COUNSELING

PRACTICE

Lesson 2
INTERPERSONAL
SKILLS
Wolfelt: “all interpersonal
relationships are either
helpful, neutral, or harmful”
WOLFELT’S CHARACTERISTICS OF THE
COUNSELOR

•Empathy
•Respect
•Warmth and Caring
•Genuineness
 HELPING SKILLS
• Attending/Listening: “giving undivided
attention by means of verbal and non-verbal
behavior”
• What are some barriers to listening skills?
 PARAPHRASING
•“expressing a thought or idea in an
alternate and sometimes a shortened
form”

•Paraphrasing exercise
CLARIFYING
• “the process of bringing
vague content in the
interaction into clearer focus
or understanding” (Wolfelt)
 PERCEPTION
CHECKING
•“asking the person for verification of your
understanding….asking for feedback
about the accuracy of your listening”
•(Wolfelt)
 LEADING
• “anticipating where the person is going and
responding with an appropriately
encouraging remark” (Wolfelt)
• 2 types: indirect and direct
 QUESTIONING
• “a method of gaining information and increasing
understanding” (Canine)
• 2 purposes:
• 1) to obtain specific information
• 2) to direct the person’s interaction with you into more
helpful areas

• Open-ended questions are preferable in most situations.

 OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

• allow the person to tell more about what he/she

might be thinking or feeling
• help the person better understand
• focus on the feelings of the person
REFLECTING FEELINGS
• “expressing in fresh words the essential
feelings stated or strongly implied of the
person”

• How is this helpful to the funeral director?

 INFORMING
• “sharing of facts possessed by the counselor” (Wolfelt)
• Providing information that will allow the person to
make an informed decision.
• Information must be useful to the person receiving it.
 SUMMARIZING
• “a method of tying together several ideas and feelings at the end
of a period of discussion or the arrangement conference”
(Wolfelt)

• How can this be helpful to the counselor?

BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION

Wolfelt and Van Beck

WOLFELT’S BARRIERS
• Counselor’s dominance.
• Bombarding with questions.
• Inappropriate self-disclosure.
• Offering platitudes or false reassurance.
• Discouraging expression of emotions.
• Emotional distancing.
VAN BECK’S COMMUNICATION
BLUNDERS
• Interrupters
• Belittling
• Flip Answers
• The Bore
• The Questioner
• The Blusterer
• The Loud Speaker
• The Disputer