Conflict Resolving and Dealing With Difficult People

CONFLICT RESOLVING AND DEALING WITH
DIFFICULT PEOPLE
At the end of this session (s) students will
be able to:
• Explain major causes of conflict in the
work setting
• Assert skills in conflict situations
• Strategise for handling difficult people
• Discuss effective negotiation skills
• Understand the conflict resolution
process
• Evaluate the contemporary challenges
facing labour unions
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Views of Conflict
• Traditional view
– A clash between incompatible people,
ideas, or interests
– A negative experience

Views of Conflict
• New view: An opportunity

– Personal growth
– To use positive, constructive conflict
resolution skills
– Discover creative solutions

A New View of Conflict
• Discovering creative resolutions to a

conflict may serve to
– Clarify a relationship
– Provide new ways of thinking about the
source of the conflict
– Open up possibilities for improving a
relationship
– Open people to new points of view

Total Person Insight
Companies pay a high price for conflict.

Productivity drops, work relationships
suffer and energy is wasted, as workers
become increasingly angry, stressed
and defensive.
Cheryl Shavers
Senior Manager, Intel Corporation

The Cost of Conflict
• A lot of time and money is invested in

conflict resolution
• About 20% of managerial time
• Cost of unresolved conflict can also be
high

Finding the Root of Conflict
• Conflict is caused by a range of factors

• Some are major and may be addressed
through
– the legal system
– labor negotiations
• Others are minor, but may affect
productivity

• It is necessary to find the root cause of

conflict in order to deal with it
• Unless the root cause is identified, it is
likely to recur

If root cause…
• stimulates constructive conflict, it can
be allowed to continue
• stimulates destructive conflict, steps
need to be taken to correct the problem

Common Roots of Conflict
• Ineffective • Adversarial
communication management
• Values clashes • Noncompliance
• Culture clashes • Competition for
• Work policies and scarce resources
practices • Personality clashes

Ineffective Communication
• Ineffective communication is a major

source of personal conflict
• When different people work closely
together, communication breakdowns
are inevitable
• First determine if the conflict is a
misunderstanding or a true
disagreement

Ineffective Communication
• For misunderstanding
– explain your position or provide more
details
• For true disagreements
– persuading one or both parties to change
positions may be necessary
– root problem will persist until someone
changes

Value Clashes
• Conflict may be due to value differences

between
– generations
– women and men
– people with different value priorities
– “loyalist” versus “job-hoppers”

Culture Clashes
• Occurs between people

– from other countries
– between people from different parts of the
U.S.
• Work force reflects cultural diversity
• Different cultural traditions can easily
come into conflict in the workplace
• Issues range from simple to complex

Work Policies and Practices
• Conflict may happen when

organizations maintain confusing or
arbitrary
– Rules
– Regulations
– Performance standards
• Often surface when managers don’t
understand that employees view
policies as unfair

Adversarial Management
• Conflict can occur when managers view

employees and other managers with
distrust and suspicion
• View others as “the enemy”
• Leads to a lack of respect by
employees
• Makes teamwork and cooperation
difficult

Noncompliance
• Workers refusing to comply with rules

• Or accept fair share of workload
• Makes other co-workers angry

Competition for Scarce Resources
• Downsizing and cost cutting can lead to

destructive competition for scarce
resources
• When decisions are not clearly
explained, workers suspect coworkers
of devious tactics

Personality Clashes
• People have differing

– Communication styles
– Temperaments
– Attitudes
• People may not be able to identify
cause of dislike

Resolving Conflict Assertively
• Being assertive can be helpful in a

conflict
• Appropriate assertive behavior does not
violate the rights of others
• It is a matter of getting others to
understand your viewpoint

Resolving Conflict Assertively
• People who exhibit assertive behavior

skills are able to
– handle conflicts with greater ease and
assurance
– maintain good interpersonal relations

Aggressive or Assertive
• Distinction between being aggressive

and being assertive
• Aggressive behavior violates the rights
of others
• Aggressive people may interrupt, talk
fast, ignore others, and use other forms
of verbal abuse to maintain control

Nonassertive Behavior
• People who avoid conflict by ignoring

things are exhibiting nonassertive
behavior
• Passive approach to conflict
• Less likely to make their needs known

Nonassertive Behavior
• Nonassertive people are more likely to

be taken advantage of by colleagues
• Management may question their ability
to lead

How to Become More Assertive
You can learn to express wants, dislikes

and feelings
• in a clear and direct manner
• without threatening or attacking others

Develop Assertiveness Skills
1. In the beginning, take small steps

2. Use communication skills that
enhance assertiveness
3. Be soft on people and hard on
problems

Learn to Negotiate Effectively
• Think win/win
• Beware of defensive behaviors
• Know that negotiating styles vary

Think Win/Win
• Three basic approaches to negotiations:

– Win/Lose
– Lose/Lose
– Win/Win

The Win/Lose Strategy
• Attempt to achieve your goals at the

expense of others
• Short-term solution only
• Doesn’t address the underlying problem
• Loser feels frustrated which seeds
another conflict
• Use when two factions simply cannot
agree or cannot talk to each other

The Lose/Lose Strategy
• Both parties give up something and may

feel frustrated
• Can be applied when
– There is little time to find a solution
– Negotiations are at a standstill
– To remove a conflict completely
• Union-management disputes often fall
into this trap

The Win/Win Strategy
• Fix the problem, not the blame

• Not a “we versus they” approach
• Work toward a mutually satisfying
solution
• Resolution will be based upon the
merits of the case and not through
political or personal influence

The Win/Win Strategy
• Process should be
– Flexible
– Sensitive
– Patient
– Calm
• Most vital skill is listening

Beware of Defensive Behaviors
• When one person becomes defensive,

others may mirror the behavior
• We often become defensive when we
feel our needs are being ignored
• Progress is stopped because people
stop
– Listening
– Thinking

Beware of Defensive Behaviors
• Address needs of all parties involved

• Prevent defensive behavior by
consciously maintaining a positive
image of the other people involved

Total Person Insight
Any method of negotiation may be fairly

judged by three criteria: It should
produce a wise agreement if agreement
is possible. It should be efficient. And it
should improve or at least not damage
the relationship between the parties.
Roger Fisher and William Ury
Authors, Getting to Yes

Know that Negotiating Styles Vary
• Style develops based on

– Personality
– Assertiveness skills
– Past experiences dealing with conflict

Know that Negotiating Styles Vary
• Five different behavioral styles

• Based on two factors
– Assertiveness
– Cooperation
• Different styles are appropriate in
different situations

Negotiating Styles Vary
• Avoidance style
– Uncooperative/Nonassertive
• Accommodating style
– Cooperative/Nonassertive
• Win/lose style
– Uncooperative/Assertive

Negotiating Styles Vary
• Compromising style
– Moderately assertive/Moderately
cooperative
• Problem-solving style
– Assertive/Cooperative

Figure 13.2
Behavioral Styles
For Conflict Situations
Source: Adapted from Robert B. Maddux, Team Building: An Exercise in Leadership, Crisp
Publications Inc. Menlo, CA, 1986, p. 53. Reprinted by permission of the publisher.

Conflict Resolution Process
• Progressive organizations want

employees to resolve conflicts
whenever possible
• Every employee needs to possess
conflict resolution skills
• The conflict resolution process consists
of five steps

Follow These Steps
Step 1: Decide whether you have a

misunderstanding or a true
disagreement
• A misunderstanding is the failure to
accurately understand another’s point
• A disagreement is a failure to agree in
spite of accurate understanding

Follow These Steps
Step 2: Define the problem and collect

facts
• Everyone needs to focus on the
problem, not what happened as a result
• Establishing the problem can expose
real cause of conflict
• Separate facts from opinions or
perceptions

Follow These Steps
Step 3: Clarify perceptions

• Interpretation of the facts about a
situation
• Attempt to see the problem as others
see it

Follow These Steps
Step 4: Generate options for mutual gain

• Generate options that will fix the
problem
• People often want to negotiate for a
single solution
• Use brainstorming
– Process that encourages generation of a
wide variety of ideas and possibilities

Follow These Steps
Step 5: Implement options with integrity

• Finalize a solution or agreement that
offers a win/win strategy
• Establish timetables for implementation

Alternative Dispute Resolution
• Some conflicts between workers and

employers cannot be resolved
• Many companies are creating
alternative dispute resolution programs,
or ADRs

Alternative Dispute Resolution
• Can involve
– An open door policy
– Toll-free hot line
– A peer panel review
– A third-party mediator
– An arbitrator

The Role of Labor Unions
• Labor unions were given the right to

organize and represent workers in the
1930s
• Union membership has declined over
the past half century
– International competition
– Deregulation
– Mergers
– Automation

Labor’s Role in the New Economy
• Only 13.5 percent of today’s workers

belonging to labor unions
• Less incentive to form unions due to
– Dual-income families
– Growing use of temporary and contract
workers
– Telecommuters
– Erosion of traditional employment bonds

Labor’s Role in the New Economy
• Unionization of nontraditional workers

– Graduate students
– Physicians
• Unions working closer with
management
– More cooperative relationships

Collective Bargaining
• Disputes escalate when employment

contracts expire and need to be
negotiated
• Procedure that defines the rights and
privileges of both sides involved and
establishes the terms of employment
and length of contract

• If labor and management cannot come

to an agreement, they may submit their
disputes to:
– Mediation
– Voluntary arbitration
– Compulsory arbitration

Mediation: A neutral third party listens to

both sides and suggests solutions.
• It carries no binding authority
• Both parties are free to reject or accept
the mediator’s decision

Voluntary arbitration: Both sides willingly

submit their disagreements to a neutral
party
• The arbitrator's decision must be
accepted by both sides

Compulsory arbitration: An arbitrator who

dictates a solution that is binding on
both sides and can be enforced in a
court of law
• The government appoints when the
labor-management dispute threatens
national health and safety or will
damage an entire industry

• When collective bargaining, mediation,

and arbitration are not enough to settle,
unions may recommend that their
members vote to strike
• Generally lose/lose situation

Contemporary Issues
Facing Labor Unions
• As labor unions strive for survival, they
must address the needs of the current
and future work force
– Women
– Inequities between executives and
employees
– Health care
– Living wage
– Stable employment

Summary
• Conflicts happen every day

• They can arise from
– Poor communication
– Values and culture clashes
– Confusing work policies
– Competition for scarce resources
– Adversarial management

Summary
• Conflict can also come from employees

who
– refuse to carry their share of work
– have difficult personalities
• Conflicts can have negative or positive
effects on an organization

Summary
• Positive effect sometimes forces

creative and innovative solutions
• Assertiveness skills are necessary in
conflicts

Summary
• There are several approaches for

dealing with conflict:
– win/lose
– lose/lose
– win/win
• Listening is important in a win/win
strategy

Summary
• Organizations often use a five-step

process
• Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)
can be used to resolve conflicts and
avoid legal action

Summary
• Labor unions were established to help

balance the power between labor and
management
• Today, labor leaders and business
owners are finding new ways to
cooperate with each other

Summary
• Flexibility and innovation are far more

productive than old adversarial styles
• Labor unions today face a number of
contemporary issues, including the
changing needs of employees

Conflict Resolving and Dealing With Difficult People

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CONFLICT RESOLVING AND DEALING WITH

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 3

• New view: An opportunity

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 4

• Discovering creative resolutions to a

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 5

Companies pay a high price for conflict.

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 6

• A lot of time and money is invested in

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 7

• Conflict is caused by a range of factors

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 8

• It is necessary to find the root cause of

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 9

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 10

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 11

• Ineffective communication is a major

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• Conflict may be due to value differences

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• Occurs between people

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• Conflict may happen when

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 16

• Conflict can occur when managers view

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• Workers refusing to comply with rules

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 18

• Downsizing and cost cutting can lead to

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 19

• People have differing

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 20

• Being assertive can be helpful in a

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 21

• People who exhibit assertive behavior

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 22

• Distinction between being aggressive

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• People who avoid conflict by ignoring

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 24

• Nonassertive people are more likely to

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 25

You can learn to express wants, dislikes

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 27

1. In the beginning, take small steps

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 28

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 29

• Three basic approaches to negotiations:

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 30

• Attempt to achieve your goals at the

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 31

• Both parties give up something and may

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 32

• Fix the problem, not the blame

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Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 13 - 34

• When one person becomes defensive,

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• Address needs of all parties involved

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Any method of negotiation may be fairly

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• Style develops based on