"He's the naughtiest boy in Singapore," says a laughing Fely.

"You have to do Psychotherapist Nalla Tan, a stress counsellor at the National University of
what he likes." The Filipino maid's ward is five. She sometimes has to play a Singapore, is not sure. "You can't be a weekend parent," she says. "You're a
surrogate mother. "Once in a while both the parents will go out of town on parent, full stop." Both the father and mother must decide "how much to give
business trips and they'll leave the boy with me," says the 36-year-old nanny. to their employers and how much they want to give to their children". She
She sees the child off to kindergarten, reads him books and allows him to would like to see one parent stay in the house. "Why can't one or the other
watch cartoons on TV. They go on outings to the Botanic Gardens. Fely has share the chores and do their work at home? You can do it with modern
worked for the Dutch Chinese family for the past two years. technology."

In Hong Kong, a Filipino nanny also takes care of Theresa Chen's
three-year-old son. "There's no such thing as bonding with the family when
you're working for an advertising agency," the 35-year-old executive says
wryly. "Your work is your bond. Your client is your bond." She and her
stockbroker husband, 37, count themselves lucky. Their maid, who is 46, has
a master's degree in education and had been a teacher back home. In
addition to taking care of the toddler, she also keeps the flat spotless.
Tan's main concern is what she sees as the absence of parental love in some
working-couple households. "The maid as a surrogate mother is never able to
give what a real mother - or father - can give," she insists. "How can a maid
who is working for a salary give this? Can she give the same kind of
affection?" It's especially hard on younger kids. "Whether it's day-care or
maids, someone impersonal is feeding the child. How many times in a day
would they pick up the child and cuddle him?"

Will the real mommy please stand up? In Singapore, Hong Kong, Malaysia Answer the following questions in complete sentences.
and other affluent parts of Asia, many mothers are increasingly willing to leave
their children in the care of helpers. The domestics - from the Philippines, 1. How does a maid become a surrogate mother?
Indonesia, Thailand, and Sri Lanka are often well-educated and hard-working.
But when the primary caregiver, becomes a substitute parent, experts worry.

"If there is a normal parent-child relationship, the more people that come in
contact with the child - the maid, grandparents, relatives - the more enriching
the experience," says Wong Chung Kwong, a child psychiatrist at the Hong 2. Why are there many parents in Asia who are willing to leave their children
Kong Chinese University. The problem comes when parents fail to establish a in the care of their helpers?
caring relationship in the child's early years. "The cardinal sin for parents is to
let others take their place," says Wong. If the maid becomes a substitute
parent and then leaves, the child mourns the loss and may have trouble
rebonding with the parents.

It's difficult, however, to see how else a working mother can cope. A second
income is now often a vital part of the family budget. Even when it's not, many 3. Why does child psychiatrist C.K. Wong says, "The cardinal sin for parents
of today's women are no longer content to stay at home. They want to grow is to let others take their place"?
professionally as lawyers, doctors, bankers, and businesswomen. The
challenge is to strike a balance between the demands of career and family. In
the past, a local amah could help out. But especially in labour-short Singapore
and Hong Kong, a foreign maid is often the best option for those who can
afford it.
4. Why do many mothers go out to work nowadays? 10. His parents gave him the __________ to study overseas if he failed to get
a place in a local university.

5. Why does psychotherapist Nalla Tan think that nannies can never take
over the role of parents? Quote a statement from the passage to support
your answer.

6. What is Nalla Tan's proposal for working parents with children?

7. According to the passage, what are some of the things a child is deprived
of when a nanny plays surrogate mother?

Fill in the blanks with one correct word from the passage.

8. Many children of ___________ homes are given a lot of pocket money to

spend.

9. Jariah still __________ deeply for her parents who died in a car accident
six years ago.