From DIFFICULT People

to EFFECTIVE
People
12 Ways to Get Ahead in Life

VIVIEN R. DE GUZMAN, Ph. D.

 Are you a

DIFFICUL
T person?
Are you a…
GRENADE

SNIPER
TANK

YES PERSON
Liar to prove you
KNOW IT ALL KNOW IT ALL
NOTHING PERSON

WHINER
NO PERSON MAYBE PERSON
The TANK

pushes, yells, gives

orders, intimidates
The GRENADE

throws
tantrums,
yells
The SNIPER

sarcastic,
humiliates,
criticizes
The KNOW-IT-ALL

dominates conversations,
does not listen to others
They who
THINK THEY KNOW-IT-ALL

exaggerates, lies,
gives advice
The WHINER

constantly complains
The No PERSON

disagrees with
everything
The MAYBE PERSON

unable to make decisions

The YES PERSON
agrees to
everything,
takes on
more than
they can
handle
The NOTHING PERSON
doesn’t
say or do
anything
 How
SUCCESSFUL
People
Grow
12 Ways to Get Ahead in Life
JOHN C. MAXWELL
Key to Success # I

Become an
Intentional
Learner
Growth Doesn’t Just Happen
 Growth Gap Traps
1. The Assumption Gap

“I assume
that I will
automatically
grow.”
Become an Intentional Learner
 Growth Gap Traps
2. The Knowledge Gap

“I don’t know
how to grow.”

Become an Intentional Learner

 Growth Gap Traps
3. The Timing Gap
“It ‘s not
the right
time to
begin.”

Become an Intentional Learner

 Growth Gap Traps
4. The Mistake Gap

“I’m afraid
of making
mistakes.”

Become an Intentional Learner

 Growth Gap Traps
5. The Perfection Gap

“I have to find
the best way
before I start.”

Become an Intentional Learner

 Growth Gap Traps
6. The Inspiration Gap
“Pahingi naman
“I don’t feel ng papel.”
like doing it.” “Papel sa
buhay mo.”

Become an Intentional Learner

 Growth Gap Traps
7. The Comparison Gap
“Others are
better than
I am.”

Become an Intentional Learner

 Growth Gap Traps
8. The Expectation Gap

“I thought it
would be easier
than this.”

Become an Intentional Learner

 How to Become an
Intentional Learner
g a p .
e t he
r id g
B

Become an Intentional Learner

Key to Success # 2

Develop
Self- Awareness
You Must Know Yourself to Grow Yourself
3 Kinds of People
People who don’t know
what they would like to do.

Confused

Develop Self-Awareness
3 Kinds of People
People who know
what they would like to do
BUT don’t do it

Frustrated

Develop Self-Awareness
3 Kinds of People
People who know
what they would like to do
and do it.

Fulfilled

Develop Self-Awareness
How to Develop Self-Awareness
Answer.
1. What would you like to do?
2. What talents, skills, and opportunities do
you possess that support your desire to do
it?
3. What are your motives for wanting to do
it?
4. What advice can you get to help you
along the way?
5. What price are you willing to pay? What
will it cost you in time, resources, and
sacrifices?
Develop Self-Awareness
Key to Success # 3

Believe in Yourself
You Must See Value in Yourself to
Add Value to Yourself
Steps to Build Your Self-Image

Guard your self-talk.

Believe in Yourself
 Steps to Build Your Self-Image

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Believe in Yourself.
 Steps to Build Your Self-Image

Move beyond your limiting beliefs.

Believe in Yourself.
Steps to Build Your Self-Image

Add value to others.

Believe in Yourself.
Steps to Build Your Self-Image

Do the right thing,

even if it’s the hard thing.
Believe in Yourself.
 Steps to Build Your Self-Image

Practice a small discipline daily in

a specific area of your life.
Believe in Yourself.
How to Believe in Yourself
1. Make a list of all your best
personal qualities.
2. Make a positive talk to
yourself on day-to-day basis.

3. Serve and add value to others on

weekly basis.

Believe in Yourself
Key to Success # 4

Set Aside Time

to Reflect
Learning to Pause Allows Growth
to Catch Up with You
 G o o d
e t h e
Personal es ti o ns a r
o n
qu e f le c ti
Awareness Hear t o f R
Questions
Set Aside Time to Reflect
 What is my
What is my most worthwhile
biggest asset? emotion?
What is my
best habit?
What is my
biggest What is my
liability? worst habit?

What was my What is most

highest high? fulfilling to me ?

What was my What do I prize

lowest low? most highly?
What is my least
worthwhile emotion?

Set Aside Time to Reflect

 How to Set Aside
Time to Reflect

1. Have a place where you can

consistently and effectively reflect.
2. Schedule time to pause and reflect.
3. Create questions around your issue and
answer them during your scheduled times of
reflection.

Set Aside Time to Reflect

Key to Success # 5

Embrace
Discipline
Daily
Motivation Gets You Going...
Discipline Keeps You Growing
 Be Patient.
Embrace Discipline Daily
Value the process.

Embrace Discipline Daily

 How to Embrace
Daily Discipline

1. Be motivated.
2. Develop better growth habits.
3. Have reasons related to purpose,
vision, and dreams.

Embrace Discipline Daily

Key to Success # 6

Seek Out a
Positive
Environment
Growth Thrives in
Conducive Surroundings
Change Depends on Choice
Assess your current environment.
Am I continually
challenged?
Are others Is the
ahead of me? atmosphere
affirming?

Am I often out of Are others

my comfort growing?
zone?
Do I wake up
excited?

Seek Out a Positive Environment

Change Depends on Choice
Change yourself and your environment.

The right soil to grow in: What nourishes me?

GROWTH

The right air to breathe in: What keeps me alive?

PURPOSE

The right climate to live in: What sustains me?

PEOPLE

Seek Out a Positive Environment

Change Depends on Choice
Change whom you spend time with.

Associate with

PEOPLE

LARGER
than yourselves.

Seek Out a Positive Environment

 People who People with
are positive. integrity.

People who are

People who are
ahead of us
growing.
professionally.

People who lift People who

us up instead take the high
of knocking us road , never
down. the low.

Seek Out a Positive Environment

 How to Seek Out a
Positive Environment
Assess your current environment by answering
true or false to each of the following ten
questions.

1. Others are ahead of me learning.

2. I am continually challenged.
3. My focus is forward.
4. The atmosphere is affirming.
5. I am often out of my comfort zone.

Seek Out a Positive Environment

 How to Seek Out a
Positive Environment
6. I wake up excited.
7. Failure is not my enemy.
8. Others are growing.
9. People desire change.
10. Growth is modelled and expected.

If you answer false to more than five of the

statements, your current environment may be
hampering your growth.

Seek Out a Positive Environment

Key to Success # 7

Become
Highly Strategic
To Maximize Growth, Develop Strategies
Develop Strategies
for Life and
Growth
Life is very simple,
but keeping it that
way is very difficult.

Become Highly Strategic

Designing your life is
more important than
designing your career.
Life is not a dress
rehearsal.

Become Highly Strategic

 To develop strategies, depend on systems
What is a system?
Process for predictably achieving a goal
based on specific, orderly, repeatable
principles and practices.
leverage your time, money and abilities

SYSTEMS deliberate, intentional, practical

Improve your performance

Become Highly Strategic

 How to Become Highly
Strategic
Brainstorm a list of areas where you desire to
improve, are experiencing a problem, or
sensing an opportunity.
Career Faith
Family Health
Hobby Marriage
Personal Growth Vacation

Create a system to help you for each.

Become Highly Strategic

Key to Success # 8

Turn Negatives
into Positives
Good Management of Bad Experiences
Leads to Great Growth
BAD Experiences?
Everyone has them.

No one likes them.

Few people make bad experiences

positive experiences.

Turn Negatives into Positives

 PAIN FILE
THE PAIN OF…

inexperience hard decisions

incompetence financial loss
disappointment
relationship losses
conflict not being No. 1
change travelling
bad health responsibility
Turn Negatives into Positives
 How to turn your
PAIN into GAIN

1. Choose a positive life stance.

2. Embrace and develop your creativity.

3. Embrace the value of bad experiences.

4. Make good changes after learning from

bad experiences.
5. Take responsibility for your life.

Turn Negatives into Positives

Key to Success # 9

Learn to Ask
More Questions
Growth is Stimulated by Asking Why?
 Cultivate Curiosity
Believe you
can be curious.

Have a beginner’s mind-

set.
Learn to Ask More Questions
 Cultivate Curiosity
Make why your favorite
word.

Spend time with other curious

people.
Learn to Ask More Questions
 Cultivate Curiosity
Learn something new every
day.

Partake in the fruit of failure.

Learn to Ask More Questions

 Cultivate Curiosity
Stop looking for the right
answer.

Get over yourself.

Learn to Ask More Questions
 Cultivate Curiosity
Get out of the box.

Enjoy your life.

Learn to Ask More Questions

 How to Learn to
Ask More Questions

Sign up or do something that

takes you completely out of your
comfort zone.

Learn to Ask More Questions

Key to Success # 10

Find a Good Mentor

It’s Hard to Improve When You Have
No one but Yourself to Follow
 Who is the
Good Mentor to Follow?
A good mentor is…

A WORTHY EXAMPLE
Find a Good Mentor
 Who is the
Good Mentor to Follow?
A good mentor is…

AVAILABLE
Find a Good Mentor
 Who is the
Good Mentor to Follow?
A good mentor has a…

PROVEN EXPERIENCE
Find a Good Mentor
 Who is the
Good Mentor to Follow?
A good mentor …

POSSESSES WISDOM
Find a Good Mentor
 Who is the
Good Mentor to Follow?
A good mentor …

PROVIDES FRIENDSHIP and SUPPORT

Find a Good Mentor
 Who is the
Good Mentor to Follow?
A good mentor is…

A COACH WHO MAKES A DIFFERENCE

IN PEOPLE’S LIVES
Find a Good Mentor
 How to Find a
Good Mentor

There are plenty of people out

there who have integrity and who
are worthy to be respected and
followed.
Keep looking for them and you
will find them.

Find a Good Mentor

Key to Success # 11

Focus on Enlarging
Your Potential
Growth Always Increases Your Capacity
Ways to Increase
Your Thinking Capacity
thinking more work
thinking can I?

thinking what works

thinking how can I?

Focus on Enlarging Your Potential

Ways to Increase
Your Thinking Capacity
thinking one door
doing only those things
you have done before

thinking many doors

doing those things
you could and should do
Focus on Enlarging Your Potential
Ways to Increase
Your Thinking Capacity

doing what is expected

doing more than

is expected

Focus on Enlarging Your Potential

 How to Focus on
Enlarging Your Potential
Define what is essential to you
on daily basis. Once you’ve created
your list, figure out how you can
manage to follow through on each
of those priorities every day so you
stay on track and continue to
expand your potential.
Focus on Enlarging Your Potential
Key to Success # 12

Help Others Reach

Their Potential
Growing Yourself Enables You
to Grow Others
Be a RIVER
not a
RESERVOIR.
Help Others to Reach Their Potential
 Be
GRATEFUL.

Help Others to Reach Their Potential

 Put
PEOPLE
first.
Help Others to Reach Their Potential
 Don’t let
STUFF
own you.
Help Others to Reach Their Potential
 Don’t let
PEOPLE
own you.
Help Others to Reach Their Potential
 Define
SUCCESS
as SOWING
not REAPING.
Help Others to Reach Their Potential
 Focus on
SELF-DEVELOPMENT
not on
SELF-FULFILLMENT .

Help Others to Reach Their Potential

 Keep
GROWING
to keep
GIVING .

Help Others to Reach Their Potential

 How to Help Others
Reach Their Potential

1. Make the decision to put others ahead of

your own agenda.
2. Put your family ahead of your own desires.
3. Put the development of people at the
workplace ahead of your own
advancement.
4. Serve others instead of yourself.
5. Commit to it , and then invite others in
your life to hold you accountable.
Help Others to Reach Their Potential
Be EFFECTIVE People
not DIFFICULT People

BE