“Much that is good and all that is evil has

gathered itself up into the Western Gull,” wrote

ornithologist W. L. Dawson in his 1923 classic Birds
of California. He praised the bird’s handsome
plumage, but warned that it belied “the black
heart within”–“Cruel of beak and bottomless of
maw . . . this gull asks only two questions of any
other living thing: First, ‘Am I hungry?’ (Ans., ‘Yes.’)
Second, ‘Can I get away with it?’ (Ans., ‘I’ll try.’)”

— from "A Squabble of Gulls", by Joe Eaton, for

Bay Nature Magazine's Oct-Nov 2010 issue.
 Jeeyon Shim Games
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER
MUCH THAT IS
GOOD AND ALL
THAT IS EVIL
SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, AND YOU ARE A

HORRIBLE GULL.
Q: Is there such a species as a “seagull”?
If you answered YES, you are playing a gull in any major urban
center from Los Angeles to Seattle. Pick a city.

If you answered NO, you are playing a gull in the Farallon Islands.
This may seem a more rarified option but it just means you eat fewer
McDonalds wrappers than your urban cousins.

STATS FOR URBAN AND FARALLON GULLS:

Hungry: the answer is always yes. No need to track
points, because your hunger knows no satiation.

Audacity: how likely you are to try it. Roll your die. If you
get higher than 4, roll again. If you get a 1, roll again.

Once you roll a 4, 3, or a 2, write it down as the number

of points you start with. For a 4, leave the boxes as is.
For a 3 cross out one box with a clear X, and for a 2 do
the same, but cross out two boxes instead of one.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

Choose one of the following as your third stat. They all

start with 3 points.

Grabby: how likely you are to make a grab for it.

Beefy: how likely you are to use your brawn to

solve/cause problems.

Mean: how likely you are to make someone cry.

OPTIONAL: In the space below, draw your gull.

MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

URBAN GULL STORY PATH

Roll your d6 twice to determine setting and scenario.

The PIER (1 or 4): A once-historic pier now crowded with

popular tourist magnets. Bread bowls abound.

A bachelorette party huddles up to take a group selfie under a beautiful, candy-

colored sunset. The bride-to-be is doing her best to “whoooooo!” her way out of
the creeping dread she feels she contemplating her nuptials. They are all
standing right on the edge of the pier.

Aunties fishing off the dock unhurriedly pull up and unhook jack smelt by the
dozens, tossing them unceremoniously into beat-up coolers. Fishing off a public
pier does not require a license, and from sun up to sun down the aunties take
daily advantage of it.

A herd of office executives pulls chairs up to an expensive gastropub whose

developer ousted a small children’s museum because the property boasts the
best view in the bay. Everyone at the table works in C-suite. They all wear thin
puffy vests and bland jeans to, as they say, blend in with the hoi polloi.

A family of French tourists argues in French amongst themselves about whether

to call the waiter at their dockside restaurant back to their table. They are deeply
offended by the quality of the bread bowls full of thick, chunky chowder they
ordered.

A young woman in a stained barista’s apron sits down on a public bench to take
her lunch break. She closes her eyes languidly in the midday sunshine. Her hard-
won sandwich lies unguarded beside her.

A kindergartener pulls on his mother’s pant leg to point at a pod of beautifully

plump harbor seals slumbering on the dock. He has a lax grip on a dripping ice
cream cone in his other hand.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

URBAN GULL STORY PATH

SETTING AND SCENARIO, CONTINUED

The PARK (2 or 5): A beautiful public land in the midst of

the city that park rangers try valiantly to steward but,
nonetheless, gets routinely trashed by visitors.

The party guests release a flock of mylar balloons into the air. Children and
adults alike squeal with delight. They are all standing next to a large “DO NOT
LITTER” sign with an accompanying plaque explaining how many wild animals
die due to choking on or getting entangled in balloon remnants.

The mountain bikers take their lunch break on the boundary between the
redwoods and the shore. They have run over and killed several duff-dwelling
salamanders since they arrived this morning.

The hikers crest the sunny hills, chatting blithely with each other about the
beauty of the landscape and how happy they are to be out in nature. They leave
a trail of shining scraps of trail bar wrappers and orange peels in their wake.

A solitary visitor stacks rocks in the middle of a wide, tranquil creek. Her work
has displaced two families of newts and scattered a clutch of endangered fish
eggs. When the cairn collapses, it will kill several other aquatic denizens. The
visitor smiles as she successfully balances a large rock on a small rock.*

Picnickers toss scraps of baguette to the ducks that gather around them. Eating
bread causes ducks to develop “angel wing,” an affliction caused by mold and
nutritional deficiencies. The picnickers coo and try to coax the ducks closer, to
eat out of their hands.

The golfers tee up and laugh at each other’s affable, offensive jokes they delight
in sharing out of earshot of their wives. (Many of the jokes are at the expense of
their wives.) They leave several golf balls in the brush, which will deteriorate into
the land as toxic plastics.

*Fun fact: Did you know that it’s now illegal to stack rocks in most American parks, and doing so will incur the same ticket as littering
or (depending on the ecosystem) endangerment of wildlife?
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

URBAN GULL STORY PATH

SETTING AND SCENARIO, CONTINUED

THE PLAYGROUND (3 or 6): A large playground with

climbing structures, swings, and other delights for
young children and their caretakers.
The first-time-moms group compares the snacks they brought with them for
the afternoon while their toddlers chatter happily and play in the sandbox.

A half dozen preschoolers shriek with glee as their overworked teachers give in
and let them play on the climbing structures (technically an insurance violation).
Their backpacks lie half-opened and abandoned in a heap behind them,
revealing uneaten sandwiches from lunch time. (Should’ve made a gear line,
kids.)

Three teenagers take turns pushing each other on the swings. Teenager A likes
Teenager B who likes Teenager C who has made out with both Teenager A and
Teenager B and is debating whether to ask both of them to make out with them
at the same time. All three of them bought candy from the drugstore on their
way to the park, and it is sitting out in plain view on the picnic table.

A father bounces his large infant in a sling-style carrier. The baby’s face, clothes,
and the father’s beard are all spackled with applesauce.

The small-time weed dealer hunkers down on a seesaw and waits for her buyer,
under the light of a full moon.* A foil-wrapped nubbin of the super burrito she
ate for dinner sticks partially out of her coat pocket.

The jogger stretches his quads by propping himself against a brightly painted
bouncy horse. He holds an unopened pack of sugary gel labeled BODY/FUEL in
expensive graphic design.

*Fun fact: While gulls generally sleep at night, they do not have set sleeping schedules like some other avian species! That means that
nocturnal activity will not save you. They could find you at any time.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

FARALLON ISLAND STORY PATH

Roll your d6 twice to determine setting and scenario.

THE ROOKERY (even numbers): A rocky nesting habitat

where the colony gathers each breeding season. This is
where you raise your young. Your colony is indifferent
to the presence of people three seasons out of the year.
Come spring, all bets are off.

A small nature documentary crew makes their way gingerly between nests to
set up for the week. They time their annual production schedule to line up with
the sliver between your colony’s nesting and laying season when you are all
relatively docile. But, every year the weather shifts ever-warmer and it grows
harder to calculate when that opening will be. This year, the crew miscalculated.

A lanky man with rubbery, bright orange skin and sea lettuce-green hair started
poking around the colony a few days ago. He seems to have replaced the other
lanky man who your parents warned you about, the one who occasionally
catches your kin in a net to attach a small metal band around their ankles. Your
parents and all the other gulls in their generation taught their children to hate
the Net Man. If he ever returns, you know what to do.

NOTE: For this scenario, roll once more. If you get an even number,
continue. If you get an odd number, the orange-and-green man
stumbles on a rock. His hair and face slip off and fall to the ground. It
was a costume the whole time. The Net Man stands before you. This
is now the scenario you will act on.

A pair of research assistants waits on the southeastern shore, a short walk away
from the rookery, to receive the next ferry full of visitors. They serve both as
guides to the flora and fauna of the island, explaining the ecosystem’s history
and delicate balance, as well as chaperones to keep an eye on the visitors
themselves.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

FARALLON GULL STORY PATH

SETTING AND SCENARIO, CONTINUED

THE ROOKERY

The birdwatchers double check to make sure they brought everything with
them from the ferry before they disembark. They’re here to observe the murres,
descendants of the few survivors who escaped previous market-driven
slaughters, before the islands became protected land. They have to pass the
rookery to reach the murre colony.

Three wildlife rehabilitation techs take a walk together during a coffee break.
They good-naturedly share horror stories about past assignments and veterinary
school. In their enjoyment of each other’s company, none of them have noticed
how close to the rookery they are wandering.

The year is 1863. Poachers set up a rough campsite within your line of sight.
There is a small fortune waiting back in San Francisco for every egg they
smuggle back with them. They think it will be easy money. Noe of them have
ever done this before.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

FARALLON ISLAND STORY PATH

THE RESEARCH CENTER (odd numbers): The island’s
research center is a humble, sturdy building meant to
withstand the elements. The field team gathers there to
share field notes and conduct their work, and on
occasion the center hosts documentary makers as a
makeshift production headquarters.

The wildlife rehabilitation treatment center is attached to the research center’s

lab. The lead wildlife veterinarian on the team keeps it sparkling clean, without a
single pipette or towel out of place. Sometimes she leaves a window propped
open with a piece of kindling to get fresh air.

At sunset, the chief scientist likes to perch on a rickety stool on the small stone
porch someone added to the house a century ago. She sips milky, sugary black
tea from a chipped enamel mug and watches the birds swinging in the wind
currents, back and forth like a metronome needle. Her inner peace lulls her into
a false sense of security.

The postdoctoral researcher takes their laptop outside to force a disconnection

from the wifi, their latest effort to avoid distractions as they outline their article.
They are completely absorbed in their work. They do not look up to see what
might be flying above them.

The volunteer field assistant collects his last seaweed sample and finally stands
up straight, stretching his arms high above his head. It feels good to finally
unfold from the hunched posture he worked in all day as he scuttled from tide
pool to tide pool. The call of gulls blends in with other sounds of the island, and
he does not notice that it is drawing closer and closer.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

FARALLON GULL STORY PATH

SETTING AND SCENARIO, CONTINUED

THE RESEARCH CENTER

The California Fish and Wildlife representative scales a large boulder the size of
a small boulder to get a panoramic view of the island. She’s on her way to chat
with the research team and see if they need anything from the mainland, but
she’s taking her time to enjoy her solitude. From where she stands, she sees
gulls sprinkled across the surface of the Pacific like salt. It gives her the false
impression that most of them are far away.

The public radio podcast host stands on the shore with his recording
equipment, capturing various sounds to use in his miniseries about the islands.
This is the most in-depth, physically demanding, backcountry assignment he’s
ever had, and he’s loving every minute of it. As he ruminates happily on his stay
up to now and plays back his recordings, the gulls gathering in increasing
numbers on the periphery of his field of vision escape his scrutiny.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

ACTION TURNS
Now that you have your setting and scenario, roll to see
which action you take first, and against whom.

If you land on a number matched with a stat you didn’t

take, it’s a miss without the point expenditure:

MEAN. Go for their Achilles tendon. Roll again.

If you score higher than 3, you miss the tendon but get them in the back of their
calf, nice.

If you roll a 3 or lower, you clamp the point of your immensely sharp beak right
into the little hollow where that vulnerable anatomical rubber band is stretched.
Your victim howls in pain. Triumph!

Spend 1 Mean point by blacking out one of its stat boxes.

GRABBY. Wait until they’re eating something and

snatch it from their hands. Roll again.
If you score higher than 3, your beak clacks down on empty air. You missed it. As
you wheel around to gauge whether it’s worth making a second pass, you see
that they dropped their precious food in alarm and now sadly, pathetically, are
trying to salvage what they can. A single tear rolls down their cheek and catches
the light like a prism. You feel good about yourself.

If you score a 3 or lower, you clutch the spoils of battle in your beak and soar in a
perfect circle above them as they stand beneath you, mouth agape. You briefly
consider taking a shit right into it but decide against it, not out of compassion,
mercy, or even pity, but because you want to eat their food as soon as you can.
As you leave, you can hear them start to cry. Victory!

Spend 1 Grabby point by blacking out one of its stat boxes.

MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

BEEFY. Charge at them to wham your whole

surprisingly gigantic body right into the side of their
head like a wrecking ball. Roll again.
If you score higher than 3, you miss and there’s no impact, but you have the
satisfaction of hearing them shriek in terror. It is a pitch perfect match for the
high note at the peak of the Queen of the Night aria in Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

If you score a 3 or lower, your heavy feathered body bowls them over like they
were the last pin standing in a perfect strike. They will have stress dreams about
you until they die. Success!

Spend 1 Beefy point by blacking out one of its stat boxes.

AUDACITY. You approach from behind, on the left.

Inhale deeply to shriek directly into their ear from mere
inches away. Roll again.
If you score higher than 3, they turn unexpectedly and see you
hovering right next to them. While you lose the opportunity to blast
your glorious voice directly into their ear canal like an air horn, you do
enjoy the gratification of watching them fall over in alarm.

If you score 3 or lower, your voice pierces the air and their eardrum.
They will have chronic tinnitus in that ear until their dying day. Late at
night, when they’re alone, they swear the ringing in that ear sounds
like you are screaming at them all over again. Vanquished!

Spend 1 Audacity point by blacking out one of its stat boxes.

MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

HUNGRY. Looking at them, you notice that one of their

garments suspiciously resembles your favorite food.
What is it? Write it on the line below, then roll again.

______________________________________________.

If you score higher than 3, as you approach you catch a whiff of them right
before you strike. Their scent does not appeal. Settle for flapping your huge,
weirdly sharp wings directly in their face as a consolation prize.

If you score a 3 or lower, your beak closes around its target. Even though it
doesn’t taste exactly like the gourmet morsel it resembles, you tear off a sizable
chunk and eat it anyway. Delectable!

IF YOU ROLL A 6, which has no accompanying stat:

choose any one of the win conditions from any of the actions above and take it.
Spend 2 points in its respective stat by blacking out two of its stat boxes.

STAT DEPLETION:
If you deplete one of your stats completely, cross that
stat out completely and re-roll if you get its number.

Repeat the action turn directions five more times, for a

total of six turns.
MUCH THAT IS GOOD Jeeyon Shim Games
AND ALL THAT IS EVIL
DIRTGOBLIN COMMUNITY CENTER

SOLO PLAYER ONE SIX-SIDED DIE PENCIL AND ERASER 1 HOUR

OPTIONAL: A COMMUNITY IS ONLY AS STRONG

AS ITS GENERATIONAL KNOWLEDGE.
Choose one of the NPCs from any of the scenarios you
played. You will tell your children, and their children,
and their children’s children about this motherfucker.
They will know that person's face as well as their own.
Your grudge will live on in your bloodline until the last
gull ceases flight.

To pass your grudge on to your descendants, ask a friend in to play this game in
tandem with you! You will both simultaneously play the game as solo players.

Once you’ve both made new gulls, play through the game starting with the
same chosen setting, scenario, and the unfortunate NPC who incurred your
fickle wrath.

Upon completion, compare your experiences with those of your descendant’s

(your friend’s character).

If you want to keep the legacy of your grudge going, tap in a third friend and
repeat the directions above, a fourth friend for another generation, and so on.
I hope you enjoyed the playtest edition of
Much That Is Good and All That Is Evil! If you’re
curious about what inspired this game, check out
the article “A Squabble of Gulls,” which is available
online in its entirety.

My thanks to:
For more from Jeeyon Shim
My Patreon members, the
Games and the Dirtgoblin
Dirtgoblin Community Center
Community Center, sign up
W.L. Dawson for the newsletter!

Bay Nature Magazine www.tinyurl.com/jsgnews

The Farallon Institute

The Greater Farallones National For The Snow Queen or

Marine Sanctuary
The Longest Rest pre-
And, of course, the ignoble, orders, visit the website at
avaricious, horrible, resilient, and
admirably adaptable Western www.jeeyonshim.games
gull: a perfect creature.