TON DUC THANG UNIVERSITY

ENGLISH PROGRAMS

BUSINESS WRITING
Extra activities – 2017
OUR CENTER
Building E
 OVERVIEW
Introduction A general guideline to effective Business Writing

Part 1 Letter writing Formats, layouts, opening and closing

Part 2 Writing emails and internal The golden rules and email editing
correspondence
Part 3 Complains and how to deal with What to include when complaining: useful phrases
them
Part 4 Writing concisely How to keep it short and simple; eliminate
unnecessary words; making the message clear

Part 5 Negotiating Using conditional; structure;

Part 6 Reporting Giving updates; useful phrases; model text analysis

Part 7 Using an effective tone Being polite; adjusting your tone for your recipient;
remaining positive
Part 8 Paragraphing Structuring your writing

Part 9 Editing and proofreading Identifying common mistakes; modal verbs; articles
 INTRODUCTION

When we write business

documents we follow certain Good
business
accepted conventions. To
writing???
ensure that what we write is
really effective, we need to
adopt a certain style.
A. General advice

Write the way you speak, eliminate any unnecessary words

- Due to the fact that..

- inasmuch as…. because….. 
 A. General advice

Write the way you speak, eliminate any unnecessary words

Adapt your language to the reader: write in a matter- of- fact,

conversational tone and use specific examples

Include all the relevant information the reader needs to know

Don’t let the reader have to make assumptions

X“ When we last spoke about the situation”

 “When we spoke on June 8 th
about the property in Plavecka 23”
 A. General advice

Write the way you speak, eliminate any unnecessary words

Adapt your language to the reader: write in a matter- of- fact,

conversational tone and use specific examples

Include all the relevant information the reader needs to know

Use specific terms that cannot be misunderstood

(Write about what people can

see, hear, touch, taste or
smell)
 A. General advice

Write the way you speak, eliminate any unnecessary words

Adapt your language to the reader: write in a matter- of- fact,

conversational tone and use specific examples

Include all the relevant information the reader needs to know

Use specific terms that cannot be misunderstood

Use words/phrases that set a positive tone  good impression

PROOFREAD YOUR WRITING

 B. Identifying problems

Read the extracts from the letters below and work with a
partner to re-write them more effectively.
 B. Identifying problems

1. With reference to the above mentioned purchase order.

Please be informed that this order has been received and will be
despatched forthwith. Any queries will be dealt with by this
office and you are requested to contact us if you require
assistance whatsoever.
 B. Identifying problems

2. I am sending to you this letter which I have written to inform

you that I have not received the computer software that we
ordered so that we can update our computer system and that is
due to us by the end of this month of June 1999.
 B. Identifying problems

3. Thank for your writing to us; we always appreciate to hearing

form our clients, unfortunately, the manager responsible, Mrs.
Jones, is being on leave on the moment and will not be in the
office until the end of July.
 B. Identifying problems

4. I am writing about your communication about an incident

that took place recently. I will be in contact in the future
sometime.
 B. Identifying problems

5. You will all have to choose which database program you want
to use. You can choose the Lotus 123 or the Microsoft Excel. If
you want this, tell my assistant who will install them.
 B. Identifying problems

6. Your recent report was not very good. You will find, if you
read it properly, that your facts are wrong. You did not conclude
the right things. This is because your information was not
reliable. Write it again by next Monday and give me copy
before you send it out.
 B. Identifying problems

7. John from an engineering company rang. He wanted to talk to

you about something.
 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
A. How to format a business letter

Read the letter below from Mr. Jay of British Crystal Ltd.
To Universal Airways Ltd.
 BRITISH CRYSTAL Ltd.
Glaier House, Green Lane, Derby DE1 1RT
Telephone: 0133245790 Telex: 901614 Fax: 0133251977
 
Your Ref:
Our ref: TL/ 456
 
Cargo Manager
Universal Aiways Ltd.
Palace Road
London SW 1
15 June 1997
 
Dear Sir
We would like to send from Heathrow to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, twelve boxes of assorted glassware, to be
delivered within the next fortnight.
 
Each box weighs 40 kilos, and measures 0.51 cubic meters. Could you please quote charges for shipment
and insurance?
 
Your faithfully
 
N. Jay
Complete the bullet points with a word/ phrase from the box.

a space the top on the left no punctuation

on the right at the margin

- The name and address of the person you are writing to are
______________.
- The date is ______________.
- There is ______________ after ‘Dear sir’; or ‘ Your faithfully’
- The paragraphs start ______________ and there is
______________ between them.
 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
B. Opening and closing business letters (British English)
Opening

Dear Sir/ Madam - to a company

Dear Sir ­- to a man if you don’t know his name
Dear Madam ­- to a woman if you don’t know her name

Dear Mr. Smith - to a man (use only the family name)

Dear Ms. Smith - to a married or unmarried woman

Dear Alison - to a friend/ someone you know

 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
B. Opening and closing business letters (British English)
Closing

Dear Sir/ Madam - Your faithfully (if you do not

know the person’s name)

Dear Mr./ Miss/ Ms. Jones - Yours sincerely (if you know
the person’s name)
Dear Alison - Regards/ Kind regards (if you
know the person well)
 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
C. Task: Join the openings with the correct endings

Dear Ms. Thomas Best Wishes

Dear Madam

Dear Mr. Wattana

Dear Mike Yours faithfully

Dear Mr. Jones

Dear Alice

Dear Sir/ Madam Yours sincerely

 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
Complete the table with the missing openings and closings.
The manager Ms. L James Clarks Shoe Co
Bangkok Bank Restaurant Richardo 891 Ocean St.
Phuket Guadalajara San Francisco
     
Dear ____________ Dear ____________ Dear ____________

Your ____________ Your____________ Your ____________

David Leader The Manager Mrs Frances Kong
Ave Robert 26 Sainsbury’s Supermarket 61 Fung Fai Terrace
1200 Brussels Bath Hong Kong
     
Dear ____________ Dear ____________ Dear ____________

________________ ________________ Your ____________

 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
D. More letter writing conventions

Write ‘O’ for opening, ‘E’ for ending and ‘R’ for replying next
to each of the correct phrases

• Thank you for your letter of...........

• I look forward to hearing from you....
• We are writing in connection with...
• We have received your letter of....
• Looking forward to hearing from you...
• If you have any further queries........
 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
E. Letter aims and fixed expressions
Read the phrases below and decide what the aim of the
correspondence is. Put the phrase in the correct box below.

Please accept our apologies once again...... With reference to....

I regret to inform you that....
Please could you....
you that....
This is due to the fact that…
I am please to tell you that....
We would appreciate it if you could....
I am writing in connection with....
We should be grateful if you could
I am sorry to inform
With regard to…...
This is owing to......
We are extremely sorry for....
We would like to know if....
 PART 1: WRITING LETTER
E. Letter aims and fixed expressions
Referring
 
Giving reasons
 
Giving good/ bad news
 

Requesting action
 

Requesting information
 

Apologising
 
 PART 2: WRITING EMAILS AND OTHER
INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE
A. 8 golden rules for great emails

Look at the advice for writing emails. What words do you think
would best complete each gap?
 PART 2: WRITING EMAILS AND OTHER
INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE
1. Use a ______ that summarizes briefly and clearly the content
of the message so the receiver knows what the email is about.

2. Use ______ simple sentences. Long sentences are often

difficult to read and understand.

3. Do not try to ______ directly from Vietnamese- it doesn’t

work and your email will sound inappropriate.

4. Never use an ______ or you could end up saying something

completely different from what you mean.

 PART 2: WRITING EMAILS AND OTHER
INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE
5. Take a moment to ______ and ______ what you have written.
Ask yourself if it clear and if the recipient will know what action
you want them to take.
6. Don’t ignore ______ and ______ . Accurate English is an
important part of the image you create with your emails.
7. Don’t use ______ unless you are writing informally to a close,
personal friend. They are not appropriate in a business or
professional context.
8. Remember to ______ and ______ your email appropriately.
 PART 2: WRITING EMAILS AND OTHER
INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE
B. Email editing

This is an email I received last week from Ms Han who is a

property agent in HCMC. I have met Ms Han once.

Look again at the Golden Rules and see if you can improve Ms
Han’s email.
 PART 2: WRITING EMAILS AND OTHER
INTERNAL CORRESPONDENCE
B. Email editing
Subject: Hello !!
Hello my Dearest Mr. Nei !!
 
How r u? Everything is good from my side thank you. Plise be informed that
from our meeting before last week until now I come by 4 new, high- quality and
top- mordern houses suitable for a foreigner same as you to look at ! I am sure
you will lik them  . There are some questions around here around the price
and will need to review the price before viewing the hous? Plis call me so we
can arrange a happy time when you would lik to view the hous.
 
I am appreciate your cooperation and hope we can cooperate together more
 
Ms Han
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
A. Complaining and linking devices

Look at the letter of complaint below.

•What kind of information is included in each paragraph?
•Which of the words in bold best fits each sentence?
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
 
Dear Sir/ Madam
I am writing to complain about the poor service we have received from your company.
 
Firstly/ Therefore, the goods you sent were not the ones we ordered. Our order dated 16 September
stated that we wanted 1,000 t- shirt. In particular/ however, we only received 800. Nevertheless/
Furthermore, we asked you to print our company logo in the top left corner of the shirts and you printed it
in the center. To make matters worse, your staff were very unhelpful when I called. Even though / Above
all, no- one took responsibility to sort out the problem – I was simply passed from person to person. In
fact/ In addition, after 30 minutes I gave up in frustration and ended the call. The whole matter was
treated by your staff as though it was completely unimportant, in spite of the fact that/ therefore we have
been your customers for more than five years.
 
In particular/ As a result, we are considering stopping all future business with your company.
 
Taking everything into consideration/ in reality, we mush insist on an immediate replacement order, to
reach here within 14 working days, at no cost to ourselves.
 
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
 
Alison Cooper
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
Look again at the letter above and finding linking phrases to
put in the boxes below.

Adding a point and Making a contrast Giving the

listing points consequence

Giving the most Saying what the real Introducing the final
important example situation is paragraph
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
B. Editing your complain letter

Compare the letter below with the one above. What differences
do you notice about them? What would you do to improve the
letter below?
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
B. Editing your complain letter
Dear Sir/ Madam
I have flown Thai before and thought it was very good.
However, this time things did not go to plan. My husband and I wanted to fly
from Bankok to Koh Samui. Then flight AB252 was cancelled a the last minute
and we don’t think we were given good information at the airport. We then
went to Surat Thani and had to stay in a hotel that cost Baht 1,400. We had to
take a boat to Samui the next day and I was ill.
All in all, it took us three days to get over the terrible experience of getting to
Samui. We wish to claim for the cancelled flight and hotel expenses. I have all
the receipts.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Mrs. Jane Thomas
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
C. A model reply

Underline useful phrases from the model letter, and write them
in the corresponding boxes below.
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
C. A model reply
Dear Mrs. Thomas,
Thank you for your letter of 24 January concerning flight AB252 from Bankok to
Koh Samui.
We are extremely sorry that the cancellation of this flight caused you and your
husband so much inconvenience. We have investigated this incident and found
that the flight had to be cancelled because of technical problems. We do
understand how frustrating it can be when this happens, but we are sure that
you understand that safety is our prime consideration.
We are also concerned that you were not satisfied with the information that
you received at the airport. We have passed your comments to the manager of
the airport information department. We assure you that we are constantly
striving to improve the service offered and your comments are helpful.
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
C. A model reply
We are happy to reimburse the 1,400 Bath expenses that you incurred at a
hotel in Surat Thani. Please send us your receipts and we will arrange payment
immediately.
We thank you for flying with us and look forward to welcoming you abroad
again in the future. Until then, we send you our best wishes.

Your sincerely
 PART 3: COMPLAINTS AND HOW TO
DEAL WITH THEM
1. Acknowledgement.
 
2. Apology
 
3. Explanation
 
4. Solution to the problem
 
5. A positive closing statement
 
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY

A. Keeping it short and simple (KISS)

We would like to inform of how concerned we are that you were in
any way inconvenienced by the unfortunate incidences that
marred your flight of 27th February and we do understand how
annoying it must have been under the circumstances, however,
due to the unavoidable nature of the above mentioned flight we
are completely unable to render to your command as requested.

 Wordy  not easy to understand

Work with a partner and rewrite the sentence, making it more
reader- friendly.
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY
Sentence analysis
We would like to inform you Do you really need to say this? Why not just say we are
concerned?

That you were in any way “ in any way” does this add any meaning to the sentence?
inconvenienced  

Inconvenienced
Unfortunate incidences that
marred your flight
must have been under the
circumstances
However, dure to the.....
Polite, but it is old fashioned and not very natural. Do you
say sorry for being inconveienced or sorry for the
problem?
How often do you hear people saying “ marred”? it is not
modern language- “ Spolied” is a better word.
“ must have been” is the correct verb tense- present
perfect simple. But, you can use the present simple “ we
know how annoying it is” to the same effect. Present
simple is used to describe things that are always true. It is
a simpler tense than present perfect.
This sentence is getting long
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY
Sentence analysis
The unavoidable nature This can be confusing to describe nature as being
unavoidable. It is better to say- this delay could not be
avoided.

The above mentioned flight Do you mean “ this flight”?

Completely unable Does saying that your inability is complete make it any
better?

Render your command This old fashioned- try “give”

Your command as requested Was it really a command or was it a request? It probably

wasn’t a command and if it was a request you do not
need to say your request as requested
 PART : WRITING CONCISELY

B. Eliminating unnecessary words

Example:
Please be informed that you should send the cheque to our
new office.
“ Please be informed” in this sentence is completely
unnecessary.

Try “You should send the cheque to our new office.”

 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY
Rewrite the following sentences - eliminate any unnecessary
phrases

1. Wish to tell you that we will be sending the goods next week.
2. We are going to make a study of the procedures.
3. We cannot employ another assistant because of the fact that we
have not achieved our sales target.
4. I wish to inform you that i would like three days leave for the
purpose of a vacation.
5. I am writing to you for the purpose of informing you that i shall be
visiting your area soon.
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY

C. Editing for concision

This extract contains 128 words. Try to reduce the number to

about 70 words. Make sure that you include all the relevant
information.
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY
Please be advised that I have carefully considered your email of
March 15th, in which you outline in some detail a plan for the matter
of modernizing our distribution services at our East Road ware
housing operation.
 
As a consequence of this, I have placed the proposal that you sent me
into the hands of my assistant, whose name is Jane Marshil, in order
that she may determine whether or not this plan is practical under
the specific circumstances.
 
Miss Marshall will be in touch with you by phone by about the first or
second of May with regard to the above mentioned matter in hand. If
it so happens that you wish to consult us at any time in the
intervening period, please do not hesitate to contact us.
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY

D. Making the message clear

In a hectic office environment we often do not have time to

carefully read and re- read all the emails and messages that
have been sent to us
 It is so important that what we write is clear and well
organized for our readers.
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY

D. Making the message clear

Example: “ I’m writing to inform you that the order you sent was
incorrect.”

•Has the writer stated which order? What it was for? Why it was
wrong?
•Rewrite the sentence including all the information that is
needed.
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY

D. Making the message clear

Read the email below.
Then rewrite it to make it clearer and user- friendly.
Include this information:
•Mr. Wright’s letter was dated 1st April
•He was asking for the specifications for model 45- X
•He is going to send the order by the end of the week.
 PART 4: WRITING CONCISELY

D. Making the message clear

Our Ref: DH45
Your Ref
 
Dear Mr. Wright,
Please be informed that we are in receipt of your communication of a recent
date, and as per your instruction, we shall forward the required products at as
early date as possible.
Most assured in serving you at our best attention at all times.
Regards
 
Charles Ladbroke
Sales Representative
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION

A. Brainstorm some examples of negotiations with

the following groups of people:
Customers
Suppliers
HR Managers
Other colleagues
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
B. Grammar: Use CONDITIONALS
IF + would/ could/ should
 to express requests, obligations, regret, desire/ wish,
possibility etc.
 
We would be able to offer you a discount if you make an order
for over $ 2,000 worth of products.
We could offer free delivery if you were to sigh a contract with
us.
Let me know what time would be best to have a meeting.
I’m sorry that we couldn’t help you on this occasion.
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
C. Negotiation email structure
• Clear opening statement: giving an indication of the
purpose of the email
• Details: including order requests, requests for info etc
• Actions: What actions (s) will you take, what action (s) do
you expect the recipient to take.

Be clear, precise and give a realistic time-frame.

The most important action should be highlighted (our primary
focus is...., my main concern is.... )
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
D. Useful phrases
Match phrases ( a-j) with the corresponding example and
sentence type below.
a) Let’s talk next week and see how things are going.
b) I can see what you’re saying, but.....
c) Can you give me some more information about..?
d) What do you think is the best way forward?
e) I’m sorry we couldn’t use your services this time, but I hope
there will be another opportunity.
f) Would you be able to......?
g) I am willing to....... (if...)
h) What aoubt if we....?
i) The main thing for me is...
j) That’s fine.
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
D. Useful phrases
Sentence type Example Letter
1 Asking for information What are your usual charges/ fees/ rates for...? _____
2 Requests Do you think you could...? _____
3 Emphasizing a main point My main concern at this stage is........ ______
4 Asking for a suggestion How do you think we should deal with this? ______
5 Making a suggestion Why don’t you.....? ______
6 Negotiating: being firm I understand what you’re saying, but.... ______
7 Negotiating: being flexible We would be prepared to... if... ______
8 Negotiating: agreeing OK, I’m happy with that for now ______
9 Next steps I’ll be in touch soon with more details. ______
10 Closing I look forward to working with you. ______
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
D. Useful phrases

Look at the negotiation email exchange below and select

an appropriate phrase complete it.
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
Dear Ms. Dupuis
Your name was given to me by Dominique Clement of Toulouse Business Services. I
understand that you recently did some IT training for them on a freelance basic. We
need some training along similar lines for our staff, and I am in the process of
looking at different options. I would be grateful if you could give me the following
information:
___________________________________________ this kind of work?
 
Are you available in early September?
 
Also some of our software needs replacing or upgrading before the training and the
original supplier has gone out of business.
____________________________________________________________ ?
I would appreciate your advice.
I lock forward to hearing from you soon.
Regards.
Karl Finlay
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
Dear Karl, thank you for your email. I attach a pdf file with our current rates and a
list of recent clients. Early September looks fine at the moment- can you let me
know the dates, times number of participants etc.? In relation to your final point,
__________________ send someone to the Software and Services Exhibition in Lyon
next month? A lot of suppliers have stands there.
Best wishes, Christine

Christine, thanks for the quick reply.

______________________________________ the cost, and we need to discuss
this before we go any further. I need to know that we will get good value for money.
______________________________________ send me more details of your
course program and your training methods?
You wanted some more information from us. I’m afraid I don’t know the exact dates
etc. at the moment, but
____________________________________________________
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION
Karl, I attach a typical course program for you to have a look at, although at this
stage it’s difficult to be too specific about your particular course.
____________________________________________________ give you a discount
of 10% on the prices I quoted earlier, if you paid half the total amount in advance.
___________________________________________________ value for money, but
our training programs are competitively priced and I can assure you that we have
always had very good feedback.
 

Christine, ____________________________________________ . I think we need to

have a meeting to discuss the training course in more detail. I’m free most
mornings- let me know when would suit you best. In the meantime, I’m attaching a
document that lists all the hardware that we currently have in the office, and the
new software we are going to install. Let me know if you need any more information
before the meeting.
____________________________________________________. Karl.
 PART 5: LANGUAGE FOR NEGOTIATION

E. Writing a negotiation email

Imagine you are Christine. Look at the last email response

from Karl in Section D. Write a response to negotiate the
meeting time and location. You may also want to ask some
further questions.
 PART 6: REPORTING

A. Type of correspondence

• What are the majority of your work emails about?

• What type of information is contained in progress
emails?
• When was the last time (if ever) you sent a progress
email at work?
 PART 6: REPORTING
B. Giving updates
Complete the email with a word from the box.
smoothly on to hit
make track

Here is a short update ____________ the launch of our new restaurant chain.
Up ____________ now the opening date for the first restaurant has been 8 May.
Unfortunately things aren’t running as ____________ as I’d hoped.
Although we’re on ____________ with the building work, we’ve ____________ a
problem with the staff recruitment. We haven’t got a Head Chef yet.
I still hope we will ____________ the launch date, but it all depends on filling
this key role. Please call me if there is anything else you’d like to know.
 PART 6: REPORTING
C. Correcting common mistakes
Can you correct these sentences? The email above might help
you.
1.Here is the short update on the process so far.
2.I’d like to inform you some update on our new distributors.
3.Up to now, things have gone well so far.
4.However, we still have some problems in sourcing carnation
for Mother’s day.
5.Unfortunately, the meeting ended without a resolution on the
overall price.
6.Unluckily, we do not have enough quantity to supply.
7.Our new distributor will hope to resolve this problem.
8.I’m emailing to discuss the problem of getting vegetarian food.
 PART 6: REPORTING
C. Correcting common mistakes
Now complete the table below with useful phrases.

Opening Describing Describing Giving advice/ Expressing Concluding

the email progress problems making hopes for
suggestions future
           
 PART 6: REPORTING
D. Your turn
You are organizing a Management Conference in District 1. You
are reporting directly to the CEO of your company on the
progress. Write a short email to report on the progress so far.

Aims Achieved so far

150 attendees
8 speakers on a range of subjects
Light breakfast and lunch followed by
a meal in restaurant
 
Hotel accommodation for all
attendees
150 confirmed delegates
6 speakers but two on the same topic
Breakfast and lunch confirmed at hotel
but unable to find a restaurant that
can cater for 150 people for a meal.
Rooms in hotel for 85 attendees
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
A. Writing with a positive tone
Read the two versions of the email. Which version do you
prefer? Why?
Version A
To: All staff
From: Jones, Dave
Date: 14 6 13
Subject: Coffee breaks
 
It has come to my attention that certain members of staff have been return
late from coffee breaks. While I realize there are often long queues in the
canteen, would you please ensure you only take the 15 minutes allocated.
 
Thank you.
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
A. Writing with a positive tone
Version B

To: All staff

From: Jones, Dave
Date: 14 6 13
Subject: Coffee breaks
 
Coffee breaks are only 15 minutes long, not 30. I am fed up with people
returning late every day simply because they are too busy chatting in the
canteen to return on time. It’s not good enough. When you have your break
watch the clock. You must get back to work on time. Excuses such as “ there
was a queue” won’t be accepted any more.
 
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
A. Writing with a positive tone
Match the impolite phrases from column A with a more polite
version from column B.

A B
1. You must clock in before 8.30
am.
2. I am fed up with people
leaving their shifts early.
3. Coffee breaks are only 10
minutes long, so don’t take
longer.
4. I won’t accept poor reasons
for being late.
a) I am afraid that I am unable to
accept....
b) May I remind you that...
c) You are reminded that you
should not......
d) Please remember to......
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
Rewrite the following sentences so that they are more polite. Use the
phrases in box B to help you.

1.I will not come to your meeting next week.

2.Don’t leave the Customer Service department before 4.30.

3.You all have got to tome to my office for a meeting at 10 am.

4.Give me your report by the end of the month.

5.I want my holiday next month.

 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
B. Adjusting your tone according to the recipient

Bernard Lee is Personnel Supervisor (Recruitment and

Development) in the Personnel Department of an Asian airline.
Bernard is currently studying the case of Alan Wong, a local
member of staff who feels might be a suitable candidate for
promotion. He decides to seek the opinions of other members
of the Department.
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
B. Adjusting your tone according to the recipient
Managing Director

Head of Personnel Head of Training

Personnel Supervisor Personnel Supervisor

(Recruitment and Development)

Personnel Officer Pesonnel Officer

(Local Staff) (Expatriate Staff)
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
Look at the list of different ways of requesting comments:

a.Please comment on the suitability of Alan Wong for

promotion.
b.I await your comments on the suitability of Alan Wong for
promotion.
c.I would like you to comment on the suitability of Alan Wong
for promotion
d.Can I have your comments on the suitability of Alan Wong for
promotion?
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
Look at the list of different ways of requesting comments:

e. Would you mind commenting on the suitability of Alan Wong

for promotion?
f. Could I possibly have your comments on the suitability of Alan
Wong for promotion?
g. Would it be possible to have your comments on the suitability
of Alan Wong for promotion?
h. I would be most grateful if I could have your comments on
the suitability of Alan Wong for promotion.
 PART 7: USING EFFECTIVE TONE
B. Adjusting your tone according to the recipient
Discuss which of these sentences Bernard should use if writing
to:

•The Personnel Officer (Local Staff)?

•The personnel Supervisor (Administration)?
•The Head of Training?

Use the organogram to help you decide on the most

appropriate phrase.
 PART 8: PARAGRAPHING
The following exercises give practice putting points in logical
order. For each set of points try and decide which point should
come first, which second, and so on.

1.You are writing a letter of enquiry for a quotation on office

furniture.

a.ask for prices including installation.

b.Subject Heading,
c.Describe office area and type of furniture needed.
d.Thank reader for help
e.Request quotation
f.Yours......
 PART 8: PARAGRAPHING

2. You are replying to the request for a quotation in (a).

a.Give detailed information about the type of furniture and its

cost.
b.Subject Heading.
c.Say you hope the quotation is useful.
d.Invite more contact.
e.Tell them your prices include transport, insurance and
installation.
f.Close the letter. Yours....
 PART 8: PARAGRAPHING
3. You reply to (b). You want to get the price down so request a
discount. What will you include in the letter?
 PART 9: EDITING AND CORRECTING
A. Common mistakes
To write effectively you must write correctly. Below there are
some sentences which contain common errors. Read the
sentences and identify the errors.

What type of error are they?

- wrong verb tense
- incorrect preposition
- wrong use of plural endings
- incorrect article
- wrong word form
 PART 9: EDITING AND CORRECTING
A. Common mistakes
1. I join this company to work at the position of manager.
2. I was graduated from university from 1992.
3. I graduated form university since 1992.
4. My works I have to use English to write letters and emails to
customer etc.
5. I need my writing to be more efficiency.
6. I’m not good in writing.
7. I am engineer for international company.
8. I am responsibility for three people.
 PART 9: EDITING AND CORRECTING
B. Using articles

Look at the following advertisement and correct errors in the

use of articles. There are ten mistakes in total.
 PART 9: EDITING AND CORRECTING
FREEFORM DESIGNERS PREVIEW
Freeform Designers Ltd., the new creative interior designing
organization, is proud to present the preview of its latest designs in
last week of November.
The director of Freeform, Mr. David Lynx, said to reporters about
preview,
“Interior Design market of Bankok is dominated by two firms. They
are too big to properly cater to needs of their clients. Freeform, on
the other hand, is all geared up to create the personal relationships
between clients and best designers in Bangkok.”
If you are looking for a best in Interior Design visit the Freeform
Preview, at the Bangkok Exhibition Centre November 24 to 30.
For the information and personal attention contact K. Somchai on
6549823.
 PART 9: EDITING AND CORRECTING
C. Using modals
Modal verbs play a very important role defining the purpose of
writing. The group includes: must, will, may, can, could, would,
should, ought to, might and have to.

Look at the sentences below and decide what the purpose of

each is. Choose a purpose from the list below and underline the
modal verb.

Order, regulation, decision, permission, advice,

suggestion, recommendation, request,
probability.
 PART 9: EDITING AND CORRECTING
C. Using modals
1. All trainees will have to attend the sessions in future.
2. We could hold the second meeting in Manila.
3. All administration staff must arrive before 8 a.m.
4. Can you let me have your comments asap?
5. She ought to be asked to leave the company.
6. I think you should write a memo.
7. She may have early leave but it will be annual leave not compassionate
leave.
8. It might be necessary for us to move the office.
9. Would you mind if I take early annual leave?
10. Will you please leave me alone to work?
 E0012 – Building E
Tel: 08 377 55 064
Email: ttc@tdt.edu.vn