Will you be my friend?

Abbey Cook, Courtney Davis, and Kenzie Johnson

 Questions Investigated:
How do children of different
ages determine their
friendships?
What qualities do children look for in a
friend?
At what point do children develop a friend
group?
How do environmental factors play into
friendships?
Literature Review
● As early as age 2, children develop emotionally and cognitively through pretend play
○ Egocentric
■ Ex) hoard toys, dominate certain areas of the room, and choose who they want to play
with based on similar interests in a game, toy, etc.
○ Toddlers and preschoolers engage in parallel play and gradually move toward collaborative play
● Friendship is a skill
○ Young children gain social awareness and interact with others through play and other
collaborative activities
● As children get older, friend groups are formed (ex. triad groups)
○ Teachers can scaffold positive peer interactions
■ ex) model examples of more engaging language
○ Forming of friend groups is commonly seen by 3rd grade
Literature Review
● Traits students look for in a friend:
○ Trustworthy
○ Kind
○ Joyful
○ Reliable
○ Shares Common Interests
○ Understands Differences
● Environmental factors that influence friendships in the classroom:
○ Inclusion of children's literature
■ ex) Swimmy by Leo Lionni shows the value of each character
○ Mutual respect, sense of belonging and acceptance
○ Promoting a caring community of learners is essential for supporting positive peer relationships
Data Sources

Interview from Ms. Schremmer and her 3rd grade class

Interview from Mrs. Waite and her 4th grade class

Interview from Mrs. Madden and her 1st grade class

Findings

● Overall
○ At younger grades (until about 3rd-4th grade): kids are more self-centered in their
friendships, “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” phase, friendships must benefit
themselves
○ At older grades (4th/5th grade and above): kids care more about the wellness of
their friends, want to do nice things for their friends, enjoy friendships on a deeper
level
○ In diverse environments, children tend to make friends with kids that are similar to
themselves. In similar environments, children tend to make friends that are more
diverse than them
Findings
1. What do you look for in a friend?
a. In 1st grade: someone that plays with me and likes to be kind, someone that plays with me during recess and likes to
play football
b. In 3rd grade: kind, nice, defend me, give me things, she acts like me, stand up for me,
c. In 4th grade: kindness, cool, loyalty, considerate, nice, funny, athletic
2. Do you have a best friend or close friend group?
a. In 1st grade: group of friends
b. In 3rd grade: Best friend: 4/10 Friend group: 6/10
c. In 4th grade: Best friend 2/4, Friend group 2/4
3. Why are you friends with the people you are?
a. In 1st grade: they like to draw with me, play with me, and do gymnastics because that’s what I like to do, because they
like to play with me at recess and sit with me at lunch
b. In 3rd grade: they’re kind, they’re fun, so I will have fun, they’re my neighbors, he helps me with my problems with other
people
c. In 4th grade: they’re kind, they're’ nice, they understand me, they’re athletic, they’re cool, they’re sweet
4. Do you like to make new friends or do you like to stay with the same friends?
a. In 1st grade: make new friends
b. In 3rd grade: Same friends: 5/10 New friends: 5/10
c. In 4th grade: Same friends: 2/4, New friends 2/4
Application for the Classroom

● Teachers can create positive, safe environments where students are free to be
themselves and feel welcomed by their classmates.
● Teachers can have group activities where students are able to work with other
people they may not usually work with. This can help children grow
relationships with people they may not typically hang out with.
● Teachers can encourage students to include all children in games and
activities.
● Teachers can read books about making friends.
● Teachers can create a family environment where all students feel cared for and
welcomed.
Areas of Further Study

● Bullying
○ How does bullying affect the quality of friendships?
● Social/Emotional Development pertaining to each grade level
○ Do more socially/emotionally developed children have more friends or better quality
friendships?
● Moral development at each age level
○ Kohlberg’s levels of development
○ Does moral development have an impact on children’s friendships?
● Environment
○ How does environment factor into friendships?
○ Are children friends with other children because of convenience?
■ They’re neighbors, they go to school with them, etc.
Works Cited

How to be a friend book: https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Friend-about-Friendship/dp/0870295039

Podcast: Making it easier for kids to manage friendships

https://childpsychologist.com.au/podcast-making-it-easier-for-kids-to-manage-friendships-in-2017/

Building Community in the Inclusive Classroom: Setting the Stages for Success:
https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/jul2018/building-community-inclusive-classroom

Promoting Young Children’s Social and Emotional Health:

https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/mar2018/promoting-social-and-emotional-health

Peer interactions in a Preschool Social Triangle:

https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/sept2019/peer-interaction-preschool-social-triangle

5 traits of a Good Friend (and How to Help Kids Develop Them)

https://www.faithgateway.com/5-traits-good-friend-help-kids-develop/#.XcxFz797lAY
Works Cited

How kids make friends and why it matters:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2012/09/01/how-kids-make-friends-and-why-matters/7ZNKqGszwNq5PDmdCh1M7H/story.ht
ml

A friend like me article: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/a-friend-like-me/

Children’s growing friendships:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/growing-friendships/201202/childrens-growing-friendships

Kohlberg’s Stages of Development:

https://courses.lumenlearning.com/teachereducationx92x1/chapter/kohlbergs-stages-of-moral-development/

Why some kids have trouble making friends:

https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/common-challenges/making-keeping-friends/why-some-kids-have-trouble-making-frien
ds

How to Encourage Classroom Friendships at School

https://www.planbee.com/blog/how-to-encourage-classroom-friendships-at-school/