ISLAM AND SEX

MOVE OVER KAMA SUTRA

WARNING AND DISCLAIMER
 Please avoid the work of "Islamic Kama Sutra" by Amar Khan (when you
Google subject his site comes up first). Why avoid because they are self
declared Muslim Apsotates and what they say is utter garbage.
 If you are intrigued by Amar Khan’s claims, there is a good Muslim response at
 http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=79594037526&topic=8212
 This work “Islam and Sex, move over Kama Sutra” is a compilation from other
referenced sources. The clear guidelines are from Islamic sources. Other details
which do not contradict Islam eg types of kissing are from general sources
 It is compiled by a practicing Muslim but not a Scholar
 Always trust your fitrah and intuition, if something doesn’t sound or feel right,
it probably isn’t
 If in doubt leave or check with a local scholar
 This is just a resource. We live in a world that is media and sex saturated. Eg
100 best ways to have sex, Perfect sex, Great Sex,….
 Think about it in times gone by, people lived satisfactory lives with out all this
junk, pornography etc. There are just a few guidelines Islamically about what
is prohibited and guidelines for what to do.
 The rest is a creative endeavor between husband and wife. As long as it doesn’t
go outside the bounds and you are both comfortable with it and enjoy it, go
with it.
INTRODUCTION
 Islam is a complete code of life.
 It includes how to deal with the most intimate of
relations between husband and wife
 One of the key Islamic texts on the subject of is The
Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight by Muhammad
ibn Muhammad al-Nafzawi (15th century). It’s an OK
book, with some strange content and a few gems
 One of the best books on the subject is by Dr. Ahmed
Sakhr…..
 Plus many authentic Hadith
 Anything that is not forbidden is allowed. Many of the
resources referenced are not Islamic, but as these
specific references do not contradict Islamic principles
they are included.
SEXUAL ETHICS
 Sex is the ultimate expression of love and is a
total physical and emotional encounter. In a brief
but beautiful expression the Quran refers, to this
relation between husbands and wives saying:
 "They are your garments and you are their
garments." (2:187)
SEX AS SADAQA
 The sexual unison between husband and wife is
more than seeking a relief from the urge of
desire. Indeed the prophet taught that it is one of
the charities in Islam. He said to his companions,
enumerating examples of charitable deeds :
 "And when the one of you makes love (has lawful
sex, ie with spouse) it is a rewardable charity. “
BEST TIME FOR SEX
 Nice when it is not too hot or cold
 One is not hungry or with full stomach
 Both partners have sexual urge or desire or can
accommodate each others wants or needs
 Both partners have energy and are not exhausted
with days work
 Good if both have had shower and are fresh (or if not
make wudu)
 Have cleaned their arm pits and genitals from pubic
hair
 Brush teeth, floss, use mouthwash
 Have full privacy and not afraid that they will be
disturbed
CREATING THE MOOD FOR SEX
 This can be through flirtation with your spouse
 Complimenting them

 Lighting candles or incense in bedroom, shower

 Soothing music

 Each partner should dress in a way that pleases

the other. Women can use lingerie, men eg sexy
boxer shorts,… again whatever is creative and
comfortable
 Both can use perfume or colognes to build up the
sexual tension and attraction
BEST PLACE FOR SEX
 Although hotels and businesses sell romance, the
most romantic place for couples is the privacy
and intimacy of their own bedrooms
 Depending on the living situation, if there aren’t
other family members etc., it doesn’t always have
to be in the same place, same time. Variety is the
spice of life
 Any place you both fantasize about (but can still
have your privacy and intimacy)
BEFORE SEX:
 In order to maintain the bliss and pleasantness of the
relation, both husband and wife should acquire the
hygienic and esthetic habits that keep them attractive
to one another.
 It does not behove the woman only to beautify herself
for her husband, but this is a reciprocal right. The
prophet is reported to have rebuked a man who
looked shabby and neglected to tidy his hair and
clothing, stating that it was his wife's right that he
looks at his best to her, as she to him.
 Ibn Abbas, a notable scholar of the first Islamic
century, stated: Most certainly I am keen on making
myself handsome to my wife, just as I like her to
beautify herself for me in keeping with God's saying
in the Quran that: "Women have rights even as they
have obligations in an equitable way." (2:228)
SEX TECHNIQUE
 Any maneuver or position that adds to the
pleasure of the sexual encounter between
husband and wife is permissible and
commendable.
 "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach
your tilth when and how you will" (2:223)
FOREPLAY
FOREPLAY
 There are many ways and methods that can be
exercised during foreplay
 It is best that we leave this to the mutual
understanding of the spouses
 Each individual differs from another in exactly
what arouses and stimulates him/her, although
the prohibited acts must be avoided.
FOREPLAY
 In human sexual behavior, foreplay is a set of
intimate psychological and physical acts between
two or more people meant to create desire for
sexual activity and sexual arousal.
 Either or any of the sexual partners may initiate
the foreplay, and they may not be the active
partner during the sexual activity. (source Wiki)
FOREPLAY
 Any act that creates and enhances sexual desire
in a sexual partner may constitute foreplay,
including:
 Kissing

 Touching

 Embracing

 Talking

 Teasing (teasing, in this case, may include

methods of satisfaction, such as erotic sexual
denial)
 Undressing each other
 (source Wiki)
THE BATHING OF HUSBAND AND WIFE
TOGETHER

 Prophetic Hadiths:
 On the authority of 'Aisha (may Allah be pleased
with her) who said: “I used to bathe with the
Prophet from a single container of water which
was placed between us such that our hands
collided inside it. He used to race me such that I.
would say: "Leave some for me, leave some for
me!' 1 She added: "We were in a state of major
ritual impurity (i.e. the state of having slept
together’”[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
KISSING
 “A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are
better than one”! Now, who wouldn’t agree with
me on this statement? A gentle kiss from your
spouse can lift your spirits and make you feel
wonderfully happy even when you are depressed.
 A relationship is all about trying out new things
to keep away boredom and monotony from
setting in. a fun way to do that is by trying out
different types of kisses.
 It can take your relationship to a whole new level
and both will be glad that you tried it, since it
will bond you all the more closer.
KISSING
 Other areas for kissing
may include the
partner's:

 Ears  Breasts
 Cheek
 Stomach
 Neck
 Back
 Eyelids
 Inner thighs.
 Shoulders
 Whatever turns you
both on,…
KISSING
 Kissing during foreplay may be on the mouth or
encompass other areas of the body. Deep kissing,
also, involves the physical contact of tongues and
can also imply the tongue entering another
person's mouth.
KISSING
 Foreplay is very important before sex and in
Islam is encouraged.
 In the Reference section there are 26 different
kinds of kisses that are explained. Again there is
no limit to creativity as long as it doesn’t venture
into the forbidden.
KISSING
 Angel Kiss
A very sweet and comforting kiss, the angel kiss is
one in which you lightly kiss your partner right on
the eye lids or just next to the eyes.

 Cheek Kiss
This is the most preferred kind of kiss for a first time.
It gives the friendly signal of “I really like you” to the
other partner. Place your hands on your partner’s
shoulder, lean forward and plant a soft kiss on the
cheek.
KISSING

 Butterfly Kiss
A very cute gesture, you don’t
really kiss in this one. Bring your
faces close to each other and
flutter your eyelids together. Of
course, this ignites pleasure and
you go ahead to have a wonderful
kiss!
KISSING
 Freeze Kiss
This is a fun kiss to experiment with. Take a
small piece of ice and put it in your mouth. Don’t
swallow! Gently hold your partner and kiss softly
on the lips. While kissing, open your mouth and
make your partner open his/her mouth lightly.
Pass the ice with your tongue for an exciting
sensation.
KISSING

 Eskimo Kiss
This is definitely one of the cutest ways to begin
a kiss. Bring your faces together and very lightly
rub your noses together. It is a wonderfully
loving gesture that your partner will adore.
KISSING

 Earlobe Kiss
As the name suggests, you need to kiss and very
gently suck on the earlobe of your partner. Be
careful not to nip or bite since ear lobes are very
soft. Make soft groaning noises but don’t squeal
since you are kissing on the ears!
KISSING
 French Kiss
Also known as the “Soul Kiss”, the French kiss is
a passionate form of kissing. Start with a soft
kiss on the lips and very slowly start exploring
your partner’s mouth with your tongue.
KISSING

 Hand Kiss
This one is ideally done by the dude. Take your
wifes hand in your hand and lightly kiss the top
of her hand. In the days of yore, the man used to
bow or go down on one knee and then perform
this kiss
KISSING

 Hot n Cold Kiss

A very exciting kiss, in this, you need to put a
cold drink in your mouth and tell your partner to
have a warm drink. Have the sensation in your
mouths and kiss passionately. You will be left
with a wonderful sensation after you are done
kissing.
KISSING

 Neck Kiss
This is a very sensual kiss. You need to come up
from behind your partner, embrace gently and
kiss the back of the neck. Slowly proceed to the
side while kissing and withdraw gently.
 KISSING
 Shoulder Kiss
 Known to be a sensual and loving kiss, the
shoulder kiss involves coming from behind your
partner and kissing on top of the shoulder a few
times.

 Sip Kiss
 This is a fun kiss to try with your partner. Take a
sip of your favorite non-alcholic drink and leave a
bit of it on your lips. Now kiss your partner and
create an enjoyable and sensual feeling.
 KISSING
 Tiger Kiss
 Do it like a playful tiger! They sneak upon their
prey and attack without any noise. Sneak up
behind your partner and grab him/her out of the
blue. While he/she still tries to get over the
pleasant shock, start nibbling and lightly kissing
their neck and don’t forget to growl like a cub!
KISSING
 Upside-Down Kiss
Seen Spiderman? He lowers
himself head-first while
dangling from his web and
passionately kisses MJ. Since
you cannot dangle from
anywhere, you kiss your
partner when he/she is lying
down or seated. Come from
behind and have them tilt
their head backwards. Gently
kiss the lower lip and feel
your partner breathing softly
on your neck.
SEX POSITIONS
 The following slides are some of the most
common positions
 The most common is missionary

 But in the end it’s whatever gives satisfaction to

both partners (we don’t advocate any)
 Be creative

 Be respectful

 Enjoy what God has made lawful for you

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/health/sex/better-sex-guide/sex-
positions-that-double-as-exercise/?page=2
SEX POSITIONS

Missionary Woman on top Lotus

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/health/sex/better-sex-guide/sex-
positions-that-double-as-exercise/?page=2
SEX POSITIONS

Standing Scissors Bridge

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/health/sex/better-sex-guide/sex-
positions-that-double-as-exercise/?page=2
SEX POSITIONS

Arch
Lunges

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/health/sex/better-sex-guide/sex-
positions-that-double-as-exercise/?page=2
SEX POSITIONS

The “T-shaped” position.

A sitting sex position. The “spooning” position.

MASSAGE POSITIONS
AFTER INTERCOURSE
 Both should have ghusl
 Or if not make wudu

 And then have full bath or ghusl later

CARESSING ONE’S WIFE EVEN WHILE
MENSTRUATION

 Prophetic Hadiths:
 The Prophet (pbuh) said concerning the woman,
who is in her menstrual period,
 "Do what you want except sexual intercourse.
 [Reported by the five most authentic narrators except
Al-Bukhari]


 When the Prophet (pbuh) wants to do something with

one of his wives during her menstrual period, he
covers her vagina and does what he wants.
 [Reported by Abu Dawud]
PROHIBITED SEX
 During menstruation
 Anal Sex

 While fasting

 There may be others but these are the most

common
 Do not discuss intimate bedroom and sexual
secrets with friends and acquaintances
 "Amongst the lowest grades of people before God on the day of judgement, is the man going to his
wife (and making sex) and she going to him: then either of them divulging their common
secret." (Abu Said)
ROLE PLAYING AND FANTASY
 This is another area which is difficult because it covers a very wide
array of things. There is certainly a difference between fantasizing
you and your spouse are making love on the beach of a deserted
island, and pretending to be having an adulterous affair.

Since God cares about our thoughts, not just our actions, there must
be a line in this that we should not cross, but where is that line? A
safe way to approach this is to say it's wrong to fantasize or act out
anything it would be wrong to actually do. This means you must
always play yourselves, not a real movie star or someone you know. It
also means you must be married in the fantasy.

However, we do not think this means you must limit yourself to
things you might actually be able to do. If you want to pretend it's
several hundred years ago and you are a ship captain and a damsel
saved from pirates, go for it (you got married at the nearest port). Or
maybe you are husband and wife on a spaceship, exploring the
bounds of the universe and the bounds of weightless sex.

http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/sexuality/splay/whatisokay.shtml
AVOIDING PORNOGRAPHY
 Everything a couple includes in their sex life should
build them up, and direct them towards each other.
Sexually explicit material can easily cause unrealistic
or impossible expectations, cause doubt about how we
look, or make us feel inadequate. Obviously these
things are destructive, and any material that causes
such feelings should be excluded.
God is concerned with our hearts, not just our actions.
If what we read or view causes us to desire or
fantasize about sinful sexual activities, then we have
sinned in our hearts.
Finally we are told that there are things which are
not sinful, but are also not profitable. We must decide
if there is any good to come from something, and
weigh that against any bad that could come from it.
REFERENCES
 Thes are references I found on the web (http://www.central-
mosque.com/fiqh/kissf.htm)
 http://www.islamawareness.net/Sex/
 Imam al-Daylami (Allah have mercy on him) records a narration on
the authority of Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) that the
Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) is reported to
have said: “One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s
wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of
kissing and words.” (Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami, 2/55)
 The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) also
stated:
 “Every game a person plays is futile except for archery, training one’s
horse and playing with one’s wife”. (Sunan Tirmidhi, Musnad Ahmad,
Sunan Ibn Majah).
 The following Hadith ought to act as a strong warning and a
deterrent to those guilty of this. Hazrat Abu Saeed (radiyallahu-
anhu) reports that Nabi (sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: "The worst
person in the eyes of Allah on the Day of Qiyamah is that couple who
have an intimate relation with each other and the man then reveals
the (bedroom) secrets to others" -Muslim Shareef
REFERENCES
 http://www.zawaj.com/articles/intimate.html
PROHIBITION OF ANAL INTERCOURSE
 Anal intercourse, which is forbidden in Islam. A
man may get to his wife from her behind,
provided the male organ is introduced in the
vagina and not in the anus. This was clearly
indicated by the Quran and the Sunna- The
Quran says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you;
so approach your tilth when and how you will"
(2:223)
 His companions were surprised and asked him'
'How come the one of us answers the urge of his
desire and out of this gets the reward of a
charity. To which the prophet answered:
 Don't you see that if he does the same but in a
forbidden situation it would be counted against
him as a sin? And so if he does it in legitimacy it
is counted for him as a charity." (Muslim)
 Tantric foreplay

 Tantric foreplay is the first step in the lovemaking session according

to the tantra principles. Tantric sex is against rushing things for the
purpose of reaching an orgasm, so tantric foreplay is a way to prepare
the body and the mind for the union between the two bodies and the
universe. The tantric rules say that foreplay must be focused on the
preparation before sexual intercourse. Tantric foreplay may include
sensual baths between the two partners in a relaxing atmosphere.
Fragrance oil and candles may also be used to set up the mood.[6]

 The tantric foreplay is only about giving each other time to connect
spiritually and bind. Staring at each other while in a cross-legged
position and touching the other's hand palms is a usual foreplay tactic
used by tantra practitioners. Tantric foreplay may also include
massages. The massage that is applied, according to the tantric
philosophy, has not the purpose to reach orgasms but to give each
other pleasure and connect at a spiritual level
GO SLOW AND ALLOW WIFE TO REACH
ORGASM

 "If any of you has sex with his wife let he be true
to her. If he attains his pleasure before her then
he shouldn't hurry her away until she also
attains her pleasure." (Anas )
 "Let-not the one of you fall upon his wife like a
beast (camel) falls. It is more appropriate to set a
messenger afore the act"
GO SLOW AND ALLOW WIFE TO REACH
ORGASM
 Standard writings in sexology over the past few decades have
described the physiological human sexual response and
classified it into the four phases of excitation, plateau, orgasm
and resolution. Ideally these phases should coincide in both
partners, otherwise there will be sexual dysharmony, often
due to the man getting his orgasm while the woman is still
eagerly awaiting, with inflamed desire, to also achieve her
orgasm.
 As orgasm is followed by resolution where the male organ gets
flacid and the man enters into a refractory period after his
sexual desire has been satiated through orgasm, the
conclusion of the act at that stage would be unfair to the
woman having been aroused but not satisfied, and that is
what the prophet warns against. The man should not just turn
his back and go away or go to sleep, leaving his wife
frustrated. The coital exercise should proceed until she is
satisfied. An effective method of correcting this form of
dyshan:nony is to spend time enjoying their intimacy and
helping themselves to one another's bodies in totality, before
moving on to genital intercourse.
GO SLOW AND ALLOW WIFE TO REACH
ORGASM
 The pleasures of sex spread themselves over a much wider
area than the genital region, as manifest in kissing,
embracing and caressing the body especially over the
erogenous zones of the female physique. This indeed is the
normal and commendable approach to sex. It adds to the
mechanistic element of sex, the emotional dimension of
tender love and mutual affection beautifully portrayed in
the Quran as: "They are your garments, and they are
yours. " It also ensures that by the time the couple move on
to genital introduction, the woman would have been
aroused over a sufficient period of time and become so
excited that she is already quite near her orgasm. In
modern medical jargon this prelude is called the' 'foreplay',
but again long before it was dreamt in the rest of the world
of such women's rights, the prophet of Islam gave the same
guidance, politely referring to foreplay as the "messenger",
in his saying:
 Similarly a woman should be responsive to her
husband's call. Seeing that men are more prone
to sexual arousal by a variety of visual stimuli as
they move about all day, the prophet's advice was
that the wife should always answer her
husband's call:
 "The right of the husband is that when he calls
his wife to sex she should not deny him herself."
(Tialissi)
 The prophet also advised that whenever a man
sees something that arouses his sexual desire, he
should go and have sex with his wife.
THE PRINCIPLES OF CONJUGAL LOVE IN ISLAM
ARE FEW AND UNCOMPLICATED.

 1. Sexual relations are for the pleasure of both the husband and the wife and
for the procreation of children. Sexual intercourse is not limited to vaginal
penetration but includes other forms of sexual caressing, such as kissing and
fondling of various kinds.
 2. Nothing should be done that is offensive or harmful to either person. Each
has a duty to be sexually available to the other, but neither has the right to
disgust or injure the other.
 3. With a few exceptions, the couple can engage in any activities that they like,
in any manner and in any position. Allah rewards such activities as surely as
he punishes sinful activities. The Qur'an says, "Women are your fields. Go then
into your fields as you please." (2:223)
 4. It is forbidden to have vaginal intercourse while a woman is menstruating
(Qur'an 2:222). According to the Sunnah of the Prophet (God's grace and peace
be upon him), a man and his menstruating wife can however give one another
pleasure so long as the woman's genitals are avoided.
 5. There are ahadith that forbid anal intercourse and scholars generally agree
that it is not permissible. However, in his tafsir (commentary) Tabaari (3d
century A.H.) while forbidding sodomy, says that earlier authorities were
divided on the question.
OTHER GUIDELINES
 6. The Qur'an and the Sunnah are generally silent as to the various forms that
sexual relations may take. Most authorities consider that it is up to the
husband and wife in love and mutual respect to decide how to physically
express their sexual desires.
 7. What goes on in bedroom, is a private matter and should not be discussed or
revealed to other persons unless there is some necessity, such as health or
safety. Abu Hurairah narrates that the Prophet (pbuh) said this about people
who reveal and discuss openly their sexual practices: "Do you know what those
who do this are like? Those who do this are like a male and female devil who
meet each other on the road and satisfy their desire while the people look on."
 Therefore, in Islam the husband and the wife choose their sexual activities
according to the sure teaching of the Qur'an, in the light of the Sunnah as we
are able to understand and appreciate it, in mutual respect for one another and
knowing that the only witness to the expression of their desires will be Allah
the Exalted, who will judge them according to their deeds and their heartfelt
intentions.
 The question of the lawfulness of oral-genital contact is difficult because there
are many opinions. For some, it is forbidden. For others, tolerated. For some it
is lawful. Some consider it to be lawful as long as the couple use such contacts
as foreplay and conclude their love-making with vaginal intercourse.
 I believe that this is a matter to be decided by the husband and wife together
after seeking the guidance of Allah, who alone knows best.
LAWFUL SEX
 We are to have sex only in marriage; one man with one woman.
We are to lovingly meet the legitimate sexual needs and wants of our
spouse.

 We are to abstain from immoral sex.

 adultery

 homosexuality

 bestiality

 prostitution

 incest