Writing Bad-News Messages

Learning
Learning Objectives
Objectives
List
 List the
the steps
steps in
in the
the outline
outline and
and identify
identify the
the
advantages
advantages of of using
using itit to
to convey
convey bad
bad news.
news.
Write
 Write letters
letters refusing
refusing aa request.
request.
Write
 Write letters
letters denying
denying aa claim.
claim.
Write
 Write letters
letters refusing
refusing to to complete
complete an
an order.
order.
Write
 Write letters
letters denying
denying credit.
credit.
Write
 Write aa letter
letter providing
providing constructive
constructive
criticism.
criticism.
List
 List ways
ways toto handle
handle special
special problems
problems about
about
the
the unpleasant.
unpleasant.
All
All managers
managers must
must know
know how
how to
to
deliver
deliver bad
bad news
news with
with grace
grace and
and tact.
tact.

I NG
OS
Y CL
O R
C T
FA
Whenever
Whenever possible,
possible, offer
offer alternatives
alternatives to
to
“no”
“no” and
and always
always convey
convey badbad news
news with
with
sensitivity
sensitivity and
and empathy.
empathy.
 Outline:
Outline:
When
When the
the Reader
Reader Will
Will Be
Be Displeased
Displeased
Present a neutral idea that leads
to the reasons for the refusal Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com

Present facts, analysis, and March 18, 1999

reasons for the refusal

Mr. Robert Duncan
Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed

State the refusal positively;

project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the
community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.
The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you
described demand an individual with upper-level managerial

imply the refusal if possible

experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its
Although
organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
our current
minimal personnel
level needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-

term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.

Close with an idea that shifts the Sincerely

Angela
Angela Larche

emphasis away from the refusal

Director

and indicates a continuing Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

relationship with the reader

 Techniques
Techniques for
for De-emphasizing
De-emphasizing Negative
Negative Ideas
Ideas

 Use
Use outline
outline that
that positions
positions the
the bad
bad news
news between
between aa logical
logical
explanation
explanation and
and aa goodwill
goodwill closing.
closing.

 Imply
Imply the
the bad
bad news
news ifif possible.
possible. Use
Use subjunctive
subjunctive mood.
mood.
Had
Hadyou
youselected
selectedaavariable
variablerate,
rate,you
youcould
couldhave
havetaken
taken
advantage
advantageof
of the
therecent
recentdrop
dropinininterest
interestrates.
rates.

 Use
Use positive
positive language
language that
that accents
accents the
the good.
good.
Select
 Select words
words with
with positive
positive connotations.
connotations.
State
 State what
what you
you can
can do
do instead
instead of
of what
what you
you cannot
cannot
do.
do.

Include
Not:
Not: We a
Include a pleasant
pleasant
cannot idea in
in the
ideaorder
ship your the refusal
. . . . sentence.
refusal
until
We cannot ship your order until . . . .sentence.
Instead:
Instead: Your
Yourorder
orderwill
willbe
beshipped
shippedwhen.
when.......

 Offer
Offer aa counterproposal
counterproposal that
that shows
shows the
the writer
writer
wants
wants to to help.
help.
Although
Althoughourourcurrent
currentpersonnel
personnelshortage
shortageprevents
preventsus
us...,.,
we
wecan
can(alternative).
(alternative).


 Use
Use stylistic
stylistic techniques:
techniques:
Complex
 Complex sentence
sentence -- bad
bad news
news in
in the
the dependent
dependent
clause
clause
General
 General terms
terms and
and abstract
abstract nouns
nouns
Passive
 Passive voice
voice
Not:
Not: You
Youfailed
failedto
toverify
verifythe
thepayroll
payrollfigures.
figures.
Instead:The
Instead: Thepayroll
payrollfigures
figuresmust
mustbe
beverified.
verified. (passive)
(passive)
Please
Pleaseverify
verifythe
thepayroll
payrollfigures.
figures.(focuses
(focuseson
onthe
the
solution—not
solution—notthetheproblem)
problem)
 Techniques for First Paragraph
Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
 Begin with a buffer -
something about which
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com

both sides can agree

March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert Duncan

Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed
project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the
 Avoid empty
acknowledgments of the
community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.
The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you
described demand an individual with upper-level managerial
experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its

obvious
Although
organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
our current
minimal personnel
level needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-

term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.
Sincerely
Angela
Angela Larche
 Avoid tipping off the bad
news too early
Director

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

 Avoid starting too positive

so as to build false hopes
 Reasons and Explanation Section

Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com
 Provide a smooth transition from
March 18, 1999
the opening to the explanation
Mr. Robert Duncan
Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
 Precede the bad news with one
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed
or more reasons that are logical
to the reader
project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the
community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.
The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you
described demand an individual with upper-level managerial
experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its
Although

 Avoid using “company policy” as

organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
our current
minimal personnel
level needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-

term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,

the reason
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.
Sincerely
Angela

 Show reader benefit and/or

Angela Larche
Director

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

consideration
 Bad-News Sentence
Patton Industries
1230 Industrial
 Avoid unnecessary use of
negative words
Road www.patton.com
Naperville, IL
60540
March 18, 1999

Mr. Robert Duncan

Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
 Place negative news in buried
position
Dear Bob
You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-
needed project will aid the hundreds of homeless and
increase the community's awareness of the needs of this
sector
The of our population.
success of this project depends on a good project

 State the bad news once;

director. The organizational, leadership, and public relations
activities you described demand an individual with upper-level
managerial experience. During the last year, Nemitz has
decentralized its organization, reducing the number of upper-
Although our current
level managers to thepersonnel shortage
minimal level prevents us from
needed.
lending you an executive, we do want to support your worthy
project.

avoid restating or returning to it

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar
short-term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the
campaign, solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity.
If you can benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700,
extension 791.
Sincerely

 Emphasize any positive aspect

Angela
Angela Larche
Director

 Follow bad news with a

Makers of Quality Products Since 1903

counterproposal when possible

 Closing Paragraph
Patton Industries
1230 Industrial Road
Naperville, IL 60540 www.patton.com
 Convey an empathetic tone
March 18, 1999  Avoid returning to the bad
news
Mr. Robert Duncan
Neeley Foundation
9835 Franklin Building
Cambridge, MA 02140-9835
Dear Bob

 Avoid trite, worn-out

You are to be commended for your commitment to create an
endowment for the Kirkland Homeless Shelter. This much-needed
project will aid the hundreds of homeless and increase the
community's awareness of the needs of this sector of our
population.
The success of this project depends on a good project director.
The organizational, leadership, and public relations activities you

statements that seem

described demand an individual with upper-level managerial
experience. During the last year, Nemitz has decentralized its
Although
organization, reducing the number of upper-level managers to the
our current
minimal personnel
level needed. shortage prevents us from lending you an
executive, we do want to support your worthy project.

shallow and superficial

Amy Murray in our senior executive corps directed a similar short-
term project, Homes for Humanity. She organized the campaign,
solicited area coordinators, and managed publicity. If you can
benefit from her services, call her at 555-8700, extension 791.
Sincerely
Angela
Angela Larche
Director
 End with a positive, forward-
Makers of Quality Products Since 1903
looking idea
 Check
Check Your
Your Writing:
Writing: Unpleasant
Unpleasant Messages
Messages

 Use original expression(sentences are not copied

directly from the definition of the problem or from
sample letters in text); omit clichés)

Mechanics
 Ensure that keyboarding, spelling, grammar, and
punctuation are perfect
Format
 Use correct letter format (block, modified block, or
simplified) and punctuation style (open or mixed)
 Balance letter on the page
 Include standard letters parts in appropriate position
 Include special parts if necessary (subject line,
enclosure, copy, etc.)
 Check
Check Your
Your Writing:
Writing:
Unpleasant
Unpleasant Messages
Messages
Content Precede the main idea (unpleasant idea) with
 Be sure the principal idea (the meaningful discussion
unpleasant idea or refusal) is sufficiently  Use a closing sentence that is positive (an
clear alternative, resale, or sales promotion)
 Use sufficient supporting details and
present them in a logical sequence Style
 Verify accuracy of facts or figures  Write clearly and concisely (e.g., words are
 Structure the message to meet ethical easily understood)
and legal requirements  Use techniques of subordination to keep the
bad news from emerging with unnecessary
Organization vividness. For example bad news
 Structure the first sentence to introduce • appears in a dependent clause
the general subject • is stated through indirect statement
• without stating the bad news • is revealed the use of subjunctive mood
• without leading the reader to expect  Use first person sparingly or not at all
good news  Make ideas cohere (changes in thought are
• without making such an obvious not abrupt)
statement as “I am replying to your  Use relatively short sentences that vary in
letter” or “Your letter has been length and structure
received”  Keep paragraphs relatively short
 Place details or explanations before bad
news
 Bad News Correspondence
To:
From:
Subject: Travel Request Denial
Date: 6 June 1999
I regret to inform you that your request for travel funds to travel to
the Syllabus Conference in Santa Clara, California, has been
denied. The university has limited funds available for travel this year
and although I know you really want to go, I can't afford to give you
the $1500 you requested (which by the way is a lot to request at this
late date) at the current time of this request.
I hope you understand our position because we really want our
faculty to be happy. Even though I can't pay for this trip, I encourage
you to apply again for future travel money because I hope to receive
more money budgeted for travel the next fiscal year of 2000/2001.
Thank you again for your request. I always strive to help faculty fund
their travels.
 Bad News Correspondence
Discussion: The example on the above is problematic for
several reasons. First, the bad news is mentioned right
away, in the subject line and in the first sentence. Upon
reading this news, the reader might be shocked, will
probably be angry, and may not read the rest of the
memo. To prepare the reader and to try to get the reader
to understand the reasoning, the writer should place a
buffer and the reasons before the news. Second, this
memo lacks you-attitude and is written from the writer's
own viewpoint. Notice that the word "I" is used 8 times.
This tone may cause the reader to conclude that the
writer doesn't care about him or her. Throughout the
memo, the writer needs to be more concerned about the
reader's reactions and opinions.
 Bad News Correspondence
To:
From:
Subject: Travel Request
Date: 6 June 1999
Thank you for your interest in new, emerging online technologies.
The travel committee reviewed your request to attend the Syllabus
Conference in Santa Clara, California in July.
The university increased its travel budget this year by $5,000.
However, with the increase in requests we’ve received and because
we are close to the end of a fiscal year, we have used all our travel
funds for the year. As much as we would like to fund your request,
we just do not have the money to do so. Remember, though, that if
you have departmental funds available, you may use those. You
may also want to check to see if any divisional monies are still
available.
I do hope you will be able to attend the conference. Please contact
me if you need help finding another source of funding.
 Bad News Correspondence
Discussion: The example above is much
more effective than example one. The
writer does a good job of using a common
ground statement and placing the reasons
before the bad news. In addition, the
memo is written with you-attitude. By
providing alternatives and offering to help,
the writer shows concern for the reader,
who consequently will probably react more
favorably towards the news and the writer.