you sit in
anticipation, head reeling.

You'd thought you were done. That Reiner, Bertolt, and the others were it.

There's a whole land of people who want you all dead. For no fault other than your
existence.

Will you and Levi really ever be free of this?

Apparently not.

The culmination of the past two weeks- the last remaining thing left to do before you can let
go of Shiganshina- is a medal ceremony. Medals to honor the Survey Corps that came back
and a memorial for those who never made it.

You hate it.

You hate everything about this. The way the military can applaud you and pat you on the
back, saluting you all for things they'll never have the guts to do. All of their speeches are
bogus and their intentions are less than honorable; they're just happy it's not them.

The only saving grace in this damn ceremony is that Levi hates them all as much as you do.

"I don't want to do this," you grumble.

"Me neither," Levi agrees. "But then it's done."

Shiganshina's done, at least. Not the next battle, though. That's still up and coming. "Can we
go home after this?" you mumble, surprised at how meek your voice sounds. "Please?"

Home obviously refers to Levi's room. He nods. "Yeah," he murmurs. "Sure."

The past few weeks since getting back from Shiganshina have been rough. You and Levi
have settled into your routine again that proved to be incredibly therapeutic following your
torture sessions, but it's not quite the same. It feels like it's a lot less talking and a lot more
silence. There's a little bit more chatter every night, though, so you still have your hopes up.

You're about to say something else when you see Levi's eyes focus on something behind you.
There's some sort of commotion involving your friends, and you groan. That newer scout is
with them- you think his name was Floch. You're not a fan of him.

"They're loud," Levi comments.

"What the hell is he doing?" you mutter, glaring daggers at Floch.

"Ignore him," your partner replies, but his eyes are trained on him too. It almost looks like
he's arguing with Armin, Mikasa, and Eren.

You step closer, trying to listen to what he has to say. Levi doesn't stop you. "It's all of us,"
Floch is saying. "It's what everyone thought reading the report. They wondered why it wasn't
Erwin."

Immediately, you feel your temper flare. It's not like Armin had any control over that
decision: it was a decision trusted to Levi. What a way to make him feel guilty for something
he had no control over. Levi's hand closes around your bicep like he can sense your anger.
"Leave it," he mutters.

You sit back on your heels and exhale, trying to calm yourself down.

"And what do you know about Armin?" Eren challenges, glaring at Floch. "C'mon, tell us."

"I don't know anything," Floch confesses. "I'm not his childhood friend. I'm not his friend at
all." He looks around, eyes skimming over you and landing on Levi. "But I do know why
Armin was picked. Because you two," he says, turning on Mikasa and Eren, "and Captain
Levi, allowed your personal feelings to get the better of you, took the injection for
yourselves, and made an irrational decision."
The rest of whatever else he's saying is drowned out, because the alarm bells in your head are
ringing. You surge toward Floch, but Levi's arm snaps around your waist and he tugs you
back. "Don't," Levi snarls.

Your outburst has startled him, though. The four of them turn to stare at you. "Logan, you
weren't there-" Floch starts.

"Don't you fucking dare," you snap, stopping your struggle against Levi's arms and instead
choosing to stand your ground, "make assumptions about shit you don't understand."

"You weren't there," Floch repeats, and god do you want to smack him. "If you're saying I
don't understand it, than neither do you."

The fucking nerve. "Oh, you little-"

"Logan," Levi snaps, voice low but filled with authority. "Walk it off."

You swallow hard, trying to control yourself. One quick glance proves that there's eyes on
you: some of the military and a handful of the Garrison. You can't cause a scene here, not at a
memorial meant to commemorate the lives of your fallen comrades. Not something meant to
be a special occasion.

Your temper dies, but your passion doesn't. "One day," you threaten, meaning it with every
fiber of your being, "I'm going to beat the shit out of you."

Floch seems genuinely disturbed by your threat. Good; that was the intention. You glare at
him as hard as you can as you stalk away, hands clenched into fists to keep your temper under
control. Fuck him. Fuck that stupid kid and his stupid assumptions, and fuck this stupid
ceremony and these damn military pigs and... and...

Fuck it all. Honestly.

The ceremony goes on. You get medals. You do your best not to look at it too hard; you're
convinced that your glare could make it burst into flames.

Levi holds true to his word, and the two of you head back to his room after.

He doesn't talk about the ceremony. He doesn't talk about your outburst.

He doesn't say anything at all.

But he lays down in his bed, opening his arms to you, and he pulls you into him. He comforts
you in that way that only he can, because he knows exactly what you need and exactly how
to hold you so that your worries can wander away- even if only temporarily.

And when he murmurs, "I get it," you know he does.

It takes a year.
It takes a full year to clear out every single titan in Wall Maria and the surrounding area.
Patrols go out constantly, starting in the north with the least amount of titans and slowly
moving down either side of the wall (both the west and east) with a plan to eventually meet in
the south.

You and Levi are out almost every single day leading patrols. You get promoted to a squad
leader immediately upon returning (when there's only ten surviving Survey Corps, pickings
are slim) which led to more responsibility and more work. You didn't mind; the sooner the
titans could get cleared out, the sooner you and Levi could cross another thing off your list.

New recruits join the Survey Corps in overwhelming numbers. It feels like everyone wants to
be a part of the action now that the main enemy is officially gone. At least, you hope.

Sometimes, it's a squad of you and ten others. Other times, it's just you and Levi. To no one's
surprise, your success rates are highest when you're with Levi. The two of you work
incredibly well together and you always manage to clear more area in less time than you
would with a squad of a dozen newbies.

When you get down to just one forest left in Wall Maria to clear, Hange comes with you. "It's
the last one, the Commander should be there," they had joked. "You guys can't have all the
fun."

"We don't have fun," Levi had said.

"We don't?" you'd teased.

The forest had been cleared quick enough. Only a few titans left over to dispose of, the most
difficult of which had been a twelve meter abnormal. You, Levi, and Hange make quick work
of them all. This forest was a perfect one to leave until the end: trees larger than even the
colossal titan, which made for perfect maneuvering points.

Levi spins through the nape of a five meter titan with shaggy brown hair and lands on the
ground next to you. "Is that the last one?" he asks, eyes scanning the trees behind you.

"Think so," Hange calls, jogging towards you. There's a grin stretched across their face.

"We did it?" you say, face splitting into a smile as the realization of the situation settles in.
"That's it? All the titans in Wall Maria gone?"

"Yeah," Hange agrees. "We did it."

You glance excitedly to Levi. He looks as indifferent as ever, but when his eyes meet yours
and he sees the grin on your face, you can see his lips twitch. "Guess so," Levi says, glancing
back to the steam of the last titan carcass.

"Woo!"

Hange flops down into the grass, legs kicking up into the air before collapsing against the
ground. Smiling, you plop yourself down next to them, rolling back into the grass and staring
up at the trees.
You turn your head to Hange, beaming. Then, both of you look up to Levi.

Levi crosses his arms. "That's just horribly unsanitary."

"Boo!" Hange calls.

"It's grass," you complain, sitting back up and reaching out for Levi's hand. "You've sat in
worse."

Levi stares at you for a moment. Eventually, he sighs and takes your hand. Hange whoops
and grabs onto Levi before he can pull away, and the two of you tug him down to the ground
between you too. He puts up only a little bit of resistance before he gives in and flips onto his
back, groaning.

"I hate you both," Levi says.

"You love us," you tease, grabbing onto his hand.

"Some more than others," Hange jokes from the other side of Levi.

He squeezes your palm. The three of you stare up at the trees in comfortable silence. Without
the worry of titans around, you finally let yourself focus on the other sounds: birds chirping,
wind whistling through the leaves.

It's... calming. You can't remember the last time you used 'calm' as an adjective to describe
being outside Wall Rose.

"We should name it," Hange says suddenly.

"Name what?" you ask.

"The forest."

Levi snorts. "You want to name a clump of trees."

Hange chuckles. "Yeah, I do. It's the last forest! This is a big deal. Besides, I..." they trail off.
"I don't have to be the commander with you guys," they confess, voice a bit softer. "You
know? Everyone else has expectations. With you guys, I'm the same person I've always been.
Just Hange."

The expectations of Hange since taking over as commander have been just as bad- if not
worse- than Armin's. Both of them have been slammed with the weight of Erwin's legacy on
their shoulders.

"So... well, maybe it's dumb, but I thought we could name something after us," Hange
murmurs. "Not our titles. Just us."

To your surprise, Levi speaks up next. "Fine. What do we call it?"

"Something with all of our names," Hange says.

"That's dumb."

You squeeze Levi's palm. "Any ideas?"

They hum thoughtfully. "You remember that coded letter you wrote to Levi?"

"What, back on the farm?" You shrug, glancing at Levi. You'd forgotten that you ever had to
do that. "That was ages ago."

"The first letter of every sentence thing?" Levi asks.

Hange sits up, nodding. "Yeah. The first initials. We could do the ones of our names," they
say excitedly. "Make a word out of that."

"Three consonants," you point out. "Not much from that."

"So we add Erwin."

You look back to Levi. His gaze is fixed straight up, at the spots of the sky visible through the
leaves. "We add Erwin," you agree softly.

"Perfect," Hange says, looking up to the sky. "L, L, H, and now E. Only really one option
from that."

"Hell?" Levi snorts. "Great name."

"Hell Forest," you say, grinning. "I don't know, I think it seems fitting for the four of us."

Hange laughs, flopping back down next to Levi. "Hell Forest," they repeat. "I like it."

Me too, you think as Levi squeezes your palm again. A forest named after the four of you, a
way to help immortalize Erwin, even if it's just between you three. You still think about him,
and you're sure Levi does too.

You squeeze Levi's hand again, and he squeezes back.

Hell Forest.

Strangely fitting.

Hange's office is quiet. Stacks of files piled high on their desk, reports scattered every which
way. They don't mind it being quiet; they fill the silence by muttering to themselves most of
the time anyways.

"Hange."

Hange glances up from their desk. "Levi," they say, lips twitching into a soft smile. "What
can I do for you?"
He stares at them for a minute. They wait, lacing their fingers across their desk. Levi almost
seems nervous, so Hange's betting it has something to do with you. You're the only thing in
the world that could make Levi nervous.

"...where's a decent place to get a ring?" he asks tentatively.

Hange's jaw drops.

The first ever mission outside of Wall Maria in over six years includes the exact same people
you started with: Levi, Hange, and the rest of your squad: Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Jean,
Connie, and Sasha. Hange's anticipated that most of the titans will have been attracted into
Wall Maria; theoretically, there shouldn't be many outside the wall. Sure enough, you only
encounter one. It's got its face dug into the dirt and it looks like it's been slowly trying to drag
itself in the direction of Wall Maria.

"We're close," you hear Eren murmur from behind you.

In the past year, Eren's the only one who you would confidently say has changed. He seems
more... more withdrawn. He still actively participates, but you can't remember the last time
you saw him smile.

The horses move along, and eventually, the ground turns to sand. A wall appears in the
distance; from Grisha's journals, it's the wall that Eldians were thrown off of and turned into
titans.

The idea still baffles you. There's people out there that detest you and want you dead solely
because you exist?

"Hey."

You glance over to Levi. "Yeah?"

"You alright?" he asks, eyes flickering from you to the rest of the group. Everyone's already
moved on around the wall. "You zoned out."

"Yeah," you say, shrugging. "Sorry."

Levi nods and guides his horse around the wall, trailing after the others, and you follow suit.
The wall looms overtop of you, and you bury the hesitance rising in your chest. You urge
your horse after Levi, eyes scanning the horizon line.

Your horse slows; everyone's stopping. "Why're we stopping?" you ask. "Why..."

You trail off.

Below the hill of grass that the horses have trotted up to is a small body of sand, and past
that, blue. Literally: it's blue water, stretching as far as the eye can see. Your jaw drops.
Armin was right. This is an ocean, based off of Armin's description, and it's water that seems
endless.

"Oh my god," you breath, completely stunned.

Your friends start getting off of their horses, heading down to the sandy area. The only person
you want to share this moment with is right next to you on his own horse, so you turn your
head. Levi's not even looking at the ocean: his eyes are locked on you, the corner of his
mouth twitched upwards.

You can't help but smile at him. "Imagine how the stars look from out here," you say
excitedly.

Levi's half smile twitches. "Only one way to find out."

Beaming, you hop down off your horse, and Levi follows suit. Jean, Connie, and Sasha have
already thrown off their boots and romped into the water. Armin seems dumbfounded,
standing on the edge of the water line, and Mikasa's carefully following him in. Hange too is
already rolling up their pant legs and stumbling into the water.

Waves roll up on shore and everyone yells in excitement. "Hyah!" Connie screeches,
launching water at Sasha.

"My eyes!" she cries out, batting water back at him in return.

"Aagh! It's so salty!" Jean shouts, spitting water from his mouth.

"Jean, don't drink it!" you scold, but you can't help laughing. You start pulling your boots off,
eager to step into the water. You glance sideways at Levi, but he's not moving, narrowing his
eyes at the shore. "Not going in?" you ask.

Levi scoffs. "Do you know how unsanitary this is?"

You roll your eyes. "Go figure."

"Is this really all salt water?" Hange cries excitedly, scooping some up with their palms. "Oh,
wait! I think I see something!"

"Don't touch it," Levi snaps immediately. "It could be poisonous."

"Or," you object, "it could be cool."

"Equally likely that it's dangerous."

You roll your eyes again and drop your boots by Levi, rolling up the legs of your pants.
Carefully, you wander to the water as a wave washes up onto shore and hits your feet. "That's
cold," you say with a laugh, glancing back at Levi. He looks stoic, but when you meet his
eyes, his expression caves a bit. Grinning, you turn back to the water, wandering further into
it until the water is up to your calves.
It's so soothing. It's cold, sure, but nothing that doesn't take a moment to warm up to. You
glance sideways at your friends: Eren's pointing somewhere off in the distance while Sasha,
Jean, and Connie are tackling each other into the water.

"This is perfect," you say to yourself, watching the way the sunlight reflects off of the water.

There's a splash behind you, and you turn just in time to see Hange lunging at you. Your
reaction time is perfect, but when you go to move, the water resists your movements and you
can't get out of the way in time. "Woo!" Hange howls, tackling you into the water.

You laugh, and then you and Hange are plunged underwater. The salt stings your eyes and
tastes bizarre on your tongue, and you end up coughing when you come back up for air.

"Logan!" Levi calls from on shore. "Dammit, Hange, you're reckless! Logan! Are you okay?"

"Fine!" you call back, tossing some of your wet hair out of your face.

Hange laughs, pushing back up to their feet. "You should come in and check on her, Levi!"
they taunt. "C'mon, get your feet wet!"

"Absolutely not."

Grinning, you stand back up, and with Hange focused on Levi, you lunge at them. Laughing,
you and Hange go tumbling back into the water, salt water filling up your nose. "Now, we're
even," you joke when you come back up for air.

"Fine, fine," Hange agrees, sitting up in the water. "Even."

You smile, clothes heavy on your form as you stand up. Jean, Connie, and Sasha are engaged
in some sort of wrestling match further down the shore. You swipe more of your wet hair out
of your face, smiling to yourself.

This. This is perfect- this is what you survived Shiganshina for.

Your smile dwindles. If only Erwin could see this now.

"Captain!" you hear Connie call. "You should come in!"

"I'll leave the foolhardiness to you lot," Levi shoots back, taking another step away from
shore.

You grin again, pushing yourself up to your feet and wandering back in Levi's direction.
You're cold and your clothes are hanging off of you heavily, slumping your shoulders, but
you can't even feel it. "So you're saying I can't hug you," you say with a grin, opening your
arms.

He immediately takes another step backwards. "No."

"Aw, Levi, I thought you loved me-"

"I will break up with you," Levi threatens, backing up even further.

You laugh, walking towards him, and your partner scurries back quicker than you've ever
seen him move in his life. "Hug him, hug him, hug him!" you hear your friends chanting
from the water, vigorous splashing accompanying their chants.

Levi's eyeing you warily, like he's wondering how best to evade you, but you drop your arms
to your sides in a sign of surrender. "I won't," you promise.

He pauses, clearly wondering whether to trust you or not.

"I won't!" you insist again, grinning. You step towards him again, and this time, he doesn't
back up. Holding true to your word, you don't hug him; you lean in and kiss him swiftly on
the cheek. "Is that fine?" you ask, grinning.

Levi can't keep up the pissed off expression on his face, and his scowl fades. "Fine," he
grumbles.

You beam; you know he's not as grumpy as he's pretending to be. "Boo!" Connie calls,
smacking the water. "We want carnage!"

"Get out here and I'll show you carnage," your partner threatens.

Your team stays in the sandy area until the sun's hit the waterline. It's even more gorgeous
than you'd expected: the lack of trees and walls and other obstacles allows you to see the full
expanse of the sunset. The sky's a cluster of oranges and pinks and it's absolutely perfect.

Everyone's packed up and dried off (mostly) when Hange calls for everyone to leave. You
linger, wishing you could stay longer, and you're surprised when Levi murmurs into your ear,
"we're staying."

You straighten up, pleased. "We are?" you say excitedly.

Your excitement must be contagious, because Levi's lips twitch. "We'll head back later," he
says, watching the rest of your squad vanish over the hill with their horses. "We can stay for a
bit."

"Thank you," you say happily, turning back out to the sunset. "Isn't this perfect?"

"Yeah," Levi murmurs, eyes lingering on you before turning back out to the sun. "It is."

He takes your hand, and Levi pulls you further away from the water, over to a soft grassy
patch. You sit yourself down on the grass, sighing happily, and Levi sits down next to you.
The sun's reflecting all sorts of beautiful golden tones off of Levi's skin, and once again he
appears to be more gorgeous than you've ever seen him before.

You smile and tuck some of your hair out of the way- the salt water's really done a number to
it. "When do we have to go back?" you ask.

Levi shrugs. "Whenever you want."

"Never?"

"Sure."

You flop onto your back, staring up into the sky. Levi lays down next to you. "Never," you
repeat, keeping your eyes locked on the sky. It's starting to darken. "As in, we never go back
to any sort of war. We just- we stay here. On the sand, by the water. With our teashop.
Watching the sunset and the stars."

Levi's quiet for a moment. You raise a hand up to your neck and fiddle with your moon
charm. "I would," he says eventually. "If you wanted to."

"You'd leave it all," you say, a bit surprised by his answer.

"Yeah."

"You'd leave everything behind. Our friends, our home, this war."

"If you asked me to," Levi confirms.

Despite there still being light in the sky, some of the stars are starting to come out. You count
the few that are there before you turn back to Levi. "Really?" you whisper.

He nods. "Really. But I know you won't."

He's right; you won't. Not when you have friends within the walls, friends that count on you
and friends that you need to protect. But... "If you asked me to," you say hollowly, "I would."

Levi's quiet for a moment. Then, "I could never ask you to."

"I know."

Silence falls between the two of you, and you sigh happily as your gaze shifts from the stars
to the setting sun. You can't believe Shiganshina was a year ago; it truly does feel like so
much less time. The two of you have kept yourselves busy with decimating the titans, with a
mission that kept you both occupied. That mission's done, and another lies on the horizon.

So many missions. So many things left to do, but you know you're doing it all with the person
you love most in the world by your side.

"We should get married."

The words catch you so off guard that you don't comprehend them right away. You stare up at
the sky for a minute, unmoving, before you turn your head to face Levi. "Seriously?" you say
in disbelief.

He tips his head to look at you. "Is that so unbelievable?"

"No, I just..." you shrug. "I didn't think you cared to."
"Well, I do."

Levi seems so sincere in his words that you think you're going to melt into the ground. "Oh,"
you force out, feeling your cheeks heat up. "I see."

He raises an eyebrow at you. "You don't want to?"

"I do," you object immediately.

"Okay," Levi says. "Then let's do it."

Your lips twitch. "Well, if we're going to do it, then we've got to do it properly."

The corners of his mouth turn upwards, which only makes your smile grow. "You want the
full thing?" Levi says, but he doesn't sound particularly mad about it. "You want people
there?"

"Yes," you say, grinning. "It'd be fun. We could do the whole marriage part on our own, but a
party would be fun. We... we don't have many people left, you know. I think it'd be a good
experience for everyone."

Levi rolls his eyes. "Stop it," he scolds. "Thinking of other people."

"Sorry." You roll your eyes. "Sort of."

"Well..." he trails off, but his gaze is still on you. "What do you want?" he emphasizes.

His stare is so intense that you turn your head back to look up at the stars again. Your cheeks-
no, not just your cheeks, your entire body feels happily warm. Levi wants to get married.
Holy shit. "I want to do it right," you say, smiling up at the clear sky. Your hand rises to the
moon pendant on your neck. "I want... well, maybe just the two of us and the officiator for
the actual marriage part."

"Private," Levi remarks.

You nod, humming in agreement. "But we do a celebration afterwards," you add. "Just a
small party, we don't like many people."

Levi snorts. "We don't," he agrees.

"And we should do it here, by the water," you say excitedly, looking back to Levi. He's
staring at you with so much fondness in his eyes that you have to look away again. "I know
you don't like the ocean, but we don't have to go in. And it's beautiful here." You think, then
add, "I want a ring."

"You want a ring?"

"Yeah. I don't care what kind, I just... I want a ring," you confess. "It doesn't have to be
expensive or big, I just want something simple and meaningful-"
"Is this fine?"

You turn your head, and Levi's holding out a ring.

All available air seems to leave your body. Levi's sitting up, so you do too, hands pushing at
the grass to force yourself up to a seated position. It's a simple silver band: no gemstones, no
gold, nothing remotely eye catching, yet it's absolutely perfect. It's simple and practical- very
much like Levi. Your mouth opens, then closes; you're completely blown away. He had this
prepared?

Levi stares at your dumbfounded expression for a moment before he sighs softly and shifts-
holy shit, he's moved to one knee. "L," he says softly.

"Hi," you choke out, tears sparking your eyes.

He snorts in suppressed laughter. "You're an idiot," he starts, and for some reason that only
makes you laugh. You clap a hand over your mouth. "And a psychopath. And painfully
stubborn when you want to be."

You can't even summon words. Your eyes are glittering.

"But you're..." Levi sighs, and he diverts his eyes. "...I've been in love with you for as long as
I can remember, which is longer than you can remember," he adds, and you laugh again. "You
know full well that at this point, there's... there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And there's so
much I could say about you, but I'll never have enough time." He pauses. "That, and I'm
pretty sure Hange's got the squad watching from over the hill."

"No," you say in disbelief, and your eyes immediately fly to the hill behind you. "They
stayed? They're here?"

"It's Hange's fault. They wanted to know why we were staying longer."

"...Makes sense."

You lock eyes with Levi again, and a grin splits across your face, hidden by your hands.
Levi's lips are twitching dangerously close to a smile as he murmurs, "if you'll have me-"

"Yes," you blurt out, and you see Levi's shoulders drop. "Yes, you idiot, I'll marry you."

He smiles, and it's one of the most genuine smiles that you've ever seen. Relieved, Levi leans
forwards, and he tips the ring towards you so that you can see the inside. There's words
engraved along the inner band, three words that you have to narrow your eyes to read.

See you soon.

That had been your version of goodbye. Now, it's your version of I love you.

Blinking back tears, you shakily hold out your hand, and Levi carefully slides the ring on
your finger. It's so simple and so perfect; you feel like it fits your relationship with Levi so
damn well. Levi cups your fingers and gently kisses your hand; you do your best to control
the bells ringing between your ears. His eyes close and he holds himself there for a moment
before he pulls away.

"It's perfect," you whisper, because you feel like Levi needs to hear it. "The ring. I love it. I
love you," you add. "So much. Even with... even with so many more battles coming up, I
want to do this. So badly."

Levi squeezes your hand. "We'll fight fate," he says, "and we'll win."

Your smile stretches from ear to ear. "We will," you agree. "Won't we?"

Smiling, Levi takes your face in one of his hands, and he pulls you towards him and kisses
you. Your hand rises to his jaw, ring brushing against his skin as you hold him to you, kissing
him with all the energy you can muster. Your head is spinning; you can't remember ever
smiling this much in your life.

You're going to get married. You and Levi; you're going to get married.

Levi pulls away first, but he leaves his forehead tipped against yours. You're grateful; you're
still reeling. Eventually, he sighs, and he calls out, "oh, for fuck's sake."

"Took you long enough!" you hear Hange yell, and you break away from Levi to glance
towards the sound of Hange's voice. "She said yes?"

"Obviously!" you shout, looking for the source of the voice.

Hange's head pops up from behind one of the hills. They're grinning from ear to ear. Your
smile only widens when the heads of Jean, Connie, and Sasha pop up next to them- and yes,
there's Armin, and Eren and Mikasa. They all stayed?

Levi looks like he wants to be mad, but instead, he sighs. "We work with idiots," he says
instead, turning to you.

"We do," you agree with a stupid grin on your face.

Hange starts running down the hill, grinning madly. "I call officiating!" they shout, sprinting
towards the both of you. "I'll help organize! This is going to be the best wedding ever!"

"Hange-"

They lunge forwards, and both you and Levi are tackled. To your surprise, Levi doesn't even
squirm at all: he accepts his fate by your side as you laugh and squeeze your arms tight
around Hange, face hurting from smiling so much.

There's a chorus of "congratulations!" from the hill where the rest of your friends are.

"I love you guys!" you call with a laugh, waving to them from underneath Hange.

"You're all fucking idiots," Levi says.

 But even with the clear despondence in his tone, Levi reaches for your hand underneath the
withering mass that is Hange on top of you, and he squeezes tight. You squeeze in return,
feeling the cool metal of the ring press up against his hand.

Fate be damned. You and Levi are going to get married.

You smile and squeeze your partner's hand one more time. As if this day couldn't get any
more perfect.

Chapter End Notes

And that's a wrap on season three folks. Still can't believe I've managed to make it this
far lmao.

For my lovely, innocent anime watchers: worry not, I'll let you know when you hit all
you can read before spoiling the story for yourself. There's eight chapters of season four:
the first four will be following the events of the anime (season four part one) and the last
four will be following the manga. If that ever changes, I'll be sure to let you know.

Don't worry- next chapter is super light / fluffy and it acts as the transition between
seasons. I hope you'll like it.

I love you guys. So damn much. <3

 4-1
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"This was an awful idea."

"Aw, c'mon, Logan. It's just wedding jitters-"

"Hange," you say dryly, grabbing the ends of your hair as you stare at yourself in a mirror,
"this was an awful idea. Why did I think this would be fun? This is ridiculous. Let's call this
off."

"Absolutely not."

You grimace, burying your face in your hands.

Wedding prep hadn't exactly been needed by either you or Levi. You mentioned to Hange that
you and Levi would get married in private but you'd be open to a small celebration
afterwards, and Hange had jumped on the opportunity to organize. The guest list is
pathetically tiny (eleven people, including Levi and yourself) but that's exactly as you wanted
it. You know that Levi prefers less people, so this was fine by him.

You'd joked about the idea of a big wedding at the capital (you're sure Historia would've
offered to host) and Levi had looked at you like you'd smacked him across the face.

Location hadn't been an issue. You'd mentioned to Hange that you wanted to get married at
the sandy area by the ocean- apparently known as a beach- and with the expansion of the
military to the corners of the island (apparently you live on an island. Who knew?), getting
supplies out that far had been no problem. In fact, within the month, Garrison had set up
camp by the beach area with a myriad of tents and patrols, keeping an eye out for any
incoming Marley boats.

The expansion project was moving swiftly. With no titans left to protect the walls from, the
Garrison started creating military bases closer to the water. It made sense, and it also made it
easy for Hange to snag a tent to host the party in for the evening.

It's literally nothing fancy. One tent that Hange's strung up with lights and flowers. A week's
worth of rations spent on food. One big table and chairs.

A dress for you.

The dress was nothing spectacular. You quite literally just took one of the first white dresses
you could find at the store Hange dragged you into: soft material, down to your ankles, some
sort of lace across your shoulders and spilling down your arms. In terms of how wedding
dresses went around here, it was gorgeous; most of what you saw people selling were plain
and, frankly, a little boring.
This feels... nice. It's flattering on you and loose enough so that you can jump into action if
you need to. Not that you should have to, but it's become a requirement of your clothing.

And now you're starting to get nervous.

"I can't do this, Hange," you say, shaking your head at the mirror as Hange fusses with your
hair. "Hange, this is- this is too much."

"Listen here, Logan."

"I'm listening!"

"No, listen." Hange drops down in front of your face, standing between you and the mirror.
They seize your hands, where your wedding ring is snug over your ring finger. "Do you love
him? That angry midget?"

Your lips twitch. "Yes. Obviously."

"And you want to be stuck to him for the rest of your life."

"Yes, of course I do."

"Then what's there to be nervous about?"

You swallow hard, squeezing Hange's hands. You avoid their eyes, hoping they can't see the
insecurity that's building there. "...What if he doesn't want to?" you whisper, voice weak.
"What if- what if he decides that he doesn't want to, or-"

"Logan," Hange chides, shushing you. "For a smart woman, you're super dumb sometimes."

You snort. "Oh, please."

"No, I'm serious!" Hange's smile widens. "Girl. This man stresses out about you more than
I've ever seen him stress about literally anything in his entire life. You make him nervous, and
I think you're the only thing in the world that can do that to him."

Your lips twitch but fall just as quickly. "But he's so hard to read sometimes, Hange," you say
desperately, hating the heat that burns behind your eyes. "I- I like to think I know what he's
thinking, but it's so hard. And he doesn't tell me, but-"

Hange's hand leaves yours so that they can press their finger up against your lips. "Hush,"
they say sternly. "Got it?"

You roll your eyes. Then, you nod.

"Good." Hange grabs onto your hand again. "Who went absolutely nuts when you'd been
kidnapped, to the point of all of his squad thinking he'd gone clinically insane?"

The scars on your back tingle. "Levi," you admit softly.

They nod encouragingly. "Who argued with Erwin for god knows how long to send ODM
gear with you when none of the other cadets were allowed any?"

"...Levi."

"And who was mixing you tea blends that were supposed to help strengthen memory?"

"Levi," you answer, "but Hange-"

"And," Hange says, cutting you off, "who came into my office, as timid as a kid doing show
in tell in front of a crowd, asking if I knew any good places to get rings and have them
engraved, because he was terrified of getting you something you'd hate or messing it up and
he desperately wanted reassurance that he was doing something right?"

Your mouth opens, then closes. You didn't know that Levi came to Hange for advice about
the rings. "Did he tell you that?" you manage.

Hange rolls their eyes (well, eye). "It was obvious, darling. That man is so damn head over
heels that he literally can't go seconds without thinking about you. You've got him wrapped
around your pinky finger, babe. Levi's crazy in love with you and you'd have to be blind not
to see it."

The pep talk certainly helps. You pinch your lips together, eyes burning. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Hange agrees, squeezing your hands. "I promise."

You squeeze your eyes shut, then exhale shakily. "Okay," you say, channeling Hange's words
to heart. Levi loves you; you know that. You're being silly. "Okay," you repeat. "Thanks,
Hange. I needed that."

"No problem, darling," the commander says brightly, patting your cheeks. They stand up,
moving out of the way of the mirror, and you take a look at yourself again. "You sure about
the back of your dress?" Hange calls as they wander away, looking for something for your
hair. "I can always cover it."

Ah- your dress is backless. Scarred wings of freedom on full display.

You rotate in front of the mirror, looking over your shoulder to see your back. It's been a
year; the scars have faded, but they're obviously not gone. They'll probably never leave. The
only people in the world that have seen these are Levi and Hange- and Erwin, you suppose.
You've got no reason to be ashamed of them. There's nothing you should feel ashamed of on
your wedding day: not yourself, not your scars. Nothing.

"Nah," you reply, smiling at your reflection. "I like them."

You see Hange smile softly. "Me too, Logan. Me too." They pad back towards you, reaching
up to your head to adjust your hair. "Pass me your ring," Hange instructs, and you slide it off
of your finger to hand over. "Don't worry, you'll get it back soon. We just want to be super
official."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. I appreciate it."

"And worry not," they add, grinning. "I bet Levi's an even bigger mess than you are."

You snort. "Yeah, right."

"This is the stupidest fucking idea humanity's ever had."

Mike hums in reply. "I doubt it. You should see the kind of things they're calling music
nowadays."

Levi groans, glaring at himself in the mirror for another minute before he turns away. "I hate
suits," he says, and Mike raises an eyebrow like he hasn't been patiently listening to Levi for
the last fifteen minutes. "They're so fucking stuffy. All the military pigs wear them all the
time and they're fucking useless. I'm not useless."

"Debatable," Mike remarks.

He ignores him. "Ceremonies?" Levi snaps, glaring up at the roof of his tent. "Who the fuck
thought that was a good idea? We see enough of those with those military idiots. And white
shit- that crap gets stained so damn easily. You know how stupid that is? Stains take forever
to get out."

"Planning on killing a few people tonight, Levi?"

It's certainly up in the air. "Marriage," Levi says angrily, hoping his voice won't crack.
"Humanity's stupidest idea. Binding one person to another for the rest of their miserable
lives. As if life isn't painful enough, now you've got to be stuck to another person while
you're going through it."

Levi hears his friend sigh. "Is that how you feel about this, Levi?"

"Of course not," he retorts. "But-"

"You think that's how she feels."

He doesn't reply for a moment. Then, he says, "you sound too much like Erwin sometimes."

Mike chuckles. "I knew him longer than you did," he reminds him, smiling softly. "That man
could see through anyone."

Levi swallows hard. He knows. He knows all too well.

"Which is why, if he was here," Mike continues carefully, adjusting the sleeves of his suit
coat, "he'd tell you that you're being stupid."

He wants to protest, but he knows he can't.

The injured man clears his throat before he continues. "If I know anything about that
woman," he says, voice firm, "it's that she does nothing that she doesn't want to do. She
wouldn't be by your side if she didn't want to be, Levi."

"She went through training," Levi quips. "She didn't want to do that."

"Yes, she did. Because it meant she'd be with you."

That piece of evidence backfired astronomically. Levi grits his teeth, lacing his fingers
together. "If she does this," he says lowly, eyes focused on the floor of the tent, "she's tied to
me. She shouldn't have to be tied to anybody. She-"

"When has picking out what you think Logan wants instead of asking her what she actually
wants ever done for you?"

Levi's mouth opens, then closes.

Mike raises an eyebrow at him.

"You're even more annoying that Erwin," he says eventually.

"I'll take it as a compliment."

And, like he knows Erwin always was, Levi knows Mike is right. He's tried to do things for
you before: get you to join the military police, stay out of missions, stay behind while he
pursued your father. You only do what you want to do, which has strangely been starting to
blend with what he wants to do. Funny how that happens.

You're the strongest person he knows. If you didn't want to do this, you wouldn't do this.
You're okay being tied to him.

Mike's voice echoes through the tent. "Feel better now?"

"No," Levi quips immediately. "Pass me the cleaning bin."

"Levi. You've cleaned the tent three times already-"

"Pass. The. Bin."

The sun's going down, painting the sky in brilliant shades of pink and orange. You'll never
get tired of watching the sunset, the way the glowing sun just seems to sink into the horizon
line. You can see its reflection on the water from here and the way the light reflecting off the
water highlights the few trees around you.

You fiddle anxiously with the sleeves of your dress. Hange's gone on already, waiting at the
small venue spot that they'd set up. They said you're not allowed to see until you get down
there and that Mike would come get you when it was time, but you're still anxious.
You're going to get married. To Levi.

Years ago, back when you were training, you never would've imagined this happening. Your
crush on Levi had been exactly that: just a crush. You'd thought it was the same type that the
other girls had giggled about when they pointed out which instructors were cute and which
ones weren't. Mina used to talk about Instructor Blaine with stars in her eyes.

Mina. You miss her.

You miss them all, honestly. Hannah, Franz, Ruth, Marco, Uri and Rani- Ymir. All of Levi's
old squad, even if you only met them once or twice. So many people that have died and
couldn't make it here.

You smile wryly to yourself. "Mina would like this," you muse to the setting sun. "Marrying
one of the instructors."

"Who's Mina?"

You turn your head. Mike is standing behind you, leaning on his crutches. "Old friend," you
say, giving him a once over. "You look great."

"Thank you," he replies. "You look fantastic."

"You think so?" you say, smile growing.

Mike nods, smiling in return. "Your back," he notes, eyes flickering to the open back of your
dress. "Are those the scars that you mentioned?"

"Yeah. Too much?"

"Not at all. You wear them well." He glances down the sprawling hill in front of you that
leads to the beach. "Ready?"

You exhale slowly. "I think so. I-" Your voice drops. "I've been a wreck all day," you admit.

Mike hobbles over next to you, and you fall into step with him, shoes heavy in the grass.
"You can't have been any worse than Levi," he says, and you instantly feel a bit better. At
least you weren't the only one freaking out. "I've never seen him that stressed out."

"Did he stress clean?" you ask.

"Four times," Mike confirms.

You hum knowingly. "Well, at least you had a clean tent."

"Too clean," he objects as the two of you get to the sand. "I moved a vase and he looked like
he wanted to tear his hair out when one of the flowers slipped out of place."

You laugh. "Aw."

Mike guides you across the beach. You hook an arm with his, keeping pace with him so that
he doesn't feel the need to rush. "Just around the bend," he instructs, and you follow him on
shaky legs.

The two of you navigate around a corner on the beach, and your jaw slips open.

Petals. Hange's made a trail of flower petals, lined with lanterns that'll guide you towards
where Hange and Levi are standing. Levi, as usual, is the first thing you focus on: his suit is
crisp, his hair looks like it's been combed, and he's evidently nervous. You can tell by the way
he's lacing his fingers and his eyes are darting from side to side.

His eyes land on you, and Levi's mouth falls open.

Hange stands behind him, beaming proudly, dressed in a nice suit with their hair brushed
back into its usual ponytail. They've somehow gotten themselves a small stand that they're
perched behind. You turn up to Mike, smiling. "This is perfect."

Mike smiles. "Let's go, then."

Carefully, you and Mike walk down the path that Hange set out, flower petals beneath your
shoes. You can't take your eyes off Levi, who still looks like someone ran him over with a
horse. Your cheeks are hot and your face is hurting from how hard you're smiling, but you
still can't look away.

When you're finally next to him, you can see it. Those flecks of gold in his beautiful silver
eyes.

"I think he's broken," Hange says gleefully.

Levi finally collects himself. His jaw snaps shut and he diverts his eyes, choosing to glare at
Hange, then Mike, then at the ground. "I'm fine," he grumbles, and you smile even harder- if
that's physically possible. "Let's get this over with."

Hange pouts. "Aw, Levi! You don't want to tell her how amazing she looks?"

"She knows she looks beautiful," Levi shoots back. "She doesn't need me to say it."

Every part of your body feels warm, from your cheeks to the tips of your toes. "Thank you,"
you murmur in response, grinning.

Levi finally looks at you, and he extends his hand out in front of him. Happily, you reach out
and link your pinky finger with his. His lips twitch, and for once, Levi doesn't try to squash
the smile on his face. He reaches out with his other hand and you link fingers with that hand
as well, hands dangling loosely between the two of you.

The light from the setting sun on Levi's face makes him look ethereal. He's smiling softly, but
it's just for you. You beam in return, still feeling giddy.

"You going to start anytime, Hange?" Mike asks patiently from behind you.
"I'm soaking this in first," Hange says happily, slumping against the stand that they brought.
"I've been rooting for you guys ever since I first saw you- I'm going to let this sink in."

"Hange," Levi snaps, glaring at them.

"Fine, fine." They straighten up, pulling out a pad of paper that you're assuming has some
sort of speech written on it. "Dearly beloved," Hange recites, "we are gathered today to...
blah, blah, blah. We're here to finally get these two married, which has been long overdue."

"Not really," you say, frowning. "It felt natural."

"The amount of time I spent watching Levi pine for you makes it feel so much longer."

Levi groans. "Four Eyes, I'm going to kill you if you don't hurry this shit up."

"Ah, but then who would officiate this?" Hange grins. "Don't worry, I'll skip most of the
speech. It's boring and painful anyways. You two are here to get married! Alright, vow time."

"Vows?" you say. "Like, speeches?"

They nod vigorously. "Yeah! Like how much you love him."

You glance sideways to look at Levi. You know he's not a very vocal person, especially when
it comes to admitting feelings- especially not in front of others. You know that you can wait
until later, and Levi would probably prefer it if you did.

"Lots," you say.

Levi nods, and judging by the way he's squeezing your fingers, he's relieved. "Yeah. That."

"Boo! You two are boring!"

"Hange," Mike chides.

Hange sighs. "Fine, fine. Mike, pass the rings."

The man next to you pulls two matching silver rings out of his pocket. It had surprised you
that Levi had gotten one for himself as well, with the same engraving- you just hadn't figured
he would want any sort of jewelry. Mike hands them over; you and Levi unlink hands so that
you can each take one.

"Levi," Hange says, grinning, "do you take-"

"I do," he interrupts.

"Oh, come on! You have to let me finish!" They glare at your soon-to-be-husband and he
rolls his eyes. "In sickness and in health," Hange continues, "happiness and sadness, killing
titans and doing stupid shenanigans and everything in between?"

"I don't think that's the speech," Mike mutters.

Levi's lips twitch. "I do."

He holds his left hand out to you, and you reach up to slide his ring on. His hands are
strangely still; you feel like you're shaking like a leaf.

"And Logan," Hange says, "same shit?"

"Same shit," you agree. "I do."

Levi takes your hand and slides your ring onto your finger, nestling it into its home. You feel
the engraved words rub against your skin and you smile. See you soon.

"Then with Mike here acting as witness, I now pronounce you man and wife!" the
commander says eagerly. "You can kiss the bride!"

Carefully, Levi reaches out and brings your face into his hands. He's smiling as he pulls you
in and he's still smiling against your lips as he kisses you, soft and gentle. You smile with
him, hands rising to his face, his soft hair brushing at your fingers.

Hange whoops from beside you, and you hear Mike clap his hands together. To your surprise,
Levi lingers for a moment before he pulls back, still smiling.

"There!" Hange says. "Quick and painless."

You don't look away- you physically can't. Levi's gaze is so soft and so welcoming that you
nearly melt in his hands. Instead, you resign yourself to counting the small specs of gold in
his eyes. He's absolutely mesmerizing.

God, you're so in love with him.

And judging by the fond expression on Levi's face and the way his thumb is brushing gently
across your cheek, he feels the same.

Arms loop around your shoulders and his, and Hange's face pops between you both. "C'mon,
you dorks," they say gleefully, squeezing your shoulders. "Let's go party!"

You laugh. "Okay."

Hange lets go of you and skips up the beach, Mike hobbling after them. Levi waits until
they've got a bit of a head start before he takes your hand, squeezing. "We're married," he
says, almost as if he can't believe it himself.

You beam. "We're married," you repeat.

There's a pause as you both digest what just happened. Your ring feels warm on your finger.

A breeze ruffles across the beach, blowing Levi's hair out of his face. He looks heavenly.
"Mike mentioned you were stress cleaning," you joke lightly.

"Hange said you looked like you were going to puke," Levi remarks.
You laugh, turning away to look at the sun briefly before you turn back to him. "I was
nervous," you admit. "Nervous that you wouldn't want to do this. That you'd regret it."

The relief is palpable on Levi's face. "And I thought the same of you," he confesses.

There's a pause.

"We're pretty stupid sometimes," you say with a weak laugh.

Levi snorts. "Speak for yourself."

"Okay, fine. You're pretty stupid sometimes."

"Excuse me?" His eyebrows rise. "What was that?"

"You're stupid sometimes," you repeat, squeezing his palm. "Levi, I'm pretty sure that I've
been in love with you from the moment I saw you in the hospital room. And for me, that's all
of my life. I've known and loved you for as long as I can remember and that's not going to
stop anytime soon."

His expression softens. For a moment, Levi just stares at you. Then, he finally says, "you are
and will always be the strongest person I know. And no matter what happens, I'll always be in
love with you."

You pinch your lips together. Heat is pushing at your eyes. "Well, I guess that makes two of
us," you manage.

Levi smiles. He reaches out with his other hand to hold the back of your head, and he pulls
you in, kissing you softly on the forehead. "We don't have to go to whatever this is," he says
tentatively. "We can just go back to my tent."

You smile, eyes fluttering shut. "Let's go for a bit," you say. "The party's for us, after all."

"Alright," he agrees. He glances up. "Stars."

You tip your head up, smiling to yourself. The sun's not quite gone yet, but the stars are
already coming out and they're plentiful. From the looks of it, it's going to be a clear night.
"Lots," you say, grinning.

"Lots," Levi murmurs in return.

Hand in hand, you and Levi trek through the sand in the direction that Hange ran off in.
Levi's extremely conscientious of your movements, pausing when you need to stop and adjust
your shoes, helping you lift up the bottom of your dress so that you don't catch it on anything
when you step up into the grass.

Hange's had three tents set up, both well away from where the Garrison soldiers are posted.
One had been where you'd gotten ready, the other had been where Levi was getting ready.
The third was set up with the food and tables for your celebration. Judging by the light you
can see protruding from underneath the tent and the chatter that's audible while you'll still
decently far away, they're already in full swing.

Levi pulls aside the tent flap for you and you step inside to cheers.

"There they are!" Connie hoots. "Married!"

"Congratulations," Armin says happily, waving at you.

You can't help your grin when Mikasa comes up to you and hugs you, followed by the rest of
your friends. Your celebration is quite small: Hange and Mike spearheaded the organization,
and then it's literally just Levi's squad (Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, and Sasha) plus
Historia, who was able to sneak away from her royal duties.

The tent is big but it's not full by any means. There's one large table where Hange already has
food set out (Sasha has to be pulled back) and the top of the tent is adorned with lights and
flowers.

It's fun. So fun. You're happy you did this.

Levi's holding your hand under the table, rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his
thumb, and he doesn't look particularly grumpy. So hopefully he doesn't mind either.

Eventually, Hange brings out a cake. It's round and covered in white icing, and you snort in
laughter when you see what's drawn on the top: L + L, surrounded by a heart. It looks like
something a teenager would make and you're wondering if any of your squad played a part in
picking the cake.

It's a luxury though, and everyone is eager to dive in. Hange puts a giant bowl of fruit in the
center of the room for afterwards (plenty to go around) and everyone digs into the cake.

"Never had this before," you say, shoveling more of the delicacy into your mouth.

Levi tips his head at you. "We did once," he says, stabbing into the food with his fork. "Stole
it. Crumbled away, but it was good."

"This is heavenly!" Sasha moans, eyes watering as she starts stealing from Connie's plate.
"So good!"

"Oi!" Connie yells. "You ate your piece! Leave mine alone!"

"But I want more!"

"Grab some fruit," Eren suggests, seizing something from the bowl and tossing it to Sasha.

Unfortunately, Eren's got a bit more of an arm than he'd anticipated, and Sasha was nowhere
near ready to react to that. The fruit smacks Sasha in the side of the head. "Hey!" she cries
out, reaching for the fallen fruit. "Ow!"

"Sorry!" he protests. "You were supposed to catch it!"

"Well, give me time to try!"

"Fine."

Eren grabs another piece of fruit from the bowl and lobs it at her. Sasha snags it out of midair
easily. "There!" she says triumphantly. "I got it!"

She pumps her fist in celebration, and you watch the consequence of the celebration unfold.
Sasha brings her elbow down right on top of the first fruit, the one that had smacked her in
the face, and the fruit explodes. The contents spray everywhere.

Thankfully, you and Levi are far enough away from Sasha around the table that you're not in
immediate danger. The problem lies in the person next to Sasha: Historia, who's now soaked
with fruit juice.

There's a painful pause.

Sasha says, "I'm so, so sorry-"

Historia takes a fruit from the bowl. A smile grows on her face as she stands up in her chair,
fruit running down her front, and she breaks the fruit down on the top of Sasha's head. Sticky
juice spreads through Sasha's hair and drips down her face as the table gasps.

"Oh, shit," Hange says in awe from next to you.

"Sorry," Historia says sweetly.

"Food fight?" Connie asks, eyes glittering as he glances around the table.

Levi groans next to you. "You can't be fucking serious-"

Jean wastes no time lunging for the bowl, but Eren's already there, grabbing some ammo.
Mikasa's arm snaps out in front of Eren's face to catch the fruit that Connie's launched at him,
then hurls it back at him with so much force that Connie goes tumbling backwards off his
chair. You can't help but laugh; you'll always adore their rowdiness.

The table nearly tips over as Sasha lunges across, and Levi grabs your wrist, pulling you back
just as a fruit whizzes over your head. He tugs you out of your chair and away from the chaos
as Hange jumps into the fray, nearly capsizing the table.

"Fucking hell," Levi curses, pulling you backwards even further.

You laugh. "It's funny, though."

The two of you watch Jean seize Armin in a headlock. "It's... not bad," he concludes, which is
a win in your books. "We've got other things to do, though."

"Like what?" you ask, squeeze his hand.

Levi looks to you, and the fire in his eyes gives you goosebumps. "I've been wanting to tear
that dress off of you ever since I saw you in it," he murmurs, and something burns deep in
your core. "It's fucking unfair."

"Yeah?" you say breathlessly. "What about you in that suit?"

"Doesn't hold a candle to you," he objects immediately, and his eyes trail down your body.
God, you want to melt. "I-"

"Oi! Get a room!"

The two of you look back to the table. Somehow, it's still standing, but the bowl's been
knocked over and there's no fruit left intact. Mikasa looks like she's the only one unscathed-
although Mike's only got a smear of fruit juice across his forehead that you suspect was
Hange.

You seize Levi's wrist and shoot Hange a smile. "Fine," you say. "We will."

You drag Levi with you out of the tent to a chorus of "ew!" coming from your squad,
overshadowed only slightly by Hange whooping. Levi stumbles after you, shoving the tent
flap closed behind you, and the two of you pause once you're outside.

"Your tent," you ask, glancing at Levi, "or mine?"

"Mine," Levi says, and he pulls you into him.

"Levi, what- shit!"

He pulls you into his chest and wraps one arm under your knees, lifting you up. He does it so
easily that you squeal, arms flying to his neck to give you something to hold on to. He walks
with you in his arms, like you're no more than a sac of flour, and you curl your knees closer
into your chest.

Levi's grip on you tightens. "I've got you."

"I know, I know," you say, voice slightly panicked, "but still, Levi, you're carrying me."

"And? I've done it before."

"Yeah, with ODM gear. This is different."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is!"

"I'm not going to drop you," Levi scolds. "You know that."

"Still, I have working legs."

"I don't care. You're my wife, I've got no problem carrying you."
Wife.

You smile stupidly, looking up to Levi- your husband. "Wife," you repeat. "We're married."

Levi's lips twitch, and he pauses. You're at the front of his tent. "We are," he agrees, carefully
lowering you down to the ground. "Somehow."

"Somehow," you echo, smiling.

He pulls aside the tent flap and you wander inside, grinning wildly once you see the inside.
It's set up with a giant bed of pillows and blankets, flower petals of some sort scattered by
your feet. There's two small tables near the makeshift bed, both topped with candles. One of
the small tables has a mirror with it- it's probably the vanity Levi used to get ready earlier.

You look back to Levi. "You set this up?"

Levi's mouth opens, then closes. For a moment, he almost looks embarrassed.

"I love it," you assure him. "It's perfect."

His shoulders relax. Smiling to yourself, you reach down and start working your shoes off,
flexing your toes once they're free. Feet bare, you reach up to your hair and start fiddling with
the pins that Hange used. They'd been wonderful for keeping your hair in place for today, but
now, you doubt you'll need them.

You glance back at the bed. Levi's already sitting on the edge, jacket and tie pulled off. "For
fuck's sake," he mumbles, eyes hooded. "Come here."

Grinning, you move towards Levi, reaching for his face. Levi collects you into his lap as you
tip his jaw up to kiss him, nose bumping against his. His hands grab onto your ass through
the fabric of your dress, pulling you tighter into him until your crotch is grinding against his.

You can feel him; he's already hard. You smile into your kisses, tongue flitting out to meet
his. You roll your hips into his and Levi's teeth sink down into your lip, hands tight on your
rear.

"Fuck," he hisses against your mouth as you roll your hips again, moving so that you can kiss
his neck. "Fuck, you're so god damn perfect."

Heat pulses in your stomach. "Says you," you murmur against his neck, his pulse jumping
beneath your mouth.

Levi reaches for the sleeves of your dress, trying to pull them down. You reach down to his
cock, palming him through his pants, and he immediately stops, a soft moan tearing itself
from his chest. The sound sends chills racing up and down your arms. You drop your other
hand down, fumbling with the button on his pants while you kiss his neck.

You pull yourself away just so that can drop your knees down to the ground, seizing one of
the many pillows that Levi's got thrown around to cushion your knees. You shift, getting into
a better position.
"L," Levi says, his voice strained, "you don't have to-"

"Levi," you interrupt, tugging his pants off of his hips, "shut up."

He quiets immediately, but as soon as you've freed his cock from his underwear, some sort of
strangled whine leaves his mouth. You don't torture him; you immediately shift closer
between his legs and kiss the head of his cock.

Levi's hands immediately bury themselves in your hair, tangling into your messy hairdo, but
you don't mind. You wrap a hand around the base of his cock and stroke him as you slowly
kiss around the head, occasionally dropping your tongue to lick up the shaft.

He swears under his breath, and you use your other hand to nudge his thighs wider. You look
up at him through your eyelashes: his jaw is tight, there's a thin layer of sweat glistening
across his forehead already. His eyes are glued to you. He's not looking away, not even for a
second; you're not sure if he's able to. There's something about those blown out silver eyes
that makes your stomach curl.

"L," Levi whispers, voice shaking, "please."

You oblige, taking him deeper into your mouth, and Levi's next groan is filthy and obscene.
His hips buck up into your mouth involuntarily and his dick touches the back of your throat.
It's nothing you can't handle and you take it in stride, which only seems to make Levi's
tremors worse. He's shaking beneath you, fingertips clawing at your hair and curses flying
from his tongue.

You suck hard and Levi whines; it's music to your ears. "L," he forces out, voice hoarse,
"fuck- I'm close, fuck-"

You hum around his cock, fingers curling around his base. You pull back just so you can lick
his shaft from base to tip before you dive straight back down, burying him in your throat.

The reaction is immediate. "Fuck," Levi chokes out, fingernails digging into your scalp as he
thrusts his hips up into your mouth. He hits a deep point in your throat and you nearly gag,
eyes rolling into the back of your head. "Fuck," he whines again, moaning.

He twitches in your mouth, and you bob your head only twice more before Levi's shaking, his
orgasm reaching him quicker than you expected. You suck him off through it, swallowing the
burning cum as it hits your throat.

Eventually, Levi's hips lower. He's panting. "Fucking hell," he swears as you pull off of him.
"How'd you get so good at that?"

You shrug innocently, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand. "You give good clues,"
you tease, smirking.

He huffs, patting the bed next to him. "Your turn," Levi murmurs lowly, and you laugh in
surprise when he pulls you further back on the bed, tugging you so that you're on your back
and he's hovering over top of you.
"My turn?" you say with a grin. "Want my dress off?"

Levi replies by finally pulling down your sleeves. You reach for the buttons of his shirt as
Levi tugs your dress off of you, and despite his threats earlier, he's careful not to tear your
dress as he pulls it down your body. You appreciate it; you'd like to keep it as a memento of
today, one of the happiest days of your life.

You get his shirt off as soon as Levi's got your dress down to your waist, and he tugs his top
off as you wiggle the fabric of the gown down your back to keep it from scrunching up. You
hadn't worn a bra, so Levi wastes no time lowering his mouth to your skin and kissing your
sternum.

You let your eyes flutter shut, flopping back against the bed as cups your breasts, fingers
flicking over your pebbled nipples. You sigh happily as Levi kneads your flesh in his hands,
surprised at his gentleness- he'd been very pushy a minute ago. You must've drained him
when you went down on him.

He moves lower, and then lower still. His lips touch one of the scars above your hip, the one
that he gave you. Out of all of the scars on your body, that one's your favorite.

"Levi," you sigh softly. "God, I love you."

He responds by rising and shifting up towards you. Levi drops his mouth to yours, fitting
your bottom lip between his as he kisses you. It's soft, and it's tender, and everything about it
makes you melt into the soft mattress beneath you. You lace your fingers behind his head as
his chest presses against yours, bare skin to bare skin.

He pauses. You wait as Levi fights off his nerves by swallowing hard before he musters out,
"you're so damn beautiful."

Your grin widens. "Telling me that only after I've got my top off, huh?"

Levi scowls immediately, ducking his head. "You're so annoying," he huffs, kissing your
cheek as you laugh. "You know that's not what I meant."

"I know, I know." Your laughter dies, and your lips twist into a softer smile. "Thank you,"
you whisper, one of your thumbs caressing his cheek. "Really."

He kisses you again, but you feel his ulterior motive: he's shuffling your dress down and off
your hips. You let him, lifting yourself up so that he can pull it off, discarding it somewhere
behind him.

Levi shuffles himself back, and you prop yourself up on your elbows when he freezes.

"Lace?" he says, voice strained.

Ah. Your underwear. Instead of the normal cotton underwear that you normally wore, you
decided that it wouldn't hurt to splurge (...Hange had encouraged it). Lace fabrics were
expensive and mostly worn by royals considering how long they took to be crafted, but you
thought that maybe your wedding night was worth the occasion.
"Fuck," Levi says, his voice ragged as his eyes sweep over your body, devouring you whole.
"Oh, fuck you."

"You've got such a way with words," you say, amused.

He shakes his head, still looking like he's in disbelief. You're grinning until he presses his
thumb to your clit and you tip your head back, a spike of pleasure driving itself from your
center all the way up to your brain. "God," Levi whispers. "You're already soaked."

You lift your head and go to respond, but he rolls a circle with his thumb and you moan
instead, tossing your head back again. "Fuck," you gasp. "Can't help it- oh god damn it."

Levi hums, massaging you through your underwear until you're squirming beneath him.
"Lace underwear," he repeats, like he can't believe it. "Fucking temptress."

The pressure leaves, and you exhale. "Thought you'd like it," you manage.

"I do," Levi confirms. He carefully takes the edges of your underwear and works them down
your legs until they're gone, leaving you bare. "Too much," he whispers, pulling your legs up
towards him. "Too fucking much."

He leans in, and Levi's mouth presses against your cunt.

The wave of euphoria is instantaneous, and you immediately arch your back, a whine
coursing through you. His tongue flits out of his mouth, curling against your clit, and you
spasm beneath him, unable to help the feeling that's already building up in your core. You
want to say his name, but it feels like there's no air left in your body to do so, and your next
moan comes out as a strangled wheeze.

His lips suck on your sensitive nub and you squeeze your thighs around his head, eyes rolling
so far into the back of your head that all you can see is white. Your entire body is trembling
from the exertion but Levi is stupidly consistent, licking and sucking and tongue prodding
into your most sensitive places.

"Fuck," you exhale when you finally get the air to breathe, "Levi, Levi- fuck! Fuck."

His tongue moves gently, rolling and swiping, parting your folds and migrating up to your
clit. You reach forward and bury your hands in his hair, damp with sweat, needing some sort
of anchor to keep yourself from spiraling.

Levi's eyes flicker up briefly, checking on your reaction, and there's no way he could be
disappointed: you're panting, face flushed, eyes burning so intensely that there's no way he
doesn't feel it.

"You're so good," you breathe as his tongue circles your clit. "Fuck, Levi, so good, fuck-"

You're so hypersensitive that you feel the very moment Levi's fingers touch your thigh, ring
pressing into the soft skin of your leg. You feel it when he pulls back, breath hot against your
pussy, and you feel it all tenfold when Levi dives back in, soft lips suctioning against your
clit.
It's so good. It's so good that you can feel your orgasm building almost painfully, ridiculously
fast, and it hits you so hard that your vision goes blank.

"Levi- Levi, fuck-"

You can't hear the obscene sound that rips itself from your lungs through the ringing in your
ears; you're completely overwhelmed by the all-consuming pleasure that's locked your body
in its grip. It feels like your heart is going to burst out of your rib cage as Levi slowly laps up
your slick, coaxing you gently through your orgasm.

Gasping, your hips slowly fall back down to the mattress, the haze surrounding your brain
finally clearing up. "Well, fuck," you choke out, head falling against the pillows as your eyes
flutter shut.

"Oh, you think we're done?"

Your eyes snap open.

Levi's shedding himself of his pants and his briefs, which were already half off anyways. He
climbs over top of you, and you feel his cock- hard once again- bob against your stomach.

He leans in, and Levi kisses you firmly. Lazily, you weave your fingers into his hair, combing
it out of his face as he kisses you. It's almost like he's exploring you once again, trying to
figure out how he fits. How silly of him- he should know he's always fit perfectly.

Eventually, Levi pulls back, forehead tipping against yours. "You want to?" he murmurs.

You blink. "Are you kidding?"

"I want to hear you say it."

"Yes," you say immediately, more than ready. "Yeah, I do."

His lips twitch. "Say it like you mean it."

Say it like you mean it? Fine, then. "Please," you beg with a grin, "please, god damn it, I need
you inside me. Please."

Levi looks like he's died right on the spot. For a second, you think you've broken him, but
then he snaps out of it. "Fucking hell," Levi mutters, and you feel his tip push at your
entrance. "Teasing me like that."

"What," you taunt, "you want me to beg more?"

His eyes flash. "...No."

"Please," you say immediately, batting your eyelashes at him, "please, Levi, you're so good,
so good to me- you're so thick, you fill me up so well, I need your cock-"
Levi can't take it anymore, and he pushes himself in. Your words are cut off by your gasp as
he pushes further and further into you, every extra inch making you curl your toes just a little
bit more.

He holds himself there. Trembling, Levi reaches for your hand and laces your fingers
together, your wedding ring pressed up against his hand. That's the only thing either of you
are wearing, actually- your rings. Somehow, that just makes it all the more intimate.

"I love you," Levi blurts out.

You echo him, squeezing his palm. "And I love you," you return, reaching for his face.

Levi's left arm, which is propping himself up, moves next to your face. You feel his hand
reach out, fingers pressing against the side of your face. His ring gently touches your ear.

Finally, he moves. Levi's forehead, still tipped against yours, rocks gently as he pulls himself
out and then slides back in. Your breathing is shaky as he moves, pleasure rippling through
you like waves on the beach. "God," you murmur, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as
Levi hits that soft spot inside you. "Right there."

He listens, and Levi thrusts a bit faster, pushing into you with a bit more intent. Once again,
he hits you in that spot that makes your thighs shake. You raise your legs, locking your ankles
around his back and pulling him deeper into you. Levi moans, loud and low.

He's whispering your name over and over again, like a feverish mantra, and you return the
favor. "Levi," you babble, "fuck, Levi, oh, god-"

It's merciless now. He's thrusting into you relentlessly, hitting that spot over and over again.
Lust is consuming your brain, causing you to spiral until you're just a moaning, gasping mess.

Levi is no better. Your name is on his breath, accompanied by "shit, fuck" as he get closer and
closer to his breaking point. You tip your chin upwards and kiss him so that he's moaning into
your mouth and you're doing the same to him, his tongue swallowing your pleas. Your entire
body is shaking, trembling as Levi edges you closer and closer-

You hit your peak, Levi's name dying on your tongue. There's a groan ripped from Levi's
throat as he climaxes as well, filling you up. You tighten your ankles around him, holding
him inside you as he gasps, collapsing down on top of you.

For a moment, neither of you move.

Then, Levi raises his head, and he kisses you gently. You sigh into his mouth, savoring the
moment. He lifts away, letting his forehead rest against yours. Even as he pulls out of you
and rolls off to lay next to you, he keeps his head rocked against yours, tipping your head
sideways to keep the position.

"We're married," you whisper, like it's some sort of dirty secret.

You feel his breath huff against your lips as he chuckles. "We are," Levi muses. "You're my
wife."
Wife.

That feels so foreign, so... bizarre. "Husband," you whisper, thumb stroking over Levi's
cheekbone. "Still, I like partner," you admit.

"Me too," he agrees. "Partner."

"Partner," you echo.

He must be able to tell you're drifting away, because Levi kisses the bridge of your nose and
murmurs, "sleep. I'll clean up."

You don't need to be told twice. Your eyes flutter shut, head rolling against the pillow. You
feel Levi get up, probably moving around to grab a washcloth or something.

"I love you," you whisper before you fall asleep.

You're not sure if he hears it or not. But you know he knows anyways.

Levi looks at you. No, not like he's watching you- he really looks at you, eyes digging into
your soul. It feels weird to think about it like that, but he never sees you on a shallow level
anymore. He sees more than just the most breathtaking person he'll ever know. He sees more
than one of the strongest fighters that the walls has. He looks, and he sees more than he's ever
seen before.

He sees... more. With you, there's always more.

It's you. You're... more. You're more kind, more intelligent, more understanding than he ever
could've anticipated.

For a while, he never thought he deserved this. That you were too good for him. That he'd
done too much wrong in his life to ever be allowed to enjoy something as precious as this.
You were too good, too perfect, too much that he wasn't allowed to have.

Somehow, you make him feel like he deserves this, and then more.

Always more.

So Levi lays down next to you, wrapping an arm around you. Instinctively, you cuddle into
his chest, and he wonders if you can hear his heartbeat rattling in his chest.

Eventually, Levi drifts off too.

You're woken up to shouting.

You stir, blinking rapidly to try to wake yourself up. Levi's already sitting himself up, the top
sheet that he threw over the both of you falling down his chest. You try not to let yourself get
distracted by his abs as you slowly return to coherency, trying to make sense of the noise
outside.

"What's..." you trail off, yawning.

Levi's hand reaches for your shoulder. He doesn't push you down, just lets his hand rest there
as a comfortable presence. "Not sure," he mumbles. "Could just be stupid recruits."

You hum, letting your head fall back against the pillows. "Hope so."

He hops out of bed next to you, leaving you cold and alone among the blankets and pillows.
You crane your neck up as Levi wanders toward the tent entrance, pulling loose pants up over
his legs.

Levi opens the tent and the chaos volume doubles. You can't ignore it anymore; you sit
yourself up, pulling the sheet up to cover your chest. You try to gather your senses enough
just so that you can listen, trying to pay attention.

Levi drops the tent flap. "Marley."

Your eyes shoot wide open. "What?"

"Fucking Marley," Levi swears, turning away from the tent entrance. "Sounds like a patrol
just showed up on shore."

"Shit!" you curse, throwing yourself out of bed. You find your underwear and pull them on
over your legs, stumbling. Horror dawns on you; you don't have your uniform or your gear.
"Shit," you repeat, crossing your arms over your chest as you spin. "Levi, I don't have any-"

He cuts you off. "Beside the bed, brown box."

Curious, you move to where he indicated and pull at a box. A smile falls across your face
when you see an extra set of clothes for you: brown trousers, black tank top, boots.

"We don't have time for full gear," Levi quips, pulling on his own shirt as you tug the trousers
up your legs. "Go check the situation, I'll grab us guns."

Packed an extra set of clothes for you just in case, and he's volunteering to grab your
equipment so that you can get to the scene first and make sure everyone's okay. God, you're
so in love with him. "Okay," you agree, throwing your shirt on. "Thank you."

Levi nods. He heads over to as you sit down on the edge of the bed, pulling your boots over
your feet. Levi starts lacing up one of your boots as you lace up the other, fumbling as you try
to tie the shoelace.

Once your boots are tied, you lean in and kiss Levi swiftly on the mouth. "Thank you," you
say as you stumble towards the tent door. You pause, fingers subconsciously moving to twist
the ring on your finger. "See you soon," you say quickly.
"See you soon," Levi echoes, moving around the bed to get his own boots. "Now, go."

You nod, jogging outside of the tent. The cool night air (night? Or really early morning?) is a
shock at first and you definitely wish you grabbed a jacket, but you don't want to turn back
now. You jog across the hills, eyes glued to the cluster of brown jackets and green cloaks
heading towards the water. Garrison, Survey Corps, and MPs alike. You look very much out
of place.

As you get over the ridge, your eyes widen but your shoulders relax. It's only a small boat,
with several brown-coated soldiers already overwhelmed and taken into custody.

Everyone's fine. No one's harmed.

Relief floods your head, and your body immediately relaxes. You can go back to bed with
Levi; you really didn't need to come all the way out here.

"Logan?"

You turn, surprised to see Armin. "Hey," you say, looking him up and down. He's got full
gear on, so you're assuming that he's been here longer and that he knows the situation better
than you do. "What's going on?"

"Just a Marleyan patrol boat," the blond reports. "Scouts report more lights on the horizon, so
we're betting that more boats will follow. Eren's going to ambush them in the water and we'll
wait for them here."

Damn- they even had time to make a plan. "Oh. Good, then," you say, rubbing the back of
your neck. "Sorry for bothering, then. We just heard the chaos and assumed the worst."

"We?" Armin asks, then both of his eyebrows rise. "Oh- sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt your
night."

"Not like you planned this. Don't apologize."

"Captain Logan?"

You turn, and your nose immediately scrunches up. There's packs of recruits around here, but
the one to recognize you and call your name was none other than Floch. Every time you see
this idiot, you're possessed by the irrational urge to punch him straight across the face.

"Floch," you say, your voice clipped.

"That's..." he trails off, eyes skimming you from head to toe. You straighten up. "That's
hardly appropriate wear for fending off enemy invaders," Floch says.

The fucking audacity. Not even a hint of hesitancy in his tone, just pure arrogance. Like he
thinks he's better than you. God, this boy is going to die a painful death.

"Excuse me?" you say sharply.

Armin recognizes the threat in your tone and shifts backwards. Floch isn't deterred. "The
situation is handled," he says, glancing around the scene. "There's no need to show up and
embarrass the good name of the scouts with presentation like that."

Where does this boy get his fucking nerve-

"Floch," Armin says, and you're surprised by the firmness in his tone. "Out of line."

"What? She's-"

"Oi. That's my wife you're talking to."

God. The term wife had never sounded so good. Levi strolls casually into the conversation,
with a silent anger on his face that you recognize. He's dressed like you: simple shirt and
pants. The two of you stand out amongst the rest of the military. His hair is disheveled from
sleeping and there's a dangerous lilt in his tone that you can see immediately has Floch (and
any onlookers) on edge.

He glances at you. "Heard that the situation was handled. I left the weaponry behind."

You nod. "Yeah. All fine here."

Levi turns back to Floch. "Would you look at that," he says dryly. "Looks like I'm
embarrassing the good name of the scouts too. Inappropriate attire. Thanks, Floch. Never
would've noticed."

Floch's mouth opens, then closes.

"You said we were unneeded," Levi says casually, glancing around at some of the bystanders.
"You heard it here first. Guess our help isn't required anymore. Wouldn't want to ruin the
good name of the scouts."

"Of course not," you agree. "They don't need us."

"They don't," Levi agrees, playing it up with you. "Our services are no longer required, I
guess. Have fun fighting a foreign nation without us. Wouldn't want to ruin the scout's good
name, right?"

You almost feel bad for how many others are glaring at Floch now, blaming him for you and
Levi making a deal about stepping down. Keyword: almost. You adore the reputation that you
and Levi have. You're some of this nations best fighters; Floch is no one. He's a lucky
survivor.

"No, no ruining the reputation of the Survey Corps," you say with an exaggerated shake of
your head. "Would you be a better example, Floch? Should we tell them about you cried on
your first mission?"

"Well," Levi says casually. "If we're not needed anymore. Consider this my formal
resignation."
"Mine as well," you say cheerily. "Have a good night, everyone."

The crowd parts as you and Levi walk back down the hill, not hand in hand but still close
together. Obviously, it had all been a ruse- there's no way either of you would abandon your
friends this far down the line. Regardless, the look on Floch's face had been plenty of
entertainment for the evening. Worth getting out of bed for.

("Wife?" a random scout whispers in terror.

"Wife," Armin confirms with a happy smile on his face. He looks to Floch. "You're fucked."

Floch stares at your backs, eyes wide and mouth gaping.)

No sooner have you gotten into your tent when Levi pulls you into him, kissing you hungrily.
"God, I fucking love you," he mumbles against your lips, hands grabbing at the bends in your
elbows.

"That was the pettiest thing I've ever seen," you say with a laugh, kissing him eagerly.

"Spite," Levi agrees. "Powerful motivator."

"Very much so."

Grinning, you fall on top of Levi as he pulls you back down into bed, smiling against your
lips as the two of you meld together.

Who needs sleep anyways?

Hange drags Floch in to apologize to you.

It's so painfully forced that it's hard to take it seriously. You don't really care- you had fun
fucking with him. Levi is standing next to you during the apology, eyebrows lifted in
amusement.

"Enough with the threatening to quit," Hange tell you after Floch's done apologizing and left
the room with his tail between his legs. "You're scaring the military."

"Threatening?" you say innocently. "I did quit."

"Right. I'll see you for training later."

"And if I say no?"

"I'll see you later, Logan."

You glance at Levi, who raises his eyebrows at you, and the two of you shrug. Sure enough,
you show up to training that night, geared up and ready to go.

The sigh of relief from the surrounding soldiers when you and Levi walk in makes your day.
.

Three years go by.

It's three years of intercepting Marleyan boats. It's three years of convincing some of the
Marley soldiers to work with you. It's three years of developments, creating ports at the shore
for boats to land at and diving into all of Marley's tactical and engineering knowledge in
order to make similar advancements.

There's plans. A truce initiated by Zeke, with some sort of elaborate strategy. Unfortunately, a
lot of what he's saying makes sense, and Hange agrees to it.

Although Levi doesn't protest in public, he's certainly not happy about it, and he makes it
excessively clear once you two are in private. "I promised Erwin I'd kill that asshole," he
swears, looking more frustrated than you've seen him in a while. "How am I supposed to kill
him now?"

It's a lot of nights of swearing and cursing the military, cursing Marley, cursing all of the
other nations that are out there. But it's also a lot of whispers, a lot of embraces, a lot of
reassurances that it'll all work out in the end.

There's even an undercover trip to Marley. You sit back on it; your face is too identifiable and
Hange doesn't want to risk anyone being discovered or noticed based on identifiable
characteristics. The marred eye and burned forehead are two pretty clear marks. You tell them
you don't mind, but you never manage to relax yourself for even a second that your squad is
gone, not until they come back and you can bury your nose into Levi's neck once again.

But it feels like it's going okay. It's simple things: construction, minor scouting operations.
Nothing that screams war.

That is, until Eren leaves.

Then, everything starts to go to shit. Eren's easily your biggest asset; he's got his titan and
apparently has some sort of control over the founding titan, which is said to control every
other titan out there. Hange has invasion plans somewhere in their files, obviously, but there's
been no need to put them to use. Apparently, Eren's decided to take matters into his own
hands.

Chaos ensues across the military, and you and Levi are immediately dragged into meeting
after meeting. Strategy session after strategy session.

It's exhausting. And frustrating.

And nerve wracking, because it means a battle is close.

"How much longer?" you murmur to Levi, fingers threading through his hair as he nestles his
face further into your chest.

"For what?" he mumbles.

 "War."

Levi sighs, arms snaking tighter around your waist. He doesn't answer for a while, which is
fair, because you don't have an answer either. You press your lips against the top of his head,
appeased with not getting an answer- he doesn't have to say anything if he doesn't want to.

He eventually mutters, "soon."

Soon. It's coming, and it's going to be here soon. In all fairness, you and Levi got lucky: the
last three years since getting married have been relatively peaceful and granted you and Levi
with a steady routine. It'd been too good to be true, though. You know that Levi, like you,
was savoring every moment like it could be the last night before a battle breaks out. You'd
gotten three years; that's more than you'd anticipated.

The next day, a letter arrives from Eren.

War is here.

Chapter End Notes

EDIT: to all of you who saw me write Moblit instead of Floch- no you didn't. (It's fixed.
Pardon my dumb brain)

The last fluffy chapter for... well, a while. Who's ready for a dark, painful season 4?

Speaking of- I'm trying to plan my next exploit. I like to have a fic going at all times
(how else will I get my weekly dose of validation?) so I'm trying to work out what the
next one is going to be. I've got a couple ideas, all Levi x Reader (because it's all I know
how to write now, apparently), so here goes:
1. The I-run-away-from-my-wedding-and-you're-the-getaway-driver trope (this one'll be
fun)
2. Zombie apocalypse, strangers to lovers sort of thing (lots of gruesome angst :D )
3. Fantasy world sort of thing, enemies to lovers (two rival kingdoms, kill orders, you
know how it be)
4. A good old college enemies to lovers AU (I'm going back in person to college in
January so I will be living vicariously through this)
5. That fun old No Funny Business sequel that I tossed on the backburner (not as
motivated for this one because I'd hate to write a sequel just for the sake of a sequel, I
need to have reasonable cause first)

Anyways. If anyone wants to toss in their two cents, please do. Clearly I can't make any
sort of decisions for myself.

Thank you all for reading and for your lovely comments- some of you say I'm the
highlight of your week, but you guys are the highlight of mine. I love you all. Stay safe
and healthy! <3
 4-2
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Zeke's got a plan."

"Fuck Zeke."

Hange raises their eyebrows at Levi's language, then glances at you.

You shrug. "Yeah. Fuck Zeke."

"I know neither of you are fans of him," they say with a sigh.

Levi snorts, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms. "That's a damn understatement."

"But," Hange concludes, clearly as tired of this as everyone else is, "we don't really have a
choice. It's our best chance of success going through with this invasion."

A heavy silence follows, because everyone knows they're right. You glance sideways at
Armin, who you don't think has smiled since Eren officially flew the coop. You're not the
happiest with that decision either- he's forced your hand. Why would he want to rush into
war? You were finally at peace, with no immediate enemies to fight. Why would he ruin that?

Although... you guess you never really were at peace, not while Marley is so close. And
strategically, yes, it's better to plan an attack than to be attacked. But still...

"We've been over Armin's plan based on Zeke's goals," Hange says, and you glance at the
blond again. "I think it's solid and I've got no corrections to it. Anyone have any objections or
suggestions?"

There's only eight people around the table, and no one says a word.

"Good. I trust Onyankopon to fly the blimp."

There's a pause. You appreciate the transparency from Hange: short and to the point. "Are
you sure that's wise?" Pixis says from next to Hange, raising an eyebrow.

Hange nods. "I am. He's been nothing but loyal to us since he got here three years ago."

"There's also never been an opportunity like this," one of the other Garrison leaders says.

"We're going to need to trust a few of our anti-Marleyan volunteers if we want to do this
properly, with minimal bloodshed," the commander returns, lacing their fingers together.
"We're going to need to rely on their information- which has yet to fail us so far- and their
knowledge of the area to pull this off correctly."
No one else speaks up.

There's only eight of you at the table, but honestly, it feels like less. In general, everyone
agrees on things fairly easily, and there's minimal issues. Hange, you, Levi, Armin, and Jean
are the only ones here that are officially Survey Corps. Pixis is here as the head of the
Garrison, plus his one other commanding officer, and Zackly, the head of the military.

Surprisingly, everyone works together pretty well. At least, in the strategy sessions.

"I want Levi, Logan, Jean, and Lobov to lead the four main squads," Hange says, referencing
the other Garrison member at the table. "Their goals will be to wipe out the Marleyan
cannons or anything that can be used against Eren, as well as support him until the blimp can
come in and we can successfully retreat. Any objections?"

Once again, there's no protests.

Hange nods. "Perfect. I'll disclose specific details when I can. Zackly, anything else?"

The old man shakes his head. You hardly see why he or Pixis get to have an opinion; neither
of them are participating in the attack.

Hange locks eyes with you, and you stiffen up. "Alright," they say. "Dismissed."

Everyone rises, including Levi. He shoots you a puzzled look when you don't stand up right
away. "Give me a minute," you say, glancing up at him. "I'm going to talk to Hange."

Levi frowns. "Fine. See you soon?"

"See you soon," you agree, shooting him a quick smile.

He nods, squeezing your shoulder briefly before he slides by, following Armin out of the
room. Hange stays in their seat, eyes focused on the door until Jean shuts it behind him,
leaving just you and the commander in the room. "Thanks," Hange says, grinning. "Wasn't
sure if you were going to get the memo or not."

You shrug, smiling. "You were pretty clear. What's up?"

"Two things." Hange's smile widens. "Mike's coming on this mission."

"Really?"

Your smile splits across your face. Mike has been out of his wheelchair for a long time now-
ever since your wedding- but there's been a constant limp that seems like it's fading over
time. He's picked up training again, but you weren't sure if he was doing it with the intent to
participate in the mission or just to gain some sort of routine back into his life.

You nod appreciatively, clenching your hands into fists and then releasing. "That's great," you
say. "Whose squad?"

"Yours, if you'll take him."

"Is that even a question? Of course I will."

Hange grins. "Good. Didn't think you'd object." Their smile wanes. "Personally, I think he's
fit for battle despite the limp and I think he'll be an asset. Regardless, I want him with your
squad because I know no one's going to look out for him quite like you are."

Your chest warms. "Of course," you agree.

"I'm also assigning him to you because he's been a squad leader before, and I think he can be
a good fit to... to take your place when I put you somewhere else."

You pause. "Put me somewhere else?" you repeat.

Hange nods. "I've got another assignment."

You sigh. "And it's dangerous, so you couldn't tell me when Levi was here."

"Saw through that too, eh?" They shake their head. "It's a hypothetical situation, so it may not
even be necessary, but I want you on standby for it anyways because, well... since when has
anything ever gone exactly to plan?"

"Fair enough. What is it?"

"Yelena is supposed to trap the jaw titan and the cart titan," Hange states, and you nod along.
You've heard this before. "In an ideal world, they wouldn't be able to escape and we can
count them out for the whole battle. This means that Levi can perform the Zeke takedown
with minimal issues."

You nod again. That much, you know. "But?"

Hange sighs. "But the chances of them being out for the entire battle are slim. We know this."

"Yeah. And?"

"I want you to distract them so that Levi can get a clean shot on the beast titan, if it comes to
that."

You blink. "That's it?"

They raise their eyebrows. "I'm asking you to keep two intelligent and experienced titans
occupied. You expected more?"

"Nah, I just thought it'd be more dangerous." You shrug, standing yourself up from your
chair. "I would've done it anyways, without the order," you say, shrugging again. "You know
that."

Hange stares at you for a moment, then sighs. "Sometimes I forget some of the things you've
had to do," they murmur, and you straighten yourself up. "Yeah. I suppose occupying two
dangerous titans isn't that high up there on the list of worst things you've ever done, huh?"
"Guess not," you reply, smiling bitterly. "That's all?"

"That's all," Hange agrees. "You're good to go."

Nodding again, you stand up from your chair and head towards the door. According to Eren's
letter, he's hoping that your attack will come in two days. Two more days until war, then? Is
that the plan?

Sighing to yourself, you head down the hall, trying to keep your head up.

Two days.

The night before the mission, you and Levi sit out on the beach. You sit on a blanket on the
sand, hands behind you to prop yourself up. It's cloudy tonight and there's not many visible
stars; the only indication that the moon is even there is the glow coming from behind one of
the clouds.

Levi's in a similar position to you, head tipped up to the sky and arms pushed behind him to
stay propped up. His fingers trail loosely across yours.

"You worried about tomorrow?" you murmur.

Levi's hand finishes its aimless movements and closes firmly over yours. "No," he replies.
"You?"

"No," you lie.

Silence falls again. You frown at the stars above you; they seem so dull tonight.

He leans towards you, and Levi gently kisses the side of your head. "The plan is good," he
murmurs. "We're good. We'll be okay."

You nod. "I know. But... it's not us I'm worried about."

You feel Levi sigh next to you. "They'll be fine," he reiterates, squeezing your hand. "We've
been training for years. They're not kids anymore."

Your lips twitch. "Yeah. All grown up, right?"

"Oh, hardly. Did you see them at dinner last week?"

"Yeah," you say with a laugh. "I'm not sure if they'll ever get that stain out of Connie's shirt."

Levi's lips twitch. He kisses the side of your head again, then reaches out with his other hand
to tip your chin towards him. Slowly, he kisses you on the mouth, his lips warm against
yours. As you always do, you melt in his hands, eyes fluttering shut.

He pulls back only slightly. "They'll be okay," he murmurs firmly.

"I know, but..." you trail off, sighing. "We've all made it through so much already," you
whisper. "Our luck's got to run out at some point."

"Hey." Levi kisses you again. "Remember what we said? We fight fate."

Your lips twitch. "And we win," you finish.

"Exactly." He looks you dead in the eye. That stare of his never fails to make your insides
twist themselves into knots. "We fight fate," Levi repeats, "and we win. We'll make it
through."

We'll make it through.

Sighing, you let yourself lean against Levi, eyes wandering to the sky.

We'll make it through, you repeat to yourself. If Levi says so, then you're inclined to believe
it. What other choice do you have?

Have some faith, a voice in the back of your mind echoes. Who's told you that before?

...Yeah. Faith.

You tuck yourself tighter into Levi's side, banishing the doubtful thoughts to the back of your
brain.

You hadn't realized how big Marley was going to be.

Levi had told you about it. Similar in structure to your towns within the walls, just... more of
it. There's more buildings, he was right- but so many of them are just larger in general. It
feels like there's more height to Marley, buildings stretching up higher into the sky.

You're not complaining though- that just means more maneuverability for you and your
friends in ODM gear.

There's some sort of celebration too. The main streets are crowded with vendors and people,
all bustling about. Eren had mentioned this date specifically because of some sort of event;
you hadn't paid too much attention to the specifics.

Mike nudges you. "Where to?"

You tip your head down one empty alleyway. The building on the right side is perfect: tall
enough to provide a great vantage point and plenty of handholds for climbing. "Here," you
say, grinning up at the wall. "Top floor."

"Empty?"

"Only one way to find out."

You raise your leg up, planting your boot on one of the windowsills. Then, you hoist yourself
up, fingers grabbing onto a pipe laid along the wall as you continue to scale the brick.

You hear Mike sigh below you, but you continue on. Your gear is heavy in the pack on your
back but you don't let it stop you from hustling up the wall with minimal issues. Climbing
just feels so natural and so easy that you'd be stupid not to do it. You make it to the top floor
easily and peer inside: no one to be seen.

With a shove, the window comes open, and you roll yourself inside. You pull your knife out
of your boot and raise it warily, glancing around for any Marleyans. No one appears.

You turn back to the window and pop your head outside, looking down at Mike. "Clear," you
call, flashing him a thumbs up.

Mike shrugs at you. "Front door's locked."

"You guys can't climb?" you call down.

"We're not crazy."

You roll your eyes. "One minute!"

You close the window, wandering back inside and heading to the stairs. You keep your knife
out, footsteps silent against the floor as your eyes scan for anyone left in the building. You
can't hear anyone, but you trust your eyes more than your ears.

Second floor is clear, and then so is the first. You relax, tucking your knife back into your
boot as you head towards the main door. The window blinds are pulled down, so no one can
see you inside- you're just going to have to hope that it's your squad on the other side of this
door and not anyone from Marley.

You check the lock and groan. You need a key.

Fumbling into your pants pocket, you pull out your lockpick tools. Ever since that mess in the
military dungeon, you don't go anywhere without them. You bite down on your tongue as
your hands move on their own accord, messing around with the lock.

There's a click as the door comes unlocked, and you push it open with a quick shove.

Sure enough, Mike is standing on the other side of the door, crowded by the half dozen or so
scouts that are meant to be part of your squad. "Ta da," you say dryly, swinging open the
door.

Mike steps aside and the rest of your squad hustles in, heading straight for the stairs. "You
picked the lock?" Mike asks as he steps inside and you shut the door behind him.

"Yep," you confirm, holding up your tools.

"Ah. Forgot you could do that."

You shrug. "Saved my life four years ago. I don't leave home without them."

Mike hums in response, and the two of you head up the stairs. You keep your pace slow,
allowing for Mike to keep up with you; that limp of his slows him down a fair bit. The rest of
the scouts are waiting at the third floor, looking out the windows. There's a set of stairs that
undoubtedly go up to the roof: perfect.

"Alright," you say, clapping your hands. "Let's get ready."

There's no rush; you've got some time until the event is supposed to start and you'll have to
make your move. That just means a lot of time to get ready and make sure everything's set
and good to go.

People start dropping their disguises, showing off the new scout uniform. You like it: all
black, long sleeved, a small wings emblem on the front chest. As much as you understand the
stealth and inconspicuousness required for this mission, you still miss the old uniforms. The
white pants, the green cloaks. You've got your brown jacket hanging up in your room
alongside Levi's, probably never to be touched again.

You pull open your gear bag and you pause.

Everyone else has switched to thunder spears. Obviously, your enemies aren't just titans
anymore, so blades are nowhere near as useful as thunder spears. You and Levi were the only
ones who chose to stick to blades. It hadn't been a difficult decision: you're much more
comfortable with the swords than the new spears.

No, your blades aren't surprising. What is surprising, however, is the folded green cloak that
you certainly don't remember packing.

Curious, you pull it out of the bag. A note falls out.

Only if you want it.

Levi.

Smiling, you bring it up to your face, inhaling. God, it smells like him. You hadn't thought
you'd be allowed to bring a cloak or you'd be stupid to consider it. Yeah, there's no way
you're not going to wear it.

You pull it over your shoulders, and Mike hums behind you. "Nostalgic."

"Yeah," you say with a happy sigh. "I miss these."

"I would've packed mine if I knew we were wearing those."

"I didn't pack it," you confess. "Levi did."

Mike's lips twitch. "Hm."

You clasp the cloak on, then start pulling on your gear. It takes a while, but you have the
time, so you don't rush. The rest of your squad are all suited up and ready to go when you're
done, but you tell them to relax and hold tight: they'll know when to go.

Ten minutes later, there's a giant explosion, and that's your cue to move.

"Rooftops," you order, and the rest of the scouts start taking the stairs up to the roof. You peer
outside one of the windows. The streets are basically empty now, which is good, but that just
means there's a ton of people at the event thing that's supposed to be going on. What's Eren
up to? "Let's go," you call again when you notice people lagging behind. "We'll wait for the
signal."

Your squad heads up towards the roof, and you see everyone start fussing with their gear.
Despite everyone having prepped to go a while ago, people are still going through their gear
for a third time, checking straps and gas.

"Everyone's so fidgety," you remark to Mike.

He shrugs. "They're nervous. It's everyone's first large scale expedition in unfamiliar
territory."

You turn to him. "Are you nervous?"

"No."

"I guess we're kind of immune to it at this point, hm?" you joke, smiling.

"No one's ever immune," Mike says, his voice quiet and his eyes focused somewhere far
away. You're immediately reminded of the terror Mike went through in his last expedition
over four years ago, and you kick yourself for not being more sensitive. "We think we are,
until we aren't."

We think we are, until we aren't.

That metal bench. That damn metal bench, blade pressing into your skin-

You squeeze your eyes shut, then reopen. Mike's completely right: every time you remember
that dungeon, your skin crawls. You're naïve to think that you're not nervous or that you'll
never be nervous again.

"Sorry," you murmur. "That was insensitive."

"You're fine," he replies, shrugging. "We may be nervous, but we're a lot better at hiding it."

Well, that's true, at the very least. Everyone seems so fidgety. "Alright!" you call, raising your
voice, and your squad turns to face you. "We've practiced this. You all know what you're
supposed to be doing. Remember our strategy and..." you trail off, looking to Mike. He
doesn't say anything, so you turn back to the others. "Don't die," you finish. "Alright?"

"Yes, Captain!" they echo.

Captain. It's been a few years now and you're still not used to it yet. Rolling your shoulders
back, you glance at Mike. "Smell anything?"

"Titans," he says. "Two."

"Assuming Eren's one of the ones transformed, then someone's up against him," you muse,
glancing around. You can't see any other movement, so you're assuming that you're holding
your position for now. "Everyone's got their lights? Guns?"

There's nods as people hold up their equipment.

"Good." You glance behind you again; you can hear whirring. People are starting to move.
"Let's go!"

Your squad follows your lead as you step off of the roof and let your gear pull you away,
swooping over the rooftops. Mike leads next to you; you'd instructed him to stay near you in
case you needed his impeccable sense of smell to navigate, but there's no need. You can see
the battle in the distance.

There's a giant spike shooting up out of the middle of the event courtyard. It's huge, towering
well over the buildings, and the top of it has been broken off. You see something raised up
above the building's height level: a hammer of some sort with an impossible thin handle.

"Go," you urge, leading your troops towards the battle area. There's cannons and soldiers
spread out around the battlefield area, weapons pointed at the titans. The courtyard is
massive; it'll be difficult to cross easily. If you ever have to go around, it's going to be a long
trip.

There's a resounding boom as the hammer gets brought down. You can't see what it hit. "The
soldiers?" Mike questions.

You nod. "Yeah. We're going to time it."

Mikasa should be making her move anytime now; you'll time it with her strike. You signal for
your squad to pause, only a few rooftops away from the soldiers that you're planning on
taking out. From here, you can see the other titan: it's thin, tall, and almost looks like it has
some sort of faceguard on it. Everything about it, including the hammer in its hands, looks
like it's made out of that hardened titan material.

Eren's titan is standing across from it. He's been decapitated, head torn completely off his
body. You can vaguely make out Eren emerging from the back of his titan's neck, which
means Mikasa should be coming in any minute.

"Go!" you shout.

Your squad jumps with you as you head straight towards the enemies' cannons. You draw one
of your blades and drive the flat side of it straight into one soldier's head. He plummets,
collapsing to the ground like a puppet cut from its strings. Only after the man crumples do the
soldiers realize they're in danger, and people start to shout.
Shouting does them nothing. Your team takes care of them quickly, firing shots at the men
until every single one of them is down and launching thunder spears at their cannons to
render them inoperable. You're happy that you stuck to your blades, because it proves to be
effective against Marley's fighters. None of them stand a chance against you as you sweep
from man to man, slicing away.

Once the last one is down, you call out, "back!" and your squad immediately retreats to the
nearest rooftop like you'd planned. You touch down, stumbling across the roof, and do a
quick head count as the rest of them swoop in.

"That's everyone," Mike says, pulling up on your other side.

You nod. "Everyone's good? No injuries?"

A flurry of murmurs.

"Good," you say, relieved. "Alright. Mike's in charge. Go!"

This is the tricky part: the part where you trust your squad to Mike and you have to
improvise. Stocked up on bombs and thunder spears, your squad takes off, ready to handle
the incoming Marleyans. "Ready?" Mike asks, lingering by your side.

"Absolutely," you agree. "Good luck."

Mike nods, zipping away, and you turn back towards the battlefield. This is the fun part for
you- right? You just have to keep an eye out for Levi and make a move on any of the enemy
titans if necessary. That, you can do.

Mikasa's taking on the war hammer titan- at least, that's what you think it's called- and she
seems to be having a relatively easy time, so you perch yourself on the roof edge and wait.
Your eyes skim the clearing, looking for where Levi's perched himself, and you grin when
you see him standing on top of the broken spike from earlier. Of course he's fine; it's still nice
to see him regardless.

There's a blast of air as Eren transforms once again, and you see his hand dive into the
ground. He yanks out some sort of crystal- much like the one Annie's encased in- and a thin
cord that had been connecting it to the titan snaps. The titan that Mikasa had been fighting
drops to the ground, useless.

"He got it," you say in surprise as Eren holds the crystal up to his jaw.

Another titan comes out of nowhere. It's small with what looks like an iron jaw, and it's really
damn fast because you don't see it until it's already latched onto Eren. Its mouth opens, and it
clamps down on Eren's nape, ready to sink its teeth into his neck. Jaw titan.

Hange was right- looks like Yelena couldn't keep them down for very long after all. Looks
like you're up.

"Here goes," you say to yourself, and you jump.

Levi's closer, and like you'd expected, he swoops in and cuts straight through the titan's jaw.
Perfect- now it can't bite down. Spinning, you zoom in, gear whirring, and slice through the
claw that the titan's got digging into Eren's shoulder. The hand cleanly separates from the
wrist, and there's a growl from the titan as it falls.

You plant your boots firmly on the building wall that you landed on and ricochet off, twisting
your neck to see if you need to go in for another swing. The situation seems fine: Eren's
grabbed the titan by its hair and has pulled it up.

Your eyes look for Levi. He's still airborne, but he's looking at you too. His eyes meet yours,
and the smile appears on your face without meaning to.

"God, I love you," you whisper to yourself as he flies around, going after the jaw titan again
as it tries to get away. There's something about the grace in the way Levi flies that always
makes something flutter in your stomach.

Mikasa launches a thunder spear, stopping the titan's escape attempt, and several scouts
converge on it, preparing for the kill. You don't join them; something feels wrong, something
in the deepest part of your core, and you look up right as the guns go off.

It's that god damn cart titan. Pieck.

It's got some sort of armor loaded up onto its back, and it's pouring heavy fire out over the
battlefield. You take off immediately, zooming over the rooftops with your jaw locked. That's
quicker than you'd anticipated. In the strategy meetings, Yelena had said that she could buy
plenty of time to take down the war hammer titan before they would manage to get out, but
here they were. That was too fast. Hange had been worried about this, like they'd voiced to
you, but it feels so much sooner than expected.

The jaw titan alone, you might've been fine to manage. Now you really do have to take on
two.

"Shit," you curse as you glance down at the battlefield and see some fallen scouts. You were
hoping for no casualties, and although that may be a bit too much to hope for, it still makes
you angry.

You zip along the rooftops, unwilling to go straight across the battlefield and make yourself
an easy target. It'll be easier to sneak up on them this way too; hopefully, she won't see you
coming.

"You're not getting away from me this time," you mutter, a scowl fixed on your face.

Even better. Lumbering around the buildings near the cart titan is none other than Zeke
himself. You hate working with him and you wish you didn't need him alive- well, you know
Levi hates it more. That was a promise Levi made to Erwin, one of the last times he talked to
him before he died. A promise that he'd kill the beast titan.

You know that's a promise that keeps Levi up at night, and you know it hurts him not to be
able to act on it- so it hurts you too.
As you get closer, you start to realize that this may be more difficult that you'd intended. The
jaw titan is next to Zeke, snapping its jaws, and the cart titan's armor looks painfully heavy
duty. Well... you said you'd distract, right? You've had to do worse. And they're both in the
same place- theoretically, this should make your life easier.

But you've got to do this right. Zeke will look suspicious if he doesn't also participate in the
attack- so you'll need to stay out of his range until Levi can take him down.

You narrow your eyes at Pieck again. There's some sort of armor covering its face and four
separate machine guns mounted on its back- you bet there's a few soldiers hidden in there.
There's no way you'll be able to get to her nape.

"Fuck," you say with a snarl. You'll have to incapacitate.

You curse your gear in your head as you continue to hook your grapples into the building
walls and release, flying as fast as you can. Two scouts fly around Zeke's neck; the soldiers
on the cart titan's back shoot them both down. This could be bad.

If the guns are pointed outwards, then the best spot to strike is from above. Finally close
enough, you launch yourself up to roof level at the same time that another scout does, thunder
spears aimed at the machine guns.

The jaw titan lunges for the scout, and you lunge at the jaw titan.

It spies you coming at the last possible second, and it twists. Your blades, which had been
intended to go through its nape, take a chunk out of its shoulder instead. You loop around,
hooking onto its opposite shoulder so that you can swing back towards it. Unfortunately, the
jaw titan still succeeded at knocking the scout off course, so his thunder spears didn't hit their
mark. Thankfully, the scout's alive- you can see him collecting his bearings and escaping into
one of the buildings.

Scowling, you spin around its outstretched arm, twirling around it the way Levi taught you
and slicing through its scrawny limb. You land yourself on the jaw titan's back.

Hm. His limbs are so damn thin- easier to cut through than branches.

"I can't get a shot!" you hear one of the gunmen on Pieck's back shout. "Galliard's in the
way!"

Good. That means you're doing this right.

The jaw titan- Galliard- reaches around for you with its good arm, which serves to be a
mistake, because you swing up both of your blades and slice his fingers into a dozen pieces.
The jaw titan howls and spins, trying to throw you off, but you're still planted firmly on its
back, hooked in tight and holding onto its hair.

Funny- you'd done this with Ymir too, when she helped you escape from Reiner way back
when. Damn. You miss her.
"I've stayed upright being carried around in Reiner's mouth," you say with a grin on your
face. "Good luck shaking me off."

Galliard almost... pauses. Then, he rotates so that his back is to Pieck. You see what he's
doing, and it's exactly what you were hoping for.

The guns on Pieck's back go off, and you leap up at the last second, putting yourself up in the
air above the cart titan. The other scout had tried moving directly above the cart titan and the
gunman had yelled that he couldn't get a shot, so you're betting you'll be safer up here. The
bullets slam into Galliard's back and you hear the titan roar. Obviously, it won't do any major
damage, but it'll be annoying.

Gracefully, you land on top of the heavily armored backpack that Pieck is wearing. You whip
your neck up, hair flipping out of your face.

The jaw titan is picking itself up from the rooftop, groaning. Behind him is the beast titan,
thankfully out of reach: last thing you want is Zeke reaching out for you and putting you up
against three titans at once.

"Hi," you say with a cheeky grin, tapping your blade against the top of the cart titan's head.
"Remember me?"

Pieck creaks, shifting around to try and throw you off, but you lock in your grapples and hold
yourself still. You hear some of the soldiers inside the barrels on her back crying out from
being rattled around and it's hard to stifle your smile.

"Careful," you taunt. "Not just me up here."

"Logan," you hear Zeke rumble, and you forgot how unsettling his voice was. "As
bothersome as ever."

"Then why don't you do something about it, Zeke?" you call, cocking your head. Galliard is
still picking himself up off the ground- you'd destroyed one of his arms and his other hand, so
he's having difficulty. "C'mon. It's just me."

No, you don't want him to attack you- but taunting him is still fun. God, you hate him.

Adrenaline is pumping through your veins, and you're genuinely having the time of your life.
Hange's orders echo in your brain: the jaw titan and cart titan need to be distracted so that
Levi can make his move on Zeke, all part of the ploy that Zeke's still on the side of
Marleyans. You don't mind this job at all; vengeance has been high on your priority list ever
since Eren's letter came in detailing an attack plan. Vengeance against the titan that got the
better of you in the battle of Shiganshina.

You like being a pain in the ass- especially to Pieck. You've wanted revenge for a while.

Galliard's eyeing you warily, but he's not moving- maybe he recognizes that you're at a
stalemate for the time being. Pieck's nape is covered by that thick armor, so without thunder
spears, you're not going to be able to crack through. His hands aren't healed, so he can't swipe
at you, and he can't risk lunging without injuring Pieck and the soldiers on her back. Zeke is
too far away to be a danger without devoting three titans to taking down one person, which
would just be humiliating. Regardless, you have to keep him at a decent distance so that his
inevitable takedown still looks realistic.

You grin, locking eyes with Galliard. "Don't tell me you're scared," you mock, raising an
eyebrow. "I'm one soldier against three of you. And I don't even have a gun."

Now, Levi. Do it now.

Perfectly timed, Levi zips out of nowhere, blades dragging through the back of the beast
titan's neck. Zeke doesn't even move: his titan tumbles, falling to the ground.

Good. As long as Levi can successfully grab Zeke, then your job is done.

There's a burst of steam from the back of the jaw titan's neck; Galliard bursts free. He's got
light, slicked back hair and wide eyes. Wide eyes that are focused on you as you ready your
blade and prep yourself to jump at him.

You're about to launch yourself at him when Pieck jerks sideways. You don't fall, but it stops
you from going after Galliard as he transforms again, launching himself in Eren's direction.
He's taking off, leaving just you and the cart titan.

"Now!" you hear, and scouts surround the roof.

This is the moment, the moment when the two titans separate. This is where everyone is
supposed to take down the cart titan, now that the jaw titan isn't around to pick off the scouts.
Gritting your teeth, you flatten yourself to the back of the titan, lean over, and jam your
sword blindly into one of the sight holes for the shooters.

There's a cry, and one of the guns stops. "Carlo!" someone yells.

"Logan!" you hear Jean call, and you look up. "Here!"

You release your grapples and jump as Pieck twists violently. You launch yourself to where
Jean is as half a dozen scouts appear overhead, launching thunder spears down at the cart
titan. You grin to yourself; one less shooter means less injured scouts.

"Thought you'd want to do the honors," Jean says, and he hands you a thunder spear.

You beam, mounting it on your arm. "You can get some action too, I don't mind sharing," you
joke, watching as the armor on Pieck's back crumbles away under the weight of the
explosions.

Jean nods. "Now!"

You and Jean charge forward, thunder spears in hand, one of you posted on either side of the
cart titan's armored face. You kick out your feet and slide forwards, launching your thunder
spear up into the opening for the cart titan's eye, and the spear successfully slides into the
opening in the armor. A quick glance at Jean verifies that he's hit his mark too. "Go!" you
hear Sasha call, and a dozen scouts release their own thunder spears into Pieck's back.

There's a deafening boom, and the cart titan explodes. You spin around as Pieck stumbles to
the edge of the roof, launching herself off, and you shoot your hooks after her.

"Logan!" you hear someone protest, but you're already gone.

You catch up to Pieck in the air, using your grapples to pull yourself down until your feet
touch the titan's back. She's missing limbs, eyes falling loose and steaming everywhere, but
you want this moment. You want to solidify this as the moment you caught her. You got your
revenge.

Pieck falls to the ground, and you fall on top of her. Your orders are to finish her off; that's
what the homemade bomb strapped to your waist is for.

You grab the bomb, ready to drop it-

"Wait!"

You turn your head. It's a kid. He's blond and short- maybe eleven or twelve years old. His
eyes are wide with panic, and he's running into bombing range.

Your heart jerks in your chest. Kids. You can't kill kids- they haven't done anything wrong
except grow up in a different place.

But you can't... not do your job.

You drop the bomb, then lunge at the kid just as steam explodes from behind you.

Damn Pieck for always having the last laugh. The steam dislodges the bomb, blasting it
away, and the explosive is propelled skyward before it explodes above your head. You tackle
the blond kid to the ground, pulling your cloak out from around your shoulders to help cover
him from the explosion. Heat singes the back of your neck from where you don't quite have
the cloak pulled up high enough, but nothing bad.

You pull back your cloak, and you're genuinely surprised that your first instinct is to turn to
the kid and blurt out, "you okay?"

His eyes are wide, shining with tears, but he looks alright. "W- what?" he stammers.

You look up and immediately stiffen. Across from you, beside the body of Zeke's titan, is
another kid- young girl, brown hair, ferocious eyes- and a commander. He's got his rifle
raised at you, directly at your face, and you can stare right down the barrel.

You know what Levi would tell you to do: grab the boy and hold him up in front of you.
Prevent the shot, then wait until there's a sufficient distraction for you to zoom away. But you
can't bring it in yourself to use the blond boy as a shield. He seems so innocent, so scared.
Panicked.
"Miss Pieck!" the girl shouts.

The commander's staring you down- why hasn't he fired yet? From this range, he could easily
hit you without hitting the kid.

Unless...

You saving the boy. It's a truce.

His eyes narrow at you, and he nods. He's sparing your life in exchange for you saving the
kid's. You'd never expected that, not from people that were rumored to hate you simply for
your existence.

You don't want to push your luck. You nod, give the boy once last glance, and shoot up to the
top of the building.

It's a good thing you moved when you did; another dozen Marleyan soldiers roll in and they
immediately start firing off shots at incoming Survey Corps. You nearly stumble over the roof
ledge, then collapse onto your knees, exhaling.

You could've died. You faced off with two human-controlled titans, grinning like a madman
the entire time, and came out without a scratch- only to nearly be done in by an old man with
a rifle.

It's done. It doesn't matter now; it's all done.

Shakily, you pull yourself together, getting to your feet just in time for Mike to appear over
the edge of the building. "We can't pursue," he reports as he hobbles forward. "Too much
gunfire."

"Almost had her," you say with a sigh. "Sorry."

"Don't. You took her down. She's out for the count now."

You pinch your lips together and glance up at the streets. The scouts have done their jobs:
lights line the rooftops, and you can see the blimp coming in the distance. That means
Armin's done his part as well. Good. All's going according to plan then, more or less.

There's more whirring, and three more familiar faces land on the roof. You can't help but
smile as Connie runs over to you, Jean and Sasha trailing behind. "You're good?" Connie
asks, evidently relieved. "That guy- he was aiming at you."

"Fine," you report. "Life for a life. I got lucky."

"I'll say," Jean says in a tone that reads that was reckless.

You roll your eyes lightly. "Yeah, yeah. All worked out, even if I didn't get her." You point a
finger at Jean, then sweep it around to the rest of your comrades, finishing on Mike. "Levi
doesn't find out about that part," you add.
Mike smiles softly. "Yes, ma'am."

"You were awesome against the jaws titan," Sasha adds, shooting you a reassuring smile. "I
think he's scared of you now."

"You definitely traumatized him," Jean agrees, lips twitching.

You laugh to yourself. "Good!"

The casual banter amidst the battlefield makes your heart warm, even if it's definitely not the
right place for it. In the distance, Eren's got his hands on the jaw titan, and he's holding him
above his head. You narrow your eyes. Is that- is that the crystal with the war hammer titan in
Galliard's jaws?

Eren forces Galliard's jaw shut, and the crystal breaks, pouring its contents into Eren's mouth.

"I gotta hand it to him," you say offhandedly. "Never would've thought about using the jaw
titan to break the crystal."

"He got the war hammer now," Sasha says softly, eyes wide.

You clap your hands. "Alright. Time to defend the blimp so that everyone can get home." You
glance at Mike. "Losses?"

"I know of four," he reports. "Not sure if there's more."

Your stomach twists. Four is literally nothing- not compared to the two hundred lost at
Shiganshina- but with no battles and next to no death in the past four years, you've been used
to keeping everyone around. Four good soldiers gone.

You squeeze your eyes shut and reopen to keep yourself focused. "Alright," you repeat. "Let's
go."

"Got it."

Jean, Connie, and Sasha take off, moving towards the blimp. You grab Mike's arm before he
can leave. "You're limping," you accuse, raising an eyebrow at him. "How're you doing?"

Mike stares at you for a moment before he replies. "Nothing new," he says. "Not as capable
as I hoped I was, that's all."

"You hurt?"

"Nothing I can't deal with."

"Come on. Mike."

"Logan."

"Michael." Your lips twitch. "Is that even your full name?"
He smiles in return. "No. But I appreciate the concern." He glances down at his legs.
"Bothersome, but not particularly painful," he admits. "I'll be a hindrance if I continue for
much longer. This is probably my last field mission."

Your smile wavers slightly. "Well," you say, "it was a honor to do one last mission with you."

"The only thing bothering me," Mike muses, glancing up at the blimp that's approaching, "is
that I never got to repay my debt to you."

"Repay it by not telling Levi the extra lengths I took today."

He chuckles. "Fine."

You and Mike both step up to the building's edge and hop off, swooping along the streets.
You don't have guns, so you'll be pretty useless trying to ward off the oncoming soldiers
unless you jump down to the street to fight them. Not only would that be ridiculously
dangerous and reckless, but Levi would most definitely have a heart attack.

So you zip alongside Mike, being mindful not to get in the way of any of the other scouts,
and you zoom up to the blimp. Mike is right next to you, reaching to grab onto the ropes that
hang from the underside of the aircraft. You hang next to him, grip tightening around the
material.

A figure appears from the doorway to help you up, and you grin when you see who it is.
"Armin," you say happily as he grabs your arm to help you up. "Success?"

"If this is what you consider success," he says, eyes distant, "then yes."

You hoist yourself into the blimp, then reach down to help Armin pull Mike up to safety.
"Thanks," Mike says gruffly, rolling into a sitting position. He extends his legs out in front of
him, wincing as he stretches.

"All clear?" Armin asks, glancing at you.

"Yep," you say, grinning as you recount your fight with Pieck and Galliard. "Couldn't finish
off Pieck, but we did a number on them all. Haven't had that much fun in a while."

He nods, lips twitching in amusement. "We're all posted in the front- I just wanted to make
sure the first people got up okay. Levi's in the front room too, with Zeke. I'm assuming you'll
want to see him." He turns to Mike. "You good to help the next few?"

Mike nods. "That, I can do."

"Perfect," you reply. "Thanks, Mike."

You squeeze Armin's shoulder as you pass him, heading towards the front of the blimp.
Armin follows you as you slide open the door, peering inside.

The first person you see is, unfortunately, Zeke. He's still steaming, his wounds recovering
from where he's sitting, restrained. Levi's standing next to him, cloak billowing with the air
flow, and you can't help but smile when you see him. Of course he's unharmed, you'd
expected nothing less- it's just nice to see him.

Apparently, it's nice for him to see you too, because you see his posture relax. "Logan," he
says. "Report?"

"Four confirmed dead," you say, looking to Zeke and then back to Levi. "Eren ate the war
hammer. Cart titan's down for the count but not out. Jaw titan too, probably. We're gathering
up to leave."

He nods, and he gives you a quick scan. "Injuries?" he asks.

You know it's framed just for you, disguised as being for everyone, but you give him the
general breakdown anyways- no point in being sappy when Zeke and two other military
officers are watching you. "Nothing that I know of," you say. "Mike's old injuries are acting
up but otherwise, he's fine."

"Good." Levi's gaze lingers on you, and you see his eyes soften. "Go make sure everyone else
gets into the blimp okay."

"Yes, sir."

"Rings?"

You look to Zeke. You hadn't realized that your fingers had moved to fidget with the silver
ring on your left hand- your nervous habit is certainly presenting itself at weird times. You
glance at Levi; he's ignoring Zeke, as per usual, but you smile when you see his ring on his
finger. He never took it off for the battle.

Zeke chuckles when neither of you respond. "Congratulations, you two," he says, tipping his
head back against the wall. "Slaves to the laws of marriage."

"Jealousy doesn't look good on you, Zeke," you say cheekily, rolling your eyes. You shoot
Levi one last look before you turn on your heel, heading out the door and back to the main
room.

God, what you wouldn't give to jam your blade down that man's throat.

"She's in a good mood," Zeke remarks after you leave, glancing at Levi. "She like taking on
titans as much as she likes you? She sure was having a grand time taunting Galliard and
Pieck."

"She's been waiting for this ever since we cleared the walls of titans," Levi replies, glaring
daggers at him.

"Mm. Well, based on what I saw, she definitely traumatized Galliard for the rest of his life."

Levi can't help the twitch of his lips.

Of course you did.

You count heads as you help scout after scout into the blimp, keeping a careful eye out for
your friends. Sasha is the first of them all to arrive, with Connie close on her heels, and the
two of them help Jean get into the blimp. You see Mikasa swoop in, but she locks onto the
ropes below the front room where Levi and Armin are. She's got Eren in tow. Good; the
whole reason for coming to the island was Eren, so it's good to see he's alive, even if no one's
exactly happy with him right now.

"Confirmed deaths?" Jean asks as he pulls himself to his feet.

There's still a few people swooping around below the blimp, but you step away from the
opening when Jean stands up. "Still only four," you say. "I think that's all."

He nods solemnly. "Dammit."

"Compared to the damage we did to them!" someone shouts, and you turn to see Floch. He's
become no less aggravating in the past few years, but for once, you agree with him. "It's a
huge victory! The new Eldian empire's first battle has been a massive success!"

There's a massive cheer as the other scouts start celebrating. Your moment of agreeing with
Floch is over; it's much too noisy now.

"Now rejoice!" Floch howls, and you resist the urge to throw something at him. "That's how
we'll pay tribute to the fallen four!"

Jean sighs from next to you. "Our first battle. I wonder... how many more there's going to
be."

That sounds like something you or Levi would say. The two of you constantly pondered that,
wondering how many more fights you had until your world was finally at peace and the two
of you could live your lives. "Plenty," you say softly, thinking of the repercussions of this
battle. "But we'll win those too."

"Well," Connie says, wrapping one arm around Sasha's shoulders and another around Jean's,
"at least we survived another one."

Your lips twitch. The luck of the 104th.

"Sorry to everyone else," he continues, hugging Jean and Sasha close to him, "but you guys
are really special to me."

"Ouch," you say loudly.

Connie laughs. "C'mon, Logan!" he says, and Sasha grabs your arm to pull you in for a messy
group hug. "You're in this too."
"This hurts!" Jeans complains. "Idiot! Don't hug people when you've got so much iron on-
that's just stupid!"

"Hug him harder," you suggest.

"You know what's stupid?" Connie says, releasing the three of you. "Someone who tries to
trim a beard that they've just started growing."

You snort in laughter. "Says the one who can't grow a beard."

"Hey!"

"That's right," Sasha agrees. "You can't eat a beard, no matter how long it gets."

"Huh?" you, Connie, and Jean echo.

She perks up, looking at you. "When are we eating next?"

You shrug. "Probably when we get back to the island."

Sasha groans, slumping against the ground. "That's so far."

Connie and Jean start to hassle Sasha, so you stand up, smiling to yourself. Your friends
really are the best- you don't know what you'd do without them. You look around for Mike,
wishing that you could call his name but knowing it would get lost amongst all of the
cheering.

You finally find him near the rear of the blimp. "Doing okay?" you call above the noise.

"Fine," he replies. "Noisy."

You hum in agreement, glancing back to the celebrating scouts. Your fantasy of punching
Floch may come true tonight; he looks especially hittable right now. "Yeah," you muse,
cracking one of your knuckles. "Maybe we should-"

"Blood," Mike says.

You turn towards him, stiffening. "What?"

"I smell blood," he says, eyes whipping towards the back of the blimp.

"Anyone injured?" you call, raising your voice. Only a few people turn to you and shake their
head; too many of them are cheering alongside Floch. God, one of these days, you're going to
kick his ass. "Hey!" you cry out, pushing into the crowd. "Anyone bleeding?"

"Back," Mike says, and you turn towards the back of the blimp. "Has Lobov come up yet?"

"I don't think so," Sasha says from beside you. "I-"

Someone rolls into the blimp, and it's not Lobov. Immediately, you draw your blade,
suddenly cursing yourself for not having a gun like everyone else. You raise your arm, finger
 twitching on the button to release the blade as you rear back to throw your sword.

Your eyes widen as the figure raises their head. It's a kid.

Not just any kid- it's the girl from earlier. When you took down Pieck, this kid was on the
ground nearby, staring at her surroundings in horror. For a moment, you'd empathized with
her: her whole world, turned upside down.

Now she's raising her gun, and your options are limited.

You don't have time to use your words: you lunge forwards and shove the person who's the
closest target down: Sasha. Fuck- was she aiming specifically for Sasha? You see the girl's
finger squeeze over the trigger, and for a moment, everything seems to move in slow motion,
accompanied by a deafening boom as the bullet is launched.

Everything's so stupidly slow.

Realistically, you know that the bullet is moving faster than your eyes can comprehend. But
in the moment, it feels like you're stuck in time. You watch as the bullet travels towards you
and Sasha, whom you've shoved down, going barely over Sasha's shoulder and missing her.

Your moment of relief is very short lived.

The bullet hits you, and all hell breaks loose.

Chapter End Notes

Change of plans. Hey, y'all were voting for a zombie apocalypse, so clearly you like
angst. Well, here ya go.

XOXO I love you guys <3

 4-3
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Your shoulder explodes in pain, and the blade that had been in your hand drops to the ground,
discarded. "Logan!" you hear Mike shout, but you're already crumpling to the ground, hands
fumbling with your shoulder. Blood is seeping between your fingers, spilling through your
hands and soaking your sleeves and shirt.

"Shit," you force out, slumping to the ground as scouts crowd around you. "Shit, shit-"

"Logan," Sasha says, voice filled with horror, "I'm so sorry-"

"Bandages," Mike says immediately, snapping into action. Through the haze of your vision,
you see him point to one of the scouts. "You, get the kit. Now."

You squeeze your eyes shut, then reopen. This can't be happening.

There's a stampede of scouts rushing to the shooter; you don't hear any more shots fired, so
hopefully that means everyone else is alright. "Everyone okay?" you manage, craning your
neck to look around.

A hand eases under your head, and more hands pull at your legs to get you into a more
comfortable position. "Focus on yourself," Mike says calmly, and you see he's the one by
your head. Something's shoved underneath, acting as some sort of pillow. "Deep breaths. Stay
awake."

Someone grabs your hand. "Everyone's fine," you hear Jean say.

You smile weakly. "Jean," you say, feeling very loopy. "Good. Thank you."

Mike told you to focus on yourself, but Jean told you what you needed to hear- something
you'll always appreciate Jean for. He's very good at that- being a perfect presence in any sort
of injury crisis. He's done that for you before, back when you escaped that military dungeon.

God, he's such a good kid. He's so grown up...

Something presses up against your shoulder and you wince. "Bullet's probably still in your
shoulder," Mike reports, still completely focused. "We need to wait until we can get to a
controlled environment so that we can get it out."

"Sounds good," you croak. "Great plan."

"You'll be fine," someone says from behind you, and you think it's Connie's voice. He sounds
shaky. "You're tough, Logan. You'll be fine."
You laugh weakly. "Yeah, I've... been through worse." You turn your head to Jean, finally
getting a good look at him. He's kneeling by your side, grip iron tight on your hand. You
appreciate the extra comfort. "We've got to... to stop doing this," you joke. "I really need to
stop- stop dying right next to you."

Jean, to your surprise, chuckles. "Second time now?"

"Third," you croak out, scrunching your eyes shut as you wrack your brain for the memory.
"First expedition outside... the walls."

"Your ribs," he remembers, smiling fading. "You passed out in the tree."

You nod slowly, smiling. "And then... the forest. Escaping. The dungeon."

Jean's smile is strained. "You weren't dying either of those times," he reminds you. "So you're
not dying now."

"...Sure felt like I was."

Sure feels like I am hangs in the air. Neither of you say it.

Sasha drops down next to Jean, and her eyes are shining. "Logan," she says, her voice
wavering. "I'm-"

"Don't," you interrupt, shaking your head weakly. "I'd much rather... have me injured than
you dead. Sasha, don't... don't apologize."

"Stay awake," Mike instructs, recognizing that you're starting to drift. "Someone talk to her."

"C'mon, Logan," Connie says, dropping down to the floor on Mike's other side. "Our squad!
We always make it through," he continues, voice wobbling. "Always do."

"Always do," you agree. "The... the girl?"

A few heads turn. "Detained," Jean says shortly.

"Eldian devils!" you hear someone shriek, and you're too tired to look up and confirm, but
you're betting it's the girl who shot you. "Don't touch me, you devils! We haven't lost yet! She
killed good soldiers!" she howls, and you finally crane your neck up enough to see that her
raging eyes are focused on Sasha. "You need to die! You all need to die-"

Immediately, she's slammed into the floor. For the first time in forever, you're thankful for
Floch and his rowdy crew.

"There's a second kid," Connie murmurs. "Looks like the other boy from before."

Your eyes widen. The kid you saved?

"Logan," Sasha says, her voice panicked, "please be okay. Please. I'll- I'll give you my share
of dinner next time we eat."
"That's huge," Connie says, his smile watery.

You laugh weakly. "I'll take it, Sasha. Thank... you."

There's a commotion from in front of you. It sounds like Floch and his cronies have funneled
all of their energy into beating up the two kids. They're just kids, a voice in the back of your
mind says, but it's immediately drowned out by the rational side of your brain whispering that
girl fully intended to kill Sasha.

"Marley scum!" you hear Floch yell, and you open your eyes again so that you can see him
hoist the girl up by her hair. "These two got up here using Lobov's equipment. I'll throw them
over the edge."

"Either that, or a quick death at the hands of our captain," someone else that you don't
recognize chimes in. "You just shot our best fighter's wife." The girl's face drains of color and
you nearly laugh; the comment was probably overkill, but still amusing.

"Yeah," Floch agrees. "So either you die at his hands or we toss you out-"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," you snap, summoning what's left of your energy so that you can
glare at Floch.

There's an awkward pause. The rambunctious crowd that had beat up the girl and her
accomplice all look between each other. A bit of confusion, and even the smallest bit of
shame. "...How are you, Captain?" Floch asks finally, mostly out of obligation.

"...Fuck you, Floch," you reply.

"Alive and kicking," Jean responds for you. "Pass them over, Floch." You open your mouth to
ask him for a favor, but he cuts you off. "Yeah, Logan, I'll get him."

Jean stands, leaving your side. You smile to yourself, letting your head fall back down against
whatever's cushioning the floor of the blimp. Of course he knows that you want to see Levi-
who doesn't know that by now? Your eyes flutter shut again.

The girl starts screaming again. "We true Eldians are going to curse you to your graves!" she
spits, her voice shrill. "And once you kill me, tell that to the ring leader behind all of this!"

Huh. She really hates you all that much?

"You... you don't even know us," you mumble.

You don't even know us.

"Are they still screaming in there?" Levi complains, glaring at the door. The noise level hasn't
died in the past minute. Are they really planning on celebrating now? The blimp's not even
out of Marley yet.
The door pushes open. Jean's standing in the doorway with two kids in front of him: a brown
haired girl with fire in her eyes and a blond boy that looks like he's been dragged through the
mud. The two of them are tied up and rumpled; they're both sporting the Eldian band around
their arms that he remembers seeing during their undercover trip to Marley.

Eldian kids? What now?

"Gabi, Falco," Zeke says in surprise from behind him. "Why are you here?"

"Why?" the blond boy musters. "What about you, sir?"

"You're still alive!" the girl says, evidently relieved. Levi narrows his eyes at her; there's
something about the girl- Gabi- that sets him on edge, despite her being just a child. "How
did you get captured by these devils?"

He just wants to go home and see you one last time before he has to go guard Zeke, dammit.

"Jean," Levi says, wondering if there's a quick solution for this, "who are these brats?"

Jean looks him dead in the eye, and Levi immediately straightens up. Something's not right.
"They killed Lobov and used his equipment to board the ship," he says, and it looks like he's
holding something back. "They..."

You. That's the only thing it could be.

"Jean," Levi snaps, already closing the distance between himself and the door.

"Captain, your orders are to stay with Zeke at all times, no exceptions," one of the military
officers protest, but Levi doesn't even bother sparing him a glare.

"The girl shot Logan," Jean says.

The girl shot Logan.

She shot you.

Levi's mind goes blank. He's not even focusing as he tosses a "Mikasa, watch Zeke" over his
shoulder, slipping past Jean to head to the door. It's like he's got tunnel vision, focused on
literally nothing but you. Out of all people, why were you the one that was shot? Actually, he
wouldn't be surprised if you took the bullet for someone else. That's something you would do.

It's almost comical how quickly the scouts shut up when he enters the room, door slamming
shut behind him. People scatter, moving to the edges of the blimp so that he can make a
beeline for you. His stomach twists: there's a lot of blood.

You don't see him right away- you're not facing the door. Mike is on your right, pressing
wads of bandages to what looks like your shoulder, where the bullet must've gone in. Connie
and Sasha are on your other side; Sasha is holding your hand as the two of them talk to you,
probably trying to keep you awake. Blood is pooling beneath you, way too much blood,
soaking Mike's knees and staining the floor of the blimp.
Fuck.

Levi storms over, dropping to the ground on your left side. Sasha and Connie back up
immediately, scrambling to get out of the way. "Hey," he says, hoping his voice isn't shaking
as much as his hands are.

You smile weakly, and he sees your eyes crinkle. "Hey yourself," you murmur.

You're too quiet- you sound way too quiet. You're louder than this. Levi grabs your hand,
your ring pressing into his palm, and his left hand rises to your face. "You're so stupid," Levi
mutters, his ring pressing into your cheek. "You took that bullet for someone, didn't you?"

"You know me so well," you rasp, squeezing his hand.

"It's my fault," Sasha says from behind him, and Levi can hear how her voice is shaking.
"Captain, the girl was aiming for me-"

You lift your head. "Shut up, Sasha," you grumble. "Enough... of that."

Levi sighs to himself. Honestly, he's just happy that you're feeling well enough to keep
talking. He looks up to Mike. "Well?"

Mike meets his eyes. "Just the shoulder," he says calmly, adjusting his hands on your wound.
"So I don't think it hit anything major. The bullet's still inside her, so it'll need to be taken out
when we land."

"Why not now?"

"Her blood loss is already bad enough." Levi's grip on your hand tightens as Mike continues.
"She's lost a lot. I don't want to put her at more risk until we can get her to proper doctors."

"Proper doctors," you muse from beneath him. "So... not Fizal."

Are you hallucinating? Levi doesn't have it in him to remind you that Fizal's dead. "What can
I do?" he asks, trying to keep himself calm.

As he feared, Mike shakes his head. "Nothing. It's her against blood loss, so it's all Logan's
battle."

Levi looks back to you, and the peace on your face sends shivers up his spine. "Hear that?"
he says, thumb brushing at your cheek. "It's all on you. I order you not to die. Got that?"

"Yes, sir," you mumble. Your eyes rise to meet his, and Levi finds himself lost in your eyes
for what must be the umpteenth time now. "You don't have to... to be so sappy," you joke.
"People will see."

His lips twitch involuntarily. "Let them see. I don't care."

He's not about to hold back on affection now just because you two are in front of a crowd of
scouts, all waiting anxiously to see if you're going to make it or not. Not when it's clear that
you need all the support you can get right now, and he'll be damned if he deprives you of that
just because he detests being affectionate in public.

Your eyes look like they're focused on something far away. "We're married," you murmur,
smiling stupidly.

Levi huffs, thumb brushing across your cheek again. "I know. I was there."

His chest is tightening. There's something so painful about this, not your injury but the
ramblings that are coming with it. It makes you sound almost delusional, like you're not
entirely there, and he's reminded of the day you woke up with no memories of anything that
had occurred to you.

Nearly ten years ago. How was that almost ten years ago?

Your eyes flutter shut, and he squeezes your palm- probably too hard, but he doesn't care.
"Oi. Eyes open."

"S'hard," you mumble.

"L. Eyes open before I glue them open."

Your eyelids flutter open just so you can roll your eyes, and Levi's lips twitch. "Yeah, yeah,"
you croak quietly. "Eyes open."

Levi's thumb brushes over your cheek. He can feel the puddle of blood hitting his knees, but
he refuses to move. There's something about your ramblings and the delusions that hurts his
heart more than any else he's ever experienced.

"Get going," you urge softly. "You have to... watch Zeke."

"...Yeah." Fuck these stupid missions. "Don't die."

You hum. "I know."

"I'll see you soon."

"Mhm. See you..." your voice trails off.

He waits.

You don't say anything else.

"Say it back," he orders, praying his voice doesn't crack. "Finish it."

Your lips part, and for a moment, no sound comes out. Levi's heart seizes painfully in his
chest until he hears you muster up, "see you soon."

Levi swallows hard, banishing the anxiety that's rising in his chest, and he leans in. He kisses
you on your forehead, uncaring of the people around him. Then, he rises, squeezing your
hand and feeling your ring press into his palm as a much needed reminder for himself. He
drops your hand and it falls to the deck, laying against your side.

There's nothing he can do for you; he knows that. The logical thing is to move to where he's
needed: guarding Zeke. But that's also the last damn thing Levi wants to do right now.

He turns. The crowd of scouts are watching him with wide eyes.

Levi shoots Floch the darkest glare he can muster- he knows full well that Floch is the ring
leader of this band of idiots, and no doubt the reason behind the celebratory commotion
earlier- before he turns on his heel and strides back towards the door. He doesn't look back,
because he knows if he does, he'll turn back without hesitation.

Levi pushes open the door, eyes glued to the floor, and closes it behind him. When he looks
up, everyone is staring at him.

Mikasa and Armin look fidgety. He understands; they're both close to you and want to know
if you're alright. Hange is a new presence to the room, emerging from the pilot's area, and
judging by the way they're looking at him, they've been filled in on the situation. Zeke's got
an amused look in his eyes, like the thought of you dying is funny to him, and Levi resists the
urge to put his blade straight between the man's eyes.

There's a few other military officers, watching apprehensively, and Jean is still holding both
of the kids. Eren is by the far the worst of all: he seems cautious, like he already knows
what's coming next.

"We don't know if she's going to make it," Levi forces out.

Saying the words makes it feel much too real, and it's like a gut punch to the stomach. Armin
doesn't wait any longer; he steps by Levi with Mikasa in tow, heading towards the door.

Levi turns to the young girl- Gabi. The one who shot you. Slowly, he pulls his blade out of its
case. No one moves to stop him, and he expects there wouldn't be much protest if he were to
slice her throat and let her bleed out on the deck.

He touches the point of the blade into her chest. "If she dies," Levi says, his voice icy calm,
"I'll kill you."

The girl doesn't bite back. She doesn't protest. Her eyes only widen in fear.

Next, Levi turns on Eren, and this time, he actually drives the point of the blade into Eren's
skin, digging it into his chest. "It's your fault we're here," he says lowly, narrowing his eyes at
the stupid man that he's seen so many good soldiers die for. "So it's your fault if she dies. I
don't care about any of your fucking plans- I'll kill you and you know damn well no one can
stop me."

Eren only stares at him, eyes unwavering. For someone that you were so close to once upon a
time, Eren doesn't seem to care about you at all.

"If she dies-"

Levi pauses. That doesn't feel like it quite conveys the gravity of his threat.

"If I lose her," he says, his voice dark and full of venom, "you won't live to see the sun come
up."

Eren stares at him for a moment. Then, his lips twitch.

The fucker smirks, and Levi's anger only grows. "You think this is funny?" Levi growls,
digging the blade into Eren's chest. "You think it's funny, being the reason one of your friends
is dying?"

Eren's smile fades. "If only she knew."

"If only she knew?" Levi repeats, and his vision is starting to go red. "The fuck do you mean
by that, you fucking-"

"Levi," Hange says softly.

He stops. Then, he pulls his blade away, sheathing it back into the scabbard. Eren hadn't even
flinched, and he doesn't even seem more relaxed by the absence of the sword. Levi crosses
his arms and glares down Zeke, wishing he could shoot fire from his eyes and burn the beast
titan to a crisp.

Zeke's eyes glint. "That's a hard glare, Levi. Don't you want to be with your wife?"

He does. So fucking badly, he does. But if he lets Zeke see how badly stressed out he is, it's
only going to bite him in the ass later.

"She'll live," Levi says shortly.

"You don't seem so sure," he muses.

He knows Zeke's only doing it to get under his skin. He knows that. If he thought he couldn't
handle it, then he would've taken off his ring. Taunting is fine. "I am," he says firmly. "And
for both of your sakes," Levi continues, eyes flickering to Eren, "you'd better hope she is
too."

Zeke's fake smile makes something in his stomach curl. "Then I'll pray for a speedy
recovery."

Levi clenches his hands into fists, then releases.

You'll be fine.

He twists the ring on his finger, the engraving rubbing at his skin. See you soon, he thinks to
himself. He'll see you soon.

He knows he will.

.
He's not allowed to wait in the hospital.

Not with such a high profile prisoner like Zeke. Not when Zeke's location is supposed to be
completely secret, not when he's not allowed to let Zeke out of his sight.

But Hange bent over backwards. They found a secluded room in the basement of a nearby
building, nothing more than a chair, and gave Levi permission to stay there with Zeke until it
could be confirmed that you were going to pull through. Levi didn't even have to say a word
to them; Hange arranged this all on their own.

He's never been more grateful to have Hange in his life.

Of course, the downside is that he's alone in a room with Zeke, who can't seem to stop
humming and making the most incessantly annoying comments. Asking how Levi's doing.
Wondering aloud if you're going to make it. Discussing the probability of you actually
making it. Wondering what Levi will do if you don't.

"You won't live to see another day," is Levi's response to that. But that's the only response he
dignifies Zeke with.

With every passing minute, he grows more anxious. He watched the doctors take you away,
loading you onto a stretcher, blood covering your clothes. Mike was trailing after you, hands
and knees covered in blood. He's grateful that Mike was there and ready to act; he doesn't
want to think about what would've happened if he wasn't.

He saw the puddle of blood on the floor of the blimp before he left. It was a lot.

"Imagine," Zeke muses, eyes glued to Levi. "Such a successful mission, such a great job. And
she dies because an ambitious child wanted some revenge."

Levi bites his tongue. He doesn't reply.

"How long's it been now, an hour? Two?" the man drawls, shifting in his place on the floor.
"You know that the longer we wait, the less likely it is that she'll survive."

He knows. He knows all too well.

Zeke's about to say something else when the door opens. Levi stands up immediately, looking
to the door, and Hange's there. Mike's next to them. Levi feels his heart slam mercilessly
against his ribs, and if Hange gives him the wrong news, he's going to slice Zeke's head
straight off of his shoulders.

"Levi," Hange says, beckoning towards him. "Mike's going to take over watch."

Levi nods, glancing at Mike as he steps into the room. "He so much as looks at you the
wrong way, put a bullet through his head," he says.

Mike's expression is dark. "You don't have to tell me twice."

Levi steps by Mike, heading out the door, and it closes behind him. He turns to Hange, eyes
wild with a desperate desire to know how you are and Hange grabs his shoulders and blurts
out, "she's stable."

He blinks.

"She's going to be fine," Hange says, grinning. "After plenty of rest and rehab, but she's
going to be fine. No permanent damage."

Levi nearly... sinks. His knees threaten to buckle underneath him, and his head is swimming.
Hange's gone fuzzy- his vision no longer cooperating. Relief is clouding his brain, and Levi
can't remember the last time he was ever so grateful for a piece of news. God, he feels like
he's going to collapse.

"Levi?"

He blinks himself out of his stupor. Hange's less fuzzy now. "I heard you," he says, his voice
clipped.

They nod, leaning back and letting go of his shoulders. "You can see her before you go," they
offer. "I assume you want to."

He nods. "I need a minute first."

Hange blinks, surprised. "Alright. I'll meet you in the lobby?"

"Yeah."

They nod, giving Levi one last lingering glance before they head back down the hallway and
towards the stairs. Levi waits until he can't hear their footsteps anymore before he follows. At
the top of the stairs, instead of following the hallway to the front foyer, he continues upwards.
He climbs the stairs until there's no more stairs left to climb, and then he finds a window.

Levi pushes himself outside of the building and climbs up onto the roof, collapsing against
the shingles. The sun's finally starting to come up, but there's still a few stars in the sky.

He sits frozen for a moment.

Then, Levi tucks his knees into his chest, and he buries his face in his hands. He forces
himself to exhale, but his breathing is shaky. He inhales, and the air feels like it's stinging his
chest. Everything feels too tight, too painful, but with every exhale, the tension releases- even
if only slightly.

You're okay. You're going to be fine.

And so, as he's curled up under the stars and the rising sun, Levi decides that he will be too.

You wake up in a hospital bed.

God, do you hate waking up in hospital beds.

"Take it easy," someone murmurs, and naturally, you do the opposite. Groaning, you push
yourself up to a seated position, blinking rapidly as you try to drag your brain back into a
state of coherence. The mattress is soft beneath your palms as you shove yourself up. The
light is stupidly bright and the room feels painfully warm.

You glance sideways. The speaker is a nurse, male with dirty blond hair and a cleanly shaven
face. You shove down the sheet covering you, revealing a hospital gown. Panicked, you blurt
out your name.

The nurse beside you pauses. "I'm sorry?"

"That's my name," you continue, eyes scouring your room. Nothing that looks familiar.
"That's- that's my name. I'm married to Levi Ackerman-" immediately you look for your ring
and you breathe a sigh of relief when you see it's there- "and I'm in the Survey Corps, we just
invaded Marley and while we were retreating I got shot-"

"Breathe," the man encourages.

It's only because you've run out of air do you actually listen. You pause, inhaling shakily until
you cough, expelling everything from your lungs.

"Well," he continues, glancing at his papers, "I guess that answers my question if you
remember what happened or not."

"Sorry," you mutter, suddenly embarrassed. "I- I don't know where that came from."

"That's fine." He flips a sheet. "You were shot and you lost a lot of blood. The bullet didn't hit
anything major, but if it wasn't for the people who put pressure on the wound, you would've
bled out. We got the bullet out after you landed and you've been resting ever since."

You blink. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long since the scouts got back?"

"About seven hours."

Seven hours. People have been home for seven hours.

You go to speak, and another cough rips itself from your lungs instead. The nurse reaches
down to a cart and hands you an open water bottle; you take it and nearly chug the whole
thing. "Be careful," he chides. "You really should be limiting your mobility with that arm."

The arm in question, which had been starting to rise, falls back to the bed. You can feel the
stiffness in it, the pain from being shot.

"But I'm okay now?" you force out. "Nothing permanent?"

He nods. "You've had about half a dozen doctors come through here since they brought you
in at the insistence of the commander and your husband. You're going to be confined to your
bed for at least another few days just to recover from the blood loss, and we'll give you a
sling for your arm so that you don't use it. That should help you heal- you'll only need it for a
few weeks."

Your shoulders relax. The insistence of Hange and Levi- of course.

"So they know I'm fine?" you push.

The nurse nods again. "Yes. We told them as soon as you stabilized. I, uh..." he trails off, eyes
slipping to his cart and then back to you. "Your husband left you a letter," he says. "Anyone
could tell he wanted to be here in person, though."

"Oh, that's fine," you brush off immediately. You know he's going to be glued to Zeke for the
next while and they should've been moved to a secure location by now with a full squad; you
weren't anticipating seeing him after returning from the invasion anyways. Hopefully you're
not separated from him for too long. "Where's the letter?"

"Here." He reaches back for the cart, grabbing a folded piece of paper, and he hands it to you.
"I'll go inform the others that you've woken up," he says, standing up. "You've got a lot of
visitors."

"Thank you," you murmur, already unfolding the page.

He leaves, shutting the door behind him, and you carefully hold out the paper in front of you.
You recognize Levi's messy scrawl and it immediately makes you smile.

Wish I could be there for when you woke up. Sorry I wasn't.

"You idiot," you muse to yourself, smiling. There's nothing to apologize for. You let the paper
fall open into your lap so that you can fidget with your wedding ring.

Don't do anything stupid. Relax and drink tea. You're not needed anytime soon so rest up for
when you are. Take care of the kids.

Take care of the kids? That makes you sound like parents.

"Well, sure feels like it sometimes," you murmur to yourself, lips twitching. It certainly does
feel like you have to play the mom friend to your squad sometimes.

The last line makes the engraving in the ring feel like it's burning.

See you soon.

Sighing softly, you raise your left hand to your mouth, smiling as you kiss your ring. Levi
and all of your friends are alright, which is all you ever wanted. It hurts that Levi is on his
own mission right now, but you know it's necessary and that if he had any other choice, he'd
be with you.
"See you soon," you murmur against your ring.

The door slams open and you jerk your head up.

"Logan, sweetheart," Hange says, obviously relieved, and you can't help but grin. "You can't
scare me like that!"

Hange's the first to visit you- upon specific request by them, of course. They give you a quick
rundown on the after math of the battle: five dead total and you were the only one severely
wounded. Levi's gone off to an undisclosed location to guard Zeke, along with a squad of
over a dozen soldiers. The mission was a complete success, with the success retrieval of Eren
and Zeke. The two kids who boarded and shot you have been locked up.

Eren's since been imprisoned for disobeying orders and insubordination- although Hange's
not sure what they're going to do with him now. "It feels like he has his own agenda," they
say, sighing. "I just wish he'd share."

You nod along. "I'm just glad everyone's okay," you admit.

"We're so glad you're okay," Hange says with a weak smile. You miss their enthusiasm; it
feels like being commander has drained Hange of all of their usual vigor. Or maybe it was
losing Moblit. Either or.

"Happy to be okay," you say with a shrug. The action makes your shoulder ache. "When did
Levi leave?"

"Only after finding out you were going to pull through," they report, glancing at the letter that
you've since relocated to the side table. "Five, six hours ago."

You nod, and your voice drops. "Hange," you urge softly. "You know you can tell me where
he is." Hange immediately sighs and you continue on. "C'mon, Hange, it's me. It's- it's Levi.
Why would I ever give that location up?"

"There's a lot of unrest right now," they say, shaking their head. "It's not wise."

"Hange," you say with a sigh. "He's my husband."

"Which is why..."

They trail off, and the answer comes to you. "He asked you not to tell me," you conclude,
gathering the top sheet into your fists as you bundle your fingers in towards your palms.
"Didn't he?"

Hange meets your eyes, and you groan as you look away. "He did," they admit, "but even if
he hadn't asked, I never would've. If there's any chance of some sort of... oh, I don't know.
But I can't risk you knowing his location."

"Hange-"
"I am not," the commander says firmly, "putting you in any position where you might get
tortured again, and Levi agrees with me."

Oh. You hadn't thought about it like that.

You swallow hard, and you nod. "Alright," you say, shoulders dropping. "...Thank you."

Hange smiles thinly. "It's fine. I'm the only one who knows where he is and he's got enough
supplies to last him and that squad over a month. If I ever send a messenger, I'll tell them
where to go and make sure they stay with him."

"Right," you say hollowly. "Okay."

They sigh softly, running a hand through their hair to pull it out of their face. "Logan," they
begin, and your shoulders rise, "I got mission reports from the other captains on the mission."

You frown. "Sorry? I've been kind of..." You gesture aimlessly with your good arm. "Busy."

"Oh! No, no, Logan, that's fine," Hange says, waving you off. "It'd be stupid of me to try and
get a report from you. That's not what I meant." Their gaze drops. "What I meant was that...
well..."

"What?"

"Jean mentioned you were reckless."

You blink. "What?" you repeat.

Hange's gaze is unwavering. "There are reports of you making some dangerous decisions on
the battlefield that put you in harm's way. Jean mentioned some... excessive taunting of both
the cart and jaw titan- and even Zeke."

You're flabbergasted for a moment, but then you collect yourself. You lock your jaw. "I was
doing my job," you protest. "You said to keep them busy. I did. I never put my squad in any
unnecessary danger-"

"You were laughing, Logan," Hange says gently. They hold up two hands, like they're trying
to make it clear they're not attacking you. "Reports of you laughing as you taunted them. And
don't blame Jean- he wasn't the only one that told me."

"And?" you say. It doesn't matter if Hange's not trying to attack you- you're getting defensive
anyways. "I did my job. There was no unnecessary injuries caused by either of those two
titans because I kept them occupied so Levi could make his kill. As far as I'm concerned, I
did my job and I did it damn well."

Their gaze doesn't drop. "What about the kid?"

"The kid?"

"You jumped to defend a Marleyan kid and nearly got yourself shot."
Shit. You grit your teeth together, fingers on your good hand digging into the sheet covering
your legs. "I'm sorry that I didn't want a kid to die," you snap, voice dripping in venom.
"Next time I'll just let him-"

"Hey."

Hange's tone is firm, and you snap your jaw shut.

"I'm not attacking you," Hange says, reiterating what they were trying to tell you earlier. "I'm
not upset with you. I'm just trying to understand what happened and what was going through
your head, considering that one of the newer scouts recounted your behavior as 'insane'."

"Insane? I-"

"You're not being attacked, Logan."

You stop yourself, then squeeze your eyes shut and force yourself to relax. You're not being
attacked; Hange's just interested. That's it. "I got lucky," you admit. "That the man didn't
shoot me. But I wasn't about to let the kid die."

"Why not?"

"Well, he-"

You pause. Why not? They're all Marleyans, right? All of them are against you. What was
your rationale? How did you argue it to yourself? What possessed you to put yourself at risk
for a kid on the other side of the battle?

You shrug with your good shoulder. "We killed a lot of people yesterday, Hange. Lots of
soldiers who wouldn't have hesitated to shoot at us. We did that in our war against Marley
and for our battle. I did that to save my friends and reduce the risk that any of the scouts
would suffer any injuries. But that kid- he has nothing to do with that. He was unarmed and
panicked. My battle's not with him. Although..." you sigh, glancing at your sling. "I guess
some kids are dangerous anyways."

Hange's good eye is staring at you with curiosity. You stiffen up, prepared to defend yourself
again. "You could've let the cart titan fall and allowed those with the thunder spears to finish
it off," they say softly.

"...Yeah. I could've."

"Why not?"

You struggle with the words, then sigh. "You know why."

They sigh softly. "I'm worried about you," Hange says, which makes you shift uncomfortably
in your spot. "We haven't had to fight titans in three years. Most people would consider that a
blessing, but you seem like you missed it. We don't have anybody excited to go into battle
quite like you, Logan."
You force yourself to shrug. What are you supposed to say to that?

"I want you to stay in the hospital until I clear you." You bristle at that, but the commander
forges on. "I'm only doing this because I think the extra time to heal in here would be good
for you. I promise you that I'll come get you as soon as we have a concrete mission that you
can assist with, provided that you're fit and healthy."

You want to argue, but you know it's better not to. Instead, you swallow your complaints and
nod.

They take your hand and squeeze it lightly. "You've got a lot of people who want to see you,"
they say. "Can I send them in?"

You nod. "Yeah. Go for it."

From there, they come in waves. First up (predictably) are Sasha, Connie, and Jean. Sasha
nearly bursts into tears as she's thanking you, blubbering on about how happy she is that
you're alive, and Connie needs to pry her away from you so that she doesn't tackle you and
make your injury worse. Connie and Jean both express their relief with seeing you doing well
too, which is nice to see.

Jean eyes you warily the whole time. He's the one who talked to Hange about your behavior,
and as easy as it would be to be pissed at him, you know he only did it because he was
worried about you. You don't bring it up, and neither does he.

Following them are Mikasa and Armin. Armin's smiling for the first time in a while, which is
nice to see, and Mikasa's relaxed- a very unusual state for her to be in, if you remember
properly. They don't stay long, but Armin promises you that he'll come back and update you
with anything happening within the military concerning Eren.

Next is Mike. As soon as he sits down, you blurt out, "thank you. The doctor said I wouldn't
have survived without you."

He gives you a genuine smile. "Consider my debt repaid."

He doesn't stay very long- Mike's conversations are normally quite clipped and to the point-
but he does confirm with you that he's officially out for the count. Apparently, he considered
staying on as an advisor of sorts, but ultimately decided against it. In Mike's words, his
expertise was limited to the island, not so much against enemy defenders from who knows
where.

"So you're retired," you had joked before he left.

"One of the first scouts in history to willingly retire," Mike says dryly.

The fourth round of visitors is someone you don't know.

When the door opens, you immediately stiffen up, because the man reminds you way too
much of Willem. He's wearing a black suit with a hat, hair neatly combed underneath. You
force yourself to relax: there's no manic gleam in his eyes, no gritted teeth, no rush to his
movements.

He steps through the door and shuts it; he's alone. You ball your hands into fists, ready to
move if need be. "Should I know you?" you ask carefully.

"You wouldn't," he says with a shake of his head. "I'm Sasha's father."

Immediately, your shoulders relax. "Oh," you say in surprise. "Mr. Braus. Hi. I'm-"

"Artur, please. I know who you are," Sasha's father replies, giving you a small smile. "Sasha
speaks quite highly of you. I've always wanted to meet the woman who inspired by daughter
so much."

"Oh," you squeak out. "That's- that's kind of you."

Your cheeks are warm from the praise, and Mr. Braus- Artur- chuckles. "Well, she did
mention that you were humble," he says. "I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank you
in person. I was told you saved her life."

Your tongue feels thick in your throat. "Of course," you reply, trying to think of what to say.
"I- I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Of that, I have no doubt."

Artur quiets for a moment, and you're struggling with what to you say, so you decide to just
be honest. "Sasha's one of my best friends," you say quietly, casting your eyes downward.
"Losing her would be like losing a piece of myself, and I- I can't imagine what that loss
would be for you."

He nods slowly. "If you ever need anything," he says gently. "Anything, ever. Please don't
hesitate to ask."

"Of course. Thank you so much, sir."

He nods again, then heads back towards the door. "It was wonderful to finally meet you,
Logan," Artur says, tipping his hat at you.

Then the door is closed, and he's gone.

You stay seated for a moment, staring aimlessly at the last spot Artur Braus had stood in.
Then, you slowly lower yourself back into the hospital bed so that you can stare up at the
ceiling.

Parents, huh?

Your only experience with parents has been a dead mother that you don't remember and a
psychopathic father whose only desire was to kill you. Admittedly, not the greatest stage to
base all parents off of, but, well... you'd never really met anyone that made you think
otherwise.
Levi talked about his mother once. Or at least, what he remembers of her. He says he
remembers her being warm and kind, but it was so long ago that he doesn't have specifics.
Then, enter his uncle Kenny, and "the shit show takes off from there", as Levi had so
eloquently put it.

Eren's mom was eaten by a titan, and his father was the crazy dude who turned him into a
titan. Historia's mother was a mistress and her father tried to convince her to eat Eren and
turned into a titan that could've killed an entire town of people. Neither of their parents are
about to win any father-of-the-year awards.

It strikes you; you've really never seen a stable father figure before.

At least, not until Artur Braus.

"Refreshing," you muse to yourself, smiling up at the ceiling. There are good fathers in the
world after all.

Your eyes flutter shut. Despite not even moving from your bed, you feel drained- maybe it's
all of the socialization. Well, the doctors had mentioned strict bed rest, so... maybe sleeping
for a while wouldn't be a bad thing.

You've nearly fallen asleep when there's another knock on the door.

Stifling your groan, you shove yourself up to a sitting position. "Come in," you croak out,
surprised at how dry your throat is.

The door slowly creaks open, and to your surprise, it's Connie.

"Connie?" you say, eyebrows rising.

He gives you a small wave. "Hey," he says, glancing back down the hallway and then back
over to you. "I know I said hi earlier- I'm just here with someone that wanted to see you.
They wouldn't let him in without, well, an escort, so I..." he trails off, shrugging.

An escort? Who the hell would they...

Another man shuffles into view. He's wearing a black suit and tie and he's got shaggy blond
hair falling to the sides of his head. He looks like he's nervous but trying to compose himself-
hardly someone that would be a threat to you. He's fidgeting with the edges of his jacket
sleeves.

Wait... he looks familiar. You've seen him before.

"Do I know you?" you say hesitantly. "You seem familiar."

The blond glances at Connie, and Connie nods. "I'll, uh... I'll leave you to it," he say
awkwardly.

He shuts the door behind him, leaving you alone in the room with the blond man. If Connie
trusts him enough to leave you alone in a room with him, then there shouldn't be any danger-
especially not with the way he's fidgeting. He definitely seems familiar, but you can't place a
name. What kind of person needed an escort? Who would people be wary of...

"Marleyan," you conclude softly. "You're one of the Marleyans."

His eyebrows narrow, like he's not sure how you're going to proceed with that information.

You shake your head quickly. "No, I'm... I'm not going to hate you," you say awkwardly.
"You haven't- you haven't killed anyone or hurt someone here, have you? I don't think any of
you- I mean, you Marleyans that are staying here- I don't think any of you have."

He shakes his head slowly. "No. Don't apologize, I'm inclined to hate you too," he adds,
turning his head so he doesn't have to look at you.

His voice. Ah, you recognize him now. "You're a chef," you say, pointing at him.

The man's eyebrows rise. "You do recognize me."

"Yeah. You- You're one of the chefs that works near the port," you continue, rubbing the side
of your head as you try to place him. "You make really good seafood," you say, smiling as
you remember one of the times that you'd eaten that type of food with your squad. Sasha had
been in heaven- wouldn't stop raving about it for days.

He nods. "My name's Niccolo."

"Niccolo," you repeat. "Nice to meet you."

"I, uh..." he trails off, avoiding eye contact with you. Whatever he wants to say, it's clearly
uncomfortable for him. "Sasha," he starts, and it's starting to become more clear why Niccolo
is here. "She enjoys my food. And it's because of her that... that I'm no longer in this war
between Eldia and Marley. She taught me that my cooking skills should be used to make
people happy. So..."

Niccolo trails off again. You wait.

"As thanks for saving her, I'd like to cook for you and your husband sometime," the blond
finishes.

You blink, surprised. "What?"

He pauses. "If- if you'd let me."

"Niccolo, I..." Your jaw hangs open for a moment. Then, you collect yourself. "That's kind,"
you murmur. "But you don't have to."

"I want to," Niccolo confirms, meeting your gaze with firm eyes. "I wouldn't be who I am
today without Sasha. She means a lot to me."

Your heart melts in your chest. Is he in love with her? The sincerity in his tone makes you
think so. To think Sasha found someone that loves her and that someone is a chef? What are
the odds? She deserves it- Sasha, one of the happiest and most optimistic people you'll ever
know, deserves it.

"I'd like that," you reply, and Niccolo's shoulders drop in relief. "Thank you."

"Okay." He raises an hand to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "Good," he says abruptly.
"Send me a letter to let me know when. Just give me some advance notice so I can set a meal
up."

"Okay," you agree.

He stares at you for another moment. Then, he nods and he stands up. Niccolo gives you one
last look before he moves to open the door. Connie's standing behind it, and he does a quick
survey of the room before he grins. "Nothing broken! Not bad, Niccolo."

The blond scowls. "Connie," you call, "can you stay for a minute?"

"Sure," he agrees. Niccolo steps past him and closes the door on his way. Connie double
checks the handle, making sure the door is shut, before he turns back to you. "What's up,
Logan?"

"What happened to the kids?"

"Oh, the ones who shot you?" You nod. "They're locked up."

"Where?"

Connie shrugs. "Dunno. Not too far from here, I think. Why?"

You pinch your lips together. "I need you to help me break out of here so that I can go visit
them."

There's a pause.

Eventually, Connie forces out, "seriously?"

You nod. "Yeah."

"What for? Why would you-" The color leaves his face. "You're not going to go kill them, are
you?"

"God, no," you say in surprise, shaking your head. "They're kids. I just want to talk to them."

"Talk to them?" Connie repeats, eyes wide. "We already tried asking them a few questions,
but the girl just kept screaming at us. You're not going to get much information out of them-
at least, not stuff we don't already know."

"Connie."

"What?"
"Do you trust me?"

"Obviously," he says with a huff. He sees the determination in your gaze, and you can
pinpoint the second he relents. Connie's shoulders roll back as he sighs. "Logan," he scolds,
"you're supposed to be on bedrest. No one's going to let you out-"

"Exactly," you agree, cutting him off, "which is why I need help."

Connie shakes his head slowly. "Captain will kill me."

"I'm coming straight back," you protest, grip tightening around the sheet. "Seriously. I'll stay
in this damn hospital room for a full damn month afterwards, I just- please. I've accepted that
I'm going to be on bed rest for who knows how long, so- so I just want this one thing. Just
this one time."

He doesn't reply. His eyes are wary.

You sigh, playing your final card. "If you don't help me," you warn, "I'm going anyways. I'll
probably get myself hurt trying to do it."

"...Fine," Connie says, and you grin. "Fine. But only because you'll do it regardless."

"Thank you," you say cheerily. "I owe you one."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbles, heading towards the door. "You're lucky we're friends," he throws
over his shoulder as he leaves.

You beam. "Love you too!"

The door closes. Sighing happily, you lay yourself down, letting your head sink into the
pillow. Hopefully, that's it for visitors and you can sleep for a bit until Connie comes back
tonight to help break you out.

Maybe Hange was onto something. Maybe you enjoy the action a bit too much and there's
actually something buried deep within you that explains why that is. Maybe spending a shit
ton of time on bed rest will help. When has listening to Hange ever hurt you?

Fine. One last trip outside, and then rest.

Your head is against the pillow for maybe thirty seconds before you're fast asleep.

Connie stays true to his word, and he comes back in the evening. It really doesn't take much;
he helps ease you out the window of your hospital room where a horse is waiting for you,
gives you directions and then instructions not to take too long, and closes the window behind
you. It's tricky (and painful) to try and get yourself up onto the horse, but you make do.

It takes about five minutes to get to the prison where Connie claimed the two were being
held. You tie your horse off at one of the posts and stroll inside, eyes open for any soldiers.
It's the middle of the night, so there's not as much security- at least, that's your theory as to
why there's only one guy at the front when you head inside. "Hi," you say briskly. "I'm here
to visit the two kids you guys brought in?"

The guy looks up. "Logan?" he says in surprise.

"Hi," you repeat with a forced smile. "Which way?"

"Didn't you get shot?"

You bite back your groan. "Yeah. It sucked. Can you show me which way to go?"

The man nods, standing up from his place behind the desk. "Not sure why you'd wanna see
the kid that shot you, but I'm not gonna fight you on it. You're not planning on killing 'em, are
you?" You shake your head. "Not that it would be a loss. Alright, through here."

"Thank you," you say gratefully. "I won't be long."

He shrugs. "Sure. I'm just down the hall, shout if you need me."

He heads back down the hallway, leaving you alone by the cells. You glance down the
hallway and see a set of hands holding onto the cell bars; they look like the hands of a child.
You step down the hall, coming to a stop outside the cell.

It's the blond boy. The one that you saved.

His eyes widen when he sees you. "It's you," he says, almost in awe. "The one- the one Gabi
shot. You lived after all."

A head whips up in the cell next to his, and you spare a glance over. Sure enough, it's the girl:
Gabi. She's sitting on the ground, refusing the use of her bed, and she was curled up and
facing the wall until the blond boy spoke. Her hair is matted down against her head and her
eyes are wide; you can't tell if it's surprise or disdain.

"Yep," you confirm. "Sorry. Not dead."

"That's..." the blond sighs. "That's good."

"Good?" Gabi spits, refusing to move from her spot at the back of her cell. Good- she can
stay there. "How can you say that, Falco? She's the enemy."

"As spirited as I remember," you say dryly.

Gabi's neck snaps up. "Get back, Falco! She's here to kill us."

The blond- Falco- suddenly backs away from the cell bars. You laugh, moving until your
back is against the wall and slumping down until you're seated on the ground. "No," you say,
fingers reaching down to fumble with a stray stone. "I'm not."
Falco pauses. He looks curious, a stark contrast to the enraged look on Gabi's face. "Then
why are you here?" he asks.

You shrug. "Not sure."

"Don't listen to her," Gabi snarls. "She's-"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," you snap. "Shut up."

"Never! You Eldian scum are disgraces to the world, you-"

Your fingers close around that stray rock by your hip and you whip it forward. Your accuracy
surprises you: the rock goes between the bars and strikes the wall near Gabi's head. You'd just
been looking to hit the bars and maybe rattle her, but that works too.

"If you don't shut up," you warn, "then I will kill you, and I don't think anyone would try and
stop me."

It's an empty threat, but it does the job. Finally, Gabi doesn't reply. Her eyes narrow, but she
doesn't open her mouth.

"Thank you," you say with a roll of your eyes.

"So, uh..." Falco trails off. He moves towards the bars, sitting down in front of them. He
seems wary, like he's still scared of you- good. He'd be much too naïve if he was comfortable
around you already. "If you're not here to kill us, then why are you here?"

You shrug again. "I think I'm just trying to understand you."

"Understand us?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Still working on that," you confess.

Falco swallows hard. "You saved me," he admits. Ah- so he does remember you. "When you
were trying to- to take down Miss Pieck. You covered me from the explosion." You nod
along. Falco looks away from you. "Why?"

"You weren't my target," you reply.

"But- but I'm a Marleyan."

"So?"

"What do you mean, so?" Gabi snaps, breaking her vow of silence. You sigh, tipping your
head back against the wall. "You're an Eldian. You've been threatening war against Marley
and us, the true Eldians, for centuries."
You sigh. "We didn't even know you guys existed until four years ago."

Finally, you get a look of surprise from the both of them. "Really?" Falco whispers, eyes
wide.

"How?" Gabi blurts out. "Didn't Reiner attack ten years ago?"

"Sure," you agree, a queasy feeling building up in your stomach at the mention of Reiner.
"But we had no idea who he was. We just thought they were abnormal titans. We never
expected there was a whole other nation of people sending the titans to get us."

"Then- then where did you think they were coming from?"

"We never did enough damage to them until recently to find out."

Falco leans away from you, bewildered. Gabi turns her head back to glare at the back wall,
deciding that she's got nothing else to say.

"I don't get it," you murmur. "I'm trying to understand, but... why do you hate us so much?"

"You Eldian devils have-"

"Not Eldians," you interrupt. "Me. Why do you hate me?"

Gabi pauses. "Well, you're an Eldian, and you-"

"Anything besides a term I didn't know existed until recently," you say dryly, cutting her off
before she goes on another spiel. "What did I ever do to you?"

Neither of them speak.

Right then. So it's nothing personal; these kids have grown up hating you simply because
they were told to. Falco seems a bit more open minded. His eyes are wide and he's absorbing
what you're saying rather than immediately rebuking it like Gabi is.

With Gabi, it seems like her hatred for you is so deeply ingrained that there's really nothing
you can say or do that would change her mind. A hatred and burning passion that runs so
deep until the person is lost in their own rage... huh. That reminds you of someone.

"I wasn't aiming for you."

You look up to Gabi. "Hm?"

"I wasn't aiming for you," Gabi repeats, fire reigniting in her eyes. "I was aiming for the
brown-haired girl. She shot people right in front of me, someone who was important to me.
She killed us- I was returning the favor. She should be dead, and I won't stop until I kill her."

Sasha.
Your shoulders rise; looks like this girl still has plenty of her anger for Eldians focused on
Sasha.

At this point, you're kind of having fun fucking with them, so you force yourself to shrug.
"Fine. How many people would you say she killed?"

"You devils don't keep score?" she snarls.

"Alright. Four?" you suggest, deciding not to humor her. Gabi's eyes flash. "You know what?
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. We'll double it. No- we'll triple it. Say she killed a
dozen."

"What does it matter?" Gabi demands. "She's a foul, evil murderer-"

"Oh?" you snap, leaning forwards. "And how many do you think Reiner killed?"

Another pause.

You love startling the two of them like this. Maybe it's just stupidly petty of you, being
excited for getting the upper hand on a pair of kids. But you can't help the adrenaline that's
running through your veins.

"That girl you tried to shoot," you say venomously, finally letting some anger into your tone,
"is one of the most optimistic, friendly women I've ever known. And I've got no doubt you
see Reiner the same way- as someone you can look up to, someone who seems noble. And he
killed thousands! Men, women, and children, including Eren Jaeger's mother-"

Falco inhales sharply. He's made some sort of connection.

"And he's killed so many damn people," you say angrily, trying to control yourself.
"Thousands. Even more in collateral. But I guess it doesn't matter because we're Eldians,
right?"

"Right," Gabi sneers immediately. "You devils deserve death."

God. There's no getting through to her, is there?

You sigh, finally giving up. "Yeah," you say, dropping your head back against the wall. "I
guess that's it then." You glance back to Falco, who hasn't said a word in a while. "Falco,
right?" you ask, realizing you never confirmed names. He nods. "You can call me Logan,"
you say, "if we ever meet again."

He nods slowly, lost of what to say.

You glance at Gabi. "I've seen what that much hatred can do to a person," you warn, thinking
of your father. "It never turns out well."

You push yourself to your feet, cast one last disappointed look at Gabi, and then head back
down the hallway.
.

You keep your promise to Connie and you listen to Hange. After your prison excursion, you
take it easy.

You eat the food they tell you to eat. You sleep when they tell you to sleep. You take all the
meds the doctors feed you and you do all of the physio exercises that they tell you to try. You
don't argue and you let the doctors do their thing. You're a model patient.

You're so obedient that Hange actually visits you to ask if you're feeling well mentally,
despite them being the one to give you the orders in the first place.

It's fine. You'd promised you'd be an ideal patient and that you'd heal properly; you're going
to be needed for the next battle, whenever that is.

But god, is this sling ever annoying.

Admittedly, letting your arm sit in something and just relax isn't all that bad. Besides, the
sling is nice for concealing things: you can tuck in at least two knives, no problem. You
wonder how many you could hide before someone would notice- maybe three or four.

You'd been bored, so you had Jean pin up a board on the back of the hospital room door.
When no one's around, you toss knives at it.

(You nearly take off a doctor's head once. But it was only once! That's not bad.)

Hange visits you and gives you updates on what's going on in the world. There's a lot of
questions and concerns surrounding the anti-Marleyan volunteers, some of which are
suspected of being in cahoots with Eren. Eren's plans are unknown to all and he's not talking
to anyone, so the military's got no idea whether to treat him as an ally or a threat.

"How're you feeling?" Hange asks every time they visit you. "Thinking about battle?"

Every time, you shrug. "I'll come in whenever you need me."

Time goes by. You work on strengthening yourself and let yourself trust in Hange, that they'll
call you when you're needed and not a second later.

Every night, you make sure you sit by the window at least for a minute and watch the stars.
You always fiddle with your moon necklace as you do. You miss Levi, more and more with
every day that passes, but you know he's out there, watching the same sky that you are.

You miss him. You'll see him soon.

To your surprise, Mike visits you frequently- at least once every few days. He's officially
retired now, but he's still active as a teacher for new cadets. You admire him for it. When he
visits you, he brings tea (apparently Levi told him you enjoy it) and you two sit for a while
and he lets you chatter away. Mike isn't much of a talker, but he listens well, and he chimes in
occasionally so that you don't feel like you're boring him.
One day, he changes up the drink.

"Wine?" you say with a grin. "What's the occasion?"

"Finally off your antibiotics, yes?" Mike asks, and you nod. "That's the occasion."

Your grin widens. "Careful, or Levi might think you're trying to pull something."

Mike snorts. "I don't have a death wish."

You laugh as he uncorks the bottle, then brings it up to his nose. He sniffs, inhaling the scent
of the wine. "Smell good?" you ask, still smiling. "Don't they all smell the same?"

"Ours do," he agrees. "There's something off about the Marleyan wine."

"Off?"

"Mm." Mike starts pouring. "Was in a meeting with most of the higher ups. They've got a
thing for the Marleyan wine, but something doesn't smell right about it. I passed on it. This is
wine made from somewhere within Wall Rose."

"Huh." He hands you the glass and you bring it into your chest, suddenly a bit more cautious.
"You think it's just an area thing? Like they put something different in their wine for a new
flavor?"

He shrugs, pouring himself a glass. "Either way, it doesn't smell natural. Must taste the same,
seeing as how they go through several bottles a week."

You laugh. "That's the military for you."

"I'll cheers to that," Mike agrees, and you clink your glass against his.

Your chatter starts up again. You ask him a lot about his job and how the cadets are, how he
enjoys teaching. Mike speaks fondly of it, and he makes it sound much more appealing than
you're sure it is. You remember how much of a hassle you and your friends were back in your
training days; you don't think you'd want to deal with that as an instructor.

You're about to ask him who some of the most troublesome kids are when the door to your
hospital room flies open. Both you and Mike turn to the doorway; Hange's standing there, out
of breath.

"Hange?" you say in surprise.

"Zackly's been assassinated," they say.

You blink. "He's dead?"

Hange nods. "And Eren's escaped."

You glance to Mike, whose only reaction is a slight raise of his eyebrows. Eren escaped?
Well, it was only a matter of time, but...

The commander meets your eyes. "We need you."

You grin. "I'm in."

"I need another drink," Mike mutters.

Levi feels like he's growing grey hair.

Every day he spends with Zeke seems to age him by a year. It's been long enough now that
the rest of the troops have let their guard down, convinced that Zeke really isn't going
anywhere. Levi's not convinced; he knows that Zeke has something up his sleeve and the
moment his guard is down, something's going to go wrong.

Zeke's annoying as hell too, which doesn't help. And he knows exactly how to get under
Levi's skin: by talking about you.

"You still haven't told me how you met," the blond man says casually, raising a hand to adjust
his glasses.

Levi, as usual, doesn't reply.

"Well, I'm sure you had the ladies flocking to you in droves," Zeke continues, closing his
book. "So she must've stood out."

God, he can't wait until he's allowed to kill him.

Zeke's eyes narrow. "You know, Reiner and Bertolt told me a bit about her. They said she had
amnesia or something like that." Levi stiffens slightly; this is the first time Zeke's brought up
your memory loss. "So, did she meet you before or after that?"

He curls his hands into fists, then forces himself to relax.

"Before, probably," Zeke muses. "Must've been painful, trying to get her to remember."

"Where're you going with this," Levi says, a grit to his tone.

He shrugs. "Just trying to understand you more, Levi. We've been here for, what, a month?
And I feel like I've only scratched the surface."

"Take what you're going to get, because you're not getting any more than that."

"Aw, Levi. No need to be rude."

When Levi doesn't reply, Zeke finally gives up. He turns himself on his side, getting ready to
sleep for the night, and Levi presses a palm to his forehead, sighing.
 How much longer does he have to do this?

Levi lets his head tip back, glaring at the miniscule amount of stars poking through the leaves
of the giant trees. He knows you're fine, wherever you are, and hopefully, you're back on your
feet. He can feel it, feel it deep within his chest- he'll see you soon.

He just hopes it's under good circumstances.

Chapter End Notes

Thank you to those of you who bore with me during my little '44/45' joke. Sorry. Kinda.
;)

Also- zombie apocalypse was the big winner for my next fic idea. Brainstorming is
already in process! You can expect the first chapter out before this one wraps up in five
weeks. Damn- only five weeks left?? Crazy how time flies.

As usual, I love you guys. Thank you for all you do. <3
 4-4
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Hange fills you in on your way to the horses.

There was a bomb planted in Zackly's office that killed him and several other officers. People
were rioting, demanding that Eren be released as he was the best choice for 'Eldia's
salvation'- but then they discovered that Eren had escaped anyways and dozens of Survey
Corps were missing. Hange rattled off names, but the only one you recognized was Floch,
which just made you irrationally angry.

Hange told you that they call themselves the "Jaegerists". People who support Eren and
whatever his plan may be without question.

Since when did Eren become so separated from everyone else? He was so normal, still
friendly and loud, albeit a bit more reserved- and then he was gone to Marley, enacting his
own plan with no guarantee that the Survey Corps would even follow it.

You should've noticed. You should've realized something.

When you get to the horses, the rest of your squad is already there. Everyone's wearing the
long green Survey Corps coats and you feel severely underdressed (you're in comfy loose
pants and a long sleeved shirt) until Mikasa hands you a spare coat. "Thanks," you murmur,
taking it from her.

She nods. "Glad you're back."

"Here, let me help," Sasha says quickly. She steps over to you and helps you pull the sling out
from around your neck so that you can get the jacket on. Her eyes widen. "Logan, what's in
here?"

You shrug as Hange helps you jam your arms through the sleeves. "Knives."

"Knives?" Jean says in surprise. "Why?"

"Why not?"

"Do you even need to sling anymore?" Armin asks, watching as you do up the buttons of
your coat. "Aren't you healed?"

"Just about," you agree as Sasha helps you settle your arm back into its cozy resting place,
reattaching the sling now that your jacket is on. "It's a great hiding spot for weapons though.
And if people still think I'm injured then maybe they won't take me as seriously."

Connie snorts. "Only a dumbass would do that."

You roll your eyes, using your good arm to adjust the positions of your blades in your sling.
"Fine. Whatever," you say, stepping up onto a crate so that you can swing yourself up onto
your horse. "So where to? Off to question some Marleyans?"

Hange nods. "Yeah. We're going to..." They turn to glance at Sasha. "Why don't you tell her
on the ride?"

Ah- time is of the essence. "Let's go, then," you suggest.

Armin leads the group, and the seven of you start to ride out of town. Sasha slows her horse
so that it's next to yours. "We're going to go ask questions to some of the Marleyan
volunteers," she explains, her eyes lingering for a second too long on your sling before she
meets your gaze. "We're going to see Niccolo first. He's a-"

"A chef," you interrupt. "Yeah, I know."

"You know him?"

"Yeah, of course. He came to visit me."

Sasha's jaw slips open. "He- he came to see you?"

"Yeah." The surprise in her eyes fades to fondness as you continue, smiling, "he came to
thank me for saving you and offered to cook Levi and I a meal sometime. He was really
sweet."

Sasha looks flabbergasted. Her mouth opens, then closes, with no sound coming out.

"Sorry," you say quickly, glancing over to Connie. "Was that supposed to be a secret?"

"Not really," Connie calls back.

"We told you," Jean scolds, reaching across the gap between horses to smack Sasha lightly
across the shoulder. "The man's in love with you. Believe us yet?"

You laugh as Sasha's face goes red. Both Jean and Connie are shooting her looks that
scream I told you so, but there's still a bit of disbelief in Sasha's expression that you
recognize. You always have a soft spot for things like this, specs of normalcy in the middle of
your battles. It relieves you that these kids- young adults, you have to remind yourself- can
have something that others would consider normal.

"As I was saying," Sasha says quickly, "Niccolo is making dinner for my family today, so
they'll all be together and that's why I wanted to go to him first."

"Oh, boo!" Connie calls.

"Boo!" Jean chimes in.

"The only one who doesn't know it at this point is you, Sasha," Armin says with a small
smile.
Mikasa's eyes are set dead ahead; she seems deep in thought. Sasha's face is as red as a
tomato, and your grin is beginning to hurt your face. She looks at you helplessly, and you
shrug. "I'm with them on this one," you say. "You know what he told me?"

"What?" she whispers.

"Spill!" Connie urges.

Your grin somehow widens. "That he wouldn't be who he is today without you."

There's a chorus of "aww" from Jean and Connie (and even Armin) and Sasha's face manages
to take on a darker shade of red. She's fighting a smile though, and it's at that moment where
you can tell she loves him too.

"You think so?" Sasha murmurs, glancing at you hopefully.

"Sasha," Hange calls from the front of the pack. "I guarantee you, this man is head over heels
for you. I've seen this type of adoration between two people before."

"Really?" Sasha asks, cocking her head. "What happened to them?"

Hange glances back at you, a small smile on their face. "They got married."

Levi and you.

You scowl, feeling heat rush to your face. "Yeah, yeah."

"Really?" Connie says eagerly, and you resist the urge to kick him off his horse. "Was
Captain Levi really that obsessed with her?"

"Really," Hange confirms. "You should've seen him."

"Hange!" you snap, trying to keep yourself from smiling. "Aren't we on a mission?"

The commander's lips twitch. "She's right," they agree. "We'll be there in a few minutes.
Everyone hang tight."

You glance at Sasha. You both stare at each other for a moment, then break into grins at the
same time. Smiling, you look forward again, squeezing your heels into the horse to urge it
onwards.

It doesn't take too much longer to get to the restaurant, and Jean helps you get off your horse
once you arrive. Part of you hates the fact that the sling means you need assistance, but the
other part of you is grateful that your squad doesn't bring it up and seamlessly integrates their
help without asking. No one sees you as any less, and you appreciate it.

Well, technically... you could ditch the sling. But you like the fact you can hide your knives
there; it makes you feel more prepared.
Someone else is already waiting for you outside when you get there, and you recognize him-
Onyankopon. He's the one who piloted the blimp during the invasion a month ago. You know
he's one of the anti-Marleyan volunteers, but Hange is quick to assure you that his alibi is
airtight and that they trust him.

Onyankopon looks a bit wary of you, but you wave him off. "If Hange trusts you, that's good
enough for me."

"I'll take it," he agrees, nodding to you.

The eight of you step into the lobby of the building. Hange talks to one of the people in the
area and he scurries away, presumably to go fetch Niccolo. You tip your head up and scan the
building; it's grand, one of the newer additions to Wall Maria within the years. You've never
been into a nice restaurant like this, but you know the higher ups go to these often. Niccolo
must be quite the chef.

Soon enough, Niccolo emerges into the main lobby. He looks confused for a moment, but
then his eyes land on Sasha. You watch how his eyes light up and he immediately straightens.
"Sasha," he says. "I thought you were joining us for dinner?"

"I wanted to," she says, smiling. "But... duty calls. I'm sorry."

"Hey, Niccolo," Jean greets.

"Sorry to interrupt, Niccolo," Hange says, drawing the chef's attention to them. "You can go
back to your meal. We just want to ask you a couple of questions- it can wait."

He nods slowly, still looking mildly confused. "Alright. Follow me."

Niccolo leads your group into a separate room with a few tables and cabinets stocked high
with wine. You narrow your eyes at the label: you don't recognize it, but it looks Marleyan.
Hadn't Mike said something was funky about the wine from Marley?

"Is this the wine that all the soldiers were talking about?" Jean muses, taking a bottle.
"Apparently, only the officers get to drink it, but still..."

"Aren't we Survey Corps officers?" Connie protests.

"Yeah, we deserve a treat."

You frown- something doesn't feel right. Mike's instincts have rarely been wrong, and if he
says something's off about the wine, you're inclined to believe him. Maybe you're
overreacting and it's something as simple as using a different type of fruit for the wine; if the
higher-ups like it, then obviously it must be something good.

"Get your hands off that!"

Niccolo's shout catches you off guard and you nearly flinch. The chef snatches the wine
bottle away from Jean and cradles it to his chest.
Jean and Connie exchange glances. "It was a joke," Jean says slowly. "No need to overreact."

Niccolo stares at them both long and hard for a moment before he musters out, "...this wine
would be wasted on Eldians."

To that, you roll your eyes. You're so fed up with the 'all Eldians are devils' bullshit that it's
not even worth your effort to get mad at him. You'd thought Niccolo was past all that-
apparently not. That's disappointing- shouldn't his feelings for Sasha help give him a new
perspective?

You narrow your eyes at the panicked look on Niccolo's face. Something's not right.

"Sasha," you urge, nudging your friend. "Go join your family."

Sasha perks up, glancing at Hange for permission. Hange nods, and her face immediately
splits into a grin. "What did you cook?" Sasha asks excitedly, bounding over to Niccolo. "I'll
love whatever it is, but what did you make?"

The grin on Niccolo's face as he leads her down the hallway makes you smile. Soon, their
chatter fades, and the two of them are gone.

"Something's wrong," you say aloud.

Hange glances at you. "How so?"

You pinch your lips together. "Not sure," you mutter, shrugging. "It just... didn't feel right."

Not very convincing, but your friends look wary. You trust your own instincts and you're glad
that your friends have chosen to trust you. Something's setting you on edge though; you're
not sure what it could be.

You reach for one of the wine bottles. Frowning, you narrow your eyes at the label.
Marleyan, but you really can't tell anything more from it. Mike said something about it, and...

Niccolo's behavior wasn't quite right either.

"She's right," Mikasa echoes softly from behind you. "Something's not right."

Hange nods. "Come on. Let's look around."

Your group leaves the room that Niccolo put you in. You pause in the hallway, listening for
any sort of disturbance. Nothing. Armin turns down one corner and you follow him, eyes
glued to the doors. If Sasha was eating with her family, surely there would be some sort of
dining room. It's not going to be one of these locked doors on your left, but maybe...

You nudge Armin. "Last door on the right," you suggest.

Armin nods, heading down the hall. You open another door that Armin passes and glance
inside; nothing there except empty tables and chairs. Then, Armin calls out, "get down here!"
Immediately, you abandon the empty room and run down the hallway to catch up with
Armin. Mikasa is on your heels, closely followed by the rest of the scouts. Armin throws the
door open, stepping inside, and you follow.

Your eyes widen as you take in the scene.

Niccolo is standing with a knife in his hand and a boy clutched under his arm. There's an
angry look on his face- he's got psychotic eyes that made you stiffen up- but Sasha is standing
in front of him, hands out, trying to calm him down (from the looks of it). Behind Sasha is a
girl curled up on the ground, bleeding from her nose.

Your jaw slips open. It's the girl that shot you- Gabi.

Then that must mean... yes, the boy under Niccolo's arm looks like the other kid, Falco. You
glance to the table: you see the man that you recognize as Sasha's father, someone that must
be her mother, and a few other children.

"Sasha?" Armin says in surprise. "What's going on?"

Sasha doesn't even look his way. "Niccolo," she says steadily, hand extended, "give me the
knife."

"What happened?" you push, your arm suddenly very heavy in your sling.

No one answers you for a minute- a stalemate. Eventually, Niccolo musters out, "I was
getting more wine when these two came down to the basement. They thought... they're
secretly Marleyans, they're hardened soldiers," he says firmly, pointing the tip of the knife at
Gabi. "And she- and she started raving about how she shot you," Niccolo continues, eyes
flickering to you only briefly, "but that her real target was-"

He swallows, cutting himself off.

"Niccolo," Sasha says patiently. "I'm fine. I'm right here."

"You didn't hear her!" Niccolo spits. "The names she was calling you! How you were her real
target and she wanted to- wanted to finish you off before they tried to get back to Marley!
How she was aiming for you in the first place!"

Sasha shakes her head. "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter?" he demands.

As she tends to do, Gabi starts to speak, spitting the usual utter rubbish that you're
accustomed to by now. "I lost someone important to me!" she says, and you can hear the
desperation in her voice. "Because- because that woman shot him!" Gabi points to Sasha,
who seems undeterred. "I just want revenge! She killed someone-"

"Who cares?" Niccolo sneers, and you wish you could give him a high-five.
"Come to your senses!" Gabi pleads, pushing herself up to her knees. "Aren't you a Marleyan
soldier? The she-devil's got you in her clutches! Don't let the devils win!"

"Hey," you snap.

Gabi looks up to you, eyes wide and furious.

"What did we say about shutting up?" you prompt.

Her eyes glint angrily, and for a second, she looks like she's going to rise to her feet. But
Niccolo pulls the knife up, bringing it towards Falco's neck. For a second, you think you're
going to have to step in, but Sasha's dad steps up first. "Niccolo," he says patiently, hand
extended. "Pass me the knife."

For a second, your heartbeat jumps in your chest. Sasha's father can't seriously be thinking
about revenge, can he?

Your moment of panic is short lived; Niccolo hands the knife over, and Artur reaches behind
him to set the knife down on the table. "Niccolo," he says gently, his voice firm. "I
understand your anger. But Sasha's here, in front of you. She was saved. The one put in a life
threatening situation was this young woman here."

He looks to you. You try not to squirm on the spot.

"So," Artur continues. "I suppose it's only fair that it's your decision, Logan."

Eyes turn to you, and you resist the urge to leave the room. Gabi's eyes are wide as she looks
at you, clearly unsure as to what you're going to say, but you just sigh. "I don't care," you say
with a shrug, inwardly thrilled that there's no ache to your shoulder. "How bad are you
injured?"

Gabi stares at you uncomprehendingly. "...What?"

Yeah, she's not going to be much help. You glance sideways at Mikasa, who's already moving
to crouch down next to Gabi. Sasha gently takes Falco away from Niccolo while Connie and
Jean step in to pull the chef back and restrain him.

You glance at Artur. He gives you a nod, and you nod in return.

Mikasa is helping tend to Gabi, and when you glance down at her, she meets your eyes. For
once, you don't see any anger on her face- just surprise. "You don't want to kill me? You don't
hate me?" she asks, like she can't understand it.

You sigh. "No harm, no foul. And you..." you trail off. "Nothing's going to change if I kill
you. What would be the point?"

It's true. You've had no problems killing soldiers, killing anyone that would be a threat to the
lives of your friends- but Gabi's no threat. At least, you don't think so. Not anymore.
Gabi's jaw slips open and she gapes stupidly. "Get her out of here," Hange prompts, and
Armin nods. He and Mikasa help Gabi to her feet and lead her out of the room. Sasha helps
lay Falco out, and Hange sits next to him, studying him. "He should be fine," they say with a
sigh. "Just knocked out."

"That's not blood?" you ask, eyeing the red staining his lips.

"It's wine," Niccolo says, eyes cast downward. "You should rinse his mouth out, but... I guess
it's too late."

Too late? Too late for what?

"Niccolo," Hange says slowly. "What's in that wine?"

The blond chef swallows hard. "I think it's Zeke's spinal fluid."

Everyone seems to pause.

Jean straightens up, the horror evident on his face. There's a stricken look on Connie's face
that you don't recognize. It takes a second for the information to sink in: Zeke's spinal fluid in
the wine means that people have been drinking it, and that means... that means he's got an
army of titans at his disposal if he so much as yells.

Jean grabs Niccolo's collar and presses him up against the wall, demanding answers. You're
not really listening; your head is spinning. You hadn't had any of that wine, right? You're
safe? Yes- you don't think you've had any. Mike said the wine he brought was from Wall
Rose- yes, you didn't have the Marleyan wine.

Oh my god. That must've been what Mike smelled- Zeke's spinal fluid.

Wait... Niccolo wouldn't let Jean and Connie touch the wine. You lean back, sighing as the
connection is made in your head. You knew there was something up with his behavior, and
now you know.

"You were protecting us earlier," you say, and Hange looks up to you. Your eyes are set on
Niccolo. "When you took the wine away."

He meets your eyes, then looks away. "Yelena was the one that told me to distribute it to the
military, starting with the highest ranking officers."

Highest ranking officers?

...holy shit, you're all fucked.

Levi needs to know about this. If Levi's guarding Zeke, he needs to know how bad this is,
how dangerous this is. Zeke needs to stay in that forest, or else it's going to mean a shit ton of
titans appearing directly within the military. Alarm bells are going off in your head; you need
to get to Levi.
"I've never heard of this," Onyankopon defends, raising his hands in the air when Hange turns
to look at him. "I swear."

"But that doesn't make sense!" Connie protests, head snapping sideways. "Zeke, he- he told
us Eldians freeze up the moment they drink Zeke's spinal fluid, right? That's what..." his
voice lowers. "That's what happened in Ragako," he says shakily.

Ragako- where Connie's entire family was turned into titans.

"That's just what Zeke said happened," Hange says heavily, fingers gently placed on the top
of Falco's head as they tip his chin upwards. "It's not like anyone saw it coming and can
confirm it."

Shit.

"If he lied about that," you say slowly, "what else do you think he lied about?"

Hange shakes their head. "The effect of that lie is immense. If we believe that we'll freeze up
when drinking Zeke's spinal fluid, then no one would suspect that they've been poisoned as
long as they don't see any symptoms."

"But- but that's just your theory, right?" Jean asks, rounding on Niccolo.

The chef nods miserably. "There's no proof, but why else would they ask that of me?"

"Mike said it smelled off."

Hange glances up to you. "What?"

"Mike," you repeat. "We were- we were having wine earlier- no, not this wine," you say,
backtracking immediately when you see the looks on everyone's faces, "and he was telling
me that something smelled off about the Marleyan wine, so he brought some from Wall
Rose."

Hange nods, eye narrowed. "I trust Mike's nose," they murmur, looking back down to Falco.
"It's never let us down before."

"How many people?" Sasha asks quietly, her voice small. "How many people have had this
wine by now?"

Silence falls. The seriousness of the situation falls on the room.

You know what you have to do. "Hange," you say, glancing at the commander. They look up
from their spot by Falco's side. "Let me go warn Levi. He needs to know what Zeke's done
and how important it is that he stays in that forest."

Hange sighs softly. "Logan-"

"Hange, please. Tell me where he is."

"You don't know where he is?" Connie asks in surprise.

"I never told her," Hange replies for you. "Safer that way."

"Hange," you urge, drawing their attention back to you. "He needs to know."

"It's not going to affect how he does his job," they object.

"But..."

No.

...oh, no.

Your wedding ring suddenly feels very tight around your finger. "Hange," you say slowly,
eyes wide, "when you sent them down with supplies, was there wine in those boxes?"

There's another pause.

Slowly, various people around the room start to clue in. Sasha's face drops, her eyes
widening. Connie looks like he's going to be sick. Hange's one good eye widens.

Your heart constricts in your chest. Levi's not a drinker- he wouldn't have wine on the job.
Even if he did, Zeke had mentioned that there's something special about the Ackerman clan,
something that no one seems to understand. Maybe he'd be fine- there's no way to know for
sure. You just have to hope that Levi wouldn't touch the wine, and you know he wouldn't, not
while he's supposed to be guarding Zeke.

But the brigade of soldiers that Hange sent with him...

"Hange," you say, your voice suddenly very cold, "did you send wine?"

Hange pinches their lips together. "Yes."

Levi needs to know. He needs to know that Zeke might be able to turn every single soldier in
that forest into titans- all those that drank wine, at least. He needs to know and he might need
help.

You spring into action, storming towards the door and tugging at your cloth sling. "I'm going
to go prep a horse!" you call over your shoulder. "If you're not out here in two minutes to tell
me where to go, I'm coming back in!"

"Logan!" Sasha protests, but you're already gone.

Your heart feels like a hammer against your rib cage. You storm down the hallway, trying to
tear the cloth of the sling with one hand. You're not going to want this in the way anymore,
not if you're going to be riding full speed into something that could be disastrous.

A thought strikes you. What if it's already happened? What if Levi's-

No. Hange sent a messenger earlier; he would've reported back if there was an issue. Eren
only just escaped; if Zeke's working with Eren, then he might try to get out of Levi's clutches
soon. You might not have much time-

You stop.

Standing in the middle of the hallway, hand on the doorknob to a separate room, is Eren.

You blink, stunned. His brown hair is pulled back into some sort of bun, small pieces of his
bangs falling into his face. He's wearing dark pants and a loose shirt with a sweater pulled
over top, and his eyes are narrowed. He looks almost... tired. Like he's been through a long
nightmare.

His hand is bleeding- he's cut it. He could transform.

Eren sees you, and his eyebrows rise slightly. "Logan."

"Eren," you say. You have to remind yourself that Eren's not on your side right now- he's got
his own agenda that he's refused to divulge and his followers killed the chief of the military.
"What's..."

You trail off, your gaze lingering on his bloody hand.

"You're alive," Eren says. "They never told me if you were."

You raise an eyebrow. "Did you care?"

He doesn't reply.

There's something ominous looming over him, some sort of atmosphere that feels like it's
suffocating you. You don't feel like you can move- he's not exactly going to let you go by, is
he?

"What're you doing here?" you finally ask.

Eren's hand falls from the doorknob. Apparently, he's content to talk to you before he goes to
do... well, whatever he was going to do. Footsteps echo from the corridor, moving closer, and
three soldiers run around the bend. You recognize them as some of the Survey Corps recruits-
are they here to help?

No, they're holding guns, and all three of them point their weapons at you. These must be
some of those Jaegerists Hange was talking about.

You think of the knife in your sling, but Eren holds up a hand. The three soldiers pause, rifles
lowering only slightly.

"You know where Zeke is," he says. Not a question, but a statement.

"I don't," you say.

Eren doesn't reply, but it's clear he doesn't believe you.

"Being tortured once was enough for me," you say, a bit of coldness seeping into your tone.
Your eyes flicker warily to the three lurking soldiers, but none of them move. "They didn't
want to risk it again."

He stares. Then, he nods, like he believes you. "Captain Levi's protecting you."

"He does that sometimes."

"Ironic."

You raise your eyebrows. "Ironic?"

"Of all people, you're married to an Ackerman."

You blink. That's not where you were expecting this conversation to go.

"The Ackermans," Eren says slowly, head tilting slowly. "Devoted to the throne. The only
clan that never lost their memories when King Fritz wiped their minds." He pauses. "You
wouldn't know that."

"I know that they're special," you say carefully. "That's all."

"They are," he agrees, and there's some sort of darkness in his eyes that's making your toes
curl in your boots. "Dangerous too. So they couldn't be left as they were."

You're confused. "Where are you going with this?"

"The founding titan's memories are extensive," Eren continues darkly, like you hadn't spoken.
"I've seen things. I've seen how King Fritz used the titan in a different way, to create. To try
and trick the Ackerman clan into losing their memories in another way."

"Eren-"

"You told us that your family had a tree in the yard. And it was the fruit on the tree that
caused your family's amnesia."

"It's a theory-"

"You've never wondered where that tree at your family's farm came from?"

This all feels painfully out of nowhere. You take a step back, head reeling, trying to
comprehend where the hell Eren's coming from and why he's telling you this.

He stares at you solemnly as you try to digest what he's telling you. "That tree," you say
slowly, "was put there by the king so that he could... try and get the Ackermans to lose their
memories externally? Since he couldn't do it himself?"

Eren nods. "It didn't work, and the clan moved, but the tree stayed."
You blink, still reeling.

"Why would I lie to you?" Eren says, shrugging loosely. He truly does look like he doesn't
care about anything he's told you. "It's true."

Of that, you don't doubt. In all the time you've known Eren- years and years- you've known
him to be many things, but a liar isn't one of them. So... so that damn tree is there because the
king tried to take out the Ackermans another way. You have amnesia because the old Eldian
king tried to wipe the memories of Levi's ancestors.

An explanation, finally. You hadn't cared for one or gone out looking for one, but it's still
kind of nice to finally... know.

"Why'd you tell me that?" you question, pressing your free hand to your forehead.

Eren's expression doesn't change. "Because I admired you."

The admission is so point blank and yet another thing that you hadn't expected Eren to say,
and once again, you're floored. You blink at him stupidly, trying to wrap your head around
the statement, not even noticing the use of the past tense. You've forgotten that there's
soldiers hanging around; this conversation between you and Eren has put the two of you in
your own little world.

"You fought for your freedom. You broke out of your cage." Eren glances up at the ceiling of
the hallway, then back down to you. "Only to choose to enslave yourself again."

He's looking at your hand, specifically at the shiny decoration on your finger. Your wedding
ring.

You grit your teeth together as he continues. "Break free from it. Join me. This is the only
way to finally let everyone be at peace," he says, but you don't even know what exactly he's
referring to. "You've always been looking out for everyone. You're always thinking of
everyone else before yourself. You can understand people. So you can understand why this
hatred that the world has for us can't go unchecked."

It starts to click- the rumbling. It's something that Zeke mentioned: unleashing all the titans in
the walls against the world.

That's his plan- to trample over the world?

"You understood when Captain Levi chose Armin over Erwin," Eren says nonchalantly, and
your stomach curls. "He did it because it was the best option for humanity. For our people's
survival. So you can understand why I'm doing this."

Your mouth opens, then closes.

He's trying to appeal to your compassion?

"Eren," you whisper, tongue thick in your throat, "you're going to murder millions."
"It's the only way," he says, unwavering.

"Kids, Eren. Innocent kids."

"We were innocent kids too."

"That doesn't mean we can just..."

You trail off.

Eren's eyes flash. "You don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to do anything for anyone
just because you think you owe the world your talents. Those people across the ocean, all
those that want us dead- you think you owe them something, but you don't."

It's so sad. It depresses you like nothing else, seeing what Eren has become. What he's turned
into. He's trying to save you and everyone on this island in the only way he knows for sure
will work: killing everyone else. That's the only way for peace in his mind, and he's taking no
risks of anything else. No peace negotiations, as Armin had proposed. No allies, like some
had suggested. He's taking it all into his own hands.

"You don't know them," he says. "Live for yourself. Break away from it."

"You know I can't do that," you murmur.

Eren's shoulders sink only slightly- like he's disappointed. "I thought you might understand,"
he says. "I guess not."

"I understand." You swallow hard. "I get why you're doing it. I really do. But- but I can't
support your plan, Eren. I can't support genocide."

"Well." He looks back to the three soldiers, then back to you. "You were the only one I
wanted to give this chance to," Eren says casually. "I thought if I could get anyone to
understand me, it'd be you. You've always been that way. Selfless. Understanding."

"What happened to you?" you whisper.

"I grew up."

He signals, and the three soldiers close in, guns aimed up to your face. Eren doesn't even give
you one last glance: he opens the door and steps into the room he was headed into earlier,
shutting it behind him. You grit your teeth, eyes scanning the three soldiers.

"Seriously?" you say, raising the arm in the sling. "Is that necessary?"

"You know it is," one of them says. They gesture with the gun barrel. "Back the way you
came."

Locking your jaw, you turn on your heel and start marching back down the hallway. Your
head is still reeling from your conversation with Eren, but you need to put that on the
backburner. Right now, your focus should be on Levi and how to get to him.
How's that supposed to happen now? With guards on you, all with guns? You guarantee
there's more.

Even if you could escape, somehow get yourself out- how would you know where to go?
There's no way Hange could tell you with so many eyes and ears around. What the hell are
you supposed to do?

You're feeling dizzy, and the revelation with Eren doesn't help.

Why the hell would he tell you that?

Was he trying to rattle you? Trying to set you against Levi based on something his ancestors
caused? He should know better. He should know you would never turn against Levi like that-
you never would. Especially not for something as miniscule as that. He should've known
there was no way you'd support what he's doing.

...so why? Was it really just because Eren thought you ought to know the truth?

Maybe it was, honestly.

You wonder if that was the last conversation with Eren that you'll ever have.

One of the guards throws open the door, and you pause. A gun barrel digs into your back and
urges you forwards; you stumble into the dining room, hands clenched into fists. There's
nine, ten- maybe a dozen soldiers in total with guns. Hange and the others are standing dead
still on the far side of the room, hands raised. Sasha's family has huddled together- there's
guns on them too.

The words slip out of your mouth. "Oh, come on," you blurt out, gesturing with your free
hand to Artur and his family. "They've done nothing."

"Logan."

You turn towards the voice and do your best to conceal your groan. "Floch," you say through
gritted teeth.

Floch points his gun at you, his gaze weirdly calm. "You're going to take us to Zeke."

"She doesn't know where he is," one of the guards behind you says.

"She doesn't," Hange says, speaking up and drawing Floch's gaze. "For her own safety."

Floch considers it for a moment, then shrugs. "Regardless," he says. "She's coming with us.
She's our safety net against Captain Levi."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. They'll threaten harm to you just so Levi doesn't attack?
"How original," you say dryly. "Never heard that one before."

"It'll be effective, though," the man points out.

"Cheap move, Floch," Hange says, but they're looking at you. "You'll rot in hell for that one."

Weird. Hange's still staring at you.

Shit- they're trying to tell you something.

What was off about what they said? Hange's body language is giving you nothing, but maybe
their words...

Wait.

"Fucking hell, Floch," you snap. "You're a piece of shit."

Hange gives you a nearly indiscernible nod, and your heart jumps in your chest. You do your
best to keep your expression controlled, not waiting to let the Jaegerists know what you've
just figured out.

You know where Levi is.

Fucking Hell Forest. The place that you, Levi, and Hange named after the three of you and
Erwin.

Okay. Now that you know, you need to get out of here. You need some sort of distraction,
something that'll give you the upper hand-

You've got two knives in your sling.

Your heart is a god damn hammer in your chest, pounding so loudly that you're surprised
Floch can't hear it. You've got weapons, you've got a location, and you've got a ride- those
horses that you left out front. You just need to get out of here.

Your conversation with Eren has fallen deep into the back of your mind, nearly forgotten.
Your priority is Levi. You need to get to him and warn him of what's going on, of the kind of
danger he might be in. God, you've never wanted to see Levi so badly in your life.

One step at a time.

"Tie them up," Floch says, setting down his gun to pull out rope. You straighten up as he
stalks towards you. "I've wanted to do this for a long time," he murmurs to himself, and you
feel him reach for your sling.

Shit.

There's still two guns on you; you're going to need a distraction.

You lock eyes with Sasha's family across the room. Artur is looking at you intensely, worry
evident on his face. You give him a quick nod, hoping he understands what you mean.

I need that favor now.

Thank fuck for the Braus family's intuition.

Artur drops to his knees, gasping loudly. His hands claw desperately at his chest and he's got
his eyes scrunched shut. "Artur!" Sasha's mother shouts, her cry filled with panic. "Artur!
What's going on?"

Slowly, painfully slowly, you raise your free hand up towards your sling. You've got to be
patient with it until Floch turns around so that he can't tell what you're up to. You glance up;
you're not sure if Sasha's mother is in on it or not, but either way, she's certainly selling it.
"Dad!" Sasha cries, pulling against the person that's trying to tie her up.

Floch finally turns his head. "What-"

You move.

Your hand closes over the metal of one of the knives in your sling and you whip it out, slicing
straight through the flimsy material. The other knife falls and you shoot your newly freed
hand out, grabbing it out of midair.

A heartbeat is all it takes for you to lift your foot and launch your boot up at one soldier's
gun; it's launched upwards. His grip was loose, and the gun flies out of his hands. In the same
moment, you throw one knife at the other soldier and it sinks into her hand. She cries out,
gun falling. You spin again and sink your boot into the sternum of the first soldier; he falls
backwards, winded.

Floch turns back around, but he's too late. You drive your elbow into the side of his head.

You would've preferred a punch, but it's still a solid hit, and the cry that Floch makes sends a
rush of adrenaline through your chest. You pull back your other hand, your second knife
ready to go, but movement catches the corner of your eye. One of the soldiers is reacting
faster than some of the others, gun twisting towards you.

Fuck.

Without thinking, you pull your hand back and toss the blade. It spins through the air and
sinks itself into the soldier's right temple; he crumples to the ground.

The door's right behind you, and the two with guns pointed at you are down. You can escape-
you just have to turn and run. But no one's reacting quick enough, and Floch's in front of you,
so they can't really shoot you without hitting Floch-

Oh, fuck it.

"Fuck you!" you snarl, and you twist so that you can drive your fist straight into his nose.

Floch howls. You can feel the heat of blood stinging your knuckles.

Okay. I'm good now.

You spin and dash towards the doorway, throwing yourself out. Two gunshots go off behind
you, but you don't feel anything, so they must've missed. You sprint down the hallway, trying
to remember how best to get out of the building. More gunshots go off and you duck your
head, swinging yourself around one corner.

Somehow, you make it into the front lobby, and you dash outside. You make a beeline
towards where the horses are tied.

You try to remember where Connie's horse was tied. Connie always does the loosest knots,
which will make for the fastest possible getaway. Grabbing the reins of the horse you think
Connie rode in, you tug.

The knot comes loose. Grinning, you hoist yourself up, and the horse start shifting in place.
"Go!" you urge, squeezing your calves.

The horse whinnies, then takes off. You adjust yourself properly onto the saddle, glancing
behind you. A few soldiers have come out of the lobby, guns raised, but you're too far away
now to be a decent target. Some of them start going for the horses, but you know you've got
enough of a head start that they're not going to be able to catch up with you.

You did it.

"Fuck yeah," you whisper to yourself, grinning.

Next stop, Hell Forest.

Hange stares at the absolute chaos you've left behind.

If Hange could pick one word to describe you, there would be several that come to mind.
Tough, because you are. Clever, because you definitely are. Compassionate is another one
that Hange thinks of. Reckless, especially after the invasion on Marley and what just
happened.

But none of them seem to encompass you very well. They all feel too narrow, too focused.

Chaotic feels perfect.

Floch is curled up on the ground, gasping as he cups his nose, which is dripping blood onto
the ground. One girl is sobbing, your knife still buried in her hand, and the boy whose hand
you'd kicked is trying to help her out. The Jaegerists are staggered and confused; they're not
quite sure what the best course of action is. They hadn't planned on an escape.

It's a good opportunity for the rest of them to try and escape, but Hange knows better. They
wouldn't get far, not when they're already tied up.

Floch swears as he pushes himself to his feet, hands covered with blood. "Did anyone
pursue?" he asks, turning to one of the other men.
"A few," the man says.

Floch shakes his head. "They won't catch her."

That much is true, at least. Hange's never liked Floch, but he's always been decently logical,
unfortunately. Hange pulls against their restraints, like a test of the ropes, but they're knotted
together well. There'll be no easy escape.

"It's fine," Floch continues. "She doesn't know where Levi is anyways. We'll get there before
she does."

A vicious wave of satisfaction rises in Hange's chest, and they do their best to swallow it
down. You'd caught on so quickly to literally the most miniscule clue as to Levi's location.
Hm- maybe clever would be a better word for you after all.

"What..."

Hange turns. Connie is staring down at the floor.

They look. It's the dead body of one of the Jaegerists, the one you'd thrown the knife at in
your retreat. He's laying on his stomach, head tipped to the side. Your knife is still lodged in
his forehead, blood spilling across the ground.

"She just killed him?" Connie forces out. "He's a kid."

Hange studies the corpse. Connie's right; he looks young.

"His life was sacrificed in the journey for Eldia's salvation," Floch says, straightening himself
up. "We can honor his death by finding Zeke as we intended."

There's a bit of a pause.

"Do you guys remember?" someone says, and Hange cranes their neck to see Sasha. Her eyes
are cast down on the dead body, some sort of pain in her eyes. "Years ago. Back when we
first joined Captain Levi's squad, and he told us to prepare ourselves to kill people."

Jeans speaks up next. "She was the only one that didn't seem to have a problem with it."

"That surprised you?" Hange asks aloud.

"I- I remember telling her that Captain Levi only ever used violence to get what he wants,"
Connie chokes out, eyes still glued to the dead body. "And she seemed surprised that we
didn't think of her the same way."

There's another brief pause before Jean speaks up. "We held her on a pedestal," he says, more
like he's thinking aloud than anything else. "She got private training, she succeeded in
everything, she..."

He trails off.
"I guess," Jean continues quietly, "it shouldn't surprise us that she kills well too."

"Lovely sentiment," Floch says with a bit of a sneer, and Hange looks up. They'd forgotten he
was there. "But we'll be taking you into custody now. Commander, you're coming with us.
You're going to take us to where Zeke is, and we'll kill your precious captain while we're
there."

Hange doesn't care. They look back to Jean. "Don't judge people by what they've done to
survive," they say measuredly.

"She's a good person," Sasha says, and they look back to her. Sasha swallows hard. "She- she
could've thrown her blade at the girl who tried to shoot me. She could've killed her. Instead,
she... she took the bullet. So that she didn't have to kill the girl."

Of course you did, Hange thinks with a sigh. They'd been in the pilot's cabin when the whole
thing had went down and had to find out about all of it after the fact. "Exactly," they say.

Connie doesn't say a word. His eyes are still locked on the corpse.

"You'd rather her dead than him?" Hange challenges softly.

"Enough," Floch interrupts. "We can't waste time. Let's go."

Hange sighs as one of the soldiers shoves them forwards, towards the door. They just hope
that you've got enough of a head start to get there on time and get Levi out of danger.

You're too late.

When you get to the forest, you can see the steam billowing up through the trees. It's a steam
that you haven't seen in years, not since you purged the island of titans. Gritting your teeth,
you urge your horse into the trees.

It's a massacre.

Titan bodies lie everywhere, every single one of them bloody and steaming. You can see
wrecked supplies- hammocks, crates, barrels- spread out among the titan corpses. This was
their camp, newly destroyed.

Someone had to have killed all of the titans. And the only one capable of that would be Levi.

"C'mon, Levi," you murmur to yourself, guiding your horse around the destruction site.
There's got to be some sort of clue as to where he went.

Think, Logan, think.

Well, he was guarding Zeke. If Zeke's not here, then Levi probably incapacitated him and has
the stupid blond man with him, wherever he went. He would've knocked out Zeke or at least
chopped off his arms and legs so that he couldn't do anything- so carrying Zeke would be
hard. Horses? Maybe they used horses.

You twist your ring anxiously around your finger.

Alright. Well, keeping Zeke upright on a horse would be a pain, so maybe Levi used a cart.
And if he used a cart... yes. There'd be tracks.

"Cart tracks," you say aloud, tipping your head down to study the ground.

It takes you a minute, but you find them. The tracks are dug deep into the dirt- it's definitely a
cart. And it's headed out of the forest.

Your head swims with relief. Hopefully, he's uninjured- but at least you know he made it out.

You pause for a moment. You're still wearing the long Survey Corps coat and no gear. If a
battle comes, which is highly likely, you're going to need to be more prepared.

Sparing the extra minute, you root through the supplies and find an extra set of gear. You tear
off the long coat, dropping it to the grass, and pull on the gear as fast as you possibly can.
Getting your boots off and pulling the straps over your feet takes the longest, but you're sure
it'll be worth the time: you're going to need it, especially if everywhere you turn is going to
have Jaegerists ready to arrest you.

Once your gear is on, you hop back onto your horse. You really wish you had a cloak, but
there's no time for that.

"Go," you urge, and the horse goes.

You weave through the trees, following the cart tracks as they navigate through the forest.
Eventually, you get out of the forest and the cart tracks lead away. You're not sure exactly
what direction Levi was headed, but you know you've got to follow it.

Funny- the sun's setting. The sky's turning into a beautiful gradient of orange all the way to
dark blue.

I wonder if Levi's seeing this too.

Swallowing hard, you push your horse to go faster.

Night falls much too quickly, and with the darkness comes rain. Now you definitely wish you
had a cloak of some sort, because the rain is soaking your shirt and pants and you find
yourself shivering on the back of the horse. The sky is filled with storm clouds, giving you
virtually no light. No moon or stars to be seen.

It doesn't help that the rain has messed with the cart tracks. You can't see them anymore.
Fortunately, you're by a river, and if you had to bet, you'd say Levi followed the river.

That's the only thing you can hope for at this point- that he's along the shore.
Pushing your horse forwards, you use a hand to pull some of your dripping hair out of your
eyes. You're freezing cold- damn stupid rain. You wish it would let up.

"Come on, Levi," you mutter, squinting into the darkness.

Your horse is slowing down too. It's understandable- you've been going for a while. The trip
down to the forest was long enough, and now even further in heavy rain? You can't exactly
blame the horse; these are less than ideal conditions.

And then, finally, you see it. Something in the distance.

A grin splits across your face. "One last bit, girl," you urge, stroking the horse's mane.
"Almost there."

The horse continues on, and as you close in, your relief heightens. You're starting to make out
the Survey Corps cloak of the rider sitting in the front of the cart. There's two horses towing
the cart at a leisurely pace, and something's sticking up from the back of the cart. You can't
see Zeke- maybe he's laying down in the back.

You want to yell out, but your voice would only get lost in the pounding rain. Instead, you
count the seconds until your horse is close enough to hear through the rain and Levi turns
around.

His grey eyes meet yours. They go wide, then relax instantly.

"L," Levi says, and you can hear the relief in his voice. He reaches out for you and you slow
your horse down, trying to match the pace of the horses towing the cart. Levi hesitates in his
reach for you so that he can grab the reins of your horses and loosely tie them to one of the
other horses. Once your horse is tied, you throw yourself over the side.

Levi grabs onto you and pulls you into his arms. It's been a month since you've seen him last-
not since you were dying on the floor of the blimp- and it's just so damn nice to be in his
arms again. The rain pounds down around you and on you, but you can't even feel it
anymore.

He squeezes, then pulls back, hands moving up to cup your face. "You didn't drink any
wine?"

"No," you say. "Not a drop."

"Good. Shoulder?"

"Been fine for a week now."

Levi nods, content now that he knows you're alright. He looks you up and down, then frowns.
"You're freezing," he says, his hands rubbing your arms. "I could give you my cloak, but I
don't know how much it would help. It's soaked."

You shake your head. "I'll live."

Finally, you glance at the back of the cart. Sure enough, Zeke's curled up on his side, passed
out. The thing that you'd seen sticking up is none other than a thunder spear embedded into
Zeke's stomach, the cord of which is tied around his neck.

You frown, turning back to Levi. "What happened?"

Levi looks pained. "All the soldiers are gone," he says, his voice tight. "They all transformed.
I got the bastard before he could get away."

God. You reach up for his face, thumb skimming some of the raindrops off his cheek.
"Nothing else you could've done," you insist softly. "You didn't have a choice."

"...I know."

Yeah. You know he knows, but it doesn't make it any easier.

"Messenger came and told me Eren escaped," Levi says, and you let your hand fall from his
face. "I was already planning on dragging Zeke off to be eaten so I just moved those plans
up."

You nod along. "Jaegerists came and tried to arrest us all."

His lips twitch. "Tried to?"

You can't help it; you beam. "Finally got to punch Floch," you say happily. "I think I broke
his nose."

Levi smirks. "That's my girl."

Butterflies erupt in your stomach and heat rushes to your cheeks, but you continue on
anyways. "Hange never told me where you were," you say quickly, making sure Levi knows
that Hange kept their word. "But when they were about to tie us up, Hange told me- well, by
telling Floch to rot in hell."

His eyebrows rise. "You got it from that? The forest name?"

"Yeah."

"You two have a weird way of communication."

You laugh; the sound is muffled by the rain. "Anyways, I fought them off and came to you. I
didn't know what you'd do and we were worrying that Zeke's spinal fluid was put in the wine
that was packed with you."

"That's what happened?"

You nod.

Levi sighs, pressing a hand to his forehead. "So all of the military have had this shit by now?"
he asks, and you nod. "So we're fucked."
"We are," you agree.

There's a pause. You reach out, and Levi links his pinky finger with yours. "So we fight it,"
he says quietly. "We fight the odds-"

"And we win," you finish. "We fight fate and we win."

"Damn right we do."

There's a groan from behind you, and the both of you turn to Zeke. He's starting to stir. "The
only way to save Eldia," he croaks, his voice weak, "is to put us out of our misery."

Levi steps down into the cart, leaving you up with the reins of the horses. "That was your
plan? Mercy killings?" he snaps. "Well, you're about to die in a stinky titan's mouth to the
sound of your own body being chewed to pieces. I'd say that's a pretty merciful death for you,
wouldn't you? Considering you stole the lives of so many of my comrades."

"I stole nothing," Zeke forces out, tipping his head up. "I saved them. Them and the... the
children they would have. I saved them all from this cruel world."

You frown. Something's not right. He almost sounds... suicidal.

"Looks like you're growing another leg," Levi says darkly, drawing one of his blades.

Zeke turns to look at Levi, and there's a deranged rage in his eyes- almost psychotic. You
immediately stiffen up. You've seen that before, in your father's eyes when he was
succumbing to insanity near the end of his life. Nothing good ever comes out of it.

"I hope you're watching, Mr. Xaver!" Zeke howls.

You realize the trap a second too late. Zeke has no intention of respecting the thunder spear in
his stomach.

"Levi, no-" you start.

To Levi's credit, he understands immediately upon hearing your warning. His blade tumbles
from his fingers as he twists towards you, and you reach for him. Everything feels like it's
happening too slowly: you're trying to lean backwards to get out of the cart while reaching
for Levi at the same time, all while he's trying to get in front of you.

He shoves you, hard. You fumble for him, trying to pull you out of the cart with him, but it's
not enough. Too little, too late.

Levi starts to say your name.

His words are swallowed by the sound of Zeke's scream and the sudden explosion.

The force is massive and the heat singes your skin as you get propelled backwards, shards of
the destroyed thunder spear flying in all different directions. Everything is burning- your
skin, your insides- and you can't even tell what's injured because heat is just everywhere and
 you can't tell where the pain is coming from. Everything hurts, like you've been shoved
directly into a hot flame. The wind from flying through the air makes it worse. You want to
scream, but it feels like there's glass in your throat.

The pain is unbearable. You pass out before you hit the ground.

Chapter End Notes

"How many life threatening situations has Logan been in now???" Lots lol. The story
would get boring real fast if homegirl was immune to pain. She's gonna suffer. And y'all
seem to like angst so yay for suffering!

Alright, my dear anime-only viewers: this is where we part. Thank you for following me
faithfully up until this point. For those of you currently going through the manga or
those who have only made it to a certain part, here's a breakdown of the next few
chapters:

Chapter 47 ( 4 - 5 ) : up to chapter 126 of the manga

Chapter 48 ( 4 - 6 ) : up to chapter 132 of the manga
Chapter 49 ( 4 - 7 ) : up to chapter 138 of the manga
Chapter 50 ( 4 - 8 ) : up to the end of the manga

Be warned, for the few of you who've told me that you haven't read the manga but
you've heard enough spoilers: I skip a lot of details, most of the dialogue heavy stuff,
because I don't want to regurgitate what people have already read. (hint: anytime you see
Logan 'tuning out', I'm just skipping parts of the manga) So you're free to read, I'd love it
if you did, but there may be some sections that are confusing. And this is all in Logan's
POV; there's so much else going on that I don't cover, like the Battle of Shiganshina or
the Connie-Falco scene that manga readers love ;)

I truly do love you guys. Your comments are always so kind. Only four more chapters to
go!! xoxo
 4-5
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

You don't know when you wake up, but you couldn't have been out for long, because the cart
is still smoking.

Slowly, achingly slowly, you lift your head up from the ground. You're laying on your
stomach in the mud, and as you clear your vision, you see you haven't been thrown far.
You're on the river bed. The rain is still lightly pounding down around you, and one of the
horses is whinnying miserably. You can't see Zeke.

You crane your neck. A few feet away, facedown and unmoving, is Levi. "Levi," you croak,
nearly coughing. "Levi!"

He's not responding. You try to stand, but your feet slip in the mud and everything hurts too
much to give it more effort. Refusing to assume the worst, you start to drag yourself across
the shore, sliding through the mud. Your fingernails dig into the soft earth and pull you along.
Thank god for the rain and the mud- you're not sure you'd be able to move otherwise. You
cough desperately, feeling like you're coughing up blood. Shit- how injured are you? How
bad is Levi?

As soon as you get close enough, you try to flip Levi over, but you've used all of your
strength just getting towards him and you can't. You turn his face and nearly sob- he's sliced
apart. There's shards of thunder spear protruding from all over his face. There's more blood
than skin. There's a giant scar from his forehead to his chin, crossing one of his eyes.

"Levi," you sob, fingers fumbling. You shakily reach for his neck, tears leaking from your
eyes.

He's got a pulse.

You sink into the mud with relief: he's alive.

"Levi, Levi," you murmur like a mantra, finally summoning the energy to roll him over. He
looks awful. There's chunks of thunder spear everywhere and he looks like he was bathing in
his own blood. His face is mangled. You hold your palm in front of his mouth, feeling for his
breath; it's so pitifully weak that it makes you want to cry.

Your only saving grace is that you'd warned him in time and he'd dropped his sword. If that
explosion had gone off with his fingers in the blade handle, he could've lost his fingers.

It could be worse. Yes, that's right- you managed to warn him so that he could move, even if
it was just a bit. His legs look mostly okay, his chest looks manageable, and he's breathing.
Yes, it could be worse.
It could've been worse.

"C'mon, Logan," you grumble to yourself, your throat burning with the words. You roll
yourself to a seated position and give yourself a once over.

Granted, it's not bad at all- nowhere near as bad as Levi. He did his best to protect you, after
all- but you definitely weren't completely clear. One of your boot is in tatters, and from the
looks of it, your foot is going to be pretty messed up. There's a giant piece of spear in the
front of your thigh and several smaller pieces in your lower legs. You look at your arm and
hands, caked in mud and blood.

Nothing too bad in your arms. It could be worse. It could be worse.

You cough, and this time you taste the blood that slips from your lips and falls to the mud
below. You lean over as much as you can bear and study your reflection in the river. One
small piece of thunder spear in the side of your head, but nothing else that's too bad. Blood is
leaking from the cut, mingling with the rain and your tears.

Tears. Are you really that panicked?

Calm down, dumbass.

You're okay. The only thing that looks bad is one of your feet, which is good- it could've been
so much worse. Levi shoved you out of the cart, and apparently one of your feet just didn't
clear it. Fine. You can work with this.

"Levi," you say hoarsely, reaching out to him and clutching his cloak in your trembling
fingers. "You- you dumbass. You saved me."

He's passed out, and even if he was conscious, you're not sure what he could do. You need to
get help for both of you- this isn't something you can handle here and now with no supplies.

Would there be any salvageable supplies back from where Levi set up camp? Maybe. But
even if there were, how would you get there? The horses don't sound like they're in any
condition to move. You can barely crawl- you've had to resort to dragging yourself around-
and you've got no idea how far away the camp was. Can you risk waiting until you've
recovered enough to walk?

...would Levi even be alive by the time you got back?

God. You can't even fathom it.

Your only saving grace is that the rain is clearing up. Like some cruel joke, the clouds are
parting to show a beautiful sky, the rain fading away.

A weak laugh bubbles up in your throat. This is it, then? Fate's decided that it'll give you one
last look at the sky before you die?

We fight fate, and we win.

You swallow hard. You can't give up here, not while Levi is in bad shape next to you. It
doesn't matter that he might bleed out within the hour; it doesn't matter that there's probably
too many internal injuries to treat. None of it matters.

You don't have a choice. You have to fight.

But how can you do that without Levi?

You hold back a sob as you reach for his face. Your wedding ring feels unusually hot on your
finger as you stroke the side of his cheek, blood smearing across your fingers and your hand.
His face is so bloody...

"I can't do this without you," you whisper, blinking blood and tears out of your eyes. "I can't,
I can't..."

The adrenaline's fading and the pain is catching up with you. You're going to pass out again.
You can't- passing out means Levi could bleed out.

Wait- wait, are those horses?

You lift your head up as high as you can. Yes, there's horses approaching in the distance.
Allies? Enemies? Will they help or finish you off?

Your head is swimming.

Fuck.

Desperation claws its way up through your throat. "I need you, Levi," you sob, clearing some
of the blood from his face with your thumb. "I need you."

I can't go on without you.

You need him, yes, but you're going to have to handle this one on your own. It's most likely
the enemy coming over that hill; your allies are few and far between. You can't take the risk
of those being the Jaegerists- they'd take the opportunity to finish you off. You need to hide.
But where? The nearest cover is the trees, but there's no way either of you could make it
there.

Then you realize- the river. You're half in it already.

Thanking whatever gods are out there that Levi's only five foot three, you start inching
backwards into the water and pulling Levi with you. Water fills your boots. The mud makes it
easy to slide into the river, and even with next to no strength, you manage to slide Levi into
the water with you.

You cradle Levi to your chest, knee-deep in water, and sink down, hiding behind some of the
longer grass. His head tips against your chest. Now, even if you pass out, the water's shallow
enough that you can hide in the grass and (hopefully) not drown. Surprisingly, the water's not
even that cold- at least not compared to how it felt when you were shivering in the rain.
We can do this. We can do this. You exhale shakily, spots clouding your vision.

People are shouting. You squint and nearly groan- it's the Jaegerists. They must've gotten
Hange to tell them where to go. You watch as soldiers hop off their horses and stalk towards
the abandoned cart and wreckage, guns raised. For the first time, you notice a titan by the
cart. What's it doing? Where'd it come from? Didn't Levi kill all of them? Your eyes scan the
troops, all armed.

And then you see Hange.

You nearly sob with relief. An ally. But Hange looks stiff and tense, and they aren't leading
the troops- they're following. Hange's temporarily cooperating, you muse, edging a bit
further into the water. The current is pretty tough... maybe you could just let the stream take
you away. Even if you escape, you're going to need help, and Hange's one of the few people
you trust with no question. Could you get their attention somehow?

You don't have to- they're already studying the shore while the rest of the troops are
surveying the cart and warily eyeing the titan. You scan quickly: only Hange's looking. You
float into view and wave.

Hange sees you immediately. Their eyes widen.

Your vision is clouding. How much longer can you keep yourself awake? Your grip tightens
on Levi, who still hasn't woken up. "Please, darling, stay with me," you whisper, as if using a
pet name would actually help in any sort of way.

You slip back behind the reeds, watching Hange carefully. They're trying to angle themselves
towards you as much as they can without giving themselves away. Discretely, they gesture to
you, and then reach up and drag a hand across their neck.

To anyone else, it would look like they were scratching their neck. But you get the
message: play dead.

You kiss Levi's temple, ignoring the taste of copper on your lips. "I love you," you murmur.
Just in case.

Alright, here goes nothing.

You take a deep breath, then tip yourself onto your stomach and push you and Levi off of the
shore.

The water is a relief on your face, stinging the cut made by the thunder spear. You keep an
arm around Levi's torso, ensuring that the stream is keeping you two together. You know face
down would be a much more convincing 'dead person' act, but you're not sure how long you
can hold your breath for.

Your ears are submerged, but you can make out shouting. Then, the vibrations as someone
runs into the water. You feel a hand grab onto you- holy shit, that hurts- and you're flipped
over. You refrain from gasping for air, keeping yourself as still as possible.
Someone's head drops to press an ear against your chest, listening. "Get ready to swim," you
hear Hange whisper.

You keep yourself steady, taking as shallow breaths as you possibly can. "She's gone," Hange
says, and the defeat in their voice is desperately convincing. "Levi... oh, no, Levi..." they
murmur, and the act is so good that you're worried he's actually dead. "I've seen this before in
training. They got the thunder spear at point blank- internal organs are a mess. They both
died instantly."

"Well, that makes our lives easier," someone says. "Humanity's strongest and his sidekick,
dead at our feet."

Sidekick. Oh, fuck whoever said that.

Your blood boils, but you do nothing. You feel Hange slowly pulling you towards shore and
your heart rate kicks up. Hange, what are you doing?

"I can check a pulse for myself," someone else says sharply.

There's a pinch in your arm. Hange's boots sink into the shore and push off downstream- ah,
that's why they were headed closer to shore, to lower their guard and get a push off- and you
spring to life. Your arms feel heavy and your legs are screaming in pain but you kick
frantically, moving with the current and trusting Hange to handle your partner. You risk a
glance sideways; Hange's got Levi, swimming faster than you can manage to.

Luckily, the stream is doing a lot of the work. The current helps sweep you along as you tilt
your face up, gasping for air as you force your tired limbs to keep paddling. Gunfire echoes
around you, and through the water in front of your eyes, you see some of the soldiers
following on horseback.

Pain bursts in your arm. You don't stop to think about it; you can't spare the time or energy.
You force your limbs to move as fast as you can, wishing you knew more about proper
swimming technique. Everything's just so heavy. You're so tired, so weary...

Water enters your lungs and you choke, head dipping below the water.

Fucking hell-

Something seizes your shoulder and you flail, trying to force yourself up for air. "C'mon!"
Hange shouts. "I can't carry two of you!"

Right. Hange can't do this without you.

It doesn't matter how much it hurts. Hange needs you- and Levi needs you.

Summoning whatever strength you have left, you kick your feet as hard as you can. The
river's rounded a sharp bend and you've lost the pursuers, but you know it won't be long
before they catch up again. Hopefully, you don't have to swim for much longer: everything
hurts and you're not sure how much longer you can keep going.
You feel Hange smack your arm. Pain flares through you but you whip your head up, looking
to Hange, who's swimming on their back with Levi pulled up to their chest.

"When Levi took the cart!" they call, still swimming. "Did he follow the river?"

You nod. You don't trust yourself to get out words.

"Okay. How far up?"

"Further," you croak out, the word fire in your throat.

Hange nods, and you can see from their one good eye that they're trying to make sure they
appear confident. "We'll keep going until we're as close to the forest as we can get," they say.
"Were there supplies left? At their post?" You nod again, barely keeping your head above the
water. "Then I'll go back and salvage some. That's the plan. Can you keep yourself awake?"

You don't really have a choice, do you?

Weakly, you nod, feeling like your body is sinking deeper into the water. "You're doing good,
Logan," Hange says, forcing a smile. "Just a bit longer."

You can't even bring yourself to smile- you can't waste the energy. You let your face fall back
in the water and swing your arms forward, trying to propel yourself through the current. The
sooner you can make it to that forest, the sooner you can pass out like you've been wanting
to.

So close. So damn close...

Thank fuck for the current, because you certainly wouldn't be getting anywhere otherwise.
You're moving slower with every passing second, but Hange's slowing themselves down so
that they're by your side. There's no immediate danger, thanks to finally losing the Jaegerists-
at least, for the time being. They'll catch up, but hopefully, you've gained enough time on
them.

Eventually, Hange musters out "here" and somehow you're coherent enough to comprehend
them. Slowly, you migrate towards shore.

Coughing, you drag yourself out onto the sandbank, fingernails digging into the sand as you
pull yourself up. Getting out of the water immediately makes you feel colder, but it's the least
of your problems; your bicep burns with every movement.

Shit. You got shot.

Swallowing the bile in your throat, you glance at your arm. It looks like just a skim- you'll
survive. Hopefully.

Hange's gasping next to you, stumbling to their feet and pulling Levi's limp body with
them. He's still alive, you tell yourself as you crawl up the shore, because that's the only
thought that you can allow yourself to have. Any other situation is impossible.
"To the trees," they say, hands grabbing at Levi's arms as they pull him. "You- you keep
moving, I'll be right back."

They back up into the grass, pulling Levi with them, and you try to force yourself up onto
your feet. Everything feels heavy, your clothes weighed down by water, and blood is staining
one of your sleeves from where the bullet skimmed you. You stick one foot up, and you can
put some weight on it. That's fine. It's sore and painful, but manageable.

You try to lean on the other foot and immediately collapse down onto your knees. It's too
painful, too much white hot pain shooting up your foot and leg.

"Hange," you choke out, falling back down to your stomach on the sand.

But Hange's nowhere to be seen, not within your clouded vision. You try to crawl up into the
grass, starting to feel frantic. You're dying, bleeding out here in the grass, all alone-

I don't want to be alone.

"Hange," you cry out again, dropping your face down into the grass. You cry out again; that
one chunk of thunder spear in the side of your head digs deeper into your skull. You flip your
face the other way. "Hange..."

Please don't leave me alone.

I'm going to die alone.

Your next words come out as a croak, weak and pathetic. "Levi," you whisper. "Levi..."

You're back in that basement, trapped in that cell. Curled up against the floor, head tipped
against the ground, waiting for someone to come back and drag you into that torture room
again.

Your back stings.

Darkness rises and you let it take you, letting your brain sink into blissful nothingness.

The volunteers are filing out of the room. Floch stands at the front, smiling proudly. It's a
look of triumph that Jean hates, but he can't find it in him to do anything but kneel on the
floor, watching the world go by around him.

"Floch," Mikasa says from beside him. "Captain Levi, Captain Logan, and Commander
Hange. What happened to them?"

It's a question that they've all been dreading.

The facts are there, and they're obvious. Zeke showed up in Shiganshina; Hange, Levi, and
you did not. That means he got away- and there's no way either you or Levi would allow that
as long as you live.
As long as you lived.

"Ah," Floch says, not sounding the least bit sympathetic. "Sorry. Zeke killed them all."

Jean feels like his heart... stops.

He knows you're not. He just... he knows. But the facts are there: a literal admission from a
witness, the appearance of Zeke at the wall but neither you nor Levi, the lack of your
appearance from the Shiganshina battle at all.

But he knows you're not. He's seen you slice apart titans with busted ribs, being the only
survivor of a massacre. He's seen you after you escaped from that military torture dungeon,
bloody and disoriented, but still pushing through regardless of your injuries. He's seen you
bleeding out on the deck of a blimp, still retaining your feisty temper.

He's seen it all. And he's seen you come back from it all.

Jean glances up, meeting Floch's eyes.

There's an apprehension there. Something tentative, something that makes Jean straighten up.
He's waiting for Jean to believe him.

Floch's lying.

You're alive.

Mikasa sucks in a shaky breath next to him. Jean forces himself to look down, hoping that he
conveys some sort of misery. "Shit," he mumbles.

Floch buys it. He nods and he moves on.

Jean clenches his hands into fists.

You'd better fucking be alive, because they're screwed otherwise.

To your surprise, you wake up.

It's not like it's disappointing. Oh, you're glad you did. But you just... hadn't really expected
to. Not after collapsing in the soft grass, feeling much too hopeless for your liking.

You're not sure how long it's been, but there's still light out. You squint at the sun, mostly
blocked by some exceptionally large trees.

Levi.

Immediately, you try to sit up, but it proves to be a mistake. "Fuck," you curse feebly as you
fall back again, wincing. Everything's incredibly sore.

"Logan! Oh, thank god, Logan."

You blink stupidly. "Hange?"

Hange moves, crouching down next to you. It looks like the bottom of their cloak has been
eaten at- or maybe just torn away. Even with only one eye, you can see their relief. "You
haven't been out for long," they say gratefully, reaching for your hand. "How're you feeling?"

"Shitty," you reply, and your voice makes it sound like there's gravel in your throat. "Ow."

"I found their posting site and grabbed some supplies, but I didn't want to risk leaving you
two alone for long," Hange says, and they hand you a canister with water. You gulp it down
greedily, trying to calm the fire in your throat. "I'm planning on going back again, now that
you're awake to keep watch. I don't think anyone else will be pursuing, but just in case."

You nod slowly, trying to digest all of the information. "Levi?" you question.

"Right behind you."

Hange reaches for you to help pull you up to a sitting position, and you immediately twist
around. Hange's picked a good spot for cover: there's several thick tree trunks and bushes
blocking you from your surroundings. You can faintly make out rushing water; you can't be
that far away from the river. There's no rain anymore, and the sky is clear- at least there's that.

Your eyes land on Levi, and you have to hold back your sob of relief. Hange pulls back a
giant portion of their torn cloak that was covering his face, and your heart jumps in your
chest. The long cut over his face has been cleaned and all of the pieces of thunder spear have
been pulled away. Although his face looks painfully scarred, Hange's cleaned up the blood. It
still looks bad, and you're not sure what condition his eye will be in, but the absence of blood
makes you feel a bit better.

"Levi," you whisper, reaching out for him. It takes a bit of a stretch, but your fingertips fall
gently against the side of his face. There's another nasty cut that looks like it'll need stitches.
The large cut across his eye has extended across his lips on its way to his chin; you resist the
urge to touch it.

You turn back to Hange. "He'll be okay?"

They shrug, then nod. "Would've killed anyone else. That's an Ackerman for you."

You swallow hard, withdrawing your hand.

"Did he take the brunt of it?"

Blinking rapidly, you nod. "He pushed me out of the way."

Hange nods along. "What happened?"

Some amnesia would really be good right about now- you wish you didn't remember. "I
found the post where the scouts were set up," you say, voice cracking. "Dozens of dead titans.
I grabbed myself gear and followed cart tracks until I... until I found Levi. He- he had Zeke
tied up with a thunder spear in his stomach, and the... the cord was wrapped around his neck."
They inhale sharply. "Zeke set it off himself."

You nod miserably. "...Yeah. We didn't realize until too late."

Silence falls.

"How badly injured am I?" you ask softly.

Hange gives you a reassuring smile. "Just a couple more scars for the collection," they joke.
"Only one piece of spear to the head, and it was tiny, so no worries there. You got hit by a
stray bullet, but it only skimmed your bicep." You glance at your arm; it's wrapped with a
chunk of fabric torn out of Hange's cloak. "Legs had a couple pieces of spear, but I got your
gear off and wrapped up the cuts. I'll redo 'em later. Your foot's the worst of it," Hange
continues, and you glance down at your legs. Hange's pulled your gear and boots off. There's
scraps of green fabric wrapped around different sections of your legs and another part of
Hange's cloak is wrapped around one of your feet.

"How bad?"

"I pulled out a couple of pieces of thunder spear," Hange admits, and you instinctively curl up
your toes. "...And you're missing a toe."

You blink. "Missing a toe?"

"Yeah."

"Well..." you trail off, not quite sure what to say to that. "Wow. Okay."

"Walking might be painful, but Levi's worse off than you are. He took a lot of the heat of that
explosion, and it's a good thing he did- it definitely would've killed you. He'll be out for a
while, at least." You swallow the bile building up in your throat. "Are you good to stay awake
and keep watch so that I can go grab supplies? I'm going to see what there is to salvage of
that cart of yours."

You nod. "Yeah. I can."

"Perfect. Here." Hange hands you a rifle, and you raise your eyebrows. "Two pursued," they
say, their voice low. "So we've got two."

Ah. Hange killed them.

You don't say anything else on it. You take the gun, nodding to Hange. "I'll stay awake," you
promise, even though you're not sure it's a promise you can keep. "Can I help?"

"I don't even know if you can walk yet," Hange confesses. "Just stay here and keep an eye on
him for now. I won't be long."

You nod again, then meet Hange's eye. "Thank you," you say gratefully, blinking to keep
your tears at bay. "We- we would've died without you."
Hange smiles wryly. "Of course."

They take off, jogging lightly through the trees, leaving you to sit in the grass next to Levi.
You clutch the rifle to your chest, scanning your surroundings. It's still much too open for
your liking, but there's really not much you can do about it.

You look back to Levi. He looks calm- like he's having a decent dream rather than just being
passed out.

Carefully, you shift yourself across the grass to try and move closer to him. Without Hange,
the two of you might've bled out on that riverbed- or worse, been discovered by the Jaegerists
and shot to death.

God. Both you and Levi could've easily died there.

"We fight fate," you muse to yourself, reaching for Levi's hand. His wedding ring is still
there- you're forever grateful for how snug the rings are. "And we win. Right?"

Of course, Levi doesn't reply.

Well, no harm in talking to him. You have to keep yourself sane somehow. "You saved me,"
you say, twisting yourself so that you can lean back against a tree. You keep your pinky
finger locked with his. "I would've died if it wasn't for you. Probably."

He looks so pretty. Even with half of his face hidden by Hange's cloak.

"I'm sorry," you say, because even if he wasn't awake to hear you panic earlier, you still feel
like you need to say it. "For even thinking about giving up. I don't know what I was
thinking."

That's a lie.

I was thinking of life without you.

You sigh softly, stroking your thumb across the side of his hand. "I don't have a life without
you," you murmur, tipping your head back against the bark of the tree. "I can't lose you."

You tip your head sideways, glancing at him.

"Thank you," you whisper. "For not leaving me."

You lean in slowly, your sides aching, and press your lips to Levi's forehead. He doesn't stir,
which nearly makes tears spark in your eyes, but you keep yourself composed. Despite
Hange cleaning up the blood, there's still a faint coppery taste against your lips. You squeeze
your eyes shut, a migraine pulsing at the front of your head.

His skin is warm beneath your lips. "I love you," you murmur.

You hope he can hear you.

After a while, Hange comes back. You're tired, but you spent the entire time they were absent
holding onto Levi's hand and drawing small circles onto his skin, which effectively kept you
awake. Hange's dragging a giant tarp that they've piled high with supplies. "Got a lot!" they
say, huffing as they drop the edge of the tarp. "I'm going back for a second trip."

"Let me help," you suggest.

This proves to be an awful idea, because as soon as you try to stand and put weight down on
your bad foot, pain flares up your leg. "No!" Hange snaps, jogging over to ease you back
down. "Let me wrap that first."

Biting your lip, you lean back against the tree, trying to relax. Hange retreats back to their
tarp, then returns with a kit that they must've salvaged. You stick out your leg and Hange
starts peeling away their torn cloak, making you wince. They pull it all away and you get a
quick glance at your foot before you look away- yep, your pinky toe is gone.

Could be worse, you tell yourself. Could be worse.

"I'll be able to walk?" you say, looking at Levi instead of Hange.

"Yeah, nothing permanent besides the toe," Hange confirms, and you feel something cold
press against your foot. You wince. "Sorry! That's the disinfectant. But yeah, it'll be painful
for a while but you'll be able to walk. We can make you a crutch or something for the time
being."

A crutch. "Fun," you say dryly.

"Aw, c'mon. It's another weapon for you to hold."

You can't help it; you laugh. "Fair enough."

Silence falls for another minute; then, Hange grins. "Done!" they say proudly, patting your
foot. "Just don't really walk on it for a bit, give it some time to rest."

"Yes, Commander," you say with a roll of your eyes.

"You called me Commander?" Hange asks, grinning. "I get the honor? I don't think you ever
told Erwin that."

Your smile fades. "Guess not."

There's a pause. Awkwardly, Hange clears their throat, and they shuffle by you to move up to
Levi's face. "I'm going to stitch him up," they say. "You want to help?"

The idea of watching your husband's face get sewn back together isn't exactly your idea of a
good time. Your stomach feels like it's twisting itself into knots. "I'll pass," you say, your
throat tight. "I'll look through what you brought back and see what I can help with. Do you
need my help, or-"

"I'll be fine," Hange confirms. "There should be a tent in there somewhere."

You nod, and you very slowly pull yourself to your feet. Hange's got an eye on you as you
test out your wrapped foot, seeing how much weight you can put down and what parts of
your foot hurts most. "I'm fine," you insist, knowing that Hange's watching you.

They hum in reply. "I know."

You hobble over to the tarp, more hopping on one foot than anything else. When you get to
the supplies, you crumple to the ground, surprised at how exhausted that ten meter trip made
you. Your foot aches, so you kick it out to let it relax. If you want to be as helpful as possible
to this war that you know you've got to go back to, you need to be at your best.

You drag the tent off of the tarp and start putting poles together from where you're sitting on
the ground. You glance up to Levi and swallow your bile as you watch Hange stick a needle
through his face, then turn back to your tent poles.

Hange's grabbed plenty. Supplies to make a fire, a small kit that looks like it's going to hold
rations, and a few rolled mats. You struggle with the tent poles and the tent until Hange
returns to take over for you.

"Why don't you wrap his face, then go get his shirt off?" they suggest. "Check to see if there's
anything we need to worry about injury-wise."

You nod, cursing yourself for how little you're able to help, and awkwardly hobble back over
to Levi.

The stitches that Hange put in look professional- you wonder if they've ever had to do it
before. Your throat feels painfully tight as you dig through the medical kit, pulling out
bandages and trying to gently wrap Levi's face. There's so much you have to cover...

Swallowing hard, you start winding bandages over his eye and his forehead, and then across
his cheeks and his mouth. It hurts you to have to take care of him like this but you know you
don't have a choice. With trembling fingers, you press down on the bandages, making sure
that they're on firmly but not too tight. Everyone had gotten basic medical training back in
training and then again before the invasion on Marley, but you've never really had to use it
before.

Slowly, you unbutton Levi's shirt, then heave a sigh of relief- no visible damage. He might
have some internal bleeding for all you know, but nothing you can see. "All good!" you yell.

"Good!" Hange calls back, and you glance at them to see that they're messing with the tent
poles. "Almost set here, and then I'll make a fire."

You nod, then turn back to Levi. Carefully, you start loosening the straps of his gear, trying to
pull it off of him. Your gear is already gone- Hange mentioned something about pulling it off
so that they could look at your legs- and tossed in a heap next to one of the nearby trees.
Hange's already removed Levi's scabbards, but the straps take you a while. Eventually, you
pull all of his ODM gear off and you toss it away.

"Pass a blanket?" you call over your shoulder.

Hange throws two over to you. You roll one out, then carefully shift Levi so that he's laying
on top of it, then roll out the other blanket to go over top of him. You grab a discarded cloak-
looks like Levi's- and roll it up, tucking it under his head.

"He all set?" you hear Hange ask.

You turn your head. Hange's got the tent set up and is starting to pull wood towards you.
"Yeah," you say. "What can I do?"

Hange nods to you. "You can rest so that I can properly clean up those cuts on your legs."

You glance down at your legs, frowning. Hange's wrapped sections of your legs with their
cloak, so proper treatment wouldn't hurt. "Fine," you agree, kicking your achy legs out in
front of you. "Why didn't you suggest it earlier?"

"Would you even have considered letting me treat you for non-threatening injuries before
Levi was all set?" Hange asks, quirking an eyebrow at you.

You pause. You'd allowed Hange to fix up your foot so that you could be as helpful as
possible when making sure Levi was okay- you probably wouldn't have let them try and
clean up your minor injuries while Levi was in need of help next to you. "Guess not," you
say, shrugging. "Thanks."

Hange shuffles next to you and pulls out a small knife. "Cut off your pant legs," they suggest.

You raise your eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"It's that or take your pants off. Don't worry, I'll find you extras from the camp."

With a sigh, you accept the knife from Hange and start slicing through the fabric of your
pants, just above the very first wrapped cut on your thigh. Hange starts undoing all of the
makeshift bandages so that you can get your torn pantlegs off, and then pulls out the roll of
bandages. You glare at the cuts on your legs: one nasty one on your thigh and a few smaller
ones on the sides of your calves. It doesn't look... awful, at least.

Hange helps you worm out of your torn pant legs, then sets to work wrapping up your cuts.
The big one on your thigh might need stitches, but Hange used the equipment they had on
Levi's face, so you settle for just wrapping it instead.

"Shirt off," they command.

You groan. "That too?"

"Or I tear a sleeve off."

You pull your shirt off, taking the scrap of cloak with it, and you glance at your arm; the
bullet truly did just graze you. The commander wraps a bandage around it anyways, and you
pull your shirt back on, rolling your shoulders.

"Feel okay?" Hange asks softly.

You shrug. "Yeah. Fine."

The commander studies you warily, then accepts your answer with a nod. "Alright. You good
to keep watch again so I can make another run back to the post?"

"Yeah. Anything I can do in the meantime?"

"You can rest," Hange says strictly. "That foot isn't going to heal itself."

You pinch your lips together. "Alright."

Their eyes soften. "Keep an eye on Levi," they murmur. "He doesn't look like he's planning
on waking up anytime soon, but with him, who knows."

"Of course."

And with that, Hange's gone again, heading back in the direction of the destroyed outpost.
You lean to the side, reaching for the rifle that Hange gave you, and you pull it into your
chest. You'd done basic training with how to shoot these things, but you weren't always very
accurate with them; you very much preferred your knives.

You shuffle closer to Levi. "We'll be okay," you murmur, more for yourself than for him.
"We'll be okay."

You'll be okay. Both of you.

Hange comes back sometime later with pieces of a broken cart; their plan is to repair it so
that they can cart Levi (and you) around. You don't want to make Hange tow you around as
well, so you start digging through the materials they brought you to see if you can fashion a
crutch of some sort. You want to be able to walk- you're useless to Hange if you can't.

Hange starts up a fire while you start trying to make a crutch. Eventually, they have more
success then you do, and a fire is blazing. "Get over here," Hange orders. "Relax."

You scowl. "I'm close to figuring this out-"

"We're not going anywhere anytime soon, Logan. Get over here."

Sighing, you abandon your attempts at engineering and force yourself up to one foot. You
awkwardly hobble over to where Hange's sitting on top of a crate, and they've pulled up a
second one for you. With a groan, you sit yourself down, curling your toes as you wince.

Hange raises their eyebrows at you. "Feeling alright?"

"Fine."

"Don't lie."

"Fine," you insist, flexing your foot. "It hurts like shit, but I've had worse. I'll be running
again in no time. And I don't really need functioning feet for gear- as long as I can flex my
feet to move the straps, then I'm good."

Hange stares at you for a minute, then looks over to the fire. "So you're already thinking of
going back."

You blink, surprised. "You're not?"

They sigh, crossing their arms and letting their folded arms rest on their knees. They look...
tired. "We can't stop Zeke on our own, not like this," Hange murmurs, and you can see the
reflection of the flames in their glasses. "What can we do? We have to trust Commander Pixis
and Armin. We can't do anything from here, not in this state."

You're not sure what you're seeing here: realism or just plain pessimism. Either way, you stay
quiet, not sure what you could say to make Hange feel any better.

"Eren and Zeke will just use Zeke's spinal fluid to control the whole island," they continue
softly, pressing a hand to the side of their head. "Even if Eren betrays Zeke or anything like
that. The Jaegerists will still use that spinal fluid to control the whole island. We'll be on the
run for the rest of our lives."

On the run for the rest of your lives- however much longer that is.

From the sounds of it, Hange has dropped the idea of trying to help stop Zeke and Eren all
together, and you don't really blame them. What could the three of you- one still unconscious,
one injured and unable to walk- do against Zeke and Eren?

But you're not alone. You never have been.

You think back to the restaurant. You've got your squad: Sasha, Connie, Jean, Armin, and
Mikasa. And Eren...

"You know," you remark casually, "I ran into Eren in the hallway back in the restaurant."

Hange's head jerks up. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. When I left to go get a horse."

"What'd he do?"

You shrug. "He talked. He, uh..." you trail off. "He told me something about my family
history. I'm not sure whether to believe him or not."

They shift on their crate, a curious look in their eye. "Well, what'd he say?"

You shrug again. "Just some shit about seeing things through the founding titan. And, well...
who knows if that means it's true or not. But he said that the tree on that farm? You know, the
one that we guessed has memory-deteriorating fruit?" Hange nods. "He said it was placed
there to try and erase the memories of the Ackermans, since they were the only clan that the
king couldn't directly compromise himself."
Hange doesn't seem surprised or confused. Instead, they just frown, lips pinched together and
clearly deep in thought. "It makes sense," they murmur. "So I guess it didn't work, since it's
never mentioned in any history books or whatnot?"

"Didn't work," you confirm. "And the tree stayed."

"Was he trying to turn you against Levi?"

"...Guess so." Hange's stare stays on you, and you roll your eyes. "Oh, come on. Anyone with
half a brain should know that we're smarter than that. I'm not going to be mad at Levi for
something he had no control over."

They smile softly. "Of course. You two are too close for that."

You smile in response, eyes flickering back to the fire. The flames are a brilliant orange color,
mimicking that of a sunset. You continue to stare at it, unwilling to look away. It's quite
pretty.

"Maybe we should just live here together," Hange says.

Your lips twitch. "Stay here and live in Hell Forest?" you muse quietly, twisting your
wedding ring around your finger. "There's some irony in that."

To your surprise, Hange laughs weakly. "Yeah."

The fire crackles, and both of you fall silent for a moment. Eventually, you speak up again.
"Levi and I talked about it once," you say. "Running away and leaving it all."

"Yeah?" Hange says, tipping their head to look at you. "When?"

"Years ago. When he proposed." You keep your eyes locked on the fire, smiling softly. "We,
uh... we talk about a teashop," you say quietly. "Running away from here, finding some place
where nobody knows us, and owning a teashop. Live the rest of our lives like that."

The both of you are quiet for a moment. A piece of wood falls down in the fire.

"So why haven't you?" Hange asks.

Your smile wanes slightly. "He told me that if I asked him to, he would," you recount, sighing
softly to yourself. "But he knew I'd never be able to. Not when..."

You trail off. Hange speaks up. "Not when you think you can make a difference here. Not
when you're addicted to the action."

You raise your eyebrows. "Sorry?"

"You know, I thought about it a lot in the last month, after Jean came to me with a report of
you pulling some reckless stunts and laughing during the battle," Hange recounts, eyes
focused on the flames. You stiffen up. "I know you've been thinking about it too. I think
you're addicted to it. You know, the adrenaline rush that people get when they fight."
You don't reply. They're not wrong, exactly, but...

"It reminds me a bit of... well, your dad."

Your eyebrows shoot to the top of your head. "Excuse me?"

Hange glances up at you and recognizes your anger immediately. "Look-" they start.

"Low blow, Hange," you say angrily, more surprised than angry. That comment felt like it
came out of nowhere. "Low blow."

"Hear me out," they say. You're fuming to yourself and don't say anything else, so they
continue. "He was focused. Driven. Pursued you for years and relished in the moments he
actually had you. Right? You're motivated, determined, and you enjoy the thrill of the fight.
From what you told me about him, he does too."

"So you're calling me a murderous psychopath."

"No, I'm not. I'm saying that the enjoyment of the action might run in the family."

Hange doesn't say anything else to elaborate, so you glare at the fire, trying to control your
frustration. You have to remind yourself that Hange's not trying to be mean; they're genuinely
trying to help you understand yourself. They're not attacking you; you don't need to get
defensive. Hange's your friend.

"I had it worked out to control," you say finally.

They glance up at you. They stay quiet.

You continue. "I just thought that maybe it's because that's what I'm good at," you muse. "I
can control what happens on the battlefield, when we fight the titans. The politics, the
negotiations, that's out of my hands- but in the action, I'm in charge, because I know I'm one
of the best ones out there."

"Could be it," Hange agrees.

"Or maybe I really am addicted to it." You pause. "Maybe I was."

"Was? You don't think you are anymore?"

You shrug, turning around to glance at Levi. He's fast asleep. "I forgot there were stakes,"
you say quietly. "I forgot we could get hurt."

Hange doesn't reply to that. Your shoulder itches.

"I'm sorry," you murmur. "I can't stay out of the action, not with so many of my friends' lives
at stake, but... I don't think I'll enjoy it nearly as much anymore."

The commander doesn't reply. You glare down at your foot, bound tightly in white bandages.
"And for all your talk," you add eventually, "I know you can't stay out of it either."

Hange glances up at you. "Yeah?"

"Otherwise, you wouldn't have brought back stuff to make a cart." You finally look at Hange-
your best friend- and frown at them. "I can't even imagine trying to run and hide for the rest
of my life when I know I can make an impact somewhere out there. And I know you're the
same way."

"I guess so." Hange shrugs loosely, looking back to the fire. "This would be a pathetic way to
die anyways. I'm looking for a blaze of glory."

You grin. "Yeah. Something fancy."

Hange snorts. "Never thought I'd hear you describe death as fancy."

"And I never thought I'd hear you talk about death so lightly."

"Ah, well..."

Their smile dips. You stiffen up, suddenly a bit more on edge than you were a moment ago.

"I think we've all thought about it," they say softly. You keep your eyes locked on the flame's
reflection in their glasses. "Dying. Hoping that your death means something. I think... I think
everyone wants their death to have some meaning, you know? To go out doing something
important."

"Well, I don't think anyone really wants to die for nothing," you say, pursing your lips.

"Yeah," Hange agrees. "I guess so."

You're quiet for a minute, trying to think of what to say. "Have you ever thought you were
going to die?" you ask quietly.

Hange nods. "Once."

"When?"

"Shiganshina. When Bertolt transformed."

You pause again, trying to collect your thoughts. This conversation feels like you're walking
on a tightrope. "Moblit saved you," you recall, and Hange doesn't reply. "How'd you feel?"

"Devastated," Hange says immediately. "Because I was the only one alive."

"And you pushed on," you say firmly. "You came back, and you helped us take down Reiner.
We couldn't have done that without you."

They don't say anything for a minute while.

Your heart twists in your chest. "You're our commander," you say quietly. "We need you. We
always do."

Hange doesn't reply.

"I need you," you manage.

Hange's good eye flickers over to you. "And you?"

"And I what?"

"Have you ever thought you were going to die?"

"Oh, plenty of times," you say with a wry smile. "I don't have the best of luck." Hange's lips
twitch, and you count that as a victory. "If you wanted an actual number, well..." you trail off,
thinking. "Maybe four times."

"Four," Hange echoes. "When?"

Your smile dies. "That expedition outside the walls where Annie took out the entire right
flank and I was the only one left. In that military dungeon, years ago," you recall, and your
back suddenly feels warm. "I was convinced that I was going to die on that bench. And when
I got shot in the blimp. That hurt like a bitch."

Hange smiles softly. "And the fourth?"

"A couple of hours ago," you admit. "When you found us on the riverbed."

They narrow their eye, seemingly deep in thought. "I don't think you would've died," they
say. "Maybe from blood loss, but it would've taken you a while. And I think you would've
patched yourself up before then."

"And Levi?"

Hange pauses. "Honestly, I'm surprised he survived at all. But... well, I'm not sure."

You nod, your throat tight. "Yeah. I thought he was dying- and that made me feel like I was
dying."

They don't say anything to that. Hange keeps their eye trained down on the fire.

"If you hadn't been there to help us," you continue hollowly, "I guarantee the Jaegerists
would've shot us, and we'd be dead anyways. He's alive because of you- and so am I. I don't
know what I would've done if he..."

You trail off, but you know you don't need to finish. They know exactly what you mean.

"And the same goes for you," you add. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."
Finally, Hange meets your eyes. There's a sorrow in their gaze that you understand, and the
weight of their look sinks down onto your shoulders. It feels like you're communicating with
so much more than just words.

You smile softly. "Levi and I have this saying," you say quietly. "When things get difficult
and sometimes feel impossible. We say that we'll fight fate, and we'll win." You laugh to
yourself. "Well, he came up with it, honestly. But I love it." You look over to Hange again. "It
doesn't matter who we have to fight and what we have to deal with. We'll fight fate, and we'll
win. Fuck fate."

Hange chuckles, and they look a bit more relaxed now. You smile to yourself. "Fuck fate,"
Hange echoes. "I'm going to build a damn cart."

"That's the spirit," you say, grinning. "Can I help?"

"You can sleep," Hange says. "You're right- we've got to fight. You need all the rest you can
so that you're good to go."

You're not really in the mood to argue. "Alright," you relent. "I'll sleep."

They nod, content with your answer, and you push yourself to your feet. You hobble
awkwardly over to Levi, who still seems as serene as always. You collapse next to him,
looking up to the trees.

The thick branches and leaves conceal most of the sky. If you look outside the forest, you
think you can make out a few tiny stars in the distance.

"You're not missing much," you muse to yourself, grabbing Levi's shirt to fold up and use as
a pillow. "Not many stars tonight."

Of course, Levi doesn't reply.

You sigh softly, laying down next to your partner. You scoot towards him. "I love you," you
murmur, already starting to drift off. "I'll see you soon."

With the crackle of the fire in the background, you fall asleep.

My name is Eren Jaeger.

You bolt upright.

You're not laying in the forest, surrounded by trees. You're laying on sand, sand that seems to
stretch out for miles and miles. It's soft, like a cushion, and you have to resist the urge to
simply sink into it and fall back asleep.

How did you get here?

I now speak to all subjects of Ymir by way of the founding titan's power.
That's Eren's voice. God damn it, that's Eren voice- what happened? What's going on?

Every wall on the island of Paradis has been unhardened. All the titans buried within them
have begun to walk. My goal is to protect the people of Paradis, who bore and raised me.

Eren. What's he doing? He's inciting the rumbling- but with every single titan within the
walls? How many even is that?

But the world desires the extinction of the people of Paradis. Over countless years, their
hatred has grown beyond this island. They surely will not stop until they have killed every one
of the subjects of Ymir. I reject their desire.

"Eren," you whisper.

The titans of the walls will trample and rumble all the lands beyond this island. Until the
lives there are eliminated from this world.

And then you're back.

You're back in your spot next to Levi, laying in the grass, a folded shirt nearby that was
acting as a pillow. "What the hell," you whisper, turning your head to try and gather your
surroundings.

Hange is a ways away from you, working on repairing one of the cart wheels. They turn
around to look at you, and their eye is wide. "Did you hear that?" they ask, and relief
instantly strikes you- so you're not crazy.

"Yeah," you confirm. "Eren?"

"He's going to kill everyone," Hange says hoarsely. "What was..."

Both of you pause, trying to digest what you just experienced. Then, there's a groan from
next to you.

You inhale sharply, heat sparking in your eyes as Levi eases himself to his elbows, blanket
slipping down to his stomach. "The beast," he grumbles, and the sound of his voice is enough
to nearly reduce you to tears. "That piece of shit. Where is he?"

"Take it easy," you order, and you shift so that you can help him lay back down. "Oh my god,
Levi. How're you feeling?"

His eye- the only part of his face not covered by bandages- flickers to you. "Shitty," Levi
mumbles, but he lays back down. "Your foot?"

"My foot?" you repeat.

Hange scuttles over, moving to Levi's other side. "You could hear us, then? While you were
unconscious?" they guess, clueing in faster than you can. "Rest, Levi. I'm sure you want
revenge, but for now..." they trail off.
Levi hasn't shifted his gaze from you. "How bad?" he asks.

You swallow hard. "Your face is pretty messy," you admit, reaching one hand around to hold
the bandaged side of his face. "You- you took a lot of the explosion, so you're going to be
weak for a while, but your face is the only lasting damage, I think-"

"Not me," he interrupts. "You."

"Oh." You pause. "A couple cuts, nothing that won't heal. And a lot of thunder spear pieces in
one of my feet, so... I won't walk right for a bit, but hopefully not for long. Bullet skimmed
my arm. And... I'm missing a toe."

"You're missing a toe," Levi repeats, his voice hoarse.

You nod.

There's a pause, and then Levi's eye shuts. "Good thing I don't have a foot fetish," he
grumbles.

There's another pause.

Then, you can't help it: you laugh. You clap your hand over your mouth immediately, but
Hange lets out a chuckle next to you and it sets you off again. You start laughing, laughing
until your chest hurts. It must be contagious, because Hange can't stop grinning next to you.

"I love you," you say with a grin, leaning in to kiss Levi's bandaged forehead. "Thank you for
that."

"Wasn't a joke, but fine," is his reply.

"I'll keep working on that cart," Hange says, still smiling.

You watch as the commander gets up and heads back over to the broken scraps of cart. You
smile to yourself as you watch them go, then turn back to Levi. You're leaning on your side
next to him, elbow propped up under you with your other hand holding the side of his head.
Your wedding ring brushes against his bandages.

Levi's only visible eye moves to you. "It's my fault," he says.

"What now?" you reply.

"Don't give me that, L. You're like this because of me. Your foot, your toe. It's my fault."

You shrug. There's nothing to blame Levi over. "No, actually, I think you saved me," you say,
drawing loose circles with your thumb on his cheek. "Hange said something about you only
surviving because you're an Ackerman. I never could've lived through that. You shoved me
out of the way."

"Not completely," he rebukes.

"Hey, if I'd taken any of that explosion to the chest or head, then..." you trail off. "I wouldn't
be here. You saved me."

"I also put you in that position to begin with," Levi says, and you resist the urge to roll your
eyes. "I hadn't realized that Zeke was ready to die. I put us in that situation."

"You're apologizing to a brick wall," you reply. "There's nothing to say sorry for, Levi. You
never could've known."

"You did."

You blink. "Hm?"

"You warned me." Levi clears his throat awkwardly. "I wouldn't have... I wouldn't have
dropped my sword. Or moved to save you. If I had that sword in my hand, I would've lost my
fingers. So it's all you. Nothing to thank me for."

You sigh softly. When Levi gets like this, you know better than to argue with him. He's very
firm in taking all of the blame for himself, and you know full well that there's next to nothing
you can do to get him to think otherwise. It's just a part of who Levi is. As noble as it makes
him, it also makes you want to shake him sometimes.

"If a toe was the price I had to pay to save your fingers," you murmur, "then I'd do it again in
a heartbeat."

Levi stares at you for a moment, expression nearly unreadable.

Keyword: nearly. You grin. "Wow. Dirty minded much."

"That's not what you were going for?"

"No," you say with a laugh, leaning in to kiss him on the forehead again. "I'm just happy
you're okay," you say softly, your voice dropping. "You scared me."

"And you're okay?"

You nod. "I will be. Hurts less and less with every hour."

Slowly, Levi reaches a hand out from under the blanket up to your face. There's a small
bandage on the side of your head, covering your singular thunder spear cut- nothing as
extensive as Levi's full wrap job. His fingertips brush over the bandage and you lean in to his
touch.

"Remember when I joked that if I got one more facial scar, you wouldn't be able to look at
me?" you murmur. "Well, now I've got one more."

"One more," Levi muses. "And you're even more beautiful than you were before."

The genuine compliment rocks you straight to your core. You don't think Levi's ever said
anything as direct as that before, nothing so blunt and straight to the point with the purpose of
complimenting you. Obviously, he's told you that before- that you're beautiful. But for some
reason, this particular instance has caught you completely off guard.

Levi scoffs, and his fingers fall from your face. "Your mouth's open. You look stupid."

"Ruining the moment," you tease, recovering from your surprise.

You can't see Levi's mouth, but you'd like to imagine that he's smiling. Slowly, you lay
yourself down next to him, taking his left hand in your right. His ring is warm against your
fingers.

"Hange will be done with the cart soon," you muse. "You should rest while you can."

"You'll stay?"

Levi's words are so quiet that you nearly miss them. You smile to yourself, then turn your
head and kiss him on his cheek, your lips hitting both skin and bandages. "I'm going
nowhere," you murmur.

Together, you and Levi drift off again.

Hange wakes you up when the cart is done.

'Done' is really a matter of speaking. It's got two working wheels, a flat platform to set Levi
up on, and two large bars for Hange to use to attach to a horse. It takes a while to find a
horse, but there were a couple wandering the forest from Levi's post with Zeke; Hange was
able to round up two of them.

They've fashioned some sort of awkward crutch for you out of the tent poles. Hange took
some of the torn fabric of their cloak and the tarp and made some sort of flat part at the top of
the pole that's designed to go under your arm. There's a small spoke halfway down the pole
too that you can use as a handle.

It does the job. You hobble around to help Hange set up the cart, using the crutch for balance
as you relieve the weight from your foot. It doesn't hurt as bad as it did earlier, but it's still a
pain in the ass.

Together, you and Hange ease a sleeping Levi onto the cart. You're surprised at how much
he's resting, considering you've never known Levi to sleep much, but you suppose the
explosion really did take a toll on him. He'd seemed pretty weak when he'd woken up, after
all. You and Hange wrap piles of ropes around him, trying to ensure that he'll stay on the cart
and not fall off.

"You don't want to be next to him?" Hange asks.

"Oh, I do," you say. "But the cart is pretty banged up. Added weight won't help. I'll just take
the horse."
Hange nods, and they help you up onto your horse. Your crutch is tied onto the cart next to
Levi. Hange hops up onto the horse pulling the cart. "You sleep well?" they ask, squeezing
their heels around the horse to get it to move.

"Not bad," you reply, even though you're sure there was at least one nightmare in there
somewhere. You urge your horse forward, matching pace with Hange. "Did you get any sleep
at all?"

"Not really," they confess, fidgeting with the reins. "I'm sure there'll be time for it later."

Unlikely, but you're not about to rip into Hange's optimism. "Yeah. So what's the plan?"

"Not sure." Hange frowns. "We know that Eren got hold of the founding titan's power and
he's planning to wipe out anyone not on the island. If the Jaegerists have control of
Shiganshina, then we're not going to be welcome. We don't know what happened to the
squad, but I know they were against Eren's plan. They may be temporarily cooperating."

"So we find the squad," you say, "and then figure out what to do."

Hange nods. "If Eren's going across the sea to get to Marley, we'll need a blimp or a boat."

You sigh. "And the Jaegerists have probably already taken control of the port."

"Right. So we'll need back up."

You bristle. "Can't we handle it? If we find the whole squad-"

"Out of our squad, only Armin's a titan shifter," Hange interrupts. "And he's slow. You know
what our odds are."

"...yeah," you say with a sigh. You do know. They're not good.

"Look."

You look to Hange, then follow their gaze up to the sky. There's several giant aircrafts soaring
through the sky, headed towards the ocean. You narrow your eyes at them. "Marley?" you
ask, surprised. "They're here?"

"Lots of steam," Hange murmurs, eyes scanning the horizon in front of you. "Looks like he
really did it. He took all the titans from the walls."

You squint. "Is that the titans?"

Hange squints as well, grabbing the edge of their glasses. "Wow," they breathe, eye filled
with wonder. "Magnificent."

Magnificent really isn't the word you would use. You can barely make out the titans in the
distance, but they're obviously huge. If they truly were the titans that made up the walls, then
they would be almost as large as Armin's colossal titan. And there's going to be hundreds of
them.
You and Hange fall quiet for a while as you get closer. The titans become a bit easier to make
out the closer you get towards where Shiganshina should be; there's no wall to be seen, so
you really can't tell.

"You know," Hange says eventually, "if Marley is here, it might not be a bad idea to team up
with them."

Your neck snaps sideways. "What?!"

"Hear me out-"

"What's there to hear? Hange, are you crazy?"

"Logan, hear me out," they repeat, meeting your gaze. "Eren's going after their land. Eren's
their target. If anyone's changed sides here, it's us. Our interests align. And we have the ODM
gear skill and knowledge to be useful to them, to help take Eren down."

Your mouth slips open, but you can't find any words to protest. It's smart, unfortunately. But
you're not a fan.

Hange sighs. "I know, you don't like it. But it's our best shot."

"...I know," you admit grudgingly.

"You don't have to like it."

"Trust me, I don't plan on it."

You and Hange continue on in silence- although it's never exactly quiet. The ground is
shaking with every step and it feels like the leaves on the nearby trees are constantly rustling.
You can see why it's called the rumbling; it truly does feel like everything around you is
shaking hard enough to fall apart.

You keep looking back to study Levi. He's not going anywhere- you and Hange tied him in
well- but you can't help but worry about him. He's probably slept more in the past day than he
has all week.

Exhaling slowly, you turn back around, trying to focus your gaze forward. He's fine. Hange
stitched him up, you talked to him when he woke up thanks to Eren's message. You know he's
okay.

"Hey," Hange says suddenly.

You jerk your head up. "What?"

"Is that the... the cart titan?"

"Pieck?"
You follow Hange's gaze and your face immediately scrunches up. Sure enough, there's a
titan crouched down on all fours, facing the stampede of fifty meter titans as they lumber by.
There's a figure on its back- at least, you can only see one. There could be more, hidden in
the steam.

You scowl, reaching down to the rifle strapped onto your hip. "Fucking cart titan," you curse.

"Hey," Hange scolds. "Don't."

"Hange, they're going to mow us down," you say angrily. "We can't-"

"They're at as much of a loss as we are," your friend objects. "We need to show them that we
don't mean any harm."

"Maybe you don't," you mutter, hoisting up your rifle.

"Logan."

"I don't trust them."

Hange sighs. "We don't really have a choice."

You can't really argue to that. Hange hops down off their horse, handing you the reins, and
you grab onto them before letting the leather fall loosely into your lap in favor of pulling out
your rifle. Hange can be reckless all they want; if anyone makes a wrong move, you'll shoot
them.

You know that Hange probably just wanted to appear as non-threatening as possible, but you
still think they should've taken the horse. "Really putting yourself out there, Hange," you
grumble to yourself, squeezing your bad eye shut to try and aim with your good eye.

"...like you've never done anything reckless."

You straighten up immediately, turning your head towards the cart. Your lips twitch in relief
when you see Levi's good eye open, head tilted towards you. Your amusement fades as you
process his words. "Yeah, well, Hange's the one walking up to the enemy right now."

Levi's voice is raspy. "Not like you can do much with a gun."

"What'd you mean?"

"You're shit with a rifle."

You scowl. "Well, they don't know that."

Hange's still in the process of walking over to the cart titan and whoever is occupying its
back. Neither the titan nor its occupant have noticed them, but you're not sure how much
longer it is until Hange's going to be noticed.

"You're okay with this?" you murmur, eyes trained on Hange.

 "I want to kill Zeke," Levi replies, no hesitancy. "Doesn't matter who I have to work with to
do it."

Fair enough.

There's a moment of silence before Levi adds quietly, "I don't care who it is, as long as you're
there."

Your heart melts a bit in your chest. Levi's right; as long as you've got him, you two can take
on anything. No matter what condition you're in, no matter who you're forced to work with.
You've got him, so you two can take on the world- alone if you have to.

But you're not alone. You two have Hange.

And you trust them with your life.

With a sigh, you lower your rifle. You trust Hange, and you trust that they're making the right
call- the only call they can.

"Yeah," you muse, eyes flickering to Levi. "As long as you're here."

If trusting Marley is what it takes, then that's a sacrifice you'll have to make.

Chapter End Notes

Not sure how this chapter made it to 11.5k words. Wtf. Sometimes the characters write
themselves, but this time Logan got away from me, which has never happened before.
Damn.

Y'all aren't ready for next chapter... I teared up while writing it, which has never
happened to me before. Still kind of frazzled.

See you next week my loves <3

 4-6
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

By some miracle, Hange doesn't give themselves shot.

The cart titan rounds on them, nearly making you grab your rifle, but Hange somehow
manages to talk them down. Even though your heart is going a million miles an hour in your
chest, you try to place your faith in Hange and keep yourself still. Worst case scenario, this
goes badly wrong, and all three of you get killed. Best case scenario, you make new friends.

You scowl to yourself. You don't want to make friends with Pieck and whoever else is with
her- if they're anything like the rest of the Marleyans, they're going to want you dead simply
for existing.

You see Hange turn towards you and beckon to you. You see two people on the back of the
cart titan- one of them is steaming. Probably Pieck. "Here goes nothing," you mumble to
yourself, and you urge the horses forwards.

As you close in, the urge to grab your rifle becomes stronger and stronger. Your fingers feel
dangerously twitchy.

Please, Hange. I hope you know what you're doing.

Sure enough, one of the people is Pieck. Although you've only seen her in her human form
once before, when she and Zeke had ambushed you years ago, she's impossible to forget.
She's perched on the back of her titan's neck, black hair as long and tangled as you remember
it, and titan markings along her cheeks. When she meets your gaze, her eyes widen slightly
with recognition, but that's the only reaction you get from her.

The other man is, surprisingly, someone you recognize. Hange introduces him as Commander
Theo Magath, a Marleyan general, but you know him as the man who spared your life for
saving Falco. Maybe Hange's onto something- he can probably be reasoned with.

You stop the horses in front of the two of them, eyes narrowed at Magath. He's holding onto a
gun, but it's at his side, not aimed at you.

"See, that wasn't so bad," Hange says, their voice painfully optimistic. "Levi awake?"

"Yeah," you reply, eyes still locked on Magath. "Just woke up."

"Perfect."

Hange moves around to the back of their horse, trying to remove the cart. You don't move
from your position, painfully rigid. You wish you had a set of throwing knives right now;
you're much more accurate with those than you are with a gun.
Eventually, Hange's got the ropes off of the horse and unstrapped Levi from the cart, and you
see him ease himself to a sitting position as Hange turns the cart around so that he can face
Magath and Pieck. The corners of your mouth twitch upwards; despite the state he's
appearing in, his glare is still piercing.

"My goal is to kill Zeke," Levi says plainly.

Pieck and Magath don't say a word to that. They simply stare at him, waiting to hear him out.

"Our interests align," he says when neither of them speak.

"Levi Ackerman," Magath says, and he raises his gun. Your hands fly to your waist, reaching
for the rifle. "It seems that you have the strength to stand against the nine titans. But how do
you expect to dodge one of my bullets looking like that?"

Fuck this. You raise your rifle, making aim for Magath's head.

"I can't dodge any bullets," Levi replies dryly, and the calmness in his voice makes you relax-
only slightly. "But I'm presenting myself to an enemy in this sorry state. Shoot or listen. It's
up to you."

Your hands are shaking. Your finger shifts to the trigger.

Magath's eyes flicker up to you. "We'll listen before we shoot," he says, putting his gun away.
"Assuming your comrade is willing to do the same."

"Logan," Hange urges quietly.

It takes a moment- a painfully long moment for you to collect yourself before you lower the
rifle back to your hip. You hook it into the spot on your belt, scowling to yourself. "Fine."

Magath stares at you for another moment before he looks back to Levi. "You said you'd kill
Zeke. Where is he now?"

Hange answers for him. "My guess is that he's trying to win over Eren so that he can use his
royal blood. Well... win over the founding titan."

"Seems like you know all, Titan Doctor Hange," Pieck says. It's the first time you've heard
her speak, and your shoulders rise. Her voice is unexpectedly soft- she's quite calm. "Even
more than Marley. Have you seen this founding titan for yourself?"

They shake their head. "I know it's unbelievably large, and that it seems impossible to
conquer, so... we just have to do this together. Let's combine forces. You get it, right?"

There's a painful pause. Your hand lowers back to your gun.

"Fine," Magath says, and your shoulders slump. "It seems that this is our best course of
action."

"And you're okay with this, Logan?"

You glance up to Pieck. She doesn't look concerned or worried; her face is serene. She's
watching you carefully. You don't reply, narrowing your eyes at her.

Her lips twitch. "You're not my biggest fan. I think that's clear."

"I'll manage," you force out.

Pieck regards you for another minute, and you resist the urge to raise the rifle and shoot her
in the face. She'd heal, right? "We're allies, then," Pieck confirms, glancing back to Hange.
"You have a suggestion for our next course of action?"

"Gathering our allies," Hange says immediately. Clearly, they've thought this through. "We
both have people on our sides that oppose the Jaegerists stuck in Shiganshina. They could be
locked up or temporarily cooperating. Either way, we need to get them out of the city and
with us so that we can regroup and figure out our next move."

"How do you expect to grab them if they're prisoners?" Magath asks, eyebrows raising.
"That's a high scale operation. The cart titan isn't fit for stealth and the three of you don't
appear to be in ideal shape."

"I pick locks," you cut in.

Magath and Pieck look back to you. "You pick locks," the commander repeats.

You nod. "Yeah."

"And she does it well," Hange says, backing you up. "If anyone's a prisoner, she can get them
out. You're looking at some of the best thieves that this island has ever had."

"Impressive," Pieck says, and you feel your shoulders rise, "but you're injured. Aren't you?"

You glance down at your foot. It's heavily bandaged still, but besides the bandaged cut on the
side of your face, that's the only visible injury. "I'll make do if I have to," you argue, eyes
narrowed. "I can't heal like you do, but I'll be fine."

She hums. "Alright."

She's... surprisingly agreeable. Every titan shifter from Marley that you've dealt with- Reiner,
Bertolt, Annie, Zeke, even Galliard- has been difficult to barter with. Reiner, Bertolt, and
Annie spied on you for years and then ravaged the scouts- Reiner went as far as trapping you
in his mouth. Zeke's got firm ideals and nearly got you and Levi killed because of how
bullheaded he is. Galliard, although you've never met him as a human, was arrogant and
ferocious in his titan form.

Pieck is calm and, surprisingly, open to listen. Your grip tightens on the reins.

"Logan," Hange suggests. "Why don't you hop down?"

Because you don't want them to see how bad your injury is. You don't want Levi to see how
bad your injury is. You don't want to know how bad your injury is. You like being up on the
horse, where you've got a decent vantage point and where you can be closer to eye level with
Pieck, who's still perched on the nape of her titan's body.

You glance at Hange. Their one visible eye is pleading with you.

You suppress a sigh. You kick one leg over to the other side of the horse, twisting onto your
stomach and slowly lowering yourself down. You're careful to set all of your weight on your
good foot, then slowly set some weight onto the other foot.

Alright. Not too bad. Well... it's still bad. But it's better than yesterday.

Hange moves over to your side, and you see they're handing you the makeshift crutch. You
stare at it for a minute, then groan and take it so that you can put some weight down on it.
Awkwardly, you hobble over to Levi's side, using the crutch to keep off of your injury.

You meet Levi's eye. He's watching you warily.

You already know what he's thinking: that you're downplaying the injury in order to decrease
his guilt. Yes, that's exactly what you're doing- you don't need him feeling like shit for
something he can't control anymore.

Plus, you don't want to seem weak or incapacitated when sitting in front of two people who
wouldn't mind having you dead. You look from Levi up to Magath and Pieck, who are both
watching you.

"I'll be fine," you say dryly. "Nothing permanent."

"I can infiltrate tonight," Hange suggests, drawing the attention to them. "I'll get a lay of the
land and report back once I figure out where our allies are and how we can get them out."

Magath nods. "One condition."

"Sure."

"We include Yelena in the list of those we're gathering."

"Done," Hange agrees, surprising you. You look to them, raising your eyebrows. "I'm pretty
sure, judging on what Floch was saying, that the Jaegerists imprisoned all the Marleyan
volunteers," they explain. "No matter what she did to work with Zeke and Eren, she's not on
their side anymore. If possible, I'd like to get Onyankopon out as well. If we really are going
to go after Eren across seas, then he'll be a good pilot."

"Onyankopon," Pieck repeats. "I don't recognize the name."

"Gather a list of names tonight," Magath says. "We'll figure out who survived the slaughter,
both Eldians and Marleyans, and then proceed from there."

You pause. "Slaughter?"

Magath stares at you for a moment. Then, he shares a glance with Pieck. "You missed the
battle," he says gruffly, looking back to you. "Zeke turned anyone who'd had that wine into
titans in an effort to get to Eren. Marley attempted an ambush to prevent them from coming
together. As you can see, it was unsuccessful."

Your tongue feels thick in your throat. "...I see."

"Then I'll infiltrate," Hange says. "I'll find Mikasa, Armin, and Jean. Between the three of
them, we should be able to round up our allies."

"Alright," Magath agrees.

He holds out his hand. Hange reaches out and the two of them shake. You lean heavily on
your crutch, sighing to yourself. This could get messy.

Night falls soon enough, and Hange leaves to head into Shiganshina with one of the two
horses. Levi's long since passed out again, and you're not about to wake him up. He needs his
rest, especially if he's going to hop into action later like you're expecting him to.

Pieck's still resting on her titan's nape, and she hasn't stopped staring at you. Magath has
moved closer to the city, but not too far out of sight; apparently, he still wants to keep an eye
out. You know that you and Levi are at a painful disadvantage: both injured and with minimal
equipment against a titan shifter and a commander with a gun.

You've got no choice but to trust Hange. Hange has never let you down; you've got no reason
to doubt them now.

"So," Pieck says, her voice soft. "You two are married?"

You look up to her. You've been sitting on the ground next to Levi's makeshift cart, fidgeting
with your fingers and by consequence, your wedding ring.

You can trust her. You don't have a choice- you need to trust her. "Yeah," you confirm,
looking down to your ring.

"How long?"

"Three years."

"Hm." Pieck tilts her head, looking up to the sky. There's no stars out tonight, which just
makes this alliance feel all the more worrisome. The stars bring you comfort; the dead night
sky does not. "That makes more sense."

You frown. "Makes sense?"

She hums. "I don't remember that ring on your finger four years ago."

Right. "Guess not."

"Zeke was providing us with information of those on the island," Pieck continues.
"Apparently, Reiner and Bertolt told him that the best way to get to Levi would be through
you."

"What?" you say, surprised. You two weren't even openly dating in front of Reiner and
Bertolt- how would they know?

Unless, well...

You sigh, thinking of Ymir. The jokes she'd made, the quick quips of "try fucking the
corporal first" when you'd been allowed to have gear back at that Wall Rose settlement.
Reiner and Bertolt had been there, so they definitely would've overheard. Besides, they were
kids- and they were prone to gossip. Rumors probably got around.

A memory clicks, and you glance back up to Pieck. "Zeke called me Levi's weak spot," you
say. "That's where that came from?"

She nods. "Probably."

You hum in acknowledgement, glancing back to Levi. He looks so peaceful when he's
sleeping. As much as you'd love to hold his hand right now, you don't want to risk waking
him- not when he needs all the rest he can get.

You glance up. Magath is still a ways away, gaze fixed on Shiganshina in the distance. Not
that there's much to see in the dark anyways.

"So, the quick transformations," you say, looking back over to Pieck. "That's exclusive to
you?"

She stares at you for a minute, then nods. "Yes. Endurance is the cart titan's specialty. I can
stay in my form for months at a time and transform rapidly if I need to."

You nod. "Explains how you got the drop on me four years ago."

Pieck nods solemnly. You'd expected her to look somewhat triumphant or even amused, but
there's not an ounce of arrogance on her face. It bothers you- it'd be so much easier to hate
her if she was cocky. "And your gear?"

"What about it?"

"You asked about my skills. I'd like to ask about yours."

You pause for a moment. Well, there's not much she shouldn't already know, thanks to Reiner.
"We do training for three years," you say, eyeing her. "It's extensive and not everyone is cut
out for it. The gear's evolved too- it's changed since that battle four years ago in Shiganshina,
which you probably noticed."

"I did," Pieck confirms. "You don't use it, though."

You shrug. "I like the old stuff."

"Nostalgia, or?..."

"Just what I'm used to."

"The blades as well?"

You and Pieck both look over to Magath, who's returned from his watchpoint to join in on the
conversation. "Sorry?" you question, eyes flickering to Levi briefly. He's still asleep.

Magath's eyes fall to the rifle on your hip. "You two were the only ones to use blades in your
invasion," he says. "And if Reiner's information holds true, you two are among the most
seasoned veterans, so you'd be the most familiar."

"He is," you correct. "Me, not so much. But yeah. I use the blades because..."

You're shit with a rifle echoes in your head, and your lips twitch as you remember Levi's
words. He wasn't exactly wrong...

"You're not very good with a gun, are you?"

You jerk your head up to Pieck. How the hell she managed to come to that conclusion, you're
not sure. There's two ways you can play this: you can be suspicious and accusatory, driving
the rift between you even further, or...

You chuckle weakly. "Yeah. Can barely hit the side of a barn from ten meters away."

It's a bit of an exaggeration of how bad you are, but you figure being open and honest is the
quickest way to work up a bit of trust between you and the Marleyans. Admissions of
weakness always seem to go a long way.

"Never imagined an Eldian would be so willing to admit faults," Magath says.

You roll your eyes. "You really want to go into this Marleyan-Eldian bullshit?"

"You call our ancestor's history bull?"

"Yeah, I do. It has nothing to do with us."

"You can just ignore years of slaughter and slavery? The cruelties your people placed onto
us?" Magath says, but his voice is level. He's not angry- more curious than anything. "And
likewise, you can ignore Marley's continual onslaughts against your people? The hatred we
have for you?"

You shrug. "Sure."

Magath's eyebrows rise. "You say that so easily."

"Why wouldn't I? I've got nothing to do with it." You glance up at Pieck. "I don't care what
happened in the past. I had nothing to do with that- neither did Levi, neither did Hange,
neither did either of you. The only thing I care about is the war right in front of us and the
fights that I've actually been a part of- like someone throwing me into a roof four years ago,"
you mention offhandedly, raising an eyebrow at Pieck.

She smiles softly. "You seem fine now."

Your lips twitch. "No thanks to you."

Something passes between the two of you. Pieck's agreeable and quite reasonable compared
to other people you've met; you think you can trust her. Magath still bothers you, but there's
only so much you can do about that.

To your surprise, Magath says, "you saved that boy. Back during your invasion."

"You mean Falco?" you ask. "Yeah. I did."

"You know his name?"

"Yeah. I talked to him and Gabi after she shot me."

Both Pieck and Magath pause, eyes widening. "You're the one she shot?" Pieck says,
surprised. "She mentioned trying to take down a soldier. I hadn't realized it was you."

You snort. "Yeah. Another reason I don't like guns- I've been shot three times now. Not a
fan."

"Why'd you save him?" Magath asks, returning to the original topic. "It would've been easier
for you to leave the boy and flee. I could've killed you."

"You didn't, though."

He doesn't reply to that.

Sighing, you glance up to Pieck. "She was my target," you say, looking back to Magath. "Not
the kid. I don't kill kids- they've got nothing to do with my fight."

"Even though Gabi shot you?" Pieck asks softly.

"Well, that hurt like a bitch, but it's done with now. I wasn't even her target- she wanted
revenge and I got in the way."

"So you carry no grudge," Magath pushes.

You frown at him. "You sure sound like you want me to hate her."

He pauses again, caught off guard. Good- you like doing that. "It's what I expected of you
Eldians," he says eventually.

"Nah. I mean, she's annoying as shit, but I don't hate her."

Pieck laughs. It's a nice sound; you wonder when the last time she laughed was. "Sounds like
Gabi," she says, sighing. She turns to Magath. "Commander. I believe she's trustworthy."
He eyes you warily. You raise your eyebrows at him, challenging Magath to disagree with
Pieck. Eventually, Magath musters out, "I'm going on watch," and he walks away, moving
back towards the city.

You sigh, letting your head tip against Levi's cart. Your eyes flicker up to Pieck.

She nods to you. It's a mutual understanding, then.

She's not too bad, you muse to yourself. Hange was right- maybe this won't be all bad. For all
your anger that had been directed to Pieck, she's never actually spoken a word to you until
today. She's quiet, more so than you'd expected her to be, and she seems reasonable enough.

Maybe this won't be all that bad.

"You hear that?" you murmur, reaching for Levi. You brush some of his hair out of his
forehead, fingertips trailing across his skin. "This might not be so bad."

He's still sleeping- good. You hope you don't wake him.

This won't be bad. You can do this.

Hange comes back later bearing good news- they're all alive and none of your friends are in
captivity. Although you'd had no doubts that your squad was alive and well, it's still good to
hear and it makes you rest a bit easier. Hange starts hatching a plot with Pieck and Magath of
how best to get your allies out of the city- now taken over by the Jaegerists- and what
happens next.

They don't ask for your input, so you stay out of it. You'd rather sit next to Levi.

At some point, you doze off, head resting against the side of the cart. You wake up again
when the sun rises. Hange helps you up and you try walking around with the crutch; your
foot hurts, but there's a clear difference between today and yesterday. It's getting better every
day.

You think that you'd be good to use gear. It would hurt, having to flex your foot against the
strap, but you think you're at a point now where you could manage it. You can't walk without
assistance yet, but that can come with time.

Pieck leaves to go through with the plan. That leaves you, Hange, and Levi with Magath,
who you don't think has changed his facial expression since you met him.

"Who'd you see?" you ask when you finally get a minute alone with Hange.

"When I went into Shiganshina?" they clarify, and you nod. "Jean and Mikasa. Apparently
Armin was out to stop Connie from feeding that boy- Falco- to his mom. Remember how he
had that wine, back at the restaurant? Well, Falco turned into a titan and ate Galliard."

You blink. "What?"

"You didn't hear me telling Magath and Pieck earlier?" Hange asks, frowning.
You shake your head. "Pretty sure I was sleeping."

"Ah. Well, that happened." Hange shrugs. "Pieck seemed a bit upset- I bet she and Galliard
were close. But it'll help direct her anger towards Zeke."

"Yeah," you agree, still reeling slightly. Well, they'd said it was a slaughter, so... "But our
squad is okay?"

They nod. "All the higher ups are gone. Nile, Pixis. All turned into titans. Apparently the
Jaegerists and our squad cleared them all out, so..." Hange sighs. "We're really all that's left."

Oh.

"Just like that, huh?" you murmur.

They sigh again, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. "Just like that."

You glance out towards the city. "Pieck will be back soon, right?"

"Right. She'll have Jean, Onyankopon, and Yelena- assuming everything went to plan.
Everyone else is gathering supply carts and they'll move out once they know they're clear. It'll
work, Logan."

"It better," you murmur, sparing a glance at Levi. "It better."

It'll work, right? Pieck will grab them and they'll all be here. They'll all be safe and sound.

Levi wakes up mere moments before Pieck's titan comes stampeding back into the clearing,
giant jaw opening to spill three people into the river. You can't help but smile when you see
Jean, coughing as he collapses into the stream.

"They're here," you murmur to Levi.

He sits himself up; you don't try to stop him. You use the cart to stand yourself up, grabbing
onto your crutch for balance. "They're all fine?" he asks.

You nod. "Apparently."

"The cart titan can stay in titan form for months at a time, right?" Hange says excitedly,
turning towards Pieck. "Don't you ever think to brush your teeth?"

"Seriously, Hange?" you say, but you're smiling.

"...That's a very rude thing to say to a woman," Pieck says, her titan voice gravelly and rough.
It gives you goosebumps.

You glance over to Jean, who's flicking water up at Onyankopon. "You feeling okay?" you
murmur, your words directed for Levi.

"Like shit," is his deadpan reply. "You?"

"Good," you say. "I'm doing good."

You feel his gaze on you. "Good," Levi murmurs.

You look down to him on his cart and smile, hoping that he knows you're not lying- you truly
are doing good and your foot doesn't hurt as bad as Levi probably thinks it does. Maybe he
knows, maybe he doesn't- you're not sure if he'll believe you no matter how many times
you'll tell him.

There's a bunch of splashing and you glance up to the river again. Jean is lumbering out of
the water, stripping himself of his coat and shaking water from his hair. You use your crutch
to hobble forwards, grinning. "Jean!" you call.

He looks up to you, and for a second, you're taken aback: he looks angry. But then, Jean's
expression collapses, and he just looks relieved. "You dumbass," Jean mumbles.

He closes the distance with you and wraps his arms around your shoulders. You're
immediately soaked, but you're too happy to see him to care. You laugh to yourself, wrapping
your arms around his waist and squeezing tight. Your crutch falls to the ground. "Missed you
too," you murmur into his shoulder.

"Get off her, you'll make her catch a cold," Levi snaps.

Jean backs off. The damage is already done and your shirt is damp, but you're not going to
complain. "You're okay?" Jean says, reaching down to the ground to grab your crutch.

You take it from him, easing some weight onto your bad foot. It doesn't hurt that much.
"Fine," you say. "I'll be on my feet in no time."

He still looks wary, but he nods. "Alright."

You remember what Hange told you- that Jean had been concerned about your recklessness
in your battle and had expressed his concerns to Hange. Your smile fades. "I'm done being
reckless, Jean," you say softly. "I wasn't- I wasn't reckless with this one. I promise."

"It's my fault, Jean," Levi says, speaking up. You glance at him. "She's injured because of
me."

"Levi," you protest.

He's not looking at you. He's staring straight at Jean, who rolls his shoulders to relax.
"Alright," he says. "Good to see you, Captain."

Jean nods, then walks away, moving towards where Hange is. You glance at Levi, wondering
if there's even any point to scolding Levi for how readily he blames himself. No, probably
not. It doesn't really matter what you say.

Levi looks over to you. "What was that about?"

"What was what?"

"You apologized for being reckless."

Your teeth sink into your lip, and you look away. You narrow your eyes at the other two
people that Pieck carried out of Shiganshina: Yelena, still collapsed on her knees in the river,
and Onyankopon, who has pulled off his jacket to wring it out.

You glance back to Levi. He's still staring at you, waiting for you to speak.

Sighing, you sink down to the ground, sitting next to Levi's cart. "I was..." you trail off,
wondering how you're going to say this. "I was a bit reckless in that Marley invasion," you
say timidly. "And Jean called me out on it. Hange was- well, maybe you overheard, but
Hange chewed me out a bit too."

You meet Levi's gaze. He doesn't say anything.

You force yourself to hold his gaze. "It wasn't anything bad," you say quickly, trying to
defend yourself. "I- I just tried to save a kid, and Magath- that guy over there- let me go in
exchange for saving the kid's life. I mean, I shouldn't have tried to go after Pieck like I did, it
was stupid of me- someone else could've finished her off- but I did, and then the kid was in
the way, and I didn't want the kid to die, and everything worked out, so you don't have to be
mad-"

You cut yourself off, forcing yourself to exhale. You pinch your lips together, embarrassed by
your own ramblings.

"Hey."

You glance at Levi. He doesn't look mad.

"Did anyone get injured?" he asks. "Specifically because you were reckless?"

You shake your head. "No. I made sure of it."

His gaze drops to your foot. "Then you're already one step up on me."

"Levi, come on."

"I wouldn't be mad at you for something I'm guilty of myself," Levi says, looking back up to
your eyes. "I'm not a hypocrite. You shouldn't have done that, and I shouldn't have stuck a
thunder spear in Zeke's stomach and expected him to behave nicely."

You shift more weight onto your good foot, smiling weakly. "So we're both stupid."

His gaze shifts towards where Hange is reconvening with Jean. They're moving towards the
forest. "I'm going to be out for a bit anyways," Levi mutters, shifting on the cart. "Not many
stupid decisions I can make from here."

"So I have to be smart for the both of us."

Levi huffs. "Yeah." He's quiet for a moment, then, "this is our side mission. Remember?"
"Remember what?"

"We work on ourselves."

You remember. You remember coming back to him from one of the most traumatic
experiences of your life, worried about the next mission coming- so you and Levi had made it
a mission to work on yourselves. "I remember," you say softly.

He nods. "So we work on it. While we're resting."

"Right," you agree. "We do."

"Good."

You smile, like a weight's been lifted from your shoulders. You glance towards the city;
there's carts in the distance, coming towards you. That'll be the rest of your friends. "Have I
mentioned that I love you recently?" you murmur, looking back to Levi.

He looks back up to you. "You don't have to."

"Yeah, but I like to say it. I love you."

"I know."

You're about to say something sarcastic back when Levi's eyes flicker to someone behind
you. You turn to see Magath. "We're moving to the forest for more cover," he says. "Your
allies are coming with rations and supplies for a fire."

You don't miss the use of your instead of our. "Alright," you agree. "We'll move."

Magath nods, and to your surprise, he moves around to the spokes of Levi's cart. "I'll move
him," he says, and you see him wind leather straps- probably one of the horse's reins- around
the posts, giving him a handle to pull from.

Sure enough, he pulls on the makeshift straps, and Levi's cart jerks forward. You throw
yourself forward, using the crutch for balance as you hobble alongside them. "Careful, old
man," Levi grumbles, one of his hands reaching out to grip to side of the wood.

"Old man?" you tease. "You're not exactly young."

"Yeah, but at least I don't look it."

You can't help the laugh that escapes you before you cut yourself off, glancing briefly at
Magath. He doesn't look particularly mad. "Levi, we're trying to be allies," you chide him. "It
really doesn't help to insult people."

"I'll insult who I want."

"Sorry," you say, glancing up to Magath. "I don't think he's ever had a filter."
"Says you," Levi shoots from his spot on the cart.

Magath, luckily, still doesn't seem mad. Somehow, he seems almost... amused. "It's hard to
believe that you're all devils when this is what I have to go off of," he says gruffly. "It'd be
easier to hate you if you just spat some curses and made yourself more... dislikeable."

You grin. "You hear that, Levi? We're likeable."

"Never heard that one before," is his deadpan reply.

"I didn't say that," Magath grumbles.

"You basically did."

"I said you weren't exactly dislikeable."

"Yeah, so- likeable."

"You're becoming more and more dislikeable by the second."

"Logan!" Hange calls, and you glance up towards them. "Stop harassing our allies! We talked
about this!"

"I'm not harassing them!" you protest.

"Debatable," Magath grumbles.

He pulls the cart with Levi on it to a stop, and Pieck wanders over. Her titan form is large, so
she makes her own space in the trees, laying down. Almost like a pet. You roll your eyes at
the thought and look back towards the city, where the horses and carts are getting closer.

Levi lays back down, head resting on the rolled up mat acting as a makeshift pillow. You grab
the edge of the sheet and pull it up over him. "Rest," you order. "We'll work everything out."

He's quiet for a moment. "You'll stay?"

You beam. "I'm not going anywhere."

Levi's good eye lingers on you for a moment before it shuts. You lower yourself to the
ground, taking a seat in the grass and stretching out your leg. Your toes are bandaged over,
which is good- no one's going to be able to tell you're missing one unless they stare hard
enough.

You watch the carts get closer and your smile widens when you see Armin first. He shoots
you a quick smile before he hops down and starts to unload the cart, pulling out crates, mats,
and containers that you suspect hold rations. Mikasa hops out with him, grabbing spare sets
of gear- no doubt for you and Levi, considering yours was damaged in the explosion and
abandoned in order to treat your injuries.
Connie is in tow with Sasha, and you can see the heads of two kids poking out of the back of
their cart- Gabi and Falco. Looks like Connie never took his opportunity after all. Is Falco
really the jaw titan? He doesn't look any different. Then again, none of them really do.

Someone else steps out of the back and your heart seizes in your chest.

"Annie?" you force out.

The blonde looks to you. It's been over four years since you saw her last- actually, the last
time you saw her was back in the battle of Trost, when you were just trainees. You saw her in
her titan form when she trampled over your squad and nearly got you killed- and after that,
you never saw her again. You heard rumors of her crystallizing herself and being locked in a
dungeon, but that was it.

She meets your gaze. Her eyes widen slightly, and then she withdraws, almost like she's
apprehensive. The wariness fades almost immediately- probably because you're seated and
obviously injured. She'd been expecting you to pick a fight, and you're definitely tempted to.

You should be mad. You should be furious, honestly- she's responsible for so much death and
fully intended for you to be dead too.

Well... you've been making peace with a whole bunch of people who tried to kill you in the
past few days. What's one more? Besides, where would getting mad get you? It won't change
anything that happened and it'll only make everything more tense between the group, tension
that's already painfully high. You don't need to make it worse.

"When'd you wake up?" you finally manage.

Annie stares at you for a minute. Then, "not long ago."

You don't reply. Annie doesn't hold your gaze; she moves back towards the cart.

Your head is spinning, so it's a good thing you're sitting. You reach a hand up to hold onto the
edge of the cart, your fingers brushing the blanket that's covering Levi. If Annie's here, does
that mean Reiner is?

There's a patter of footsteps. You jerk your head up again to see Falco stopping himself in
front of you, eyes wide.

He struggles with words for a moment before he says, "you said I could call you Logan? If
we met again?"

You nod. "Hi, Falco."

"Hi, Logan."

"You okay? I heard you're our new jaw titan."

His expression falls. "Yeah- yeah. I don't remember it happening, but..." he shrugs loosely,
like he's had no choice but to accept it. "Are you-" Falco swallows. "Are you okay?"
You can't help but notice that some of the other new arrivals are watching you too- Connie,
Armin, Sasha, those who want an answer but are almost afraid to ask. "Yeah," you say firmly.
"A couple cuts and a bad foot. I'll be back on it soon."

Falco jerks his head up and down. "That's- that's good."

"Yeah. Thanks."

"I'm putting on stew!" Hange calls, cutting into some of the tension. There's already a fire
going; with the sun rapidly descending, it's going to become your only source of light soon.
"Everyone sit back, relax!"

You look up as Connie kicks the side of the cart. "Let's go," he calls, but he doesn't look the
least bit happy about it.

You frown. Who's left?

Someone sits themselves up in the back of the cart, groaning. A hand goes to rub the back of
their head. Blond hair. Your eyes widen, and you realize who it is before he turns around.

Reiner.

You dig your fingernails into your thigh, eyes locked on the man who you'd considered a
friend until you'd found out he was responsible for the fall of Wall Maria and the deaths of
thousands. The man who'd captured you in his god damn mouth, like he was trying to fucking
eat you.

It's a good fucking thing that you're sitting. Otherwise, you'd be tempted to march on over
and strangle him.

"We're all on the same side, Logan."

You glance up. Sasha's eyeing you, forcing a smile onto her face.

"Yeah," you echo, looking back to Reiner, who has yet to notice you. "Still trying to wrap my
head around it."

"We're stronger together," she says firmly.

You know she's right. Still, it doesn't stop you from wanting to take Reiner's head off.

He turns, and Reiner finally sees you. His eyes go wide, and for a moment, he just stares at
you- your glare of bloody murder piercing his skull. You see his throat bob, and then Gabi
helps him get out of the cart and the staring contest is broken.

God, you really wish Levi were awake. You'd love to complain to him about this- and even
better, you know he'd be right there with you.

Everyone starts to settle into some sort of circle around the fire. You're not part of the circle,
sitting a bit behind Hange and next to Levi on his cart. Gabi and Falco are seated near
Magath, with Yelena and Onyankopon sitting nearby. Reiner's cross-legged on Gabi's other
side, glaring at the fire. Annie's refused to sit, as have the rest of the scouts. They're all
standing guard over the fire, clearly suspicious.

For a while, it's quiet. The only sounds are the crackle of the fire and the clink of the spoon
inside the pot as Hange stirs the stew.

You look up to the sky. Cloudy tonight.

"You know," Hange says tentatively, "I expected more argument."

"Don't tempt them, Hange," you mutter, frowning at Gabi. You'd expected her to complain
the most, but she seems rather quiet.

"Well," Magath says, speaking up, "we wouldn't be in this situation if you island devils hadn't
protected Eren in the first place."

No one says anything for a minute. You don't know what happened in Shiganshina, but you're
not surprised to hear that the scouts were protecting Eren. How could Mikasa do anything
else? How could any of them try and do anything else?

You see Magath shrug. "It's interesting. What changed your minds? You know you'll get the
world if you just let Eren go."

That's true.

But it's like Levi said- he wants to kill Zeke. He made a pact to Erwin, something that you
know has been burning within Levi for a long time. And Levi's goals are your goals, so
you're all in.

"Like I explained, General," Hange says quietly, "none of us want genocide. We wouldn't
have scurried off to a forest to lay low and make stew if we did."

Magath's expression doesn't change. "So you're saying you finally see-"

"Can it, Magath," you interrupt. "We're not here to argue."

"I'm aware," he replies, turning to look at you. "I know I've already had this conversation
with you, and you've made it clear where you stand. I'm just interested."

There's an awkward pause.

"So you can kill him, then," Annie says, looking to the scouts.

"What?" Armin asks, confused.

You're questioning Annie's words yourself- who's she talking about?

"Can you kill Eren?" Annie reiterates.

There's a painful pause. You're glad the question isn't directed at you; you're not entirely sure
how you would answer. All five of the other scouts are avoiding eye contact, choosing to
stare at the ground instead of looking at Annie.

Mikasa, to no one's surprise, speaks up first. "Killing Eren isn't the only way to stop him."

Annie starts to speak again, and instead of listening, you turn back to Levi. He looks
peacefully asleep, which is nice- he's probably slept more in the past two days than he has in
the past month. You really want to grab his hand, but you know he's definitely a light sleeper,
and he needs all the rest he can get.

The conversation turns back to Magath, but you're no longer listening. Even if you're not
going to be involved in the next battle, you should probably be listening in on the battle
plans, but you can't bring yourself to pay attention. They'll tell you what they need to tell you;
if you start involving yourself a bit too much, you're going to feel inclined to join in, and you
promised Jean no recklessness. Best way to avoid reckless behavior is to not have any
opportunities for said behavior at all.

Like Levi said- work on yourselves. You need this time to calm yourself down. To prepare
yourself for when you're physically capable and actually needed.

Hange passes around stew. You holds yours in your hands, not eating it but enjoying the
warmth in your palms. You can hear them go over the plan- something about a plane at the
harbor to travel- but the conversation turns to how you're supposed to find Eren in the first
place.

Then they're talking to Yelena, digging for information, and even when Pieck speaks up
through her gravelly titan voice, you don't pay much attention.

You successfully manage to tune out most of the conversation until Yelena says Marco's
name.

Your neck snaps up. Jean was raising a bottle of wine to his lips, but the bottle is frozen
midair, not quite making it to his mouth. There's a new tension among the scouts that wasn't
there before, despite the previous topic being all but pleasant.

"Ah, yes," Yelena murmurs, her voice quiet but firm, "you said Annie was involved in his
death, didn't you?"

Was she? You didn't know that.

Your gaze rises to Annie, who's seated next to Reiner. Both of them are stiff. "Have you
asked her about it yet?" Yelena continues softly, clearly enjoying every second of this.
"About the truth behind his death?"

Jean sets the bottle of wine down. His gaze is dark.

"I took Marco's vertical maneuvering equipment," Annie confesses, eyes trained on the
ground. Your grip on the stew bowl tightens; you're not sure if you want to know this. "That's
why a titan ate him."

"Annie was only following my orders," Reiner says. His hands are clenched into fists, eyes
glued to the dirt in front of him. "Marco... overheard a conversation Bertolt and I were having
about something he couldn't know. We were afraid of being found out... and we thought the
best way to shut him up would be to have a titan kill him."

You don't want to know this. You don't want to hear this, but you can't stop yourself from
listening.

"I..." Reiner exhales shakily. "I slammed Marco into a roof while in the air. I held him down
to keep him form moving and made Annie take off his vertical maneuvering equipment.
Marco was there... until a titan came from behind and ate him."

Jean looks distraught. You want to move, to offer any sort of support, but he also looks like
he's about to pounce, and you feel like he'd hit you if you got too close.

"Marco," Jean murmurs. "Is there anything he said to you at the very end?"

Reiner nods. "He said 'we haven't even tried to talk this out yet'."

Oh, shit. You know what's coming.

Jean starts to speak. You can see what it is- some desperate attempt to convince himself to
remain civil, to stay in the conversation. Hange jumps in at some point, offering their own
opinion, but the conversation shifts back to Jean and Reiner eventually. Reiner's talking more,
and from the way Jean's shoulders are rising, it's still about Marco.

Sure enough, just like you'd expected, Jean launches himself up from his spot and throws
himself at Reiner. Connie and Armin try to step in, calling for Jean to stop.

Slowly, you bring your stew to your lips. It's cold.

Jean is dragged away only after Gabi lunges in to defend Reiner, pleading or something like
that. Jean shakes off the two holding them and charges into the woods, bringing his hands up
to his ears. You watch him go, lips pinched together.

"You going after him?"

You turn back to Levi, who's starting to sit up. "You're supposed to be sleeping," you accuse.

Levi grunts. "Not my fault none of you shut up."

You roll your eyes. Falco is comforting Gabi, who looks upset, and Annie is cupping Reiner's
face, which is bloodied and broken. "I think he needs some time alone," you murmur,
glancing back to where Jean's vanished into the woods.

He hums. "Alright. You going to sleep?"

You glance back at the group. Most people have started to separate, mats rolling out. "Yeah,"
you confirm. "I think so."

"Good."

It takes you a while, but you fall into a rocky sleep under the cloudy night sky, head tipped
against the cart, surrounded by unlikely allies.

You wake up when the sun comes up.

Sasha helps get you into the back of one of the carts, and then helps Connie in getting Levi
up with you. Levi wakes up but falls back asleep almost immediately upon getting nestled
into a spot in the cart, which makes you laugh to yourself.

Jean loads up into the cart with you, nodding to you. Reiner's hopped into your cart as well,
as has Annie. It's an unlikely grouping, and you still haven't spoken a word to Reiner yet, but
you don't really have much room to complain. Apparently, Jean's made peace with Reiner for
the time being- at least, you sure hope so, or else this is going to be a painful ride.

You glance up as Jean sits himself next to you. "How you feeling?" you ask.

He nods. "Better. You?"

"Fine. I'll be good to go when you need me."

"Good."

The cart jerks forward, and you look up again. Reiner's eyeing you, and when you meet his
stare, he looks away. So he's still nervous around you. Good- you know you have to harbor
your frustration for the time being, but you like that he's on edge.

You open your mouth, then pause. Then, you find your words. "Reiner," you say quietly.
"Why'd you try to eat me?"

Jean looks up. Annie's looking too. Your gaze is focused on Reiner, who's still looking at the
floor.

For a while, the only sound is the cart wheels across the ground. Then, Reiner forces out, "I...
I wasn't thinking."

"You can look at me when you're talking to me," you say quietly.

Reiner finally looks up. There's a haunted look in his eyes, one you recognize all too well, but
it's still been over four years since you held a conversation with him that was even somewhat
amiable.

He swallows hard. "I don't know what came over me," he admits. "You were- there was this
look in your eyes. Do you remember that day, the time Bertolt and I had to hold you back
from beating up that guy who you tackled out the window. Your father?" You stay quiet- you
remember that day. "You had this look in your eyes. Pure bloodlust."

You pinch your lips together, waiting for him to continue.

"You had the same look in your eyes when you were going for Bertolt, and I knew you were
going to kill him," Reiner continues, his voice low. "And my- my hands were tied, dealing
with the titans, so I..."

"You tried to eat me," you finish.

He shakes his head. "I don't know what I was thinking. I just- I wanted to save Bertolt. For a
second, I thought I'd- I'd bitten you in half, but then you started yelling, so I- I guessed you
were just sitting there. And I..."

He trails off. Your fingernails pinch into your palms.

"I just wondered," Reiner says quietly, "if we could use you as leverage. Leverage against the
only scout that we expected to be dangerous."

"Leverage against Levi," you say.

Reiner finally drops your eyes, looking back down to the cart floor. "It was an afterthought,"
he confesses. "I was more trying to save Bertolt than anything."

You nod. "Alright."

He looks back up to you, like he can't believe you're accepting it, just like that. What more
can you do, really? It's not like you're able to go back and change it. It's not like you can just
erase the claustrophobia that followed that battle, or any of the long, nightmare-filed nights
with Levi that followed it.

There's nothing you can do about it now. No point in remaining angry over it.

"Here."

You look over to Jean, frowning. He's holding his hand out to you, and in his hand are a set of
three throwing knives. "Knives," you say in surprise, gingerly accepting them from him and
sliding them into one pocket of your pants. "Thank you. Why didn't- why didn't you just give
these to me yesterday?"

He shrugs. "Didn't want to risk you taking off Reiner's head."

Your gaze shifts to Reiner, and then back to Jean. "Yeah," you muse to yourself, leaning back
against the edge of the cart. "I guess not."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Sort of. You?"

"Yeah." You know he's lying, but you don't bother calling him out on it. Jean looks over to
the horses, then back to you. "You should sleep now. Rest up that foot. It's going to be a long
trip- at least five hours."

That doesn't sound like a bad plan. "Alright," you agree. "You'll stop Reiner from strangling
me in my sleep?"

Reiner looks stricken, but Jean snorts. "Yeah. Sure."

You smile to yourself, then tip your head towards Levi. You shift yourself so that you're
laying down next to him, using a cloak as a pillow. Somehow, you know that even in Levi's
deepest sleep, you're probably safe- he'd find a way to protect you.

Knowing that Levi's right next to you, you drift off almost immediately.

"L."

"...Hm?"

"You're a fucking heavy sleeper."

You blink stupidly. The sun is painfully bright, so you give yourself a minute to adjust before
your eyes open all the way. When you finally see what's in front of you, you sit up in
surprise. "Levi," you say. "You're up."

"Yeah."

"Where's..." you glance around. A large number of your friends are missing, and there's a
cluster of some of the Marleyans- Gabi, Falco, Onyankopon, Yelena with a sling around her
arm- standing around one of the sandy hills in front of you, gaze fixed somewhere else.
"Where's everyone?" you croak out, surprised at how dry your throat is.

Levi reaches around him and pulls out a water bottle for you. As you drink, you try to focus
on where you are. Somewhere between hills in the desert area, but the lack of people means
the plan's already happening... what's the situation?

"What's going on?" you push, handing the bottle back to Levi.

He takes it from you, putting it aside. "The plan's in motion. Jaegerists captured the
Azumabito and the port. They're trying to pull off a peaceful escape."

"Peaceful?" you repeat, and you laugh. "Yeah, because the Jaegerists are about peace."

Levi's sitting on the edge of the cart, and he's finally shed the blanket and cloak that have
been covering him. His face is still heavily wrapped in bandages, but the rest of him seems
okay. Levi extends a hand to you and you take it, letting him help you up to the same ledge
he's sitting on.
You glance at the spectators, then back to Levi. "You didn't want to watch with them?"

"I was waiting for you."

"You could've woken me up."

"You needed all the sleep you could get. It's a miracle you didn't wake up through all the
shouting."

"Shouting?"

"Disagreements on what to do."

You hum softly. You think for a moment, then ask, "Armin tried to come up with a peaceful
negotiation, didn't he?"

Levi nods. "Yeah."

There's a resounding boom, and both you and Levi jerk your heads up towards the source of
the noise. It's beyond the hill, so you can't see what's going on. You swing your legs over the
other side of the cart and carefully lower yourself to the ground, gingerly testing the weight
on your bad foot. It's nothing but a discomfort now, if anything. Surprisingly, it doesn't feel
that bad.

Levi swings his legs over the side as well, watching you. "Well?"

"Good," you say, leaning more weight onto your bad foot until it hurts too much to keep
stepping on it. "I think I'd be good to go if they needed me."

His good eye narrows, then relaxes. "Alright."

You smile to yourself, then reach up for him. Levi links your pinky finger with his. "How
about you?" you ask quietly. It feels like so many people are checking up on you, but not as
many are checking on Levi. "How do you feel?"

"Still like shit," he replies. "But better."

You nod, and you straighten up. "Want to try walking?"

He shrugs, squeezing your finger before he withdraws his hand. "Sure. You first."

Yeah, he's got a point- if both of you are having trouble walking, then you're definitely not
going to be fit to help each other. Inhaling slowly, you let go of the side of the cart. Carefully,
you step forwards, trying to figure out where to put the weight on your foot to make walking
as easy as possible.

You take a few steps in a circle and then come back to him, grinning. "Fine," you say
proudly, grabbing onto the cart for balance. "I just need to put more of my weight onto the
ball of my foot and stay off my heel."
He nods. There's a slump to his shoulders- he's relieved. "Good."

"C'mon. Your turn."

Levi slowly lowers himself from the cart. You see his arms shaking, but you don't help him-
you stand right next to him, ready to assist if he needs you to. Levi balances himself against
the cart, then takes small shuffles forwards, his good eye glued to the ground.

You shuffle next to him, lips pinched together, and when Levi stumbles, you grab onto him.
"You're good, I've got you," you murmur, pulling one of his arms across your shoulder.

"This is pathetic," Levi grumbles to himself as the two of you start awkwardly hobbling
towards the onlookers.

You shake your head. "Not at all. You've seen me at way worse and haven't judged me for a
second, Levi- it'd be stupid to assume that I'd think you were anything near pathetic. You're
just recovering."

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"If you seriously think you're pathetic, then yes."

Levi stares at you for a minute. Then, he huffs. "You're ridiculous."

You grin. "You love me, though."

"Yeah, yeah."

When the two of you get closer to the group, Gabi is the first to notice you. Her smile is tight
and forced, and she slides out of the way so that the two of you can step by. You can see what
everyone's staring at: the port. It's a stretch of buildings and docks, and that boom you heard
must be the two titans in the center of the city. Reiner and Annie are swatting at Jaegerists,
who are all launching what looks like every thunder spear in their disposal at them.

It's chaos. There's people running across the streets and several unmoving bodies already
collecting in the streets. The top of one of the buildings looks like it's torn to shreds.

You exhale slowly. No peaceful endings after all.

"It didn't work," Onyankopon murmurs, eyes glued to the city. "Why must it come to all
this?"

You sigh softly to yourself, pulling you and Levi towards the side of one of the hills. The two
of you collapse to the sand, sitting down with a good view of the city. "Is anyone really
surprised?" you murmur, eyes glued to the armored titan and the female titan.

"Violence is one thing you can't take from humanity," Yelena murmurs. She turns her head
towards the two of you. "Right, Captain? Or is that plural- Captains?"
Levi ignores her, giving her nothing but a glare. You reach for his hand and squeeze, willing
to ignore her if Levi is.

There's a scramble of heavy footsteps, and you stiffen up until you realize it's Pieck in her
titan form coming over the hill. "Come on," she says. Her voice still gives you goosebumps,
no matter how many times you hear it. "I'm getting you all to the ship."

"I just sat down," Levi grumbles next to you.

Your lips twitch as you ease Levi to his feet. Onyankopon helps you and Levi both clamber
up onto Pieck's back, and you clutch desperately at the titan's hair as she shifts. You're not a
fan of being on the backs of titans, even if it's just temporary. Levi's hand on your arm does
little to reassure you.

Pieck takes off, lumbering across the sand and heading towards town. Reiner and Annie
aren't doing too well, trying to defend the ship from the Jaegerists, and Falco is quick to offer
his services as the jaw titan. Pieck tries to talk him out of it, but you can see the look in
Falco's eyes- he's going whether Pieck wants him to or not.

You wish you could. You don't have gear; as desperately as you want to help, even if you
were in prime physical shape, you'd be helpless without your equipment.

Falco takes off, and Pieck takes the rest of you to the ship. You reach for Levi's hand,
clinging onto it like a vice. If he minds how tight your grip is, he doesn't say.

Pieck drops you at the ship. Onyankopon helps the two of you get inside. The whole process
is a blur; the ship feels like a maze. He helps you to a room with a bed, then tells you, "we'll
handle the rest. You two rest up and we'll come get you when there's any sort of
development."

Then he closes the door. And he's gone.

You stare at the closed door stupidly for a minute before you turn back to Levi. His eyes are
fixed on you.

"What?" you ask.

"You hate this. Don't you?"

"You don't?" you accuse.

Levi doesn't say anything to that. How could either of you enjoy being sidelined? How could
you possibly enjoy resting while your friends are out there fighting for their lives? While you
could possibly help, if you had the right equipment?

His hands rise to his face, and you raise your eyebrows as Levi starts pulling at some of the
bandages. "They're annoying," he says gruffly, "and I don't need all of them."

Smiling softly, you move to sit next to him on the bed. Levi sighs and drops his hands,
leaving you to unwind some of the bandages. Carefully, you pull the white fabric away from
the side of his face, making sure to keep his eye and the bridge of his nose bandaged. Levi
doesn't move as you work, piling the white scraps on the mattress next to you.

Eventually, you've pulled enough away that you can see most of Levi's cheek and his mouth.
The stitched up cut looks like it's healing well enough. "Feel okay?" you ask softly, tapping
his cheek.

He nods. "I'm fine."

"Fine enough to try walking without me?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Come on."

You head towards the door and open it. From the feel of it, the boat is moving, which must
mean that the team got everything they needed and took off. No one's in the hallway, so
everyone must be on the upper deck- or on other parts of the ship. It's huge, after all. You turn
back to Levi and nod, signaling that you're safe to go.

Levi stands himself up, and using the wall for support, he moves towards the door. You walk
ahead of him as he uses the pipe along the wall to balance himself, testing his gait. You test
out your own walking ability at the same time, and it feels like you're fine to walk- it's only
really painful when you start to put weight on your heel. You can manage.

Levi's still having a bit of difficulty. Every once in a while, he has to pause to catch his breath
and straighten himself up. You stay next to him every step of the way, obviously, but it's
painfully difficult to keep your hands to yourself. You know this is something Levi has to do
for himself and he wouldn't appreciate you trying to handle him in any way. Regardless, it
doesn't stop you from wanting to act as a support for him.

"Feeling okay?" you murmur as he continues.

He huffs. "Fucking peachy."

Your lips twitch. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Fine."

"What're you two doing?"

You look up to the hallway. Armin's standing there, staring at you both in surprise.
"Walking," you say, looking from Levi to Armin. "How's the situation?"

"You two should be resting," he says, moving closer to Levi, whose knuckles are turning
white from how hard he's gripping the pipe. "We've got a while until we make it to the next
port. When we get there, the Azumabito are going to get the plane ready."
"We've done enough resting," Levi grumbles.

"How's the situation?" you repeat.

Armin looks over to you. "Magath stayed behind. Other than that, everyone made it."

Magath. You were just starting to like that guy. You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut, and then
reopening. "Injuries?" you ask, and Armin shakes his head. "Okay. Good. How much time
until we make it to port?"

"Hours," he says. "Everyone else is resting. You two should too."

Levi's standing still next to you. You're ready to step in if he needs you to, but he seems
steady, so you don't. "One condition," he says, his voice dry. "You give us gear."

Armin nods. "Done."

Neither of you move.

He sighs. "You want it now?"

"Yeah," you confirm.

"Get back to your room and I'll bring two sets by," he relents, glancing down the hallway and
then back towards the two of you. "You'll feel it when we dock, and we'll all gather up on the
deck while the Azumabito work. If you're not up by then, I'll come get you."

You can live with that. "Alright," you agree. "Thank you."

Armin nods, then looks back to Levi. "You need help?"

"Fuck off," Levi grumbles.

You smile to Armin. "He's fine."

"Right."

Slowly, Levi turns around, and he uses the pipe to walk back down the way you came. You
sidestep next to him for a moment before you turn to Armin, shooting him a genuine smile.
"Armin," you say, "thank you. Seriously."

He smiles weakly. "Thanks for trusting us."

You blink, not quite sure what to say to that. Instead, you nod, then turn to follow Levi.

Your pace is slow, and by the time you're back to the original room Onyankopon threw you
in, Armin's already returned with two packs of gear. You wait until Levi's safely inside and
collapsed on the bed, then accept the gear from Armin and leave it on the other side of the
room. You notice that there's blades in the giant pile of straps and scabbards and it makes you
smile; you're glad your squad remembered that you both prefer swords over spears.
You crouch down next to the bag, frowning as you pull things out and rifle through the gear.
Some of these straps are tangled; you'll need to pull those apart before you can put it on.

"Oi."

You turn around, looking to Levi.

He's laying down, like you'd left him, but he's rotated up onto his side to stare at you. "We
have hours, apparently," Levi says dryly. "You can do that later."

You purse your lips. "...Fine."

He pats the bed next to him, and you sigh as you push yourself up and shuffle over to the bed.
You lay down next to him, tucking an arm under your head so that you can face him.

Neither of you know what to say.

Levi reaches out to you, fingertips going to the back of your neck. He pulls your head
towards you, kissing you on the forehead. You smile to yourself, and you murmur, "that's the
real reason you wanted your bandages off, isn't it?"

"Ulterior motive," Levi agrees, and he tips your chin up.

He kisses you softly, and even though it's light and easy, you can't help but feel a weight sink
on your shoulders. What are the odds that all of you make it out of here? Hell, what are the
odds that you can even stop Eren at all? What if you can't?

Like Levi said, you've got a few hours.

So you forget about it. You push it as far back in your mind as you can and enjoy your
moment with Levi, enjoy yourself as he kisses you and then tucks you into his chest, kissing
the top of your head as you bury yourself into your shirt. You enjoy the familiar smell of his
clothing, the way his arms wrap around you.

You enjoy it- because you know it won't last much longer.

And somehow, you doze off.

When you wake up, it's only because Levi's started to shift.

You detangle yourself from him as you move, trying to give Levi some space to sit up. Are
you docked? Armin said you'd be able to tell, but honestly, you've got no idea. Levi certainly
seems to think so- he's already standing himself up, stumbling over to the packs of gear.

At least he's able to walk without support. That's good. You're going to need him mobile if
everyone's going to make it through this.
You both work in silence, untangling gear straps and hooking everything in. Without asking,
Levi helps you with your straps, and you do the same for him. The two of you work like a
well-oiled machine, no words needed. You don't know what you would say, even if you
wanted to talk.

Together, you navigate through the ship and find your way to the upper deck. Sure enough,
the boat is docked, and you can see your friends checking their gear on the ground off of the
ship.

"You're good?" you ask, turning to look at your partner.

He nods. "You?"

You nod in return, and the two of you make your way towards the ramp off of the boat.
You're feeling alright, but Levi's still a bit slow in his movements, so you slow yourself down
to keep pace with him as the two of you head over to the group.

You're met with several smiles of relief, and Sasha moves towards you. She reaches out and
gives you a hug. "Good to see you," she murmurs, and you can hear the smile in her tone.

You smile back, squeezing her. "You too."

Sasha pulls back, and you see Levi slip by you to sit himself down on a crate. Hange nods to
you, grinning. "Up and at 'em?"

"Of course," you say. "What's the plan?"

"Take off's in an hour," Hange reports. "Annie's staying behind. With the two kids. Reiner
and Pieck are coming with us."

You nod along, squashing your questions about Annie's motives. You'll have time for that
later, and it's not relevant right now, especially if she's made up their minds.

Everyone starts double checking gear, and you glance across the port. Pieck's making her
way towards you, and there's a sag to her figure that makes you pinch your lips together. You
wonder how long she's had her titan for- she looks particularly tired. Isn't it a limit of thirteen
years? You see her say something to Reiner in passing, but you can't make out what it is.

Hange perks up, walking towards Pieck. "Pieck," they say, "I'll gladly rest on the cart titan's
back and feel the heat of its body as we-"

"Stop," she interrupts. "Why are you so creepy all of a sudden?"

You can't stop yourself from smiling. It's good to see at least a little bit of Hange's old
personality there. "...So, Four Eyes," Levi says. "Yet another love for a titan goes
unrequited."

"We'll be friendly in no time," Hange promises, eyes lingering on Pieck as she walks by.

You laugh. "I'm sure."

Hange smiles, but there's a sadness to their expression that you recognize. It's similar to how
they looked when you two sat at that campfire a few nights ago, after you'd salvaged supplies
and stitched Levi up. "Hey," they say suddenly. "Do you think they're all watching us? Will
we be able to stand tall among all our dead comrades?"

Goosebumps break out across your skin. There's something in their tone...

"Don't start talking like him," Levi mutters.

Erwin.

You sigh, looking back towards your friends. What were his last words to you... have faith?
Something like that? You'd thought it was ridiculous, but you're beginning to realize that faith
is just a synonym for trust. You can get by if you can trust your comrades, trust your friends
to make it through.

You miss Erwin. In times like these, he'd know exactly what to say.

There's a splash.

Sasha's the first one to look towards the noise, and her mouth falls open. "Hey!" Sasha calls,
and it's only then that people start to look. You spin, hand falling to the pocket of your pants,
eyes wide.

Is that- is that fucking Floch?

It's definitely Floch, wearing the black Survey Corps uniform which you all have long since
ditched. He's soaked to the bone, and you see him raise his gun.

You don't even think. You whip one of the throwing knives out of your pocket and throw it.

It's a hell of a distance, but your aim is still perfect. The tip of the knife sinks straight into
Floch's head, digging into his temple. Sick satisfaction courses through you as Floch slumps,
body collapsing to the dock, but you're too late. He's already fired, and he wasn't aiming at
any of your group as you'd expected- he was aiming at the plane.

"Floch!" Jean shouts. He, Mikasa, and Hange run towards the fallen Jaegerist.

You glance at Levi, who's not looking at you. He's looking to the plane, his face slack. You
follow his gaze, eyes widening when you realize the gravity of what Floch's done.

"There's holes in the fuel tank!" Onyankopon shouts.

Some of the Azumabito rush towards the plane, already starting to pull out tools, but things
are starting to shake. "What's happening?" you call out, grabbing onto Levi's shoulder to
steady yourself as the ground seems to shake beneath your feet.

Levi curses under his breath. "It's here."

You let go of his shoulder and break into a jog towards your friends, who are starting to
gather at the edge of the building, out the doorway. Your foot hurts but you don't mind it,
only focused on what the fuck is making the ground shake so much-

Titans.

Huge titans, dozens, hundreds- no, there's fucking thousands of them, stomping across the
mainland. They're all huge, which you'd expected (but it doesn't make it any less threatening),
and they're coming straight towards you. This is the rumbling that Eren started, the thing that
everyone's been talking about- this is Eren's plan to trample the world.

Shit. What the hell are you supposed to do now?

"How much time until they reach us?" you ask, looking towards Armin.

His eyes are wide. "I don't know."

You look up to see Jean jogging towards you. "Floch's dead," he reports to the group. You
feel nothing as he says it; you're just glad he's finally gone. "The Azumabito are patching the
holes. They won't make it in time."

"So we need to slow them down," you say.

He nods, looking out to the colossal titans. "Yeah."

"I'll do it," Armin volunteers. His gaze is still locked on the titans ahead, unwavering. "I'll
stay behind and slow them down."

"No, not you!" someone argues, and you turn your head to see Reiner. "You're the only
chance we have of stopping Eren! I'll do this!"

Damn. What's wrong with you? Obviously, you can't let any of the people with titan powers
do this- they're needed to take down Eren. So why aren't you volunteering? Why isn't your
voice working? You should be jumping for this, a chance to save your friends and make sure
everyone escapes to safety. You're injured anyways- you're less help in a battle against Eren
than any of the rest of them.

Why can't you say it? Why not?

Your ring burns painfully on your finger. You look out across the dock to Levi, who's
standing and watching your group from a good distance away.

Like you, he's touching his ring.

Ah. That's why.

"You really think I'd let either of you?" Hange snaps, and you're broken out of your thoughts.
"We can't use up anymore of our titans' powers!"

They're right. Of course they are.

But why...

Why do they have thunder spears on? None of the rest of you do...

Oh.

"No," you say stupidly. "No. You can't."

"I led us all to this point," Hange says, and the realization of what they're planning on doing
is making your knees buckle. "I kept moving forward, even if it meant killing so many of my
comrades. It's time I take responsibility for that."

"No," you repeat. "Hange-"

"Armin Arlert," Hange says firmly, and you can't help but notice how they're very pointedly
avoiding your gaze. "I hereby appoint you fifteenth commander of the Survey Corps. The
quality required of a commander is the unyielding desire for understanding. There are none
more suited for this duty than you. I'm leaving them in your hands."

Your legs are shaking. You need to do something, you need to say something, anything, just
something to stop whatever the fuck is about to happen.

Hange grins. "And that's that. See you guys later. Levi and Logan are your subordinates now,
so make sure you work 'em to the bone."

And then they turn.

And they're walking away.

It all hits you like a fucking brick wall. "Hange!" you snap, and you break out of your group
to run after them. You try to step in front of them, but Hange just steps around you. "Hange!
You can't, you've got to know there's other ways-"

"You understand," Hange says stiffly, eyes trained forwards. "Logan, I want to look as cool as
I possibly can right now, so you need to let me go. This is my blaze of glory-"

"Fuck that! Hange, you can't!" Heat is starting to burn behind your eyes. You nearly trip over
your feet as you stumble alongside them. "I'll do it! I'll go- Hange, I can't lose you, just let
me-"

They laugh. "Aw, c'mon, Logan. You know you can't."

They're right, you can't, but trying to think logically is becoming more and more difficult. "I
don't care," you insist, your voice cracking. "Hange, I don't care, you can't, you can't do this, I
can't-"

Your voice cracks again. You finally get a step around them, cutting them off. "I can't lose
you," you manage.

Hange meets your eyes, and it's only then do the tears start to form in your eyes.
There's nothing but acceptance in their gaze. They've already chosen this.

"Levi," Hange says suddenly, and you whip your head around to see that the two of you are
about to walk past Levi. "You get it. You need to let me go."

"Tell them, Levi," you insist, hysteria building up in your brain. "Tell them they can't."

And then you see it again.

The same damn acceptance- this time in Levi's good eye.

Levi raises his fist, and he taps it against Hange's chest, right over their heart. "Devote," Levi
croaks, and you can feel your heart split in your chest, "your heart."

No.

No, this can't be happening-

"I don't think I've ever heard you say that," Hange says, a forced cheerfulness to their tone.
"Oh!" You can barely see what they're handing you through the blur of your eyes, but Levi
accepts whatever's in Hange's hands in your stead. "I heard you guys collect these. Take care
of each other, will ya?"

You blink rapidly, looking to what's in Levi's hand. Your heart drops.

Their badge.

They shoot a cable into the nearest building.

"No," you breathe, stepping forwards, "Hange-"

A hand closes around your wrist, preventing you from stepping in as Hange flies away,
pulling themselves out of reach. Your shriek builds up in your throat. "Hange!" you cry out as
Levi pulls you back, his other arm going around your waist. "Hange! Hange!"

They're flying away, nothing but the Survey Corps logo on their cloak distinguishable from
this distance, and your window to go after them is closing-

"No!" you howl as you pull against Levi. "No!"

Hange is zipping further and further away as you cry out, tugging against Levi and sinking to
the ground when your legs can't hold you up anymore. You scrunch your eyes shut, the build
up of tears too much to handle. This can't be happening. If only you had killed Floch sooner,
if only he hadn't gotten those shots off, then Hange would be here, and they wouldn't be...

Are they really gone?

You don't want to know.

 So you keep your eyes shut as you sob into Levi's shirt, collapsed against the dock, not
willing to look to see if your best friend has become nothing more than a spec in the distance.
He holds onto you, devoid of words, and the only thing you can manage are weak whispers
of their name between sobs as you clutch as Levi's arms, desperate for some sort of physical
anchor.

When Levi finally speaks, his voice is quiet. "See you," he whispers, "Hange."

Hange.

They're gone.

This can't be happening.

Chapter End Notes

13k words later... Longest chapter to date!

Never cried over their death in the manga, but teared up writing about it here. Huh.
Funny how the world works.

Holy shit. Thank you guys so much for 3000 kudos. This is such a huge milestone and I
can't believe I celebrated it by killing off a beloved character. My bad.

Thank you guys so so much. I truly couldn't have gotten anywhere without you. You
have all my love <3 I'll see you next week!
 4-7
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Levi had accepted it.

Someone needs to slow the titans down, or else the mission won't work. Hange had
volunteered, so Hange had been okay with giving their life to ensure the mission would go
on. He's seen it happen many times; Erwin choosing to charge the beast titan and lead so
many scouts to their death is what first comes to mind. Both are choosing to sacrifice their
lives for humanity, as the many before them have done the same.

He accepts it, and he moves on. He knows it's what is best for the team; the only way to
complete the mission.

And he knows that you know it too. You're not fighting him at all; you've accepted it, but
you're not taking it well.

And that's what hurts most of all.

He hears you screaming, and it fucking hurts. You're a mess in his arms, and there's nothing
he can do about it. Nothing that would make this feel any better for you. Nothing he can do
except hold you and hope that you're able to put your grief aside to make it through the rest
of the mission.

It's not fair. He should be able to do more.

"This can't be happening," he hears you choke into his chest, and Levi tightens his hold on
you.

Hange is to you what Erwin is to him. But you got another four years with Hange; Erwin was
taken from you all years ago, and although he's still a presence in Levi's mind, he knows it's
not the same. Hange meant the world to you.

"We need to go," he murmurs into your hair.

You don't move. You bury yourself deeper into his shirt.

Does he wish you weren't as emotional? Sort of- it'd make it easier to make progress right
now. But your connection to others and the way you love everyone around you is what made
him fall in love with you; he'd be stupid not to accept all aspects of that loyalty.

"L," Levi whispers. "Please."

He hears you exhale deeply, and then you shove yourself away from him. Levi stands up, but
he doesn't offer a hand; there's a jerkiness to your movements that he recognizes as you
needing a minute to collect yourself. You need to gather yourself, and he needs to let you do
it.

You stand up, and without meeting his eyes, you start your march towards the plane.

Levi sighs to himself, and he follows.

He should be able to erase this. All this pain, all this damage, all this heartbreak that Hange's
sacrifice is clearly causing you- it's his job to make it easier. He's not quite sure how.

Something in his chest burns. Hange would know what to do.

He misses them.

Levi trudges on, his eyes glued to the back of your head.

You don't want to do this anymore.

You're been so driven in that Marley invasion. So eager to go, ready to do whatever it took to
protect your friends and get Eren off the island. You'd been excited to fight, excited to get
back into a battle after years of nothing but training.

Now, you've lost your best friend.

How're you supposed to be ready to go now?

You don't remember getting on the plane. Did you struggle at all? Did you fight Levi about
it? You hope you didn't. You're sitting on the floor in the back of the plane, knees tucked up
to your chest and arms wrapped tightly around your legs. You don't think you've moved since
you somehow got here.

Levi. How's he handling this so well?

He knew Hange longer than you did. Hange was one of the ones who kept him sane while
you recovered from amnesia. They accompanied him on most of the training sessions that he
did with you, back in your training days. They helped you discover the source of your
family's history with amnesia, and they were next to Levi in making sure you recovered after
getting shot in the blimp.

Hange officiated your wedding. Your damn wedding.

How can he be so okay with this?

Or...

Maybe he's not.

Heat burns behind your eyes are you consider the thought. Levi seems fine, like he's already
accepted it and moved on- but maybe that's all it is. Acceptance. He saw the situation and
knew it was the only option, and he accepted it.

Come to think of it, he's done it before. Separated his personal feelings from his logic. He
wanted to come with you when you went back into Wall Rose to confront Reiner and Bertolt
for the first time, but he knew he was injured, so he didn't. He knew Armin would be a
strategic choice for commander and that Erwin deserved to rest, so he chose Armin to survive
over Erwin.

Hell, he left your side in the blimp because he knew there was nothing he could do and he
had his own mission.

Levi's an expert at separating his feelings from the mission. Obviously, you're not. You're still
too emotional, much too attached to these people to even consider putting the mission first.

Although...

You sort of did, didn't you? For all you grief and your fury, you didn't try to shake Levi off.
You had gear on, but you didn't try to chase after them. You could've fought Levi, you
could've given chase, but you didn't.

Did you accept it too? Accepted it but still allowed yourself to grieve?

Even now, you're still allowing yourself to grieve. The other are in the seats of the plane,
pressed up against the cabin walls, while you're sulking in the back of the structure near the
massive pile of explosives- who knows where the hell your friends got those.

You purse your lips together, fiddling anxiously with the ring on your finger. The difference
in experience between you and Levi is more clear than ever.

God. Did you hit him at all? Were you being difficult? It's not like it was his fault.

Shit. Should you apologize?

"Hey."

You jerk your head up, blinking tears out of your eyes.

Levi is crouched in front of you. You stare at him uncomprehendingly for a minute before he
reaches out with one hand, settling it on your cheek. His fingertips brush at some of your
tears.

You swallow hard. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Levi muses softly. "Being human?"

Your throat feels painfully tight. You try to find words, but you can't think of anything. Levi
leans in and tips his forehead against yours, doing nothing but holding himself there. He gave
you time to grieve on your own, to work on your own inner demons, and then as soon as
you'd even considered spiraling into a cycle of guilt, he was right there.

You let your eyes flutter shut, doing your best to control your breathing. "How do you always
have such good timing?" you murmur.

"I know you," is Levi's reply.

He truly does. There's been many instances where you've been able to prove how well you
know Levi; sometimes, you forget he knows you just as well, if not better.

God, it feels like you might cry again. You sniffle, leaning into Levi's palm as he lets his
fingertips glide across your cheek. "I can't believe that they..." you stop, feeling the tears
build up again. "I can't... I don't know, Levi, I don't want Hange to be..."

You don't want to say it. You can't. Because if you say it, then it's real, and you can't let it be
real.

Levi doesn't say anything. He stays there, crouched in front of you, forehead pressed against
yours as he soothes you without words. He's always so good at this, so good at being there for
you without actually saying anything.

You sigh softly as a memory comes to mind. "You remember when Hange officiated our
wedding?" you murmur.

Levi's breath is hot against yours lips as he huffs. "Yeah. Those vows?"

"Yeah," you say, smiling weakly. "What was it... ups and downs-"

"In sickness and in health, happiness and sadness," Levi interrupts. "Killing titans, stupid shit,
and everything in between."

Your eyes flicker open. Levi's grey eyes are beautiful, nearly silver. "You remember?" you
whisper.

The corners of his lips quirk upwards. "Hange wouldn't let me forget."

You laugh weakly. "And then I just said 'same shit'. Not as much for me to remember."

"Well, they always liked you more than me."

Your smile fades. "They were smart," you say softly. "You remember, uh... the time that they
worked with Moblit to figure out the truth about my family history. With the amnesia coming
from the fruits. Well, it was... Hange was bang on."

Levi frowns. His forehead pulls away from yours, but his hand stays. "How'd you know?"

"Eren told me," you confess. "Right before I- I escaped to come see you. He said the tree was
put there to try and trick your ancestors, actually. Because they couldn't take your memories.
Titan powers don't work on you, so the tree didn't work either, even though the- the king
hoped it would. Hange's theory was completely right."

He stares at you for a moment, and then he sighs. "It makes sense now."

"What does?"

"Eren. Back in the blimp, he told me 'if only she knew'." Levi tips his head back, sighing
again. "He was saying if only you knew that your amnesia was because of me."

"But it wasn't," you murmur. "Mine was just a accident."

"Did Eren know that?"

"I think so, I mean..." you trail off. "That's what I told them. But maybe- maybe after what he
learned about my family, he assumed that it was hereditary after all. I bet- I bet if we asked,
some of the others would think so too."

Levi pauses. His fingers stop brushing over your cheek, but his hand doesn't drop from your
face. "Hange figured it all out, huh," he murmurs.

You nod slowly. "Yeah. They did."

The two of you bask in silence for a minute. There's chatter going on from the main section
of the plane's cabin, but you're not inclined to listen. It doesn't look like Levi is either.

"We need to keep going," you murmur, eyes flickering up to Levi again. "Don't we?"

He nods. "Yeah."

Hange.

Hange did this so that the two of you could stay together. So that the group of you could
escape alive. So that everyone could have a fighting chance.

You nod quickly, raising your hands to wipe at your eyes. "I'm good," you whisper, saying it
just as much for you as you are for Levi. "I'll be okay. Maybe not now, or anytime soon, but...
for now, I'm good."

"I know," Levi murmurs. "Me too."

He stands up and holds out his hands. You take both, letting him pull you to your feet. Your
foot still aches, but there's enough adrenaline still that you can barely feel it.

You hold on for a moment, steadying yourself. Then, you drop Levi's hands and head towards
the plane cabin.

Levi follows you into the cabin- he's walking well, which is good- and you glance up. The
rest of the scouts are either staring at you or very pointedly avoiding your gaze by staring at
the ground. You avoid all of them, beelining to a seat and collapsing into it. Levi quietly sits
down next to you, acting as a silent support pillar.

Armin's drawn some sort of sketch into the plane's floor, something that looks like a giant
bug. They start talking around you, and even Levi pops in from time to time, but you can't
listen. You can't focus.

Hange should be here. Hange should-

"L?"

You look up.

Levi's looking at you, but so is everyone else. "We think we need to kill Zeke to stop the
founder," he says. "Can you help me do that?"

Can you help kill Zeke? Is that even a fucking question.

You laugh, the sound dry and grating. "Can I help kill Zeke?" you repeat, leaning back in
your set. "With fucking pleasure."

There's a heavy silence, and then Armin speaks up. You tune everyone out again, content to
cross your arms and tip your head back against the rumbling plane cabin. They'll understand
that you're not able to focus; Levi can fill you in on anything you desperately need to know
before you have to take on Eren.

Eren. If it wasn't for him, Hange wouldn't be d-

You scrunch your eyes shut, cutting off the thought before you can complete it. You don't
want to make it real. Not now. You can't, not if you want to try and tackle this mission with a
clear head.

There's some sort of chatter going on, something between Jean, Connie, Sasha, and Reiner.
Connie looks upset, like he's confessing something, and you're surprised when Reiner put a
hand on his shoulder and says something in return. Connie almost looks grateful for the
comfort; Sasha is leaning into his side as well, offering her support as well.

Looks like everyone's sewn things up with Reiner. You think you're starting to get it,
honestly. When everyone had learned about Marley and why Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie did
what they did, it didn't make it any easier to accept. But it made it easier to understand.

You've seen Gabi. You've seen how brainwashed these kids can get, how headstrong they are
in their beliefs. Reiner was probably once the same way.

And now you've all done the same. You invaded Marley. Armin turned into the colossal titan
and tore up the port- who knows how many he killed. You've killed people when it's suited
you- does that mean you're like them too? Even if you don't have their destructive
capabilities. You've killed people to get your way, because you've considered them to be
against you.
You're all the same, really. You just grew up on different sides of a war.

Yes, that's it. You sat in that jail and talked to Gabi and Falco, two kids who were on the other
side of the war. Falco had been more openminded, ready to listen and attempt to understand,
while Gabi had been furiously rooted in her beliefs. Falco understood- somehow, he did.

Huh. The kid got it before you did.

"...Logan."

You look up. It's Reiner.

"I'm..." he seems almost hesitant as he says, "I'm sorry about Commander Hange."

Something twists in your chest, like someone's stuck a knife into your heart and decided to
yank it around. You swallow hard, trying to maintain eye contact. In your peripheral, you can
see the rest of the cabin staring at the two of you. Was this premeditated? Did they discuss
something that you missed, and now everyone's waiting for your reaction?

Or... your relationship with Reiner is the only one left to mend. Everyone else has made
peace with what Reiner's done, even if they haven't forgiven him. You know Jean will never
forgive him for what happened to Marco, but they've at least made peace for this mission,
knowing what's at stake.

"And I'm sorry for what I did to you," Reiner continues, voice firm. "I know an apology
doesn't help, but... I'm sorry."

Levi is dead still by your side. You blink stupidly, trying to wrap your head around what's
happening.

"Yeah," you say softly. "Alright. Thanks."

Reiner's right- an apology does jack shit to mend the trauma that came from what he did, and
it definitely doesn't do anything to bring Hange back. But continuing to be mad at him doesn't
do anything either. With the end of the world at stake, you've really got no choice but to trust
Reiner. Even if you'd rather not.

You exhale, leaning forwards to rest your elbows on your knees. "Alright," you say loudly,
trying to get yourself to focus again. "What's the plan?"

Armin meets your eyes. "We-"

Your surroundings changes.

Suddenly, all nine of you are standing in sand. Sand, stretching further than you can see in all
directions, with a gigantic dark sky above you. There's a giant column of white light off in the
distance, shooting straight up into the sky and branching off into smaller tendrils, sort of like
a tree with hundreds of branches.
You blink stupidly at it, confused. This is the same place you were in back in the forest with
Hange and Levi, when Eren had delivered his message. The thought of Hange makes your
stomach curl and you banish the thought to the back of your brain.

"Not again," Jean breathes, glancing around.

"What now?" Sasha asks, eyes locked on the white tree thing in the distance.

Levi scowls beside you. "He hear us or something?" he grumbles, glancing at you.

You shrug. "No idea."

"Eren!" Armin shouts, so loudly that you nearly flinch. "Please, listen to us! You've done
enough! I'm sure no one is going to put a hand on Paradis for centuries to come now! That's
just how much fear and destruction you've brought! You can still agree to a non-aggression
pact and end this! You don't have to kill anyone else- the island is fine now?"

Your heart sinks in your chest. They're still trying to negotiate? After all of this, Eren's not
going to stop just because you ask him to.

"We were wrong!" Armin hollers, hands cupped around his mouth. "We're the ones who
forced you to this point!"

"Eren!" Jean shouts, joining into the calling. "We'll figure out the rest from here! So you- you
don't have to keep slaughtering people for our sake!"

Sasha joins in next, eyes scrunched shut. "Eren! You can stop now, there's no need for all this
killing!"

"It's not going to work," you murmur.

Pieck sighs softly- you'd forgotten she was here. "They're his friends," she says softly.
Mikasa's talking now, trying to speak to Eren. "It's only natural that they'd rather negotiate
than regress to killing."

You grit your teeth. "I was his friend too," you mutter. "And I know this isn't going to work."

Pieck stares at you for a moment, then looks over to the white column of light. You cross
your arms and look to Levi, who's staring at you. You're about to question him when a
shudder runs through your body and Eren speaks.

The rumbling will not stop. I will not let fate decide Paradis's future. I will keep moving
forward.

You resist the urge to say I told you so. Eren's not changing; there's nothing any of you can do
at this point that will change any of this except kill him.

"Hey," Levi says suddenly, pointing towards the white light.

You jerk your head up, then narrow your eyes. There's a kid standing in front of the light, a
kid with shaggy brown hair wearing a sweater, plain shirt, and dark pants. You recognize who
it is with a jolt: Eren, wearing the exact same thing he was when you last saw him, but now
as a child. How's that possible?

"Eren!" Mikasa cries, and she immediately takes off running. Armin is quick to follow and
the other scouts don't hesitate either: Jean, Sasha, and Connie are hot on their heels.

They're all yelling, pleading with Eren to listen to them, and it makes you curl your fingers
into your palms. You'd understood why Eren was doing what he was doing, and you
understand your friends' desire to negotiate instead of resorting to murder, but you don't care.

All sympathy you had for Eren was lost the second he took Hange from you.

Levi collapses into the sand next to you, and you immediately crouch down next to him.
"You okay?" you murmur, reaching for his shoulder.

"Fine," he grumbles. "Just tired."

Physically tired? Or mentally tired of this bullshit? Maybe both.

You keep your hand on Levi's shoulder, squeezing lightly. You're both not in your best state,
but you'll be damned if you let that stop you from limiting the damage from this genocide
that Eren's incited. Maybe this chaos with Eren right now is a good thing if it means it'll get
your friends to accept that his death may be the only way to stop this.

Eren's voice appears again and you nearly jolt.

In order to gain my own freedom, I will take freedom away from this world. But I won't take
anything from any of you- you are all free. You have the freedom to defend the world's
freedom, and I have the freedom to continue moving forward.

Freedom. When you'd had your last conversation with Eren in that hallway, he'd mentioned
freedom. That you had the freedom to do whatever you wanted to do, and you didn't owe
anyone anything.

So long as we both have our unbreakable conviction, we will collide. There's only one thing
for us to do. Fight.

You glance over to Eren. There's another child-like figure standing next to him now, a girl
with hair down to her shoulders. She's wearing some sort of ruined dress. You don't recognize
her.

"What..." Armin trails off. You frown- weren't they running towards Eren? How'd they get
back here? "Then why'd you call us here?" he finishes.

So I could speak to you and tell you that there's no need for us to speak. If you want to stop
me, then try to stop me from ever taking another breath.

That, you can do. Easy.

You are all free.

And then you're back in the plane cabin. You slump into your seat, one hand rising to your
forehead. Everyone else is staggering as well, reeling from the conversation. Eren just
confirmed that negotiation wasn't an option- so killing him seems to be the only way to stop
him.

"Looks like my prediction was right," Reiner says, one hand on the cabin wall to steady
himself. So he gets it too- Eren needs to die.

"Is there nothing we can do?" Jean says, a hand covering his eyes.

Levi speaks up next to you. "There go our hopes of negotiation, I guess. What now,
Commander?"

Commander? Hange?

Oh, right. Armin's in charge now.

You swallow the bile rising in your throat. Armin has nothing to do with what happened to
Hange, and they trusted him to be in charge- so you can listen. Armin will know what to do,
and he's logical; he'll know that there's only one solution to go forward with now.

You glance at Levi. His eyes are fixed on Armin.

"Our objective is still the same," Armin says, eyes wide. "We take out Zeke, which could stop
the rumbling."

That's fair. Zeke's going to be a significantly easier target than Eren, provided that Eren's titan
is as gigantic as they've described. But you're still uneasy- no one's brought up the inevitable
conclusion of this battle. Either you're all going to die or Eren is. Even if you stop Zeke,
Eren's not going to take it sitting down.

The words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. "And if that doesn't work?"

Armin meets your eyes, and you hope he can see how angry you are. "Then..." he trails off.
"Well, it doesn't seem like negotiating is going to work."

Your blood boils. Everyone keeps dancing around it. "We have to kill him," you say simply,
crossing your arms.

Mikasa immediately rises. You tip your head up, meeting her glare. She doesn't say anything
else, and you can see the hesitation in her eyes. She's always so quick to defend Eren, but
she's finally starting to crack. Her loyalty to him is shaky.

"Alright," you mutter. "Good. So we're all on the same page."

"Well," Sasha says hesitantly, "is there- is there really no other option?"
You turn your head towards her. "He made it clear that trying to talk him out of it or
compromise is off the table," you say icily. "And I've got no issue taking him off the table."
You turn back to Mikasa. "I don't care who I have to get through to do that, because I'm not
letting what happened to-"

You catch yourself. You're getting too emotional.

"I'm not letting what happened to Hange," you force out, "happen to anyone else. Got it?"

No one objects.

Pinching your lips together, you lean back in your seat. Mikasa sits back down, gaze tipped
down towards the plane floor. Whether or not she agrees with you is another story- but now,
she knows where you stand.

"Gear up," Armin says firmly. "It won't be-"

"I see them!" Onyankopon calls from the front.

Immediately, everyone stands, strapping thunder spears to their arms. You grab onto the
handles for your blades. Connie throws the side door to the plane open and wind rushes into
the cabin; Levi grabs onto your sleeve to steady himself. Sasha grabs onto the opposite door,
and the nine of you cram yourselves close together to peer outside the cabin.

Holy shit.

Underneath you all is nothing but dust. Clouds of dust and probably steam, covering the
ground so that you can't see what was trampled over. Heading the wave of steam is the swarm
of colossal titans, walking forward like a giant wall.

But they're not even noticeable- they're practically specs compared to Eren.

Eren's titan is huge, bigger than literally anything you've ever seen. He makes the colossal
titans seem tiny in comparison. He's a giant skeleton, like a massive bug that stretches out,
with hundreds of bones that stick up from his spine and hundreds more that stretch towards
the ground. You don't have a good angle on his head from here, but you can tell that it's huge.

"What the fuck," you say in disbelief.

"Damn!" Onyankopon curses from the front. "The engine is barely going now!"

"We're about to jump out!" Armin calls, hands clinging to the edge of the cabin doorway.
"Hurry and come with us, Onyankopon!"

"Not yet! I'm piloting us until we're right above the founder!"

You turn to Levi. His eyes are locked on the massive titan beneath you. "This looks like it's
going to go to shit really quickly," you say honestly, managing a weak smile. "Right?"
Levi's good eye flickers over to you. "Odds don't matter," he says. "We do this and we get
through it."

Right. You fight fate, and you win. That's how it goes.

To your surprise, one of Levi's hand rises to your neck, and he pulls you in. The kiss is quick,
but it's warm and provides some much needed comfort. A 'just in case' sort of kiss. "We'll
stay near each other," Levi says firmly, fingers lingering on the back of your neck. "Tell me if
you're hurt. Got it?"

You nod, your hand rising to cover his. "Yeah. That goes for you too."

He nods. Then, Levi straightens up. "Avoid it, Onyankopon!"

Avoid it? Avoid what?

"Hang on!" the pilot shouts.

The plane rotates, tipping on its side. You see what he's trying to avoid: a rock barrage,
launched from the founding titan. There's no one else that could be except for Zeke- hey, at
least that saves you the trouble of having to find him.

The plane jerks and you stumble sideways, straight towards the wide open doorway. Levi
lunges out, grabbing your arm, but it's almost not enough. You're nearly ripped out of the
plane until Sasha steps forwards and reaches for you, fingers clutching the front of your shirt
and managing to pull you back into the plane. "Got you!" she calls.

"Thank you!" you choke out, clinging desperately to Levi's arm and the cabin wall so that
you don't fall out again.

"It's him," Levi growls, the anger evident in his tone. "That big, furry bastard."

"That saves us the trouble of finding him!" Armin calls over the howling of the wind. "The
target of our attack is the beast titan! We'll use all our forces to destroy him, and we'll stop the
rumbling!"

You see Pieck reach behind her, grabbing on to the mountain of explosives that was on the
plane. She nods to you, and you nod in return. She gets it- she understands the need to kill
Eren if this doesn't work. Next to Levi, she might be your biggest ally at the moment.

"Now!" Onyankopon yells.

Armin is the first to jump, launching himself from the plane. Mikasa follows suit, and then
the rest of your friends: Connie, Sasha, and Jean. Reiner steps out next, and Levi's about to
follow when you grab his arm. "Stay out of sight!" you call. "Zeke might think you're dead-
you can surprise him!"

Levi shakes his head. "He knows I'm not. It won't matter."
Whatever sort of feud Levi has with Zeke, it's something that you won't quite understand.
You nod, dropping his arm. You squint as you yell, "I'll see you soon!"

You don't have time to wait and hear if Levi says it back- you know he will. You step out of
the plane and start to freefall.

The height is absolutely terrifying, at first. You've freefallen before, always with your gear
ready to make a quick swing before you hit the ground. In this case, the ground is so damn
far away that you can't help but be nervous as you plummet.

There's a giant flash below you that you know is Reiner transforming. He strikes something
posed on the top of one of the bones protruding from Eren's back, and they go tumbling down
to his spine, landing hard on the bone. Probably the beast titan. It's naïve of you to assume
that Reiner could take him out that easily- Zeke's definitely got some sort of trick up his
sleeve.

You hook into one of the spiny bones sticking up from the founder's back as soon as you're
close enough, and you swoop gracefully to a stop, planting your boots into the bone. You
survey the situation below: Zeke's titan is limp.

"No wonder he's not putting up a fight," someone says, and you glance up to see Levi hooked
in just above you. "He's already a damn husk."

"Shit," you curse to yourself. "So what's plan B?"

Armin screams from below, and you drop yourself lower so that you can hear him. "We're
blowing this place apart in one minute from now! Work with the cart titan to get away!"

"Armin," Mikasa calls from near you.

"Eren expects this attack from me!" Armin shouts, hands clenched into fists at his sides. "I
can't imagine it killing him! But blowing all these bones to pieces might help us figure out
where Eren and Zeke are!"

Alright. So let Armin blow away the skeleton body, and then hunt for Zeke and Eren. You
can do that.

You zip after Sasha, who's following Connie. "If you feel like you really need to, just blow it
all up! Don't worry about us!" Jean calls from behind you. You glance behind to make sure
that he's following, then continue to zip away.

Something's not right.

You turn back to Armin right as a titan emerges from the steam on Eren's back.

"Hey!" you shout, and Levi immediately turns around. The others are a bit slower to react,
but by then, it's too late. The titan that came out of nowhere opens its mouth and a giant
tongue swirls out, wrapping itself around Armin and pulling him into its mouth. "Armin!"
you cry out, but the titan's already turning around and vanishing back into the fog.
"No!" Mikasa cries out.

Then, you see the real problem.

It wasn't just one titan. Out of the steam appears dozens more- shit, more like hundreds.
There's so many titans, all of different shapes and sizes, crawling across Eren's spine towards
you. Your heart drops into your stomach; how is this a fair fight? Now you don't just have to
deal with Eren and Zeke, but you have to handle hundreds of other titans too?

Would killing Eren end this? If you went after Eren and managed to take him out, would all
of these titans stop?

"Reiner!" Sasha shouts, and she dives into battle first. Several titans are making a move on
Reiner, who can only handle so many at once. Sasha launches one of her spears, and one titan
falls.

That starts the movement of the rest of you. You fly in on the other side of Levi, pulling out
your blades. There's a smaller titan gnawing at Reiner's knee, and you flip your blades in
your hands before you zip by, dragging the swords through its nape. You hook back around,
eyes locking on a taller titan that Reiner's trying to fend off with one hand. Switching your
grip again, you slice your blades through that titan's nape as well, and it drops off Reiner.

Jean and Sasha make quick work of the other titans, thunder spears exploding left and right.
With all the titans cleared, you land yourself on Reiner's shoulder. Sasha lands next to you.
"Who are these guys?" she asks, eyes wide.

"Not pure titans, it seems," Jean calls from Reiner's other shoulder. "They're watching us and
coordinating their attacks."

"What do we do?" Connie asks, clearly panicked. "We're going to run out of spears, and is
Armin even-"

"Hey," Sasha says quickly, cutting him off. She reaches up, clapping one hand on either side
of his face. "Calm down. Panicking doesn't help us."

Connie quiets, and Levi lands on Reiner's shoulder next to you. "He should've turned into a
titan immediately if there was so much as a scratch on him," he calls. "In other words, he's
captured but he's unwounded. He's been taken to Eren's ass though, and now there's all these
titans between us and him."

You stare out across Eren's spine at all the titans lumbering towards you. "Just another day,
right?" you joke weakly.

Levi's gaze is set dead ahead. "Even in top shape, I wouldn't choose to charge into that. So
stay calm."

Calm? You're plenty calm.

Oh- he's not talking to you.

Mikasa is behind you, and when you look at her, you can see she's shaking. Not because she's
scared, but because she's bristling with fury.

"Don't rush, Mikasa," Levi warns. "Wait for me to get their attention, I'll act as bait."

You whirl on him. "Like hell you will. I'm going with you."

"It won't be possible, Captain," Pieck croaks in her titan's gravelly voice. You hadn't realized
she'd relocated to be near your group as well. "I've figured out who they are. Those are the
nine titans from throughout the ages. I don't know if their previous inheritors have minds of
their own or not, but it must be possible to resurrect an infinite amount of them if you have
the power of the founding titan."

Resurrected titan users? So Ymir, Bertolt, Galliard- hell, Eren's father- they're all here?

"How are we supposed to fight that?" Connie forces out. There's unadulterated terror in his
eyes.

"We need to be decisive," she continues, and there's something in Pieck's tone that bothers
you. You look over to her- she's angled herself so that she's facing the other way, towards
Eren's head.

"Pieck," you say warningly.

"I was never friends with Eren anyways," she says.

Pieck takes off, explosives in her mouth as she dashes towards Eren's nape. It's a good play:
if she can make it and blow up Eren's nape, then maybe this whole thing could end.

"Pieck!" Sasha shouts, but she's already too far away for any of you to do anything.

You watch, lips parted, as Pieck makes it to Eren's nape, weaving around the titans that stand
in her way. It takes her all of a second to wrap the string of explosives around Eren's nape,
and for a second, you allow yourself to feel hope. Could this really be it? Could Pieck take
out Eren and end this nightmare?

"Wait!" Mikasa cries, and she zips away.

Defending Eren to the end, then. You hadn't expected anything less.

You're about to go after Mikasa when a trident impales Pieck in the back. Your jaw drops as
you realize who it is: the war hammer titan. Pieck's titan gets lifted up, hoisted away from the
explosives, and you see the detonator (as tiny as it is) slip. It's strung onto the explosives,
which leaves it hanging precariously from Eren's nape.

So much for that. Wait- so you just need to get that detonator and blow up Eren's nape?

You straighten up, sizing up the competition. There's maybe a dozen titans between you and
Eren's nape, the most threatening of which appears to be the war hammer. But she's occupied
with Pieck. Maybe you could-
"Move!" Sasha cries out.

You swivel around to see one titan has lunged at Reiner from behind him. You jump, as does
everyone else, but you shoot your hooks back into Reiner's shoulder to pull yourself back. As
the titan goes for Reiner's neck, you recognize it: it's the same jaw titan from your battle with
Marley. Galliard.

Gritting your teeth, you whip through its arm with your blades as it sinks its claws into
Reiner's face, tearing at his eyes. "Reiner!" you shout.

"Keep him still!" you hear Jean call from above you.

You look up. There's a titan coming from behind him, jaw open. "Jean!" you holler, panic
coursing through you because you'll never get there in time-

Levi shoots out of nowhere and tackles Jean out of the way; you allow yourself a moment for
relief before you round on Galliard's titan, finally tearing through its other arm. It falls;
Reiner's safe for the moment.

You spin around again? Pieck's still so far away-

"We're getting Armin back!" you hear Levi shout. "That's the only way out of this! Otherwise
we all die here like dogs!"

You need to ignore your urge to kill Eren. Your need to save your friend outweighs your need
to get revenge on Hange's behalf, and you turn towards the stampede of titans coming your
way. "Got it!" you call. You glance at Reiner. "Let's go."

Reiner creaks out a grunt before he starts to move. You ride on his shoulder for another five
seconds, catching your breath before you launch yourself into the air, aiming for the nearest
titan.

Everything afterwards feels like a blur.

Titan after titan come at you, and you take them all down, chopping off fingers and slicing
open jaws when you can't make it to the nape. Every once in a while, you cross paths with
Levi, taking out a titan that's just outside his peripheral while he slows down another one that
was headed for you. You'd forgotten how well the two of you work together; it's a bittersweet
reminder of the old days, when you were clearing titans out of Wall Maria.

You've broken two blades and replaced them both when a massive shadow looms over top of
you. You crane your neck up and your mouth slips open.

It's Bertolt's titan.

You'd forgotten how huge Bertolt's titan was. He leans in, picking up Reiner easily with one
hand, and you know you can't waste any time. Reiner's helpless in Bertolt's grip, and you zip
towards him, praying that you make it in time.
You do- but only barely. You slice through Reiner's nape and seize his shirt, ripping him from
the back of his titan and pulling him away just as Bertolt's jaw clamps shut on the armored
titan's head.

"Hang on!" you call out, but your grip is starting to slip on Reiner's collar.

Luckily, he's still coherent. Reiner uses his gear to hook into the nearest bone spike, and you
drop his shirt as he zips away. "Thank you!" Reiner calls as soon as you've landed.

You nod. "We-"

There's a resounding boom as Bertolt whips the remainder of the armored titan carcass at
Eren's spine, swiping at the bone. Titans are thrown around, and the giant gust of wind strikes
you, and if you weren't already hooked in to something, you would've gone flying. A lot of
the titans have been tossed underneath the main spine- did everyone else go that way too?
Propelled downwards?

Panic spikes in your chest. What about the rest of your friends?

You zip closer to where you remember them being, and you fight for air in your lungs when
you see Levi. He's hooked into one of the bones, but he's leaning heavily against it and
coughing- coughing up blood. That can't be good.

"Levi!" you holler, but his eyes are glued elsewhere.

Connie's hanging from one of the skeleton's ribs, and he's limp. The worst case scenario hits
you and you immediately panic: is he dead? Connie can't be dead, Connie's always been so
kind and so funny and always been there for you when you needed him-

Mikasa slices through a titan that was lunging for Connie's dangling body, and you hear her
yell, "Wake up, Connie!"

Good. He's just unconscious then- hopefully.

You swing over to Levi, sheathing your blades. "What happened?" you demand, reaching up
to wipe some of the blood from his lips with your sleeve.

"Fine," Levi chokes out. "I'm fine-"

"Levi, don't give me that shit-"

"Connie," he croaks, and he points upwards.

Another titan's lunging for Connie, but Sasha's moving in. You see her slice through the
titan's neck, but she doesn't escape in time: its jaw falls shut around her leg.

Sasha's scream makes your blood curl, and without another word to Levi, you fire your
grapples and propel yourself towards them. Levi claimed he was fine, and if he had any
serious injuries, you know he would've told you. You trust him. He can handle himself for a
moment.
You catch Mikasa coming in out of the corner of your eye, and you change course. Mikasa
slices through the titan's jaw, and you lunge for Sasha as the dead titan drops her. You collide
with her and immediately hook yourself in to the nearest structure, desperately trying to keep
a grip on her so that she doesn't fall.

"Sasha," you plead. "Sasha, come on."

"'M fine," she mumbles, but the place where the titan chomped down on her leg looks
gruesome. "Just hungry."

You can't even laugh. You glance up.

Reiner's holding onto Jean's arm, dangling from Eren's spine. Connie's woken up and
regrouped with Mikasa. Levi's zipping towards Reiner, ready to help him with Jean.
Everyone's alive, at the very least, but titans are clambering down from Eren's rib cage.

"A fucking titan shower," you say in disbelief, trying to judge which one needs to be taken
out first. You can't.

How the fuck are you all going to get out of this? How-

Your eyes lock on a titan with wings.

Oh, fucking hell is your first thought, but it's erased rather quickly when you make out people
on its back. Your eyes widen- is that Annie?

That titan's on your side, then?

The titan swoops towards you, and without any other options, you jump onto its back. There's
some sort of rope harness to cling to, and luckily, Sasha's coherent enough to grab on. Sure
enough, the rider on the back was Annie, and she helps pull Sasha further onto the titan's
back. Mikasa grabs your arms, pulling you up. Connie's already there, bent by Sasha's side
and whispering something you can't make out.

The titan makes a pass by Reiner and Jean, and you reach out to help hold them all on. One
of your hands seizes Jean's collar and you pull him on; Levi reaches out and you grab him
with your other hand, but it's almost like he's too weak to hold on to you. You grit your teeth,
trying to keep your grip tight on his arm as Jean scrambles up onto the titan with Connie's
help.

Someone else reaches over to help you. You don't even realize who it is until Levi's hauled
onto the titan's back, tucked into your side. You look over; it's Gabi.

"Gabi?" you say in surprise. Annie's standing up, holding onto Connie. That means the only
one left is... "Falco?"

"It's Falco," Gabi confirms, smiling. "He can fly!"

Apparently so. You lean over to Levi, who's breathing heavily, and you kiss him on the
forehead, relieved beyond measure. Thanks to Falco (and Gabi and Annie, apparently) you
all made it out. All except Armin and Pieck- but they're both titans. You sincerely doubt
either of them are dead.

Levi mumbles something and you tip your ear towards him. "...you okay?" you finally make
out.

You pinch your lips together. Always worried about you, even when it's clear he's the more
injured of the two of you. "Fine," you say, kissing him on the head again. "I'm fine. Don't
worry about me."

It's true. You haven't thought about your foot since before you lost Hange, and if it hurts, you
can't tell- thank fuck for adrenaline.

"Always do," Levi mutters, and you manage a weak smile. Of course he does.

You glance up as Gabi explains what happened. They'd stayed behind on the ship with the
Azumabito, but Falco had some sort of theory that he could fly. The ship couldn't stand
Falco's transformation, so all of the Azumabito are temporarily stranded at sea. "That's why
we need to stop the rumbling!" Gabi insists, hands locked tight into the hair of Falco's titan.
"We need to repay her kindness!"

And yet another reason for Eren to be stopped. You grab onto one of the ropes, the material
scratching at your palm.

"So, how's Armi- no, Pieck?" Annie asks. "What's her status?"

"Armin's been captured by the titans," Mikasa says, ignoring Annie's switch to Pieck. "His
life is in danger. The titan who took him should be near the tailbone. Help us."

Annie mumbles something that you can't make out, then says, "of course. I'll get him back."

"What about Pieck?" Gabi asks frantically.

"She got the explosives around Eren's nape," you reply. You've got one hand on Levi's back,
and you point the other one at Eren. "She couldn't get the trigger in time. I can-" you pause. "I
can do it. I can get to the trigger."

"Wait," Mikasa interjects.

"Both," Levi interrupts, lifting himself up. You keep your hand on his side, unwilling to move
it. "We're doing both. One group will rescue Armin and the other group will go after the nape
simultaneously." He locks eyes with Mikasa. "We'll split into two groups."

Mikasa looks distraught. "But-"

"Logan was right," Levi says, interrupting her again. You straighten up. "We need to kill him.
We're not in a place where we can be concerned about Eren- no, we never were." His good
eye flickers to you. "You were right."
Connie and Jean start shouting as well, voicing their agreement, but Mikasa still looks
troubled. It isn't until Annie grabs the front of her shirt and tells her that she can be in the
team to go after Armin. Finally, Mikasa agrees, but she doesn't look the slightest bit happy
about it.

Her unwavering loyalty despite what Eren has done is frustrating, but... what if that were
Levi? What if you were surrounded by your closest friends, who all decided the only
outcome of the scenario would be to kill him?

You can't think about that- it would never happen. But maybe a bit more sympathy for
Mikasa's situation is in order.

Gabi speaks up, saying something about decapitating Eren, but you're looking at Levi. His
eyes are focused on Eren's titan, but you know what he's thinking. You still have to take care
of Zeke at some point- no doubt, he's there somewhere and will make an appearance at the
worst possible time.

"Groups," you say suddenly. "Alright. Mikasa and Annie, you'll go rescue Armin. You guys
can take..." you glance around the group. "Take Connie. The three of you can handle that.
Jean, Reiner, and I will handle the explosive at Eren's nape."

You glance around the group. Gabi's trying to help wrap up Sasha's leg- it's clear that Sasha's
going to be out for the count now. No one seems to have any objections; Falco is starting to
turn around so that he's headed back to Eren.

"I'll go with the group to rescue Armin," Levi says. "We-"

"No, you're staying here," you object immediately.

There's a pause. Technically, Levi's your superior, and you're not supposed to go against him-
but you're well aware that any sort of hierarchy isn't your priority right now. No one else says
anything- or maybe you just can't hear anyone through the wind whistling in your ears.

Levi pushes himself up. His expression is carefully neutral. "I'm fine, L," he says. "We need
everyone available right now-"

"No, you're not," you insist, glaring at him. "You've been coughing up blood and you're one
wrong move away from being taken out. And if you go and get yourself injured out there,
then someone's got to stop and make sure you don't- you don't fucking die, and you know full
fucking well I'd abandon my post in a heartbeat if you were in danger."

He doesn't reply. Everyone's staring at the two of you.

"You'll stay here until Zeke appears, because I know that's what you're focused on," you say
firmly, surprised at the heat burning behind your eyes. "I'll act as damn bait to lure him out if
I have to. You'll- you'll stay here until then because I can't lose you. I can't," you force out.
"Got it?"

"Yeah," Levi says immediately, and your shoulders sink. "We'll do that."
You nod quickly, blinking to keep the heat behind your eyes at bay. You turn back to the rest
of your friends, who're all staring at you. "Got it?" you ask, and you get several nods.
"Good."

"Projectiles!" Jean calls, and you squint to make out several titans on Eren's spine that are
holding weapons- must be the war hammer titan at work. "Watch out!"

You lower yourself down, clinging to the ropes on Falco's back as he speeds up, twisting to
dodge the incoming attack. You glance sideways at Levi; he's clinging on as well, eyes fixed
straight ahead.

You hear Reiner shout, and you glance up. "I'll distract the war hammer!" he calls. "You two
get to the nape!"

"Got it!" Jean calls, and you nod in return.

You're close enough. Time to jump. Jean readies himself to leap, and you spare one last
glance at Levi. "I'll see you soon," you say firmly, leaving no room for argument.
You will come back from this, and you'll see him soon.

He nods. "See you soon."

Jean steps off of Falco's back, and after one last look to Levi, you follow him. You're once
again freefalling, not nearly as high as you were when you jumped out of the plane, but it
doesn't make it any easier. Wind whistles in your ears as you descend, and as soon as you and
Jean are low enough, the both of you hook into one of the spinal bones and swoop down.

There's a flash of light, and you glance up to see that Reiner's transformed. Most of the titans
converge on him, but in one swing of his fist, he sends three of them flying. "He'll be fine!"
Jean yells. "Let's go!"

You zip after Jean, eyes glued on the back of Eren's ginormous head. The only titan between
you and the explosives is the war hammer that had stopped Pieck with a trident, and it's
looking at you.

"I'll distract it!" you call over the wind as you and Jean get closer. "You get to-"

Two more titans crawl up out of the steam into view. And then two more. And then more and
more until you can count at least a dozen.

"Shit!" you hear Jean curse.

"This doesn't change anything!" you shout, meeting his eyes. "I'll take them! You go!"

He stares at you with wide eyes for a moment before he nods. It doesn't matter if he thinks
you can handle them all or not; he's got to trust that you can hold them off long enough for
him to get through. Jean turns his gaze back towards the explosives, and you pick up your
speed.
The first titan advances towards you on all fours. You spin around its outstretched claw and
tear through its arm, then take out both of its ankles. The titan groans before it falls,
plummeting between the rib bones and out of sight.

There's another flash, and you glance up. The cart titan has just ripped the nape out of the
large war hammer titan, and you grin. "I knew you weren't out, Pieck!" you holler.

Two titans lunge at her, and you have to hold back your scream as they literally tear her to
shreds. But moments later, she's transformed again, and she's tackling another one. Pieck and
her stupid quick transformations- you're finally grateful for them.

"We've got this, Jean!" you call, looking to him. "Go!"

Jean zips away, and you direct your attention to the nearest titan, whipping through its nape.
You dive away as another titan swipes at you, and you fly over to where Pieck's fighting,
tearing through the jaw of a titan that's trying to eat at her.

You and Pieck, surprisingly, work well together. She lunges at titans to pin them down while
you swoop in to go through their nape. When one sneaks up behind her, you take it out, and
she does the same for you, pulling the larger titans down so you've got a safer way to go
through their nape. She keeps transforming and transforming, using her carcasses to get the
drop on other titans, and you make use of the surprise to cut through as many titans as you
can.

It works rather well until you glance back up towards Jean to see his progress and grimace;
there's still too many titans in his path. You and Pieck need to move up-

There's a yelp that you recognize to be from Pieck, and you turn to see two titans attacking
her at once, digging into her arms. You're about to take out the titans when you see her
emerge from the neck of her titan, right as another starts to lunge at her.

There's too damn many. Gritting your teeth, you swoop in and grab onto Pieck, pulling her
away. "You good?" you call as you swing away, trying to find a place where you can catch
your breath.

Her arm's not there. "I can keep fighting once my arm's fixed," she insists, but her voice is
weak.

Shit. She's almost at her limit. "We need to regroup," you insist. "We can-"

There's a whir of gear, and you look up as Jean zips up next to you. He looks frustrated. "I
can't get through," he says angrily. "There's too many of them. Let's get back to Reiner."

"Right," you agree, turning. "Where is he?"

"Shit," Jean curses, and you follow his gaze. Your eyes widen: Reiner's been pinned down,
arrows and spears sticking out of his back thanks to the war hammer titans, and there's
several smaller titans converging on him now.

You wrap your arm tighter around Pieck. "We need to go," you urge.
"Where?" she says weakly.

You spin around to Jean, hoping he has an idea, but his eyes are wide and fixed on the chaos
going on further away. He doesn't see the titans coming at him from behind, jaws open.
"Jean!" you yell.

Another titan jumps in and knocks both titans off course. You blink stupidly, glancing down
at Pieck to make sure you do, in fact, have her and that she hasn't transformed again, before
you look back up to whatever titan saved your lives. It's small, like the jaw titan, with long
dark hair and a hooked nose, and...

It looks really familiar...

"Ymir?" you say in surprise.

The titan responds to your call, meeting your eyes. You're frozen in place, not quite sure
what's happening. Another jaw titan comes out of nowhere, tackling down another titan that
was getting too close for comfort, and Pieck says, "Galliard?"

They're... helping you?

"Look," Jean says, pointing down towards the back of Eren's titan. You can make out Annie's
female titan from here, and Bertolt is looming over her, but he's swatting at some of the other
incoming titans now.

"What the hell," you breathe. What the fuck is going on?

Titans are coming from everywhere, but they're not trying to attack you: they're protecting
you from other oncoming titans. You're not sure why, but you know you can't let this
opportunity go to waste.

"Jean," you urge. "Go! Now!"

Jean takes off, heading back towards the explosives, now with an escort of three jaw titans.
You tighten your grip on Pieck, looking back towards the rescue mission: they definitely
seem like they have the upper hand now. Could you actually be winning?

There's a call, and you glance up.

From the top of one of the spikes, there's a half of a body sticking out. It's the torso and head
of a man with long blond hair, and your blood boils: Zeke.

"Get him, Levi," you murmur.

Sure enough, not even seconds later, Levi's flying towards him, blades drawn back. You
watch as he strikes, decapitating Zeke cleanly. Zeke's head goes tumbling away, and Levi
hooks into some of the bones in order to swoop to safety.

He's gone. Levi did it: he killed Zeke. He kept his promise to Erwin.
You can't help but grin to yourself as you look back towards Jean, wondering how he's
progressing. He's almost there, and you find yourself clenching your hands into fists as Jean
finally grabs the detonator. "Go," Pieck urges. "I'm good to transform again."

"You're sure?" you ask.

She nods, easing herself out of your grip. "Go."

You let go of her and take off, flying towards Eren's head. The jaw titans have done a great
job clearing away the competition, and you have no problem zooming along. You're almost
there when you hear Jean scream, "you stupid suicidal blockhead!"

He slams down the trigger on the detonator, and there's a resounding boom.

Eren's head falls. The explosives did the trick, and his head is severed from his body. You let
yourself fall towards Jean, who's been thrown back by the explosion, and you manage to grab
onto his arm. "Got you!" you call, hooking back into one of the spinal bones and pulling you
both up.

"Thanks," Jean says, holding onto you until he's close enough to hook into the bone himself.

"Well, I think it was my turn to save you for once," you joke weakly, forcing a grin.

Jean grins in return, but the moment is short lived. Some sort of creature erupts from Eren's
neck, like some sort of elongated worm, and it spirals straight towards his head. You're not
even sure what you could do about it- not like your swords will cut through that- when
Reiner dives in, tackling the worm-like thing.

They both go plummeting to the ground below. You grit your teeth together; you hate being
helpless. "What do we do?" you ask, looking to Jean.

He's looking somewhere behind you. "Look."

You turn your head. Falco's titan is flying towards you, with the rest of the scouts collected
on its back. Your heart swoops when you see Levi, with Mikasa helping to hold him onto
Falco's back.

"Jean! Logan!" Connie hollers, extending his hand. "Armin's going to blow this thing to
pieces!"

Relief flows through you. Good; they saved Armin. "What about Reiner?" Jean calls back.

"The armored titan should be able to withstand the colossal's explosion!" someone yells from
behind you, and you see Pieck emerging from the nape of her titan. "Besides, Reiner's
prepared for the consequences! To let this opportunity get away would be a waste."

There's nothing you can do from here- there's nothing you can do for Reiner. "Let's go," you
urge Jean.
He doesn't look happy, but Jean jumps down at the same time you do, hopping back onto
Falco's back. You immediately find Levi, and he's looking up for you too. You slide around
Annie, hands clutching at the ropes as you move closer to him.

His expression's unreadable. "You did it," you murmur, reaching out to grab onto his hand.

Levi nods. "Yeah. He's dead."

You squeeze his palm, and he squeezes back. An oath made four years ago, finally fulfilled-
you know what that means to him.

Levi's eyes shift, looking back to where Eren is. You follow his gaze. It's definitely a sight to
behold: Eren's headless founding titan, standing in the clearing. The sky is clear behind him,
with the land stretching on for ages. The colossal titans have paused their march.

Your eyes remain transfixed on Eren, even as Armin transforms. The explosion that follows
is unlike anything you've ever seen before: it's humongous and blindingly bright, and the gust
of wind that follows nearly sweeps you off of Falco's back.

Is Eren dead? Did that kill him?

Your heart seizes in your chest. Why? You haven't felt any sympathy for Eren in the past few
hours; you've accepted that his death was necessary in order to stop the mass genocide. Eren's
the reason that Hange's no longer with you: you have every reason to hate him.

But you're still upset. God damn this stupid kid and the hold he has on you.

Your grip on Levi's hand tightens. If he minds, he doesn't say.

Falco's titan lands, and you glance up. There's a giant crowd of people- innocent civilians
who were trying to run away from the rumbling. Gabi launches herself off of the titan,
running towards two people in the crowd who look like they could be her parents. Pieck and
Annie are quick to dismount as well, running into the crowd. You slide off of Falco's back,
keeping your grip on Levi's hand so that you can help him down.

Steam bursts from the back of the winged titan as Falco emerges from the nape, coughing. He
too scrambles to get out of his titan and run into the crowd, where two more people are
running towards him. Parents.

Damn. They really are just children, aren't they?

"Hey."

You glance over to Levi. You're still holding his hand. "What?"

"How's your foot?"

"Fine," you reply. "Can't even feel it. How're you?"

He lets go of your hand just so that he can fumble with one of the straps across his chest. "I
feel like shit," he grumbles, "but I can walk."

You nod, then glance over to your friends. The scouts have moved to the edge of the ridge
that you landed on, looking out across the valley. You glance back to Levi, and he nods; the
two of you head over to join them.

"What's going on?" you ask, glancing at Jean.

"The shiny thing survived," he says, pointing out to the worm that had emerged from Eren's
neck. "It's too dangerous to leave alive."

Reiner and Armin, both transformed, are approaching it. Well, if they can't kill it, then who
can? You glance sideways, where Connie's standing with Sasha's arm pulled over his
shoulders to keep her up. "Sasha," you call. "How're you feeling?"

She flashes you a thumbs up. "Like I could eat a horse."

The smile that rises to your face is short lived; there's another explosion across the clearing,
and your jaw slips open when you see yet another colossal titan appear. It's got the head of
the founding titan, and a groan slips from your lips. "Seriously?" you say in surprise.

"I knew you weren't gonna die from that," Jean murmurs from beside you, shaking his head.

"What the hell do we do?" Connie murmurs, eyes blown wide.

"Keep Eren away from the shiny thing!" Gabi urges, pointing out across the clearing. Looks
like she's finished her reunion with her parents. "We don't know what's going to happen- the
rumbling might start again!"

Yeah. And if it does, none of you are in any shape to stop it.

"That centipede survived the explosion," Levi grumbles. "How're we supposed to kill it?" He
glances at you, and then his eyes flicker to Mikasa. "We have to go after Eren. This
nightmare isn't over until he's dead."

There's a pause. Levi's right, and everyone knows it.

"Is that smoke?" Sasha asks.

You glance back towards the battle. Sure enough, smoke is coming from the shiny centipede
thing, like a light blanket of fog that's spreading across the ground. It's moving towards you.

Something doesn't feel right.

"Is it dead?" Mikasa asks.

"It doesn't smell like dead titan," Connie says. "Isn't this..." he trails off. "Isn't this like what
happened in Ragako village?"
...Oh.

Oh, no.

Ragako village, where everyone transformed into titans.

Levi's an Ackerman. He'll be okay. But you...

You won't be.

Shit. Shit, shit-

You don't have much time. Levi needs to get on Falco and he needs to go, he needs to get out
of here. You turn towards him, ready to yell at him to get going, to escape before you and
everyone else in this entire area turn into titans, but you can't find the words.

Oh. The look in his eyes- he knows too.

This can't be happening.

"Our teashop," you blurt out. "No- no matter what happens to me, you still need to get our
teashop, like we promised-"

Levi cuts you off by grabbing the back of your neck and pressing his lips to yours.

The pressure is bruising and it's almost painful, but you don't focus on the aggression of it
whatsoever. You kiss him back, tears collecting in your eyelashes as you try to convey every
single emotion collected in your brain through your lips. Your hands scramble for whatever
you can reach, grabbing every last inch of him that you can. He needs to know how much
you love him, he needs to know how you never wanted it to end this way-

The kiss is over as quickly as it began, and it leaves you gasping. Levi's hand drops from
your head, and you can see the tortured look in his eyes as he chokes out, "I'll see you soon."

"Go," you urge, pushing his shoulder. He needs to go, before it's too late.

"Say it back."

"Levi, you need to go-"

"Say it," he demands, his voice nearly cracking.

Your heart feels like it's splitting in your chest. "I'll see you soon," you say shakily, meaning
it with every fiber of your being. Levi will find a way to fix this, and you'll see him soon.
"Now go."

Levi's eyes linger on you as he backs up. You can see it- there's pain in his eyes and it makes
you want to cry. Your teeth sink into your lip so that you can control yourself as he tears his
eyes away from you, calling for Falco and Pieck. Falco manages to transform again, and
Pieck has to be dragged away- she's calling for her father. Annie's nowhere to be seen.
Just like that? Is it really all over, just like that?

Soon enough, they're flying away, and your eyes stay on Levi the whole time. He hasn't
looked back, not once- you're wondering if it's because he doesn't trust himself to follow the
mission if he does.

You're going to see him soon. Right?

He'll find a way to fix this.

...Right?

Of course he will. You squeeze your eyes shut and press your hands to the side of your head,
trying to banish your tears. When has Levi ever let you down? He certainly wouldn't plan on
starting today.

"Logan."

You turn, blinking tears out of your eyes. It's Jean.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly, eyes flickering to the titan that's flying away. You don't allow
yourself to look. "I know that wasn't easy."

What? Saying a potential final goodbye to your partner of ten years, husband of three- was it
ever supposed to be easy? Any time you're away from him, it hurts. How is saying goodbye
ever supposed to be easy?

Unless you pretend this isn't goodbye. Unless you trust that Levi will find a way to fix this
with the others. There's got to be a way out of this.

"Logan?"

You look up to Jean again, lips pinched together.

He's holding out a hand to you. His face is calm and his eyes unreadable. He's accepted
what's about to happen. "Come on," he says. "You're a part of this too."

Part of what? You glance behind him; Connie and Sasha have their arms looped around each
other, eyes glued to the smoke pouring in.

It reminds you of the blimp, back in the Marley invasion. When Connie had grabbed Sasha
and Jean, hugging them both, and then told you that you were in this too. Forcing a smile,
you grab Jean's hand, and he guides you towards where the other two are.

Jean loops an arm around Connie's shoulders, and then one arm around you. You slide your
arm around his waist, eyes fixated on the titan that's flying away.

For a second, the four of you are quiet.

"So this is the end for us," Connie says solemnly.

 Jean sighs. "Yeah. A scout's end for us."

It can't be the end. It can't be. You promised Levi that you'd see him soon: so it can't be the
end.

"I don't think it is," you say.

Sasha cranes her neck towards you. "Really?" she says, and you can see tears shining in her
eyes. Connie and Jean have accepted their fate; Sasha is struggling to. "You think we'll be
okay?"

Will you? Will you be okay?

What's the harm in having a little bit of hope?

You smile at her, squeezing your arms tighter around Jean. "I do," you say firmly. "We'll be
okay."

Connie sighs. "I love you guys."

You're about to say it back when the smoke pours over the ridge. Something funny rises up in
your chest, like there's a cough building up that you can't release. You blink, and then your
vision is completely white.

And then you slip away.

Chapter End Notes

One more to go guys- I'm seriously going to cry. It's not going to be pretty.

Also: fun fact, I've got a tattoo appointment booked for the same day the last chapter
comes out. I'm getting a little moon on my ankle. I've always wanted some sort of small
tattoo (this is going to be my first!) and this fic truly does mean so much to me. I'm
going to be matching with a friend, who's getting a sun, but my first thought when we
picked these out was hey, it's just like Logan's necklace and I'm sticking with that.

I love you guys. One more to go! <3

Edit: oh by the way!! zombie apocalypse fic will be up next week!! probably on
Wednesday or Thursday!! thank you all for your feedback and I hope you enjoy it!!
 4-8
Chapter Notes

Can't believe this is the last one. Song recommendations, if you're into that (in this
order):

Fine Line - Harry Styles

Beige - Yoke Lore
Next to me - Imagine Dragons
See You Later (Ten Years) - Jenna Raine

If you make it all the way through, I recommend looping See You Later until you're
done. That entire song just fits this story so damn well- thank you to the user that
recommended it.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

You're floating.

It feels like you're drifting away from a perfect dream. Like you're sinking into the softest
sand known to mankind. Like your entire body weighs no more than a feather, laying on the
sea and floating aimlessly as the waves send you whatever way they'd like.

You blink.

What happened?

You force yourself up to a sitting position. You're on the ground, the rock hard underneath
you. Steam is floating around you, like a soft fog that's enveloping your surroundings. You
frown, giving yourself a once over. Nothing looks injured, and you can't feel any pain
anywhere.

Wait- you were about to be turned into a titan.

Were you? A titan?

You clutch at your head. Words from Eren are lingering in your brain, words you don't
remember being there before- is that important right now?

Levi.

Your eyes widen, and you spin around.

People are everywhere, spread out across the ground. The first person you see is Jean,
glancing down at his hands in disbelief, and Reiner's right next to him. Connie and Sasha are
nearby, picking themselves up off the ground, and Gabi's already on her feet.

Levi. Where's Levi? Is he okay?

"Logan!" you hear someone call in relief, and you turn your head. Sasha's beaming at you.
"You were right! We made it!"

You all made it.

Everyone made it.

Tears of relief feel like they're welling up in your eyes. Connie's clutching onto Sasha,
sobbing something about his mother, and when you look up, you can see Reiner walking
towards you.

He sticks out a hand. "You're okay?"

You nod and take his hand, letting him haul you up from the ground. "You?" you ask,
knowing that Reiner went through way too much shit today to come out unscathed.

Reiner nods. "Yeah."

You're not sure where it comes from, but in a split second decision, you lunge forwards,
wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Reiner seems surprised for a moment before his
arms go around your waist and he hugs you back.

You blink tears out of your eyes as you pull back. "You always did give the best hugs," you
joke weakly.

Reiner seems speechless, like he can't quite figure out what to say. Instead, he just pinches his
lips together and he nods.

Your mind clears. "Levi," you say quickly, turning in a full circle. "Where is he?"

"I saw him," Reiner confirms, and your shoulders sink in relief. "Not sure where he is now,
but I know I saw him."

You nod, turning around and scanning the area again. There's something fishy about the
smoke- are you hallucinating, or are those people appearing in the steam? That doesn't feel
right- maybe you smacked your head or something after all.

There's some scuffling behind you, and you turn to see Jean pushing himself to his feet. "Is
that him?" he asks, pointing somewhere in the distance.

You narrow your eyes, following where he's pointing. Jean's pointing at a rock, and you're
about to ask him to clarify when you see exactly what he's pointing at. There's feet sticking
out, like someone's leaning against the rock with their legs kicked out.
You don't even think; you start to run. Behind you, you hear Jean inhale sharply and choke
out, "Marco?"

You don't have the mental capacity to think about what he's saying. Your eyes are glued to the
figure by the rock, legs moving of their own accord. As you move closer, you realize that
Jean was right- it is Levi. He's leaning against the rock, head tipped back.

You can't even force out his name. As you get closer, you see him look over to you.

The look in his eye is the most loving thing you've ever seen.

Smiling like an idiot, you crumple to the ground next to him. Your hands immediately rise,
cupping his face. "You- you're okay?" you choke out, tears blurring your eyes. "You're
good?"

His hands rise to your face as well, and you feel his thumb brush over the scar across your
eye. "You're okay?" he murmurs.

Neither of you actually end up answering the other- you're too overwhelmed- but you both
know the answer. You were right to trust Levi: he did it. He and the others- Mikasa, Pieck,
Armin, Falco, Reiner- managed to save everyone. They undid whatever happened to turn you
all into titans.

You both did it. You made it through.

Levi drops his hands and his head turns, and you turn to see what he was looking at before
you came. Your hands fall, and all the air gets sucked from your lungs.

Turns out, you weren't hallucinating. There's people in the fog, dozens of people- all scouts
from the Survey Corps. You recognize several of them: Uri, Rani, Haiden, a lot of the people
who died on expeditions with you. Petra, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld. Moblit's there as well,
smiling brightly.

And of course, at the front stand none other than Hange and Erwin.

"Hange?" you choke out. "Er- Erwin?"

Now it makes sense, why Jean whispered Marco's name before you ran off. He must be
seeing Marco in the same way you are.

Seeing everyone like this is dumbfounding. Hange's good eye lock with yours, and it hits you
all over again: Hange's really gone.

"Were you all watching?" Levi muses.

Did they really see the whole thing? Is this a trick of your imagination, or- or do they know
that it's over? The battles are finally done?

"It seems that this is how it ends," your partner continues from beside you. "The goal that
everyone dedicated their hearts to."
Dedicate your heart.

Erwin had said that, on the day you were officially recruited into the Survey Corps. He
definitely said it other times too- that was the whole point of the scouts. Devoting your life to
something bigger than yourself, to the hope that one day humanity would be free.

You made it.

All of the figures in the smoke raise their arms in a salute. Your chest feels tight as you copy
the action, bringing your fist up to rest over your heart. Beside you, Levi does the same.

There's a moment where everything is still.

And then, they all fade.

Your eyes linger on the spot where Hange and Erwin had vanished, still trying to take in what
the hell just happened. It really is over. You and Levi always talked about this, wondering if
there truly ever was an end to the battles.

This is it.

You both made it.

You turn back to your partner. Your mouth dries when you see him: he's crying. "Levi," you
choke out, and when you blink, tears fall. "We- we made it-"

Levi grabs onto you and pulls you into him, kissing you. It's a mess of tears and lips and skin
but it's still absolutely perfect. You smile against his lips as he threads one hand up into your
hair, holding you close, and you feel him smile in return. You can taste the salt from your
tears- you're not sure if they're his or yours- but you don't care, and it doesn't seem like Levi
does either.

The kissing slows, and finally, you pull back. You raise a hand to Levi's cheek, taking a
second to absorb what this all means. The end of an era.

"So, what now?" you murmur, smiling.

Levi's thumb rubs the back of your head. His lips twitch as he asks, "teashop?"

You laugh. That stupid little promise that you made so long ago, that little dream you both
had if you ever got out of this mess. The fact it might actually become a reality is startling.
"Teashop," you agree. "But first, a nap."

Levi chuckles. "Alright. Nap."

You laugh, and you lean in to kiss him again.

Yeah. You made it.

.
Armin takes credit for Eren's death. Levi tells you that it was Mikasa.

Either way, he's gone.

You don't cry about it. You don't spare him the tears. Are you upset about it? Yeah, kind of.
Eren was an ambitious kid, the kid who always badgered you with too many questions, the
kid who was more devoted to the scouts than anyone else.

You choose to remember him as that. As that excited kid. That kid who was ready to conquer
the world.

Medical professionals look you over. You get your foot wrapped as a precaution and the cuts
on your legs from the thunder spear receive similar treatment, but you're good to go. Levi is
confined to a few more weeks of bed rest, but the only permanent injury is his eye. The
thunder spear tore into it, and he won't be able to see out of it. But considering all the shit he
went through, you're just happy that's all it is.

You stay in the hospital with Levi for the weeks that he's stuck there, with a few visits outside
to meet your friends and such. The doctors give you a bed next to his, but you just end up
pushing it right next to Levi's so that the two of you can cuddle together.

Levi doesn't seem to mind the enforced bed rest, not when he's got you right next to him. His
complaining remains at a bare minimum.

The last day of Levi's required hospital stay is just like any other day. You've got Levi's head
up against your chest, one hand stroking through his hair while the other holds open a book.
Levi's fingers draw circles on your leg; every once in a while, the stroking stops, and you just
assume he's fallen asleep. But he always picks it back up again.

"Hey," you say softly, tangling some of Levi's hair between your fingers. "Where to?"

"Hm?"

"Tomorrow. When you get out."

Levi sighs softly. "Well, we're not exactly welcome in Paradis."

That's true. The people on the island still recognized your mission against Eren as a betrayal,
and you're betting that's not going to change any time soon.

"So, here?" you muse. "Marley?"

Levi hums. "Along the coast line closest to the island."

You smile to yourself. "There's a shop up for sale along the boardwalk by the shore. With a
second floor for an apartment."

He tips his head up, meeting your eyes. You look down to him, still smiling. "Why'd you ask
if you already knew where you wanted to go?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.
You shrug. "Wanted to make sure we were on the same page."

"Whatever page you're on," Levi grumbles, reaching up to tap the page of your book that
you're on- has he been reading it too? "I'm on it."

"Alright," you agree, kissing the top of his head. "We'll go check it out tomorrow."

"Can we afford it?"

"Already called in a favor."

He snorts. "Of course you did."

You laugh. "C'mon, you love me."

"Duh."

The next day, you and Levi take your walk down to the beach. The shoreline on the side of
the Marleyan land closest to the island has a long dock that spreads all the way along the
beach, with several shops and restaurants along the walk. It's early morning when you're
taking your walk, so it's not very busy, but there's a few people wandering along the
boardwalk, enjoying the weather.

There's a light breeze coming from over the ocean, ruffling your loose clothing. There's a
couple of kids playing in the sand, making some sort of castle. An elderly couple is strolling
along the sand, hand in hand.

The innocence of it all makes you smile. You brush some of your hair out of your face as the
wind ruffles it, then turn to Levi. He's watching you with such a soft look in his eyes that you
want to melt.

"What?" you murmur, smiling.

He jerks his chin up at the line of shops. "How much further?"

"Only a minute."

You take his hand as you lead him down the dock. You can see the building in the distance,
not too much further away, and Levi strolls with you, footsteps light against the wood of the
dock.

You stop in front of it, still holding onto Levi's hand. It's quaint, a small two-story building
that's nowhere near as fancy or flashy as some of the other places you passed along the
boardwalk, but you know that's what Levi would prefer. You've already been inside the
building: the shop floor is cute and it's functional. Plus, the upper floor is more space than
either you and Levi have ever had before, so you're sure he won't complain.

Levi's face is still unreadable- at least, it would be to anyone else. With the way his shoulders
are pushed back, the careful exhale, and the lacing of your fingers with his, you can tell he
likes it.
"Well?" you push.

"Perfect," he replies.

You roll your eyes. "You haven't even seen inside yet."

"You picked it out, right?" Levi asks, turning to look at you. You nod. "And you've seen the
inside?" You nod again. "Then it's perfect."

You pinch your lips together, trying to contain your smile. "You're still as sappy as always,"
you tease affectionately, squeezing his palm.

"You bring it out of me."

"Aw."

Levi smiles softly, looking from you back to the shop. "It's nice," he says, approval rising in
his expression. "You got a name picked out?"

You grin. "I've got an idea."

Jean and Connie are the first ones to come visit.

Obviously, setting up the spot is going to take a while. You've written letters to all of your
friends, and they all promised to come help set up the shop with you at some point. You know
they're all busy; several of them are planning on acting as peace ambassadors between
nations in the coming years.

You and Levi are officially retired. Jean actually wrote in his letter back to you: if you two
aren't retired at this point, then we'll find some way to get you arrested to keep you out of the
action.

There's no worries about that. This is it for you and Levi; this is the end that you always
prayed was in sight.

"Where do you want these?" Connie demands, several bags strapped to each arm.

"You couldn't have made two trips?" Levi argues, stepping around the counter so that he can
take some of the bags from Connie. "These are breakable."

"I didn't know that!"

"There's glass in here, how could you not know that?"

"Logan," Jean calls, stepping through the doorway. "Where'd you want all the dish shit?"

You point towards the stairs in the back of the shop, which lead up to your and Levi's private
flat. "Upstairs," you call, and Jean walks past you with the box in his arms. "Just put it on the
back counter!"

You turn back to the front as you see Connie collapse into one of the chairs. "Those were
heavy!" he complains.

"You didn't have to take it all in one trip," Levi grumbles, pulling some of the glasses out of
the bags and setting them on the countertop. "It would've been easier."

"Would've taken twice as long, though!"

"It's on your counter," Jean calls, and you turn back to see him coming down the stairs.
"That's all you needed us to grab for you?"

You nod. "Yeah. Thank you."

"That was a lot of stuff," Connie says, sitting himself upright. "How'd you guys afford all
that?"

"Historia offered us a very reasonable retirement plan," you say with a grin.

There's a collective "aah" from both men. You step around the counter, sliding up next to
Levi to help him unload some of the bags that Connie helped carry in. Out of the corner of
your eye, you see Jean move over to Connie, whispering something that you can't make out.

Jean clears his throat, and you and Levi look up from the glasses. "You've got to get going?"
you guess, crossing your arms on the counter.

Connie nods. "Yeah. But we-"

"We got you a housewarming gift," Jean interrupts, and you see him reach for the bag slung
across his chest. He pulls out a small box, wrapped in brown paper, and then holds it out to
you. "Here."

"You didn't have to," you say, taking the box from him.

"No, we had to," Connie insists, and Jean smacks him.

You hold the box out to Levi, but he waves you off, gesturing for you to open it. Curious, you
peel away the brown paper, fingernails scratching at the tape that Jean's used to keep the
package together. Finally, you manage to get it pulled away.

Your jaw drops. "A first aid kit?" you say in surprise, looking up to Jean.

Levi huffs, hiding his chuckle. "Nice."

"Well, you're always finding a way to get injured," Jean says, and you can see the tips of his
ears burning red. "And I'm not always going to be there to sit next to you. So..."

You laugh. "Wow."

"That'll be useful," Levi says, returning to his work with unpacking the glasses. "Thanks."

"Hey," you say, feigning a glare.

"We'll be back soon," Connie says, and you look back over to him. "Hopefully you're open by
then."

"Should be, in a few weeks," you confirm, looking to Levi. He shrugs as if to say he doesn't
care. "We're in no rush," you say, looking back to Connie. "We've got..." you trail off. "We've
got all the time in the world."

Connie grins. "Hell yeah."

"I bet you do," Jean says. "Retirement ain't so bad, huh?"

One of Levi's hands sneaks beneath the counter and wraps around your waist, out of sight of
the other two. "Not at all," you say, beaming as he squeezes you lightly without looking away
from his job. "Not at all."

Retirement isn't bad at all.

The ex-Marleyan soldiers are next.

Reiner's perfect for helping to set everything up. He singlehandedly manages to get a couch
upstairs for you and Levi (which is good, because that would've been a pain in the ass for the
two of you to handle) and Annie is a perfect balance between encouraging and deprecating
("You're slower than the elders in the hospital, Reiner, pick up the pace").

Somehow, you and Pieck have actually become decent friends following the ordeal. Turns
out, she's a bit of a tea drinker herself, and she's a huge help with figuring out where to
actually source your tea from and what kind of other things people would probably get with
their tea.

The three of them have also chosen to continue their fight, becoming some of the
ambassadors between countries. Annie complains about the politics and that she'd rather be
anywhere else, but if the rumors about her and Armin are true, then it's obvious that there's
nowhere else she'd rather be.

Reiner volunteers himself for one more task before he and the others are going to take off,
and so you ask him to help get the sign put up. He agrees, and within minutes, he's got a
ladder leaned against the store front and is helping get your sign into place.

"Go make sure he's not doing it wrong," Levi urges, flipping through a page in one of the
catalogs that Pieck brought over. "Last thing we need is him dropping that thing and breaking
it."

"It's likely," Pieck says, setting another stack of papers on the table.
You roll your eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I got it."

You push open the store door and walk over to Annie, who's standing beside the ladder with
her eyes up on Reiner. "How is it?" Reiner calls from the top of the ladder.

"A bit to the left," Annie calls back.

He shifts the sign. "Now?"

"More to the left."

Shift. "Now?"

"A bit more."

"There."

"No, back to the right."

Reiner groans, but shifts the sign back to the right. You fight to hide your smirk. "Here?" he
asks exasperatedly, looking back down to Annie.

Her gaze is unwavering. "I lied. Back to the left."

"Oh, c'mon, Annie!"

You can't help but laugh. Finally, Reiner gets the sign centered and hung up, and he stumbles
back down the ladder. As soon as he's back on solid ground, he smacks Annie lightly across
the shoulder, grumbling.

"It looks great," you say, raising a hand above your eyes to block out the sun.

"No thanks to Annie," Reiner says begrudgingly.

Annie shrugs. "You didn't have to listen to me."

"Thank you," you say gratefully, squeezing Reiner's shoulder. "I appreciate the help."

"Of course," he says, looking up to the sign. "But, uh..."

"What?"

"Don't you think the name is sort of... aggressive?"

You look back up to the sign with the title for your teashop on it. You'd spent all day
yesterday painting it, and you're pleased with how the colors came out. The title is something
you and Levi had pondered for a bit, but ultimately, you two went with something meaningful
versus something sweet and wholesome (Levi had threatened violence upon the sign if the
title was anything remotely cutesy, and you'd felt the same).

"It's an inside joke," you say with a soft smile.

Up on the sign, in the dark green color of the Survey Corps' cloaks, reads Hell's Teashop.

Annie shrugs. "To each his own, I guess."

You laugh. "I guess so."

Mike eventually manages to get himself up on a ship and come visit you (after plenty of
letters with you needling him) and he's not empty handed.

"You brought it all?" you say excitedly as he hauls two suitcases up onto your countertop.
"Everything I asked?"

"Yep," Mike confirms.

He opens up one of the suitcases, and you grin when you see your old green Survey Corps
cloak at the top, covering the rest of the case's contents. You pull it into your arms, hugging it
to your chest. "I've missed this," you murmur, meeting his eyes. "Thank you."

"Of course."

"Is that Mike?" Levi calls, his voice somewhere upstairs.

You crane your neck around. "Yep! He's got what we asked for!"

Footsteps echo down the stairs, and then Levi comes into view. He nods to Mike when he
sees him. "Mike. Good to see you."

"You too," Mike says, and he turns the suitcase towards Levi. "The other one's completely
full too. I did what you guys asked and grabbed as many extras as I could get- hopefully it's
enough. If it's not, send me another letter, and I'll scrape up some more."

"If the other case is full, it should be plenty," Levi muses, tipping his head. "Thank you."

"Thank you," you say quickly, adding your own thanks.

He nods. "Again, it's my pleasure. What's your schedule like?"

You glance at Levi, who's been much better at keeping track of your timetable than you are.
"We should be set to open in a few days," he says. "Provided all those engraving pieces come
in tomorrow like they're supposed to."

Mike nods. "Congrats. We should drink to that."

You laugh. "As long as it's not wine."

"No wine," Levi agrees.

"Whiskey?" Mike suggests.

"Whiskey," you and Levi chorus.

Armin and Mikasa stop by two days after Mike does.

Those two have been the most affected by the end of the battle, even if neither of them will
admit it. According to Armin's letters, Mikasa had become severely withdrawn at first, but
with the help of Sasha and Armin, she'd gotten back on her feet. You're glad; you've been
hoping that Mikasa will get her happy ending.

"You two made it!" you say cheerily when you see Armin step through the door, holding it
open for Mikasa. "Hi!"

"Hi," Armin greets with a grin. You give him a quick hug- god, he's gotten taller. "The place
looks great."

"Thanks! We've put a lot of work into it. Levi's out right now, but he'll be back soon."

"What..."

Mikasa trails off. You glance at her; she's looking at your side wall, eyes wide.

Your smile fades. You step next to Mikasa to look at your wall. "Mike, uh- you remember
Mike?" you ask, and Armin nods, so you continue. "He brought us some stuff from Paradis.
Levi and I, we collected these through the years, and we were- well, we were hoping to honor
them somehow, and this seemed like a good way-"

"Badges," Mikasa breathes.

Badges. That had been what had filled two suitcases for Mike to bring over: all of the badges
Levi had collected over the years, the few that you managed to salvage, and dozens of extras
to recognize the ones you couldn't find. Badges line one of your walls, from the very top edge
all the way down to the floor.

It had been Levi's idea. You'd jumped onto it immediately.

You'd spent ages hanging up every badge, but you'd spent even longer on the miniature
plaques. Levi had managed to find a shop in town that did engravings, and after plenty of
debate with the owner, you two had paid a handsome sum to have a huge number of small
metal rectangles engraved with every name of every scout that had passed away.

Every badge has a small plaque underneath it with a name. You spent ages putting them all
up, but every second had been worth it.

Mikasa steps towards the wall, eyes still wide. Her fingertips trail over the plaque that
reads Mina Carolina. "Everyone?" she murmurs.

"Everyone either of us could remember," you confirm.

Armin steps next to Mikasa, and it's no surprise to you that he manages to find the badge with
the plaque that reads Erwin Smith right away. "Wow," he says, awe evident in his tone. "This
is incredible."

You smile appreciatively. "I'm glad I got this set up before you two came," you say, moving
up to Mikasa's other side. "One second..."

Your eyes scan the names, searching for the one that you know Mikasa's been looking for.

Ruth Kline, Isabel Magnolia, Farlan Church.... he should be around here somewhere... You
frown, dropping your gaze down one row. Marco Bodt, Hanna Diament- ah, here. Right.
Bottom corner.

"Here," you whisper. "Right here."

Armin and Mikasa both squish in next to you, looking to where you're pointing, and you hear
Mikasa inhale sharply.

Eren Jaeger.

Neither of them say anything for a minute. To break the silence, you murmur, "I loved him
too. He was a great kid and a great scout, always with so many questions and so much drive.
That's how I choose to remember him," you add, looking to Mikasa, "so I put him up here.
No one's going to see it unless they're looking for it, so... it should be pretty private."

Mikasa meets your gaze, and to your surprise, there's tears welling up in her eyes.

"It's perfect," Armin says quietly, and you see him squeeze Mikasa's shoulder. "Thank you."

Mikasa nods wordlessly, pinching her lips together.

You smile softly. "Great. I'm glad you guys like it."

"Of course we do," he says. "Thank you. Really."

"Of course."

It's not much, but it's your version of a tribute. A tribute to the boy who never stopped asking
questions- who never stopped seeking answers.

You meet Mikasa's eyes again. "Do you two want tea?"

She nods. "That would be nice."

And so you do. You start boiling water while you show Armin and Mikasa the extensive
collection of tea that you and Levi had put together, and once the water's boiled, you pour out
tea for everyone. You all sit and catch up, learning more about what Armin's been up to as a
peace ambassador and such.

Mikasa's right. It's nice.

.

Before you know it, you're almost ready for opening day.

And none other than two of the most annoying yet endearing children you'll ever know are
banging at your door.

"It's opening day, right?" Gabi say excitedly as she barges in, the tiny bell ringing as she
comes through the door. "Right?"

"Tomorrow," you say, grinning.

Falco scowls, grabbing Gabi's shoulder. "I told you it was tomorrow!"

"No, you said it was today!"

"I said it was tomorrow!"

"Oi, you little shits," Levi calls from the kitchen. "Keep it down or I'll kick you out."

Both Gabi and Falco quiet, but neither of them stop talking. They change to hushed whispers
as they start to hunt through the shelves. You roll your eyes and go back to your box, pulling
out some of the items that you're planning on using for your display. The two kids have come
in before, more just to drop in and say hi than anything else, and Levi's already instilled the
'you break it, you buy it' mentality into both of them.

The bell above the door jingles again, and you look up to the entrance. Immediately, you grin.
"You came!" you say excitedly.

"Hi!" Sasha squeals, running towards you. You hug her without hesitation, squeezing briefly
before you let go. "We wanted to see the place before you opened it, and Gabi and Falco just
ran ahead of us."

"Us?" you ask, and you see Niccolo push through the door next. You grin. "Hey, Niccolo."

"Hey," he greets, glancing towards where Gabi and Falco are squabbling over some of the
small tea boxes. "They haven't broken anything yet?"

"Keyword is yet," Levi says, coming up behind you. He nods. "Niccolo."

You glance between the two of them. "Is this your first time meeting each other?" you ask,
and Levi nods. "Ah! Well, Levi, this is Niccolo, Sasha's boyfriend, and Niccolo, this is Levi."

He offers a wave. "I've heard stories."

"They're all wrong," Levi dismisses immediately.

"Okay, wait," Sasha says excitedly, and she steps back from you. "You have to see this."

She holds up her hand, and your jaw drops.

"You're engaged?" you whisper-shout, eyes wide.

She nods quickly, her smile stretching from ear to ear. "Just last night!"

"Holy shit!" you say excitedly, and you grab onto Sasha again. She laughs as you squeeze
her, grinning like a madman into her shoulder. "Oh my god, Sasha! Congratulations! This is
amazing!"

"We didn't want to wait," Niccolo say from behind her.

"Wait, wait, let me see the ring," you insist, and you pull back from Sasha so that she can
show it to you. "Oh, Sasha," you say with a happy sigh. "That's beautiful. Niccolo, you've got
fantastic taste." You pull her in for another hug, your grin starting to hurt your face. "This is
amazing, congratulations. Your wedding's going to be fantastic, I'm sure."

"You weren't this excited when I proposed to you," Levi grumbles from behind you.

You roll your eyes, detaching yourself from Sasha. "Of course I was. You don't remember it
because you were too busy being scared shitless for what I was going to say."

"Hardly," Levi objects, heading towards the back.

"I get it," Niccolo mutters, a knowing look in his eyes. "I totally get it."

"Captain," Sasha calls, eyebrows furrowed, "should you really be lifting all that?"

Levi's got two crates balanced on his shoulders that he's taking towards the storage area at the
back of the shop. You wave Sasha off. "He's fine," you insist. "He's been carrying stuff all
day."

"All day?" the brunette says. "Captain, you should rest."

"I'll rest when I'm dead," Levi calls back before he vanishes around a corner.

You roll your eyes again and turn back to Sasha, taking her hands. "And how's the
restaurant?" you ask, glancing at Niccolo.

He nods, smiling. "Good. Business is better than ever. You should have no trouble getting
customers."

"You're nearby?" you hear Levi say. You turn your head; he's walking back towards you.

You nod. "They're just down the boardwalk. Actually, it was Niccolo who recommended this
place to me."

Levi raises his eyebrows. "Huh."

"It's a great stretch," the chef says modestly, shrugging. "Lots of good people."
"Are you guys almost set up?" Gabi calls from where she's squatting by a shelf. "Can we
help?"

"Are you going to break shit?" Levi asks.

Both she and Falco raise their hands in a sign of surrender. "No, sir!" they chorus.

He sighs. "Fine. Get over here."

Levi takes the box of display items from you as Gabi and Falco scamper over, eager to help
with your decorations. You see him berate Gabi for mishandling one of your more delicate
pieces, and you can't help but smile. Levi always claims he's not good with kids ("if there's
ever any children in this store, you're dealing with them") but it's all for show.

"Is that what's next for you?"

You look back up to Sasha. "Sorry?"

"Kids."

You shrug, looking back to Levi. He's detangling some strings of lights with the help of
Falco. "Not really," you say, looking back to Sasha. You reach out and pinch her cheek,
smiling. "I think we've got enough kids to deal with already."

She laughs. "We're not kids."

"You say that, but you should've seen Connie when he was in here last."

"Fair enough."

Sasha and Niccolo both help you and Levi with the rest of the decorations you've collected.
Between the six of you, you're able to set things up rather quickly, even with Levi constantly
going back to correct whatever mishap Falco and Gabi have caused. He complains about it,
but you know he doesn't mind.

Niccolo is helping Sasha set up the carpet by the door when Gabi calls out your name. "Are
you opened, or are you closed?" she calls, pulling a small sign out of the box.

Ah, right. Levi bought one of those signs to stick on the door that's got OPEN scrawled on
one side and CLOSED on the other. "Should be closed," you say with a roll of your eyes as
you walk over. "The only people we're open to right now are you guys..."

You trail off when you see the sign.

The front says Open! in a nice large font, but it's the other side that catches your eye. Closed-
see you soon! is scrawled on the back.

See you soon.

You smile to yourself, turning to Levi. He's got Falco up on his shoulders so that Falco can
help hang some of the string lights on the top of the shelf.

"Yeah, you can put that up," you say softly, looking back to Gabi. "Please."

Gabi's eyes linger on you. "Something special about the sign?" she asks.

Subconsciously, you reach for your ring finger so that you can twist your wedding ring. "No,"
you lie, smiling. "I can just see why he picked it."

Gabi lets the topic drop and heads to the front door, ready to hang the sign up. You glance
around the tiny teashop that you and Levi have chosen to call home. Everything's just about
set up, and it's beyond anything that you ever could've hoped for. It's quaint and it's homey,
which is all you could've wanted.

A few minutes later, everything else is set up. Levi wanders over next to you so that the two
of you can stand in the center of the shop, surveying what all your hard work has gone into.

"All set," he muses. "Who would've thought."

"Not us," you joke, looking at him.

Levi reaches for your hand, tangling his fingers with yours. You squeeze his palm. "Not us,"
he agrees, eyes lingering on the wall lined with badges.

Your eyes subconsciously seek out the badge with the plaque that reads Hange Zoe.

"Hange knew," you murmur. "They knew we'd make it."

Levi squeezes your palm. "Erwin too."

Yeah. Both of them did.

A happy warmth is blossoming in your chest. You turn to Sasha and Niccolo, who are
murmuring to each other and looking at your wall of badges. "Hey, Niccolo," you say with a
smile. "I think we'll take you up on that dinner now."

Levi blinks. "Dinner?"

Niccolo grins. "I got it."

Niccolo pulls every single string he can possibly manage.

His restaurant down the boardwalk is fairly well known and always busy, but somehow, the
blond chef manages to clear their rooftop dining area for just you and Levi. It's a perfect spot:
from your table on the roof, you can see the long stretch of beach and listen to the waves
rolling up on shore. In the distance, you can see your teashop, tucked away further down the
boardwalk.
It's an absolute perfect setting, and the weather cooperates completely. The skies are clear and
the air is warm, making it a perfect night for you and Levi to sit up on the roof and eat one of
the best dinners you've ever had. It's private and absolutely perfect.

Niccolo personally attends to you the whole night, bringing in more food than you've ever
seen in your life. It all tastes like something straight out of a dream, and it only becomes
more perfect when Niccolo finishes off your meal with a pot of tea.

"It won't be as good as yours," he says as he sets the pot down, "but I hope it's sufficient."

"It's fine," Levi says, taking the tea cup from Niccolo. "Thanks."

Neither of you are used to anything this nice. The three years you had when you were
married started to get a little bit better: the capture of Wall Maria and disposal of the titans
meant more land, which meant more food to be grown. The addition of the Marleyan
volunteers had only opened your options even more.

Still, nothing compares to this. "Thank you," you say genuinely to Niccolo.

He nods. "I promised you this. I'm just glad you like it."

Niccolo leaves to head back down the stairs to the restaurant, and Levi takes the pot to pour
tea for the two of you. You gaze at him as he does it; the sky has long since gone dark and the
moonlight is making his skin glow. He's ethereal.

"Thanks," you murmur when he hands you a cup. You bring it to your lips, letting the heat
burn your throat as you take a sip. "It's good," you assure him.

Levi hums in assent, pulling his own cup towards him. "If it's even half as good as that meal,
it'll be fine."

"Right?" you agree. "That food was insane."

"Dangerously good," Levi agrees, nodding.

You're about to respond when there's a crash, and both you and Levi straighten up. Your eyes
whip to the source of the sound: someone down on the boardwalk has dropped a glass. Two
people are helping him to clean it up.

You glance back to Levi. The two of you are both stiff, and his eyes are still glued to the
source of the noise. This has happened before: some sudden sound makes both of you jump
and shifts you both to being on edge.

Being battle-ready never really leaves, does it?

"You think we'll ever be okay?" you muse, glancing across the beach.

Levi's quiet for a minute. He knows exactly what you're talking about. These hardened
instincts, what you've needed to survive. They're not something you can just... get rid of.
 "I have you," Levi says quietly. "I'll be okay."

Your chest feels warm. "Sap," you mutter, taking a sip of your tea to try and combat the heat
in your cheeks.

When you look back towards him, he's smiling. "I love you," he says.

"I love you too," you agree, lips twitching. "Is that how I can get you to say it more? Feed
you tea and make you say something sappy?"

"The tea helps."

You laugh, looking back up to the sky. It's perfectly clear tonight, the dark sky dotted with
hundreds of perfect stars. There's not a cloud to be seen. The air is warm, with a light breeze
occasionally flowing across the beach. The moon is a perfect crescent, shedding light onto
the water and illuminating your partner's face. Subconsciously, you reach to your neck,
fiddling with the moon charm that you've yet to take off.

You look back to Levi. He's staring at you, the corners of his mouth tipped upward.

He raises his tea cup. Beaming, you raise your cup up to him, tapping it lightly against his.
"We won," Levi says.

You pause. "Sorry?"

"We won," he repeats, his good eye shining like silver in the moonlight. "Remember? We
fight fate, and we win. Well, we won."

He's right. Battle after battle, war after war. Fighting your way back from amnesia to get
yourselves here. Too many lost along the way, too many people that lost their lives just to
help get you and Levi to this point. So many people rooting for you; so many forces that kept
driving the two of you together, no matter what stood in your way. The two of you have truly
been to hell and back.

Your eyes flicker up to two particularly bright stars behind Levi's head before looking back to
him. You smile to yourself; you know exactly who those two are.

"We won," you repeat, smiling.

Levi smiles in return.

Yeah. You'll be okay.

Chapter End Notes

So. We're done.

EDIT: my lovely, lovely friend thatdesklamp (if you've seen our correspondence, then
you understand) has written a little spinoff of this fic featuring Logan, and it's one of the
best things I've ever seen. Please for the love of all that is good, go give it a read here.
This truly made me tear up.

I say it every chapter but I really can't say it enough: thank you all so much. This story
wouldn't be what it is without the people reading, so truly: thank you guys. I love you all
and your comments always make my world go round.

My writing journey ain't over. I heard y'all and I listened: zombie apocalypse fic is up,
and you can read that here!

Support links! <3

Once again, I really don't know what I'd do without you guys. I started writing on here
less than 9 months ago and it's truly changed my life and done wonders for my mental
health. (fun fact: in the past 9 months I wrote an average of 10k words a week! yikes)
After this zombie fic is done, I'm gonna take a break- I start school again in January and
I guarantee I'm going to be in over my head.

I love you all. For those of you who stopped seeing it as an x Reader fic and started
seeing Logan as her own character: thank you for loving Logan as much as I do.

You all have my heart. See you soon. XOXO

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