Using Texts To Get Your Ex Back

to get your ex back
BY Brad Browning
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
why text meesages?
Why Did They Leave You?
Fools Rush IN
The Peace Treaty

Peace Treaty 1: The First Contact Text
Peace Treaty 2: The Apathy Text
Peace Treaty 3: The “Signing the Treaty” Text
You Get an Uninspired Response
You Get a Positive Response
You Get a Negative Response
You Get an Apologetic ResponsE
You Don’t Get any Response
The Highlight Reel

Pleasant Speaking Terms
Very Little Conversation
Full Blown ConversationS
Full Blown Conversation with Sexual Overtones
The Favor Texts

Favor 1: The Recommendation Text
Favor 2: The Support Text
Favor 3: The Obligation Text
USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 2

INTRODUCTION
There is no secret to a long-lasting relationship, because everyone
is different and every relationship will go through its own trials and
tribulations.
However, the one thing you can nearly always rely on is that the relationship
will never be perfect.
Ask your parents, grandparents or friends—anyone who has been in a

relationship for a long time—and they’ll tell you that it was never all plain
sailing. They’ll tell you that there were major ups and downs, and most
of them will tell you that they went through several break-ups in the early
years.
Break-ups are commonplace in every long-term relationship, which proves

two things:
1. No relationship is perfect
2. A break-up doesn’t have to be the end.
If you have just been dumped then you may be hurting, you may hate
yourself or your partner and you may be confused as to the whys and the
hows.
Whatever you’re feeling, and whatever questions are running through your
head, there’s a good chance that your main concern is, “How do I get them
back?”
This book will answer that question and show you a series of text messages
that will get your ex back nearly every time.

Why Text Messages?
I know what you’re thinking: why text messages?
After all, if you want to convey love and passion text messages aren’t ideal.
There is no emphasis, no body language, and you’re giving the recipient of
your messages an easy out.
If you’re standing right in front of them asking a question they won’t simply
blank you and walk away, but with a text message they can effectively do
just that.
So what makes them so effective?
In actual fact, the many apparent downsides of text messages are what
makes them so effective.
There’s no body language, so there’s no awkwardness; there’s no time

constraint, so there’s no need to rush. How many times have you had
a conversation with someone and gotten so nervous that you’ve said
something stupid, only to think to yourself later, “I wish I’d said this”?

With text messages, you can say the right things at the right time and not
just in hindsight.
You have time to think, time to act, time to measure your replies in a way
that generates the results you seek. Text messages are also easy to track,
measure and record, which is why we know that everything contained within
this book works.
These methods have been used thousands of times on thousands of

relationships, and they work nearly every time. We’ve witnessed first-hand
just how effective they are and we’ve been fine-tuning them and perfecting
them over the course of several years now.
A relationship doesn’t have to be over if you don’t want it to be. There was a
reason they began dating you in the first place, a reason they chose you over
everyone else, and you can help them to rediscover that reason and to come
back into your life.
Just use the text messages and the advice outlined in this book.

Why Did They Leave You?
The first step to getting your ex back is to learn just why they left you in the first
place. In the days and weeks after a break-up, it’s easy to convince yourself that
they simply don’t find you attractive or they don’t like your personality, but if that
was the case then they wouldn’t have been with you in the first place.
Unless your personality or looks have changed considerably since you first got
together, this is not the issue (and if they did, getting your ex back could be as
simple as rediscovering your old self).
The real issue tends to be a little more complicated.

Most breakups begin with the cliché: “It’s not you, it’s me”. They may not
actually use those words—these words have become so synonymous with
half-hearted breakups and Hollywood clichés that few people would ever
dare use them—but they will use a variant of them.
They may tell you that you’ve been great and they enjoyed the time you
spent together, but that ultimately they just didn’t feel it was working.
They may tell you that they really like you, but they’re too busy, too career-
minded, or just not in the mood for a relationship right now.
Whatever they say, there’s a good chance you’ll get “it’s not you, it’s me”
when you read between the lines, and 99% of the time, this translates to,
“it’s all you, and I want someone better.”
That’s the bad news. The good news is that regardless of what they say and
what they mean, you can always get them back.

But before we look at the ways that you can do this, we need some clarity
on the reasons they left. If used properly, the text messages in this book will
work and you’ll get your ex back, but if you’re the same person that they
grew tired of and didn’t want to be with anymore, it’ll be over again before
you have time to pat yourself on the back.
If you can’t put your finger on the reason that your partner left you, you can
guarantee it’s because you are one of the follow:
Too Jealous
Jealously is a vicious beast, a green-eyed monster that can ravage any

relationship. Jealously is even more common in the social media age, as
everyone is a click away from connecting with an attractive, available man/
woman whom they can have an affair with.
It’s a perfectly normal trait, and you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling it, but
under no circumstances should you let that beast out of its cage. If you’re

constantly questioning your partner’s activity and demanding to see their
messages or Facebook account, they’ll leave you.
And so they should—no one deserves to go through that insane level of

jealousy.
Too Controlling
A controlling nature often stems from jealously, but it’s also common in
macho men who are dating women and see those women as objects or
slaves. Typically, they’re following behavior bred into them by fathers and
grandfathers, but this isn’t the 1950s—no one deserves to live through that
sort of controlling behavior.
If you saw your partner as yours and only yours, if you demanded insight
into every aspect of their lives and controlled what hey ate, how they
dressed or who they saw, there’s a good chance that’s why they left you.
They just wanted their freedom, and who can blame them?

Too Submissive
As bad as a controlling nature is, being submissive is just as detrimental.

Men and women tend to prefer partners who are strong minded and
independent, and it’s possible to be both of these things without being
controlling. It’s like comparing arrogance to confidence, they can appear
similar on the surface, but there are vast differences with regards to how
others perceive them.
You can stand your ground without forcing your beliefs on others; you can
choose your own hobbies and beliefs without ramming them down other
people’s throats.
Too Moody
If you spend your days moaning, acting neurotic and generally being
difficult, that could be why your partner left you. Think about it from their
point of view—would you prefer someone who is happy-go-lucky, confident
and makes you laugh and feel good about yourself, or someone who moans/
whinges all the time and always brings you down?
Men and women want partners that light-up the room when they walk in,
not partners that create a wave of audible groans wherever they go.
Too Lazy
Laziness is damaging to your career and your love life. It’s a bad habit that
greatly affects how others perceive you and can turn love and lust into
frustration and hate. If you spent your days avoiding hard work, letting your
partner pick-up after you as if they were your mother and/or sleeping all day,
that could be why they left.

Too Dull
Early on, relationships are exciting—filled with fun, adventure and

discoveries. After a few months, the chase stops, the effort is reined in, and
a relationship that was once explosive, spontaneous and filled with new
adventures and new stories, becomes a dull slog.
A night on the town turns into “Netflix and chill”, three-course dinners turn
into takeout pizza, and all-night sex marathons turn into drunken quickies.
Women are more prone to feeling bored in a relationship and men are more
prone to making them bored, as they have a tendency to settle down and
reel-in their efforts when they think the job is done. If you’re a man and you
can’t understand why you’ve had so many failed relationships that seem to
begin well, this could be the reason.

Fools Rush In
Before we get started there are a few things we need to clarify.
Firstly, this is not a quick fix. These messages are designed to be sent over the
course of days to carefully rebuild a broken relationship, as opposed to forcing a
quick fix that results in brief make-up sex and nothing more.
It’s akin to fixing a broken pipe. You can slap on some duct tape and stem the flow
for a few hours or days, but eventually it’ll burst through and create even more
problems.
Secondly, these text messages will only work if they are the only contact you
have with your ex. You can’t send messages pretending to be hard-to-get
one minute and then show up at their house with a boombox and a cheesy
eighties song the next.
So no matter how tempted you are, no matter how desperate you are, keep
your conversations to text and don’t harass them by phone or in person.
Getting your ex back requires a carefully constructed, methodical plan of
action, and there is no room for pleading, stalking, or any kind of desperate
behavior.
Thirdly, you need to give yourself and your ex some breathing space. Don’t start
sending these text messages as soon as the relationship is over. Give them
time to breathe, give yourself time to get over the anger and the hurt.
Wait for the dust to settle.

Finally, your reason for wanting your ex back is very important. If you
genuinely love them, or believe that you do, then great—go for it. If you’re
doing it because they were great in bed, but deep down you know that you’re
not right for each other—move on.
If you’re doing it because they broke your heart and you want to break
theirs, that’s not a good reason. We get it, love hurts and it’s normal to want
revenge. But if that’s the only reason you can think of for getting back with
them, they were right to break up with you. It clearly wasn’t a good fit.
Respect them for their decision and move on, there are greener pastures ahead.
If you think they made a mistake and lost something good, and if you genuinely
love them and think you have a future together, it’s time to win them back.
The following system works whether you’re male or female and it works for
all age groups and preferences, but it also relies on your ex having a phone
that they actually use.
If they live in the dark ages and don’t use any kind of instant communication, we
can’t help. If they don’t use their phone for texts, for whatever reason, you can still
use this system on Facebook messenger or whatever other platform they use.

The Peace Treaty
A break-up is a war. It’s an acrimonious, bitter and occasionally hostile period.
The first step to creating an allegiance, therefore, is to establish neutrality and
that means swapping anger for calm, hatred for respect, and bitter memories for
pleasant ones.
We want peace, and to get that we need to send a few texts that establish
contact and calm the animosities. These texts can’t, under any circumstance
do any of the following:
• Say Nothing: “What’s Up?” is a cop-out that benefits no one. It’s a message
that the vast majority of men send when trying to establish contact
with a woman, but it never works. It doesn’t say anything, it doesn’t do
anything, and it’s more likely to annoy the recipient than entice them.
The same goes for messages like, “Hey” and anything else just as short
and pointless.
• Say Something Negative: You might be feeling bitter, but that doesn’t mean
you should be petty and start reeling-off the things your ex did wrong.
If you want them back, you have to be positive, otherwise you’re just
reminding them why they left you.
• Say Something Needy: The absolute worst thing you can do is say something
like, “I need you” or “please come back”. It’s desperate, needy, and an
immediate turn-off. You need to make them respect you, not pity you.

The biggest issue that people have when trying to re-establish contact is to
make it all about them. This mindset is behind every pointless text sent in
such a scenario.
The “What’s up?” text is their way of saying, “I know I need to send
something and establish contact, but I don’t want to commit to anything
meaningful”.
The “I need you” text says “my feelings matter more than yours, so please
pander to them”.
It’s not about you anymore. For the purpose of getting your ex back, you
need to make it about them. Make them feel good about themselves, give
them the attention they want and the happiness they deserve, don’t just play
on their pity.
Peace Treaty 1: The First Contact Text
Your first text message should be completely neutral and devoid of pity and
blame, but at the same time it should remind them of how good things were
when you were together.
They’ve been through break-ups before, they’ll know that exes send pity-
filled and emotion filled messages, so if you send them something else,
they’ll assume you’re not hurting, they’ll assume you’re on the same level as
them, and that’s what you want.
The First Contact message can follow this format:
Hey! I just came across [this thing] that reminds me of

[a time you spent together] and I thought you might be interested.

As an example, you might say:
OR I just heard that the

local Taco Bell is
closing down. Can
Hey! I found this you remember that
hilarious news story time we went in drunk
about a lost dog and and they gave us free
it reminded me of OR food? What a shame.
that dog we came
across during our trip
to Paris. Thought you
might like it.
I just heard that Iron

Maiden are doing a
show in [your city].
Remember how great
they were when we
saw them a few years
ago? Thought you
might be interested as
tickets are selling fast.
It can be a link to a news story, it can be an upcoming event. It just has to

be something neutral, expressed in neutral way, but recalling a memory that
made your ex happy.
Just make sure that the memory it recalls is not sexual. If it recalls an
innocent event during a vacation in which you happened to have a lot of
great sex, perfect, but if the text is all about the sex, such as sending them a
news story about how vacation sex always lasts longer, it should be avoided.
You want to come across as someone who has just stumbled upon
something that recalls an innocent memory, not someone who is sitting
there masturbating over sex memories.

Peace Treaty 2: The Apathy Text
The relationship ended, you gave yourself time to move on, for the anger,
bitterness and hurt to go away, and then you sent the First Contact text to
re-establish contact.
The next step is what we call The Apathy Text, because the goal is to come
across as aloof and uncaring, regardless of how chaotic the relationship was
or how hurtful the break-up was. But you have to be careful how you send
this message.
The absolute worst thing you can do is to send something like:
I’m glad our relationship is over. I didn’t like you much anyway.
If they have any feelings for you, they’ll vanish in an instant because they’ll
see you as petty. If not, you’ve just validated all their reasons for disliking you.

Believe it or not, this message, or rather variants of it, are very common and
they are usually sent in a fit of anger and bourbon.
Instead of unleashing all that bitterness, you want to take a neutral

approach while at the same time complementing them.
This shows them that you are not simply going to be waiting for them
whenever they feel lonely and whenever their new relationship fails, and
it attaches that understanding with the positive and uplifting feeling that
comes with receiving a compliment from someone they know well.
If you can send this at a time when you know they are feeling a little
depressed or stressed, such as when they have a tough exam, interview, or
something use coming up, even better.
The message should contain a compliment and well wishes, but it should
come across as genuine and not bitter, and it should be clear that your goal
is not to beg them to be with you again.
Apathy Text Example 1
I know I wasn’t the

easiest person to be
with before the break-
up and I just want to
apologize for that.
Thanks for not losing
your head with me,
you’re a much stronger
person than I am. I
hope we can continue
being friends.

I hope you’re doing

well. I enjoyed the time
we spent together,
you really are a great
person and anyone
would be lucky to have
you. I know you will
find someone special.
If you ever need

someone to talk to,
you know where to
find me. You helped
me through a lot and
were always great to
talk to. If you need
a friend you know
where to find me.
It’s important to choose your words very carefully here. Subtly is key. If you
text something like this for instance,:
I know we’re not together anymore and I’m cool with that, but I just wanted
to say that you’re great and I’d love to stay in touch as friends.
It’s a little too on-the-nose and comes across as insincere.

Avoid stating outright that you’re apathetic or happy with the break-up, and
whatever you do, don’t make the compliment about how they look. You
want to be seen as a future friend—when was the last time you messaged
your friend to say they had a great ass?
Peace Treaty 3: The “Signing the Treaty” Text
The final step of any peace negotiation is for both sides to sign the treaty
and to live as per its terms. So, the final step of this Peace Treaty process
is to make sure you’re both on the same page and to establish your
relationship.
Of course, as with all peace negotiations, it’s not always cut-and-dry. There
can be complications and unexpected outcomes. You may get a reply that
you weren’t expecting or can’t deal with, they may ignore you entirely.

Fortunately, whatever happens, we have you covered:
1. You Get an Uninspired Response
If they reply with something short, then you may be tempted to reel off
another long text or even to try again, but this would be a mistake. What you
actually want to do is reply in an equally ambiguous and non-committed way.
For instance:
I’m okay. Thanks for

asking.
Glad to hear it. I’m just

heading off to grab a
beer with friends now.
Speak later.
If they don’t even give you

that much to work with
and offer you something
Thanks!
even more succinct, reply
in kind. For instance:
You’re welcome.
Don’t worry if you feel like you’re killing the conversation, they clearly don’t
care about that and you shouldn’t either. You can always pick it back up
again later with the texts discussed in the latter pages of this book.

2. You Get a Positive Response
This is the easiest one to reply to. If you get a positive response, it means
they could be ready to take you back.
We all make mistakes, and when we do we rarely want to admit to them.

They might feel bad for breaking up with you and could be waiting
desperately for a way back in. You just need to give it to them.
For instance:
It’s great to hear from

you again! So, how
you been, how’s your
music coming along,
are you busy?
I’m doing great,

thanks. I was actually
going to go to a gig
tomorrow. I can get
another ticket if you’re
interested?

You’ll have to judge this one yourself based on their excitement. If they ask
if you’re busy, there’s a good chance they’re digging for a date. The same
applies if they reel off the questions like they’re on Jeopardy. If, however,
they keep it simply but positive, such as,:
I’m great, thanks.

You?
I’m great, it’s good to

hear from you.
Then you should refer to number 1. Believe it or not, as positive as it sounds,

these are really just as uninspired as the aforementioned texts.
The difference is that they’re not asking you a bunch of questions to provide
you with an easy reply, they’re not covering all bases to guarantee that reply,
and they’re not asking about your plans.
3. You Get a Negative Response
This is without a doubt the hardest one to deal with, both from an emotional
point of view and a technical one. These texts can come across as cruel and
horrible, but as difficult as they are to deal with, your hopes of getting your
ex back are not yet dwindled.
The trick here is to be passive. Don’t return their anger with equally bitter
and cruel words, simply take the comments onboard, leave them with a
polite message, and then be on your way.

For instance
What is wrong with

you! What makes you
think you can message
me again? LEAVE ME
ALONE. I never want to
hear from you again—I
left you for a reason!
I’m really sorry. I didn’t

realize you felt that
way. I hope you’re well.
or
LEAVE ME ALONE. I
hate you, you piece
of shit!
Okay. Sorry.

Think about it for a second. If you shout at someone and expect them to shout
back, only for them to lower their head, apologize and walk away, you’re going to
feel pretty bad, aren’t you? You’re going to start wondering if you’re the bad guy.
That’s what this passive approach does.
Once you’ve sent the text, you need to let it stew. They will either send a
reply to apologize and then give you an excuse, in which case you can jump
on it and try to converse:
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t

have said that. I was
just stressed because
of work and I let it get
to me.
I understand. If I
worked as hard and
as long as you, I
think I’d need several
gallons of whiskey
just to de-stress. You
still at the same job?
Or they will simply ignore you, all while feeling bad about what they said. You
can then follow it up with one of the messages discussed later in this book.
4. You Get an Apologetic Response
If they are apologetic about the breakup and everything that went with it, it
could be their way of telling you that they made a mistake and they want
you back.

In such cases you need to continue to play it cool, telling them it’s okay, that
you don’t hate them for it, and then continuing the conversation.
I’ve actually been

thinking a lot about
us and I’m really
sorry for everything.
I know I was horrible
to you and you didn’t
deserve that. Do you
hate me for it?
Of course not, and

you were fine, stop
worrying! So, how you
been lately?

Whatever you do, however, don’t be quick to ask them on a date. Make them
want you and ask you, and if they don’t then you can bring it up a few days
later, using a later text message as a guide.
5. You Don’t Get any Response
It’s normal for your ex to ignore you, so don’t worry if this happens. How you
deal with it will depend on the circumstance.
If you went through an acrimonious split, or you harassed them immediately

afterward (which includes everything from stalking to sending bitter
messages or drunk phone calls), then you need to wait. Give them time to
forget about you, time for that anger to turn into apathy, and then try again.
If you did everything right but they’re still ignoring you, just wait for a
few days and then try again, using the texts outlined later in this book as
opposed to repeating the ones above.

The Highlight Reel
Highlight Reel texts are messages that recall great moments in your relationship
and then let those moments speak for themselves.
Most relationships end badly and many are littered with bad moments, but we
tend to forget these and gloss them over with good memories.
This principle doesn’t just apply to relationships. How many times have you
heard someone say, “It was so much better in my day” or “In my youth, everything
was better”.
There’s a good chance that your grandparents and great grandparents said
this, even though they lived through the 40s, when the world was at war,
genocide was commonplace, civil rights were non-existent and crime was
rampant.
They don’t see that because they only remember the good, and
relationships work in the same way.
So, much like your grandmother’s Facebook friend, who always posts
nonsense about how great the 50s/60s were and triggers a lecture from your
nagging, slightly racist grandmother, your goal is to trigger a good memory
and make your ex believe that your relationship was all great.
There are a few ways that you can do this and it will all depend on where you
are with your ex following the Peace Treat texts:

1. Pleasant Speaking Terms
If you and your ex are speaking again thanks to the Peace Treaty texts, then
the memory of a happy event will suffice, triggering a conversation that will
allow you to take it further.
Don’t worry about asking a question, just make sure you’re triggering the
memory and leaving them an opening to reply.
Highlight Reel Text Example 1 Highlight Reel Text Example 2
I just found that Do you remember

caricature we had that time we visited
done on our first your parent’s cabin?
vacation. I had no All the while you were
idea my head was convinced we were
twice the size of my going to be murdered
body, or that I owned by some escaped
a Ferrari. He also murderer.
has you pinned as
a golfer, how’s your
handicap these days?
:)
I just found a picture

of us in costume when
we went to Steve
and Julie’s party. You
looked great as a
cowboy—I can’t even
remember what I was
supposed to be!
Highlight Reel Text Example 3

2. Very Little Conversation
If only a few pleasant words have been exchanged between you and your
ex, then you’ll need to work a little harder so that you don’t come across
as pushy or desperate. The trick is to make it look like something just
happened to remind you of the event, and to leave them with a question so
that you can engage them a little:
I just met the I just met the rudest

friendliest dog ever on waiter in the world.
the street. It reminded Reminded me of
me of that stray dog that stuck-up Italian
that followed us waiter we saw that
around on the streets time. If I remember
of Paris, what did you rightly, you wanted to
name it again? kill him by the end of
the night! That was
at [name of different
restaurant]*, right?
My parents have just

booked a holiday to
Spain. $2,000 they
paid! Can you imagine
that? What was it we
paid a few years ago,
like $250, right? *The idea here is that
they’ll respond to correct
you, but to avoid coming
across as abrupt they won’t
just state the name of the
restaurant and will feel
obliged to say more.

3. Full Blown Conversations
If you’re talking freely with your ex and think you’re on the verge of getting
them back, you can push your luck a little.
The trick here is to recall memories that involve times when you had great
sex or spent some high quality romantic time together, without actually
mentioning the sex:
Remember that time

Highlight Reel Text Example 7 we are so drunk we
went through the
drive-thru making
car noises and then
crashed at my friend’s
house? The look on
his face when he saw
us the next morning…
naked and surrounded
by taco bell wrappers.

Remember when we Do you remember

snuck whiskey into that old Station
the cinema and got Wagon my dad
wasted in the back drove? I just heard
row of a horror film? that the guy he sold it
I still can’t remember to totaled it. Shame.
what that film was… We had some good
times in that thing!

4. Full Blown Conversation with Sexual Overtones
If your ex has begun flirting with you again, but hasn’t quite taken the
plunge and gone full-blown sexual, then it’s time to take the initiative.
Don’t be overtly sexual with your Highlight Reel texts, don’t even mention
the sex if you can avoid it, but make sure that everything else is said and
their memory will fill-in the gaps.
Remember that hotel Do you remember

we stayed at in Paris that hike we took
What a night that was. together in the
What was it we were summer of 2015? We
drinking again? spent a fortune on
camping gear and
spent hours planning,
only to end up
spending the entire
week naked in a tent.
Now that’s the sort of
camping I like…
I just found a picture
of us during our
vacation to NYC.
Can’t remember much
about that holiday,
except that we spent
a lot of time in the
hotel room. It’s a
shame we didn’t take
any pictures of that!

The Favor Texts
By now, you should be talking freely and comfortably with your ex. They may
have been very receptive, giving you the idea that they are willing to get back
together with you; they may be very quiet, suggesting quite the opposite.
If it’s the latter, then you need to take it easy. Give it more time, try a few more
of the texts above, and wait until they start to communicate a bit more. If it’s the
former, then it’s time to move onto the Favor Texts, which come in three parts.
These texts, if used correctly and at the right stage in the process, will help you to
win your ex back without fail.
They rely on a few basic principles of psychology, including one lesser
known principle that has been referred to as the “Ben Franklin Effect”. This
basically states that someone is more inclined to like you and do big things
for you, if they have already done small things for you.
This is a trick often used in marketing and it plays on our altruistic

sensibilities and our need to be liked.
One of the most commonly cited examples is of an election campaign. If a

campaigner knocks on your door and asks if they can park their campaign truck
in your driveway and use your house as a meeting place, you’re obviously going
to say no. But if they ask politely if they can add a small sticker to your mailbox
advertising a candidate, you’re probably going to say yes.
It’s just a sticker after all—they asked politely and it’s no skin off you nose.

But after the sticker has been placed, you’re more likely to agree to a
wooden sign on your lawn, and then to a large banner, and then to allowing
the candidate in your home. And before you know it, your desperate need
to please has resulted in you agreeing to their initial offer, which seemed
preposterous at the time.
Your job is made easier by the fact that your end goal doesn’t involving
invading someone’s property and by the fact that you already know the person
you’re targeting and have had a close relationship with them in the past.
Favor 1: The Recommendation Text
The first step in this process is to ask for a simple recommendation. The
beauty of this is that they won’t feel like they are going out of their way to
provide you with it, but at the same time they will be laying the groundwork
for you to utilize the Ben Franklin Effect.
What’s more, most people are delighted to offer their opinions as it makes
them feel special—they know something you don’t and that knowledge is
going to benefit you.

Use this to your advantage with a message framed as follows: [brief lead-in]
[recommendation]
Recommendation Text Example 1 Recommendation Text Example 2
Do you know any Do you know of any

good places to eat good hotels in the
around you? Going area? Got some
to be there over the family coming over
weekend with a friend and I’m trying to
and it’s been ages avoid them staying
since I’ve eaten out! with me. You know
what they’re like!
What was that place

you used to take your
baby sister on her
birthday? My little
niece is in town and
I need somewhere to
keep her busy.
Recommendation Text Example 3

If you believe that you are close to winning them back then you can
use the following format: [brief lead-in] [recommendation] [hint at
companionship]
Got any good

Do you know of any
recommendations
good gyms in the area,
for a steakhouse? I
preferably ones with
had arranged to go
a personal trainer? I
to a fancy restaurant
always push myself
with some friends
harder if someone is
but they just bailed
there to spot me.
on me so I’m going
to pig-out on some
steak by myself.
Have you seen [recent

film]? I was supposed
to go watch it with a
friend but they bailed
on me. I’m wondering
if it’s worth going
there alone, but I
don’t want to endure
a bad film AND feel
like a sad lonely loser
throughout.

You can also incorporate some of elements of the Highlight Reel here if you
want to get some more milage out of those texts:
Do you remember that What was the name

restaurant we went of that great hotel
to on our second we stayed at for your
anniversary? A friend 25th birthday? I need
of mine is looking for a good place to get
a place to take his away this weekend
new girlfriend. and I loved the time
we spent there.
Do you remember
that hilarious tour
guide who helped
us in Spain and then
got drunk with us?
What was his name?
A friend of mine is
thinking of traveling
there alone and
wants someone to
show him around.

Favor 2: The Support Text
If the Recommendation Text worked well for you, then it’s time to move onto
the next step, which requires you to ask for their support emotionally or
psychologically.
Not only are you using the affinity that you have with your ex currently, but
you’re also using the loved that they have for you, regardless of whether that
love is on the surface waiting to explode out, or it’s buried deep beneath
bitterness and bad memories.
The simple fact is that they wouldn’t have gotten with you in the first place
if they didn’t care for you, and they certainly wouldn’t be entertaining your
text messages and you continued pursuit of them if they still didn’t harbor
some of those feelings.

So, let’s use them to your advantage. People become much closer when
they share difficult times, difficult secrets and difficult emotions, so if
you contact them to confide in them about a tough time that you’re going
through, you’ll tick all these boxes and bring them closer to you as a result.
There are a few ways that you can do this and it will depend on your current
relationship, your past relationship and how well they know you. Take the
following as an example:
Support Text Example 1 I’ve been thinking a

lot about my mother
recently. She would
have been 50 this
year. I’m so glad you
got to meet her, she
loved you.
This works well because it recalls a person that they knew and that you
loved. They would have to be cold and inhuman to ignore a text like that,
and because she’s your mother and they met her, they’re also less likely to
see that message as a lie or as you trying to get their pity.

If you start lying by introducing people they never met and then killing
them off, it’s a different story, especially if you word it in a way that sounds
like you’re begging for pity, such as
My grandmother just died recently. I could really use someone to talk to.
Are you around?
or
My uncle just died. I loved him and I’m depressed.

I’d feel much better if I could talk to you about it though.
If you had a family member, friend or pet that died when you and your
partner were together, it can serve as a great way to bring you back together
for a touching conversation:
Support Text Example 2 Support Text Example 3
I have been thinking I was thinking about

about Rex a lot Max lately. It’s the
recently. I loved anniversary of his
that dog so much. death this week. He
I dream about him was such an amazing
all the time and the guy, I still can’t
last time I woke up believe he’s gone.
in tears. Does that
happen to you?

Don’t make things up, don’t use the death of your friends as a cheap trick to
lure your ex back—you’re just recalling a real event that actually makes you
sad and you’re discussing this event with your ex.
If you don’t have anything along those lines to bring up, or you would rather
take a different approach, don’t worry, as there are other options. You can
use stress, work, school—anything. Take a look at the below examples to get
an idea how to use the Support Text.
In these cases, however, you want to avoided the dreaded, “I feel for you”
reply, as that’ll kill the conversation and leave you hopelessly reaching. You
have to remember that this is all about you and they don’t have a horse in
the race so to speak, so make it clear what you need, give them a reason to
reply and a question to reply to, and that should start the pity party you’re
looking for:
Support Text Example 4

I’ve really been
struggling at work lately.
You wouldn’t believe
how crazy it has gotten.
I feel like I’m banging
my head against a brick
wall—no one listens, no
one does anything, and
it’s going nowhere. To
make matters worse,
everyone I know is
basically a work friend
stuck in the same cycle!
You ever encountered
anything like this?

Support Text Example 5
Have you ever been
so stressed that
you can’t sleep, yet
somehow so tired that
you can’t think? I feel
like a Sim that some
crazed gamer has just
placed in a bricked-up
room—I don’t know
what I want but I’m
pretty sure that if I
don’t get it I’m going
to cry, pee myself and
pass out at the same
time! Does everyone
feel like this at some
point or is it just me?

They may ask you if you want to meet-up and talk face-to-face, in which
case you should definitely agree. They will likely choose an intimate setting
because they know that they’re going to be talking about emotional subjects
(that’s the beauty of the Support Text) and that will give you the chance
that you’ve been looking for.
If they provide their support through text and don’t ask to meet-up, then
move onto the Obligation Text below.
Favor 3: The Obligation Text
The final Favor Text is a cheeky one we like to call the Obligation Text.
There are a few ways to use this, but it plays on the principle we discussed
already, asking them to do you a big favor and help you in a bigger way.

This text should be the final one that you send before seeing your ex again
and getting back together with them, so use it wisely.
There are a few ways that you can use it. The easiest way is to thank them
for the support they have provided, mention that it has been great speaking
to them and then ask if they will meet up with you to discuss some more.
Be careful how you word this as you don’t want them to think that you’ve
orchestrated the whole thing just to see them.
So, send something like this:
Obligation Text Example 1 Thanks for your help,

you’re so easy to talk
too and I really feel so
much better now. It
would be great if we
could do this face-
to-face sometime.
It’s been ages since
I’ve actually had an
open and honest
conversation with
anyone and you’re
probably the only
person I’d be happy
talking to in that way!
And not something like this:
This would work better face-to-face,

will you meet up with me at my house tonight for a drink?

In the first instance, you’re expressing how happy you are with the help they
have provided and how beneficial it has been, and you’re not openly asking
them to meet-up.
Chances are they will see your text as a throwaway invite, the sort of invites
we send to friends we haven’t for 10 years when we meet them on the street
(“oh yeah, we definitely have to meet up for a drink sometime”).
They will either reply along the same lines, “Yeah we should definite meet
up”, in which case you can name a time and a place to make them commit,
or they will do the honor of suggesting an actual meeting themselves.
Either way, you get to see them again.

You can also be more upfront about it, but this will only work if you’ve been
getting on really well and think they are ready to take you back, or at least
be really good friends.
Obligation Text Example 2 Obligation Text Example 3
You’ve helped me Thanks for all your

out a lot, I really help. I owe you.
appreciate it. I have Maybe I can pay you
to pay you back back by taking you
sometime, maybe out for a meal? It’s the
we can go for a drink least I can do.
this weekend?

Finally, if your initial Support Text hinted at a tragic event that affected both
of you, and what followed was a heartfelt conversation, then you can use that
event to meet up. For instance:
Obligation Text Example 4: Obligation Text Example 5:

Death of a Pet Death of a Family Member
I was actually thinking I am going to visit

of going to a shelter their grave this
this weekend to weekend, lay some
donate some food, flowers, maybe go
maybe see if they to a few of the old
needed any help. I haunts and drink in
know it’s not going to their name. Would
bring them back, but you mind tagging
it’ll make me feel better along? I’m not sure I
and could help some can manage it all on
of our furry friends on my own.
the way. Do you mind
helping me out?
I was going to have

a big blow out this
weekend in their
name. Their favorite
drinks, chips, films—
the works. I know it
sounds stupid, but
I’m sure they’d love
it. I was going to do
Obligation Text Example 6: it on my own, but I
Death of a Friend think that if they are
looking down on us
they’d like it even
more if you were
there. You want to
join me?

Obligation Text Example 7: Obligation Text Example 8:
Difficulty at Work Stressed
I feel like I need to I really need a good

get away from work friend right now and
and all the chaos I feel like you know
that goes along me best of all. Will
with it. Do you mind you join me for a few
joining me for a few drinks and maybe a
drinks after work this film this weekend?
week, maybe on the I feel like if I don’t
weekend? It would be de-stress I’m going to
great to have a non- blow!
work friend to talk to
so I can let loose a
little.
Again, you’re only asking them for a favor, but they will feel obliged to agree.

Using Texts To Get Your Ex Back

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Using Texts To Get Your Ex Back

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to get your ex back

Why Did They Leave You?

The Peace Treaty

The Highlight Reel

The Favor Texts

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 2

Ask your parents, grandparents or friends—anyone who has been in a

Break-ups are commonplace in every long-term relationship, which proves

2. A break-up doesn’t have to be the end.

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 3

So what makes them so effective?

There’s no body language, so there’s no awkwardness; there’s no time

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 4

These methods have been used thousands of times on thousands of

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 5

The real issue tends to be a little more complicated.

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 7

Jealously is a vicious beast, a green-eyed monster that can ravage any

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 8

And so they should—no one deserves to go through that insane level of

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 9

As bad as a controlling nature is, being submissive is just as detrimental.

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 10

Early on, relationships are exciting—filled with fun, adventure and

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 11

Wait for the dust to settle.

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 13

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 14

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 16

Peace Treaty 1: The First Contact Text

The First Contact message can follow this format:

Hey! I just came across [this thing] that reminds me of

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 17

OR I just heard that the

I just heard that Iron

It can be a link to a news story, it can be an upcoming event. It just has to

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 18

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 19

Instead of unleashing all that bitterness, you want to take a neutral

Apathy Text Example 1

I know I wasn’t the

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 20

I hope you’re doing

Apathy Text Example 3

If you ever need

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 21

Peace Treaty 3: The “Signing the Treaty” Text

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 22

1. You Get an Uninspired Response

I’m okay. Thanks for

Glad to hear it. I’m just

If they don’t even give you

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 23

We all make mistakes, and when we do we rarely want to admit to them.

It’s great to hear from

I’m doing great,

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 24

I’m great, thanks.

I’m great, it’s good to

Then you should refer to number 1. Believe it or not, as positive as it sounds,

3. You Get a Negative Response

USING TEXTS TO GET YOUR EX BACK BY BRAD BROWNING 25

What is wrong with