Marriage Survival

The Origin of Problems

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All marital problems begin with an alienation from
the thoughts of God and a preference for personal
thoughts and ideas.
– We are, at the core, selfish and egocentric.
– No one argues against the idea that we humans
fundamentally want our own way and resistant to
anyone who disagrees with us.
 Identifying Marriage Problems

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Relationship
– Unrealistic Expectations from past emotional injury
●
Communication
– Defensiveness and Competition
●
Intimacy
– Unwillingness to engage
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Finances
– Greed
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Infidelity
– Moral failure
 Communication

A process by which information is exchanged

between individuals through a common system
of symbols, signs, or behavior.
 Common System

●
In the background is a common Biblical name.
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Can you identify the name?
– The difficulty is in your inability to read ancient Hebrew.
●
Another language is foreign to you, as is other
cultures.
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Language even changes from family to family.
●
The name is JESUS
Learning the Language & Culture of the Bible
 Pursuing Biblical Language
Psalm 119:1-8
Great blessings belong to those who live pure lives! They follow the
LORD'S teachings.
Great blessings belong to those who follow his rules! They seek him
with all their heart.
They don't do wrong. They follow his ways.
Lord, you gave us your instructions and told us to always obey them.
How I wish I could be more faithful in obeying your laws!
Then I would never feel ashamed when I look closely at your
commands.
The more I understand how fair your laws are, the more sincerely I
will praise you.
I will obey your laws, so please don't leave me!
 Pursuing Biblical Culture
Isaiah 55:6-9

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye

upon him while he is near:
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous
man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD,
and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God,
for he will abundantly pardon.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are
your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are
my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts
than your thoughts.
 Communication Problems

●
All communication problems begin with an
alienation from the thoughts of God and a
preference for personal thoughts and ideas.
– We are, at the core, selfish and egocentric.
– No one argues against the idea that we humans
fundamentally want our own way and we are resistant
to anyone who disagrees with us.
 Reactive Communication
You Spend
All Our Money

Negative
Communication

Negative
Communication

You Never
Work

Argument, strife, and disagreement enlarge as each communicator reacts to the negative
communication.
 Breaking Reactive Communication

●
Most often it is broken by exhaustion with each
person leaving in disgust.
●
Reactive communication is best broken by
returning to Biblical principles.
●
So what are the Biblical principles?
– Put your husband first...(submit) 1Pe 3:1
– Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet...
1Pe 3:4
– Long ago, women like Sarah, showed her beauty by
putting her husband first.
Breaking Reactive Communication

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Be thoughtful of your wife... 1Pe 3:6
●
Treat her with honor...she shares with you in the
gift of life...then nothing will stand in the way of
your prayers. 1Pe 3:7
●
All of you should agree...should have concern and
love for one another...Be kind and humble... 1Pe
3:8
●
Don't be hateful and insult people just because
they are hateful and insult you. Instead, treat
everyone with kindness. You are God's chosen
ones, and he will bless you. v.9
 Interactive Communication
Help me
Understand how
You are hurting?

Positive
Communication

Positive
Communication

How can we
Work together?

Agreement, thoughtfulness, love, and humility will change reactive communication to interactive
communication..
 Biblical Construct

When you talk, you should always be kind and

wise. Then you will be able to answer everyone
in the way you should.

Colossians 4:6
 Closing Thoughts
●
Communication requires a common language and
culture. Let that common denominator be a Biblical
language and culture.
●
Self-centered egocentric communication always
results in reactive communication.
●
Chose Christ-like communication that is loving,
thoughtful, and humble; then you will be able to
communicate in a cooperative way that builds and
encourages those around you.