Topic: The bar chart shows the percentage of the total world
population in 4 countries in 1950 and 2002, and projections for
2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting
the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Overall Band Score:
9
Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.
Grammar Mistakes:
0
Vocabulary Repetition:
population: 7
india: 4
china: 3
projections: 3
percentage: 3
growth: 3
----Corrected Writing----
Original Corrected
The bar chart delineates the proportions The bar chart delineates the proportions
of the global population attributed to of the global population attributed to
India, China, the USA, and Japan during India, China, the USA, and Japan during
the years 1950 and 2002, alongside the years 1950 and 2002, alongside
projections for 2050. projections for 2050.
Overall, China dominated global Overall, China dominated global
population statistics historically; population statistics historically;
however, projections indicate that India however, projections indicate that India
is poised to assume this position by is poised to assume this position by
2050, while Japan persistently retains 2050, while Japan persistently retains
the lowest population percentage across the lowest population percentage across
all designated years. all designated years.
In terms of growth, India is projected to In terms of growth, India is projected to
witness the most significant increase, witness the most significant increase,
commencing at approximately 15% in commencing at approximately 15% in
1950 and exhibiting a steady growth 1950 and exhibiting a steady growth
trajectory of around 1% to 2% annually, trajectory of around 1% to 2% annually,
ultimately surging to over 20% by 2050. ultimately surging to over 20% by 2050.
Conversely, China, which once boasted Conversely, China, which once boasted
a substantial population share of about a substantial population share of about
23% in 1950, is anticipated to 23% in 1950, is anticipated to
experience a considerable decline, experience a considerable decline,
resulting in its population percentage resulting in its population percentage
decreasing to approximately 15% by decreasing to approximately 15% by
2050. The USA has shown minor 2050. The USA has shown minor
fluctuations, starting at nearly 8% in fluctuations, starting at nearly 8% in
1950 and diminishing slightly by about 1950 and diminishing slightly by about
2% to 3% by 2002, with projections 2% to 3% by 2002, with projections
indicating stabilization thereafter. indicating stabilization thereafter.
Japan's demographic trends reveal a Japan's demographic trends reveal a
consistent decline, marking it as the consistent decline, marking it as the
country with the lowest population country with the lowest population
percentage throughout the observed percentage throughout the observed
years. Initially under 5% in 1950, years. Initially under 5% in 1950,
Japan's proportion is forecasted to Japan's proportion is forecasted to
decrease further to an estimated 1% or decrease further to an estimated 1% or
2% by 2050. This trajectory contrasts 2% by 2050. This trajectory contrasts
sharply with the growth patterns sharply with the growth patterns
observed in India and the notable observed in India and the notable
decrease in China's share, thereby decrease in China's share, thereby
highlighting the disparities in population highlighting the disparities in population
dynamics among these four nations. dynamics among these four nations.
Word Count: 227 Word Count: 227
----Feedback----
Task Response Coherence & Lexical Resource Grammatical
Cohesion Range &
Accuracy
8 9 9 9
The report The report is The report The report
effectively exceptionally demonstrates full showcases a wide
summarizes the coherent and well- flexibility and range of
information organized. The correct use of a grammatical
presented in the information flows wide range of structures with full
bar chart, logically, and the vocabulary. The flexibility and
highlighting key paragraphing is language is control. Grammar
trends and making skillfully managed, accurate, and punctuation
relevant making the appropriate, and are used correctly
comparisons. The message effortless exhibits a natural and appropriately
overall structure is to follow. Cohesion and sophisticated throughout the
clear, with an is used effectively control of lexical report, contributing
introduction, to connect ideas features. to its overall clarity
overview, and without being and precision.
detailed obtrusive.
paragraphs. The
language used is
sophisticated and
precise. To further
enhance the
response, ensure
that all significant
data points are
accurately
represented and
that no minor
details are
overlooked. Also,
consider double-
checking the
accuracy of the
figures cited to
align perfectly with
the visual data.
