SELF-CONCEPT

Do you see your ideal self or your

actual self?

Your ideal self is the self that you

aspire to be. It is the one that you
hope will possess characteristics
similar to that of a mentor or some
other worldly figure.
 Your actual self, however, is the one
that you actually see. It is the self that
has characteristics that you were
nurtured or, in some cases, born to
have.
The actual self and the ideal self
are two broad categories of self-
concept.
 Self-concept refers to your awareness of
yourself. It is the construct that negotiates
these two selves. In other words, it connotes
first the identification of the ideal self as
separate from others, and second, it
encompasses all the behaviors evaluated in
the actual self that you engage in to reach
the ideal self.
 The actual self is built on self-
knowledge. Self-knowledge is derived
from social interactions that provide
insight into how others react to you.
The actual self is who we actually are. It
is how we think, how we feel, look, and
act. The actual self can be seen by
others, but because we have no way of
truly knowing how others view us, the
actual self is our self-image.
The ideal self, on the other hand, is
how we want to be. It is an idealized
image that we have developed over
time, based on what we have learned
and experienced. The ideal self could
include components of what our
parents have taught us, what we
admire in others, what our society
promotes, and what we think is in our
best interest.
There is negotiation that exists
between the two selves which is
complex because there are numerous
exchanges between the ideal and
actual self. These exchanges are
exemplified in social roles that are
adjusted and re-adjusted, and are
derived from outcomes of social
interactions from infant to adult
development.
Alignment is important. If the way that
I am (the actual self) is aligned with
the way that I want to be (the ideal
self), then I will feel a sense of mental
well-being or peace of mind. If the way
that I am is not aligned with how I
want to be, the incongruence, or lack
of alignment, will result in mental
distress or anxiety.
The greater the level of incongruence
between the ideal self and real self,
the greater the level of resulting
distress. Personal development
modules ultimate aim is greater self-
knowledge that will lead to higher
alignment between these two
personality domains.
Personal Effectiveness
Activity: MY BANNER – THE
TREASURE WITHIN ME